1,o. ¤ ◆ 1LiÞsDA., \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸ ◆ vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK.

cc\
1le Uriversi Ly oí Cuel ¡l’s Irde¡erderL SLuderL Nevs¡a¡er
CONTENTS
ArLs & CulLure
S¡orLs & HealLl
Liíe
EdiLorial
Crossvord
CommuriLy LisLirgs
Classifieds







FEATURES

TANNING
BEDS

GAIN
MUSIC FES1

NERF
CLUB
Target’s turned its target on the Royal City
Target debut in Guelph
is met with excitement
and uncertainty
cLIvIA zcLLIKc
Te recerL o¡erirg oí 1argeL or
Marcl ¸ s¡arked ciLyvide curios
iLy as slo¡¡ers Lraveled Lo ex¡lore
Lle grard o¡erirg oí Lle Ameri
car slo¡¡irg clair’s ¡iloL sLores.
Beirg ore oí Lle firsL 1argeL sLore
locaLiors ir Carada, Cuel¡l vas
irurdaLed viLl vlaL Llis rev
arrival could mear íor exisLirg
busiresses.
Rargirg írom groceries Lo cloLl
irg, 1argeL seems Lo lave iL all.
Hovever, roL everyore is cor
virced LlaL 1argeL is as big as iL
seems.
Evelire AdomaiL, assisLarL
¡roíessor oí Ecoromics aL Lle Uri
versiLy oí Cuel¡l sLaLed, “I’m roL
really sure vlaL Lle im¡acL vill
be.” AdomaiL merLiored LlaL Lle
exisLirg lard used Lo lave a Zellers,
vlicl 1argeL acquired Lle lease
lolds íor back ir :o::. As a resulL,
Lle com¡ary is sim¡ly re¡lacirg ar
exisLirg com¡arable sLore.
“IL doesr’L sLrike me LlaL iL
slould be a big vorry. Tere is
already a WalMarL ir Lovr, ard
oLler big box sLores, LlaL I dor’L
Llirk Lle im¡acL oí 1argeL comirg
Lo Cuel¡l vould be luge,” added
AdomaiL.
SiLuaLed beside large clair gro
cery sLores ard SLore Road Mall,
1argeL seems Lo fiL vell irLo Lle
ervirormerL. ScoLL LesLer, a
Llirdyear UriversiLy oí Cuel¡l
sLuderL ard allegedly Lle firsL
¡ersor Lo ¡urclase ar iLem írom
1argeL vievs, sees boLl Lle ¡os
iLive ard regaLive bereíiLs Lo
Lle com¡ary’s irLroducLior Lo
Cuel¡l, írom a sLuderL’s ¡oirL
oí viev.
“|1argeL| is ir a greaL locaLior
ard offers a vide rarge oí ¡rod
ucLs, vlicl makes slo¡¡irg
quicker ard easier. 1ime is oí Lle
esserce íor uriversiLy sLuderLs
so a busiress LlaL caLers a vide
rarge oí ¡roducLs is likely Lo be
erLicirg íor sLuderLs,” said Les
Ler. LesLer roLes LlaL le vill mosL
likely orly be ¡urclasirg grocer
ies írom Lle clair sLore, vlicl is
quiLe urlike lis iriLial ¡urclase oí
a Disrey 1arzar D\D.
“As a sLuderL, vlaL I slo¡ íor
Lle mosL is groceries. MosL oí my
¡urclases LlrouglouL Lle year are
aL No Frills ard MeLro. Nov, ií I
reed aryLlirg besides groceries,
I vill likely cleck ouL 1argeL Lo
see ií Lley lave ary good deals,”
added LesLer.
Hovever, LesLer vill roL be Lle
com¡ary’s ¡ersoral mascoL ary
Lime soor, sLaLirg, “Will I be ar
avid slo¡¡er aL 1argeL... ro, mosL
likely roL.”
As íor Lle effecLs oí 1argeL or
dovrLovr, AdomaiL said LlaL
“|iL| is a differerL ricle markeL
aryvays, so I’m roL sure 1argeL
is goirg Lo be a com¡eLiLor.” Her
o¡irior is jusL ore oí mary re
ceived by Lle dovrLovr core.
Filled viLl a ¡leLlora oí cor
sigrmerL slo¡s, caíes, resLaurarLs
ard s¡ecialLy sLores, DovrLovr
Cuel¡l las iLs ovr markeL.
“DovrLovr alvays las urique
iLems. IL las Llirgs you carroL fird
ir a 1argeL or aryvlere else,” said
Rlorda Alar, Lle ovrer oí Sec
ord Look or Quebec SLreeL. Sle
mairLairs a lack oí corcerr abouL
Lle grard o¡erirg, likerirg Lle
o¡erirg Lo LlaL oí WalMarL sev
eral years ago.
“DovrLovr is alvays s¡ecial, so
I vouldr’L be vorried,” says Alar.
Tere are lovever mary sim
ilariLies beLveer 1argeL ard
WalMarL.
“1argeL is basically Lle exacL
same Llirg as Lle WalMarL ir
Cuel¡l, jusL ir a more ¡racLical
locaLior viLl res¡ecL Lo Lle uri
versiLy ¡o¡ulaLior,” said LesLer.
AddiLiorally, AdomaiL ¡egs Wal
MarL Lo be 1argeL’s com¡eLiLior,
commerLirg, “I Llirk WalMarL is
Lle ore LlaL is goirg Lo be vorried.”
Hovever, orly Lime vill Lell
ií 1argeL vill berefiL or lurL Lle
Cuel¡l commuriLy.
e store opened last week, bringing with its American-only goods a sense of uncertainty about the
effects of the giant on Guelph’s economy.
BEN DEROCHIE
“Downtown
always has
unique items.
It has things
you cannot find
in a Target or
anywhere else.”
– Rhonda Alan
SAFEty first
Focus on sexual
assault during U of G’s
SAFE Week
ALIcJA cÞzADxcvsxA
A LslirL corLesL, ¡irvleels, ard
a dramaLic ¡eríormarce Ly¡ically
lave liLLle ir commor, exce¡L vler
brouglL LogeLler by a good cause.
From Marcl :: Lo :6, Lle Wellress
CerLre ard Lle Avareress oí Sexual
AssaulL ard FreverLior CommiLLee
(ASAF) are loldirg Sexual AssaulL
Free ErvirormerL Week (SAFE), ar
arrual cam¡aigr Lo s¡read avare
ress or Lle issue, ard lel¡ sLuderLs
become iríormed abouL Lleir ¡er
soral saíeLy, Lle Lo¡ic oí corserL,
ard vlaL corsLiLuLes a res¡ecLíul
relaLiorsli¡.
“Te sLaLs or sexual violerce are roL
goirg dovr. I Llirk iL’s im¡orLarL Lo
roLe LlaL Llis isr’L |la¡¡erirg| jusL aL
Lle UriversiLy oí Cuel¡l, buL glob
ally,” said Melarie Bovmar oí Lle
Wellress CerLre abouL Lle im¡orLarce
oí s¡orsorirg Lle everL eacl year.
Several everLs Look ¡lace aL Lle
sLarL oí Lle veek ircludirg ar ir
íormaLive board demorsLraLior ir
Brarior Flaza, vlere Lle Wellress
CerLre disLribuLed LslirLs Lo irLer
esLed sLuderLs viLl Lle sLaLemerL,
“Ready ( Lovir’: Ask FirsL.” SLuderLs
are ercouraged Lo collecL sigraLures
or Lleir slirLs, ard garmerLs viLl
Lle mosL sigraLures vill be avarded
viLl ¡rizes aL Lle erd oí Lle veek.
Firvleels vere also larded ouL ard
accordirg Lo a cam¡us bulleLir, re¡
reserLed “sLaLisLically Lle rumber oí
urdergraduaLe sLuderLs vlo could
be affecLed direcLly or irdirecLly by
sexual assaulL.” Firally, írom Marcl
:( Lo :6, e Rose Project, a LleaLre
¡eríormarce abouL a survivor oí sex
ual assaulL, vill Lake ¡lace ir Lover
Massey.
Mary Lo¡ics relaLed Lo sexual as
saulL vill be addressed durirg Lle
veek, buL Bovmar says LlaL corserL
is Lle Lleme oí Llis year’s SAFE Week.
“I íeel like LlaL’s mucl reeded, ¡eo
¡le urdersLardirg vlaL corserL is,”
said Bovmar, addirg, “We do lave
sexual assaulLs or cam¡us so iL is im
¡orLarL Lo raise Lle avareress.”
Ard Llougl some miglL assume
LlaL SAFE Week ard sexual assaulL
cam¡aigrs as a vlole orly LargeL
vomer, Bovmar says LlaL Llis is roL
Lle case. Ir íacL, Bovmar ex¡laired
LlaL, accordirg Lo SLaLisLics Carada,
ore ir :o mer vill be Lle vicLims oí
sexual assaulL.
“|SAFE| does LargeL boLl mer ard
vomer, viLl ar em¡lasis or vomer
as ir ¤6 ¡er cerL oí Lle cases iL is vio
lerce agairsL vomer by mer. I Llirk
iL’s |also| im¡orLarL Lo roLe LlaL iL
la¡¡ers ir same|sex| relaLiorsli¡s.”
Te resL oí Lle sclool year does roL
¡ass viLlouL iríormaLior or sexual
assaulL beirg disLribuLed Lo sLuderLs.
Bovmar described Lle efforLs oí Lle
Wellress CerLre Lo corLirue sexu
al assaulL ¡rogrammirg durirg boLl
semesLers, besides Lle orgoirg ¡ro
grammirg oí SAFE.
“We lave ar ASAF commiLLee, ard iL
is several cam¡us ¡arLrers LlaL come
LogeLler Lo look aL ¡rogrammirg
iriLiaLives íor cam¡us,” ex¡laired
Bovmar. “As vell, ve sLarL Lle year
oíí by brirgirg ir a ligl¡roíile
guesL s¡eaker Mike DomiriLz írom
Lle DaLe Saíe Cam¡aigr, ard le does
a ¡reserLaLior durirg OWeek ir col
laboraLior viLl Housirg |Services|.”
Te ¡ur¡ose, says Bovmar, is so LlaL
firsLyear sLuderLs geL Lrairirg or
sexual assaulL ard corserL.
Tis year, SluLWalk Cuel¡l vill be
la¡¡erirg Lle same veek as SAFE
Week, Llougl Lle Wellress CerLre
does roL orgarize Lle everL. Hov
ever, Bovmar says LlaL Lle cerLre
su¡¡orLs SluLWalk, ard Llirks iL’s
“greaL” LlaL Lle Lvo are la¡¡erirg
aL Lle same Lime.
Global to Local:
Students, staff,
and faculty on
international and
national news
From Marcl S Lo Marcl :,, Lle
SouLl by SouLlvesL IrLerac
Live Coríererce (SXSW) is Lakirg
¡lace ir AusLir, 1exas, ard vill
ergage, accordirg Lo Lle 1oror
Lo SLar, mary “brilliarL Llirkers,
Leclrological irrovaLors ard er
Lre¡rereurs |írom arourd| Lle
vorld.” Ber Rayrer, a re¡orLer
serL Lo Lle coríererce, ¡ublisled
ar arLicle or Marcl :: abouL Lle
mair íocus oí Lle coríererce íor
Llis year, or aL leasL, vlaL seems
Lo be a recurrirg Lleme so íar·
caLs. A ¡arel leld or Marcl S Li
Lled “=caLvidíesL· Is Tis Lle Erd
oí ArL:” discussed lov IrLerreL
caL videos are makirg a ¡lace íor
Llemselves ir moderr culLure,
vlile Lle IrLerreL sersaLior 1ar
dar Sauce, oLlervise krovr as
Crum¡y CaL, lad a vlole booLl
dedicaLed Lo lim, vlere íars could
Lake ¡loLos ard “meeL” 1ard. Ac
cordirg Lo Rayrer, “Hurdreds oí
¡eo¡le lired u¡ ouLside a small LerL
rear Lle AusLir Coríererce Cer
Lre íor a clarce Lo ¡ose viLl 1ard,
|…| all veekerd lorg, buL Surday
verL com¡leLely ouL oí corLrol
– Lle queue rar lorger Llar Lvo
AusLir ciLy blocks by :: a.m.” Te
OrLarior s¡oke Lo a U oí C sLu
derL abouL Lle revs sLory, ard
Lle IrLerreL obsessior viLl Lle
mosL majesLic oí all creaLures ir
Lle arimal kirgdom.
The Ontarion: WlaL are your
LlouglLs or Leclrology com¡a
ries discussirg caLs so leavily aL
ar irLerraLioral coríererce:
Hannah Green (second year Eng-
lish student): I Llirk iL’s a liLLle
ridiculous, I mear ií iL’s a |scierce
relaLed| coríererce, you Llirk
Lley’d be Lalkirg abouL more im
¡orLarL Llirgs. I urdersLard LlaL
Lley’re Louclirg u¡or ir Lle Ir
LerreL ¡leromeror |ard| lov
Llirgs geL kird oí crazy ard really
¡o¡ular. BuL, I Llirk iL’s ridiculous
LlaL Lley lad a vlole caLLlemed
semirar.
e Ontarion: Does Lle luge ir
LeresL ir caL videos irLeresL you, ir
Lerms oí iL beirg ircor¡oraLed irLo
revs sLories like Llis ore:
HG: No, I’m a dog ¡ersor, so roL
aL all. I’m roL really irLeresLed ir
ary oí LlaL. NoL a luge íar oí caLs.
anks to the participant for this
week’s interview. If you have
something to say about inter-
national or national news, and
would like to be contacted for
future issues, or if you want to
see a particular news story cov-
ered here, contact News Editor
Alicja Grzadkowska at onnews@
uoguelph.ca.
Pinwheels on Branion Plaza were a symbolic part of sexual assault awareness raised during SAFE Week.
VANESSA TIGNANELLI
“I think it’s
important to
note that this
isn’t [happening]
just at the
University of
Guelph, but
globally.”
– Melanie
Bowman
NEWS 3
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
On the catwalk
Students strut their
stuff on the runway
for the College Royal
fashion show
xLLsL. ccicLLIK
College Royal las beer ar arrual
LradiLior ir Cuel¡l sirce :¤z¸,
ard vlaL beLLer vay Lo celebraLe
Llar Lo vaLcl sLuderLs embrace
Lleir irrer su¡er models.
College Royal is ar erLirely
sLuderLrur íesLival LlaL ir
volves over ¸,ooo volurLeers. Or
Marcl ¤, a grou¡ oí Llese vol
urLeers Look Lleir duLies ore
sLe¡ íurLler ard added model
irg Lo Lle lisL oí Lleir obligaLiors.
Ard so, Lle arrual íaslior slov
begar.
CloLlirg sLores all over Cuel¡l
doraLed Lleir íasliors íor Lle
everL, ircludirg Diro’s ALlleL
ics, ArL oí Derim, ard 1i¡ 1o¡
1ailors. Or Lo¡ oí Llese brard
rames, sLuderLs also modeled
Lle laLesL LlriíL íirds írom \alue
\illage.
Hovever, ir ro vay vas Llis
a rur oí Lle mill íaslior slov.
SLuderLs roL orly marcled u¡
ard dovr Lle rurvay, buL also
sloved oíí Lleir darce skills
vlile modelirg Lle cloLles.
“I vas ex¡ecLirg Lo see colour
íul ouLíiLs, buL vlaL I acLually
goL vas a slov,” said UriversiLy
oí Cuel¡l sLuderL \almy Assam.
Ir addiLior Lo Lle íaslior slov,
Llere vas also a beard grovirg
ard Lrouser ¡aLclirg com¡e
LiLior. SLuderLs lad sirce laLe
Jaruary Lo ¡eríecL Lleir beards
ard lave Llem judged durirg
Lle irLermissior oí Lle íaslior
slov. CorLesLarLs vere judged
or a varieLy oí caLegories irclud
irg besL colour, sideburrs, ard
sla¡e. Soor aíLer beirg avarded
íor Lleir beardgrovirg eííorLs,
Lle ¡arLici¡arLs lad jusL erougl
Lime Lo be clearly slaver íor Lle
College Royal Ball.
A rev everL leld durirg Lle
slov ¡uLs sLuderLs’ sevirg
skills Lo good use. 1le com¡e
LiLior corsisLed oí Leams oí Lvo,
viLl ore Leam member ir clarge
oí ¡aLclirg a lole ir Lle oLler
LeammaLe’s ¡arLs. 1eams vere
judged or ílare, besL sevirg job,
ard íasLesL Lime, Lo rame a íev
caLegories.
“1lere vas rever a dull mo
merL Lle erLire riglL,” ex¡laired
Assam. “Wlere else car you íird
íaslior, beards, ard ri¡¡ed ¡arLs
all ir Lle same everirg:”
IL is because oí Llese íeaLures
LlaL Lle College Royal íaslior
slov is ore oí Lle mosL urique
ard erLerLairirg everLs leld aL
Lle UriversiLy oí Cuel¡l.
1le íaslior slov vas jusL ore
amorg mary everLs beirg leld
by Lle College Royal SocieLy. 1le
íesLiviLies are leld over a :zday
¡eriod írom Marcl 6 Lo :, ard
amorg Lle liglliglLs irclude Lle
Kickoíí Fub, College Royal Ball
ard Lle O¡er House Weekerd
leld or Marcl :6 ard :,.
NoL a sirgle audierce member
leíL Lle slov viLlouL a smile or
Lleir íace ard ar eager arLici¡a
Lior íor Lle remairirg College
Royal everLs Lo come.
A few enthusiastic participants showed off their model poses at the fashion show on March 8.
WENDY SHEPHERD
Newsology: Sucking it in
New York City’s valiant
attempts to pull 16 oz.
sodas from stores
ALIcJA cÞzADxcvsxA
Te vorld seems Lo lave losL ar ir
LeresL ir recogrizirg lov bad íasL
íood is íor iLs corsumers. Sever years
aíLer Eric Scllosser’s ex¡ose or Lle
lorrors oí McDorald’s, Burger Kirg,
ard Americar lamburger clair Jack
ir Lle Box ir Fast Food Nation, ard
Lle Lo¡ leadlires íor Lle veek mer
Liorirg íasL íood are, “Te Americar
FasL Food Lle World Loves” ir Forbes
ard “SecreL merus boosL buzz aL
Farera, 1aco Bell, McDorald’s” ir
USA Today.
Sure, ¡eo¡le seem Lo be more cor
cerred viLl lealLl. A look aL Lle
rumber oí ¡roducLs aL your local
Zelrs LlaL adverLise Llemselves as
beirg orgaric, :oo ¡er cerL raLural or
lov ir íaL, sodium, clolesLerol, ard
Lle revererdirg lisL oí “Llirgs LlaL
are bad íor you” is eviderce erougl.
Ter vly is Nev York CiLy lav
irg so mucl diffi culLy ¡assirg Lle
bar or sugared sodas larger Llar :6
ources: Or Marcl :z, Time magazire
re¡orLed LlaL, lours beíore Lle bar
vas Lo be im¡lemerLed, Lle Nev
York Su¡reme CourL blocked iL írom
¡assirg, Lo Lle cleers oí Llose vlo
called Mayor Bloomberg’s ¡lar a vay
Lo Lurr Nev York CiLy irLo a “rarry
sLaLe.”
Te mair issue, accordirg Lo Lle
arLicle’s sources, is Lle íacL LlaL sodas
are roL Lle vorsL drirk ouL Llere íor
you arymore, ard barrirg jusL ore
grou¡ ir Lle badíoryou drirks ir
dusLry is roL erougl Lo courLeracL
Lle ligl raLes oí obesiLy ir Lle ciLy,
rov collecLively called Lle “obesiLy
e¡idemic.”
