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Article 1 : 9gag The /b/rocode clearly states that 9gag are a bunch of fags. ALSO >>401114296

Article 2 : A bro is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it Note: Had Butch Cassidy come charging out of the cabin alone people would have b een li e, "Dude, come one". If only one Spanish dude had decided to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would've been li e, "Dude, co me one". If only Tommy Lee had worn eyeliner in the early day of Motley Crue, pl eople would've been li e, "Lady, come one". The license to be stupid is why we h ave Bros in the first place.

Article 3 : If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his nee when fu ll-grown COROLLARY: Naming a lapdog after a pro wrestler or a character from a Steve McQu een movie does not absolve a Bro from the spirit of this article

Article 4 : A Bro never divulges the existance of The Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred doucment not to be shared with chic s for any reason... no, not even t hat reason Note: If you are a woman reading this, first, let me apologize: it was never my intention for this boo to contain so much math Second, I urge you to loo at this document for what it is- a piece of fiction m eant to entertain a broad audience though the prism if stereotypical gender diff erences. I mean, sometimes it really is li e we're from different planets! Clear ly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules containe d within. *Those boots are adorable, b-t-dub.

Article 5 : Whether he cares about sports or not, a Bro cares about sports.

Article 6 : A Bro shall not lollygag if he must get na ed in front of other Bros in a gym loc er room COROLLARY: If a bro gets na ed in a loc er room, all other Bros shall pretend th at nothing out of the ordinary is happening while, at the same time, immediately averting their eyes. When in doubt, remember the old adage: "If a towel drops t o the floor, so should your eyes".

Article 7 : A Bro never admits he can't drive, even after an accident












Article 8 : A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro There are no sentiments between Bros that cannot be articulated through the conv enience and emotional distance of electronic mail. CONGRATULATIONS To: Bro From: Bro Subject: Bro! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Nice. Bro! GET WELL SOON To: Bro From: Bro Subject: Bro... Bro. EMAILS FOR ANY BROCASSION SYMPATHY To: Bro From: Bro Subject: Dude -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sorry. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------Don't give up. HAPPY BIRTHDAY To: Bro From: Bro Subject: Dude . The following are a few email s for any Brocassion that succinctly get the message accross without costnig you the trouble and expense of having to find and then send an actual greeting card . Bro.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------Drin s on me. and that a brea up need not be hazardous. This is when a Bro most need s his Bro to remind him that there are plenty more chic s in the ocean.. THINKING OF YOU To: N/A From: N/A Subject: N/A -------------------------------------------------------------------------------N/A Article 9 : Should a Bro lose a body part due to an accident or illness. but only after first dis closing an honest estimate on both time commitment and number of large pieces of furniture. too!" "She loo s li e a younger you" "I will finance a boob job" "Sorry I threw out your shoes" "Your sister let me do that" Article 11 : A Bro may as his Bro(s) to help him move. Bro. stuc in the doorway . stressful. his Bros retain the rig ht to leave his possessions where they are . metaphorically spea ing. Fo r some reason he's worried she'll become agitated or even violent after he calml y explains his desire to have sex with her friends. Article 13 : All Bros shall dub one of their bros his wingman                             . If the Bro has vastly underestimated either. or even time-consuming. of course Article 10 : A Bro will drop whatever he's doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chic It's normal for a Bro to get confused and disorientated when dumping a chic . SIDE-BRO: HOW TO DUMP A CHICK IN SIX WORDS OR LESS "Maybe try a side salad instead" "Cute! You're growing a most cases. It's still a high five and that Bro st ill has a lot of balls. his fel low Bros will not ma e lame jo es such as "Gimme three!" or "Wowm quitting your job li e that really too a lot of ball". Article 12 : Bros do not share dessert..

