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A Season of Marriages : When Yokes are Garlanded on Our Necks...Happily..

by Nisaar Y. Nadiadwala (Notes) on Wednesday, November 30, 2011 at 9:38am A couple of month back a rich Muslim family from a metropolitian south Indian city flew all the way to Mumbai to order a wedding gown for their daugther in law. The wedding is in summer but the gown was ordered 6 months before. Few weeks later they flew back to Mumbai to check if the stitching work was going on properly ! Calculate the expenditure of travelling and add it to the cost of wedding gown. It reached more than a couple of lac Indian rupees From November till June, India celebrates weddings. Indian marriages are like the Big Bang Theory with money sprinkling in evey direction. This reminds me the 157 th verse of Surah alAr'af where two important obligations of the Prophet peace be upon him are reminded..wa'ud'oo anhu israhoom, wal aglalalti kanat alaihim... And he eases their burden and releases them off their yokes which are upon them.... These two obligations are applicable to our marriages, even for a rich man's marriage who can afford a fattish and a lavish entertaining feast. Though our weddings seem celebrations but they are burdens upon the society. We have tied up the yokes of social obligations on our necks. Those obligations which were removed by the Prophet peace be upon him are now back like garlands of ritual and customs. Our marriages are just entertainments attached with a string of expenses in gold jewellry, rent and decoration of Halls, ultra expensive wedding gowns, multi cuisine menu studded with varieties of ice creams, faloodas....All these have become a compulsory expendtiture and a status symbol of a marriage. Even a poor man is not exempted from it. Inorder to curb fornication , Islam made marriages easy and simple, but our marraiges have made fornication easier. It is very difficult to have toto hijab based waleema, because in every gathering there are males and females guests and relatives who seem to have never heard of hijab and are roaming every whre in the partitioned hall. They are on the stage with the Non-mahram cousin to have a pciture with her in her wedding gown, they are laughing and joking with other Non-mahram cousins and relatives. Count this too as a yoke on our necks. A girl who is regular in observing hijab finds her self helpless amidst the crowd of unwanted males in the walima . Our weddings have become places and events that build new walls of complexes between various classes. A middle class man attending a rich man's wedding returns home planning to organise his own sons' wedding in a similar manner but out of his budget What the rich men do lavishly the middle class men do it lavishly within his own circle but beyond his capacity. A Memon refuses to marry a non Memon and so does a Punjabi looks down upon a Bihari, whereas a Sayyed always looks for Sayyed.. Traditions of ignorance which were trampled under his feet by the Prophet peace be upon him are revived by this Ummah in a large number. No wonder the yokes are back but this time in the form of garlands so that no body finds it a burden.... Author : Nisaar Nadiadwala writes and speaks on Islam and Muslims.. He can be reached at