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12:45 pm, Wednesday, 3/27/2013 1 st, Mayan day 9 Cib/Wisdom, Owl or Vulture

Layers of Separation Dissolving – Toni as Exemplar
Believing in Myself Outside of Time – 8:58 Video Journal
It's time to root out and explore into yet another layer of separation . It's amazing how one can go along so well – seemingly so – for so long carrying these things, all unaware. Then, one day, one moment, the awareness comes – one just suddenly knows or sees something – and we're off to the next level of union. This time it's as if I was told – told by an invisible one – and maybe I was. While listening to Toni's first reading for me – which was only half an hour – I pondered how it was that, if I were to order it today I'd order the longer one, the hour reading. These things are simply divine. So it went from there to wondering how it was that one could just turn the divine on and off like that – limiting it to 30 minutes or going on for an hour. How can that be, I wondered? Is that not Source speaking? I know that it is. Yet she is able to decide the length of it. My journals are certainly not that way – or not seen that way, at any rate. And thus I saw into yet a further layer of the separation I have somehow crafted between self and Source. Now, there really is no such thing as separation – that comes first. It must be known to be a mirage, it seems to me. That's an important foundation, for we love truth, here. It must come first. But – and here I simply admit my true, honest state – my state of

unknowing – there's true, and then there's 3D. Yeah, 3D is largely a mystery to me – I admit it. So I'm just open to it. I'm just watching, just observing it. I know there's truth at the heart of it – but meanwhile, there's precious little of it that's understood. Ah – and thus comes another one, another small gem of understanding. This is also the seeming separation of mind and spirit. Right now spirit in “me” is doing fine – is conscious and aware. I can't really say that for mind – for Higher Mind. I find it participates either less or simply silently. I just don't have much understanding of – well, of anything – and that's quite okay. That's the neat part. At first it was just strange, but now it is neat – even wonderful. To be and to find such contentment in not knowing – well, who'd a thunk it, right? From the outside – from the 3D mind perspective – that's simply crazy. But it's not – and from the inside, the spirit or soul or divine side, we find that it's as far from crazy as one can get. It's really quite wonderful, this ability to contentedly dwell in “I don't know” (IDK). So, back to the original thing that was shown to me just a bit ago – about how Toni (or anyone) can seemingly turn on and turn off the flow of the divine. Due to my current-fast-becoming-previous understanding the self and the flow are not wholly one. There's the self – then there's the flow that comes when it will – does what it will – and of course goes when it will. Hmm. Yet – and this is key, is critical – the flow through Toni is certainly the divine. There is no question in me about that. So it is inescapable – she can turn it off and turn it on – and do so as part of her livelihood, for the reading are not free. How very interesting. I just love this :) So, okay – this totally reminds me of the years I spent where I was unwilling to alter so much as a word of the journals. For so long I truly felt the flow of the divine in them. To me they were simply sacred. Somehow I knew that. As an aspect of my respect for that I would alter nothing beyond misplaced punctuation or a misspelling. One day I suddenly realized that I'd begun to make small alterations in them – to replace a word with a better word – something like that. As I was observing self at this – well, I was just watching, knowing it was different, it was unusual, but still

just watching. What I noticed was that I was very much in the divine flow as this was happening. I could feel it – feel the “rightness” of it, sense the sacredness – and I respected that. Had I not sensed the presence of the divine acting I would likely have stopped myself from making these edits. Things that make you go hmm. So I just continued to watch. Was it a period of weeks or months? I don't know. I just know that, as I continued watching self doing this I came to know it was right – to have confidence in it. This helped or caused me to internally adjust my understandings around reality. What had been verboten, before, was suddenly quite okay. Some more hmm. It just flowed on like that. Pretty soon I was watching the self adding to the written journals as I read them into the web cam – inserting little ad-libs here and there – more and more. Sometimes one would go just as it was written, but not that often. It was something to adjust to – yet what “part” of me was adjusting? Obviously the main part, the important part – the spirit being I Am – needed no adjustment. It was already, even instantly, so content with the “new” way of freely editing the journals. Yes, it appears clear, now, that it was mind that required an adjustment in its perception – or definition – of reality. Mind had to catch up. Well, the life-saver, if you will, to this was that I knew and could distinguish Heart from head – the voice of mind from that of the inner Being. And mind already knew of its secondary place, subject to Heart. It didn't always cooperate willingly or instantly, but at least we were beyond its instant and positive rebellion at anything Heart did that it didn't understand. Initially, all there was was this constant rebellion. Mind didn't take kindly to being ousted from the seat of authority in my life. So, okay, I see now it was mind doing the adjusting. Sorting and separating out – will we always be doing this? Seems like a rather endless process, at times. Still, it's so wonderful as each new vista is seen – each new distinction between head and spirit or Heart gives that much more breathing room – more space to just Be – and I like it!

