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This book was automatically created by FLAG on January 16th, 2012, based on content retrieved from http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4865246/. The content in this book is copyrighted by Emmy1512 or their authorised agent(s). All rights are reserved except where explicitly stated otherwise. This story was first published on February 15th, 2009, and was last updated on October 23rd, 2011. Any and all feedback is greatly appreciated - please email any bugs, problems, feature requests etc. to flag@erayd.net.

Table of Contents
Summary 1. Introduction Knowing 2. Where to from here? 3. Telling and Hospitals 4. Shocks and Surprises 5. Question and Answers 6. Principals and Edwards 7. Jess, Lauren and Hospital 8. Rosalie's vengance 9. Don't Insult the Hair 10. Anxiety 11. It's a 12. Lullaby for a Stormy Night 13. Monopoly 14. Conversations 15. Wow Uhuh 16. Birthday Surprises 17. Breathless 18. Halloween and Toes 19. Sour Lolly Worms and Chicken Stock 20. Worried 21. Hot Chocolate and Coffee 22. Glue Stick? 23. Sleep 24. Photo Albums 25. Ready to Talk 26. Nightminds 27. Not So Merry Christmas 28. Smile
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29. I Swear To You 30. Lost 31. Embarrassing 32. Fever 33. Take A Seat 34. Talking Can Do A World Of Good 35. Belief in Promises 36. Is The Truth Better? 37. Witty Repartee 38. Come a Long Way 39. Words and Deeds 40. Important AN 41. Just The Way You Are 42. Hen's and Buck's Preperation 43. Author's Note Sorry 44. Welcome to Paradise 45. When You're Gone 46. Epilogue 47. Author's Note

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Follow her and Edward through the decisions. All characters belong to S Meyer.Summary Bella falls pregnant just before her Senior year of high school. AH/AU -5- . good and bad.

.. "Bella. holding the ominous little stick in my hand. It was now summer holidays. I was scared we wouldn't make it through." "Ok... I would just like to dedicate this opening chapter to meilzdoggg01.I love you. I glanced at my watch for the third time. so. I hope you enjoy it. when I slipped into the water down at La Push" -6- . what's up beautiful?" "Um.." Worry struck across his face in an instant." "Calm Edward. How could only a minute and a half have passed? I sighed to myself as I thought back to the past couple of hours. and took my face between his hands. Flashback "Edward.Ok.. we'd only been dating for a few months... "Bella.. Everyone should read her stories :-) I sat on the toilet lid. and we were heading into our senior year." Edward walked to me... we need to talk. my personal idea-bouncing-wall.. last week.. and we were about to start our freshman year. oh god this is hard. I'm not leaving you. what is it?" "Just promise not to get mad ok?" "Bella.. so here is the intro to "Leave out all the Rest" Read and review.. I could hear Edward pacing in the bedroom just outside the door.Introduction Knowing AN. when have I ever been mad at you?" "Uh. The only other time I had said that to him was 3 years ago when I had told him I was being sent to Switzerland for 3 months..

" "I'm late. "My period Edward.... what now?" I tried to think of what we were meant to be doing now..trying to figure out why you've left it so long to tell me. a month.." "How late?" "Um.." "Late for what?" He looked like he knew but he was begging me to give him a different answer. I'm late for my period...." -7- .. I should've caught you!" "Edward. I don't remember having one a month ago.. so.kind of didn't realise I didn't have my period last month.. go on then... Anything.." "Well... one week..." "Ok.."I wasn't mad at you! I was mad at myself! I should've been more careful.... so." "How can you not notice something like that? It's kind of big. Tell him I had to be somewhere 5 minutes ago..... we're off topic... I was busy with exams." "I.... and 5 days?" "A MONTH! Bella. but nothing came to mind." "Ok.. how could you not tell me earlier?" "You promised you wouldn't be mad!" Edward sighed and turned away. "I'm not mad Bella.. and I didn't even think about it.. I'm just.. "I don't know.

and looked down at the stick. 27. and warm fingers pressing lightly on my throat. but the worst part is waiting for the 5 minutes to pass before I could know the result." "Ok. Open your eyes Bella. "Oh fuck."Ok. 30 more seconds until I could look. 28. I closed my eyes.. I could hear my breathing but nothing else.." -8- . I felt my world start to sway. I wanted to wait for you. I exhaled. well. I couldn't do it alone. 29. I could just leave it and get Edward to look at it. It took me a moment to register the cold tiles underneath my back. and everything started to go fuzzy.. "Edward?" I choked out." End Flashback I thought that telling him would be the hardest part of all of this. You haven't done one already have you?" "No. "Bella! Bella wake up!" I groaned as my eyes fluttered open." I managed to whisper as I saw the small smiley face looking up at me... don't do that again. "Oh god Bella. I'll go to the drug store and I'll be back in 15 minutes. Just look at it. 21. I fought with myself. 20.. 19. I glanced at my watch again. Well first of all we should probably get a test. counting the seconds. But that would be even worse. and started breathing. Even the seconds were dragging.. 30..

-9- .. and remember."Edward.. because I will be here no matter what. Although I do have my preference." "I know Bella.. it's your choice. REVIEW. I hope you liked it. I know..." AN. I know it's short." "What do we. this was just an intro. what happens now?" "Now you decide what you want to do. Peace out..Ok. the next chapter will me MUCH longer. BUT.

I just wanted to send out a massive THANK YOU to people who reviewed last chapter.Where to from here? AN – Here is the second chapter. and I always try to reply to them. but I still didn't know what I wanted to do. no matter what I decided. Slowly. but only because he worried that I had slipped and hit my head. It was how I always ended my showers. I have my life planned out. This chapter is dedicated to you babes! Everyone. inhaling the steam. rubbing the spot I had hit. it really didn't hurt that much. and turned the faucets so that the water turned slowly from hot to cold. I sat on the shower floor.. "Fuck" I muttered. it sunk in. I tried telling myself over and over again. trying to let everything sink in. Whispering "I'm pregnant" again and again. After I had recovered from the shock. letting the water hit my back. go read her stuff! She is pure awesome. But now. It makes me so happy to read reviews. He used to occasionally. now everything would change. I wasn't expecting reviews that quickly. because I will be here no matter what. Previously: "Now you decide what you want to do. just a shout out to meilzdoggg01. Although I do have my preference." Continued: Bella's POV I stood under the stream of the shower. I turned. managing to hit my head on the soap dish screwed to the wall.10 - . I stood up again. This had been my place and time to think for about a year and a half now. Again. but within minutes of posting people were reviewing. and then I shut of the cold water too. it's your choice. everything was going to be exactly how I pictured it. and would never interrupt. who let me constantly bug her with how many words I had so far.. . the quick burst of cold water brought me back to the present moment. and Edward had always respected that.

I followed Edward's gaze at it swept over my body. I want to keep this child. He wants this? "Yes. He pulled me into the tight protective hug that he had protected from the first day that we met. for some reason. one leg tucked beneath him. I walked slowly into my room to see Edward sitting on my bed. not drying my hair completely. graceful as always. He stroked my hair softly. When he said it. he IS. Edward Cullen." I heard the sincerity in his hope. I still can't believe that this greek god impersonation wanted to be with me. and a tight tank top. It dawned on me then what he had meant when he said he had his preferences. "No. but evident. had been my boyfriend since my days of awkward braces." . "It's absolutely amazing. I doubt that I could ever believe it. is it ugly? It probably is. I examined my body in the full length mirror and touched the small bump on my stomach cringing. in his voice. not entirely wanting to hear the answer. I heard love. changes that were happening. Now as I listened to him talk like this. although I'm still not sure what that had been. It was amazing how quickly it was all happening. but he also conveyed something that I'm not sure he had meant to. most sort after man at school.I stepped out of the shower and slowly dabbed my body dried and squeezed the excess water from my hair. the other daggling over the side. I pulled out my hair dryer. and switched it on. 2 months pregnant. I realised he wanted to me to keep it. "Is it that bad?" I asked. Oh god.11 - . just enough that it didn't soak through my clothes. and you could already see the evidence. the sexiest. and hope. He had seen something that other boys hadn't. I slipped into my sweat pants. but today. I was nervous about how he would react when he noticed the small. and beautiful. Bella. I had never worried about looking fantastic in front of Edward. I stood there for a few minutes. But he was. and fixed on my stomach. Bella." Edward stood up and walked toward me. My hand automatically flew to my stomach. I thought he meant he wanted me to have an abortion. and then did a double take.

I wasn't losing my life. this is the best thing that could have happened. and gave me a small . it sounded like a hair dryer. I was smiling up at Edward. She was carrying my child. but now. and I leant into his hand." I know there was a point in my life that I would've thought it mattered. but failing. I heard the water switch off. and sat up on her bed. knowing his last days were coming. There is no way in the world I could give up my baby. and I realised in that moment that I wanted this too. I would understand if she didn't. and he loved me. I could feel the tears staining my cheeks but it didn't bother me.12 - . I always will. Edward's breath faltered for a moment. My grandfather's words echoed through my mind "Everything happens for a reason Isabella". I could hear her doing something in the bathroom. and I didn't know if she wanted to keep it or not. "Does that mean you want to keep it too?" He touched the side of my face. "I want to have your child Edward. All that matters now is that I'm carrying Edward's child... It didn't matter to me. so this is only our plans accelerated.. He had said that to me whilst lying in a hospital bed. "I love you so much Bella" "I love you too Edward. the timing didn't matter." I said. but to me. The plans Edward and I had made could still happen. We were going to start a family after college.My heart leapt. and it would be the scariest thing that I've ever had to go through. before he grinned down at me. be with for the rest of my life. After a few minutes. they didn't have to happen in the order we had set them out though. Whether that was in 3 years time or now. and he accepted that." I was so happy that I started to cry. trying to not to grin. But I know that Bella is the person I want to. I had the honour of bringing one into this world.. she walked out into her bedroom again. It would be hard. "We'd better figure out how we're going to tell our parents that we're having a baby then.. and will. Edward's POV Sitting here waiting for Bella to finish showering was making me anxious..

" "I love you so much Bella" I felt as though my heart was flying. She looked absolutely gorgeous. a tiny child." "You want to keep it don't you?" She looked up at me. She looked like she was ready for bed. pulling her softly against my chest." I whispered into her ear. was a distinct change from her normally perfectly flat stomach. I would've seen this coming. Whether that was in 3 years time or now. was giving me a child. while only tiny. . "We'd better figure out how we're going to tell our parents that we're having a baby then. you could see the slightest bulge of her abdomen. even though it was only 4pm. It didn't matter to me. An image ran across my mind for a fleeting second. "It's absolutely amazing. I couldn't imagine a happier feeling. Through the tight fabric of her top.13 - . the reason for my continued existence. I could gaze into them forever. stroking her hair with my fingers. "I want to have your child Edward. Bella. had I been more observant. How could she possibly think it looked bad? "No. this is what I wanted. I want to keep this child.. Bella's hand went to her stomach.. which. I was going to be a father. Yes. with Bella's brown eyes looking back up at her. Her eyes were a beautiful brown.. and beautiful. "Does that mean you want to keep it too?" I touched the side of her face. being held by Bella. "Is it that bad?" That caught me off-guard slightly. Bella. Bella.." I stood up and walked over to her. in a pair of sweat pant and a tank top. I grinned down at her. and I looked up at her face to realise she'd caught me staring. the love of my life. That was when I realised.smile." I caught a hint of a smile in her voice. hoping to god that she would want the same. "Yes.

Bella explained to me later that night.. No slipping and falling. Promise me you won't get up? When I come back we can talk about how to tell our parents." It was my turn to grimace slightly. gazing into her eyes until I could see that she knew I was only saying that in jest and that I knew she would never do something that stupid again. I jumped in the water after her.. and Bella had gone cliff-diving out at La Push." Tears were running down her cheeks."I love you too Edward. that she was happy.14 - . I had gone to talk to her. once she was discharged from hospital.. you know that right? I'm only 2 months pregnant.I can't live through that. was still ingrained on my mind. because I will be looking after you. you didn't answer me. I always will. but I could tell by the smile on her lips. "I would never do that again. You don't have to look after me though.. In fact Esme.seeing you in pain. Do you need anything?" "I'm fine Edward. and there's nothing you can do about it. my mother. I'll be right back." "Well too bad. I lifted her into my arms. I'm going to go make you a cup of peppermint tea. and dragged her to the surface.. and the sparkle in her eyes. Carlisle would take it as his . "So. It wasn't that they would be angry. and I knew that she used to stand at the top of that cliff to think. "So. I would never forget the terror that I felt when I saw her jumping off.." I looked down at her. Definitely no cliff-diving" The memory of 2 years ago. that she was cliff-diving. I thought she was committing suicide. not taking her own life. She merely hadn't anticipated how strong the current was. when we had had our first fight. can I get you anything? You're going to have to look after yourself now. and carried her to the bed. would be over the moon. She looked up at me and grimaced. The pain it caused you. I'm not an invalid. When I saw her run to the edge.

disappointing her parents was far worse than any angry she could ever bring out in them. No. fast updating authors :-) . only disappointed. and please remember. they wouldn't be angry. reviews make for happy.OK. it was more Bella's reaction to having to tell her parents. there it is. AN. But to Bella. Again.responsibility to take care of the antenatal aspect of it.15 - . I hope you liked the second chapter.

With parents like these. let's get this over with" We walked out of his room. I placed my hand on my slightly swollen belly. and placed his hands over mine. He always knew how to calm me and make me feel better. BECAUSE I LOVE THEM! Edward and I spent the next few days organising telling his parents. and handsome father. and stood on my tip toes to kiss him tenderly. because that was bound to be the easier of the two. I had never felt less ready to do this. thank you to all who reviewed. I went to walk out the door before he took my hand.16 - . we'd do that first.Telling and Hospitals AN. As we stood in his bedroom about to head down to the lounge room to talk to Esme and Carlisle. and whispered "it will be fine. In the large lounge room sat Edward's beautiful mother. I gave a weak smile. check out . and keep up your awesome reviews.. I promise"." I looked up at his face to see him smiling genuinely. I grinned. tracing my fingers over it.. He kissed my hair.HEY ALL! OOOOH CAPSLOCK! Ok. "I love you too Edward" I took a dramatic breath before adding "come on.. Carlisle was reading the . CHECK OUT MEILZDOGGG01 OR I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND HURT YOU – ok. swinging me around as gracefully as I could be. "Just one more thing Bella. it was only fitting that he and his 2 brothers were the hottest and most sought after men at school. apprehension about facing his parents barely registering in his eyes "I love you". Esme and Carlisle smiled warmly at us when we entered. and down the flight of stairs to the 2nd floor of his 3 story mansion. and Edward wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I just wanted to say.so maybe not hurt you. but I'll send some awesome angry vibes your way :P Anyhow.'s fic "Sewing the Wounds" great fic – love it And. so. When the day rolled around all too soon however. even though I knew he couldn't see it from where he was standing..

Esme smiled at this." Carlisle was started to narrow his eyes in apprehension and suspicion. "Ok. she like the rare displays of affection between us. Silence. "Well.." . we were wondering if we could talk to you.. and. "Well. Bella and I have something we need to tell you..well it's not big. and Esme was drawing up some designs for the interior decoration company that she works for. Er. Carlisle placed his journal on the desk next to the couch and motioned for us to have a seat on the couch opposite them while Esme placed her pencil and sketch pad on the floor next to the couch... because he very rarely hesitated or used words like "er" and "um". We sat there staring at each other for a few minutes while Carlisle and Esme tried to process the information they'd just been given." he glanced at my stomach. and Bella is a month and a bit late...latest copy of a medical journal in which he was published..17 - .." "Go on. It was Carlisle who finally broke the uncomfortable silence.Bella's pregnant. Dad. He was usually a very confident speaker.. but it's definitely there. a smile forming on his face "she's got a distinct bump on her stomach that. but the home test was positive." I could hear Edward start to get nervous as he said this.. "Hi Edward sweetheart" "Hi mom. and very articulate.." That was blunt.. wherever Esme looked like she was running through the possibilities of what we were about to say in her head.are you sure?" "We haven't been to the doctor yet. "What can we help you with?" Edward looked at me and took my hand..

and things she had from when the boys were born. murmuring off toward the end of the sentence. Carlisle looked at her for a few moments. and then smiled.. Esme had been talking excitedly about baby things. and it was obvious to anyone observing this event that Esme was over the moon at the news. have you told your parents yet? I know Renee will be a bit difficult to tell because she's in Arizona. while Esme and Carlisle sat in the front. we'll go down to the hospital. but what about Charlie? Does he know?" I hesitated... who was now looking not angry or upset..18 - . and smiled broadly. What do you think?" She looked up at both of us. Edward smiled at me again. a habit that Edward had picked up from him. "Well in that case." . "Bella. In the excitement of Esme being happy about this. have you given any thought as to wait you want to do?" "We want to keep it. I looked down at my hands. and looked back at Edward and me. I had actually forgotten that I still had to tell my father. Carlisle turned to Esme... and pinched the bridge of his nose. dear. which were now balled in my lap. Assuming that's positive.I haven't yet. Carlisle and Esme were a team on everything. when she stopped suddenly. ~o~o~o~o~ Edward and I sat in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes. "I'll do the blood test today. "No. She had always loved children. "I think it's fantastic!" Just as we expected..Carlisle took a deep breath. "Esme. and had always told Edward and his brothers that they'd better give her grandchildren. and I grinned. we should get you two down to the hospital for those tests" Edward smiled at me.." I said. but worried. and took her hand. and then looked at Carlisle.

Someone would've had trouble judging whether Esme or I was radiating more happiness at that moment. Edward looked over toward me. After wrapping up at the hospital. and he would be our primary physician. We're going to have this. knowing I had. "Yes. "It's just that." "What are you worried about?" "Well. He started Bella on a daily dose of Folic Acid. "Have I ever told you how amazingly beautiful and perfect you have?" I said. and gave Bella and me a diary to document the experience of the pregnancy in. we'd have to consult the OB-GYN. I'm not going to let anyone take this baby away from us. however if it came to any big medical decisions. She was 2 months and 14 days pregnant according to Carlisle."Oh.. .. That said. who they were on very good terms with.. and she would need her first ultrasound in a few weeks. I promise". The first thing I did was take a photo of Bella on my phone while we were at the hospital. yes. just as we had known it would.. I love you.19 - . "We'll tell him Mom. Edward's POV The blood test came back positive. but wanting to reiterate my point. because of conflict of interest..what if he doesn't let you keep it?" "I'm not going to let that happen!" said Edward suddenly and almost angrily. Bella and I walked toward the car while Carlisle and Esme said their goodbyes to the staff. pulling my hands toward him again. Carlisle and Esme were on very good terms with everyone in this town. Carlisle organised the antenatal care. I very rarely heard Edward angry and I flinched slightly. Bella and I will tell him tonight" Edward said.." she looked a bit disappointed and concerned. and it. I pulled Bella close and kissed her deeply when we got the car.that's not what I'm worried about.. and planned to print it and put it on the first page when we got home.. Carlisle calculated Bella's due date to be the 6th of January. don't worry. and apologised.

I love you. You are the love of my life.YAY FOR FLUFF! Ok. and update faster! :D . so much. "You're beautiful. my Bella" AN.20 - . "Thank you Edward and I wouldn't want to have anyone's child but yours."I believe you have once or twice. smiling up at me. REVIEWS! They make me so happy. but feel free to tell me again" she said.. reviews my darlings." I kissed her forehead "Amazing" I kissed the tip of her nose "and I wouldn't want anyone else to be the mother of my child" with this I placed a soft.." "And I love you. sweet kiss on her lips.

sitting uncomfortably around the dinner table at my dad's house. I had made roast chicken. And here it is. So here we were. there's something we have to tell you. but I wasn't particularly hungry.Dad. and will only try to persuade him within reason. what's this about Bells?" Charlie broke the silence. who gave me my 50th review on this story.. I was trying not to shake or stutter whenever I talked...21 - . but it was difficult knowing what I was about to tell Charlie. but have said they will not do the job for us.. "Ok. then they will not try to change his mind.. It was cos we couldn't get in *angry faces*– PLEASE REVIEW! Please go see meilzdoggg01's work – she rocks my very awesomely mismatched socks. Bella's POV Carlisle and Esme had kindly agreed to sit in when Edward and I tell my father about the baby. Not to mention the nerves that were making their attack on my whole body. "Um. .Shocks and Surprises AN – Here is chapter 4. and for that I am so sorry. If he has legitimate reasons for not wanting us to keep the child. I just wanted to say I'm so fricking sorry it took so long." Carlisle gave a small cough at this. but they will continue to support us no matter what. so now we're all here uncomfortably. This chapter is dedicated to hgbkwrm. and the smell of the stuffing and dad's beer was making me want to show everyone the last thing I ate.ok. in just 3 chapters! Do you think that maybe we can make it to 75 this chapter? I know I have enough people on alerts! :) This story is for my Charlotte Maree.. I really am. It is the ending that we never got.

. "What?" "I'm pregnant... desperately trying to get a smile out of him." "I'm pregnant.. looking like he was desperately trying not to grimace "I meant. and Carlisle had moved around behind Charlie to pull him away." I whispered. lunging across the table "You did this! I'll kill you!" Edward struggled for a moment.."Sorry.. when. Who knew the make-up of chicken could be so interesting? "I heard you the first time! How did this happen?" "Well. and not ready for Charlies next movement." Charlies mouth gapped wide enough that you could fit a baseball in it easily. who was staring intently at me. the untouched food on my plate now suffering examination with my fingers.. That was until he looked up at Edward. before prying Charlie's hand off of him.. . "If the wind changes Charlie.." I said "How long have you known?" "A few days.if you really want the details.. with room to move." Charlie looked up at my from his food an expectant look on his face "well... spit it out then.." I said a little louder. while Esme had run toward me to make sure I didn't get in the way of any of it.....how long for?" "Um. "No! I don't want the details!" he said. Charlie's reaction was calmer than expected. I'm 2 months and 2 weeks.. "YOU!" Charlie screamed." I said.22 - .. something Edward and I have to tell you.." So far.

. taking a visibly deep breath.. Edward never got angry at my Dad. I know Edward wants to tell his brothers..I'm so sorry. I'm going to go sit outside for a moment.. Now he looked like he was ready to knock my father out cold any second. so they could have lengthy discussions of what the furniture would be . "God Bella. looking over and smiling at Edward. and still Edward had remained calm. "You are not a part of this! I don't want to hear anything coming from your mouth!" "I AM THE FATHER! I am as big a part of this as Bella! I will NOT stand here and let you demonise myself OR Bella."Charlie. I also knew that see wanted Alice to be in on everything.. if you wanted to.. you go outside with him for a moment please as well. but we've all agreed that it would be a good idea for you to stay with us tonight." "Bella. My dad had grounded me for 2 months before.." Edward started before Charlie cut him off. Edward turned slowly toward me. it was just clear to both of us that the other didn't want to say anything yet... It wasn't an uncomfortable silence. ever.please.. not letting Edward see me..... "Bella. "Edward." he leaned into whisper in my ear "I love you. We heard the door open. you could tell them tonight to." She said.. Esme and I have decided to support Edward and Bella in their decision. taking a step toward Charlie. This was an accident. Esme walked out to talk to us. he's ready to speak to you and Edward. Jasper and Emmett are having Alice and Rosalie over. so if you want to.alone. He's calmed down now." not knowing what to say. I think you and I need to talk calmly about this." x-x Edward and I were sitting outside on my front porch in silence for about an hour.." "You've already decided what you're going to do?" Charlie looked like he was about to turn a nice shade of purple "You decided and you haven't talked to me yet!" "We were going to Charlie. Esme and I would like to talk to Charlie now. it'll be ok. but an amazing blessing!" Edward yelled.....23 - .

It's going to be fine. we were wondering if we could use your christening gown. or I fight for the next 7 months. There is no question about whether or not you can you it if your child is a girl. what can I help you with?" "Well. Edward and I had a question actually. if that was even possible... changing. knowing that the grandmother of my child would love it almost more than I would. because I'd have no idea. and surrender now. After a few hours of discussions. The reason for this being that I was likely to need help with feeding. not Esme's. get in there and talk to him.. It was easier to surrender now. and how to decorate the nursery." "Of course dear. I take the easy route. These were my words. At this Edward said that Esme had already expressed a desire to have the child living in the Cullen's house for the first few months. but he didn't want to live with a baby in the house. and resign myself to the fact this child would grow up with family doting on it with all the most expensive recent clothing and pointless objects... after which. I was fairly sure it was going to be impossible to get out of this. if nothing else. We don't expect you to answer right away.." x-x The talk with Charlie ended up not being as excruciatingly painful as I had preferred myself for. and my heart soared.like. I would be honoured if you used my christening gown. and I would have to surrender and let them do it. The only choice was when. Knowing the two of them.24 - .. Charlie had told us that he would support us through having this child. "Esme.. Carlisle and Esme had obviously talked him into discussing it calmly. Edward and I would move into our own place. and generally caring after the child. and said that I could move in when I wanted adding an ." "Bella. it made more sense for us to stay under the same roof as them until we were ready to do it on our own. but Esme had said that because I would be wanting help. and end up with the expensive designer nursery. so was I. I promise. "Ok you two. I would love to have my first granddaughter christened in it. if it's a girl. The answer was always going to be yes" Esme was beaming. seeing as we know how much it means to you. My mother was christened in it... Charlie had agreed to this.

where Edward had just taken my small box of trinkets and keepsakes.. It was a battle lost before it started. not wanting to be a part of this. Emmett appeared behind her. how much more trouble can you get up to right?" Edward smirked at this. We had decided I would move in before school went back in two weeks. and I tried to stop my mind from wandering where his undoubtedly was... Not that it was particularly safe for you before anyway" "But why?. and I could see Jasper lingering about 5 feet behind them.can I tell Renee?" Charlie added with a slight smile. So I decided start getting my stuff over to Edward's tonight. you can't lift things that heavy anymore..25 - .. Rosalie behind him. I turned angled my body to see Edward better and shot him my best death glare before Charlie walked back into the room.. "Oh.and Bella. ." "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Alice screamed from the doorway.. but thankfully we were saved by the phone ringing.. "I'm getting my suitcase. I'm pregnant. not dying." "NO YOU'RE NOT!" Esme squealed as Edward said quieter "Bella..... saving myself the hassle of doing a big move of all my stuff. He told us he had to go into the station for a while.almost joke by saying "I mean. after packing a suitcase of the majority of my clothing. A few smaller moves seemed more practical.. I went to lift my suitcase out of the car when Edward and Esme screamed at me from the Balcony.. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?" I looked at them like they'd gone insane. and that he'd talk to us about it more tomorrow. that must weigh at least forty five pounds.. x-x We got to the Cullen's just before midnight." I was starting to think he might be looking forward to being a grandfather. "Sure.

Fuck.26 - .let's get me to 75! :) Love xx .what do you think? Please please please REVIEW . this is so not how I wanted to tell them. AN.

Edward and Esme had disappeared from the balcony. A big fat BLERGH and WHAT? I know it won't be my best. You just made my freaking day! Thank you to insatiable06 for beta-ing this for me :) you rock Becka So here is chapter 5. Fuck." Alice started to protest. ask in the review. and I'll explain through a PM. and they looked almost angry that I hadn't told them yet. "But. and Edward and Esme obviously knew. I GOT THE 75TH REVIEW! A massive freaking thank you to Nessa19. . Previously: "YOU'RE PREGNANT!" Alice screamed from the doorway.27 - . OMG! JUST AS I WAS ABOUT TO SAY FRICK IT AND UPDATE ANYHOW. this is so not how I wanted to tell them. seeing that I had frozen on the spot. Bella's POV I wanted to shrink into nothingness under the stares of my best friends. is. inside now. but I'm not going to write it on the actually story.BLERGH! 74! Blergh. Blergh effing blergh That is what I felt writing this.Question and Answers AN." I heard Esme say sternly from just inside the doorway. I just hadn't thought out how I was going to tell them yet. "All of you. and I could see Jasper lingering about 5 feet behind them. Emmett appeared behind her. He put his arm around me pulling me into him. or I wouldn't have said it so casually to them.. I had a few PM's asking me who Charlotte Maree. not wanting to be a part of this. It's not that I was ashamed. but that doesn't really matter. who this story is dedicated to. if you want to know too. Rosalie behind him. and Edward had just appeared at my side..

and got changed into a pair of sweatpants and a loose fitting shirt. Not bad. I'd always felt welcome here. Now this was home. just uncomfortable. all of you get inside. and changing which drawers I put them in. Edward was still watching me intently. Alice looked longingly at the screen.uncomfortable. and I couldn't decide how I felt.I could have a shower. reluctantly gone back inside. Except.. flashing a small smile at me "but in the mean time. whilst making sure I didn't fall. I took my time unpacking my clothes. everyone stopped what they were doing and turned to look expectantly at Edward and me when we walked into the room. again. as the moon was covered by clouds.. Edward and I finally made out way to the lounge room to find Alice and Jasper sitting together watching Emmett and Rosalie play Grand Theft Auto. come inside. and for the first time ever. before you get sick" I heard Edward say quietly after everyone had slowly. Walking inside. The idea was both endearing and annoying at the same time. and it was clear that Emmett had thrown her off after she beat him and Rosalie.. and I realised that I couldn't put it off any longer. Bella will tell you everything in a few minutes. Despite how wrapped up everyone was in the game. After I showered. Esme came and took Edwards place at my side. After probably over an hour of folding and refolding my clothes. but I had always known I'd go home.. and stop staring like you've just seen her pull off a pirouette without breaking her leg. Alice was scarily good at that game. I looked around the house I'd seen most days for the past 3 years. it felt like home. I noticed for the first time the wet drizzle that was the rain. softly placing an arm around my shoulder." she said..."But nothing. silently reassuring me. The only light was coming from the house. trying to delay the inevitable discussion that would be.28 - . and it made Emmett overly jealous of his brother's girlfriend. Edward's POV . Esme and Carlisle loved having me overnight. no doubt waiting to ambush me again the second they got a chance. and the cold. I had a feeling Esme was going to become as protective about my safety over the next seven months as Edward was." "Bella.

you're probably a little confused huh?" I said instead.I was so fucking stupid. I don't know what you want to know. Yet. but Edward and I are keeping it. and had to stop myself from laughing at the 4 people who looked comically frozen." Rosalie said. and she looked like a 10 year old who wanted to ask a question about the Power Rangers. not sure where to start. suddenly glad we had to tell everyone what was going on.29 - . before she said. "Dude. These were our best friends.. everyone staring at Bella and I. Alice was treating this like a classroom. or how you feel about this. you fucking got in!" Emmett yelled before we all heard a sickening smack sound." I said.again. indicating that she had a question. and Rosalie glaring at him as if she was about to hit him. staring at us expectantly. before pinning him down and kissing him like no one else was in the room. any questions?" Bella said all of this decisively and I couldn't help a swell of pride I felt at her taking control of everyone in the room. I cleared my throat. I figured pointing out that I knew they were probably confused would be a better start than waiting for Alice to unleash her wrath on me.. Everyone turned simultaneously to see Emmett clutching his side. I should've known Alice and her incredible timing would've intervened. as you all know now. waiting for us to tell them what the hell was going on. shut the fuck up before you say anything. deciding to go with her particular choice of set up for this question . HOW we were going to tell them. and she snuggled into my side. "Sorry babe." "Next time Em. "So. Alice's hand shot up. "Well. I kissed her hair. those two had a lack of self-control similar to that of primitive animals. It meant we wouldn't have to endure Rosalie and Emmett all but screwing each other in the lounge room. standing in the lounge room.. playfully this time. I'm pregnant. yelling to her not to carry something from the fucking balcony. here we are.. Seriously. Bella and I haven't even talked about what we were going to tell them. and they were likely to be pissed off that we had neglected to tell them.. I looked around the room. Bella was her best friend. I snorted in amusement. even though it's been all of a few days. "Alice. Bella and I sat on the couch.. and I could see my brothers little pixie-like girlfriend beating the shit out of me at any moment.

craving chocolate chip muffins." It was my turn to look at Bella. sitting up before continuing.30 - . I could picture the cribs she had more than likely looked at on the internet while Bella was procrastinating.. I guess that makes sense." . pregnant. "Bella. I wasn't going to settle for any less than that. of course I was going to find out first.. "I mean. leaving Jasper sitting on the couch by himself. "But. "We don't need to go shopping yet! I'm not designing the nursery. "I have one!" Emmett piped up. looking around the room expectantly.. of course. "On that note." Alice jumped out of her seat. looking amused at his girlfriend's rant. Bella!" I looked at her incredulously. "Any other questions?" Bella asked. there will be the furniture that's needed. It's not going to have designer brands! We don't need that." "Ha!" Alice looked at me in excitement. receiving a glare from me. and I could almost hear what she was thinking. calm down!" Bella said. and I knew that she knew she was defeated on this one before the fight even started.. I'm tired.and answer session.. I am the father. Bella huffed. and the baby's things. and another smack in the ribs from Rosalie. and hungry. He knew what was coming most likely.. all that stuff aside! We need to go shopping for maternity clothes! When do I get to design the nursery? Are you moving in here Bella? I saw the suitcase. I normally see these things coming! I had no idea! Otherwise I would've been with you when you took the freaking test. but slightly dreading the question that would come out of her mouth. I'm with Alice on this one. pacing back and forth in the middle of the room. this baby was going to have the very best. "First of all." "Alice... I'm pissed off that I found out after Edward.

then we'd be in bed all day tomorrow. endless process of words that I don't understand. sinful. Can we make it to 100? I WOULD BE FUCKING ECSTATIC! . It was nearly 3am. offensive. but at the end of it. I accompanied her. usually from an artistic work. I would've tried to stop her. wasn't an option.ok. and I knew that if we didn't get to bed soon. getting everything she needed. well. watching at she worked her way around the kitchen. Instead. WOOT. wtf does bowdlerization mean? So I google defined that. AN. I just went and google defined effing. if I hadn't have known that attempting to stop her from baking meant certain death when her hormones weren't raging.Bella said. I got: Expurgation is a form of censorship by way of purging anything noxious. I will be more articulate. setting the timer for 25 minutes. so here's a random fact for y'all. I was like WHAT? I can see this google defining being a very long. sitting on a stool. I know it sucks monkey balls. I would still absolutely love reviews. or erroneous. I glanced at the clock after she had finished making the mix and put it in the oven. It said: A bowdlerization of f**king So then of course I was like. which. standing and making her way to the kitchen. I KNOW! Ok.31 - . unfortunately.

and a pair of very nice jeans that would expand as I did. After our day of torture. I was now 3 months pregnant. but I definitely knew when to draw the line between casual and downright wrong. who just missed out :-( I'd love for you to go read lizzie1234 and meilzdoggg01's stuff! I beta for lizzie1234 :D Thank you to insatiable06 for beta-ing this chapter for me. and all too soon Edward and I found ourselves looking for school supplies. I had already set my eye on a few simple but nice tops. rather than hide it. I found myself with Alice and Edward in a maternity store just outside of Port Angeles. and Alice was dragging me shopping for clothes to accentuate my growing baby bump. So. Therefore. I wasn't fashion obsessed. given the weather here in Forks. and the jeans that I wore before were rapidly becoming too tight for me to wear comfortably. are pure awesome. and I agreed with her. Edward and I shut ourselves in our room to avoid Rosalie and Emmett. 'Designer' sweatpants and fluffy ugg-boots. let alone now that I was pregnant. and their suspicions would be confirmed in a matter of days when it became clear to everyone that I was living with the Cullen's. given that the entire town was already suspicious. trying on various embarrassingly showy pieces of clothing that I would never wear before. Ugg-boots I can almost understand. who had a fight . I was only trying on these particular pieces of clothing to humour Alice.32 - . You my dear. as she'd rightly pointed out. and I refused to walk around school in a pair of sweatpants. There really was no point in hiding it. on with the chapter? Bella's POV The rest of the summer passed to quickly in a blur of packing boxes and doctors appointments.Principals and Edwards Ok – A massive thank you goes out to the(dot)lamb(dot)loves(dot)the(dot)lion who gave me my 100th review! Also to Ani. but the sweatpants and ugg-boots together made them look as though they were wandering around their house about to go to bed. There seemed to be a craze going around that Alice shuddered at. or shopping as it's more commonly referred to as.

" he started.. not exactly sure of how to bring this up.. Edward turned around from the bookshelf where he was searching for his copy of 'Wuthering Heights'. and they were going to come back here later tonight. "Bella." I trailed off. taking one of my hands in his "I promise you I will not let anyone say anything about you and our child unless it's good. and also Mike Newton (of all people) and me.." x-x ." I started hesitantly. but we were never huge on public displays of affection. Bella. Edward and I were fairly sure these rumours were started by Lauren and Jessica in an attempt to break Edward and I up. but knowing very well that he would know what I was wondering..earlier this week.. It isn't often that there's some juicy news for them to talk about. We are completely faithful to each other. looking at me quizzically. we're just going to have to remember that. This town is small. people are going to find out about 'this'. I was extremely glad of this. and we're going to be a family. So yes. I mean. and we love each other.. and I would soon be supporting the biggest public display of affection imaginable. "What's going to happen at school?" I ended up blurting out before I could phrase the question any differently. not wanting to voice it.." I pointed to my stomach "very soon. "Edward. which would never work. scared of walking into a room to a sight they would rather remain ignorant of.. but it was interesting to watch them bicker when it didn't work." Edward grinned as he said this "A family. walking over to me and sitting on the bed next to me. which I had neglected to mention that I borrowed a while ago and is now in the box just by his feet. we had yet to discuss what was going to happen at school. and were still making it up to each other. they're probably going to milk this for all it's worth. "Well.. and people are going to talk. Bella. Even Esme and Carlisle had vacated the house for the day. and I know that we can do this. I believe in you. despite the rumours that are bound to fly.. "What do you mean 'what's going to happen'?" he asked. It was funny to watch him search so I wasn't about to tell him now.33 - . so that left Edward and I alone for a few hours.. I love you. Alice had vacated to Jaspers.. What are we going to tell them? What if. We had never hidden our relationship. this child is mine. But you and I both know that despite what people are bound to say.. What if people don't believe this baby was his? There have been rumours flying around for the past year about Jacob Black and me..