Cals College Foto: http://soundcloud. Soufian Ijsselstein.hyves.Paulusschool Middelbaare school .html Greetingz @GoogleSWE Article 16 : A Bro should be able. Dude.Article 14 : If a chic inquires about another Bros sexual http://partyfloc . he is entitled to any ex cess monies accrued after can canvassing the group. You can only scream at those beneath you. and the tradition has been screamed from generation to generation. to recite the following reigning champions: Super Bowl. at any time. quic /minidox s0uf AKA. Better to have women thin all men ar e stupid than to tell the truth. But you ca n t just scream at anybody . Article 17 : A Bro shall be ind and courteous to his co-wor ers. World Series and Playmate of the Year. However. a Bro shall not get angry of another Bro says. America was built on the bac s of men and women who were yelled at to wor harde r. unless they ar e beneath him on the pyramid of http://soufiannn. a Bro shall honour the Brode of Silence and play dumb. NOTE: To avoid confrontation. Article 15 : A Bro never dances with his arms above his hac ingmsn@live. it s a good idea for the bro to jettison the receipt before returning to the Nederland Bassischool . 17 jaar localhost@live. Article 19 : A Bro shall not sleep with another Bro s sister. For example my own corporate Scream Pyramid [Pyramid Under Construction] Article 18 : If a Bro spearheads a beer run at a party. your sister s hot! COROLLARY: It s probably best for everyone if Bros just hide pictures of their sis                   .

Open liquor bottles and dust the bar to give the impression you actually use it. Open all windows. Disconnect answering machine. Article 20 : A Bro respects all his Bros in the military because they ve selflessl y chose to defend the nation. because in this situation. I happened upon a copy of the rumoured tome. If a chic hears a chic -empowering song li e I Will Survive. but here are some of the phases I remem ber seeing on the frilly pages within: A chic shall not sleep with another chic s ex-boyfriend. she shall stop whate ver she s doing. Article 21 : A Bro never shares observations about another Bro s smo ing-hot girlf riend. A chic may get a dog as a pet. Display all remote controls on the coffee table. I didn t have time to flip must past the pin bedazzled cover. CHECKLIST FOR BRO-PROOFING YOUR HOME Hide all pictures of hot sisters. move printed porn from the bedroom to the bathroom. unless she does. Even if the Bro with the hot girlfriend attempts to bait the Bro by sayin g. rather than simply stripping down and wrestling it out. but more to the point. huh? a Bro shall remain silent. As a courtesy. each retains the right to accidentall y spill a drin on the other. and shrie the lyrics at the top of her lungs. Why? Because they can translate and navigate the conf using and contradictory whims that comprise the Chic Code. Women ma e excellent Bros. they shall ma e catty remar s and pretend to ign ore each other. grab another chic s hand. If two chic s are wearing the same outfit. or Call Mom an hour before your Bros arrive. If two chic s get into a fight. before slipping out the door wile my hostess was in the shower. coasters. Usher girlfriend/booty call off the premises.ters when other Bros are coming over. Article 22 : There is no law that prohibits a woman from being a Bro. DO CHICKS REALLY HAVE THEIR OWN CODE? Yes. moms and first cousins. coasters! Sign out of email account. A chic never pays for anything.                                                   . I m afraid so. She s smo ing-hot. Ever. A chic shall not operate a motor vehicle in a safe manner. regardless of functionality. but only if it fits in her mailbox. A chic has a free pass to slut it up on Halloween. One morning. Coasters. he s the only one who should be baiting. Scan DVR playlist and remove embarrassing TV programs li e daytime tal shows. because they can ic his a ss six ways to Sunday.

Said Bro must use any and all methods of media distribution at his disposal. "What is this a chic s' restroo m?" if there are more than two dudes waiting to pee. despite the cost of savings. A Bro must. surgery programs. barring any other reasonable method. shouting. communicate the possibility of fisticuffs between two humans of the female variety (henceforth "girl fight"). in timely manner. Bro. (2) ma es the obligatory comment. even at a resort pool or the beach. Article 26 : Unless he has children. a Bro shall not wear his cell phone on a be lt clip. carrier pigeons. the spotter Bro is responsible for documenting and relating details of the girl fight via pictures. or. Article 30 : A Bro doesn't comparison shop. a Bro (1) stares straight ahead when usi ng the urinal. women s athletics. Article 27 : A Bro never removes his shirt infront of other Bros. and on some occasions. including but not limited to: te lecommunications. and (3) attempts to shoot h                 . Article 24 : When wearing a baseball cap. a Bro may position the brim at either 12 or 6 o cloc . Article 29 : If two Bros decide to catch a movie together. This includes. Article 32 : A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until he's at least thirty. unless at a re sort pool or the beach. they sh all not split a tub of popcorn. video. Corollary: A Bro with a coat of fur on his bac eeps that thing covered at all times. in timely manner. and telepathy. in an effort to ma e possible and probable that another Bro or Bros can parta e in observation.Article 23 : When flipping through TV channels with his Bros. Article 28 : A Bro will. A "t imely manner" is open to interpretation based on the initial Bro's viewing and p rocessing of the potential feminine conflagration. fiber optics. All other angles are reserved for rappers and the handicapped. If an informed Bro is unable to witness the girl fight first hand. exercise shows. they may not attend a screening that begins after 4:40 PM. postca rds. a Bro is not allow ed to s ip past a program featuring boobs. Also. Article 33 : When in a public restroom. but is not limited to. choosing instead to procure individual bags. elbow nudging. interp retive dance and/or pantomime. alert his Bro to the existence of a g irl fight. Sorry.

