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An Engineers Guideline To Hitting On Girls
¤¤WARNING¤WARNING¤WARNING¤WARNING¤WARNING¤WARING¤WARNING¤¤ ¤¤ ¤¤THIS THEORY ONLY PREDICTS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO AT THE PRESENT TIME AND DOES NOT SAY ANYTHING ABOUT WHAT YOU MAY THINK WHEN YOU SOBER UP¤¤
By: Cameron Parkes
The PMacing Inequality Theory:
Have you ever wondered if it is in your best interest to hit on a girl or not? This determination is actually much simpler than one may think. All that is required is to evaluate .
Urban dictionary defines Pmacing as the act of “macing on girls until they get so annoyed and date you just to get you to shut up”. At this time it is important to distinguish between a beneficial situation and a desirable situation. A desirable situation is one that you would want if you were sober. In order to determine your benefit a cost benefit ratio must be applied. Benefit is defined as:
eqn. 1
is defined as: ( ) ( ) ( ) eqn. 2
– The Drunk Index: It is a measure of how drunk you are and is defined as: eqn. 3 ( – The Hot Index: It is a measure of how desirable a girl is to you and is defined as: eqn. 4 ( ) )
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– The Wanting Index: It is a measure of how desperate you are and is defined as: eqn. 5 ( )
Mathematically
can range to a value of 3 but logically this is , rendering you unable to act.
impossible. The reason being that you pass out when
is a sum of indices. The result of this is that the choice of units is arbitrary. The only restriction is that the system of units remains consistent. The theoretical maxima are unique to each individual and must be determined experimentally. The key to determining your theoretical maxima is to evaluate the 1) When 2) When . . (eqn. 6) at the two .
Explained in the “Procedure to Determine Your Theoretical Maxima” section.
Ways to Alter Your Situation:
There are three options available to alter your indices that will drive a more beneficial outcome. [( 1) ) ( ) ( ) ] [( ) ( ) ( ) ] and bring to
increases with time. Letting time go by will increase
closer to an outcome where it is in your best interest to act. Unfortunately there is no way to lower your other than achieving success, getting laid.
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The PMacing Inequality
2) can be increased by switching girls. Other than an extreme time gaps this is the only way to increase . Increasing will drive closer to an outcome
where it is in your best interest to act.
3)
can be increased by drinking more. Drinking more will make up for deficiencies in the other indices and drive interest to act. is the easiest index to alter. closer to an outcome where it is in your best
Any of the three options or any combination of the three will drive towards more beneficial outcomes.
Possible Outcomes Of
:
There are three possible cases: 1) ( ) ( ) ( )

It is not in your best interest to hit on this girl at the present time. There are three options available to you that will drive more beneficial outcome. to a

Any of the three options or any combination of the three will drive to a more beneficial outcome.
2) (
)
(
)
(
)

This is the
.
Any combination of indices that sum to one will lead to equilibrium. At equilibrium it is no more beneficial to hit on the girl than it is to do nothing. Any of the three options or any combination of the three will drive to a more beneficial outcome.
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The PMacing Inequality
3)
(
)
(
)
(
)

It is in your best interest to hit on this girl at the present time. No alterations need to be made. ITS GO TIME!!!
The Continuity Equation:
The The is a measure of how a girl’s desirability to you has changed with time. is defined as:
(
)
(
)
(
)
eqn. 6
Since drunkness, hotness and desperation are all state functions and are not path dependant it is sufficient to say:
(
– Your drunkness at time i.
)
eqn. 7
– Your theoretical maximum drunk.
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(
– Her hotness at time i.
)
eqn. 8
– Your theoretical maximum hot girl.
(
)
eqn. 9
– Desperation level at time i. – Your theoretical maximum desperation level.
This is convenient because the way the parameters vary with time is most likely a nonlinear second order differential equation. Such equations would render the computers. solvable only by
Procedure to Determine Your Theoretical Maxima:
1) In reduced to: ( ) ( ) eqn.10 one . This is achieved by getting laid. The result is that eqn. 6 is
2) Go out and get drunk. Throughout the night make measurements of how drunk you are and how hot a particular girl is at regular time intervals. 3) Plot hotness Vs drunkness on an scatter plot and fit a linear regression line to the data.
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8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 0 0 5 10 Drunkness 15
Hotness
Hotness Vs Drunkness

The yintercept is a measure of a girl’s base hotness. That is to say, how hot she is to you when and .