My appetite had increased tenfold in the past month. The one you get whenever you start to think about something that upsets you. He very rarely ate breakfast. and grinned at the tray Edward was holding. now that I was paying attention. I slid back up against the headboard of the bed." I gave him a look that plainly said." I narrowed my eyes at him.34 - . "Give me the food Edward." I said." I heard from the doorway. You wrinkle your nose a little. and my sense of smell was amazing. stop worrying. I'm not going anywhere. Instead of lying down. "You really expect me to lie down when I can smell bacon?" "No. Now that worry was increased because I couldn't bring myself to believe he was actually staying with me and being so amazingly supportive about this whole situation. My eyes shot open and I sat up quickly.. When lunch came . trying not to dispel whatever may be in my stomach still. narrow your eyes. not really. "Bella. and I was used to eating alone.. but still liked to rear its head with a vengeance occasionally. were making my stomach growl at me. He knew that I got defensive whenever he analysed my expressions. He knew well that I got worried if I woke up and he wasn't there. but I can hope that you're not about to exert yourself more than is necessary. I rolled over and groaned. reaching out to find Edward's side of the bed empty. lie back down. and left to have a shower while I ate. It had been 3 months. "How do you know what I'm thinking about?" "You have that look on your face. I'm right here. and he could be so good at wiping his face of all expression at times that I didn't see how it was fair that he could read mine so easily. and started to chew on your lip. earning myself a grin and small chuckle from him. It was his way of reading my mind. I looked over to see Edward standing there with a tray of bacon and eggs. and I woke to rare sun filtering through the thin curtains. He placed the tray of food carefully on the bed. You looked like you were ready to run a marathon with the way you sat up just then" I glared playfully at him. and the morning sickness was only just starting to subside. "Bella.Morning came all too soon. which.

and I knew there was little point in trying to calm him. "Bella. Cullen. I found myself missing the size of Phoenix for the first time since I'd been with Edward. and out walked the balding middle aged man in a suit that he wore to try to intimidate people. Silently telling me 'you can do this'. would you?" The office was plain with a cracked vinyl sofa pressed against one wall. It worked on me. remember to breath." People in this town really don't know anything about discretion. but Edward stood up straight and greeted him with confidence. making it clear he disliked this situation. current condition. However. The encouragement was lost on me though under Lanham's intense gaze." Edward tried to reassure me as the door to the principal's office opened. Walking into the principal's office the gossip queen of the town. thank you for meeting us this morning" "Yes. calm down. and I'd learnt to pack enough for two because he never thought ahead to see that maybe he'd need more food than just an apple." Edward visibly tensed. "Well. but not many people had arrived yet. due to laws on equality.35 - . I can do nothing about it. Ms. and telling us the principal would be out soon. It's going to be fine. Edward and I sat down. two plastic desk chairs were on the opposite side of the desk to a rather large ostentatious black leather chair. my hand remaining in Edwards' as he gave it an encouraging squeeze. I do not agree with you continuing to study here in your.. Everything seemed normal. . "Take a seat would you?" Mr. Lanham motioned toward the two plastic chairs. Edward pulled me closer to his side as the receptionist motioned for us to have a seat. Swan. in a vain attempt to make the students feel more comfortable coming into his office. Come on in to my office. Mr. Swan. rather than the sofa. "Mr. gave me a knowing look that obviously said "you're the pregnant girl.however. x-x We arrived at school half an hour before the bell for homeroom.. I must say Ms. Lanham. he was usually starving. who happened to be the receptionist for the principal.

EVIL.. even the principal of the school.. We both knew that people weren't going to love the idea of this as much as you and I. "Bella. there is no way in hell I am going to let anyone. She is already a semester ahead of everyone with study.." Edward and I walked out of the office and into the quad were people were starting to linger.. if you've read it PLEASE REVIEW IT! . you can do nothing about it. Bella.. because that's right. "I have to go do something. He was telling you he didn't want you studying here because you're pregnant! I was not about to let that go. with the look on their faces that told even the slowest person that they were up to no good.." I smacked him playfully before he went jogging off toward the building. "Edward. of course. Lanham was obviously taken back by Edwards disdain for his words. Mr. If that is all. Cullen.. you really didn't have to do that. that I would absolutely LOVE to get to 150 reviews. plus. but I was also slightly embarrassed at the same time. "So.36 - . so that should be no issue. I heard snickering moving closer to me from behind me." I was glad that Edward had stood up for me. you two should get to classes. I promise." He said. smirking "And don't fall over. I'll be back in 2 minutes. and I wanted to blend into the background for as long as I could before I flew to the front of every person's sight... waiting for the bell that was due to go in about 10 minutes. So evil in fact. do you reckon I can do that? I have more than enough people on alerts. I turned to see Lauren and Jess walking up toward me. I looked around for Edward. "Yes." AN – ahahaha I'm sorry I just had to leave it there." Mr.." He kissed the top of head before saying. there's so much we need to talk about. hoping to god he'd be back soon."You're quite right. say or imply anything negative about you. I'm evil.. I fully expect you to make what accommodations are needed for Bella to continue studying here and finishing her high school diploma before her pregnancy has reached full term.. It was fine. Don't move.

." Continued: Bella's POV "What do you want Lauren? Jess?" I asked. I was just about ready to hurl if Edward didn't come back soon. I normally don't hold grudges. Bella...Jess. Lauren and Hospital AN. trying to keep my voice as calm as possible. and the horrible sight that was Jess and Lauren. Why can parts of my body never agree? My stomach was doing summersaults. you guys made my day with that! Thank you to insatiable06 for beta-ing this for me :) you rock Becka Previously: I heard snickering moving closer to me from behind me... I turned to see Lauren and Jess walking up toward me. while my heart sped to a hundred miles an hour.37 - . "Well Bella. and also Nessa19 – who was duelling for it. I just want to say a MASSIVE thank you everyone who reviewed! I have made it to 158 reviews. THANK YOU KRAZZY KESS – who gave me my 150th review.. so. and they hated me. but from experience. I had the man they wanted. and I want to hug every freaking one of you. I looked around for Edward. while my brain was telling me that running would only make it worse.. I must say." Jessica started. I knew that Lauren would be .. only cruelties to make me despise them even more. combine that with the morning sickness. I hated these two. hoping to god he'd be back soon. and all of my extremities were begging me to run. "So. and they had done nothing to me to make me not hate them.ok. there's so much we need to talk about. with the look on their faces that told even the slowest person that they were up to no good. but with these two it was beyond easy..

and I turned to walk away. would look like she was checking if I was alright. "I'm leaving before I hit one of you two. trying to pull me to turn towards them. and my head again as I fell.. Lauren wasn't going to have this though. still trying to ignore the two girls. and we want to know a few things. . My hand went to the back of my head to check if the was blood. as she crouched and pressed her hand roughly down on my shoulder. The action.really. "Oh. "We heard about your little situation. what the FUCK do you think you're doing? Get away from her now!" Relief flooded through me when I heard Edward's (rather angry) voice coming from somewhere to my left. The ground suddenly lost contact with my feet.finishing this sentence.. "You're not going anywhere. my two hands had shot to beneath me. BELLA. Jess. and my body was prepared for the fall. crumpling to the floor. I felt my lower back slam into it. Worry flashed across Jessica's face for a tiny moment... just as I pulled away. It all felt like it was happening in slow motion. "Holy shit Bella! Lauren. and my legs tried desperately to find it again. What I hadn't seen was the long metal bench chair. with a fake 'worried pout'." Lauren finished just as I knew she would. luckily there was none." She hissed through gritted teeth. before Lauren laughed. but I could feel myself falling already. although I would have a bump the size of an egg for a few days." I said. is Belly losing what scrap of coordination she has left as she expands?" Lauren said." "I don't think so" Lauren said. as a hand grabbed my elbow roughly. The fall itself seemed to last twice as long as it really was. "Aw.38 - . "I really have nothing to say that concerns you two. and Jessica joined in. I groaned as I went to stand up. but where do you think you're going Belly?" Original. in an attempt to cushion the landing. to any onlooker.

Edward had only come close to crying in front of me once or twice in the past. or anyone for that matter. but Edward. I didn't want any trouble." Carlisle told me as he and Esme prepared dinner in the kitchen.. Edward has threatened to tell Esme what I got her ." The threat in his voice was enough to make the toughest of people scared." He leaned over to whisper something in my ear. about what happened at school. did they try to hurt the baby?" He choked out. I don't think that any extra tests are necessary. before I move you away. holding me tightly. fighting against the tears in his eyes. x-x "We should probably get you checked over Bella. "We're just helping you out like you asked Eddy. fear flashed over Lauren's face as she stood up. and in case anything had happened to the baby. and then managed to compose herself. I feel fine.. and pulled me in against his chest. The fact that it's my grandchild in there only reinforces my desire as a doctor to make sure that everything is ok.." I could almost hear Edward as he rolled his eyes. being Edward. Just a bit sore.. I could feel him shaking with both anger and fear.. no matter what stage of pregnancy.. and I most certainly didn't want to have a worried Edward on my hands for the rest of the day. really. "Shit Bella. she wanted to make sure everything was ok). and they walked away quickly..39 - . you think Bella is ever going to believe shit like that coming from you. we would do this for any pregnant lady who had a fall. "Yeah. is the baby. He would never hit a girl. had insisted in case there was more injury than we could see. are you ok?" Edward had taken Lauren's place in front of me. "Where are you sore? Did they. but I could tell he was close to it just then. quite a bit like my mother (who was planning on coming down in a few weeks. I had no intentions of telling Carlisle.. obviously suddenly scared.." I answered. "Carlisle. it had the same affect on me. and maybe do that ultrasound a little early. Now get the hell away from her. "I'm fine. right. seriously. He always did like to worry." "Bella. My heart broke at the sight. trying desperately to calm him down. I mean..Lauren froze. grabbed Jessica's arm... "besides. and each time. now that she knew I was pregnant.

about 3 inches long "that's the head." "Can you tell if it's a girl or a boy yet?" . and you can see here the arms and legs formed.for our anniversary if I don't do these tests. Edward and I were sitting in the ultrasound room. constantly using the mouse at the same time to click something on the screen. you see here" the nurse took the mouse and moved it over a shape resembling a peanut. Carlisle was next to her. we have some good news. The gel the squirted on my stomach was freezing.40 - . who had tears running down his cheeks. sitting on the edge of the bed next to me. She moved it around. "Ok Bella. It seemed I was the only one who couldn't see the screen. grinning as I looked up at Edward. he's more emotional than me sometimes. Edward was squeezing my hand. but still they made me drink MORE water. There is only so full a person's bladder can get. I looked back at the nurse as she angled the screen toward me. as a doctors consult. Of course he did. which just made the whole process longer). so that he could see the screen as well. while I drank yet another cup of water. and made me jump a little. Honestly." I rolled my eyes. which was quite annoying really. and this was getting ridiculously uncomfortable. Apparently. The evening was once again filled with a trip to the hospital. would you like to see the image of the fetus?" I nodded quickly. I had to have a full bladder to see anything on the ultrasound. The nurse eventually came in and set up the ultrasound machine. The nurse took the ultrasound stick and pressed firmly on my lower abdomen. "Ok. and after being poked and prodded and having blood taken (during which I passed out." she said smiling "everything looks completely normal. I'm going to kill him one day.

"and I love you Bella" AN. and whispered. procrastination is like masturbation. but in the end. so if that wasn't some freaking awesome fluff towards the end. Despite my previous confidence that everything would be fine. "love you little one" before he brought his head up and kissed my nose saying. Edward leaned down and placed a small kiss on my stomach after the gel had been wiped away.41 - . it feels good to begin with.Ok. I told you everything would be fine". I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS! :p So here is a quote from meilzdoggg01: Remember. we won't be able to see that for about another month at least" "See Edward. . "no.Carlisle chuckled a bit at this before answering. I was relieved to hear that everything was fine and that the baby was growing well. you realise you just fucked yourself.

Alice and I will find out exactly what those two skanks wanted won't we Al?" Alice grinned and nodded. but I came back out after talking to Jasper for a few minutes to find Bella on the ground. I made it to 200... I'm glad I came out when I did. but I couldn't live with myself.. except possibly murder. Lauren and Jessica were two of the most relentless girls I had ever met. Lauren was pressing down on Bella's shoulder. and looked like she was threatening her.Rosalie's vengance AN. I beta for lizzie1234. Go check out meilzdoggg01 and lizzie1234 if you get a chance. although that was still on my list of possibilities. a big thank you to midorigreentea.. and it wouldn't surprise me in the slightest if they had hurt my child and showed no remorse. and Jess and Lauren standing over her. "I'm not sure exactly what happened. waiting for Bella to get out of the shower. and her story (Luna Eclipse) is so imaginative and fun to read – so please do. I had known they would... who gave me the 200th review. Edward's POV "They did WHAT?" Bella and I were back home. Not knowing that I hurt someone. Bella would probably forgive me for it if I did.because what if one day I hurt her? . "Well." I shuddered to think what could have happened to Bella and our child if I hadn't come out when I did. on the couch in my room. turning toward Rose as they started planning exactly how they were going to get back at Jessica and Lauren. while I sat on the bed. and Rosalie and Alice were sitting across from me.OK. but I wasn't going to be a part of the planning either. just. and I wasn't about to stop them from doing anything. so thank you to EVERYONE who reviewed last chapter.42 - .

maybe if it's a girl we could call it Charlotte? I don't know why.. but the nurse who did the ultrasound tonight. I wasn't happy though. Kind of just rolls of the tongue. Plus. and I doubt that Jessica and Lauren knew what was coming. I always had.. and gets away unscathed. I was absolutely fuming when Alice and I left Edward's room. Charlotte Cullen. They could be ridiculously scary when they wanted to be. No one nearly hurts my Emmett's brother's baby. Of course she hadn't ranted in front of Edward and Bella. Alice and Rosalie must have heard it to. and the shower door open. I think you're right. Bella stepped out of the bathroom. It works. I was thinking.. Getting Alice and Rosalie angry was something I had avoided like the plague ever since they started dating my brothers. just upset that she hadn't found out earlier. but in this case. but that name has been jumping out at me from pages of books. her name was Charlotte. still talking animatedly. Maybe. or any baby for that matter. It was elegant. and I don't normally believe in 'signs'. She normally had a strange sixth sense about knowing when something was about to happen. I think Charlie might like it too. and she was happy that Bella was pregnant..43 - . undoubtedly figuring out the best way to hurt Jessica and Lauren without leaving visible marks. but not arrogant and pretentious. Now I had to hold back from committing . I'm going to fucking kill these bitches. Books by Charlotte Bronte seem to be begging me to pick them up and read them. it might be a sign that you're seeing it everywhere. I think maybe it is. "Edward. I smiled "I like it. You probably think it's a bit silly. I don't know if you noticed.I heard the shower stop. As he had told us what happened. and people with the name Charlotte seem to be everywhere. thinking for a moment." x-x Rosalie's POV No one hurt's Bella and gets away with it." She said grinning a little "what do you think?" I sat. I did like the name Charlotte. and Charlie would be over the moon. I had to hold back a rant that would have rivalled that of Alice's when she found out Bella was pregnant. because they both stood up and walked out of the room. and my rant wouldn't have been one that people could laugh at. and walked over to the bed.

given there are 95 people on alerts. and people who just stumble across this story) I will write the Rosalie+Alice vs Lauren+Jess fight . because apparently that's still illegal. mimicking the words Bella had told Edward that Lauren had said to her. "What the hell are you two doing?" Lauren asked. and she grimaced in pain. trying to jerk her arm away from me. and Alice and I pulled them toward the back of the building where people rarely went. faux sweetly. and say something that was apparently hilarious to Jessica. there's so much we need to talk about" I said. Alice and I were now in the same quad we're they'd hurt Bella. clad in the most disgusting almost matching bright yellow short shorts and black shirts. AN – ok. if you hadn't known her true intentions. "Lauren. Alice and I started walking in their direction. Alice nudged me discretely with her elbow. so if I get to 275 reviews (which really shouldn't be THAT hard. but it didn't seem to bother them in the slightest. Just as I thought about it. but I tightened my grip on her. in a tone that could easily be mistaken as happy. and I turned to see Lauren and Jess. making me smile.44 - .murder. nor did their apparent lack of fashion sense. and I saw Lauren look us up and down. "Hi girls" Alice started. Alice and I linked our arms through Jessica and Lauren's respectively. It was entirely too cold and rainy for that today. waiting for Jessica and Lauren to show up before the bell rang.

Lauren tried to run toward Alice. but apparently wiki let me down again :( so just pretend that the school year begins at the beginning of August k? Thanks you! Just to reiterate my point from the last 2 AN's – Thank you guys so fucking much for getting me to OVER 275. Care to explain why you attacked a pregnant lady. Alice. thinking that's when they start school. but I threw her back against the brick wall. but again." Jessica piped up. and Jessica took one step back to find her back pressed against the brick wall of the Gym. insults Alice's hair and gets away with it." "The whore had it coming.Don't Insult the Hair OK. but I might have to. suddenly looking proud. threw a punch into Jessica's ribs. not hard enough to give her a concussion. and wind her. You made my day(s) with your wonderful reviews. she was scared shitless. Jess was cowering in fright.. Rosalie's POV Alice and I pulled the two bitches around the back of the school. how can I help you? Did you want some advice on the haircut that looks remarkably like a porcupine raping your head Alice?" Alice's eyes flashed with anger. but her eyes gave her away. they truly are appreciated. "So. This made me feel sick. Unfortunately she wouldn't have the fear that she'd lost a . I didn't want to have to hold Alice back from murder. a thank you to dazzlemebetch who pointed out that I had stuffed up the months and what not. I wanted her to have nearly the same injuries as Bella. and even I was scared for a moment. but leave no lasting damage. "You'll pay for that Lauren. Alice stepped closer to Jessica. who had a fantastic punch for someone her size. that she could be PROUD of trying to hurt Bella. I didn't want to leave too many visible marks. in the exact position it would hurt like hell. but she'd have a fucking bad headache in a few hours. after we deal with the little incident with Bella. No one and I mean absolutely no one. I was writing this basing the current time being like. while Lauren was trying to act cocky.45 - .. so she knew exactly what it was like. Lauren's head flung back into the brick wall. a lot softer than I would have liked to.early August.

" I turned Lauren around roughly. Alice then handed Lauren the hair she'd cut off. Lauren would have to go get her haircut professionally now into a short cut. not even these bitches. When Alice and I had gotten out of earshot we broke down in giggles. gave Alice a confused look as I passed her the scissors. before saying "don't insult my hair again" in sickly sweet tone. "Wait a moment. and I fuck with you.46 - . who looked like she was about to help Lauren. I know I should feel bad for her. "Ok. to check if she was bleeding. all because she couldn't. but I didn't. "If you so much as think about helping her. and shoved her into the wall. trying to figure out what the hell just happened. can you pass me the scissors from my bag there?" I grinned as I realised what she was going to do. slow as always. Lauren. that clearly got across the unspoken message of fuck with me. Lauren's hand flew to the back of her head. and cut it off roughly at the base of her neck. and then quickly looked up at Jessica. just making it short. not being accurate or neat.child. I would never wish a miscarriage upon anyone. We picked up our bags. "Ok. shell shocked. Fucking Lemmings. realising she wouldn't win this fight. Alice stepped back and told Lauren to turn around. "That was fucking awesome Al! What made you think of cutting off her hair?" . leaving the two bitches standing there. you're next. we still have the issue of your little comment before to deal with. her back to me. don't mess with Bella" Lauren said. I might need you to hold her up against the wall Rose. just like I'm sure Bella's would have. or wouldn't keep her thoughts to herself. Rosie. and we walked away. but I wish they knew the absolute terror you felt when you think that there's a possibility that you had. get it?" Jessica just gave a meek nod as Alice roughly pulled all of Lauren's hideous peroxide blonde hair back. we get it.

remind me not to get on her bad side. I thought. grinning to myself before running off to find Emmett and give him the full wrap of the "discussion" we'd had with the "two bitches". looking oddly pleased and smug about something. and it was a point of endless teasing for her. considering they'd always hated her haircut. despite my protests. "Looking good Bella. looking done and muttering to each other. I walked up to the table where Alice and Rosalie sat. Alice had shoved me in this top this morning. and then to the tight top I was wearing today. not that she paid any attention. Alice loved her hair. you're growing quickly" Emmett said. "Ow" I pouted "that stung". and brushing it all the time. She keeps flicking her hair. and said "well. because they didn't deserve to have their names spoken. and she hit my hand with more force than I had expected. I narrowed my eyes in confusion as I tried to figure out what was different about them. . but I couldn't figure out how Alice could possibly know that. x-x A week later Bella's POV Lauren and Jessica hadn't been at school all of last week. and trying to come onto Jasper. Emmett looked up at me. I figured I'd hurt her in the most hideous way.Alice grinned.. with Jasper and Emmett. who looked amused.. and I scanned the lunchroom to see them sitting in the back corner. they both have haircut's almost identical to Alice's. I've had enough of people insulting my hair. to her anyway. which is strange..47 - . Alice just giggled and just kept walking. as we'd come to refer to them as. I raised an eyebrow at him and turned toward Alice and Rosalie who were trying to hide their smug expressions. and it was now Monday. She had said that people wouldn't be bothering me anymore. Wow. which showed off my growing bump. God. she's fucking evil. that I could" I held up my hand for her to high five. Then it hit me. and I pulled my hand away and glared mock angrily at her.. through a mouthful of food. and I was already pissed off at her for hurting Bella.

and it took me a moment to realise that she thought I was insulting her hair.. "We just talked to them Bella" Rosalie said. calm down.. a little too quickly. completely stunned that these two girls would do this for me.. "I know these things Bella. this year was going to be hard enough as it was. I'm just trying to figure out why on earth they would cut their hair like that. Jessica and Lauren hadn't been at school since the day after they hurt me. and I hated getting in trouble at school even more. "What did you two do?" I asked. hoping to god they weren't going to get in trouble. I thought they hated your pixie cut Alice?" I paused for a moment and then I had a realisation." She said. I just rolled my eyes and looked back at Jessica and Lauren.I would only be letting her reluctantly. I rolled my eyes before saying "because they spent so long thinking of names to tease you with. tapping her nose. what's with the two bitches' hair? I mean. I know these things.. but turned away again quickly when they saw me looking.." After convincing Rosalie and Alice I wouldn't get mad at them.. and wanting to go shopping for the baby things that I'd need for the nursery. but I wouldn't let her until we found out what I was having. Great. and I rolled my eyes.. it's not good for you or my little neice" "What makes you so sure it's a girl Alice? I don't even find out for about another month. who were staring at our table. "Alice. now I want to know what happened. and even then. and I sat. I promise I won't get angry.just tell me what happened? I'm curious now. they told me the entire recollection of a week ago."Guys.." Alice glared at me all of a sudden..." Alice had been telling me since everyone found out I was pregnant that it was a girl. and Alice and Rosalie had been oddly happy when they got home from school that day. "Honestly. I couldn't help but laugh when Alice told me what they said . that's all Alice.. I hated confrontation. you shouldn't worry so much Bella..48 - .

there's a list on my profile. but only because it was so unoriginal. AN – ok guys. unable to hold in my amusement of the mental image of Lauren's face when she had her precious hair handed to her by Alice Brandon. IT WAS AWESOME. reviews please. and it worked so well with what I had planned. I totally forgot to say this before :'( forgive me? LOVED THE IDEA.about her hair.49 - . and I knew that it would only make the incur the wrath of Alice. Alice finished up with her cutting off Lauren's hair. PS – if you have time. which should be avoided at all costs. you should go check out the stories I beta. So credit for that idea should go to her. . Thank you to sweettoothmegs for the haircut idea. and I burst out laughing.

He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh!" I almost yelled my hand flying to my stomach as I nearly started panicking. "Bella.it wasn't painful really.. knocking it over and running to me.it was a sudden pressure. and can't join us here today.... who had been in the next room burst into the room and rushed over to me. even though it wasn't to be handed in for 2 weeks. He ran his fingers through his hair like he does whenever he's frustrated or nervous. and now he felt like he was behind..yup there it is. A quick shout-out to my dear meilzdoggg01 who is at biology camp.. "Bella.50 - . I'd like you all to take a moment to mourn her absence. It breaks my heart a little. Just a few seconds later Carlisle. what's wrong?" Carlisle asked. (I'm being serious) August 12th I was lying on the bed watching Edward as he typed his part of our biology assessment.. sitting me back down on the bed. although I am sorry I didn't use the description 'major gas'.went.. Wait for it." A look of realisation passed over Carlisle's face before he asked me to put my hand on exactly where the pressure was. jumped out of his chair. Very helpful. and then it just. you scared me for a moment.Anxiety AN – I just want to say thank you to algonquinrt for giving me the finer details needed in the first part of this chapter.. "Bella!" Edward cried. He was stuck. I went to slide of the bed to help him when I felt it. It was just the baby kicking.. I finished mine yesterday. it just wasn't QUITE right. "I don't know. Is this the first time you've felt it?" .

I was now roughly 20 weeks pregnant. not our foetus" he said seriously. I settled in the car. and to know that there was more to come. even though it was technically correct.. even though he was grinning.. but it could have been moving before and Bella just didn't notice. her first time being pregnant. To be completely honest. even though we had half an hour to get to the hospital that was a 10 minute drive from the house. I'm sure he was waiting for Edward to lose his head. "The baby is kicking already?" Edward turned to Carlisle. "Well actually. He hated it when Carlisle referred to the baby as a foetus. It was comfortable because my legs had been aching a bit lately. This wasn't the one that the hospital had given us. I shook my head. all it takes is one swing. angling my body so that one leg was draped over Edward's lap and my back was nestled in the corner between the door and seat. It is. . insisting we were running late. getting thoroughly annoyed. it's our baby. August 19th Edward ushered me into the car. I am freaking out. Bella's Pregnancy Diary I'll admit that it is a little bit depressing to watch my once perfectly flat stomach expand so dramatically so quickly. after all. I was scared shitless now. a smile coming over my face as Edward looked at me in amazement. discontinuing that thought before I committed murder on the day of the ultrasound when we would hopefully find out the sex of the baby. I could find a machete somewhere. and it's not uncommon for women to only just start feeling the foetus move" Edward rolled his eyes "lose the medical terminology Dad. This was one I bought myself when I realised it was going to be harder for me to go through this pregnancy than I had originally though. Carlisle was grinning at us from the driver's seat. and was getting rounder by the day. I pulled out the diary that I was writing about the pregnancy in.51 - . I never realised how much I loved my body before. it's a bit late in starting. He found it oh so amusing that I was being rushed around.I nodded.

It kicks like a Cullen. Then again. and he seems to love my body. I hope it's a girl. I didn't have the answers for myself." "Edward" I cut him off "I don't want to have that conversation just yet. Please. "What's wrong love?" Do I tell him the truth? That I'm scared.. which makes me feel better about it. I think Edward wants a girl too. :p .Edward is being supportive though. I can see that. He read through it quickly. but as I read over it I realised it was true. We're finding out the sex of the baby today. Someone he can spoil. It's already far too coordinated to take after me in that department. I can tell you that much. It's quite cute really. I handed him the diary.. Edward stroked my leg pulling me out of my trance as I stared at what I had just written. so far I haven't felt it manage to kick itself in the face after all. AN – you know the drill :-) reviews are very much appreciated Do you wanna know the sex of the baby? Review then.. I'm just being a normal first time mother. and then sadness took over his face. He's going to be a great father. I'm not sure why. I'm just scared I won't be a good enough mother. "Bella. being upset. He can't feel it yet apparently. still open at the page I had just written on. Instead of saying anything. a look of worry.. don't talk about it yet. but he is determined to feel it. I didn't even realise what I was writing. worrying. trying to feel the baby kick. watching his face as he concentrates on trying to feel something whenever I feel the baby kicking...52 - . I'm not sure it can be fixed that easily. He feels my belly every opportunity. let alone for him. hoping to god he took my words into consideration and just dropped it for now. ok? I am happy that we're having this child.he'll just feel guilty and try to fix it." I said.if I don't tell him I'm lying to him...

It's a AN – I got a big complaint on the last chapter about me asking for a certain number of reviews. and then going back to Bella – just so no one gets confuddled! Edward's POV I put my hand on Bella's stomach. Just to reiterate my point: DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve. I love reviews. :) Thank you to everyone who did review. but I am only 19. Not exactly old. . and not one of you apart from the complaint said something derogatory towards me. and moved my hand a little bit. and yeah. but maybe I would be lucky. my first physical interaction with my child. Oh. and I was desperate to feel it too. Seriously. She had felt the baby kick a few days ago. We had 45 minutes to get to the hospital. we need to get to the hospital or we're going to be late" She looked at the clock and then raised her eyebrows at me. and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. come on Bella. This chapter is for you. and for those who know me. because you guys rock. So far my luck had been pretty damned good. I know that I probably won't be able to feel it for another few weeks. thank you to drtammy1512 – for the information about size and what not. I frowned. but I was impatient to get there. we're starting here with Edward's POV of the last chapter. I know she was looking forward to it too. I just wanted to say I do that to try to give me more time to write these chapters. before sighing and taking it off again. Ok. my lovelies reviewers. I knew that. :) just to put your mind at rest.53 - . "Ok. It might be immature. This was the part of the pregnancy that I had been waiting for. the baby is fine! Just a little late in starting to move. I am most certainly not mature.

I'd kill whoever suggested it..sad. looking back down at her diary and then back at me." Well that's good. ok? I am happy that we're having this child. but he was called to a consult about 30 minutes earlier. We didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I had not expected that. worrying. "What's wrong love?" She hesitated. .. After about 5 minutes I looked back up at her to see her looking. Bella leaned back in the car and slung one leg over mine. I sat on the bed waiting for the nurse to come in. being upset. Please. I hadn't asked to read it. I can understand why she wanted to stay in bed for a bit longer though." "Edward" she cut me off "I don't want to have that conversation just yet. Edward sat next to me and pulled me against his chest and stroked my hair. because I have no idea what to say to that.. I'm just being a normal first time mother. so I was glad that I had made Bella get up when I did. Carlisle was going to try to make it.... and then by the third time I still didn't know what to say. because I had one of my own that I would be too terrified to let Bella read sometimes. I was scared about this baby.By the time we actually got in the car we only had 30 minutes to get there. I read it once. Then he spoke for the first time since I showed him my diary. but she's feeling exactly the same way. then twice. don't talk about it yet. and pulled out the diary that she had been writing in for a while. Bella's POV After being made to drink another ridiculous amount of water. so he couldn't promise he'd be here. I thought she'd be angry because I was scared about this.54 - . "Bella. and swearing to myself that if I ever had to drink this much again. Then she handed it to me.

that's the feet and legs" she moved the mouse to point at the top of the screen "there is its head. I'm scared I'm going to fuck this child up." I looked up at Edward who was staring at the screen in awe. almost as if to let us know that he understood exactly what was happening. then slid his head down so that his cheek was resting on mine. up to his chest. Finally."I'm scared too. Ridiculously scared. this is your second ultrasound. But we're doing this together. "Ok. kids. He lifted his hand. she turned to me and asked if I'd like to see. I reached up and stroked his cheek gently. I just nodded frantically. and leant in. I was too concentrated on watching Carlisle's face as he watched the screen. The nurse clicked and measured. The door opened. I have no idea what to do. correct?" I nodded. and winced at the cool gel was squirted onto my abdomen. we'll get started. and if you look closely. As long as it's together' I nodded against his chest.55 - . I barely noticed the strain on my bladder as she pushed down this time. you can see it sucking its thumb. still intertwined with mine. biting my bottom lip. and remember what I said Bella? When you went cliff-diving" 'We can do anything Love. Bella. I'm sure that Edward was as nervous as I was at this particular moment. Did you want to know the sex?" Carlisle spoke up after a couple of minutes. "Ok. and pull your top up to your chest. desperate to see my child. and in walked Carlisle with the nurse. He look down and me. "Ok Bella. and let the tears roll down. The nurse spun the monitor around so that I could see the screen and smiled at me." I did ask she said. placing a soft kiss on the side of my mouth. all the while typing notes. if you'd like to lie back. "If you see there. push your jeans down about 2 inches. Carlisle smiled at us gently. .

"We'd love to know. "I. before he turned to me "I can feel it. Dad" he answered the question for me. It was my turn to pull him toward me. Together we were stronger than any fear that could try to take us over." he whispered. and the sides of his lips curled up in a smile. kissed his neck while his hand stayed on my stomach. and you could see its tiny nose. placing it on the spot I could feel it. I wrapped my arms around his chest. and grabbed Edward's hand. She and this child are my everything. I'm scared I'm going to fuck this child up. It was absolute hell. I looked at Bella. Our baby had all its fingers and toes. hoping it would kick again.. stroked her hair. I couldn't let my Bella beat herself up over feeling like this.. when I was feeling exactly the same way. soaking through. x-x We hopped out of the car as when we pulled back up to the Cullen's house..I looked up at Edward. enjoying the feel of her body against me. I can feel it! I can feel it Dad!" he said. Edward's POV I sat next to Bella on the hospital bed waiting for the nurse to come back in and do the damned ultrasound already. but I continued to hold her. who was looking at the sheets on the bed. finding new things each time we looked. Bella. His mouth dropped open. calling out to Carlisle. as long as we were together. it still is. Ridiculously scared. I could feel her tears staining my shirt. But we're doing this together. and remember what I said Bella? When you went cliff-diving" I had told her that we could do anything. grinning like a fool.56 - . "I'm scared too. still looking in amazement at the ultrasound pictures. It was true. I decided I had to say it. there is nothing that can change that. I felt it kick again. I have no idea what to do. I pulled her against my chest. Bella. and nodded at him. waiting for her to come back.. .

he knew exactly what was happening. "Ok." I was staring at the screen. "Ok Bella. we'll get started. I look down at her. if you'd like to lie back. Bella nodded frantically. and I too." Bella did that. and in walked Carlisle with the nurse. Bella winced as the cool gel was squirted onto her abdomen. and he understood.The door opened. you can see that it's a girl. if you look here. was terrified at this moment. this is your second ultrasound. Congratulations Edward. correct?" the nurse asked. and knowing my father. who smiled and nodded at me. push your jeans down about 2 inches. making me smile and nod once. "If you see there. Bella. The nurse spun the monitor around so that we could see the screen and smiled at Bella. then slid my head down so that her cheek was resting on mine. watching my baby as it moved. and asked if we'd like to see. Bella reached up and stroked my cheek gently. That was just the way Carlisle was. and leant in. She really was beautiful. Dad" I answered. and I smiled at her stomach. Did you want to know the sex?" Carlisle spoke up after a couple of minutes.57 - . that's the feet and legs" she moved the mouse to point at the top of the screen "there is its head. placing a soft kiss on the side of her mouth. and if you look closely. Eventually. even as she got bigger. Carlisle smiled. The nurse clicked and measured. She only did that when she was nervous. "Ok. she turned to Bella and I. You're having a baby girl" . you can see it sucking its thumb. Bella nodded. all the while typing notes. and pull your top up to your chest. "Ok. "We'd love to know. and bit her bottom lip. kids. I looked at Bella. I just hoped that I could show her that.

it was short.A girl. I know we can do it. I would like to get to 480 reviews for this. Seriously.58 - .. But 480 is the goal :) . AN – Ok. I couldn't be any happier in that moment. Again: DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve. 500 would make me fucking ecstatic though. but I have to go out.. and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. I'm going to be a daddy to a baby girl. and I'd probably write a super doper sweet chapter for you all.

. thank you all for your amazing response to the last chapter." ok.59 - . watch this... so that was a complete lie. Seriously.could you please get me a glass of water. I'm feeling a bit nauseous for moving so quickly. I went shopping today and bought some things you HAVE to see!" Alice took my hand and pulled me along. I really do appreciate them.. Alice walked to the kitchen and returned about a minute later with a dry cracker and a glass of water. "It's all in the baby. and Jasper trying to catch her. "Alice.Vienna Teng Bella's POV We walked into the house only to be nearly bowled over by a bouncy Alice.." I stopped walking and let go of Alice's hand.Lullaby for a Stormy Night AN – DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve. I giggled as she came to a complete stop. remarkably slowly for Alice. or the song used in this chapter . motioning for me to sit down. Get yourself pregnant Jasper and she'll bend to your every whim. but I was proving a point to Jasper. I do not own Twilight. On a happier note. Jasper gave me a look and quietly asked "how did you do that? I've been trying to get her to sit down for 2 hours now!" I grinned a little at Jasper. "Bella! Oh how'd it go? Come on. and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. a massive grin spreading over her face as she saw me.Lullaby for a Stormy Night .. even if I didn't get to reply to all of them. .

It was picture perfect.Jasper looked dumbfounded as he watched Alice moved at a normal pace and not giggle once. and Esme was fussing over the guest room to make sure everything was ready.love it!" Alice grinned and closed the door again. and a small mattress. "Are you ok? Did you want to lie down?" "I'm fine. "Ok. It's not that Alice is inconsiderate. "Well.. She opened the door.we went shopping today as I said and. she's just so hyperactive all the time that it's hard to keep up with her or keep her still and quiet for more than 5 seconds. There was a white baby blanket in the crib. it seemed right to have something set up. "You like?" Alice was grinning like a 5 year old now as I looked around the room. just needed to sit for a moment" I grinned at Jasper who looked like he was about to pass out.60 - . "You can ogle later. so what is it you wanted to show me?" Alice smiled and started to walk and talk." we stopped outside a room down the hall from Edward and my room.. Bella had assured my mother that she really didn't need to do that and that her mother really wasn't that fussy. . I stood up again and turned to Alice. Inside was a beautiful white crib with lace trimmings. and even though I was only about half way through. and I gasped... for now. In the corner was a matching white rocking chair and change table.. "I. we have some talking to do!" x-x Edward's POV Bella's mother was coming down in less than a week..

61 - . and I wasn't going to stop her doing that. even though they'd talked on the phone a lot. I think secretly she just enjoyed to organise these things." x-x About an hour later I came out of the shower to find Bella not in our room. it was still a bit awkward. singing a song I didn't recognise softly. a hand on her stomach. It was what made my mother feel comfortable. Bella was nervous.. be not afraid The rain pounds harsh against the glass Like an unwanted stranger There is no danger I am here tonight Little child Be not afraid Though thunder explodes And lightning flash Illuminates your tearstained face . Finally I heard a soft voice coming from the nursey. "Bella. where she had been when I left. it had been a while since he and Bella had seen each other.but Esme had insisted. I could see it in the way she fidgeted with the sleeves of her shirt and paced. I opened the door quietly to see Bella sitting in the rocking chair. Charlie was coming for dinner tonight as well. it'll be fine I promise. calm down love. then the lounge room. and started to panic. I walked downstairs to the kitchen to see if she was in there. to no avail.. Little child. before I looked.

understand And I am here tonight And someday you'll know .I am here tonight And someday you'll know That nature is so This same rain that draws you near me Falls on rivers and land And forests and sand Makes the beautiful world that you see In the morning Little child Be not afraid The storm clouds mask your beloved moon And its candlelight beams Still keep pleasant dreams I am here tonight Little child Be not afraid The wind makes creatures of our trees And the branches to hands They're not real.62 - .

once even I Was a little child And I was afraid But a gentle someone always came To dry all my tears Trade sweet sleep the fears And to give a kiss goodnight Well.63 - . now I am grown And these years have shown Rain's a part of how life goes But it's dark and it's late So I'll hold you and wait 'til your frightened eyes do close And I hope that you'll know That nature is so .That nature is so This same rain that draws you near me Falls on rivers and land And forest and sand Makes the beautiful world that you see In the morning For you know.

and lay my head on her leg. It's by Vienna Teng.This same rain that draws you near me Falls on rivers and land And forests and sand Makes the beautiful world that you see In the morning Everything's fine in the morning The rain will be gone in the morning But I'll still be here in the morning She finished singing. and the aim for this chapter is . leading up to the next chapter. "I'm better than alright Edward.. rather than grief.it's like it calms her down. which will involve Bella's mom and dad. and I could see silent tears running down her cheeks. AN – a bit of fluff there..Charlotte stops kicking when I sing it. I hope you all liked it.. I walked to her. "Bella.. "It's going to be alright.64 - . and started humming again.." I placed my hand on Bella's stomach.. and I haven't been able to get it out of my head.are you alright?" She looked down at me and smiled. and knelt next to the chair. You know I will do anything for you and my baby girl don't you?" Bella said nothing. Instead she ran one hand through my hair." "What is it?" "Lullaby for a Stormy Night. I heard that lullaby the other day. and I saw happiness in her eyes.

. That really shouldn't be too hard :) Everyone should get that lullaby and listen to it.65 - .to get to 550 reviews. and you seriously don't want me Incredible Hulk-ing. It will seriously make you cry. Seriously. DO NOT ADD ME TO ALERTS AND FAVS WITHOUT REVIEWING OR I WILL GO INCREDIBLE HULK ON YOU! It is my pet peeve.

