This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. . Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. neuro pathways. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. emotions and perceptions. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. when given the proper instructions. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. feelings. As I said before. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise.
.......... AFFIRMATIONS................................................................................7 BALANCE.................................................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ......21 DEPRESSION....................................................................................35 FABULOUS.................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.................................... FEAR................................... ..........................................................................8 BALANCE ............... DIETING........ ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS................................................................................................. ENERGY .....31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)........................................ C....................1 ADDICTION ............................................18 COMMUNICATION ....................................... ANGER............................................................................26 DEPRESSION .. EMOTIONS............................... FOCUS........5 ANXIETY .................................................................................................................... E.................................................... ADDICTION...........2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .................................................................................................................32 EMOTIONS......................3 ANGER ...32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).......................... FORGIVENESS...........................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE .....................................................................8 CHANGE............................................ FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ..................................................... D.....................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ..............................34 ENERGY ... ANXIETY.......46 B.....................................37 FEAR ..........40 FOCUS .....................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.........................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ..........37 FABULOUS ......................... F..........................................................................................................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ...........................46 SMART GOALS ...................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE .................3 AFFIRMATIONS......... G..........26 DIETING ..... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE..................................................43 GOALS .......................... BEREAVEMENT .............
............78 OVERLOADED LIFE .........................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.49 HEART FIRE ................ HYPNOSIS...............................54 INTUITION................................................63 KARMA .............................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS......................84 I.....................................................59 JEALOUSY......................................49 HEALING .................................77 OVERLOAD....65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ..........................................................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)......................................................51 HYPNOSIS.................................................................................................................................................................................56 JEALOUSY ............................78 PAIN................65 LIFE............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... MIND SUCCESS ..........................................................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ...............................70 MALE DEPRESSION............... J......82 PROSPERITY ........................... PHOBIAS.... PROSPERITY ................... P..................................54 IMAGERY.. N...................................................... KISMET ... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)................................................. O............................................ ..............................................68 LUCK ..................67 LOVE....... HEALING...................69 MALE DEPRESSION.......................72 MIND SUCCESS ..............................80 PAIN...81 PHOBIAS ......... LUCK ..... PERCEPTION..................................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION. Q.................................................................................................. M......................................... L..................................................... LOVE.80 PERCEPTION ....................................................................................... LIFE.....63 KISMET ... INTUITION................... K...................................59 KARMA............................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ........................H....................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION..............52 IMAGERY......................................................................
ii......................94 SELF CONFIDENCE..................108 WORDS......... Y....................................... U................................................................................................ X........... WORDS... Z.......................................................................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ............................................................................. W.................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ........... VICTIMHOOD...............................................................................................................................................................................R.......... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS...........................................................................................106 WEIGHT......................................... VISUALIZATION..... BINGER ETC ..........................................................86 RELEASING .............110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS).122 INDEX ..........................108 WEIGHT ...94 SELF-TALK.......... RELEASING..............94 STRESS .....................................................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ............................................................ EXERCISES .............86 RELATIONSHIPS . SELF-TALK...................................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ...........................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE....................................................96 STUCK .... WOUNDS .................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE..........................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.............95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE................. YUMMY LIST ...................... T.........101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.............117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS........................................................................................................ V........................................................................................................ iii .......................... RELATIONSHIPS...............116 S......................111 X SMOKER............................ i..................................................................................... STUCK ........113 TWO FUTURES ...........................103 VALUE AREAS.............. DRINKER..101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ................................104 VISUALIZATION .................................................................114 ZEAL ....................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).............................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ..........................
satisfying. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. excitement and yes. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. it is filled with laughter. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. In order to make changes. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. AFFIRMATIONS. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. The future. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. usually as a result of fear. As a result. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. Even when we know we have this tool. © Copyright 2003. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. ADDICTION. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. a life that is rich and full. fear of failure. Fear of change. indeed. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. even worse. money and success. Because of this. NewBeginnings email@example.com 1 . but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. we don’t trust it to be real. incident. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. think we are making progress or stagnating. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. It is our perception of any event. love. fear of success.A ABUNDANCE. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. occurrence. ANGER. however. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever.
Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is important though. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. you do have a choice. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. cocaine. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. so. helps them suppress the pain. however.e. however. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. the more vibrant and alive you become. at least while they are using their drug. A tempo that is magnetic. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain.net 2 . living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. at least for a while. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. and life just gets better and better. Allow that desire to flow through you. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. Unfortunately. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do..The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. the more connected you feel. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Your first step. no matter what program you are going through. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. alcohol. who you can call when you feel you might slip. i. People without strong desires slowly whither away. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful.
” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. you will forever remain an addict. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. the addict. However. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. though. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.passagesmalibu. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.secularsobriety. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt.com www. but you don’t have to. www. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. then you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003.net 3 . We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. so. When you face this pain that you have been running from. Many people. The sooner we realize and accept that.org www.practicalrecovery. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. I agree with this school of thought. A friend of mine once told me. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.habitdoc.com www. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. if it is not done. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible.
the steering wheel of your car. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. Don’t let fear hold you back. that’s like moving uphill. When you do this.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. not what you want to avoid. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing.” Or say. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” Or “I will lose weight.net 4 . If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. Always create an image of what you want in your life. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. So. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. • Always remember this. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. When you move towards what you want. always focus on what you want to move towards. when what you really mean is. © Copyright 2003. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. • Be specific. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.” • State your affirmations in the positive. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. your computer. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. then that means you are on the right track.” the message sent to your mind. If necessary. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again.
You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion.net 5 . hurt. eating disorders. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. alcoholism. In addition. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. anger is the most common response. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. you may blame others for your situation or condition. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. crying. then anger becomes a serious health risk. looking for justice and revenge. and heart palpitations. In situations that cause fear. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. fatigue. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. resentment. Holding onto anger. When this is the case. can lead to serious food addictions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. along with mourning. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. When a relationship ends. shaking. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. cold hands. So. you may see yourself as an avenger. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. But some people seem to be angry all the time. it can be just as damaging. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. Even if we bury anger deep inside. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. going from one trauma to the next. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. drug abuse and depression. and in small doses can be a good thing. hostility. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. If you see yourself as a victim. Not only is this destructive to you. If you don’t see yourself as a victim.
bitterness. it will never go away. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. and even increased workplace injuries. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. and can help make you more content. however. Power and anger are frequently related. sarcastic. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. releasing your anger. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. coronary disease. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”.net 6 . and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. cancer. but anger that may be directed at you by others. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. In the past. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. Unfortunately. © Copyright 2003. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. If you feel powerless. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. and can lead to serious food addictions. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. Remember. expressing your anger in an indirect way. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. Also. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. fear and hurt. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. and depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. alcohol and drug abuse. and stubborn. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. suicide.
phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used.). By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. driving a car. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. © Copyright 2003. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. Also. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. fear or anxiety. nausea.net 7 . anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. shakiness. mood swings. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. etc. Fears. weakness. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. fear or anxiety. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. flying. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. being home alone.
There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Sometimes we need reminders. let them be a reminder to look inside. The problem was. a perfect balance. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. Happiness. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. getting involved with a church. then it would make him happy as well. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. There isn’t another person. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. No matter what you hear.B BALANCE. Just think about that a moment. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. it didn’t work. Twelve hours of day and night. I told him the usual stuff. right? Yes and no. Good advice. then he’d really truly be happy. you know. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. that happiness must come from within ourselves. place or thing that can make you happy. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy.net 8 . No one can tell you how to be happy.
