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childcare providers mirium, willie smith, Telling "me" all they wished to hide by projecting their failures as "thinking" human beings onto me They should be glad that someone is not like them and able to explain them to eachother I understand they've been hurt and desoerately out of guilt try to act out their trauma by trying to contaminate and traumatiing innocents as if that could ever free their immature minds bound together by lies and evil acts against the innocent consciences so seared they have no normal love of true beauty or good character because it mreminds them of their innocence lost or not valued enough to not throw away prostitutes, pimps and tricks are all intercahngable and inevitably expredded clearly they have no better ideas than to do to others what was done to them sad acting out untalented actors so ashamed of themselves they coud never be honest White people feel empowered to be more honest with me, but not with themselves because they have filthy hands also no real ability and have no ability to o good and feel the need to try and justify their cruelty with their stories about their personal failures as human beings they can't accept themselves and could never really accept anyone else and they are the most lonely people because if their inability to be who they are complete with all of their so-called human foibles
I was never given a chancee to accept the outright because they kept me isolated and were too prpud to "ask" me not to tell all they've done to me Simply "asking' me was too much of a blow to their overinflated egos to handle they can't handle being viewed as wrong wjhile their many sins pile up Pililg coals on the heads of the evil so they can burn longr and hotter in Hell *Staten island dvance photo of the staged fired to have some pedophile fire fighter tell me how attractive he thinks my son and me are as some sort of a prelude to prostitution as if I could beileve their sudden interest as nothing short of self serving I figured they had the ability to gang up on me with their brand of cruelty when I was young proving to me they had no natural affection for children or women no one said they were wrong about me or sorry for having misjudged me just treating me like a piece of meat to be devoured like the rest of the lame brain prostitutes If they had any gestures towards me that weren't sinister and always leading to me not getting paid and refusing to parade around in bathing suits perhaps they ought to have taken the apptoach that Patty Quick did and provide me with a swimming pool of my own to swim in the it wouldn'thhave been so obvious pay to play no matter how much I payed they had decided based on pleasing their whores, Dot, Vikki, Valli, Lorraine, Lance, etc. they used and abused me all under the false belief that I had no choice their evil tug of war designed to split me in two by the two fake opponents againt me they never expressed being in my corner
they only tried to get me to take sides when these groups were not in opposition to eachother they just hated my innocence my innocence in the light of theircorruption was too much for the retards to bear i relect the paradise lost o them forever so they recall what they ere before they corrupted eachother with their intermingling and attachments to eachother they could never be clean from or repent of or be free of My Mother used to say get with the program not to me directly, but in her talking about others. 2007 a hispanic female comes into the laundrimat 0n east 109th st to tell me i was pretty and at some other time the same curly dyed red haired female told me to "get with the program" I had an aversion to the sight of blood when I was young and the color red. I thought it was because when I had nosebleeds my Mother would behave as if i were going to die. That Charlie Romas married trick of hers was visiting once when it happened because i had ben picking my nose. He put his keys under my back as I laid down. He told my Mother it would work to stop the bleeding. *the nosebleed I had in spanish class *Val's bleding out because of alcohol comsumption I now think my aversion to the color red was because my Great Uncle Norman Swilley's basement was painted red.
In 1982 we were there visiting our cousin Leroy and watching Simon and garfunkel's concert in Central park and Val had gone into the basement to play some records when Norm tried to kiss her. It was Roy's funeral we were supposed to be attending and she spurned him. I ha a similar encounter wiyh his brother Roy. I was threatened by Roy, Earl and Norm at the behest of Dot while she assured me they were correct. They said with glee "men will use you and dump you because of your attitude?" I asked what attitude and to explain, but they all just smirked and I was glad i hadn't been raped. I had no intention on having anything to do with the opposite sex because they were all spoken for and everyone had already rejected me from day one They went through alot of trouble to make that seem to happen to me, but they could never get past the fact that I was being raped being dumped by these sadistic, pedophile, homosexual, rapists was not at all what happened to me I was dumping married men who were forcing themselves on me It would have been a pleasure if they had dumped me I had not chose them in the first place They are weak minded and heavily into paraphilia fixed fantasies They may have fooled some people, but orchestrations are just that orchestrations Broken hearted losers The threat was most likely for Vikki's party gift and perhaps they ought to have had the power to orchesytrat Vikki actually graduating from St. Jon's University since that was her send off party that I did most of the work for.
