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NUTS a short film by Brian J. Prisco INT.


KURT comes dashing through the front door, slamming it behind him, dressed in sweat-soaked workout gear. His eyes are wild, his face is sickly green and clammy. A crusty and bloody wound runs from his neck. KURT Monica! MONICA, KURT's fiancee, comes running from the bedroom. Oh, my God! Baby. What? MONICA You're alive!

KURT I'm a hero. MONICA Where were you?

KURT I was jogging through the park. I thought I heard someone following me. So I started jogging faster. Then I heard the other person start running. So I just started sprinting. Full out. I thought I was going to get mugged. Only, I don't carry any money on me when I'm jogging, so I was worried that if they caught me, they'd get so pissed that I was moneyless that they'd immediately kill me. So I took off into the woods around the park and hid. MONICA For how long? KURT Couple hours. Til it got dark. I didn't see anyone, but I was afraid they might be hiding in case I gave up early and then they'd get me. So I waited them out. And then all around me, I saw it. MONICA Saw what? KURT All these beady red eyes staring at me from the shadows. (MORE)

2. KURT (CONT'D) I tried to stay still and quiet, but the brushes started rustling. I backed quietly away and then KAAAHH! They attacked! MONICA Muggers?! KURT Squirrels. MONICA What? KURT A squirrel fell out of a tree and bit me on the neck! MONICA Holy Christ, Kurt! We've got to get you to the doctors! KURT His eyes were glowing red and his mouth was glistening with fury. I imagine. He got me from behind. So I screamed and started rolling around on the ground, thrashing until he scrambled away. But then I remembered the muggers, and I freaked out because my screams of agony might have given away my location. So I had to hide. Without thinking, I let instinct take over. And I scrambled up the nearest tree. Baby. MONICA My God.

KURT The muggers had been waiting, those crafty bastards. They though they were so smart, dressing up like a bunch of concerned mothers pushing racing strollers, but I was on to them. So I sprung out of the tree and beat the Christ Jesus out of them. MONICA You beat up two mothers? KURT I beat up two muggers! power, right?! (MORE) Squirrel

3. KURT (CONT'D) I remembered that's how superheroes always go their powers. Spiderman got bit by a radioactive spider, and Batman got bit by a bat. Aquaman a fish. MONICA That's not how-KURT I am the Human Squirrel. I can already feel my squirrel powers activating. It's like a burning. Deep in my guts. A burning, stinging, sickness. MONICA Honey. We need to get you to a hospital. KURT A hospital? Are you insane? Honey, the government can't know about this. MONICA You need medical attention. KURT No, I need to fight crime! You need to make me a suit! Something to inspire fear. But with a bushy tail and ears. MONICA Kurt, I'm worried. KURT Don't worry. I'll only use my powers for good! Finally, I can avenge my parents' deaths! MONICA Hon, your parents are alive. dinner with them last-We had

KURT I scurried here under cover of darkness, avoiding cars, my greatest nemesis. I thought, I need to share these powers with Monica. If I bit you, I could share the abilities. KURT springs over the couch at MONICA, grabbing her arm, trying to gnaw on her wrist.

4. MONICA Kurt! STOP! Someone pounds on the door. Police! DETECTIVE Open up!

KURT They've found me! I need to boost my squirrel powers if I'm going to fight that many cops! Acorns! Must have acorns! Human Squirrel AWAY! KURT turns in a frantic circle and then leaps through the window. EXT. APARTMENT -- DAY A bodybag is zipped up and lifted on to a gurney by two PARAMEDICS. A DETECTIVE is consoling the weeping MONICA, who's wrapped in a blanket. DETECTIVE Rabies. Damnedest thing. Squirrels have been attacking dogs, but this is the first human attack we've encountered. I'm sorry, miss. Officer Guiterrez will take your statement. A LATINA officer takes MONICA inside. The DETECTIVE turns to the PARAMEDICS. DETECTIVE (CONT'D) Get him back to the lab ASAP. We need to see if we can still harvest the squirrel genome for our super soldier project. The DETECTIVE answers his ringing cell phone. DETECTIVE (CONT'D) Yes, we've got him. The package is en route. END.

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