An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. emotions and perceptions. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. when given the proper instructions. neuro pathways. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. As I said before. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. . feelings. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this.

.. DRUGS TO ESCAPE .......................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ....................................................................................18 COMMUNICATION ..... .......................................................37 FABULOUS ............................................................ G..................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE............. AFFIRMATIONS........................... FEAR..................... ADDICTION........................................3 ANGER .................................................8 BALANCE ......................... C........................... F..........................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)........................................................................8 BEREAVEMENT .............TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE....... E........................ D.........................................................................34 ENERGY ........................................................35 FABULOUS... ANGER. EMOTIONS...................................................................8 CHANGE...............15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ......................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)..........................21 DEPRESSION.....1 ADDICTION .................. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .........26 DEPRESSION ...........................46 SMART GOALS ........................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS...... FOCUS..43 GOALS .....................32 EMOTIONS.............................1 ABUNDANCE ............................37 FEAR ........................................................46 B...............5 ANXIETY ......................... DIETING..................................................................... ANXIETY............................................................................................ COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE............................... ENERGY ............................................................................................................................................................................26 DIETING .....................................................................................................................7 BALANCE.....................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...................................................................................... BEREAVEMENT .......................................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS...............................40 FOCUS ....................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ............................................. FORGIVENESS.....................................

.............. N.....................................72 MIND SUCCESS ........................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION................................ O...................................................67 LOVE.............................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION..............................................49 HEART FIRE .....................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION .......... MIND SUCCESS ..............................................84 I.....78 OVERLOADED LIFE .......................80 PERCEPTION ............................................................................................ INTUITION..........................................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION................................................................ PERCEPTION.................................................H................................................................81 PHOBIAS ........49 HEALING ................................................................... J..................................................................................................................................... LUCK .................... PHOBIAS...........82 PROSPERITY .. PROSPERITY .................77 OVERLOAD.......................................................................................................................................................65 LIFE...........69 MALE DEPRESSION...........................................................................................54 IMAGERY..........52 IMAGERY..78 PAIN......................................................................................51 HYPNOSIS... M........ HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).....................63 KISMET .........63 KARMA ................................ LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS............. KISMET ..................................................... Q.........................59 KARMA.73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)........................................................................................68 LUCK .. .....80 PAIN................. LOVE................................................................................ L...........................................................................................................54 INTUITION....... MIND-BODY CONNECTION...................... HYPNOSIS.................................................. P...............59 JEALOUSY.......... K.......................................... HEALING....................................................................................... LIFE................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ....................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ...............56 JEALOUSY .

...............104 VISUALIZATION .................... Z................................................ STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)........................... RELEASING.. U............................86 RELEASING ............110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS).. ii....... WORDS..................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...........102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE...............................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ....................................... VICTIMHOOD................................................. YUMMY LIST ............. Y...............................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS . i..............................................................................................................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE...........101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.................................96 STUCK ................................................................................ iii ........................................................................................................................................................................................................... T............................................116 S........................106 WEIGHT......94 STRESS ..................................................114 YUMMY LIST .......................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE... W.......113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT................................. WOUNDS ............................................................................108 WORDS.......................................................114 ZEAL ............................. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS......... SELF-TALK...........................................................................................................................111 X SMOKER...............103 VALUE AREAS.................94 SELF CONFIDENCE............... DRINKER.................................................................................. X......................108 WEIGHT ...................... STUCK ................ RELATIONSHIPS.............................................................. EXERCISES ................................................................ V...99 TIMELINE THERAPY ............................... VISUALIZATION..............................R.............94 SELF-TALK..................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS............................................ BINGER ETC .............101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ...............113 TWO FUTURES ............................................122 INDEX ...............................................................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ...........

but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. © Copyright 2003. incident. ADDICTION. it is filled with laughter. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. money and success. Even when we know we have this tool. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. love. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. occurrence.net 1 . Fear of change. fear of success. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. As a result. The future. satisfying. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. think we are making progress or stagnating. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. fear of failure. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. ANGER. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. however. we don’t trust it to be real. In order to make changes. excitement and yes. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. even worse. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. indeed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past.A ABUNDANCE. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. AFFIRMATIONS. Because of this. a life that is rich and full. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. It is our perception of any event. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. usually as a result of fear.

Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. however.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Allow that desire to flow through you. helps them suppress the pain. Unfortunately. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. i. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. cocaine. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. the more connected you feel. so. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. the more vibrant and alive you become. It is important though. who you can call when you feel you might slip. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. at least while they are using their drug. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. A tempo that is magnetic. you do have a choice. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. no matter what program you are going through. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. People without strong desires slowly whither away. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. however. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling.. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. and life just gets better and better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. Your first step. at least for a while. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. alcohol.net 2 .e. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound.

“None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.org www.secularsobriety.com www. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. www.net 3 . We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.passagesmalibu. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. then you.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. A friend of mine once told me. so. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. Many people. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. but you don’t have to. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping.practicalrecovery.habitdoc. though. the addict. When you face this pain that you have been running from. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. However. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. I agree with this school of thought. you will forever remain an addict. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. The sooner we realize and accept that. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. if it is not done. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict.com www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. when what you really mean is. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” • State your affirmations in the positive. always focus on what you want to move towards.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.net 4 . Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. If necessary. When you move towards what you want.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day.” Or say. Always create an image of what you want in your life.” the message sent to your mind.” Or “I will lose weight. So. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. the steering wheel of your car. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. then that means you are on the right track. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. © Copyright 2003. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. • Be specific. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. When you do this. • Always remember this. Don’t let fear hold you back. your computer. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. that’s like moving uphill. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. not what you want to avoid.

In situations that cause fear. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. eating disorders. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. So. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. and heart palpitations. alcoholism.net 5 . If you don’t see yourself as a victim. cold hands.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. anger is the most common response. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. and in small doses can be a good thing. going from one trauma to the next. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. Not only is this destructive to you. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. hostility. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. fatigue. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. looking for justice and revenge. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. When this is the case. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. resentment. you may see yourself as an avenger. But some people seem to be angry all the time. can lead to serious food addictions. When a relationship ends. shaking. Holding onto anger. hurt. along with mourning. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. it can be just as damaging. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Even if we bury anger deep inside. you may blame others for your situation or condition. crying. In addition. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. then anger becomes a serious health risk. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. drug abuse and depression. If you see yourself as a victim. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Power and anger are frequently related. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. Remember. sarcastic. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. coronary disease. it will never go away.net 6 . bitterness. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. alcohol and drug abuse. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. and can help make you more content. and stubborn. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). but anger that may be directed at you by others. © Copyright 2003. fear and hurt. If you feel powerless. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. Also. Unfortunately. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. In the past. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. and can lead to serious food addictions. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. cancer. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. expressing your anger in an indirect way. and depression. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. releasing your anger. and even increased workplace injuries. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. suicide. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless.

It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. shakiness. being home alone. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. flying. driving a car. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis.net 7 . fear or anxiety. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. mood swings. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. fear or anxiety. anxiety. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. Also. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. © Copyright 2003.). nausea. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. etc. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. weakness. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. Fears. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would.

place or thing that can make you happy. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. that happiness must come from within ourselves. There isn’t another person. No matter what you hear. No one can tell you how to be happy. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. right? Yes and no. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. then it would make him happy as well. Good advice. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. Sometimes we need reminders. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. I told him the usual stuff.B BALANCE. it didn’t work. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. then he’d really truly be happy. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. getting involved with a church. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted.net 8 . Twelve hours of day and night. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. a perfect balance. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. let them be a reminder to look inside. The problem was. Just think about that a moment. you know. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. Happiness.

It will. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. fulfillment and life find you. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. You are able to access your subconscious.net 9 . Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. They allow you to clear out the old. if we are angry.co.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. working for you. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. stop thinking it to death. to balance the light and dark within yourself. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. That means stop analyzing everything so much. job or whatever you are seeking. But even more than that. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. No matter how hard we may try. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. Woods. goal.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. lover. In this state. the right kind of suggestions. happiness. feeling. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even the words we use. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. jane@changingpeople. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Whether it’s an emotion. desire. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. and in doing so. our voice.

just a little. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. and so on. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. © Copyright 2003. That said. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut.the intensity and duration may differ. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. letting relevant people know. and generally we prefer not to think about it. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief.net 10 . I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. It is an immutable part of the human condition.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. However. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. for example. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. you must do what is right for you. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. To a degree that can be true. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help.