Monopoly
AN – The beginning of this is in Renee's POV. I don't know why, but to me it seemed important that we see how she is thinking/feeling about this whole situation. Renee's POV It had taken me up until a few days ago to accept that my daughter was pregnant. I hadn't been angry at her; it was just difficult to think of my baby girl having a child of her own. It seemed like just yesterday that I was bringing her home from the hospital. I stepped off the plane, onto the wet asphalt, and was immediately cold and wet. This is why I didn't stay in Washington. Charlie was getting me from this airport, and taking me to stay with him, in Bella's old room. This was going to be awkward. No, more than awkward. I racked my brain for a word to describe how awkward this would be, but came up with nothing. I walked to the pick up area of the airport with my single duffle bag, and spotted the ominous police cruiser that was so very Charlie. It wasn't that we did get along anymore. We just didn't talk. Whenever we did, the conversation was filled with silences and 'yeah...so...' I walked up to the car and tapped on the window, forcing a smile as he leant over to unlock the door. "Hi Charlie..." "Ren... how you doing?" How am I doing? Scared shitless...terrified of being a grandma...nervous about being in the same car as you again...the list goes on... "I'm fine I think..."
- 66 -

Yup, that's a good answer. "Have you talked to Bell's yet?" "Yeah...she called me just after her ultrasound. Has she told you yet?" Charlie grinned and looked over at me quickly. "Yeah she has. I'm actually excited now. I never thought I'd be this excited to see my teenage daughter pregnant. But I'm going be Pop to a baby girl... it makes it all more real, you know?" "Mmm yeah... I do..." I looked out the window, thinking about how miserable this place was, whilst trying to fight off the suffocating feeling that came with being back here. "Are you looking forward to dinner tonight?" I raised my eyebrows at Charlie. Am I looking forward to the awkward conversation with my daughter's boyfriend's family? Are you serious? Oh god...I sound far to much like Bella... "Not really... are you?" Charlie smirked. "Yeah ok, so that was a bit of a stupid question...I'm not looking forward to it either. I haven't actually seen Bella since the night she told me. We've talked over the phone, but I guess I was avoiding having to go through that. Looks like I can't avoid it much longer." I just smiled and turned out to look at him. He really hadn't changed a bit. Don't get me wrong, I would never go there again, I am happy with Phil; more than happy. Sometimes I just wonder what things would be like now if I had never left. Bella's POV I was running around the house trying to get things organised for the dinner. Edward was watching on, following me around like a sick puppy, making sure I didn't hurt myself. It was sweet really, just he was getting in the way, and I was at my wits end already.
- 67 -

"Edward, for Christ's sake! Would you stop following me? You're getting in the way and I have so much to do for tonight that I don't have time for you to pander me and make sure I don't fall over!" The moment the words came out of my mouth, I regretted them. Edward's face turned from one of concern to devastation in 0.001 of a second, and he nodded, turning away. Fucking hormones. I took a deep breath before walking after him. "Edward, wait. I'm sorry, you know I didn't mean that...well...I did mean the part about having a lot to do. But I didn't mean to take my frustration out on you..." Edward looked at me, watching my eyes as I spoke. I could see him trying to determine how upset I was. He hated me upset, about as much as I hated seeing him upset. He took a step toward me, placing a hand on my cheek, smiling slightly. "Bella, it's ok. You don't need to apologise. I do need to stop worrying so much, I know. You're perfectly capable, even though your coordination does leave much to be desired, you're a perfectly capable person. I just wish I could help out with more...you're not going to let me do anything though, are you?" My first instinct was to say no, that he wasn't allowed to exert himself, but I could see his eyes begging me to let him help with ANYTHING. Sighing I said, "you can help me clean the dining room..." "Didn't you already clean that last night?" "Yes I cleaned it LAST NIGHT! Before dinner! Now it's had people in it!" Edward took my hand and dragged me to the bedroom. "Bella, sit." I glared at him, but sat on the edge of the bed anyway. "What?"
- 68 -

"You need to calm down. You're stressing far too much about this, and it's going to be ok. Your parents are going to be here to see you, not to examine how clean the house is. Why are you so worried about this? You seemed fine when we first organised this..." "I don't know...I guess I just hadn't really thought about this properly until recently. I know my mom isn't angry, but do you actually think she's going to be happy about this? And well...dad didn't exactly take it all that well either." "Bella, you have talked to both of them since then, and has either one of them ever done anything to make you think that they're really angry with you?" I thought about it for a moment before shaking my head. No, they hadn't. It didn't stop me from worrying though it did make it a bit better. "Come on. We need to get changed, they'll be here soon anyway, and I want to leave time for Alice to change you three times before deciding you're wearing something acceptable." Suddenly, as he walked to the dresser, I found myself with the courage to ask him what had been on my mind for the past few months. "Edward...do you still want me? Physically I mean..." He turned to look at me, and his eyes widened as if I had just grown a second head. "Are you crazy Bella? Of course, I still want you physically! Why on earth would you think otherwise?" "Well..." Oh god this is more awkward than the first conversation we ever had about sex... "We haven't had sex since we found out I was pregnant..." Edward looked down, pinched the bridge of his nose, sighing before looking up at me again. He walked over to the bed, and sat down next to me, one leg underneath him. "Bella...I just don't know if it's a good idea to have sex while you're pregnant." "Why? I want it! So much! It's sending me insane!" I said this before I even thought about it, and cringed as I realised what I had just
- 69 -

It was either asking Carlisle. "I don't want to talk to some stranger about my sex life?" "Edward. motioning to my swollen belly.they kind of already know we have sex.. "Regardless. smoothed out the non-existent creases in my dress.. before giving me a soft kiss.why don't we ask the OB-GYN?" Edward looked at me incredulously. "What about Carlisle then? Ask him.said... before pushing me down on the bed by my shoulders. He looked at me longingly for a moment.... Do you have any idea how embarrassing an awkward this conversation is going to be?" I grinned at the thought." I said.. That was just Edward." Edward could hear the finality in my tone.. but quickly wiped it off my face as I saw Edward glaring at me.. "I'll talk to Carlisle tonight. Bella. I promise" He kissed the side of my mouth before getting up.I don't want to risk it when we don't know what could happen. and starting to get changed. I could understand that he didn't want to hurt me or the baby.70 - .. after your parents leave. I stood up from my seat on the lounge." I sighed. x-x At exactly 6 pm there was a tentative knock on the front door.. or asking the OB-GYN. "Fine. especially when my hormones were making me want it more than ever. "What if I hurt you? Or the baby? I don't know anything about this Bella. and walked . I couldn't keep the expression off entirely. Unfortunately.." "Well.I'll talk to Carlisle tonight. and Edward growled at me. But I wasn't going to go the next 20 weeks without an orgasm. I was getting frustrated..

I wouldn't be able to avoid it anymore. and I was getting more nervous by the second. some lemony goodness between none other than our Edward and Bella. Edward by my side. Jasper. Emmett slammed his piece (the cannon. After another round of monopoly. but I was getting peeved at how long it was taking me. smiling genuinely. who was 7 spaces away from free parking. who were sitting on the floor playing monopoly. Esme and Carlisle stood up. Why don't you both come in?" Edward said.. Rose. and Emmett. in which Edward won by a long shot. and it would just be Edward and I with the parents. put on my best smile. some Edward and Carlisle awkward talk about sex. Jasper. rather competitively. Charlie. this wasn't where I was gonna end it. and greeted my parents. Alice. it's good to see you again." I said awkwardly. go figure) down on the free parking space. because once dinner was over.. while Edward and I walked back over to Alice. Thank you . So far Mom and Dad had spent the time talking to Esme and Carlisle.71 - . "Hi mom" I gave her a hug before turning to dad. and scooped up the money in the middle of the board with a loud resounding "YES!" and earning himself a glare from Alice. "Renee. "Hey dad. I took a deep breath. and opened the door to a very nervous looking mom and dad. Mum was holding a silver wrapped gift with a little pink bow on the top. AN – ok. Esme came out to tell us all that dinner was ready.to answer the door. AND if you're lucky. So in the next chapter we have some parental Deep and Meaningful conversation. I mentally slapped myself for not thinking about the fact we were all still standing in the doorway as we walked through to the lounge room. Rosalie and Emmett were going out to a party. but I knew it was my turn soon.

That means 60 reviews for this chapter. awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact with anyone else in the room. but I'll update ASAP after 675? Thank you. and Charlie smiled and said "yes". Jasper. Esme had already framed one of them and put it in her room. and Emmett left with an encouraging hug. Now we were all sitting back in the lounge room. which has currently been stopped because of one reviewer in particular. who saw it necessary to leave reviews such as "just stop writing". and her story. Never Letting You Go... and nessa19... Mom nodded enthusiastically. . I'm going to have to say I'll update at 675 reviews this time. "Erm.no? Did you guys want to see it?" I asked. I hope you will all join me in hoping she decides to start writing again. What do you reckon? I need the time :p LOL.72 - . grinning. so it didn't surprise me that she wanted to share. turning to Mom and Dad.Conversations AN .Ok guys. *snicker* the conversation between Edward and Carlisle was so fun to write. "Oh. for a close 601st review. Bella" Esme spoke up first. Rosalie. "Yup?" "Did you show Renee and Charlie the ultrasound prints yet?" she asked. and Alice. Thank you to erickandedward4ever for the 600th review. Oh fuck me. More than that would be fantastic. This chapter is dedicated to meilzdoggg01. so I hope you all like it too :D Bella's POV The end of dinner came all too quickly.

Getting up.. You could see the shape of a baby.." I looked at dad. Shaking myself out of the memory." "You're naming her Charlotte?" Charlie said at the same time as Carlisle said "Charlotte?" Both of them had smiles that could rival my happiness at this moment.. We thought it was close to both your names. I can't wait to be a grandmother. but a little confused. Esme and Mom. "Oh. I handed the picture to Mom first.yes.I grinned as I realised that my parents weren't as against this as I had assumed they were. I changed my grin to a small smile and walked back to the lounge room. you're our baby girl. Bella! She's amazing!" I let out a small laugh at this. and we're trying to decide on a middle name at the moment that is close to both your names. All the limbs and you could make out the fingers and toes if you looked close enough.." "You thought we'd be angry? Oh. I saw Edward looking amused.73 - . I had asked Carlisle how he could tell it was a girl because I couldn't see anything. . But I don't think I could be happier now. "What's funny Bella?" He asked. just smaller. "Well. Um. and now I'm watching my mother coo over a picture of Charlotte. despite the fact it's scaring me to think that I'm going to be a grandmother this early in life.. "Well. a couple of hours ago I was terrified I was about to be yelled at for being pregnant. and I suddenly felt five pairs of eyes on me. There was my baby. but that's more difficult than we thought it would be. hoping he had something to say. and her face lit up as she saw her grandchild for the first time. I paused for a moment. It was always going to be hard for us to accept that you're going to have a baby of your own.. I had laughed when he pointed out the lack of a penis as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Of course we were upset at first. I walked to the kitchen were a copy of the ultrasound was held to the fridge by a magnet. staring at the picture. Bella.

" Mom passed me the wrapped present that she was holding earlier but I had completely forgotten about until now. "Oh. That he and I would be ok. It was crocheted with ribbon woven through the edge of it. "Carlisle. . but that was just Bella. and it's absolutely perfect.. this is awkward.. I turned to see him sit down and smile at me. this was a big statement. and told me he was ok now." From Charlie. she could read it again and again.. I was wondering if I could talk to you about something. and still find something new and interesting about it." I said as I closed the door behind me.74 - . What can I help you with?" Oh god. and Bella. How do I start this? "Can Bella and I have sex?" I cringed as I heard the words tumble out of my mouth before I could stop myself. X-X Edward's POV Charlie and Renee left at about 10pm. I was starting to get nervous about having to ask my father about sex. "Of course you can. It made sense really."Um. I unwrapped it to reveal the most beautiful intricate baby blanket I had ever seen. and the light pink ribbon was tied in small bows at each corner. we bought you and Edward a present.yeah. If she liked a book. Me too. I'm sure she's already read it at least 5 times. I was sexually frustrated as hell. The white seemed to glitter. and Bella had made it clear that she was about a thousand times worse than me at the moment. I waited until Carlisle went into his study and I followed him. We found it when we were in Port Angeles earlier today. and Bella had gone to bed to read her book for English. what with her hormones raging and all. of all things. but reality is..

Carlisle Cullen. you can read through this.. "What?" he said." fuck me. telling me silently to continue. and we haven't had sex since we found out. and that's the last thing I want to happen. Bella's pregnant. is it ok for her and I to have sex while she's pregnant?" Carlisle smiled and nodded again.. "Well..because I'm worried that by having sex with her. but like I said.." He handed me a large stack of paper that he had just printed out. Positions for Sex during Pregnancy. I'd personally say the benefits outweigh the risks" Wow. and I'll take you to the hospital. that was far too much information right there. why is this so hard? I've had sex before. I might hurt the baby.. However.. So now she's making me ask you. I could definitely go without this conversation. "I'll print you out a little information. probably so he could figure out what on earth I was talking about. Why can't he jsut figure out what I want to know and tell me? Read my mind damn it Carlisle. "I haven't been. if she says it hurts or is bleeding. before turning to his computer. Carlisle nodded.. I need you both to come to me immediately. there are a few risked involved in having sex while she's pregnant. but overall. you don't need to give me information on that! Ew! .Carlisle raised his eyebrows in surprise. I don't want to hurt her either...making advances. "Edward. The were general things like 'All You Need to Know About Sex During Pregnancy' and. I flicked through it quickly looking at the titles on each piece of paper. Other than that. it should be perfectly safe. "Well.. so really there are no major problems I can think of.75 - . I continued. thank you. and now Bella is making me talk to you about this" I put a lot of emphasis on the word making.. After a few moments waiting for Carlisle to figure it out himself. he knows this. I don't believe that Bella is a high risk pregnancy.. with a laugh in his voice.

. As I closed the door I could have sworn I heard him chuckling. :-) .." I got up and walked out. AN – ok.yeah. so review if you want lemons in the next chapter. Thanks Dad.76 - . Aim is 675."Um.

but he said that it's fine for us to have sex. this would NEVER have gotten out. I climbed onto the bed. and it was taking all my strength not to ravish her there. smiling gently. all your reviewers and reader rock my awesome coloured mismatching socks! Reviews really do make my day. grinning down at her. and walked in. and she placed the book on the side table." Bella raised an eyebrow at me. showing off her amazing body as it grew. so thank you! Btw guys. I was stuck on one sentence for half an hour before Meilz came to the rescue. :D Edward's POV I walked up the stairs to Bella's and my bedroom. I opened my mouth for her. and pulling her to straddle my lap. and rewrote it for me.77 - . I took a deep breathe. where she sat. giving it a little nibble before letting it go and licking my bottom lip. and as you can see. "I learnt a bit too much about my father. in nothing but a pair of undies and a tight t-shirt. Without them. "Awkwardly. Oh right. I am never doing that again. grabbing my shirt and pulling me toward her. and began caressing her tongue with mine. before kneeling up on the bed.Wow Uhuh AN – I have to thank heralice09 and meilzdoggg01 for their priceless help on this." I said. cross-legged. "How'd it go?" she asked. make me update. She was truly beautiful. She looked up from her position on the bed. kneeling in front of her. Bella's face lit up the instant I said that. trying to keep the raging hormones that were threatening to have me jump Bella there and then in check. Pausing for a moment outside the door. and sucking my bottom lip into her mouth. she wants to know the verdict. .

. I flicked out my tongue against her clit. letting me get it off." I grinned. and kissed me before saying. The small of her back always was one of her most sensitive parts. making Bella let out the softest. I kissed from her neck. letting her pulled it off and discard it by throwing it somewhere in the corner of the room. She sighed as I pulled them effortlessly down and let out a soft moan when I blew cool air onto her glistening wet folds. I left a trail of small nips and kisses down her stomach. "Oh god Edward. I sucked her clit into my mouth. as I ran my hand up along her creamy thigh to her hip."Bella. Bella's POV Edward slid two fingers into me. I let out a deep moan and all but ripped her shirt up. and I could definitely say in that moment.." I moaned out as he slid his fingers back out of me and stopped .78 - . Bella shivered under my touch. It had always been great. Bella giggled softly as I pushed her back so she was lying down. and slowly pulled it up. She scraped her finger nails lightly down my chest. and nibbled on my earlobe. that being pregnant makes sex impossibly better... taking in the amazing sight laid before me. to her breasts. Slowly I slid two fingers into her. and her undies. and kissed her again. I lifted my arms for her. have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" Bella grinned. most erotic moan I'd ever heard. running my hand softly down her back. I did the same to her other breast. but the feel of Edward's fingers moving inside of me while he licked and sucked out my clit was bringing me closer and closer to orgasm faster than ever. Bella lifted the hem of my shirt. stopping just above her underwear. biting it gently. lingering at the small of her back. "mmm. rolling it between my tongue and while I let my fingers stroke at her entrance. I looked over her body. and she bucked her hips against my mouth. causing me to smile.. and sucked in one nipple..quite frequently. before tracing patterns along the skin bared between the hem of her shirt. Her arms flew up automatically.

. I started moving up and down. and I lowered myself onto him and he kissed me and massaged my breast. His lips parted slightly." . "Wow. Edward opened his eyes. My walls clenched around Edward as I moved faster. and let myself go. I fucking loved it when he said stuff like that. and gently stroked him up and down. I gazed into his eyes.working on making me orgasm for him "why the hell are you stopping?" I was about to get amazingly pissed off at me as he licked off his fingers and kissed me with a lot more force this time. I undid his pants. the feel of Edward in me was enough to nearly send me over the edge. and looked into mind. "I want you Bella" I bit my bottom lip. I felt Edward's hips buck up wildly as he spilt his seed into me. and my fingers and toes curled. After a few minutes Edward broke the silence. and let out a moan. I took him in my hand. trying to catch my breath. and I leaned down to kiss them. but I was determined to hold on a little bit longer than that. watching Edward's face as I did this. I slowed down my movement before stopping completely and just laying against Edward's chest. The size of him never ceases to amaze me. before clenching shut. taking his boxer briefs with them. My whole body tingled.79 - . I stopped stroking him and moved up so that I was positioned just above his length. His eyes widened for a moment. and sat up pushed him back so that he was sitting with his back against the headboard of the bed. I pulled his pants off.. "Fuck!" I cried out as I came around him.

before I finally decided I should probably move off of him.80 - . "Edward?" "Yes love?" "That was hands down the most amazing sex we've ever had." AN – omg thank Christ. You like? Review please! Aim is 750."Uhuh." Edward looked at me... one leg draped over Edward's legs.." was all I could manage to reply with. I will cut off your balls.. smirking with one eyebrow raised "we don't have a dog. I rolled myself so that I was lying on my side. Special mentions will go to the 700th and 750th reviews in the next chapter :) there will also be a mention for the best review! :) I have decided to make this reviewing stuff fun :D Love you all! xx . It's there. and if you ever say that you're not going to do that again. We lay like that for half an hour. my head against his chest. and feed them to the dog.

there is a fic I love at the moment. The lounge room had been transformed into one big open space. the best review for last chapter goes to Kellie Stults! Thank you all for reviewing last chapter. Also. She didn't want me to do anything. Alice had insisted on this to give her all the presents that everyone had bought her. and I'd just like to say sorry that I wasn't able to reply to all of them. It was her 18th birthday after all. had opted for a more private present that I'm sure she would love. On with the chapter. I did try. Alice and I had been up since 6 am organising everything. but the(dot)lamb(dot)loves(dot)the(dot)lion called Midnight's Horizon. rocking chair.81 - . it also now has PICTURES of the crib. I'd love for you to go and read that if you get a chance! Ok. I have created a livejournal to answer the most FAQ about my fics. Alice and I had gone against her wishes. and finally. and there was no way we were going to let this important occasion go by without celebrating it.Birthday Surprises THANKS TO INSATIABLE06 FOR MAKING THIS LESS OF A MESS! AN – this chapter is dedicated to algonquinrt. as I said last chapter. getting the house ready for her surprise. with a table the table and small coffee table on the far wall. I. you should all check out her amazing stories. but as always. September 13th Edward's POV It was Bella's birthday. and baby blanket featured in this story. on the other hand. but it became somewhat impossible. The link to that is on my profile. . reviewer 700 – signkat. I would like to give a special mention to reviewer 750 – hamistasty.

and eggs for the past month. What. knowing that I had to time this perfectly if I were to get it up to her before she got up. "Mmm. in case she didn't feel like tea. before getting up. is this? This is from Alice. This wasn't my present to her. you got me a present didn't you? Edward I told you not to!" "Bella. "Give me the tray Edward. I placed that on the tray." I said. She would go back to bed and lie there for another half an hour. it's ok. She swallowed at looked up at me suspiciously. and knew that Bella had just gotten up the first time to go to the toilet this morning." I grinned at her.. I looked at the clock.I think I should have birthdays more often if you're going to feed me.I heard movement upstairs. and she had been craving chocolate chip everything.." she said.. I flicked on the kettle. grinning as I watched her devour the chocolate chip pancakes. but I wanted to make her a nice breakfast anyway.82 - . whilst frying the eggs and bacon in another pan on the stove. silently threatening to kill me. realising I only had about 10 minutes to finish this off." I said. looking out the window. eyeing the tray in my hand. "Happy birthday my love. and a splash of milk. "Oh. Bella glared at me. before carefully arranging the bacon and eggs in a smiley face. I opened the door too find Bella sitting up in bed. I began to cook the chocolate chip pancake mix that I had made earlier. I can honestly promise you that I spent no more than $20 on this present. I filled up a glass of orange juice as well as the cup of tea.. and carried it upstairs to her. jokingly. so I knew that she would like this. and putting a dollop of cream on the pancakes. Putting the two teaspoons of sugar in her tea. I was just coming by to check you were up. kissing her nose as I sat. "Oh god. She turned around and smiled at me." . placing the tray on her lap.

Edward told me to sit for a minute. but I still hadn't given Bella her present. and I'd been showered with gifts from Rose. One of me the day that I was born and one of my first day of preschool. Edward. we had finished my birthday dinner of an amazing roast. eyes wide. "Happy birthday. It was low. When Edward returned a few minutes later. as had half the town's people. I started at it. The look on his face gave away that he was about to finally give me this infamous present. The day passed without any hassle or dramas really. Emmett. a few months after Charlotte was born. Bella's POV By 6 pm. he was holding a wrapped present. I was waiting until I could get her to myself for half an hour. I flicked through . "18 years of Isabella Marie Swan" I read the embroidered cover of the leather bound book out loud. and Jasper. I knew that she couldn't stay angry with me when I did this. but quite frankly I had no desire to have my Bella angry on her birthday. "If the wind changes. The day that Edward and I went on our first date. Me as in a ballet costume. but still slightly uneasy. about the size of a text book. your face will stay like that Bella. running through the possibilities of what it could possibly be." He said handing me the present. though. My time overseas.She seemed to be a little bit more ok with me getting a present for her once I told her how little it cost. my only love. Opening the book I saw an array of pictures from my childhood. and eventually. still hadn't given me his present and it was making me more nervous by the second. I was just getting impatient. Today would be perfect if I had anything to say in the matter. but at 8:15. Alice. By 7 pm. I gasped as I saw what was enclosed within the wrapping paper." I narrowed my eyes at him. so I sat behind him and began rubbing her neck. and he'd be right back. we went up to our bedroom. that I was going to need for when Edward and I moved out. My parents had called. and by 8 pm I was ready beat it out of him. Carlisle and Esme had given me a nice dinner set. I carefully removed the wrapping.83 - .

looking down tenderly at my swollen belly. What do you think? Reviews are very much loved. as did I..quickly to the end." "Your mother and father helped. to see a picture of me that was taken 2 days ago.. "I love you Bella." Edward sat down next to me on the bed.84 - . a small box. My heart to race as his opened it. looking deep into my eyes. Edward standing proudly next to me. LOVE! . "Where did you. and pulled out of his pocket. Esme has been taking photos secretly for the past 3 years waiting for this day. his voice shaking slightly. as my wife?" AN – ok. She knew that you would still be here years later." he started. Will you do me the honour of spending your life with me. "I wish to spend my life with you and this child. A MASSIVE SHOUT OUT TO MEILZDOGGG01 – GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR EXAMS. but it just came. by my side. holding me around my shoulders. I can honestly say that I had no intentions of writing that in this chapter. and I think it worked. My mind ran at a thousand miles an hour.

We stayed up extremely late last night. I hadn't planned on proposing to her in that moment. The daylight's fading slowly The time with you is standing still I'm waiting for you only The slightest touch and I feel weak I cannot lie.Breathless AN – thanks to insatiable06 for making this readable. I don't. it was Carlisle's grandmother's engagement ring. and I nearly cried I was that happy. the song is playing in the background! :-) the song is Breathless – The Corrs. Omigosh guys. he'd given it to me the day after he found out Bella was pregnant. yeah. This isn't particularly long.. I had the ring. from you I cannot hide .. A massive CONGRATULATIONS to meilzdoggg01.85 - . and I'm updating again.. I updated less than 24 hours ago. Edward's POV Go on go on Leave me breathless Come on Hey. for passing her maths exam today. I'm on FIRE. but I have put some song lyrics in.. really. via MSN drawing. Thank you to blueeyes31 for the 800th review. I hit 800 reviews last chapter. A massive thank you to EVERYONE who has reviewed so far. teaching her Pythagoras' theorem. but to me it seemed so right. As much as I wish I owned the lyrics.

where she finally rested her eyes. You will know when it is the right time.86 - ." So go on.And I'm losing the will to try Can't hide it. The blue diamond was perfect for my Bella. and then back up at me. down at the ring again. There is no doubt in my mind of that. It was impressive. I'll admit that. Son. come on. She looked absolutely amazingly beautiful in blue. flanked on either side by two round clear diamonds. but I know that she is the girl that you will spend the rest of your life with. leave me breathless Tempt me. can't fight it "I'm not saying to propose to her because she's pregnant. tease me. go on. all set in a thin platinum band. don't leave it Bella's eyes darted back up to me. staring at the ring. go on I looked at Bella to see her eyes wide. I am so proud of you. until I can't deny This loving feeling (loving feeling) Make me long for your kiss Go on. And if there's no tomorrow And all we have is here and now I'm happy just to have you You're all the love I need somehow It's like a dream Although I'm not asleep And I never want to wake up Don't lose it. . It had an oval blue diamond in the centre.

And I can't lie From you I cannot hide And I've lost my will to try Can't hide it. come on.YES! Yes. of course I will.87 - . can't fight it.Bella swallowed nervously. wrapping her arms around my neck. come on.. I took Bella's left hand. It fit perfectly. So go on. so I pushed her away gently. Eventually I remember that I had to put the ring on her finger yet. until I can't deny This loving feeling Make me long for your kiss Go on. and I bit my bottom lip. go on." So go on. until I can't deny This loving feeling.. leave me breathless Tempt me. tease me. make me long for your kiss . go on Yeah.. and slipped the ring gently on. leave me breathless Tempt me. mimicking an action Bella performed on a regular basis. Eventually she opened her mouth a little. I slipped the ring gently out of the box it was encased in. kissing it softly.. "I. tease me. and I hadn't even had to get it fitted. My heart was beating a thousand miles an hour waiting for her to say something. Come on Bella flung herself at me. go on.. grinning from ear to ear..

I wasn't planning to do this today. alarmed. of course" I said. of course they know about this! I asked them both the night that they were here for dinner. how on earth did you manage that?" "Well." "I was with the lot of you the entire night. "Yes. we all had a very quick discussion. but it felt so right. until I knew that it was the right time to ask.. so that was a surprise.. I wasn't expecting Renee to agree though. "Does Alice know yet?" I smirked. With the exception of Charlotte here." I smiled at her gently. humming the song that we had dubbed 'the lullaby' for Charlotte. After a few minutes. "What's wrong Bella?" "Do my parents know about this?" I rolled my eyes.88 - . but where did you get it? It looks like it's from the early 1900's.. leaning in to kiss her swollen belly. . caressing my cheek with her hand.. before continuing. but you know Alice. causing me to look up at her. He told me to wait.the ring is beautiful.. remembering the night as I spoke. you picked the perfect moment.. Carlisle gave it to me a while back. "It was my great grandmother's engagement ring." Bella leaned in and kissed me gently. "Well. Bella stopped humming suddenly."Edward." I said. when you went to get the ultrasound prints off the fridge." Bella paused for a moment. Bella's hand ran through my hair. she knows pretty much everything before we do. Both your mom and dad agreed completely. soon after we told him about the baby. Does Alice know yet? "Probably.

and I will be happy. who looked panicked "Renee? You don't have to decide now if you don't want to. You can ask Bella to marry you.89 - . Of course you have my blessing. Renee pulled me into a hug and whispered in my ear.. End Flashback . x-x Later that night when Renee and Charlie were leaving.Flashback Bella stood up and left the room. I am asking for your blessing. I want to ask Bella to marry me." I heard Bella's footsteps coming back from the kitchen." "I would never ask that. I can not guarantee her answer for you though. Charlie looked gobsmacked and Renee looked simply utterly devastated for a moment. going to get the ultrasounds. stepping back. I would understand entirely. I have to ask you this really quickly. "Charlie. "Yes.. letting Bella hug her mother goodbye. to tell them that the conversation had to end for the moment. but I know that's what I want to do. Edward. I don't know exactly when yet. and smiled quickly at Renee and Charlie. and how happy you make her." Charlie cut me off before I could finish the sentence.." I said softly. Renee." I kissed Renee's cheek." I turned to Renee. "I can see how much you care for my daughter Edward.. Bella is only seventeen after all and. Her answer is her choice entirely. before letting her go. It was now or never. as long as she is. "Thank you. You're a good man. I want to spend my life with her." I sat and waited for them to answer. "It's ok if you say no.

90 - .AN – Ok. I apologise for the short length. but how freaking cute is he? Why is he not real? WHY? I will be doing a podcast in just a little while about this chapter. so drop by and check it out. :-) the link is at the top of my profile! I love reviews! .

October 31st Edward's POV I woke to the sound of someone moaning in what sounded like pain from the bathroom.. "Bella." I took the words that I managed to decipher and placed them together.. I sank down beside her. with a bit more Bella Pregnancy Diary. sitting on the ground. her face crumpled in pain. and I had to fight back a laugh.. I finished Close.. AND going through and betaing chapters 13-22 in one hit. Thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter.. This chapter is just a bit of a light chapter.shower. Thank you for your lovely review. what's wrong?" "Foot. It was just so Bella and it was endearing really. show me your foot. and you have a very busy author.fell." I said. and burst in to see Bella clutching her foot. Put that together with school work. Sorry this took a while to get up. for making this readable. My first instinct was to panic. I looked over it once. and almost flinched when I saw her big toe obviously ... so I went with that and ran to the bathroom.hurts.Halloween and Toes AN – thank you to insatiable06. and started a new fic.. gently remove her hand from its position squeezing the toes.. "You stubbed your foot on the corner of the shower?" She nodded her head once.91 - . "Ok. She's a gem. Award for my favourite review goes to Sapphirepa. and family shit.corner. and welcome to fanfiction..

and then closed again. "You needed something I'm assuming Edward?" he asked. and the two toes next to it already started to swell. Really not helping the image. The bedroom door opened. before turning around and closing the door. "Oh. A few minutes later." I replied quickly.92 - . before opening the door and saying something to Esme. Don't move. and held up a finger.. but there wasn't much Carlisle could do other than set them in the right position and strap them. "how did she manage that?" "Stubbed her toes on the corner of the shower.. Carlisle and Esme having sex. "it is Bella. so she simply nodded her compliance.I think Bella has broken a couple of toes... quirking and eyebrow. He turned back to me and asked. "With enough force to break a toe?" I shrugged my shoulders. though.. I turned to see Carlisle in a pair of pajama pants and his top on inside out. The big toe is obviously broken. It did mean. that I couldn't . and burst into Carlisle and Esme's room." Bella had her jaw clenched in pain." Carlisle rolled his eyes. Bella's POV Two of my toes were broken. I still hadn't moved from my spot in the hallway. EW EW EW. but the other two might be as well. She's done worse. "Ok. taken in the most disturbing sight I had ever witnessed. holy crap!" I almost screamed. with my head against the wall. I got up and ran down up the stairs. obviously annoyed that I had just interrupted.. "er. I nodded... I'm going to go wake up Carlisle and get him to have a look." Carlisle smirked and nodded.yeah.broken. trying desperately to get the image out of my head. telling me to wait a moment. stay here.

" Edward said." Stupid over protective family. but now they were even closer than before. . The only thing you were looking forward to was making pumpkin soup. "You should be grateful. Bella. than I may have been 5 months ago. I am getting really quite sick of being pregnant. Edward left me in the bedroom for half an hour while he went to help get breakfast ready. It was good. Bella's Pregnancy Diary I broke two of my toes today.93 - . and I had shot him a glare when he asked Carlisle if we should leave it for a little longer than two days. "What if I wanted to help? I was looking forward to it!" Edward smirked at me. I am really looking forward to being a mom now. with baby stuff to talk about twenty-four hours a day. He and Esme were spending more and more time together lately. But I wish people would stop treating me like an invalid. I am not as upset by these now though. By not being able to walk you get out of helping Alice and Rosalie set up for the party. I love this baby already. so I sat on my hands. They had always been close. "No you weren't. just in case. I do not need to the swelling of broken toes to add to that. and I felt an urge to hit him. and the stretch marks are probably the most difficult thing for me to deal with. and I haven't even seen her. My feet are swollen at the best of times. and now I'm confined to the bed unless I want Edward or Carlisle to help me around the house. It's Halloween. but I'm still alive aren't I? I am in the 3rd trimester now. No broken noses today.walk on them for two days while they started to heal. Don't get me wrong. grinning at me. and you can still do that. I was now seven months pregnant. Everyone is a thousand times more protective of me then they had been before. I have always been clumsy. Edward seemed a little bit too pleased about this. with my help. and effectively immobile.

smiling as he walked in. Anything new to report to me?" I smiled at him as he sat down next to me." AN – Ok. I shut the diary quickly as Edward came in.better.Charlotte has been more active lately. "What are you doing?" he said. and I kissed him gently. next chapter: Edward's surprise. God knows. She likes to kick my bladder at times of the night that should not be made aware to mankind. pulling him toward me by his shirt. Oh. I suppose it makes her feel safer. that just kept getting smaller.. She stops kicking when I sing the lullaby to her though. and before you tell me I'm not allowed to buy you anything. I held up the diary and showed him.. ." I said softly. "Happy Halloween.. It's almost as if she knows it's me." He grinned back at me.it can't be that much fun in there. "Nothing you don't already know. It has the opposite affect if she's being still too. Edward. and it calms her.94 - . I have a surprise for you later.. do you want to see more of Bella's Pregnancy Diary? There will also be some of Edward's diary soon. "Happy Halloween to you too. "Ah. I'd get bored if I was in a tight space for nine months. I didn't. Bella.

but I want to give this to Bella. Edward's Pregnancy Diary Sine this morning. to start with. I don't think Bella would read it anyway. Well. It's short.. She'll have no idea what hit her really. and Charlotte. I feel stupid writing about it in a diary. That'd be Alice. so please forgive me. Well I hope not. Thank you for your amazingly long. no such luck. and I hope you like it. On with the chapter. She might be right. and ate 4 bowls of it. It made my day/evening. in case I accidentally leave this around somewhere. There was a lot of pumpkin soup. Thank you to Just a Bella for my 900th review.. She thinks I'm being overprotective. Unless Alice has accidentally said something. and pumpkin soup. Bella would have confronted me about it. I'm rambling.Sour Lolly Worms and Chicken Stock AN – ok. I guess I should write a bit about my 'feelings' so far. Bella love pumpkin soup. I'm so close to 1000 it's mind boggling. It is full of awesome content though. massive writer's block just after I posted the last chapter. I tried writing chapters for my other stories to get rid of it. I'm sure if she had. wanting her to lie down. I have her suprise to give her. I don't want to write it in here. In the end I chose dreamngo4it9. The best review for the last chapter was amazingly difficult to pick. 18 pumpkin head lanterns. It's finally lifted a little to get this chapter to you. What if she falls over? She could really hurt herself. and relax. Mind you. I don't mind. the rest of the day passed in a flurry of Halloween decorations. Now imagine how much soup there was. There were 5 in the end that I had to choose out of. when . I read it and couldn't quite wrap my head around how much you like this story. but I just don't want her to hurt herself again.95 - . sorry this took so long. and complimenting review.

I can't believe it really. and one just flew into the open pot on the stove. I went to fish it out with a ladle." I dipped another sour lolly into the stock. We haven't decided on a date yet. that I won't be good enough. to find Bella trying to throw sour lolly worms at Alice. to be completely honest with you. . and held it out to Alice. but I do get nervous.. who looked disgusted. I walked to the kitchen. and Bella. She looked like she was about to vomit. leave her alone. I will protect her with my life. I'm fucking terrified. I am going to be marrying the love of my life. I don't want to be away from her when that happens." I heard Jasper's voice come from the doorway. and popped it into my mouth.96 - . Edward! That was chicken stock!" I grinned at Alice. being away for too long. I took one look at myself in the mirror. when she's old enough. She was missing terribly. I haven't written in here since before then. making sure that the tears I had been crying left no physical evidence. But what if I'm not good enough? What if Bella sees that I'm not good enough? It's pathetic isn't it? Being scared after all these years with her. "Yeah. And then maybe Charlotte can read it. who looked intrigued. Edward's POV I closed the diary. "Aw what's the matter shrimp?" "Edward. I can tell you that much. There is nothing I want more in this world now than to be with these too. "Want some?" I asked. grinning. but she could technically go into labour. Standing up. Bella is in the kitchen with Alice. She's sitting down.Charlotte is born. Bella agreed to marry me. "Ew.. I should go anyway. I know it's unlikely. Charlotte is going to be my responsibility. But it will be after the birth. And it's yummy. and slid it into the open drawer of my bedside table. so I doubt much could happen. I love her and Charlotte with my whole heart.

Her eyes opened wide as she chewed. as she tried to decipher what the first page was telling her. I hope you all liked it. "Edward. I was sitting in front of her. I'd like to ask you to all go read melonjane's stories. looking at her nervously. remember. Aim for this chapter is to get to 950. and I watched her face carefully as she slowly flipped through the papers inside. So please go read them when you have time :D Ok. "WOW! That is really good!" I grinned at her. Reviews are LOVED. I don't know why she doesn't have more reviews on her stories. because Alice and Jasper were looking at us. and Bella opened her mouth. "Open" I commanded. I poked my tongue out at Alice and walked over to Bella. when she got to the third. motioning to the folder. intrigued."I'll eat it! It looks yummy!" Bella said from her spot at the table.:O HE WHAT NOW? Ok. x-x Bella and I were sitting alone in the bedroom. what is that?" she asked.97 - . and then her mouth dropped. . I handed it to her. waiting for dinner to be ready. Perhaps we were having pregnancy cravings together or something. Her eyes narrowed. disgustedly. aiming for 950. They widened again as she got to the second page. and so much more imaginative. biting my lips. she's a heap better than me. with a folder in my hands. "You bought a house?" AN . She opened it. She had just woken up from a nap. You know what. and was looking at me.

