You are on page 1of 25

Shel Silverstein

Where the sidewalk ends

I Must Remember
I must remember… Turkey on Thanksgiving, Pudding on Christmas, Eggs on Easter, Chicken on Sunday, Fish on Friday, Leftovers, Monday. But ah, me – I am such a dunce. I went and ate then all at once.

If you‘re a bird. . be an early bird— But if you‘re a worm. be an early bird And catch the worm for your breakfast plate.Early Bird Oh. sleep late. if you‘re a bird.

Please stick them into your eye! . sweetness and rightness: Hello Pardon me How are you Excuse me Bless you May I? Thank you Goodbye If you know some that I forgot.I’m making a list I‘m making a list of the things I must say for politeness. And goodness and kindness and gentleness.

And that I hear as I lie in my bed Is the slishity-slosh of the rain in my head. I can‘t do a handstand. I might overflow. So pardon the wild crazy thing I just said— I‘m just not the same since there‘s rain in my head. I sleep very softly. I walk very slow.Rain I opened my eyes And looked up at the rain. . And it dripped in my head And flowed into my brain.

until I met A water snake named Clyde. And soon they had me tied To a pole and built a fire Under me—I almost cried Till a mermaid came and cut me loose And begged to be my bride. And went out for a ride. But he dropped me in a boiling lake A thousand miles wide. So I said I‘d come back Wednesday But I must admit I lied. . So I crawled into a wildcat‘s cave To find a place to hide. But some pirates found me sleeping there. Then I ran into a jungle swamp But I forgot my guide And I stepped into some quicksand.True Story This morning I jumped on my horse. And no matter how I tried I couldn‘t get out. But an eagle came and swooped me up And through the air we flied. Who pulled me to some cannibals Who planned to have me fried. And you‘ll never guess what I did then— I DIED. And some wild outlaws chased me And they shot me in the side.

dread. Well. Oh. what do you know? It‘s nibblin‘ my toe. Oh my. A boa constrictor. gee. It‘s up to my neck. It‘s upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff… . I‘m being eaten by a boa constrictor. Oh. fiddle. Oh. Oh. It‘s up to my knee. I‘m being eaten By a boa constrictor. heck. And I don‘t like it—one bit. It‘s up to the middle.Boa Constrictor Oh. A boa constrictor. It‘s up to my thigh.

isn‘t there. isn‘t there any One kid that will buy this old sister for sale. This crying and spying young sister for sale? . So who‘ll start the bidding? Do I hear the dollar? A nickel? A penny? Oh. isn‘t there.For Sale One sister for sale! One sister for sale! One crying and spying young sister for sale! I‘m really not kidding.

So I opened a can of sardines. But they started to squeak. Now close up the lid!‖ So that‘s what I did… Will somebody please pass the beans? . ―Hey. You big silly sap. We were snuggled up tight Till you let in the light.‖ says I.Sleeping Sardines ―I‘m tired of eating just beans. we are tryin‘ to sleep. let us finish our nap.

my throat is dry. and my hart is—what? What‘s that? What‘s that you say? You say today is… Saturday? G‘bye. I think my hair is falling out. I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke. a rash and purple bumps. My mouth is wet. my toes are numb. I cannot hear. My nose is cold. My temperature is one-o-eight. I have the measles and the mumps. I‘m going blind in my right eye. my ankle‘s sprained. I‘ve counted sixteen chicken pox. my eyes are blue— It might be instamatic flue. My tonsils are as big as rocks. I hardly whisper when I speak. I have a silver in my thumb. And there‘s one more—that‘s seventeen. my spine ain‘t straight. My tongue is filling up my mouth. my voice is weak. And don‘t you think my face looks green? My leg is cut. I‘m sure that my left leg is broken— My hips hurt when I move my chin. My back is wrenched. My neck is stiff. I‘m going out to play!‖ . My belly button‘s caving in. There is a hole inside my ear. My ‗pendix pains each time it rains.Sick ―I cannot go to school today. A gash. My brain is shrunk. I have a hangnail. My elbow‘s bent.‖ Said little Peggy Ann McKay.

So she ate with her toes! .‖ ―OK.Ridiculous rose Her mama said.‖ SAID Ridiculous Rose. ―Don‘t eat with your fingers.

―OK. cookie crumbs. Yellow lumps of Cream of Wheat. And so it piled up to the ceilings: Coffee grounds. Candy the yams and spice the hams. Soggy beans and tangerines. From New York to the Golden Gate. Peanut butter caked and dry. And all the neighbors moved away. rotten peas. And though her daddy would scream and shout. That I cannot right now relate Because the hour is much too late. Prune pits. orange peel. Pizza crusts and withered greens. I‘ll take the garbage out!‖ But then. Gristly bits of beefy roasts… The garbage rolled on down the hall. remember Sarah Stout And always take the garbage out! . Globes of gooey bubble gum. Gloppy glumps of cold oatmeal.Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would Not Take The Garbage Out Sarah Cynthia Sylvia Stout Would not take the garbage out! She‘d scour the pots and scrape the pans. Brown bananas. of course. Chunks of sour cottage cheese. Cold french fried and rancid meat. Moldy melons. At last the garbage reached so high That finally it touched the sky. She simply would not take the garbage out. It filled the can. in the garbage she did hate. it covered the floor. And finally Sarah Cynthia Stout said. Curdled milk and crust of pie. And there. It cracked the window and blocked the door With bacon rinds and chicken bones. Crusts of black burned buttered toast. But children. Drippy ends of ice cream cones. dried-up mustard. It raised the roof it broke the wall… Greasy napkins. peach pits. Rubbery blubbery macaroni. Cellophane from green baloney. Poor Sarah met an awful fate. potato peelings. Eggshells mixed with lemon custard. And none of her friends would come to play. it was too late… The garbage reached across the state.

