An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. when given the proper instructions. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. emotions and perceptions. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. . neuro pathways. feelings. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. As I said before.

....26 DEPRESSION ......................................................... G.............................................. ANGER............................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE .................................................................................................................................. C.....................................................3 ANGER ............................................................................. E......................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ...................32 EMOTIONS.............. ......................................................... ANXIETY.......................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE...............................................8 CHANGE......................... AFFIRMATIONS........................ ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS..................................................................................................... EMOTIONS....................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................. D...........................................46 SMART GOALS ....26 DIETING ......................................34 ENERGY ................................. ENERGY ..............3 AFFIRMATIONS......... BEREAVEMENT .......32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)....................................................................8 BALANCE ...........40 FOCUS ..................... ADDICTION...42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ..... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.............................................. FORGIVENESS.....................................................................................35 FABULOUS............21 DEPRESSION..................................... FEAR......... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .............................. DIETING.....................5 ANXIETY ...........15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .................46 B......................................................................43 GOALS ..............1 ADDICTION ........................1 ABUNDANCE .. FOCUS...............37 FABULOUS ...................................................................................................... F............................................................................................................................................................................................. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE............................................8 BEREAVEMENT .........................18 COMMUNICATION .............................................................................7 BALANCE...........................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...........37 FEAR ..........

....................................................... Q..................................52 IMAGERY..........................................................................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ......72 MIND SUCCESS ................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS..84 I................................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION..................................................................................... HEALING.......................................63 KISMET .................................................. HYPNOSIS............................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)............................. ....63 KARMA ... L...........................................................................81 PHOBIAS .............................. K.........................................67 LOVE.............63 LAW OF ATTRACTION...............................................H..................... J............49 HEALING ......................................................................................................................78 PAIN.........59 KARMA................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ..................... LIFE............................................ M.........65 LIFE........................... PERCEPTION.68 LUCK ........................................ PROSPERITY ....................................................54 IMAGERY.. LUCK ....... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)...................................................82 PROSPERITY ............................................ P............................. INTUITION......................................................... MIND SUCCESS .......................................................................51 HYPNOSIS..... O.....................................80 PERCEPTION ................................ MIND-BODY CONNECTION............59 JEALOUSY...................... LOVE.................... PHOBIAS......................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION....................56 JEALOUSY ....................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION .............................................................................................................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION........................80 PAIN......83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .......................................................................................................................................... KISMET .................................... N........54 INTUITION.......................49 HEART FIRE ...................................................................................77 OVERLOAD...............................

.........................................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE........................................................ EXERCISES ...........101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .................................................114 ZEAL . BINGER ETC ...89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.................................. DRINKER...............................................103 VICTIMHOOD .... RELATIONSHIPS..... W.............. VICTIMHOOD....................................106 WEIGHT....................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ...........102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE................................................................................................94 SELF-TALK.......................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)......................................108 WORDS.........110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS).........114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...............................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ......... ii.................................R.........................................................................................................................113 TWO FUTURES ................................................................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT..............88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ............................116 S...................................................................................................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE....................................... iii ............................................... U...... Y.....................104 VISUALIZATION ..................... RELEASING........................................... STUCK ...............................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.............................................103 VALUE AREAS.......................................... Z. WOUNDS ......................................... SELF-TALK....................................................... VISUALIZATION..................................94 STRESS .......... V................86 RELEASING .................................... X...................... T............................................................122 INDEX ................................................ WORDS............................................... i.............. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS..........................................111 X SMOKER..108 WEIGHT ................................. YUMMY LIST ...............................................................96 STUCK ..............................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ..

Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. think we are making progress or stagnating.net 1 . ADDICTION. ANGER. it is filled with laughter. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. In order to make changes. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. Fear of change. satisfying. excitement and yes. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. even worse. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. love. incident. The future. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. © Copyright 2003. money and success. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. fear of success. usually as a result of fear.A ABUNDANCE. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. indeed. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. Because of this. Even when we know we have this tool. a life that is rich and full. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. however. AFFIRMATIONS. It is our perception of any event. fear of failure. As a result. occurrence. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. we don’t trust it to be real.

statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. at least for a while. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice.. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. you do have a choice. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. People without strong desires slowly whither away. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. however. who you can call when you feel you might slip. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. however.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. so. the more connected you feel. i. alcohol. and life just gets better and better.net 2 . Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. Unfortunately. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. A tempo that is magnetic. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. Your first step. It is important though. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. helps them suppress the pain. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. at least while they are using their drug. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound.e. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. the more vibrant and alive you become. cocaine. no matter what program you are going through. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. Allow that desire to flow through you. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate.

secularsobriety. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict.com www. However. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.com www. www. though. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. so. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. then you. but you don’t have to.practicalrecovery.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. if it is not done. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. I agree with this school of thought.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going.passagesmalibu. The sooner we realize and accept that. Many people. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. you will forever remain an addict. the addict. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. When you face this pain that you have been running from. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.org www. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003.net 3 . “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. A friend of mine once told me. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.habitdoc.

the steering wheel of your car. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. your computer.” • State your affirmations in the positive. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. Always create an image of what you want in your life. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. If necessary.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. not what you want to avoid. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. When you do this. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. So. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. Don’t let fear hold you back. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. when what you really mean is.” Or say.” the message sent to your mind. When you move towards what you want. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. then that means you are on the right track. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. always focus on what you want to move towards. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. • Always remember this.net 4 . You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. © Copyright 2003.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.” Or “I will lose weight. • Be specific. that’s like moving uphill.

When a relationship ends. In addition. hostility. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. alcoholism. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. If you see yourself as a victim. you may blame others for your situation or condition. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. resentment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. crying. eating disorders. you may see yourself as an avenger. When this is the case. drug abuse and depression. it can be just as damaging. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. hurt.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. and in small doses can be a good thing. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. looking for justice and revenge. Not only is this destructive to you. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. can lead to serious food addictions. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. and heart palpitations. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. cold hands. But some people seem to be angry all the time.net 5 . We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. So. In situations that cause fear. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. going from one trauma to the next. along with mourning. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. then anger becomes a serious health risk. Holding onto anger. fatigue. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Even if we bury anger deep inside. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. anger is the most common response. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. shaking. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently.

you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. © Copyright 2003. and can lead to serious food addictions. it will never go away. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. and can help make you more content. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. In the past. coronary disease. If you feel powerless. Also. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. however. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. releasing your anger. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. sarcastic. bitterness. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. Power and anger are frequently related. alcohol and drug abuse. suicide. cancer. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. but anger that may be directed at you by others. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. and stubborn. fear and hurt.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. Remember. expressing your anger in an indirect way. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. and even increased workplace injuries. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes.net 6 . and depression. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. Unfortunately. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones).

if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. being home alone. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol.). nausea.net 7 . The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. Also. flying. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. driving a car. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. fear or anxiety. Fears. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. etc. weakness. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. shakiness. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. mood swings. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. © Copyright 2003. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. fear or anxiety. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state.

No matter what you hear. then it would make him happy as well. Sometimes we need reminders. that happiness must come from within ourselves. No one can tell you how to be happy. a perfect balance. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I told him the usual stuff. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. place or thing that can make you happy. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. There isn’t another person. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. The problem was. Happiness. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. getting involved with a church. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. let them be a reminder to look inside.net 8 . Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance.B BALANCE. then he’d really truly be happy. Good advice. right? Yes and no. Twelve hours of day and night. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. it didn’t work. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. Just think about that a moment. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. you know.

stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. to balance the light and dark within yourself. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. stop thinking it to death. But even more than that. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. Whether it’s an emotion. fulfillment and life find you. It will. the right kind of suggestions. our voice. working for you.co.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. goal. feeling. and in doing so. job or whatever you are seeking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. In this state.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. jane@changingpeople. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. You are able to access your subconscious. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. even the words we use. No matter how hard we may try.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. if we are angry. That means stop analyzing everything so much. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. Woods. desire. lover. happiness. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C.net 9 . They allow you to clear out the old. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind.

