This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
Entire Sector Wiped Out
A! members of SED/ICT ki!ed in tragic, but avoidable, accident
Important Reminder: Remaining Holidays in Benin when the PC office will be closed. Those in Bold, Italic and underlined are Benin holidays so also for PCVs, remember that PCVs do not get American holidays. Wednesday, July 4 US Independence Day Saturday, July 14 Bastille Day Thursday, July 19 Houngbedji’s Birthday Wednesday, August 1 Benin Independence Day *In addition, please note that the office will be closed for the month of June for US Employee Month and for the month of August for US Employer Appreciation Month. PCV days remaining this year: October 5 & 6 sectors, nor even Peace Corps Headquarters. “I wish I could say they’d be missed, but, frankly, after they released the SED|BEAT.. Well, let’s just say if this hadn’t happened I might have taken matters into my own hands,” said Natalie Newman. The Medical Unit has issued a warning to all PSL-19 SED/ICT volunteers against a possible ripple effect, and has advised them to not gather in groups of more than three lest tragedy strike again.
OUIDAH - Since the beginning they knew they were “hot shit” but it only snowballed as time continued. The SED/ICT volunteers have yet to let anyone forget that nobody in their program has ET-ed and that their APCD is the sexiest Beninese man on Earth. Moments before the beginning of their Early COS succession the group a final blowout. As usual, those not in SED/ICT felt left out and turned in early. A couple of EA volunteers nearly with it enough to be in SED/ICT, the last ones to leave the party alive, said the crowd was full of energy but nobody talked about anything besides how great SED is, was, and ever will be. Investigators assume the SEDocentrism made heads
bigger and bigger resulting in each brain bursting. “It’s like when someone vomits, others smell it and start heaving.” This time though, as the coroner has confirmed the domino effect can be attributed to the pressure increase associated with an immediate soar in social status. For example when Ms. McCollom’s head exploded Ms. Miner realized she’d moved up, by default, in the ranks of coolness. Mr. Dali, boyfriend of Miner, benefited as well, cool by association. Neither were equipped to deal with the immediate soar in social status and in turn their brains exploded. This tragedy has, surprisingly , not been met with an outpour of support from the other
Africa’s premier nightclub, but the two feuding divas appeared civil as they danced among separate entourages. It wasn’t until Lohan’s beau of the moment, Orlando Bloom, spied Miss Crysler and reportedly said “mmm, slice me off a piece of that…’, Lohan jumped onstage to tear the microphone out of her rival’s hand. Miss Lohan is currently hospitalized and will be attending rehabilitation. On the other hand, Miss Crysler had only one comment: ‘It was a shit show…but bitch had it comin’to her!’
Landmark PCPP Funded
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
for the past two years to develop a unique blend of Sodabi, moringa powder and a secret ingredient rumored to be the charred remains of Amanda’s dog. (Poor little guy) The duo has created a blend that is robust in flavor and is guaranteed improve the health you and your children.
Volunteer Forms ONG
Carpenter turned Carpenter
After mixed success in her website creation firm, Theresa Carpenter, has broken new ground in Benin today. In order to supplement her income, she has become the nation’s first female carpenter. “My name had nothing to do with it: the money is good and I get to create.” Whether she’s building tables of wood or creating tables in HTML we wish her well: Peace out girl scout!
PC Equipment Vandalized
After a lethal computer virus named Pimp Daddy wiped their USB clefs clean, Sue and Kat decided to seek revenge on some poor, yet deserving soul. Beckoned by the ‘toner low’ indication on the printer, they abducted the unfortunate victim, jumping on zems touting ‘dieu te voit’ Let’s hope Dieu didn’t see their next actions, as they headed to the bush, throwing the poor guy to the ground and pummeling him till he was no longer…Fortunately, a kind soul located the PC reference number on the side and Improving Health Through returned the printer to Peace Corps, Drinking who restored it to its rightful place Noticing the declining health in the third floor computer lounge. and eyesight of many of their Adja Trouble at Le Chevalier land neighbors, Brandy and According to US Weekly, this Cortney, have been leading, until now, secret operation in week’s party girl, Erin Crysler, bitch-slapped Lindsey Lohan at Le bootlegged sodabi—we didn’t Chevalier for trying to cover of her think it was possible either, but apparently, you can even bootleg rendition of ‘Georgia’. Tensions homemade brew. They have been were mounting throughout the utilizing the expertise of Kantos evening at Le Chevalier, West
Pahou volunteer, Garrett Hyzer, opened the first McDonald’s in Benin today as a result of a groundbreaking PCPP. Titled “Education Center for Entrepreneurs / Nutrition Center / Youth Recreation Area”, the project was funded in record time. The opening ceremony was accompanied by a women’s groupement who honored the first chicken McNuggets with a fine rendition of the Beninese chicken dance. This McDonalds franchise is completely staffed and supplied by local women and uses only renewable or recyclable byproducts like banana leaf wrappers, tree bark, and tires. It is rumored that his plump, red tomatoes are grown in the finest human excrement available. Garrett sees growth potential for his franchise, and is threatening to take over Cotonou, even as Cotonou takes over Pahou. Watch out Steers!
