An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. emotions and perceptions. As I said before.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. . This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. feelings. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. neuro pathways. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. when given the proper instructions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you.

..................... ..................................................................................... C.................................................................................................................................... ANGER.........3 AFFIRMATIONS...............15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ..................................8 CHANGE....................... ANXIETY...........42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE .........32 EMOTIONS.....................43 GOALS .........................................................................................................................40 FOCUS ...................................1 ADDICTION ........................................... BEREAVEMENT ......................8 BEREAVEMENT ............. G...29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ....................35 FABULOUS..... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ............................................................. FOCUS...........1 ABUNDANCE ................................................ F........TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE...................... E.......... AFFIRMATIONS.........32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).......................................37 FEAR .............................................................. FEAR............. FORGIVENESS.......................34 ENERGY ............................................................................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE...................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS..21 DEPRESSION............................................................ ADDICTION.............46 SMART GOALS ...............................8 BALANCE ...........................5 ANXIETY ........................18 COMMUNICATION ................................ DIETING..................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ........................................................................................................... D......................................................26 DEPRESSION ........................................................................................................................................................................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).............. DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...........................................................................37 FABULOUS ....... ENERGY ..............................26 DIETING ....... EMOTIONS..46 B.....3 ANGER .........7 BALANCE.......................................................................................................................................................

......69 MALE DEPRESSION.......49 HEALING ........H...........................................................................................67 LOVE.............................................................................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS................72 MIND SUCCESS ........77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING . ..........................63 KISMET .................. J................................................59 JEALOUSY...................................... HEALING.................................................. L............................................................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION................................................................77 OVERLOAD........................................................................ HYPNOSIS.................................80 PERCEPTION .......... LIFE.............. K...........................54 IMAGERY......................................................56 JEALOUSY .................63 KARMA ................................. P...........................52 IMAGERY..........................................84 I......................................................... LOVE............65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ...............................................54 INTUITION..........................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ......................................... LUCK ............................................... KISMET ............................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).....................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION.................... MIND SUCCESS ...... PHOBIAS..................................78 PAIN.........70 MALE DEPRESSION................................................80 PAIN..............................................................................................................68 LUCK .......................................................... PROSPERITY ................................ N....................81 PHOBIAS ...........................49 HEART FIRE .. MIND-BODY CONNECTION........................... Q.....................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ........59 KARMA............................................................................................................................ INTUITION............................................................................. PERCEPTION.........................65 LIFE..78 OVERLOADED LIFE ....................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). O....................... M.........51 HYPNOSIS..............................................................................................................................................

..............................103 VALUE AREAS..................................122 INDEX ...................................86 RELEASING ...........................................................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE..............................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT........ i...........................116 S...................................................113 TWO FUTURES ....................................... RELATIONSHIPS..............................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.......................108 WEIGHT ................................................. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS............. iii ...........88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ....................................................... STUCK ............................................................... WORDS...... ii..........................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ......................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ................................................................................................... Y.................114 ZEAL ............... VICTIMHOOD........... V..........................................................106 WEIGHT.............. EXERCISES ........................................................................................................... X........................... Z........110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)...........................................111 X SMOKER............................................................104 VISUALIZATION ....................................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ............108 WORDS.............................................. BINGER ETC .................................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE..............................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...................... T......... VISUALIZATION.................................96 STUCK ............ W.................................................R.............. U.....95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE......117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.. RELEASING........................................................................................ WOUNDS .........................86 RELATIONSHIPS ............................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)...........101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ...................94 SELF-TALK............................................................ DRINKER................................................................... YUMMY LIST .............. SELF-TALK..................................114 YUMMY LIST ..................................94 STRESS ...............................................................

Fear of change. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. ADDICTION. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. it is filled with laughter. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. Because of this. The future. a life that is rich and full. ANGER. indeed. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. incident.net 1 . As a result. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. we don’t trust it to be real. however. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. usually as a result of fear. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. It is our perception of any event. occurrence. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. think we are making progress or stagnating. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. even worse. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance.A ABUNDANCE. AFFIRMATIONS. satisfying. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. love. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. excitement and yes. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. fear of failure. In order to make changes. fear of success. © Copyright 2003. money and success. Even when we know we have this tool. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing.

living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. at least while they are using their drug. helps them suppress the pain. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. the more connected you feel. however. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. alcohol. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Your first step. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. Unfortunately. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. no matter what program you are going through. A tempo that is magnetic. and life just gets better and better. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. It is important though. Allow that desire to flow through you. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. who you can call when you feel you might slip.e. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. so. however. you do have a choice. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us.. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. at least for a while. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. cocaine.net 2 . or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. the more vibrant and alive you become. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. People without strong desires slowly whither away. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. i.

secularsobriety. then you. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. though. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. the addict. but you don’t have to. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.com www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003.net 3 . Many people.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. When you face this pain that you have been running from. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. A friend of mine once told me.habitdoc. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. The sooner we realize and accept that.passagesmalibu. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help.practicalrecovery. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. if it is not done. you will forever remain an addict.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. so. I agree with this school of thought. However.org www. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. www. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going.com www. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.

If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. always focus on what you want to move towards.” Or say.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. not what you want to avoid. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. If necessary. Don’t let fear hold you back. when what you really mean is. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire.” the message sent to your mind. the steering wheel of your car. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” • State your affirmations in the positive. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system.net 4 .” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. your computer. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. Always create an image of what you want in your life.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” Or “I will lose weight. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. © Copyright 2003. then that means you are on the right track. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. When you do this. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. So. When you move towards what you want. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. • Always remember this. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. • Be specific. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. that’s like moving uphill.

anger is the most common response. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. looking for justice and revenge. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. But some people seem to be angry all the time. along with mourning. If you see yourself as a victim. Even if we bury anger deep inside. eating disorders. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. then anger becomes a serious health risk. it can be just as damaging. and heart palpitations. you may blame others for your situation or condition. In addition.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. So. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. you may see yourself as an avenger. fatigue. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. drug abuse and depression. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. going from one trauma to the next. Not only is this destructive to you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. alcoholism. and in small doses can be a good thing. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. When a relationship ends. Holding onto anger.net 5 . cold hands. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. In situations that cause fear. hostility. When this is the case. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. can lead to serious food addictions. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. shaking. hurt. resentment. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. crying. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings.

Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. Also. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. If you feel powerless. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Power and anger are frequently related.net 6 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but anger that may be directed at you by others. suicide. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. Remember. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. it will never go away. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. expressing your anger in an indirect way. however. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. and can help make you more content. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. © Copyright 2003. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. and can lead to serious food addictions. Unfortunately. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. coronary disease. releasing your anger. and stubborn. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. cancer. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. sarcastic. and even increased workplace injuries. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. fear and hurt. bitterness.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. and depression. alcohol and drug abuse. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). In the past. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger.

As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. mood swings. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. fear or anxiety. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. Fears. nausea. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Also. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. flying. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. weakness. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis.net 7 . It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. etc. shakiness. fear or anxiety.). driving a car. being home alone. © Copyright 2003. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. anxiety. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol.

Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. let them be a reminder to look inside. The problem was. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Twelve hours of day and night. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. No matter what you hear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. right? Yes and no. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. it didn’t work. you know. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. Good advice. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. There isn’t another person. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Just think about that a moment.net 8 . then he’d really truly be happy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. Sometimes we need reminders. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. that happiness must come from within ourselves. I told him the usual stuff. place or thing that can make you happy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Happiness.B BALANCE. No one can tell you how to be happy. getting involved with a church. a perfect balance. then it would make him happy as well.

Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. working for you. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. That means stop analyzing everything so much. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. desire. stop thinking it to death.net 9 . No matter how hard we may try. if we are angry. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. It will. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. But even more than that. They allow you to clear out the old. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. our voice. job or whatever you are seeking. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. feeling. to balance the light and dark within yourself. In this state. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. fulfillment and life find you. You are able to access your subconscious.co. lover. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. goal. even the words we use. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. the right kind of suggestions. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. jane@changingpeople. Woods. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. happiness. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. Whether it’s an emotion. and in doing so.

just a little. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. It is an immutable part of the human condition. To a degree that can be true. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. you must do what is right for you. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. for example. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. That said. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. and generally we prefer not to think about it. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others.net 10 .the intensity and duration may differ. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). © Copyright 2003. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. and so on. letting relevant people know. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. However. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention.

and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. uncaring. or those suffering alongside us. is a refusal to believe the news.net 11 . © Copyright 2003. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. we may need to be told several times. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. recognizing it and naming it. a normal response. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. once the first shock waves have abated. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. It is unrealistic but again. Help them tell you their feelings. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. We may need evidence. Some enlightened doctors know. disconcertingly. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. This is where someone less involved can offer help. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. when they are breaking bad news to patients. and just plain wrong. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. For example.Denial A second common response. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. “If I do this. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. or for feeling angry. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. we may be compelled to visit the scene. Often that is enough. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt.

in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. and even our clothing. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way.net 12 . create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. how to manage our grief. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. even perhaps depressed. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. like fundraising for a particular charity. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. was decreed. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. For example. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. just let it go. when our behaviour. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. You cannot short circuit this process. I have lost someone significant in my life’. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards.

in this phase. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. such as excessive use of alcohol. you never go right back to the beginning. feeling there is no point. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. © Copyright 2003. and this will of course vary from person to person. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. People want to help but they often don’t know how. If you need a hug. we begin to move on. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance.net 13 . which can be a comfort. not in any sense. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. we experiment with new ways of behaving. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. You may find. But actually. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. ask them. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. Let close friends offer you comfort. be it with a handshake or a hug. however it feels. However hard it is. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. Experiment At some point. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. This does not mean forgetting them.

” © Copyright 2003. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described.net 14 . Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Knowing this can help you plan for it. or an offer of help with the shopping. If you can. Again. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Helping In Western culture. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. surrounded by people. taking flowers to an appropriate place. as I have said. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. so we need to use our discretion. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. be it taking some homemade food round. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. a card sincerely written. be it lighting candle. Literally. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Make your peace with that and all will be well. whether for you personally. I hope it has been helpful however. ritual can be helpful at this time. take medical advice. Of course. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful.

by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Woods. Finally. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. almost no one likes it. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. jane@changingpeople. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. we can get very fed up.co. Just remember this. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it .net 15 . we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. depending on the severity of the change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. depending on the change. some anecdotal. This phase goes on for ages or not too long.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Sometimes. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. some research based. and some simply telling you how to do it. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it.C CHANGE. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. even depressed. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Sometimes. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003.

I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. A Story Here is a short story about change. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. You are speechless at first. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry.net 16 . the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. However. Worse. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. Finding they are. You are feeling bright and chirpy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. “What?” you say. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. It may ring a bell with you. © Copyright 2003.

vulnerable. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. Use two different colours if you like..But then. That is a fact to record on the top line. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. For example. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. and. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. angry. or determined to make more effort.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. don’t just focus on the negatives. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. did it make you sad. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change.net 17 . joy of joys. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. So. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you.. no one but you is going to see this. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. yes. For example. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies.

‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. while another may be much more fatalistic. At first. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. Then. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. and therefore our feelings. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. For example. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. But as the sun rises. Similarly with our responses to change. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. as the dawn progresses. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. However. Dawns. The same principle applies to you. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. They begin almost imperceptibly.net 18 . Obviously. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. no one makes us feel anything. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. another to frown and feel aggrieved. however. Actually. our thoughts. overloaded message units and repressed fears. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. One may approach it in a positive way. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. © Copyright 2003. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. Sometimes. are funny things. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. our responses to change are individual and personal. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it.

Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. you do not need to feel this way. confidence. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. remember “dawn” can and will happen. apprehension and fear. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. Be absolutely clear about what you want. given enough time and repetition. For example. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. inept. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even our physical health and well being. Giving you the feeling of freedom. When this happens. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. relaxation.anxiety and emotions. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Unfortunately.net 19 . but will actually consider them an order. see the right path. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. you start to believe it yourself. detailed imprint of what you desire. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. If you are starting to feel anxious. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. confused or fearful. © Copyright 2003. you are in essence training your mind. need or want. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. clumsy. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. however. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. Ultimately. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization.

If you want a New Beginning. want and desire. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure.net 20 . not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. As Abraham Lincoln once said. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. it is a journey. It does make a difference. so. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. It’s the life in your years. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You will feel stronger. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject.achieving prosperity. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. confidence and trust. you need to be aware. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. you always have a choice. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. all of your life.” So live your life fully. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. mold them and do it over and over again. with clarity. abundance. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. then the real fun can start.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. you are actually living the life you want. realizing all the possibilities available to you. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. does and will continue to offer you what you need. in addition. Know that no matter what things might look like. yoga. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. Trust that the Universe has. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. Guide them.

Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. engage and listen. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. yellow balloon. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. look and listen. The problem is that we communicate differently. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. It is important not to go looking for your sign.knowing. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical.net 21 . I truly believe that faith. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. © Copyright 2003. our answers are all around us. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. courage. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. dolphins . It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk.

Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed.net 22 . It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. whatever when upset. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. possibly even throws things when angry.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. and how natural and normal this is. they will answer yes or no. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. opposites really do attract. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. how they can come apart. In relationships. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. Communication. it isn’t. cries. people don’t realize just how true this is. It is the physical who yells. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. however. So. These two types. © Copyright 2003. the way we communicate with each other. is so much more than simple questions. among other things. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. An example would be. if you ask a physical if they are cold. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. First. enjoys spur of the moment activities. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. but E&P affects. screams.

If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. you can see how this could be problematic. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. self-confidence. Remember though. We heal from physical injuries. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same.The same thing occurs when communicating. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. however is just one part of communication.net 23 . the more the physical pushes. It becomes a vicious circle. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. they can ruin lives. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. Since we tend to project our thoughts. This E&P communication. Conversely. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Also. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. © Copyright 2003. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. You had to be strong. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. Words have power. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time.

but not only that. Also. find out what you can do. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. intelligence and compassion. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. bad relationship and can keep on going. throughout your life entire life. Think and dream about your future. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. call out for help. This is why “words” do have so much power. your talent. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You know because I say it over and over again. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. The same holds true for what you hear. keep your thoughts strong. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. wider and stronger each and every day. each of us. beautiful heart and so much love to give. dreams and desires. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. As a matter of fact. is powerful beyond belief. But you are wrong. But most of all. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind.net 24 . leave.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. The woman who has come out of a nasty. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. by working it. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. this planet needs you. Your life depends on it After all. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. © Copyright 2003. Make some calls. someone will answer. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.

scream and yell and swear all you want. Once said they are out there forever. words can destroy you. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification.net 25 . But when you are with someone you care about. © Copyright 2003. our child. husband. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. Vent when you are alone. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. And that’s really what venting to another person is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. words can hurt you. wife. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones…….Each of us.

yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. sleep problems and/or exhaustion.it is created. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. thought patterns and thought habits. if this work fulfills its potential. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. suicidal feelings. Dr. According to Dr. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves….even into very advanced old age. Miller goes on to stress. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. if we want to. According to Dr. conditions and illnesses.net 26 . that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available.D DEPRESSION. however. Researchers like Dr. In addition.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. and just like any other habit. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. but in essence they are just like any other habit. AND -. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. DIETING. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. No one is born with such a brain -. As research continues in this area. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. In fact. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. depression. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. Jill Ammon-Wexler. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. © Copyright 2003.

The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. healthy muscles. Think about that a moment. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”.use it or lose it. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. fulfilled life. what we say to ourselves.net 27 . This is hugely important! All our thoughts. I don’t want to be around negative people. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. even more importantly. What we think. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. What it does understand. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. “unhappy”. © Copyright 2003. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. etc. “disappointed in my relationships”. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. I just want to be happy.