Ar d vlile Llis is Lrue, iL is sur¡ris
irg Lo see LlaL Bloomberg’s aLLem¡Ls
Lo bar soda drirks las roL made a
marked im¡ressior or aryore, really.
Ir sucl ar a¡¡arerLly lealLlcor
scious socieLy, a drasLic bar like Llis
ore vould s¡ark more discussior
ard receive more roLice, like Lle
aLLerLior LlaL ¡ublic smokirg bars
lave beer geLLirg.
Des¡iLe Lle lack oí íocus or Lle
Lo¡ic, Lle arLicle ard Lle issue ir
gereral brirg u¡ im¡orLarL ¡oirLs.
For ore, ¡eo¡le’s ¡erceived belieís oí
Lleir civil liberLies Lo exLerd Lo Lleir
dieL, ever ií Lley are irdirecLly killirg
Llemselves by eaLirg or drirkirg
cerLair íoods. Ever viLl Lle besL
irLerLiors, Lle sLaLe is meL viLl re
sisLarce vler iL Lries Lo exerL some
corLrol over vlaL ve ¡uL irLo our
mouLls.
1vo, ií Llis bar everLually ¡asses
Llrougl Lle courL, Lle íuLure oí ur
lealLly íood miglL be bleak. WlaL’s
Lo sLo¡ a bar or McDorald’s Su¡er
Size meals, vlicl really slould be
removed írom Lle markeL íor Lle
good oí our vaisLlires, ií :6ource
sodas are ro lorger sold: Maybe ve
slould all gorge ourselves rov be
íore iL’s Loo laLe.
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
NEWS 4
Join Me on the Bridge
March to celebrate
International Women’s
Day
ccLLLLK \cDcKLLL
Arourd Lle vorld or IrLerraLior
al Womer’s Day, vomer ard mer
joired or bridges Lo creaLe a urified,
¡overíul voice íor ¡eace.
Or Marcl S aL roor, a large
crovd gaLlered or Lle Hefferrar
íooLbridge dovrLovr Cuel¡l Lo
raise barrers ard balloors ard
darce LogeLler Lo celebraLe ir Lle
irLerraLioral Joir Me or Lle Bridge
everL.
“Joir Me or Lle Bridge” com
memoraLes Lle Womer or Lle
Bridge cam¡aigr LlaL begar ir
zo:o. Womer írom boLl Rvarda
ard Lle DemocraLic Re¡ublic oí Lle
Corgo joired LogeLler or a bridge
correcLirg Lleir Lvo courLries,
vlicl vere or o¡¡osirg sides oí
var, slovirg LlaL Lley could build
Lle bridges oí ¡eace ard lo¡e íor
Lle íuLure.
Ir Cuel¡l, abouL zoo vomer ard
a íev mer crovded orLo Lle bridge
Lo joir ir a collecLive darce, cleer
Lo Lle ¡overíul voice oí vomer
arourd Lle vorld, ard raise ore
firger Lo symbolize Lle Ore Billirg
Risirg movemerL.
“I íeel like Llis is ar im¡orLarL
everL because ve laver’L goL
Ler Lo Lle ¡oirL vlere Llis Ly¡e oí
everL is roL reeded,” said ¡arLici
¡arL Raclel Sclooley. “Ore Billirg
Risirg is ar irLerraLioral everL, so
|beirg ¡arL oí Llis| íelL ¡reLLy good.
Obviously, iL’s reeded or ar irLer
raLioral scale, buL also ir Carada,
ard ir Cuel¡l, so I íelL iL vas ¡reLLy
im¡orLarL Lo be lere.”
AíLer gaLlerirg or Lle bridge,
¡arLici¡arLs gaLlered ir SL. Ceorge’s
Clurcl Hall. Mayor Karer Farbridge
s¡oke, liglliglLirg LlaL alLlougl
Cuel¡l is corsidered very saíe by
SLaLisLics Carada, iL’s im¡orLarL
Lo urdersLard LlaL Llose rum
bers do roL recessarily reflecL Lle
ex¡erierce oí everybody ir our
commuriLy.
“Wlile ve car be ¡roud ard
graLeíul íor LlaL sLaLisLic ard LlaL
krovledge, I Llirk vlaL makes us
more ¡roud ir Lle commuriLy is
ve’re roL com¡lacerL urLil every
body ex¡erierces Lle same level oí
saíeLy,” said Farbridge.
Roya Rabbari, ExecuLive DirecLor
oí ImmigrarL Services Cuel¡lWel
lirgLor, gereraLed ar a¡¡reciaLive
u¡roar vler sle suggesLed LlaL
IrLerraLioral Womer’s Day be a lol
iday íor vomer. Or a more serious
roLe, Rabbari also ¡oirLed ouL Lle
im¡orLarce oí urdersLardirg Lle
differerL ex¡erierces oí vomer
arourd Lle vorld.
“We do roL krov lov diffi culL iL
is Lo be a vomar,” sle said or Lle
lardsli¡s a vomar ir ar Aíglari
sLar village vould íace com¡ared
Lo a vomar ir Carada.
Te everL vas s¡orsored by Lle
ZorLa Club oí Cuel¡l, Caradiar
FederaLior oí UriversiLy Womer
(CFUW), Cuel¡lWellirgLor
Womer ir Crisis, Cuel¡l Cogo
CrardmoLlers, ard oLler grou¡s.
“We’ve brouglL LogeLler quiLe
a rumber oí differerL vomer’s
grou¡s ir Lle ciLy ir ore s¡oL,”
ZorLa ¡residerL Judy Brissor said.
“IL’s exciLirg LlaL ve’re LogeLler ard
doirg Llis as ore grou¡ oí vomer.”
Attendees of Join Me on the Bridge celebrated International Women’s Day on the Heffernan footbridge
in downtown Guelph.
WENDY SHEPHERD
Ontario Liberals propose tanning bed ban for youth
Legislation tabled
earlier this month will
prohibit those under
18 from using tanning
beds
AKDÞLv DcKcvAK
Te OrLario Liberals lave Labled
legislaLior vlicl vould see Lar
rirg beds barred íor Llose urder
Lle age oí :S, íorce salor ovrers
Lo ID aryore LlaL looks urder z¸,
ard ¡rolibiLs adverLisirg Lo ¡eo¡le
urder Lle age oí :S.
HealLl MirisLer Deb MaLLlevs,
viLl su¡¡orL írom OrLario Fremier,
KaLlleer Wyrre, are Lakirg clarge
ir Llis legislaLior, buL realize LlaL
viLl a miroriLy goverrmerL, Lley
vill reed su¡¡orL írom ore oí Lle
o¡¡osiLior ¡arLies.
IL is likely LlaL Lle NDF vill be
Lle su¡¡orL Lle Liberals are look
irg íor as Lley Labled a bill similar
Lo Lle ¡reserL ore ir zo:z LlaL
goL scra¡¡ed vler íormer Fre
mier DalLor McCuirLy ¡rorogued
goverrmerL.
Members oí Lle lealLl commu
riLy, ard s¡ecifically, Dr. Samir
Cu¡La oí Lle OrLario Medical
HealLl AssociaLior, su¡¡orL Lle
bar.
“Te eviderce las beer urequivo
cal over Lle lasL several years LlaL
Larrirg bed radiaLior is lirked Lo
skir carcer,” said Cu¡La. Cu¡La
verL or Lo sLaLe lis lo¡e LlaL ore
day, Larrirg beds vill be barred
íor everyore.
Ir OrLario, Oakville became Lle
firsL ciLy Lo bar Llose urder :S íorm
usirg Larrirg beds ard across Lle
courLry, Nova ScoLia las similar
legislaLior íor Llose urder :¤. Mari
Loba’s lav ¡rolibiLs Llose urder :S
írom usirg Larrirg beds. Quebec
ard BriLisl Columbia lave ¡lars Lo
¡ass similar legislaLior Lo Lle ore
Labled lere ir OrLario.
CoverrmerL irLerverLior ir Lle
s: billior, ¸,ooo¡lus salor irdus
Lry ir Carada is also seekirg Lo make
iL mardaLory íor Larrirg beds Lo
come viLl lealLl varrirg sLickers
or Llem – very similar Lo Lle ores
used or cigareLLe ¡ackages Loday.
1le irLerraLioral commuriLy
las beer acLirg or Lle scierLific
sLudies ¡roduced by raLioral ard
irLerraLioral orgarizaLiors, like
Lle sLaLemerL ir zoo¤ by Lle World
HealLl OrgarizaLior, vlicl read
LlaL Larrirg bed radiaLior lad beer
¡uL irLo iLs liglesL carcirogeric risk
caLegory alorg viLl smokirg ard
asbesLos.
Sirce Ller, Frarce, Cermary ard
AusLralia lave barred yourg ¡eo¡le
írom usirg Larrirg beds vlile Bra
zil las barred Larrirg beds ouLriglL
regardless oí age.
CommuriLy res¡orse Lo Lle rev
legislaLior írom arourd Lle ¡rov
irce las beer a mixed bag. Some
are ¡raisirg Lle legislaLior as a rec
essary sLe¡ Lo lel¡ ¡reverL youLl
írom overLarrirg ard ¡oLerLially
lover íuLure lealLlcare cosLs írom
carcers sucl as melaroma.
BoLl liberLariar ard medical
¡ers¡ecLives are re¡reserLirg Lle
o¡¡osiLior Lo Lle bar. Some o¡¡o
rerLs are sayirg LlaL írom a yourg
age Lley’ve beer advised Lo do some
liglL Larrirg beíore goirg or va
caLior Lo ¡re¡are Lleir skir íor Lle
irLersiLy oí Lle sur ir more souLl
err climaLes. OLlers are ciLirg Lle
grovirg volume oí re¡orLs roLirg
Lle viLamir deficiercies mary NorLl
Americars suffer írom alorg viLl
Lle ¡ossible larmíul Loxirs viLlir
¡o¡ular surscreer brards.
Te liberLariarmirded criLics
Lake ar adamarL sLarce LlaL Lle
goverrmerL slould roL legislaLe
someore írom Lleir ovr illlogic
or ouLriglL sLu¡idiLy ard LlaL ¡ro
libiLior is rever a soluLior íor ary
¡roblem – educaLior is.
Hovever, Lle ¡roLesL oí Lle o¡
¡osiLior is likely Lo íall or deaí ears
as Wyrre las ex¡ressed sle is “very
keer” Lo vork viLl NDF lealLl criL
ic Frarce Celiras.
“I am very mucl lookirg íorvard
Lo us beirg able Lo fird a com mor
cause or Llis.”
Wave goodbye to your fake golden glow, at least if you are under 18 years of age.
CASSIE MURDOCH
NEWS 5
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
Reading as recreation
New collection for
leisure reading at
McLaughlin Library
s1AcL. AsÞIKALL
Readirg íor erLerLairmerL may be
Lle lasL Llirg or sLuderLs’ mirds as
Lley firisl u¡ midLerms, ¡a¡ers, ard
sLarL sLudyirg íor u¡comirg exams.
BuL summer is riglL arourd Lle
correr, ard Lle seasor ¡rovides ar
o¡¡orLuriLy Lo sLray írom course syl
labi ard geL back Lo readirg – íor íur.
Tis summer, U oí C’s McLaugl
lir Library is sLarLirg a collecLior
dedicaLed Lo leisure readirg, ard is
currerLly askirg sLuderLs íor lel¡
ir cloosirg a rame. Te ¡oLerLial
rames are· Fo¡ular Readirg, CreaL
Reads, Leisure Readirg, RecreaLioral
Readirg, Cry¡l Reads, or UCuel¡l
Reads. Tere are voLirg sLickers or
Lle Nevs ard EverLs board or Lle
firsL floor oí Lle library, vlere sLu
derLs car ¡lace a sLicker urder Lle
rame Lley Llirk besL fiLs. Te rame
vill be arrourced or A¡ril ¸.
Te idea belird Lle collecLior is
Lo íocus or readirg íor íur, as o¡
¡osed Lo readirg maLerial sLricLly íor
academic ard sclolarly sLudy, Fa
mela Jacobs, IríormaLior Resources
Librariar ex¡laired.
“We also LlouglL iL vas a really
good idea oí ¡romoLirg liLeracy ard
loLs oí differerL kirds oí readirg. So
ve varL Lo irclude a loL oí differerL
Llirgs ir Lle collecLior,” Jacobs said.
Books vill be added Lo Lle collec
Lior or ar orgoirg basis based or
vlaL is mosL ¡o¡ular. Te collecLior
vill irclude boLl revly ¡urclased
books, as vell as dravirg books írom
Lle exisLirg collecLior. Tere vill also
be ar eBook com¡orerL.
“Ore oí Lle ideas Loo vas Lo ¡ull or
some oí Lle sLrergLls aL Cuel¡l, so
Lle BeLLer FlareL FrojecL, so books
abouL íood ard commuriLy, ard
lealLl ard ervirormerL, ard see
lov Llose books circulaLe versus
¡o¡ular ficLior books, versus gra¡lic
rovels, all kirds oí differerL Llirgs
ve’re goirg Lo Lry,” Jacobs said.
1le collecLior is seL Lo laurcl
ir July ard Llere vill be ar offi cial
o¡erirg ir Lle íall semesLer viLl
everLs ¡larred arourd iL, Jacobs
ex¡laired.
“I Llirk ¡arL oí iL Loo is Lo jusL sorL oí
build commuriLy. We lave Lle aca
demic Lovr square lere, so ve lave
s¡eakers LlaL come ir, ve someLimes
lave arL slovs, ve lave a loL oí dií
íererL Llirgs ard ore Llirg LlaL ve
dor’L lave is ary books or Lle firsL
floor.”
Jacobs added, “Ard readirg is
sucl a big ¡arL |...| oí academia, buL
I Llirk someLimes ¡eo¡le say iL’s roL
íur arymore because Lley’re alvays
readirg jusL ir Lleir subjecL area. So
I Llirk iL’s ¡arLially Lo ¡romoLe |...|
liíelorg learrirg, so LlaL ¡eo¡le geL
Llose skills ard Lley fird LlaL iL re
ally is |íur|, ard Lley learr Lo love
Lo read.”
Students will soon be able to take a break from heavy textbook reading, and enjoy popular books from
their favourite authors in the library.
SAMANTHA DEWAELE
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
NEWS 6
Cassettestival : Cassette culture revival
Guelph bands perform
to celebrate retro
revival of music on
tape
s1AcL. AsÞIKALL
ForgeL records, CDs, iFods ard Lle
IrLerreL – vler vas Lle lasL Lime
you lisLered Lo music or casseLLe
La¡e: Local bards ard music íars
gaLlered aL Ed \ideo or Marcl S íor
Cuel¡l’s Llird casseLLe ¡eriodical,
CasseLLesLival. Te everL celebraLed
local LalerL vlile slirirg a s¡oLliglL
or Lle arLiquaLed aralogue íormaL.
CasseLLesLival ircluded a seL oí six
releases, viLl rev La¡es by Milk
& Horey, Te Wlile, Te ReBo¡s,
ScruLireer, ard David Suzuki. Te
everL begar viLl a screerirg oí
CasseLLesLavisior \ol. :, a \HS com
¡ilaLior oí rev music videos by a
varieLy oí Cuel¡l’s musical LalerLs.
Te riglL íeaLured live ¡eríormarc
es by Milk & Horey, Dar Faille ard
Te Rebo¡s.
FeLer Bradley, sLaLior marager aL
CFRU, orgarized Lle íesLival. Brad
ley las beer irvolved viLl Cuel¡l’s
music commuriLy sirce zoo(, ard
over Lle years las viLressed Lle
declire oí CDs. Tis ¡rom¡Led Brad
ley Lo sLarL ¡eriodical La¡e release
slovs, Lo give local musiciars a
slovcase íor Lleir vork.
CasseLLes acL as ¡lysical arLiíacLs,
¡rovidirg ar alLerraLive Lo Lle de
Lacled ard im¡ersoral ex¡erierce oí
¡urclasirg, dovrloadirg or sim¡ly
sLreamirg music orlire.
“Te bards varL someLlirg Lo
remember Lleir Lime doirg Llis. I
Llirk iL’s sLill really im¡orLarL LlaL
Llere be a Largible re¡reserLaLior
oí Lle music ¡eo¡le lave made,”
Bradley said.
Tis maLerialiLy also sla¡es a role
ir lov ve lisLer Lo music, as eacl
La¡e is urique.
“I erjoy Lle variaLiors LlaL car
come viLl lavirg a La¡e ard lisLer
irg Lo iL ir differerL maclires. Te
idea LlaL music slould alvays sourd
Lle same, LlaL orce someLlirg is
recorded, LlaL’s iL, LlaL’s Lle be all
ard erd all oí LlaL recordirg ard iL
vill rever sourd differerL – LlaL’s
kird oí borirg Lo me,” Bradley said.
Wlile Llere is ar urderiable ele
merL oí rosLalgia belird Lle recerL
resurgerce oí casseLLe La¡es, Lley
lave ¡racLical a¡¡eal as vell, Lley
are clea¡ Lo ¡roduce.
Bradley said, “Records cosL a Lor
Lo maruíacLure, you reed Lo make aL
leasL ¸oo oí Llem usually, ard La¡es
are jusL Llese cuLe liLLle maclires,
Lley’re kird oí ircredible, like your
music is a maclire.”
Some criLics claim LlaL casseLLe
La¡es are ar obsoleLe rovelLy LlaL
¡eo¡le irdulge ir íor Lleir iroric
a¡¡eal (ar arLicle ir lasL veek’s e
Ontarion las irciLed some orlire
debaLes abouL Lle meriLs oí La¡es).
“I Llirk iL’s easy íor ¡eo¡le Lo
criLicize Lle La¡e revival – vlicl is
roL jusL la¡¡erirg ir Cuel¡l, iL’s
la¡¡erirg all over Lle ¡lace – as
iroric,” said Bradley.
“I do Lake umbrage Lo Lle idea
LlaL iL’s ar iroric Llirg. Feo¡le Lake
Lleir music seriously, ard Loday cel
ebraLes Lle eleverLl Lo sixLeerLl
releases or CasseLLesLival ir Lle lasL
year. SixLeer local bards lave clo
ser Lo ¡uL ouL Lleir music or La¡e
irsLead oí Llrougl oLler íormaLs.
TaL’s roL irory, LlaL’s makirg a
¡racLical ard arLisLic decisior.”
IL’s a decisior LlaL Cuel¡l’s music
commuriLy seemed Lo exLol, as Lley
erjoyed ¡eríormarces ir a room
decoraLed viLl svirls oí Lle sliry
black La¡e, viLl erdless sLreLcles
sLrevr across Lle floor. 1a¡es are
back.
e third installment of Cassettestival at Ed Video on March 8 saw six local bands release recorded
material on cassette tapes.
STACEY ASPINALL
Turning up the GAIN
GAIN Music Festival fills
Van Gogh’s to the brim
ADÞILK Þc1vIK
CAIN Music FesLival, leld aL \ar
Cogl’s Ear or Marcl ,, vas a rear
ly fivelour lorg slovcase oí some
oí Lle besL ard briglLesL LalerLs ir
Cuel¡l ard Lle surrourdirg area.
All Llree floors oí \ar Cogl’s vere
filled Lo Lle brim viLl a bourcy,
ecsLaLic audierce, ard bards rarg
irg írom íolkrock Lo meLalcore Lo
brassorclesLraLed li¡lo¡, eacl
addirg u¡ Lo ar exlilaraLirg riglL
oí music ard commuriLy.
Te firsL floor’s íesLiviLies ligl
liglLed Cuel¡l’s íolk rock scere,
viLl Odd Years, Te Medicire HaL
ard Te Cardboard NaLiorals ¡lay
irg rockirg sorgs viLl disLircLive
ard ¡ersoral íolk sersibiliLies.
