This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. . the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. when given the proper instructions. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. feelings. neuro pathways. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. emotions and perceptions. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. As I said before. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality.
........ E.........................................................................................................8 BEREAVEMENT .........................................................................................................46 B.................21 DEPRESSION................................................................5 ANXIETY ............... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS.......... FORGIVENESS....................................................................40 FOCUS ... D.................................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...........................1 ADDICTION ..... ADDICTION... ENERGY ............3 ANGER ........................................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).............................................................26 DEPRESSION .....................18 COMMUNICATION ............................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ....... BEREAVEMENT ............................................. C........................................................................................................................................................................................... FOCUS.......8 BALANCE .............................................3 AFFIRMATIONS.....................................37 FEAR ..................................................................................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.......29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................... ANGER..................................................................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ..................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ....................... ................ COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE..............26 DIETING .34 ENERGY .. G.................35 FABULOUS................43 GOALS .......................................7 BALANCE. F........ FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ..........42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...............................................46 SMART GOALS ........ CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE........................................32 EMOTIONS...................... FEAR.........................37 FABULOUS ................................................................................................8 CHANGE.............................................................................................................................................. DIETING..................... EMOTIONS.. ANXIETY.... AFFIRMATIONS..........................1 ABUNDANCE .............................................................................
.................70 MALE DEPRESSION.......................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)......56 JEALOUSY .....................H.................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION.................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION............................................................... PROSPERITY .......... PERCEPTION...... N.................... ....................................77 OVERLOAD........................52 IMAGERY...................................................................... MIND SUCCESS .......................................51 HYPNOSIS................... HEALING..................................................................... PHOBIAS...................................................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)....................................................78 PAIN.. LIFE..........49 HEALING .................................................................................................. O...................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .. INTUITION.... P.............................................. L......................81 PHOBIAS .....................................................54 IMAGERY....................69 MALE DEPRESSION.................................................................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.......... J.................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION......................................................... Q..........80 PAIN...........83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .............................. KISMET . HYPNOSIS............................................................................................................68 LUCK .................................................................67 LOVE................................................................................................................................63 KISMET . K...............59 JEALOUSY...63 KARMA ......59 KARMA...54 INTUITION..............................................49 HEART FIRE ............................................. LUCK .....................................................................................84 I.........72 MIND SUCCESS ...................................................................................................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ..............................................................................................................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ................................................................................... M.........82 PROSPERITY ............ LOVE............................80 PERCEPTION ..............65 LIFE..............
................................................................................................ VISUALIZATION........... BINGER ETC .. YUMMY LIST ..................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT...............................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)..................................................................................... RELATIONSHIPS...........114 ZEAL ....102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE........................ V....................................94 SELF-TALK.....116 S...................................................................................................................... W.................. VICTIMHOOD................................114 YUMMY LIST .............. iii ...............................................................96 STUCK .................................................................................................104 VISUALIZATION ...............................................................103 VALUE AREAS......... WOUNDS .................................................................................................................................................................... Z.............86 RELEASING .............................................................................................................................................................................. STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)..........111 X SMOKER...................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE..........................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ... WORDS............ STUCK ................................................................................................................................................................. U..................................... ii...................................................... T........................... i............................................... X......................... DRINKER...................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.......................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS...... SELF-TALK.........................................................94 STRESS .................................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY .........................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE........................................... RELEASING....122 INDEX ...................108 WORDS....114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...........108 WEIGHT ..............106 WEIGHT........................103 VICTIMHOOD ......113 TWO FUTURES ........ EXERCISES .......117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS...............101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .........86 RELATIONSHIPS ... Y...........R.
money and success. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. ADDICTION. Fear of change. incident. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. excitement and yes. The future. It is our perception of any event. occurrence. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. In order to make changes. indeed. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. however. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of.net 1 . ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. ANGER. fear of failure. Because of this. usually as a result of fear. even worse. love. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. we don’t trust it to be real. As a result.A ABUNDANCE. satisfying. a life that is rich and full. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. think we are making progress or stagnating. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. AFFIRMATIONS. fear of success. it is filled with laughter. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. Even when we know we have this tool. © Copyright 2003. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts.
