This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. neuro pathways. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. . The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. feelings. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. As I said before. when given the proper instructions. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. emotions and perceptions. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session.
.......................................... ENERGY ................................................................................................................................................. ANXIETY....................................................................... DIETING. BEREAVEMENT ..43 GOALS ........................................................ AFFIRMATIONS....................8 BALANCE .................. COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.............15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...............8 CHANGE...........................................................34 ENERGY ...................................................... ANGER........ CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE........................................................... G....32 EMOTIONS.....................1 ABUNDANCE .......26 DEPRESSION .............................................................................................................. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS......................1 ADDICTION ....... E.......32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).......................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ..................................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ..................... F.. ..................................3 AFFIRMATIONS............................. FEAR........................26 DIETING ..3 ANGER .............. ADDICTION..........................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ...........18 COMMUNICATION .................................................5 ANXIETY ............................................................................................ FORGIVENESS......................................................40 FOCUS .....42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...............................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).........46 B..........................................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .......... C................................ D................ EMOTIONS.................................................................................................46 SMART GOALS ...............................................................37 FEAR ........TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE...............................................................................................................................................................7 BALANCE...........................................................................................21 DEPRESSION....................................................... FOCUS...................37 FABULOUS ......................................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ........................35 FABULOUS........
..............................................................................................54 INTUITION.................................................................................84 I........................................59 KARMA........................................................................................................................................................81 PHOBIAS ........ KISMET ........................................................ LOVE............... .................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS............................................... N....80 PAIN.83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .................................................. P............................52 IMAGERY..............69 MALE DEPRESSION................................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION........................ J.....H. Q...........................................77 OVERLOAD................................................. MIND SUCCESS ...................................................................67 LOVE................................80 PERCEPTION .......................63 KARMA ............... PERCEPTION....................72 MIND SUCCESS ...... O..................................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)...............................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.......................... LIFE..70 MALE DEPRESSION.........................................................................56 JEALOUSY .................................................................68 LUCK ....................51 HYPNOSIS......................... PROSPERITY .........70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION...............................................................49 HEART FIRE .......................82 PROSPERITY ... K........... L.......... HYPNOSIS..................................................... HEALING.......................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)...................49 HEALING ................................................................................................. LUCK .....................54 IMAGERY...................................................................................78 PAIN........................................... PHOBIAS..........................63 KISMET ......77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ... M................................................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ............................................................................................ INTUITION.........................65 LIFE......................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ....................................59 JEALOUSY....................................................................
.................................. BINGER ETC ....... STUCK ............110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS).....................................................................................................................................................................................................................108 WEIGHT ............................ WORDS...................................................................................................... T......................................................................................................................................113 TWO FUTURES ..........................116 S.......96 STUCK ................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT .... X...........................................111 X SMOKER.................. iii .............................. VISUALIZATION...............86 RELEASING .........................................104 VISUALIZATION ................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .............101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..... Z....... U........R......95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE................................. WOUNDS ...............................................106 WEIGHT................................................................................................... ii......................103 VICTIMHOOD .. V....................................................114 YUMMY LIST .....88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ...................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.................................... SELF-TALK.................103 VALUE AREAS................ RITUALS FOR SUCCESS........................................................... RELEASING...... W......................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ................................94 STRESS .........................................................................................108 WORDS..................................................................... RELATIONSHIPS..................... DRINKER..................... VICTIMHOOD...............113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT..................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS............................................................ i...........................................................................................86 RELATIONSHIPS .94 SELF-TALK............................................................ YUMMY LIST ...........102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.............. Y...................................................................114 ZEAL .....94 SELF CONFIDENCE.. STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).......................122 INDEX ............. EXERCISES .........................
fear of success. satisfying. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. Even when we know we have this tool. ADDICTION. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. As a result. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it.net 1 . Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. love. excitement and yes. usually as a result of fear. indeed. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. it is filled with laughter. occurrence. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. fear of failure. Because of this. Fear of change. ANGER. we don’t trust it to be real. © Copyright 2003. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. think we are making progress or stagnating. money and success. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future.A ABUNDANCE. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. It is our perception of any event. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. however. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. even worse. incident. In order to make changes. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. a life that is rich and full. AFFIRMATIONS. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. The future. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. sometimes we simply choose not to use it.
cocaine. A tempo that is magnetic. helps them suppress the pain. the more vibrant and alive you become. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic.net 2 . At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. and life just gets better and better. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. so. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. i. who you can call when you feel you might slip.e. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. alcohol. People without strong desires slowly whither away. however. at least while they are using their drug. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. Unfortunately. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. no matter what program you are going through. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction.. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. Your first step. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. you do have a choice. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Allow that desire to flow through you. It is important though. at least for a while. the more connected you feel. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. however. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you.
We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. The sooner we realize and accept that. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. then you. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.net 3 .com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the addict. A friend of mine once told me. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict.passagesmalibu. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. Many people.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.com www. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. you will forever remain an addict.org www. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.com www. if it is not done.practicalrecovery. www.secularsobriety. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. When you face this pain that you have been running from. but you don’t have to. so. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.habitdoc.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. I agree with this school of thought. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. However.
Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. • Be specific.” • State your affirmations in the positive. • Always remember this.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror.” the message sent to your mind. when what you really mean is. If necessary. Always create an image of what you want in your life. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. that’s like moving uphill. So. © Copyright 2003.” Or say.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. the steering wheel of your car. then that means you are on the right track.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit.net 4 . Don’t let fear hold you back.” Or “I will lose weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. not what you want to avoid. When you move towards what you want. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. always focus on what you want to move towards. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. your computer. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. When you do this. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.
If you see yourself as a victim. eating disorders. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.net 5 . It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. along with mourning. going from one trauma to the next. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. anger is the most common response. When a relationship ends. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. Even if we bury anger deep inside. drug abuse and depression. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. resentment. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. hostility. Holding onto anger. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hurt. then anger becomes a serious health risk. fatigue. shaking. When this is the case. But some people seem to be angry all the time. you may see yourself as an avenger. crying. can lead to serious food addictions. Not only is this destructive to you. and in small doses can be a good thing. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. So. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. cold hands. In situations that cause fear.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. you may blame others for your situation or condition. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. it can be just as damaging. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. alcoholism. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. In addition. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. looking for justice and revenge. and heart palpitations.
it will never go away. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. © Copyright 2003. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. however. In the past. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. sarcastic. but anger that may be directed at you by others. Power and anger are frequently related. If you feel powerless. and depression. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. and can help make you more content. fear and hurt. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. and can lead to serious food addictions. Also. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. coronary disease. and even increased workplace injuries. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. suicide. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. and stubborn. releasing your anger. Unfortunately. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. expressing your anger in an indirect way. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. bitterness. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive.net 6 . Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. alcohol and drug abuse. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. cancer. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. Remember.
This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. driving a car. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. Also. flying. anxiety. weakness. shakiness. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. Fears. mood swings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. nausea. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. being home alone. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. © Copyright 2003. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally.). By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. etc. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. fear or anxiety.net 7 . fear or anxiety.
No matter what you hear. Happiness. you know. let them be a reminder to look inside. Sometimes we need reminders. NewBeginnings email@example.com 8 . then he’d really truly be happy. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. right? Yes and no. Twelve hours of day and night. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. place or thing that can make you happy. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. then it would make him happy as well. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. that happiness must come from within ourselves. a perfect balance. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. Good advice. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. There isn’t another person. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. No one can tell you how to be happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. The problem was.B BALANCE. getting involved with a church. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. I told him the usual stuff. Just think about that a moment. it didn’t work. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity.
desire. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. In this state. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. feeling. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C.co. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable.net 9 . jane@changingpeople. lover. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. goal. stop thinking it to death. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. happiness. They allow you to clear out the old. It will. and in doing so. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. the right kind of suggestions.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. job or whatever you are seeking. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. if we are angry. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. even the words we use. Woods. Whether it’s an emotion. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. You are able to access your subconscious.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. our voice. But even more than that. working for you. fulfillment and life find you.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. to balance the light and dark within yourself. That means stop analyzing everything so much. No matter how hard we may try.
Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it.net 10 . But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. To a degree that can be true. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. It is an immutable part of the human condition. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. just a little. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. letting relevant people know. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. you must do what is right for you. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. © Copyright 2003. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . for example. However. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. and so on. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. and generally we prefer not to think about it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. That said.the intensity and duration may differ.
This is where someone less involved can offer help. we may be compelled to visit the scene. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. or for feeling angry. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. and just plain wrong. a normal response. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. or those suffering alongside us. disconcertingly. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. recognizing it and naming it. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. we may need to be told several times. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. uncaring. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. once the first shock waves have abated. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. © Copyright 2003. “If I do this. Help them tell you their feelings.net 11 . For example.Denial A second common response. when they are breaking bad news to patients. It is unrealistic but again. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. is a refusal to believe the news. Often that is enough. We may need evidence. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Some enlightened doctors know. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor.
create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. just let it go. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. For example. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. was decreed.net 12 . When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. You cannot short circuit this process. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. when our behaviour. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. even perhaps depressed. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. like fundraising for a particular charity. and even our clothing. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. I have lost someone significant in my life’. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. how to manage our grief. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart.
a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. however it feels. © Copyright 2003. This does not mean forgetting them.net 13 . we experiment with new ways of behaving. So. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. People want to help but they often don’t know how. However hard it is. we begin to move on. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. which can be a comfort. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. But actually. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. You may find. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. such as excessive use of alcohol. Let close friends offer you comfort. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. not in any sense. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. If you need a hug. and this will of course vary from person to person. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feeling there is no point. be it with a handshake or a hug. Experiment At some point. in this phase. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. ask them. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. you never go right back to the beginning.
it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. be it lighting candle. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. or an offer of help with the shopping. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. taking flowers to an appropriate place. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support.” © Copyright 2003.net 14 . take medical advice. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Knowing this can help you plan for it. as I have said. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. be it taking some homemade food round. Helping In Western culture. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. If you can. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. Again. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whether for you personally. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Make your peace with that and all will be well. ritual can be helpful at this time. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. a card sincerely written. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. I hope it has been helpful however. Literally. surrounded by people. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. so we need to use our discretion. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. Of course.
COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. Woods.C CHANGE. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. almost no one likes it. depending on the severity of the change. Sometimes.co. some anecdotal.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Finally. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. and some simply telling you how to do it.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it .net 15 . Just remember this. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. jane@changingpeople. we can get very fed up. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. depending on the change. Some people embrace change and some resist it. even depressed. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. Sometimes. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. some research based. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it.
You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. © Copyright 2003. A Story Here is a short story about change. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. However. You are feeling bright and chirpy. Worse. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. Finding they are. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 16 . “What?” you say. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. It may ring a bell with you. You are speechless at first. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work.
Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change.net 17 . supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. That is a fact to record on the top line. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. don’t just focus on the negatives. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. Use two different colours if you like. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. no one but you is going to see this.But then. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. joy of joys. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. angry. vulnerable. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office..and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. For example. So. and. or determined to make more effort. For example. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. did it make you sad. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. yes. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies.. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003.
However. no one makes us feel anything. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. Obviously. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. and therefore our feelings. Dawns. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. as the dawn progresses. Sometimes. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. At first. Then. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. however. © Copyright 2003. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. our thoughts. The same principle applies to you. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. another to frown and feel aggrieved. One may approach it in a positive way. But as the sun rises.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. overloaded message units and repressed fears. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. are funny things.net 18 . light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. our responses to change are individual and personal. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. They begin almost imperceptibly. For example. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. while another may be much more fatalistic. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. Similarly with our responses to change. Actually. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel.
preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. however. see the right path. For example. you start to believe it yourself. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. relaxation. need or want. When this happens. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. you do not need to feel this way. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal.net 19 . Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. detailed imprint of what you desire. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. Be absolutely clear about what you want. even our physical health and well being. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). Unfortunately. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. inept. If you are starting to feel anxious. you are in essence training your mind. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. remember “dawn” can and will happen. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Giving you the feeling of freedom. but will actually consider them an order. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. confused or fearful. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. Ultimately. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. given enough time and repetition. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. apprehension and fear.anxiety and emotions. © Copyright 2003. confidence. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. clumsy. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts.
How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. As Abraham Lincoln once said.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. It’s the life in your years. so. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. It does make a difference. abundance. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. all of your life. yoga. want and desire.” So live your life fully. If you want a New Beginning. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then the real fun can start. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. in addition. confidence and trust. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. does and will continue to offer you what you need.net 20 . you need to be aware. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. you always have a choice. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. You will feel stronger. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect.achieving prosperity. with clarity. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. realizing all the possibilities available to you. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. mold them and do it over and over again. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. Trust that the Universe has. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. it is a journey. you are actually living the life you want. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. Guide them. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. Know that no matter what things might look like. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003.
© Copyright 2003. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. yellow balloon. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to.knowing. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen.net 21 . our answers are all around us. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. It is important not to go looking for your sign. look and listen. dolphins . COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. engage and listen. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. I truly believe that faith. courage. The problem is that we communicate differently. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down.
These two types. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. they will answer yes or no. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. In relationships. screams. is so much more than simple questions. So. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. but E&P affects. enjoys spur of the moment activities. cries. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. the way we communicate with each other. possibly even throws things when angry. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.net 22 . it isn’t. how they can come apart. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. however. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. An example would be. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. It is the physical who yells. people don’t realize just how true this is. First. opposites really do attract. Communication. if you ask a physical if they are cold. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. and how natural and normal this is. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. among other things. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. whatever when upset. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. © Copyright 2003.
when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. the more the physical pushes. Since we tend to project our thoughts. Words have power. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Also. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. You had to be strong. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. self-confidence. It becomes a vicious circle. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. © Copyright 2003. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. Conversely. they can ruin lives. We heal from physical injuries.The same thing occurs when communicating. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. This E&P communication. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. however is just one part of communication.net 23 . Remember though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. you can see how this could be problematic.
just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. beautiful heart and so much love to give. each of us. throughout your life entire life. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. As a matter of fact. You know because I say it over and over again. this planet needs you.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. wider and stronger each and every day. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. find out what you can do.net 24 . [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. intelligence and compassion. © Copyright 2003. call out for help. leave. Make some calls. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. but not only that. This is why “words” do have so much power. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. The woman who has come out of a nasty. But you are wrong. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. your talent. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. bad relationship and can keep on going. Think and dream about your future. someone will answer. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. But most of all.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. keep your thoughts strong. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Also. by working it. The same holds true for what you hear. dreams and desires. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. is powerful beyond belief. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Your life depends on it After all.
© Copyright 2003. Vent when you are alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. scream and yell and swear all you want.net 25 . words can hurt you. And that’s really what venting to another person is. words can destroy you. Once said they are out there forever. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. our child. wife. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. But when you are with someone you care about. husband.Each of us.
if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. and just like any other habit.D DEPRESSION. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.… You have billions upon billions of neurons.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. Miller goes on to stress. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. DIETING. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. Jill Ammon-Wexler. Researchers like Dr. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. In addition. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . suicidal feelings. but in essence they are just like any other habit. According to Dr. however.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. According to Dr.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. Dr. we can take control of our thoughts and change them.even into very advanced old age. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves….it is created. conditions and illnesses. thought patterns and thought habits. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. As research continues in this area. if we want to. if this work fulfills its potential. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup.net 26 . they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. In fact. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. © Copyright 2003. depression. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. No one is born with such a brain -. AND -. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness.
Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. “disappointed in my relationships”. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. those interconnections then expand and strengthen.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. though. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. etc. What we think. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy.net 27 . Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. I don’t want to be around negative people. “unhappy”. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. What it does understand. healthy muscles. fulfilled life.use it or lose it. Think about that a moment.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. © Copyright 2003. even more importantly. what we say to ourselves. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. I just want to be happy. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts.
“Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms.. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. including cancer. When you can take a truth and internalize it. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Take responsibility for your thoughts. Pay attention to what you are thinking. Fixing one problem can often help the other. Parkinson’s disease. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. Woman’s World. 2005. is originating on a deeper. it will continue to go on. Massachusetts. with the aid of hypnosis. Reflect on the positive. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts.” observes Dr. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this.D. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Ph. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. stroke and Alzheimer’s. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. epilepsy.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. 100 times more. When there is negative thinking. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. Bruce Cohen. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. So. reflect on the contrary. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. heart disease. subconscious level. October 18. on a subconscious level. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. whether it is physical or emotional. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. many people are also realizing that much of their pain.net 28 . People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.
Chocolate was bad for you. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. particularly among our young people. First we were told that fat. then we were told maybe it isn’t. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). and these are serious issues indeed. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. The truth is. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. When most of us think about diet and weight. but in addition. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and of course. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. Part of one study.net 29 . never a comparison with all the other studies. especially in the United States. © Copyright 2003. diet and weight. we just don’t want to do it. the second diet was only three meals a day. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. test or theory. it seems as if all the doctors. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. And throughout all of it. especially our young women. Confusing. any kind of fat. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. is bad for you.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. The first diet included six small meals a day. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. according to the New York Times. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. people. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. we are really only getting part of the story. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. now again we are hearing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. sometimes to death.
both emotional and physical. confidence or happiness. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. Releasing negative thoughts. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. Knowledge is indeed power. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. and getting the right kind of support and advice. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. a lack of fulfillment.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. by taking control of our thoughts. weight issues are rarely just about weight. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. As we live our lives. Just as with any weight. it can include abandonment issues. With the internet available to all of us. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. satisfaction. © Copyright 2003. one of the first things I tell them is.net 30 . In fact. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute.
This is. that we keep going back to it. © Copyright 2003.e. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. what do you see. fear. what do you think about. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. If you don’t like it. So wonderful. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. Look at yourself. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed.net 31 . You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. I keep going back to this one phrase. in fact.Knowledge. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. though just an illusion. what does your world look like.. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. i. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. though is not just about external fact.com. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. take control of your thoughts and change your life. You can continue the work on your own. observe how you feel. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life.
a negative experience itself. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. has no value of its own. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. general stress. anxiety. Not a hypothetical path. ENERGY. fear. EMOTIONS. depression.net 32 . EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. including depression. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. © Copyright 2003. posttraumatic stress disorder. any negative experience. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). addictions and phobias. As I’ve written before. anger. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”.
With or without hypnosis. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. deprivation. With regard to addictions. Remember. weight loss to pain and illness. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. © Copyright 2003. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. understanding the negative experience is not enough. emptiness and anxiety. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion.net 33 . and more importantly. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. do not use self-hypnosis. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. to addiction. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. In addition. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. EFT can help with both the cravings. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. war trauma or severe physical illness. As stated earlier.
the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. even more importantly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example.net 34 . This has been proven repeatedly with study after study.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. accidents and increased workplace injuries. resentment. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. but our physical health as well. One such study by Dr. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. hurt. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. hurt and unforgiveness. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. meditation. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Likewise. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. It can even be linked to suicide. By forgiving. Ryke Geerd Hamer. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. hostility.
etc). your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. white flour. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. vaccines. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. diet. that we are out of balance. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory.net 35 . Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. In most cases of cancer.specifically. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. whole grains. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. exposure to toxic substances. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. pathogens. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. such as genetics. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. Throughout this book you will find theories. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. etc. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. In addition to nurturing your mind. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. seems somewhat contradictory. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. it prevents depression. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. but it is not.
The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. So. imagery. stress. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. While listening to your hypnotherapist. or an inability to let go and just relax. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. © Copyright 2003. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. but balance will return.who have the ability to relax more fully.net 36 . Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. Hypnosis can help you. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
primary by reducing the inflammation. Drink more water. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Chew properly. aiming for 30 to 50 times. FEAR. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. Fiber. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. safflower and vegetable oils. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. whole grains. © Copyright 2003. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. 2. Fruits and vegetables and spices. soy. garlic liberally. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. which as we know reduce inflammation. nuts. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. try counting the chews in each bite. FOCUS. turmeric.net 37 . To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. The indigestible parts of fruits.F FABULOUS. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. until the food becomes liquid. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Their phytonutrients . Eat the right foods.carotenoids in carrots. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Increase your intake of fish. Healthy fats.
It relaxes and detoxifies your body. 6. Detox. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. our skin. our tissues. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. but so will saunas and hot baths. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything.net 38 . Losing weight gradually . Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. But breathing is also effective. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. our hair. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. 4. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. As a matter of fact. 5. Eat homemade food. 3. take deep breaths. Breathe. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sweat – cleans up your system. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Detox is a relative term. Regular exercise should make you sweat. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Pesticides. chew. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. The solution: Sweat.) If under pressure at meals. which creates less gas. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. our organs. Any form of exercise helps. chemicals from manufacturing. Our blood is what creates our cells. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general.
focused.consists of slow. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. diary products. refined flours. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. our relationships. improving your healthy well-being. Laugh. bread. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. and improve overall health. © Copyright 2003. our jobs. 10. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. Tai chi -moving meditation . meats. I call it facial meditation. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. Have sex. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. boost mood. fats.it is delicious. fried foods.net 39 . Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. Take the laughter yoga class.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. relaxes your body. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. hydrogenated fats. 9. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . grains. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Have a home-made facial. 7. you sure can laugh at one. etc. 8. Even if you can’t tell a joke.
insomnia or lack of energy. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. healthy and joyous life you want.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. fear of failure. it keeps us from making a big mistake. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. That one thing is FEAR.naturalcounselor. mood swings. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. or even worse. fear of success. though. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. that one thing. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme.net 40 . Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. a short while. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. FEAR: fear of change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. one thing seems to come up most frequently. what we expect.
and grow up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). we are afraid to dream. relationships. Your goals must be your very own. we have chosen. the more connected we feel. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. We were told to grow up. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Something that is important to you right now. Be honest. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. in order to be an adult. for the most part. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. we were told to leave those dreams behind. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. career and health because you are afraid of failing. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. as we grew older. have a reasonably happy life.net 41 . As children we were free to play. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. get out your list and read it again. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. the world of adults. the more vibrant and alive we become. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. pretend and let our imaginations soar.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. © Copyright 2003. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. When you have specific. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. 2. This is wrong. If you haven’t done so already. write down your goals and if you did write them down. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. afraid of disappointment. and life just gets better and better. instead. friends and lovers live this kind of life.
so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. breathing things. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. doing something together. 4. If you have not asked for support much in the past. 5. a powerful tool. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. Sometimes. life coach or whomever and ask for support. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. crying and so on. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. You know. if your goal is to run a marathon.3. Remember the Power of Affirmations. though. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out.net 42 . They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. even though we would gladly give it if asked. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. FOCUS Look around you. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. Focus. When you say your affirmations out loud. it’s hard to focus. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. push yourself to ask for help now. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As an example. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Use them. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. parent. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. laughing.
Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. you are bombarded with millions of message units. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. It disables your emotional resources. though. our subconscious is able to do this for us. forgive and accept forgiveness. though. success and fulfillment. affirmative statements. psychological imbalances.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. Luckily. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. that release.net 43 . When we go through periods of stress. The subconscious processes everything. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. negative or neutral to our mental. confront the situation as needed. recorded on brain and body cells. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. This is commonly referred to as memory. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. resentment or anger. health. smell and hearing. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. touch. © Copyright 2003. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. and its effects may be positive. Over time. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. interpersonal and relationship problems. whether asleep or awake. During the course of a day. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. sight. physical and emotional well-being. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. it still exists in our subconscious. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. NewBeginnings email@example.com. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant.
5. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. 4. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness.net 44 . 6. laughter and perspiration. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Even when we sleep long hours. This not only applies to a current. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. tears. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. 2. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. anger. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. During the Releasing session. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. They are also © Copyright 2003. 3. existing situation. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. Once learned. fear and anxiety. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone.
once learned. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. “I release (relevant emotions. including health care professionals and clergy. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. sadness. as a Soul. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. function as a computer operator. © Copyright 2003. and feeling great.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. and your body and life are the printout. etc. however. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. 8. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. can be done alone. the brain is your biological computer. the Releaser is asked to state. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed.). the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer.” 7. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. have learned. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. As people from all backgrounds. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life.net 45 . such as anger.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. disappointment. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself.