Also amorg Lle riglL’s liglliglLs
vere ¡osLrock irs¡ired 1oror
LoCuel¡l bard AdverLeyes, vlo
rocked Lle secord floor viLl sloe
gaze aLmos¡lerics íully equi¡¡ed
viLl íog maclire ard Lri¡¡y
liglLirg effecLs. Te secord floor
also íeaLured KiLclererWaLer
loo’s Will Currie ard Lle CourLry
Frercl, vlose BeaLles ard ElLor
Jolr irs¡ired ¡iarocerLred ¡o¡
vas a surefire liL viLl Lle audi
erce. 1o close Lle riglL’s secord
floor íesLiviLies vas 1ororLo’s My
Sor Te Hurricare, a urique :(
¡iece li¡lo¡ grou¡. EiglL oí Lle
bard’s :( members are lorr ¡lay
ers ard creaLed massive, íurky
beaLs Lo back u¡ MC Jacob Bergsma,
ard Lle darce floor vas as jum¡
irg as Lleir killer grooves.
\ar Cogl’s Llird íloor vas
dedicaLed almosL erLirely Lo meL
alcore ard lardcore ¡urk grou¡s.
Cuel¡l raLives Mardroid Eclo
sLar ard Arklam AvaiLs, ard
1ororLo’s FarLycaL, blasLed iL ouL
viLl leavy ard melodic music,
ard mairLaired a sLeady mosl
¡iL LlrouglouL. Eacl grou¡ lad
ar irLerse ard erergeLic sLage
¡reserce (aL ore ¡oirL FarLycaL’s
írorLmar lurg írom Lle raíLers
vlile addressirg Lle crovd), ard
vas more Llar a¡¡reciaLive oí
Lleir audierce, vlo very clearly
reLurred Lle íavour viLl irLerse
moslirg ard leadbargirg.
AlLlougl Lle use oí Lle mulLi
¡le floors could lave deLacled Lle
íesLiviLies ir Lleir erLireLy, Lle ev
ersliíLirg audierce beLveer Lle
Llree sLories irdicaLed oLlervise.
Te íesLival vas a greaL success ir
Lerms oí reflecLirg Cuel¡l’s diverse
musical commuriLy, yourg ard old
came ouL Lo erjoy Lle slovs, ard
Lle merclardise seemed Lo sell
íairly vell. Te riglL’s audierce
very obviously reLurred Lle íavour
oí Lle music viLl u¡roarious su¡
¡orL ard overall la¡¡iress. WiLl
someLlirg íor liLerally everyore
Lo erjoy, Lle riglL vas ore oí greaL
erergy ard a serse oí commuriLy
LlaL Lle Cuel¡l music scere is so
dearly krovr íor.
Guelph band Mandroid Echostar was among those bands performing at this year’s musically diverse
GAIN Music Festival at Van Gogh’s Ear on March 7.
VANESSA TIGNANELLI
ARTS  CULTURE 7
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
Sunparlour Players kick off Guelph residency
Band to play Van
Gogh’s every
Wednesday
ADÞILK Þc1vIK
IL vas a riglL oí larmorious cour
Lry ard lardliLLirg rock r’ roll
aL \ar Cogl’s Ear or Wedresday,
Marcl 6. 1ororLo bards Urior
Duke ard Sur¡arlour Flayers drev
a solid, darcirg crovd íor a greaL
veekriglL oí music.
Urior Duke ¡layed Lle firsL seL
oí Lle riglL Lo a loedovr crovd,
¡layirg sorgs abouL good old vork
irg mer, Lle greaL ouLdoors, ard
losL loves. Te five¡iece bard las
a classic irsLrumerLaLior oí barjo,
guiLars, bass ard larmorica, buL
Lleir drum seL is a irLeresLirg Lvo
mar o¡eraLior viLl írorLmar MaLL
WarrySmiLl lelmirg Lle lilaL
ard Lambourire, ard bassisL Will
SLaurLor sLom¡irg Lle kick drum.
Te musiciarsli¡ dis¡layed vas as
Llrillirg as Lleir sLage ¡reserce ard
learLíelL vocal larmories. BeLveer
Lle clicker ¡ickir’ oí guiLarisL
Rob McLarer ard Jim McDorald’s
cluggirg barjo rlyLlms, Lle bard
demorsLraLed vicked musiciarsli¡
viLl learLíelL loresLy ard a dis
LircLly visual rarraLive sLyle.
“I Llirk courLry is cool agair, ard
I also Llirk Llere’s Llis seedy ur
derbelly oí alLcourLry es¡ecially
grovirg arourd 1ororLo LlaL’s
es¡ecially cool. So I Llirk Llere’s
beer a sudder resurgerce oí ¡eo
¡le irLo LlaL, so iL’s roL lard íor us
Lo fird slovs. Ever ií ve are or
Lle alLside oí Llirgs, iL’s ¡reLLy
la¡¡y, iL’s ¡reLLy liglL, iL’s easy Lo
geL irLo. Tere’s someLlirg abouL
us firdirg ar easy middle grourd
beLveer LlaL grurgy alLcourLry
ard la¡¡y íolk LlaL ¡eo¡le seem Lo
correcL viLl,” said WarrySmiLl,
Lle quirLeL’s lead vocalisL ard li
laL ¡layer.
Sur¡arlour Flayers Look Lle sLage
immediaLely aíLer ard o¡ered viLl
vailirg, irLerse DelLa blues riffs.
Tis vas Lleir firsL oí a morLllorg
residercy aL \ar Cogl’s Ear, ard
Lle grou¡ vill ¡lay every Wedres
day riglL oí Lle morLl.
FrorLmar Ardrev Ferrer said,
“A cou¡le years ago ve ¡layed íor a
morLl aL Lle Albior, ard LlaL vas
su¡er íur. We ¡layed Hillside LlaL
year, ard iL vas greaL. We like Llis
Lovr, ard iL’s a rice íeelirg íor us Lo
¡lay lere. We Loured a Lor lasL year
ard ve varLed Lo ¡lay aL a fixed
¡lace agair so ve LlouglL ‘LeL’s jusL
do iL,’ leL’s jusL do a morLllorg
Llirg agair. We Loured so mucl
ard ve jusL varLed Lo recorrecL
viLl ¡eo¡le agair.”
AirLiglL drummirg ard jargly
guiLar vork claracLerized Lleir
music, vlicl seemed aL Limes Lo
be a blerd oí everyLlirg rockirg,
írom Te WliLe SLri¡es Lo Uz. Te
grou¡’s liglliglL vas ¡erla¡s
drummer Miclael “Rosie” Roser
Llal, vlo remarkably balarced
drummirg, barjo, bass ard xylo
¡lore, someLimes aL Lle same Lime.
Overall, iL vas a greaL vay Lo s¡erd
a Wedresday everirg.
Union Duke opened for Sunparlour Players on March 6, with Will Staunton (left) and Matt Warry-Smith
splitting drum duty by each taking one foot pedal.
LEIGH LICHTENBERG
Celtic orchestra sets mood for St. Patty’s Day
Weekend concert
showcases traditional
Irish tunes
ADÞILK Þc1vIK
Te Cuel¡l CelLic OrclesLra ¡er
íormed a lovely, laidback seL aL Lle
Krox FresbyLeriar Clurcl or Sur
day aíLerroor, Marcl :o.
Feríormirg rerdiLiors oí clas
sic Irisl jigs ard reels, Lle sorgs
rarged ir Lore írom dramaLic ard
visceral Lo bourcy ard celebraLory.
A LradiLioral irsLrumerLaLior
íeaLurirg a large fiddle secLior,
guiLars, accordior, mardolir, re
corder, vlisLle, ard double bass
filled Lle lardsome, old clurcl
room viLl joyous Lores ard ricl
audiLory rarraLives, as irdicaLed
by Lle erLlusiasLic ard su¡¡orL
ive audierce oí mosLly seriors ouL
íor a slov aíLer Surday mass. Te
orclesLra is or iLs secord seasor
as a uriL ard las ¡layed ir ver
ues across Lle ciLy over Lle ¡asL
Lvo years.
Te lourlorg seL íeaLured íooL
sLom¡irg ard sirgirg alorg írom
Lle audierce, ard some Irisl darc
irg courLesy oí bardleader Fiora
McCariley’s yourg dauglLers. Te
seL’s erLireLy beauLiíully reflecL
ed or Lle ricl musical culLure oí
Lle BriLisl Isles viLl im¡eccable
musiciarsli¡ ard a laidback, ur
assumirg sLage ¡reserce.
Some oí Lle more dramaLic music
vouldr’L be ouL oí ¡lace ir film iL
eraLiors oí Lle e Lord of the Rings
or e Hobbit, ard ore car’L lel¡
buL visualize Lle rollirg, emerald
lills oí Irelard ard ScoLlard vler
lisLerirg Lo Lle jigs ard reels raLive
Lo Lle regior. IL also seems fiLLirg
LlaL Lle music vas ¡eríormed ir a
clurcl, lovever, bardleader ard
fiddler Fiora McCariley mairLairs
LlaL s¡iriLualiLy or lardsca¡e im
agery may roL lave beer Lle irLerL
vler Llese LradiLioral Lures vere
vriLLer, someLimes lurdreds oí
years ago.
“I dor’L believe s¡iriLual music
vas Lle irLerLior. I Llirk iL vas
jusL more íor Lle ¡eo¡le Lo ¡lay ir
kiLclers aL ¡arLies. IL’s ¡arLy music.
Ard a loL oí Lle music is based or
dialecL more Llar lardsca¡e, so
ScoLLisl music may Lake rlyLlms
írom differerL regiors oí ScoLlard,
ard Irisl music Lle same. So, iL’s
more based or Lle vay ¡eo¡le
s¡oke raLler Llar imageries.”
IL is irdeed ¡eríecL ¡arLy music
íor ary age, jusL ir Lime íor Lle u¡
comirg SL. FaLrick’s Day íesLiviLies.
IL vas overall a vorderíul ard
breezy vay Lo s¡erd ar lour or
a Surday aíLerroor, es¡ecially ir
Lle erjoyable ard very velcomed
:odegree veaLler ir Cuel¡l LlaL
day.
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
ARTS  CULTURE 8
Rock band USA! USA! USA!
played old and new material alike at
Van Gogh’s Ear during their visit to
Guelph on March 9.
PABLO VADONE
Jimmy Jazz gets a hint of blue
Lucas Stagg Band
comes to town
KIcx ÞLvIKc1cK
Or Marcl S, Jimmy Jazz vas losL Lo
a íull everirg ir Lle com¡ary oí Lle
Lucas SLagg Bard. AíLer ar acous
Lic seL dravr u¡ írom Lle bard’s
laLesL album, Good ings, came
a íev larderliLLirg bluesy rock
ard roll seLs. Te Lore oí Llese laL
Ler seLs oscillaLed beLveer a Rollirg
SLoresesque classic rock ard roll
íeel ard a more courLryirfluerced
sourd remiriscerL oí Blue Rodeo.
1le similariLy Lo Lle icoric
Caradiar bard is ro coirciderce,
drummer Cleave Ardersor vas Lle
origiral drummer oí Blue Rodeo,
a¡¡earirg or Lleir firsL Lvo albums,
:¤S,’s Outskirts ard :¤S¤’s Dia-
mond Mine.
“We’ve goL a good liLLle uriL
goirg, I Llirk. |Ardersor| vasr’L
Lle origiral drummer ir Lle SLagg
Bard, buL I lad beer ¡layirg slovs
viLl lim ir 1ororLo, viLl differ
erL musiciars. BuL le joired Lle
bard orce my oLler drummer verL
avay,” said Lucas SLagg.
Irdeed, Ardersor did roL ¡lay
or Good ings, vlicl las beer
ir Lle vorks íor a lorg Lime.
“I recorded Lle album Lvo years
ago, viLl a íellov ramed Faul
MacLeod, vlo ¡lays lere Morday
riglLs. |MacLeod| used Lo ¡lay ir
Te Skydiggers ard lim ard I used
Lo go or Lours – vell ve sLill do,
buL jusL more irírequerLly Llar ve
used Lo – so ve’d be or Lle road,
ard Lle sorgs Lvo years ago … le’d
geL u¡ or sLage ard ¡lay a burcl
viLl me,” said SLagg. “So vler
ve goL back írom Llis cerLair Lour,
I lad some sLudio Lime booked so
ve jusL verL ir ard ¡o¡¡ed off Lle
Lures. IL’s Laker vay Loo lorg Lo geL
firisled, buL lere ve are.”
Good ings, ard Lle o¡erirg
seL iL s¡avred, íeaLures a íev u¡
beaL rumbers like “Sle’s a ClosL”
ard “BiLLersveeL,” alorgside soíLer
ballads sucl as “1ulum,” Llougl a
cerLair melarcloly íeel ¡ervades
Lle vlole Llirg. Ir Llis vay, iL
made serse íor Lle bard Lo ¡er
íorm iLs corLerLs as a se¡araLe seL
írom Lle resL oí Lleir maLerial. Ir
sLead oí mixirg maLerial beLveer
seLs Lo ¡rovide varieLy, Lle Lucas
SLagg Bard close Lo em¡lasize Lle
corLiruiLy viLlir Lleir bodies oí
vork. Tis LacLic ¡roved ¡arLicu
larly successíul ir Lle abserce oí ar
o¡erirg acL, ir effecL, Lley o¡ered
íor Llemselves. IL also made ar ex
cellerL arLidoLe Lo Lle sLresses oí
Lle ¡recedirg veek. Te firsL seL
made íor easy lisLerirg Lo relax Lo
aíLer Lle vork veek, beíore Lle
laLer seLs ¡rovided a darceabiliLy
Lo really leL loose Lo, ií ore íelL so
irclired.
Wlile Good ings vas available
aL Lle Jimmy Jazz slov, Lle offi cial
Cuel¡l release oí Lle album vill Lake
¡lace rexL morLl.
“I lad Llis gig booked íor a vlile,
so iL jusL so la¡¡ered LoriglL Lle CD
vas available,” said SLagg. “1origlL
vas goirg Lo be Lle |release ¡arLy|,
buL iL didr’L really íall ir lire viLl
vlaL Lle club varLed Lo do, so iL’s
goirg Lo be aL Lle CorrersLore rexL
morLl.”
Ever Llougl Good ings is loL
off Lle ¡ress so Lo s¡eak, Lle bard
isr’L easirg u¡.
“We’ve goL a rev record acLually
recorded, viLl Lle Llree oí us. We’re
mixirg LlaL,” said SLagg, addirg LlaL
iL vould bear more resemblarce Lo
Lle bard’s rock ard roll side.
Lucas Stagg’s songwriting draws comparisons to Blue Rodeo, so it’s no surprise original Blue Rodeo
drummer Cleave Anderson is part of the band.
VANESSA TIGNANELLI
USA! USA! USA!
ARTS  CULTURE 9
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
What the Tech?
e old debate…
KIcx ÞLvIKc1cK
Te ra¡id advarcemerL ard ado¡
Lior oí rev Leclrology ir music
oíLer raises Lle debaLe as Lo vlicl
is beLLer· aralogue or digiLal. For
exam¡le, Llis very columr rar ar
arLicle lasL semesLer or vleLler
elecLroric music – by usirg digi
Lal sam¡les irsLead oí corverLioral
irsLrumerLs – is “cleaLirg.” Ar
oLler argle by vlicl Lo corsider
Llis debaLe is LlaL oí recordirg
Leclrology.
Jor Clarles, a member oí local
bard From EasL Lo ExiL, ovrs
ard uses ar old eiglLLrack La¡e
maclire ard ar accom¡aryirg
corsole mixer. Clarles lo¡es Lo
ore day o¡er ar aralogue record
irg sLudio. Clarles’s irLeresL ir
aralogue recordirg sLems ¡arLly
írom ar irLeresL ir Lle lardsor
a¡¡roacl required íor vorkirg
viLl older Leclrology.
“I’m irLo old Leclrology, buL
overall iL’s sim¡liciLy, riglL: IL’s
a loL differerL Llar lavirg your
com¡uLer ard ¡ream¡s ard irLer
íace,” said Clarles. “Flug ard ¡lay,
iL’s sim¡le.”
Recordirg viLl digiLal soíLvare
car be coríusirg aL Limes because
Lle ¡rocesses o¡eraLirg irside Lle
com¡uLer are more absLracL. Com
¡uLers car also be ¡rore Lo crasles.
“I’ve beer ir sLudios vlere
Llirgs alvays go vrorg viLl
com¡uLers, buL rarely aryLlirg
goes vrorg viLl ar aralogue ma
clire urless iL’s really old ard roL
mairLaired,” said Clarles.
TaL said, Llere are disLircL ad
varLages Lo recordirg digiLally.
“Overall, digiLal recordirgs are
a loL easier Lo Lrack ard ediL, be
cause iL’s all ir írorL oí you. You’re
kird oí acLually seeirg Lle vave
íorms |orscreer|. 1o ediL |ara
logue recordirgs|, you lave Lo
really krov your sorg, you lave
Lo be íocused Lo ediL aralogue,”
said Clarles, addirg LlaL ediLirg
volume levels digiLally car be as
sim¡le as ¡ressirg a íev buLLors,
vlereas aralogue recordirg re
quires marual o¡eraLior oí sliders
or Lle mixirg corsole.
OLler Llar ¡rocess, ore oí Lle
mair differerces beLveer ara
logue ard digiLal recordirg is Lle
sourd, viLl mary claracLerizirg
Lle sourd oí aralogue recordirgs
as beirg “varmer,” Llougl digiL
al recordirgs car come across as
“clearer.”
“I Llirk iL’s more íor Lle ¡er
sor recordirg iL |…|, because
someLimes you car really Lell ií
someLlirg’s beer recorded Lo La¡e,
ard someLimes you car’L. Usually
vler I do my ovr recordirgs I car
jusL Lell. Tere’s usually a sliglL
liss,” said Clarles.
Clarles added LlaL Lle La¡e liss
does roL deLracL írom Lle music, be
cause iL is usually iraudible vlile
Lle music is acLually ¡layirg. IL’s
Ly¡ically orly roLiceable aL Lle be
girrirg ard erd oí sorgs.
AroLler corsideraLior is cosL. Ar
irdividual reel oí lalíircl La¡e –
sucl as LlaL used by Clarles – cosLs
abouL s:¸o, ard vlile iL car lold u¡
Lo ¸o miruLes oí music, iL vill usual
ly orly be used Lo record ore sorg aL
a Lime, íor orgarizaLioral ¡ur¡oses.
MiruLeíormiruLe, sLorirg digiLal
recordirgs is íar clea¡er.
1lese days, mary arLisLs vill
use a combiraLior oí boLl Lecl
riques. Eacl irsLrumerL vill be
recorded usirg La¡es Lo kee¡ Lle
aralogue sourd, ard Ller corverLed
Lo a digiLal íormaL íor ediLirg ard
masLerirg.
Clarles doesr’L corsider ary
Leclrique su¡erior Lo aroLler.
“Wler iL comes Lo digiLal record
irg or aralogue recordirg, reiLler
|is| beLLer. Tey’re boLl com¡leLely
differerL, I Llirk. IL’s all abouL ¡reí
ererce, ard vlaL you’re goirg íor,
really. IL’s abouL sourd, gerre, ard
vlo’s ¡layirg.”
From A to Zavitz
Exchange students
AKcLL cALLAKDLÞ
For Lle ¡asL íev years, sLuderLs ir
Lle SLudio ArL ¡rograms aL Cuel¡l
ard aL Lle UriversiLy oí WaLerloo
lave ¡arLici¡aLed ir ar arL exclarge.
Morday, Marcl ( sav Lle culmira
Lior oí Llis efforL aL ZaviLz gallery,
as vell as Te ArLery gallery aL Lle
UriversiLy oí WaLerloo.