Often that is enough. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. we may need to see the person themselves if possible.net 11 . if indeed we recognize it for what it is. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. when they are breaking bad news to patients. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. disconcertingly. uncaring. we may need to be told several times. once the first shock waves have abated. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. We may need evidence. we may be compelled to visit the scene. We probably feel unable to share this emotion.Denial A second common response. or for feeling angry. recognizing it and naming it. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. is a refusal to believe the news. Help them tell you their feelings. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Some enlightened doctors know. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. “If I do this. © Copyright 2003. and just plain wrong. a normal response. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. or those suffering alongside us. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. For example. It is unrealistic but again. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do.

although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically.net 12 . how to manage our grief. even perhaps depressed. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. and even our clothing. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. when our behaviour. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. For example. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. just let it go. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. like fundraising for a particular charity. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. was decreed. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. I have lost someone significant in my life’. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You cannot short circuit this process.

in this phase. Let close friends offer you comfort. So. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. not in any sense. we experiment with new ways of behaving. we begin to move on. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. such as excessive use of alcohol. be it with a handshake or a hug. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. But actually. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. which can be a comfort. People want to help but they often don’t know how. You may find. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. If you need a hug. © Copyright 2003. feeling there is no point. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. ask them. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. you never go right back to the beginning. This does not mean forgetting them. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. However hard it is. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. and this will of course vary from person to person. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. Experiment At some point. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. however it feels.net 13 . During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one.

“Everything that has a beginning has an ending. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. so we need to use our discretion. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. taking flowers to an appropriate place. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. be it taking some homemade food round. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Again. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. I hope it has been helpful however. Knowing this can help you plan for it. whether for you personally. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. or an offer of help with the shopping. Literally. ritual can be helpful at this time. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. Helping In Western culture. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. If you can. take medical advice. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. as I have said. Of course. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. a card sincerely written. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy.net 14 . surrounded by people. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain.” © Copyright 2003. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. be it lighting candle.

Sometimes.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Just remember this. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.net 15 . This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same.co. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. some anecdotal. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Woods. jane@changingpeople. we can get very fed up. and some simply telling you how to do it. Sometimes. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Some people embrace change and some resist it. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. even depressed. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Finally.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . almost no one likes it. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. depending on the severity of the change.C CHANGE. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. depending on the change. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. some research based.

Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. You are speechless at first. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. A Story Here is a short story about change. Finding they are. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. Worse. However. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. “What?” you say. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. You are feeling bright and chirpy. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. It may ring a bell with you. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there.net 16 . You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it.

and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.. joy of joys. don’t just focus on the negatives. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. no one but you is going to see this. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 17 . Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. and.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. For example. angry. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. Use two different colours if you like. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. vulnerable. So. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. That is a fact to record on the top line. yes. did it make you sad.. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague.But then. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. or determined to make more effort. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. For example.

our responses to change are individual and personal. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. however. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. while another may be much more fatalistic. The same principle applies to you. are funny things. One may approach it in a positive way. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening.net 18 . another to frown and feel aggrieved. They begin almost imperceptibly. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At first. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. our thoughts. © Copyright 2003. and therefore our feelings. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. For example. But as the sun rises. Dawns. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. However. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. Sometimes. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. Obviously. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. as the dawn progresses. no one makes us feel anything. Then. Similarly with our responses to change. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. Actually. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. overloaded message units and repressed fears. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not.

relaxation. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk).anxiety and emotions. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. remember “dawn” can and will happen. Unfortunately. confidence. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. When this happens. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. you are in essence training your mind. confused or fearful. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. If you are starting to feel anxious. apprehension and fear. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. inept. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. detailed imprint of what you desire. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. Giving you the feeling of freedom. For example. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. however. Be absolutely clear about what you want. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. you do not need to feel this way. given enough time and repetition. even our physical health and well being. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. you start to believe it yourself. clumsy. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. Ultimately. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. need or want. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. see the right path. © Copyright 2003. but will actually consider them an order.net 19 . A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity.

abundance. As Abraham Lincoln once said. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. mold them and do it over and over again.” So live your life fully.achieving prosperity. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. It does make a difference. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. You will feel stronger. all of your life. so. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. Guide them. it is a journey. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. want and desire. It’s the life in your years. If you want a New Beginning. Know that no matter what things might look like. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. then the real fun can start. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. in addition. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. with clarity. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. you are actually living the life you want. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. confidence and trust. does and will continue to offer you what you need.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. Trust that the Universe has. you need to be aware. yoga. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. realizing all the possibilities available to you. you always have a choice.net 20 . Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect.

engage and listen. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. look and listen. our answers are all around us. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. courage. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. The problem is that we communicate differently. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. dolphins . There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. © Copyright 2003. yellow balloon. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind.knowing.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I truly believe that faith. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. It is important not to go looking for your sign.net 21 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live.

It is the physical who yells.net 22 . It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. but E&P affects. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. © Copyright 2003. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. enjoys spur of the moment activities. possibly even throws things when angry. An example would be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. screams. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. whatever when upset. they will answer yes or no. opposites really do attract. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. Communication. among other things. people don’t realize just how true this is. however. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. So. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. is so much more than simple questions. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. it isn’t. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. if you ask a physical if they are cold. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. In relationships. cries. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. These two types. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. how they can come apart. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. and how natural and normal this is. the way we communicate with each other. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. First.

feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. self-confidence. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. Since we tend to project our thoughts. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special.The same thing occurs when communicating. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. the more the physical pushes. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. It becomes a vicious circle. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. You had to be strong. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Remember though. Conversely. Words have power. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. they can ruin lives. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. This E&P communication. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. © Copyright 2003.net 23 . you can see how this could be problematic. however is just one part of communication. Also. We heal from physical injuries. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much.

Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. keep your thoughts strong. dreams and desires. Your life depends on it After all. bad relationship and can keep on going. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. your talent. As a matter of fact. Also.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. You know because I say it over and over again. call out for help. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. intelligence and compassion. this planet needs you. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. But most of all. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. is powerful beyond belief. throughout your life entire life. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. © Copyright 2003. Think and dream about your future.net 24 . The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. leave. someone will answer. find out what you can do. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. but not only that. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. by working it. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. This is why “words” do have so much power. Make some calls. wider and stronger each and every day. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. The same holds true for what you hear. each of us. beautiful heart and so much love to give. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. But you are wrong. The woman who has come out of a nasty.

don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. And that’s really what venting to another person is. Vent when you are alone. scream and yell and swear all you want. Once said they are out there forever. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. But when you are with someone you care about. husband. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. words can destroy you. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about.net 25 . © Copyright 2003. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. words can hurt you. our child.Each of us. wife.

Mood is affected by dozens of genes. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. and just like any other habit. thought patterns and thought habits. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression.D DEPRESSION. As research continues in this area. AND -.even into very advanced old age. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. In fact. we can take control of our thoughts and change them.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. No one is born with such a brain -. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. suicidal feelings. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. According to Dr.net 26 . Dr. In addition. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. Miller goes on to stress.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. depression. if we want to. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. conditions and illnesses. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. but in essence they are just like any other habit.it is created.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. According to Dr. Researchers like Dr. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. however. if this work fulfills its potential. DIETING. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Jill Ammon-Wexler.

Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. © Copyright 2003. healthy muscles. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. what we say to ourselves. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. though. What it does understand. fulfilled life.use it or lose it. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. “disappointed in my relationships”. even more importantly. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. What we think. I don’t want to be around negative people. I just want to be happy. “unhappy”.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. etc.net 27 . This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. Think about that a moment. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -.

it will continue to go on. stroke and Alzheimer’s.D. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. Ph. is originating on a deeper. with the aid of hypnosis. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. reflect on the contrary. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. heart disease. including cancer. subconscious level. Massachusetts. epilepsy. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Bruce Cohen. 2005. Fixing one problem can often help the other. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. Parkinson’s disease. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. Pay attention to what you are thinking.” observes Dr. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. October 18. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Take responsibility for your thoughts.. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 28 . so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Reflect on the positive. Woman’s World. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. When you can take a truth and internalize it. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. whether it is physical or emotional. on a subconscious level. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. 100 times more. So. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. When there is negative thinking.

but in addition. When most of us think about diet and weight. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. And throughout all of it.net 29 . the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. © Copyright 2003. people. First we were told that fat. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. Confusing. never a comparison with all the other studies. is bad for you. it seems as if all the doctors. now again we are hearing. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. The truth is. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. they are fat and unattractive! Hey.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. The first diet included six small meals a day. according to the New York Times. and of course. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. diet and weight. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. any kind of fat. the second diet was only three meals a day. sometimes to death. Part of one study. we are really only getting part of the story. and these are serious issues indeed. especially our young women. test or theory. particularly among our young people. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. especially in the United States. then we were told maybe it isn’t. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. we just don’t want to do it. Chocolate was bad for you. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard).

Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. one of the first things I tell them is. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. weight issues are rarely just about weight. both emotional and physical. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. In fact. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. Releasing negative thoughts. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. and getting the right kind of support and advice. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence or happiness. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now.net 30 . we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. it can include abandonment issues. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. a lack of fulfillment. With the internet available to all of us. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Just as with any weight. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. © Copyright 2003. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. Knowledge is indeed power. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. by taking control of our thoughts. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. satisfaction. As we live our lives. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not.

© Copyright 2003. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. in fact. though is not just about external fact. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo.net 31 . it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. I keep going back to this one phrase. fear. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. take control of your thoughts and change your life. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first.Knowledge. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. though just an illusion.com.. what do you see. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is. You can continue the work on your own. what do you think about. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently.e. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. what does your world look like. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. observe how you feel. Look at yourself. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. If you don’t like it. So wonderful. that we keep going back to it. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. i.

resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. posttraumatic stress disorder.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). anxiety. fear.net 32 . proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. general stress. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. Not a hypothetical path. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. has no value of its own. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. ENERGY. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. a negative experience itself. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. any negative experience. EMOTIONS. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. addictions and phobias. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. anger. depression. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. As I’ve written before. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. © Copyright 2003. including depression.

The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. deprivation. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. to addiction. As stated earlier. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. and more importantly. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. understanding the negative experience is not enough. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. emptiness and anxiety. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. EFT can help with both the cravings.net 33 . EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. With regard to addictions.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. In addition. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. war trauma or severe physical illness. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. Remember. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. © Copyright 2003. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. do not use self-hypnosis. weight loss to pain and illness. With or without hypnosis. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain.

studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. By forgiving. hostility. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. One such study by Dr. Likewise. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. hurt and unforgiveness.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. It can even be linked to suicide. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. accidents and increased workplace injuries. For example. but our physical health as well. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. hurt. even more importantly. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. Ryke Geerd Hamer. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. meditation. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.net 34 . you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. resentment. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.

taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial.specifically. such as genetics. Throughout this book you will find theories. diet. In most cases of cancer. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. but it is not. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. etc). doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. vaccines. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. it prevents depression. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. pathogens. seems somewhat contradictory. In addition to nurturing your mind. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. whole grains. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. white flour. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. exposure to toxic substances. that we are out of balance. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. etc. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions.net 35 . it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake.

if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. So. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. While listening to your hypnotherapist. © Copyright 2003. imagery. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing.who have the ability to relax more fully. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 36 . Hypnosis can help you. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. or an inability to let go and just relax. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. but balance will return. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. stress.

How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.F FABULOUS. Eat the right foods. FEAR. Healthy fats. Increase your intake of fish. primary by reducing the inflammation. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon.net 37 . turmeric. whole grains. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. FOCUS. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1.carotenoids in carrots. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. aiming for 30 to 50 times. 2. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. nuts. Fruits and vegetables and spices. The indigestible parts of fruits. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. try counting the chews in each bite. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. © Copyright 2003. garlic liberally. which as we know reduce inflammation. soy. Fiber. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. Their phytonutrients . like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Drink more water. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. safflower and vegetable oils. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Chew properly. until the food becomes liquid.

but it is caused by spleen imbalances.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). But breathing is also effective. As a matter of fact. chew. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. our skin. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. our organs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sweat – cleans up your system. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. Our blood is what creates our cells. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. 3. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Detox. Regular exercise should make you sweat. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. The solution: Sweat. Pesticides. 6. Any form of exercise helps. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. but so will saunas and hot baths. Eat homemade food. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. 5. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. our hair. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. chemicals from manufacturing. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. Losing weight gradually . (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify.net 38 . our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. 4. Breathe.) If under pressure at meals. our tissues. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. Detox is a relative term. take deep breaths. which creates less gas.

(Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. Even if you can’t tell a joke. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. fried foods. 9. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. relaxes your body. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. our jobs. grains. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Laugh. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes .journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga.net 39 . 10. © Copyright 2003. our relationships. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Take the laughter yoga class. etc. meats. improving your healthy well-being. focused. fats.consists of slow. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. refined flours. Tai chi -moving meditation . 8. you sure can laugh at one. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. diary products. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. and improve overall health. Have sex. bread. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hydrogenated fats.it is delicious. 7. Have a home-made facial. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . I call it facial meditation. boost mood.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique.

fear of success. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. or even worse. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. mood swings. though. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. fear of failure. it keeps us from making a big mistake. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. That one thing is FEAR. that one thing. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003.net 40 . We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. one thing seems to come up most frequently.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. a short while.naturalcounselor. what we expect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. insomnia or lack of energy. FEAR: fear of change. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. healthy and joyous life you want.

Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. 2. As children we were free to play. We were told to grow up. the more vibrant and alive we become. we are afraid to dream. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. the more connected we feel. If you haven’t done so already. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. and grow up. have a reasonably happy life. get out your list and read it again. But.net 41 . Something that is important to you right now. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. we were told to leave those dreams behind. instead. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Be honest. relationships. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Your goals must be your very own. write down your goals and if you did write them down. When you have specific. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. as we grew older. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. the world of adults. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. pretend and let our imaginations soar. career and health because you are afraid of failing. People without strong desires slowly whither away. © Copyright 2003. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. we have chosen. friends and lovers live this kind of life. This is wrong. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. and life just gets better and better.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. in order to be an adult.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. afraid of disappointment. for the most part.

push yourself to ask for help now. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Focus. Use them. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. it’s hard to focus. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. 5. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. if your goal is to run a marathon. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. If you have not asked for support much in the past. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind.3. crying and so on. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. a powerful tool. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. As an example. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Sometimes. life coach or whomever and ask for support. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. When you say your affirmations out loud. parent. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. laughing. even though we would gladly give it if asked. You know. Remember the Power of Affirmations. FOCUS Look around you. doing something together. breathing things. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. 4. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind.net 42 .

whether asleep or awake. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. resentment or anger. psychological imbalances. negative or neutral to our mental. that release. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. physical and emotional well-being. though. touch. During the course of a day.taste. When we go through periods of stress. sight. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. it still exists in our subconscious. Over time. smell and hearing. forgive and accept forgiveness. success and fulfillment. It disables your emotional resources. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. health. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. © Copyright 2003. Luckily. The subconscious processes everything. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. and its effects may be positive. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. affirmative statements. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. confront the situation as needed. interpersonal and relationship problems. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. our subconscious is able to do this for us.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. recorded on brain and body cells.net 43 . If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. you are bombarded with millions of message units. This is commonly referred to as memory. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. though. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments.

