A trip to Princeton in 1995 to present a technical paper May 12, 1995 J. E. D.

Cline, 9800 D Topanga Cyn Blvd #118, Chatsworth, California Several people have expressed interest in hearing of my experience of presenting a space-related paper at the Space Studies Institute's twelfth conference on space manufacturing, held last week at Princeton University in New Jersey. So I am writing this description in two forms, a "trip quick" for those interested in just the facts, and a "trip slow" form for those interested in such things as hopes & disappointments and photos taken. The "TRIP QUICK" version, just the facts:  My lifelong hobby of conceptualizing space projects came to fruition early this month, when I attended the Space Studies Institute's Twelfth Conference on Space Manufacturing, at Princeton. I was one of 40 who presented a paper at the conference, probably the only one whohad never even been to such a conference before. It was a learning experience for me.... The title of my paper was "WetLaunch of Prefab Habitat Modules", one of the Transportation Session papers. Otherslater spoke of such things as robotics in space, teleoperated surgery, nanotechnology microscopic sized machines, the dangers and uses of asteroids, wireless transmission of electrical power, and legalaspects of space development.  My paper started with a brief abstract: "It is proposed here that atechnology be developed to build space modules which have a dual purpose, that of being both a prefabricated habitat segment and also temporarily being their own fuel tank during launch. Concurrently a re-useable unmanned winged engine control tug would be developed for the wet-launch of these modules, along with an additional flyback booster. This would provide a way to build economically a largediameter artificial gravity space habitat in LEO in which the majority of its structure would be built and emplaced prior to the first human presence there, reducing risk and cost. The toroidal space habitat would be built and assembled first on the ground in the form of the dual purpose modules, checked out, then disassembled and launched a segment at a time to the orbital site. Such wet launchenables the tank and launch vehicle structural mass to actually be part of the payload ...."  The "TRIP SLOW" version, for those interested in experiences:  A SUMMARY OF FORTUNES, FAILURES AND FEELINGS  Going to a distant conference to present a scientific paper, this wasthe first time I had done such a thing, never even having gone to such a conference before, so it was a novel experience for me. I did it as a volunteer, paying my own way (it cost me overall around $1000, asignificant portion of my net worth these days), generally feeling miserable the whole time (due to the lack of sleep and lack of a mate, still no woman in my life, and the trip/conference was not offering meopportunity to meet a woman to possibly become my mate), and struggling with the difficulties of traveling alone and fears of public speaking residual from childhood traumas. Summary feelings arethat I made a small but worthwhile contribution to humanity's potential opportunities in space, needing further effort from me; although my personal experience was generally very miserable.  CONSIDERING THE POSSIBILITY OF PRESENTING A SCIENTIFIC PAPER  I have been a member of the SSI for several years, as a space enthusiast, now considered a Senior Associate. SSI is the most technically oriented of the associations open to the public,supporting small scientific projects on their own without government support. When the conference was

announced, it was different from most in that it invited abstracts from all members, not just those withadvanced degrees or corportate scientific positions. Since I had been active in conceptualizing space projects as a hobby since about 1971, writing them for the GEnie computer network Space and Science Library since about 1988, and having contributed to several invitations for public's technical input in space-related compilations such as by the National COmmission on Space, I thought about attempting to submit an abstract for this event, too. However, there was a specific way toprepare the initial abstract from which presenters would be selected, and the paper itself later had to be submitted in "camera ready" form for publication, prior to the conference. I did not yet know therequired formats nor have the means to prepare camera-ready material.  WHY DO IT?  I also considered my motivation for going to such a conference so faraway, as it would be very expensive and probably thankless and uncomfortable, still having no woman as companion and mate. My decision to go was based on several things: perhaps I could meet awoman of similar interests during the trip or conference; my re-joining of the Unitarian Church here has produced much activity involving social activities including many brief moments of public speaking; and that at the church there were some little kids around, reminding me that kids need a chance for a more hopeful future.  