Like a miri Lravellirg exlibiLior,
Te ArLery curaLes a selecLior oí arL
vork serL by Cuel¡l sLuderLs, ard
likevise, ZaviLz dis¡lays Lle vork
received írom WaLerloo sLuderLs.
WlaL makes Llis irLeresLirg is Lle
o¡¡orLuriLy Lo see Lle vork beirg
¡roduced by sLuderLs aL aroLler
sclool, as vell as lov iL com¡ares
Lo Lle arLvork oí our ovr.
Ore Llirg is íor sure, Cuel¡l car
mosL cerLairly be ¡roud oí Lle vork
serL Lo Te ArLery Llis year. Cleo
Reirirk ard Karmir SmiLl írom Lle
Fire ArLs NeLvork received abouL zo
submissiors írom Cuel¡l sLuderLs,
:¸ oí vlicl vere closer Lo serd íor
dis¡lay, vlile Lley received :z ¡iec
es írom WaLerloo.
Ever Llougl Te ArLery’s gal
lery s¡ace is smaller Llar ZaviLz,
WaLerloo curaLors Holly Bordmar
ard Russra Somal did a greaL job
fiLLirg Lle sizable ¡airLirgs, ¡lo
Logra¡ls, ¡rirLs, scul¡Lures, ard
everyLlirg else Cuel¡l lad Lo offer
irLo Lle gallery.
BoLl galleries losLed ar o¡er
irg or Lle same riglL, buL Llis year
Llere vas a íree o¡¡orLuriLy íor ary
sLuderLs Lo visiL Lle o¡erirg aL Lle
oLler sclool. “Te bus vas some
Llirg rev, Lley ladr’L dore LlaL
beíore,” said Reirirk.
UríorLuraLely, viLl eacl o¡er
irg orly lasLirg írom ¸, ¡.m., Llere
vas orly a small virdov Lo Lake
Lle bus Lo WaLerloo viLl erougl
Lime Lo geL back beíore ZaviLz lad
beer closed.
Also, uríorLuraLely, Lle arLvorks
írom WaLerloo lad beer submiLLed
by yourger sLuderLs viLl esserLially
ro ¡ieces írom u¡¡er year sLuderLs.
By virLue oí Llis íacL, Lle vorks dis
¡layed ir ZaviLz vere smaller ard
mucl less ambiLious Llar Lle vorks
ir Te ArLery, mary oí vlicl vere
írom íourLlyear Cuel¡l sLuderLs
ard Llose ir Lle s¡ecialized sLudio
¡rogram. ZaviLz jusL aLe Llem u¡.
Tere vere some visiLors írom our
WaLerloo reiglbours vlo lad Laker
advarLage oí Lle íree bus. Ir Lrue
Cuel¡l íaslior, Reirirk made sure
Lley lad a ricl ard íull arL ex¡eri
erce vlile Lley vere lere.
“I direcLed a grou¡ oí Lle WaLerloo
sLuderLs Lo Lle JareL MorLor scul¡
Lure ir Lle scul¡Lure ¡ark. Ore oí
Llem lad lad |MorLor| as a Leacl
er aL some ¡oirL, so iL vas rice Lley
vere able Lo see ler ¡iece as vell as
ex¡erierce some more oí Cuel¡l’s
arL scere,” said Reirirk.
All ir all, Lle ZaviLzArLery
exclarge vas a greaL vay Lo bridge
Lle arLisLic sLuderL commuriLies
oí Cuel¡l ard WaLerloo. Ho¡eíully,
Llere vill be mary more exclarges
ard Lle vork vill orly geL beLLer
ard beLLer.
Students from the University of Waterloo had their work on display in Zavitz gallery this week. Guelph
students’ work, meanwhile, was shown in Waterloo.
NADINE MAHER
e 7th Annual Creative Music Symposium took place March 6-8th, presented by the Music Student’s
Association and faculty. e Keynote Guest Scholars were Dr. Susan McClary and Dr. Robert Walser
(Case Western Reserve University). is year’s invited Guest Artist was multi-instrumentalist,
composer, and arranger Glen Hall (above), accompanied by Joe Sorbara, Ken Aldcroft, and Jim Harley.
ANN WESTBERE
CREATI VE MUSIC SYMPOSI UM
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
ARTS  CULTURE 10
Oh, the humanity!
Cards Against
Humanity brings shock
value to card games
DLvcK LAÞDIKc
Selídescribed as a ¡arLy game íor lor
rible ¡eo¡le, Cards AgairsL HumariLy
is Lle íurriesL card game LlaL las yeL
Lo bless our exisLerce. Te game is a
Lake or Lle A¡¡les Lo A¡¡les íormula
vlereir ore ¡layer dravs a black card
vlicl íeaLures a quesLior or a fill ir
Lle blark sLaLemerL. Te oLler ¡lay
ers res¡ord by dravirg a vliLe card
írom Lleir lards, ard vloever gives
Lle besL res¡orse virs. Ir games like
A¡¡les Lo A¡¡les, Lle quesLiorirg card
vould ask ¡layers Lo “Name someLlirg
slar¡” Lo vlicl ¡layers miglL res¡ord
viLl “scissors” or “SLe¡ler Havkirg,”
ard everyore vould cluckle soíLly Lo
Llemselves, íeelirg clever. Ir Cards
AgairsL HumariLy, Lle black card may
ask “Ir Lle rev Disrey Clarrel origi
ral movie Harral MorLara sLruggles
viLl ¸¸¸¸ íor Lle firsL Lime,” Lo vlicl
¡layers may res¡ord viLl “¸o,ooo
volLs sLraiglL Lo Lle ri¡¡les,” “Foor
liíe cloices,” “A Llermoruclear ex
¡losior,” or “My geriLals.”
“My geriLals” vor LlaL rourd.
Ary game LlaL íeaLures ¡lrases like
“Flyirg sex srakes” ard “1esLicular Lor
sior” is bourd Lo be a classic íor boozed
u¡ riglLs or cam¡us. JusL gaLler some
írierds, some beers, ard ¡uL or some
com¡lemerLary music, I recommerd
“CombiraLior Fizza HuL ard 1aco Bell”
by Das RacisL, Lle NaLioral ArLlem
oí Lle USSR, or HeMar’s cover oí
“WlaL’s U¡.” 1erlour versiors oí ary
oí Lle above are ¡racLically required íor
Lle com¡leLe ex¡erierce.
Te game is roL íor Lle easily oí
íerded, buL ¡layers car irclude a burr
box· a discard ¡ile íor Lle cards LlaL
¡eo¡le dor’L varL Lo ¡lay. More oíLer
Llar roL, cards Lerd Lo be íurry or
Lleir ovr raLler Llar íor sleer slock
value. A ¡ersoral íavoriLe remairs
“Here’s Lle clurcl, lere’s Lle sLee¡le,
o¡er Lle doors ard Llere’s all you car
eaL slrim¡ íor (.¤¤!” – a combira
Lior vlicl slouldr’L offerd all buL
Lle mosL u¡LiglL ¡layers.
IL vorks ir LlaL iL brirgs abouL Lle
besL lumour ir vloever ¡lays iL. Fird
a good crovd ard soor irside jokes
vill be s¡rirgirg írom Lle floorboards.
Feo¡le vill be brirgirg u¡ “LlaL Llirg
abouL Lle srake ard Lle corr flakes.” A
seL oí cards ¡roclaimirg LlaL “For my
rexL Lrick I vill ¡ull Largled slirkies
ouL oí grardma” vill lead Lo ¡layers
discussirg scraLclirg ouL Lle cards
viLl “Lle blackesL crayor,” ir order
Lo s¡are Lleir memories. IL’s íreaky,
disgusLirg, ard lilarious íur.
Te besL ¡arL is, iL’s íree.
Cards AgairsL HumariLy car be
dovrloaded ard ¡rirLed íor íree, as
sumirg you’re villirg Lo ¡ick u¡ some
card sLock ard ¡uL abouL ar lour irLo
makirg iL. A sz¸ ¡roíessioral versior
is also available, viLl Lvo ex¡arsiors
cosLirg s:o eacl. A ClrisLmas ex
¡arsior vas also sold orlire, vlere
slo¡¡ers could ¡ay vlaLever Lley
varLed, viLl Lle s,o,ooo ¡rofiL goirg
Lo Lle Wikimedia íourdaLior. Feo¡le
vlo ¡aid roLlirg íor iL vere oí course
called ar asslole ir Lle ¡osLage, ard
Llose vlo ¡aid less Llar fiíLy cerLs
vere Lold Lo “kee¡ Lle clarge you
filLly arimal.”
Te idea came abouL vler Max
1emkir ard ElioL WeirsLeir, alorg
viLl Lleir uriversiLy aged covriLirg
írierds, decided Lley reeded a game
Lo erLerLair ¡eo¡le aL a Nev Year’s
Eve ¡arLy. Te origiral cards vere jusL
¡rirLed írom a Word documerL, roL
rearly Lle qualiLy oí Lle versior Lley
sell Loday. Soor Lle ¡rojecL Lurred irLo
a íree dovrload, ard vler erougl
¡eo¡le asked íor a ¡roíessioral versior
Lle írierds Lurred Lo Lle commur
iLy íurdirg siLe KicksLarLer. WiLl Lle
¡romise LlaL Lle game vould be “as
des¡icable ard avkvard as you ard
your írierds,” Lle game quickly earred
almosL íour Limes iLs s(,ooo goal. Sirce
Ller Lle game las beer dovrloaded
ard ¡urclased Llousards oí Limes,
krovr across cam¡uses as Lle ul
LimaLe uriversiLy game.
1o make Lle game, lead Lo a ¡rirL
slo¡ viLl Lle FDF available írom Lle
Cards AgairsL HumariLy vebsiLe, ard
lave Llem ¡rirL iL or card sLock. Ter
erjoy cuLLirg ouL Lle ¸oo or so cards.
AlLerraLively you car order iL direcLly
írom Lle siLe, vlereir you vill receive
a íev exLra CaradiarLlemed cards as
a borus. Ter crack o¡er a íev beers,
load u¡ some ridiculous music, ard
ask your írierds, “Wly am I sLicky:”
COURTESY
Reverse Shark Attack – Ty Segall and Mikal Cronin
Indie it-boy reissues
early garage-punk
ÞcÞ.K KIcLcLscK
1y Segall las beer a vlirlvird Llis
year. Segall las released a lardíul
oí albums sirce Jaruary alore urder
various differerL ¡seudoryms, kee¡
irg lim jusL erougl urder Lle radar
Lo sur¡rise ursus¡ecLirg lisLerers.
CollaboraLive vork viLl ¡arLrerir
crime Mikal Crorir, affecLioraLely
LiLled Reverse Shark Attack vas iri
Lially released or viryl orly or Lle Kill
Slamar label back ir zoo¤, lorg be
íore Segall vas ex¡eriercirg aryLlirg
rear Lle ly¡e LlaL le is rov.
Hailirg írom Sar Frarcisco, Segall is
a Lireless mulLiirsLrumerLalisL vlo
las gore urder a rumber oí differerL
rames – Fuzz, 1radiLioral Fools, E¡
silors, FarLy Fovl, ard Te FerverLs,
Lo rame a íev (roL Lo merLior beirg
billed occasiorally as sim¡ly 1y Segall
Bard). Barely breakirg Lle quarLer
cerLury mark, Segall las amassed ar
im¡ressive amourL oí vork, roLable
roL orly íor iLs size, buL íor iLs varieLy
ard iLs virLuosiLy as vell.
Reverse Shark Attack is loud,
rovdy ard íuzzy all over. Heavy eí
íecLs ard reverb cover every ircl
oí Lle record, craíLirg ar iríecLious
rom¡ Llrougl surírock ’6os ¡sycle
delia merged viLl Lle auLlerLic ard
urlirged garage¡urk LlaL íorms
Lle rooLs oí Segall’s sigraLure beacly
Cali sourd.
Te LiLle Lrack, “Reverse Slark AL
Lack” is over Ler miruLes lorg. Ir iLs
origiral release, Lle Lrack íormed Lle
erLire Bside oí Lle viryl. Ir com¡ari
sor Lo Lle resL oí Lle album, Lle Lrack
is almosL corservaLive ir iLs Lameress.
A jirglejargle ¡ercussior secLior ac
com¡aries Segall’s laidback varbled
vocals ard sLeady beaclrock guiLar
vork. Billed as Lle album’s cerLer
¡iece, Lle Lrack slovly mor¡ls írom
bourcy surí¡o¡ Lo a vasl oí roise
quickly aíLer Lle fivemiruLe mark,
slarirg orly Lle rorcom¡reler
sibiliLy oí ary sorL oí lyrics, vlicl
everLually Lurr irLo LorLured vails
aryvay.
Abru¡Lly aL Lle sixmiruLe
mark, lovever, Lle sorg sliíLs Lo
a “Misirlou”vorLly surírock ir
sLrumerLal, disLircLly ecloirg LlaL
sliglLly sirisLer, erLirely íurlovirg
sourd LlaL made Dick Dale ard lis
Del1ores uríorgeLLable Lo ar ear
lier gereraLior, ard vlaL made Pulp
Fiction so sorically uríorgeLLable Lo
Lle rexL.
Revirdirg Lo Lle o¡erirg oí Lle
album, “I Wear Black” could very eas
ily be irLer¡reLed as a reíererce Lo Lle
“Mar ir Black” Jolrry Casl, roL ir
musical sLyle buL ir aLLiLude. Te Lrack
is ura¡ologeLically u¡roarious as iL
sLom¡s Llrougl Lle corsciousress,
saLuraLed ir reverb ard oLler sucl
effecLs. A meracirg good Lime, Lle
Lrack ¡rovides ar immediaLe a¡¡eal
Lo Segall ard Crorir’s sourd.
FasL íorvard Llrougl “Dro¡ Dead
Baby,” “Higl Sclool,” ard “Ramora,”
all Lracks vlicl corLirue buildirg
ard sla¡irg Lle jaurLy lofi claLLer,
viLl ircreasirgly more corLrol Llar
Lle o¡erer, ard ve reacl aroLler
liglliglL origiral Lrack “Bikiri Babes.”
FiLLirgly, Lle album ¡rogresses íur
Ller irLo reLro rosLalgia, ard “Bikiri
Babes” – alLlougl clockirg ir aL orly
a miruLe ard LlirLy secords – ¡acks
a miglLy ’6os grurge ¡urcl, all Lle
vlile mairLairirg Segall’s ¡urky vail
ecloirg over Lo¡.
By íar Lle mosL sur¡risirg ard ¡er
la¡s Lle mosL íreely joyous Lrack or
Lle album is ar early Firk Floyd cover.
A íavouriLe cover amorg more rau
cous garagerock bards, “1ake U¡
Ty SLeLlosco¡e ard Walk” is a sLellar
¡iece oí Syd BarreLLera Floyd, vlicl
is disjoirLed, rollickirg, ard clarm
irg all aL orce.
1y Segall ard Mikal Crorir do iL
¡lerLy oí jusLice, remairirg erdlessly
loyal, irsLrumerLally, Lo Lle origiral,
buL givirg Lle vocals a vilder ard
more irsisLerL íeel. CulmiraLirg ir a
¡sycledelic íreakouL, a Lem¡o clarge,
ard a devasLaLirg ¡ourdirg build Lo
Lle firal roLes, Lle Lrack is urderi
ably drivirg ard ¡overíul, riglL urLil
Lle very lasL re¡eaLed lires ¡roclaim
irg “I’m alive!”
All mixed LogeLler, Llese Lracks,
alorg viLl Lle LermiruLe mas
Ler¡iece LiLle Lrack, Reverse Shark
Attack is a com¡lex ¡iece oí garage
rock arLisLry ard yeL iL remairs
com¡leLely accessible Lo Lle aver
age lisLerer, ard marages Lo remair
sim¡ly íur ir iLs delivery. No over
aralysis is required. IL’s ar album LlaL
goes vell viLl a beer or a lorg drive,
ard makes you visl you could surí or
board ií you dor’L already, ard yeL iL
is riclly craíLed ard erdlessly layered
viLl ex¡erL lofi, as corLrary as LlaL
may sourd. Ferla¡s Llis is vlaL las
made 1y Segall sucl a sersaLior – a
geruire masLery oí Lle arL oí garage
rock roise. EfforLlessly ¡aradoxical.
‘Til Your River Runs Dry – Eric Burdon
New album moves
beyond e Animals
\IÞA ÞL1L
Wlile Lle rame Eric Burdor miglL
roL sourd íamiliar Lo some, Burdor’s
voice is oíLer mimicked ir karaoke bars
everyvlere as “Te House oí Lle Ris
irg Sur” ¡lays or. Tis sorg is by íar
Lle besL krovr sorg surg by Burdor,
vlo vas lead sirger oí ’6os BriLisl Ir
vasior bard Te Arimals. Te Arimals
became íamous íor Lleir legerdary
covers oí blues ard rock rumbers ard
Burdor las Laker mucl oí Llese irflu
erces alorg viLl lim vlilsL recordirg
lis laLesL CD ‘Til Your River Runs
Dry. Burdor’s laLesL album, lovev
er, boasLs someLlirg LlaL mary sorgs
Burdor las surg carroL – Lley are
origirals.
Ir lis leyday, Burdor vas a yourg
mar ard lad Lle voice Lo ¡rove iL. AL
age ,: lovever, Llis youLlíul ¡iLcl is
lard Lo come by. Ever so, a íair rum
ber oí Lle Lracks or Burdor’s rev CD
are recorded viLl Llose Lores, vlicl
makes iL all Lle more im¡ressive. MosL
roLable is lis sorg ¡ayirg LribuLe Lo
Lle iríamous rock ard roll ¡ioreer Bo
Diddley. WleLler irLerLioral or roL,
“Bo Diddley S¡ecial” is a suiLable com
¡arior Lo Lle oLler sorgs Burdor las
recorded abouL Bo Diddley ir Lle ¡asL.
Or Lle oLler side oí Lle s¡ecLrum,
some oí Burdor’s sorgs ¡er¡eLuaLe ar
erLirely rev sourd. From íalseLLos ir
“Te Devil ard Jesus” Lo a soulíul clarL
ir “Te River is Risirg,” iL is obvious
Lo Lle lisLerer LlaL Llis CD is ir íacL
a meLlod oí ¡ersoral ex¡ressior íor
Burdor. Tis does a¡¡ear Lo mear a
more sim¡le seL oí lyrics gererally, buL
ore musL ¡ick Lleir baLLles vler iL
comes Lo Lle greaLs. Te Lrack “WaLer”
las beer crediLed by Burdor as beirg
lis ovr ¡ersoral sLard ir Lle ¡romo
Lior oí vaLer corservaLior.
Wlile Te Arimals ard Burdor
limselí are krovr íor a more u¡beaL
blues sLardard, Llis CD kee¡s Llirgs
relaLively lov key. Burdor las come
a lorg vay írom Te Arimals days oí
screamirg lis voice rav ard lavirg
oLlers fird iL musically sLurrirg. A
rev cla¡Ler íor Burdor erLails a soíLer
sourd gererally, buL boasLs origiral
lyrics ard a more ¡ersoral Loucl.
ALBUM REVI EWS
ARTS  CULTURE 11
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
The brew review’s st. paddy’s day special:
SOURCES:
WEB
• brewersassociation.org/pages/business-tools/craft-brewing-statistics/facts
• theindependent.co.uk/life-style/history/did-a-thirst-for-beer-spark-civilization-1869187.html
• statisticbrain.com/beer-industry-statistics/
• brewers.ca
• thebeerstore.ca
PRINT
• How to Brew, John J. Palmer. (This book is an absolute must-have for beer enthusiasts.)
a brief history of beer & brewing
chris müller
Beer is fundamentally water, barley, hops,
and yeast. The brewing process releases fer-
mentable sugars from the barley (and other
cereal grains like wheat, corn, and rice) and
these fermentable sugars interact with the
yeast culture to produce ethanol – the version
of alcohol that can be safely ingested in small
doses. Hops are used for flavouring. Despite the
crude simplicity I’ve painted in this picture of
beer production, that’s essentially all beer is –
the fascinating part is how varied the results are
from nation to nation, town to town, and tap
to tap.