I am sorry if they're not long enough for you. but from anger. I'll just tell you here too.. Thank you so much :D On with the chapter. If I tried to make these longer than they come out to be. . How could he do this? I hate having money spent on me and he KNOWS that. And yes. but no one was spot on Jasper wasn't yelling. Bella's reaction to the house is a mix of what you all predicted. This amount of money was just absurd. they're both actually somewhat amazingly delicious. not from embarrassment. You should all try it sometime.Worried AN – ok. technically you bought a house. as if I hadn't nearly gone into premature labour the first time. technically Carlisle and Esme bought a house. Edward. In the end though. minus the bits that make little to no sense. they would never get out.98 - . There are a few things that will be covered in the podcast. I'm sure my face was bright red. your review was not only long. Bella's POV "Well. Thank you. I dare myself to glance at the figure that was staring me in the face.. Lolly worms = gummy worms and chicken stock = broth. but informative. He was just telling Edward to leave Alice alone. OK. but I did have insane writers block. but I'm trying. I chose to give it to ar080185. terribly difficult to choose. and funny. beginning me to look." "No. with them backing you because you're under eighteen. best review for last chapter was. What I publish is what I write. I am sorry. because he was teasing her. again." He answered me using a technicality and I was ready to kill him.

but how could he be so irresponsible? "Bella. from what I could see. It had 2 chimneys. nodding. and my anger was fast melting away as I looked over the pictures of the interior. I wasn't one for interior design. "Well what on earth are you going to do about college now then?" I was nearly screaming at him. I had enough to go to Dartmouth three times over. any way you looked. and Charlotte. "It's for the three of us. with climbers up the front.. framing the windows and door. looking for one of pictures."Edward this is half a million dollars! Where did you GET the money FROM?" Edward looked down sheepishly. Look at the pictures.. . The cottage wasn't huge. It was a wooden cottage.99 - . I could tell he was trying to hold back a smile.. don't hate me for this. And surrounding it." My mouth fell. When I found it. pining over for months." I flicked through the papers again.. "It's not just a house Bella. for hundreds. "You bought THIS house?" Edward bit his lip. of yards. I'm staying with you. me.. Bella. was bright green soft grass. "College funds. This was the house that I had been looking at. my breathing stopped. but I couldn't help but admire the polished hardwood floors in the dining room.." "You're giving up your dream of Dartmouth? For a house?" Edward shook his head. fluffy carpet in the bedrooms. There were 5 bedrooms." He pleaded with me. I had wanted it the moment I saw it and now Edward had bought it. Please. and going to university in Washington. but it was perfect. You. I could see the woods in the background. and the soft.

Her lungs would be underdeveloped. 15th of November Edward's POV "Hey Carlisle. not wanting to admit to him that I wasn't actually angry at all anymore. and having them to teach us a thing or two is going to be the biggest help I could possibly ask for." I stood in the doorway of the bedroom. I couldn't possibly be angry with him anymore. again. She and the baby would probably stay for a few days longer than they would normally" I nodded. After 8 months. he remembered what I had loved." I leaned in and kissed Edward gently. A wide grin spread over his face. it wouldn't be fantastic. Bella was out with her father. she's about seven and a half months at the moment... I was still worried.. Bella and the baby would be fine. However.. "I was just wondering what would happen if Bella went into labour early. before moving out on our own. he took into account what I had wanted. Both of . who was flustered about something to do with Christmas. provided we got to the hospital. everything would most likely be ok." I whispered. "It's not going to be ready to move into for another few months.. So that gives us time to adjust to being parents.100 - ." Carlisle looked thoughtful for a moment. Even though it wasn't for another month and 10 days. And he still understands that this is going to be hard. Probably about 5. He wanted to get a place that was perfect for all three of us.. So being around Esme and Carlisle. and I was nervous being away from her. I know." Carlisle placed a hand on my shoulder "she's going to be fine. watching Carlisle run after Esme. the baby would be in hospital for a while.. but I guess I've been worrying about it a bit. for one. "Well.. Hell. for the first time in months. What if something happened today? "Edward."I don't hate you. it's not likely. So if she did today. If we got her to hospital quickly. for both of us. before walking into the bedroom with me.

He isn't an imbecile.them will be. It isn't good. it's short. or for Bella. For you. and a heap of school work to do.101 - . I know. So please forgive me? *puppy dog eyes* I am so close to 1000 reviews. Don't hate me PLEASE. He will take her to a hospital. and call us. Do you think we can get there? :) Love xx . given that I have writers block. Even if she did." AN – that was chapter 20. You need to stop worrying. And I doubt that she will go into labour today. she is only at Charlie's. I'm getting these out as quickly and as well written as I can. and again. She can look after herself.

Between ar080185 and XXXbloodyXheartXXX. but that just didn't seem like it. and still be set to graduate at the top of the class. Bella's POV December 1st For the first time in a while. for the most part. I felt an arm link through mine. that meant both her parents getting through high school. your reviews made me *squee*. And I was jealous. I stepped out of Edward's Volvo to stare at the school. so thank you :D to pick my favourite review from last chapter was really hard. Here I am. Nearly half way through the year. CullenGirl30. ready to walk into the school. Back to my original point though. Please review at the end. I was still around a B for biology. Here is chapter 21. He could take weeks at a time off.102 - . It was just like every other semester I had been through. They really do make me pretty damned happy. It had been difficult. and I looked to my side to see Alice grinning at me. I had. you were review number 1000. with permission from the very willing principal.Hot Chocolate and Coffee AN – thank you to so many people for getting me to 1000 reviews. You have no idea how awesome that made me feel. And I realise there was the obvious possible reason. been doing my school work at home. It was like there was something else. Thank you guys. so we could support her without the money that Carlisle and Esme would willingly give to us. being away from Edward during the weeks when he went to school. All that mattered to me at the moment was making sure Charlotte would be ok in life. I had to come to school for the next two weeks. Something about being here felt bad. but everything else I was just on a C. This chapter is double the length of most of the others as a thank you. We were heading into final exams. . I hope you like it. But something about this seemed so different. And to me. and took Edward's hand. and only just scraping passes in most of my classes. walking toward the doors. heavily pregnant. It is tied. I pushed aside that feeling though.

And then started laughing hard. Anyone who hadn't been told differently would assume that Alice and Rosalie actually lived with the Cullen's. my body working in overdrive."Hey stranger." I raised my eyebrows at Alice. People always talk about laughing so hard you cry. before brushing his thumb over my cheek where tears were starting to leave trails. trying to hold back a smile." She grinned. my Bella. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip. Edward moaned. I saw you yesterday. We stopped. I snaked my hand through his hair. but it only happened to me once before. when we heard someone behind Edward clearing their throat loudly. I'm only trying to do my duty as Aunty Alice by buying her everything I possibly can before she's born. . and it was now a battle to see who could hold off the inevitable laugh first. it's unattractive. Be good please. pressing my lips harder to his. "Don't sulk Bella.103 - . I held back for as long as I could. "Bella. "you're the one who decided to sleep at your own home last night" I pretended to be upset at Alice's decision to actually spend time with her parents. "Says she who throws a tantrum if she doesn't get to go shopping for the little one here" I said. ready to make the dive in. We didn't stop laughing until I realised that Edward had let go of my hand. and she let go of my arm to clutch her ribs as she laughed. They were there 95% of the time. before sucking it into my mouth. Charlotte needs the best. nodded my head towards my stomach. and kissed me. Long time no see. He just looked so serious. Alice pouted at me. his hand starting to caress my side. trying to remain serious. and his mouth opened automatically. That was an understandable mistake to make." The sides of her lips twitched. "Alice." I shuddered at the memory. but the expression on his face sent me into laughter again. Edward smiled a bit. I looked at her. before saying "you'll be ok with Alice from here?" I nodded my head " I'll see you in class then. when I made the horrible mistake of not knocking on Jasper's door. I tried to straighten my face as I turned to look at him." He leaned in. but Alice laughing sent me into a fit of laughter as well. I had forgotten about where we were and who was around us. and my hands flew to the top of his pants. biting it gently. and careful. He rolled his eyes.

Rosalie. "I'll see you in class." I gave him a chaste kiss. It was probably for the best though. I glared at his retreating form. There stood Emmett." I almost spat at her. while moving me in front of him quickly. Bella. You just had to get over your coffee addiction first. turning around.. and I was prepared to sit here all day having Edward's hands work wonders on my legs as my mind wandered to better. already walking toward the building where I had home room. and took a long sip. I had my legs draped over Edward's and he was massaging my calves. before turning to Edward again. And a cup each in front of everyone. Edward and I on the other hand had already got all our assignments out of the way. now it was just exams.. Edward. The massaging felt damned good. to hide the bulge that was now more than obvious through his jeans. "Bella. I did not need to see you try to get your hands in Edward's pants this early in the morning. If ever for that matter. places. "Sorry" I murmured. x-x It was lunch time. shuddering for the added effect. well in about 3 hours. you and Emmett disturb us on a regular basis. with a grin. The doctor had said this might help relieved some of the swelling that was making my feet the size of footballs. and we were all sitting around the one table. If you gave it a chance. but I still wasn't thrilled we'd been interrupted. looking stunned. who was looking disturbed. I didn't mean to sound so angry. who had given it up with me. "I love you" "I love you too. it could wake you up just as much as coffee. and I wasn't about to complain. but my hormones were in overdrive. except Edward. and Rosalie. Try not to kill anyone ok?" he said. I looked around the table to see 3 empty cups in front of Alice. I was horny." she said. I picked up my hot chocolate. but had found a whole new appreciation of hot chocolate and marshmallows. . I missed coffee so much. but also almost proud. You aren't one to be talking. give that we were standing just outside the school. and she'd just interrupted my first real contact with Edward in. moving before I could hit him. dirtier.Ok. with people starting to gather in the car park we were all standing in. That was harder to do when everyone around you drank coffee by the vat. Everyone was slaving over various pieces of paper in front of them.104 - .Edward quickly pulled away. "Come on Bella!" Alice said. "Oh please. That explains the advanced state of hyper she's in.

. It says we're getting a revision sheet today. I had long gotten over my insecurities about being naked in front of Edward. He looked over it for a moment before frowning. but even so. x-x I woke up to the annoying ringing from my cell phone. and shallow before I lowered myself onto him. but pulled out the outline for this class.tonight?" I nodded at him. I ripped my shirt over the top of my head and through it somewhere behind me. even with my insanely huge belly.. before letting it out as a long pleasured moan as I moved up and down on him. "yeah. His breathing was ragged.. "Do we have to go to math?" Edward smirked. and I was gently kissing Edward's neck. maybe I was still a little insecure. He sat up slightly agains the headboard... ready to kill someone. "Alice.."Hey. and it made me feel more beautiful that I ever had. One of Edward's hand softly and absently mindedly stroked the flesh of my belly. and barely made it into the bedroom before I had him pinned beneath me on the bed. Apparently his mind had been elsewhere also. He looked at me disappointedly. and I positioned myself on top of him. and answered. what the hell do you want?" . he sucked in a sharp breath and held it. and a practise exam to take home and look over. Reaching over to the bedside table. I groaned. It wasn't long before all clothes were discarded." "Mmm.damn. x-x Edward and I got home later that afternoon. I looked at the caller ID. Ok. fast..105 - .. When I did. while the other massaged my breast. Edward." His head turned toward me slowly. This was the most comfortable position we had found. He all but worshiped my body. looking at me with lust filled eyes. before returning my thoughts to Edward making love to me. with the dark line down the center." "Oh.

"Mmm." Esme turned to Rosalie. Why are you on my bed?" he asked. That smells amazing. and Esme scold him like her was a toddler. grinning.. Esme told me to tell you dinner is ready. That explains my bladder killing me. I saw that it was nearly 7pm." I said.. "Rosalie." "Alice. and yet it was still amusing to watch Emmett sulk like a child denied his favourite toy. and hit the hang up button.. as she smacked Emmett's hand away from the two chickens sitting on the counter top.. This happened every dinner time. You and Edward were. Alice. "It's Bella's bed too."Oh so cheery.. .earlier. to which Alice simply poked out her tongue at him. Glancing at the clock. Anyway. 21st December "You have no idea how glad I am the semester is finally over!" Alice flopped down on the bed next to me. Esme. And she doesn't mind.106 - ." I rolled my eyes. and lifted myself carefully off the bed. Edward. "Yes I do.loud. and saw Esme just starting to serve up. do you Bella?" she looked toward me. as Edward gave her an incredulous look.. It was funny." "So you called me?" "I didn't know if you were decent or not. I untangled myself from Edward's arms. Edward and I made our way to the kitchen 10 minutes later the smell of roast chicken. Bella. almost pleading with her. what do you want?" "It's a tiny bit physically impossible for you to kill me at this very moment. can you get Emmett out of here please? Before he eats all the food. Apparently she had had the forethought to give us and early warning.before I kill you.

" I looked at Edward... Edward brought me up a warm cup of tea. I slid into the covers.. I was probably just standing up for a bit. and dismissed it. and got myself comfortable. and pulled back the covers for me to get in. but obviously he decided not to risk it. Bella. I had left school around midday. My back just hurts a bit.Way to put me on the spot. and sat down next to me. continuing with the washing. and worry struck across Edward's face.Alice is likely to annoy me more if I don't agree.. He probably saw the internal battle going on.. To side with Edward. Just a few seconds later. silently apologised. I stood up. "Not really. I'll be back in a minute." Alice jumped up off the bed where she'd made herself comfortable.Alice it is. Who would've thought I could go through so much clothing? Edward had tried to get me to sit down while he folded it.. and winced. and knew exactly where my answer was coming from. It happened again about fifteen minutes later.. I'm getting Carlisle. Bella?" "Yeah. or to side with Alice? Well. I made a mental note to never leave the washing for two weeks ever again. I'm fairly sure that he wasn't sure if I would go through with it or not. "Bella? What's wrong?" "It's nothing. I couldn't be..could I? Carlisle and Edward came up the stairs and into the room. and I narrowed my eyes a little. it relaxed. like I was getting my period. relaxing as the pain started to subside again. after my last exam..... the sides of his lips twitching. Where are you getting the pains?" . but gave up pretty soon after I threatened to stab him to death if he didn't stop worrying so damned much about me. and had settled for putting it away as I folded. "Bella. "Are you sure you're ok. and continued folding the washing that I had been doing all afternoon." I winced again as another pain came. "Ok. Don't move. please?" I nodded at him. He nodded. All of a sudden I felt an ache in my back and abdomen. I think I'll lie down for a bit.107 - . I shook my head. Edward.

He narrowed his eyes at me. I am super nervous about this chapter. and motioned around my abdomen "there" and moved my hands to my back. I did just leave it there. you might be going into labour.I sat up in the bed. "What do they feel like?" "Um. "and also about there on my back." I looked up at Carlisle...I guess kind of like an ache? Like I'm getting my period. I'm not sure how I did.108 - .. and bit my lip nervously. and tell me what you think? .." AN – Yes.. I think we should go to the hospital. so please review." "Bella..

Bella. Please read this AN first? A massive thank you to all the wonderful ideas from the mothers out there. I know how to get in a car!" Carlisle smirked as he opened the driver's side door. more. it's not the size of a basketball." .. "yes. that would mean a lot to me :D Best review for the last chapter goes to: XOXOgossipgirl21. You're going to make sure they give me an epidural right? I don't want to be pushed a basketball through a golf hole with no pain relief" Carlisle burst into laughter this time.. can you get in the car yourself?" I immediately regretted my words. If you could go read her story "Sewing the Wounds" after this. I could feel her fist hit my chest before I saw her start moving. and gave me an awesome idea to use.. "Sorry. do you have the birth plan?" "Yeah.Glue Stick? AN – ok. just get in the car. but a contraction hit Bella the moment we got down stairs. On with the chapter.109 - .. I cringed as she hit me. really Bella. apparently unable to contain his amusement. a massive thank you to the(dot)lamb(dot)loves(dot)the(dot)lion." Carlisle stopped suddenly when her realised that Bella was shooting him a look to shut even the bravest man up pretty damned quickly.. here is the chapter." "I'm not a fucking 3 year old. Apparently they were starting to hurt more. just because your review made me *squee* with happiness. Edward. Also. who helped me through a writers block. "Edward. I'll make sure you get an epidural if there's time. "Well.. I knew that I worried too much. Edward's POV "Bella. Reviews at the end make me ecstatic. Your help was priceless. Bella.

Bella. and if you are.. When would you like that?" Fuck I don't know. He kept looking around the room. and went with "I'm not sure. I could tell what she was thinking. don't worry". I'll just fix this around your stomach. It isn't really hurting at the moment.. how .. before brushing a bit of hair out of my face. as he placed my chart on the table next to the bed "I'm going to have a look. Maybe when it's hurting like a bitch? I decided against that answer.. I'm fairly sure that he was more nervous that I was. I was fucking terrified. and lent in. Bella" my doctor said from beside me. No.not yet." I bit my lip and nodded. Come on. kissing my temple lightly. that's a lie... Bella rolled her eyes at me as I bit my lip. Let's get me to the hospital. and also let us know when you're having contractions" "Ok. x-x Bella's POV "Ok."If there's t. As sorry as I felt for him though. His hand was shaking. "Ok. I felt sorry for him. Charlotte might be a bit small. Something along the lines of. "it will be. the contractions are uncomfortable. inspecting everything that he saw. and they very easily could have miscalculated the date. I was three weeks early. luckily) had told me that they weren't going to try to stop the labour. and it was true.. before Edward freaks out" Bella glanced over to me. to see if you're dilated. If you'd like to sit on the bed.110 - . I was pretty sure I wasn't going to be wanting his worrying in a couple of hours. and free. As if they were going to provide us with faulty equipment. I'd heard stories about horrible things that had happened because they didn't get to the hospital in time. but three weeks wasn't too early. "Bella. I was scared. it says on your birth plan that you'd like an epidural. and hurt a little. It will monitor the heartbeat of the baby. Carlisle. I mean. and my OB-GYN (who was already at the hospital.oh never mind. I was anxious to get to the hospital.. Edward gave my hand an encouraging squeeze. But I wouldn't call it anywhere near unbearable" The nurse just smiled.

and giving Edward an encouraging pat on the back." I looked up. whispered "I love you. deep breaths. It was clear to anyone in the room that nothing was going to get Edward to leave my side. I wanted to choke him to death with that catheter. and Edward all but glared at him. and they still hadn't given it to me." He walked toward the door.. before closing the door quickly behind him." He looked around the room at Carlisle. instead I mouthed the words "I love you too" x-x "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! FUCK! Give me the fucking epidural NOW!" This had been going on for an hour now. smiling meekly at me. "Um. Just like a pap smear" I did as he said. ankles together. "I'm not going anywhere" he said." the doctor said. I'll be going outside for that. I was ready to kill someone. and he lifted the sheet from my legs. "Ok." I could see tears starting to form. I didn't speak. Bella. There was a new doctor. Just as I screamed that though. . and stared at Edward. And try to relax. menacingly. Edward looked uncomfortable watching him. I need you to lie back. we're going to take you up to the delivery room ok?" "You're going to MOVE me?" I could have sworn that the doctor fucking smiled. focus on one point. they door swung open. and just let your knees fall apart. I looked up at him and smiled. so much. "Ok.far you are. and someone walked in. setting up something on the table. The doctor looked at Edward. Now that I wasn't in quite so much pain. If it helps. Bella.. surrendering "Bella.111 - . "Ok. who suddenly looked like a dear in headlights. After we give you this. I could look around to see what was happening. He looked down at me.

" All of a sudden a pain worse than anything I had felt. You know that."Don't worry. "Ow. "OUT! Get out!" His face fell pretty quickly then. what the fuck are you doing?" I screamed at the doctor. and he looked down at me. . now he's going to cry. he had to make a comment like that? "Oh. But he really didn't want to. It might hurt. how about you have a needle stuck into your SPINE! While you're at it. "Mmhmm. "Was it that bad?" I snapped then.. toward the young man there. I'm not leaving. "No.. we'll wheel you there on the bed. and turned away from him. You don't have to move." I huffed. "It's in now. "Bella. I just shook my head. As if it wasn't enough to be pushing this thing out for him. but I need you to stay as still as possible" Can't hurt anywhere near as much as my uterus trying to squeeze out a fucking baby. He knew he'd leave if I told him too again. I hoped that I had another few minutes before the next contraction." he didn't sound convinced though. into your spine. including the contractions.. I'm going to insert this catheter. why don't you push a baby out of a whole the size of a fucking GLUE STICK!" "Glue stick?" Now he was smiling. can you roll on your side. ripped through my body. Fuck me. via a needle. and looked away from him. You'll be numb in a few minutes.." Edward quirked an eyebrow at me.112 - .

113 - . and that it would be ok. standing up. This baby was Charlotte. It took me a moment to realise that this baby was mine. at first." I give one more push. and it was a couple of moments before I realised that it came from me. stroking my hair out of my face. I couldn't hold Edward's hand anymore. with a baby in her arms. Now it was the only thing keeping me from giving up and stoping entirely. I'm crying. and cherished. and I could feel Edward's tears against my neck. "Ok. tears running down my face. replacing my agonized screams. A sob escaped my chest. Reviews are appreciated. Push. It had been encouraging. I fell back onto Edward. I was drained. Instead he was sitting behind me. Bella. More than appreciated. The fucking epidural was doing shit all. we can see the head now. and I'm pretty sure something was about to tear down there. You have a daughter" the midwife beamed up at me. What did you think? Did I do it justice? . I'm so pathetic. with what little strength I had left. There was nothing left in me. The pain was still excruciating. I'd been "pushing" for the past what felt like hours. "Congratulations. Bella. Edward.x-x An ear-splitting scream filled the room. Loved. AN – oh my gosh. I felt another contraction come over me. Ours. whisper that he loved me. and suddenly a loud cry filled the room. and they kept telling me that it was just going to be a couple more. I didn't think I had the energy left to scream.

To all those worried that I was going to end it there. when I opened it. They stopped when the door opened. Bella had just fallen asleep too. My baby girl. so assessment was due. Who would've thought that getting desperately lost could be so much fun? Favourite review for last chapter goes to: DustiJits. and her tiny little nose. was healthy. "Edward. and I started babbling about how beautiful she was. and our child. that looked like it might have soft curls. and I love a challenge! Don't forget. I still have AT LEAST another five chapters up my pretty little sleeve. Keep up the good work people. It was time to go see the family. and turned to look at me. She was a bit small. I loves them. Sure enough. but fully developed. That was what made me happiest. The love of my life. Meilzdoggg01. review at the end. After a few minutes more minutes. Her eyes were still a dark blue. so show me the love. and wrapped her tightly in material so thin I was amazed it kept her warm. Amazed by how beautiful the sight was. Alice was probably bouncing up and down right outside the door. Sorry this took so long to get up. Then I got to spend an amazing evening with one of fanfiction dot net's amazing writers. I'm glad you all liked it so much. She was sleeping in a plastic crib next to Bella's bed. slow down!" Alice was standing with her hands on her hips. there was Alice. but looked like that might change to brown. I tore myself away from Bella. I was lying next to Bella on the bed. Thank you for your amazing review. it's getting harder to choose my favourite.114 - . . Edward's POV They cleaned my baby girl off.Sleep AN – thank you to everyone who read and reviewed the last chapter. standing right outside the door. apparently in the middle of a whispered argument. eyebrows raised. with Rosalie. OUR baby girl. And healthy. I had the final week of term. don't worry. facing toward Charlotte. A grin took over my face. and soft bronzy brown hair.

115 - .be quiet. He looked so hopeful. . and I liked it too.. Charlie is getting her. Um. and started crying... before letting go and stepping back. holding Charlotte. I like it though. I don't really want to fall asleep just yet. sitting up. "Renee's plane just landed. Besides." I smiled at my father. and bit her lip. Esme walked over to the bed. It was scrunched up. and pulled me into a tight embrace. "Alice. "What do you think she wants?" Bella shrugged her shoulders. and she looked like she was about to cry about something.. Not crying. The nurses had said someone would come in to talk us through it soon. But we don't know any names that are a mix of Renee and Esme."Oh. did you come up with a middle name yet?" "Not yet." We stepped into the room to see Bella awake. no she didn't wake me up" Bella rolled her eyes at me "Charlotte woke up" "Oh.. narrowing my eyes toward Alice. sorry. Bella and Charlotte are asleep" I said. "So.." "You know that Renee and Esme have the same middle name? Anne. who poked her tongue out before all but skipping into the room." I walked over and sat next to Bella and looked down at the face of Charlotte. It was terrifying. Just. I had no idea what to do. We want to make it special." "She was just fussing...how is she?" "You can come in if you want. "I'll talk to Bella about it. They'll be here in about an hour. I didn't hear her. is Charlie here yet? And is Renee on her way?" Carlisle walked up to me. did you wake her up?" "Edward.

Then Esme held her. "How are you doing. "Ok. just try rocking her. and Charlotte quieted her cries to small whimpers.. ok? I love you. Bella?" Bella beamed at Alice. with his chin on her shoulder.. "Would I?" Esme softly lifted Charlotte from Bella's arms. She bit her lip. Bella. and you'll be fantastic. Charlotte woke again as she was handed from Esme to Bella. Alice sat down on the side of Bella's bed. and I could have sworn she was about to cry."Oh. careful of the IV drip that was in there. A bit sore. Remember. Esme has had three boys. She's more beautiful than I could have imagined.. and I immediately started panicking. Bella. I'm scared though. given her current excessively hyperactive state." "Here. and scrunched her face up. Talk to her. I promise. Bella. . and Carlisle walked over to Esme. a lot more gently than I would have expected. It's going to be ok.. and I couldn't figure out how to quiet her..116 - . She's quiet and nearly asleep again. and look. looking up at Esme. Bella. obviously. who was furiously trying to wipe away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks. and hold her close to you. here. and Bella look terrified again. Charlotte let out a cry. not wanting everyone else to hear. Try holding her again.. smiling and handing Charlotte back to Bella. "Hey.. "Fantastically. He whispered something in her ear. Dehydration was a problem after child birth apparently. so they'd fixed up a saline drip for a couple of hours. Bella's tears spilled over. She knows how to handle babies. Trust me. even brighter than before. Bella looked nervous. I promise you'll be great" Esme said. and Esme's face lit up. very gently. You'll learn quickly. But I can't believe I finally have our daughter." Alice gave Bella's hand a small squeeze. standing behind her." Bella did just as she was told.. she was fussing before." I whispered in her ear. "You'll be fine. she's beautiful!" "Did you want to hold her?" Bella asked.

and walking quietly out of the room. giving Bella a quick gentle kiss on the forehead. I wanted Bella to spend today relaxing. now that Charlotte was home. and sighed. Bella was discharged early Christmas Eve. She could feed Charlotte when it was time.. It was a rare occurance. AN – oh shit ayye? So what's wrong with Bella? Theories people. but I could see it. And I was resolved to make sure that Bella knew I was here for her. and then she was to go back to sleep. I understood why she cried. but it was undeniable that Bella and Charlotte did." I spoke my daughters name softly.. The rocking chair was quickly becoming the most used piece of furniture in the house.117 - .."Bella. careful not to wake her again. Nothing's wrong. I went and sat in the nursery. "Charlotte Anne Cullen. they are loved in the reviews. awake.. I thanked my lucky stars that she had agreed. Now I lay in bed. I heard a small whimper from the crib next to me. picking up Charlotte. and was terrified to hold Charlotte. and I rocked my daughter softly. She wouldn't admit that she was upset. Bella had been crying so much of the time. I still could not understand how two women held my heart completely. getting what rest she could.. I would look after it.I did it! She's not crying!" ~*~o~*~ Bella spent the next two days learning to feed Charlotte. I was worried though. I had told Bella that I would wake her up after two hours sleep. . in case she didn't wake up when Charlotte cried out. watching Bella sleep. so long as I woke her up when Charlotte needed feeding. Finally. and I could see it wearing her down. what's wrong?" "Nothing. She was the most beautiful creature to grace this planet. The rain fell gently on the window. and if Charlotte cried in the mean time. and I spent the next two days spending as much time as I could at the hospital. to satisfy both Bella's and my fears that something would go wrong. Just. I convinced her to let worry about that. A stark contrast from when she was awake and knew no way of communicating other than crying. We had moved the crib into our room for the first few weeks. Bella was scared to sleep. and we spent the day setting up Charlotte in her new crib.. She looked peaceful. before walking to the crib.

118 - .Love you all for your amazing support :) support = chapters = support. It's like one big circle :D .

I sighed. I've been a busy bee. I hope to see you over there! AN – hey everyone. I had heard Edward leave just minutes ago with Charlotte. but I knew Edward saw through it. and lifted my shirt. a human. but there I will be providing teasers. it is still safe in A LOT of cases to breastfeed. You must be over 18. There under all the loose skin were stretch marks to rival anything you'd .119 - . and me hanging out with her when we could. and she looked so damned fragile that it scared me. and I was immediately terrified. and while SSRI antidepressants may pass through breast milk. and chatting to readers about this story. trying desperately to sleep. You are still capable. Sorry this took a couple days to get out. and lifted myself to my feet. I swung my legs over the side of the bed. down visiting her Nanna. I lay restlessly in my bed. just cos it was funny as hell. Favourite review for last chapter goes to Meilzdoggg01. with my lovely best friend. Women out the need to know that having PPD does not mean you HAVE to do less as a mother. She was real. frustrated that sleep wouldn't come. and my internet is reasonably determined to die every time I go to load this. and I hope I live up to your expectations in this chapter. I couldn't explain my fears. Thank you all for your theories. on Twilighted. I didn't want to be a bad mother. including love. VERY IMPORTANT NOTE In most cases PPD does not preclude women from breastfeeding. I tried to hold my head high in front of everyone. and every mother is amazing.Photo Albums TWILIGHTED FORUM – there is a link at the top of my profile to go to the forums. But that was just it. being away from her. I stood in front of the full length mirror. I was fucking terrified and I loved my baby girl. she was tangible. and other Twilight related stuff! Check it out. I was terrified. and loving. I didn't know what to do. Meilz. but the moment I saw her for the first time I realised that she really was a baby. They were more irrational than anything I had felt before. I spent hours crying for no reason.

"What you got there. I suppose that it wasn't an easy labour. "Bella. in gold letters. I hadn't realised just how much weight I had put on during pregnancy. Would you like to see?" I nodded. and in walked Esme. but now that there was nothing in there to blame the weight on I felt vulnerable and exposed. I was about to ask. and sat down.120 - . I had seen photos of Edward as a baby before. Esme flipped the page. and wiped away the tears that fell in a silent. wiggling a little so that I was comfortably squished between two thick and fluffy pillows. and sat up against the headboard. "I hope Edward doesn't come in. But we'll get to that later. and I heard a soft voice coming from the doorway. and I wanted desperately to know what Esme wanted to show me. They are pictures that the boys haven't seen. but I have something I want to show you. continuous stream. when Esme spoke. to remind me of something. in the hospital. I crawled over the bed... She opened it slowly. Can I come in?" I bit my lip. in the centre of the page.ever seen. and he truly was an adorable baby. holding Edward. Two moments later the door pushed open the entire way. She looked like death. "Of course. "It's a photo album of Edward.. a book of some sort in her hands. All of a sudden the door pushed open a tiny way. Thankfully she didn't wait too long before showing me. . Esme?" Curiosity got the better of me. It's something Carlisle made me." I replied." Esme walked over to the bed. running her hand over the first page. He won't be happy if he knew that you weren't sleeping. and sat on the end of the bed. waiting for her to enter the room. and a frazzled look on her face. Of course I wanted to see. Charlotte looks a lot like he did actually. that lifted off the page a little. were the words "Edward Anthony Cullen". Esme. and there. and patted the spot next to her.. dear. was Esme. and I wasn't encouraging you to. There.

they were all raised so well. and rickety. no more than a few days old. how I was back then. I didn't want to take money from them. "We didn't always have money. Emmett.121 - . even if it meant that I had to give Edward the bare minimum and nothing more for a while. and I couldn't be sure. but it was too late to do a caesarean section by the time they realised something was wrong. We had the money at hand. they are quite amazing aren't they?" "Why are you telling me this. and stopped for a moment. That's a lie. smiling less. And I nearly died along with him. stroking a piece of hair out of my face.."This was taken just moments after Edward was born. and tell me the story of each of the photos. in a crib. "But." Esme nodded "yes. and I started to realise just how amazing this woman was. He nearly died. through these photos. You could hear the distress in her voice as she spoke of the labour." Esme was crying silently. furiously wiping at the tears that stained her cheeks. Your boys love you more than anything. Esme continued to flip through the album. Esme?" She placed to photo album next to her. and in the centre of the page once more was a photo of Edward. my head resting on her shoulder as she spoke. But I can't force my help upon . Bella. Jasper and Edward. I sat in silence. I was in labour for twenty hours. and turned toward me. and I took my head from her shoulder to look at her. Esme. but it looked as if over the course of just a few weeks. before you get to the stage that I did. it looked as if Esme was getting more tired." Esme ended her sentence with a finality that let me know it wasn't appropriate to ask questions. The crib was old. There was something in each of the photos.. just as mine were. Carlisle's parents were more than happy to give us the money that we needed. is the day that I stopped being able to feed Edward because of post-partum depression. brown. "Because I see so much of me. You're the most wonderful mother in the world. But I was so much like you. and her eyes were bloodshot from crying a lot of the time." My mouth fell open. Esme turned the page again. Bella.. Finally she got to the last page. I want you to let me help you. "This.. in you now. no. Well.

you." AN – we can only hope that Bella will accept the help! Please review.122 - . I love to hear what everyone thinks! .

Esme really was amazing. Best review for last chapter definitely goes to Wake-up Soon for her positive review. laughing at stories about when Edward was a baby. "I can't do it. and held her. I breathed in and out slowly. They can sense how you're feeling. She just continued to cry. I rocked her gently. I had agreed to her helping me. and was already starting to feel a tiny bit better. Esme. Do you think you can try to relax?" I took a deep breathe and nodded.. Why wouldn't she just stop crying? I felt Esme's hand on my shoulder. After a few minutes I opened my eyes. and I wanted to scream at her. dear.123 - . You have to try to stay calm. She just won't stop crying!" "Shh. GOD DAMNED TESLTRA! *throws spears* I swear to god. Everyone else's reviews were amazing too.. I felt my own tears stinging my eyes. but she spat it out again. I tried to put the pacifier in her mouth. But nothing happened.Bella it's ok. Edward had brought Charlotte back in here about half an hour ago. and internet is MEANT TO BE being fixed tomorrow or the next day. . I picked up Charlotte gingerly. I tried it and it worked! So thank you. and tried to tempt Charlotte into feeding. I pulled my top down.Ready to Talk AN – internet = fail. and I hope you like this chapter as well! Bella's POV Esme and I lay on my bed. All the new found confidence was suddenly ripped away from me though. You're tense. and Esme took Charlotte for a moment. Anyhow. and undid my bra. and reminding myself that I could do it. They are the most annoying inefficient company in the history of the universe. and left Esme and I to talk. For all you aussies out there who know what I'm on about. and looked at Esme. so we'll see. when Charlotte let out a shrill cry. wiping the tears. Charlotte will be more likely to be calm when you are. and I let the tears roll down. and also some amazing advice on how to get past writers block. but she continued to cry. I finally got the internet up long enough to load this chapter. I hop you like it.

The turkey is in the oven." I held Charlotte closer to my chest. I'll be downstairs in half an hour. Tears fell from my eyes.. or myself. It's ok. and a small smile came over my face. Charlotte continued to cry. The same rain that draws you near me." I went to get up. but I left making desert to you. if you want to. "Try holding her close to you. and Esme?" . and picked up Charlotte.. like an unwanted stranger. shh. "And now.124 - . or even anyone else in this family in this room.Charlotte. That's when you throw Edward. and get changed while I take this little beauty downstairs and watch her. I am here tonight. and I continued in a different verse "someday you'll know. You can do it. rocking it slowly until her eyes fell shut. she'll most likely have cried herself to sleep. "I would love to make desert.." Esme picked up Charlotte again. "She's stopped. and placed her in my arms. and stroked a finger gently across her red cheek. Mommy's here.. and talking gently to her. You just have to remember to relax. but Esme placed a hand on my shoulder. and there will be nothing you can do. and was looking up at me.. And sometimes Charlotte will be crying for the sake of crying." I softened my voice even more and starting to sing gently "the rain pounds harsh against the glass." Charlotte stopped crying.." My smile widened. and started to walk toward to door. "Oh. Bella. falls on rivers and lands. You parents will be here for dinner in 2 hours." "That she has."Ok. See. When you come back. and go downstairs and make yourself a cup of tea. that nature is so. On forests and sand.. young miss. "Shh.. and I pulled Esme into a tight hug... I'm ready." Charlotte began to quiet at little." I stood and placed Charlotte gently in her crib. You are going to go have a shower.

Went fishing with Billy the other day. "Right there. He and Billy went fishing twice a week. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath before opening them against to look at Edward. "Pretty good." I just nodded." "Yeah. "Dinner's going to be ready in a few minutes.. and sore. She wouldn't shut up all the way from the airport." Charlie pulled me into an awkward hug. I think I will." I mumbled. yeah." I suppressed the eye roll that was threatening to make an appearance. I'm tired.Esme turned around to look at me." "That's alright dear." Edward grinned at me.. I leaned against the wall when we got out of the lounge room... as I walked over to say hi to dad.. You'll be fine. "Sorry about that Bells. "Thank you." "Well. I promise. .." x-x "Where is my beautiful granddaughter?" my mother all but bowled me over to get to Charlotte.. "How you been Char.dad?" Old habits die hard. I'm not sure I'll ever call him dad without thinking about it first. "And how have you been Bella? You look tired.. motioning for me to follow him. But I think I'm good. She's just excited k? Don't take it personally. who was in her rocker by the lounge.125 - . I have a 3 day old daughter. so it wasn't surprising that they went the other day. I was thanking my lucky stars that Edward chose that moment to walk into the room.

I didn't want to make this one too long. They were talking between themselves about various baby items they'd seen. I decided on there." I paused. "Come on. x-x Dinner passed with strained conversation and awkward silences. Alice and Rosalie were spending Christmas Eve with their families. Jasper and Emmett were already at the table. About half way through Charlotte had cried out for a feed. if that's ok?" Edward stepped toward me. and I think the conversation and Edward's reaction need to be in a . I turned to see Edward just inches behind me. Edward and I walked upstairs at about nine. "Yeah. So I battled with myself over where to end it. I was waiting for Charlotte to cry. and pulled the small baby blanket over her. He pulled me tight against his chest and whispered "are you ready to talk. and thankfully she hadn't cried for long. It seemed so quiet. I will write the conversation next chapter." I smiled at him. and brushed a strand of hair out of my face." We walked back into the lounge room just as everyone was filing out to go to the dining room. and when I was finally satisfied. Esme and Renee were the only two who never had a moment of silence. "Bella. with a sleeping Charlotte in my arms.. after dinner. love?" AN – ok. it was almost peaceful.126 - . "But I'd like to talk to you about a few things. We have to get back in there before my mother runs off with Charlotte. love. tucking it in tight at the sides."You look better. I'm feeling a bit better actually." I grinned again. I did a double check to make sure there was nothing in her crib that she could choke on or could end up cover her face. but other than that.. Anything you want to discuss. I placed Charlotte in her crib. I am all ears. You never have to ask to talk to me about something.