Think of it as a game. a diversion to keep life interesting. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. If you think about anger. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. thoughts and ideas.net 46 . it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. Sometimes. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. After you’ve done this. meaningful and exciting. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. I don’t know about you. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. whether it is an emotion.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. You choose what you want in your life. fun. not only does life get depressing. A really simple way to test this theory is this. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. A state of being is not an emotion. Each of us is already whole. Not only in your own relationships. “I don’t know what I want. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. We find ourselves drifting along. if you think about a color. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. something that is crucial to goal setting. Conversely. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. your current life situation. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. though. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. an activity or a thing. Without goals. This same principle works the same way for emotions. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. not really happy. take the color blue for example. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become.
o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. He’s got free will just as we all do. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. simple Measurable. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. sometime weekly. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. Don’t forget about free will. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. it would be a boring and scary world. not if you want to improve your life. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. keeps us feeling alive. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. doesn’t mean I can have him. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they will never be overwhelming. If you do this regularly.net 47 . it just means you make an adjustment. change is the whole point. Adjustments are a good thing. But you can’t manifest everything you want. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. © Copyright 2003. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. responsible. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person.
Remember. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. set those goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. So. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.net 48 . by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.
” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. turning some functions on and others off. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. relieve depression and so much more. It can help relieve pain. lower blood pressure.. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind.D. by using specific. and help strengthen the immune system. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. Working from the inside out. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. As David Spiegel. speed up healing after surgery. releasing negative thoughts. © Copyright 2003. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness.H HEALING. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Ph. imagery. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. visualization and positive suggestions. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change.net 49 . Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. In a pilot study published in 1999.
in terms of levels of pain. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy .compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. © Copyright 2003. though.net 50 . The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. that’s because it is. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. anxiety and the need for painkillers. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The suggestions. Arreed Barabasz.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. Every 15 minutes.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. and the third received standard care. soothing kind of treatment. During the operation. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. empathic care provider and hypnosis. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against.
you actually see it. the hypnotized patients used less medication. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years.net 51 . HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. realizing all the possibilities available to you. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. In effect. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. then the real fun can start. the brain’s manager and planner. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. the hypnotized subjects used less medication.” Using imaging technology. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Spiegel and Lang found. involving more than 330 patients. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others.” says Marc Schoen. “It’s not just a fantasy. psychologists say. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention.” says Spiegel. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. Once again. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. If you think you are seeing color. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. A journey that you can now control. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. which could account for heightened attention. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. On average. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. experienced less pain. And this list goes on and on. While in the trance.
unhealthy or even dangerous situations. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. We have to cope with irritating. Some little problem or some big problem. Problems that we encounter every single day. this spark can grow a little dim. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. As we each move through life. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. fear. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. though. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. When I say fuel. rude or just plain nasty people. Sometimes. All life starts as a spark. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. you can do this exercise while awake. resentment. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. unpleasant.net 52 . My purpose is to help them remember. Try it once and feel the results. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. hurt. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. stress. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. Each incident throughout the day affects us.jealously. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. hurt. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we each have to deal with something. With a bit of practice. tension and minor frustrations. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire.
clarity. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. Giving you a feeling of relaxation.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. relaxed. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. © Copyright 2003. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. every message unit. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. Try hypnosis. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. more positive thoughts. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. but the results will amaze and delight you. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Some pleasant. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. comfort. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. anything at all about yourself. As a result. you create a vivid. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. The more visual and real you make your goal.net 53 . and much better about yourself. not only will you feel better immediately. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. you will feel refreshed. euphoria and control of your life again. however.” Using hypnosis. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. feel or react. According to Stephen Kosslyn. a professor of psychology at Harvard. If there is anything in your world. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible.
heal your body. depressed © Copyright 2003.” Cheryl O’Neil. etc. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life.” What we think. create passionate relationships. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. good or bad. Never. etc. fear or confidence. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. However. www. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. fixing a problem in one place. and change your life .is determined by the thoughts you think. Simply put. can often help the other. what we say to ourselves. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts.I IMAGERY. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. mend your ways. boost your mood. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. Your ability to overcome obstacles. As stated in Woman’s World. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. September 26. The brain is simply another organ in your body. who I especially admire. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. What we experience as feelings.net 54 . 2006. Conversely.cheryloneil. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. More and more doctors as well as patients.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. feel more loved. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. failure or success. build self-confidence. once wrote. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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Motivation. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Private & Group Coaching. Self Esteem. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.qualifiedlifecoach. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Reiki.net 58 . 98% of the time I am right. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. Another way I practice is with elevators. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Abundance. You rise above thinking in mediation.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you.com. use a deck of cards. The fourth part is training your mind. “What we think about we bring about. Law of Attraction. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. Meditation. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red.com © Copyright 2003. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. You know that saying. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.
no matter what that entails. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. You want to see them become more of who they are. You want revenge. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. You feel violated. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. and if so.net 59 . What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. You want to stop what you are feeling. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. projections. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. and grow. If you can cool down. Often. delusions. You are angry. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. you may go into a rage. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. envy. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. in control of yourself and your partner. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. It is essential to communicate clearly. succeed. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. That’s the truth of love. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. enjoy their life.
The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. not within the relationship. you cannot. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If your relationship is based on Attachment. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. If you can do this. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. Jealousy is like an onion. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. You can give yourself the gift.net 60 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you cannot make a person love you. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. If you move inward and look at yourself. © Copyright 2003. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. the jealousy resides within you. It does not. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Another layer can be guilt. you can reach self-awareness. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Look at the reality. The truth is that for most of us. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. This is projecting. guilt or anger. This insight. there is nothing to feel guilty about. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. These all grow out of expectation. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. Going down to an even deeper layer. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. envy. You do not own it. We think that we should be able to rise above it. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Another layer is projection. Projection. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. the truth behind what you are feeling. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Look at your beliefs. It is their own. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. we find envy. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. This is natural and normal. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. really look and analyze them.net 61 . It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are.
Open your heart and mind to it. Once you release the anger. If you are experiencing jealously. and let that be who you are. If you find yourself doing this. They come from our past. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. By looking deep within. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. you can watch that love radiate out for all. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. look deep within yourself at these feelings. When you attempt to possess another person. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. You do not need to experience jealously. Perhaps you fear abandonment. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. then what you are experiencing is not love. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. Surrender to it. When you love. our childhood. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. Hypnosis can help. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. fear of not being worthy of love. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. fear of being alone. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. the resentment and the hurt. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. If you love someone. they still don’t meet your expectations.net 62 . you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. © Copyright 2003. frequently they are not real. let that guide you. You can choose to move away from those feelings. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. you become yourself possessed. You become vulnerable. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. but attachment. Fear of loss.
present and future and because of this. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. all of which determine our future. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Most people © Copyright 2003.K KARMA. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Jain. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. or alternatively. There is no judgment involved. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. Just a thought.net 63 . action and reaction that governs and controls all life. if you prefer. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. but generally the concept is basically the same. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. In religions that incorporate reincarnation.
but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. prophet. fate and destiny are not the same. participate and change the direction you are heading. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. © Copyright 2003. which is a huge component of the human psyche. saint or seer.net 64 .associate Destiny with fate. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. In the belief systems of many cultures. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. Fate implies no choice. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. As stated above. but fate makes no allowance for free will. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. Step in. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. If you are not satisfied with your life. In the Shang dynasty in China.
If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. is a good analogy. The old saying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What ever it is. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. © Copyright 2003. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. “What you think about will happen in your life. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. For example.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. “Let the chips fall where they may”. that can help you with exactly that. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator.000. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. The concept of the law of attraction is. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. LIFE.” It’s about where you put your focus. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want.00 a year income. start by writing it down.net 65 . The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. LOVE.