The equation of the slope is:
eqn. 11
4) To determine your maximum theoretical drunk you need to drink until you pass out. Rearranging eqn. 11 and solving for :
eqn. 12
5) In
two
. This is achieved by secluding yourself in a location with zero
girls and zero images of girls. By doing so eqn. 6 reduces to:
(
)
(
)
eqn. 13
6) Get drunk and throughout the night make measurements of how drunk you are and desperate you are at regular time intervals. 7) Plot desperation Vs drunkness on an scatter plot and fit a linear regression line to the data.
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8 7 6 Desperation 5 4 3 2 1 0 0 5 10 Drunkness 15 Desperation Vs Drunkness

The yintercept is a measure of your base desperation level. That is to say, how desperate you are when and .

The equation of the slope is:
eqn. 14
Rearranging eqn. 14 and solving for
: eqn. 15
Now that the theoretical maxima have been determined put into action.
is ready to be
In Cartesian Coordinates:
Any outcome of is just one of an infinite number of combinations of
the three indices that sum to the same value. This being said, any outcome of is one location on a sphere known as an thepmacinginequality@hotmail.com . In this discussion Page 7
The PMacing Inequality
we will consider the where sums to one. At
equilibrium it is no more beneficial to act as it is not to act. In mathematics this is known as the unit sphere.

. The convention is is plotted along the axis, is plotted along the axis and is
plotted along the axis. The center is located at: ( Anywhere inside the Anywhere outside the If the evaluation of you are outside the thepmacinginequality@hotmail.com . Page 8 ) ( ) ( )
is not a beneficial situation to act. is a beneficial situation to act. results in a number greater than one,
The PMacing Inequality
The value of beneficial sphere. The radius is defined as: can be expressed in vector form as the radius of the equi
̂
̂
̂
eqn. 16
̂
[ ]
eqn. 17
̂
[ ]
eqn. 18
̂
[ ]
eqn. 19
The radius has a length equal to the outcome of
:
√(
)
(
)
(
)
eqn. 20
In Spherical Coordinates:
Any position on an ( position on the equibeneficial surface ( ( ) measured from the the expressed in terms of Cartesian coordinates ). In spherical coordinates the ) is defined as a distance from the origin ( ), a polar angle
) can also be expressed in terms spherical coordinates (
 axis and an azimuth angle ( ) of the polar angles orthogonal projection on  axis.
plane that passes through the origin and is orthogonal to the
(
)⇔(
)
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The radius is always defined as positive: The polar angle is called the inclination and ranges between The Azimuth angle ranges between
Converting Between Cartesian And Spherical Coordinates:
It is easier to describe your location on an coordinates. In spherical coordinates the magnitude of directly in the coordinates. In order to express and apply a rotation in spherical , , is expressed in spherical coordinates
we require a method of converting from Cartesian coordinates to spherical coordinates and back again. ( )⇔( )
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Going from Cartesian to Spherical:
( √( ) ( ) (
) )
(
) eqn. 21 eqn. 22
√(
)
(
)
(
)
eqn. 23
Going from Spherical to Cartesian:
(
)
(
) eqn. 24 eqn. 25 eqn. 26
Moving Along An EquiBeneficial Surface:
One can move from one spot on an . The where is the situation on the to another, namely the
is maximum. That is to say to go from one situation to another situation of equal benefit but
of a more desirable nature.
(
)
(
)
(
)
(
) Page 11
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In Cartesian coordinates this is achieved by rotating the sphere about the about the  axis by an angle ( ) and about the  axis by an angle ( ),
 axis by an angle ( ). Applying a rotation matrix for
each operation to your situation will move you to another situation of equal benefit. Applying the will rotate you to the . In Cartesian coordinates the sequence
of operations is essential and must be carried out in a particular order.
[
]
[
]
eqn. 27
[
]
eqn. 28
[
]
eqn. 29
[
]
eqn. 30
The values of the new indices can be calculated from the values of the old indices and applying the rotation matrices. The values of the new indices are:
   ( ) ( ) ( ) eqn. 31