Please review! .chapter of their own. So tell me what you think. The link is at the top of my profile.127 - . Don't forget there is a Twilighted forum where I will give teasers and such if people are over there.

remember." "I know you're having a bit of trouble coping. it doesn't have to be alone. and Bella is TRYING to let him. she can't be all better just like that. I knew before you got home. even springtime feels cold Bella nodded against my chest. I sat next to her. Here is another chapter.128 - . Edward is TRYING to understand. It doesn't happen. and encourage me to write quicker. Put your face into my neck and let it fall out. I know. and she sat down. wiping tears from her cheeks.Ok.. Edward.. 'cos I know I know I know when. "I'm not doing so great. This world you're in now. Thank you to "dazzled eyes22" for your awesome reviews for nearly every chapter.Nightminds AN . They make me really happy. I pulled her gently over to the bed. But you're going to be ok. please remember to review. love?" Just lay it all down.I know. and looked at her. This is so not how I saw this one happening. and pulled away slowly. The song in this is Nightminds – Missy Higgins "Are you ready to talk. but you know. Before you kill me. I know you probably already know that though. You know . Everyone. And yours was my favourite for last chapter too. I'll get there somehow. I know .

it's easier to let go." Bella took a deep breath before continuing "it seems like everything I'm meant to be doing everyone else can do so much better than me. and I took it as my cue to shut up.. and I wanted to man up and hold her and tell her it would all be ok. The highs will make you fly.. and into the light at the end of the fight. And to top it all off. but I'm not sure she understood completely that I was fucking scared too." Bella tears were matched by my own as she spoke. And I was once there. It's like there was a gene on how to be a parent that everyone else has but I missed out on. I look in the mirror and all I see is loose skin and stretch marks. I nearly panic every time I hold Charlotte because I don't know if I'm doing something wrong or not. and now it's just loose skin and baby. You were blessed by a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.129 - . but the lows make you want to die.. I know. hanging from that very ledge where you are standing. So I know. together we will rise.that right?" Bella nodded again. I feel like everything I used to be is gone. "I'll be alright eventually. out of our nightminds. And in our honesty.. I know. . But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see so we can both be there and we can both share the dark. I know. But right now I just want to talk about WHY I am feeling like this.

.." But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see. so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.. and chewing on her lip...but I suppose I'm not completely opposed to the idea of medication." she stopped midsentence. Make her feel better. and I paused." "Edward can we go to sleep now?" Bella asked out of the blue. I turned to get her pajamas from the chest of drawers." "Of course. I just want to sleep now.. Now it wasn't just about Bella feeling like she wasn't good enough.. But I don't think I'm ready to go into the details just yet. "Edward I can." "I don't want to talk to a complete stranger.. "I want to help you. I just needed to placate her. It mustn't be easy for her to tell me that she doesn't think she knows how to be mother. She turned her head slightly. It broke my heart seeing my love so upset. and took a deep breathe "sure." "Ok well. I looked up to see her fiddling nervously with the edge of her shirt. Just let me get your pajamas. And in our honesty." Bella smiled meekly at me.. Edward.. "I think I've talked enough for one night." "Have you thought about medication? Maybe seeing someone about it. together we will rise out of our nightminds and into the light at the end of the fight.130 - . Thank you. How? How can I help?" Bella shook her head "I really don't know.. ."Bella. I could understand that." She looked up at me. and fought the tears that were threatening to spill over. I fought back the hurt. fresh tears threatening to spill over. and kissed her cheek instead. panic in her eyes.. and I leant in to kiss her.. I guess talking about it will help. I couldn't help but worry that this was the beginning of the end....

And in our honesty. I WILL GIVE YOU A TEASER... to add to that. They make me write faster. at the end of their fight. And. Seriously.131 - .. IF YOU REVIEW. Please review. AN – ok. together we will rise out of our nightminds and into the light.. .

I just wanted to sleep it all away. WOW to all the reviews received last chapter. I totes forgot.. I was lactating.. because the only place open was the 24/7 . and I placed her back in her crib. Unfortunately reality got the better off me. He'd said he had to go out this morning. Instead I slid out of bed.. and the screaming stopped.Not So Merry Christmas AN – hey guys. and I just wanted her to feed. because it was made of pure win... I was ready to scream. I drew in a deep breath. and rolled onto my side. He must be going into Port Angeles. and the door open and then close. Christmas day. I picked her up and sat down on the bed. Charlotte finished feeding. I listened to the gentle suckling noise. 7:30am. I had always hated Christmas. Oh. It took three times to get Charlotte to latch on. Instead she screamed and wriggled trying desperately to get free of my arms. *high fives*. I lay back down on bed and pulled the covers over my head as I heard Edward's car moving on the gravel.. I don't think I missed anyone. It made my day. now I just wanted it to disappear and let me stay in bed. My breasts were aching. but I didn't realise he meant this early. I kept thinking that maybe if I fell asleep for a really long time I'd wake up and it would be all better.132 - . Hope he remembers diapers. TEASERS ARE OFFERED AGAIN FOR REVIEWS ON THIS CHAPTER! Bella's POV I felt Edward's weight lift off the bed. I just want to say. and tried to coax her to feed.. It was almost calming. She'd woken up four times last night. Best review for last chapter goes to Audrey Eddie Cullen. I hope you all got my teaser that I sent out. I glanced at the clock.. and checked that Charlotte was still asleep. and Charlotte started screaming again.

please. Charlotte started whimpering in her crib again. In the meantime though. "Oh. Perhaps they should just take Charlotte away. and next thing I knew Charlotte was quiet and someone had softly sat on my bed and was pushing my hair out of my face. mixing nicely with my own sobs. and lips pulled down into a frown. and I pulled the covers further over my head. How can I love someone and just want them to leave me alone? Do I even love her? A loud knock at the door joined the screaming coming from the crib. I begged Charlotte silently to just let me be for a few hours. I bit my lips and closed my eyes at the sight of her face. She was disappointed with me. It'd be better for her. People liked depressing shit like that.. My thoughts were interrupted by just that. Bella. and my tears stained the pillow. I knew it. Her eyes were filled with concern. Please be quiet. to make her go away. I wanted Alice to leave too... I opened my mouth to tell her that. I didn't want to be this. Maybe throw in some nice lyrics and I have a chart topper. We're going to talk..." Alice's voice came softly from the body invading my space.general store. your mother is here. I didn't want to get up. You know I wouldn't come here unless I wanted to. please. I was incompetent. wait..133 - .. Rosalie . Bella.. do I? My sobs grew louder. Everyone should be.. please.. Instead Charlotte's cries filled the air. I wanted to be happy. Instead I turned on my side and looked up at her.. "Bella. I didn't want to see anyone. I only have seconds before someone barges in through that door and. It could hit the top 40's I swear. I wish I could go back. I hugged my chest and felt my heart ripping itself apart.. I wanted to scream at her. do you want to see her?" I shook my head violently.. but she cut me off. And when I want something I don't leave until I get it. and I started crying with her.. "Don't bother asking.

you're sitting up. That wasn't it. and shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't just snowing. "Is it because she cries all the time?" I shook my head." I smiled a tiny bit at the thought. . so did you want to talk... not entirely. and wanted to play with it. so what's wrong?" Alice asked. There is no way in hell I'm letting you lie down while I have to sit up. and then raised my eyebrows at Alice. that's what I thought too. waiting for her to turn around.Emmett. well either way. "Merry Christmas by the way" Alice said. I shrugged my shoulders again. jumping on the bed. She turned her back. and offering me chocolate that seemed to have appeared out of nowhere.134 - . "Yeah. "You can turn around Alice. After he broke the vase Esme told them to take it outside of stop playing.. and you'd have to be plain stupid to go out and play in it. "Use your big girl words.. the wind was gusting... Well. "Ok. It was just so. Bella. They're insane.." I glanced out the window. but Emmett got a new ball." "I don't mind what we do" I said with a huff.has taken Charlotte downstairs. "Yeah. Alice narrowed her eyes at me. "Ok. I really didn't care at the moment." I said after a few minutes of watching her. and the boys are out playing football. and I slipped the sweat pants and hoodie on." I could see past her pretences. She didn't want me to be lying in bed all day. "Ok. as she pulled the covers off me. it was icy. A very merry Christmas.." I rolled my eyes as Alice threw clothes at me. or just lay here?" I looked up at Alice.

Bella. AN . You're not the only one who feels useless. I have no idea what to do! I feel absolutely useless! I want to scream at my fiancé for every little thing! And now I have someone shooting questions at me like I am supposed to know how to answer them! Just leave me alone already!" Hurt flashed across Alice's face before she stood up off the bed and walked toward the door. how would you feel if you were suddenly thrown in the deep end! Just fucking imagine that! I'm a new mom. "Alice! Shut up and get out! Ok."Are you tired?" I bit my lip and shook my head again.Remember: REVIEW FOR TEASERS! .135 - . "I just wanted to help. "Did Edward do something?" Something inside me snapped. I wasn't too tired." She closed the door gently behind her. Picking up my pillow I held it to my face and let out a scream.

Sighing. but after she told me to stay in bed. I hope I live up to your expectations in this chapter. hoping I didn't wake her.. but I didn't know how to make it all better either. the way she cried. I didn't know what to do. I had gotten up with her the first two times.. and showered quickly.. I slipped out of the room.. On with the chapter. you readers are the only reason this chapter is now out.. It doesn't happen like that. I didn't know what to say to her. Best review for c27 goes too. I slid out of the bed. I implore all of you to go and Google PPD. Trust me. and I just wanted to say that depression (or mental illness for that matter) is not something that is easy to just get over. sorry for the long AN. The amount of people in the world who are ignorant of the way that metal illness affects a person and the affects of stigma surrounding mental illness is staggering. think. Your review was indepth.. .. to help. Edward's POV I lay back in the bed and looked over at Bella. I just want to say thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter.136 - . I was scared of making a wrong move in case I upset her. learn a bit more about it. but suffice it to say I had a really bad few days. It was just 7am. flamingheart1974. Onto the AN – Holy freaking shit. But I was stuck myself. and she'd been up and down all night.. and that she didn't need me to.Smile !IMPORTANT NOTE BEFORE THE AN! Something disturbing was said about PPD recently. I gave up. it made me which I could help her. helped me go with my idea (I wasn't so sure about it before your review) and was overall just a very good review. *drum roll* . and needed to get my head in the right place before I could finish off this chapter. The things she'd said. I'm sorry I took so long! I don't want to go into detail. I didn't want to walk on eggshells around my fiancé. or say.

I sat on the cream couch. I looked at it.137 - . and threaded a rose through the wire frame. and looked around the living room. and grinned. I placed it on the mantel above the fire place.. There. and I had paid some people to do what I couldn't. I just hoped Bella loved it as much I did. Esme looked up at me as I entered.. well I'm sure Bella would love the oven at least. Bella's POV At around 8am. Esme had picked out the furniture.. I had been coming here whenever I had a free moment. were Carlisle and Esme. Today was a day for my Bella. everything was new. but I was nearly finished with the renovations. but Esme had offered to look after her for a few hours. and a cottage appeared. I slid out of the bed I had used as my fort after Alice had left my room. honey. Stainless steal appliances. and I didn't want to put her in a position where she felt more vulnerable than before. and toward Port Angeles. but it was the best on the market. I wasn't sure it was what Bella wanted. I was wondering when you were going to join us. Making sure everything was stocked in the kitchen for Bella's lunch. It looked amazing. and that oven. and pulled the photo frame out of my jacket pocket. Charlotte was only a few days old. and walked quietly to the kitchen.. and I wasn't going to have something for her to worry about. Today I would show Bella. This was the cottage I had bought for us.I drove a few miles. I looked around. I drove out of the limits of Forks. before pulling into a driveway nearly as concealed at the one at home. as I knew they would be. Slowly the trees started to thin. Today would be just she and I. and placed it around the house. and there was bottled breast milk in the fridge. . I wasn't sure how Bella would feel about moving out yet." I took a deep breath and looked at my feet for a few moments before looking back up to Esme. Opening the front door I walked in. "Bella. kissed it. She had said she wanted to do more cooking. I could give Esme that much. I needed time with Bella. and it was nearly ready. After checking everything off my list. Charlotte is with Alice and Rosalie. I knew that. brand new pots and pans. which would be lit later.

and Carlisle spoke to me.. "I think. "Bella.. and I was starting to feel slightly better." Esme sat down at the bench.. I need help" I managed to stutter out.. blow dried my hair. Pushing it across the bench to me. There are a few options we can discuss. She held me as I cried."Actually. I felt like I could walk out of the house without breaking down. Carlisle stood on the other side of the bench.. standing up "coffee?" I shook my head "no thanks." I looked up at Carlisle and nodded. Tears I hadn't even tried to hold back this time flowed. If that's ok. and it felt as if a weight had been lifted off me. the hot water cascading down my back. and busied himself pouring the water into my tea. Edward had called to say he was on his way home. And Carlisle. taking the time to feel everything. "Absolutely. but I could work on that. A blush took over my face. something I hadn't done in two weeks. I just let them fall. but tea would be nice.. I shaved my legs.. what can we help you with?" Carlisle asked. Uninhibited. I showered slowly. We're extremely grateful you did. You have no idea just how brave it is of you to come and ask us for help. I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes. I knew I had to do this. I think maybe." my heart was pounding a thousand beats a minutes. x-x Carlisle and Esme talked to me for nearly an hour. Stepping out of the shower I dried myself. . and I didn't bother trying to wipe them away.138 - . I ignored everything. no matter what.. I just want you to remember that we are always here for you.. and put slid a nice pair of jeans and a flowing shirt on. but my tears were slowing. the way the soap felt as I rubbed it down my arms. he looked up expectantly. and motioned for me to sit down next to her. and that was an improvement of monumental magnitudes.. and a feeling of shame flooded through my entire being. and I walked back up to the bedroom to shower and get ready for breakfast. and my brain was telling me to stop. Not fantastic. as Esme rubbed my arm encouragingly. I could feel my stomach jumping around. I wasn't able to speak yet. and run. Esme's arm snaked around my shoulders and pulled me to her.

I ran one finger down her cheek. I smile genuinely. my lip. remembering to breathe.. "Shh. and I walked down quickly. Edward. "of course" he leaned in and placed one hand on my cheek.. my love" before leaning forward to whisper "and to you too. can I talk to Alice alone for a moment?" I asked. It was enough for now that Charlotte was feeding this time. "I have a surprise for you. A small smile crept onto my lips.. and brushed my lips against his.I heard Charlotte cry from downstairs. Charlotte finished suckling on one breast. I leant in as far as I could without disturbing Charlotte." I said quietly "Um. I walked into the sitting room to see Rosalie starting to be panicked when rocking Charlotte wouldn't quiet her. but I didn't want to get my hopes too high yet. and put his head on my shoulder. Alice smiled. and telling myself I could do this. Edward sighed and smiled against my lips before standing up. biting. walking over to stand behind me. As sadistic as it is. "That sounds nice. I was amazed when it only took two tries to get her to start feeding. Remembering how I had turned away from him last night. love.. seeing someone else struggle made me feel a little bit better. arms full of packets of diapers.139 - . I pulled down the shoulder of my top and let Charlotte latch on at start suckling. and let her latch onto my other breast." I turned her around. For the first time in days. Apparently she wanted present opening too. Edward smiled. The door was pushed open and I tore my eyes away from Charlotte's tiny face to see Edward stumble through the doorway." He started walking around the couch just as Alice huffed at looked up at us "after we open all the presents of course" Edward said as he sat down next to me. my daughter". and starting whimpering. I suppose it was just a gentle reminder that I wasn't the only one who didn't know what to do. He whispered in my ear "Merry Christmas. He placed them on the floor as smiled at me. .

"I'll be upstairs.... I might go to that... Bella. and Carlisle said that there's a mother's support group in Port Angeles. I opened my mouth to speak. Probably not as much as you.. I don't know. stop crying. and closed the door. trying to figure out just how to word what I was going to say. She was crying. and Alice just raised an eyebrow at me. "I've missed talking to you.. "Alice. the feeling of helplessness starting to surface again. Needless to say I missed terribly. I guess I. Alice sat down across from me. And I'm laughing because you're so cute when you're confused. we're going to set me up with a counsellor appointment. Bella. "I'm sorry.. careful not to shake Charlotte... and I was about to apologise again. asked Carlisle and Esme for help. She looked at me. Alice starting laughing and the confusion was overwhelming. We're scared too.." I narrowed my eyes at her.. Despite the awkwardness. I'm not sure yet. and I pulled my shirt and bra up again. it's been hard. I'm sorry.... I.. but Alice beat me to it. but I shouldn't have snapped at you. love." Alice cut me off "I'm not upset you idiot! I'm happy that you asked for help. I shouldn't have pushed you... but I'm sorry.. She stood up and walked over to me.. you don't have to be sorry." I closed my eyes before speaking. That you'll just push us away.140 - . we don't want that. Bella. I threw it with one hand. "Wha... Charlotte finished feeding. Picking up a pillow.. I guess you were pushing a bit." I begged. but we're scared that we won't be able to help.. although I had no idea how I had upset her this time." Edward walked out of the room." I bit my lip and looked up at Alice.. And I shouldn't be pushing you away. I just. the warmth of her intentions flowed through.. and hugged me awkwardly. I was just a little too enthusiastic. "Alice. sitting down where Edward had been previously been." . and looked around for something to throw at her.

"I don't want to push you away either, but sometimes I suppose it feels like there's no way you're going to understand..." I prepared myself for the anger from Alice, and almost jumped when she came in for another hug. "Bella, we might not understand completely, but I promise you we're sure as hell trying." I took a deep breath, and then scrunched up my noise. "Um... Charlotte needs changing..." I said. "Yes, she does. I was waiting for you to smell that." I pushed Alice gently, and playfully, and laughed. I cradled Charlotte and stood. Alice jumped up and opened the door for me, and I walked up the stairs. Pushing open the door I saw Edward staring at a photo of us on the dresser. "When are you parents coming over love?" "Around six. They're spending time in La Push today, catching up with old friends." I answered, placing Charlotte gently on the mat I threw onto the bed. "Can you pass me the diaper and powder?" I asked, and Edward walked over to me with them already in his hands. I took off Charlotte's diaper and wrapped up and passed it to him. "Why do you want to know?" I asked, wiping Charlotte's bottom. "I want to take you somewhere today. I just need to know how long we have." Charlotte squirmed as I put the diaper under her. "Have you got the baby carrier set up in the car?" Edward paused, and I knew there was something more. "Um... well I was thinking... Esme said that she can look after Charlotte for a few hours... if that's ok with you..."
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I bit my lip hard, and thought about it. I was scared about leaving Charlotte for a few hours. She was still new born, but Esme had given Charlotte a bottle before. "Is she really ok with it?" I asked, finishing sticking the sides down on the diaper. Edward knelt down next to me and took over putting on Charlotte's jumpsuit. "She'd love to look after Charlotte for a few hours, love. I promise." He said, kissing my cheek before picking up Charlotte. I sighed "ok... but we have to make sure our cell phone's are on, just in case she needs to call." Edward nodded, and placed Charlotte into her crib. "Of course, love."

AN – ok, remember, TEASERS FOR REVIEWS, REVIEW FOR YOUR TEASER. Next chapter will be Edward's present. It won't be a complete lemon (because come on, she just had a baby. That shit hurts :P), but there will be something good, gentle, perhaps half lemony provided you show me some love. So come on, gentle lovin' AND teasers. Do you really need more of an incentive to review?

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I Swear To You
AN – thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. You made me so happy. I woke my brother up with one of them, which I got at about 3am. He came in cos I squealed. I suppose he thinks I'm insane. Which I probably am. Anyhow, best review for last chapter goes to (by the way I really need a pre-recorded drum roll) mommy2matty, for your awesome review. I always like to hear how I'm making people feel with this story. Writing emotions is one of the things I really hope that I'm good at, if nothing else. On with the chapter? Edward's POV Throughout the entire process of opening presents, and clearing of the paper that Emmett and Alice seemed to love throwing at each other, my heart was racing. I was starting to have second thoughts about this. What if she didn't like it? What if I upset her more because she thought I was pushing her? However just as I was about to say that I couldn't show her the "surprise" today, Bella piped up, saying she was ready to leave. I walked over to her and kissed her cheek. "Are you sure you're ok with leaving Charlotte here, love?" Bella bit her lip. "No, but we can come back any time can't we? And do you promise we'll have cell phone reception?" I smiled gently. "Of course we can come back whenever you want, or if Esme calls. We won't be very far away. Also, I know there's cell phone reception." Bella breathed in deeply and closed her eyes, calming herself. "Ok, let's go then. I'll just say goodbye to Charlotte one more time" Bella said, and turned to walk toward the sitting room where Esme was with Carlisle. I followed her in, because I missed my daughter already. I knew we needed this though. We
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needed a couple of hours to ourselves. Charlotte squirmed as Bella said goodbye, and kissed her noise. She put her back down in her portable crib, and I leaned in. "Goodbye, princess. Make sure you're good for Grandma and Grandpa, ok? I love you munchkin" I whisper the last bit, not really wanting everyone to be a part of that moment. Bella could hear though, and leant in placing her head gently on my shoulder. "Come on, Edward. If we don't go now we're never going to get out of here," Bella said before turning to Esme "make sure SHE" Bella tilted her head to the door where Alice was bouncing off the walls (someone gave her sugar) "doesn't run off with my baby" Bella looked to Esme seriously, and Esme held in giggles. "I would never allow it, Bella. Now you two go, have a little fun. I'll call if I need you." Bella was about to walk out, but stopped. "There's fresh breast milk in the fridge, I have diapers upstairs in her nursery, and also down here. Her pacifiers are in here. Is there anything else? I feel like I'm forgetting something." Esme walked over to Bella and wrapped her in a hug. She pulled away saying "Bella, sweetheart, it's going to be ok. I promise." Bella bit her lip and nodded, before hugging Esme once more, and waving to Carlisle. I took her hand, and we walked out of the house, and to my car. The drive to the house was quiet, but not uncomfortable. Bella's hand sought out mine, and they lay entwined between us as I drove. Within minutes I was pulling into the driveway of the property and starting down the winding overgrown path leading to the cottage. I pulled up outside the house and looked over to Bella. She was staring at it. "It's even more beautiful than the pictures..." she whispered, stepping out of the car "can we go in?" she asked walking toward the house.
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I stifled a small laugh. "Yes, love. We can go in." I walked up the steps to the porch and slid the key into the lock, turning it, it clicked, and I pushed the door open, letting Bella pass me. Bella walked into the house, and my heart and mind started racing. What was she thinking? Did she like it? What if she didn't like it? Bella turned to me, her mouth half open, her eyes wide. "Do you... I mean is it..." I started stuttering. "It's..." Bella started "it's... wow. Edward. When did you find the time to do all this?" "Esme, Carlisle, and... well everyone helped." I said, walking behind her as she examined everything that had been done; the repainting, furnishing, and hanging pictures. "It's completely finished? Like... ready to move into?" I bit my lip and nodded "it's ready when you are, love. I don't want you to feel as if we have to rush to move out." I took Bella's hand, anxious to show her the kitchen. We walked in, and Bella gasped. She ran over to the cupboard and opened and closed them. She turned on the gas to the oven and opened the fridge. "Everything connected too? It's ready to use?" I smiled and nodded again. I had missed seeing Bella excited about something. "Can I... I mean... is it ready to be cooked in?" I suppressed a laugh, "yes, you can cook if you want. I was going to make us some pasta for lunch or something though." Bella's head shot up, and looked at me. "I'll do it!" she exclaimed, grabbing a pan from where they hung above the bench, and filling it with water, placing it on the stove, and turning it on. She went around
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the cupboards and got out spices and vegetables for the sauce. "Do you want me to help, love?" I asked raising an eyebrow as Bella ran around excitedly. Bella shook her head "no. No I want to do this. If that's ok?" she ended in a question, and I walked over to her, kissing her forehead. "Whatever you want love, I will let you have it." x-x Bella's POV After lunch, Edward cleaned up the kitchen while I walked around the house. I pushed open a door and gasped. In there was a four poster bed, with beautiful white comforter and matching pillow cases. I went and sat on the bed and all but sunk into it. Lying down, and revelled in the softness. Sighing, I closed my eyes and slipped into a light sleep. I woke up to another warm body holding me, and I turned to face it. "Are you awake, love?" Edward's voice whispered from beside me. I nodded into his chest as his hands ghosted over my back. He started applying a little bit of pressure, and rubbing. I sighed in contentment as sore muscles started to relax. "Roll on your stomach?" Edward asked and I complied, letting him sitting over me and rub my back. I moaned as his hands worked on my lowered back. "Edward..." I started. "Mmm?" "Can you massage... well... my whole body?" I asked, biting my lip and turning my hand to try to look at him. A blush took over my cheeks, and I felt ridiculous. Edward had seen so much of me before, but this would be the first time he'd seen me completely naked since Charlotte was born. Edward leaned in and kissed my neck softly.
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"Of course," he said, rolling me over gently, and unzipping my jeans, he pulled them from my legs. Starting at the balls of my feet he rubbed gently, moving up to my shins and calf muscles, slowly working out the tension built there. Moving up to my thighs he ran his palms up and down the outsides, slowly, carefully, before gently squeezing his way down from my hips to my knees, and back up again. He moved his hands to the inside of my thighs, and an uncontrollably jolt of desire ran through my legs, up to my core, making me moan in pleasure. Edward paused, and I looked down to see what he was doing. He was staring up at me with concern filled eyes. "Are you ok? Did I hurt you?" he asked frantically. It took all the strength I had not to slap him. "Edward, I'm fine. It felt nice..." I replied, shaking my head incredulously. "Oh..." Edward said softly, before saying "top off, love. And role onto your stomach". I sat up and slid my jacket off, before pulling my top over my head. I felt immediately exposed, and pulled the comforter up to cover my chest. Edward looked at me before shuffling over and kissing me gently. "Please, don't hide from me. You are beautiful, Bella..." he whispered. I let the comforter fall hesitantly, and turned to lie on my stomach. Edward's soft but strong hands ghosted over my shoulders, running gently down my back. He stopped at the bottom of my back and pressed down, running his hands out to my hips. "Mmm... that feels good Edward. My hips really hurt" I sighed, revelling in the pleasure of having his hands on my body. Edward spent a few minutes massaging and kneading my hips. I felt my entire body relaxing. His hands started to move back down, and to the inside of my thighs. I felt my legs part unconsciously, and Edward paused, before brushing his fingers gently over my panties.
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I moaned as the electrical desire coursed through my body. I wanted him to touch me, but I knew that penetration would hurt too much. Edward move his hands away from my centre, and back to my thighs. I groaned, and tried to push my self back so that his hands would touch me again. "Edward... please..." He needed no more coaxing, and his fingers slid under the material of my panties, pushing down gently on my swollen clit. "Oh god!" I moaned as Edward moved his finger around in gently, agonisingly erotic circles. He lent down and kissed the back of my neck, sucking and nipping gently before moving to my shoulders and doing the same. His free hand sliding gently up my side, leaving a feeling of tingling fire in it's wake before moving underneath my body to take my breast in his hand. He pressed gently, running his fingers around my nipple in the same motion as he was my clit. "Fuck..." I said quietly, enjoying the gentle, slow burning desire that was building in my stomach. Edward pressed harder on my clit, pinching it between his fingers and rolling it, making me cry out in pleasure as he brought me even closer to my climax. "Bella, roll over, please" Edward whispered in my ear "I want to see you... you're beautiful" Unable and unwilling to deny him, I rolled onto my back and looked into Edward's lust filled eyes. He was pleasuring me and asking nothing in return. It was almost enough to send me over the edge in that moment. He leant down and kissed me gently. I opened my mouth slightly, grazing along his bottom lip with my tongue; Edward opened his mouth, and caressed my tongue with his. Moaning into his mouth, Edward rolled my clit between his fingers again. My stomach clenched, and toes curled. My back arched involuntarily as my orgasm took over my body. My cried were stifled by Edward's mouth as he slowly pulled his hand from my soaked panties and pulled me close to him. I lay there in his arms as I came down from my high. "Wow... Edward that was... thank you..." I managed to choke out. "Bella, you don't have to thank me. Seriously." He said, smiling at me.
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.... better. I took a deep breath and stepped toward Edward. for lack of a better term – bodily fluid". I guess I'm just scared because. well.. and I get scared that maybe you won't want this.. Beautiful? "Well. "Bella.I strange feeling on my chest pulled me out of my high very quickly and I looked down to see breast milk running down my chest. Edward. "Oh my gosh.. well in a weird kind of way it's absolutely beautiful. He had to be freaking kidding me. It's not weird to love someone so much that you won't be scared off by a little bit of. you lactated on his HANDS! My mind screamed at me as tears started pouring... "I know." Edward whispered quietly.. jumping off the bed. stopping me from flailing them. leaning my head against his chest.. "No. I really don't mind.. I'm not. looking up at him... Edward I'm so sorry." . Edward stood up and grabbed my arms." I stuttered. My breasts get lumpy and sore when I don't feed Charlotte on time. Even if that means a little bit of lactation now and again.. Oh god." he said. I have stretch marks in places I didn't know I had to begin with. well I'm not the skinny girl I used to be. trying desperately to find something to wipe my chest off with. "You're really weird you know that right?" I said. taking my hands in his and kissing my knuckles gently. maybe you'd want someone. eyebrows raised.... I'm going to marry you! We're a family! Hell it scares the fucking shit out of me sometimes! But the truth of the matter is that I wouldn't change any of it for the world. handing me a couple of clean tissues from the box next to the bed "it's ok... Grabbing up my shirt I wiped it off.... and looked up at him. "What?" I scoffed incredulously. Bella we have a beautiful daughter. a fresh feeling of embarrassment bringing me back down to earth and making me want to sink into the ground.149 - . It's actually. Edward saw you like this.." I froze.. I guess that it reminds me of what we have together. I have so many different things about me now.

kissing my hair." he said gently "look at me. There was that one time..150 - ." Edward let out a laugh. ok.Edward wrapped his arms around me and held me to his chest. "Do I look like I'm lying to you? Have I ever lied to you?" I smirked "well. "Yeah. You haven't. I really wish you could see that. "Bella." "Ok. "And I'm not about to start now. Bella. "Really. since that one time.." I laughed. .. "Bella you have to believe me! I love you. have I lied to you?" Thinking about it for a moment. when you told me that you weren't horny. or any of that stuff!" "Really?" I mumbled uncertainly against his chest." I said. But in the past two years. Bella" I looked up at him hestitantly. you should get dressed." Edward said smiling. to our daughter. We have to get home. trying desperately to believe his words. "No.. there is no one better for me. And of course the rest of the family. silently mourning the loss of warmth. who have probably tried a thousand different outfits on Charlotte already. No matter what stretch marks – which by the way are no where near as prominent as you see them – or lumpy breasts. pulling away from Edward. I shook my head. actually. There was that one time." I said quietly. I nodded against his chest. kissing me again "now. "Good." Edward said. stepping up on my tiptoes "I believe you" I murmured before kissing him softly.

Then it's funny. Please review. That probably isn't anywhere near as funny when you're reading it as it is in my head. and I will send you off a teaser :) . AN – holy wow. Don't we all want one? Teasers for reviews my friends. Not the outfits. I hope.."Dear god. Ok. but I'm rereading it with funny accents. Imagine what Alice has done!" I said jokingly. I will give you a TEASER for a REVIEW. feed my addiction. We both knew that Alice wouldn't have redressed Charlotte.. Longer than usual at least.. so you know. I bribe you with TEASERS! So did you like the gently loving? *squee* gentle Edward is a loveable Edward. just do that. That was kinda long. Maybe a little over excitable at times. But not to the point she'd subject a baby to hours of outfit changes.151 - . Please.. She really wasn't as into fashion and shopping as everyone made her out to be. But seriously. I'm a review addict.

" Edward just shook he's head. Edward snickered. no jokes. did you miss me?" Charlotte poked her tiny tongue out of her mouth. Without further waffling from me. I ran to the crib. feed her. love?" I tilted my head from side. "Didn't you say that last year. and shook the sleet from our hair. the chapter. "It's global warming. Making me freeze me toes off. I wanted nothing more than to hold her. picking a piece of ice out of my hair. They really do make my day. In the end though I chose to give a shout out and thank you to SimplyDazzling. "I swear it's even colder than last year!" I exclaimed. AND I treat myself to a piece of chocolate for each review I get. Rushing inside to avoid the freezing wind and drizzling rain. Like. . and clapping. "Hey baby. I opened the already ajar door to Carlisle's study to see Alice cooing over Charlotte in her portable crib. :D Best review for last chapter was soooo freakin' hard to pick. and wrapped his arm around my waist. leading me up the stairs. Fer cereal. and stuck my tongue out at Edward. Bella POV Edward and I pulled into the driveway and stepped out of the car onto the damp gravel. You guys are totes awesome. and leaned in. I get so happy when I get review alerts. There's squee-ing. All but pushing Alice out of the way. Watching a child learn about their mouth was nothing short of absolutely adorable. My baby girl was so close and for the first time since the day I brought her home. stroking Charlotte's cheek gently.Lost AN – a freakin' huge thank you to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I walked quickly down the hallway. and pulled it back in again. see her tiny cherub face. we threw our coats onto the coat rack.152 - .

"How was your day?" Esme asked from the couch in the corner. I don't think she liked not having her mommy around. and I silently thanked whatever presence may be out there.. Realistically though. As if on cue. "Did she sleep much while I was gone?" I asked Esme. I loved this high. I completely understand how uncomfortable it is. so you might have to feed her again soon. maybe a bit more. and the breast pump was not the most comfortable why of relieving that pain. I wonder if Charlotte will sleep so I can have a nap. "Not at all. no. I picked her up." I said.. "It was amazing. She was fed about two hours ago. Rolling my eyes I started thinking about how I didn't even want to know what . but Emmett woke her up. Charlotte let out a cry.153 - . grinning slightly at something she must've been thinking." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Actually. Glancing at the clock I saw that I still had two hours before my parents came. but didn't expect too much. and never wanted it to end. cradling her carefully in my arm. My breasts were killing me. Charlotte latched on straight away. I started hoping.." Esme said smiling. "How have things been here? Was Charlotte good?" "She whimpered a bit when you left. I was determined to make it last as long as I could though. "Would it be strange if I said I was looking forward to that?" I asked Esme jokingly. I opened my shirt and unclipped my bra. I walked to the couch and sat down next to her.Giggling." she continued.. smiling brightly. Turning slowly to Esme. Esme smiled and nodded.. I doubt Edward could put all of that together so well.. She was a bit restless while you were gone. I turned around. I knew I was going to come down eventually. No doubt you were in on the furnishings. but she quieted down not long after." Alice piped up from her spot on the carpet drawing in her sketch book "she slept for half an hour or so just after lunch.

raising my eyebrows. "Alice. do I really have a choice?" I asked. cocking my head to the side.154 - . Knowing my luck he was probably already showing her all the tricks he knew. "Yeah. "Did you have any ideas for flowers? Colour schemes and all that sort of thing. Clipping up that side of my bra I undid the other and let her latch on and start drinking again. yeah. "Dresses?" I asked. I'm not going to take over completely. "Yes. But not too light. I stuck my tongue out at Alice... Instead of talking. She looked like she was concentrating on something with a lot of detail. Light blue." I asked just as Charlotte stopped suckling and started whimpering.." Alice nodded. and pulled out a colour pencil. halter necked..." Looking over it I decided I really did like it. I looked up at her. the one I'm working on is what I might like for my dress. "Ok then. silly. This is your wedding we're planning for." Alice started "but this way you can choose what you really want. I was all for being immature today. My mind started running over the possibilities. and then to both of the colours she was holding up in her hands. I doubt he would take learning at an early age to a whole new level though. Alice turned the sketch book and held it up for me to see.." "We could.." Grinning.. It was simple.Emmett had subjected for Charlotte too.. falling to just below the knee. "What are you drawing?" I asked Alice. Bella? Alice asked from across the room. I thought that with your wedding to help plan and all that I might as well get a head start on designs. "I did. ." "Aren't we just going to buy all the dresses? There's a store in Port Angeles. Alice.. Do you prefer purple or light blue. and started shading the picture...

make her more comfortable." a soft voice whispered from down the hallway. "You're a messy girl aren't you?" I cooed to Charlotte. Picking her up. it made me feel amazing.. My breathing was so fast it hurt." My heart was pounding...Charlotte finished feeding and I flung a cloth over my shoulder and starting to burp her. "Why? It's not like you want her anyway. No one answered me when I asked where she was." I wiped tears from my cheeks that I didn't realise I was crying "I love you. She was asleep.. and down her tiny nose. you know that? You're going to be a heartbreaker one day. Running down the hallway.... A loud burp came from Charlotte and I felt wetness seep through the cloth and I rolled my eyes. Lowering Charlotte I pulled the cloth of my shoulder and placed it next to me.. I walked out of the room and down the hall to my room. and the next she had just vanished. sweetie." Charlotte's eyes started drooping. She was no where to be seen. I ran my finger gently down the middle of her forehead... help me!" I screamed to the people lining the walls of the hallway "where is she?" I screamed at the faceless person closest to me. x-x I ran from room to room. you know that right? It's just... I listened for the voice again.. "I don't hate you." I heard again. I could feel sweat damp on my skin. wiping her mouth. I don't know what to do most of the time. hard sometimes. "Charlotte!" I screamed out "some body.. The feeling of being able to help her. and slowly closed completely. A small bubble popped between her lips. trying desperately to find Charlotte. this time louder than last "come on.. "Bella. Placing her in the crib.. and I felt a smile come over my face "you're beautiful.." I whispered before crawling into bed hoping to have an hour or two of sleep before my mother and father came round. Esme picked it up and walked out of the room. "Bella..155 - ." . to the laundry no doubt. How could I lose a baby? One minute she was in my arms.

. staring at Charlotte. I couldn't talk yet.. and I could hear whispers close to my ear. memorizing every detail of her face I could.. Now.156 - . It was just a dream.. "You're wrong! I do want her! Give her back to me! Tell me where she is!" I sank down to my knees.." I whispered "I was so scared. "Bella. please don't ever leave me again. I needed to see her.. "Are you ok. Edward gently lowered Charlotte into my arms and relief swept through my body. I need to know that. She had been crying too. Please I have to see her... I could hear her soft whimpers." I heard the whispered voice tell me. Edward kissed my forehead and wrapped an arm around my shoulder. and swept a piece of hair out of my face. "Oh thank god.. In the corner I spied Edward cooing Charlotte. love?" he asked gently. I just want my baby.... I felt a pair of soft arms around me. . and as he came closer I could see her face. I didn't ever want to lose her.. I shook off her affections and stood up off the bed to look around the room.. It can't have been. it was so real. I was choking on my words. she was gone." I begged Charlotte even though she probably had no idea what I was talking about. "Bella.. sobbing painfully.. honey. Edward started to walk toward me. and a hole opened beneath me." I heard my mom say before walking out the door and closing it gently behind her.." I couldn't finish my sentence. "Charlotte. nothing below me. and I sat up so quickly my head started to spin. I couldn't move it. "Please.I tried to hit the person. "Where is she?" I panted out. so I just nodded mutely. It was a sea of gray. Mom kissed my forehead. It's ok. I didn't want to forget.." The floor started to shake. I'll be downstairs when you're ready to come down.. There was nothing around me. It was red. but my arm was heavy.. My eyes shot opened. I started falling into complete nothingness.

. That's right. trust me.. I'm still giving out teasers for reviews.. I'll love you back with teasers.. Please leave me love. A dream like that's so scary.157 - . What did you think? I promise we'll hear from Edward next chapter. poor Bella. .AN – sheebus.

