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I am standing in a large pool of water holding a glass of lemonade with square ice cubes that every so oen hit the side of the glass clink clink clink clink when I am shaken by the waves You are banal there I said it Your face is banal but I thought better of you for your face If I said when the waves hit me they rushed up inside of me sprouting little wave hands and made me come would you think better of me then would you know me then I will take place settings and set up a nice meal for myself and then I will walk around in the water and I will let the rain dampen and ruin my hair because who cares about grace is beam of light we are all in oh this small light, this light that we think we t inside ere is no hiding anymore inside of the light ere are slits all over this body this body that limits me Limits my perfection that would otherwise exist so plainly Shocked I always am Shocked I always

will be Hemingway said do not fear death well look at me, you big man, look at me all you big men, look at me in the water with my glass Crisp I like what is crisp Anything with an edge and knife peaked Anything salty Tongues I like tongues Your body is so sharp like a corner like an angle like so many lines Once I jammed my pinkie on your collarbone and you laughed and pinched the fat around my belly e fat that holds it all for me Where do you put things? I just said all this to make you come Whoever comes rst is the loser ready set go I have turned into a wild animal in this water I have turned away from the sun My teeth are small smudged windows Would you like to touch them I like ngers in my mouth up and around my teeth ere are dead sh everywhere I have eaten them all I keep them in my here belly All of my appliances are breaking all of my machines ey are all sick, have these viruses It is because watch me sacrice anything for art What is the shape of me you are holding between your ngertips Which part did you break o, which teethy salty part?

Tell the enemy No Tell the enemy your face is covered in white rabbit fur with small black shiing eyes Tell the enemy you are art and you are standing on all the ground that is subtle and sweet Tell the enemy you nally remember ere are these words and there are ickering lights of death and there are people who look like the stars and there is nothing else You tiny animal of rabbit You small water of shark Look at this one piece of bloated water, this one fat wishbone of water all the swans in the world are ghting over until they twist their own necks o Tell the enemy Yes Tell the enemy you have no friends anyway Tell the enemy you know the enemy is the machinery of life Tell the enemy you will be crushing You shining great of man You huge idea of resume I will give all words back to you All worlds back to you And you will keep all of language warm inside of your machine e enemy is being the weirdest the

enemy has ever been in the enemy's life It is not showering and it is letting rust and dirt build up until it is meaner than before Tell the enemy it is all just salt and marrow Water and light e enemy will yawn dark dark dark while you tell me I am a woman hiding all of language in my woman beak Tell it you will not slip on its milky war Or else we will throw up our hands and let rot fall like snow on our tongues Look at a sky Any sky is will be a new place Look at my army of airplanes scratching at whatever sky you want


for my sister ere on the outside of bodies Out this window Blood does not bond Bodies do not matter ere where cars get bored and act out Bodies snap le and right Her body it snapped in many ways snap snap snap I want her blood to ll up my body I want our singular blood to cover mountains and oceans Children will bathe in our blood and the bond of blood will be worshiped When children touch their mothers breast When sisters touch each others esh It will be as if they are touching their own breast their own esh e children will be covered in our blood in the bond of blood in the smell of life Sisters will shine lights in each others mouths and see that it is their own mouth ey will spit in each others mouths and see that it is their own spit e mothers will not mind any of this because the mothers will love the bond of blood and the smell of life there on the inside of bodies


Well okay I will move to a new country then Not really I will just sit here and starve I am all battery acid and baby teeth all electric ese baby teeth! What a disability! To look at someone and just know how it is No one looks at me like that no one knows I dont think its out there I deserve a GOD and no GODS are out there I wonder though how can anyone love me with all this spit in my mouth Do it over and over until like a steady heartbeat it is nally a part of you or nally apart from you I have many blurry homes inside of me I furrow my brow because I come from a long line of disease Many one armed little tigers Well rise up then little one armed tiger! Where is your vanished arm? In the sea? Mopping the dirt o a oor somewhere and eating it? Oh well forget it you diseased thing I will not stand for this! Pick it up and toss it out the window is is what a letter looks like Dear little one armed tiger please do come

visit New York but please do not stay unless you can learn to stop shedding all over all of our nice things which of course you will never learn to do since shedding and shitting all over is a very visceral part of you Just rise up then little disease! e problem is there will always be so many problems e problem is I cannot decide which object I want to be ere I go being dramatic again ere I go wandering around the forest again ere I go being a mess on the streets again ere I go paying for sex and abuse again ere I go throwing dirt at the beautiful people again and I dont mean to destroy so much with my one arm I just do I want them all to be like cracked ducks in a backyard pool or uncooked eggs in my hands Give me pieces of shiny dark metal I will become all shine all dark metal and I will blacken the forest with one look alone ere is a slight hum that always comes from the forest oor from some part of dirt and only certain members of the forest can hear it Others dont ever know what they are even walking on Imagine all that is concrete now all that is abstract now t your body there So much of the world is found there Rise up little

disease Sometimes you can see the rain Squint your eyes and its visible ough it just looks like static from here


I am alone for real for real can you believe it I do not use we because I do not believe in it You and I drank until I dragged your husky and howling body across dirty carpet in front of our friends See how now the world is rouged A cut that exists in all places A wound everywhere a wounded everywhere what matters what is matter Notice things Notice the small breath that crawls from my mouth that settles on the tip of what we call skin Notice my lungs how they are full of wasps Notice the prism Notice the muscle and marrow Notice the animal that is somewhere half covered in crooked light Notice the swelling Notice the space is now water For real for real can you believe it is sleep hushed and fevered


Immediately a sh covered in turmoil All the milk that has been poured into every glass has spoiled Do not drink the milk Its not like there are sh in the milk but still do not drink the milk e blueness everywhere is quivering My organs they hurt for the world


inspired by certain text in Hemingways A Moveable Feast

ere are all these tests and articial horses but do not be disabled Being with the beasts you cannot aord to lose is the only way By anyones measurement I am in dire and constant poverty but there are still these such small economies Anyway when you are 25 and a natural depressive skipping a meal or losing a game can send you tumbling over whatever edge you happen to be irting with Who knew I would want to talk about these animals all day these horses Who knew you could not dilute everything and still receive half its message Who knows what birth smells like I am an insect Sleek and beautifully built and by that I mean Wild and all aame You think I am just a dark and restless little girl Well excuse me I was only trying to speak to you I am in love with anything that always has a dirtiness to it My bed

makes everyone the same and when I understand this they all will mean nothing to me All the dirty bodies will be so sad and silly Let us nd what is constant and insert poetic value into that and that alone e moment I thought I was probably a whore I was not shocked at all by this Perhaps every change causes harm Perhaps it all holds within it destruction and fractures Perhaps who knows what is true When I was on the train I kept telling myself You are returning from the war You are returning from the war So serious My idea of serious is touching myself on the living room couch with black owers scattered about Toothless jaws are everywhere do not be alarmed ey have just been eating re all evening I am so easily oended With all the better looking people drinking and making love Meanwhile I worry about dying from congestion of the lungs is is a truly sad story such intimate harm If I knew the right place believe me I would put my heart there