MY PAPER'S ABSTRACT  The abstract needed to be a brief summary statement of the concept to be present at the conference. I wanted to talk of the concept which I have written on most since 1988, but suspected that it would be too unorthodox even for the SSI, since even space activists generallytreat such a concept derisively. Instead, since this was a very unfamiliar type of experience, and it would be a learned audience, I chose to talk about just an early step in the project, a step that would be useful even if my general concept for massive space colonization of the Clark Belt (geosynchronous earth orbit) by means of a kinetic-energy supported bridge structure circulating between earthsurface and the Clarke Belt, was not eventually done. I would present a way to build a prototype space colony of the type envisioned for over 40 years, but a way that used existing technology indifferent ways than presently done, so as to enable near-future construction of a true artificial gravity, 1000-person, space habitat so as to debug the myriad interactions between mechanical and living systems that would happen in a true artificial-gravity space colony.  NOT DONE ENTIRELY IN A SOCIAL VACUUM  My abstract, and subsequent paper I presented at the conference, was titled "Wet-Launch of Prefab Habitat Modules". An acquaintance from the ISSS (Institute for the Study of Systems Science) which I attend meetings, Louis Acheson, is a retired aerospace engineer, and heoffered to proofread and make useful comments about what I would write. He re-worded the initial paragraph quite well, and added an "insider" flavor to the writing which probably got the abstractaccepted for the conference. I mailed the abstract to SSI, still filled with misgivings about the possibility of having to actuallymake the long expensive trip and do public speaking. And later one lunchtime while at work, the PA system called me to the phone: it was Leik Myrabo of the Space Studies Institute, chair of theTransportation Session, advising me that my abstract had been accepted for presentation at the conference to be held early in May, 1995. I felt a mixture of excitement and foreboding about doing this task.  MY PAPER  My paper was limited to the use of "wet-launch" concepts for enabling the relatively safe, inexpensive, reliable construction of prototype space colonies in low earth orbit; although I also

alluded to the greater concept of using kinetic structures between earthsurface and the Clarke Belt to enable billions of people to live in artificial gravity space colonies ringing the Earth in the Clark Belt, 22,300 miles above the equator... a concept so "off-the-wall" that nobody yet responds to it at all.  EACH MODULE IS ITS OWN FUEL TANK DURING LAUNCH  "Wet-Launch" is the concept of building something to be launched intospace, built to also be its own fuel tank during its launch. It is said that the 1970's SpaceLab was going to be launched through such a technique, but instead was dry-launched when a Saturn V launch vehicle became available due to the cancellation of the last two moon landings of the Apollo project, freeing up the two massive launch vehicles already mostly built. The other Saturn V was used in the subsequentApollo-Soyuz docking in space, which contributed to the easing of relations between the USA and the USSR at the time. However, the concept has not yet been actually tried yet. Using a module of a spacehabitat as its own fuel tank during its launch seemed to me to be a way to use the fuel tank structural mass as a major part of the payload. Each module would be built for dual use, both as apre-equipped modular segment of a wheel-like space habitat, and for temporary use as its own fuel tank during its trip from the earth surface up to orbit. Re-useable rocket engine(s) would be temporarily attached to the module's underside during the launch & positioning to dock with earlier similar modules into a circle, to make the wheel-like structure in orbit. Those rocket engines would be builtinto enough airframe to be able to return to the launch site for use in launch of another module, like the Space Shuttle Orbiter now returns, and using much of the same technology. I guessed that even such an efficient launch would not be able to achieve "Single Stage to Orbit", I included in the concept another propulsion assist during launch, vaguely fulfilling the function of the strap-on boosters of the Space Shuttle, but this one would function only in the atmosphere, and would use conventional jet engines as are used on conventional aircraft today. This booster would be like a high-thrust jet fighter clamped onto the module during the takeoff part of the launch, and disconnect from the module while still in the atmosphere and fly back to the launch site to help launch the next module. This would bedesigned to serve as both a booster and an aircraft, and