After losing yet another beloved furry friend (see Improving Health Through Drinking), Amanda has chartered a new NGO with her artisan colleagues called: “The society of wreaking havoc and civil disobedience on all individuals who seek to kidnap, maim, dismember, quarter, disembowel, decapitate, de-hair, disgorge, dissect, or otherwise maim fourlegged friends for purposes other than lucrative scientific experiment, oh we’re against ‘haters’ too.” (S.W.H.C.D.A.I.W.S.K.M.D .Q.D.D.D.D.D.O.M.F.F.P.O.L.S.E .O.W.A.H.T.) They meet daily at eight, ten, two, and six at the yellow bar to discuss their strategy and to booze up. She welcomes newcomers but kindly requests that you leave all monkeys at home.
Your comments make a difference! Here is a sampling of the most helpful we’ve received this month • Trojan XXXXXXXL condoms for those extra large members • Hyper-color MIF kits (to make MIFing even more fun) • More Meﬂoquine! • Sex-locks on the med-unit rooms (or socks to hang on door handles) • More paperwork for COS • Less prepared water in the med unit—it’s fun to boil water ourselves!
NEWS BRIEFS (CONT.)
Finishing School Opens
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
for those extra-long bike rides are available to increase the overall beneﬁts. The ‘punani protector’ will be available in stores nationwide and will be distributed to all female Peace Corps volunteers worldwide in order to avoid, “any unfortunate events,” though we are unsure what those may be.
Volunteer Promotes Village
After evaluating the speciﬁc Ground Breaking Operation to be needs of his community, Charles has Performed in Cotonou developed a business plan Curtis Roberts has that is beneﬁcial for all. announced that he is He has decided to actually a heterosexual give something woman trapped in a back to the gay man’s body. He individuals has scheduled a sex who have change operation at given him so the CNHUmuch pleasure Cotonou, where and highly capable fulﬁllment. physicians will Utilizing his perform the ﬁrst sex southern charms, change in West Africa. Charles has recently opened the “I would actually prefer Reeves Finishing School for that Dr. Lomo perform the Young Women. Young women surgery,” said Curtis. “But the CNHU staﬀ seemed very conﬁdent, between the ages of 14 and 18 are personally selected by Charles to and told me they had done it ‘a train at this state of the art facility in million times’.” courses ranging from conversation If successful, Curtina will look skills to proper walking and sitting like a cross between Angelina Jolie techniques for a ‘lady’ as well as and Michael Jackson, and will be relocating to China to pursue his- er- some more ‘practical’ and ‘hands-on’ pursuits. Though some questions her lifelong dream of becoming a Chinese opera diva, accompanied by have arisen about what sort of her Nigerian boyfriend, Houmoulou. charms Charles is focusing on, we have been assured that his intentions are chastely honest. Peace Corps Benin Announces
Even after working with Peace Corps to organize taxi drivers for Cotonou, Meredith Michaud was still not satisﬁed with the transportation situation after-hours. In large part thanks to her eﬀorts Peace Corps recently announced a new shuttle schedule that included a nightly Cotonou route. “This puts the Safe Ride Home buses we had in college to shame” beamed Meredith. Not only will Peace Corps pick you up and drop you oﬀ, it will also stock the Land Cruisers with “American Flag” bottles of alcohol. (PC Regulation 13,33R states all alcohol consumed in US Government vehicles must be domestically produced) The Land Cruisers, in their new mode, will also feature spinning hub caps, ground eﬀects and loud dance music with strobe lights.
