An Introduction to Taoist Loving

(opening text from an upcoming web series)

by Gordon Artrias Rosenberg

Would you like your lovemaking to be a more sacred and deeply moving
experience? Do you want to access the joy and pleasure inside you, and express yourself more fully with your conscious lover? Such is the intent of this series. Practicing Taoist loving will increase your ability to give and receive love in all areas of your life. Lovemaking is intended to be a highly conscious expression of our deepest selves. Loving consciously is living consciously! Taoist loving is an exciting and liberating practice which can change your life. The focus of my teaching is largely on the energetic components of Taoist loving. That is, on the ways to prepare oneself and one’s body for higher loving, and on the experience of heightened energy states which bring about transformation of the total self. This is what you may experience as you practice Taoist loving – a full energetic transformation! My Taoist loving series will help you learn, first, how to access and follow your own intuition, next, how to sense and value your own feelings and awareness, and finally, energetic practices which will significantly enhance


I will describe the basics of a conscious loving practice. Perhaps you’ve known you can become a more conscious and sacred lover. As with Taoism. I will help you see how you can learn to see all the great joy of loving and the higher truth of love itself! The information explosion which has brought eastern teachings to the west has helped us become more aware of ways to access our higher energies. Sacred sexuality and conscious loving have long been at the root of major disciplines for the purpose of personal growth and consciousness expansion.your lovemaking and your life. These processes can be as powerful for us today as they were in ancient India or China. When I began studying Tantra and Taoist sexology nearly 2 decades ago. made of the same stuff.. These are powerful energetic processes which have contributed to the ascension of those who’ve practiced them. you will learn much that you can incorporate into your loving practice. for it’s my own primary loving path. you can positively redefine yourself as a fully loving being. while a very important part of Taoism. I knew I had found my way home to wisdom that was somehow inside me. Tantra is closely related to Taoist sexology when presented in its true nature. as our ancestors. too. facing the same challenges. Sexuality. Tantra Yoga as I define it is “the yoga of the senses”. Perhaps you’ve had such intuitive insights of your own … feelings that there’s a “higher love” than you may have experienced this lifetime. Opening to a higher form of sexuality can be a significant aspect of one’s conscious awakening. As I read those early books. I will show how exploring yourself deeply will help you re-discover your joy and passion. and have perhaps contributed on an energy level to the evolution of the entire species. Much more than simply a sexual practice. We can all be conscious lovers! I will speak often about Taoism. We can open ourselves to universal energy and allow that energy to expand our consciousness and bring us significant revelations. 2 . sacred loving for the purpose of both consciousness expansion and a fuller expression of my human-ness. and with the same abilities. is a complete philosophy for how to live all aspects of one’s life. Taoist loving is an expression of higher consciousness. is only one part of living a conscious Taoist life. In this first video in this series. Authentic Tantra Yoga developed largely in India. Tantra isn’t just about having sex in as many different positions as possible! Taoism. intended to assist the serious practitioner in going beyond the senses and into the great and mysterious void of expanded consciousness. While I don’t teach actual sexual techniques. There’s much we can learn from ancient traditions. I will show you how no matter what your experience of loving and lovemaking has been up until now. We are essentially the same beings. I was re-learning what I already knew . whereas Taoism comes primarily from China. there’s much more to Tantra than the physical processes which are taught so prevalently in the west.

knowing it will be returned to me. But this doesn’t happen in Taoist lovemaking. the male Taoist lover must learn early on that the orgasm is not the most important thing about lovemaking. you approach your partner as if he or she is a very conscious being. if you are only familiar with making love in more ordinary making love with my partner. My intent is to hold back nothing. seemingly afraid that if they let it go. being in control of the male orgasm is the primary factor in the long and deeply rewarding lovemaking which is the Taoist focus. several times over. but very much to control it. In Taoist loving. But it’s not strange at all. but the universe is unlimited and we may have full access to it whenever we want. There are a number of details of Taoist lovemaking which contribute to this revitalization. to be sure. In fact. from the depth of your soul to the tips of your fingers and toes. To state this very key point clearly. greatly extending lovemaking for obvious reasons. Oh. it’s actually more healthy for men to greatly reduce their numbers 3 . I am always invigorated – rather than depleted . In fact. you receive back from the universe through your loving partner every time you make love. through her and from the universe. The physical body is very much involved . There’s no room for other thoughts or preoccupations. straight from the Source of all energy. or something to be rushed into. even during lovemaking. I feel it’s all about a kind of higher pleasure. When we relinquish this hold. my focus is on being totally immersed in her and in our actions. One very important aspect is that the male Taoist lover learns to control his orgasm. we open ourselves to receiving much more “universal energy”. This may sound strange to you. rather than simply a form of recreation. and to allow yourself to receive higher energy from the universe to support and enhance the lovemaking. I can tell you as the male lover. the Taoist lover is in it for the pleasure of the experience. we cut ourselves off from the universe. not to restrain his orgasm exactly.Taoist loving is a conscious way of making physical love. many things that one can learn. When you love as a true Taoist. as it is for most males on this planet.but Taoist loving never stops with just the physical form. that they’ll be depleted somehow. Taoists know that beyond young adulthood. it will bring you multiple “energetic orgasms”. My intent is to give her all the conscious loving energy I can. The primary intent is to love another person as fully as one can. If we hold onto our energy greedily. When I’m loving my partner. A main premise of Taoist loving is that our own energy may be limited. Sometimes.even worshipped in a way . the male learns not to ejaculate unless and until he wants to. I give up all I can. You learn to make love in a state of higher consciousness. Orgasm for the male Taoist lover is not a random thing. You can learn to do it and it will bring you incredible rewards. they won’t get it back. Many people do hold onto their own energy tightly. She is my entire focus in that moment. very deep and exhilarating.