might be piloted. The re-useable rocket reaction engine module would be remote controlled, including being "teleoperated" from people on the groundduring the docking of each module in orbit. This would reduce risk of lives, and greatly reduce the launch weight, making larger modules possible. EMPLACING A 1000-PERSON ARTIFICIAL GRAVITY HABITAT IN ORBIT  It had been calculated long ago by others that a wheel-like, toroidal,space habitat needs to be at least 1 or 2 miles in diameter, to provide the same apparent weight inside the space habitat as on theearth's surface, while also avoiding much of the expected disorienting coroilis force effects in such a rotating home. Such "artificial gravity" is necessary, in my opinion, to live reasonably normal livesup there, and to enable the agricultural processes to use the same crops and livestock as is used on the earth surface. (This opinion is not shared by the current powerful space corporations, which proclaim freefall weightlessness as being the ideal way to live in space.) If each wet-launched module were 100 feet long, and 25 feet in diameter, it would take 219 of them to make a one-mile-diameter space habitat with a single diametrical spoke (the spoke is necessary to reach the center of rotation, to enable entering and exiting the rotating habitat without risking being flung off into space.) Thus it would take 219 successful launches and dockings to the habitat during its assembly, or 236 of them if it had a triangle of 3 spokes to its center of rotation. If 14 sets of booster and tugs were part of theproject, and an average of two successful launches per day were made, and no modules were lost during the process, it would take only about 5 months to launch and assemble in orbit. A lost module

would be replaced by modification of a generic module, and launched in an added orbital emplacement boost.  BUILD AND TEST IT IN THE GROUND FIRST  An essential part of the concept I proposed is the building of the complete wheel-like toroidal space habitat on the ground first. The modules would be connected together and lived in as a semi-closed residential/agricultural town, to debug everything first on the ground, where it is easier to change things than after it is in orbit. Then, when it as ready as possible, the people, livestock, crops, allthings which would not survive the extreme cold of the launch propellants would be removed, and bulkheads be bolted into place to seal the chambers to be filled with fuel and oxidizer to provide theenergy for the launch into space. The modules would be disconnected from each other, and moved over to the launch site one at a time, to be there connected to the engine tug and jet engine booster, filledwith fuel, and launched to the orbital construction site, where they would be re-connected to each other like they had been on the ground, in a circle a mile around, with two or three spokes into their center. When docking assembly is complete, all done before the first person arrives there in orbit, the Space Shuttle brings up the first of the people and fragile supplies, who install the safety cable compressing the entire structure, and who clean out the residual fuel and remove the bulkheads that separate the modules, and spin up the space habitat to provide the artificial gravity. Subsequent space shuttle flights bring up more people, seed for crops, livestock, and seedlings of trees, reconstituting the habitat much like it was originally on the ground.  MAKING THE CAMERA-READY SCIENTIFIC PAPER  Anyway, at the time I was advised that my abstract had been acceptedfor the conference, I had no way to make camera-ready printouts on my home computer. The place where I work, a small automotive electronics manufacturing plant, is very stingy, and does not allow creative homeprojects to be done there. So I sent for some shareware (test copies) of some possible software for my own computer at home, one of which called "EnVision Publisher" was able to provide the two column formatrequired by the AIAA publication standards which were required by the SSI publication. I taught myself how to use the publication software, and found a way to to do computer sketches using the DPAINT program, which I had not yet really taken the time to learn how to use either. My TurboCad program somehow had lost the ability to make drawings in various computer formats, although I remember I bought it because it supposedly had the ability to do so; it was useless now. I sent for aregistered version of EnVision Publisher, costing me $74, only fair since I was using it for my paper, and it would be nice to have for other things. Time was running out for mailing the completedcamera-ready paper to SSI. Once something happened that destroyed the EVP program and my paper as it was up till then, so I started with another copy of the program. The registered version of the EVP programarrived in the mail the evening before I had to mail the competed document, so after loading it into my computer, I did not have time to use its expanded font set for my paper. I took time off work to takemy completed paper to where my mailbox is in Chatsworth, since they are not open before I start work; it got mailed on time.  