2005. Massachusetts. 100 times more.D. it will continue to go on. October 18. Parkinson’s disease.net 28 . When you can take a truth and internalize it. Woman’s World. whether it is physical or emotional.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Bruce Cohen. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. Fixing one problem can often help the other. with the aid of hypnosis. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.” observes Dr. stroke and Alzheimer’s. reflect on the contrary. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. is originating on a deeper. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Reflect on the positive. heart disease. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take responsibility for your thoughts. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. When there is negative thinking.. including cancer. Ph. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. subconscious level. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. epilepsy. Pay attention to what you are thinking. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. on a subconscious level. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. So. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.

the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. sometimes to death. then we were told maybe it isn’t. any kind of fat. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. First we were told that fat. The first diet included six small meals a day. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). test or theory. we are really only getting part of the story. but in addition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. Confusing. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. now again we are hearing. diet and weight. Part of one study.net 29 . because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. is bad for you. it seems as if all the doctors. we just don’t want to do it. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. the second diet was only three meals a day. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and of course. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. The truth is. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. according to the New York Times. especially our young women. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. When most of us think about diet and weight. never a comparison with all the other studies. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. particularly among our young people. © Copyright 2003. people. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. Chocolate was bad for you. especially in the United States. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. and these are serious issues indeed. And throughout all of it.

so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. a lack of fulfillment. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. weight issues are rarely just about weight. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now.net 30 . One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. Just as with any weight. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. Releasing negative thoughts. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. As we live our lives. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. both emotional and physical. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. and getting the right kind of support and advice. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. satisfaction. confidence or happiness. it can include abandonment issues. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. Knowledge is indeed power. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. With the internet available to all of us. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. In fact. one of the first things I tell them is. © Copyright 2003. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. by taking control of our thoughts. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

though just an illusion. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. fear. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. what do you see. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. observe how you feel. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. Look at yourself. take control of your thoughts and change your life. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. This is. You can continue the work on your own. what do you think about. that we keep going back to it. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. So wonderful. © Copyright 2003. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. i. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. If you don’t like it. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. in fact.net 31 . but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. though is not just about external fact. I keep going back to this one phrase. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle.e.. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside.com.Knowledge. what does your world look like. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.

depression. ENERGY. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. anxiety. any negative experience. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. has no value of its own. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. a negative experience itself. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). posttraumatic stress disorder. EMOTIONS. addictions and phobias. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. As I’ve written before. general stress. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. © Copyright 2003.net 32 . proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. Not a hypothetical path. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. including depression. fear. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. anger.

Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. As stated earlier. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. With regard to addictions. © Copyright 2003. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. Remember.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. war trauma or severe physical illness. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. understanding the negative experience is not enough.net 33 . The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. deprivation. weight loss to pain and illness. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. In addition. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. to addiction. With or without hypnosis. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. EFT can help with both the cravings. emptiness and anxiety. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. do not use self-hypnosis. and more importantly. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005.

the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Ryke Geerd Hamer. accidents and increased workplace injuries. hostility. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. a German physician conducted with the help of 20.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. resentment. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion.net 34 . hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. By forgiving. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. meditation. but our physical health as well. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. hurt and unforgiveness. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. Likewise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. even more importantly. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. For example. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. One such study by Dr. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. hurt. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger.

such as genetics. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. In most cases of cancer. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. white flour. but it is not. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. In addition to nurturing your mind. it prevents depression. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. exposure to toxic substances. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. pathogens. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.specifically. whole grains. etc.net 35 . synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Throughout this book you will find theories. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. etc). that we are out of balance. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. seems somewhat contradictory. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. diet. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. vaccines.

who have the ability to relax more fully. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. © Copyright 2003. Hypnosis can help you. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While listening to your hypnotherapist. So. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. stress. but balance will return. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that.net 36 . visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. or an inability to let go and just relax. imagery. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life.

To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. aiming for 30 to 50 times. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. Healthy fats. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. garlic liberally. FOCUS. Fruits and vegetables and spices.net 37 . It helps if you put your fork down between bites. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. © Copyright 2003. safflower and vegetable oils. Chew properly. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. Increase your intake of fish. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food.F FABULOUS. 2.carotenoids in carrots. turmeric. Drink more water. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. primary by reducing the inflammation. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. which as we know reduce inflammation. soy. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. until the food becomes liquid. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. FEAR. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. try counting the chews in each bite. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. whole grains. The indigestible parts of fruits. Fiber. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. Their phytonutrients . Eat the right foods. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. nuts.

Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. our organs. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. take deep breaths. But breathing is also effective. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. Losing weight gradually . When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Detox. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. 5. Our blood is what creates our cells.) If under pressure at meals. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. our tissues. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Eat homemade food. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. chew. but so will saunas and hot baths. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. 4. our hair. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. our skin. which creates less gas. 6. As a matter of fact. Pesticides. Sweat – cleans up your system.net 38 . Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Any form of exercise helps. Breathe. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. chemicals from manufacturing. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. The solution: Sweat. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 3. Detox is a relative term. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. Regular exercise should make you sweat. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration.

Have a home-made facial. boost mood. Laugh. relaxes your body. etc. diary products. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. improving your healthy well-being. focused. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. fried foods. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. I call it facial meditation.it is delicious. bread. grains. our jobs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our relationships. fats. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins.net 39 . © Copyright 2003. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. 7. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. and improve overall health. refined flours. you sure can laugh at one. Have sex. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. meats. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Take the laughter yoga class. Tai chi -moving meditation . hydrogenated fats. 9. Even if you can’t tell a joke.consists of slow. 8. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. 10. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques.

Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. healthy and joyous life you want. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. insomnia or lack of energy.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme.naturalcounselor. fear of failure. what we expect. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again.net 40 . or even worse. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. FEAR: fear of change. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of success. one thing seems to come up most frequently. mood swings. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. that one thing. though. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. a short while. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. That one thing is FEAR. it keeps us from making a big mistake. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results.

for the most part. pretend and let our imaginations soar. Your goals must be your very own. When you have specific. We were told to grow up. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1.net 41 . relationships. career and health because you are afraid of failing. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. get out your list and read it again. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. the more vibrant and alive we become. 2. As children we were free to play. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. the more connected we feel. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. we are afraid to dream. Be honest. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. If you haven’t done so already. © Copyright 2003. This is wrong. the world of adults. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. friends and lovers live this kind of life. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. instead. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. have a reasonably happy life. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. as we grew older. and grow up. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. in order to be an adult. afraid of disappointment. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away. Something that is important to you right now. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. and life just gets better and better. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. But. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. write down your goals and if you did write them down. we have chosen. we were told to leave those dreams behind.

Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. If you have not asked for support much in the past. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. laughing. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. it’s hard to focus. parent. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. doing something together. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Use them. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. When you say your affirmations out loud. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. As an example. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003.3. even though we would gladly give it if asked. a powerful tool. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. if your goal is to run a marathon. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. 4. Focus. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve.net 42 . talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. push yourself to ask for help now. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. though. crying and so on. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. life coach or whomever and ask for support. breathing things. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. You know. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Remember the Power of Affirmations. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. 5. FOCUS Look around you. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. negative or neutral to our mental. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. it still exists in our subconscious. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. physical and emotional well-being. sight. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. whether asleep or awake. smell and hearing. touch. confront the situation as needed. When we go through periods of stress. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. affirmative statements. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. interpersonal and relationship problems. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. though. Luckily. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. recorded on brain and body cells. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. It disables your emotional resources. and its effects may be positive. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. you are bombarded with millions of message units. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. success and fulfillment. forgive and accept forgiveness. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives.net 43 . psychological imbalances. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. resentment or anger. © Copyright 2003. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement.taste. Over time. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. that release. During the course of a day.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. our subconscious is able to do this for us. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. The subconscious processes everything. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. This is commonly referred to as memory. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. though. health. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on.

Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. This not only applies to a current. 6. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. 3. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. tears. 4. fear and anxiety. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. anger. Even when we sleep long hours. 5. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. laughter and perspiration. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. 2. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential.net 44 . you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. existing situation. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. Once learned. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. During the Releasing session. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. They are also © Copyright 2003. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances.

disappointment. however. as a Soul. including health care professionals and clergy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and your body and life are the printout. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. the Releaser is asked to state. the brain is your biological computer. etc.). 8. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. once learned.net 45 . I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. and feeling great. “I release (relevant emotions.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. can be done alone. sadness. © Copyright 2003. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. As people from all backgrounds. have learned. such as anger. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed.” 7. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. function as a computer operator. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life.