You are able to access your subconscious. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. our voice. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. and in doing so. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. Whether it’s an emotion.co. Woods. desire. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. It will. But even more than that. That means stop analyzing everything so much. if we are angry. to balance the light and dark within yourself. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. fulfillment and life find you. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. job or whatever you are seeking. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. They allow you to clear out the old. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. In this state. lover. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. jane@changingpeople. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feeling. even the words we use. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. goal. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. No matter how hard we may try. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. happiness.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. the right kind of suggestions. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. working for you.net 9 . stop thinking it to death.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area.
that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. just a little. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved.the intensity and duration may differ. However. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. for example. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. It is an immutable part of the human condition.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. letting relevant people know. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. you must do what is right for you. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. To a degree that can be true. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it.net 10 . and so on. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. and generally we prefer not to think about it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. © Copyright 2003. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. That said.
punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do.net 11 .Denial A second common response. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. For example. disconcertingly. uncaring. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. we may need to be told several times. © Copyright 2003. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. a normal response. or those suffering alongside us. Some enlightened doctors know. when they are breaking bad news to patients. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. “If I do this. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. once the first shock waves have abated. and just plain wrong. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. We may need evidence. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Often that is enough. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. recognizing it and naming it. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. or for feeling angry. It is unrealistic but again. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. we may be compelled to visit the scene. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Help them tell you their feelings. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. is a refusal to believe the news.
net 12 . There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. like fundraising for a particular charity. You cannot short circuit this process. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. was decreed. and even our clothing. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. when our behaviour. For example. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. even perhaps depressed. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. I have lost someone significant in my life’. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. just let it go. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. how to manage our grief. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief.
But actually. However hard it is. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. You may find. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. If you need a hug. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. So. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. feeling there is no point. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. such as excessive use of alcohol. we begin to move on. Let close friends offer you comfort. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. © Copyright 2003. ask them. not in any sense. you never go right back to the beginning. which can be a comfort. People want to help but they often don’t know how. we experiment with new ways of behaving.net 13 .a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. and this will of course vary from person to person. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. This does not mean forgetting them. in this phase. however it feels. be it with a handshake or a hug. Experiment At some point. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs.
whether for you personally. be it lighting candle. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. Again. surrounded by people. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. ritual can be helpful at this time. as I have said. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Make your peace with that and all will be well. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. be it taking some homemade food round. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. If you can. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Of course. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Helping In Western culture.” © Copyright 2003.net 14 . a card sincerely written. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. I hope it has been helpful however. take medical advice. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. taking flowers to an appropriate place. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so we need to use our discretion. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Knowing this can help you plan for it. Literally. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. or an offer of help with the shopping.
This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. we can get very fed up. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. some research based. depending on the severity of the change. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us.net 15 .co.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. almost no one likes it. some anecdotal. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. even depressed. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. This phase goes on for ages or not too long.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Sometimes. Woods. and some simply telling you how to do it. Finally. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depending on the change. jane@changingpeople. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Just remember this. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same.C CHANGE. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Sometimes. Some people embrace change and some resist it.
someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Finding they are. © Copyright 2003. You are feeling bright and chirpy. Worse. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. “What?” you say. You are speechless at first. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. It may ring a bell with you. A Story Here is a short story about change. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. However. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there.net 16 .
Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. For example. no one but you is going to see this. For example. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. vulnerable.. yes. Use two different colours if you like. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. angry. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. or determined to make more effort. did it make you sad. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. That is a fact to record on the top line.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. So. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below.But then. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change.net 17 . but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. and. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. joy of joys. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. don’t just focus on the negatives. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague.
retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. For example. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. Similarly with our responses to change. But as the sun rises. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. our responses to change are individual and personal. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. Sometimes. © Copyright 2003. as the dawn progresses. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise.net 18 . no one makes us feel anything. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. overloaded message units and repressed fears. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. Dawns. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. however. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. while another may be much more fatalistic. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. Actually. our thoughts. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. and therefore our feelings. At first. They begin almost imperceptibly. Then. The same principle applies to you. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. are funny things. However. Obviously. another to frown and feel aggrieved. One may approach it in a positive way. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people.
detailed imprint of what you desire. you start to believe it yourself.net 19 . resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. Giving you the feeling of freedom. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. you are in essence training your mind. but will actually consider them an order. remember “dawn” can and will happen. Unfortunately. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. confidence. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. see the right path. clumsy. © Copyright 2003. given enough time and repetition. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. you do not need to feel this way. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. Ultimately. relaxation. need or want. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”.anxiety and emotions. If you are starting to feel anxious. apprehension and fear. confused or fearful. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Be absolutely clear about what you want. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. inept. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. When this happens. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. even our physical health and well being. however.
you need to be aware. in addition. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. it is a journey. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call.” So live your life fully. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. realizing all the possibilities available to you. so. As Abraham Lincoln once said. If you want a New Beginning. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. all of your life. abundance. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. want and desire. yoga. does and will continue to offer you what you need. you are actually living the life you want. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Trust that the Universe has. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. It’s the life in your years. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. with clarity. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller.achieving prosperity. then the real fun can start. you always have a choice. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. mold them and do it over and over again. confidence and trust. You will feel stronger. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. It does make a difference.net 20 . Guide them. Know that no matter what things might look like. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life.
It is important not to go looking for your sign. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. © Copyright 2003. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. our answers are all around us. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. courage. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. look and listen. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. yellow balloon. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived.knowing. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. dolphins .net 21 . Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. The problem is that we communicate differently. I truly believe that faith. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. engage and listen.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest.
Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. So. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. they will answer yes or no. It is the physical who yells. if you ask a physical if they are cold. is so much more than simple questions. enjoys spur of the moment activities. whatever when upset. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. people don’t realize just how true this is. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. An example would be. but E&P affects.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. it isn’t. possibly even throws things when angry. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. and how natural and normal this is. however. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. among other things. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. Communication.net 22 . In relationships. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cries. screams. the way we communicate with each other. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. © Copyright 2003. how they can come apart. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. These two types. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. First. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. opposites really do attract. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section.
causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Words have power. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. We heal from physical injuries. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. you can see how this could be problematic. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Remember though. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. This E&P communication.The same thing occurs when communicating. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. the more the physical pushes. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. You had to be strong. Conversely. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Since we tend to project our thoughts. they can ruin lives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. It becomes a vicious circle. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. self-confidence. © Copyright 2003.net 23 . Also. however is just one part of communication. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack.
If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. You know because I say it over and over again. wider and stronger each and every day. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. beautiful heart and so much love to give. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. but not only that. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. bad relationship and can keep on going. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. by working it. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. someone will answer. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. © Copyright 2003. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Make some calls. As a matter of fact. intelligence and compassion. is powerful beyond belief. throughout your life entire life. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you.net 24 . But most of all. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. call out for help.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. dreams and desires. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. each of us. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. this planet needs you. find out what you can do. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. your talent. But you are wrong. Also. keep your thoughts strong. The same holds true for what you hear. The woman who has come out of a nasty. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Your life depends on it After all. This is why “words” do have so much power. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. leave. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Think and dream about your future.
words can hurt you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. wife. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. But when you are with someone you care about. © Copyright 2003.Each of us. scream and yell and swear all you want. husband. And that’s really what venting to another person is. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. words can destroy you. our child. Once said they are out there forever. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. Vent when you are alone.net 25 .
anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. conditions and illnesses. and just like any other habit. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. Miller goes on to stress. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. if we want to.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. thought patterns and thought habits. suicidal feelings. In fact. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. AND -. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup.it is created. depression. Mood is affected by dozens of genes.even into very advanced old age. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. Researchers like Dr. According to Dr.net 26 . DIETING. Jill Ammon-Wexler. sleep problems and/or exhaustion.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. however.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. if this work fulfills its potential. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. In addition.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. Dr. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. According to Dr. © Copyright 2003. As research continues in this area. No one is born with such a brain -. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. but in essence they are just like any other habit.D DEPRESSION. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. “unhappy”. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. etc. though. healthy muscles. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. even more importantly. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. what we say to ourselves.use it or lose it. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. What it does understand. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”.net 27 . fulfilled life. What we think.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. © Copyright 2003. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. I don’t want to be around negative people. Think about that a moment. I just want to be happy. “disappointed in my relationships”. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience….