And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. To a degree that can be true. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. That said. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. you must do what is right for you. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . It is an immutable part of the human condition. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. However. just a little. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. for example. and so on. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. and generally we prefer not to think about it. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time.net 10 . letting relevant people know. © Copyright 2003.the intensity and duration may differ. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help.

“If I do this. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. uncaring. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. or those suffering alongside us. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable.net 11 . These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. we may need to be told several times.Denial A second common response. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. © Copyright 2003. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. we may be compelled to visit the scene. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. Some enlightened doctors know. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. is a refusal to believe the news. recognizing it and naming it. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. We may need evidence. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. Often that is enough. a normal response. For example. when they are breaking bad news to patients. or for feeling angry. It is unrealistic but again. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. once the first shock waves have abated. Help them tell you their feelings. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. This is where someone less involved can offer help. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. and just plain wrong. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. disconcertingly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients.

For example. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. how to manage our grief. was decreed. You cannot short circuit this process. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. like fundraising for a particular charity. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 12 . in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. even perhaps depressed. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. I have lost someone significant in my life’. just let it go. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. and even our clothing. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. when our behaviour. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death.

net 13 . Experiment At some point. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. So. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. feeling there is no point. This does not mean forgetting them. People want to help but they often don’t know how. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. we experiment with new ways of behaving. however it feels. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. But actually. However hard it is. which can be a comfort. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. be it with a handshake or a hug. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. we begin to move on. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. You may find. If you need a hug. Let close friends offer you comfort. and this will of course vary from person to person. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. such as excessive use of alcohol. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. not in any sense. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. © Copyright 2003. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. in this phase. ask them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. you never go right back to the beginning.

Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. a card sincerely written. Literally. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working.net 14 . Helping In Western culture. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. so we need to use our discretion. If you can. I hope it has been helpful however. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. whether for you personally. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. or an offer of help with the shopping. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. surrounded by people. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. take medical advice. as I have said. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. taking flowers to an appropriate place. be it lighting candle. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. be it taking some homemade food round. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Of course. Again. Knowing this can help you plan for it. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. ritual can be helpful at this time. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” © Copyright 2003. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Make your peace with that and all will be well. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task.

depending on the severity of the change. some anecdotal.C CHANGE. even depressed. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. and some simply telling you how to do it.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Woods. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. Just remember this. Sometimes. some research based. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life.net 15 . Finally. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. we can get very fed up.co. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Sometimes. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. almost no one likes it. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. jane@changingpeople. depending on the change. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.

Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You are speechless at first. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. It may ring a bell with you. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming.net 16 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “What?” you say. A Story Here is a short story about change. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Worse. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. You are feeling bright and chirpy.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Finding they are. However. © Copyright 2003.

but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. no one but you is going to see this. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house.net 17 . Use two different colours if you like. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. yes.. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. That is a fact to record on the top line. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. did it make you sad.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. don’t just focus on the negatives. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. angry. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. or determined to make more effort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.. and. For example. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change.But then. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. vulnerable. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. For example. joy of joys.

They begin almost imperceptibly.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. One may approach it in a positive way.net 18 . You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. Then. however. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. Actually. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. However. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. But as the sun rises. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. Sometimes. Obviously. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. another to frown and feel aggrieved. as the dawn progresses. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. while another may be much more fatalistic. © Copyright 2003. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. Dawns. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. The same principle applies to you. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. At first. our responses to change are individual and personal. no one makes us feel anything. are funny things. Similarly with our responses to change. our thoughts. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. overloaded message units and repressed fears. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. and therefore our feelings.

They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. remember “dawn” can and will happen. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. however. Ultimately. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. you do not need to feel this way. Unfortunately. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. see the right path. When this happens.anxiety and emotions. confused or fearful. even our physical health and well being. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. Giving you the feeling of freedom. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. apprehension and fear. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. relaxation. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. need or want. you start to believe it yourself. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. confidence. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. detailed imprint of what you desire. If you are starting to feel anxious. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). © Copyright 2003.net 19 . given enough time and repetition. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. you are in essence training your mind. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. but will actually consider them an order. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. inept. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. Be absolutely clear about what you want. For example. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. clumsy. If you hear over and over that you are stupid.

Know that no matter what things might look like. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. It does make a difference. It’s the life in your years.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. yoga. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. so. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. confidence and trust.achieving prosperity.” So live your life fully. you always have a choice. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. you need to be aware. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Guide them. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. all of your life. Trust that the Universe has. in addition. abundance. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust.net 20 . mold them and do it over and over again. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. with clarity. want and desire. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. As Abraham Lincoln once said. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. does and will continue to offer you what you need. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. realizing all the possibilities available to you. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. If you want a New Beginning. then the real fun can start. You will feel stronger. it is a journey. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are actually living the life you want. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations.

knowing. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. look and listen. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. It is important not to go looking for your sign. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. dolphins . But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. © Copyright 2003. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss.net 21 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. our answers are all around us. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. I truly believe that faith. yellow balloon.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. courage. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. The problem is that we communicate differently. engage and listen. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to.

the way we communicate with each other. and how natural and normal this is. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but E&P affects. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. opposites really do attract. © Copyright 2003. among other things. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. These two types. It is the physical who yells. First. whatever when upset. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. cries. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. An example would be. if you ask a physical if they are cold. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. So. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. Communication. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. possibly even throws things when angry. it isn’t. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. screams. how they can come apart. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. people don’t realize just how true this is.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. however. is so much more than simple questions. enjoys spur of the moment activities. they will answer yes or no. In relationships. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.net 22 .

Since we tend to project our thoughts. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. Remember though. they can ruin lives. you can see how this could be problematic. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. however is just one part of communication. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Conversely.The same thing occurs when communicating. This E&P communication. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. the more the physical pushes. It becomes a vicious circle.net 23 . © Copyright 2003. You had to be strong. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. We heal from physical injuries. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. self-confidence. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Also. Words have power.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. bad relationship and can keep on going. wider and stronger each and every day. dreams and desires. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. each of us. your talent. The same holds true for what you hear. Make some calls. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. But you are wrong. find out what you can do. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. beautiful heart and so much love to give. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. © Copyright 2003.net 24 . it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. keep your thoughts strong. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. As a matter of fact. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. throughout your life entire life. You know because I say it over and over again. Also. is powerful beyond belief. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Your life depends on it After all. leave. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. The woman who has come out of a nasty. intelligence and compassion. But most of all. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. but not only that. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. by working it. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. someone will answer. This is why “words” do have so much power.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Think and dream about your future. this planet needs you. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. call out for help.

our child. scream and yell and swear all you want. But when you are with someone you care about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. words can hurt you. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones…….Each of us. Vent when you are alone. Once said they are out there forever. And that’s really what venting to another person is. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. words can destroy you. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. husband. wife. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. © Copyright 2003.net 25 .

In fact. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. According to Dr.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. but in essence they are just like any other habit.net 26 .D DEPRESSION. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. Miller goes on to stress. No one is born with such a brain -. if we want to. DIETING. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. thought patterns and thought habits. suicidal feelings. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. conditions and illnesses. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later.it is created. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if this work fulfills its potential. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. As research continues in this area. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves….Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. In addition. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. Jill Ammon-Wexler. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. however. depression. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. AND -. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. According to Dr.even into very advanced old age. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. Dr. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. and just like any other habit. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. Researchers like Dr. © Copyright 2003. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available.

use it or lose it. I don’t want to be around negative people. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. what we say to ourselves. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. I just want to be happy. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. What we think. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. © Copyright 2003. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. even more importantly. etc. What it does understand. “disappointed in my relationships”. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and.net 27 . are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. though. “unhappy”. healthy muscles. fulfilled life.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. Think about that a moment. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy.

Woman’s World. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Fixing one problem can often help the other. When you can take a truth and internalize it. October 18. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. subconscious level. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. 2005. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear.. whether it is physical or emotional. including cancer. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. epilepsy. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. reflect on the contrary.net 28 . “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Reflect on the positive. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Parkinson’s disease. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Take responsibility for your thoughts. So. stroke and Alzheimer’s. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. Pay attention to what you are thinking. When there is negative thinking. Ph.” observes Dr. Massachusetts. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. on a subconscious level. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Bruce Cohen. it will continue to go on. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. heart disease.D. 100 times more. with the aid of hypnosis.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. is originating on a deeper.