as a way of allowing “chi”. it’s possible to learn how to sustain lovemaking for exceptionally long periods of time. many Chinese Taoists of the past have found lovemaking late in life to be a key to healthy longevity itself. and may indeed even benefit everyone involved through the enhanced exchange of conscious energy. with extraordinary revelations for both partners. to flow through him. This includes having full multiple orgasms – as many as she can and wants . Men. As I implied earlier. I should say here that some male Taoists advocate having sex with many female partners. I can tell you from personal experience that this skill is neither incredulous or unattainable. including diet. etc. This would seem to be a matter of personal choice. mental balance. as long as it’s done in a conscious way. or universal life force energy. It’s simply a whole new way of looking at sex and recognizing the needs of the female half of the equation. the male Taoist lover learns to essentially have an energetic orgasm every time his female lover has a physical (and energetic) one. This next part may seem especially incredulous to you. as a way of giving fully to another person. How is this possible? The key is that the Taoist male practitioner approaches sexuality as he approaches all of life. spirituality. There are many reports of them living and being sexually active even to age 100 and beyond. but this doesn’t mean reducing their lovemaking! The Taoist male practitioner benefits from extensive lovemaking late into life. There becomes very little. if any. the female is free to let her self go as fully as possible. Can you imagine that? That a woman needs to receive as many as a thousand pleasurable thrusts to be fully satiated? And of varying kinds and intensity. My own choice is to focus as deeply as possibly on loving one partner. this may mean that you need to learn some very different skills than you may believe are unattainable. He sees loving as a great expression of his human form. But whether a person has one or many sex partners. whether you’re a man or a woman: Some Taoist texts say a woman isn’t fully satisfied with anything less than 1000 strokes during lovemaking. enjoyment is a very significant thing to the Taoist. Whereas the male’s focus is on sustaining the session through his own skill and practice.of orgasms. right pursuit. In fact. It’s about expanding our joy and experiencing human sexuality in both deeply 4 . He treats sexuality as an art to be perfected.since this is seen as the best way to enrich and increase her enjoyment and heighten the energetic expression for both partners. as a way to give to the universe by expressing himself freely with a conscious and loving partner. To be certain. and exchanging energy as deeply as possible between us. This practice is certainly not about Buddhist or another form of abstinence. exercise. and this is the key to the entire Taoist process. difference for him between the two kinds of orgasmic experience.

we can learn to access places where we’re holding this energy back. energies which may be causing pain or tension or other distress. just as we can feel any other energy in our bodies. We can then learn to release the love energy. You may use universal energy one way. I’d like you to consider that real love isn’t an emotion at all. With these words perhaps fresh in your mind. We can become more familiar with ways in which we may have kept ourselves from feeling these energies. and I may use it another. And that by getting in touch with the energy of love. we’re also holding back the expression of other energies in the body. but that it’s an energy which we can feel. I don’t have time in this video to go into details about how the male or female Taoist lover learns to sustain sexuality. Taoist loving is a deep sensory experience which begins with knowing yourself as completely as possible. or to do whatever activities in the world we choose to do. and learning to convey the energy of “universal love” to others. energies. This is my definition of being fully. As one practices Taoist loving. It’s all universal energy there for us to use to feel our bodies. we become more accustomed to feeling our body’s true. It’s my experience that when you learn to release blocked energy in healthy ways. I’d like you to consider for a moment the possibility that love is really an energy … an energy which we may feel in our bodies in many different ways. This is by itself a good reason to learn these skills. and so on. it’s very important to redefine how one looks at love and lovemaking. you learn redefine. or consciously. and where by doing so. You may learn much of this in the books which I list at the end of this video. “being deeply in touch with your body and psyche and knowing how to express yourself in healthy ways with another person”. I speak of the energy in our bodies which is there for each of us to use in whatever ways we choose.. control or heighten the orgasm. and the other energies as well. But good news! This is definitely one course of study where practice is at least half the fun! The energy you can access during Taoist loving is virtually the same energy that’s been used for centuries for awakening to one’s higher self. Yet. with ways we’ve kept ourselves from being 5 . this release often brings with it a kind of conscious realization. or authentic. and in a sense. or move our bodies. If you’re new to this philosophy. revitalize and re-experience the act of loving. loving . And we can learn to release the good feelings which have been hiding under the repression of love energy. you may need to practice it extensively in order to develop the necessary skills. it’s clearly not just physical – but rather ideally is the perfect merging of sprit and flesh.sacred and very physical ways. Obviously. there’s a very particular philosophy of life at work here which serves the Taoist very well. As we learn to release the old energies in our body. When one begins to become a conscious lover.