New Peace Corps Equipment to be Issued
Shayne Doyle recently revealed her plans to develop and market a new type of bicycle seat, one that is constructed of environmentallyfriendly materials, is more eﬃcient and ‘is designed to protect and preserve the hyper-sensitive punani’. When asked what motivated her to develop such a seat, Shayne declined a response, but sources say that a personal and traumatic experience may have led her on this venture. Her business strategy is simple: she plans to use her new beau as bait to lure white women to trade shows where she will unveil the new gelatinous mold seat, patented as the ‘punani protector’. The breakthrough seat will be available in a variety of colors and is customizable to ﬁt the special needs of every client. Add-on features, such as massaging ﬁnger-like nubs
Seeing that her village was not even on the map, Erin Sillin has launched a new plan to draw visitors and national attention to Ago… something. After much debate and a few under-the-table bribes, Erin convinced the mayor and other authorities to change the town name to mirror one of her more successful projects, and thus Ago-whooseywhatsit will henceforth be known as Pooville. The town plans to build a new goudron to increase access to the village, which will feature stateof-the art latrines or poo-places. After arriving in Pooville, visitors can visit the Pooblic gardens, shop at Poo Poo Palace Mall, or while away the afternoon at the ﬁrst amusement park in Benin, Poo Land. Disney may have a run for their money, as competition will surely spike once children throw oﬀ their stupid mouse ears and ﬂock to see the Poo Poo Pony. A range of souvenirs including shot glasses, hats, signature perfumes, recipes and replica li’l nuggets will be available, so that everyone can take Pooville back home with them.
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
Tips for gettin’ it on without word gettin’ out
stake in not outing you. I’ve found food is a pretty good bribe. Now the challenge: a grandslam! Realize that you’re in a whole new ball game. No disrespect but PC girls are just as, actually more hard up than PC guys (save the smart ones who date outside of the PC community). It’s certain that you had trouble with the ladies in the States, or else you wouldn’t be volunteering: pretty people don’t have to volunteer. Since these girls are easy but your not good with girls here’s a quick review: 1. Put your arm around her. 2. Smile with that “You couldn’t be more beautiful” look in your eye. 3. Squeeze a little tighter when you laugh. 4. Invite her to a more private place.
This is the bi$est issue for PCVs; even you dolts that watch Star Trek and don’t know anything about sports. Nothing is private in PC! This is why a clean image is imperative. Your image makes her feel safe to go to a private place because nothing’s going to happen because nothing ever happens with this guy. 5. Kiss her.
WHOA! Something’s happening, she thinks, and it’s special because nothing ever happens with this guy. 6. Do your thing. Alright, you can treat your new found success like A) a JV basketballer and boast to your boys of your latest conquest or B) you could keep it quiet. Which do you think is a better way of ensuring future ‘tang? If you picked A the good news is you won’t have to worry about any pregnancy scares anytime soon, I hope you have a two year supply of lotion.
Odds are if you’re a guy in Benin you should be getting action. Those are just the odds. Why then, are my friends complaining about the ‘dry season’ (not chaleur)? First, does anyone like sloppy seconds? We all agree no. You might not be that opposed to them but you sure as hell don’t like ‘em. Here’s a secret: girls hate ‘em. So, if you’re going to be successful you’ve got to maintain a clean, sparkling, immaculate image. I cannot stress the importance of keeping a low proﬁle. People have got to think you never leave post. Your postmate also has to be sly and most importantly have a personal
Look for THESE in Jonquet! New Titles, staring PCVs!
Talk Nerdy to Me Ones and Zero's have never been so hot. A bout with amoebas causes a few 'syntax errors' to occur but, our heroes recover by spouting off HTML en francais. Hitchhikers Guide to Benin Two volunteers thumb across the country. But, there's no such thing as a free ride. Times get tough when the camion drivers of Djougou refuse to rouler protege. Not so Small, Small She was headed to the marche for some plastics and got more than she discutered for...