We all know the difference between bad and good fats. we are really only getting part of the story. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. but in addition. especially our young women. Chocolate was bad for you. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. Confusing. we just don’t want to do it. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. people. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. and these are serious issues indeed.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. test or theory. First we were told that fat. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. When most of us think about diet and weight. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. especially in the United States. any kind of fat. now again we are hearing. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. it seems as if all the doctors. © Copyright 2003. and of course. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). And throughout all of it. The truth is. then we were told maybe it isn’t. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women).net 29 . and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. according to the New York Times. sometimes to death. Part of one study. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. diet and weight. is bad for you. The first diet included six small meals a day. never a comparison with all the other studies. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. the second diet was only three meals a day. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. particularly among our young people.

Releasing negative thoughts. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. and getting the right kind of support and advice.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. With the internet available to all of us. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. As we live our lives. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Just as with any weight. a lack of fulfillment. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. by taking control of our thoughts. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. weight issues are rarely just about weight. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. one of the first things I tell them is. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. satisfaction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In fact. both emotional and physical. Knowledge is indeed power.net 30 . “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. it can include abandonment issues. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. © Copyright 2003. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. confidence or happiness.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine.

Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. take control of your thoughts and change your life. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. that we keep going back to it. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. If you don’t like it. what do you think about. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. what do you see. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques.. though is not just about external fact. what does your world look like. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. © Copyright 2003. This is. I keep going back to this one phrase. So wonderful.e.com. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. in fact. observe how you feel. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can continue the work on your own. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.net 31 . fear. i. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control.Knowledge. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. Look at yourself. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. though just an illusion.

EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. any negative experience. general stress. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. While EFT certainly has it share of critics.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. Not a hypothetical path. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body.net 32 . anger. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. addictions and phobias. a negative experience itself. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. As I’ve written before. ENERGY. fear. including depression. depression. posttraumatic stress disorder. © Copyright 2003. has no value of its own. EMOTIONS.

This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. With or without hypnosis. As stated earlier. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. understanding the negative experience is not enough. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remember. to addiction. war trauma or severe physical illness.net 33 .It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. © Copyright 2003. do not use self-hypnosis. and more importantly. In addition. EFT can help with both the cravings. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. weight loss to pain and illness. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. deprivation. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. With regard to addictions. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. emptiness and anxiety. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you.

The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. hurt and unforgiveness. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. hurt. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. It can even be linked to suicide. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. meditation. One such study by Dr. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Likewise. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. a German physician conducted with the help of 20.net 34 . you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. hostility. but our physical health as well. resentment. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. accidents and increased workplace injuries. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. Ryke Geerd Hamer. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. For example.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. even more importantly. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. By forgiving. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life.

doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. seems somewhat contradictory. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. that we are out of balance.net 35 . synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. exposure to toxic substances. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. etc). In addition to nurturing your mind. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently.specifically. pathogens. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. diet. but it is not. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. In most cases of cancer. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. white flour. vaccines. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. such as genetics. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. it prevents depression. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. whole grains. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Throughout this book you will find theories.

your mind and body relax more and more deeply. imagery. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. or an inability to let go and just relax. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. While listening to your hypnotherapist. but balance will return. © Copyright 2003. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. So. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Hypnosis can help you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 36 .who have the ability to relax more fully. stress. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing.

It helps if you put your fork down between bites. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. whole grains. Fruits and vegetables and spices. FOCUS. Increase your intake of fish. Drink more water. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Fiber. soy. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. 2. Their phytonutrients . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.carotenoids in carrots. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. nuts. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day.F FABULOUS. turmeric. which as we know reduce inflammation. The indigestible parts of fruits. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. © Copyright 2003. Healthy fats. Chew properly. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Eat the right foods. aiming for 30 to 50 times. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets.net 37 . garlic liberally. try counting the chews in each bite. until the food becomes liquid. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. primary by reducing the inflammation. safflower and vegetable oils. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. FEAR.

and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Pesticides. our hair. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. But breathing is also effective. The solution: Sweat. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. Breathe. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. our skin. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Any form of exercise helps. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. 3. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. 4. our tissues. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. but so will saunas and hot baths. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. our organs. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Eat homemade food. Detox.) If under pressure at meals. 6. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. 5.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. Sweat – cleans up your system. As a matter of fact. take deep breaths. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. chew. Our blood is what creates our cells. Detox is a relative term. Losing weight gradually . chemicals from manufacturing.net 38 . Regular exercise should make you sweat. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. which creates less gas. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland.

grains. fried foods. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. fats.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. 9. etc. our relationships. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques.consists of slow. Have a home-made facial. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. 10. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . improving your healthy well-being. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. meats. Have sex. refined flours. 8. I call it facial meditation. bread. Laugh.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. Tai chi -moving meditation . Yoga poses reduce stress levels. focused.net 39 . diary products. our jobs. © Copyright 2003. hydrogenated fats.it is delicious. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. and improve overall health. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . you sure can laugh at one. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. 7. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. relaxes your body. Even if you can’t tell a joke. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. Take the laughter yoga class. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. boost mood.

net 40 . Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. insomnia or lack of energy. though. a short while. fear of success.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. it keeps us from making a big mistake. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. That one thing is FEAR.naturalcounselor. or even worse.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. FEAR: fear of change. healthy and joyous life you want. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. one thing seems to come up most frequently. mood swings. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. what we expect. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. fear of failure. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. that one thing. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again.

pretend and let our imaginations soar. career and health because you are afraid of failing. in order to be an adult. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. © Copyright 2003. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. Something that is important to you right now. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. we were told to leave those dreams behind. People without strong desires slowly whither away. When you have specific.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. friends and lovers live this kind of life. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. we have chosen. the more connected we feel. As children we were free to play. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. have a reasonably happy life. But. we are afraid to dream. relationships. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. write down your goals and if you did write them down. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure).” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. If you haven’t done so already. as we grew older. the more vibrant and alive we become. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. This is wrong. We were told to grow up. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. for the most part. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. get out your list and read it again. 2. instead.net 41 . Your goals must be your very own. the world of adults. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. and grow up. and life just gets better and better. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. afraid of disappointment. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Be honest. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents.

I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. breathing things. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. a powerful tool. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Remember the Power of Affirmations. doing something together. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. life coach or whomever and ask for support. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. parent.3. You know. 4. As an example. laughing. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. When you say your affirmations out loud. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Sometimes. FOCUS Look around you. If you have not asked for support much in the past. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. even though we would gladly give it if asked. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. push yourself to ask for help now. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. 5. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. though. Use them. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. crying and so on. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. it’s hard to focus. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. if your goal is to run a marathon.net 42 . Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. Focus.

By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process.taste. our subconscious is able to do this for us. resentment or anger. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units.net 43 . It disables your emotional resources. success and fulfillment. Over time. psychological imbalances. forgive and accept forgiveness. © Copyright 2003. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. This is commonly referred to as memory. whether asleep or awake. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. touch. recorded on brain and body cells. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. negative or neutral to our mental. During the course of a day. it still exists in our subconscious. physical and emotional well-being. that release. When we go through periods of stress. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. interpersonal and relationship problems. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. and its effects may be positive. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Luckily. The subconscious processes everything. though. though. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. smell and hearing. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. health. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. affirmative statements. confront the situation as needed. sight. you are bombarded with millions of message units.

heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. During the Releasing session. anger. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 4. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness.net 44 . the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. 2. existing situation. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. fear and anxiety. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. laughter and perspiration. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. 5. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. Even when we sleep long hours. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. They are also © Copyright 2003. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. This not only applies to a current. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. 6. 3. tears. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. Once learned. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue.

