Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

Seven The Seven Kinds of Romantic Love
By Ricardo Saul LaRosa from MASTERPIECE

OF LOVE at www.scribd.com

Death of Romeo and Juliet: Oliva Hussey and Leonard Whiting in the 1968 classic

“Puppy Love, First Love, Illusionary Love, True Love, Passionate Love, Obsessive Love and Pure Love as the seven kinds of romantic love.”

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

FIRST MEETING: Oliva Hussey and Leonard Whiting as “Romeo and Juliet” 1968 classic

Introduction:
Understanding love in the context of human relationships is a very complex and immense topic. It is as diverse, enigmatic and as perplexing as humans are themselves. The views expressed in this essay are my own and they are based on my life experience as well as observations watching people’s life implode as they destroy their lives and those of the people that they supposedly love. As the saying goes “the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence, until you get there.” I believe that love can be divided into seven types; puppy love, first love, illusionary love, true love, passionate love, obsessive love and pure love. The ideal state for people to be in love would a true love; but we do not live in an ideal world and hence our society’s divorce rate is over 50%. This article will

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
not deal with these issues; my objective is to simply propose what I believe to be the seven types of love and their brief definitions. Throughout my poetry, I have opened my soul to the general public in sharing with the readers all my heartaches, pains, despair, and hopes. When we are going through a great suffering because of love we feel as though we are the only ones experiencing this pain; however, we soon realize that what we are going through is a very basic human experience. Our selfish ego dramatizes the situation and psychologically makes us feel as though we are the only ones that have ever been hurt in this manner. The human being takes time to learn through experience and trails and errors; likewise is this thing we call love: it take time, experience and failures before we can learn from them and mature.

Puppy Love:
Puppy love is the grand introduction of love for the youth. It usually occurs during the pre-adolescence or adolescence years in a person’s life and establishes a foundation about love in their socialization process. Although we associate puppy love with youth; the concept of puppy love can extend into the teenage years and even the years of early adulthood. For example, a high school student having a crush for his/her teacher. Puppy love is normally one-sided and it usually does not develop into anything serious at all. It is a physical attraction that turns into crush but the other person does not feel the same way for person experiencing this puppy love.

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

Photo by Martin Elkort - www.martinelkort.com All Rights Reserved. Love” “Puppy Love” Coney Island 1949

As young boys and girls begin to develop a conscious of their own personalities and sexualities they begin to start having physical attractions towards another person. Here is where the socialization process as taught by the family, schools, churches, and the society at large teach the youth what is and what is not acceptable in relating with the opposite gender or same gender. The key role models here are the family members, in general, and in particular the adult members of the family or the household were the child lives.

First Love:
© 2009 All rights reserved. By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

Romeo and Juliet from the 1968 movie classic

Everyone remembers the first time Romeo and Juliet glanced at each other in the famous 1968 movie classic; it was, indeed, love at first sight. The classic William Shakespeare ( 26 April 1564 – 23 April 1616) love story of Romeo and Juliet is an incredible story from the perspective of my descriptions of romantic love because, in my view, they actually portray the seven kinds of romantic love to one degree or another. Romeo and Juliet first experience a puppy love because both of them have never been in love before; these feeling that they are feeling for each other can not be love in the start of their courtship because they do not know each other well enough. This puppy love for them quickly enter the illusionary love phase because now the infatuation is coming and is being expressed by both of them. This aspect of illusionary love is not a negative kind of love but nonetheless it is still an illusion love because both Romeo and Juliet feel that they have found their great love even though they still do not know enough about each other to seriously believe that they are really in love with each other. The type of illusionary love that Romeo and Juliet are feeling can also be considered another form of what is classically called “blind love.” However, this phase of their “love” is quickly going to change as their courtship becomes full blown.

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

Romeo and Juliet from the 1968 movie classic

Once Romeo and Juliet have had then experience of romance and intimacy they are now convinced that they are truly in love with each other; and it seems that they are truly in love. Their puppy love become a short lived illusionary love which quickly becomes their first love and true love at the same time; which is incredibly rare indeed. They have experienced a romantic intimacy; they have shared their heart’s secrets with each other; they trust each other and at this point they are dying for each other’s embrace. They have become inseparable and this true love of theirs now becomes a passionate love; which is a higher level kind of true love; but one in which they are committed to each other 100 percent and their loyalty will only be to each other. As the story of Romeo and Juliet unfolds they are confronted with the problem that their families will not bless their feelings for each other. This great societal pressures upon Romeo and Juliet push their passionate love to become an obsessive love, whereas, because of a misunderstanding both Romeo and Juliet make decisions that will lead to their demise; and their great love ends in tragedy. Upon the deaths of Romeo and Juliet caused by their families indifferences and their misunderstandings, their great love story now becomes elevated, inadvertently, to a pure love status because their love was so great and has become the legendary story that has captivates millions world wide.