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
IF I DIE BEFORE I WAKE I PRAY THE LORD MY SOUL TO TAKE... I’d already said goodbye to my family and friends that I was ﬁnally ready to have the mickey friends, just in case. Now, I sit wearing a little more taken out of me. than with what I came into this world. My heart races under the hospital green smock. It’s not everyday you get something this delicate removed. Over the past couple of months I’ve been coming to terms with my diagnosis. I remember being so terribly embarrassed before during the diagnosis process. I’d sit in the med unit TV room, people would come in and ask me what I was ‘in for’. Tears welled in my eyes, I was torn. They were asking me to disclose more than I wanted or to lie to them. Lie! I chose halftruth responding with, “We’re still trying to ﬁgure it out.” Even this answer made me feel like an outcast. God, why couldn’t I have just had schisto? I felt all alone. Then, Anne said to everyone at All Vol,’it’s alright to take the mickey out of someone, you just have to be careful.’ That put me at ease and afterwards I told only my closest TUCKER TRANSFERS, VOLUNTEERS VOMIT went down alright, but an hour later I began vomiting and wondering if I could go on.” Though well publicized, Gabe’s February departure arrived much too quickly for most. When asked if she found life post-Gabe rougher SPA addict Emily Howe replied, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.” A few other volunteers voiced their feelings about Gabe’s transCOTONOU - Minor shock fer to Togo. “I have an Uncle waves rippled there way through Gabe, he’s aloof and unreliable. southern Benin a few months ago It’s weird how my former APCD when the announcement of Gabe isn’t at all like that. I guess APCD Gabe Tucker’s reassignit just goes to show no two ment was made. “It hit me like Gabe’s are the same.”, Courtney some bad guacamole,” comHaley. While Sue Duvall added, mented Margaret Graham. “It “He seemed like a really nice guy;
I’m sure I would have loved working with him.” Our correspondent in South Africa had this to say: “I appreciated the level of comfort my boss had with me. The day he left his MIF kit leftovers in my bathroom, knowing I would be more than thrilled to take care of them for him proved he saw us as equals.” A distinct drop in volunteer productivity across sectors was realized in the quarters following Gabe’s departure. The law of cause and eﬀect proven yet again but, can PC Benin handle the equal and opposite reaction?
Un petit s’est approché à son professeur de maths pour lui donner ses exercises. ‘Monsieur, qu’elle est la différence entre l’addition et la mutliplication. Le professeur a repondu : Putain ! Je déteste les putains élèves ! Va à l’enfer !
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
Delightful memories of Strawberry Shortcake and Strawberry Sundaes might draw you initially to this sweet ﬂavor. The delectable fruit overtones and pleasing pinkish hue of the condom surface will make you stay. That is if you can stand the somewhat sour, artiﬁcial and non-long-lasting taste that is delivered. “It certainly sme!s berryish! I’! take the tip.” CL: 2/5 B: 2.5/5 M: 4/5 L: 3/5
thinking of in a situation where these would come in handy!” CL: 0/5 B: .5/5 M: 1/5 L: 0/5
Reviewed at last
Unlike vanilla, chocolate is a ﬂavor that can stand on it’s own two feet. With memories of Hershey’s chocolate milk, can you really go wrong with a ﬂavor like this? “Once you’ve gone black...” CL: 4.5/5 B: 4.5/5 M: 4/5 L:4/5
The more self-concious of us might be tempted to choose this In continual pursuit of the truth ﬂavor, however the reviewers we sought out each of the ﬂavors, were nearly unanimous in agreement that this ﬂavor did traveling far and wide across not live up to its’ potential at all. Benin; from the deep south where we discovered the mint “This is a nice toilet bowl color, scent: ﬂavor, to the far north where mouth wash.” vanilla and chocolate blossom. CL: 1/5 B: 1/5 M: 3/5 L: 2/5 With help from guest reviewers Chestie LaRue, Bambi and Mimi, Vanilla (Blue) you can go forth armed with the Ice cream. Is there anything else knowledge and power of ﬂavor that is vanilla ﬂavored? And selection. honestly, who even really LIKES Because of the larger number of reviewers, comments could not be easily attributed. Please note all opinions are completely biased. If you don’t agree with us you’re probably wrong. vanilla? I mean, sure we tolerate it alone... but vanilla is a base ﬂavor. A ﬂavor to be augmented with chocolate bits, orange popsicles, almost anything BUT wang. Suﬃce to say the reviews on this ﬂavor were negative. “This color blue makes me think of a baby boy, not what I want to be
As part of our standard issue medical kits, Peace Corps graciously provided us with more than the standard issue condom. Not content with the simple LifeStyles (or for variety the LifeStyles Xtra Pleasure) they took it one step further. That’s right: ﬂavors. In their commitment to us and our sexual safety we were given a plethora of pleasure protectors, a cornucopia of condoms, a dowry of dong sarongs, a ﬁstful of ﬂavors. No one knows exactly what sparked their appearance... Perhaps the medical staﬀ thought they knew something about PSL-18, or perhaps they were just on sale. The world may never know.
