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Here is my problem with the ten commandments- why exactly are there 10?

You simply do not need ten. The list of ten commandments was artificially and de liberately inflated to get it up to ten. Here's what happened: About 5,000 years ago a o try to figure out how e were basically stupid nced that God had given s around. bunch of religious and political hustlers got together t to control people and keep them in line. They knew peopl and would believe anything they were told, so they annou them some commandments, up on a mountain, when no one wa

Well let me ask you this- when they were making this shit up, why did they pick 10? Why not 9 or 11? I'll tell you why- because 10 sound official. Ten sounds im portant! Ten is the basis for the decimal system, it's a decade, it's a psycholo gically satisfying number (the top ten, the ten most wanted, the ten best dresse d). So having ten commandments was really a marketing decision! It is clearly a bullshit list. It's a political document artificially inflated to sell better. I will now show you how you can reduce the number of commandments and come up wit h a list that's a little more workable and logical. I am going to use the Roman Catholic version because those were the ones I was taught as a little boy. Let's start with the first three: I AM THE LORD THY GOD THOU SHALT NOT HAVE STRANGE GODS BEFORE ME THOU SHALT NOT TAKE THE NAME OF THE LORD THY GOD IN VAIN THOU SHALT KEEP HOLY THE SABBATH Right off the bat the first three are pure bullshit. Sabbath day? Lord's name? s trange gods? Spooky language! Designed to scare and control primitive people. In no way does superstitious nonsense like this apply to the lives of intelligent civilized humans in the 21st century. So now we're down to 7. Next: HONOR THY FATHER AND MOTHER Obedience, respect for authority. Just another name for controlling people. The truth is that obedience and respect shouldn't be automatic. They should be earne d and based on the parent's performance. Some parents deserve respect, but most of them don't, period. You're down to six. Now in the interest of logic, something religion is very uncomfortable with, we' re going to jump around the list a little bit. THOU SHALT NOT STEAL THOU SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS Stealing and lying. Well actually, these two both prohibit the same kind of beha vior- dishonesty. So you don't really need two you combine them and call the com mandment "thou shalt not be dishonest". And suddenly you're down to 5. And as long as we're combining I have two others that belong together: THOU SHALT NOT COMMIT ADULTRY THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR'S WIFE Once again, these two prohibit the same type of behavior. In this case it is mar

Kashmir. The difference is. the Inquisitio n. unless of course they pray to a different invisible man than you. so leave it alone. But when you think about it. Moses could have carried them down the hill in his fuckin' pocket. & Thou shalt try real hard not to kill anyone. All you have to do is look at Northern Ireland. you could combine the two honesty commandments with th e two fidelity commandments and give them simpler language. religion has never really had a big problem with murder. with all of this in mind. the more they see murde r as being negotiable. positive language in stead of negative language and call the whole thing "thou shalt always be honest and faithful" and we're down to 3. as long as they provided one additional commandment: Thou shalt keep thy religion to thyself.ital infidelity. But when you think about it.George Carlin . honesty and fidelity are really part of the same ov erall value so. I wouldn't mind those folks in Alabama posting them on the courthouse wa ll. and the World Trade Center to see how seriously the religious f olks take thou shalt not kill. But I don' t think you should outlaw fantasizing about someone else's wife because what is a guy gonna think about when he's waxing his carrot? But. marital fidelity is a good idea so we're gonna keep this one and call it "thou shalt not be unfaithful ". You thro w out coveting and you're down to 2 now.the big honesty and fidelity commandmen t and the one we haven't talked about yet: THOU SHALT NOT KILL Murder. the Crusades.. in truth.coveting takes place in the mind. Two is all you need. It depends on who's doin the killin' and who's gettin' ki lled. The more devout they are. So. Coveting your neighbor's goods is what ke eps the economy going! Your neighbor gets a vibrator that plays "o come o ye fai thful". I give you my revised list of the two comman dments: Thou shalt always be honest and faithful to the provider of thy nookie. More people have been killed in the name of god than for any other reason. and you want one too! Coveting creates jobs. THOU SHALT NOT COVET THY NEIGHBOR"S GOODS This one is just plain fuckin' stupid. And suddenly we're down to four.