Illusionary Love:
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Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

Don Quixote (Philip Hernández, right) sings to his Dulcinea (Rachael Warren, left) in Virginia Stage Company's production of Man of La Mancha.
The famous literary character of Don Quixote has become synonymous with idealism and illusionary love as he has convinced himself that Dulcinea is the true love of his life, whereas, she does not care for him at all and rejects his overtures. The 1606 novel, “The Ingenious Hidalgo Don Quixote of La Mancha,” by Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra (September 29, 1547 – April 23, 1616) is the greatest literary work to ever come out of Spain and is considered one of the greatest works of fiction ever published. To novel and poetry enthusiast alike we are indebted to Cervantes for his masterpiece. Don Quixote’s love for Dulcinea is a lost cause for she for she clearly does not love him and rejects his love. Poor Don Quixote’s idealism has blinded him completely and he can not see that his great love for Dulcinea is only an illusion. Unfortunately, there are too many Don Quixote like people walking about thinking that their love is also a true love; but everyone else sees that it is not. Even the blind dog down the street knows that it is not so. Now that is pretty bad. Another very sad case of illusionary love are those people who are victims of domestic violence. However, for these victims it is a de facto illusionary love that has created by their circumstances and many years of conditioning. Very sadly, this abusive relationship is perhaps the only kind of “affection” and “love” that the victim has ever known. This brings tears to my heart; I ask and pray to the Great Spirit of the universe that they may open their minds to their realities and given them the strength to walk away from their abusive relationships. Basically, an illusionary love is a relationship that will never work out and even though people may spend years together in this type of relationship they can never truly be happy because deep inside their spirit knows that this love is not true. This is what is sometimes called as “empty love.” Sadly too many married couples or unmarried couples stay together for the

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
sake of appearances or for the children but they are not fooling anyone but themselves. Finally, there are many cases where a person wakes up in the middle of the night and just then decides to walk out of the relationship; no explanations no note nothing; they just walkout. They realized that they were in a false love.

True Love:
True love is the ideal type of love but as I stated earlier we do not live in an ideal world, thus, this type of love is the most rare to find. What is a true love? I want to introduce this kind of love with the following famous prose from The Bible: If I speak in the tongues of men and angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a tinkling symbol. And if I have prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. And if I dole out all my goods, and if I deliver my body that I may boast but have not love, nothing I am profited. Love is long suffering, love is kind, it is not jealous, love does not boast, it is not inflated. It is not discourteous, it is not selfish, it is not irritable, it does not enumerate the evil. It does not rejoice over the wrong, but rejoices in the truth It covers all things, it has faith for all things, it hopes in all things, it endures in all things. Love never falls in ruins; but whether prophecies, they will be abolished; or tongues, they will cease; or knowledge, it will be superseded. For we know in part and we prophecy in part.

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
But when the perfect comes, the imperfect will be superseded. When I was an infant, I spoke as an infant, I reckoned as an infant; when I became [an adult], I abolished the things of the infant. For now we see through a mirror in an enigma, but then face to face. Now I know in part, but then I shall know as also I was fully known. But now remains faith, hope, love, these three; but the greatest of these is love. From 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 means that you love unconditionally, unselfishly, and that your heart and loyalty belongs to your love and no one else. It is a relationship of uncompromising devotions to each other; there are no jealousies, no pretensions, no grudges, no suspicions but truth in every aspect of the relationship. Now what I have just described many have told me that this type of love is not realistic. I reply yes you are correct that is why this type of love is so rare and very few people ever experience it. Unfortunately, many people confuse physical attraction and great sex with “true Love.” It is of course natural to be physically attracted to your lover and for a desire that the intimacy that you both share should be wonderful, however, true loves does take time to blossom. It does not happen over night. For example, after only a few dates people say that they are “in love,” but this is not possible, not usually. They are only “in like” not “in love.” There is a phase in the beginning of dating and courtship that has been called the “rose-colored glasses” phase meaning that you are so infatuated and so “in like” with a new person that you can not see his/her faults; and we all have them. A few months may pass and all your friends are wondering what you see in that jerk, but nobody dares tell you what they are thinking. Then one day you happened to wake up with a brain in your head and you realize that this person is not the one for you. You end the relationship and wonder what you ever saw in him/her in the first place. Ironically, many people who experience a true love relationship have done so while they were still in another relationship; one or both persons were not at liberty to love freely. This may sound as a contradiction but this writer can