This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. disappointment. etc.net 45 . I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. however. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. “I release (relevant emotions. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session.).” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. such as anger. once learned. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. function as a computer operator. have learned. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. 8. As people from all backgrounds. as a Soul.” 7. © Copyright 2003. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. the brain is your biological computer. the Releaser is asked to state. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. and feeling great. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). and your body and life are the printout. can be done alone. sadness. including health care professionals and clergy. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively.

When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Think of it as a game. This same principle works the same way for emotions. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being.’ it is who you are right at this very moment.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. We find ourselves drifting along. a diversion to keep life interesting. You choose what you want in your life. fun. I don’t know about you. Without goals. take the color blue for example. If you think about anger. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. Conversely. Not only in your own relationships. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. meaningful and exciting. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. Sometimes. not only does life get depressing. “I don’t know what I want. After you’ve done this. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. A really simple way to test this theory is this. though. an activity or a thing. Each of us is already whole. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. whether it is an emotion. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. thoughts and ideas. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. A state of being is not an emotion. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. your current life situation.net 46 . I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. something that is crucial to goal setting. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. if you think about a color. not really happy.

o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. But you can’t manifest everything you want. doesn’t mean I can have him. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. it would be a boring and scary world. keeps us feeling alive.net 47 . sometime weekly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. He’s got free will just as we all do. not if you want to improve your life. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. they will never be overwhelming. simple Measurable. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. change is the whole point. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. © Copyright 2003. If you do this regularly. Don’t forget about free will.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. responsible. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. it just means you make an adjustment. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). Adjustments are a good thing. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.Remember. © Copyright 2003. So. set those goals. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.net 48 . The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.

Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. imagery. As David Spiegel. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself.D. In a pilot study published in 1999. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. lower blood pressure. It can help relieve pain. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state.H HEALING. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Working from the inside out. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. turning some functions on and others off. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. © Copyright 2003. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. and help strengthen the immune system. visualization and positive suggestions.. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. Ph. by using specific. relieve depression and so much more. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. speed up healing after surgery.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. releasing negative thoughts. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).net 49 . in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level.

” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. The suggestions. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. © Copyright 2003. that’s because it is. though. Every 15 minutes.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. anxiety and the need for painkillers. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed.net 50 . empathic care provider and hypnosis. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. and the third received standard care. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. Arreed Barabasz. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. During the operation. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. soothing kind of treatment.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. in terms of levels of pain. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.

neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. “It’s not just a fantasy. A journey that you can now control. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. involving more than 330 patients. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. you actually see it. And this list goes on and on.” says Marc Schoen. psychologists say. If you think you are seeing color. the hypnotized patients used less medication. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. then the real fun can start. which could account for heightened attention. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. the brain’s manager and planner. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. experienced less pain. On average. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. While in the trance.net 51 . realizing all the possibilities available to you. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. Once again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the hypnotized subjects used less medication.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. Spiegel and Lang found. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies.” Using imaging technology.” says Spiegel. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. In effect.

the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. you can do this exercise while awake.jealously. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. we each have to deal with something. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. With a bit of practice. We have to cope with irritating.net 52 . All life starts as a spark. hurt. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. As we each move through life. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. Sometimes. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. Problems that we encounter every single day. rude or just plain nasty people. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. © Copyright 2003. fear. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. hurt. tension and minor frustrations. though. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. Each incident throughout the day affects us. My purpose is to help them remember. Some little problem or some big problem. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When I say fuel. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. stress. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. resentment. unpleasant. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. Try it once and feel the results. this spark can grow a little dim. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think.

The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. clarity.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units.” Using hypnosis.net 53 . Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. you will feel refreshed. anything at all about yourself. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. however. © Copyright 2003. every message unit. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. euphoria and control of your life again. a professor of psychology at Harvard. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. comfort. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. If there is anything in your world. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. feel or react. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. As a result. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. and much better about yourself. The more visual and real you make your goal. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. you create a vivid. Some pleasant. Try hypnosis. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. According to Stephen Kosslyn. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. relaxed. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but the results will amaze and delight you. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. not only will you feel better immediately. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. more positive thoughts.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc.cheryloneil. build self-confidence. mend your ways. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. However.. fear or confidence. feel more loved. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. good or bad. fixing a problem in one place. failure or success. boost your mood. depressed © Copyright 2003. etc. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. 2006. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. The brain is simply another organ in your body. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity.net 54 . can often help the other. once wrote. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Your ability to overcome obstacles.” Cheryl O’Neil. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. What we experience as feelings.I IMAGERY. create passionate relationships.is determined by the thoughts you think. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. www. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. who I especially admire. Never. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Simply put.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. and change your life . Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. September 26. Conversely. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. heal your body. As stated in Woman’s World. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live.” What we think. what we say to ourselves. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. More and more doctors as well as patients. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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INTUITION
Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Reiki. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first.com. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. “What we think about we bring about. Motivation.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow.qualifiedlifecoach. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. Meditation. You rise above thinking in mediation. The fourth part is training your mind. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.net 58 . Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. You know that saying. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Abundance. Law of Attraction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.com © Copyright 2003. Another way I practice is with elevators. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. use a deck of cards. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Private & Group Coaching. 98% of the time I am right. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Self Esteem. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you.

guilt and a lack of self-esteem. You are angry. envy. and grow. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. succeed. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be.net 59 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. You feel violated. you may go into a rage. That’s the truth of love. projections.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. enjoy their life. no matter what that entails. delusions. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. If you can cool down. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. and if so. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. You want to stop what you are feeling. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. You want to see them become more of who they are. Often. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. You want revenge. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. in control of yourself and your partner. It is essential to communicate clearly.

you cannot make a person love you. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. It does not. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. © Copyright 2003. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person.net 60 . you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If your relationship is based on Attachment. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. If you can do this. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. the jealousy resides within you. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. not within the relationship. you cannot. Jealousy is like an onion. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. If you move inward and look at yourself. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. You can give yourself the gift.

it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. we find envy. You do not own it. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. guilt or anger. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Another layer is projection. really look and analyze them. envy. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. This is natural and normal. These all grow out of expectation.net 61 . Look at the reality. The truth is that for most of us. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. there is nothing to feel guilty about. Going down to an even deeper layer. We think that we should be able to rise above it. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. you can reach self-awareness. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Look at your beliefs. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. Another layer can be guilt. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. This insight. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. It is their own. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is projecting. the truth behind what you are feeling. Projection. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it.

you can watch that love radiate out for all.net 62 . Once you release the anger. our childhood. let that guide you. You do not need to experience jealously. If you love someone. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. Fear of loss. You become vulnerable. you become yourself possessed. You can choose to move away from those feelings. When you attempt to possess another person. frequently they are not real. Perhaps you fear abandonment. they still don’t meet your expectations. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. then what you are experiencing is not love. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. If you find yourself doing this. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. If you are experiencing jealously. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. but attachment. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. By looking deep within. fear of being alone. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. fear of not being worthy of love. Open your heart and mind to it. look deep within yourself at these feelings. When you love. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. © Copyright 2003. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. They come from our past. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. the resentment and the hurt. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. Surrender to it. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Hypnosis can help. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. and let that be who you are.

KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. but generally the concept is basically the same. present and future and because of this. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. all of which determine our future. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. if you prefer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. Jain. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Just a thought. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). There is no judgment involved.net 63 . The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Most people © Copyright 2003. or alternatively. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect.K KARMA. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny.

stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. If you are not satisfied with your life. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. but fate makes no allowance for free will.net 64 . Fate implies no choice. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. prophet. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. saint or seer. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. fate and destiny are not the same. In the belief systems of many cultures. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified.associate Destiny with fate. Step in. © Copyright 2003. In the Shang dynasty in China. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. participate and change the direction you are heading. As stated above.

start by writing it down. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is.” It’s about where you put your focus. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. LOVE.00 a year income. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. For example. The old saying. What ever it is. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one.000. that can help you with exactly that. “What you think about will happen in your life. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. LIFE. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. © Copyright 2003. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. “Let the chips fall where they may”. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want.net 65 . The concept of the law of attraction is. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. is a good analogy. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is.