Not only in your own relationships. We find ourselves drifting along. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. your current life situation. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. This same principle works the same way for emotions. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. fun. not really happy. After you’ve done this.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. though. thoughts and ideas. Think of it as a game. You choose what you want in your life. I don’t know about you. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. If you think about anger. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. A really simple way to test this theory is this. an activity or a thing. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. meaningful and exciting. whether it is an emotion. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. Without goals. Sometimes. “I don’t know what I want. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want.net 46 . A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. take the color blue for example. A state of being is not an emotion. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. something that is crucial to goal setting. Each of us is already whole. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. a diversion to keep life interesting. if you think about a color. not only does life get depressing. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. Conversely. but I’ve heard myself say in the past.

You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. He’s got free will just as we all do. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. sometime weekly. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. Don’t forget about free will. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. not if you want to improve your life. change is the whole point.net 47 . meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). keeps us feeling alive. it just means you make an adjustment. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. responsible. simple Measurable. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. they will never be overwhelming. If you do this regularly. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. © Copyright 2003. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. it would be a boring and scary world. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. Adjustments are a good thing. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. But you can’t manifest everything you want. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. doesn’t mean I can have him. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward.

set those goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 48 . dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.Remember. So. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. © Copyright 2003. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.

but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind.net 49 . In a pilot study published in 1999. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires.D. lower blood pressure. by using specific. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis.. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. speed up healing after surgery. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. Ph.H HEALING. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. As David Spiegel. turning some functions on and others off. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. imagery. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. relieve depression and so much more. visualization and positive suggestions. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. It can help relieve pain. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. and help strengthen the immune system. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. releasing negative thoughts. © Copyright 2003. Working from the inside out. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing.

visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. Arreed Barabasz. in terms of levels of pain. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. that’s because it is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. The suggestions. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. empathic care provider and hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. and the third received standard care. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. anxiety and the need for painkillers.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. though. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . During the operation.net 50 .” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. Every 15 minutes. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. soothing kind of treatment. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups.

It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. the hypnotized patients used less medication. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. In effect. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. experienced less pain. And this list goes on and on. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. then the real fun can start. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” says Marc Schoen. A journey that you can now control. While in the trance. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. you actually see it. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. which could account for heightened attention. Spiegel and Lang found. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. involving more than 330 patients. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness.” says Spiegel. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. On average. realizing all the possibilities available to you. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex.” Using imaging technology. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Once again. “It’s not just a fantasy. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups.net 51 . If you think you are seeing color. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. the brain’s manager and planner. psychologists say.

even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. stress. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. you can do this exercise while awake.jealously. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. Try it once and feel the results. When I say fuel. Problems that we encounter every single day. hurt. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. rude or just plain nasty people. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. With a bit of practice. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 52 . Some little problem or some big problem. © Copyright 2003. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. tension and minor frustrations. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. All life starts as a spark. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. My purpose is to help them remember. resentment. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. Each incident throughout the day affects us. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. As we each move through life. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. unpleasant. this spark can grow a little dim. fear. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). though. We have to cope with irritating. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. we each have to deal with something. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. Sometimes. hurt.

Giving you a feeling of relaxation. The more visual and real you make your goal. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind.” Using hypnosis. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive.net 53 . or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. clarity. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. however. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. © Copyright 2003. comfort. anything at all about yourself. As a result. more positive thoughts. According to Stephen Kosslyn. If there is anything in your world. a professor of psychology at Harvard. not only will you feel better immediately. relaxed. Some pleasant. Try hypnosis. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. every message unit. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. you create a vivid. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. feel or react. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. but the results will amaze and delight you. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. you will feel refreshed. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. and much better about yourself. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. euphoria and control of your life again. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires.

What we experience as feelings. create passionate relationships. etc. fear or confidence. what we say to ourselves. 2006. fixing a problem in one place.net 54 . build self-confidence. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. The brain is simply another organ in your body. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you.” Cheryl O’Neil. www. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. heal your body. who I especially admire. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. etc. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. mend your ways. As stated in Woman’s World. and change your life . feel more loved. Simply put. can often help the other. Your ability to overcome obstacles. boost your mood. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. However. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity.cheryloneil. depressed © Copyright 2003. September 26. Conversely. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body.. Never. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. once wrote. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. good or bad. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. failure or success. More and more doctors as well as patients. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down.I IMAGERY.is determined by the thoughts you think.” What we think.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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INTUITION
Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. “What we think about we bring about. Another way I practice is with elevators. The fourth part is training your mind. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Self Esteem. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item.qualifiedlifecoach. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Law of Attraction. Reiki.com © Copyright 2003. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. Meditation. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. Private & Group Coaching. You rise above thinking in mediation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 58 . place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. 98% of the time I am right. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Abundance. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow.com. use a deck of cards. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. You know that saying. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Motivation. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.

You feel violated. you may go into a rage. You want revenge. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. and grow. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. delusions. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. no matter what that entails. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. in control of yourself and your partner. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you can cool down. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. You want to stop what you are feeling. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. It is essential to communicate clearly. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. Often. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. enjoy their life. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. You are angry. and if so. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. You want to see them become more of who they are. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. projections. succeed.net 59 . The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. That’s the truth of love. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. envy.

This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. the jealousy resides within you. If your relationship is based on Attachment. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. © Copyright 2003. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Jealousy is like an onion. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. not within the relationship. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. you cannot make a person love you. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. you cannot. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. You can give yourself the gift. If you can do this. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. It does not.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. If you move inward and look at yourself.net 60 . You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner.

the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. We think that we should be able to rise above it. Look at the reality. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can reach self-awareness. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. Another layer is projection. The truth is that for most of us. This is natural and normal. This insight. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. the truth behind what you are feeling. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. guilt or anger. It is their own. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. envy. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. This is projecting. You do not own it. These all grow out of expectation. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Another layer can be guilt. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. really look and analyze them. Projection. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger.net 61 . We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. there is nothing to feel guilty about. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. we find envy. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. Going down to an even deeper layer. Look at your beliefs. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others.

You can choose to move away from those feelings.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and let that be who you are. When you attempt to possess another person. By looking deep within. Open your heart and mind to it. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Hypnosis can help. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. If you find yourself doing this. © Copyright 2003. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough.net 62 . Surrender to it. If you are experiencing jealously. frequently they are not real. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. the resentment and the hurt. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. You become vulnerable. When you love. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. Fear of loss. fear of being alone. look deep within yourself at these feelings. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. then what you are experiencing is not love. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You do not need to experience jealously. you become yourself possessed. you can watch that love radiate out for all. our childhood. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. They come from our past. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. Perhaps you fear abandonment. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. they still don’t meet your expectations. Once you release the anger. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. but attachment. If you love someone. fear of not being worthy of love. let that guide you.

KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. all of which determine our future. if you prefer.K KARMA. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. There is no judgment involved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Most people © Copyright 2003. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). In religions that incorporate reincarnation. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. but generally the concept is basically the same. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Jain. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions.net 63 . we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Just a thought. present and future and because of this. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. or alternatively.

Fate implies no choice. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. Step in. which is a huge component of the human psyche. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. As stated above.associate Destiny with fate. In the belief systems of many cultures. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably.net 64 . participate and change the direction you are heading. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. fate and destiny are not the same. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. prophet. saint or seer. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. If you are not satisfied with your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. © Copyright 2003. but fate makes no allowance for free will. In the Shang dynasty in China. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out.

If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page.net 65 . The old saying. For example. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. is a good analogy. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. that can help you with exactly that. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. “What you think about will happen in your life. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. LIFE. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad.” It’s about where you put your focus.000. What ever it is. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. “Let the chips fall where they may”. © Copyright 2003. LOVE. The concept of the law of attraction is. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups.00 a year income. start by writing it down. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

You have made it clear. You asked for what you wanted.net 66 . etc. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I promise you it will show up. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. Now that you have set this up. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. you then attracted it. don’t panic. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. pay attention to what happens next. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. allowing it to happen is vital. now grab it. pay attention. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. There is something there to be learned or gained. talk to those people. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. Now the key here is to follow up with this. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought.