How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. You have made it clear. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. now grab it. etc. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake.net 66 . don’t panic. allowing it to happen is vital. Now that you have set this up. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. I promise you it will show up. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. You asked for what you wanted. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. pay attention to what happens next. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. you then attracted it. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now the key here is to follow up with this. There is something there to be learned or gained. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. talk to those people. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. pay attention.
So live your life. Go to my web site for more information. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. who has no idea that she is. life is messy. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back.net 67 . Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. Individual Coaching. a very wise woman. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. It is never wasted and it is never lost. maybe © Copyright 2003. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. originally thought of.in a different package. The sooner we realize and accept that.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. you used them to learn about yourself. www.qualifiedlifecoach. that is the Universe telling you go…. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. tele-classes and resources are offered. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. You never. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. She told him something I want to share with all of you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years.” And I realized as she told me this. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. Not only that. she said “You didn’t waste those years.com. Group Coaching.
even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. some which I like and others not so much. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. you are perfect. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). [Obs.] Shak. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. partnered. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. trust . LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. healing. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. A noun. I’m not sure why exactly. First. v. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. but yes. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. sex. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. then. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. com·pas·sion. I know. romance. © Copyright 2003. living this life to experience love.” When we talk about compassion. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. Definition: To pity. dating. never have. often including a desire to help. compassion and faith. married or alone.net 68 . maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. t. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. I was reminded recently. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. all kinds of love. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering.
then someone else. and. © Copyright 2003. with all their faults.K. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. Luck is a real. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. My only question to your would be this. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. in the process. that negative voice in your head. nobody can make it for you. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. measurable phenomenon. work with or just come into contact with. Instead of listening to that old record. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky.Another thing that is so important to remember. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. heal others and yourself. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). lazy or self-indulgent. one that you can get behind.net 69 . something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. someone around you. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. Give yourself a break. as well. can start to love themselves as well. then maybe. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. those we live with. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O.
MIND-BODY CONNECTION. or even make the depression worse. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. (Harvard Medical School). because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. sex. As Dr. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. This can make treatment especially difficult. but the underlying causes vary.M MALE DEPRESSION. certainly not for a real man. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. and so do the ideal treatments. And yet. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another.” Michael Craig Miller. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009.D. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. In the past. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. In addition.. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. 2007 article. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. February 26. Depression can manifest in many different forms. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. with all these statistics facing us. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks.net 70 . During the past 50 years. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. “Depression may look like a single disease. the depression and the cause of that depression. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. M.e.
Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. With the aid of hypnotherapy. resentment. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. however. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. Sometimes.. When you recognize that this is occurring. There are detours that we must take.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. fear or anger that you are experiencing. the healing process. Woman’s World. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. Edward M. you take back control of your own life. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. hurt. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. Hallowell. Using © Copyright 2003. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. helping you regain strong mental-health. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. October 18. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. During the course of this journey and these detours.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. fear. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. without wanting or meaning to. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. Working from the inside out. guilt and depression. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. smooth and without bumps or potholes. Ph. bitterness. love and happiness beyond measure.D. As Dr. When you release the hurt. 2005. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. without help. This is not easy. When this occurs. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy.net 71 . As I quote above. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. difficult and painful process.
Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. NewBeginnings email@example.com brain scans. a German physician. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. including diet. hostility. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. eating disorders. hurt. Dr. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. resentment. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. but our physical body as well.net 72 . The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. pathogens. In addition. Holding onto anger. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. meditation. © Copyright 2003. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. can lead to serious food addictions. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. alcoholism. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. drug abuse and depression. With the help of 20. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. This has been proven by Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion.
stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. guide them in a positive direction. Success is largely an inner game. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. thought or image. It requires that you develop a success mind. if you focus on anger. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). etc. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Ph.net 73 . Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up.exposure to toxic substances. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. vaccines. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. In addition to nurturing your mind. I have been there and there is a way out. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Success is a process of continually learning new information. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. keeping track of what is working and what is not. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. whole grains. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.D. and this applies to any negative emotion. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. Meditation works. anger is what you will bring into your life. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. white flour. but to your thoughts as well. yoga can help. Believe me. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. and © Copyright 2003. use it and use it frequently. etc). This is a way of thinking. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times.
Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and failure. This is one of the laws of success. Take time to dream. see unlimited possibilities. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. learn from your mistakes. make adjustments along the way. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. hardship. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. While success requires action. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. exploring one more option or opportunity. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. and keep moving forward. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. Gather new information. but also change the world. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. you simply need to start. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. if you talk to any star athlete. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. generate new ideas. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. © Copyright 2003. The success mind trains itself to ask. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. Yet. foster creativity. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. fear that we are not good enough. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. or successful businessperson. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. fear of hard work. fear of what other people will think. and create new realities. possibility is in the dreaming.net 74 . fear of failure. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Take action. the less we fear them. You will have to change to be successful. Develop a process to examine your fears. Fear of change. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. inventor.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. conditioning.
But once you say no to an opportunity. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. Remember. The time to begin is now. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. you will create even more opportunities for growth. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. As you do this. Your thoughts. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. challenge. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. try on new perspectives. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. It is never too late to develop your success mind. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. You continue to grow. adventure. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. think. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. your actions. When you say yes. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. experience. form opinions. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. create. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back.net 75 . your world and your success. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. and success. you likely will feel fear. your feelings. and grow. Mental toughness. Question. Not simply because you say yes. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights.Believe in yourself and in your dreams.
com or www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. performance coach.success and rewards your effort. Visit her at www. © Copyright 2003. happier. directed. Inc.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. lawyer.. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.D.molliemarti. redirect the effort. better. Stop caring what other people think. and smart action. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. mediator. engage again and refuse to quit. is President of Best Life Design.D. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. J. make corrections.net 76 . Mollie Marti. Ph. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.bestlifedesign. Dream big and take consistent.. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. and healthier lives. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.
however. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. linguistics and computer science. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession.net 77 . Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. sports. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. However. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Robert Dilts. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. Unfortunately. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. sales. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. © Copyright 2003. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. John Grinder. There is. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). management training. and interpersonal influence.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. © Copyright 2003. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. activity. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. occurrence. health healing. growth. think we are making progress or stagnating. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. red would probably not be the best color to use. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. remember that red not only represents life force. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. use Yellow) money. Also. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. You have the power to change your perception. fire. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain.net 81 . Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. Whether it makes us happy or sad. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Use it for minor headaches.
By the time your therapist is done. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Basically. After you are put into a hypnotic state. But the results tend to be permanent. You are then taken back to the phobia again. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. it can make your life almost unbearable. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions.net 82 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. this power. Depending on the phobia. If you are suffering from a phobia. © Copyright 2003. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. Perception is a powerful thing. Take control. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. though. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. but it is not a gift at all. there will be no emotional response. Once you have faced your phobia. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. It can be done in person and over the phone. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. Relief is truly immediate. control it and use it wisely. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. Sometimes. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. this is how it works.
Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. Frequently they are a result of fear. however. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. and not just money or things. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. thinking and dreaming. prosperity includes a rich. Marti. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Poverty is a way of living and thinking.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. you will enjoy them immensely. fear of failure. joyful and full life filled with love. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Fear of change. money as well. © Copyright 2003. and not just a lack of money or things. happiness. it may be necessary to make some changes. fulfillment and yes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. both written by Dr. Mollie W. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less.net 83 . But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. In order to accomplish this. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. even fear of success. fun. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity.
not the other way around. separate from us.net 84 . Theory of Everything. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. standing as a physical world. they are all phenomena within the mind. Time. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. Loop Quantum Gravity. Superstring Theory. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). String Theory. and tangible. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. M-Theory. Supersymmetry. utterly real. however. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. touch. It appears undeniably to be out there. We can see it. in addition. as I started to research this a bit. and hear it. the Copenhagen Interpretation. Quantum Gravity. smell. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. However real and external these images may seem. EPR Paradox. solid. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. around us. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. In the dream it all seems very real. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. taste. Unified Field Theory. space. independent and apart from us. Schroedinger’s Cat. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. because what was a mechanical. instead. external universe. touch it. They exist within consciousness. Grand Unified Theory. in about three or four paragraphs! So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. © Copyright 2003. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. hear.
and there’s only one real way to do that. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality.net 85 . Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. huh? So. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition.So. Cool. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.
net 86 . cries or screams when upset. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. However. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. if you are not. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. These two distinct types. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. First. RELEASING. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. © Copyright 2003. read on. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. It is the physical who yells. possibly even throws things when angry. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. In addition. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do.R RELATIONSHIPS. how they can come apart. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our behavior patterns. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. congratulations. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. Unfortunately. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction.
the relationship is of primary importance to her. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male.net 87 . they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. is quite a bit different. To her partner it is his career. With the physical female. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. But let’s look into the future several months. The emotional. I really do mean attraction. what the priorities of each are. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. And boy do they do relate. on the other hand. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. After all. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. So he starts spending more time at work. he cannot understand why. She is happy. then hobbies. longer hours at the office. This is natural. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. And that’s a good thing. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. When his partner complains that they never see each other. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. When I say E&P attraction. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. secure and © Copyright 2003.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. his career. Their first priority is their career. In relationships. outgoing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. She on the other hand. For the physical. Next would be their children. When they first meet. Let’s cover very briefly. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment.