You asked for what you wanted. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. now grab it. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. pay attention to what happens next. talk to those people. Now the key here is to follow up with this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. You have made it clear. allowing it to happen is vital.net 66 . Now that you have set this up. There is something there to be learned or gained. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. pay attention. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. you then attracted it. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. I promise you it will show up. don’t panic. etc. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you.

in a different package. a very wise woman. who has no idea that she is.net 67 . the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. Not only that. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. originally thought of.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. Go to my web site for more information. Individual Coaching.” And I realized as she told me this. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. you used them to learn about yourself. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. You never. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. So live your life. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. She told him something I want to share with all of you.qualifiedlifecoach. maybe © Copyright 2003. The sooner we realize and accept that. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. that is the Universe telling you go….com. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. she said “You didn’t waste those years. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. It is never wasted and it is never lost. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. www. life is messy. Group Coaching. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. tele-classes and resources are offered. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back.

t.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. living this life to experience love. A noun. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. First. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. compassion and faith. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. © Copyright 2003. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. some which I like and others not so much. romance. but yes. then. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. I was reminded recently. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. trust . or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. I’m not sure why exactly. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. often including a desire to help. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. [Obs. healing. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. dating. Definition: To pity.] Shak. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. you are perfect. sex. married or alone. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. v. I know. partnered. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. all kinds of love. never have. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache.net 68 .” When we talk about compassion. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. com·pas·sion.

treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. Give yourself a break. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know).net 69 . why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. that negative voice in your head. heal others and yourself. measurable phenomenon. someone around you. Luck is a real. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. and. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. nobody can make it for you. can start to love themselves as well. as well. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. © Copyright 2003. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. My only question to your would be this. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. Instead of listening to that old record. lazy or self-indulgent. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining.K. then maybe. in the process. with all their faults. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. one that you can get behind. those we live with. then someone else. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. work with or just come into contact with.Another thing that is so important to remember.

Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. but the underlying causes vary. “Depression may look like a single disease. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. 2007 article. certainly not for a real man. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. Depression can manifest in many different forms. And yet. February 26. MIND-BODY CONNECTION..D. and so do the ideal treatments. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem.M MALE DEPRESSION. (Harvard Medical School).e. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. As Dr. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. M. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. In the past. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. or even make the depression worse. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. In addition.net 70 . During the past 50 years. the depression and the cause of that depression. with all these statistics facing us. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death.” Michael Craig Miller. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. sex. This can make treatment especially difficult. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007.

however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hurt. without help. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. Edward M. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge.. resentment.net 71 . October 18. Using © Copyright 2003. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. This is not easy. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. helping you regain strong mental-health. Ph. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. With the aid of hypnotherapy. love and happiness beyond measure. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. the healing process. bitterness. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. guilt and depression. difficult and painful process. As I quote above. you take back control of your own life. Woman’s World. When you release the hurt. Hallowell. without wanting or meaning to. Sometimes. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. fear. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. fear or anger that you are experiencing. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. As Dr. smooth and without bumps or potholes. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. When this occurs. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. During the course of this journey and these detours. When you recognize that this is occurring. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving.D. Working from the inside out. There are detours that we must take. 2005.

” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. resentment. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. eating disorders. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. In addition. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. hurt.net 72 . but our physical body as well. drug abuse and depression. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. hostility. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion.000 brain scans. Holding onto anger. Dr. alcoholism. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. With the help of 20. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. can lead to serious food addictions. meditation. pathogens. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. © Copyright 2003. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. Ryke Geerd Hamer. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. a German physician. including diet.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This has been proven by Dr.

It requires that you develop a success mind. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. keeping track of what is working and what is not. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. but to your thoughts as well. Take control of your own thoughts and actions.net 73 . use it and use it frequently. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.exposure to toxic substances. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. anger is what you will bring into your life. guide them in a positive direction. I have been there and there is a way out. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. Believe me. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. vaccines. Success is largely an inner game. whole grains. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. yoga can help. thought or image. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. etc. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). This is a way of thinking. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. white flour. etc). more than just your emotional well being is at stake. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. In addition to nurturing your mind. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Success is a process of continually learning new information. and © Copyright 2003. Ph. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. Meditation works.D. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. if you focus on anger. and this applies to any negative emotion. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.

Take action.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. or successful businessperson. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. Take time to dream. but also change the world. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. inventor. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. Develop a process to examine your fears. fear of hard work. possibility is in the dreaming. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Yet. fear that we are not good enough. While success requires action. learn from your mistakes. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. hardship. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. generate new ideas. and create new realities. if you talk to any star athlete. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. and failure. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. The success mind trains itself to ask. and keep moving forward. foster creativity. the less we fear them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. see unlimited possibilities. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. Fear of change.net 74 . conditioning. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. You will have to change to be successful. make adjustments along the way. fear of what other people will think. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. Gather new information. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. you simply need to start. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. exploring one more option or opportunity. fear of failure. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. This is one of the laws of success. © Copyright 2003.

Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. your world and your success. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. form opinions. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Remember. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. But once you say no to an opportunity. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. your feelings. adventure.net 75 . watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. Your thoughts. The time to begin is now. experience. Not simply because you say yes. Question. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. your actions. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. and success. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. think. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. You continue to grow. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. As you do this. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. try on new perspectives. challenge. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. you likely will feel fear. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. It is never too late to develop your success mind. create. Mental toughness. and grow. When you say yes.

com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.D. Dream big and take consistent. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. and smart action. Visit her at www..bestlifedesign. Inc.. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. directed. performance coach. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail.net 76 . lawyer.D. better. Mollie Marti. redirect the effort.success and rewards your effort. J. make corrections. Stop caring what other people think. Ph. mediator. and healthier lives.com or www. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.molliemarti. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. © Copyright 2003. happier. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. is President of Best Life Design. engage again and refuse to quit.

NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Unfortunately. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). However. sports. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. and interpersonal influence. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us.net 77 . however. sales. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. management training. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. There is. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. linguistics and computer science. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. John Grinder. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Robert Dilts. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. think we are making progress or stagnating. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. remember that red not only represents life force. You have the power to change your perception. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. Whether it makes us happy or sad. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. health healing. red would probably not be the best color to use. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. use Yellow) money. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain.net 81 .medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. activity. fire. growth. Also. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use it for minor headaches. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. occurrence. © Copyright 2003. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused.

this is how it works. there will be no emotional response. Once you have faced your phobia. But the results tend to be permanent. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. If you are suffering from a phobia. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. © Copyright 2003. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. By the time your therapist is done. this power. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. it can make your life almost unbearable. but it is not a gift at all. Depending on the phobia. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It can be done in person and over the phone. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. Perception is a powerful thing. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. You are then taken back to the phobia again. Relief is truly immediate. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. control it and use it wisely. Sometimes. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Basically. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Take control. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement.net 82 . take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. though. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist.

it may be necessary to make some changes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. joyful and full life filled with love. happiness. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. fulfillment and yes. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. fun.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. fear of failure. and not just money or things. money as well. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. both written by Dr. even fear of success. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Fear of change. however. Frequently they are a result of fear. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past.net 83 .” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. and not just a lack of money or things. Marti. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. prosperity includes a rich. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. you will enjoy them immensely. thinking and dreaming. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. In order to accomplish this. Mollie W.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. as I started to research this a bit. We can see it. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. smell. Time. Supersymmetry.net 84 . however. standing as a physical world. in about three or four paragraphs! So. © Copyright 2003. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. and hear it. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. the Copenhagen Interpretation. Unified Field Theory. touch it. M-Theory. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. space. external universe. solid. String Theory. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. They exist within consciousness. In the dream it all seems very real. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. separate from us. instead. around us. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. hear. Loop Quantum Gravity. However real and external these images may seem.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. not the other way around. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Grand Unified Theory. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. independent and apart from us. they are all phenomena within the mind. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. Schroedinger’s Cat. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. taste. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. Quantum Gravity. in addition. touch. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. Theory of Everything. and tangible. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. It appears undeniably to be out there. Superstring Theory. EPR Paradox. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. because what was a mechanical. utterly real.

if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.net 85 . and there’s only one real way to do that. Cool.So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. huh? So. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.