Even when we sleep long hours. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Once learned. tears. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. This not only applies to a current. anger. 4. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 5. 3. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. laughter and perspiration. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. 6. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue.net 44 . The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. existing situation. During the Releasing session. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. fear and anxiety. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. They are also © Copyright 2003. 2. Some situations are deceptively debilitating.

once learned. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. can be done alone. the Releaser is asked to state. however.” 7. and your body and life are the printout. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed.). I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. and feeling great. as a Soul. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. including health care professionals and clergy. such as anger. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. “I release (relevant emotions. have learned. the brain is your biological computer. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. As people from all backgrounds. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. disappointment.net 45 . etc. 8. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. sadness. function as a computer operator. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. © Copyright 2003.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour).

not only does life get depressing. meaningful and exciting. We find ourselves drifting along. fun. whether it is an emotion. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. A state of being is not an emotion. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. Without goals. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. Think of it as a game. “I don’t know what I want. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. Not only in your own relationships. A really simple way to test this theory is this. take the color blue for example. though. it is a feeling and a condition of existence.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. Each of us is already whole. You choose what you want in your life. After you’ve done this. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. an activity or a thing. I don’t know about you. thoughts and ideas. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. This same principle works the same way for emotions.net 46 . Sometimes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. something that is crucial to goal setting. Conversely. if you think about a color. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. a diversion to keep life interesting. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. not really happy. If you think about anger. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. your current life situation.

not if you want to improve your life. responsible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. it just means you make an adjustment. But you can’t manifest everything you want. If you do this regularly. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. they will never be overwhelming. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. doesn’t mean I can have him. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. it would be a boring and scary world. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. Adjustments are a good thing. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. © Copyright 2003.net 47 . they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. keeps us feeling alive. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. Don’t forget about free will. sometime weekly.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. simple Measurable. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. He’s got free will just as we all do. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. change is the whole point. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished).

set those goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.net 48 . The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.Remember. © Copyright 2003. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.

by using specific. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Working from the inside out. releasing negative thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. Ph. speed up healing after surgery. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. In a pilot study published in 1999.D. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. visualization and positive suggestions. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. © Copyright 2003. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. It can help relieve pain. relieve depression and so much more. turning some functions on and others off. imagery. As David Spiegel. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. lower blood pressure.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine.. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. and help strengthen the immune system. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself.H HEALING. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind.net 49 . make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses.

They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. Every 15 minutes. in terms of levels of pain. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. though. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. that’s because it is. anxiety and the need for painkillers. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. During the operation. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. The suggestions. Arreed Barabasz. For the client who wishes to quit smoking.net 50 . empathic care provider and hypnosis.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. soothing kind of treatment. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. and the third received standard care. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy .” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water.

HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. psychologists say. Spiegel and Lang found. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. Once again. you actually see it. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember.” says Spiegel. the brain’s manager and planner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. then the real fun can start. A journey that you can now control. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. While it is particularly effective in removing anger.” Using imaging technology. If you think you are seeing color. realizing all the possibilities available to you. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it.net 51 . a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. In effect. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. involving more than 330 patients. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. And this list goes on and on. which could account for heightened attention. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients.” says Marc Schoen. experienced less pain. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. While in the trance. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. “It’s not just a fantasy. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. the hypnotized patients used less medication.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. On average. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness.

The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. My purpose is to help them remember. With a bit of practice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we each have to deal with something. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. Sometimes. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images.net 52 . guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. resentment. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. though. As we each move through life.jealously. Try it once and feel the results. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. All life starts as a spark. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. hurt. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. hurt. fear. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. © Copyright 2003. We have to cope with irritating. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. stress. Each incident throughout the day affects us. this spark can grow a little dim. When I say fuel. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. rude or just plain nasty people. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. tension and minor frustrations. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. unpleasant. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. Problems that we encounter every single day. Some little problem or some big problem. you can do this exercise while awake.

it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. more positive thoughts. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. If there is anything in your world. you create a vivid. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. a professor of psychology at Harvard. comfort. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. every message unit. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. © Copyright 2003. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. euphoria and control of your life again. As a result. Some pleasant. feel or react. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. and much better about yourself. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. clarity. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. relaxed. you will feel refreshed. but the results will amaze and delight you.net 53 . Giving you a feeling of relaxation. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. The more visual and real you make your goal. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. however. anything at all about yourself.” Using hypnosis. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. not only will you feel better immediately. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. According to Stephen Kosslyn. Try hypnosis.

heal your body. build self-confidence. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. failure or success. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. However. feel more loved.is determined by the thoughts you think. September 26. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected.” Cheryl O’Neil. can often help the other. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 2006. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you.cheryloneil.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. Conversely. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. www. mend your ways. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn.. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. More and more doctors as well as patients. what we say to ourselves. create passionate relationships.I IMAGERY. boost your mood. etc. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. good or bad. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. As stated in Woman’s World. The brain is simply another organ in your body.net 54 . etc.” What we think. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. once wrote. What we experience as feelings. who I especially admire. fixing a problem in one place. Your ability to overcome obstacles. Simply put. Never. and change your life . fear or confidence. depressed © Copyright 2003.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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INTUITION
Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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use a deck of cards. Go with your first impression you get from each card. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Self Esteem. Law of Attraction.com © Copyright 2003. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.qualifiedlifecoach. Motivation. Reiki. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Another way I practice is with elevators.com. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. Private & Group Coaching. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. 98% of the time I am right. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. “What we think about we bring about. You rise above thinking in mediation.net 58 . place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. The fourth part is training your mind. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. Meditation. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Abundance.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. You know that saying.

That’s the truth of love. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. in control of yourself and your partner. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. You want revenge. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. and grow. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us.net 59 . they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. and if so. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. You are angry. You want to stop what you are feeling. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. You want to see them become more of who they are. you may go into a rage. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. It is essential to communicate clearly. If you can cool down. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. enjoy their life. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. Often. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. succeed. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. no matter what that entails. projections. You feel violated. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. envy. delusions. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship.

yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. It does not. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If you can do this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. not within the relationship. you cannot make a person love you. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. © Copyright 2003. You can give yourself the gift. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you cannot. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. Jealousy is like an onion.net 60 . What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. the jealousy resides within you. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. If your relationship is based on Attachment. If you move inward and look at yourself. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner.

Another layer is projection. you can reach self-awareness. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Going down to an even deeper layer. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. This is natural and normal. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. The truth is that for most of us. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Look at your beliefs. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. get rid of the ones that aren’t working.net 61 . and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Look at the reality. We think that we should be able to rise above it. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. It is their own. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. really look and analyze them. the truth behind what you are feeling. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. there is nothing to feel guilty about. This is projecting. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. These all grow out of expectation. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. guilt or anger. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. we find envy. envy. This insight. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. You do not own it. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Projection. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Another layer can be guilt. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy.

If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. If you find yourself doing this. They come from our past. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. frequently they are not real. fear of being alone. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. the resentment and the hurt. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. When you love. If you are experiencing jealously. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. Open your heart and mind to it. you can watch that love radiate out for all. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Perhaps you fear abandonment. You do not need to experience jealously. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. Once you release the anger. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. © Copyright 2003.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. but attachment. Surrender to it. If you love someone. then what you are experiencing is not love. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. fear of not being worthy of love. they still don’t meet your expectations. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. By looking deep within. our childhood. look deep within yourself at these feelings. When you attempt to possess another person. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. you become yourself possessed. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You become vulnerable. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You can choose to move away from those feelings. let that guide you. and let that be who you are. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. Fear of loss. Hypnosis can help. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood.net 62 .

but generally the concept is basically the same. present and future and because of this. or alternatively. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. There is no judgment involved. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. In religions that incorporate reincarnation.K KARMA. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny).net 63 . The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Jain. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Most people © Copyright 2003. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Just a thought. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you prefer. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. all of which determine our future. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny.

participate and change the direction you are heading. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.associate Destiny with fate. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. As stated above. In the belief systems of many cultures. prophet. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. fate and destiny are not the same. Fate implies no choice. If you are not satisfied with your life. © Copyright 2003. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. saint or seer.net 64 . In the Shang dynasty in China. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. but fate makes no allowance for free will. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. Step in.

Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. The old saying. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. For example. “What you think about will happen in your life. LIFE. start by writing it down. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. that can help you with exactly that. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want.” It’s about where you put your focus. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The concept of the law of attraction is. “Let the chips fall where they may”. LOVE.net 65 . It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. © Copyright 2003. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. If you want to be a famous singer write that down.00 a year income. is a good analogy. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. What ever it is. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator.000. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is.

Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. now grab it. Now the key here is to follow up with this. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. you then attracted it. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. I promise you it will show up. etc. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. There is something there to be learned or gained. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. talk to those people. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you.net 66 . If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. don’t panic. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. Now that you have set this up. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. You have made it clear. You asked for what you wanted. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. pay attention. allowing it to happen is vital. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. pay attention to what happens next. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen.

We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. Group Coaching.” And I realized as she told me this. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. life is messy.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. The sooner we realize and accept that.qualifiedlifecoach. she said “You didn’t waste those years. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. maybe © Copyright 2003. a very wise woman. tele-classes and resources are offered. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. Go to my web site for more information. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 67 . She told him something I want to share with all of you. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. that is the Universe telling you go…. It is never wasted and it is never lost. you used them to learn about yourself. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. Individual Coaching. Not only that.in a different package. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. www. originally thought of. You never.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. who has no idea that she is. So live your life.com.

© Copyright 2003. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. [Obs. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. I know. married or alone. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. dating. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. I was reminded recently. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. then. Definition: To pity. I’m not sure why exactly. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. but yes. you are perfect.] Shak. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. healing. trust . often including a desire to help. all kinds of love. compassion and faith. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. never have. romance. living this life to experience love. First. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. sex. A noun. partnered. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. t. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”.net 68 . those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. v. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. com·pas·sion. some which I like and others not so much. Compassion (Com-pas’sion).” When we talk about compassion.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had.

People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. can start to love themselves as well. those we live with. and. Give yourself a break. heal others and yourself. then someone else. Luck is a real. measurable phenomenon. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. nobody can make it for you. lazy or self-indulgent. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. My only question to your would be this. Instead of listening to that old record. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). then maybe. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. in the process.Another thing that is so important to remember. work with or just come into contact with. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. with all their faults. someone around you. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious.K. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. that negative voice in your head. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. © Copyright 2003. one that you can get behind. just maybe those people whose lives we touch.net 69 . why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. as well. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered.

Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help.” Michael Craig Miller. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. or even make the depression worse. February 26. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug.M MALE DEPRESSION. During the past 50 years. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. and so do the ideal treatments. Depression can manifest in many different forms. (Harvard Medical School). MIND-BODY CONNECTION. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. but the underlying causes vary. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. As Dr. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have.. the depression and the cause of that depression. with all these statistics facing us. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. sex. 2007 article. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. certainly not for a real man.D. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become.e. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. In addition. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. This can make treatment especially difficult. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. “Depression may look like a single disease.net 70 . In the past. M. And yet. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak.

using only your conscious mind can be a slow. helping you regain strong mental-health. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. 2005. There are detours that we must take. without help. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. fear. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. October 18. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. bitterness. however. difficult and painful process. Woman’s World. When you release the hurt. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. hurt. As I quote above. With the aid of hypnotherapy. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. This is not easy. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. without wanting or meaning to.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious.net 71 . Hallowell. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. the healing process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. fear or anger that you are experiencing. resentment. Working from the inside out. When you recognize that this is occurring. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this.. love and happiness beyond measure. During the course of this journey and these detours.D. smooth and without bumps or potholes. When this occurs. Sometimes. Using © Copyright 2003. Ph. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. As Dr. Edward M. guilt and depression. you take back control of your own life.

imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. Dr.000 brain scans. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. can lead to serious food addictions. eating disorders. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. alcoholism. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. resentment. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. hostility. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. including diet. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. drug abuse and depression. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. In addition. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. This has been proven by Dr. but our physical body as well. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. a German physician. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. meditation. With the help of 20. Ryke Geerd Hamer. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Holding onto anger. hurt.net 72 . pathogens.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. © Copyright 2003. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions.

etc. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Believe me. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. and © Copyright 2003. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. In addition to nurturing your mind. but to your thoughts as well. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not.net 73 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. guide them in a positive direction. and this applies to any negative emotion. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. yoga can help. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. white flour. if you focus on anger. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. It requires that you develop a success mind. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Success is a process of continually learning new information. keeping track of what is working and what is not. This is a way of thinking. Meditation works. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. Success is largely an inner game. thought or image. Ph. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. whole grains. I have been there and there is a way out. vaccines. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book.exposure to toxic substances. anger is what you will bring into your life. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. use it and use it frequently. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. etc). and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal.D. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. more than just your emotional well being is at stake.

hardship. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. fear of hard work. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. Gather new information. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. You will have to change to be successful. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. Fear of change. possibility is in the dreaming. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. if you talk to any star athlete. and create new realities. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. © Copyright 2003.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. see unlimited possibilities. Develop a process to examine your fears. or successful businessperson. fear of failure. fear of what other people will think. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. make adjustments along the way. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. Take time to dream. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. exploring one more option or opportunity. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. generate new ideas. Take action. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. foster creativity. This is one of the laws of success. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. inventor. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. and failure. conditioning. you simply need to start. but also change the world. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. and keep moving forward. learn from your mistakes. While success requires action. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. Yet. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. the less we fear them. The success mind trains itself to ask. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. fear that we are not good enough.net 74 . It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists).

Your thoughts. your world and your success. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. your feelings. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. It is never too late to develop your success mind. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. and grow. you likely will feel fear. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Not simply because you say yes. challenge. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. create. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. try on new perspectives. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. think. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. You continue to grow. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. experience. your actions. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. When you say yes. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. But once you say no to an opportunity. adventure. Question. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. and success. As you do this.net 75 . form opinions. Mental toughness. The time to begin is now.

molliemarti. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. engage again and refuse to quit. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. make corrections.com or www. Mollie Marti. Visit her at www. better.D.. Inc. Ph. lawyer.D. © Copyright 2003. and smart action. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. mediator. directed. is President of Best Life Design. performance coach. and healthier lives.success and rewards your effort. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. happier. J. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. redirect the effort. Dream big and take consistent.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.net 76 .bestlifedesign. Stop caring what other people think..

and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. however. There is. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. management training. linguistics and computer science.net 77 . designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. John Grinder. sports. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). Unfortunately. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. sales. Robert Dilts. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. and interpersonal influence. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. © Copyright 2003. However.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. Use it for minor headaches. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. Also. use Yellow) money. fire. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. activity. red would probably not be the best color to use.net 81 . remember that red not only represents life force. Whether it makes us happy or sad. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. growth. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. © Copyright 2003. health healing.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. think we are making progress or stagnating. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. You have the power to change your perception. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. occurrence. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate.

but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. But the results tend to be permanent. this is how it works. © Copyright 2003. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. though. there will be no emotional response. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia.net 82 . By the time your therapist is done. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. If you are suffering from a phobia. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. Relief is truly immediate. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. control it and use it wisely. It can be done in person and over the phone. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. this power. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. it can make your life almost unbearable. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. Depending on the phobia. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Sometimes. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. Once you have faced your phobia. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. Perception is a powerful thing. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. You are then taken back to the phobia again. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. Take control. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. but it is not a gift at all. Basically.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal.

Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. and not just money or things. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. it may be necessary to make some changes. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. and not just a lack of money or things. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. Fear of change. thinking and dreaming. fun. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. both written by Dr. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. happiness. fulfillment and yes. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. money as well. In order to accomplish this. fear of failure. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. joyful and full life filled with love. Marti. © Copyright 2003. however.net 83 . But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Mollie W. you will enjoy them immensely. Frequently they are a result of fear.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. even fear of success. prosperity includes a rich.

and tangible. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. M-Theory. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. It appears undeniably to be out there. Unified Field Theory. in about three or four paragraphs! So. around us. touch it. independent and apart from us. Superstring Theory. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Schroedinger’s Cat. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). In the dream it all seems very real. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Supersymmetry. external universe.net 84 . however. utterly real. hear. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. separate from us. they are all phenomena within the mind. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. standing as a physical world. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. However real and external these images may seem. Grand Unified Theory. Theory of Everything. We can see it. EPR Paradox. as I started to research this a bit. Time. in addition. not the other way around. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. taste. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. space. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. Quantum Gravity. They exist within consciousness. instead. touch. and hear it. Loop Quantum Gravity. String Theory. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. smell.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. solid. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. the Copenhagen Interpretation. © Copyright 2003. because what was a mechanical.

huh? So.So. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Cool. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious.net 85 . what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. and there’s only one real way to do that. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.

and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. Unfortunately. © Copyright 2003. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.net 86 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. First. our behavior patterns. In addition. congratulations. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. how they can come apart. read on. It is the physical who yells. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. possibly even throws things when angry. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. However. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. if you are not.R RELATIONSHIPS. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. RELEASING. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. cries or screams when upset. These two distinct types.