So, I was recalling how, over time and fairly recently, I watched this change take place via how I journal. After some years of so highly respecting them – or that's how it seemed to me at the time – things suddenly changed. It's not that I respected them less. It's more that I respected me more. I both saw and felt how I was one with that flow. I watched the flow enter in to my life that much deeper – take over more territory of the everyday life, as it were, converting it to the divine. Now, that's one way of seeing it and of saying it. One can also say or see that this was an internal layer of separation that was removed. First, there was the divine, the journal flow – then there was I. Later, the I merged with the divine more and more. The net result was far less separation. I rejoiced in that. It felt very freeing, leading as it did to a whole reassessment of self, of the relationship of self to the divine. One doesn't think these things. It's more like they think you. It's not like dancing – it's rather like you're being danced – like the divine is dancing you. If you're in Heart when you listen/read, this can/will make sense. Okay, now back to today and the new layer of separation that's going away. It's brand new, just yet. I haven't even paused upon waking to have coffee and morning tinctures, but came straight to the journal. I even felt told to do this – well, better to say I received the suggestion. From whom, I don't consciously know, but Heart knows – and the knowing is so close I can almost taste it. This is delightful. So, pardon me while I go over and over it in different ways, but I'm wanting to taste every flavor of it. If I ever saw the flow of the divine in anyone beyond self, that would be Toni. Of course there are many more, such as Ramana, Yogananda, Mooji, and some very simple folk – there are so many. Still, one thing is for certain – to me – is that Toni is firmly seated in the flow of the divine. This Heart simply knows that – and quite rejoices in it, as can be seen in a number of my recent journals. It is so exciting to find another pure outlet for the divine, and one who is actually alive, in body, and accessible – but I digress.

So, that being the case, then this Heart looks at – wait, I can't say for sure it's Heart looking. Probably not, since Heart just knows things. Anyway, when I'm observing how Toni works – and I must tell you I was quite put off by some of it at first – her way of arranging her readings – one sees something else than what I see in my life. What was I put off by? At first, her seemingly extreme selfconfidence. I wondered at the source of her information, and at the powerful confidence in it she displayed. It seemed odd to me. I knew I did not have that within this self, that level or layer of confidence. It even extended to promoting her works – her book, her classes, and so on. That, too, felt strange. I could tell I was much different inside – yet I found it exciting, as I felt she was in the flow of the divine. It took some time for me to test and know this. I signed up for her newsletter and of course subbed her YouTube channel. At a certain point – even though she was so internally different than I was – I felt it was time to really test it out, so I ordered one of her readings – a half-hour Angelic Human reading. Well, within five minutes of listening to the beginning of the reading I was a deep convert. I have probably listened to it a hundred times, already – and have not yet put it away. It is so very deep, and so totally right on. Though she read me “cold,” neither knowing who I am or anything about me beyond the basic requested birth date, she hit so many deep things right on target that there's just no mistaking a true divine connection. Okay, that just to explain or fill in a few details. Meanwhile, back to this morning. How was it, I wondered, that she could do that – could give half hour or hour readings? I saw, then, that she had integrated the divine more deeply into her 3D life than I had – yet. :)) Just as I could once not alter a word of the journals – so separate from self was their sacred flow – now I see yet another layer of separation I have unwittingly placed between me and the divine. She has joined it up more with mind, being able to make mind specifications – such as the length of the reading – than I yet have. And I'm excited. Why is that? We don't get shown things for no reason. It's usually when something is well on its way out that we

are finally able to see it and where it had been within us – the spot it had occupied in our being. We see its unreality and how it was woven in with our identity – our beliefs. So it's a very good thing. This likely has some way to go in revealing itself to me. More observing will yield more and more understanding and at deeper depths. Still, the fact that it was revealed this morning is precious. And likely, friends, had I not come here to journal it, it's quite possible it may have been lost. Mind can do that – can cover over things or so thoroughly distract us that the precious gems are all but discarded. We don't mean to do that – but we do. We let it happen, particularly when we leave mind in charge of things. Life is so much better, I've found, when lived from Heart. Now, to the almost equally – okay, to the equally exciting part – the part where I realized I hadn't thought this up or perceived it, unaided. This was told to me this morning. She is now revealing that it was her – my Guide – who showed it to me. This is a first – conscious contact so direct that it was like someone talking to me. Okay – I feel it – some of you are now wondering, “Well then, how does she communicate with the 12D soul family?” It's different, friends. That comes from deep within Heart. It doesn't have a form or face or seemingly separate identity. How do I describe this? When the 12D's talk they don't do it from 3D, they do it from 5D, where you and I also abide. So it's in another layer or level of our being where I receive those conversations. I'm equally close to them, as to the Guide who spoke with me this morning, only it's other-dimensional. The surprise of the morning is that she felt so almost-present, right here in 3D. I felt her as if almost in the room with me – not at all other-dimensional. Oh dear – I don't know how well that covers it. For those who have had such experiences, I feel it will be enough. For those of you have haven't – yet – I can only say stay out of thought and mind with it. They can't even touch it. Truly, friends, we're going from thinking to sensing. It's a different way of perceiving, and it opens up broad vistas of things quite unknown and largely inaccessible to mind.

So, I guess that covers it. It's been a good while since an actual experience or event brought me to the journal to record it. That's how they began, all those decades ago – as a way to keep track of and preserve the special happenings or understandings that came to me – to help sort them out. So in a way this feels like that, only way up the spiral staircase of Light on a much higher rung. Not that higher is better or lower is worse – no such thing. Heart just rejoices to draw ever closer to Truth, to the divine, and it celebrates that with simple Joy. This we all understand.


Toni Petrinovich or SacredSarrah, Spiritual Guide, multidimensional communication, journaling as alchemical, rising consciousness, Angelic Human reading, higher dimensional soul family, 12D ETs, devotion to Truth, increased clarity of vision, dissolving layers of separation, Source God or Spirit, OWN being divine, Higher Self as Essence, watch and observe, awaken or enlighten, flexible perspective, live from Heart, let go or surrender