Fixing one problem can often help the other. 2005. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. When there is negative thinking. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). stroke and Alzheimer’s. whether it is physical or emotional. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. including cancer.” observes Dr. Woman’s World. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. Pay attention to what you are thinking.D. with the aid of hypnosis. Parkinson’s disease. 100 times more. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. When you can take a truth and internalize it.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. Ph. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Bruce Cohen. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. on a subconscious level. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. Massachusetts. Reflect on the positive. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is originating on a deeper.net 28 . “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. October 18. epilepsy. heart disease. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things.. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. Take responsibility for your thoughts. So. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. it will continue to go on. reflect on the contrary. subconscious level. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life.
net 29 . The truth is. according to the New York Times. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. but in addition. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Confusing. The first diet included six small meals a day. people. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. When most of us think about diet and weight. sometimes to death. never a comparison with all the other studies. First we were told that fat. any kind of fat.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. then we were told maybe it isn’t. test or theory. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). Chocolate was bad for you. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the second diet was only three meals a day. and these are serious issues indeed. diet and weight. Part of one study. especially in the United States. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. © Copyright 2003. and of course. is bad for you. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). particularly among our young people. we just don’t want to do it. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. now again we are hearing. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. especially our young women. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. And throughout all of it. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. it seems as if all the doctors. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. we are really only getting part of the story. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight.
we tend to carry around baggage from our past. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. a lack of fulfillment. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. it can include abandonment issues. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. © Copyright 2003. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. satisfaction. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. confidence or happiness. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. With the internet available to all of us. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine.net 30 . One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. weight issues are rarely just about weight. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. and getting the right kind of support and advice. Releasing negative thoughts. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. Knowledge is indeed power. As we live our lives. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. by taking control of our thoughts. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. In fact. both emotional and physical. one of the first things I tell them is. Just as with any weight. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior.
If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. what does your world look like.Knowledge. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. what do you see. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. Look at yourself. So wonderful. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. in fact. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. though is not just about external fact. You can continue the work on your own. This is. i. I keep going back to this one phrase.e. fear. though just an illusion. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. take control of your thoughts and change your life. what do you think about. observe how you feel. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. If you don’t like it.. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. that we keep going back to it.net 31 . © Copyright 2003. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release.com.
resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. © Copyright 2003. ENERGY. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. fear. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you.net 32 .E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. EMOTIONS. As I’ve written before. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. any negative experience. depression. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. anger. posttraumatic stress disorder. has no value of its own. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. including depression. Not a hypothetical path. anxiety. a negative experience itself. addictions and phobias. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. general stress.
In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. With or without hypnosis. and more importantly. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remember. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. EFT can help with both the cravings. to addiction. deprivation. With regard to addictions. emptiness and anxiety. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness.net 33 . What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. do not use self-hypnosis. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. © Copyright 2003. As stated earlier. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. understanding the negative experience is not enough. weight loss to pain and illness. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. In addition. war trauma or severe physical illness.
But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. resentment. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. meditation. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. but our physical health as well. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. hurt. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.net 34 . fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. It can even be linked to suicide.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. hostility. One such study by Dr. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. Ryke Geerd Hamer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By forgiving. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. hurt and unforgiveness. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. For example. Likewise. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. even more importantly. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. accidents and increased workplace injuries.
it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. etc). pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. pathogens. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. white flour. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. that we are out of balance. but it is not. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. In addition to nurturing your mind. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. vaccines. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. Throughout this book you will find theories. exposure to toxic substances. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. seems somewhat contradictory. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts.specifically. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. such as genetics. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. In most cases of cancer. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer.net 35 . diet. etc. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. whole grains. it prevents depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
stress. © Copyright 2003. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Hypnosis can help you. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. but balance will return. While listening to your hypnotherapist. So. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. imagery. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy.who have the ability to relax more fully. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing.net 36 . if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. or an inability to let go and just relax. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
© Copyright 2003.carotenoids in carrots. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. Increase your intake of fish. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. Their phytonutrients . Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. aiming for 30 to 50 times. FOCUS. primary by reducing the inflammation. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest.net 37 . Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Fiber. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. Eat the right foods. Chew properly. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. safflower and vegetable oils. garlic liberally. turmeric. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. FEAR. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. until the food becomes liquid. Healthy fats. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. 2. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. Fruits and vegetables and spices. soy.F FABULOUS. which as we know reduce inflammation. whole grains. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. try counting the chews in each bite. Drink more water. The indigestible parts of fruits. nuts. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food.
Eat homemade food. chew. Losing weight gradually . Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. our skin. take deep breaths.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. As a matter of fact. Any form of exercise helps. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. Breathe. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. our organs. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. our tissues. Detox is a relative term. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. which creates less gas. 4. But breathing is also effective.) If under pressure at meals. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. Sweat – cleans up your system. but so will saunas and hot baths.net 38 . Pesticides. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Our blood is what creates our cells. The solution: Sweat. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). 6. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. 5. 3. our hair. chemicals from manufacturing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Regular exercise should make you sweat. Detox.
boost mood. grains.consists of slow. Tai chi -moving meditation . Have a home-made facial. improving your healthy well-being. 9. our relationships.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. bread. meats. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Laugh. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. fats. etc. 7. Have sex. refined flours. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. diary products. relaxes your body. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. 8. Take the laughter yoga class. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. 10.net 39 . and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. © Copyright 2003.it is delicious. I call it facial meditation.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. fried foods. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. focused. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. you sure can laugh at one. and improve overall health. hydrogenated fats. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. our jobs. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. Even if you can’t tell a joke. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness .
Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. mood swings. though.naturalcounselor. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. that one thing. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. a short while. FEAR: fear of change. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. or even worse. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. fear of failure. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. it keeps us from making a big mistake. what we expect. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. insomnia or lack of energy. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night.net 40 . one thing seems to come up most frequently. healthy and joyous life you want. That one thing is FEAR. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. fear of success.
in order to be an adult. career and health because you are afraid of failing. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. the more vibrant and alive we become. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. Something that is important to you right now. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. But. for the most part. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. Be honest. friends and lovers live this kind of life.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. As children we were free to play. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. People without strong desires slowly whither away. relationships. Your goals must be your very own. We were told to grow up. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. and grow up. instead. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. and life just gets better and better. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. © Copyright 2003.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. the world of adults. have a reasonably happy life. get out your list and read it again. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. we were told to leave those dreams behind. If you haven’t done so already. as we grew older. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. we have chosen. afraid of disappointment. pretend and let our imaginations soar. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. we are afraid to dream.net 41 . concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. write down your goals and if you did write them down. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. 2. This is wrong. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. When you have specific. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). the more connected we feel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
net 42 . you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. breathing things. it’s hard to focus.3. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. though. You know. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Use them. Remember the Power of Affirmations. life coach or whomever and ask for support. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. When you say your affirmations out loud. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if your goal is to run a marathon. a powerful tool. laughing. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. If you have not asked for support much in the past. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. 4. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Focus. FOCUS Look around you. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. crying and so on. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. 5. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. As an example. push yourself to ask for help now. parent. Sometimes. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. doing something together. even though we would gladly give it if asked.
we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. confront the situation as needed. affirmative statements. success and fulfillment. sight. and its effects may be positive. touch. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. interpersonal and relationship problems. The subconscious processes everything. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. smell and hearing. When we go through periods of stress.net 43 . This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. psychological imbalances. though. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. that release. recorded on brain and body cells. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. resentment or anger. negative or neutral to our mental. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. whether asleep or awake. health. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. physical and emotional well-being.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. forgive and accept forgiveness. you are bombarded with millions of message units. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. it still exists in our subconscious. though. Over time. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. During the course of a day. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. It disables your emotional resources. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better.taste. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. our subconscious is able to do this for us. This is commonly referred to as memory. Luckily. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. and continues to affect our lives to some degree.
he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. existing situation. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. During the Releasing session. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. 6. They are also © Copyright 2003. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. tears. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Once learned. 3. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. Even when we sleep long hours. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. 4. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way.net 44 . we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. 5. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. 2.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. fear and anxiety. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. laughter and perspiration. This not only applies to a current. anger. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0.
the Releaser is asked to state.” 7.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. including health care professionals and clergy. and your body and life are the printout. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. 8. disappointment. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. the brain is your biological computer. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. such as anger. function as a computer operator. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. sadness. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. As people from all backgrounds. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. “I release (relevant emotions.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself.). etc. © Copyright 2003. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. however. and feeling great. can be done alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session.net 45 . After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. have learned. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. once learned. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. as a Soul.
