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TRAIT PRACTICE:

SENTENCE FLUENCY
PRACTICE FOR: Beginning sentences in different ways Writing sentences of varying lengths Writing sentences that flow well
HOTTIPSFORWRITINGBETTERSENTENCES:


1. Combineaseriesoflittle,choppysentencesintoonesmoothsentence: Thetornadostruck. Itstruckwithoutwarning. Itcauseddamage. Thedamagewasextensive. Writeonesentenceusingallfourofsentences: _____________________________________________________________________________ 2. Useconnectingwords(but,also,and,yet,however,nevertheless)toshowhowideasrelate. Thespeakerwasyoung,nervous,andinexperienced. Shemesmerizedthecrowd. Writeonesentenceusingaconnectingword: _____________________________________________________________________________ 3. Adddetailstocompletethepicture. Shestoodthere,lookingatus. Writethissentenceaddingdetail: _______________________________________________________________________________ 4. Watchoutforrunons(multiplesentencesjammedtogether). Ithoughthisboringlecturewouldneverendmyeyelidsweredroopingmyfeetwere goingnumb. Rewritethesentenceusingmorethanonesentence: 5. Watchoutforramblersrunonswithandinserted.

Herbywasclumsyandheservedthesaladanditspilledoneverythingandmymother abouthadafitandshescreamedandthecathidunderthestairs.

Rewritethesentenceusingmorethanonesentence: 6. Makesurepronounreferenceisclear. a. Whenhestuffedtheparrotintothecage,itmadeanoddsqueakysound.(Whatmade thesoundtheparrotorthecage?) Rewritethesentencemakingitclear: 7. Avoidshiftsinvoice. a. Iwaswalkingdownthestreetonthiscold,clearday,andsuddenly,yousawthisdark cloudonthehorizon. Rewritethesentencewithconsistentvoice: _______________________________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________________________________

Sentence Fluency

Read the following paragraph. SASHA I love my dog Sasha. She is cute. She is black. She has white spots around her eyes. She has a short tail. Her tail is short because it got run over once. She has a little black nose. She has one ear that stands up. She has another ear that lays down. She has a pink tongue. She licks everyone. She has wet licks. Sasha is curious. Sasha digs holes. Sasha looks for things in the holes. She dug up a bone once. She stuck her nose down a deep hole once. She got surprised when she heard bees. Sasha got stung and ran away. Sasha doesnt go by that hole anymore. Sasha drags home different things. Once she brought home a box. She also brought home a bicycle wheel. She even dragged home a Tiny Tike tricycle. She got in trouble. She had to give it back. I hope Sasha lives forever!

Directions: In the space below list the first word in each sentence. Count how many sentences begin with the same word. Do you see a pattern? Are all the beginnings the same or different?

Count the number of words in each sentence and make a list of the numbers below. Are the sentences all about the same length? If so, the writing is probably monotonous and not written with very good sentence fluency. There should be short and long sentences.

Now read the revised edition of the paragraph about Sasha.

Sasha I love my dog Sasha, from the tip of her little black nose to the end of her stumpy tail, still bent from when she got ran over. Sasha has one ear that stands up and one that lies down. She also has a pink tongue she uses to lick everyones face. Unfortunately for Sasha, she is very curious, and this gets her into trouble. She loves to dig, and she often finds bones in the yard. Once, however, she dug up a nest of bees and got stung. Boy, did she run fast! Sasha is also a collector. She has collected everything from boxes to bicycle wheels to a small tricycle. When she had to give the tricycle back, she pouted for a week. Can you see how special Sasha is? In spite of all her bad habits and funny looks, I hope she lives forever!

Directions: In the space below list the first word in each sentence. Count how many sentences begin with the same word. Do you see a pattern? Are all the beginnings the same or different? Is the sentence fluency different in this sample?

Count the number of words in each sentence and make a list of the numbers below. Are the sentences all about the same length or are they different lengths? Is the writing smoother?

RevisingYourDraft

Thinkaboutit/Writeitdown

1. Thisparagraphhaseightsentences.Mostofthemareveryshort.Revise thisparagraphbycombining.Trytomakeitfoursentencesinall.
Dinosaursruledtheland.Theylivedformorethan140millionyears.Thenthey disappeared.Ithappenedsuddenly.Somescientiststhinktheclimatechanged. Theythinkitbecameverycold.Dinosaurscouldnotliveinthecold.Theydied off.

2. Mostofthesesentencesbeginwiththesameword.Revisetheparagraph bychangingsomeofthewordsandbycombiningsentences.
Thebrontosauruswasthelargestdinosaur.Itwasthegiantofthedinosaur world.Itstood12to15feethigh.Itwasmorethan70feetlong.Itwalkedon fourlegs.Ithadheavylegslikeanelephant.Ithadagiganticbody.Itlivedin marshyplaces.Itateplants.

Practice:

SmoothingOuttheWriting
Directions:Revisethesedraftssothatthewritingsoundssmooth.Takeoutoraddwords. Movewordsaround.Combineshortsentenceswhentoomanyofthembegininthesameway. Whenyouarefinished,writeacleancopyofthereviseddraft.

A. Thisispartofanewsreport.
Anoiltankerspilledoil.ItspilledintotheGulfofAlaska.Itspilledover11million gallonsofoil.Theoilspreadover600squaremilesofthegulf.Theoilwashedupon thebeachesalso.Thespillthreatensthelivesofwhaleswholiveinthearea.It threatensthesealionswholiveintheareatoo.Itthreatensotheranimals.Itthreatens thefishingindustryinAlaskaalso.Itwillbeadifficultjobcleaningupthespill.Itwill takemanymonths.Itwillcostmillionsofdollars.

B. Thisisadraftofathankyounote.
DearNadia, Thanksforthebirthdaypresentyougaveme.Thankyoufortheblueshirt,Ilike

theblueshirt.Ilikeitsstyle.Ilikeitscolor.Itfitsmejustright.Itsagreatpresent.Its perfect.Icanwearitalot.Icanwearitforalotofthings.Icanwearitwithmany outfits.Illasksomeonetotakeapictureofme.Illweartheshirt.Illsendthepicture toyou.Youllseehowhandsomeyourbrotherhasbecome! Nick

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