Ignoring the obvious phallic connotations of this fruit inspired ﬂavor was diﬃcult. Banana ﬂavor is possibly the most widely divided review condom. Our reviewers either liked it a lot, or didn’t like it at all. “I’m very satisﬁed with banana” CL: 4/5 B: 4/5 M: 2/5 L: 1/5
Grape is another one of those ﬂavors that like licorice is either hated with passion or loved with the same. The pretty color and chewing-gum reminiscent ﬂavor will take you back. “It sme!s like candy... Big League Chew maybe” CL: 3/5 B: 3/5 M: 4/5 L: 1/5
All of these childhood memories bundled up in little plastic packages are actually somewhat disturbing. Cola ﬂavor is derived from Kola nuts, which are readily available here in Benin. They are high in caﬀeine and are a mild hallucinogen. Sounds like the perfect formula for a condom. “This is the one I feel most warmly about performing on” CL: 4/5 B: 4.5/5 M: 2/5 L: 2/5
Top three ﬂavors for each reviewer were as follows: CL: Chocolate, Cola, Banana B: Chocolate, Cola, Banana M: Strawberry, Grape, Chocolate L: Chocolate, Strawberry, Cola
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
12. Sonny and ______ 14. Smooth _____ silk 15. Take a ride on my _____, baby 16. Product of Songhaï 18. Dangerous insecticide still used in Benin 21. Our month-long CD 22. Comé roadside specialty 23. 9 weeks of Hades 24. The endangered sector 25. A Beninois urinal 27. Time, tag, and a-muffin starter 28. Fave shop spot for female PCVs vacationing in Paris 29. Aerobic starter 31. Position of 94-across 35. Who shot _____? 37. A frequent tobacco chewer 38. Gwyneth’s daughter 40. An African papoose 41. Beninese secret society 42. The light at the end of the tunnel 45. ______ joy 46. Preferred mode of transport for PCVs 47. Peace Corps and Marine Corps versions surprisingly similar 48. Home of “Sister, Sister” 49. Instant hangover in a box 51. Bonne place to pick up chicks 53. She works hard for her money, so you better treat her right 56. Chez our dear PCV refugees 58. 12h – 15h 59. Baseball stat 60. Ca empêche les bisous 62. Easier to buy in Jonquet than regular movies 67. Preferred over cups, even if smelly 68. Bouffer, literally 69. By way of 70. Children do this partout except in latrines 71. Yoga greeting 72. The cause of and solution to all of life’s problems (in Benin) 75. Pounded on a daily basis (Fr.) 77. Ice, Choco, Yogo, Xtra starter 79. They’re here to listen 81. Anne Martin’s neighbor 82. Mosquitoes and prostitutes swarm now 85. Le fruit musical 86. Response to Nasuba 91. Jim fears its creation 93. They keep you regular 95. Minimum number of times Ben’Dali has had amoebas 97. Attracts tanties 98. Style of The Specials and The Mighty Mighty Bosstones 101. _______ mater 102. “J’ai un peu de ______ “ 105. Reed instrument 106. Chez les yovos 107. “Who’s the doctor they told you to go see?” 109. License to _____ 110. Soap 112. Half of candy (Fr.) 114. Plusieurs boys (and maybe a femme) 116. Length of Peace Corps service 118. Newbie 120. ______ Roger’s Neighborhood
ACROSS 1. Universal road sign 4. This actually proves that you were in your village 11. You 13. Leg 17. Try again 19. Useless PC acronym 20. Can be done during larium dreams 23. They think their sector is the best 26. E.E.’s post 28. The third eye 30. _______ Samba 32. The _____ of Pooh 33. Goudron 34. The only answer to “C’est quelle viande?” 36. Peace Corps rite of passage 39. Fan _____ 40. The other blanc meat 43. Crappy Hanson song 44. Reptilian insurance salesman 46. The Lambada in Benin 49. Place that prevents ETing 50. PSL 17/18 Med Unit favorite 52. White=Bad, Red=Good 54. The virus that causes AIDS 55. “The trash _____ has spoken.” 56. Benin’s friendly neighbor to the west 57. Where to go to get WASTEd 61. What your parents don’t want you to do