I most likely paid for it as well. Perhaps they could have exercised this so-called poower to orchestrate Vikki not having to leave town due to her whoring and corrupting that Brock boy (Native American Decent lived in the same building 74 Roxbury st) ) by having sex with him on the Catholic church steps on Harbor Road! Some fake power of illusion It puts me in mind of Mussilinni and his fake tanks he showed off to Hitler So-called masters of illusion tricksters and clowns *Easter 1980 Dot goes after my first born with a knife and claims he's possessed. I think she just saw my Dad's face in her grandson and freaked out. He looks a lot like him, very handsome. *Dot fights with Val and sits on Brandy to kill her. **Dot attacks Val 1976 and I pull her off of her she says to me with an evil glare "you love her" as if it's a weakness
I/we saw Charly on TV 1968 - about the non-violent, retard who gets temporay intelligence 1976 my dig by giving Val Charlie perfume as a gift because she's a violent retard who will never be intelligent even temporarily which means she is destined to have a worse life than the character in the movie and she did 1977 read in Drama teacher PR High , a class Dot forced me to take her drama class - flowers for algernon I'm in the 1977 yearbook (Vals) in the drama club
*my prophetic dream about Val and I 1968 Grand Daddy John Swilley's anti-kicking rule *Aunt violet kicking me 1967 *Kim Fisher kicking me with Sonia Boone while Vik and Val watched in glee *Kenny Fisher and Vikkii's control over him *older Boone boy who Elbert Quick saved me from *Khadijah and her affair with hercousin judy's boyfriend while Judy's (daughter Mika) husband was in the service *they try and get me and Theresa's little brother together (military) Eddie his issues with his Dad *his mean Mother and her hatred for my handsome son *Theresa stories *Val's gallbladder operation/std *theresa's gallbladder operation/high n=lood pressure *Dot's hernia operation *Brandy's weird disease/obesity/lesbianism/White football player fiance *Val, Bilal & Brandy all hospitalized/operations, disease *their threats and trying to make Louie look like he's worthy of me or the best thing ever when he's nothing more than a sadisic bully who hates women, real women and not whores like Vikki who only pretends to help, but misinforms them *their being emasculated by their orchestraed marriages/wives and "needing someone to take it out on/the married "hand picked lisers" dead wife fantasies
*degenerate sex clubsfor the artificially promoted and idle idol worshippers * the use their "Carrie" experiences tas an excuse to try and trick others to feel as stupis and victimized as they do to never have to face and own up to rheir lack of understanding about human behavior *seemingly endless attempts yo degtade me while they are just like Vikki and Valli were in their youth projecting onto me the evil tricks played on them she and sheila, Marty and G Khadijahs dilemna with her daughter Rahkia and her grandmother *saw her and Patty Quick's nephew in bus station in Washington DC *Warren tried to take me to aryland to marry, but I didn't trust him because he told me he had sex with Patty Quick. I think he really didn't know we were cousins he said she was an exhibitionist and I told him if he liked her he ought to meet my half sister Vikki and as always the conversation must end because the bitch Vikki's name came up he said Patty drones on and on about her Bishop Father hating White people and she exclusively dates White males Yuck! he showed me a photo of a Black female he supposedly screwed and I was convinced he was one of Vikki's throw away hand picked losers Warren carney was way too interested in my biological Father and set it up for us to meet Warren told mye mybiological Father was a Satanist. *more on the Daddy Dearest and Warren stories apparently the idiots insist that I acceot them as they are while they insist that I change to make them feel comfortable with me.
