© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Here are some thoughts and sayings I posted on Twitter and/or Facebook from October 2012 to April 2013. To my knowledge, I made these sayings up or put a new twist on an old saying. Please sit back, relax, and enjoy the write! If you can figure out what they all mean, you’re doing better than me.

April 2013
Encouraging Words Silver linings are worth their weight in gold. Twisted Words I learned my principals in school.

Misery loves company. Care to join me?

Springtime is when the trees leave.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. In Its Own Write Releasing a book is like opening the dam floodgates. May it overflow but not overwhelm. Random Musings Crossing the road is no laughing matter to a chicken.

Holidays & Events It's probably a good time to postpone that vacation to North Korea.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

March 2013
Encouraging Words I aim to confuse so you don’t have to. Exercising your mind is better than food for thought.

A smile is what happens when something inside comes out.

When brilliance strikes, fight back.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Twisted Words Cleaning windows is such a pane, but I want them to look smashing. In Its Own Write Wouldn’t it be nice if someone wrote fillin-the-blank stories we could buy and turn into our own books?

I’m always getting into travel on the road.

Twice upon a time, there was a story and a knock-off.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

Holidays & Events I filled out my brackets for March Madness. The Vatican Conclave is my top seed with the North Korea Nukes as potential spoiler. The Venezuela Chavistas should go far with Nicolas Maduro at center while the Washington Sequesters could bow out early. Ides don’t know what Ides gonna do on March 15.

I’m happy to be Irish for a pot of gold. Okay then, how about a pint?

Happy International Women’s Day! Enjoy your day off.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events Happy Sequester Day. Where are you hiding? Random Musings I’m like an onion. Peel away some layers and I’ll make you cry.

Wouldn’t it be nice if advertisements featured what we wanted to buy rather than something to be sold?

February 2013
Encouraging Words Everything I need is right here. Why would I ever travel? Time slows down whenever I exercise, so I replaced my chair with a treadmill.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Twisted Words If you think sophomoric humor is annoying, try freshmanic. In Its Own Write My book is so spooky, it’s paraabnormal.

To air is human, to give forth, sublime.

Where are all the pre-apocalyptic stories?

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events The award for best actor should go to the guy who’s home sick watching the Oscars. Oh, sorry, I thought you said today was Vampire's Day.

It’s the 21st Century. Time to rename the Grammys the MP3ys.

The glow from the computer screen makes you look absolutely radiant. Happy Valentine’s Day!

I tried to think of something that rhymes with "Pope," but nope.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events In this year’s Super Bowl, “MVP” stands for “Most Valuable Power.” Random Musings Happy Chinese New Year After the Dragon Year!

The Milk breaks two Blueberry tackles for a touchdown in the Super Bowl.

Times change. Someday Justin Bieber will be in the Rock n’ Roll Hall of Fame.

Retweet this if you want more Twitter followers! Well, at least one.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

January 2013
Encouraging Words Once you go off the beaten track, you never go back. I feel de spare whenever I see my belly in the mirror.

I’m like a shoe looking for its soul.

I didn’t want to shovel snow, so I glared at it until it melted.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

Twisted Words I can’t seem to keep that fly off the handle!

In Its Own Write I’m going back to my cave to write and bang out something.

Chickens recoop their losses when farmers take their eggs.

I have a hunch 2013 will be unlucky, so I skipped a year.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events American adoptive parents left out in the cold by Russia, take heart! Thousands of wealthy Frenchmen are eagerly waiting to be adopted. Random Musings :-) is the Chinese character for LOL.

This year’s hot French travel destination is Russia.

Would yesterday's masters succeed as contemporary artists?

How come 2013 doesn't look much different than last year? I thought everything would change. If you're selling Twitter followers, wouldn't it be easier to make money selling 1 for a dollar? This is the most important message you're going to read. Until the next one. -12-

© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

December 2012
Encouraging Words Humans need a charger so they can unplug and recharge their batteries. Twisted Words I didn’t want to mow the grass, so I told it to sod off.

A predator preys before meals.

I am chopped liver. I enjoy life in bits and pieces.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events News Flash! The paparazzi went to the hospital with sympathy pains following news of the Duchess of Cambridge’s pregnancy. In Its Own Write In the classic novel “Lord of the Files,” clerical workers fight to the death over who will dominate the office.