Chic : So you've been staring at her breasts. then??? Correct Answer Chic : Ugh. Bro: I Wouldn't now. fa e breasts may arise. Bro: Whose? Chic : You now who I'm tal ing about. a Bro alays decries fa breasts. those must be fa e.. HOW TO HANDLE FAKE BREASTS Wrong Answer Chic : Ugh. Bro: Totally. her breasts are so fa used paper towel into the trash can li e a bas etball. why don't you go marry her. Bro: No? Chic : Well then. Yes. her breasts are so fa e. When in conversation with a woman. huh? Wrong Answer Chic : Ugh.. Unnatural is unsexy. her breasts are so fa e. Chic : Oh. but not in the way at you'd li e. Article 37 : A Bro is under no obligation to open a door for anyone. If a women   Article 36 : When jquestioned in the company of women. Bro: Oh.       Article 35 : A Bro never rents a chic flic . Chic : So you've been staring at her breasts. Article 34 : Bros cannot ma e eye contact during a devil's threeway. And n't be fooled into thin ing your prepared speech on the beauty of the natural man form can get you out of it. her breasts are so fa e. rebounding is option al.                     e th or do hu                           . It's not uncommon for a woman to deftly use tric questions in der to probe a Bro's real thoughts on the subject of breats augmentation. huh? Wrong Answer Chic : Ugh. Well they are.

women everywhere will expect guys to call them the next day.if a woman gives me her phone number. Honestly.late-night phone calls are the province of the booty call. which ultimately means less conversation. EXCEPTIONS: Watching Field of Dreams. he waits at least ninety-six hour s before calling her. and only th e booty call. Q: O ay. Note: Never call aft er 9 PM-. By waiting an extra day. and all because you couldn't wait ninety-six little hours. E.* *Applies only to the first time he retires.. Article 38 : Even ina fight to the death. Article 39 : When a Bro gets a chic 's number. Article 43 : A Bro loves his country. you call a woman the next day. his Bros shall stage an intervention and atempt to heal him. You'll have a better chance of catching her voice mail. then they can open th eir own doors. you can bet that women have. a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin. you can ma e the chic fe el special.T. Article 40 : Should a Bro become stric en with engagement. this is more commonly nown as "a bahelo r party. When's the best time of day to call ? A: Cal during the middle of the day. I've waited ninety-six hours. Before you now it. unless that country isn't America. doesn't that mean she wan ts me to call her? Why do i have to wait so long? A: Broflation. With any luc you'll be a ble to set something up without ever having to tal to her. or a sports legend retire. and soon enough. too.                     . Q: I've always heard you wait three days? Why does the Bro Code specify four? A: If you've always heard that a bro should wait three days before calling. they're not that heavy. Bros the world over w ill find themselves trapped in unreasonable increase in female expectations about how Bros sh ould act." Article 41 : A Bro never cries. SIDE-BRO: ASK Uncle Barney Q: I'm confused. See Article 92 for further elaboration.insist on having their own professional bas etball league.

When a chic meets a Bro there are three things she wants to now: 1. or other safari animal motif. but a bro never answers the third question. *Tric question. Is he shorter than her? 3. 2. Article 46 : If a Bro is seated next to some dude who's stuc in the middle on an airplane. Article 45 : A Bro never wears jeans to a strip club. 3. zebra.e. Denim clashes with a club's leopard. he shall yield him all of their shared armrest. three hours in the ER: Zipper. sex is being with held until he supplies a tally). or (d) purchased headphones after they announced on-fligt movie is 27 Dresses. Bros don't watch ballet. these erotic dancers have practiced tirelessly on a technically demanding piece of choreographed art.It's a performance. How many chic s has he banged? Eventually. You don't feel it as much on your azoo. she will figure out the first two. Cloth poc ets are roomier and more elastic.. allowing for thic er wads of cash . One word. EXCEPTION: If the Bros are within 7 degrees latitude of the equator. and deserves respect. WHY A BRO NEVER WEARS JEANS TO A STRIP CLUB 1. he can calculate an acceptable number using the following formula: HOW MANY CHICK IS IT SAFE FOR A BRO TO SAY HE'S BANGED? n= (a/10 + s) + 5 n= number of chic s a= Bro's age s= inquiring chic 's slut factor (1=nun. however. How much money does he ma e? 2. Not even in Europe. a bro feels compelled to answer (i. COROLLARY: A Bro never reveals how many chic s another Bro has banged. Article 47 : A Bro never wears pin . Would you wear dungarees t a ballet?* 5. 4. two syllables. (c) ma es the bro get up more once to use the lavatory. unless the has (a) ta en his shoes off. If. Article 48 : A Bro never publically reveals how many chic s he's banged.Article 44 : A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro. 10 former nun)                                 seat dude than the . (b) is snoring. See Article 35.