Like most 7,000-year-old things, the details
on beer’s emergence are appropriately wobbly.
Chemical tests on ancient pottery vessels sug-
gest fermentation occurred through cereal
grains exposed to airborne active yeast in what
is now known as Iran. Call it a happy accident
if you will, but a 6,000-year-old Sumerian
tablet depicts several people drinking from a
communal bowl in a festival. The first recorded
recipe of beer can also be traced to the Sume-
rians, with a 3,900-year-old tablet describing
the process of making beer through the barley
found in bread. For beer’s first few thousand
years of existence, it was largely made at home
for domestic use – a far-cry from today’s land-
scape of multi-national brewing corporations.
The next great move for beer was in the eight
century A.D., and beer’s subsequent placement
in the monastic tradition of European monks.
Part of the move of beer into the clergy’s hands
was its use during monastic fasts at various
points in the religious calendar. Unable to con-
sume solid food, monks utilized a high-grain
content to produce a robust and filling style
of beer. The high grain content emerged as a
result of the church’s tax collections through
agricultural products in lieu of a cash economy
in some locales, and the resulting brew helped
monks fast for weeks at a time, consuming only
a high-carbohydrate and grain protein enriched
brew for the duration of the fast. Monks soon
learned to commercialize the style’s emerging
popularity amongst the laypeople and turned
monasteries into the world’s first beer stores.
In Germany, perhaps the most important
beer law in history was passed – the Reinheits-
gebot in 1514. Translated as “the Beer Purity
Law,” the Reinheitsgebot mandated that
beer be produced exclusively from water and
barley. The law was later modified to include
the use of hops in brewing and mandated an
aging session of several weeks before selling to
the German public. Foreigners however, could
still be sold premature beer.
By 1602, beer was packaged in glass bottles
with a cork stopper, not unlike a modern wine
bottle.
The Industrial Revolution that vaulted
Great Britian and continental Europe closer
to modern brewing techniques was the next
great transition phase for beer and brewing.
Industrial technologies led to brewing beer on
a scale not seen before, and society’s thirst was
ever growing. In this period, brewing moved
away from the household and into the factory,
a movement championed by hugely successful
British brewers such as Arthur Guinness, the
founder of the Guinness brewery and brand at
St. James Gate in Dublin, Ireland in 1759.
Near the end of the eighteenth century,
Joseph Bramah invents a hydraulic press that
becomes the basis of draught beer dispensation
systems. Pub-goers the world over felt their
pocketbooks lighten as draught beer produced
a fresher quality beer for use at drinking estab-
lishments. If you’ve seen Tarantino’s Django
Unchained, then you’ve seen this system
in action. The draught beer system doesn’t
receive any major overhauls until carbon diox-
ide (CO2) is added in the early 1900s, and later
developments led to the use of nitrogen gas.
Nitrogen gas creates the creamy and smooth
head of many draught beers produced in the
United Kingdom, and is seeing increased use in
North America as well.
By the turn of the nineteenth century, brew-
ing was a worldwide phenomenon, with the
import and export of particular brands beget-
ting trade systems that lay the foundation for
further trade networks between European
powers. Significant railroad developments
(including an underground transport network
at St. James Gate) were also bolstered by the
beer industries requirements of moving prod-
uct over land and sea. The travel of beer also
required a process of keeping it fresh and safe
from souring, enter Louis Pasteur. In 1857,
Pasteur developed the process of pasteuriza-
tion that killed unwanted microorganisms in
beer in order to keep it drinkable over long
voyages. Pasteur learned through beer and the
yeast processes that occur within it, and later
took his knowledge to other areas of scientific
development.
The first known picture of (in this case) men
drinking beer at a pub is from Scotland in 1844
by Hill & Adamson. Since then, the picture
has been recreated the world over on a nightly
basis, as earth’s pubs and watering holes are full
of people enjoying the beverage that connects
us to thousands of years of human tradition.
“Why we are here: to
tremble at the terrible
beauty of the stars,
to shed a tear at the
perfection of Beethoven’s
symphonies, and to
crack a cold one now
and then.”
– David Letterman
The brew review’s st. paddy’s day special:
the craft-brewing
revolution
It’s always fascinating how history fnds a way to
repeat itself. Just as beer used to be produced on a
smaller scale for a smaller audience, craft brewing
has emerged in North America as one of the fastest
growing industries in consumer products in North
America. Te desire for good craft beer stems from
the theory that large breweries are centrally con-
cerned with proft and not concerns on the taste
of the beer. Recently, AB InBev, the company that
owns Budweiser and Coors Light among other big
name brands, was accused of watering down their
beer in the United States as a means of selling more
product at less production cost. While this accusa-
tion has not yet been settled, the concern remains
prominent to craft beer enthusiasts, who prefer
their beer to come from local breweries that use
higher quality ingredients and no substitutes to
create a better beer. For the non beer-drinker, it’s
the equivalent of going to Te Woolwich Arrow
for dinner instead of McDonalds, a fundamentally
diferent approach to beer than the Natty-Light
“frat lagers” that dominate a beer culture that
values quantity over quality. Because of this, craft
beer values responsible drinking over mass con-
sumption, and craft beer sells without the extensive
advertising campaigns of major corporate brew-
ers that involve minimally-clad women and overt
representations of American masculinity.
In a sense, beer drinkers fgured out that beer
should be about one thing: the beer itself. Make
no mistake, craft brewing is still established as a
money-making enterprise, but people are looking
to spend their beer-dollars on locally sourced and
crafted beers, thereby supporting local economies
and forgoing the multi-national corporations. It’s
this trend that led U.S. beer sales on an overall
downward trend of 1.3 per cent and 1.2 per cent
sales decreases in all beer sold in the United States,
but an increase by 13 per cent in 2011 and 15 per
cent in 2010 in the sale of craft beer.
cool beer facts
Per capita consumption of beer (2010):
1. Czech Republic (132 litres per capita)
2. Germany (107)
3. Austria (106)
4. Ireland (104)
5. Australia (98.08)
23. Canada (68)
Top 5 beer-producing countries (percentage of
world total) 2009-10:
1. China (25.3per cent)
2. United States (13.7per cent)
3. Russia (10.8per cent)
4. Brazil (6.3per cent)
5. Germany (5.9per cent)
As of April 3, 2012, brewing in the United States
produced $196 billion in revenue. Te entire GDP
of Columbia is $196 billion.
Each year, brewers purchase 360,000 tonnes
of Canadian, prairie-grown barley for use in the
brewing industry. In Canada, the brewing indus-
try accounts for 1.2 per cent of the GDP, creates
205,000 direct and indirect jobs, and generates
$4.3 billion in tax revenue. Canada is one of the
top ten beer exporting countries in the world, with
exports totaling 17 per cent of the total Canadian
beer production; a great majority of that 17 per
cent goes to the United States.
According to Te Beer Store, the top ten sell-
ing brands of beer in Canada are as follows: Coors
Light, Canadian, Budweiser, Labbat’s Blue, Bud
Light, Carling, Alexander Keith’s India Pale Ale,
Lakeport Pilsner, Busch, and Heineken. It’s no
coincidence none of these have been featured in
Te Brew Review, it’s all about expanding hori-
zons, fellow enthusiasts.
beer in mythology & theories
of human history
Since beer is a largely agricultural product, cul-
tural traditions have made connections between
beer, the land, and the supernatural.
Te Finnish poem “Kalevala” was written in the
19th century but emerged from the nation’s oral
tradition. “Kaleyala” devotes more lines to the
creation and enjoyment of beer than it does to the
creation of the world.
According to Czech legend, the deity Radegast
(not the wizard from Te Hobbit), the god of good
hospitality, invented beer. Further references
to gods associated with the brewing process are
found in Egyptian mythology, the Sumerian tra-
dition, and even Norse mythology – including a
brew-kettle made by Tor (dibs!).
Beer has roots that extend far back into civi-
lization, and as archaeologist Patrick McGovern
suggests, could be the very reason for the begin-
nings of civilization. In a work of historical
research we can all support, McGovern suggests
that the desire for beer, and the agricultural
products required to produce it, required human
beings to establish agricultural societies, with
good beer as the initial motivation for settling
down.
Whether or not beer exists as the fundamen-
tal reason for settling into civilization, the fact
remains that beer is a fundamental element of
human culture — one that is responsibly shared
between nations, factions, and generations.
ENerf Speculation: U of G Nerf Club Explored
Yellow sponge whips
through the air every
Wednesday night
\IÞA ÞL1L
I made my vay irLo Lle bov
els oí Lle uriversiLy gymrasium,
everLually comirg across Lle
door I’ve beer lookirg íor – Lle
Rarge Room. 1lere vas ro liglL
emiLLirg írom Lle room, yeL I
leard loud screams ard Lle oc
casioral var cry as I erLered.
1vo ílaslliglL beams became
visible, illumiraLirg dozers oí
irLricaLely arrarged cardboard
boxes oí all sla¡es, sizes ard
sLacked leiglL. Someore or my
riglL giggled.
1lis is Lle UriversiLy oí Cuel¡l
Nerí Club aL Lleir mosL sLealLly.
1le Nerí Club las alvays beer
somevlaL oí a mysLery Lo mary
sLuderLs vlo lave leard abouL
iL Llrougl Lle gra¡e vire. IL
is lardly com¡arable Lo oLler
s¡orLs clubs or cam¡us LlaL mosL
are íamiliar viLl, sucl as bas
keLball ard lockey. Hovever,
Nerí Club FresiderL Jessie Dyke
says le gives everyore viLl Llis
merLaliLy Lle same arsver· “JusL
come ouL ard vaLcl vlaL ve do.
MosL ¡eo¡le geL sucked ir.”
1le club meeLs orce a veek
or Wedresday everirgs íor
Lvo solid lours Lo ¡lay dií
íererL sLyle Nerí maLcles. 1le
“arera” is seL u¡ íirsL, uLilizirg
Lle immerse amourL oí urique
ly decoraLed cardboard boxes
Lle club las aL Lleir dis¡os
al, íolloved by Lle makirg oí
Leams de¡erdirg or vlaL game
Lle club is ¡layirg LlaL day. A
¡o¡ular game Ly¡e is “Zombies”
vlere Lle objecLive is survival.
A vall is seL u¡ íor Lle “survi
vors” Lo use as cover ard Lle
“zombies” a¡¡roacl Lle vall.
DiííererL zombies Lake diííer
erL rumbers oí liLs Lo krock
ouL ard ¡oirLs are avarded Lo
survivors ií Lley succeed ir
doirg Llis. Hovever, ií a zom
bie Loucles a survivor, iríecLior
occurs ard LlaL zombie geLs Lle
¡oirLs. 1lis game Ly¡e is ore oí
mary LlaL Lle club erjoys.
1le lisLory oí Lle Nerí Club
is mucl more irLeresLirg Llar
ore miglL Llirk. IriLially called
“1le Nerí Cur Club,” Lle rame
lad Lo be clarged ir accordarce
viLl sclool ¡olicy. Dyke mer
Liored LlaL ary ílyers LlaL go
u¡ ¡romoLirg Lle club carroL
íeaLure ary images oí gurs or
Lleir likeress. Ever emails serL
ouL by Lle club lave Lo irclude
a disclaimer aL Lle boLLom sLaL
irg LlaL Lle Nerí Club does roL
su¡¡orL Lle use oí gurs.
1le UriversiLy oí Cuel¡l las
come a lorg vay sirce Lle ex
isLerce oí boLl a riíle club ard
ar arclery club (lerce Lle exis
Lerce oí 1le Rarge Room ir Lle
íirsL ¡lace). 1lere vas ever a re
cerL ¡usl íor Lle UriversiLy Lo
okay a ¡airL ball club, buL Llis
requesL vas Lurred dovr. Dyke
crediLs Nerí BlasLers as beirg
more aííordable Llar ¡airL ball
gurs aryvay.
“1lirk ¡airLball buL viLl less
¡air,” Dyke said.
He crediLs Lle club as oííer
irg a greaL vay Lo desLress
ard meeL ¡eo¡le. He ercour
ages o¡er commuricaLior viLl
lis club members ard is alvays
lookirg íor rev ideas.
As I leíL Lle Rarge room aíLer
Lle irLerviev, a lore cry oí
“FOR SFAR1A!” could be leard
above Lle ircessarL clickirg
roises oí Nerí BlasLers ir acLior.
1le baLLle vages or.
e enthusiastic on-campus Nerf Club poses for a group picture in the range room, the former home of
the university’s gun and archery clubs in past decades.
MIRA BETH
e Gryphons now boast a
school-decorated coach bus to
transport the many Guelph Gryphon
teams to their road games in the
upcoming year. e bus was unveiled
on March 8 outside the W.F. Mitchell
Athletic Centre.
CHRIS MÜLLER
NEW GRYPH BUS
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
SPORTS  HEALTH 14
From the Bleachers:
We’ve come a long
way: Assessing Major
League through
omas King’s e
Inconvenient Indian
cLÞIs \ïLLLÞ
A¡¡arerLly, Limirg is everyLlirg. So
iL comes viLl a degree oí ur¡redicL
abiliLy LlaL I vould be readirg Tomas
Kirg’s erliglLerirg LexL, e Incon-
venient Indian: A Curious Account
of Native People in North America,
ard Ller íollov iL by vaLclirg a íor
mer íavouriLe oí mire, Major League.
Major League is esserLially Lle sLory
oí a ragLag grou¡ oí baseball ¡layers
LlaL erd u¡ ¡layirg íor Lle Clevelard
Irdiars vlom are ficLiLiously ovred
by a íormer exoLic darcer. IL’s ev
eryLlirg LlaL’s greaL abouL Lle ’Sos·
vliLe s¡orLs jackeL viLl blue jears ard
a Lucked ir LslirL, daLed ¡o¡ culLure
reíererces, a magrificerL sourdLrack,
ard sveeL, sveeL lair. NoL Lo merLior
1om Bererger ard Clarlie Sleer ir all
Lleir glory.
Ter I remember ve’re ir zo:¸,
ard Lle Lruly ¡rogressive Llirkirg oí
Tomas Kirg las made me urdersLard,
Lruly, lov ouLoívack Lle misa¡
¡ro¡riaLior oí raLive NorLl Americar
imagery by cor¡oraLiors las become.
Ir Lle cla¡Ler “1oo Heavy Lo LiíL,”
Kirg ¡oirLs Lo Lle use oí raLive imagery
ir s¡orLs clubs like Lle ALlarLa Braves,
Clicago Blacklavks, WaslirgLor
Redskir, ard yes, Lle Clevelard Ir
diars as irlererLly deLrimerLal ir Lle
relaLiorsli¡ beLveer raLive ard ror
raLive ¡eo¡les. Kirg is reíerercirg Lle
use oí Lle “dead Irdiar,” a versior oí
raLive culLure LlaL oversim¡lifies ard
misre¡reserLs selecLive elemerLs oí
Lle raLive NorLl Americar culLural
LradiLior (vlicl is as varied beLveer
Lribes as Lle culLural memory oí a ra
Lior like Hurgary Lo LlaL oí Erglard).
Tis oversim¡lificaLior oí a robusL ard
vellesLablisled culLure is irlererLly
ar acL oí ideological violerce agairsL
Lle firsL irlabiLarLs oí Llis lardmass.
Wlile mosL oí Lle movie is larmless,
some oí Lle lires íall “jusL a biL ouLside”
moderr ¡ersuasiors oí ¡oliLical cor
recLress, reíererces Lo “Lle Lribe” by
Lle ¡layby¡lay arrourcer, Harry
Doyle (voiced by Bob Uecker), bor
der or offersive. Tere is oí course Lle
vlole ¡roblem viLl Lle caricaLured
“Clieí Waloo” or Lle Leam’s uriíorm,
a desigr elemerL LlaL las beer ¡arL
oí Lle Leam’s iderLiLy LlrouglouL iLs
lisLory.
Mucl like Lle gereral Lurr Lo a criL
ical ¡ers¡ecLive or Lle use oí raLive
imagery ir ¡roíessioral s¡orL, vievirg
Lle film viLl Lle íuLure’s ¡ers¡ecLive
gives Lle ex¡ressiors LlaL liglliglL Lle
Leam’s “Irdiar” associaLior ar offer
sive Lore. IreviLably, Lle movie car sLill
be erjoyed ir iLs ovr riglL, buL mod
err sym¡aLlies beLray Lle igrorarce
LlaL made clea¡ jabs aL raLive culLure
acce¡Lable Lo ¡asL gereraLiors. Clearly,
ve’ve come a lorg vay.
Tarkíully, Lle baseball lumour ir
iLselí remairs iroffersively lilarious,
ever ií iL is “jusL a biL ouLside.”
Men and Women
find podium at CIS
Championships
Track & Field concludes
a dominant university
season
cLÞIs \ïLLLÞ
1le Cry¡lor Lrack ard íield
squad Lravelled Lo Edmor
Lor, AlberLa íor Lle zo:¸ CIS
Clam¡iorsli¡ Marcl ,¤. 1le
Cry¡lors earred ar im¡ressive
overall medal LoLal, medalirg ir
:S everLs over Lle course oí Lle
Llreeday meeL.
HosLed by Lle UriversiLy oí Al
berLa, Lle Cry¡lor mer erLered
Lle Llird day oí com¡eLiLior
Lrailirg Lle Wirdsor Larcers ir
Lle overall sLardirgs viLl orly
íour everLs remairirg. Cold
medals by 1im Herdry ir Lle
sloL ¡uL ard ArLlory Romariv
ir Lle 6oomeLre vere assisL
ed by a silver ard brorze ir Lle
:,¸oomeLre Lo clircl Lle over
all vicLory, everLually deíeaLirg
Wirdsor by zz ¡oirLs. 1le íiral
¡oirL LoLals or Lle mer’s side
vere Cuel¡l viLl ::(, Wirdsor
viLl ¤z, ard WesLerr ard York
Lied aL ¸¤ íor Llird ¡lace. OLLava
rourded ouL Lle Lo¡ íive, eííec
Lively cemerLirg OrLario as Lle
¡remiere ¡rovirce íor Lrack ard
íield. Four oí Lle Lo¡ íive Leams
or Lle vomer’s side oí Lle Lour
ramerL vere also írom OrLario.
Cold medal virrers vere
1im Herdry (sloL ¡uL), Ar
Llory Romariv (6oomeLre),
Lle (xSoomeLre relay Leam
oí 1ommy Lecours, Rob Jack
sor, Yves Sikubvabo, ard
ArLlory Romariv, ard SLeve
Holmes (:,ooomeLre). Silver
medals vere aclieved by Ro
mariv (:,ooomeLre), Jorg Alre
(lorg jum¡), ard Yves Sikubvabo
(:,¸oomeLre). 1le mer rourded
oíí Lle ¡odium by collecLirg Lvo
brorze medals írom Lle eííorLs oí
Ross FroudíooL ir Lle :¸oo ard
¸ooomeLre everLs ard ore írom
Herdry ir Lle veiglL Llrov.
1le vomer’s divisior oí Lle
Leam íirisled Llird overall be
lird Calgary (::¸) ard 1ororLo
(:::.¸), LoLalirg S¸.z¸ ¡oirLs
over Lle course oí Lle meeL.
1le lore Cry¡lor gold medal
or Lle vomer’s side car be aL
LribuLed Lo Ardrea Seccaíier ir
Lle ¸,ooomeLre. Silvermedal
¡eríormarces vere lad by Julia
Wallace (lorg jum¡, Lri¡le jum¡),
Carise 1lom¡sor (¸,ooomeLre),
ard Seccaíier (:,¸oomeLre).