Middle Earth has a Hobbit of reappearing every decade.

I hope someone sends the Mayans a free 2013 calendar before theirs runs out.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events Some believe that a Mayan scribe ran out of ink on December 20. December 20 is 20-12-2012. Something tells me that this means something.

I wonder what will happen on December 21 when the Mayan calendar ends. I guess I’ll never…

This is a public announcement. The apocalypse has been postponed.

Wishing you a happy 12-12-12, the last repetitive date in your lifetime. The last repetitive date in your lifetime. The last repetitive date in your lifetime. It’s not the end of the world if nothing happens on December 21.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events Last year my vision was 20-12. May your vision in 2013 be better than mine. Random Musings What’s a meme? When I was young, we called it buzz.

I am exhausted from dealing with Taylor Swift’s relationship issues and breakups. I’m welcoming my in-laws with open arms and fingers crossed.

November 2012
Encouraging Words The same inputs can yield different results if you simply force them. A fish needs a bicycle to get from one place to another faster than on foot.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Encouraging Words I can’t think of anything to say. I guess I’ll use hand gestures. Twisted Words My sayings are so corny that I know one day I will reap what I sow.

Holidays & Events Spotted at a protest following the 2004 U.S. Election. I quit cold turkey for Thanksgiving.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events This Thanksgiving, be thankful you’re not a turkey. Oh, never mind. Happy Election Day! If you're not American, just tell a pollster how you’d vote if you could.

China announces its new leaders. Snow White is not among them.

In a goofy, Mickey Mouse deal, Disney buys LucasFilm. Coming soon: “Star Wars - The Musical,” “Star Wars on Ice,” and “Star Wars Episodes VII - to Infinity and Beyond.”

Random Musings Hasbro should make a Clue board game featuring blockbuster movies, people, places and things, where Harry Potter did it on Tatooine with a phaser or Spock did it at Hogwarts with a light saber. This morning my child went from tired to wired in 15 minutes. Get hundreds of new Twitter followers every day. Tweet good content.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Random Musings Omy - the symbol for methane on the Periodic Table. Why is a car a lemon and not a carrot?

October 2012
Encouraging Words I keep pressing on, but nothing sticks. I didn’t like the way the ball bounces, so I put up bumpers.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Encouraging Words Five of my senses are keeping up with me, but the sixth one is lagging behind. Twisted Words Time is a spyce.

In Its Own Write Many happy writeturns.

Holidays & Events Gaffer: A public figure who makes a gaffe.

Sandy decided to be Sue Storm for Halloween.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. Holidays & Events “Gee, you candidates gotta play nice or you’re gonna get a time out!” — Big Bird I wonder what Christopher Columbus did to celebrate Columbus Day.

Random Musings Why do we make time by not doing something? People change fast, but places evolve over time.

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© 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved.

Random Musings I got my Outlook calendar, contacts, and tasks on iPad by synching Google Apps with Outlook, uploading the data to Google Cloud, and then synching it with a thirdparty app on iPad. It’s easy and only takes a week to set up. I debated with myself over whether to watch the debates. Myself won, and I lost. Me looked on.

Images courtesy of Microsoft. M.G. Edwards is a writer of books and stories in the mystery, thriller and science fiction-fantasy genres. He also writes travel adventures. He is author of Kilimanjaro: One Man’s Quest to Go Over the Hill, a non-fiction account of his attempt to summit Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest mountain, and a short story collection called Real Dreams: Thirty Years of Short Stories. He also wrote and illustrated Alexander the Salamander and Ellie the Elephant, two books in the World Adventurers for Kids Series. His books are available in e-book and print from Amazon.com and other booksellers. Edwards graduated from the University of Washington with a master’s degree in China Studies and a Master of Business Administration. He lives in Bangkok, Thailand with his wife Jing and son Alex. For more books or stories by M.G. Edwards, visit his web site at www.mgedwards.com or his blog, World Adventurers. Contact him at me@mgedwards.com, on Facebook, on Google+, or @m_g_edwards on Twitter. © 2013 Brilliance Press. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be reproduced or transmitted without the written consent of the author. -22-