She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. For the physical.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. When they first meet. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. his career. With the physical female. In relationships. longer hours at the office. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. I really do mean attraction. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. After all. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. Their first priority is their career. the relationship is of primary importance to her. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. To her partner it is his career. secure and © Copyright 2003. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. Next would be their children. This is natural. The emotional. is quite a bit different. When his partner complains that they never see each other. what the priorities of each are. So he starts spending more time at work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. But let’s look into the future several months. And that’s a good thing. on the other hand. She is happy.net 87 . self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. She on the other hand. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. outgoing. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. then hobbies. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. he cannot understand why. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. When I say E&P attraction. And boy do they do relate. Let’s cover very briefly. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship.

With communication you can understand each other. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. Interestingly enough. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. What can be done about this. though. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Sometimes. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. The process is quick. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Release anger. © Copyright 2003.net 88 . to get clear on your goals for the future. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. sadness. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. When you understand how the other thinks. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. Remember. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. releasing occurs naturally. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. communication is key to any successful relationship. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. When we are healthy and balanced. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. Plenty. fear and guilt. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. This is done through imagery and suggestion.

Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. positive thoughts. body and emotions. fears. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. hurt. process and recall information. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. If your subconscious is ready. doubts. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. Both techniques are effective. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ph. Negative expectations.D. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. That may been all you need at this time. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. use your downloadable sessions first. unpredictability and lack of control. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. and emotional states. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. physical. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward.net 89 . anger. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away.

Rest is any activity. over the telephone. make a choice to expect positive results. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. reading a book.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. “It’s gray and cloudy. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. build in ways to recoup your energy. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. and in countless other interactions. to your computer. For example. Many rituals are quite simple. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. in and of © Copyright 2003. you are ready for it. As you add them to your day. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful.net 90 . Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. Rather. each and every day. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. You spend mental. Think and say. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. You wake up and your first thought might be. You give energy away to other people. boring day. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. It’s going to be a gloomy.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. taking in a deep breathe. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. As you spend energy during the day. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks.

When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. fatigue. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.itself. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”.net 91 . Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. Influence Management: Before any performance. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. guilt. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. rhythmic breathing. you are less able to concentrate on your task. You’ve © Copyright 2003. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. linking it with a unique physical action. and anxiety. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. frustration. When you carry negative emotions like fear. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. nervousness. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. anger. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. and discarding the emotion. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. which is pleasurable and restorative. after working at your computer for an hour. For example. After a 90-minute presentation. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head.

When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . you might choose a banner. it also had drifted off. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. can be viewed as a distraction. As I cross the line. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. try to use the same type of focal point. Before you perform. If you are in your office or in a conference room. a piece of art. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. . select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. but when it came time to start. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. I image a red line on the floor. A tangible engagement cue. such as a doorframe. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. © Copyright 2003. consciously look at your focal point. “OK. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. even if it is a good thing. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. . prior to a presentation or meeting. Yet. I “turn on” my full engagement. It immediately precedes the performance and says. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. or a clock on the wall. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Any time you get distracted. She chose a cloud as her focal point. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. back to my task. For example. body and emotions that it is time to perform. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments.simply applied a band-aid. This leads to a less than stellar performance. works well.net 92 . Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. As you travel or perform in different locations. If you travel. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on.

better. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. © Copyright 2003.D. including caffeine and adrenaline. J.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. happier. and working mother to help others design and live their best life.bestlifedesign.. they will provide great consistency. Mollie Marti. Ph. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. mediator. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. If you cannot identify your rituals. It will throw you off. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine.net 93 . and healthier lives. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. lawyer. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. As part of this process. and success. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Inc.. A close companion is the use of stimulants. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. concentration. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines.com or www. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. successful entrepreneur. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. is President of Best Life Design. alcohol. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature.molliemarti. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep.D. it won’t feel right. Visit her at www. performance coach. This means that if you get away from your rituals.

S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

SELF-TALK
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

STRESS
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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fish. leafy vegetables. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. Unfortunately. depression. exhaustion. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. causing irritability and nervousness. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. cabbage. Vitamin B6. chronic fatigue. worry. Vitamin B12. mustard greens. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. impatience. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. seafood. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. blood sugar fluctuations. apples. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. brown rice. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. moodiness and nervousness. © Copyright 2003. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. prunes. such as hormonal imbalances. garlic. broccoli. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. apricots. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Almonds. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. etc. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. fear. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. irritability.net 97 . salmon. sesame seeds. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. kelp. Calcium. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. depression. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. asparagus. irritability. bananas.to be one of the first things that goes. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. You need eat more avocados. oats. kale.

barley. salmon.net 98 .com © Copyright 2003. brown rice. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. our cortisol levels drop. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. insomnia or lack of energy. In addition.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. but if something happens to us. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. Call a friend. a founder of NaturalCounselor. who will take care of our children. mushrooms. Start squeezing something. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. mood swings. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Bottom line though. oranges. root vegetables (such as potatoes. lentils. dates. I know mine always have been). Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. Squeeze a squishy ball. nobody will.Folic acid. such as a squishy ball. Walk.naturalcounselor. Kiss. oatmeal. our family? So let us be stress smart. legumes. carrots and turnips). Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. to work away your tension. though. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Sing. tuna and whole grains. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. you must relax. green leafy vegetables. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this.

For example. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. I used to feel that way often. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. According to the laws of physics. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. If you wake up today affirming an illness. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. if you are having a problem with money. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. Energy is constantly in motion. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. You think about the future and you tighten up even more.net 99 . because you cannot stand still. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. but to the energy of the present moment. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. If you wake up today focusing on debt. I know I have. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. a feeling. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. If you understand that.

it doesn’t matter why it works. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple.D. And. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. In a pilot study published in 1999.” Ginandes says. Ph. Hypnosis. the truth is. You don’t have to create change. © Copyright 2003. smooth. for most people. and elastic. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. our results suggest. In a follow-up experiment published last year. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. It is only important that it does.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. Ph.net 100 . The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing.D. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. can influence the body to heal itself. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. Pain sufferers.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. meanwhile. During the sessions. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. for example. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. really. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. You need to make room for change. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again.” So. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing.

Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Remember. look down on the Time Line. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. for you happiness and your abundance. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. Take responsibility for your life and direction. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Remember. it is what feels best for you. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. to the left or to the right. your love and your joy. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. If it’s behind you. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 101 . Take your time with this. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. There is no correct answers. When you have determined the directions of past and future.

I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. Without getting specific about each of them. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. you made a mistake. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision.net 102 . They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. you stuck by the wrong person. even if they cannot give it back. It can look that way to others. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). I’d like you to consider another alternative. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. © Copyright 2003. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. You need them to tell you to be strong. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. Sometimes what you need.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. bad things just happen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. You procrastinated. It might not have looked that way to others.

These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. First. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships.net 103 . 90. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. etc.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. 85. VICTIMHOOD. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. while another may be a Wiccan. For example. you need to define what it is you want. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. another may practice Hinduism. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. Spirituality. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. whatever feels right. Picture yourself at age 80. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life.

Remember. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. or even the perceptions of our family. you will certainly feel violated. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. are you really meant to be together. friends. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive.Now think back over your life. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. You might get angry. Perhaps you are abused. is you. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. However. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Think about all the value areas of your life. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. then your perception makes it right. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person.net 104 . That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. then you’ve got a problem. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. mugged or even raped. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. © Copyright 2003. church and society. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. Something very unpleasant. If it is what you believe. What areas cause you regret. Figure it out early. What you might think is wrong. but not only that.

Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim.” But. my friends don’t understand me. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. happiness and joy available to each of us. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. it means you are not responsible for anything. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. It wasn’t fun. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. my kids don’t show me any respect. etc. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances.net 105 . my husband ignores me.I want you to consider something. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. A rather sad. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. my mother didn’t give me enough love. And.. for what you do and what you say. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. and society actually encourages this thought. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. Here in the U. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my mother didn’t understand me. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. But just take a moment now and really think about it. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. Life.S. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. etc. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. however. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. But now.. my wife doesn’t understand me. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life.

etc. Remember. For example. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. If that is taken away from us . build self-confidence. bad relationship and can keep on going. can often help the other. feel more loved. Simply. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. please. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use.net 106 . beautiful heart and so much love to give. September 26. You had to be strong. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety.who you are. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. All too often we let this fear get the better of us.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. As stated in Woman’s World. If we take back control. 2006. each of us.. is powerful beyond belief. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. eventually. etc. it is the ability to enjoy life. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. we lose everything. never © Copyright 2003. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. boost your mood. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Fixing a problem in one place though. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress.

what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. depressed or negative. relieve pain. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in.net 107 . Is essence. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. your imagination. So. can change how your feel. If you are feeling down. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. increase your self-confidence. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Use the power of your mind. © Copyright 2003.

the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. WORDS. the only diet that had ever worked for them.e. 4. before facts have actually been verified. etc. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Not only that. If. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. included six small meals a day. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. Confusing. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First.W WEIGHT. bleached flour. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what..) 3. diet and weight. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon.net 108 . scientists. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. alcohol. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. refined. 5. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. it’s good again. First one. The truth is. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.

Do you associate a person. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 10. 8. 19. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.net 109 . Out of all the food you eat in a day. 18. 20. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 7.6. 17. Has your mother. 9. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. Do you eat breakfast? 15. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes.

Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. by working it. You know © Copyright 2003.Now. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence and happiness. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. self-confidence. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. you know that as strange as it may sound. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives.net 110 . they include abandonment issues. having said all that. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. More often than not. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. survivors. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. WRONG! Words have power. Abuse victims. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. a lack of fulfillment. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. We heal from physical injuries. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. satisfaction. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. You had to be strong. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves.

friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. keep your thoughts strong. your talent. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events.net 111 . dreams and desires. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. But when you are with someone you care about. Make some calls. call out for help. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. And that’s what venting to another is. Once said they are out there forever. And for each of us. Think and dream about your future. But you are wrong. find out what you can do. Your life depends on it After all. this planet needs you. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. scream and yell and swear all you want. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. This is why “words” do have so much power. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. wider and stronger each and every day. lover. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Vent when you are alone. As a matter of fact. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. throughout your life entire life. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.because I say it over and over again. husband. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. intelligence and compassion. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. but not only that. Also. words can hurt you. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. I have to say this. someone will answer. When this occurs. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. wife. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. But most of all. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. The same holds true for what you hear.

Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. © Copyright 2003. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. much like arthritis in wet weather. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. especially in interpersonal situations. If you do not feel ready for that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.withdraw into ourselves. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body.net 112 . If you can do this. when things are going smoothly. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. can help. Releasing sessions can work well with these. However. or.

When you have done this.net 113 . You have the opportunity to see a different future. drinker. the decision becomes easy. doesn’t it?. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Make a promise to yourself. vital. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. Before you make that decision. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Make a commitment and a decision. energy. strong. drinking. You can choose to live your life. Wait 10-20 seconds. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. © Copyright 2003. very clearly. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. Wait 10-20 seconds. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Once you decide that you want to quit. DRINKER. What do you look like. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. And now let those images fade completely away. the body you want. you have a decision to make. clear skin. are you now sure which one you want. Whatever it is. what is different and better. clear and easy breathing. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. healthy. Notice how you feel. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Of these two possible futures in your life. vibrant. your energy will flow in that direction. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. binger or whatever. BINGER ETC.X X SMOKER. Notice what you see.

Everything in life is a choice. a better job. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. your entire belief system. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. In making a choice.com. you can only lift a small amount of weight. you always have a choice.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. happiness. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. © Copyright 2003. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post.net 114 . When you first begin to work your muscles. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. your life script. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. joy. So. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. you may never receive it. For instance. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. Compare it to strength training. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. it does not mean you will receive it. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. success.

The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. © Copyright 2003. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. check it out at www. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. looking around. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention.According to Holly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.com To me. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life.net 115 . it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. check it regularly.hollygleason.

intensity and passion. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. or ideal and the determination to further that person. it means a diligent enthusiasm. or ideal. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. fight for your dreams and your goals.net 116 .Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. An antonym is apathy. cause. please do it with zeal and without apathy. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. cause. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. And always remember this.

ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. To make this even more effective. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. You can also visualize this word in your mind.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out.” and the “sore spot. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” “gamut spot. While you are doing these three karate chops.net 117 . © Copyright 2003. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. There are 15 points. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.

It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. 7. 2. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. 3.” © Copyright 2003.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. or DEPRESSED. 9.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 5. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 12. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 6. You can go through the tapping process several times. but do each issue separately. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. or AFRAID. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. This is not a sentence. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.net 118 .” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. or anything you want changed. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 11. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 10. you can use just one or two words. Do what feels right for you. anxiety. 4. 8. fear.

Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. By burning away all anger and negativity. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. you open all pathways to love.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. emotions. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. resentment or negativity away. your connection with yourself is complete.net 119 . And as your heart fire increases. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. I love myself. © Copyright 2003. you also release all negative thoughts. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger.” And that’s all there is to it. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. And as your heart fire increases. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. ideas and beliefs within yourself. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. As you do this. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. feelings. hurt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. uncross your arms and legs. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back.

PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. allow that color to flow in and out as well. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. Then when you are ready. heal yourself and relax yourself.. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. If another color comes to mind. smell it.net 120 . anyplace. days. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. If you feel like it and have the time. See it. see the image). First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. weeks. hear the waves and the birds. at the beach. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. Then imagine or visualize white granules. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. cleansing breath in and let it out. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.e. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. months or even years to be released. smell the salt. Take yourself fully into this place. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. taking this time right now for myself. hear it (i. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. hours. like salt.

Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. happy and having fun together. Here’s my snapshot. emotions. relationship. Let go of all tightness within you. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. thoughts and feelings. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. activity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. yourself. You are in control and in charge of your body. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. my guy and I are in love. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. © Copyright 2003. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can.net 121 .number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. or whatever it is your desire. You are in charge of your healing and your life. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I vibrate with positive energy.net 122 . At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I say to myself RANCH. With my thoughts I create my new. positive delightful reality. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I choose to forget past mistakes now. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. © Copyright 2003. live in the moment and dream in the future. I keep saying ranch until that image.