Val's daugher raped by boy her age outside for all to see Val wasn't angry about the assault, but that the neighborhood kids came to me and told me because she was usually still sleeping her drunk off in the daytime and everyone knew she didn't care Wille Smith used to try and get me to intercede on Brandy's behalf because she was supposedly outside asking strange men for quarters Brandy gets attacked by cute boy who she chased, but he didn't like her *Dot spike Renatta's baby bottle while baysitting for Loradean 1964 and she tells everyone about it she was so upset *Val tries to make my Daughter retarded because hers is *if Vikki were Morris' child Dot would have given "her" the gold watch he gave Dot for their anniversary and not Val * 1967 there was a nursury school in this building and i recall a little boy and girl playing doctor. They pulled eachother' pants down and looked at eacothers private areas in turn with one laying down while the other one looked. It seemed normal, but it may have been staged because i was looking out of the window. The pedophiles could have easliy staged it for me to see
*Dot asking me "you know things, how do you know things"? I always answered "what do I know" *the men in Black in Manhattan who project "I know you and you know me their appearance freks out Vincent Joseph or so he says *Vincent Joseph after attending Joe Devoe's funeral I'd seen an hour before he died in Stapleton Park
no coincidence they were always trying to scare meThey were always trying to condition me into think they were all encompesing I learned from loving that ungrateful Mother of mine that you can't make people love or like you *Dot used to say to me as a threat "if your Momma don't want nobdy will" I thought it was something she was remebering and said to her as a threat I knew she was telling me that no one in the world would want me and she had already threatened us when we were very young that we had nowhere to turn and were stuck with her when she would threaten to put us in homes for bad girls she said the homes for bad girls were worse than being ruled over by her she made it clear by repeatedly saying that she only wanted Vikki she said she had only agreed to have "one" child for Morris and she seemed to not care that Morris would prefer his own child which she gave him (Val), but she still didn't want her either Her threats and the others thinking I could be like a male and aggressively seek out males to help or save me was a joke when everything she said seemed to be true she could tell her men nto to favor me and they obeyed all of the men were hers and she told them all the same or worse what could anything in this world matter to me when there wasn't anythin or anyone of value when Dot, the murdering prostitute was in charge of their thoughts and feelings towards me it was silly to waste my limited energy on trying to have relationships with people
men were their power and they were keeping them all to themselves for their welfish purposes It was obvious that I couldn't physically beat them though I didi manage by the grace of God to hold my own They preferred power over money and would never think beyond it Vikki would rather live in that project apt than in a house Vikki din't notice that they only people who were leaving were families with husbands and she with all of her obsessing on me was more interested in trying to crush me and being in the ghetto would serve her purpose of finding criminals who hate biracial people like her It's not my fault that she refused to have a relationship with me or i would have saked her to cease and desist and I'll continue to work, but only if they would agree to end the beatings and attacks of all kids so we could have a better standrd of living, the reason I worked in the first place, for a better standard of living I was embarrassed to have to work as a child an I knew that it was a shame and an indication of us not having men to provide and protect us It was our ticket to a better life and they preferred to play the willie lynch slave they think that trying to pretend that i just like the all of a sudden that I am or ever could be when they, anyof them who've benfited from my being born canand do for me what I've done for thme then and only then can they be superior to me I have a natural ove for my biological Father and if he had just not played games, they swear Geminis like games and puzzles (maybe they do under ordinary cicumstances where they are allowed the luxury of such activities *Edith was beaten in the street so the pedophiles could see her breasts
she threw up and later was paraded in front of me in Parkhill as a prostitute they'd (Vikki and her crew of White male and female staff members at our schools she was having sex with edith was attacked because she had hazel eyes and may have been one of their trick babies I never knew anyone and anyone I liked Dot would not allow me to have any contact with until after they slandered me to them and made a relatioship impossible because they can slander, but not build up because it's not hteir natureI am right and Dot, Vikki and Valli never understood the insults they poured out onto us, mainly them because I am not one of them like having Emma live next door to us how Dot used to nearly have an orgasm retelling how she overheard Emmas (Kimbrough/Alabama) boyfriend Price, physically abusin her about how she heard her pleading with Price to "let me up" I guess he was holding her down physically She got such a kick to have someone next door that had lost her house in a divorce like she did she said that she nust have done something wrong because they courts never take th ehouse from the Mother unless she did something really wrong I suppose it's just the Black prostitutes and their children who suffer that fate in the courts *this didn't see to bother Vikki an the Perry's were an apparnt, deliberate insult and Vikki and Valli could only obsess about me I think the Jim Crow laws were designed to destroy the Blacks and dropping bombs like me into their midst could keep them doing exactly what the WHite supremisits They kow all they have to do is give someone like me a fake compliment and their Black male and female prostitutes will do the rest
they'll try and take down anyone they think will receive favor from them whether deserved or not because they have "mingled themselves with them and degraded themselves with them for favor and no matter how much I have to offer they figure they can just steal from me and benfit from me all the same while keeping their Blacl male and female criminal cohorts contolled and bound to them As if there were any honor among theives They, like the Bible says have pleasure in eachothers evil they hate my life because it reminds them of just how dead they are and haing no souls they are inconveneintly bound to having to feel vicariously through others they can never have my pure feeling because they are corrupted and condemned to an eternity of misery in Hel
They are nothing, but criminals, condemned by God and delusionally beleiving that they are gods They may be gods, but not the all powerful God I serve and worship who says they are evil and explains what evil is and I totally agree with him about his view about everything I trust him because he can't lie truth is love he is all powerful because he can't lie everything except giving me my money and freedon to relocate away from them and their kind The cowards never scared me because they were all just a bunch of losers who had absolutely no self control and would inevitably punch themselves out
They are probably demon ossessed due to the glazed over look they have in their eyes. They also have the look of some type of deep seated emotional pain they can't get over. Thank God for Jesus Thank God for Jesus because this world would be absolutely unbearable without him.
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