R RELATIONSHIPS. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions.net 86 . cries or screams when upset. if you are not. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. how they can come apart. First. © Copyright 2003. These two distinct types. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. congratulations. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. Unfortunately. In addition. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. RELEASING. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. It is the physical who yells. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. However. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. read on. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. our behavior patterns. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. possibly even throws things when angry. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous.

is quite a bit different. The emotional. This is natural. With the physical female. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. I really do mean attraction. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. And boy do they do relate. When his partner complains that they never see each other. When they first meet. She on the other hand. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. When I say E&P attraction. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. For the physical. longer hours at the office. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. what the priorities of each are. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. he cannot understand why. Their first priority is their career. She is happy. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. secure and © Copyright 2003. outgoing. on the other hand. Next would be their children. Let’s cover very briefly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. his career. In relationships. So he starts spending more time at work.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. But let’s look into the future several months. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. And that’s a good thing. To her partner it is his career. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. then hobbies.net 87 . After all. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. the relationship is of primary importance to her.

Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. releasing occurs naturally. The process is quick. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. communication is key to any successful relationship. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. sadness. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. fear and guilt. © Copyright 2003. to get clear on your goals for the future. When we are healthy and balanced. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. Release anger. Remember. With communication you can understand each other. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. Plenty.net 88 . without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. When you understand how the other thinks. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. Sometimes. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. What can be done about this. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. though. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. Interestingly enough. This is done through imagery and suggestion. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships.

D. doubts. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. That may been all you need at this time. physical. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward.net 89 . process and recall information. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and emotional states. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. fears. unpredictability and lack of control. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. anger. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. Both techniques are effective. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. Negative expectations. positive thoughts. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Ph. use your downloadable sessions first.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. hurt. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. body and emotions. If your subconscious is ready. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions.

It’s going to be a gloomy. Many rituals are quite simple. make a choice to expect positive results. build in ways to recoup your energy. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. and in countless other interactions. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night.net 90 . You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. As you spend energy during the day. Rather. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. For example. You spend mental. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. You wake up and your first thought might be. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. Rest is any activity. reading a book. As you add them to your day. to your computer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Think and say. over the telephone. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. You give energy away to other people. in and of © Copyright 2003. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. each and every day. taking in a deep breathe. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. boring day. These types of performance routines consist of ten components.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. you are ready for it.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. “It’s gray and cloudy. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today.

While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. you are less able to concentrate on your task. For example. fatigue. and anxiety. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. When you carry negative emotions like fear.net 91 . frustration. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. guilt. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. nervousness. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. after working at your computer for an hour. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. anger. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. and discarding the emotion. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it.itself. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. linking it with a unique physical action. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. You’ve © Copyright 2003. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. rhythmic breathing. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. Influence Management: Before any performance. which is pleasurable and restorative. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After a 90-minute presentation.

One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. “OK. consciously look at your focal point. a piece of art. Before you perform. Any time you get distracted. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . it also had drifted off. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. As I cross the line. If you are in your office or in a conference room. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. I image a red line on the floor. or a clock on the wall. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. It immediately precedes the performance and says. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. . prior to a presentation or meeting.net 92 .simply applied a band-aid. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. Yet. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. try to use the same type of focal point. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. works well. For example. She chose a cloud as her focal point. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you travel. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. body and emotions that it is time to perform. A tangible engagement cue. but when it came time to start. you might choose a banner. I “turn on” my full engagement. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. back to my task. even if it is a good thing. . Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. can be viewed as a distraction. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. This leads to a less than stellar performance. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. © Copyright 2003. As you travel or perform in different locations. such as a doorframe.

If you cannot identify your rituals. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. better. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. is President of Best Life Design. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. Inc. © Copyright 2003. As part of this process. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. A close companion is the use of stimulants. concentration.net 93 . mediator.com or www. Mollie Marti. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. Ph.D. including caffeine and adrenaline.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus..bestlifedesign. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. happier. and success. alcohol. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. and healthier lives. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. Visit her at www. they will provide great consistency. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. J. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet.D. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.molliemarti.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance.. This means that if you get away from your rituals. performance coach. lawyer. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. it won’t feel right. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. It will throw you off. successful entrepreneur. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life.

S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

SELF-TALK
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

STRESS
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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irritability. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. irritability. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. Unfortunately. etc. prunes. © Copyright 2003. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. chronic fatigue. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. blood sugar fluctuations. Vitamin B12. sesame seeds. bananas. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance.to be one of the first things that goes. worry. kelp. depression. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. oats. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. mustard greens. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. cabbage. apricots. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. kale. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Vitamin B6. leafy vegetables. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. You need eat more avocados. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. fear. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Calcium rich foods are almonds. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Almonds. salmon. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. fish. exhaustion. causing irritability and nervousness. apples. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. impatience. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. brown rice. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. broccoli. garlic. seafood. depression. such as hormonal imbalances. asparagus. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure.net 97 . Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Calcium. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. moodiness and nervousness.

Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. to work away your tension. carrots and turnips). See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. root vegetables (such as potatoes. but if something happens to us. Squeeze a squishy ball. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Walk.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss.com © Copyright 2003. brown rice. our family? So let us be stress smart.Folic acid. barley. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. you must relax. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Call a friend. lentils. though. green leafy vegetables. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. a founder of NaturalCounselor. such as a squishy ball. our cortisol levels drop. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Bottom line though. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. insomnia or lack of energy. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. mood swings. Start squeezing something.net 98 . Sing. Kiss. oranges. In addition. I know mine always have been). who will take care of our children. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. legumes. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. mushrooms. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas.naturalcounselor. salmon. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. dates. oatmeal. nobody will. tuna and whole grains.

According to the laws of physics. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. a feeling. If you wake up today focusing on debt. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. If you wake up today affirming an illness. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one).net 99 . Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. If you understand that. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. For example. but to the energy of the present moment. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. because you cannot stand still. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. I used to feel that way often. if you are having a problem with money. Energy is constantly in motion. I know I have. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together.

can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. our results suggest. Hypnosis.net 100 .vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Pain sufferers. really. for most people. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. can influence the body to heal itself. Ph.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. You don’t have to create change. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. and elastic. smooth. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes.. During the sessions. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Ph.D.D. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. it doesn’t matter why it works. the truth is. It is only important that it does. You need to make room for change. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. © Copyright 2003. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. And. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple.” Ginandes says. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. In a pilot study published in 1999. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson.” So. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. meanwhile. for example.

the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. to the left or to the right. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Take responsibility for your life and direction. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. If it’s behind you. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. © Copyright 2003. look down on the Time Line. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. it is what feels best for you. When you have determined the directions of past and future. for you happiness and your abundance. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. your love and your joy. Remember. There is no correct answers. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own.net 101 . Take your time with this. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. Remember.

I’d like you to consider another alternative. Sometimes what you need. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. even if they cannot give it back. © Copyright 2003. It can look that way to others. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. you made a mistake. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. It might not have looked that way to others. you stuck by the wrong person. bad things just happen. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. You procrastinated. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have.net 102 . Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Without getting specific about each of them. You need them to tell you to be strong. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you.

85. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. whatever feels right. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality.net 103 . Picture yourself at age 80. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. while another may be a Wiccan.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. First. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. etc. another may practice Hinduism. © Copyright 2003. Spirituality. you need to define what it is you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example. VICTIMHOOD. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. 90.