True love

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By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
assure you that it is not. Let us look at the example of the poet whose feeling of his true love, for his blue valentine decorate the pages of this book further on. Our unsung hero has fallen madly in love with the protagonist of his poems and she in return has reciprocated his affections towards her. They both make plans for the future anticipating the time when she is liberated from her passed oaths to another. In the meanwhile they must meet in secret and their love is a forbidden one. As time passes by the poet realizes that she is not going to be free. She remains in a relationship were by her own admission she says that there is no love. At first, the poet can not understand the rationale of her decisions and starts to feel self-pity that she perhaps never loved him. More time passes and the hurt and desperation that the poet experienced coupled with his faith and a higher order love within himself for himself and the divine has opened his eyes to a new perspective how he views what had happened. The pain and suffering almost made him lose faith in love and in life but it did not. The poet picked himself up and invoked the Great Spirit of the universe to take away the hurt and to clam his suffering soul. To take away the great love he feels for his blue valentine. The poet’s wish was eventually granted. He was left defeated and sad but not obliterated. He still has faith; in himself; in love and in life. He understands now that he paid a high price for loving someone whom he was not supposed to get involved with. But this was the price he was willing to pay; for once a poet always a poet at heart; the poet lives to love and loves only passionately and then he writes poems about the experience. One can say that the poet in his pursuit of true love is really “in love with love” first and than with his lover. Please do not misunderstand me. True love is, indeed, possible but they are rare and far in between; they are the exception in life and not the norms.

Passionate Love:
Passionate love comes in many forms and levels. True love (usually) must exist first before the relationship can develop into a passionate love. Here the passion must be mutual; undeniable; unyielding; unflinching; sacred and it is

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By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
the stuff that great love stories are made from. Passionate love is the elevation of an existing great love or if you will a “true love.” This is the type of love that makes a Shakespeare, a Shelly, a Van Gogh, a Di Vinci or any of the other great artist, poets, writers, painters, etc. This is a most powerful love that overwhelms a person’s whole spirit, mind, and heart. It is a most beautiful kind of love. People who love like this spiritually become as one with the other. They are inseparable and they can not live without the other. If one of them dies first the other often dies shortly afterwards of loneliness and a broken heart.

The Storm by Pierre Auguste Cot, 1880 This painting was commissioned from the artist in 1880 by Catharine Lorillard Wolfe, under the guidance of her cousin, John Wolfe, one of Cot's principal patrons. When it was exhibited in the Salon that year, critics speculated about the source of the subject. Some suggested the Greek romance Daphnis and Chloe by Longus (ca. 200 A.D.), and

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
others the romantic tale Paul et Virginie by Bernardin de Saint-Pierre (1737–1814). The experience of a passionate love is like true love very rare and few people have ever experienced this special kind of love. My critics are too quick to point out that I am again being unreasonable and unrealistic; that true love and passionate occurs more often than what I am stating in this essay. I respectfully agree to disagree with them. I remind my valued readers that my category and definitions concerning the seven kinds of romantic love are solely my opinions based on my own experiences and a life time of observing people in general. It is not a scientific analysis by any means. This type of study I leave to the PhD’s who do research this type of information. If you are interested in the study of love from a professional than I recommend you visit the website of Elaine Hatfield, Ph.D., who is Professor of Psychology at the University of Hawaii. Her website has downloadable of Frequently Requested Papers and Scales/Questionnaires which I found very interesting in my quest to understanding human love.

www.elainehatfield.com

Obsessive Love:
Obsessive love is when a person has lost all sense of what is right and wrong having been clouded by a compulsive blind love. It is kind of love where a person is emotionally obsessed with another. This is the kind of love that nobody wants or should ever have to experience. According to Chicago Psychotherapist Dr. John D. Moore, author of “Confusing Love with Obsession,” persons who confuse love with obsession: “Instantly become attached to another person, regardless of compatibility. Cannot function unless they are in a relationship. Abandon their friends and family, because they are obsessed with someone. Try to control their partners through emotions, sex, money and even food. Are unable to walk away from unhealthy, painful relationships. Are in constant fear of a partner's infidelity or abandonment. Feel empty inside when separated from a partner, experiencing extreme anxiety. Harass, stalk and obsess over a love interest in an effort to exert control.” From www.johndmoore.net