PREPARING FOR THE JOURNEY  The conference package from SSI gave suggested hotels and a travel agency phone number, enabling me to get airplane tickets and hotel reservations. I arranged with my boss at VSE, Dale Curtis, to take 3 days off work, May 3, 4 and 5, unpaid of course. (The way this companyhandles vacation time, is that the employee gets paid for a week -or two weeks in my case having worked there for 9 years and then if the employee takes vacation time off or gets sick, the money comes out ofthat 1 or 2

weeks pay... or the employee uses the money to pay for expenses, taking no real vacation. I only took off one week's vacation previously in the 9 years working there, the pay rate being so low.)The lock on my apartment's door fell apart one evening when I returned home after work; I had been trying for months to get the manager to replace the door lock since there had been a lot of things, documents, stolen out of my apartment, which apparently gets broken into quite regularly. Luckily I found a replacement lock the next weekend, installed it myself, gave a key to the manager. The door to my tinyone-room apartment is a sliding door of the type normally used for patio entrances; I think it was originally built for a daytime apartment manager's use, and the lock was an unusual kind for anentrance door. I worked Monday and Tuesday for VSE, then drove my car to the Flyaway parking lot in Van Nuys, rode the bus to Los Angeles International airport, boarded the Continental Boeing 757 airliner,flew non-stop to Newark Airport in New Jersey. Took some pictures of the desert canyons from the air enroute, but was dark when nearing the east coast so did not get pictures of it. I noted vast expanses of water below as we flew over the Great Lakes.  MY FAILURE TO MEET THE DESPERATELY NEEDED WOMAN  My only hoped-for reward for this whole thing was that I might be able to connect with a woman to form the desperatelyneeded relationship. The flight to Newark was my first such opportunity but no woman was assigned to the adjacent seat, so that opportunity was lost. Nor did I meet one on the Princeton Airporter shuttlebus, which cost an unexpected extra $19 each way to and from Princeton, where the conference was held. Nor did I find a woman at the motel, which served complimentary breakfasts. Nor did I meet a woman at the conference. By the time for the return flight, I was very discouraged, and sure enough, instead of a woman there was a man assigned to the seat next to me during the flight back to Los Angeles, so I sulked in despair the whole flight back.  AT THE PALMER INN  I stayed at the Palmer Inn, cheapest of the recommended hotels. It had a nice room, very lonely of course without a woman to share with, and had an electronic card-operated door lock which was interesting. The short, first night there was quiet; I was too exhausted to do theEdu-K exercises before my talk. The second night was noisy, a guy & gal were whooping it up in the next room, accentuating my awareness of my failure to find a woman for myself; and as I left the next morning, synchronized with my exit so did a dark-suited guy exit that room, giving me a knowing cunning grin as he did so. I walked to a nearby huge grocery-drug-store looking for castor oil, but they had none andlooked at me strangely when I asked for it. At the hotel, I finally figured out that if the "do not disturb" sign was put on the door, the maids wouldn't invade my room while I was gone. The last three morningsI went to the internal restaurant for a "complimentary continental breakfast, a serveyourself buffet of cereal, toast, coffee, etc. When checking out, the clerk let me keep the disposable card key as asouvenir. Each day a van load of conference participants was driven to Princeton University, where the conference was held.  HOLISTIC TOOLS TO HELP ME  I hoped that my holistic skills would offset my handicaps of social ineptitude and relative lack of formal education's keenness. Educational Kinesiology can give a temporary powerful boost to the thinking processes, but they took time to do in private. Rainforest concentrated nutrients, preserved in alcohol, would give me extra alertness and competency despite the exhausting stressful ordeal. And the new Resonance Balancing would possibly provide emergency repair if needed. However, I was too exhausted most of the time to use any of them except the Rainforest nutrients, which could be quickly downed in the form of several dropper-fulls of the stuff in a glass of waterupon awakening in the morning, and it helped greatly. One time I did some of the Edu-K exercises, and felt more aware for several hours afterward in the conference because of doing those exercises. 