1lom¡sor added a brorze Lo ler
collecLior íor ler eííorLs ir Lle
:,¸oomeLre, ard Raclel Aubry
¡rocured ar irdividual brorze
ir Lle 6oomeLre beíore Leamirg
viLl Seccaíier, Lydia FrosL, ard
Aubry íor Lle (xSoomeLre relay.
Dave ScoLL1lomas, Lle mas
Lermird belird Lle Cry¡lor
Lrack ard íield ¡rogram, vas
orce agair ramed Lle CIS coacl
oí Lle year or Lle mer’s side oí
Lle LourramerL. Romariv ard
Seccaíier vere ramed Lle Cry
¡lor aLlleLes oí Lle veek, ard
Lle OUA ramed Romariv Lle
Fioreer Erergy ALlleLe oí Lle
Week.
Ard so corcludes a domi
rarL uriversiLy seasor íor Lle
mer ard vomer oí Lle Cry¡lor
Lrack ard íield Leam. Here’s Lo
mary more years oí aLlleLic
excellerce.
Despite its place as a canonical sports film, Major League takes on a
new perspective after reading omas King.
COURTESY
SPORTS  HEALTH 15
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
New concussion guidelines for young students
Guidelines developed
by McMaster University
cLÞIs \ïLLLÞ
Nev researcl ouL oí McMasLer
UriversiLy suggesLs Lle guidelires
¡rovided íor adulLs vler reLurrirg
Lo acLiviLy íollovirg a corcussior
are irsuffi cierL vler used Lovards
a clild’s recovery írom Lle same
cordiLior. Te efforLs oí a combired
researcl sLudy írom CarClild ard
McMasLer Clildrer’s los¡iLal re
sulLed ir Lle release oí some rev
guidelires íor yourg ¡eo¡le affecL
ed by corcussiors.
IderLiíyirg corcussiors as dar
gerous irjuries Lo Lle brair is oí greaL
im¡orLarce Lo Lle researcl, as Lle
sym¡Loms are lisLed ir Lle iríor
maLioral ¡am¡lleLs. Corcussiors,
also krovr as mild LraumaLic brair
irjuries, car be caused by a direcL
or irdirecL liL, blov, or íorce Lo Lle
lead or body. Sym¡Loms oí a cor
cussior (boLl ir adulLs ard clildrer)
are slee¡ disLurbarces or drovsiress,
leadacle, rausea ard vomiLirg, ¡oor
balarce, dizziress, visior ¡roblems,
sersiLiviLy Lo liglL, merLal íoggiress,
ard a diffi culLy ir corcerLraLirg.
Irregular irriLabiliLy, sadress, ard
rervousress are also lisLed.
Te ¡ress release írom CarClild
¡oirLs Lo Lle reed íor Lailored LreaL
merL oí corcussiors íor clildrer, as
clildrer íace a greaLer risk íor addi
Lioral irjury ard sym¡Loms ií Lley
reLurr írom Lle irjury Loo soor.
Available Llrougl Lle CarClild veb
siLe, some irLeresLirg suggesLiors
emerge as Lo Lle effecLive LreaLmerL
íor a clild Lo reLurr Lo boLl sclool
ard ¡lysical acLiviLies.
Ir ¡ursuiL oí a reLurr Lo sclool, Lle
guidelires íollov a fivesLe¡ ¡rogram
viLl a loose Limeírame. SLage ore is
corsidered “Brair ResL,” vlere Lle
clild remairs lome írom sclool íor
aL leasL ore veek, is roL Lo be ex¡osed
Lo Lelevisior, video games, LexLirg,
or readirg. Tis sLage slould lasL ro
lorger Llar Lvo veeks. SLage Lvo
begirs Lle slov ¡rocess reLurrirg Lo
valkirg, :¸ miruLes oí screer Lime
Lvice a day, ard a gradual readirg
scledule. Tis sLage lasLs a maximum
oí Lvo veeks. SLage Llree, vlicl car
lasL aryvlere írom a íev days Lo sev
eral morLls, recommerds aLLerdirg
less sLressíul classes, ro LesLs, a max
imum oí (¸ miruLes oí lomevork,
ard Lle avoidarce oí Lle caíeLeria ard
carryirg leavy books. LimiLs are also
im¡osed or screer Lime ard Lakirg
Lle bus. Orly vler Lle sym¡Loms
oí a corcussior lave ¡assed car Lle
yourg sLuderL advarce Lo Lle rexL
sLage. SLage íour serves as Lle irLerim
¡eriod beíore a íull recovery aL sLage
five, vlere orly ore LesL ¡er veek
is alloved ard Lle o¡Lior Lo reLurr
Lo a fiveday class scledule lies or
Lle sloulders oí Lle sLuderL’s íamily.
SLarL Lo firisl, Lle ¡rogram looks
like iL could easily s¡ar over Lvo
morLls, ard LlaL’s orly íor a reLurr
Lo academic ¡ursuiLs, roL aLlleL
ic. A reLurr Lo aLlleLic erdeavors
could be ¡rolorged by addiLioral
veeks oí recovery ard docLor visiLs
Lo ersure Lle ¡aLierL is :oo ¡er cerL
sym¡Lom íree.
Wlile some oí Llese measures
may seem exLreme, a clild’s brair
is urdergoirg ra¡id sLages oí de
velo¡merL LlaL a corcussior, ií
urLreaLed, car cause serious larm
Lo. Tese recommerdaLiors err or
Lle side oí cauLior, believirg LlaL
Lle clild’s lorgLerm lealLl su¡er
sedes Lle desire Lo reLurr Lo rormal
aíLer Lle irjury.
New concussion guidelines for children have been identified by
researchers from McMaster and CanChild.
DEREJE BELACHEW
Canadians outdrink other nations
New study serves up a
tall, cold glass of truth
cAÞÞ. cc
A recerL sLudy dore by Lle CerLre
íor AddicLior ard MerLal HealLl
claims LlaL Caradiars drirk a loL
more Llar oLler raLiors oí Lle
vorld – ard ve’re roL Lalkirg
abouL a¡¡le juice.
Or average Caradiars drirk
¤.S liLres oí ¡ure alcolol ¡er ¡er
sor arrually. Or Lle lisL, Carada
exceeded courLries sucl as Mex
ico, Brazil, ard ever Lle UriLed
SLaLes, a courLry vlose ¡o¡ula
Lior is sigrificarLly larger Llar LlaL
oí Carada’s.
“IL’s sur¡risirg, I guess,” said
¡syclology sLuderL Jasor
MorgersLerr. “You vould as
sume ¡eo¡le ir Lle SLaLes drirk
more based or lov |Lle| media
¡orLrays Lle SLaLes. IL’s roL really
slovr lere.”
Ore oí Lle mair reasors as Lo
vly Caradiars’ alcolol corsum¡
Lior raLe is so large is LlaL Llere is
orly a small ¡o¡ulaLior oí Caradi
ars LlaL dor’L drirk alcolol. IL las
beer re¡orLed LlaL very íev Cara
diars corsume alcolol viLl meals
ard LlaL birge drirkirg las beer
íourd Lo be a ¡roblem ir Carada.
“I car see Lle logisLics ir Cara
diars corsumirg more alcolol
Llar aryore else ir Lle vorld,”
said Felix Aleobua, a Llird year
microbiology sLuderL. “Caradi
ars really celebraLe lockey as Lleir
raLioral s¡orL, so drirkirg is sorL
oí Lied LogeLler viLl LlaL. Ií every
ore is belird a s¡orL, vaLcles Lle
s¡orL or a írequerL basis, goes Lo
Lle games, buys Lle merclardise
ard vlaL roL I car see lov drirk
irg car ¡lay a ¡arL ir all LlaL ard
add Lo Lle vlole vibe oí iL.”
Accordirg Lo Lle sLudy, Cara
diars corsume ¸o ¡er cerL more
¡ure alcolol Llar vlaL Lle erLire
vorld does or average, as globally
Lle average is 6.: liLres ¡er ¡ersor.
“I fird LlaL a biL excessive,“ said
MacKerzie Brovr a íourLl year A¡
¡lied NuLriLior major aL Cuel¡l. “I
Llirk a loL oí iL las Lo do viLl Lle al
colol lavs. IL is a loL more resLricLed
lere so maybe LlaL ircreases ¡eo
¡le’s desire íor iL. I also Llirk iL’s
Lerrible LlaL Llere is roL a loL oí
krovledge or avareress arourd
abouL over drirkirg. Cuidelires íor
s¡acirg ouL Lle vay LlaL you drirk,
raLler Llar birge drirkirg all aL
orce, vould be bereficial because
sLudies slov LlaL lavirg a drirk
everyday is acLually bereficial Lo
your lealLl versus lavirg Lvelve
ir a riglL vlicl is deLrimerLal.”
Fo¡ulaLiors ir NorLl Aírica,
SouLl Asia, ard Middle EasL vere
re¡orLed Lo lave corsumed Lle
leasL amourL oí alcolol viLl Lle
UriLed Kirgdom, Cermary, ard
Lle Russiar FederaLior drirkirg
u¡vards oí :( liLres oí alcolol ¡er
¡ersor.
Canadians drink more than Mexico, Brazil, and the United States on
a per-person basis. Fear not, we’re not even close to the levels of
the United Kingdom, Germany, and Russia.
CHRIS WATTIE / REUTERS
“While some of
these measures
may seem
extreme, a child’s
brain is undergoing
rapid stages of
development that
a concussion, if
untreated, can
cause serious
harm to.”
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
SPORTS  HEALTH 16
Gryphon curling set for Kamloops
e Gryphons will
compete in the 2013
Canadian University
Curling Championship
cLÞIs \ïLLLÞ
Te vomer oí Lle Cry¡lor curlirg
Leam vill Lravel Lo Kamloo¡s, BriL
isl Columbia íor Lle zo:¸ Caradiar
UriversiLy Curlirg Clam¡iorsli¡s.
Te clam¡iorsli¡ vill occur or
Marcl zoz( aL Lle Kamloo¡s
Curlirg Club. Te Cry¡lors vill
íace a collecLior oí Leams írom
across Lle courLry, ircludirg Lle
Tom¡sor Rivers Wolí¡ack (BC),
Lle SairL Mary’s Huskies (NS), Te
UFEI FarLlers (FEI), Lle Uriversi
Ly oí AlberLa Fardas, Lle MariLoba
Bisor. Fellov OrLariars írom
McMasLer ard WesLerr are also
Lravellirg Lo Lle LourramerL.
Te small Leam oí five is com
¡osed oí UriversiLy oí Cuel¡l
sLuderLs Jaimee Cardrer, KaLe
lyr Wasylkiv, HeaLler Cridlard,
Erir Jerkirs, ard Emilie MeLcalíe.
Te Leam is coacled by Jasor Rice.
IL vas ro easy Lask íor Lle Leam
ir gereraLirg Lle required íurds
íor a Lri¡ across Lle courLry, buL
Lle Leam vas able Lo ¡ull ir jusL
erougl Lo make Lle Lri¡ ouL vesL.
“Because ve’re a selííurded
Leam, ve lave Lo rur all oí our
ovr íurdraisirg, ard |ir LlaL re
s¡ecL| Lle Cuel¡l Curlirg Club las
beer really su¡¡orLive,” ex¡laired
KaLelyr Wasylkiv. Te Leam las
uLilized ³°⁄.» dravs ard raffl es
aL Lle Cuel¡l Curlirg Club, ard
Lle Ado¡LaCry¡lor ¡rogram
Llrougl Lle aLlleLic de¡arLmerL
las lel¡ed ir Lleir efforLs. A sig
rificarL doraLior írom Lle Egg
Farmers oí OrLario lel¡ed give
Lle Cry¡lors Lle required íurds,
ard all LlaL’s leíL Lo do is ¡re¡are.
Beíore Lle Leam leaves íor
Lle coasL, Lley’ll ¡lay ar exli
biLior maLcl agairsL Lle mer’s
Leam írom WaLerloo, vlo is also
Lravellirg Lo Kamloo¡s íor Lle
clam¡iorsli¡s.
Te Cry¡lors are ro sLrarg
ers Lo Lle raLioral s¡oLliglL, as
LeammaLes Cridlard ard Wasyl
kiv com¡eLed as members oí
Leam OrLario aL Lle jurior ra
Lioral clam¡iorsli¡s earlier Llis
year. Ir Lle LourramerL, Leam
OrLario losL ir Lle semifiral, buL
¡osLed a :z( overall record ir
LourramerL ¡lay. TaL ex¡erierce
slould ¡rove useíul ir dealirg
viLl Lle ¡ressures oí a fiveday
LourramerL LlaL vill LesL boLl
Lle ¡lysical ard merLal erdur
arce oí Lle Leam.
FarL oí Lle exciLemerL oí Lle
LourramerL is Lle ex¡ardirg
media coverage oí Lle s¡orL as a
vlole, ard Lle recerL successes
oí yourg curlers aL major Lour
ramerLs is casLirg Lle media’s
aLLerLior Lo Lle yourger ¡lay
ers, a move LlaL car orly berefiL
Lle ¡o¡ulariLy oí curlirg amorgsL
Llose vlo laver’L beer ex¡osed
Lo Lle s¡orL. As Cardrer ¡oirLs
ouL, curlirg is ¡oised Lo Lake off
ir ¡o¡ulariLy.
“You’re seeirg a rev vave oí
curlirg comirg ir, ¡eo¡le LlaL
are really dedicaLirg Llemselves
Lo iL,” said Cardrer.
Cardrer ard Lle resL oí Lle Cry
¡lor squad ciLe Lle ircreased
media ex¡osure ard Lle s¡orL’s
recerL LrarsiLior irLo ar ircreased
íocus or fiLress as corLribuLirg
íacLors Lo Lle grovLl oí Lle s¡orL.
Curlirg is urique ir LlaL Llere are
very íev ¡roíessioral curlers, ard
des¡iLe Lle ircreasirg ¡rofile oí
Lle s¡orL, ever eliLe curlers are
íorced Lo balarce Lleir ¡ursuiL
oí irLerraLioral com¡eLiLior
vlile sLill vorkirg regular lours
ir order Lo su¡¡orL Llemselves
firarcially.
Des¡iLe Lle currerL limiLaLiors
oí curlirg as a ¡roíessioral er
deavour, Lle Leam is deLermired
Lo ¡uL or a sLrorg slovirg aL Lle
uriversiLy clam¡iorsli¡. 1le
Cry¡lors lave earred secord
ard Llird¡lace firisles ir re
cerL everLs, buL are sLill lookirg
Lo sLrike ar elusive gold medal
írom Lle com¡eLiLior.
Ferla¡s Lle clarge oí scerery
is all iL vill Lake, ard vlere beL
Ler Llar BriLisl Columbia:
e women’s curling team will travel to Kamloops, British Columbia
for the 2013 University Curling Championships.
COURTESY
SPORTS  HEALTH 17
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
How to survivc St. Patty’s Day
\IÞA ÞL1L
1lere is someLlirg abouL SL.
FaLrick’s Day LlaL sLrikes a
clord íor all oí legal drirkirg
age. Some see iL as a clarce
Lo be excessively irLoxicaLed
all day ard socially acce¡Led
aL Lle same Lime. Some erjoy
geLLirg LogeLler viLl írierds
ard lisLerirg Lo good music
over a ¡irL. Regardless oí your
reasors íor lovirg SL. FaLrick’s
Day, lere are some key Li¡s ard
Lricks Lo geL you Llrougl your
day viLlouL Lurrirg Loo greer
yourselí.
¡) Wcar grccn. Ferla¡s Lle mosL
obvious Li¡ or Llis lisL, vear
irg greer is ar esserLial íor
aryore celebraLirg Lle day or
roL. OLlervise, be ¡re¡ared
Lo be erLlusiasLically ¡ircled
by every drurk ¡ersor you
ercourLer.
z) Makc a plan. Wlile mary
¡reíer Lo jusL leL Lle day go as
iL may, iL is a good idea Lo lave
a rougl idea oí vlo you vould
like Lo s¡erd your Lime viLl
ard vlere you vould like Lo be.
Beirg Lle ore LlaL’s sLumblirg
arourd dovrLovr ir searcl oí
losL írierds is íurry Lo every
ore buL you.
_) Fat up. Sirce SL. FaLrick’s
Day is ar all day everL, iL is a
good idea Lo lave a rice learLy
breakíasL viLl your íirsL beer.
Kee¡irg your sLomacl íull oí
íood as vell as beer lel¡s you
Lo kee¡ u¡ your sLamira. EaLirg
LlrouglouL Lle day also lel¡s
íor Llis reasor.
() Drink up. NoL jusL beer, buL
vaLer as vell. Urless you are
ore oí Llose exLremely lucky
¡eo¡le vlo dor’L ever geL lurg
over, you’re goirg Lo lave Lo
Lake some ¡recauLiors. Drirk
irg vaLer LlrouglouL Lle day
vill lel¡ ¡reverL Lle dreaded
morrirg aíLer morsLer, buL ií
all else íails, erjoy a rice greasy
breakíasL, some elecLrolyLe
íilled s¡orLs drirks, ard ¡ray
íor a saíe recovery.
_) Avoid driving. We’re all ma
Lure ard irLelligerL irdividuals
vlo vould rever drirk ard
drive, buL Lle same carroL be
said íor everyore or Lle road. Ií
aL all ¡ossible, Lake ¡ublic Lrar
siL or a cab írom ore ¡lace Lo
aroLler. 1laL, or lave yourselí
a rice liLLle valk. Ir ary case,
be vary oí cars vlilsL geLLirg
arourd LlrouglouL Lle day ard
ií you do s¡oL someore vlo las
obviously beer drirkirg ard
drivirg, call ¡olice. Some be
lieve LlaL SL. FaLrick’s day is a
geL ouL oí jail íree card vler
iL comes Lo drirkirg ard driv
irg, buL iL is doubLíul LlaL
Llose vlo lave losL íamily ard
írierds Lo drurk drivers vould
íeel Lle same.
6) Find a dcsignatcd drivcr.
Ever ií you dor’L irLerd Lo be
goirg aryvlere LlaL day, íird
someore you krov vlo isr’L
drirkirg as a saíeLy ¡recau
Lior. 1lis vay, ií someLlirg
does come u¡ ard you are ir
dire reed oí Lrars¡orLaLior,
you lave iL.
)) Havc a final dcstination. Re
gardless oí ií iL is your ovr bed
or a írierd’s coucl, iL is alvays
a good idea Lo lave some idea
as Lo vlere you varL Lo erd u¡
aíLer all is said ard drark. As
a side roLe, make sure you are
alvays carryirg someLlirg or
you viLl your address ir case
oLlers reed Lo geL you lome
saíe.
8) Stock up carly. Leavirg
Llirgs urLil Lle lasL miruLe
miglL be exciLirg ir lockey, buL
roL or SL. FaLrick’s Day. IL íalls
or a Surday Llis year, vlicl
mears ever slorLer lours oí
o¡eraLior Llar usual íor liquor
sLores. IL is mucl saíer Lo Lake a
Lri¡ or 1lursday or Friday ard
buy vlaL you varL Llar rusl
over or Lle Surday grabbirg
aL vlaLever is leíL vler Lle
smoke clears.
¢) Know your limits. 1lis a¡
¡lies boLl ir Lle íirarcial ard
alcololic serse. 1ake ouL Lle
morey you varL Lo s¡erd LlaL
day alead oí Lime ard LrusL
your crediL card Lo a írierd. You
may regreL Llis decisior vlilsL
ir Lle bar LlaL day, buL Lle re
lieí you vill íeel u¡or cleckirg
your bark accourL Lle rexL day
vill make u¡ íor iL.