Do something regularly and you develop a habit. i. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. People without strong desires slowly whither away. no matter what program you are going through.. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. however. so. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. the more vibrant and alive you become. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. you do have a choice. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. helps them suppress the pain. at least for a while. It is important though. the more connected you feel. Allow that desire to flow through you. alcohol.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us.e. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population.net 2 . and life just gets better and better. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. at least while they are using their drug. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. Unfortunately. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. Your first step. who you can call when you feel you might slip. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. A tempo that is magnetic. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. however. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. cocaine.
it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.org www. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. I agree with this school of thought. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.passagesmalibu. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.practicalrecovery. if it is not done. then you. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. www. When you face this pain that you have been running from.habitdoc.com www.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. you will forever remain an addict.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. but you don’t have to. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt.com www. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. so. However.secularsobriety. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. The sooner we realize and accept that. though. A friend of mine once told me. Many people.net 3 . the addict.
then that means you are on the right track.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. When you do this. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. • Always remember this.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. always focus on what you want to move towards. So. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals.net 4 . actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. the steering wheel of your car. not what you want to avoid. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday.” • State your affirmations in the positive. When you move towards what you want. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. • Be specific. your computer. Always create an image of what you want in your life.” the message sent to your mind.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. © Copyright 2003. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. Don’t let fear hold you back. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” Or “I will lose weight. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. that’s like moving uphill. when what you really mean is. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want.” Or say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If necessary.
but the damage done to others can take years to heal. cold hands.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. alcoholism. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. shaking. So. When this is the case. In situations that cause fear. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. hurt. Not only is this destructive to you. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. drug abuse and depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. going from one trauma to the next. When a relationship ends. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. then anger becomes a serious health risk. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. eating disorders. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. anger is the most common response. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. along with mourning. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. But some people seem to be angry all the time. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. you may blame others for your situation or condition.net 5 . In addition. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Even if we bury anger deep inside. and heart palpitations. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. hostility. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. looking for justice and revenge. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. crying. you may see yourself as an avenger. Holding onto anger. fatigue. it can be just as damaging. If you see yourself as a victim. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. and in small doses can be a good thing. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. resentment. can lead to serious food addictions. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition.
In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. In the past. Also. expressing your anger in an indirect way. cancer. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. but anger that may be directed at you by others. releasing your anger. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. Unfortunately. and even increased workplace injuries. alcohol and drug abuse. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. Remember.net 6 . many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. Power and anger are frequently related. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. If you feel powerless. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. and stubborn. fear and hurt. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. and can help make you more content. coronary disease. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). and depression. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. suicide. and can lead to serious food addictions. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. however. sarcastic. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. bitterness. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. it will never go away. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there.
The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. etc. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would.net 7 . an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. driving a car. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. fear or anxiety. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. weakness. nausea. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. Fears. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. fear or anxiety. flying. anxiety. mood swings. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. Also. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. © Copyright 2003. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. shakiness. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness.). being home alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
place or thing that can make you happy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. a perfect balance. Good advice. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. then it would make him happy as well. Twelve hours of day and night. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. it didn’t work. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. No matter what you hear. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. you know. then he’d really truly be happy. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. No one can tell you how to be happy. that happiness must come from within ourselves. The problem was. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. right? Yes and no. Sometimes we need reminders. let them be a reminder to look inside. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. I told him the usual stuff.B BALANCE. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy.net 8 . every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. Happiness. There isn’t another person. getting involved with a church. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. Just think about that a moment.
This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. if we are angry. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. goal. desire. That means stop analyzing everything so much. happiness. our voice.co. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. and in doing so. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. But even more than that.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. the right kind of suggestions. email@example.com Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. to balance the light and dark within yourself. In this state. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. fulfillment and life find you. No matter how hard we may try.net 9 . This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. working for you. Woods. They allow you to clear out the old. lover. You are able to access your subconscious. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. job or whatever you are seeking. even the words we use. stop thinking it to death. feeling. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. Whether it’s an emotion. It will.