. 93.... 60.. 94..........Index 12-step programs . 41. 86.7.. 96. 45... 32............. 94.... 104. 92.. 45. 122 chronic anger . 35.... 70........... 46.. 36.... 47.....58 choice2.3......... 18... 30..... 6... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 116 Bereavement .. 114.. 9. 71................. 37..... 79. 37. 94.... 114.. 5...... Ph. 127...... 27..... 36..... 44......5........... 44.2. 3 addiction ........ 47... 118 acute pain... 44.. 52. 110. 25.... 44.... 113 Abraham Hicks . 78.... 7 attraction ... 77......... 10. 53........ 106.... 38.30.... 127...... 36... Ph... 36... 96... 71.. 47............ 32........ 58...... 35... 79 cancer......... 97...... 55 emotional freedom technique .. 1. 35.... 31.... 88... 89. 84... 58.. 89....... 20... 38..... 50......... 81. 97..... 129...... 123.. 98...... 126........ 118 consciousness 8.. 21.. 101....... 103........54 association ... 99....... 45. 21 David Spiegel. 55........ 7....... 12.... 66.. 79..... 78 EFT .. 63...D... 73 depression . 128.............. 126 adrenalin . 54.......... 7........ 114..... 128 anxiety 7... 21. 90............ 48.... 95.......... 114.....38... 130 apprehension....... 102.. 115. 104...2.... 37.. 3 Alzheimer’s .. 65. 119. 104.....8 Adrian Calabrese........... 79........... 80.. 90. 5. 20.. 19. ..... 22... 110 communication .. 76 desire..... 81.......... 4.... 74... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ... 27.... 130 focus.. 7..1.. 6. 43.... 29... 35.. 121... 56...1. 60. 74..... 35...... 42.. 6.... 125. 25. 24......... 109.... 97.... 78.... 81. 12 Elvira Lang ..... 21.86 Circle Therapy ... 78 cortisol ..53. 90 coronary disease...88 clarity 9........ 21................... ... 35............. 79 dream 1.. 39......... 56..... 7. 32...... 27. 126.. 44.. 58..... 72.7.. 77............ 78... 114.. 94... 63.... 103.... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ..............D. 89 balance .. 27........ 36. 21.. 38.. 63.... 26. 38...... 24 eating disorders....... 98.. 96...... 77..... 124 drinking... 6.. 76...... 37.... 53. 52... 41... 21.... 35. 122... 32. 94.. 28.. 42. 5.. 52.... 94. 26... 28. 94 baggage.... 8... 8. 62. 21............ 78 affirmations........ 129 alcoholism.. 54.... 14. 72............ 125 energy ...21 Arreed Barabasz ....121 blood sugar ............ 71.. 78 forgiveness. 121...... 45. 78 E&P attraction .24. 60........ 10 binging . 5... 75.... 39. 80...... 6. 16...... 44......... 35....... 83. 81. 30....... 95.......... 95.. 55...... 127. 112 compassion . 22.... 109..........net i ..... 2. 37................. 24............ 101.. 87. 112... 5. 76.......24.. 2.... 22.. 42... 78 alternative programs .... 5......125 anger ...... 60.... 63.... 34....5.. 31... 46. 43.. 67.... 6........... 76............. 23...... 50... 3..... 102.... 70. 10.......2... 55 Dawn Abraham .... 97.. 4.... 19......... 6..... 97....107 abuse 5....... 32. 106.... 74......... 48. 57...... 60.......... 116 disease. 102..... 26. 33........ 38..... 6... 78... 43.. 47.. 89 fear 1.. 105 darkest hour .....5.. 3. 21. 121 drug abuse. 95 © Copyright 2003........... 15. 50. 78 chronic pain . 32. 91............. 61.... 117........ 37.... 73... 131 dreams 22... 91... 129 diet . 88.......... 104.2.... 36.. 81. 76.... 33..... 30 Eric Butterworth ........ 130 epilepsy . 23.. 119 confidence..5. 103... 46.. 6.... 52... 57..9... 105. 94..... 23........ 89............ 43.............. 129 food addictions.. 64.... 78. 79 Carol Ginandes...... 37.... 116... 78.......86 addict .. 119.. 44. 59. 84.. 4........... 46.... 113......... 31......... 22.... 97. 106...... 104. 71....30 anchor .....

.. 56.. 5..... 99.... 119... 37.. 37. 115................. 94. 79.... 22.. 30... 37 powerless ... 36 Guilt ......... 87 lose weight 4...........35 goal ... 109............ 6. 4.11......... 44...... 54. 36.........net ii .....8............ 83 Roger Callahan ........ 46. 107 healing ....... 87....... 101.. 42............ 77... 95.. 115.. 95.. 39.. 67....83 John Kappas............... 22.... 32 phobia ................ 109......9.... 75........ 77.............. 47. 10........ 21..... 32. 110.............. 110.... 44........10. 127. 21.. 101 self-image .............. 6........... 107. 34. 58. 43... 115 smoking. 57... 94 mood swings ....... 6... 54...... 56... 77. 67........ 120.32 hypnotherapy ... 83 overload .. 9.... 78...................... 30 passive-aggressive ... 79.. 77...... 6......... 78 NLP.12 habit ...... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ............ 122........ 86. 110.... 13............... 54. 5..9. 22. 43. 86 habits. 8... 69................... 83 Robert Dilts...10.... 78.... 54..30 high blood pressure.. 57 neural interconnections . 118..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.5.............. 105...... 47. 107. 86. 53. 129 heart disease............ 109... 77.... 59. 37... 119..... 47.. 118 Gary Craig .. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ......76 Hridaya Yoga........ 22... 7........ 128 Richard Bandler .... 88........ 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer .10............ 7... 83 nitric oxide . 118 self-talk ..... 77......... 77................ 22. 103...... 42....... 93 message units .. 78. 56.... 99............. 30..... 53..... 10........ 102. 86.. 16.. 58. 21................... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ... 103............... 26.. 118. 117 medicine.. 1.. 14....2........ 5.. 29.... 76... 77.....32 illness 36.. 57...... 79.... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003.... 57..... 15.. 40. 57... 53............. 89 phobias........ 49........ 76.36 joy .. 128. 58.84 Jill Ammon-Wexler . 112. 84 panic attacks.... 122 Harvard ..... 3... 59.... 113.. 32... 58.... 53.... 37... 31. 89.......... 10... 105 Jane C......8 hypnosis .5.......... 120 relaxation .... 101..... 77.. 21.... 79. 28. 93....... 32.. 39...... 35...... 121 snapshot ...... 65........... 85. 46......... 43.... 5................. 121 relationships24...... 74.......... 129 grief.. 111..... 2.. 27.. 6. 76... 7... 66....... 63....... 125 immune suppression . 43...37.. 89. 8........ 122 Ida Kendall ... 58.. 35..... 59..................... 78. 77..... 58....1.... 34....... 59......... 92. 26.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis......... Woods .... 89......... 9........ 71 life force.83 Law of Attraction.... 114.. 10. 6 Pat Dennis..... 38. 65....3............................ 94..... 113 prosperity . 123.... 42.... 51.... 53..... 79....... 50........... 30..... 47. 19.. 43. 47.24. 58..................... 37. 113............ 23........... 60.. 60..... 64.. 64..... 55..... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att........... 127 hypersuggestible .. 37.... 13................. 30..... 130 Judith DeLozier .. 47.... 116 happiness ... 79.... 56 hurt. 38. 108 Parkinson’s disease................................. 116. 79. 25...54 Irina Wardas ... 83..................... 57... 43...... 52. 78.... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ........ 63.....40...fulfillment ............ 67..... 127. 17 Janet Luhrs. 36. 129 resentment.. 57.......... 50. 118........ 117....7... 87.... 78.... 59.. 56..... 78. 15.. 10.. 32...7.. 28.... 125.... 6.28 John Grinder ........... 87. 37..................... 53...... 38...... 39.............. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice.. 78............ 81.. 109. 56.. 37.... 125 men ............ 29... 84..... 37 self-esteem . 27......... 29 neuro pathways .. 35.. 88. 120. 54.. 58.. 78....... 114 imagery .. 107..... 33.... 45.

2... 128 subconsciously........ 34.........83 Stephen Kosslyn ........... 125.... 36. 29....107 trigger. 79..... 5........ 112... 78. 77.. 116 Women. 109.. 122.......... 91... 101.. 59.... 46.. 6...... 77. 109 triggers .. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 6.. 39...... 43. 37. 77. 6.... 75............ 95.. 47....44......... 120 yummy list ....... 95............ 7.......................28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .... 22.. 78 subconscious............... 77.................Stephen Gilligan ..... 60. 118......... 56. 8......... 48....... 124 © Copyright 2003. 109.............. 94. 122 zeal........... 30... 37.... 113.... 38........... 115.net iii .. 59...... 47..................... 78. 85... 106 wounds . 121 value areas of life............. 5..... 37.............. 57................. 7............5................. 80.............. 65................... 120 suicide...6.... 44.. 110 Two Futures ........... 114 visualization.... 58......... 45..... 79 thought habits ... 10.. 85.53 transformation...................................... 114 weight .... 34............................. 114 triggering event ......................... 21................. 84........ 111 victimhood . 107...57 stress hormones . 26...........4... 30.

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