Not only that. life is messy. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. Go to my web site for more information. tele-classes and resources are offered. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. a very wise woman. whatever that may entail because that’s your life.qualifiedlifecoach. Individual Coaching.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you used them to learn about yourself. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. who has no idea that she is. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. So live your life. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative.in a different package. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. www. maybe © Copyright 2003. The sooner we realize and accept that. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. It is never wasted and it is never lost. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth.” And I realized as she told me this. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.com. Group Coaching. that is the Universe telling you go…. You never.net 67 . and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. originally thought of. She told him something I want to share with all of you. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. she said “You didn’t waste those years.

often including a desire to help. romance. all kinds of love. © Copyright 2003. but yes. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. com·pas·sion.] Shak. A noun. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). some which I like and others not so much. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. never have. sex. I’m not sure why exactly. compassion and faith.” When we talk about compassion. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. First. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. t. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. I was reminded recently. healing. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. dating. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. married or alone. then. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. you are perfect.net 68 . Definition: To pity. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. living this life to experience love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. trust . Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. partnered. [Obs. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. v. I know.

measurable phenomenon. Luck is a real.net 69 . just maybe those people whose lives we touch. and. work with or just come into contact with. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. My only question to your would be this. Give yourself a break. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. then maybe. that negative voice in your head. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. someone around you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. those we live with. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. as well. © Copyright 2003.Another thing that is so important to remember.K. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. Instead of listening to that old record. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). with all their faults. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. can start to love themselves as well. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. heal others and yourself. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. then someone else. nobody can make it for you. one that you can get behind. lazy or self-indulgent. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. in the process.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sex. the depression and the cause of that depression. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem.. And yet. and so do the ideal treatments. “Depression may look like a single disease. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. 2007 article. or even make the depression worse. M. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003.e. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug.” Michael Craig Miller. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. In the past.D. with all these statistics facing us. February 26. This can make treatment especially difficult. (Harvard Medical School). In addition. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. but the underlying causes vary. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. As Dr. Depression can manifest in many different forms. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. certainly not for a real man.M MALE DEPRESSION. During the past 50 years.net 70 . Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help.

When you release the hurt. This is not easy. fear or anger that you are experiencing. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. without help. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. October 18. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Edward M. fear. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. hurt. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states.D.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. the healing process. Sometimes. Using © Copyright 2003. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. When this occurs. love and happiness beyond measure. resentment. helping you regain strong mental-health. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. you take back control of your own life. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. difficult and painful process. 2005. guilt and depression. Woman’s World. With the aid of hypnotherapy. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. using only your conscious mind can be a slow.net 71 . however. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. bitterness. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. As I quote above. Ph. There are detours that we must take. without wanting or meaning to. When you recognize that this is occurring. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. Hallowell. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. During the course of this journey and these detours. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. Working from the inside out. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. smooth and without bumps or potholes. As Dr.. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious.

Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. Ryke Geerd Hamer. Dr. With the help of 20.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. can lead to serious food addictions. This has been proven by Dr.net 72 . It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. In addition. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. eating disorders. drug abuse and depression. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. hurt.000 brain scans. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. including diet. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. but our physical body as well. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. resentment. pathogens. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. a German physician. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. meditation. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. alcoholism. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. © Copyright 2003. Holding onto anger. hostility. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion.

Ph. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. thought or image. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. white flour. Success is largely an inner game. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. etc. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. I have been there and there is a way out. It requires that you develop a success mind. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. guide them in a positive direction. This is a way of thinking. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions.D. etc). if you focus on anger. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book.exposure to toxic substances. Meditation works. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. and © Copyright 2003. Success is a process of continually learning new information. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life.net 73 . yoga can help. whole grains. Believe me. but to your thoughts as well. and this applies to any negative emotion. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. anger is what you will bring into your life. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). In addition to nurturing your mind. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. keeping track of what is working and what is not. use it and use it frequently. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. vaccines.

One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. the less we fear them. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. fear that we are not good enough. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. Take action. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. and create new realities. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. but also change the world. hardship. fear of failure. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. inventor. fear of what other people will think. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. Gather new information. © Copyright 2003.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. Take time to dream. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. and failure. foster creativity. generate new ideas. Only you have to live with your success or your failure.net 74 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Develop a process to examine your fears. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). The success mind trains itself to ask. learn from your mistakes. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. and keep moving forward. if you talk to any star athlete. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. Fear of change. fear of hard work. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. see unlimited possibilities. While success requires action. possibility is in the dreaming. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. or successful businessperson. Yet. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. This is one of the laws of success. you simply need to start. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. You will have to change to be successful. exploring one more option or opportunity. make adjustments along the way. conditioning. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success.

When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. form opinions. experience. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. and success. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. create. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. you likely will feel fear. your feelings. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Your thoughts. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. your world and your success. But once you say no to an opportunity. your actions. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. think. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. Remember. When you say yes. The time to begin is now. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. you will create even more opportunities for growth. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. Not simply because you say yes. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. You continue to grow. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. try on new perspectives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. adventure. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. challenge. As you do this. Mental toughness. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Question. It is never too late to develop your success mind. and grow.net 75 .

directed. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Dream big and take consistent. performance coach. Mollie Marti. and healthier lives. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. J.D.molliemarti. Inc. Visit her at www.net 76 . lawyer.success and rewards your effort..com or www. engage again and refuse to quit. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. better. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. happier.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. and smart action.bestlifedesign. mediator. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.D. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. redirect the effort. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Ph. make corrections. © Copyright 2003. is President of Best Life Design. Stop caring what other people think.

sports. However. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. and interpersonal influence. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. There is. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. linguistics and computer science. John Grinder. Unfortunately. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. © Copyright 2003.net 77 . the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). sales. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. management training. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Robert Dilts. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. however. Frequently when NLP is mentioned.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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occurrence. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. health healing. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. © Copyright 2003. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. remember that red not only represents life force. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. Whether it makes us happy or sad. Also. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. Use it for minor headaches.net 81 . growth. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. red would probably not be the best color to use. use Yellow) money. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. think we are making progress or stagnating. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. activity. You have the power to change your perception. fire. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back.

But the results tend to be permanent. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. Basically. but it is not a gift at all. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. control it and use it wisely. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. though. If you are suffering from a phobia. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. © Copyright 2003. You are then taken back to the phobia again. After you are put into a hypnotic state. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. this is how it works. It can be done in person and over the phone. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Once you have faced your phobia. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. there will be no emotional response. Perception is a powerful thing. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia.net 82 . It may seem like a gift in the beginning. Take control. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Depending on the phobia. this power. it can make your life almost unbearable. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. Sometimes.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. Relief is truly immediate. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. By the time your therapist is done.

and not just money or things. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Fear of change. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. © Copyright 2003. prosperity includes a rich. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Mollie W. however. fulfillment and yes.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. joyful and full life filled with love. Frequently they are a result of fear. both written by Dr. it may be necessary to make some changes. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. happiness. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. you will enjoy them immensely. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. money as well. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. fun. fear of failure. thinking and dreaming.net 83 . even fear of success. and not just a lack of money or things.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Marti. In order to accomplish this. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams.

external universe. solid. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. Supersymmetry. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. independent and apart from us. however. utterly real. Time. EPR Paradox. hear.net 84 . Theory of Everything. and tangible. It appears undeniably to be out there. around us. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. In the dream it all seems very real. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. not the other way around. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Schroedinger’s Cat. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. they are all phenomena within the mind.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. smell. the Copenhagen Interpretation. We can see it. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. Grand Unified Theory. touch it. and hear it. separate from us. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. in about three or four paragraphs! So. They exist within consciousness. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Superstring Theory. However real and external these images may seem. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. Quantum Gravity. instead. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. Unified Field Theory. space. because what was a mechanical. as I started to research this a bit. String Theory. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. touch. in addition. M-Theory. standing as a physical world. taste. Loop Quantum Gravity.

if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.So. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.net 85 . Cool. huh? So. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. and there’s only one real way to do that. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.