And when it is hailing and snowing You must shovel the walk… and be still when I talk. And develop a knack for scratching my back. And keep my shoes spotlessly shined. here‘s what you‘ll have to do: You must learn how to make a perfect chicken-dumpling stew.My Rules If you want to marry me. And while I rest you must rake up the leaves. And you must sew my holey socks. And soothe my troubled mind. And—hey—where are you going? .

Your hair is full of ants and purple weasels — APRIL FOOL! . Oh have you heard the President has measles? The principal has just burned down the school.Oh Have You Heard Oh have you heard it‘s time for vaccinations? I think someone put salt into your tea. They‘re giving us eleven-month vacations. And Florida has sunk into the sea.

―Throw confetti. The guests have all left (unless they‘re all buried).Spaghetti Spaghetti. spaghetti.‖ I said. Filling the bathtub and covering the desk. Over the carpet and under the chairs.‖ I guess they heard wrong ‗Cause they all threw spaghetti! . Making the sofa a mad mushy mess. I told them. The party is ruined. I‘m terribly worried. Into the hammock and wound round the stairs. ―Bring presents. all over the place. Up to my elbows—up to my face.

The Battle Would you like to hear Of the terrible night When I bravely fought the— No? All right. .

I shouted ―Stop. it was sixteen years ago. The snow may fall. Where the weeds and mudglumps grow. The snow may melt. The grass may grow— The Yipiyuk will not let go. I drag him ‗round each place I go. Yes. . I whispered to him soft and low— The Yipiyuk would not let go.The Yipiyuk In the swamplands long ago. A Yipiyuk bit on my toe… Exactly why I do not know. I kicked and cried And hollered ―Oh‖— The Yipiyuk would not let go. The Yipiyuk still won‘t let go. This Yipiyuk that won‘t let go.‖ ―Desist‖ and ―Whoa‖— The Yipiyuk would not let go. And now my child at last you know Exactly why I walk so slow. The winds may blow— The Yipiyuk will not let go.

My baby brother ran away. Oh what a day.What a Day What a day. I‘m eight years old And turning grey. And now my tuba will not play. Oh what a day. Oh what a day. .

‖ Someone ate the baby.Dreadful Someone ate the baby. ―That‘s the way it goes. The policemen haven‘t got a clue. What a frightful thing to eat! Someone ate the baby Though she wasn‘t very sweet. . We‘ll never hear her asking ―Why?‖ Someone ate the baby. We‘ll never have to wipe her nose. We‘ll never hear her whiney cry Or have to feel if she is dry. It was a heartless thing to do. Someone ate the baby. It‘s rather sad to say. I simply can‘t imagine who Would go and (burp) eat the baby. We‘ll give away her toys and clothes. It‘s absolutely clear Someone ate the baby ‗Cause the baby isn‘t here. Someone ate the baby. Dad says. Someone ate the baby So she won‘t be out to play.

And everything‘s jolly and gay? There‘s no one unhappy in Happy. I have been to The Land of Happy— What a bore! . Where everyone‘s happy all day.The Land of Happy Have you been to The Land of Happy. There‘s laughter and smiles galore. Where they joke and they sing Of the happiest things.

―It‘s time you knowed The word is ‗grew‘ instead of ‗growed‘ ‖ . I growed another head.‖ Teacher said.Chester Chester came to school and said. ―Durn.

Afraid of the Dark I‘m Reginald Clark. I‘m Reginald Clark. And my teddy to hug. Two prayers. And my blanket to rub. And three bedtime stories. I‘m afraid of he dark So I always insist on the light on. And my thumby to suck or to bite on. . and five hugs from my mommy. I‘m afraid from the dark So please do not close this book on me. Two trips to the toilet.

out poped the plug and sloosh-swoosh and glug-glug it washed the Skinny right down the drain out of sight.Skinny Skinny McGuinn was so terribly thin that while taking his bath Sunday night. And where is our dear Skinny bathing tonight? In some underground pool down below? Or up there so high in the tub in the sky where all of the clean people go. .

So I‘m staying in here where it‘s safe and it‘s warm. But I will not hatch.I Won’t Hatch Oh I am a chickie who lives in an egg. I will not hatch. the roosters all beg. For I hear all the talk of pollution and war As the people all shout and the airplanes roar. The hens they all cackle. And I WILL NOT HATCH! . I will not hatch. But I will not hatch.

Farewell—and I hope you enjoy me with crackers. Not a bone or and bean or a black-eyed pea. You gobblers and snackers. I‘ll sing while I simmer. So I‘ll just climb in the pot to see If I can make a stew out of me. I‘ll stir me around with this big wooden spoon And serve myself up at a quarter to noon.Me-Stew I have nothing to put in my stew. I‘ll put in some pepper and salt and I‘ll sit In the bubbling water—I won‘t scream a bit. I‘ll smile while I‘m stewing. So bring out your stew bowls. I‘ll taste myself often to see how I‘m doing. you see. .

Related Interests