I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. mugged or even raped. Figure it out early. is you.net 104 . If it is what you believe. What areas cause you regret. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Something very unpleasant. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. then your perception makes it right. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. you will certainly feel violated. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas.Now think back over your life. or even the perceptions of our family. What value areas of your life are you happy with. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. However. Think about all the value areas of your life. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. You might get angry. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. church and society. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. but not only that. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Perhaps you are abused. then you’ve got a problem. friends. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. are you really meant to be together. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Remember. © Copyright 2003. What you might think is wrong. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy.

if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. happiness and joy available to each of us. And. It wasn’t fun. however. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much..” But. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life.. my wife doesn’t understand me. my mother didn’t understand me. etc. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. Life. my friends don’t understand me. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. But just take a moment now and really think about it. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife.S. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A rather sad. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. But now. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. Here in the U. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. my kids don’t show me any respect. and society actually encourages this thought. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. for what you do and what you say. my mother didn’t give me enough love. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. etc. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. my husband ignores me.I want you to consider something. etc. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. it means you are not responsible for anything.net 105 . to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time.

never © Copyright 2003. is powerful beyond belief. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. can often help the other. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. The woman who has come out of a nasty. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. etc. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. eventually.net 106 . because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. we lose everything. etc. build self-confidence. feel more loved. Simply. 2006. please.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live.. If that is taken away from us . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. If we take back control. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. For example. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. boost your mood. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. it is the ability to enjoy life. each of us. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. September 26. beautiful heart and so much love to give. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Fixing a problem in one place though. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. You had to be strong. As stated in Woman’s World. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security.who you are. Remember. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. bad relationship and can keep on going.

you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. If you are feeling down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 107 . relieve pain. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. increase your self-confidence. So. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. your imagination. Use the power of your mind. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. Is essence. can change how your feel. © Copyright 2003. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. depressed or negative. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in.

before facts have actually been verified. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. alcohol.e. bleached flour.. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. Not only that. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. scientists. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. it’s good again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. included six small meals a day. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets.net 108 . If. 5. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon.W WEIGHT. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. 4. WORDS. however.) 3. the only diet that had ever worked for them. diet and weight. refined. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. The truth is. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. etc. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. First one. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. Confusing.

boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 8. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 7.6. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12.net 109 . Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 17. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 19. 9. Do you associate a person. 18. 10. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. Has your mother. 20. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

self-confidence. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. having said all that. they include abandonment issues. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. WRONG! Words have power. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel.Now. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. satisfaction. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. You had to be strong. You know © Copyright 2003. by working it. survivors. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. confidence and happiness. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. you know that as strange as it may sound. Abuse victims. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. a lack of fulfillment. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. We heal from physical injuries.net 110 . More often than not. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. The second step is to take control of your thoughts.

most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Your life depends on it After all. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. call out for help. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. throughout your life entire life. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. keep your thoughts strong. intelligence and compassion. scream and yell and swear all you want. This is why “words” do have so much power. lover. but not only that. wider and stronger each and every day. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. But when you are with someone you care about. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. dreams and desires. And that’s what venting to another is. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. When this occurs. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. And for each of us. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. Vent when you are alone. someone will answer. Think and dream about your future. But you are wrong. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. As a matter of fact. your talent.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. wife.net 111 . I have to say this. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. words can hurt you. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. find out what you can do. Once said they are out there forever. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Also. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. The same holds true for what you hear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. this planet needs you. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child.because I say it over and over again. husband. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. But most of all. Make some calls.

If you do not feel ready for that.withdraw into ourselves. when things are going smoothly. especially in interpersonal situations. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body.net 112 . However. Releasing sessions can work well with these. If you can do this. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. can help. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. © Copyright 2003. or. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. much like arthritis in wet weather.

You have the opportunity to see a different future. And now let those images fade completely away. Whatever it is. © Copyright 2003. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. energy. Wait 10-20 seconds. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. the decision becomes easy. strong. binger or whatever. your energy will flow in that direction. When you have done this. vital. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Make a commitment and a decision. healthy. what is different and better.X X SMOKER. Once you decide that you want to quit. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. clear skin. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. You can choose to live your life. drinking. drinker. What do you look like. DRINKER. Before you make that decision. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. Wait 10-20 seconds. are you now sure which one you want. clear and easy breathing. you have a decision to make. BINGER ETC. doesn’t it?. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Of these two possible futures in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Make a promise to yourself.net 113 . TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Notice what you see. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. vibrant. Notice how you feel. the body you want. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. very clearly.

It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. When you first begin to work your muscles. you always have a choice. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. your life script. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. happiness. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. success. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. your entire belief system. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. you may never receive it. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. joy. © Copyright 2003. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. So. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out.net 114 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Everything in life is a choice. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in.com. Compare it to strength training. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. a better job. In making a choice. it does not mean you will receive it. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. For instance. you can only lift a small amount of weight.

com To me. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are.hollygleason. check it regularly. © Copyright 2003. check it out at www. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. looking around.According to Holly. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life.net 115 . We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie.

net 116 . cause. An antonym is apathy. or ideal and the determination to further that person. fight for your dreams and your goals. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And always remember this. intensity and passion. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. cause. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. or ideal.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. please do it with zeal and without apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm.

While you are doing these three karate chops.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. © Copyright 2003.” and the “sore spot. You can also visualize this word in your mind. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises.net 117 . if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. To make this even more effective. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.” “gamut spot. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. There are 15 points.

net 118 . Do what feels right for you. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. 10. anxiety. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 4. 3. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 9. 12. or AFRAID. This is not a sentence. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 5.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 6. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 8.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 11. or DEPRESSED. fear. you can use just one or two words. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 7.” © Copyright 2003.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can go through the tapping process several times. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. or anything you want changed. 2. but do each issue separately.

“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. ideas and beliefs within yourself. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. By burning away all anger and negativity.net 119 . feelings. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. And as your heart fire increases. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. As you do this. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. you open all pathways to love. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. hurt. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. emotions. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. I love myself. you also release all negative thoughts.” And that’s all there is to it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. resentment or negativity away. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. uncross your arms and legs. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. © Copyright 2003. And as your heart fire increases. your connection with yourself is complete.

Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. smell it. smell the salt. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing.e. days. hear the waves and the birds. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. allow that color to flow in and out as well. anyplace. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. like salt.net 120 . cleansing breath in and let it out. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Take yourself fully into this place. hours. Then imagine or visualize white granules. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. see the image). Then when you are ready. If you feel like it and have the time. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. weeks. hear it (i. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. months or even years to be released. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. If another color comes to mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. taking this time right now for myself. at the beach. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. See it.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. heal yourself and relax yourself.

Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. my guy and I are in love. activity. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. Let go of all tightness within you. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. Here’s my snapshot. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. happy and having fun together. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. You are in control and in charge of your body. emotions. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. relationship.net 121 . thoughts and feelings. or whatever it is your desire. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. yourself. © Copyright 2003. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. positive delightful reality. live in the moment and dream in the future.net 122 . I choose to forget past mistakes now. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I keep saying ranch until that image. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. With my thoughts I create my new. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. I say to myself RANCH. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I vibrate with positive energy.