I don’t know about you.net 46 . the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. meaningful and exciting. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. not only does life get depressing. You choose what you want in your life. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. Think of it as a game. fun. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. though. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your current life situation. not really happy. If you think about anger. thoughts and ideas. Conversely. Not only in your own relationships. take the color blue for example. if you think about a color. After you’ve done this. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. This same principle works the same way for emotions. We find ourselves drifting along.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. A really simple way to test this theory is this. Sometimes. an activity or a thing. Each of us is already whole. Without goals. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. “I don’t know what I want. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. A state of being is not an emotion. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. a diversion to keep life interesting. whether it is an emotion. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. something that is crucial to goal setting. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger.
doesn’t mean I can have him. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. He’s got free will just as we all do. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. it just means you make an adjustment. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. But you can’t manifest everything you want. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. responsible. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. If you do this regularly. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. achievable in all areas of life Realistic.net 47 . simple Measurable. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. sometime weekly. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. it would be a boring and scary world. they will never be overwhelming. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). change is the whole point. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. Adjustments are a good thing. not if you want to improve your life. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. Don’t forget about free will. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. keeps us feeling alive. © Copyright 2003. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily.
set those goals. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.Remember.net 48 . So. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.
lower blood pressure. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. In a pilot study published in 1999. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind.H HEALING. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways.net 49 . director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. Ph. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Working from the inside out. turning some functions on and others off. relieve depression and so much more. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. visualization and positive suggestions. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. and help strengthen the immune system. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. imagery. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. releasing negative thoughts.D. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. by using specific. speed up healing after surgery. © Copyright 2003. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. As David Spiegel. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose.. It can help relieve pain.
April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. Every 15 minutes. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking.net 50 . and the third received standard care. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. Arreed Barabasz. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. that’s because it is. though. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. in terms of levels of pain. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. © Copyright 2003. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. soothing kind of treatment. anxiety and the need for painkillers. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. empathic care provider and hypnosis.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. The suggestions.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. During the operation. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy .
“It’s not just a fantasy. the hypnotized patients used less medication. which could account for heightened attention. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others.” says Spiegel. While in the trance. realizing all the possibilities available to you. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. Spiegel and Lang found. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. And this list goes on and on.net 51 . Once again. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. psychologists say. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks.” says Marc Schoen. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. the brain’s manager and planner.” Using imaging technology. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. On average. involving more than 330 patients. experienced less pain. If you think you are seeing color. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. In effect. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. you actually see it. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. A journey that you can now control. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. then the real fun can start. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex.
you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. Try it once and feel the results. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. unpleasant. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. though. Each incident throughout the day affects us. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Sometimes. this spark can grow a little dim. © Copyright 2003. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. As we each move through life. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 52 . resentment. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. We have to cope with irritating. All life starts as a spark. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. When I say fuel. you can do this exercise while awake. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. hurt. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. fear. hurt. My purpose is to help them remember. Some little problem or some big problem. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. tension and minor frustrations. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger.jealously. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. Problems that we encounter every single day. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. we each have to deal with something. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. stress. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. rude or just plain nasty people. With a bit of practice.
some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. anything at all about yourself. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Some pleasant. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. Try hypnosis. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. feel or react. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. not only will you feel better immediately.net 53 . He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. comfort. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. more positive thoughts.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. relaxed. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. you create a vivid. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. a professor of psychology at Harvard. and much better about yourself. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think.” Using hypnosis. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. you will feel refreshed. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. clarity. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. © Copyright 2003. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. but the results will amaze and delight you. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. If there is anything in your world. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. euphoria and control of your life again. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. however. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. every message unit. The more visual and real you make your goal. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. As a result. According to Stephen Kosslyn.
I IMAGERY. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Conversely. good or bad.. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. once wrote.” What we think. etc. who I especially admire. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. etc. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. and change your life . boost your mood. what we say to ourselves. Simply put. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. failure or success. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. heal your body. www. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Your ability to overcome obstacles. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. What we experience as feelings. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you.is determined by the thoughts you think. fixing a problem in one place. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. 2006. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. build self-confidence. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. feel more loved. depressed © Copyright 2003. More and more doctors as well as patients. create passionate relationships. September 26. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. can often help the other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Cheryl O’Neil.cheryloneil. The brain is simply another organ in your body. However. fear or confidence. mend your ways. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy.net 54 . As stated in Woman’s World. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. Never. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Self Esteem. “What we think about we bring about. The fourth part is training your mind. Private & Group Coaching. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Law of Attraction.qualifiedlifecoach. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. You rise above thinking in mediation. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Another way I practice is with elevators. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Motivation. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. You know that saying. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. 98% of the time I am right.net 58 . Abundance. Meditation.com. use a deck of cards. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Reiki. Go with your first impression you get from each card. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.com © Copyright 2003.
It is an immediate knee jerk reaction.net 59 . To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. It is essential to communicate clearly. You want to stop what you are feeling. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. envy.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. in control of yourself and your partner. You want revenge. no matter what that entails. You want to see them become more of who they are. Often. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. and if so. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. and grow. succeed. delusions. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. If you can cool down. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. You are angry. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. projections. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. That’s the truth of love. you may go into a rage. You feel violated. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. enjoy their life. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003.
In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you cannot. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. the jealousy resides within you. If you move inward and look at yourself. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. not within the relationship. It does not. You can give yourself the gift. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If you can do this. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. If your relationship is based on Attachment. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. © Copyright 2003. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture.net 60 . layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you cannot make a person love you. Jealousy is like an onion.
there is nothing to feel guilty about. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. We think that we should be able to rise above it. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Projection. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. This is natural and normal. Look at your beliefs. the truth behind what you are feeling. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Another layer can be guilt. This insight. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger.net 61 . The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. we find envy. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. The truth is that for most of us. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. You do not own it. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. Going down to an even deeper layer. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. you can reach self-awareness. Look at the reality. This is projecting. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. guilt or anger. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Another layer is projection. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. really look and analyze them. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. envy. It is their own. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. These all grow out of expectation.
you can watch that love radiate out for all. When you attempt to possess another person. You do not need to experience jealously. © Copyright 2003. They come from our past. Hypnosis can help. fear of not being worthy of love. Fear of loss. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. then what you are experiencing is not love. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. look deep within yourself at these feelings. You become vulnerable. frequently they are not real. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You can choose to move away from those feelings. you become yourself possessed. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. Open your heart and mind to it. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. By looking deep within. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. fear of being alone. Perhaps you fear abandonment.net 62 . but attachment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. Surrender to it. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. If you find yourself doing this. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. Once you release the anger. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. When you love. they still don’t meet your expectations. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. If you are experiencing jealously. our childhood. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. and let that be who you are. If you love someone. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. let that guide you. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. the resentment and the hurt. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood.
if you prefer. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. but generally the concept is basically the same. present and future and because of this. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Most people © Copyright 2003. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. all of which determine our future. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form.net 63 . Jain. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. There is no judgment involved. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t.K KARMA. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Just a thought. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. or alternatively. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life.
stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. As stated above. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. If you are not satisfied with your life. In the Shang dynasty in China. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. Step in. fate and destiny are not the same. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. but fate makes no allowance for free will. saint or seer. Fate implies no choice. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. participate and change the direction you are heading. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. prophet. In the belief systems of many cultures. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be.associate Destiny with fate.net 64 . © Copyright 2003. which is a huge component of the human psyche. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history.
I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. LOVE. The concept of the law of attraction is. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. that can help you with exactly that. LIFE. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. What ever it is.” It’s about where you put your focus. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. © Copyright 2003. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want.00 a year income. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. “Let the chips fall where they may”. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. For example. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative.000. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. “What you think about will happen in your life. The old saying. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. is a good analogy.net 65 . start by writing it down. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad.L LAW OF ATTRACTION.
Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. etc. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. Now the key here is to follow up with this. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. don’t panic. you then attracted it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. There is something there to be learned or gained. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. now grab it. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. pay attention. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. allowing it to happen is vital. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. You asked for what you wanted. Now that you have set this up. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. talk to those people. pay attention to what happens next. You have made it clear.net 66 . They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. I promise you it will show up.
originally thought of. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. Go to my web site for more information. you used them to learn about yourself. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. You never. who has no idea that she is. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. www. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. she said “You didn’t waste those years. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you.com. It is never wasted and it is never lost. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years.qualifiedlifecoach.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative.in a different package. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. a very wise woman.” And I realized as she told me this. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. She told him something I want to share with all of you. tele-classes and resources are offered. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. The sooner we realize and accept that. Individual Coaching. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. Not only that. life is messy. that is the Universe telling you go…. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this.net 67 . I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. maybe © Copyright 2003. So live your life. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. Group Coaching. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.
living this life to experience love. © Copyright 2003. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. Definition: To pity. you are perfect. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. romance. I was reminded recently. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. trust . First. all kinds of love. some which I like and others not so much. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. A noun. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. often including a desire to help. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” When we talk about compassion. then.net 68 . partnered. com·pas·sion. v. married or alone. but yes. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. Compassion (Com-pas’sion).just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. never have. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. I know. sex. t.] Shak. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. I’m not sure why exactly. healing. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. dating. compassion and faith. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. [Obs.
Another thing that is so important to remember. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. measurable phenomenon. someone around you. in the process. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. Give yourself a break. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. with all their faults. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). heal others and yourself.net 69 . © Copyright 2003. lazy or self-indulgent. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. one that you can get behind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. as well. nobody can make it for you. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious.K. Luck is a real. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. Instead of listening to that old record. My only question to your would be this. those we live with. and. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. can start to love themselves as well. work with or just come into contact with. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. that negative voice in your head. then maybe. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. then someone else.
The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another.net 70 . The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. M. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. and so do the ideal treatments. And yet. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. or even make the depression worse. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. Depression can manifest in many different forms. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become.e. sex. “Depression may look like a single disease. As Dr. but the underlying causes vary. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem.M MALE DEPRESSION. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. In the past. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. In addition.D. the depression and the cause of that depression. certainly not for a real man.. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. February 26. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. with all these statistics facing us.” Michael Craig Miller. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. During the past 50 years. 2007 article. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. This can make treatment especially difficult. (Harvard Medical School).
During the course of this journey and these detours. helping you regain strong mental-health. As I quote above. smooth and without bumps or potholes. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy.. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. Ph. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. Using © Copyright 2003. When you recognize that this is occurring. resentment. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. When you release the hurt. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. This is not easy. fear. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. the healing process. There are detours that we must take. however. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. love and happiness beyond measure. without wanting or meaning to. With the aid of hypnotherapy. When this occurs. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. difficult and painful process.D. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. Woman’s World. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. without help. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Edward M. you take back control of your own life. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. hurt. 2005. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health.net 71 . Hallowell. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Working from the inside out. As Dr. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. Sometimes. bitterness. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. fear or anger that you are experiencing. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. October 18. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. guilt and depression.
This has been proven by Dr. © Copyright 2003. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. hostility. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. but our physical body as well. alcoholism. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. hurt. a German physician. eating disorders. Holding onto anger. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. including diet. With the help of 20. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Ryke Geerd Hamer. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. In addition. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. can lead to serious food addictions. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. drug abuse and depression. meditation.net 72 . pathogens. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Dr. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries.000 brain scans. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. resentment. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences.
guide them in a positive direction. etc. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. Meditation works. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and © Copyright 2003. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Success is a process of continually learning new information. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts.exposure to toxic substances. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Success is largely an inner game. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. keeping track of what is working and what is not.net 73 . I have been there and there is a way out. but to your thoughts as well. use it and use it frequently. thought or image. and this applies to any negative emotion. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. vaccines. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. Believe me. In addition to nurturing your mind. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. This is a way of thinking. white flour. if you focus on anger. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. whole grains. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). yoga can help. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. Ph.D. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. etc). It requires that you develop a success mind. anger is what you will bring into your life.
possibility is in the dreaming. This is one of the laws of success. fear of failure. learn from your mistakes. Gather new information. make adjustments along the way. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. inventor. fear of hard work. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. but also change the world. The success mind trains itself to ask. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. you simply need to start. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. generate new ideas. and create new realities. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. fear of what other people will think. Take action. conditioning. exploring one more option or opportunity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. While success requires action. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. fear that we are not good enough. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Develop a process to examine your fears. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. and keep moving forward.net 74 . Yet. © Copyright 2003. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. see unlimited possibilities. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. You will have to change to be successful. the less we fear them. Take time to dream. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. Fear of change. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. foster creativity. or successful businessperson. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. hardship. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). and failure. if you talk to any star athlete. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail.
the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. try on new perspectives.net 75 . It is never too late to develop your success mind. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. As you do this. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Question. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. experience. adventure.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. The time to begin is now. your world and your success. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. your feelings. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Remember. form opinions. and success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. challenge. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. and grow. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. create. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. your actions. you likely will feel fear. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. Your thoughts. You continue to grow. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Not simply because you say yes. you will create even more opportunities for growth. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. But once you say no to an opportunity. Mental toughness. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. think. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. When you say yes. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights.
.net 76 . Dream big and take consistent. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. lawyer. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. directed.com or www. mediator. happier. make corrections.D. © Copyright 2003. and smart action.D.bestlifedesign. Ph. engage again and refuse to quit. Visit her at www.molliemarti.. and healthier lives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. redirect the effort. performance coach. Inc. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.success and rewards your effort. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. is President of Best Life Design. J. better. Mollie Marti. Stop caring what other people think.
and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. and interpersonal influence. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). © Copyright 2003. management training. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. linguistics and computer science. Robert Dilts. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. sports. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s.net 77 . John Grinder. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Unfortunately. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. There is. however. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. However. sales. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Whether it makes us happy or sad. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. activity. use Yellow) money. health healing. © Copyright 2003. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. growth. Use it for minor headaches. remember that red not only represents life force. fire. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. think we are making progress or stagnating. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. occurrence. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. Also. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. red would probably not be the best color to use. You have the power to change your perception.net 81 . is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire.
Take control. Once you have faced your phobia. But the results tend to be permanent. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. It can be done in person and over the phone. but it is not a gift at all. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. this power. Depending on the phobia. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. If you are suffering from a phobia. though. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. it can make your life almost unbearable.net 82 . Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. this is how it works. control it and use it wisely. Sometimes. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Basically. By the time your therapist is done. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. Relief is truly immediate. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. © Copyright 2003. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. Perception is a powerful thing. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. After you are put into a hypnotic state. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are then taken back to the phobia again. there will be no emotional response.
however.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. happiness. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. both written by Dr. fun. Marti. even fear of success. it may be necessary to make some changes. and not just money or things. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. Frequently they are a result of fear. thinking and dreaming. you will enjoy them immensely. Fear of change.net 83 . © Copyright 2003. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. fear of failure. Mollie W. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. fulfillment and yes. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. and not just a lack of money or things. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. prosperity includes a rich. money as well. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. In order to accomplish this. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. joyful and full life filled with love. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer.
This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams.net 84 . String Theory. Loop Quantum Gravity. Quantum Gravity. external universe. utterly real. taste. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Superstring Theory. smell. not the other way around. and hear it. However real and external these images may seem. They exist within consciousness. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. however. It appears undeniably to be out there. Schroedinger’s Cat. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. because what was a mechanical. independent and apart from us. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. In the dream it all seems very real. solid. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. touch. as I started to research this a bit. We can see it. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. standing as a physical world. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. Time. separate from us. in addition. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. and tangible. Theory of Everything. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. around us. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. instead. the Copenhagen Interpretation. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Supersymmetry. EPR Paradox. they are all phenomena within the mind. M-Theory. hear. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED).Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. in about three or four paragraphs! So. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Unified Field Theory. © Copyright 2003. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. space. touch it. Grand Unified Theory.
huh? So. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. and there’s only one real way to do that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.So. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. Cool. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.net 85 . Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.