I GIVE MY TALK  My paper was to be presented the morning of the first day of the conference. There were a couple of presentations made before mine was scheduled, and I soon realized that transparencies for overhead projections were required; I had none. During the morning break, I frantically asked re a copier, but none was available, so one of the coordinators and I took black marking pens and hand drewtransparencies from the drawings in my paper, very crude-looking compared to the other participant's projections, but served the purpose. My turn arrived, I walked down to the podium, gave my transparencies to Bruce Mackenzie who was operating the projector forme, apologized to the audience, and stumbled through the talk, partly reading from my paper, partly paraphrasing it, too exhausted from stress and lack of sleep for two days already to feel the fear ofpublic speaking. Time ran out before I was able to say the important final parts, and I began to hastily return to my seat when I realized that part of the process was to answer questions from the audience,hands were up in the air. I returned to the podium, pointed at one person with his hand raised, answered his question then several other people's questions, as best I could. They politely applauded as iscustomary, and I was done, returned to my seat high in the slopingComputer Science lecture hall.  EVIDENT HOSTILITY TOWARD MY CONCEPT A PUZZLE  Soon I realized that there were rival interests on hand; in fact, it was part of the conference process to have these rivalries. Having grown up alone, I never really learned a sense of competition, ofrivalry activities, and was almost incomprehensible to me: did we not have to work together to get space colonization going? The builders of free-fall space habitats were the primary rivals against my concept, especially one who had beautiful artwork showing artists' concepts ofa commercial free-fall module cluster built of modules designed for the Rockwell-Boeing's "International Space Station" to be built in a couple of years, and I felt struck by concealed hostile vibes from themain presenter of that concept. Such conflict is still a puzzle to me.  TRANSPORTATION SESSION LEADER WAS HELPFUL  The leader of the Transportation Session of which I was a part, Leik Myrabo of Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute, presented a concept of a small manned spacecraft which would be propelled into space through microwave power heating from a beam of microwaves aimed at it duringits launch. He also was staying at the same hotel I was, and once we had a breakfast talk together, and chatted some at the banquet later in the conference; he seemed helpful. MY HAND-OUT COPIES OF MY PAPER DISSAPPEAR  Near the end of the first day of the conference, I discovered it wascustomary to put out a stack of copies of one's paper; I originally had assumed that each would already have the printed book of everybody's papers, since they had to be received by SSI so long before the conference, but that book was not available. I had made some copies of my paper at Kinkos Kopies prior to the trip, so I put them out on the table late in the day, but the whole stack disappeared before most people could have seen them, apparently one person took them all ... a rival?  LUNCH TALKS, EVEN WITH RUSSIANS  Lunches were provided by SSI, held at the Third World Center building,normally a submarine

sandwich, can of soda, cookies, other munchies. One time at the lunch table I was at, I talked with the lady (married) who helped with my frantic artwork on the transparencies for my talk,she had been an art teacher in earlier years. Another day's lunch found me at the table with a Russian and his wife and an interpreter, he had designed the docking ring used in the Apollo-Soyuz event longago, and had designed the docking ring for the Space Shuttle mission soon to dock with the Russian Mir Space Station ... since docking rings are of major importance in the concept I am proposing, hepromised to look at my paper. His wife was very friendly, the interpreter said she was an engineering leader too. I had to go by feeling and the interpreters words, she could not speak english, andhe spoke English only with difficulty.  ASTEROIDS  Asteroids were the focus of the major paper presentations. Most of the asteroids are large rocks just beyond the orbit of the planet Mars, some are hundreds of miles in diameter, but some are in orbits that occasionally pass by our planet Earth. There is enough of the right materials in them to build space habitats aggregating 1,000 times the surface of the whole Earth. They were, on the other hand, a potential threat, since many of them have left scars on Earth's surface already,such as the Barringer crater in Arizona 5 miles across, and the Chixalube impact in the Yucatan Peninsula which is believed to have caused the extinction of much of life on earth including all thedinosaurs, when it hit our planet 65 million years ago. Techniques for discovering all the asteroids and projecting their paths in the future, and ways to prevent their destructive impact with Earth were presented at the conference. For example, it is not advisable to send a nuclear bomb to an asteroid in attempt to blow it up, because that would just have more scattered massive impacts and would also now be radioactive from the bomb. One of the most interesting ways was to use nanotechnology to send tiny pre-programmed molecular robots to the asteroids, have them use its material to build replicas of themselves,modify their program to have them re-assemble into the form of a spacecraft and fuel, and put itself in a new, non-threatening orbital path. The asteroidal material could then be re-configured to be usedfor building more space colonies for people to live in. Thus a terrible threat could be turned into great opportunity.  