when i came to you i forgot some important things like how having the capacity to love is as important as love

itself, for some people never can reach outside of themselves far enough to touch the souls of another; 'its not their fault its just that no one taught them.' you say on the one hand, but i had very little training in love myself seeing how all my clan mistook emotional blackmail for love and not freedom no freedom yet here i am denying you yours, the freedom to be as self absorbed as a person needs to be to get some work done on himself when the construction date is way past due... you look at me with those eyes that say, i am trying to do this but give me time and i am looking back with eyes that are running out of time and cannot wait too much longer if i am going to discover teh secret of the universe before i die... you see that is the thing,i want to know things and they are not things that can be found here in these four wallls with these four people unles someone blows up the boat real soon and we end up catapulted over the moon and flying, we could fly and that would be one thing but to be here in the beautiful fortress of love and denial is not always the way to nirvana. and all of this would be easy to resolve for me except for the fact of your hot little body pressed against mine in the night which burns and burns a place deep inside my soul that i thought had closed down forever and yet, your warm palms and your dry skin which radiates like a nuclear reactor against the disappointments and stone cuttings of my heart-( a heart that used to be flung wide open for any fool to come in, til that last time when i latched it and that was that.) -til you and your intuitive body came to me and said ''don't be

fooled by the words of this fool he doesnt know what he is talking about and has yet to listen to his body's wisdom which is a religion of pure love and earthy delight, and he doesnt trust it yet which is why i came to find you. Don't leave me here stuck with no voice,'' he says to me. And i, who was voiceless and without an avenue of expression for so long, cannot deny him. so hold me from a place not your brain or your terrified heart, hold me with the corporeal self that knows so much better than you do what your name is and shouts it out to me when there is nothing else to be said but love love love love love love don't leave it alone in the dark. listen.

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