These two distinct types. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are.R RELATIONSHIPS. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. In addition. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. First. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. cries or screams when upset. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. © Copyright 2003. if you are not. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. our behavior patterns. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. possibly even throws things when angry. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. RELEASING. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. read on.net 86 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is the physical who yells. However. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. how they can come apart. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. congratulations. Unfortunately.
When I say E&P attraction. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. When they first meet. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. secure and © Copyright 2003. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. Next would be their children. on the other hand. longer hours at the office. Let’s cover very briefly. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. When his partner complains that they never see each other. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. And that’s a good thing. is quite a bit different. This is natural. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. outgoing. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. So he starts spending more time at work. To her partner it is his career.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. For the physical. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. the relationship is of primary importance to her. And boy do they do relate. After all. what the priorities of each are. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. then hobbies. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. With the physical female. he cannot understand why. his career. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. She is happy. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. She on the other hand. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Their first priority is their career. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other.net 87 . In relationships. The emotional. I really do mean attraction. But let’s look into the future several months. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident.
understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. When we are healthy and balanced. What can be done about this. though. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships.net 88 . Remember. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. The process is quick. sadness. to get clear on your goals for the future. Release anger. © Copyright 2003. This is done through imagery and suggestion. Plenty. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. Interestingly enough. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. Sometimes. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. releasing occurs naturally. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. With communication you can understand each other. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. fear and guilt. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. When you understand how the other thinks. communication is key to any successful relationship.
Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. use your downloadable sessions first. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. hurt. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. positive thoughts. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. process and recall information. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. anger. and emotional states. That may been all you need at this time. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Both techniques are effective. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward.net 89 . body and emotions.D. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. fears. Negative expectations. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. doubts. unpredictability and lack of control. Ph. physical. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. If your subconscious is ready. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.
exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. each and every day. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. over the telephone. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Rather.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. taking in a deep breathe. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. You spend mental. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.net 90 . make a choice to expect positive results. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. For example. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. Many rituals are quite simple. Rest is any activity. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. boring day. you are ready for it. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. You wake up and your first thought might be. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. to your computer.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. and in countless other interactions. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. Think and say. As you spend energy during the day.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. You give energy away to other people. in and of © Copyright 2003. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. “It’s gray and cloudy. As you add them to your day. It’s going to be a gloomy. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. reading a book.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. build in ways to recoup your energy.
it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you.net 91 . guilt. and anxiety. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. anger. You’ve © Copyright 2003. Influence Management: Before any performance. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. which is pleasurable and restorative. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. fatigue. When you carry negative emotions like fear. frustration.itself. rhythmic breathing. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. nervousness. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. After a 90-minute presentation. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. after working at your computer for an hour. For example. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. you are less able to concentrate on your task. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. linking it with a unique physical action. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. and discarding the emotion. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day.
they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on.simply applied a band-aid. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. such as a doorframe. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. a piece of art. It immediately precedes the performance and says. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. For example. back to my task. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. prior to a presentation or meeting. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. or a clock on the wall. I “turn on” my full engagement. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . If you are in your office or in a conference room. © Copyright 2003. I image a red line on the floor.net 92 . try to use the same type of focal point. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you travel. can be viewed as a distraction. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. She chose a cloud as her focal point. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. A tangible engagement cue. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. body and emotions that it is time to perform. Yet. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. Any time you get distracted. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. works well. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. you might choose a banner. Before you perform. . Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. “OK. but when it came time to start. This leads to a less than stellar performance. As you travel or perform in different locations. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. As I cross the line. it also had drifted off. . An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. consciously look at your focal point. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. even if it is a good thing. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you.
J. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.molliemarti.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. Visit her at www. successful entrepreneur. mediator. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines.com or www. © Copyright 2003. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. This means that if you get away from your rituals. and success. happier. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. they will provide great consistency. Ph. It will throw you off. is President of Best Life Design. alcohol.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. and healthier lives. concentration. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. better. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. If you cannot identify your rituals. performance coach. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Inc.bestlifedesign. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind.D. including caffeine and adrenaline.. Mollie Marti. A close companion is the use of stimulants.D.. lawyer. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time.net 93 . As part of this process. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it won’t feel right.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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exhaustion. blood sugar fluctuations. depression. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. irritability. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. You need eat more avocados. asparagus. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Calcium. seafood. worry. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. broccoli. mustard greens. such as hormonal imbalances. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Unfortunately. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. © Copyright 2003. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. brown rice.to be one of the first things that goes. sesame seeds. kale. irritability. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. oats. cabbage. fish. Calcium rich foods are almonds. impatience. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. kelp. etc. apricots. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. leafy vegetables. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. Almonds. fear. salmon. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. causing irritability and nervousness. depression. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. prunes. garlic. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress.net 97 . chronic fatigue. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. apples. bananas. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. Vitamin B6. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Vitamin B12. moodiness and nervousness.
net 98 . Sing. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. a founder of NaturalCounselor. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. nobody will. who will take care of our children. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. Bottom line though. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. salmon.com © Copyright 2003. Kiss. legumes. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Start squeezing something. our cortisol levels drop. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. you must relax. insomnia or lack of energy. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. In addition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. green leafy vegetables. brown rice.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. I know mine always have been). root vegetables (such as potatoes. Squeeze a squishy ball. but if something happens to us. Call a friend. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. lentils. Foods rich in folate are asparagus.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. dates.naturalcounselor. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. our family? So let us be stress smart. oatmeal. carrots and turnips).Folic acid. such as a squishy ball. though. mood swings. tuna and whole grains. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. mushrooms. Walk. barley. to work away your tension. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. oranges. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine.
you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. If you wake up today focusing on debt. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. I know I have. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. I used to feel that way often. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. If you understand that. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. because you cannot stand still. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. a feeling. According to the laws of physics. If you wake up today affirming an illness. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. but to the energy of the present moment. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. if you are having a problem with money. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. Energy is constantly in motion.net 99 .
In a follow-up experiment published last year. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. the truth is.net 100 . and elastic. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. It is only important that it does. really. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. During the sessions.” So. You need to make room for change..D. © Copyright 2003. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. You don’t have to create change. for most people. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. And. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. Ph. Hypnosis. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Ginandes says. Pain sufferers. Ph. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. meanwhile. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. smooth. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. it doesn’t matter why it works. our results suggest. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. In a pilot study published in 1999. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. can influence the body to heal itself. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster.D. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. for example.
net 101 . the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. to the left or to the right. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. look down on the Time Line. for you happiness and your abundance. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. Take your time with this. your love and your joy. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. When you have determined the directions of past and future. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. it is what feels best for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remember. There is no correct answers. If it’s behind you. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. © Copyright 2003. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Remember. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Take responsibility for your life and direction.
You procrastinated. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. Without getting specific about each of them. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. even if they cannot give it back. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. It can look that way to others.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with.net 102 . They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. bad things just happen. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. I’d like you to consider another alternative. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. You need them to tell you to be strong. It might not have looked that way to others. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. you stuck by the wrong person. Sometimes what you need. © Copyright 2003. you made a mistake. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision.
VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Picture yourself at age 80. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. you need to define what it is you want. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. etc. another may practice Hinduism. Spirituality. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. For example. VICTIMHOOD.net 103 . 90. whatever feels right.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 85. First. © Copyright 2003. while another may be a Wiccan. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality.
but not only that. or even the perceptions of our family. Think about all the value areas of your life. © Copyright 2003. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. are you really meant to be together. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Figure it out early. you will certainly feel violated. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. Perhaps you are abused. If it is what you believe.net 104 . You might get angry. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. What areas cause you regret.Now think back over your life. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. Something very unpleasant. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. then your perception makes it right. friends. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. What you might think is wrong. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. is you. However. Remember. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. church and society. then you’ve got a problem. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. mugged or even raped. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. What value areas of your life are you happy with. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas.