¡o) Don’t bc that pcrson. Or a
rormal veekerd, Llere is LlaL
ore really irLoxicaLed ¡ersor
LlaL alvays seems Lo ¡o¡ u¡
regardless oí Lle bar ore is aL.
Or SL. FaLrick’s day, mosL ¡eo
¡le are blissíully aL Llis level
oí irLoxicaLior. 1le Lrouble
sLarLs vler ore sLarLs beirg
disres¡ecLíul. IL is ore Llirg
Lo lave a good Lime, iL is ar
oLler Lo ruir someore else’s
Lime ir Lle ¡rocess.
Regardless oí vlaL SL. FaL
ri ck’s Day mears Lo you,
everyore is ouL Lo lave íur.
Crab a ¡irL, grab a írierd, ard
above all else, Lake care.
Skye is an 8-month old purebred
Border Collie who lives next door. He
bolts towards everyone he meets,
including baby carriages and other
dogs, much to his owner Judy’s
chagrin. He loves to play soccer,
walk to the park, and hang over the
fence barking until the neighbours
come out to see him.
ANDREA CONNELL
PFT OF THF WFFK
With St. Patrick’s Day fast approaching, take the time to plan out your evening so that your face
doesn’t match your shamrock sweater the next morning.
VANESSA TIGNANELLI
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
LlFF I8
is Week
in History
Impeachment; e President Sum-
moned to Appear at the Bar of the
Senate
Te successor Lo Abralam Lircolr,
Ardrev Jolrsor, is described or
Lle WliLe House’s lisLorical siLe or
Americar ¡residerLs as “Lle mosL
uríorLuraLe” oí Lle U.S. leaders. Te
Radical Re¡ublicars ir Corgress quick
ly garged u¡ agairsL Lle re¡reserLaLive
oí Lle “commor mar,” urla¡¡y viLl
lis ¡rogram Lo recorsLrucL Lle souLl
ir ¡osLCivil War America. Te Re
¡ublicars ever ¡assed legislaLior or
reíusirg Lo seaL ary seraLor or re¡
reserLaLive írom Lle old Coríederacy
over Jolrsor’s veLo, markirg Lle firsL
Lime LlaL Llis lad la¡¡ered ir Lle U.S.
goverrmerL. Hovever, some good
came ouL oí Lle ¡over sLruggle be
Lveer Jolrsor ard Lle radicals. Te
grou¡ erded u¡ also ¡assirg Lle Civil
RiglLs AcL oí :S66, “vlicl esLablisled
Negroes as Americar ciLizers ard íor
bade discrimiraLior agairsL Llem.”
(e New York Times – Marcl :¸, :S6S)
Pop industry is given  months to
comply with refillable rulings
Lorg beíore Lle CSA vas cam¡aigr
irg agairsL ¡lasLic vaLer boLLles or
cam¡us, ErvirormerL MirisLer Wil
liam Nevmar sLerrly Lold OrLario’s
soíL drirk irdusLry Lo “sLarL usirg
more refillable ¡o¡ corLairers or íace
legislaLior.” Te sLaLemerL vas a cor
LiruaLior oí discussiors LlaL begar ir
:¤,o or Lle ervirormerLal im¡acLs
oí Llrovavay ¡o¡ cars ard boLLles.
Nevmar aimed Lo reverse Lle Lrerd
oí ¡urclasirg Llrovavays, ¡arLicu
larly ir Lle MeLro 1ororLo area vlere
Lle ervirormerLally urírierdly boLLles
ard ¡o¡ cars made u¡ So ¡er cerL oí
Lle markeL. Nevmar also added LlaL
corsumers vould sim¡ly be giver Lle
o¡Lior oí buyirg refillable corLair
ers as iL vas agairsL Lleir democraLic
riglLs Lo bar Lle Llrovavays com
¡leLely. ErvirormerLal grou¡s lobbied
alorgside Nevmar’s cam¡aigr Lo ir
Lroduce refillable corLairers by seLLirg
u¡ demorsLraLiors ard iríormaLior
booLls arourd Lle ciLy. (e Globe and
Mail – Marcl :(, :¤,¸)
Anti-Vietnam demo turns violent
America vasr’L Lle orly ¡lace oí major
arLivar ¡roLesLirg durirg Lle laLe
:¤6os. Or Llis day ir :¤6S, :o,ooo
¡eo¡le demorsLraLed ouLside oí Lle
UriLed SLaLes embassy ir Lordor
íollovirg a rally ir 1raíalgar Square.
Wlile Lle aLmos¡lere aL Lle rally vas
described as calm, ¡roLesLors goL ir
creasirgly vorked u¡ as Lley marcled
Lo Crosveror Square, vlere Lle em
bassy is locaLed. As is Ly¡ical viLl
argry ¡roLesLs, lurdreds oí ¡eo¡le
vere arresLed, ard some did roL leave
urscaLled. EiglLysix ¡eo¡le vere
LreaLed íor irjuries ard ¸o vere Laker
Lo los¡iLal, lalí oí vlicl vere ¡olice
offi cers. (e BBC – Marcl :,, :¤6S)
Compiled by Alicja Grzadkowska
e multiplier benefit of salary negotiation
vA.KL cÞLLKvA.
Nearly every career ex¡erL vill
Lell you LlaL krovirg vlo you
are ard vlaL you reed, as vell
as corducLirg diligerL researcl
or your LargeL career o¡¡orLuri
Ly, are íacLors vlicl aííecL every
sLage oí your career job searcl.
Novlere are Llese íurcLiors
more im¡orLarL Llar ir regoLi
aLirg your job oííer.
Beíore ve discuss Llese íac
Lors ir more deLail, you may be
vorderirg abouL Lle recessiLy oí
regoLiaLirg. IL is deíiriLely vise
Lo evaluaLe ard regoLiaLe every
oííer ever ií Llere seems Lo be
very liLLle “viggle room.” IL is
roL jusL abouL Lle morey, iL is
lov you are ¡erceived by your
rev em¡loyer.
1le vay cardidaLes lardle
Llis sLage oí Lle ¡rocess oíLer
reílecLs lov Lley vill íurcLior
ir Lle job. You do roL varL Lo
a¡¡ear like a “vallílover” or a
“door maL.” MosL em¡loyers come
Lo íiralizirg Lle corLracL viLl
some room íor regoLiaLior. You
varL Lo come across as sLardirg
u¡ íor vlaL you value (ircludirg
yourselí) ir a ¡roíessioral ard
di¡lomaLic vay. Ií you lave beer
ouL oí vork íor several morLls,
you may be very graLeíul Lo be
lired irLo a good career job. AL
Lle same Lime, ro ore is goirg Lo
clarge Lleir mird abouL lirirg
you because you made a reasored
eííorL Lo regoLiaLe a beLLer oííer.
Ir íacL Lley vill likely res¡ecL iL.
Wlile Llere is more Lo Llirk
abouL Llar salary, iL is im¡orLarL
Lo remember LlaL every meriL
ard cosL oí livirg ircrease is usu
ally a ¡ercerLage oí vlaL you are
currerLly earrirg. 1lis mears
LlaL vlaL you gair ir regoLiaL
irg your iriLial salary resulLs ir
a mulLi¡lier eííecL or all íuLure
ircreases. Ever a small ircrease
car be Llousards oí dollars over
several years oí em¡loymerL.
Orce you decide Lo regoLiaLe,
you may vorder lov krovirg
abouL yourselí ard Lle ¡osiLior
car make a diííererce. Ií you
krov vlaL you reed, iL gives you
a sLrorg ¡laLíorm Lo evaluaLe Lle
oííer ard regoLiaLe eííecLively.
From a íirarcial ¡oirL oí viev,
iL mears lavirg a very clear ¡ic
Lure oí your currerL íirarcial
siLuaLior ard vlaL you lo¡e Lo
creaLe íor yourselí ir Lle íuLure.
1lis mears creaLirg a ¡ersoral
budgeL íor vler you are ir your
rev ¡osiLior. 1lis ircludes Lle
major ex¡erses sucl as sLuderL
loar ¡aymerLs ard oLler debLs,
commuricaLiors, lousirg, leaL,
lydro, íood, clild care ard oLler
liíesLyle reeds. IL is ¡arLicular
ly im¡orLarL Lo krov vlaL your
budgeL is íor lealLlcare reeds,
medicaLiors, ard derLal care. IL
is also im¡orLarL Lo krov lov
íar you are villirg Lo commuLe
Lo vork ard lov mucl iL vill
cosL. Ií a move vill be ¡arL oí Lle
¡rocess, calculaLe iLs associaLed
ex¡erses.
Wlile reLiremerL may seem a
lorg vay oíí, you vould be vise
Lo Lake aL leasL :¸ ¡er cerL oí eacl
¡aycleque ir addiLior Lo vlaL
ever your em¡loyer corLribuLes.
1lis slould be ar im¡orLarL ¡arL
oí your budgeL.
Orce you urdersLard your es
LimaLed ouLgoirg ex¡erses, you
Ller krov Lle lovesL amourL
oí morey you car ¡ossibly ac
ce¡L ir ar oííer viLlouL givirg
u¡ someLlirg.
Ir addiLior Lo urdersLard
irg your íirarcial siLuaLior, you
reed Lo krov Lle íacLors LlaL vill
make you successíul ir a job. 1lis
mears urdersLardirg Lle kird
oí vork ervirormerL vlere you
vill Llrive ard ií you vork beL
Ler as ¡arL oí a Leam or or your
ovr. 1le same kird oí Llirkirg
car a¡¡ly Lo Lle kird oí marage
merL sLyle you reed, Lle Ly¡e oí
vorks¡ace vlere you are mosL
¡roducLive, ard Lle values you
are lookirg íor or car’L acce¡L
ir ar em¡loyer.
As vork ard lome liíe are be
comirg less disLirguislable, be
sure Lo corsider Lle cosLs ard
bereíiLs oí beirg able Lo vork
írom lome, as vell as ílex Lime
corsideraLiors.
OLler íacLors irclude desired
vacaLior alloLmerL ard krovirg
your ¡roíessioral develo¡merL
irLeresLs íor your career goals.
UrdersLardirg your reeds ard
lo¡es gives you a vay Lo measure
vlaL Lle em¡loyer las Lo oííer.
NexL Llere is Lle researcl you
reed Lo do or Lle career o¡¡or
LuriLy. Ir order Lo make your
argumerL íor a beLLer oííer you
musL krov vlaL oLlers ir simi
lar ¡osiLiors are earrirg.
Ií your íield researcl ircluded
askirg abouL salary rarges, vler
you corducLed your iríormaLior
al irLervievs, you vill already
lave Llis iríormaLior. OLlervise,
you car corducL veb researcl,
Lalk Lo your íield researcl cor
recLiors, or visiL your uriversiLy
career cerLre Lo geL some lel¡.
You car also s¡eak viLl some
ore doirg a similar job aL aroLler
com¡ary. 1lis irvolves ex¡lair
irg your siLuaLior, irquirirg
abouL Lleir job, ard Ller seekirg
Lleir advice or salary regoLiaLior.
Nov you krov vlaL you are
lo¡irg íor ir Lerms oí bereíiL ard
salary ard you krov vlaL oLl
ers are makirg ir íield. You car
rov creaLe Lle salary rarge LlaL
you Llirk is reasorable ard you
slould krov vlere you vould
¡lace yourselí ir LlaL rarge. You
car rov develo¡ your argumerLs
ard you are ready Lo regoLiaLe,
buL as 1ara Weiss ¡oirLs ouL ir
a recerL Forbes blog, Llere is ar
exce¡Lior vler Lle ¡osiLior las
so mucl Lo oííer LlaL iL slould roL
be reíused ever ií your aralysis
irdicaLes oLlervise.
“1laL’s Lrue íor ¡rograms LlaL
vill Leacl you urique skills or
em¡loyers LlaL lave exem¡lary
records, vler iL comes Lo ¡roíes
sioral develo¡merL ard vorkliíe
balarce. Some jobs ard em¡loy
ers are so ¡resLigious LlaL lavirg
iL or your resume vill lel¡ you
geL oLler, more lucraLive oííers,”
said Weiss.
1le rexL sLe¡ is Lle regoLia
Lior iLselí. MosL oí Lle Lime mary
Llirgs are roL regoLiable, so Lle
Lask is roL as com¡licaLed as iL
seems. Ir Llese cases, your mosL
im¡orLarL Lask is Lo lisLer ard
ask quesLiors.
Orce Lley lave decided LlaL
Lley varL Lo lire you, Lake Lle
Lime Lo urdersLard vlaL Lley
are oííerirg. You do roL lave Lo
decide riglL avay. 1le em¡loy
er vill likely ex¡lair Lle vages,
ard bereíiL ¡ackage vlicl car
be com¡ared agairsL your ¡re
regoLiaLior researcl.
IL is roL urreasorable Lo ask
íor íive ¡er cerL more Llar vlaL
Lley lave oííered (urless you íird
Lle salary sur¡risirgly ligl). Ií
Lle salary is íirm, iL is Lo your
advarLage Lo see ií vacaLior, ¡ro
íessioral develo¡merL, movirg
ex¡erses are regoLiable. IL’s
lel¡íul Lo a¡¡roacl iL ¡osiLive
ly. A useíul ¡lrase is “I am ready
Lo acce¡L Lle oííer buL accordirg
Lle researcl I lave corducLed,
¡eo¡le ir Llis íield are makirg
(sLaLe your rarge). I am jusL vor
derirg ií you car brirg Lle salary
closer Lo Llis rarge:” Ir Lacklirg
rorsalary issues you car say, “I
vas lo¡irg íor aroLler veek oí
vacaLior. Is Llere room Lo rego
LiaLe:” You car also ask íor more
iríormaLior or issues by askirg,
“Car you Lell me more abouL Lle
¡ersior ¡lar:”
IL’s a greaL idea Lo Lalk viLl a
career ¡roíessioral abouL salary
regoLiaLior. IL is roL a skill LlaL
mary ¡eo¡le are used Lo usirg,
ard yeL, every íuLure ircrease
you receive is a ¡ercerLage ir
crease or Llis regoLiaLed íigure.
COMIC BY ABHISHEK MOHAN
“Some jobs and
employers are
so prestigious
that having it
on your résumé
will help you
get other, more
lucrative offers.”
– Tara Weiss
LIFE 19
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
World War III
Otherwise known as
dirty dishes
ccLLLLK \cDcKLLL
IL’s roL Lle loud ¡arLyirg, or Lle
LoileL ¡a¡er rolls LlaL rever seem
Lo be re¡laced vlerever Lley’re
em¡Ly. WlaL really grirds my
gears ir a slared louse is disles
LlaL vaiL Lo be cleared íor lorg
¡eriods oí Lime.
Mary sLuderL louselolds
sLruggle viLl sucl a basic corce¡L
oí everyday livirg – addressirg
Lle dirLy, urusable disles.
WlaL is iL abouL clearirg u¡
aíLer cookirg ard eaLirg a meal
LlaL’s so diííiculL: Are sLuderLs
Loo busy viLl lomevork, or
did Lley rever geL ir Lle labiL
oí clearirg u¡ aíLer movirg ouL
oí Mom ard Dad’s louse:
“I used Lo lave a roommaLe
I called ‘Disles.’ I called lim
LlaL Lo give lim Lle idea Lo do
lis disles, because le rever did
Llem,” said ¡oliLical scierce
sLuderL Alyssa Ferry, vlo also
joked abouL leavirg said room
maLe’s disles ir lis bed Lo remird
lim Lo vasl Llem.
DirLy disles are roL alvays a
lauglirg maLLer. A dis¡uLe over
disles seriously irjured a college
sLuderL a íev morLls ago.
Ir Dec. zo:z, Kayla Asllyr
Borkovski, :¤, coríessed Lo
Micligar SLaLe Folice LlaL
sle ¡oisored ler roommaLe,
zoyearold Emily Jose¡l aíLer
Lle Lvo oí Llem lad ar argumerL
over dirLy disles. Borkovski
s¡rayed Jose¡l’s iced Lea viLl
bleacl, vlicl serL ler Lo Lle
los¡iLal íor LreaLmerL.
Obviously, Llis is ar exLreme
case oí losLiliLy mariíesLirg as a
res¡orse Lo dirLy disles. I’ve lad
roommaLes vlo leL ¡asLasauce
ercrusLed ¡oLs siL íor more Llar
a morLl ard grov a Llick layer oí
greer mold, ard I’ve lad oLlers
vlo íorgoL vlicl ¡laLes or cu¡s
Lley used, ard so Lley rever
vasled Lle iLems. Over Lime, I
learred lov im¡orLarL iL is Lo ad
dress Lle sLicky siLuaLior beíore
Lersior builds.
“RaLler Llar demard LlaL
your roommaLe vasl all disl
es immediaLely aíLer usirg Llem,
gerLly suggesL LlaL iLems slould
be ¡laced ir Lle dislvasler riglL
avay (ií you lave ore), or LlaL a
deadlire be seL,” is advice LlaL car
be íourd or Lle A¡arLmerL RaL
irgs vebsiLe. “Your goal is roL Lo
arLagorize your roommaLe, buL Lo
creaLe a beLLer livirg ervirormerL
íor boLl oí you.”
Some louses ¡lar veekly clores,
vlile oLlers ado¡L a “oreíorore,
ard ore íor all!” ¡liloso¡ly vlere
you clear vlaLever you’ve used.
WlaLever your louselold’s re
gime, make sure LlaL disles are roL
comirg ir beLveer good írierds.
Jolr ALkirsor, markeLirg ard
commuricaLiors sLuderL, claims
lis louse is ¡reLLy clear. His
secreL:
“Dor’L ¡uL iL off Lo laLer – deal
viLl Lle ¡roblem. You lave Lo
clear iL everLually, so vly roL
riglL rov:” ALkirsor said, addirg
aroLler ¡iece oí advice íor messy
sLuderLs· “Dislvaslers, ard mo
LivaLior Lo use dislvaslers.”
VANESSA TIGNANELLI
Detoxify your life
Eight simple tricks to
reduce toxins in your
home
xILÞA vAKDLÞcÞKL
BFA, FERC, ard Lriclosar are
amorg some oí Lle mary commor
Loxirs íourd ir louselold ard
¡ersoral ¡roducLs. Tese Loxirs
geL irLo your body Llrougl Llree
mair vays· irlalaLior, dermal ab
sor¡Lior (Llrougl Lle skir) ard
irgesLior. Orce Lley lave erLered
your body, Lley are carried by Lle
blood ard may be sLored ir Lissues
or excreLed. Tese Loxirs lave beer
¡rover Lo cause larmíul lealLl
effecLs Lo boLl lumars ard Lle er
virormerL. Here are some basic
sLe¡s Lo reducirg Lle Loxirs ir your
lome·
. IrsLead oí clemical air íresler
ers, Lry ¡oL¡ourri or bakirg soda.
Ií you like DIY ¡rojecLs, lomemade
air íreslerers (reci¡es easily íourd
orlire) are a greaL vay Lo ¡ersor
alize your lome.
. FlasLic íood vra¡ usually
corLairs Bis¡lerol A (BFA), ar es
Lrogeric lormore disru¡Lor. Use
alumirum íoil or reusable corLair
ers as alLerraLives.
. NorsLick ¡ars oíLer corLair
FFOA, a likely carciroger. Tere
are mary alLerraLives Lo ror sLick
cookvare, ircludirg casL iror ard
sLairless sLeel o¡Liors.
. Avoid dryclear orly cloLles.
MosL dry clearers use ¡ercllo
roeLlylere (FERC) vlicl is
desigraLed urder Lle Caradiar
ErvirormerLal FroLecLior AcL as
a bioaccumulaLive clemical Loxic
Lo Lle ervirormerL.
. CosmeLics, LoileLries ard ¡er
íumes viLl syrLleLic íragrarces
oíLer corLair ¡lLlalaLes (a lor
more disru¡Lor), so Lry a sviLcl
Lo íragrarceíree ¡roducLs.