... 118 acute pain.. 75........ 21. 35. 21.. 44..... 7... 60.............7.. 73 depression ... 79. 60.. 12............ 65...... 129......... 91.....58 choice2.38. 44...... 2..... 78 alternative programs .. 21. 32... 52.. 46.. 38. 126.. 31...... 7 attraction . 126..... 95..... 5.. 125..... 70........ 14..... 37. 50........ 47.......... 121 drug abuse... 6....7. 38. 114. 94... 94 baggage....... 71...... 6...... 102.. 6. 36... 38. 125 energy . 97... 42... 48. 4........... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ..... 116.. 130 apprehension............... 98. 18. 94..... 96...........D.. 97... 6.. 21. 47...... 78.. 19......... 26.... 74.......2. 5. 94. 130 focus......... 60. 34.... 35. 30...... 90. 116 disease. 44.. 124 drinking... 71.121 blood sugar ... 129 food addictions..... 78..... 110 communication . 10... 103. 38. 116 Bereavement ... 131 dreams 22.... 44.. 129 diet . 104. 126 adrenalin ........ 123.... 32... 89 fear 1. 52. 104..... 105 darkest hour ..... 106.... 121... 114...... 12 Elvira Lang . 78 forgiveness.. 127.. 104.....1. 6..... 78 affirmations.. Ph........ 117......... 50...5. 32..... 43........ 103....... 23. 39.. 128.......... 77. 10. 15..... 94... 79. 45..... 3.. 89..... 30 Eric Butterworth .... 38................ 22........ 77..8 Adrian Calabrese.......... 62.......... 42.. 54............. 44.......... 21.......... 32.... 112... 76. 130 epilepsy . 45.... 90 coronary disease... 6. 80. 37... 10 binging .. 122.. 36.9........ 7.. 63... 113... 60.. 86...D. 106.......... 109... 57...... 26.. 44. 128 anxiety 7........ 60...... 79 cancer.. 46.. 48...... 87.......... 31............ 72.. 43... 105.... 37....... 58.................. 63. 97. 45.. 104. 27..... 37..... 6.... 77... 89.....30. 101... 32........ 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma... 81.................... 122 chronic anger . 21..... 92.. 35.. 27... 78 cortisol . 118 consciousness 8...... 121.... 97..... 94....... 74... 21... 42..2... ...... 78..... 9.... 127........5...... 61.. 78. 81..... 102..54 association . 8......... 5....21 Arreed Barabasz ...... 5... 56.................. 4. 3 Alzheimer’s . 80..... 24...... 89..... 96. 79 Carol Ginandes... 81.... 95.... 24 eating disorders........ 72. 94..... 50... 119... 88..... 103. 73. 55....... 30.. 21............ 37..... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 129 alcoholism..... 76.5........ 41.... 59. 58...net i .... 114...... 76..... 47... 94..... 84.... . 6....... 33..... 56.. 76 desire.... 74.......88 clarity 9.... 32....... 39.... 35.............. 70.. 114. 3 addiction .. 106. 25. 22.. 67....... 63... 7.. 115. 27.. 104... 43....... 95.. 96...... 78 chronic pain . 53..... 1.. 24.... 36. 4........... 119 confidence.......... 22.. 7.......... 127. 19.. 97....... 8. 64... 33. 101.... 79 dream 1..107 abuse 5.53... 2. 113 Abraham Hicks ............... 102................... 46. 95 © Copyright 2003. 52....... 20... 26..... 107 Cheryl O’Neil .125 anger .... 57. 63....... 54... 78......... 21 David Spiegel.................... 112 compassion .. 28........ 3.....5.... 35... 71.24...24.... 90..86 Circle Therapy ... 41...... 89 balance .. 66.... Ph. 37........86 addict ......... 53................ 55. 81. 23.. 78 EFT . 109.... 58. 78. 79...... 97. 98....1.. 52........ 37.30 anchor . 55 Dawn Abraham ... 36. 28. 91.......... 29........... 44... 47. 78 E&P attraction ........ 84....... 6... 5. 35. 5.3.... 23... 99.. 114... 27.. 119........... 46..2...... 71....... 81.. 20..... 35.2.... 35. 88...... 25..... 36. 16.Index 12-step programs ....... 43. 45... 110. 36... 55 emotional freedom technique . 93. 31....... 83. 76...... 22.

....... 86. 54........ 114......... 58. 30. 119 neuro-linguistic programming ......... 26....... 6.............. 89..76 Hridaya Yoga.... 37............... 53............. 79.....24 Journal of Clinical Psychology..... 83....2.. 44......... 83 overload . 22.... 118.. 58........ 79.. 84... 77...... 95.... 77. 36...... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ... 6... 10... 127 hypersuggestible ....... 78.. 74.. 83 Robert Dilts........ 101.... 77.. 116..... 54. 129 heart disease.....40. 94...... 57. 78..... 86 habits. 60.10. 13.... 129 grief......... 23. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ....... 54.8 hypnosis .. 89.......... 37..... 83 nitric oxide . 120 relaxation .5.... 29.. 89.. 76.. 118....10... 125 immune suppression .... 53. 15.. 27.... 46... 40... 9........ 42.............. 109.......... 77... 71 life force...... 101...... 115... 6.. 125... 113 prosperity ........ 116 happiness ..................... 32.... 105.. 37.... 64. 122....... 78..........12 habit ......9.. 47. 42............ 52.......... 77............ 7. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice.. 9...... 10. 44..... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 45............54 Irina Wardas ... 31....... 57 neural interconnections ... 65..28 John Grinder ............ 57... Woods ..... 103.. 87..... 87.... 22.. 88... 65.... 28... 21.. 121 relationships24.84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ....... 25. 5..... 19........5..... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. 109.......... 32. 53... 37....... 35... 118........ 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer .. 36........ 57.. 78. 5.. 37.. 58.. 57.... 87 lose weight 4. 7... 56....... 78 NLP.... 8.. 115 smoking............... 15.. 114 imagery .. 84 panic attacks...... 121 snapshot . 127. 122 Harvard ......10.......... 67. 113..... 110.............. 6 Pat Dennis............ 78..net ii ........... 59.........83 Law of Attraction. 35. 79.... 79... 3... 54....................... 28... 94....... 13... 34........... 16......... 35...37.. 39. 47..... 53........... 47..... 43.. 78. 54. 32...... 43... 64........ 79. 87. 43..... 109... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003.... 99............. 85..... 56.. 6......... 1..........30 high blood pressure.... 37... 26..... 30 passive-aggressive ....... 38. 117. 39.... 8........... 10..7.... 94 mood swings ................. 38.... 118 self-talk ... 83 Roger Callahan ... 117 medicine....32 hypnotherapy . 101 self-image .... 58. 43......... 38.......... 39......... 66...... 57... 107...... 107 healing ......... 77. 79....... 81......... 118 Gary Craig . 123. 37 powerless ... 50......... 4.......... 77..... 32 phobia .. 27...... 29 neuro pathways ........... 58.... 53.. 86.. 22.. 47.. 127.... 21. 119..... 53. 51... 88. 56 hurt. 63......... 128............. 50... 55.... 109.. 89 phobias...... 7.... 110...........7...... 22. 78.. 47.... 113.... 57............ 120. 125 men ... 93... 59. 37 self-esteem . 111............. 110.. 36 Guilt ...... 58. 69. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ... 60.... 37...1. 128 Richard Bandler ..... 6........... 21. 29....9.. 105 Jane C.... 76...... 95. 78. 10....... 86...... 5.... 107...... 120.....35 goal .. 43.. 49......... 5.. 30.3. 14... 47........ 46....... 10. 115................................... 99. 67...... 77......8.......... 93 message units ......... 59............. 2... 79.... 58. 32. 58.......... 37. 22.................................................... 56.................. 119. 129 resentment....... 42. 75.... 56... 102.... 33. 59... 107....fulfillment . 76............. 77..... 92.... 34. 21......... 108 Parkinson’s disease.......... 59. 112... 122 Ida Kendall . 63....... 77...... 43.. 30.... 17 Janet Luhrs..... 6.... 30... 130 Judith DeLozier .....24.... 78......32 illness 36.11.... 56...83 John Kappas.........36 joy ........... 67.... 103.

.. 95... 113............ 7......... 47....... 7...83 Stephen Kosslyn . 77. 94.53 transformation.... 112..... 77................................... 22....... 77...................... 80. 114 triggering event ............. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 85............... 6................... 30............ 2...... 59....... 58.... 6... 56...... 114 visualization.......Stephen Gilligan .. 118.... 109......................... 79... 10.. 77............ 109... 121 value areas of life...... 5........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ..... 45.......... 84............. 111 victimhood ........................ 37...... 110 Two Futures . 44.... 91..... 57..5.......... 78....... 37. 120 yummy list ...... 21..................... 115.... 43............ 116 Women..... 120 suicide........ 78.....6.. 85........ 65........ 75... 109 triggers ...... 5........... 79 thought habits . 29. 78 subconscious. 125..... 128 subconsciously.... 59.. 26.net iii ................... 48.4..57 stress hormones ......................... 122.......... 47... 34.... 37........... 30... 114 weight ............... 38. 8... 107....107 trigger........ 34. 39. 124 © Copyright 2003.... 106 wounds .......44.. 95... 60... 46....... 122 zeal..... 6.... 36......... 101.

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