It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive.net 105 . my friends don’t understand me. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are.S.I want you to consider something. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. my kids don’t show me any respect. it means you are not responsible for anything. my mother didn’t understand me. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. But just take a moment now and really think about it. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life.. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. etc. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood.. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. and society actually encourages this thought. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. happiness and joy available to each of us. Here in the U. my husband ignores me. But now. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. It wasn’t fun. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. for what you do and what you say. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. And. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim.” But. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. Life. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. my wife doesn’t understand me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. A rather sad. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. however. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. etc. etc. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. my mother didn’t give me enough love.
Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. For example. is powerful beyond belief. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. The woman who has come out of a nasty. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. it is the ability to enjoy life. If we take back control. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. eventually. Fixing a problem in one place though. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. each of us. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. bad relationship and can keep on going.who you are. please. can often help the other. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. build self-confidence. never © Copyright 2003. 2006.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. etc. beautiful heart and so much love to give.net 106 .. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. etc. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. Remember. boost your mood. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. September 26.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. If that is taken away from us . we lose everything. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. As stated in Woman’s World. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. You had to be strong. feel more loved. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. Simply.
So. depressed or negative. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. can change how your feel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. increase your self-confidence. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. relieve pain. Use the power of your mind. If you are feeling down.net 107 . your imagination. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. Is essence.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive.
something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org. included six small meals a day. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. scientists. The truth is. WORDS. First one. alcohol. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. diet and weight. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. 4. refined. etc. it’s good again. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of.net 108 . you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. 5. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.) 3. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. the only diet that had ever worked for them. Not only that. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. however. If. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight.. Confusing. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. before facts have actually been verified. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i.W WEIGHT. bleached flour.
10. Has your mother. 20. 18. © Copyright 2003. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12.net 109 . 19. Do you eat breakfast? 15. Out of all the food you eat in a day.6. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 9. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 8. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 17. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 7. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do you associate a person. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions.
More often than not. satisfaction. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. you know that as strange as it may sound. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation.Now. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. self-confidence. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. WRONG! Words have power. You had to be strong. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. We heal from physical injuries. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives.net 110 . You know © Copyright 2003. by working it. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. a lack of fulfillment. having said all that. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. confidence and happiness. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Abuse victims. they include abandonment issues. survivors.
subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. This is why “words” do have so much power. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. scream and yell and swear all you want. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. throughout your life entire life. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. wider and stronger each and every day. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. this planet needs you. Think and dream about your future. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. your talent.net 111 . please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. And that’s what venting to another is. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. Also. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. Your life depends on it After all. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. words can hurt you. The same holds true for what you hear. Make some calls. wife. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. Vent when you are alone. And for each of us. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. intelligence and compassion. keep your thoughts strong. someone will answer. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. But you are wrong. call out for help. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you.because I say it over and over again. lover. But most of all. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. dreams and desires. As a matter of fact. but not only that. husband. But when you are with someone you care about. Once said they are out there forever. When this occurs. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. I have to say this. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. find out what you can do.
you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. Releasing sessions can work well with these. However. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body.net 112 . can help. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. © Copyright 2003. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. much like arthritis in wet weather. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. or.withdraw into ourselves. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. If you can do this. especially in interpersonal situations. If you do not feel ready for that. when things are going smoothly. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free.
very clearly. binger or whatever. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Before you make that decision. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. healthy. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. Wait 10-20 seconds. your energy will flow in that direction. clear skin. BINGER ETC. drinking. Once you decide that you want to quit. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. drinker. DRINKER. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Whatever it is. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. You can choose to live your life. vital. © Copyright 2003.net 113 . Wait 10-20 seconds. You have the opportunity to see a different future. are you now sure which one you want. Notice what you see. Make a promise to yourself. what is different and better. Of these two possible futures in your life. the body you want. Notice how you feel. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. doesn’t it?. energy.X X SMOKER. strong. What do you look like. Make a commitment and a decision. clear and easy breathing. you have a decision to make. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. the decision becomes easy. And now let those images fade completely away. vibrant. When you have done this.
you always have a choice. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. your life script.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. it does not mean you will receive it. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. Everything in life is a choice. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being.net 114 . success. © Copyright 2003. you can only lift a small amount of weight. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. happiness. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in.com. For instance. Compare it to strength training. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. When you first begin to work your muscles. joy. you may never receive it. So. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. In making a choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your entire belief system. a better job.
What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. looking around. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention.hollygleason. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.According to Holly. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. check it regularly. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery.com To me. © Copyright 2003.net 115 . check it out at www.
it means a diligent enthusiasm. cause. And always remember this. cause. fight for your dreams and your goals. or ideal. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. An antonym is apathy. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. please do it with zeal and without apathy. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. NewBeginnings email@example.com 116 . or ideal and the determination to further that person. intensity and passion.
Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. You can also visualize this word in your mind. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you.” “gamut spot. While you are doing these three karate chops. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal.” and the “sore spot.net 117 . it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. To make this even more effective. There are 15 points. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation.
anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 12. Do what feels right for you. 7. 4. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. 6. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.” © Copyright 2003. 8.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. you can use just one or two words. but do each issue separately. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. or anything you want changed. 5. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. This is not a sentence. 2. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight.net 118 . anxiety. 9. You can go through the tapping process several times. 3. 10. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. or DEPRESSED. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 11. fear. or AFRAID.
After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax.net 119 . Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. emotions. resentment or negativity away. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. uncross your arms and legs. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. hurt. As you do this. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. your connection with yourself is complete. Perhaps it is now just a small spark.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. And as your heart fire increases. you also release all negative thoughts. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. feelings. © Copyright 2003.” And that’s all there is to it. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. I love myself. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. ideas and beliefs within yourself. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. By burning away all anger and negativity. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. you open all pathways to love. And as your heart fire increases.
You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. smell the salt. See it. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. see the image).net 120 . letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. If another color comes to mind. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. taking this time right now for myself. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4.. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. cleansing breath in and let it out. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. hours. Then imagine or visualize white granules. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away.e. Take yourself fully into this place. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. hear the waves and the birds. anyplace.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. smell it. like salt. If you feel like it and have the time. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. months or even years to be released. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. weeks. Then when you are ready. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. allow that color to flow in and out as well. at the beach. days. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. heal yourself and relax yourself. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. hear it (i.
Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. Let go of all tightness within you. yourself. © Copyright 2003. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. my guy and I are in love. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. activity. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. thoughts and feelings. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. You are in charge of your healing and your life. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. emotions. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. or whatever it is your desire.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Here’s my snapshot. You are in control and in charge of your body. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. relationship. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 121 . there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. happy and having fun together.
I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I say to myself RANCH. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. I choose to forget past mistakes now. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.net 122 . I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. live in the moment and dream in the future. I vibrate with positive energy. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. positive delightful reality. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I keep saying ranch until that image. © Copyright 2003. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. With my thoughts I create my new. My life is becoming more joyful on every level.