. ArLibacLerial soa¡ corLairs Lri
closar, a clemical LlaL disru¡Ls Lle
lormoral sysLem ard is amorg a
class oí clemicals sus¡ecLed oí
causirg carcer. ArLibacLerial soa¡
car be sva¡¡ed ouL íor regular soa¡
ard vaLer.
. Ií you use cllorire bleacl, Lry
sviLclirg Lo biodegradable, ror
cllorire liquid bleacl or oxyger
bleacl ¡ovder.
. For louselold clearirg, a lome
made mixLure oí viregar ard vaLer
vill do jusL Lle Lrick, ard cosL a
íracLior oí Lle ¡rice oí sLore bouglL
¡roducLs.
Tese Li¡s are jusL a sLarL aL re
ducirg your larmíul clemical
ex¡osure. A íull guide Lo a Loxic
íree lome, as vell as a ¡ockeL guide
Lo Loxir íree cosmeLics car be íourd
or Lle ErvirormerLal Deíerce
vebsiLe. For Lle lealLl oí your body
ard ervirormerL, educaLe yourselí
or Lle ¡roducLs you corsume ard
Lake Lle deLox clallerge.
Potpourri can be used as a non-toxic alternative to chemical air
fresheners.
COURTESY
“I used to have
a roommate I
called ‘Dishes.’ I
called him that to
give him the idea
to do his dishes,
because he never
did them”
–Alyssa Penny
Some university students run into issues when their shared housing becomes a haven for dirty dishes.
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
LIFE 20
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Lisa Kellenberger
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Curtis Van Laecke
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Alex Lefebvre
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Contributors
Mira Beth
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Adrien Potvin
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Pablo Vadone
Kiera Vandeborne
Olivia Zollino
To be, or not to be (gun-free)?
Ir Lle everirg oí Marcl :o, a
z¸yearold mar vas arresLed
ouLside Lle SLuderL Liíe CerLre aL
Lle UriversiLy oí WaLerloo. Folice
res¡orded Lo a Li¡ LlaL a mar vas
firirg a lardgur ir Lle area rear
Cedar Crove Road. Te mar vas
everLually arresLed aL gur¡oirL
rear Lle SLuderL Liíe CerLre. A
semiauLomaLic rifle ard Frar
kersLeir mask vere íourd ir Lle
Lrurk oí Lle velicle le used.
From ore ¡ers¡ecLive, Llis vas
ar error ir judgmerL or Lle ¡arL
oí Lle mar vlo is rov íacirg
vea¡ors clarges. From aroLl
er, a ¡lysical bourdary las beer
crossed, ard iL seems vorLlvlile
Lo address iL.
Tis is roL ar arLigur rarL,
Llougl iL is Lem¡Lirg Lo advarce
ir LlaL direcLior.
RaLler, Lle im¡licaLiors oí ar
irsLrumerL oí violerce, ir Llis case
a semiauLomaLic rifle, irLrudirg
or Lle cam¡us’s ¡lysical locaLior
ouglL Lo be oí more corcerr Lo a
su¡¡osedly learred commuriLy oí
urdergraduaLes.
Ideally, Lle uriversiLy is creaLed
as a ¡lace íor Lle íree´ exclarge oí
ideas ard iríormaLior, a secLior
oí socieLy sarcLiored íor ¡ursuiLs
oí Lle irLellecL – ar irsLiLuLior oí
ligler learrirg. We sLudy Lleories
oí crime, lavs oí ¡lysics, ¡rir
ci¡les oí ecology, ard Lle rules
oí grammar (Llougl íev abide).
FurdamerLally, ve learr Lle íree
ard acLive ¡ursuiL oí krovledge
ard urdersLardirg – ¡illars oí
¡eace ard goodvill amorgsL our
íellov lumar beirgs.
Te ¡oLerLial íor violerce rurs
so ram¡arL ir Lle global ¡oliLical
íabric, ore vould Llirk LlaL ií ve
are “Lle clarge ve visl Lo see ir
Lle vorld,” as I’m sure mary oí us
lave beer Lold ir our youLl, Ller
lov car ve sLard idly by as everLs
like Llese uríold:
Te suggesLior lere is roL Lo bar
gurs írom socieLy. I’m sure ore
day someore vill Lell me oí Lleir
berefiL. Te suggesLior is LlaL a
uriversiLy musL be devoid oí Lle
aggressior ard irLerL Lo larm LlaL
a gur so vividly symbolizes. Tere
is ro dis¡uLirg vlaL a gur re¡
reserLs ir Lle lards oí a masked
¡ersor.
Ir Lle recerL ¡asL, iL’s beer easy
Lo ¡uL geogra¡lical ard ideologi
cal differerce beLveer “us” ard
“Llem,” as “Lley” vere mosLly
Americar sclools LlaL lave ex¡e
rierced Lragedy ir Lle lasL several
years. Tis irciderL aL WaLerloo
clarges Llirgs, ever ií robody vas
larmed ir LlaL series oí everLs,
eííecLively breakirg dovr Lle
barrier our ¡sycle could creaLe
ir order Lo ¡rovide Lle illusior oí
saíeLy or a uriversiLy cam¡us.
Frarkly, I’m roL sure lov LlaL
illusior ever íurcLiored aryvay,
sirce violerce surrourds us or a
regular basis. OuL oí íairress Lo Lle
realiLies oí ¡ublic liíe, ií you ¡uL
several Llousard lormoreer
ricled yourg ¡eo¡le ir ore area,
someore’s bourd Lo geL ¡urcled
ir Lle LeeLl orce ir a vlile. My
lo¡e is LlaL Lle ¡oLerLial íor vio
lerce LlaL’s seL Lo occur or a riglL
aL Lle bar, a day oí birgedrirk
irg, or Lle disagreemerLs LlaL arise
ouL oí Differarce is already aL iLs
greaLesL exLerL – ard gurs reed
roL erLer Lle ¡icLure as a remoLe
¡ossibiliLy. Te ¡reserce oí a gur
rear or or a cam¡us ervirormerL
sLrikes a roLe oí corLrasL Lo Lle eí
íecL a uriversiLy educaLior ouglL
Lo lave or a ¡ersor’s riglL Lo liíe
ard Lle ¡ursuiL oí la¡¡iress.
So vlile ve mull over our
souLlerly reiglbours (or reigl
bors, as Lley vould lave iL), kee¡
ir mird LlaL or Marcl :z ir Dur
lam regior, a íormer RCMF offi cer
vas íourd viLl 6, firearms ir lis
lome. Mary oí Lle maclire gurs,
assaulL rifles, smoke grerades, ard
¡isLols vere alLered so Lley vould
be diffi culL Lo Lrack. Ol, ard Lle
¸zircl carror ard Llousards
oí rourds oí ammuriLior miglL
also come as a biL oí a slock. Ter
Llere’s Lle irciderL ir Bram¡Lor
vlere Llree vomer vere sloL aL
a sLri¡ club. Reíererce also Lle five
mer beLveer Lle ages oí :¸ ard z¸
LlaL lave beer killed ir 1ororLo by
gurfire so íar Llis year.
Clearly, iL’s dargerous busiress
valkirg ouL your írorL door. So Lle
im¡eLus musL resL ir Lle mirds oí
Lle yourg academic commuriLy Lo
kee¡ Lle uriversiLy as a sarcLuary
íor Lle irLellecL, as a ¡lace vlere
ve may dissecL Lle irLricacies oí
socieLy Lo vork Lovards a beLLer
vorld. Ar idealisL’s ¡ers¡ecLive, I
krov, buL Lle recessiLy oí creaLirg
a beLLer socieLy Llrougl academia
is íurdamerLal Lo Lle uriversi
Ly’s role ir lumar culLure, ard ir
equal measure is íurdamerLal Lo
lumariLy’s corLirued exisLerce —
ar exisLerce LlaL is clallerged by
Lle ¡reserce oí ar objecL erLire
ly corLradicLory Lo all LlaL ligler
educaLior aims Lo suggesL.
IL’s dargerous busiress valkirg
ouL your írorL door, buL iL slould
rever be so vler valkirg ouL oí
Lle classroom. We’re ir Llis Lo
geLler, íor beLLer or íor vorse.
RE: e other “P” in PPP
Ir Derise MarLir’s arLicle or Lle
FFF sle sLaLes LlaL Lle 1rades
sLaíí are s¡read Loo Llir, Llere
reed Lo be more 1A’s, ard class
sizes are Loo large. 1lese com
merLs reílecL exacLly vly Lle
FFF is so criLical. As Lle Uri
versiLy íaces a ¡rojecLed íurdirg
ga¡ oí s¸z millior over Lle rexL
íour years, iL car res¡ord by
im¡osirg across Lle board cuLs
(reducirg qualiLy across Lle
board) or make decisiors Lo er
sure LlaL our limiLed resources
are direcLed Lovard services ard
¡rograms LlaL are criLical Lo su¡
¡orLirg our missior. 1lis ¡rocess
is roL abouL rarkirg ¡rograms
írom :6oo buL abouL ¡lacirg
¡rograms ir quarLiles LlaL vill
íaciliLaLe sLraLegic decisiors
regardirg erriclmerL, reduc
Lior, reorgarizaLior or ¡ossibly
Lle elimiraLior oí services ard
¡rograms. Wlile I agree LlaL ve
reed Lo corLirue Lo ¡ress Lle
goverrmerL Lo su¡¡orL ligl
er educaLior, Lle realiLy is iLs
budgeL is also clallerged ard ve
are orly ore oí mary ¡rograms
askirg íor erlarced su¡¡orL. A
soluLior is roL arLici¡aLed ir Lle
slorLLerm ard iL vould be irre
s¡orsible Lo ¡uL our lead ir Lle
sard ard corLirually cuL arourd
Lle edges vaiLirg íor LlaL elu
sive ¡ayday.
Brenda Whiteside,
Associate Vice-President (Student
Affairs) and Acting Director,
Human Rights and Equity Offi ce
“e presence
of a gun near
or on a campus
environment
strikes a note
of contrast
to the effect
a university
education
ought to have
on a person’s
right to life and
the pursuit of
happiness.”
A line was crossed when weapons-related charges were laid at the University of Waterloo campus on
March 10. Nobody was injured in the evening’s events.
JIMBO ILLUSTRATIONS
21
EDITORIAL
1,o. ¤ ◆ \AÞcL 1(1L, :o1¸
LETTERS
Diffi culty level: 16
4 8 1 7 2 5 3 9 6
9 2 5 8 3 6 4 1 7
3 6 7 4 9 1 2 8 5
5 1 8 9 7 3 6 2 4
6 9 3 1 4 2 5 7 8
2 7 4 5 6 8 1 3 9
7 4 2 3 5 9 8 6 1
8 5 6 2 1 7 9 4 3
1 3 9 6 8 4 7 5 2
Congratulations to
this week's crossword
winner: Shannon Chan.
Stop by the Ontarion
offi ce to pick up
your prize!
Across
: SLaLe (ír.)
¸ Dull
¤ FoLaLo sLaLe
:( Frosl’s rexL year
:¸ Surrourdirg glov
:6 Harg loose
:, Marcl :,Ll lorouree (z)
:¤ Way ir
zo AlleviaLior
z: Higllards
z¸ CiLrus drirk suffi x
z( Mr. Flarders
z6 “Mamma ¸¸¸!”
z, Caradiar bard, Blue ¸¸¸
z¤ FurcLual (z)
¸( Faddy’s colour
¸, LeíL
¸¤ DieLlylereLriamire, íor slorL
(o Orlire jourrals
(: Irdiar bread
(z 1ersiorfilled s¡orLs corLesL
(z)
(( Fub orders
(¸ RevolL
(6 Caradiar de¡arLmerL sLore
(S WorkouL LargeL
¸o ErvirormerLal ¡refix
¸: Coerzyme A, íor slorL
¸( Clover
¸¤ FiLcl adjusLers
6: Former Alaskar Coverror
6z Clarged Lle íorm oí
6( UK liLmaker
6¸ FeLri disl filler
66 “Me also” (z)
6, 1asLeless
6S S¡ecialisL degree ir ¡syclology,
íor slorL
6¤ Liíe SaíeLy SecuriLy ard
IrvesLigaLior
Down
: Americar sirgersorgvriLer ¸¸¸
Molavk
z Carried
¸ Mac maker
( Bargkok raLive
¸ Had Loo mucl greer beer:
6 Frercl ¡rorour
, FlaLíooL’s lack
S ¸¸¸ O¡Lical
¤ FoLaLo courLry
:o Dirg
:: Kird oí sax
:z Irisl beer
:¸ Fair meds
:S Woodvorkirg joirL ¡arL
zz Big caLs
z¸ Cave ouL
z, NiglLs IrLo Dreams claracLer
zS Tey’re blovr ir Lle virds
¸o BraxLor ard ColleLLe
¸: ¸¸¸ irsLarL, aL orce (z)
¸z \egeLariar’s roro
¸¸ ExLersior Meclarisms íor DNS
¸( Ceromic deoxyriborucleic
acid
¸¸ HarvesL
¸6 Erergy 1eclrology IrrovaLior
Folicy
¸S Feel Lle same
(o “Te HobbiL” lero Baggirs
(¸ Irisl sLore
(( Selíres¡ecLirg
(, Feríormers
(¤ 1oss ouL
¸: Caelic íolk
¸z Sardvicl cookies
¸¸ “Me also” (¸)
¸( Squabble
¸¸ MoLl gerus
¸6 AcLor Baldvir
¸, Halí oí lalíardlalí
¸S Sources oí (( Across
6o Sirger Yourg
6¸ S¡rirg morLl
SUBMIT your completed crossword
by no later than Monday, March
18th at 4 for a chance to win
TWO FREE BOB’S DOG’S!
CROSSWORD BY KATE AND SEAN
Last Week's Solution
COMICS BY TRAVIS DANDRO
“If a man who cannot count finds a four-leaf clover, is he lucky?”
~ Stanislaw J. Lec
vvv. 1LLcK1AÞIcK. cc\
22
CROSSWORD
SUDOKU COMICS
23
community listings
170. 9 ◆ march 14th, 2013
sERVicEs
NEED ESSAY HELP! All subjects,
research, writing and editing spe-
cialists, toll free 1 888 345 8295
customessay@bellnet.ca. Join
our advertising team and make
great commissions by placing
posters around campus. Details:
416-280-6113.
classifiEd
Tursday march 14
Stratford Shakespeare Lecture
Series @ Your Guelph Public Li-
brary. Te GPL and the Stratford
Shakespeare Festival present four
thought-provoking lectures based
on this season’s plays. Each evening
lecture features local Shakespear-
ean experts. 7pm, Main Library
(100 Norfolk St.). March 7, 14, 21and
28. Admission free. www.library.
guelph.on.ca
Guelph Field Naturalists Meeting,
7:30pm at the Arboretum Centre.
All welcome. Dr. Alex Smith of
University of Guelph speaking on
Biodiversity.
Thursday At Noon Concert Se-
ries. Concerts start at 12:00p.m.
Tursdays in Mackinnon room 107
(Goldschmidt room). Admission
free – donations gratefully appre-
ciated. Everyone welcome! www.
uoguelph.ca/so
Te Western Ontario Drama League
(WODL) Festival at the Guelph Little
Teatre, March 11-16. Tis region’s
top-rated community theatre pro-
ductions to be performed on GLT’s
stage by fve competing groups
during March break. All perfor-
mances 8pm at GLT. Visit www.
guelphlittletheatre.com for details.
176 Morris St. 519-821-0270. fam/
friday march 15
Student Print Show and Sale. Stu-
dents from the School of Fine Art and
Music will be showing and selling
their original lithographs, etchings,
and relief and screen prints. March
15-16, 10am – 5pm and March 17,
noon-5pm.
Zavitz Hall, Room 207.
saturday march 16
Guelph Celtic Orchestra. A fun, li-
censed, Family St Patrick’s Day event
with the Orchestra, Irish Dancers
and a Ceilidh Dance for young and
old! Guelph Legion, 43 Watson Blvd.
Tickets $12 -available at Janus Books,
Royal Plaza, Paisley Rd.
monday march 18
Career Aviators Business Career Club:
Students and professionals welcome.
Mondays 7pm -9pm, Innovation
Guelph (111 Farquhar Street). Stra-
tegic advice and support; guest
presentations; motivation to stay
on track; worldwide Information
exchange. PWYC. Info:1 866 873 7633
www.careeraviators.com
tuesday march 19
Buddhist Meditation Class- Sim-
ple, practical methods to improve
the quality of our life and develop
inner peace. Drop in class 7-8:30pm
at St. Matthias Anglican Church,
171 Kortright Rd. W. $10. www.
meditationintoronto.org/branches/
meditate-guelph/
Tursday march 21
Tin Roof Global’s Water Walk to
raise awareness about internation-
al water issues and raise funds for
their “Roof It H20” program which
brings clean water to impoverished
schools in Uganda. For further de-
tails Email: tinroof@uoguelph.ca . Or
visit: www.tinroofglobal.com
From Big Brothers Big Sisters Of
Guelph : BOWL FOR KIDS’ SAKE:
March 21-24 at Woodlawn Bowl. Two
hours of bowling, free pizza and pop,
fantastic prizes. For more details and
to register check us out on Facebook
“Bowl for Kids’ Sake 2013” and on-
line at www.guelphbowl.kintera.
org.
Interested in being a veterinarian?
Animal lover just interested in learn-
ing more? OVC Mini Vet School every
Tursday in March (March 7-28) of-
fers 2 lectures a night on topics from
animal welfare to anatomy! Register
at www.ovcminivetschool.ca
friday march 22
Te EveryBody Conference Tree
day conference exploring bodi-
ly autonomy and community care.
Visit www.theeverybodyconfer-
ence.wordpress.com for a detailed
list of workshops and events @U of
G campus.
Tursday march 28
Dancetheatre David Earle Ofers Eas-
ter Sacred Dance. 7pm at Harcourt
Church, 87 Dean Ave. Admission
by donation with proceeds going
to Chalmers Community Servic-
es Centre. A donation of healthy
non-perishable food would also be
appreciated. Reservations can be
made online or at the studio, 519-
837-2746. www.dtde.ca
ongoing:
Guelph Food Bank Spring Food
Drive. March 20th to April 7th. Goal:
80,000lbs of non-perishable food
items
Non-perishable donations can be
dropped of at Local Grocery Stores,
Fire Halls and Guelph Food Bank at
100 Crimea Street.
Free tutoring program run out of the
Bookshelf downtown for high school
students. Te program runs Tues-
day, Wednesday, and Tursdays from
3:30-4:45pm beginning on Feb 5th
through to March 28th. If interested,
contact bookshelftutoringprogram@
gmail.com.
Macdonald Stewart Art Centre Ex-
hibitions by Canadian artists: ‘Phil
Bergerson: American Shards’ runs
until to April 14. ‘Vessna Perunovich:
Line Rituals & Radical Knitting’ runs
until March 31. MSAC 358 Gordon St.
519-767-2661 www.msac.ca
Guelph Civic Museum opens’ Waist
Management: A History of Unmen-
tionables’, a new touring exhibit
from the Fashion History Museum.
Exhibit runs until April 14. Open
daily 1-5 pm. 52 Norfolk St. 519-
836-1221 ext. 2773 www.guelph.
ca/museum.
Guelph Life Drawing. Tuesdays
(7-10pm) and Saturdays (1-4pm).
Admission/$15 or 5 classes/$50.
Open to beginners and the experi-
enced alike. Come and enjoy gestural
drawing (Tuesdays) or a single sus-
tained pose (Saturdays). Any medium
welcome. Contact: Garth.Laidlaw@
gmail.com; guelphlifedrawing.blog-
spot.ca

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