THE SATURDAY NIGHT BANQUET  The banquet Saturday night was held on the grounds of the Center forAdvanced Studies, home of several famous scientists in the past. Each attendee was given a colorful small pin as a momento from the Russian space program. I endured the banquet, not liking such things, andunfortunately being at the only table where it was all men.  THE JOURNEY BACK TO LOS ANGELES  I took pictures of buildings at Princeton University, and of some of the conference activities, including a demonstration of use of microwave beams to power a model helicopter's flight.  I retraced the path back to Newark Airport, riding the PrincetonAirporter shuttlebus, which left from Nassau Inn near the University. I was really discouraged about any hope of meeting a woman this trip,  and sure enough, they assigned some guy to sit next to me during the 5.5 hour non-stop flight back to Los Angeles. I did get some pictures during the flight on the 9-seat-wide L-1011; the pilot dipped the wing on takeoff just enough to let me get a glimpse of the Statue ofLiberty; he flew the plane well even though storms drove the plane clear into Canada partway. Seatbelts were required most of the time. But I was so angry at having no woman to talk with - and having toshrink in my seat to avoid getting jabbed more times from the guy's elbow -- there were plenty of women around in the plane who could have been assigned to sit next to me - that I did not eat or drinkrefreshments the

whole flight. As I sulked in loneliness, the pair of seats behind me further aggravated me, as the guy with the isle seat was talking much of the time, initially asking the woman boarding thenif she were assigned to the seat beside him (behind my seat), then he began a long rhythmic inane chatter at her, pausing occasionally to get a polite response from that cute young lady; her replies becameweaker and weaker, even sweet, then there were long pauses, and after a couple of hours' silence a stewardess came by them and said with an embarrased voice, "Are you two just married?" My lonely despair justinches away from that scene took on a new low. The plane finally decended through the clouds and smog to land at LAX; I found a place to catch the Flyaway bus back to Van Nuys; my car started easilydespite the car alarm blinking away for the previous 5 days drain on the battery, drove back to my tiny cluttered apartment, cooked myself the usual rice dinner and exhaustedly went to sleep long after midnight, alarm going off at 5 AM to return to work Monday morning at VSE, back in the world of a mere peon electronic technician again.  MY CHATSWORTH MAILBOX HAS AN EXPLANATION FOR MY MISERY  Going through my mail that evening, found another ad from Neo-Tech: "Neo-Tech is a knowledge that has nothing to do with positive thinking, religion, or anything mystical. Once a person is exposed to Neo-Tech, he can quietly profit from anyone - anywhere, anytime ... can automatically take control of most situations involving money and power and romantic love ... his hidden techniques let him win consistently and comfortably ... he can subjugate a business or personal adversary; he wins any lover at will. He is armed with an unbeatable weapon, can financially and emotionally control whomever he deals with ... all except the Neo-Tech man will die unfulfilled, without ever knowing wealth, power, and romantic love." Hmm, this ad reeks with a similarity to what difficulties I endured on this conference trip, even of the difficult years since my wife divoriced me in '72. I've known of them for years, and suspect that what they do really works for them. I wonder if my problems are all just of my social ineptitude; maybe these "Neo-Tech" people have been using their hidden manipulation skills to grab my share of the goodies of life.  LOOKING BACK AT THE EXPERIENCE  Looking back at my experience at the space conference, there seems tobe some room to hope for the vast resources of space to alleviate mankind's problems fast approaching. I need to establish communication with some of the attendees of the conference, especially through theE-Mail system. However, it would cost a lot to upgrade my home computer to use the World Wide Web communication system, which is the main communication path they use. There is reason to continue to write about my space transportation/colonization concepts, communicating themto others. ONWARD FROM THE MIRE OF THE PITS OF DISCOURAGEMENT AND BLAME  Life goes back to just "keeping on keeping on", toughing it out day byday, continuing to be without a woman to love. Something keeps interfering with my initial goal of establishing E-Mail contact with those I met at the conference, to keep the concept alive and perhaps to expand on the space program: the same harrasing "energies" were lacing my apartment before the trip and are even more intense now that I am back... Luddites?... Neo-Tech?... Industrial spies assisted by apsychic? Who could be so incredibly unwise as to deliberately interfere with my project so potentially important to hamanity's future? And I'm late for work doing technician work at VSE, rent and groceries need to be paid for somehow.  UPWARD 