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

In his book the author explains his hypothetical sphere which he calls "Obsessive Love Wheel.” The wheel demonstrates the four stages of Obsessive Relational Progression as part of Relational Dependency. Phase one is the Attraction phase, phase two is the Anxious phase, phase three is the Obsessive phase and phase four is the Destructive phase. As one can imagine, phase four, the Destructive Phase, is the most dangerous. Here, “the onset of "tunnel vision," meaning that the relationally dependent person cannot stop thinking about a love interest and required his or her constant attention. Neurotic, compulsive behaviors, including rapid telephone calls to love interest's place of residence or workplace.” Sadly, if the person suffering from obsessive love does not seek professional help than there is great danger of someone getting hurt or worse.

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

Pure Love:

Image credit: www.askuramusic.com

Pure love may be viewed also as an idealistic kind of love but nonetheless it does exist. It is a most wonderful expression of a person’s unselfishness and placing the interests of the other person above their own interests even if it means that they are going to suffer because of it. Pure love means letting go of someone you love with all your heart and soul because you know that this is in the best interest of the other person. From my own experience, those of you that are familiar with my three poetry books, BEYOND LOVE, BLUE VALENTINE and MASTERPIECE OF LOVE, know that the greatest love of my life (to date) has been a woman whom I call “my blue valentine” and I believe that our forbidden romance passed through the true love, passionate love, and pure love phases; because in the end I had to let her go for her own best interest, not mine I assure you my dear reader. They say that men do not cry; they are dead wrong. For I have cried an ocean of tears for my blue valentine and I am not ashamed to say so;

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
because if through my mistakes and sufferings I can help others not make the same mistakes than all my poetic and prose works have not been in vain. It was a true love that literally brought me to my knees invocating the Great Spirit of the universe to take away the love in my heart for her, otherwise, I was going to have a mental meltdown. In the 1970 movie classic, Love Story, Ali MacGraw tells Ryan O’Neal what has become a famous catchphrase, “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

is a super supreme kind of love that transcends all human emotions. The only other loves that are more powerful than pure love are a mother’s love for her child and spiritual love. It is a special love that the crazy poet of this book felt when he wrote so many poems to his lost blue valentine. It was a pure love that was all he felt when he penned, “This Love,” to his lost love. I invite to you visit my three poetic works; which are only found exclusively at www.scribd.com. www.scribd.com/doc/12927402/MASTERPIECE-OF-LOVE www.scribd.com/doc/11960958/BLUE-VALENTINE www.scribd.com/doc/11366596/BEYOND-LOVE

Pure love

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
To YOU, my most cherished Readers, I thank you whole heartily for taking the time to read this essay and my poetry. A thousand blessings to you and your loved ones; may LOVE, PEACE and HAPPINESS always dwell in your life! With this poem which appeared in BEYOND LOVE I conclude my thoughts on the seven kinds of romantic love.

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© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

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© 2009 All rights reserved. By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

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© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE

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Ricardo Saul LaRosa was born on August 19, 1962 in the mountain valley of Santa Marta, Costa Rica. His family migrated to Long Island when he was five years old. He attended Freeport and Uniondale Public Schools. He holds a BA in Political Science from Queens College, City University of New York and presently is enrolled in a graduate program in Education/Social Studies. He has over 200 published articles in the local newspapers and magazines.

He is a community activist and he has been a candidate for the schools boards and the Nassau County Legislature. The author resides on Long Island and works as a teaching assistant in the public schools, a private tutor and a freelance writer. $G[QPF .QXG $NWG

© 2009 All rights reserved.

By Ricardo Saul LaRosa

Excerpt from MASTERPIECE OF LOVE
8CNGPVKPG +2. /CUVGTRKGEG QH .QXG +6/ his life’s work and his most treasured possessions and as they are all downloadable for free; they are his gifts to the whole world! He is available for poetry readings and educational lectures; contact him at singers2000@yahoo.com.

“A special thank you to all the staff and management at scribd.com for helping all new writers and poets get their works seen by a world wide wide audience. For this poet you are helping me true!” make my dreams come true!”

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By Ricardo Saul LaRosa