And it must be shared in loving ways. Energy is energy. without the need to respond to this sensation in any particular way. You’re supposed to know how to use love for yourself. both in terms of the sensations I’ve found in my body and in terms of moving me beyond my formerly unconscious reactions and blockages. it’s because no one ever told you what love really is. and learn more deeply what it means for you. be it meditation. and allowing this energy to be in the body. It’s meant to be shared. If any of these things aren’t true for you. True loving comes from being compassionate and sensing your own body in ways which will help your lover feel his or her body and access their higher self. it can be given to others. one may attain a state of “samadhi”. it becomes stagnant. and how to give it to others. Perhaps you need only to practice sensing love. the sensing of energy. even painful. or mindfulness … something which has helped you become more aware of what’s happening in your body and your soul. once we achieve awareness of the blocked energy and allow it to move spontaneously. once you re-access it inside you. Such movement of energy I believe is very much guided by our own soul. Simply feeling the sensation. You’re supposed to know how it feels. which can also let you know where a part of the body is holding back energy. Love is no different than other energies. or through another being. and it can cause distress in the body. or for one reason or another you weren’t able to understand it. One may access a state of simple awareness. in ways which also assist their partners in having a more satisfying lovemaking experience. much as you would give them any other energy. or to move through the body. 6 . Perhaps you’ve practiced a form of it. almost as if on its own.better lovers. It must be shared to be healthy. Receiving love well takes practice. for healing or whatever I believe giving and receiving love is the real reason we’re on this planet. I’ve practiced various awareness techniques for many years and have found the results to be amazing. Love is intended to feel good in the body. If you hold energy in your body. or bliss. which is commonplace in Taoist loving practice. This is very important to this work. Because good lovers know how to feel their bodies and they know how to respond to their bodies and their needs. And you need to pass it on to others. You need to feel it in your body. This awareness training is extremely powerful. You need to let love into your life. Because love is an energy. When love comes to you. When one allows energy to move through the body. or conscious movement. Much of the focus of Taoist loving is on the simple feeling or sensing of the body. you need to practice receiving it. whether it’s from the universe as any other energy comes to you.

For others. Did it feel good in the body? Or did it hurt in some way? Contrary to the song titles. On the other hand. Real love feels good . I imagine you've had this feeling. and love is not pain.usually accompanied by the feeling that the other person is "all there is". said.Some people share “love” in less than loving ways. Most people probably settle for the fleeting experience of romantic love. If it hurts. and therefore is not real. Usually romantic love is a feeling. “what’s real is what never changes”. it comes and goes by the hour. Romantic love comes and goes. Universal love is always here. When most people think of love. Lao Tsu. often about many different people. in order for it to be love. Most of us have. Did it feel right to share it? Or did a come from a place of frustration. If you’ve been sharing love in ways that don’t feel good. accompanied by other sub-conscious feelings which are buried in the body and need to be released. dependent on another being. 7 . Many centuries ago. Romantic love changes. love does not hurt. It’s not dependent on another being. ways that feel good to you and to others. They may think it’s love. You need to learn to share love in loving ways. that which I call “Universal Love”.or at least it’s supposed to. it may take many years for romantic love to “wear off”. is an illusion. But when it does. Romantic love is often a form of ego love . it’s an illusion. it’s not really love. That’s right.because they don’t believe they’re worthy of experiencing real love. It’s not love at all. If it’s really love. or inadequacy. credited by many as being the founder of Chinese Taoism. as I’m about to define it. or grief. I define “Romantic Love” as limited. romantic love. etc. non-existent beyond the human level of reality. but rather is the energy of which I speak that comes to you from your universe and can never be taken away from you. It comes and it goes. it’s not love. then I invite you to look at how you’ve been sharing it. what most people probably think of when they think of love in relationship. or desperation. Many people have this feeling all the time. but it’s not. This leads me to make a rather provocative statement which you may not easily accept: Romantic love. but most people probably don’t often experience it as it’s intended. or from some other place of pain? Look at the sensation behind the sharing. is an illusion. it’s often accompanied by feelings of guilt. is permanent. It’s something else. For some people. or they haven’t learned to experience it. because romantic love is difficult to maintain. in terms of the energy of love. and therefore. Universal love goes on forever. it feels good. and as such. not real in terms of expansive forms of consciousness. either to you or others. or the like. People come here to experience love. or even a thought. This is because romantic love isn’t love at all. impermanent. they probably think of the love between two individuals. They may often settle for less .