© Copyright 2003. Release anger. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. Sometimes. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. Plenty. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. The process is quick. though. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. fear and guilt. releasing occurs naturally. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. to get clear on your goals for the future. Remember. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. Interestingly enough. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. communication is key to any successful relationship. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with.net 88 . Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. When you understand how the other thinks. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. This is done through imagery and suggestion. With communication you can understand each other. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. When we are healthy and balanced. sadness. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. What can be done about this.
process and recall information. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. Negative expectations. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. Both techniques are effective. doubts. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance.net 89 . anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. and emotional states. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. Ph. That may been all you need at this time. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. physical. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present.D. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. positive thoughts. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. If your subconscious is ready. unpredictability and lack of control. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. fears. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. body and emotions. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. hurt. anger. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. use your downloadable sessions first. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new.
Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. It’s going to be a gloomy. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. over the telephone. You spend mental. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Rest is any activity. you are ready for it. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. Think and say. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. Many rituals are quite simple. As you spend energy during the day. each and every day. As you add them to your day. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. For example. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. “It’s gray and cloudy. to your computer. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. make a choice to expect positive results. NewBeginnings email@example.com 90 . Rather. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. in and of © Copyright 2003. and in countless other interactions. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. build in ways to recoup your energy.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. You wake up and your first thought might be. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. taking in a deep breathe. You give energy away to other people. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. boring day. reading a book. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.
It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. rhythmic breathing. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. You’ve © Copyright 2003. For example. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. anger. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. After a 90-minute presentation. nervousness. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. which is pleasurable and restorative. guilt. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. frustration. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. linking it with a unique physical action. When you carry negative emotions like fear. and discarding the emotion. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. and anxiety.net 91 . Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. you are less able to concentrate on your task. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. Influence Management: Before any performance. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion.itself. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. fatigue. after working at your computer for an hour. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand.
I image a red line on the floor. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. If you travel. try to use the same type of focal point. can be viewed as a distraction. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. you might choose a banner. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. As I cross the line. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. such as a doorframe. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. “OK. I “turn on” my full engagement. or a clock on the wall. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Yet. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. body and emotions that it is time to perform. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. consciously look at your focal point. prior to a presentation or meeting. it also had drifted off. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. As you travel or perform in different locations. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. Any time you get distracted. works well. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. For example. Before you perform. but when it came time to start. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue.net 92 . When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . a piece of art. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. . Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. back to my task. © Copyright 2003.simply applied a band-aid. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. . A tangible engagement cue. This leads to a less than stellar performance. She chose a cloud as her focal point. even if it is a good thing. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. If you are in your office or in a conference room.
performance coach. concentration. J.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Inc. Mollie Marti. including caffeine and adrenaline. alcohol.net 93 . and working mother to help others design and live their best life. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. mediator. successful entrepreneur. Visit her at www. it won’t feel right. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. It will throw you off.D. happier..molliemarti. If you cannot identify your rituals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. they will provide great consistency. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. better. and success. is President of Best Life Design.D. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. A close companion is the use of stimulants. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. and healthier lives. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. Ph. lawyer. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. As part of this process. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. © Copyright 2003. This means that if you get away from your rituals. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet..bestlifedesign.com or www. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. Unfortunately. moodiness and nervousness. depression. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. You need eat more avocados. Vitamin B12. bananas. Vitamin B6. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. Calcium. fear. apricots. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. fish. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. asparagus. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. kale. salmon. etc. cabbage. kelp. garlic.to be one of the first things that goes. chronic fatigue. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster.net 97 . broccoli. leafy vegetables. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. impatience. worry. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. such as hormonal imbalances. irritability. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. oats. irritability. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. © Copyright 2003. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Almonds. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. seafood. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. apples. depression. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. blood sugar fluctuations. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. causing irritability and nervousness. sesame seeds. brown rice. prunes. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. mustard greens. exhaustion. Calcium rich foods are almonds.
To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners.com © Copyright 2003. lentils. oatmeal. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. to work away your tension. our cortisol levels drop. legumes. green leafy vegetables. tuna and whole grains. brown rice.naturalcounselor. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them.net 98 . you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. carrots and turnips). root vegetables (such as potatoes. insomnia or lack of energy. salmon. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Bottom line though. barley. Walk.Folic acid. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. Call a friend. you must relax. In addition. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. our family? So let us be stress smart. Sing. Squeeze a squishy ball. oranges. Start squeezing something. I know mine always have been). dates. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. a founder of NaturalCounselor. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. mood swings. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. though. mushrooms. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. but if something happens to us. who will take care of our children. nobody will. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. Kiss.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. such as a squishy ball.
It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. I used to feel that way often. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. According to the laws of physics. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. If you wake up today focusing on debt. because you cannot stand still. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. but to the energy of the present moment. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more.net 99 . you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. For example. if you are having a problem with money. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. I know I have. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. If you understand that. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. a feeling. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. If you wake up today affirming an illness. Energy is constantly in motion. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up.
that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. Ph.” Ginandes says. and elastic. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. our results suggest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.D. for most people. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. And. You don’t have to create change. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. You need to make room for change. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.D. Ph. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. it doesn’t matter why it works.net 100 . Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. Pain sufferers. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background.” So. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. really. smooth.. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. meanwhile. In a pilot study published in 1999. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. During the sessions. Hypnosis. for example.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. It is only important that it does. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. the truth is.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. can influence the body to heal itself. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing.
If it’s behind you. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. © Copyright 2003. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. NewBeginnings email@example.com 101 . the more you visualize or imagine what you want. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. When you have determined the directions of past and future. Take your time with this. it is what feels best for you. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. the more you focus on old negative thoughts.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. Take responsibility for your life and direction. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. look down on the Time Line. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Remember. for you happiness and your abundance. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. Remember. to the left or to the right. your love and your joy. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. There is no correct answers.
I’d like you to consider another alternative. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. Sometimes what you need. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. even if they cannot give it back. bad things just happen.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. It might not have looked that way to others. © Copyright 2003. It can look that way to others. you made a mistake. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances.net 102 . It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. You need them to tell you to be strong. you stuck by the wrong person. You procrastinated. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. Without getting specific about each of them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself).
VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. 90. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. For example. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. First. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life.net 103 . Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. 85. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Picture yourself at age 80. etc. you need to define what it is you want. whatever feels right.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Spirituality. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. © Copyright 2003. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. VICTIMHOOD. while another may be a Wiccan. another may practice Hinduism. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life.
Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. or even the perceptions of our family. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different.Now think back over your life. Something very unpleasant. Perhaps you are abused. is you.net 104 . we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. However. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Remember. If it is what you believe. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. friends. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. Figure it out early. © Copyright 2003. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. mugged or even raped. then you’ve got a problem. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. Think about all the value areas of your life. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. What areas cause you regret. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. you will certainly feel violated. church and society. You might get angry. are you really meant to be together. but not only that. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. then your perception makes it right. What you might think is wrong.