with your local zemidjan driver 63. new Areeba 64. Home of Anderson Cooper 65. _____-you 66. Femelle nightwatchman 69. 54-across en français 70. Il transmet la rage 73. African bedpan 74. Classic gaming system 76. Bro’ of PC POTUS 78. Ecobank necessity 79. Superfly 80. Soothes the burn 83. To’ up from da flo’ up 84. Home of strawberry fanmilk, nachos, and sushi 87. Backstreet bad boy 88, Rhymes with pita 89. Soyez dans le ______ 90. La latrine de Dieu, aka Shitter’s Ridge 91. Uptight 92. What 94-across will say if you ask to go to 56-down 94. ______ Martin 96. New Jersey city across the river from Philly 97. Elton John’s Tantrums and _________ 99. Neither 100. Gangsta _____ 103. Coming ______ 104. _______keeper 108. Poo preserver
111. Don’t forget 113. Liquid pulled from a French teat 115. Canard, Canard, ______ 117. Important component of Happy Hour 119. Every female PCV’s fave question (abbr.) 121. Cheap Nigerian substitute of 2-down 122. Computer key 123. OA 124. Neither “neither” nor “nor” 125. Down under (abbr.) 126. “It opened up my eyes” 127. Pre-omelet 128. ____ Patrick’s Day DOWN 1. Where the pots are made 2. Original version of 121-across 3. Sauf ça, nous sommes le même 4. Language spoken in Senegal 5. Measured by a tachometer 6. Tom’s favorite kind of dance 7. HQ of The Man 8. You never thought this could be so comfortable during chaleur 9. After SBEE, home of most miserable employees in Benin 10. If you were in US, where to go when urgently sick 11. Post Script
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
Ly Nguyen: Launches a career as a voice as Slexia in the adult oriented animated series power strangers, becoming famous for her magniﬁcent fake orgasm. Took her goat ﬁance back to the states, but is still in love with Lyle. Stephanie DeLude: The newest sensation since the Folger’s ad-campaign: the Acapella jingle “Fluﬀ all over my Face” Katie McCollom: Rocked Simon Cowell’s socks oﬀ with her rendition of “The Fresh Prince of Bel Air” becoming the second Oklahoman to win the show’s contest. David Kerry Burns: MIA Shayne Doyle: became Peace Corps’s most successful recruiter in history. Many attribute the greatness to her showcasing of her HOTT HCN hubby, Pablo. Margaret Graham: Finished in the top of her class at Harvard Law. She’s using the degree to start basketball camps all over the developing world. Courtney Haley: and her mom have yet to return from an Around the World Pub Crawl. Brandy Russell/Erika Kraus: Opened a new vaudville act in which they perform 20 acrobatic tricks in sync. Their next performance will be at the Hotel Cicero. Emily Howe: Really peeved and able to support herself from a trust fund. She spends her days lobbying against Project Bokinon. Restraining orders? yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Erin Sillin: banded with Madonna and Angelina to set up the International Adoption Agency. Stephanie Van Hook: mother of two. Married for money and “OK” sex. She reports life in Malibu is ‘splendid.’ Tara Meyer: Finally r*-ed everyone in this room, and she didn’t even care. Robyn Carter: got a mysterious rash. Slimy, green and smells like tuna. Charles Reeves: Still owes Paul money. The loan ﬁnanced the ﬁnding of his ﬁancee in Jonquet thus Paul is writing it oﬀ as a wedding gift. Paul Kuhn: Is still going through airport security because he chose to wear the turban home. Curtis Robert: Formerly, Roberts. Legally changed his name after realizing the process of changing his name would be easier than correcting it with the business card printers. Jacy Gaige: arrested after attempting to smuggle a baby hippo on her Air France ﬂight home. Caught only after trying to put it in the overhead bins. Natalie Newman: currently putting the ﬁnishing touches on her opus ‘Dantokpa’, a huge mural inspired by Picasso’s ‘Guernica.’ Brook Adam: Is still on the lam, having ﬂed Benin with an outstanding debt of more than 1.000.000.000 CFA owed to VIP Pressing of Savalou for drycleaning. Still looks sharp though.