.. 72....... 33.. 58. 107 Cheryl O’Neil .................. 104. 19.. 129 alcoholism... 90..... 36..................... Ph.......... 21. 109...... 90........ 104.......... 22....... 38... 6.... 84. 4... 78 affirmations... 54..... 3 addiction .. 4..... 55 Dawn Abraham ... 1... 55..... 118 acute pain.. 3.. 122 chronic anger . 56.... 21. 32. 22. 81. 6..... 27..... 109..121 blood sugar ..... 81.... 43.. 55 emotional freedom technique ... 33.......... 10.. 72. 7 attraction ....... 104............. 28.... 37. 39. 71. 93.86 addict . 7..7. 22....... 38... 89. 35...... 22... 105.... 127. 104.. 35.. 94.. 47..... 6. 128 anxiety 7. 32...... 46.... 63...... 34. 125.. 117.... 103... 21... 52...... 125 energy .... 59.. 32.. 50....Index 12-step programs . 116 Bereavement ...... 32.D.. 77.. 46... 60.......... 36... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att... 73. 9..........1................. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ..... 91.......30 anchor ......... 43........... 70... 91.... 74. 78 E&P attraction . 46. 106. 24..... 35. 6.. 29.... 42... 19...... 94.7. 53.....24......... 114.. 66. 31. 102.. 65.. 89 balance .38. 78... 94. 81. 8.. 26...21 Arreed Barabasz .. 79 dream 1......... 44. 42... 96............. 106... 95 © Copyright 2003...... 127. 79.... 129 diet ..53.. 74...... 21....D.... 110............. 44.... 67....... 114........... 37.....30.. 18. 12.... 47... 70. 48. 6.. 123.. 10....2. 21 David Spiegel.. 121 drug abuse.. 80... 79........... 76.. 45.. 35.. 97.... 39...... 57.. 63. 50....... 113......... 56..... 122. 36. 119... 98... 121..... 38. 43.. 74....58 choice2.... 37..... 101............ 3 Alzheimer’s .... 25...... 26..... 23... 5...... 44... 20...... 10 binging ..... 77......... 78... 96....... 95....... 24 eating disorders....... 114...5... 97... 106... 127........ 35... 88....... 38. 88..... 42... 116........88 clarity 9............. 58.. 47...24... . 44. 27. 53. 63......... 43. 118 consciousness 8. 119 confidence.. 78............. 78............. 8.. 121.. 116 disease..... 89 fear 1........ 112 compassion ...... 129. 89.54 association .. 104... 25........... 46.. 99.. 20. 94....8 Adrian Calabrese...86 Circle Therapy ............. 63...... 26..... 131 dreams 22.... 76... 23........ 97. 7..... 41. 124 drinking... 83. 52............. 21... 94. 95... 97............ 98....5......... 30. 126 adrenalin .... 14. 12 Elvira Lang . 55..... 75.. 78..... 45.. 97..... 57. 37. 81......... 71...... 6.. 96.... 5......... 48............. 78 cortisol . 130 focus. . 31......... 52. 78........ 60.. 71............ 84........ 102.................. 21.. 36..2.. 77.. 45.. 47...... 60. 21...... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma... 62. 114. 35................. 60.. 31. 24. 6. 73 depression ....... 101. 58............. 94... 95. 61........ 36... 44.... 128... 37... 103....... 130 apprehension.. 76 desire.. 45... 35.. 79 cancer. 110 communication . 78 forgiveness. 30. Ph... 2.......... 7....... 76.......... 28....5... 5....... 78 EFT . 15....... 64. 92. 2. 71... 97.. 5.107 abuse 5.125 anger ..3.... 114. 112. 87. 36..... 5.... 30 Eric Butterworth .... 4. 27....... 119..... 113 Abraham Hicks .. 80........... 38. 52...... 5...... 90 coronary disease.... 27. 54.... 44... 115.... 50...... 7....... 102..... 6. 89..... 37.... 44........ 129 food addictions...........2.... 60.......net i .......... 76. 32........ 126..1. 41....... 16..... 35... 94 baggage....... 78 alternative programs ...5..... 105 darkest hour . 86.. 103. 81. 126......9.. 3.2................. 21..... 79. 6... 32... 78 chronic pain ... 130 epilepsy ..... 79 Carol Ginandes.. 37.... 94. 23...
...... 122. 129 grief..54 Irina Wardas ............. 63. 43... 2. 77.. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute .. 33... 87 lose weight 4...... 42....10...... 57... 78. 88... 120 relaxation . 37.8 hypnosis .....37. 118... 57... 78......... 101................. 37 powerless . 94 mood swings .. 39...... 30.... 87... Woods ... 92..... 56.......... 47....... 10..... 89 phobias....... 1..... 109. 10....... 78... 79....... 7..... 54... 6.............. 65............. 37. 69..... 58.... 15.... 109...... 19.. 77. 22.. 94......... 35............ 28..24..... 112........ 43............... 86..net ii ... 43..2. 129 resentment...5. 39. 115........ 118 Gary Craig ... 113 prosperity .. 87. 116 happiness . 83 Robert Dilts......... 10.. 76...... 77.. 84 panic attacks..... 37..... 77. 77......... 32.... 29..... 6.... 5............... 21......... 58..... 120.. 77.. 6 Pat Dennis...... 67....... 115. 107.. 23... 56... 32......... 78........7.. 53. 32...... 36..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology. 46................... 64.. 38. 47... 113.....10...... 59... 30........ 21. 6......... 50.. 22............. 65........... 86. 53.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.......... 5.......... 57 neural interconnections ............ 129 heart disease.... 107 healing ......... 59. 105. 118....... 71 life force...... 78. 57... 34.............. 63. 110............ 44.... 64... 54........... 113........... 78 NLP. 37.... 58.... 43.............. 56 hurt. 79... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 119... 57...9..... 3.......28 John Grinder ........ 10...... 35. 54.. 46...... 59.. 53.35 goal .... 115 smoking.. 37.................... 5.....36 joy ...... 89. 58........ 105 Jane C....... 4. 79.10... 57. 99..................... 14............... 28. 30...... 36 Guilt ............. 9........ 121 snapshot ....fulfillment ...... 30... 31.. 37... 67.... 121 relationships24. 93 message units ... 110................. 22.. 117 medicine.... 49. 76............. 111..... 54.... 21... 101. 29 neuro pathways . 52...... 122 Harvard .... 79... 47. 10........... 34. 37...... 22...... 120..76 Hridaya Yoga. 26..... 6.......... 47. 102. 37 self-esteem ...... 79...... 40............... 66.. 53..... 119.. 99.. 107. 95. 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ...... 56.......... 56.....12 habit .. 5. 17 Janet Luhrs. 30 passive-aggressive ... 78.1........ 29.... 16.... 32........... 93......... 125.........30 high blood pressure. 84... 27.. 42... 42............... 122 Ida Kendall .. 101 self-image . 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice. 127. 77. 21.. 53.... 94............ 7.. 36..... 78........ 55....84 Jill Ammon-Wexler . 54... 8........ 103........ 116....5....... 39. 43........32 illness 36....... 114 imagery .............. 79................ 26. 125 immune suppression . 81........ 109.... 38........ 47... 13.. 77.. 35............ 89..........32 hypnotherapy .. 119 neuro-linguistic programming ...... 108 Parkinson’s disease. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking . 27........... 83 nitric oxide .. 79.. 75... 37..40.... 22. 58.... 88.......... 50..... 53....... 6.............. 67........ 38............... 15.....9........ 87. 7.. 43. 118....... 76.... 25. 107. 114......... 57. 59.............. 32 phobia . 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ........ 77.................8.... 127...3. 58.... 128..83 Law of Attraction... 47.. 89. 6. 130 Judith DeLozier ...... 8...... 127 hypersuggestible . 45....... 60.............. 9.. 13.. 83 overload ....7.... 60.......... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003.. 78. 118 self-talk .... 95. 58......... 59................. 110......... 77.... 74... 78...... 125 men .. 103.... 86.. 83 Roger Callahan ..83 John Kappas.... 56..................... 109..... 44..11.. 123.... 85... 128 Richard Bandler .. 86 habits... 83. 51.... 58... 117.
..... 2. 94..... 110 Two Futures ......... 122 zeal....... 59.......... 109 triggers .28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ............... 26..... 6......5................... 77..... 101... 118. 91.... 8........... 60. 111 victimhood .. 37.. 128 subconsciously. 114 weight .. 77........ 36........ 114 triggering event ......................... 80. 109..... 30............... 34. 38.....83 Stephen Kosslyn ....Stephen Gilligan ...... 95. 10.............. 77.... 48. 6..................................... 113........ 121 value areas of life........... 120 yummy list . 43.. 114 visualization. 56............ 122. 47...........53 transformation....... 85. 125............... 78 subconscious..... 107.. 37... 78....... 59...... 44.. 58......57 stress hormones .... 7......... 78... 85... 112...... 45............ 79.....107 trigger.. 22................ 120 suicide..... 30.... 5............... 115...............6................................................ 21..... 5..... 46......... 116 Women.. 34.................... 29.... 57. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 109..... 6...4.. 84.......net iii ... 79 thought habits . 77.... 95. 106 wounds ....... 65. 7...... 37. 124 © Copyright 2003........ 39................44...... 47. 75...........
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