A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. my friends don’t understand me. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. Life. But just take a moment now and really think about it. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. A rather sad.I want you to consider something. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. etc. Here in the U. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. But now. and society actually encourages this thought. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. my mother didn’t understand me. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. however. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. etc.S. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. happiness and joy available to each of us. my husband ignores me. my kids don’t show me any respect. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. for what you do and what you say. etc. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” But.. my mother didn’t give me enough love. It wasn’t fun. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. my wife doesn’t understand me.. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect.net 105 . 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. it means you are not responsible for anything. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. And. my father was never there to teach me or guide me.
The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.who you are. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. You had to be strong. If we take back control. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. can often help the other. bad relationship and can keep on going. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. build self-confidence. If that is taken away from us . All too often we let this fear get the better of us. etc. please. September 26. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. beautiful heart and so much love to give. Simply. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. Fixing a problem in one place though.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. For example. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. each of us.net 106 . eventually. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. it is the ability to enjoy life. As stated in Woman’s World. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. etc. The woman who has come out of a nasty. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality.. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. 2006. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. Remember. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. boost your mood. never © Copyright 2003. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. we lose everything.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. is powerful beyond belief. feel more loved.
this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. increase your self-confidence. Use the power of your mind. depressed or negative. If you are feeling down. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. © Copyright 2003. relieve pain. can change how your feel. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Is essence.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. your imagination. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. So.net 107 . boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization.
.net 108 . however. The truth is. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. First one. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. 4. Not only that. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. the only diet that had ever worked for them. bleached flour. alcohol. it’s good again. If. before facts have actually been verified. WORDS. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. Confusing. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.e. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. diet and weight.) 3. included six small meals a day.W WEIGHT. 5. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. refined. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scientists. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. etc. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what.
NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 109 . place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 7. 10. 18. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. © Copyright 2003. 17. 8. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 19. 9. Has your mother. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes.6. Out of all the food you eat in a day. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. Do you associate a person. 20. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Do you have cravings for salt? 13.
We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. a lack of fulfillment. Abuse victims. self-confidence. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. you know that as strange as it may sound. You know © Copyright 2003. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. WRONG! Words have power. We heal from physical injuries. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. satisfaction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. More often than not. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. confidence and happiness.Now. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. You had to be strong. having said all that. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. by working it. they include abandonment issues. survivors. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning.net 110 .
I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. lover. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. wider and stronger each and every day. keep your thoughts strong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scream and yell and swear all you want. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. call out for help. As a matter of fact. When this occurs. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. Make some calls. your talent. Think and dream about your future.net 111 . But most of all. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. but not only that. dreams and desires. someone will answer.because I say it over and over again. Vent when you are alone. I have to say this. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Also.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. This is why “words” do have so much power. But you are wrong. And for each of us. this planet needs you. Once said they are out there forever. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. husband. Your life depends on it After all. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. The same holds true for what you hear. words can hurt you. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. intelligence and compassion. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. wife. find out what you can do. And that’s what venting to another is. But when you are with someone you care about. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. throughout your life entire life.
Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. or. when things are going smoothly. If you can do this. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.net 112 . However. Releasing sessions can work well with these. can help. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. © Copyright 2003. much like arthritis in wet weather. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.withdraw into ourselves. especially in interpersonal situations. If you do not feel ready for that.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And now let those images fade completely away. What do you look like. vibrant. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. You can choose to live your life. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop.X X SMOKER. BINGER ETC. Wait 10-20 seconds. Wait 10-20 seconds. healthy. binger or whatever. drinking. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. energy. Before you make that decision. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Whatever it is. Once you decide that you want to quit. clear skin. what is different and better. You have the opportunity to see a different future. DRINKER. vital. you have a decision to make. are you now sure which one you want. very clearly. Make a commitment and a decision. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. your energy will flow in that direction. strong.net 113 . What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. the decision becomes easy. drinker. Notice how you feel. Notice what you see. the body you want. doesn’t it?. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. When you have done this. Make a promise to yourself. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Of these two possible futures in your life. © Copyright 2003. clear and easy breathing. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking.
but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. it does not mean you will receive it. you always have a choice. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. © Copyright 2003. In making a choice.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. When you first begin to work your muscles. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. Everything in life is a choice. For instance. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. you can only lift a small amount of weight. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. In every phase of your life you need to be aware.net 114 . It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. your life script. happiness. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. success. joy. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. a better job. you may never receive it. your entire belief system. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making.com. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Compare it to strength training. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice.
check it out at www. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. looking around.hollygleason.net 115 . © Copyright 2003. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. check it regularly. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery.com To me.According to Holly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down.
An antonym is apathy. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. cause. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. fight for your dreams and your goals. intensity and passion. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been.net 116 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. And always remember this. please do it with zeal and without apathy.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. or ideal and the determination to further that person. it means a diligent enthusiasm. cause. or ideal.
The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.” and the “sore spot. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. There are 15 points. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. To make this even more effective. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises.” “gamut spot. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. While you are doing these three karate chops. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. You can also visualize this word in your mind.net 117 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine.
Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. This is not a sentence. 12. but do each issue separately.net 118 . I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 6. 4. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. or AFRAID. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. You can go through the tapping process several times. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 8. or anything you want changed. fear. 11. anxiety. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. 2. you can use just one or two words. Do what feels right for you.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time.” © Copyright 2003. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 3. or DEPRESSED. 9. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 10. 7. 5.
© Copyright 2003. your connection with yourself is complete. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. feelings. And as your heart fire increases. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. uncross your arms and legs. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. hurt. you also release all negative thoughts.” And that’s all there is to it. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. And as your heart fire increases. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your.net 119 . I love myself. emotions.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. you open all pathways to love. resentment or negativity away. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. By burning away all anger and negativity. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. ideas and beliefs within yourself. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As you do this. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs.
feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major.e. See it. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. cleansing breath in and let it out. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. taking this time right now for myself. allow that color to flow in and out as well.. hear the waves and the birds. anyplace. Then imagine or visualize white granules. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. If you feel like it and have the time. heal yourself and relax yourself. smell the salt. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. days. weeks. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. smell it. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. months or even years to be released. Then when you are ready. like salt. hear it (i. at the beach. hours.net 120 . Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. see the image). I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. If another color comes to mind. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Take yourself fully into this place.
feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”.net 121 . You are in control and in charge of your body. Let go of all tightness within you. © Copyright 2003. emotions. Here’s my snapshot. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. thoughts and feelings. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. or whatever it is your desire. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. my guy and I are in love. relationship. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. yourself. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. happy and having fun together. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. activity. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. You are in charge of your healing and your life.
POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. My life is becoming more joyful on every level.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. live in the moment and dream in the future. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I vibrate with positive energy. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. © Copyright 2003. I say to myself RANCH.net 122 . At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. positive delightful reality. I choose to forget past mistakes now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I keep saying ranch until that image. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. With my thoughts I create my new.