I didn't get to eat as much chocolate. I rocked Charlotte gently as she cried. crying out for Charlotte. Just as I went to comfort Bella. that it was just a dream. It broke my heart. But Bella continued to look around for Charlotte. totes awesome. my heart was ripping itself apart. favourite review for last chapter goes to a new reviewer. Renee held her up to signal me to stay at the doorway and wait a moment. my stomach hated you. whispering that it was ok.. trying desperately to calm her. I had thought she was hurt. but I just couldn't. I wanted to help both of them at the same time. But nothing could ever compare to the pain I felt when I heard the cries of my two girls. She was running her hand over Bella's hair. go read "Sewing the Wounds". but the lovely review. that mommy was fine and that everything would be just fine. she held out her arms. This chica needs more love than she's getting. I tried to wipe the memory of her ear splitting screams. Not only for the cool arse penname. Edward's POV I guided Bella toward to bed while she looked down at Charlotte. and placed my arm around her shoulders in an attempt to reassure her. whispering that it was all ok. Charlotte must've been able to sense the unease in me though. Thank you! I want you to all read and review this. There's so much pain in the world. After a minute Bella jumped off the bed and spotted me standing next to the door. It's in my favourites. I had run up the stairs with Renee to find Bella thrashing in the bed. This was my fiancé. I lowered Charlotte gently into her arms.158 - . . so thanks to people who reviewed last chapter. Charlotte started crying too. sobbing in her sleep. so much to feel. and then. Renee sat on the bed. while I walked from the room with Charlotte in my arms. I thought Charlotte was hurt.Embarrassing AN – ok. When I eventually heard Bella's cries calm I walked back into the room to see her sitting up looking around desperately. BronzeHairedMystery.. Rushing over to me. but I didn't so it's all good *wink*. trying to wake Bella. because as Bella's cries continued to filter through the closed doors. So. A bit of a fall in numbers. Fer cereal. I couldn't bear to see her upset. and love of my life.

.. Edward". Edward. compassion.. and talked to Charlotte for an hour while I sat by her side." I took her hands in mine and kissed them both gently. "Today was good. I turned my head toward her and waited for her to continue. We walked down the stairs to find the sitting room empty.. "I told Esme and Carlisle I want to talk to someone. shoulders. I think it'll help. I want to help you. and head. what you're doing already is pretty close to perfect. opening it. whatever.. standing." I nodded." I said. therapist. I suppose just being around when I'm feeding.. Taking a breath I filtered through the emotions that ran through me. I love you... you know that right?" "Of course I know that.. we found everyone the table. Bella stood and walked to the door. with photo albums and loose photos strewn across the table. hanging her head. and picking up Charlotte.... Emmett was looking embarrassed. And I love you too.. they're going to try to set up an appointment for the day after tomorrow. taking a deep breath. Edward. sighing "I'll do whatever I can. walking into the dining room. watching and placing small kisses on her cheek.... fed." I managed to say lamely "when?" "I asked them this morning.. Letting me cry when I need to.. disbelief.... "Ok. a professional.159 - ." I nodded "can I help? I mean. "Shall we?" she said... happiness. and Rosalie was laughing so hard tears were running down her cheeks." she stood up and placed Charlotte back in her crib." Bella said... . I don't know. Hurt. sure you'll see a psychologist." she said quietly.. kissing me gently "we should go downstairs. Carlisle knows a psychologist at the hospital. "Edward." she said quickly.. you seem to be doing a bit better day by day.... but around here..x-x Bella held. "Ok. psychiatrist.. "Oh. before turning to look at me again. relief.. Pride flowed through me as I watched....

Way. you mean this one?" she cut me off. "Oh come on."What are you guys doing?" Bella asked. Edward. Bella gets to see that. "Yeah..." . I whispered "I promise I will never let anyone inflict this much embarrassment on you. jumping out of her chair and running over to Bella.. please don't." "Oh.160 - . "But. "You. My mouth hung open wide. "I was three! I don't think the why was going through my head at the time!" I buried my head in my hands." Dad piped up from across the table. "Oh my gosh. "No." Emmett snapped.. laughing. shaking her head incredulously. you'll have just as much fun embarrassing her with funny photos. Emmett had gone to the bin when he was about a year and a half out and gotten an empty bottle of wine out. this was worse.. "He what?" Alice asked.. and sitting in the chair closest to it... shut up. You guys have to see this!" Rosalie gasped through laughter. pretending to drink out of it. When Charlotte is older. "Bella. Not the one with. ever. You have to admit peeing on the cat is a little bit funny. pulling one out of under a pile of others and handing it to Bella. If Rosalie got to see the one of my asleep naked with a bottle of wine in my hand. fastening the straps. This though." I walked over to Charlotte's rocker and placed her in. No! Mom. peed on the cat?" Bella asked.. Looking down at Charlotte who had woken up and was looking up at my face now in wonder.. Bella and I walked closer to the table to see embarrassing childhood photos of Emmett. obviously not so glad that Rosalie had seen that photo." "Edward.. why?" Bella asked still laughing. Jasper and I. I watched Bella's face and she comprehended what was happening in the photo. mentally cursing my mother for showing Bella that photo.. Please. who had a wary look on her face.

" Carlisle said "anyone want to see that?" Seeing this as the perfect opportunity for revenge. filtering through photos. dad" I said. Looking at it. "I think I have one of Renee in here somewhere too. whose eyes now resembled saucers. "No! No no no no no!" Bella said. I have a funny photo of Esme here. holding out my hands. running out of the room after Esme. Children are strange. "I have to. desperately trying to grab at the photo that Renee had just passed me. REVIEWS = TEASERS.161 - . My head shot up.." Renee said. "You know." I teased and watched as a blush crept over Bella's face "whose dog is this any way?" "A neighbour's. before picking up one.. I piped up "I'd love to. AN – LMAO."We brought some of Bella.. my mouth fell open wide." Charlie said.. grinning evilly at Bella. too" Renee said.. Can I just say that shit happens? I've been embarrassed way too many times by parents. "Show!" I said. "I have to go check on the roast. peeing on a cat is nothing compared to this! Bella. The peeing on the cat was something my brother did once.. "Ok. and a grin spread over my face. before I belted out a laughter that would rival Emmett.. So." Charlie said. you never told me you enjoyed riding animals. and I will give you a teaser.. . review." Esme said timidly before running out of the room. go help Esme. This is going to be good. almost smiling. It happens. Naked.

162 - . cos I couldn't choose. . He cheers for me. you'll find it in my favourites. Ok. sliding one toward Renee. thank you! You made me laugh my arse off for hours.) mwahaha. and I am wiped now. Standing back up. Until Carlisle found the photo of me. to everyone who shared their hilarious baby moments. Esme's POV I rushed into the kitchen.. hmmm) by angelbaby696 and Cleo's Cooper. I posted this a day earlier than planned so that she will hopefully get to read it before she goes away. grant me the beauty of SLEEP.. Favourite reviews last chapter are (I picked two. desperate to get away from the photos being passed around. but here is the chapter. Renee took the glass gratefully and lifted it to her lips. Pompoms and miniskirts and all . He's totes my moral support. It was great! And one more thing. I crouched down and peered into the oven to keep up the pretence of checking on the roast in case someone came in. I knew it wasn't done yet.. I love it. you made my day with your amazing reviews. I swear the coin I flipped landed on its side.. and I really hope you like it. I grabbed the bottle of wine and poured a bit into two glasses. Also. "How bad is the one of you?" she asked. Thank you girls. smiling a bit. "They got you too did they?" I said.Fever AN – dear god. taking a long sip. Hope you like. It's awesome. Although I might've been hallucinating. It was all fun and games. welcome to all the newcomers I've been getting! :D LAST THING I SWEAR – god read Sewing the Wounds. saying "you're going to need it". I was startled to see Renee all but running into the kitchen with a flustered look on her face. before placing it back down and sighing. so it's 2:30am. laughing. This is dedicated to alicecullenobsessed. Thanks to PhilCaspar for staying awake with me to get this posted.

One thing led to another. Edward would have been 5 or so at the time. but she came to Carlisle and I this morning after snapping at Alice. gulping down what was left in my glass.. but I think I might have been one of the people who went a little over bored with the bright pink latex leggings. but I knew any answers I could give her would upset her further. Lord knows she could use you right now.Laughing again. that. "I'm really sorry. Renee patted my shoulder comfortingly "it's ok. We all know the fashion then left something to be desired.. She was claiming that she was Santa" Renee sighed "so. I've never been fantastic at emotional support". she's not doing great.163 - .. . and asked to see a therapist" I sighed. "Horrible. embarrassed. I can't tell you anything else. We have naked photos of them to show to anyone and everyone if we want. and fluorescent shirts. "It's of me when I was 20." I finished. and all over her face. "Oh dear. I managed to take down the pool chair with me. I took a long sip.. how's she doing? I get the feeling things aren't fantastic at the moment. and I was on top of a bar. Renee. rolling my eyes "and yours?" Renee replied by shuddering. when Bella was ready. and started to chop up some vegetables as we talked. and I fell in the pool. but it's more than unflattering.. It doesn't sound that bad.. "A therapist?" Renee exclaimed "It's that bad? Why didn't she tell me? I'm her mother! She should be able to talk to me!" I took a deep breath.. It's not my place to. I wasn't normally cowardly. She's getting a little better day by day though. I thought it would be a fantastic idea for Carlisle and I to go out with some friends for the evening." I replied. I'm a little bit worried. closing her eyes.. dancing" Renee said.. Like bath photos. Renee was obviously upset. and turned to busy myself by looking in the cupboards for seasoning. followed by laughter. "Yeah." I trailed off." I said "mine is of me when I was about 30. Perhaps you could talk to her a little later on.. mimicking Renee. but I knew what Renee must be feeling. There's a photo of Bella in the bath with bubbles stacked on top of her head. I would feel the same way. This was something Bella needed to tell her about.

Edward looked between us meaningfully. Why we were having a salad when it was freezing outside was beyond me. "So. He lent over and whispered in my ear "what's worrying you. I picked a banana from the bowl in the centre of the small table. "Come. Once she was awake she looked up at me. Esme looked at the clock. I went and sat at the kitchen table. Have a banana if you're hungry. I stood with him." he said.." the mother in her came out. giving a gentle squeeze. standing. and I was torn between laughing at her awkwardness or being touched by the concern she was . with a nearly empty bottle of wine between the. and rushed over to coo over Charlotte. laughing. Edward sitting next to me. standing around the kitchen bench. with Charlotte asleep in her rocker between us. was Mom and Esme. Of course it was Edward. I smiled down at her. and whispered "nothing" patting his hand in reassurance. and picked up Charlotte gently. love?" I shook my head. and my heart lifted slightly. There. how are you going sweetheart?" my mom started awkwardly. Shaking my head and laughing. and placed it on my leg. fed faced. I glanced at the clock. and he saw straight through my lies. and I worked hard to tell myself they weren't talking about me. cradling her in my arms and rocking her as she woke up slowly. but far too disturbing.164 - . but each to their own I suppose. Edward reached his hand over. "How's dinner going?" I asked as my stomach grumbled. And it was all dished out in horrible fashion and pool furniture. before looking up and walking into the kitchen. helping me chop up the pumpkin. Bella's POV Edward and I sat next to each other at the table..Renee just nodded. and picked up a knife. Mom came and sat at the table. and walking over to Esme to help her make a salad. Basically just things we didn't need to know about our parents. Mom and Esme had been in the kitchen for nearly an hour now. Esme beamed when she saw me. and I couldn't help but giggle. The photos of our respective mothers were hilarious. "It'll be about fifteen more minutes. and opened the oven to check something. on. before standing up. and I couldn't help but wonder what they were discussing. Let's go into the kitchen. Shaking my head. The paranoia in me hit me immediately. handing Charlotte to Mom. and taking Charlotte into his arms.

Mom and Dad went home a few minutes ago. I picked one up.. I was starting to get a bit sleepy when I ran my finger over Charlottes forehead. but sugar-coating things a little bit "erm. Her forehead. but then I noticed the lack of surprise on her face. She hadn't cried for her feed yet." I nodded. and tossed it in my mouth. My baby was running a fever and was drowsy. I'm seeing a therapist later this week. "Mmm. Smiling at him.. "What's wrong?" "Edward. but they're getting better. "I'm going ok.showing. "Yeah. a panicked look on her face. not lying completely. We were just talking and it came out." I said. I did. and Edward turned to me quickly.. It had always been awkward talking to my parents about emotional issues." I threw in before I could censor myself. rubbing my forehead a little bit as a headache came over me. and wondered if I had imagined it... Mom opened her mouth slightly to say something. I gasped. I paused. and normally I would have fed her over two hours ago. Please don't get mad at Esme. "But you already knew that. AN .165 - ." Mom said "I'm glad you asked for help though. I suppose. didn't you? I suppose I didn't really expect you to not find out.. as Esme and Carlisle cleaned the kitchen. you're so good to me.." I said.. x-x After dinner Edward and I sat on the couch. and took a bite of banana. She's hot.*gasp* What do you think is wrong! Tell me your theories! REVIEW FOR TEASERS! .. winking at him as he leant down to give me a soft kiss. just as Edward came over with a bowl of dried apricots. unsure of what to say. sorry. savouring the tangy taste.. Thing's have been hard. and everyone else had gone to their respective rooms to 'talk'.." I said. My heart sped up as I placed two fingers on her forehead. terrified." I said.. I started slapping myself mentally.

Edward.Take A Seat AN – I do apologise for the slightly longer gap between updates." I said gently. It could be an infection of any kind. Bella had tears in her eyes as she started to stand up." We started walking out of the room only to find Carlisle walking past the doorway. CONTEST INFORMATION – A few friends and I (The Peenaters) are holding an Alice/Jasper smut writing contest. She was warmer than usual." she said quietly. what do we do?" Bella asked in a panicked voice. I wanted to calm her down. Perhaps it was simply that we were knew parents and were worrying over everything little thing. I think I sent everyone their teaser. "Carlisle!" Bella called out urgently. Biting my lip I ran through the list of possibilities. "This is my fault. I'm being punished. Link to the details is at the top of my profile. and I'm glad you enjoyed the chapters you got to catch up on from your time away! Edward's POV "She does?" My heart started racing and I reached a hand out to feel Charlotte's forehead. Please check it out! Shout out to chatterly. You'll know who you are by the end of this chapter. "Edward. She could just have a cold. Welcome back bb! Thank you for your review. So congratulations. It's probably nothing anyway. we'll get Carlisle. but truthfully I was just as scared. I promise you it's not your fault. "Come with me. the tears starting to fall. He turned around and looked at us.166 - . If not. although it's a bit early and she hasn't really been exposed to anything. I placed a hand gently on her shoulder and said "Bella. but I just didn't want to take that risked. you have nothing to be punished for. I apologise profusely. I have to say I think one or two of you got the answer to Charlotte's fever right. .

son. and took Charlotte from Bella's arms. "Perfect."What's the matter. "Follow me. "You're going to have to take her diaper off too in a few minutes. Carlisle turned around with a thermometer in his hand. It's the most reliable way of taking a newborn's temperature." Carlisle said as he put on a pair of latex gloves. "Bella." Squeezing a little bit of lubricant onto the thermometer. "Try soothing her. although small whimpers still came. although it might be uncomfortable. Just as I was about to ask Carlisle to stop. "Ok Bella. It shouldn't hurt her. and Carlisle removed it. Carlisle slid the thermometer into Charlotte's rectum slowly. I have to take a rectal temperature. and took off her pink jumpsuit that said "Daddy's Princess". Charlotte started to cry. Three quick beeps came from the thermometer." After a few minutes Carlisle instructed Bella to remove Charlotte's diaper. I watched his face. Bella?" Bella opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. I need you to support her head with one hand. and my heart started to race as he frowned. "It's ok. and I wanted to tell Carlisle to stop. and she started to relax a bit.167 - . he spoke. Instead I said "Charlotte's got a bit of a fever. and to place her face down across her lap. Carlisle smiled gently. we were wondering if you could take a look at her for us?" Carlisle smiled gently." Bella hummed "Lullaby for a Stormy Night" to Charlotte." Taking Bella's hand we walked to Carlisle's study where he kept his medical kit. "Why?" Bella and I asked at the same time. "What is it?" . I knelt in front of Charlotte's face. and gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead. and firmly place your other hand on the base of her back. would you mind undressing her while I set this up?" Carlisle asked as he opened the black case that you might see on old television shows with a doctor who did house calls. Talk to her gently. We really do need to find out what her temperature is." Bella did this and Carlisle smiled at her comfortingly. and placed a hand on my shoulder. Bella gently unwrapped the fabric around Charlotte.

" Bella's POV Charlotte's temperature reading had only calmed me slightly. this is my son. and Carlisle. but I would really like to keep an eye on it over night and take her in to see the paediatrician first thing tomorrow morning. telling me that it was my choice. Dr. I couldn't cause my daughter any sort of discomfort or pain. "Come on. and I was constantly worrying. but it didn't get any higher until breakfast the next morning. shaking Carlisle's hand. She was in nothing but her diaper. this is an old friend of mine. Within ten minutes we were sitting in the paediatric ward. placing it back in its casing. It hit 100 degrees. He kept reassuring us that these things happen. Suddenly the door opened and an older doctor walked in. We may as well get some sleep while we can. I couldn't do that to her. jotting something down on a piece of paper. Her temperature didn't drop. Edward threw out the rest of his toast. Edward. "Of course." Carlisle cleaned and disinfected the thermometer. "Try to wrap her lightly. it's probably not serious. I knew he probably understood why I didn't want to do that. . It was still high." "What can I help you with today?" he asked.6 degrees…" Carlisle said. and the paediatrician was on his way down to examine her. who shrugged. 'This is all my fault'. Wells." he said. and his fiancé. but I couldn't. nodding. "Do you want me to tell you how to take her temperature.168 - . "Bella. Edward. I looked at Charlotte who was starting to doze off in Bella's arms. or that if it does mean something. I tried desperately to believe him. who was already awake and dressed. or would you rather wake me up every time Charlotte's awake for a feed?" I looked at Bella. "It's not terribly high. Every time she cried I was pulled out a restless sleep. It's going to be a long night."99. helped us get our things in the car and head to the emergency department. with Charlotte in a tiny cot." Carlisle stood up and gave me a hug and Bella a gentle touch on the shoulder before leaving the room. "Would you be able to do it?" I asked him. Bella redressed Charlotte and stood up with her in her arms. The one thought kept running through my head. that it probably means nothing.

It had been relatively stable all night before that." Edward stepped toward Charlotte's cot and reached down to touch her hand. I felt like the breath had been knocked out of me. Wells." Carlisle looked at me. after that. than adults do. But newborns have a much higher pain threshold. if that's ok with you. maybe a couple of hours on the tests. only adding to my anxiety. and squeezed my hand reassuringly." My hand automatically squeezed Edward's tighter. Charlotte cried a bit. Wells nodded at Edward and me before leaving the room. After the nurse took the blood and urine sample (during which Charlotte only fussed a little). and Carlisle motioned for me to take a seat. Edward stepped out of the room.169 - ." He wrote something down quickly. She's been feeding a little bit less often than usual though. yes."Our daughter. her temperature hit 100 degrees about half an hour ago. and placed the chart back next to the cot. "Not particularly. How long will those take?" "A nurse should come in soon to take some blood. or wait a week for the next available appointment. and picked up a pen and the Charlotte's chart. and the urine sample. "The best way to get urine from a newborn is to insert a needle directly into the bladder. Edward and I sat in the chairs and paced the room." Edward nodded. and I stared at the Dr. "Has she been fussing at all? Showing any signs of pain?" I thought about it for a moment. It was today. but I didn't . I'd also like to get a urine culture. "Won't that hurt her?" "It probably will hurt a little bit. I knew that I was going to do this. After about two hours Carlisle. "I've organised for you to see the psychologist this afternoon. x-x The wait was agonising. looking at the doctor trying to gauge his reaction. who had gone to do something else. for the most part. "Ok then. and came up with nothing." Dr. "I'm going to order a couple of blood tests. came in and asked to speak to me for a moment. He nodded." I said.

and anxious. leaving one hand resting on the side of the cot where Charlotte lay.1 now. leaning back in his chair. "What did the results say?" Dr. I suppose in a way it was good that it was today. Wells took Charlotte's temperature one more time." x-x . Wells smiled. wringing my hands together. I think getting it all off your chest will help. and smiled. I'd like to take her temperature one more time." Letting out the breath I'd been holding I nodded. upset." Dr.think that it would be for another couple of days." Carlisle said. and Edward entered with Dr. "You'll probably just go through some routine stuff. "It's 99. Newborns aren't as able to regulate body temperature as older children and adults are. Wells. too many layers.170 - . My heart started racing again. "Thank you. "Ok… what time?" Carlisle glanced at a piece of paper in his hand. The progress I had made yesterday seemed to be slipping away quickly. "What should I expect? What are they going to ask me?" I asked Carlisle. The initial tests of the urine were clean. and provided her temperature is decreasing. because quite honestly I was scared. and my stomach felt like it was trying to dispel what little I had eaten that day. "2pm. I stood and started to pace the room. "There was no sign of infection. I felt Edward's arm wrap around my shoulders. Most of all it will give you a change to talk to someone detached from the entire situation. I'm happy to discharge your daughter if you are. There was a knock on the door. Taking a deep breath I nodded. I'd be inclined to say she's healthy. You might have to fill in a couple of questionnaires about how you've been feeling over the past little while." Glancing at my watch I saw that it was nearly midday. Nodding. Perhaps she was wrapped too tightly. or perhaps the heating was on too high. and I leaned into his embrace.

love." I whispered. I have an appointment that Carlisle Cullen made for me." "I love you too. Please review. Two lava lamps resided on the bookshelf." Edward reassured me as I stood outside the door to the psychologist's office." I looked around what I could see of the office. I love you. or at least calm down about this whole situation a little bit. "It'll be ok. "I'm Elizabeth. Eccentric was one way to put it. as Edward had pointed out in his attempts to make me laugh. "Oh. it was an interesting last name. there was a couch with wool throws over it and a couple of cushions. I'll be right here when you finish."I'll be just down the hall with Charlotte if you need anything. After a few moments it was opened by a frazzled looking woman with a heap of documents in her arms. Remember REVIEW = TEASER. . As always. "Take a seat. of course! Come in!" The woman stuck out her hand. before turning to knock on the door.171 - . I kissed Charlotte's forehead. "Um… hi? I'm Bella… Swan." AN – a longer chapter as a sorry for taking a couple days longer to update." I took her hand hesitantly before she motioned toward the couch. and Edward caressed my lips gently with his. Elizabeth Lubor.

I wanted to tell it to come to a damn decision. PhilCasper. When I was up. As I said in my review replies. and pulled out a folder that seemed empty. constructive criticism is good. so I apologise. I was working without the internet while writing that... While I was deliberating on what to do. Best review last chapter. so the calculations were entirely from my memory of grade 8 math. so you're safe! MASSIVE PROPS to my man down under (that sounds way dirtier than what it actually means). I had always imagined a Freudian . Elizabeth sat down on the chair in front of me. I can't. You blew me away with all your kind words. as long as I'm not PMSing. Which I'm not. If at any point you'd like to see what I'm writing. I wanted to scream back at it. for the most part. has to go to DrTammy1511 for having the balls to tell me I screwed up the temperature. Guys. as well as stop neglecting my other stories. to be a counsellor. telling me to ignore the other part of it. I felt my stomach do back flips. I have to go. Guys.. thank you soooo much for all your reviews last chapter. "I'm going to be taking notes throughout the session. NO! My mind yelled at me." I nodded at her. like me. He's studying. and looked around the room. on with teh chapter! Bella's POV Taking a seat. so thank you Phil for treating me to your expertise and know-how! Sorry about the wait on this. I had RL stuff to do. I made a few mistakes with temperature conversions last chapter. So without further ado. and why. I was practically bedridden with the flu for most of the week. I couldn't do this.. for helping me with the counselling session.Talking Can Do A World Of Good AN – holy crappen. I can do that.172 - .

couch, and the rest of it to be a completely sterile place. But the office had warm lighting, and the couch, though old, was comfortable. "How was the ride in today, Bella?" Elizabeth pulled me out of my thoughts. Taking a deep breath, I spent a few moments thinking about my answer to the simplest question. "Actually, I've been here since early this morning. My daughter was a bit sick..." Elizabeth's face didn't seem to register any shock, so I assumed she must've already known. "She's doing a bit better now, I hope?" Nodding I said, "oh yes, she's fine. It was nothing bad in the end. She was just over bundled." I wasn't sure what she'd think of that. What if she thought I was a bad mother because I had put her in too much clothing? I didn't mean to. I spent the next ten seconds fighting off a panic attack. Instead of accusing me of anything though, Elizabeth just smiled and said, "That can happen with young children. How old is she?" "Nearly a week now." I found myself smiling at the thought of my daughter. It didn't seem like nearly a week had passed since she was born. "She's very new then. You must be very proud." Elizabeth smiled at me before writing something down on her pad of paper. "She is beautiful." I thought about Charlotte's soft thin dark brown hair, and her beautiful eyes. She had her father's eyes. "So tell me, Bella. What can I help you with today?" Elizabeth asked the question I had been dreading. This meant we were getting into the hard stuff. I didn't know how to put how I was feeling and what I wanted from this in words. "Um... well..." I hesitated. "Actually, I've been feeling a bit down since Charlotte was born." Elizabeth just nodded her head, and jotted something down on the paper again. "A lot of young mothers can have trouble adapting to a new child. It's a big change in a young woman's life. Not everyone copes as well as others," Elizabeth said. "I suppose," I said while I fiddled with the hem of my shirt. "It's just that sometimes I cry over the smallest things. I want to scream at her sometimes. It just
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seems wrong. I love her, don't get me wrong about that, but sometime's it's like everything is too much..." I immediately felt my chest lighten as I got these words off my chest. Elizabeth didn't write anything down this time. Instead she was looking at me intently, as though what I was saying was the most important thing to her. It was a bit disconcerting. "Do you feel this way about Charlotte all the time?" Thinking about it a bit, I realised that the answer was no. I didn't feel like this all the time "No, not all the time, but a lot of the time. Although it does seem to be getting a litter easier sometimes." "What is it that's getting easier?" "Getting through the moments when I want to scream and cry..." I felt tears starting to form. The feeling of failure fresh in my mind from this morning. "Do you have any good times with Charlotte? Times when you don't feel like screaming or crying?" I didn't even have to think about the answer to that. "Definitely." "Do you know what is different between the times when things are good and the times when things are not?" Elizabeth asked, leaning forward a bit in her seat. "Um..." I stopped to think. I really didn't know what it was that made it easier. "I don't really see any particular difference. I suppose some days I am just more able to deal with everything." "It sounds like you've had a pretty rough week. How do you feel personally? What impact has this had on you, on your health and your peace of mind?" Elizabeth asked while making a note on the paper. "I feel drained. Like no matter how sleep I get I'm never refreshed," I said, picking up a tissue to wipe the tears that now fell. "Is that feeling of being drained always the same each day, or do you sometimes feel a little bit refreshed?" "It's just the same thing, everyday." I could slowly feel myself becoming more comfortable talking with Elizabeth. I had
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expected it to take longer, but so far she seemed as though she really died care about what I was saying. "Well I'm glad you came to see me so soon, Bella," she said with a smile. "It sounds like you're in a bad place just now, but I think we can help you get through this. Bella, are there any other people in your life who know what you have told me?" I thought about it a bit. There was Edward, but I hadn't told him everything. Esme... she seemed to understand, and I had told her most of it. "Edward, my fiancé, knows some of it... although I'm not sure he completely realises how bad it feels. I suppose Esme, Edward's mother, would know the best..." "And what about your own mother? Other family or friends? How much do they know?" She asked. "My mother knows I'm seeing someone. And so do my other friends. But I haven't really told them the details." "How comfortable do you feel talking about this with them? Do you think they'll be willing to help you through this too?" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. The idea of talking to other people about this was nerve racking. But I could see why she was suggesting it... I think. "Maybe I could talk to Alice a bit. She's Jasper's, that's Edward's brother, girlfriend. She is also probably one of my best friends, I suppose." "It helps to have people to confide in, Bella. People you can talk to other than me. We might even be able to bring some of them in here in future, if you are willing, to help us put together a plan for the next few months." "Ok... I suppose I could do that. What sort of plan do you mean?" I was confused. I didn't know what sort of plan she meant. Was it to do with me? Or looking after Charlotte? Both? Did she want me to part with Charlotte? "Well you still have a child to care for Bella and i'm sure you want the best for Charlotte as well as yourself, yes?" I felt myself start to become angry. "Yes, of course. I wasn't saying that I didn't..."
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"I know you weren't Bella," Elizabeth said calmly. "The plan I was referring to is how the important people in your life would aid you in caring for Charlotte and supporting you when you need it. That way we can work on making you better, and ensure that Charlotte is well cared for as well." "Ok..." I said lamely, not sure what else I could say. "Do you have anything you would like to ask me?" I thought, trying to figure out if there was something I was meant to be asking. My emotions were so strong that logical thinking seemed impossible. I spent a few moments trying to calm myself and collect my thoughts before I answered. Once I had decided that I really didn't think there was anything else, I answered. "Not really..." "Has this been useful for you, coming in here today?" I smiled, and answered, "I think it's given me a bit of hope..." Elizabeth seemed pleased. "That's good. We'll make another appointment to meet in a few days in a moment." She paused to write something down again. "What I'd also like to do is to arrange a few tests for you, bloods and such, just to discount any biological causes for your feelings and to get a better idea of what's going on. We should have the results next time you come in. How does that sound?" "Um... yeah... bloods are fine... What sort of biological things could there be to explain this?" I'm sure my confusion showed on my face. "It's just a precaution. There's no sense going through an involved process with me if it turns out to be something simple to solve, yes?" Elizabeth smiled at me gently. "There are certain things that can contribute to your feelings as well vitamin/mineral deficiencies, hormonal imbalances, and so on. Having this information will help us map out the best way to proceed. You don't need to worry; you're in safe hands here." I believed her, and smiled back. It felt good to be able to smile. "Ok... yeah we can do that," I answered her original question. Elizabeth got out a card and said, "Let's make that appointment then, shall we? "Yeah, that sounds good," I said as Elizabeth flipped through her diary to the 29th
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Cos I give out like that ." I said quietly. taking the card from her outstretched hand.of December.. Feel free to bring someone along. on the 29th?" I nodded. "Are you free for an hour at 11a.m.) . and she wrote down the date and time on her card.." AN – whatcha think? As always. "Good luck.. "I'll see you then. Bella.. but you don't have to." Elizabeth walked me to the door and placed a hand on my shoulder. "You can just meet me here again then. REVIEWS = TEASERS." "Thank you.177 - .

Bella?" Carlisle indicated to turn onto the road leading to the house.178 - . but it wasn't awkward.. Charlotte had been fussing while I was with Elizabeth. No one spoke.." "Well that's good. Best review last chapter – Quisler. and went to say more. I was glad when we pulled into the driveway. Carlisle smiled at me in the rear view mirror. Edward's arm was tight around my shoulders. Elizabeth was very nice." he said." Carlisle looked at me again. I do feel a little bit better. "Nothing. I've been told she's good at what she does though. I suppose talking helped a bit. "You're smiling at her.. "What's got you so happy?" I asked teasingly. The drive back home was relaxed. As we started to near home. like you feel a little lighter.. but never really had a proper conversation with her. and I nodded at him. "Ready to go?" Carlisle clapped his hands together. you know? You seem so much lighter after that session. "It does. I've spoken to her a few times. just a thank you all for your wonderful reviews last chapter.. and I could feel his smile against my hair as he kissed my head gently. He waved goodbye to him.. "How did it go today. still smiling. does that make any sense?" I looked up at Edward. and Carlisle came out with a colleague laughing after something. Read it to see why :P Bella's POV Edward and I waited to meet Carlisle outside the staff cafeteria of the hospital. smiling. and turned to face us." I smiled at him. and it was good to have my baby back in my arms. It's not that I didn't want to talk . "Good. but the cafeteria door opened.Belief in Promises AN – No long AN this chapter. and we followed him out to the car.

179 - . but Bella smacked my hand away and broke the kiss. I wasn't sure where she was taking this. I was mentally cursing the doctors for saying I should wait six weeks before having sex. I smiled. "Did you want to have a nap. I grinned to myself as he slid into bed next to me. Of course that doesn't mean I can't please him in other ways. I ran my tongue along his neck down to his collar bone. Edward looked at me. "I'd love a nap. where I nibbled softly. and I felt my breath hitch. But I couldn't suppress a groan when she nibbled at my collar bone. and hoped to get Charlotte upstairs and into her crib without waking her. They stopped to tangle themselves in her hair. Charlotte was asleep within minutes. Edward's POV Bella's tongue running along my neck made my cock turn instantly rigid. I went to move my left hand to her breast. Edward.. and I leant down to kiss his neck. love?" Edward asked. "No way in hell. but perhaps you could come with me? Charlotte looks like she's ready to sleep after a feed. I propped myself up on my elbow and let my gaze fall to his bare chest.about it. Hopefully then both Edward and I could have a few hours sleep." I smiled at Edward. I looked at her questioningly." Edward grinned and nodded. This man really was a god. relieved. Her lips moved against mine and my hands travelled lightly up her body from her waist.." Bella grinned at . I slipped off my jeans and slid into bed. "I don't mind staying up to look after her. and I couldn't resist flipping her over and kissing her. I felt Bella giggled against my skin. I want to please you. Edward came out of the bathroom in just his boxer. This is about you. wondering what was wrong. We made our way into the house and upstairs. making Bella moan into my mouth. I fed Charlotte and changed her. and didn't want to push her. I was simply exhausted. After burping. Edward stepped out of the car and took Charlotte out of my arms so I could pick up her diaper bag.

My hands found themselves tangling in Bella's hair gently. not pushing. I hissed as she ran the point of her tongue from the base to the tip of my cock. she positioned herself on her knees between my legs and bent down." Bella said. "Whatever you say. sucking her way down and back up again. and pulled them down agonizingly slowly. I pulled her into my arms and ran my hands through her hair. Swallowing. She pressed one palm against my erection through the fabric.180 - . and automatically my grip tightened. just enjoying the feel of her hair as she moved her mouth up and down my shaft. Bella…" I groaned as she took me in her mouth. pressing her body against mine. "Let me please you. grinning at me. milky my cock. kissing her roughly. smiling at me and lying down next to me." With that I grabbed Bella's shoulders and pulled her to me. It took all my will power not to thrust up against her. I knew that if she kept this up I wasn't going to last long. "Fuck. The comforter fell off her shoulders to reveal she was only wearing a t-shirt and a pair of panties." I growled into her mouth. and before I could pull out I had exploded into her mouth. Bella started moving her head up and down faster in response to my hands in her hair. and back down again. When she finally got them down.me. "What are you thanking me for?" I asked incredulously. She sucked harder and faster. . "Thank you love. Bella. Her hum's and the movement of her mouth and hands made my balls start to tighten. Bella sat up and reached for the glass of water on the nightstand. My cock twitched. and took the opportunity of my shock to push my back over so I was lying on my back with Bella straddling my hips. unable to suppress the groans as I felt my orgasm grow closer. my love. My hips bucked against her hand and she grinned up at me. "Ung… fuck!" I groaned as Bella scraped her teeth lightly along my shaft. and I started to thrust up into her mouth. I sucked in a deep breath when she licked at the skin just above my boxers. Bella hummed as she used her hand to rub the base of my cock she couldn't fit in her mouth. Bella grabbed my balls in her free hands and rolled them around in her palm. Bella leaned down and whispered in my ear. Bella kissed down my chest. She slid one hands beneath the elastic of my boxers. "Fuck!" I moaned as Bella continued sucking.

Bella. throwing on a pair of jeans and a shirt quickly. Glancing at the clock I saw it was just coming up to 6p. let's see if we've got a bottle for you in the fridge. I really wanted to do that. I picked up Charlotte from her crib and rocked her gently. resting her head on my chest." I placed the half empty bottle on the counter and grabbed the nearest clean wash cloth." She said. you hungry?" Leaning back against the counter I coaxed the teat into Charlotte's mouth." I kissed her hair and smiled. "I'm sure you would. slinging it over my shoulder. I know how… selfless… you can be. and watched as she began to suckle. but Charlotte continued to cry. I grabbed a bottle out of the fridge and stick it in the microwave for 15 seconds. "I'd be willing to be less selfless. I grabbed it out and poured a drop on my wrist. "Come on. I gave her a gentle kiss and stroked her cheek. Bella whacked my chest lightly. "You gonna spit up on daddy?" I teased as I started patting her back gently. I heard soft footsteps and the door of the kitchen swung open to reveal a bedraggled looking Bella. "Well shit. Prying my eyes open I looked around to see Bella still sleeping soundly next to me. I held the bottle in her mouth until she started spitting it out again." I continued to rock her. I smiled as I watched her drink. I walked down the stairs and into the empty kitchen. I looked over at Bella to see her starting to stir. Charlotte's cries filled the room. "Shh… Princess. Edward. "I love you…" "And I love you. baby girl. "Ok." I joked. ok. That was amazing. I get it. Get some sleep while we can love…" she said tilting her head up to look at me."Letting me please you.m. Smiling at the fact Bella had gotten at least a few hours solid sleep. I chuckled as she started squirming.181 - ." I whispered to Charlotte and walked out of the room quietly. Mommy is sleeping." x-x A cry woke me from my slumber. "Ok. . Sighing. I stretched and slid out of bed.

I'll hang a bell around my neck next time. "I'll go find Jasper." Bella giggled as Alice walked up to us. I'll be fine without playing with colours and fabrics with Alice. only parents could find that cute. "Holy crap Alice. "Good girl." I said." I heard a voice behind me say. "Oh shit…" I muttered. My sentiments exactly. "You can come help us if you want!" "Oh god no." Alice glared at me. love. kissing Bella's forehead and doing the same to Charlotte." Bella shuddered exaggeratingly and giggled a little. stroking Charlotte's cheek gently. Bella… I was thinking…" Alice said slowly. "Can I hold the angel?" Alice asked. I nodded and was about to say something just as Charlotte burped and I felt warmth seeping through the cloth." Bella just grunted and walked over to the tap to get herself a glass of water. When she had woken up a bit more she turned around to look at Charlotte and me. could you possibly make some sort of noise when you're walking so people know you're coming?" Bella said. "So." I cooed as Bella took Charlotte from me so that I could clean myself up. "Fine. I was thinking maybe if you're up to it we could do some wedding planning?" Bella looked at me. and passed Charlotte to Alice. Bella nodded. rubbing her eyes. . making me jump. "You know. "Oh shut it. "As I was saying.182 - ."Evening. Edward. "Did she wake up?" Bella asked. earning myself a muffled giggle from Bella.

There was no way I was getting out of this." I begged her as she sat on the couch. "Emmett Cullen! So help me god! If you squirt that thing inside one more time I am going to kill you!" we heard Esme yell from somewhere upstairs. Within the clusterfuck of a mess I could make out different bridal magazines.183 - .Bella's POV I followed Alice into the study to find fabric colours strewn around the room. I think I was hit!" Edward said dramatically clutching the wet spot on his chest.." Edward narrowed his eyes at me and stuck out his tongue. "Alice. x-x The rest of the evening passed in a flurry of wedding plans nursing Charlotte.. "Thank you. and I got to escape to find Edward. or later. why can't you just pick everything out for me? I promise not to complain. It didn't take long. You don't have a choice in this. trying to squirt Edward from the other end of the hallway. . "Bella. I walked out of the room to find Emmett chasing Edward down the corridor with a water gun that he'd got for Christmas. mom!" Edward held his hands up to the ceiling. Why anyone would think of giving Emmett a water gun is beyond me.. just sit down and hold your daughter. "I'm not sure. grumpily storming off. "Poor baby. It's now. love?" I asked jokingly. and pictures of different floral arrangements. "Are you safe. "I swear she has eyes everywhere!" Emmett said. Why'd they'd give anyone a water gun in the middle of winter is insane. Yet here he was.. Eventually Jasper came to steal back Alice. and I was suddenly overwhelmed by an urge to run away from everything that has to do with fashion." Rolling my eyes I knew she was right. I laughed and walked over to him.