Somehow I created the energy for these problems to be happening to me.The principle reflected in the sayings "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", "what goes around comes around", "karma means action cause-effect", "casting bread upon the waters", "reaping thatwhich you sowed" ... all say I inadvertently brought it all upon myself. To be sure, the environs had to be able to supply the effect, but I created the energy for it to happen to myself. So the key might be to sow the seeds of something more desireable to me. The human need for "drama" seems to be involved here. Since I do what is possible to avoid getting swept up in the widespread energy of shoving into one's face endless murders, trials, bombings, manhunts, slayings, via the news media and even fictional portrayals on TV; yet I still have a need for drama, appearantly. Emotional feeling, it must be experienced by humans, if not in daily life then at the crowds roarat the football game, the fear at the news reports of violence, of the violence portrayed on the screen. Emotional energy will be expressed somehow, even cold bloodedly vicariously enjoying the sports games asseen on TV. So my method has been this game of being victim of the nameless monsters, my struggle to invent ways to save humanity and myself with it, being dragged down by greedy invaders of my home andmy files and computer, my sleeping space bombarded with electro-acoustic deprecations, and blocked from the needed sexual loving relationship with woman by the same ugly-minded deprecatingthieving nameless monsters who are probably actually humans just like I am. Paraphrasing the old saying seems appropriate : "When you are up to your ass in alligators, it is hard to remember you came here to save the swamp." Yet, I must remember, I must remember.  Humanity has developed enormously, from the tribal energies not much better than those ruled by the herdbeasts of ancient ages. A few of us have left footprints on the moon, set cameras on mars, designed computers, developed healing pharmaceuticals, created empathic healing energies, built bridges, the nightly love of man to woman so passionately brilliant, the transcribing passage of collected knowledge from generation to generations unborn. And it may yet be possible to build cities in space near here, move most of humanity's abundant population to them to start an incredibly vast civilization using solar system abundant resources, and restore earth's ecosystem to worldwide lush diverse splendors for us to cherish and sample.  And, for reasons unclear to me now, I have been given a lifelong interest aimed in that direction, and an unusual mental quirk that enables an assembly of concepts which most others do not do. Apparently I am to play a "bit part" in this greater human drama. Instead of shirking my duty by complaining of impediments, I can choose to do what assembly I can do, assembly of some available parts of this wonderful option still perhaps open to mankind and most of the other earth life forms. So I can expand upon my "Wet-Launch..." paper presented at the SSI conference. I can bring in more pieces of the kinetic structures concepts, modelmaking components on many levels. While the great learned institutions and powerful corporations havethe manpower and resources to do this far better than I can while just struggling to survive day by day in the mateless poverty bracket, clearly they are unable to do it because clearly they are not yetdoing it. I need to show them the way, until they can do it for themselves. Like a "scout", going ahead a little ways to observe the terrain, then returning to show a better possible path than mereego-driven hunter-gathering wandering; then going back out into the incompletely known terrain again ... it can be a lonely, dangerous, thankless task, but if the scout does not do it, then the whole massmust do it together blindly, and thus as in the drunk's walk around the lightpost, not be able to go far from the starting point despite raucous rampaging around. I am as a scout, one of a few who know thatit may yet be possible to build cities in space near here, move most of humanity's abundant population to them to start an incredibly vast civilization using solar system abundant resources, and restore earth's ecosystem to worldwide lush diverse splendors for us to cherish and sample for magnification in that vast space civilization.  

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