.. 105 darkest hour . 89..... 6........ 45....... 104....... 87. 113.... 53.............. 128.. 93.... 78 E&P attraction .. 6......... 77..... 126 adrenalin ..... 88. 3 addiction ... 63.... 37.. 28......... 44. 103....... 39....... 23...... 31...... 43..107 abuse 5. 47....... 3. 81... 110 communication ........ 35. 78 affirmations... 21.... 38..... 28...... 109. 116 Bereavement .. 6.5.. 78.. 43... 97. 63. 74.. 5..... 78 alternative programs . 16.. 60.. 94........ 19. 55 Dawn Abraham ........ 41..5. 77........................7.............. 114.... 129 food addictions... 104... 70... 7....... 63.. 54. 33. 37. 24 eating disorders. 27... 30....... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ...... 5.... 44................. 5.......... 30. .86 addict . 35.... 5.... 91... 6. 127..... 124 drinking... 48...30............. 7..... 61.. 7 attraction ... 130 apprehension.. 22.. 35.. 35.........1.. 27... 76... 78. 36..... 94 baggage... 72............. 12 Elvira Lang ... 38....... 6........ 31.. 32.. 7... 25..... 114. 36................. 63.... 72........ 42... 119........... 129 diet ... 119.. 32..54 association ........ 84. 58...... 86.......... 46............ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att........ 57......... 97.......... 73..... 56. 36......... 96.... 60. 130 epilepsy . Ph.. 10.. 67. 23... 95............ 118 consciousness 8. 75. 8. 5. 81. 71.... 118 acute pain... 78 forgiveness............. 22..... 101......... 43.. 26.. 21.. 26. 37. 24... 45....... 50... 4. 130 focus.. 84........... 129 alcoholism... 21............. 79 Carol Ginandes..... 3......... 20...... 5...............125 anger . 76........ 41... 37. 65.. 97...... 8. 94.. 18... 22. 42............... 59.... 78......... 55. 2.... 126..... 27..... 70.. 112... 32....7... 55 emotional freedom technique ... 20................ 97. 99.... 89... 52............. 55..... 47.... 62. 27. 50.... 78. 96.... 128 anxiety 7............... 89 fear 1................... 43.2.. 102. 4..........38... 36. 26.. 127..121 blood sugar .... 106. 113 Abraham Hicks .......... 10 binging .. 4....... 23. 21..... 79.. 97... 52. 7.. 76... 106. 32.. 44.... 10.. 94.. 21 David Spiegel. 83...... 42.... 35... 80. 19. 36... 58........... 78 chronic pain ..... 71... 94.... 79 dream 1....5........... 119 confidence. 79... 121. 30 Eric Butterworth ....... 52....... 90..... 89.. 45.D.. 6..... 104. 47. 57.......... 92.... 122. 94....53. 79 cancer..... 103.. 81....9.... 104...... 127.. 78.............. 71... 46..... 36... 121.. 44.... 35.. .... 56.. 117...... 76 desire.. 37... 47..... 38. 104.... 52.. 29..... 78 cortisol ....... 60. 73 depression .... 105. 125. 95... 44... 80.58 choice2... 95 © Copyright 2003.. 81......... 2..... 6... 96. 116 disease.21 Arreed Barabasz . 112 compassion . 129....Index 12-step programs ....... 6.. 1. 60...... 81. 32.. 114... 74... 44..... 66........ 114.... 32. 60.. 50... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma... 48.. 90 coronary disease. 94......... 106.30 anchor . 78 EFT ..... 114......... 78.. 31.. 39.. 6..... 98.D.. 95. 79..86 Circle Therapy ..... Ph.5.. 102... 35....1... 88. 37.. 21.2..... 115....... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .... 76. 97..... 22.... 101........ 77. 15. 46..24.. 122 chronic anger . 37... 71.... 46.... 33...... 3 Alzheimer’s ......... 123.. 38.... 131 dreams 22. 103.. 125 energy .....24...... 25... 21.... 21. 126. 121 drug abuse...... 38.......2...... 58.. 45... 98.......... 9..... 89 balance .3.... 12......net i ....... 21...... 102.... 24..8 Adrian Calabrese. 116.. 110... 109.. 53..... 90... 44...........2... 14....... 35. 54. 64.........88 clarity 9. 34... 94. 91.......... 74..
.. 43..8. 6.... 59....35 goal ... 46. 58.... 47.. 53...............28 John Grinder ....... 19.. 109. 38.. 37. 64........ 42........... 56...............83 Law of Attraction. 127.. 112.... 23.. 58... 10.............. 74.. 47. 13..30 high blood pressure.......... 21..... 26.. 65....... 13..... 94....... 30...... 43................. 10....... 26....... 28...... 116......... 8...... 94 mood swings ... 78... 120 relaxation ......... 37.......... 31...... 93........... 83 Robert Dilts. 49... 115...... 103. 83 Roger Callahan ..... 35. 105 Jane C. 125 men .. 101.... 89 phobias.. 87....... 108 Parkinson’s disease... 8............ 36 Guilt . 54............ 32.. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice... 37........ 37... 120...... 79............ 76. 110...5. 78. 77....... 105. 36..... 35.......... 5.... 122. 29.. 81. 102........... 78...... 7..... 7..... 79.... 42...... 53......................... 2... 10....fulfillment .... 83 nitric oxide ................... 52.... 30...................... 121 snapshot .... 78...... 107 healing ......... 50....net ii .. 129 resentment. 58.......... 3... 6........ 87....... 32 phobia ........... 94.... 22... 127 hypersuggestible ...... 59. 113.9.... 50.... 21. 78 NLP. 89.. 128. 77.. 77... 77....... 118.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis...... 47......... 5. 118....... 6...36 joy ... 57.. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ....... 37 self-esteem . 43. 28............. 119 neuro-linguistic programming .... 21........... 78.... 59. 22....40........ 39....... 76. 22.. 9.............7. 67.. 66.... 83 overload ............ 111....12 habit .. 116 happiness ... 79.. 107......... 45... 37 powerless .83 John Kappas. 21... 44.... 25....8 hypnosis .. 57.........7.. 51......... 43..10. 58.... 40...... 71 life force........ 103...... 114 imagery . 27. 113 prosperity . 77.. 32. 53..... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer .... 37. 57 neural interconnections ..10..... 118 self-talk . 16... 92.. 110. 43. 53. 47.. 32.10.... 15... 58. 57... 54...76 Hridaya Yoga.... 10.. 109.... 118 Gary Craig ................ 107.. 130 Judith DeLozier .......... 7. 120.............. 67........ 79.... 89...... 79. 77. 42............... 56.... 57. 88............. 60... Woods . 118.................. 39. 86 habits. 83...... 36. 86........ 37.................. 87... 30 passive-aggressive .......... 34......... 77.. 88. 77..... 46. 114..... 78..... 54.. 86. 128 Richard Bandler ..... 59... 99........... 84....... 29... 32. 38.... 93 message units .......54 Irina Wardas . 89.. 78..... 14.. 78. 117 medicine..5......... 77........................ 121 relationships24................ 59.. 47. 127..... 107.. 76..... 56... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003. 29 neuro pathways .. 63... 101 self-image ............. 57...........24 Journal of Clinical Psychology. 129 grief. 77........ 9.. 55. 30..37... 87 lose weight 4.......2...... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att....... 37.....11... 109.... 67.... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute .................... 10..... 95...... 64.. 69..84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .....9.. 58. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ... 84 panic attacks... 122 Ida Kendall ....... 101.............32 hypnotherapy .... 39............... 27...1.3... 30... 43.. 125.. 58.... 119.... 95.............. 54. 78.......... 113.......... 85......24...... 4. 53.. 33.. 110.............. 37...... 17 Janet Luhrs....... 117. 47. 5....... 58.... 1..... 56........... 57... 79............. 63....... 115....32 illness 36.. 44. 34..... 125 immune suppression ................. 79............. 75. 56..... 60........ 122 Harvard .. 53.. 5. 6..................... 115 smoking.... 15.. 22. 6. 35. 6 Pat Dennis..... 54.... 38... 109.. 22.. 119.. 99. 65. 86...... 6....... 129 heart disease. 123.. 56 hurt....................
110 Two Futures ........................ 124 © Copyright 2003. 46... 116 Women....... 77.... 128 subconsciously...............53 transformation..... 109 triggers ..5... 37.28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ..... 6..... 84.. 106 wounds .. 75. 39.... 2.............. 43. 21. 34. 79.......................... 85.. 29.......... 5.................. 8....................... 48. 38........ 109..... 10.............. 37............ 121 value areas of life.... 94... 6. 56..... 34......... 112.... 59.................. 109... 78............... 95.....4............. 114 weight .......... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.......... 122.... 120 yummy list .. 118... 30.44............. 78 subconscious....... 26.. 80.....107 trigger...... 45..... 59.............. 77... 60. 95. 115. 78.............. 120 suicide.. 125....... 7.... 7.... 37....... 107.. 114 visualization........... 77.57 stress hormones ...... 6.......................... 79 thought habits .......... 30.... 91.........Stephen Gilligan ................ 57....net iii ......... 122 zeal......... 101......... 47......... 47.... 114 triggering event . 85...............6.. 65... 5............ 36......... 77.83 Stephen Kosslyn .. 22..... 113............... 58.. 111 victimhood ..... 44..
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