RELEASING.net 86 . Unfortunately. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. read on. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. our behavior patterns. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. possibly even throws things when angry. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. cries or screams when upset. It is the physical who yells. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In addition. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks.R RELATIONSHIPS. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. These two distinct types. However. how they can come apart. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. congratulations. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. © Copyright 2003. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. First. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. if you are not. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this.

The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. his career. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. he cannot understand why. then hobbies. She on the other hand. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. Their first priority is their career. For the physical. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. She is happy. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. is quite a bit different. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. When I say E&P attraction. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other.net 87 . Let’s cover very briefly. After all. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. Next would be their children. To her partner it is his career. But let’s look into the future several months. So he starts spending more time at work. When they first meet.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. With the physical female. In relationships. The emotional. And boy do they do relate. what the priorities of each are. the relationship is of primary importance to her. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. And that’s a good thing. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. longer hours at the office. This is natural. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. outgoing. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. secure and © Copyright 2003. on the other hand. When his partner complains that they never see each other. I really do mean attraction.

you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. With communication you can understand each other. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. Plenty. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. Sometimes.net 88 . By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. The process is quick. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to get clear on your goals for the future. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. Interestingly enough. Release anger. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. When we are healthy and balanced. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. releasing occurs naturally. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. © Copyright 2003. This is done through imagery and suggestion. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. Remember. When you understand how the other thinks. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. What can be done about this. sadness. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. communication is key to any successful relationship. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear and guilt. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. though. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake.

The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Both techniques are effective. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. physical. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. doubts. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. That may been all you need at this time. unpredictability and lack of control. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. body and emotions. use your downloadable sessions first. hurt. Ph.D. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. and emotional states. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand.net 89 . fears. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. If your subconscious is ready. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. positive thoughts. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. Negative expectations. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. process and recall information. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life.

These types of performance routines consist of ten components. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. each and every day. It’s going to be a gloomy. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. You wake up and your first thought might be. As you add them to your day. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. “It’s gray and cloudy. taking in a deep breathe. to your computer. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Rest is any activity. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. make a choice to expect positive results. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. You spend mental.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. reading a book. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Think and say. over the telephone. boring day. As you spend energy during the day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. build in ways to recoup your energy. You give energy away to other people. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Rather.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. For example. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. in and of © Copyright 2003.net 90 . Many rituals are quite simple. you are ready for it. and in countless other interactions. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today.

it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. When you carry negative emotions like fear. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. and anxiety. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. Influence Management: Before any performance. You’ve © Copyright 2003. After a 90-minute presentation. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. For example. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. you are less able to concentrate on your task. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day.itself. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. which is pleasurable and restorative. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you.net 91 . rhythmic breathing. guilt. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. anger. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. nervousness. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. after working at your computer for an hour. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. fatigue. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. linking it with a unique physical action. and discarding the emotion. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. frustration.

. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. works well. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. As I cross the line. For example. but when it came time to start. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking.net 92 . you might choose a banner. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. even if it is a good thing. can be viewed as a distraction. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. If you are in your office or in a conference room. As you travel or perform in different locations. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. Any time you get distracted. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. If you travel. it also had drifted off. I “turn on” my full engagement. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. back to my task. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. such as a doorframe. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. A tangible engagement cue. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. She chose a cloud as her focal point. body and emotions that it is time to perform. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . “OK. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. consciously look at your focal point. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. try to use the same type of focal point. a piece of art. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. © Copyright 2003. I image a red line on the floor. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. . prior to a presentation or meeting. Before you perform. This leads to a less than stellar performance. or a clock on the wall. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. Yet.simply applied a band-aid.

More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Inc. Ph. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. and healthier lives. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.molliemarti. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. performance coach. better.. mediator. including caffeine and adrenaline. and success. concentration. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep.D. J. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. successful entrepreneur. Common ones are the misuse of drugs.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. it won’t feel right. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. It will throw you off. Mollie Marti. This means that if you get away from your rituals. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind.. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. If you cannot identify your rituals. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. As part of this process.com or www. lawyer. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Visit her at www.net 93 . happier.D. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. © Copyright 2003.bestlifedesign. is President of Best Life Design. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. alcohol. they will provide great consistency.

S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

SELF-TALK
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

STRESS
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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broccoli. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. exhaustion.to be one of the first things that goes. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. bananas. prunes. causing irritability and nervousness. irritability. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. leafy vegetables. salmon. apricots. depression. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. fish. worry. blood sugar fluctuations. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. fear. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. such as hormonal imbalances. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. depression. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. etc. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster.net 97 . mustard greens. oats. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. sesame seeds. kale. asparagus. Unfortunately. brown rice. © Copyright 2003. apples. irritability. Calcium rich foods are almonds. kelp. Almonds. moodiness and nervousness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Vitamin B6. impatience. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. garlic. You need eat more avocados. chronic fatigue. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. seafood. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. Vitamin B12. cabbage. Calcium.

mood swings. Start squeezing something.naturalcounselor. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. root vegetables (such as potatoes. green leafy vegetables. to work away your tension. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. Squeeze a squishy ball. Kiss. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. brown rice. Walk. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. oatmeal. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. but if something happens to us. a founder of NaturalCounselor. our cortisol levels drop. tuna and whole grains. who will take care of our children.net 98 . nobody will. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. though. Sing. salmon. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. oranges. our family? So let us be stress smart. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. In addition. you must relax.com © Copyright 2003. lentils. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. mushrooms. Call a friend. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. insomnia or lack of energy. barley. Bottom line though. carrots and turnips). See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. such as a squishy ball. dates.Folic acid. I know mine always have been).com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. legumes.

that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. I used to feel that way often. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’.net 99 . Energy is constantly in motion. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. If you understand that. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. if you are having a problem with money. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. If you wake up today focusing on debt. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. I know I have. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. but to the energy of the present moment. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. For example. According to the laws of physics. a feeling. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. because you cannot stand still. If you wake up today affirming an illness.

for example. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. it doesn’t matter why it works. smooth. It is only important that it does. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. Pain sufferers. for most people.net 100 . This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. Ph. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. During the sessions. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. and elastic.” So.D. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Ph. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. can influence the body to heal itself. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson.. In a pilot study published in 1999. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Patients who suffer from panic attacks.D. meanwhile. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. And. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.” Ginandes says. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. You need to make room for change.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. © Copyright 2003. our results suggest. You don’t have to create change. really. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis. the truth is.

The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. When you have determined the directions of past and future. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. it is what feels best for you. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Remember. Take responsibility for your life and direction. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Take your time with this. © Copyright 2003. There is no correct answers. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. to the left or to the right. your love and your joy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. look down on the Time Line. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Remember.net 101 . for you happiness and your abundance. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. If it’s behind you. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event.

They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life.net 102 . You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. It might not have looked that way to others. I’d like you to consider another alternative. even if they cannot give it back. bad things just happen. you stuck by the wrong person. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. You need them to tell you to be strong. Sometimes what you need. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. It can look that way to others. You procrastinated. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. © Copyright 2003. you made a mistake. Without getting specific about each of them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. 90. Picture yourself at age 80. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. while another may be a Wiccan. whatever feels right. etc. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. © Copyright 2003. another may practice Hinduism. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. For example. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. you need to define what it is you want.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. 85. Spirituality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. First. VICTIMHOOD.net 103 . the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality.

there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. However. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Something very unpleasant. then you’ve got a problem. church and society. you will certainly feel violated. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication.Now think back over your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Perhaps you are abused. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. What areas cause you regret. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. are you really meant to be together. Figure it out early. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. or even the perceptions of our family. Remember. © Copyright 2003. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. What you might think is wrong. If it is what you believe. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Think about all the value areas of your life. then your perception makes it right. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. mugged or even raped. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. is you.net 104 . we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. but not only that. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. friends. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. You might get angry. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. What areas do you feel fulfilled in.

And. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. however. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. my mother didn’t give me enough love. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. happiness and joy available to each of us. But now. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time.. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. Here in the U. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. it means you are not responsible for anything. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. Life.S.” But.I want you to consider something. It wasn’t fun. But just take a moment now and really think about it. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. for what you do and what you say. my friends don’t understand me. my mother didn’t understand me. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. A rather sad.net 105 . I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. etc. etc. my kids don’t show me any respect.. my wife doesn’t understand me. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. and society actually encourages this thought. my husband ignores me. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. etc.

is powerful beyond belief. etc. can often help the other.net 106 . build self-confidence. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. we lose everything. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. September 26. The woman who has come out of a nasty. As stated in Woman’s World. If that is taken away from us . Simply. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security.who you are. never © Copyright 2003. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. Remember. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. eventually. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. feel more loved. For example. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. boost your mood.. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. bad relationship and can keep on going. If we take back control.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. it is the ability to enjoy life. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. Fixing a problem in one place though. beautiful heart and so much love to give. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. please. You had to be strong. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. each of us. etc. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. 2006.

So. depressed or negative. relieve pain.net 107 . © Copyright 2003. can change how your feel. your imagination. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. increase your self-confidence. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. Is essence. Use the power of your mind. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. If you are feeling down.

you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. The truth is. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. however. First one. alcohol. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.net 108 . you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes.) 3.. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. If. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. etc. 4. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. bleached flour. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. 5. Confusing. diet and weight. WORDS. included six small meals a day. the only diet that had ever worked for them. refined. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets.e. Not only that.W WEIGHT. scientists. it’s good again. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. before facts have actually been verified.

place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Do you associate a person. 8. Has your mother. 18. 9. Do you eat breakfast? 15. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. © Copyright 2003. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 7. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 19. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 17.net 109 .6. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 10. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 20.

Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. you know that as strange as it may sound. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You know © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. survivors. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. WRONG! Words have power. having said all that. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. You had to be strong. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it.Now. they include abandonment issues. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength.net 110 . It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. a lack of fulfillment. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. We heal from physical injuries. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. Abuse victims. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. satisfaction. confidence and happiness. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. by working it. More often than not. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. self-confidence. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be.

friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind.net 111 . take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. As a matter of fact. wife. Make some calls. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. intelligence and compassion. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. But when you are with someone you care about. This is why “words” do have so much power. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. When this occurs. throughout your life entire life. And for each of us. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. someone will answer. your talent. find out what you can do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Also. husband. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. I have to say this. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. scream and yell and swear all you want. but not only that. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. Your life depends on it After all. call out for help. words can hurt you. Vent when you are alone. dreams and desires. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. lover. this planet needs you. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. And that’s what venting to another is. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. But most of all. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. The same holds true for what you hear.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. But you are wrong. Think and dream about your future. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. keep your thoughts strong. wider and stronger each and every day. Once said they are out there forever.because I say it over and over again.

If you can do this. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. especially in interpersonal situations. © Copyright 2003. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. much like arthritis in wet weather. However. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis.withdraw into ourselves. Releasing sessions can work well with these. If you do not feel ready for that.net 112 . when things are going smoothly. can help. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.

Take a moment and let these images form clearly. binger or whatever. very clearly. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. DRINKER. what is different and better. And now let those images fade completely away. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. Whatever it is. You can choose to live your life. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. vibrant. healthy. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. strong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. drinker. you have a decision to make. Notice how you feel. Of these two possible futures in your life. the decision becomes easy. © Copyright 2003. You have the opportunity to see a different future. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. vital. drinking. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking.net 113 . Once you decide that you want to quit.X X SMOKER. BINGER ETC. What do you look like. clear skin. are you now sure which one you want. Make a promise to yourself. Before you make that decision. the body you want. Make a commitment and a decision. When you have done this. Wait 10-20 seconds. Wait 10-20 seconds. your energy will flow in that direction. doesn’t it?. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. clear and easy breathing. energy. Notice what you see. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly.

you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. your entire belief system. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. In making a choice. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. In every phase of your life you need to be aware.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. When you first begin to work your muscles. you may never receive it. happiness. For instance. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. a better job. © Copyright 2003. your life script. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. you always have a choice. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. joy. it does not mean you will receive it. Compare it to strength training.net 114 . The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. success. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making.com. So. Everything in life is a choice. you can only lift a small amount of weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. check it out at www. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie.com To me. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.According to Holly. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. © Copyright 2003. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be.net 115 .hollygleason. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. check it regularly. looking around.

cause. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. or ideal and the determination to further that person. An antonym is apathy. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. please do it with zeal and without apathy. cause. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor.net 116 . or ideal. intensity and passion. And always remember this.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. it means a diligent enthusiasm. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fight for your dreams and your goals.

Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal.net 117 . Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. To make this even more effective. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. There are 15 points.” and the “sore spot. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While you are doing these three karate chops. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for.” “gamut spot. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. © Copyright 2003. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. You can also visualize this word in your mind. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. you can use just one or two words.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 6. 3. 10.net 118 . TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 11. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. This is not a sentence.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. or AFRAID. fear. 12. 9. 2. but do each issue separately. or DEPRESSED. anxiety. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. You can go through the tapping process several times. Do what feels right for you. 5. or anything you want changed. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 8. 7.” © Copyright 2003. 4.

you open all pathways to love. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. As you do this.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. emotions. By burning away all anger and negativity.” And that’s all there is to it. © Copyright 2003. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. I love myself.net 119 . feelings. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. you also release all negative thoughts. And as your heart fire increases. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. uncross your arms and legs. hurt. And as your heart fire increases. ideas and beliefs within yourself. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. your connection with yourself is complete. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. resentment or negativity away. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs.

cleansing breath in and let it out. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. smell the salt. see the image). I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. Take yourself fully into this place. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. weeks.. heal yourself and relax yourself. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. smell it. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. allow that color to flow in and out as well. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. like salt. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. If another color comes to mind. anyplace. Then when you are ready. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hear it (i. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. hours.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. days. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4…….e. See it. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. Then imagine or visualize white granules.net 120 . hear the waves and the birds. months or even years to be released. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. If you feel like it and have the time. taking this time right now for myself. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. at the beach. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized.

happy and having fun together. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. thoughts and feelings. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. activity. relationship. my guy and I are in love. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain.net 121 . there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. or whatever it is your desire. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. You are in charge of your healing and your life. You are in control and in charge of your body. yourself. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Let go of all tightness within you. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. emotions.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. Here’s my snapshot. © Copyright 2003.

live in the moment and dream in the future.net 122 . The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I vibrate with positive energy. I choose to forget past mistakes now. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. positive delightful reality. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I keep saying ranch until that image. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I say to myself RANCH.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. © Copyright 2003. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. With my thoughts I create my new.