And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. and generally we prefer not to think about it. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. for example. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. To a degree that can be true. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). However.the intensity and duration may differ.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK.net 10 . It is an immutable part of the human condition. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. and so on. letting relevant people know. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. just a little. © Copyright 2003. That said. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you must do what is right for you. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved.
“If I do this. a normal response. and just plain wrong. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. For example. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. we may need to be told several times. We may need evidence. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Often that is enough. recognizing it and naming it. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. or for feeling angry. Some enlightened doctors know. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Help them tell you their feelings. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. or those suffering alongside us. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. once the first shock waves have abated. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. is a refusal to believe the news.Denial A second common response. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. when they are breaking bad news to patients. This is where someone less involved can offer help. © Copyright 2003. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. we may be compelled to visit the scene. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. It is unrealistic but again. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. uncaring. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable.net 11 . and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. disconcertingly.
If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute.net 12 . I have lost someone significant in my life’. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. like fundraising for a particular charity. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. was decreed. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when our behaviour. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. For example. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. even perhaps depressed. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. You cannot short circuit this process. just let it go. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. how to manage our grief. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. and even our clothing. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically.
You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day.net 13 . we experiment with new ways of behaving. however it feels. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. we begin to move on. not in any sense. This does not mean forgetting them. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. © Copyright 2003. Experiment At some point. So. and this will of course vary from person to person. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. Let close friends offer you comfort. such as excessive use of alcohol. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. in this phase. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. However hard it is.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. You may find. which can be a comfort. But actually. ask them. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. If you need a hug. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feeling there is no point. People want to help but they often don’t know how. you never go right back to the beginning. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. be it with a handshake or a hug. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health.
whether for you personally. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. a card sincerely written. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Make your peace with that and all will be well. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. so we need to use our discretion. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. I hope it has been helpful however. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. If you can. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Of course.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. surrounded by people. ritual can be helpful at this time. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’.” © Copyright 2003. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself.net 14 . be it lighting candle. be it taking some homemade food round. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Literally. Again. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Knowing this can help you plan for it. as I have said. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. take medical advice. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. taking flowers to an appropriate place. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. or an offer of help with the shopping. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Helping In Western culture.
uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make.co. some research based. Finally. Sometimes. and some simply telling you how to do it. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Sometimes. some anecdotal. depending on the severity of the change.net 15 . even depressed.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. almost no one likes it. depending on the change. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us.C CHANGE. Woods. Some people embrace change and some resist it. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Just remember this. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. we can get very fed up. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. jane@changingpeople. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life.
apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. However. “What?” you say. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. © Copyright 2003. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. A Story Here is a short story about change. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. It may ring a bell with you. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Worse. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. Finding they are. You are speechless at first. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. You are feeling bright and chirpy. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 16 .
don’t just focus on the negatives. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003.But then. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. So. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. Use two different colours if you like. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. joy of joys. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. vulnerable. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try.. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. angry. For example.. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. yes.net 17 . What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. That is a fact to record on the top line. no one but you is going to see this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. did it make you sad. For example. and. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. or determined to make more effort.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.
even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. Then. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. For example. while another may be much more fatalistic.net 18 . our thoughts. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. Dawns. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. overloaded message units and repressed fears. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. no one makes us feel anything. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. another to frown and feel aggrieved. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. however. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. our responses to change are individual and personal. They begin almost imperceptibly. At first. are funny things. Sometimes. One may approach it in a positive way. Similarly with our responses to change. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. Obviously. But as the sun rises. as the dawn progresses. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. The same principle applies to you. However. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. and therefore our feelings. © Copyright 2003. Actually. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’.
you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. need or want. see the right path. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. clumsy. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. you are in essence training your mind. © Copyright 2003. apprehension and fear. remember “dawn” can and will happen. detailed imprint of what you desire. you start to believe it yourself. For example. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. When this happens. relaxation. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. If you are starting to feel anxious. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. however. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. even our physical health and well being. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. Ultimately. confused or fearful. Be absolutely clear about what you want. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. inept.anxiety and emotions.net 19 . Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. but will actually consider them an order. you do not need to feel this way. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. given enough time and repetition. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Giving you the feeling of freedom. confidence. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. Unfortunately. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency.
” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. Know that no matter what things might look like. realizing all the possibilities available to you. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them.achieving prosperity. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. in addition. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. If you want a New Beginning. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. does and will continue to offer you what you need. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. all of your life. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. want and desire. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count.net 20 . the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. you are actually living the life you want. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. yoga. abundance. with clarity. Trust that the Universe has. mold them and do it over and over again. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. then the real fun can start. so.” So live your life fully. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. confidence and trust. you need to be aware. You will feel stronger. It does make a difference. As Abraham Lincoln once said. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. it is a journey. Guide them. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. you always have a choice. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. It’s the life in your years.
There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. The problem is that we communicate differently. look and listen. © Copyright 2003.knowing. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. courage. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to.net 21 . malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. engage and listen. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. our answers are all around us. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. I truly believe that faith. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. It is important not to go looking for your sign. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. yellow balloon. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. dolphins . I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright.
enjoys spur of the moment activities. they will answer yes or no. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. and how natural and normal this is. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. however. among other things. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. people don’t realize just how true this is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is so much more than simple questions. cries. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. the way we communicate with each other. An example would be. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. how they can come apart. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. Communication. it isn’t. but E&P affects. It is the physical who yells. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. if you ask a physical if they are cold. In relationships. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed.net 22 . whatever when upset. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. screams. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. First. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. © Copyright 2003. opposites really do attract. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. These two types. possibly even throws things when angry. So.
Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. the more the physical pushes. This E&P communication. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. self-confidence. You had to be strong. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going.The same thing occurs when communicating. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. however is just one part of communication. you can see how this could be problematic. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Words have power. We heal from physical injuries. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Conversely. they can ruin lives. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Also. Remember though. It becomes a vicious circle. Since we tend to project our thoughts. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken.net 23 . when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. © Copyright 2003. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be.
so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. your talent. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. bad relationship and can keep on going. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. someone will answer. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. intelligence and compassion. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. But most of all. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. beautiful heart and so much love to give. this planet needs you. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. find out what you can do. leave. Think and dream about your future. by working it. call out for help. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. throughout your life entire life. This is why “words” do have so much power. each of us. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. wider and stronger each and every day. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. © Copyright 2003. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. The same holds true for what you hear. As a matter of fact. dreams and desires. Your life depends on it After all. Make some calls. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. But you are wrong. is powerful beyond belief. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. You know because I say it over and over again.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. The woman who has come out of a nasty. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Also. keep your thoughts strong. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse.net 24 . eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. but not only that.
And that’s really what venting to another person is. But when you are with someone you care about. our child. words can hurt you.net 25 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. Once said they are out there forever. © Copyright 2003. husband. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Vent when you are alone. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification.Each of us. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. words can destroy you. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. scream and yell and swear all you want. wife.
conditions and illnesses. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. AND -. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. depression. In fact. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. thought patterns and thought habits. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. No one is born with such a brain -.… You have billions upon billions of neurons.even into very advanced old age. Researchers like Dr. According to Dr.D DEPRESSION. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . but in essence they are just like any other habit. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. and just like any other habit. if we want to. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. Jill Ammon-Wexler. however. In addition. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. if this work fulfills its potential. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. DIETING. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Dr.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. © Copyright 2003. According to Dr.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. As research continues in this area. suicidal feelings.net 26 . it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -.it is created. Miller goes on to stress. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts.
I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. even more importantly. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die.use it or lose it. I just want to be happy. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. what we say to ourselves. © Copyright 2003. healthy muscles. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. though. “unhappy”. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. What we think. fulfilled life. I don’t want to be around negative people. What it does understand. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. “disappointed in my relationships”. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. etc. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections.net 27 .” What is actually being said here? Look at it. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. Think about that a moment. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.