"Edward.. I was thinking we could just have it here... .. rolling my eyes. I lifted my head to look at him.184 - .." I said. wringing my hands nervously. Did I really believe he'd do anything? I knew he wanted to help me. she suggested bringing someone with me next time.. looking at my find..." I trailed off. "That's true. Edward stepped toward me and held my face in his hands.. you know. I'm sure Esme would be ecstatic if she got to redecorate." I took a deep breath. Alice says we need to decide on a place to have it. Elizabeth suggested something today. again." Edward looked up at me intently. I was wondering if. "Bella.. "I love you.. "Um."That's mature. "Bella.." Reluctantly. trying to get me to look at him.... "So how did the planning go? Anything I need to know?" "We've decided on white lilies for the tables at the reception. "Of course I will. then we could just have the reception here as well. but at times I felt alone.. "If I'd come with you?" I nodded. please! Look at me. I think that here would be nice.. There will be daisies for the bridesmaid's bouquets' and a mix of white and light pink roses for mine. love. Please tell me you believe that?" I stood there." Edward sighed and let go of my face. telling me to go on with a nod of his head. in spring. anything you want to do. "Come on. I'll go along with it.. well." I laughed and I placed Charlotte in her crib." Edward placed his hand on the small of my back and walked upstairs with me. let's get the actual baby upstairs to bed. to talk about things. What do you think?" "Bella.. Were you actually thinking I wouldn't? I'd do anything to help you. Unable to answer truthfully... I would do anything..

.Bella." AN – please review. .. I just need to know someone is there by my side." I sat on the bed and looked up at him. Reviews = teaser.185 - .. Do you believe that?" I snapped my head back up again to look at him. Edward. not matter what shit happens. Maybe there is nothing you can do to convince me.. that would be fuckawesome. maybe you just need to bear with me... "Of course I believe that! And I love you!" "Then tell me what I have to do to make you believe me?" "I don't know." "Of course I will be here by your side.. "Maybe.. I'd love to make it to 2000 reviews.

Is The Truth Better? AN – Thank you all SO MUCH for helping me get to 2000 reviews. This chapter is about 1000 words longer than the rest. I began to wonder how Edward could've touched me that day while I was bleeding so profusely. for pointing out where else could we give Emmett a water gun but in fanfiction? It's true and it made me laugh so hard. I wiped my cheeks. Bella's POV The next few days passed quickly. and the day after that. I still found it difficult to broach the subject of loneliness. I know he meant nothing bad by them. I suppose he wasn't fazed by it. I was happy that the bleeding was starting to slow.m. I felt tears start to fall as I wrote about feeling so isolated. Enough of my rambling. I wasn't tired. Sighing. followed by my inappropriate frustration and anger when Edward said and did little things. I wanted to make it even longer. Amazingly. I sat on the edge of the bathtub and put my face in my hands. he thought they would help. even though I felt suffocated at the same time. I wrote that part as just a bit of comic relief and I'm so glad everyone found it so funny. if anything.186 - . on with the chapter. I began to write a list of things I wanted to talk about in the session with Elizabeth later today. Smiling in contentment. Best review last chapter FolsomBoogie. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness made the top of the list. But telling me that I was doing better sometimes made me feel like I had something to live up to the next day. but it still required multiple trips to the bathroom. I hope you enjoy this. Eventually Charlotte was quiet and her eyes drooping as sleep began to take over again. I slid out of bed and fed her silently. I stopped writing and snapped my diary shut as I heard footsteps just outside the door. so I walked back into the room. on Thursday morning I found myself waking up as Charlotte's cries began. trying to hide the evidence of my . but I fail. I didn't know where the time went. Something just told me he wouldn't understand. but at 3a. not wanting to wake Edward. I placed her in the crib and walked to the bathroom. I'm freaking ecstatic. Even with Edward's constant reassurances that he was there if I needed to talk. and a soft knock on the nursery door. grabbed my diary. and left the room to sit in the barely used nursery.

I would've said it had been ten minutes. Eventually my eyes started to droop. "I was just writing down some things that I want to talk about today.. It was almost metaphorical. "Fuck it. warm confines of my bed. Like the room was telling me if I keep pushing people away. staring at the beautiful. "Ok. Taking a deep breath. Immediately I felt Edward's warm arm wrap around my waist. eventually I'll just end up completely alone. Take your time. suddenly to room seemed even emptier than it did before. I sat by myself. and slid carefully into the bed.. maybe fifteen. I nodded and held up the diary. . If you were to ask me." Edward bit the inside of his cheek and nodded.. Glancing at the bedside clock." With that.. "Ok. are you coming back to bed?" I resisted the urge to yell at him.. Now the room is telling you things. room that I was sitting in." I muttered to myself. I placed my diary and pen on the bedside table. with Elizabeth there. and my body was begging me to return to the safe.187 - . Despite my internal willing for him to leave.tears and softly said "yeah?" The door opened gently. Minutes passed.. you know. but at the same time I knew he was just thankful that we'd be talking about something. "I'll be in soon.m. "Are you ok?" he asked walking toward me. he left the room.. Bella. pulling me closer to him in my sleep. but at the moment I just wanted to be writing this down. I knew that he almost wished I could just talk to him without having to use a psychologist as a mediator of sorts. I picked up my diary and pen and walked back to the bedroom. Great. I calmed myself.. unused. That's fantastic.. and slowly I felt myself starting to grow tired. love. I'd been up for an hour without realising the time had passed.. and leaned in to kiss my head gently. I saw it was now closer to 4a. ok?" Edward seemed to get the hint. and Edward walked in looked at me worriedly. I know it was irrational to be angry about something so simple.

188 - ..Maybe he is just worried I'll leave. Sorry love.. Esme must've baked them last night. Upon seeing I was awake. Nothing happened." Smiling at his thoughtful gesture. and a plate resting on top of one of them. The sky was black. there was nothing around me as far as the eye could see. Maybe even in his sleep he's scared I'll disappear. I snatched two before Emmett woke up. I feigned sleep as he brushed a lock of hair from my face and gently stroked my cheek. Eventually he left the bed with a sigh. Something he didn't normally do. "Coffee.. I drifted off into an uneasy slumber." he placed the plate free mug next to me on the bedside table... taking a tiny sip. and burning my tongue would ruin the good mood that seemed to be rising. In them I was just standing still. and then continued to beg my mind to let me sleep. maybe he does understand a little bit. and I heard the shower turn on.. No trees. nothing. no houses. and Edward woke. Edward smiled at me and walked over. despite my otherwise emotionally and physically exhausted body. and looked to see Edward walking in with two steaming mugs.m.. I woke again once just after six to feed Charlotte. already knowing the probable answer. and I found a small smile gracing my face. I was glad that she didn't seem to be dreaming of monsters yet. looking up. I'd been craving . "Chocolate chip muffins and hot chocolate for breakfast?" Edward nodded sheepishly. Something about knowing her mind was peaceful made me feel lighter. I heard the door push open again. wrapped up lightly.. His skills at balancing things never ceased to amaze me.. if she was dreaming at all." Edward smiled apologetically at me. "What are you drinking?" I asked. Eventually 8a. and I raised an eyebrow.. "And. Minutes later he walked out of the door.. I sat up in bed looked over to the crib to see my daughter. I would've tripped up the stairs or dropped the plate already. came around. Edward showered quickly and came back in the room to dress.. "Hot chocolate for you. sleeping soundly. chocolate chips muffins!" He grinned at me like the Cheshire cat. "I thought you'd like a muffin. I picked up the hot chocolate and brought the mug to my lips. Maybe. It was still boiling. outside. leaving it slightly ajar behind him. tossing and turning with dreams that did nothing.

A few seconds later.. Charlotte's cries filled the room." Edward had warmed them up.. . x-x Edward and I made our way through the hospital doors. because making our way to the psychology department proved more difficult this time around. So we should leave here at 10:30." I said. grinning. Scowling playfully at him. taking another sip of my hot chocolate.. I picked up one of the muffins and took a bite. but knew it wasn't a great idea to drink it whilst breastfeeding. and it worried her too. "At least the caffeine addiction is way out of my system now. and leaned in to hug me. I'm not sure I can leave her.. making them run into my mouth... Apparently hospitals enjoyed confusing patients. love..coffee since Charlotte's birth.. 11. Attention that was taking away from the little time we got to spend together in the first place.... So what time is this appointment again?" "Um. Charlotte in my arms. I think she could sense my apprehension.189 - . Elizabeth opened the door. "Good?" I nodded at Edward. and the chocolate chips had melted.. looking at the plate. refusing to sleep. Sorry you couldn't have coffee. But. thank you. "Delicious. I was glad we had 10 minutes to spare.. "Mmm.. Are we bringing Charlotte?" "Would you like to?" The thought of being away from Charlotte today scared." Edward nodded his understanding." I shrugged and took another sip. and so I nodded slowly. begging for the attention of her mommy and daddy. not today...." I said softly. Eventually we found ourselves knocking on Elizabeth's office door. "True.. "That's ok. "I. as if on cue.

I mean."Edward." Edward answered quickly." "Ok." Elizabeth looked between Edward and me.. and Elizabeth peered over to look at Charlotte's face." . "They've been. So how have the past few days been for you. He kept track of the time more closely than I did. ups and downs. Bella?" Into the psych shit now. although a date isn't set as of yet.. but I'm still here aren't I?" "And it's great that you're still around." Elizabeth walked in and held the door opened for us before closing it again. And you're engaged now?" I nodded. I've had my ups and downs. "She is indeed." I nodded. how about we start with a little bit about you two.. grinning. okay. I'd almost missed our three year anniversary because I didn't realise the date." She held out her hand with a smile on her face before she turned to me." "Ok. Edward?" Elizabeth looked at Edward. "Ok. but I really was glad he was coming along anyway. I could tell this wasn't his thing. I assume. What about you. "How long have you been together?" "Nearly four years now. I knew he could probably tell her the exact amount of days. it's been hard. "And this must be the little one. It was just something Edward was good at.. "That's a long time for a young couple.. "She is a beauty isn't she?" I smiled back. "How have you been coping the past week?" "I've been doing okay as well.190 - . I'm happy that you decided to come to this appointment today. awkwardly looking around. "We've started planning the wedding. as Bella said. But I'm coping alright.. come in. I suppose. Edward sat next to me on the couch.

Edward looked at me.. and glancing over the list. Charlotte started to stir. mainly because I'm scared to. Bella." Taking a deep breath I tried to calm myself.. Edward wanted to know. Maybe you could start with your feelings about being a new mom?" . I really do." Edward looked into my eyes.." "Ok. Elizabeth shot a look between us. But how could he be so sincere when he didn't know what I thought.. Edward does have a point though. Perhaps you'd like to first tell Edward why you're scared to talk to him about these things?" "Well. I want to tell you. Reaching into my handbag. opening it. I'm scared." Elizabeth shot Edward a stern look. but Edward quickly calmed her." I ran my finger along the line describing how I've been feeling. possibly trying to decide if she needed to intervene.. "Bella. and I saw that he believed his words. I realise we haven't been very good at talking to each other about it... I'm just scared that it's too much.. what I felt? "Ok. "Actually. just let Bella talk. Edward. but I promise there is nothing in this world that could make me run from you. "I think that'd be a good place to start too.. I'd like to explain to Edward some of these things. "Edward. I wrote a few things down."So is there anything is particular you'd like to talk about today?" Elizabeth asked. and I wanted to tell him. I pulled out my diary. That he." "That I won't understand?" Edward exclaimed incredulously.. yet again. "I suppose a good place to start would be emotional stuff. he wanted to understand." I thought for a moment.191 - . Perhaps you should explain to him just how you feel. would you be able to hold Charlotte for a minute?" Edward grinned and gently lifted her from my arms. I'm scared that you'll run. his eyes full of disbelief. I want you to understand. "Edward. so let's move onto something you want to tell him. before turning back to me and smiling. please. Why am I scared to tell him? Is there something in particular? "I suppose that I'm just scared that he won't understand.." Elizabeth nodded..

"I'm scared. I knew I wanted the feelings to stop. "Do you want someone to save you?" Elizabeth asked. Please just let me." "The other day you said you want to get better. but you won't let me. I feel so over my head in everything. frustrated. But what's worse is that I don't . I didn't want to see the pain in his eyes. Now all I want to do is help you. "Edward?" Elizabeth prompted. and no one is coming to save me. I couldn't bring everyone else down with me.. but I don't know how. I also knew that there were days I wish Edward would sweep me up off my feet and make everything better. it breaks my heart. because other people's strength only lasts so long. But I also knew that I had to do most of this myself. "I know you think you're no good with Charlotte. I didn't know. You're amazing.. He was glancing between Charlotte. She is quieter with you than with anyone else." "Bella. when I was weak. I didn't want more guilt." I kept my eyes focused on the page." I brought my eyes up to meet Edward's. reading my diary again. so. Do I? Do I want to be saved or do I just want to drown? I couldn't give an answer.. avoiding looking at Edward. trying to make what I was saying make sense. even though this session was about opening up. This was going to be hard enough without having to explain myself again and again. I definitely wanted that. I didn't want him to see the pain in my eyes. and tired. I whispered. "I don't know.192 - . You've always been so full of life.. My words were clearer when I wrote them down. I suppose that most of all. "Yes.. upset. accepting of everything that happens. I feel like I'm drowning. I want to help Bella. It hurts. asleep in his arms." "I would prefer to be on the ground with you than looking down from above knowing I'm powerless. You were always my strength. would you like Edward to tell you how he feels when he sees you upset?" I nodded again. I had to be my own strength. "Well. And I don't want to bring everyone down with me if it doesn't work... and me.I nodded. Is that still the case?" I nodded. I don't know what to do with myself. I couldn't handle that. but you should see yourself with her..

. Edward?" I asked. "Is there a room around or something I can do this in?" I really didn't like the idea of breastfeeding in public.. and you let me sleep. suffocating. Maybe.. "We can work on that. Because a thousand small gestures feel... I nodded.... and stood to walk out the door. "She needs to be fed." "Ok. I still want to be able to do some of this on my own. He brought me breakfast in bed. "I'd like to have a talk with Edward while you do that.. Charlotte's cry broke through and stopped my thoughts. "Oh.193 - .. Edward's POV . Flicking the latch on my bra. and honestly. and I could hear the tears threatening to fall." "Do you have any ideas on how Edward could help?" "Well. I held Charlotte up and she latched on quickly... I knew it hurt him to know he couldn't make me feel better with a snap of his fingers. "I'll just take her outside for a bit. That was nice." I smiled. My gaze dropped again to Charlotte as I spoke. let alone hundreds of strangers walking the corridors of this hospital. but not all the time. I could barely stomach the thought of Edward looking at my breasts. what he did this morning was really sweet.know what to do to help if you do let me.. I thought it was amazing. The other night you picked up Charlotte when she was crying." Edward's voice was soft. If you walk down the corridor." Edward's voice was laced with sadness. Edward tried rocking her to quiet her but her cries continued. "It's a bit scary in there isn't it?" I whispered to her as she suckled. little things make all the difference. I just don't want you to do everything. I need to help myself as well. chocolate chip muffins and a hot chocolate. silently hoping he would. Would you like to stay here. Like I said. yes. if you don't mind?" Elizabeth said." I said. just small gestures like that. and took Charlotte gently from Edward's arms. I found the restroom and sat on a vinyl chair.. to the left there's a restroom for mothers. It cheered me up... I know a lot of women did that.

Bella and I were sitting on the nursery floor. I woke on the morning of the 1st of January to a sheet of snow covering everything outside. that telling her just how much I was worried." I replied." "But I'm scared that the truth. The next few days passed quickly. I don't want to push her even deeper. Sometimes I want to scream. knowing that if I was apprehensive about it. April 10th. Edward?" Elizabeth asked me. Esme was ecstatic that we had decided to have the wedding here. By 10a. so Bella and I hoped we could have the wedding in the garden. A lot of the time people just want to hear the truth. Charlotte lying between us in her little bassinet staring up at the mobile turning and playing an unidentifiable lullaby. 2010. Bella was likely to be ten times as much.. We set a date for the wedding. It was one of those days that you just wanted to stay in bed and hold the one you loved. and I knew we would both keep our pact. Bella woke not long after I did. maybe it's time that Charlotte sleeps in here?" I broached the subject gently."So how are you coping with this session. Sometimes I get frustrated and tired." "I find looking after Charlotte easy enough.. I'm just marvelling at how Bella and I created a being so beautiful. "It's better that you be open than to just say what you think Bella wants to hear." x-x The session with Elizabeth finished soon after Bella came back. But most of the time. I couldn't stop thinking about the sadness in Bella's eyes as she had admitted how she was feeling. no matter what comes. and the glass fogged up." "I'm just worried of saying the wrong thing. Of course. "You seem a bit uncomfortable. You'd be surprised. vowing to be honest with each other. It would be spring. . would upset her even more. already missing the feel of Bella by my side." "How are you handling everything? Truthfully.194 - . Bella and I brought in the New Year. "Perhaps. The window sill was white. Charlotte quickly followed. and was planning the rearrangement of furniture for the reception already.m. We were both under instructions to talk to each other when we felt upset or if something was worrying us.

" Bella had made progress over the past few days. We'll be able to hear. I'm not sure I'm ready for that just yet. threatening to break her down at any moment.195 - . She'll be just two doors down the hallway from us. but it was clear to anyone that the anxiety and depression still loomed. Review=Teaser..My worried were confirmed as Bella answered.. with probably another 5 or 6 chapters to go. and I love every single review I get. We're in the home stretch now. REVIEW=TEASER . "Okay. I decided to leave the conversation for the moment. She nodded. I don't know. Edward.. For this reason. "I know. Just not yet. please.." "Edward. and the fact I was reluctant to be separated from Charlotte myself. but we both know it has to happen sometime." AN – The story is drawing to a close. Please review. "But what if she cries? What if she needs us Edward?" "We have a baby monitor. Bella.." I said gently.. but once again failed. I tried to think of a witty analogy.

blame her . It has been helping. Oh. back to the therapy. I wasn't ready for the prying eyes of the entire school body. but it's getting easier. I think. It is fantastic having someone I can talk to without fear of judgement. and I certainly didn't want to bring her to school yet. Everyone else has started school again. If I turned up for exams. but it made me think. And a whole lotta work.) *snort* NOT REALLY. I'm still depressed. There was a new headmaster. It all equals a long update time. But yeah. What is the actual age we should move her? I know she's too young. Bella!" My hand faltered. It's tough opening up to him completely. but I still try. yeah. Internet down. although he's only going two days a week to satisfy the headmaster's expectations. She's become a great support. day by day. I was grateful. Elizabeth says it's going to be a slow recovery. I've been talking to Edward more too. He gets it. I can get through a day without crying now. But I can deal with it. I've been going to therapy for the majority of that time. She was letting me stay home and study. even Edward. I'm starting to smile more. for the past three weeks. Anyway. but that I'm doing well. totes awesome. . I lift my hand up to knock just as Alice run's past with a quick "hi. who was a lot more understanding and accepting than the last. If my witty comment at the end sucks. I've told Edward that. I wouldn't say I'm recovered. she was willing to be lenient. But Charlotte's age and her own room has brought me to Carlisle's study door today. Thanks bb. But here it is. Just an apology. I wasn't ready to leave Charlotte for a whole day.. and I walked away with a sigh. I have kept my side of the pact to be honest..196 - . for the most part. and submitted all my assessment. really. Best review goes to andee823 for the comment on how to make funny analogies. and I even laugh (genuinely) occasionally. Some days it's harder than others. Then doc uploader on FF down. Edward told me he'd like to move Charlotte into her own room.Witty Repartee AN – No long AN. twice a week. Bella's POV Charlotte is now a month old.

I know he loves me. The idea makes me cringe. rather than focusing solely on what is bad. He reminded me of an elder. Carlisle was sitting in a leather chair by the bookcase. but I needed something to do with my hands while I was in there. But until then." "Oh?" Carlisle motioned for me to continue.. "Well. For example. but she's growing so quickly! We are going to meet up with my dad for lunch at the diner in Forks. of course.. what age. but when. That's just not the sort of person he is. a loving fiancé.. Also being grateful for what is good... It's so much more than some people have. and waiting for Carlisle to tell me to come in. "Come in. I was wondering if I could talk to you about Charlotte.. After making the hot chocolate... and seeing him once a week is enough for me to feel wanted.Charlie has been making more of an effort over the past couple of weeks. But I'd still recommend waiting a . a wise man from some unknown culture.. lacing this hands in his lap. they plan to take me shopping for new clothes for Charlotte. and I. and. I opened the door slowly and walked in. and seeing if it can be changed. and his supportive family. Elizabeth and I have been working on a type of therapy called radical acceptance and gratitude.. daughter. I knocked. friends who want to see me happy. should we move Charlotte into her own room?" Carlisle nodded.. healthy. an open book in his lap.. it was just Esme. Carlisle has work in the afternoon.197 - . I walked into the kitchen and flicked the switch on the kettle. Hot chocolate was my form of liquid courage. "Um. a beautiful. "Ah.. The thought of Edward always did have a way of making me more courageous. but I know it's hard for him to help emotionally." Carlisle's voice said from inside the room. and I know it's not time yet. I walked slowly to Carlisle's office again. Carlisle. Edward and I have been thinking. Just making sure I realise I do have some good things. She says that doesn't mean I should be discounting the bad things altogether. It made me think of Edward. He looked up. really there's no set date. With everyone being at school today. Taking two deep breathes. a mother and father who love me.. Bella. How can I help you?" he asked. "Well. I knew I had to go back in to have this damned conversation with Carlisle. Basically accepting a situation for what it is.

mom. Nothing I saw suited my little girl. "Oh. in any crazy alternate universe." I turned to walk out the door. Some even recommend waiting a year. But that's just my opinion." I had two outfits slung over my arm. I really think you should ask Elizabeth when you see her again. I didn't want to let Charlotte go yet. x-x "What about this one?" Esme held up a jumpsuit with flowers on it. see Charlotte wearing something with pink and purple frangipanis on it. and Bella?" I stopped and turned to look at him again. and somehow moving her into her own room made me feel like I was putting a huge wall in the way of the progress I'd been making with her.198 - . "You're doing great." "Ok.. Edward and Emmett were in their own rooms by four months. who was being pushed around in her new pram. Jasper took a little longer.." I smiled at him. "I'd say so. I think the progress you're making now is excellent. She must've gotten that from me. unsure of what to say.. as if to tell me 'oh hells no. Experts are divided. Whenever I held up something. thanks. and the undue stress would be. Personally I think that's too long.. I suppressed a shudder and shook my head. detrimental." "So.. you have to pick something. It's really hard. It's not that it wasn't cute.. Charlotte. I just don't think you two are ready for that step yet. she'd wrinkle her nose and start to fuss. You can't make me go out in that!' Damn stubborn child. . Anywhere from three to six months.. you're thinking a couple more months at least?" I can't explain how happy I felt knowing that we should be waiting longer anyway.. neither of which I had chosen. Carlisle nodded again. It's just that I really could not. seemed to have her own mind about the clothes already.couple of months more at least. I nodded and walked out of the room. "Bella.

"See. "No thanks. "I'll pick something. "9 months in the womb. Let's find you some proper clothes. I took a look around. I'll meet you out front of here in half an hour?" "Okay! Have fun!" I placed the outfits slung over my arm back on the stands. "Esme. "I'm going to take Charlotte and go to another little store I saw down the street. "I replaced the dog". this is more like it. It was a stand with jumpsuits.199 - . "I knew I didn't look like a sea monkey". "Come on." After strolling around the pathetically tiny baby's clothes section of the department store. little one. . As I turned around again. Smiling as I walked into the store. something caught my eye. I riffled through and picked out some that I like. Much. with funny sayings on them." I whispered as I leant down to make sure Charlotte was still ok. and finally one that said "this is the oldest I've ever been". much better. dear?" I shook my head. and pushed Charlotte out the front door."Ok! Fine!" I threw my hands in the air. I decided this wasn't the place I was going to find clothes for my little girl. Anything that managed to work a Dirty Dancing quote into the title was okay by me. They said "expensive but worth it". Each of the jumpsuits were various colours of the rainbow." I found the store quickly. None of that trust fund baby crap." "Did you want me to come with you. I can survive anything". Esme turned around. I giggled and placed them over the handle of the pram. Carlisle!" I called out. The huge sign saying "Baby's Got Style" with "No One Put's Baby in the Corner" in smaller letters beneath it kind of gave away its location.

AN – Review for Teaser. Reviews make me happier than fuckawesome baby jumpsuits with witty repartee. .200 - .

I am writing an entry for the Age of Edward contest. I know. so add me to your author alerts if you want to read it when it's up! Edward's POV "Bella. but Bella all but threw me out the door each morning. It hurt to know that I was missing little things. I just want to go to bed. I'm super excited. I'm cranky. "Alice. no. I missed my baby girl and fiancé. But most of my readers aren't from Australia. In all honesty. I wanted to spend every day at home with them. So. I fail. you need to help me with this! I don't want you to be disappointed on your wedding day!" Alice's voice rang around the room as I sat on the couch watching Alice and Bella sort through different wedding plans and bridal magazines. This update took ages. and others with the first few chapters written.. I too. . People have been asking if I plan on writing a sequel. it was just that Alice had taken every night of the past week from her. and Charlotte is finally asleep. Plus. and every minute I was away. yeah. I've been back at school for a week and a bit now. have sucked. that's enough for me. so they won't understand that analogy. the wedding is still months away.201 - . Suffice it to say that my favourite football team has sucked lately and made me sad. As long as Bella is standing before me as my bride-to-be. was getting frustrated. and I am so sorry. I am bombarding all my readers with hugs and chocolate. and made me sad. but it doesn't have to be a lavish ceremony.Come a Long Way AN – Ok. I had lost interest two nights ago. I knew Bella was excited about the wedding. Sorry! VERY IMPORTANT .. I have another 5 stories already in progress on this site. can we please just leave this for tonight? I'm tired. I knew Bella wouldn't be far behind me. obviously. and Alice. ok. I fail harder than the Blues seem to have failed playing the Maroons. Most likely because she knew if she didn't there's no way in hell that I was going to leave." Bella rubbed her face and yawned as she spoke. Bella was looking on with disinterest. We will get married.

. Slowly Bella started to relax and Charlotte stopped squirming. Plus. sweetie. "Let's see." I said softly. I'll figure out Seattle later.. She quickly became more alert as she saw Charlotte crying in my arms. "Do you think you can carry her upstairs without waking her?" Bella asked tiredly. and I felt bad for waking her. wake up love. and her eyes opened slowly. I am going to bed. but there was no more breast milk stored." "Yes." Bella stood and looked at Alice. her tiny face scrunched up and red. "Oh. she was smiling . "You're not doing anything wrong.. we need to set aside a weekend to go into Seattle. "Bella. "But now. "Relax. kissing her temple gently. x-x "Bella. and it was obvious Charlotte needed a feed. But I get to keep you on Sunday.202 - ." Charlotte was crying and nothing I was doing was calming her. love." I swept a strand of hair off her face. come here.. and then down at Charlotte who was sleeping soundly in her carrier.. Bella breathed a sigh of relief and I smiled against her hair. Bella was in a deep sleep.." I said softly. and I could see Bella starting to get more and more distressed. shall we?" I took Bella's hand in mine and we made our way upstairs. Sunday... ok." I whispered against her hair. gently latching on and starting to suckle. She was truly the most perfect thing I'd ever encountered." Bella held her hands out to take Charlotte from my arms.." I whispered as I stroked her back softly. Bella was laughing more.Alice huffed. I picked up the carrier and started walking. I watched as Bella tried to feed Charlotte. Dress shopping. I was so proud of the progress Bella had been making. I could feel her frustration as Charlotte refused to latch on. Little things that I hadn't even noticed before started to improve. Bella. why won't she feed? What am I doing wrong this time?" "Bella. "See? You're perfect. "Fine. the only thing that equalled her was our beautiful daughter.. Bella started to rouse. all the while I made sure to keep a hand on Bella's back." She looked at me. "Edward. She was even clumsier when she was tired.

" I said. "You're so charming. I thought for a moment.. I carefully took the towel to the bathroom and rinsed it out." she teased with a grin. and I grabbed a towel off the night stand and moved behind Bella just in time to place it on her shoulder.. Oh." I pouted at her playfully and she smacked my shoulder. you're going to have to stop that.and coming out of the house with me more often. pressing my body against hers as I kissed her neck gently. Bella yawned as Charlotte stopped feeding. "Mmhmm. but I was more than happy to help her through it. We were going up to see Renee and Phil some time soon. I pulled Bella closer to me. "And if I'm going to wait until then." She pushed on my shoulders gently." I raised an eyebrow at her." Bella took two steps toward me. "Hey. . "Hey yourself. I think she's gonna vomit. and I turned to see her standing in the doorway looking at me intently.. "Six weeks?" I whispered as I nibbled gently. The process was slow. She whispered something to her that I didn't hear. She kissed Charlotte's forehead. Bella moaned softly. "Oh boy.. What could possibly be happening at the end of this week? Charlotte was one month a week. "You're so high maintenance." I said to Charlotte as her eyes started to droop closed.. Bella's soft footsteps came closer to the bathroom. you know that right?" Bella said to Charlotte with a sigh. Charlotte gurgled and squirmed." Bella said quickly. "I can't wait for the end of this week.203 - .. I could hear Bella stand up and place Charlotte back down in her crib. I was determined to help her. She turned to walk away. but not yet." with a small laugh." I smiled to myself as Bella lifted Charlotte up and started to pat her back gently.. so it wasn't that she would be two months yet.. OH! It clicked. "Idiot. She giggled a little. "Good thing I love you. but as she did I could've sworn I heard her mutter. making me want to ravish her. "Why? Are you actually looking forward to dress shopping with Alice? "Guess again. I smiled nervously at her.

Bella's POV Five and a half weeks. My suspicions were confirmed as he pulled me against his body and nibbled at my neck. I slid into bed. muttering "idiot" under my breath playfully. I turned to walk away.m. I see him every day. but I missed making love to him. My entire being cried at the loss of contact. I missed Edward. and Charlotte was fed at 4a. so I pushed against his shoulders. the sweet coconut smell filling the air. I walked to bathroom. I slowly massaged the shampoo through my hair." I said as I grinned at him. breaking his contact with my body. Edward pouted at me. I stepped under the cascading water. I knew it was going to be hard on me. swallowing roughly. Just as I finished shaving my legs I heard Charlotte's cry emanate from the bedroom. . It was just 6a. and Edward was going to spend the two hours I would be gone with Charlotte. Besides. The need to shave my legs was overpowering my urge to have him in the shower with me. He simply nodded at me. but at the same time it was almost a test for me. his erection straining against his pyjama pants. Wrapping a towel around me. and I'm positive he felt the same way. I walked into the bedroom to see Edward desperately trying to calm her. I quickly rinsed my body one more time before stepping out of the shower and drying myself. I knew that if he didn't stop that we weren't going to make it to the end of the week. I leaned back so that my hair was under the stream again and rinsed it out. I could feel his erection pressing into my stomach. The moment I felt his body next to mine. I slid the shower door open and peaked out to see Edward looking uncomfortable but trapped in his current position leaning against the doorframe. I took my time rubbing it over my body. I slipped into a deep sleep. and waited for Edward. to be away from her. and turned on the shower. Smirking to myself. I was going to see Elizabeth again today. Waking the next morning.. I grabbed my razor and shaving foam. I sighed in contentment as I grabbed the sponge and placed body wash on it. "Good morning.204 - . Just as I leant down to rub the wash over my legs I heard a constricted cough coming from the doorway. He was so damned adorable sometimes. I had about half an hour.m. I couldn't believe that after the weeks flew. the last few days were dragging. and hold him every night. discarding my clothing. I shook my head at him and closed the door again. I decided to take this opportunity to have a shower and relax a little. maybe an hour if I was lucky before she needed feeding again. I groaned and rolled over to have a look at the alarm clock. this was my time. tipping my head back and relishing in the feel of the water on my body.

"Well. Looking after Charlotte is getting easier. I was starting to get more used to her writing during our sessions.." I thought about how to phrase this." I smiled as I recounted my achievements. x-x "How are you today.. even a drawing that I'd done. and during an appointment with Elizabeth I sat there and drew for the hour. Bella?" Elizabeth asked as I took a seat on the couch I'd come to know so well.. about everything. In the end I came up with a bad drawing of a girl sitting in the corner of the room with her legs hugged to her chest and a massive elephant in the middle of the room. Opening up to Edward was getting easier. I didn't cry or get angry. "It sounds like you're getting a lot better. I've found myself talking to Edward more. indicating for me to go on.. But. "I'm going really well actually.. Symbolic much? I ended up giving that picture to Elizabeth.. It was juvenile." I started. "I know." Elizabeth smiled at me. "And how is everything going at home?" "Things seem to be getting better.." I said as I walked over to Edward. I just wanted to let you have more time to yourself. I was frustrated. "I was nervous about leaving Charlotte today. "Thank you. "It's coming up to six weeks since I had Charlotte." I grinned to myself at his gesture. "I was actually wondering something." Elizabeth nodded. but I was having a bad day once." I smiled gently as I took Charlotte from Edward. and she put it up on a corkboard."She needs to be fed. and what if it hinders my recovery in some way?" . but I'd pretty much finished anyway. I only started to freak out once this week.205 - .." "That's fantastic." I answered with a smile.. which means I'll be able to have sex again. Is there anything in particular you wanted to walk about this week?" Elizabeth asked when she finished jotting down scribbled notes. and he was more understanding than I thought was possible. And I think I'm ready. I took a deep breath. but that was all. "What if I'm not ready. and Edward helped me through it quickly and easily. and it didn't bother me anywhere near as much anymore. but I think I'm going to be ok.. I really was starting to feel better about everything... Over the past month more things had been added to her office.

while I'm bribing. but for the most part I'm okay with it. It makes me crave him." "Well. I think that if you feel ready for Edward to touch you like that. Does it still scare you?" I thought about it for a moment. Bella. I shook my head." She looked at me intently. Reviews will make me update faster this week :) and you know what. .) . You've come a long way in the past month.. What about now? Has that gotten easier?" "Sometimes. "I think that's really only something you can judge.. I'll give you a lemon next chapter.. It doesn't scare me anymore. if any lurkers (people who read but don't normally review) review. sometimes it still upsets me. "And what about yourself? How do you feel when you look at yourself in the mirror? I know you said you felt very self-conscious. "How do I judge something like that though?" "Think about how you feel when Edward touches you. that was when we started these sessions." AN – Review for your teaser. then you are ready.. I nodded.206 - . but I can help you if you'd like.Elizabeth placed the pen on her pad of paper and put them off to the side.

so I hope you like it.." he said again. Edward's hands tangled in my hair. happy even. it's still going to be another 5. I really need to buy that man some pom-poms. But this chapter is a big one for you.. when we're watching the snow fall. His arms wrapped gently around my waist.207 - . I kissed his neck softly as my hands found their way to the hem of his shirt. Just like he's holding me now. I love it. I tilted my head slightly as Edward's lips ghosted gently over my neck. but work is to blame. Edward holds me sometimes. We all know that I fail with updating. "Bella. Charlotte was in her bassinet. I said nothing. but turned to face him.. I stood on my toes to reach his lips.. louder this time. I lifted my hand up to run my fingers against the side of his face. by our sides. . I used to hate snow.On with the chapter. actually. Bella's POV I sat with Edward." Edward whispered. causing me to moan loudly into his mouth. And the fact I get tired too easily.. It made me freaking ecstatic to know that there are that many people actually reading this story. Can we get a big THANK YOU for Phil? :) I know that I said this was going to be ending at about 40 chapters. But now. This was what I had always pictured our lives to be. I let out a soft moan as his hands glided up my torso to cup my breasts. watching the snow falling gently onto the ground far below us. "Bella. his chin resting on my shoulder. but at this rate. I see the beauty in it now. As I began to pull it over his head he said my name again.. since Edward and I started dating... "You're so beautiful. I looked up at him to see his eyes searching mine intently." Edward whispered into my ear as he nibbled on my earlobe gently. Props go to PhilCaspar once again for believing that I could get this out this morning.Words and Deeds AN – I couldn't believe how many lurkers came out and reviewed. I was content.

I started laughing as the Darlaks came on screen. Glancing around.208 - . watching the snow with Edward. "It was just a dream.. I saw that I was still in the sitting room.. but ever time I tried I started freaking out and changed the subject. It's how I first told Edward that I love him. a little too fiercely. "You were moaning in your sleep." I managed to say.. I knew my tendency to talk in my sleep. One night I fell asleep on his lap and ended up saying I loved him. I didn't want to wait for this.My eyes shot open. I'd wanted to tell him for a month. I shook my head and turned away. "Yeah. to myself more than anyone else. I couldn't believe my mind would betray my like that. I wanted to hit him to wipe the smile that I could hear in his voice off his face. focusing all my attention on the TV. "Yes. I'm fine. I wasn't upstairs. I looked at Edward to see him looking concerned. and my dream was forgotten. .. "What?" I said. There was something I needed to talk to him about desperately." I murmured as I brought my hands down again. It was playing old Doctor Who episodes. "A good dream?" Edward sounded cocky this time. Soon Edward was joining in my laughter. "Do I get to know what this good dream that had you moaning was about?" Edward grinned at me." I whispered. I'm fine. x-x Edward's POV "Sir. "Are you okay?" Edward spoke again. "It was just a dream. Why?" Edward smiled. replaced with the here and now of Edward's hand ghosting up and down my back and enjoying the rare quiet that probably wouldn't last.." A blush rose to my cheeks and my hands flew up to hide my face. can I talk to you for a moment?" I caught the headmaster in the hallway on my way to the library..

indicating for me to go on. and rubbed his temple with his fingertips. I know I have completed all subjects I need to. I parked the car in the garage. narrowing her eyes slightly. Edward?" "I am. "Thank you. Actually.. She's amazing. "Okay. "Are you sure about this. sir." He sighed softly. "Edward?" she asked. I want to spend more time at home with Charlotte and Bella. Edward. "Excellent. Sitting down across from him at his desk. But other than that. but turned on her heel to go inside.. well. thank you. sir. sir.. Edward?" Headmaster Jones asked kindly.. I wish you the best of luck. "How's everything with the baby going...." He nodded again....209 - ." Bella hugged. I smiled at the thought of Charlotte. it was nothing compared to how I felt under her gaze. And Bella is going well too... Once we were inside. is that enough time?" I nodded and followed him to his office. "Um.. she shut the door behind me and pulled on my wrist. "What are you doing home already?" If I was nervous before.. well. "Edward.. sir. "Can we go inside. there's going to be a bit of paper work for you to do. why are you home so early?" . that's sort of why I wanted to talk to you. I took a deep breath. nerves fluttering through my stomach. I swallowed nervously. I feel like I'm missing out on so much. The door connecting the garage and the house opened to reveal a confused looking Bella." It was only on the drive home that I realised I hadn't talked to Bella about this yet. I hadn't made the final decision until I saw him in the corridor." I stuttered for a moment. "I've got a spare half an hour or so. I should be able to get that finished. "I want to finish early. While I'd been thinking about it for a while.He glanced at his watch before looking back up at me. it's freezing out here.." I smiled." He nodded. and I got a 2215 on my SATs.