. 19. 7... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 56. 97...... 43............ 64... 72.. 6..... 127..... 47..... 46.. 24...... 5......... 27..... 24 eating disorders................8 Adrian Calabrese. 6.. 88.. 35.... 77................... . 129 food addictions..... 33.. 38..30.......125 anger .......... 93....21 Arreed Barabasz ... 89 balance ...... 103........... 9... 7.. 119... 89 fear 1............. 130 apprehension....... 43..... 73........... 114. 63............... 39.. 124 drinking... 114.. 98.... 33... 7.. 61. 45.. 6.. 83.. 130 epilepsy . 94. 94... 125..... 18... 4...... 42. 52..... 119................ 106. 79.............. 76.... 6. .. 95 © Copyright 2003.. 1. 28............ 75..1....... 2... 35. 10. 44.. 12.. 80... 65....... 41............. 122 chronic anger ..... 5..... 116............ 101. 35... 55 Dawn Abraham . 10.Index 12-step programs ..... 62.... 32................... 37...... 20.... 78... 22.. 59. 37... 109. 102........ 22. 47. 94.88 clarity 9. 112.. 122. 81..... 94. 96........ 57. 74.. 58......24... 29.24.. 72. 95... 55 emotional freedom technique . 52.. 104.... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 97. 105.. 27.... 63. 21........ 37... 36.2........ 35... 26. 44..... 34. 19. 44...... 126.....5.... 70.... 38.....9.... 60. 63. Ph..... 45...... 30 Eric Butterworth . 127.. 58.. 30....... 55.. 27. 79........... 30... 102..... 44. 26... 32...... 129 alcoholism.. 31... 77................. 78 affirmations..... 78. 104... 70. 81............. 126 adrenalin .. 12 Elvira Lang .... 130 focus............ 5.... 32.2.. 121 drug abuse..net i .. 84...... 71.. 21.. 78 chronic pain ......... 118 acute pain... 107 Cheryl O’Neil .....58 choice2....... 52. 77... 21....... 31............... 37.53........ 37......... 125 energy . 45....D.. 84.. 78 cortisol ........ 115...... 5..... 37..... 60........ 46...30 anchor .. 78.. 35.. 25... 44.. 71.. 95.. 110 communication ... 3 Alzheimer’s ......... 113.. 116 Bereavement ..... 76 desire..2.. 44...... 54.......... 5........ 7 attraction . 6.......... 36.... 116 disease..........2. 6... 2.... 128 anxiety 7........ 105 darkest hour .... 92.... 50....... 104... 16. 81... 109.....7... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross . 129 diet . 22.5......3. 73 depression .... 22.. 48......... 14...... 80.. 81..................86 Circle Therapy . 44... 86...... 97. 127........ 94..... 42....... 79 dream 1............ 99. 78 EFT . 96... 35..... 6...... 23.. 104..... 79 cancer....... 54...... 20..... 55.. 27.... 78.. 76............ 38.. 101... 91. 106. 113 Abraham Hicks ... 79 Carol Ginandes.. 90... 23... 46.. 78. 10 binging ....... 24.. 103. 15. Ph... 97. 21 David Spiegel..... 38...... 47.. 37........ 78 alternative programs . 74..... 117.. 121..... 8. 89.. 63.. 50.. 36.... 52..... 42. 112 compassion ...... 3 addiction ....... 71.. 5.......................... 128.............. 38........... 60.... 87.. 119 confidence.......... 94 baggage. 114... 4. 88..54 association .. 43............................D.. 36..1. 90.. 32. 46.. 53... 126.. 45.... 79...... 95... 4.. 129.. 6. 114..... 21.... 58. 60. 47... 21... 118 consciousness 8. 67.............. 48...... 35... 123......121 blood sugar . 43.. 39... 21. 6....5... 50... 76...... 32. 89......... 121.. 78. 89....107 abuse 5.. 76.38.. 104...... 3...... 78 E&P attraction ..... 35.. 36. 131 dreams 22.... 31.... 98... 81.......... 32. 96.. 36. 106.... 3. 21.. 28. 97....... 66. 25.. 21........ 23. 7.86 addict . 57.. 60.......... 94...... 91.. 78 forgiveness...... 90 coronary disease.. 8.. 74... 110. 102.5.. 114....... 71.. 97... 53.. 26... 41.......7. 56.. 94. 103.

.. 89 phobias...... 5...... 120...... 57.. 38..... 7..... 125 men . 5..... 22......... 13. 58...... 10.. 79.... 125.............. 88.... 78... 6...... 119... 94 mood swings .. 37. 6.. 42.......... 125 immune suppression ... 5.... 88... 32......... 6......... 103...40........ 78.. 101....... 36. 54....... 54.. 21............... 84.... 87..... 43. 10....... 77........ 58....... 43.. 84 panic attacks........ 83 overload .. 109..... 25........ 22.... 33........... 34.. 29.... 117 medicine..... 77..... 113..... 23... 4...... 44.. 21... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 17 Janet Luhrs.. 74....................10...... 29 neuro pathways . 53....2.... 39.. 110... 89......... 31................ 58... 13.. 27...... 86..... 129 grief.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.. 118.......... 66.5..... 116 happiness .. 37. 5... 6... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice.... 54........ 107 healing ..... 50.. 109. 50.. 56.3.....84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ... 112.... 107.. 57....... 47. 47.... 52. 75... 118.. 79... 6.... 47.................. 38........... 99.. 77... 78.... 60. 37..76 Hridaya Yoga.... 107... 46. 78.... 53...... 2...10....... 78............... 119. 120.... 89.37........ 77. 67.... 37. 127 hypersuggestible ........ 77........ 120 relaxation .8.....32 hypnotherapy ...... 77.. 56 hurt...... 21. 129 resentment.............. 58..........32 illness 36....10.. 15.... 56... 78..... 63.35 goal ..... 94.... 8. 93 message units ........... 32........ 79. 22..... 21... 59...........83 Law of Attraction...........net ii . 57.. 107... 77.... 22... 64.... 56.....5...... 83 nitric oxide ..... 69... 116... 79.. 43.. 103.. 113. 67. 39.....7. 122 Ida Kendall ........ 46.. 86... 37. 93...... 6 Pat Dennis..... 28........ 27...... 57.83 John Kappas.. 56........... 42... 45.... 79. 86. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ............ Woods ............ 49...... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ........ 78 NLP............... 32.........9..... 44.. 115...... 54........ 130 Judith DeLozier ..... 53... 60. 37...24.... 127.... 8..... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ......... 59.... 121 relationships24... 83 Robert Dilts.. 9..... 58. 1. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003. 83 Roger Callahan ........... 28........ 58... 101 self-image ... 42.. 30. 76.. 34. 35.......... 43..... 30..... 54....... 53........ 26... 30.. 37. 59..... 115................ 7.................. 30 passive-aggressive ...... 76... 94..9. 95......... 37 powerless ... 115 smoking.... 32 phobia . 110....12 habit ... 3...... 111.. 40......... 35....... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .......... 57 neural interconnections .......... 77....... 14.... 87............... 71 life force.. 63.... 78.........fulfillment .... 32. 10.. 58.... 15.......... 76.................. 58.. 102..... 43............ 117................. 78.... 55............. 95.54 Irina Wardas ...7. 121 snapshot . 123. 118...... 36.............. 129 heart disease.. 53........... 56.28 John Grinder . 87..... 19...... 10.... 89... 114................. 39... 53.... 81. 16... 78... 51.............. 6... 26...... 105... 83..............36 joy ... 47.. 9..... 30....... 29...... 109... 113 prosperity ....... 37 self-esteem . 105 Jane C...... 57........... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .... 85....... 122 Harvard .......... 128 Richard Bandler ... 22.......30 high blood pressure.....8 hypnosis .............. 64. 57....1. 43................. 118 self-talk . 65. 77... 122.......... 87 lose weight 4... 92. 127.. 36 Guilt . 118 Gary Craig ...24 Journal of Clinical Psychology....... 67. 114 imagery .... 99.. 65. 47.... 47.......... 79. 10. 109....... 35...... 128.......... 101... 7....... 59..... 86 habits..... 77....11. 37........ 38....... 59... 79. 108 Parkinson’s disease...... 110......

46.......... 75.. 80.......... 113..... 111 victimhood .. 77.... 110 Two Futures .. 106 wounds .... 45..........53 transformation.. 56.... 122... 91... 115..................net iii . 109....... 5.....107 trigger.. 85........ 79 thought habits ..... 47........... 21....... 43........ 112........ 116 Women...... 107..........4........ 37.......... 95.. 44....... 101............... 122 zeal....... 58............ 57.. 128 subconsciously.... 30.. 114 triggering event ...... 109... 120 suicide..... 48. 38.. 47........6.. 36. 2.... 37............... 77.... 30........ 78.. 6................... 109 triggers ....... 5... 95......28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ......... 114 visualization....... 7.... 39.. 6............ 34.......... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att............. 77.... 7. 60......44.. 124 © Copyright 2003............. 79. 6.... 77..............57 stress hormones .... 37............................... 26... 94. 85. 120 yummy list ................................. 59.......... 29...... 121 value areas of life.... 8. 118................ 84...... 78 subconscious. 34..... 10................ 125......... 78......Stephen Gilligan .... 22......... 114 weight ............ 65..... 59.83 Stephen Kosslyn .......5..............

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