(
)
(
)
(
) eqn.32



(
)
(
)
(
)
eqn. 33

Since a negative value for any index is impossible any negative value obtained by the rotation will be taken as a magnitude and the absolute value will be applied to the new situation
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In spherical coordinates the motion along the
is achieved by adding or
subtraction to the inclination angle ( ) and the azimuth angle ( ). There is no alteration to the radius ( ). The benefits of spherical coordinates are that the rotation is easy to see, the sequence of operations is arbitrary and the operation involves matrix addition instead of matrix multiplication.
[ ]
[ ]
[
]
eqn. 34
How To Use
:
When you see a girl and you need to make a decision on whether or not you should hit on her all you have to do is evaluate .
1) Make quick measurements of drunk you are, how hot she is and how desperate you are. 2) Divide each measurement by its respective, previously determined, theoretical maxima to determine your , and .
3) Sum the squares of the indices together to determine the result of . 4) Determine if the situation is beneficial to you. 5) If the situation is not beneficial apply one of the three options or combination of the three to make our situation more beneficial. 6) If the situation is beneficial convert 7) Locate your position on the 8) Apply the maximize her hotness. . to rotate your situation to the . This will to spherical coordinates.
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Example: We would like to move along the the . On the . Situation 1 is where number of situations where from situation 1 to situation 2, namely the . Situation 2 is where is where . There are an infinite
√
. We will consider the situation where
and
√
.
Both situation 1 and situation 2 are of equal benefit to us but situation 2 is the most desirable situation on the . It is more desirable because the girl is much hotter. In
mathematical notation the rotation to the premium plane is written as: ( ) ( ) ( √ ) ( ) followed by a rotation about axis by an angle . In
√
This represents a rotation about the the axis by an angle
axis by an angle
and finally a rotation about the
this scenario the rotation matrices B, C and D are equal to:
[
]
[
]
[
] [ [ ] [
√ √
√ √ ] ]
The resulting rotation that takes you from situation 1 to the premium situation is expressed as:
[
]
[
]
[ ]
[
] [
√ √
√ √ ]
[
]
√ [√ ]
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In Spherical coordinates situation 1 has coordinates: the , has coordinates: , , and and . Situation 2, . In mathematical is expressed
notation the rotation that takes you from situation 1 to the as: ( ) ( ) ( ) ( )
[ ]
[ ]
[
]
[
]
[
]
[
]
Determining If A Situation Has Changed with Time:
In order to determine if a situation is more or less beneficial over a period of time the (eqn. 6) needs to be evaluated. There are three possible outcomes: 1) ( ) ( ) ( )

The situation has become less beneficial over the given time period. Use any combination of the options to make your situation more beneficial.
2)
(
)
(
)
(
)

The situation has not changed over the given time period. Use any combination of the options to make your situation more beneficial.
3)
(
)
(
)
(
)

The situation has become more beneficial over the given time period. No action is required. What are you waiting for?
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Scaling
In order to move to a new
:
specific to a certain girl, or in other words scale , net “energy” needs to be either taken from or given to the situation.
This is described by the [( ) ( ) ( ) ] [( ) (
: ) ( ) ] eqn. 35
To scale situation.
up net “energy” needs to be transferred into the

To scale situation.
down net “energy” needs to be removed from the
Eqn. 35 can be rearranged to give:
[(
)
(
) ]
[(
)
(
) ]
[(
)
(
) ]
eqn. 36
Since
changes very slowly with time and we are only concerned with short time periods we can make
the following assumption: [( ) ( ) ] eqn. 37
With this assumption eqn. 36 reduces to: [( ) ( ) ] [( ) ( ) ] eqn. 38
In short time frames such as the course of an evening we can make one more assumption: [( ) ( ) ] [( ) ( ) ] eqn. 39
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With this assumption eqn. 38 reduces to: [( ) ( ) ] eqn. 40
From these assumptions and eqn. 40 the conclusion is that over short time periods one can only go from one to another by either drinking more or sobering up. Therefore, in order
to better your situation with a particular girl over short time periods you need to:
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DRINK MORE!!!!!
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