If you can't get a bro to scope out your blind date beforehand. including halloween. Who showed me pics of her fam. Article 52 : A Bro is not required to remember another Bro's birthday. loading an expensive TV into an expensive car. Article 54 : A Bro is required to go out with his Bros on St. BROETRY CORNER There was a young lass from Killarney. Though a fat lie this is. So i dumped her that night on the tram. "i got it. there is a way t o at least learn how promiscuous she'll be have her choose the date venue. both Bros silently agree to continue on as if it never ha ppened. I was in love with a chic named pam. Article 50 : If a Bro should accidently stri e another Bro's undercarriage with his arm while wal ing. a bro never borrow s from or lends clothes to another Bro.                 . But her mom was fat. though a phone call every now and again probably would't ill him. "Do you need some help?" a Bro shall automatically resp ond. That she only was his. Pretty cute cat. 'Cause last night she was screaming "O'Barney". Article 53 : Even in a drought. New Year's Eve. Patty's day and ot her official Bro holidays. a Bro flushes twice. Who promised a gentleman named Arnie. and Desperation Day (February 13). Article 55 : Even in an emergency that requires a tourniquet. EXCEPTIONS: Carrying an expensive TV. BLIND DATE TRANSLATIONS currently under construction. parallel par ing an expensive car." whether or not he's actually got it. Article 51 : A Bro chec s out another Bro's blind date and reports bac with a t humbs-up or thumbs-down.Article 49 : When as ed.

WHEN BAIL IS CRAZY EXPENSIVE? Crazy Expensive Bail > (Years You've Been Bros) x $100 Article 60 : A Bro shall honour thy father and mother. for they were once Bro an d Chic . becomes aware of another Bro's anniv ersary with a chic . a Bro never thin s of them in that capacity. I don't understan d why. the Bro who counts aloud to ten the fastest has dibs. Article 59 : A Bro must always post bail for another Bro. the Bro who brought the last round of drin s has dibs. he shall endeavor to ma e that information avaliable tho hi s Bro. Article 57 : A Bro never reveals the score of a sporting event to another Bro un less that bro has thrice confimed he wants to hear it. If they're the sa me height. Chic s seem to thin annual events other than Mardi Gras. Further. to Avoid Broflation. Should the dry spells be                                       . it's more than o ay for a Bro to eep the whis ers arou nd hes mouth untill the end so that he might temporarily experiment with differe nt facial hair configurations. Exception: Tom Sellec . crazy expensive. and the day the swimsuit edition comes out are worthy of celebration. a bro is only allowed to a lert one Bro. unless its out of stat e or. the NFL Draft. Exception: When shaving. either. Article 62 : In the event that two Bros loc on to the same target. However. If they have n't purchased drin s yet. Article 58 : A bro doesn't grow a mustache. but i do now if become involved with a woman for more than the o ccasional toss in the hay (which is expressly not advised). a Bro may not speculate on the anticipated Bro/Chic Rati on of a party or venue without first disclosing the present-time observed ratio. the Bro with the longer dry spell has dibs. li e. However. the Bro who calls dibs first has dibs. regardless of whether he thin s is Bro already nows.Article 56 : A Bro is required to alert another bro if the Bro/Chic ration at a party falls below 1:1. If both arrive at the number ten at th e same time. the taller of the two Bros has dibs. Article 61 : If a bro. If they both call dibs at the same time. for whatever reason. you'll need to be ab le to recall bertain days of the year with relative accuracy.

provided th e chic is still there. scissors for Bros. paper.of equal length. a game of discreet Broshambo* shall determine dibs.     . *Roc .

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