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
“Il faut manger tout” - Susan Lettis on oral sex “I’! make out with anyone who walks me home” - Rose Hedge “Those big beers don’t look so big any more” - Natalie Newman “What life are we living?!” - Stacey “I shit in a pan, and the next day I made a pineapple upside down cake in it!” - Shayne “You make people cry” - Sarah P. to Tara “I’m not stupid, I just don’t know things” - Ly
“You’re gonna get up like that? (That’s “It sme!s like my dead grandma in what she said)” here, before she died” - Lyle (and Sara M) - Delude re: Songhai “Can you give us a gender breakdown for the new PSL?” -Michelle Edwards (shortly before she ETed, coincidence?) “Can ‘ha’ be plural? If you have one ‘ha’ can you have many, like with an ‘s’?” “Why don’t you just play ‘has’?” - Suzy Lee and Katie playing Scrabble “The height of my english goodness is not right now” - Sara M to Ben’Dali “When I see white people I want to have sex with them” - Erin C. “I could waste away the hours consuming a! the ﬂowers...” - Delude singing if “I only had a brain” “Whoa! Those goats are hung!” “... those are udders” -Amanda D. and Katie M. Kristen: “They rea!y can’t te! if we’re men or women: everyone at work ca!s me ‘il’” Lyle:
“At least they know you’re a person, they ca! me ‘line’” Katie: “That’s because you have no point.” Lyle: “Yeah... we! if I had one and continued on in one direction forever, would they ca! me ‘Ray’?”
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
PSL-18: Meﬂoquine Edition
Most Likely to get Bitten by a Monkey: Amanda Dorion Most Likely to End up Near Libya on a Medical Related Issues: Lisa Z. Most Likely to not be Mentioned in this Issue: Good old what’s-her-name Most Likely to Confused for Erica: Brandy Most Likely to Confused for Brandy: Erica Most Likely to Fry and Eat Things Growing Near her Latrine: Katie McCollom Most Varied Attire: Sara Miner (Green Tank, UNC Shirt, Black Skirt) Most Likely to have her name mispronounced: Ly Ngyuen Most Likely to bust out in song: Stephanie DeLude Most Likely to sling shot baby jellyﬁsh at children: Harvey Crow Most Likely to confuse people when talking: Emily Howe Most Likely to Confuse Himself when Talking: Charles Reeves Most Talented: Garret Hyzer (not referring to giardia interpretive dance: ask Sillin) Most Likely to Get Stuck in Revolving Door: Natalie Newman Most Likely to Get Robbed in Lagos: Meredith M. PSL-19ers most likely to be oﬀended they weren’t mentioned in this deadbeat: Three’s-A-Crowd Mike, Petit Jennito, Tall James, and Pretty Spitz. Most Likely to Use this Issue as Toilet Paper: Kathy Haines
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
DO YOU SPEAK A LOCAL LANGUAGE?
Are you tired of those “other” volunteers that don’t? Do you love the look on the face of that zemi driver when you tell him exactly where to stick his price? Do want to take that 2nd goal just a little bit further? Join the elite, the few, the L.O.S.E.R.S. LOcal Speak Erases Racial Stereotypes
Obligatory PSL-19 Photo
A PSL-18 Production
Any correlation to the reality of events is entirely coincidence. The editors of this, Peace Corps’ oldest (and dumbest) publication, accept no responsibility for mickey, taken out, lost, stolen or otherwise. Consumption of this publication may result in dry mouth, loose bowels, being squished into a taxi with goats strapped to the roof that will continually howl, setting oﬀ the once sleeping infant who will then startle said goats causing them to machine gun pellet poop all over you and your stuﬀ which in turn will spark a 45 minute discussion in local language where the only word you’ll understand is ‘yovo’, run on sentences, or death. At no point, however, will you want to sing that accursed “Numa-Numa” song. Thank God.
B Giardia Worms
I Zemi Burn Food Poisoning Cholera TB Meningitis
N Leprosy Bird Flu
G Ringwor m Malaria
O Shisto Monkey Bite UTI Sinus Infection Salami Ass (ask Nick)
Boils Sleeping Sickness Heat Rash
FREE SPACE Sunburn Creeping Eruption
Scorpion Sting Amoebas Bed Bugs
The Oﬃcial Peace Corps Medical BINGO®
EDITION PSL VOLUME 18
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue reading from where you left off, or restart the preview.