I realised I had nothing else I could do without waking up Charlotte.. tidying. Because if he had been thinking. "Edward."I finished early. "You mean. I'll be back. What I was angry about was the fact he made a huge decision. "Bella. I picked up a face cloth off the floor and threw it in the general direction of the washing basket.. I'll talk to you when I'm ready!" . I knew that he was ready to leave. I've done my SATs." Bella took a breath. I chose to take her advice and not follow her as she stormed up the stairs.210 - . I finished everything early. Bella's POV What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't. He'd completed everything that he needed to.. Glancing around the room.. Then I would passively aggressively cook. I said don't follow me. of course. But right now. that would explain it.. a class was cancelled?" I shook my head. if I tried to talk to him. The bed was made.. "And what? You didn't even THINK to ask me?" She threw her hands in the air and turned to walk away from me. I mean.. maybe then.. that potentially will effect the rest of our lives. This is what I did when I was angry. picking up clothes. I would talk to Edward. I'm not going back. everything was tidy." I trailed off as Bella's eyes filled with an anger I'd never seen before.. and he didn't even consider talking to me about it first. "Edward.. It missed. I would passively aggressively clean. He blitzed his SATs. I wasn't angry so much about him leaving school. I've got enough subjects to get my diploma. And then. "No.. I said. The only thing left to do was vacuum. Yep. he would've known how angry I'd be about this! I was ranting to myself as I paced angrily around the bedroom. That made me want to scream." I said and I went to follow after her.. FUCK!" I hadn't heard Bella swear in so long that it made me flinch. There was a soft knock at the door. I would literally kill him. and acting on instinct. don't follow me. Too noisy. but.

"He didn't discuss it with me. gently quieting me. I don't know if he told you he was going to or not.." Esme's gasped told me that he hadn't told her.. I was expecting her to chastise me or something. Edward. Esme's hand stopped stroking my hair.. as much as he is for himself." I said timidly.... .. to myself more than Esme. Instead I felt her warm arms envelope me. I know he wouldn't have made this decision lightly. "Oh.211 - .. really." I said as I got up. "Okay. But I beg of you to understand that he's doing this for you and Charlotte.. And in all honesty. sitting next to me gently. You'll have to ask him that. Why he didn't tell you. "Maybe I just overreacted a bit. I just that these decisions.. Esme led me over to the bed. After a bit of time... I don't know. "It's kind of pathetic. Bella.. I looked at Esme to see her smiling gently. I would've been ecstatic knowing that he'd be at home more often.The door pushed open despite my words and I spun around. giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Would you like to tell me what happened?" she asked softly. stroking her hand with my hair. I could understand that he'd been missing us. I took a shaky breath. He has to leave you and his daughter for hours at a time.." I sighed as I nodded." I let out a small laugh... I glanced at the calender." I said. I felt tears welling up as Esme walked over to me. but he finished school early. they're the ones we'd make together.. I probably wouldn't have minded if he'd told me that he wanted to finish early.. He just went ahead and did it.. but I knew she was going to find out sooner or later. still running her hand over my hair. He can't contact you while he's at school.. sorry. and I wiped my eyes dry.. I instantly felt guilty.. Instead I was faced with a confused looking Esme.. The tears spilt over and I stood there sobbing as Esme held me. "Are you okay now? Because I think you should go talk to Edward before he finds the headmaster's house and begs to re-enrol.." she whispered. that we'd be spending more time together. He must feel like he's missing out on so much. try to think about how he's feeling lately. Eventually my tears stopped." I trailed off. the big ones. "Shh. instead finding it's way to grasp my own hand. "Bella. it's okay. ready to yell at him.

Would you like me to take Charlotte with me so you can talk to Edward in peace?" I felt myself blush. I was the first to talk..What's the date?. Esme met me in the kitchen. "Bella. I'm going into Forks for about 3 hours with Carlisle. I wanted to smack him around the back of the head for being such a douche. Edward was sitting next to Carlisle. I'll have to feed her first though. making sure she had everything that was needed. She tended to know whenever something was happening. so that should be enough.212 - . I didn't find myself angry at him this time though." With that she took Charlotte from me as I blushed and kissed Charlotte goodbye." She patted my leg before turning to walk out of the room.. I found myself calm. "Have fun. In fact... I suppose it's a mother-thing. I was packing diapers in a bag for Charlotte. but she wasn't a thick woman. 20 minutes later.. and fussing. I smiled a little... I nearly gasped as I realised that it was the 6th of February. Leaning up to me ear she whispered. I picked up the bag and made my way down stairs. I leaned against the back of the bed to get comfortable as I unclipped the sleeve of my shirt.. Are you hungry?" I asked her as I sat back down on the bed. Charlotte's high pitched cry came from her crib. It had been six weeks and one day since Charlotte was born. avoiding the awkward glances from each other. "Come on. instead she latched on straight away. and soon we were sitting at the table in silence. Edward did the same. but she took that opportunity to speak up. "I'm sorry for yelling. and was glancing back and forth between me and the floor. Esme smiled at me. I didn't know if she knew or not. and yet excited to be able to spend a couple of hours with just him. "Just bring Charlotte down when you're done. dear. Charlotte didn't fuss about feeding this time. Esme came up to me. and turned to pick her up. okay. just in case. dear. "Um." I was rambling a bit.. Edward looked like he'd been crying... Putting Charlotte in her carrier." I said quietly as I played with my .. As if on cue. And there are two bottles in the fridge. I'm not sure if it was just coincidence or if Esme realised what I was thinking. my little one.

and I cleaned the bathroom.. pfft." "So. "The room is really clean now too. I scooted my chair across so that it was next to his... I miss you and Charlotte so much when I'm at school. "Um." I laughed a little. maybe we wouldn't have so much to do in the first place.. "Damage?" Edward simply turned to look at me. oh. "How much damage is done?" I scoffed and pretended to be offended. "It's okay. I was going to talk to you about it... and I placed my head on his shoulder. So why didn't you?" Edward sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. and everything is sorted. "We'd get so much done if you got angry more often. I nodded.. but I wasn't even sure I was going to until I saw the headmaster in the hallway.." Edward's voice cracked. I looked up at Edward to see him looking at me." I smacked his arm lightly...... and a smirk on his face." Edward just shrugged. I want to know what I'm missing out on at home.... "And I should've told you that I wanted to do this.. well. and I could see tears starting to well up.213 - .. the draws are rearranged.. I raised my head to see his eyebrow raised. it was kind of an impulsive decision?" He nodded.. I know it was stupid. I would hate myself if I missed those things. "Very much so. "Or if you picked your clothes up off the floor. "I really don't know.." Edward laughed gently and he brushed a piece of hair off my face. her first laugh... and I'm not angry anymore.. "I suppose.. I understand." he responded timidly.." I smirked at his immature response.engagement ring. you really should've. but I also know that it was right... But you know. "Yes." Edward chuckled gently. The washing basket is full.. .. so we should do some washing.. I want to make sure that I'm there for her first smile..

Edward smiled. too long. I walked into the bathroom. It was only as my head lolled to the side that I noticed his was washing my body gently as his hands ran down my arms and back up my stomach. but found myseld under the stream of the water.. I took a step back again. blackened with lust. and I found myself trying to not hyperventilate. and took his hand.. But I was sure that I was ready this time. "Um. I turned to see Edward walking in. It had been so long. I took in Edward's chest. pretending to be shy about it. Edward pinched my nipples. I closed my eyes automatically as the rest of the shampoo rinsed out of my hair. Did you want to come with?" I asked him. he poured a little of the shampoo onto his hand. But at the same time I just wanted it. I stood with him. I pressed lightly as I stood on my tip-toes. I was nervous as all hell. I pushed myself back against Edward. uh. so desperately. I did so... he took the shampoo bottle from behind me and motioned for me to tip my head back into the stream of the shower.. I placed them on his chest. I stepped forward. taking slow deep breaths. without giving away that I had every intention of making love to him..214 - . I pressed my lips hungrily against his. I moaned softly as his fingers rubbed circles and run through the long strands of my hair. I stepped in the shower and stepped to the side to let Edward step in and close the door. I need a shower..I wanted to figure out a way to get him to the bedroom. and threw it into the washing basket. Slowly. wearing just his boxers.. I tried to control my heart as we walked up the stairs. "Uh. My eyes trailed up to eventually meet his eyes. It felt like my first time all over again. and when my hair was wet enough. Images of Edward naked flashed through my mind. he lifted his hands up and started to massage the shampoo into my scalp. Lifting my hands." Edward whispered as he pulled away from me. and my breath hitched." he said as he stood from his chair. I flicked my tongue . His hand reached my breasts. He took a step toward me. I closed my eyes as pleasure coursed through my body.. As we entered the room. since we'd made love. Edward's hands ran down to my shoulders and he guided me to turn toward the door. and discarded the rest of my clothing as I adjusted the water on the shower.. rubbing them gently. desperate for more contact. I was scared I wouldn't know what to do. Silently. "Sure. I looked up into Edward's eyes. My heart felt as though it stopped when Edward pressed himself flush against me. I wanted it to be special. When I opened them again. making me moan again. I pulled my jumper off. I could feel his erection pressing against my back as he kissed along my neck.

eventually darting his tongue out to circle my nipple. My entire body tingled with the sensation. I could feel myself growing closer. Edward began to move again. He didn't give me a chance though. and thrust against him. After a few moments. He stepped forward with me. I felt as though I was soaring. I groaned in frustration as his lips left mine. His movements meant his was rubbing against my clit at the same time. his eyes suddenly filled with worry. Edward movements became more frantic. the pain started to subside. He took my clit in his mouth. nibbling on the lobe gently. As I rode out my orgasm. I was so close to my climax when Edward pulled away. gently pushing into me. and Edward's lips parted. I moaned as I rocked against his hand. I moaned. I lifted one hand up to roll my nipple between my fingers. Pushing me against the wall. and scraped his teeth gently across it. I hissed as he took it between his teeth. until it was frustratingly close to my dripping core. focusing on the sensation he was giving me.215 - . Edward flicked his tongue out again. Slowly. still holding me up against the wall. about to beg him to continue. I . he ran two fingers along my folds. but was soon moaning again as Edward kissed his way down my neck and to my collarbone. and pressed himself hard against me.out. this time hitting my clit gently. until I felt him shudder. He looked into my eyes. I felt his tongue flicked against me before his free hand lifted my right leg up so it was over his shoulder. I lifted on legs up to wrap around his waist. I could feel him smiling against my skin. I moaned against his neck." I whispered in Edward's ear. and then slow to a stop. His lips left a trail of fire as he kissed further down. as he stood up and grabbed my hips. Our tongues danced in his mouth until a low growl came from his throat. I hadn't factored the pain into the equation. His hands ran up the outside of my legs. He pushed me back so that I was against the back wall.. I threw my head back. desperately wanting him to let me fall over the edge. I could feel his erection pressing against my core. Edward was kneeling on the as his lips moved my my breast to my stomach. starting to replace the pain with pleasure. gave a rough squeeze. Edward thrust forward. Suddenly. I whined in frustration. He placed another finger inside me. and trailing down to my left hip. silently begging for more. before delving one inside me gently. hitting the tiled wall as I let out a loud moan. and my walls spasmed. "I'm okay. His hands. I hissed as pain coursed through my body. I closed my eyes. Pulling back. I was panting softly as Edward pulled out of me. Edward froze.. and I gave him a small nod. and Edward lifted the other. placed on my arse to keep me up. I bit down softly as I came closer to my climax again. but his left one moved slowly inside.

Eventually he leaned forward.slipped my legs down.. under the stream of the water.216 - ." he whispered as he kissed me softly. review for your teaser! . is that even possible? Who knows. AN – FINALLY! Geez. and slid down the wall so that I was sitting on the shower floor. turning the taps into their off positions. wonderful... "I love you too. I thought I was about to die of sexual tension. Edward was leaning against the opposite wall now. Anyway. I stood up." He kissed me again as I smiled against his lips.. and Edward pulled me against his chest. amazing. "You're amazing.. "Beautiful. I love you.... his eyes closed as he tried to steady his own breath." I said softly. still reveling in my high.

Bella & Edward Reviews: .English .Romance/Drama .Important AN Author of 16 Stories Rated: .Complete .Updated: 10-23-11 .Published: 02-15-09 .id:4865246 .217 - .

Running the water to fill the bath. slowly lowering my body into the warmth of the bath. trying to rid it of the knots. Sometimes it's over whelming. Turning to the mirror.218 - . I picked up a brush and slowly pulled it through my hair. . and now I'm a mother. I dragged myself up the stair to the bathroom. for being there when shit hit the fan. I shook my head and slumped down on the couch. I slipped off my overused sweatpants and t-shirt. Edward had taken Charlotte out for a drive. Special thanks goes to meilzdoggg01. and a loving fiancé. Deciding it had been far to long. I went so quickly from the carefree student with a wonderful boyfriend to an expecting mother with a fiancé. and it hasn't been a smooth ride. Trust me. and walked to the bath. trying to remember the last time I had sat down and just relaxed. Running my hands through my tangled hair. It meant a lot to me to know that there were so many people out there who cared about this story. To have so many people was overwhelming.Just The Way You Are AN – Well. you haven't chosen the flowers yet? The wedding is less than a month away!" Alice's voice filled the room as I desperately tried to block out her chastising. I thought back. So here is the real chapter 40. As I turned to answer Alice and tell her to choose them herself she threw her hands in the air and stormed out of the room. thank you all so much for your kind words and support when I posted the hiatus notice. My life h ad changed so much over the past year. But at the same time. Turning the taps to their off positions. I sighed in contentment as I instantly felt my muscles relax. I stepped in to the bath. I was satisfied. I let my mind wander as I absentmindedly washed myself. It wasn't that I hadn't tried to choose the right flowers… I just hadn't had the time. who I am preparing to vow to spend the rest of my life loving him. Bella's POV "Bella! What do you mean. knowing that even just one person was reading this story would make me continue. and wouldn't be back for another hour. I know I wouldn't go back to change anything. with a beautiful daughter. muttering something about having to do everything herself. After a few minutes.

something blue. "I have to give her something. deciding to go with one issue at a time. and everything is wrong!" Alice's panicked voice startled me slightly as she attached herself to my side. and stepped out. They looked so peaceful. Standing there with Charlotte in his arms was a topless. "Edward! Oh thank god! I've been looking for you everywhere! I don't know what to get her for the wedding. splashing a bit of water out of the tub onto the floor. it wasn't two seconds before a frantic Alice pounced on me. telling me in her own way that it was time to feed her. and give them some space. "Who is it?" I called out. "Why are you getting her the 'something new' part? Shouldn't the dress just count . a towel wrapped around her body. her hair dripping down her back. I walked to the door and unlocked it. I stood up. something new. I should've figured that one out myself. she let out a cry. still breathless from my scare. I chose to take my leave. I held me hands out for the squirming Charlotte. Just as I took her from her father's arms. I jumped slightly. "You can't decide to get who what for the wedding?" I asked.A knock at the bathroom door pulled me out of my reverie. and began feeding her. I wanted her so badly. Something old. Bella took her from my arms.219 - . "Bella!" Alice sobbed. I walked down the stairs. something borrowed. My cock twitched at the sight. Edward's POV My fiancé stood before me. Something new!" I rolled my eyes slightly. and she won't pick a color-scheme. but there were more important things to do. "Just me…" Edward's voice called back to me. wrapping a towel around me. with the intent of getting a cup of coffee and going to see if dad was anywhere to be found. Instead. letting the water out of the tub. A cry from Charlotte reminded me she was hungry. Biting back a moan as I took in the perfect look of my fiancé. I tried to keep my internal laughter from my voice and I walked us to the kitchen table and began to try to figure out what she was on about. Sighing. god-like man.

"Okay… has she got her jewellery yet?" I saw Alice's face go through trying to recall what Bella had already. It now sat just above her chin. straight. but we'll see how I go. we're not going to have hundreds of people there… the reception will be the place everyone comes to congratulate us. but surely it's better than nothing. Alice cut in again. Okay?" Alice fidgeted with her hands before nodding her consent and leaning in to hug me tight around the chest. "That said. One day. and close friends. we have family. "But that doesn't cover the other problem! She hasn't chosen a colour-scheme. She doesn't want something huge. But this is Bella's day. in true Alice style. me too." Alice huffed as she ran her hands through her hair." I took a breath." Just as I opened my mouth to ask what. but she'd started to grow out over the past few months. and at such short notice!" I took Alice's hand in mine. k? .220 - . "You're a lifesaver Edward! She has most of it. Please. "Alice." Alice punched me in the chest softly. your wedding will be fabulously huge." "Me too. you're going to be my sister in-law. except one thing. "No! She's… I can't tell you why! Gosh! But the dress isn't the new part. yelling over her shoulder.for that?" Confusion filled my voice and I felt more and more like a fish out of water. and then excitement filled her face. "I suppose I just want this day to be perfect for her. I'm begging you. It's just going to be in the garden. that was no longer spiky. I have no idea what flowers to order. I will ask her about the colour scheme. But for the wedding. I can't promise something tomorrow. don't put too much pressure on Bella. framing her face. you have to calm down about this. and on that day. "don't call me squirt!" AN – I know it wasn't super long. squirt. before skipping away. I promise to try to update as soon as I can again.

Your reviews are loved.221 - . .

telling me to relax and enjoy as she ripped at my hair with a hair brush. "Okay… that's fine… but I'm not staying up late. but not completely rolling smashed. sure there will be a couple of drinks. A week until my wedding. and Esme." I breathed a sigh of relief. pushing me to the seat next to the bed. "And who exactly is a few of my good girlfriends?" I closed my eyes. rubbing my eyes. Thank you all for your reviews last chapter.222 - . I chose the light and dark blues and let Esme get to work doing my make up. prepared for the worst. No one will be getting drunk. "Me. did I not? Here it is. Thanks once again goes to meilzdoggg01. I didn't make it 2 feet in the door before Rose had pounced on me. and Charlotte will have to be there. of course. and my lovely boyfriend. trying to prepare myself for the onslaught of makeup and hair products that was to come. now I had to spend hours entertaining people. "It's not a hen's night! It's a couple of your good girlfriends getting together to spend some quality time with you before you get married. Bella's POV "Alice… I thought I wasn't having a hen's night?" I put my head in my hands. kneeling in front of me and holding out a range of colour choices. I trudged my way up the stairs. Rose. as if I wasn't nervous enough. Esme was slightly more tactful. so it's not going to be loud. "Okay!" She bounced and grabbed my hand." Alice grinned and nodded her consent." I rolled my eyes. Alice seemed to have organised something somewhat similar to a hen's night. This was just like Alice. Esme and Rosalie are waiting in your room to help you get ready!" Groaning.Hen's and Buck's Preperation AN – I told you I'd have another update for you soon. . for giving me a bit of a confidence boost about this chapter. "In that case. Ange.

I knew that it would be in the house. I suppose I'm just worried that something will go wrong though. "Terrified about the wedding. twisted at the hair tie. are you excited?" Rose asked as she pulled my hair out of my face. It was the reception that would be the talk of the town. I knew very little about the reception. "I suppose so. her grip on my hair loosening slightly. I suppose. I can't wait. or that I've forgotten to do something. "For this. I let Alice plan that completely. But tonight… I suppose I'll just have to try to enjoy myself. you'll be Mrs Cullen. Now that it was actually happening though. I'd always known that Edward would be the person I married. Phil." Esme said gently. "I think she likes it…" Rose whispered not so discretely to Esme. I stood from the chair and walked over to the mirror. I'm nervous." I smiled and laughed gently. trying hard not to cry. but gave my face more life than it had seen in months now. this time next week. . was finished. finally. His family had always welcomed me. because the wedding was to take place in the garden. There is nothing I want more than to marry Edward…" Esme simply smiled warmly at me as she stepped away from my face. Even before we were dating. who laughed in return." Butterflies filled my stomach as I thought forward a week to the wedding. "Well it's normal to be nervous about your wedding. He's my best friend." I bit my lip as I answered Rose. My hair was pulled back into a half ponytail. but excited too. or for the wedding?" Rose laughed gently. "Both. Dad and even some of the people from the Quilluete Reservation would be at the ceremony. Everything was planned. Other than that. There would be a few good friends from Forks there… Mom. "But just think. I gasped when I saw the transformation. enveloping them in my arms. it was all a little overwhelming. I couldn't believe that it was happening. Rose spent another minute or so on my hair before stepping back and declaring that she too. "Done!" she exclaimed as she closed the make-up case. his friends were my friends."So. I jumped at Esme and Rose. I turned around. My make up was soft.223 - .

Someone's hungry. "Need I remind you of the time you dragged me to Seattle. I scoffed incredulously." "Edward…" he mimicked my groan. sweetie.. a small cry came from the crib by the bed. "I promise man… Would I try to deceive you?" He put on his best innocent face. "Ah. I want to stay in. Alice will be back up here soon to help with the choice of clothing. and it's turned out to be something completely different?" Emmett feigned ignorance at my comment. You're coming out tonight. and Bella." I said with a laugh. telling me that we were going to do research for our biology assignment? Turns out you dragged me to some ridiculous football game. "I really don't want to go out tonight! I don't care if you've organised a massive party or not." Just as I went to hug them again. Do you need me to list the times in the past that you've promised something. Bella is going to be occupied anyway…" "And what is that supposed to mean?" I was suddenly filled with worry as I thought of all the possibilities."Thank you guys. You deserve a little pampering every once in a while. Rose. when I had exam block coming up the following week?" .." Emmett's massive hand clapped my shoulder. I promise you. nothing huge. "I don't care what you want. Esme. "I suppose the rest of the pampering will have to wait a little bit. Esme and Rosalie sat on the bed." x-x Edward's POV "Emmett…" I groaned as he through a football toward me. yes. Just an attempt to relax Bella a little before the wedding. "That's okay. are having a quiet girls night in. Alice and Rose dragging Bella to town… A make over… Everything Bella hates. so much!" "It's okay. Laughing gently again. "It just means that Alice. I started to walk over to the crib.224 - . A sudden desperate need to rescue my fiancé overcame me.

But you're letting me say goodbye to Bella first. I'll go tonight. "Okay. Now."Oh please.225 - . kneeling in front of Esme. are you going to come in and say goodbye. okay. I walked over to them. where's my other beautiful girl?" I turned my attentions to seeing where in the room Charlotte was. I almost gasped when I saw Bella. I think this is Alice's replacement for a hen's night. I backed away slowly." Emmett bowed and waved his hand in the direction of the stairs. You were still the top of the class. "You look… amazing…" I managed to get out. "Edward. silently willing me to go say my farewells." she said. before turning to run up the stairs. I stopped outside the door. Smiling gently. I was worried if you studied any more. Glaring at him. and heard giggling. She waved her hand in front of me. standing there in simple but very nice jeans and a nice shirt." she whispered the last part in my ear. my love." I swept a piece of hair behind Bella's ear. laughing softly. . and Esme talking in a low voice. it was a fairly safe bet she wasn't in her crib. to reveal Alice standing there. you'd spent weeks studying. and all of a sudden the door burst open. I spotted her in my mother's arms. or stand out there eavesdropping?" She grabbed my wrist an pulled me into the room. her makeup done beautifully. It seems I'm being pampered and then we're spending a girl's night in. With 4 girls in the room. I laughed. I heard soft footsteps. "Have fun. still laughing. "So I hear you're spending the night with the boys tonight?" I nodded. "Why thank you. Emmett pushed me in return. you'd turn into the exam itself. Edward. "Okay then. "See something you like?" Rose said with a laugh as she shoved Bella gently toward me. and threw a playful punch at his chest. "That's fine. I nodded dumbly as I took in just how beautiful she looked. What exactly did you get on that test in the end?" I sighed in resignation. "As long as you're okay with that?" She smiled.

Please review :) . producing a small bubble. That one was longer. before lifting her to kiss her forehead and nose. "That's my girl…" I gave her back to Esme. I'm working on picking up the number of words in each chapter again. Esme lifted Charlotte up gently. so we can have longer chapters for the last couple. "I promise daddy will be back later. Okay?" Charlotte squirmed a little. "Goodbye. I laughed gently. Speaking of which. Wish me luck!" Four laughs followed. It's in two chapters time! I just ask for your patience on the journey there. before poking her tongue out of her mouth. I love and read every single one of the reviews I get. "I love you…" I whispered in her ear before turning to walk out the door. AN – there we are. knowing that Emmett and Jasper would more than likely already be waiting for me in the Jeep. a few people have asked when the wedding is. kissing me gently. I'll see everyone later tonight."Hello you two…" I whispered. "Okay. tonight. See you later." Bella stood on her toes. Edward. letting me take the tiny angel from her arms.226 - . I kissed her back softly.

I'm sorry I haven't replied or posted anything in ages but I just haven't had the time and when I have I've lost inspiration. and I have so many readers who love it.227 - . I will be writing more of Leave Out All The Rest and Self Medicating. and a great source for me to write and vent my frustration on crappy days. I hope everyone understands and I really really am sorry for being MIA for so long. but unfortunately I will have to delete the rest of my stories. I know people have been PMing me. Emmy xx .Author's Note Sorry Hi everyone. I have chosen to finish those two stories for the following reasons: Leave out All The Rest is the most popular. I will post this message not only on my profile but on all stories. and asking when I'm going to update. it's unfair to people who have followed me this far to just up and leave it. Self Medicating is close to me. I hope to repost one day but having so many going at one time is overwhelming and not conducive to me getting inspiration.

It seemed like yesterday that I agreed to marry Edward. and in the glass was delicate engraving saying "Congratulations. I pulled the ribbons off carefully (well. so I'm sure you've all read the AN before this. who's POV etc etc. Bella?" Esme asked as she sat next to me. My stomach started to turn. no. "I'm fine. I'm fine. in front of the people I called family. "Are you okay. "So what have we here?" Alice's face lit up with joy as I went to open the beautifully wrapped box. I opened the lid of the box to reveal two beautiful champagne flutes. "Are you sure you're okay? You can go lay down for a bit if you'd like." Esme looked at me. You get my point. or how we got here. and the room started to spin. and a bottle of champagne.228 - . I couldn't believe I was at my hens night already. xx I couldn't believe that the days had passed so quickly. Loves. . Bella! Open the present!" Alice and Esme's voices mixed. and I hope it's worth the wait. and the friends I'd learnt to love the same. Here is the update as promised. It wasn't planned. I sat down. But here I stood. "Come on. I know that I love him with all I have. I just didn't have the time or inspiration to write something worth posting. I don't remember where the time went." I lied as I pulled the present Alice had been begging me to open toward me. The rims were lined with gold. Here is the chapter. Edward and Bella Cullen". "No. in her usual caring way. I kept my smile. trying to force a smile. I couldn't decide where the story was going.Welcome to Paradise Okay. how I wanted to write it. Or maybe it was just me thinking the room was spinning." Despite Esme's offer. But that's certainly what it felt like. as carefully as I can do) and slid the paper surrounding the box off. I am so sorry about my long hiatus. Just a bit of a head spin when I got up just then. But nerves seemed to take control of my body. I knew how much I'd disappoint everyone if I were to leave the party.

This was a night that I didn't want to ruin for Alice and Esme. I took a deep breath. and paused a moment to hold my hand. or anything else of the sort. I walked down the stairs and outside to the patio. "Oh.I felt a nausea that I couldn't blame on food. silently telling me she knew I wasn't really okay. If it were anyone else I would've felt pressured." Rosalie walked closer to me and touched my arm gently. standing up and stretching my back. I startled. Alice?" Alice nodded and stood up. and I would have gotten annoyed at them. it's okay. I nodded at her. She and Angela began talking about the wedding. but I knew that Alice just wanted to help." I said. "We will talk about this later okay?" she whispered to me. I sat on a chair and ran my hands through my hand. get it together I thought to myself. or anyone else here for that matter. "We'll be back in a minute guys. I had wanted this so much for years. I looked around. Rosalie picked up Charlotte. Esme smiled. taking a deep breath. It was dread. I didn't mean to scare you. "Sorry. I just didn't hear you come out." Esme said. and I took this opportunity to walk out of the room and down the hall. looking at Alice. alcohol. and jumped up to see who it was." I wanted to avoid her question if I . "Will you come with me to the kitchen for a second. and Alice gave me a look. I couldn't believe what I was feeling. "Okay. "I can do this. untangling a couple of knots. I gave her a small smile. As she walked past me she made sure her shoulder brushed mine. "I'll be back in a moment." she said. trying once more to mask how I was feeling. a lump in my throat preventing me from speaking. tenderly stroking her cheek and cooing. Wasn't I supposed to be happy? Excited? Why was a feeling as though the world was going to come to an end if I went through with this? "I was going to give it to you at the wedding but I couldn't wait…" I heard Alice's voice somewhere in the background but I couldn't really focus on anything other than the sick feeling that was threatening to present my lunch to the world. Come on Bella. trying to decide where to go to get my thoughts together. I was dreading the day when I would promise my life to Edward Cullen. Bella. We'll get the next activity on the agenda set up while you're gone." I whispered to myself. It was finally happening.229 - . "You can do what?" I heard a voice coming from behind me.

Close your eyes and take my hand." I did as Alice said and soon she was leading me deeper into the house. I could see in her face that she didn't believe me." Alice's face was glowing with excitement.could. I dared to peak my eyes open for a second. We walked a little further into the house until Alice suddenly stopped.230 - . We have the next surprise ready now. "MOM!" Please review if you liked it or if you hated it. "Okay. Angela said you'd gone to find Bella. . I smiled and walked inside. and motioned for me to sit as well." I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. It was so typical of Alice to know exactly what I was doing. "Bella. Despite her being a bit… mean… to some people sometimes. but just as they opened. I wanted to hit myself for not going further away from the house. close your eyes. "Okay. what's worrying you?" Rosalie sat in the seat next to where I was. Of course Rosalie would know something was wrong. I'm fine. I was happy. "It's nothing Rosalie… Really. I was always a terrible liar. Rose. but only because we'd been interrupted and I didn't have to go through why I was feeling so terrible before I got married. My mouth dropped open with surprise. "Bella. it's okay to…" "Oh there you guys are. nearly sending me flying forward. Bella. open your eyes." I did as she said." I tried lying. Alice said "Bella. she was the only person I knew who managed to always know when people were upset.

She'd been distant. Something about Bella had seemed a bit off over the past few days. He jerked the steering wheel to the right. snapping me out of my daze. "We're nearly there. but it was getting to me anyway... Panic filled my body as the car skidded for a moment. I didn't know you were going to be here tonight?" I couldn't help it as tears filled my eyes. I felt my head smack against something hard. I needed to talk to her so badly. Alice called me and told me about tonight. and some behind us. "Well. "Hey. Jasper looked ahead just in time to see the truck heading right toward us. "I'm fine." I said. I looked up for a moment. but nothing more than a few metres ahead. I could see cars ahead. There will be an epilogue. before it flipped and started to roll." The rain was pouring down by this point. It was probably just my imagination. and I felt myself losing conciousness. I didn't think that I'd be so happy to see her. I let my body fall into hers as her arms enveloped me." Emmett slapped my arm. and my heart skipped a beat. Bella's POV "Mom.." she smiled and walked toward me. . and when I held her it felt like she tensed up every time. man.When You're Gone AN . Edward's POV Emmett and Jasper had the music blaring in the Jeep as we headed down the freeway toward the city. I sat back in my chair and watched the scenery pass by as I wondered what Bella and the girls were up to. I wasn't sure where we actually were as we pulled off the freeway.231 - . "You right man?" Jasper asked as he looked back from the drivers seat for a moment. and I booked a flight and got a cab from the airport to here.. before my mind went blank. onto a small two lane road.This is the last chapter.

That's normal. Charlie's POV It was going to be a long night." I whispered. The rain pounded down on my windscreen as I watch the wiper blades for a moment. I had been asked to go out of my usual patrol area today. and sat on the paving. Sometimes I hated myself for letting myself get so distanced from her. "Oh. I didn't mind the change. "I'd probably be worried if you weren't." "Darling. you're a new mother. I sat in my patrol car on the side of freeway. knowing that it's the right thing. Maybe I'll call Bella tomorrow. who nodded gently. Mom walked with me outside. to help relieve the pressure on the short staffed station closer to the city." I answered straight away. well. It's normal to worry that you're not ready for this.232 - . Of course you are. It was okay for me."It's so good to see you. I knew that I would feel better after talking to mom. I know that I was terrified when I married your father.. I had a granddaughter that I had only seen a handful of times.. focusing intently on the paver.. I just shouldn't! "I'm scared. what's the matter?" Mom gently pushed me back a little to look in my eyes. still holding my hand. What matters most though. trying to count the tiny holes in it. "excuse us for a few minutes will you?" she smiled at Esme." she stressed to me. ready to flick my sirens on and catch people being idiots. It was when I said that. and you're days away from getting married.. is when you walk down that aisle. I just wasn't used to so many cars. that I knew that I could marry him. I thought to myself. that it is what you want. She took my hand.. "So what's gotten you upset sweetie?" she asked. It was so like my mother to opt for sitting on the ground over the chairs. watching the cars go past. I couldn't help but smile a little. Mom. My point is that is completely normal to think things might be different. I was even a little scared when I married Phil. I couldn't keep my mind off the fact I had a daughter that had grown up so quickly.. darling. I took a deep breath. I knew that I couldn't hide it from her. Is it what you want? Do you want to marry Edward?" "Yes! Of course I do. . You're young. but I felt so ridiculous being upset about something that I.

I felt as though the breath had been knocked out of me as I looked inside. I looked to the passenger seat to see Emmett Cullen.Just as I thought this. and I could hear them breathing. with people staring with horrified looks on their faces at a jeep. They both had one. if not already there. I knew to prepare myself for the worst. 2 miles north of your current position.. I'd recognise the shaggy blonde hair of the driver anywhere." I ran my hands through my hair. where it appeared to have hit on the window. . I weaved in and out of cars as I headed for the exit. I already knew who I would see there. I stepped back. I heard sirens in the background. "What are we looking at?" the first one asked me." "I'll be there in 2 minutes. and could see 2 paramedics running toward me.." I moved as quickly as I could to check Jasper and Emmett both had a pulse through the broken window. There was blood trickling from a cut on his head. It took all the effort I had to bring myself to look into the rear seat. so I moved to Edward.. please proceed immediately to a single vehicle crash. and I could clearly see 2 people in the front. Please send a second patrol car. I. I heard my radio. "Patrol 3. I could see he was in a worse state. I did a quick check to make sure I couldn't see any leaking gas or fire anywhere before rushing to the drivers side of the car. slowing as I saw cars stopped by the side of the road. "3 people in the car off the freeway. I know all of them. but when I did. "The driver and front passenger both have a stable pulse. Ambulance's required for all three." I replied as I flicked on my sirens and pulled out into the traffic. It was on it's roof. There would already be paramedics on the way.. It was how they always sat in the car.. I haven't checked the passenger in the back.. and are breathing. rolled down the embankment. About 200 yards off the city exit. I didn't often report to car crashes. I couldn't see any immediate life threatening injuries.. still strapped in by their seat belts as I walked quickly from my car.233 - .. Edward. I took up my radio from shirt and spoke without thinking. I haven't moved either.

I could tell she knew something was wrong too. I could see a tear fall.234 - . and I hadn't gotten a reply. We've got it from here. laying him down on the ground. "Emmett and Jasper are in hospital. Somehow I already knew. "What happened to Edward?" I demanded." the other officer started again. and put her hand on my shoulder. still holding Charlotte close. I sat down gently on the lounge. "Bella. sit down. That wasn't like him. Bella's POV I looked at the clock." my dad choked out."You." "What about Edward?" Dad looked down at the floor." Dad started. I felt tears well up. and I picked up Charlotte. Mom stood up. I watched through blurry eyes as they pulled Edward gently from the car. I heard footsteps walking toward the room. I had sent a text message to Edward earlier. "There's been an accident. I could tell something was wrong... "There has been an accident." she said. I had never seen my father cry. I could tell by the look on their faces that they weren't expecting anyone. I really think you should sit down. sweetie. Edward died." I stumbled back to a log and felt my body slump down. "No. he was followed by another officer.. and Rosalie. I was surprised when I saw dad walk in first. in the city." I took a step toward him." Dad's eyes didn't meet mine when I tried to look at him. Alice looked at me. muttered voices. . I stood up again. walking around the room.. Bella. 9pm. Another patrol car is on it's way. "Bella. as well as more paramedics. sit down. "He didn't make it. There was a knock on the door. "What's happened?" my voice wavered. Rosalie got up to get the door. My chest got tight.

. and I have no one but the readers to thank for that. but I'm sorry. and I've decided to stick to it.I know that a lot of people are going to hate this. An epilogue will be up in a few days. This is what I had planned. .. It was awesome writing this and receiving the feedback. This is by far my most successful story.235 - .

236 - . over the next few years." Edward's daughter was now five years old. more than he could have loved anything. Days passed. I could hear Charlotte laughing somewhere around me. Edward was buried. I remember Rosalie looking after Charlotte for a long time." her voice wavered a bit. The sun bore down on my face as a small smile graced my lips. The cold of the winter morning was blocked out by the glass walls and door now separating the patio from the garden. but since I lost him.. "Hello darling. and the spitting image of him. I held her closer and rocked a little bit. "Hi Mommy!" she screamed. It took me even longer to realise that she was Edward's legacy. making me cringe a little. Time blurred into one big block of nothing. It was barely six. I had enough time to open both my eyes before she jumped onto me.Epilogue I don't remember what happened after my dad told me Edward was dead. It's . "Yes it is sweetie.. weeks even. a huge grin on her face. This was put in on Charlotte's first birthday. With my eyes still closed. I spent a few days in hospital. It made me panic. It was hard to see her every day.. This child certainly had pipes on her. I leant my head onto the back of the chair." I said with a laugh as I peaked one eye open to see Charlotte standing in front of me. and put this in. Charlotte. "I know you're there. Everything in my memory is blank. Edward had loved his daughter.. what are you doing awake already?" I asked her as I ran my hand through the tangled locks of dark brown hair. after she fell down the two steps. it became more and more obvious that she had inherited my coordination. "It's daddy's birthday. I had tried so hard to be strong. It took months before I could hold Charlotte again. and Charlotte (lucky for me) didn't usually wake up until about 7.

I dreamed I was missing You were so scared But no one would listen Cause no one else cared After my dreaming I woke with this fear What am I leaving When I'm done here So if you're asking me I want you to know When my time comes Forget the wrong that I've done Help me leave behind some Reasons to be missed And don't resent me And when you're feeling empty Keep me in your memory . In the end. In the end. life. it can't separate people who love each other. No matter how hard death tries. and love.what Edward would have wanted for us. It can't take away our memories either. love is stronger than death. but it will survive through death. are stronger than death. It can't stop death from happening. He would have wanted both of us to be happy.237 - .

if anyone is looking for something else that I'm writing. I will now be focusing on Self Medicating. a quick mention of my boyfriend. she'd always be there for me. deserves more credit toward this story than I do. who is understanding enough to know that when I'm writing. For being there no matter what happened.Again. and no matter what shit happened between us. who is no longer writing on here. . When I needed someone to cry to. he should probably go away.238 - . Amelia (meilzdoggg01). and those that have come in along the way. I would like to thank everyone who has read this story from the beginning.Leave Out All The Rest AN . Also.

This is to all the people who want to review simply to flame me. and to everyone who offered something constructive. and some people don't seem to realise that.Author's Note This is just an authors not. I really do appreciate your feedback. My feelings about characters. etc. Sincerely. I'm damn sick of people reviewing and telling me it's the worst thing they've ever read. I am sorry to post this as an A/N. Let's be honest here. even the way characters act. In the time it took me to write this story. sentence structure. fine. where I was going with it. not more of the story. If you want to be constructive on something like spelling. . grammar. Emmy1512. But the story line is mine. a lot of things changed. I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT. However.239 - . I don't really care for it.

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