You may feel wonderful. as happens in romantic love. Real love can never be taken away by another person. you may be devastated. Yet. You’re free to give love without experiencing loss when it’s taken away. beyond most people’s abilities to control them. The person may have gone away. The problem is that it’s temporary. It’s not universal. the love that can’t be given and taken away . They may have had a change of mind. It’s not dependent on human emotions and feelings. No chance of it leaving when another person does or doesn’t do anything. Always and unconditionally. It’s like nothing can be wrong when you’re feeling this feeling. Or completely depressed. Or confused. It gives them a feeling of ecstasy. You may experience ecstasy in your body. Real love is an expression of the universe. it’s always conditional. Your ego may be demolished.Once you remove all the obstacles to experiencing real love . It makes them feel “complete”. This feeling may leave you at any time. That something is universal love. Romantic love is dependent on how others feel about you. and it may go. Something may happen to remove this feeling. you may feel complete. Because romantic love is dependent on all these factors. which go far beyond the “normal”. They may have left you because of something you did. on how well they’re able to receive the “love” you’re giving to them. there is something better. You may be angry. Romantic love comes and goes. depending upon various circumstances.’re free to give real love to others unconditionally. It may come. Because someone has taken their love away from you. It may be you. It’s always there for you whenever you want it. That’s how romantic love works. It’s not unconditional. when you’re experiencing it. But real love can never be taken away. It’s not unlimited. It’s a part of them.the love that knows no bounds. You deserve 8 . It can also be experienced by yourself. romantic love is probably the most powerful force which many humans ever experience. you may take a nosedive. You may feel as if you know who you are. It’s beautiful. Suddenly. It extends far beyond the physical human plane. It lets them know there are forces at work on this plane which are unseen. or it may be the other person. it’s not romantic love. When you’re ‘in love’ in the “romantic” sense of the word. Yet. the love that doesn’t involve control of some kind. and when it leaves. As if they have to do something to be loved. but the results may be devastating. It can be experienced with another person. It can be experienced by many persons at once. It’s given by the universe. It’s none of those things because it’s dependent upon other human beings. Why then don’t more people bask in the glow of unconditional universal love all the time? Probably it’s because they believe they don’t deserve it. You may feel that you’re a beautiful being. It’s there for anyone to experience whenever they want. But nothing is further from the truth. and on a number of other factors. Whatever happened. Romantic love really is the best that it gets here for most people. everything that meant anything to you is gone.

caring. sensual. you become capable of loving another person more completely when you give up the illusions of romantic love. Universal love is the most consistent thing on this planet . Just because you’re here. a passionate. sensitive. It’s always there for you. You can learn to love the Taoist way. give it a try and learn how you can be more loving in all your relationships when you accept yourself as a loving and loved being. This has been a quick introduction to the basics of Taoist loving as I practice and teach it. and you may want to sign up for a seminar to experience it for yourself. You do need to learn to let yourself be loved. It’s always there for you. Learning to let the universe give you the love it has for you may be a completely foreign concept to you. If much of this is new to you. 9 . Many people have difficulty with this idea until they find a way to try it and discover how powerful universal love can be. You can learn to truly enjoy lovemaking and sacred pleasure as human beings are intended to do. That’s the challenge. You don’t need to do anything to be loved . When you know that no one can take love away from you. You won’t fear loss so much. You will find more satisfaction and less fear in your life.5 License.loved just for being who and what you are. no matter what you do and no matter what someone else does. You will learn to let go of the ups and downs of romantic love. you’re much more free to be in relationships. And it can’t be taken away. Learning to experience universal love can make all your relationships work much better. and completely expressive lover.unconditional love all the time. Perhaps the real beauty of learning to accept universal love in place of romantic love is that you see and feel how much you are loved .and everywhere in the universe. and be that as fully as you can. Nothing to do but be that. Much the opposite. you will be much gordon@lightreport. You become free to express yourself fully in all that you do with your lover. Unconditional love from the universe can’t be given. There’s nothing boring or non-pleasurable about being a Taoist or Tantric lover. You become what you came here to be.except let yourself be loved. You can have more passion and more true love in your life! Gordon Artrias Rosenberg http://lightreport. Learning to love yourself may not be so easy. You’ll learn that you’re a loving being. I recommend reading recommended books for more information. If you let go of the need for romantic love and know that universal love is This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.