Parkinson’s disease. subconscious level. it will continue to go on. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. 2005. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Pay attention to what you are thinking.. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts.net 28 . with the aid of hypnosis. including cancer. on a subconscious level. stroke and Alzheimer’s. October 18. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. Reflect on the positive. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. So. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. is originating on a deeper. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. Fixing one problem can often help the other. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. whether it is physical or emotional. Ph. Massachusetts. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. 100 times more. heart disease. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. Take responsibility for your thoughts. When there is negative thinking. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. epilepsy. Woman’s World. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level.D. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. When you can take a truth and internalize it. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Bruce Cohen. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power.” observes Dr. reflect on the contrary. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things.
diet and weight. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. the second diet was only three meals a day. and of course. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified.net 29 . we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. now again we are hearing. First we were told that fat. especially our young women. then we were told maybe it isn’t. especially in the United States. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. test or theory. any kind of fat. people. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. according to the New York Times. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. we are really only getting part of the story. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. it seems as if all the doctors. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. particularly among our young people. we just don’t want to do it. Confusing. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. sometimes to death. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. And throughout all of it. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. but in addition. © Copyright 2003. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. Chocolate was bad for you. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. and these are serious issues indeed. Part of one study. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). We all know the difference between bad and good fats.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. The first diet included six small meals a day. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. When most of us think about diet and weight. The truth is. never a comparison with all the other studies. is bad for you.
Just as with any weight.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. As we live our lives. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. With the internet available to all of us. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by taking control of our thoughts. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. Knowledge is indeed power. a lack of fulfillment. it can include abandonment issues. © Copyright 2003. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. one of the first things I tell them is. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. weight issues are rarely just about weight. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. satisfaction. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image.net 30 . As they discuss and teach in this workshop. In fact.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. confidence or happiness. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. both emotional and physical. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Releasing negative thoughts. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. and getting the right kind of support and advice. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently.. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. take control of your thoughts and change your life. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. This is. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. fear. what does your world look like. observe how you feel. I keep going back to this one phrase. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. Look at yourself. i.com. So wonderful. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event.net 31 . Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life.Knowledge. what do you think about. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. If you don’t like it. in fact. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. You can continue the work on your own. though just an illusion. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. what do you see.e. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. though is not just about external fact. © Copyright 2003. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. that we keep going back to it. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside.
ENERGY. addictions and phobias. As I’ve written before. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. any negative experience. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. fear. including depression. anger. Not a hypothetical path. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. posttraumatic stress disorder. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. has no value of its own. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. a negative experience itself. EMOTIONS. depression. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. © Copyright 2003. general stress. anxiety.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions.net 32 . EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body.
EFT can help with both the cravings. to addiction. In addition. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. do not use self-hypnosis. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. As stated earlier. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. understanding the negative experience is not enough. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. © Copyright 2003. weight loss to pain and illness. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response.net 33 . Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. With or without hypnosis. Remember. deprivation. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. war trauma or severe physical illness. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. and more importantly. emptiness and anxiety. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. With regard to addictions. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible.
Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. but our physical health as well. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships.net 34 . Ryke Geerd Hamer. even more importantly. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hurt and unforgiveness. Likewise. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. resentment. One such study by Dr. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. accidents and increased workplace injuries. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. hostility.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. hurt. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. meditation. By forgiving. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. It can even be linked to suicide. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function.
Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. exposure to toxic substances. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. etc). but it is not. seems somewhat contradictory. whole grains. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. white flour. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Throughout this book you will find theories. pathogens. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. that we are out of balance. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. etc.net 35 . keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. In addition to nurturing your mind.specifically. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. vaccines. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. diet. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. In most cases of cancer. it prevents depression. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. such as genetics. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not.
While listening to your hypnotherapist. or an inability to let go and just relax. stress. Hypnosis can help you. imagery.net 36 . whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. So. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. but balance will return. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level.who have the ability to relax more fully. © Copyright 2003. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique.
Their phytonutrients . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Eat the right foods. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Increase your intake of fish. until the food becomes liquid. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. safflower and vegetable oils. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. Healthy fats. primary by reducing the inflammation. Chew properly. © Copyright 2003. garlic liberally. FEAR.F FABULOUS.carotenoids in carrots. Fruits and vegetables and spices.net 37 . How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. nuts. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Fiber. soy. Drink more water. FOCUS. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. try counting the chews in each bite. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. aiming for 30 to 50 times. turmeric. The indigestible parts of fruits. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. 2. whole grains. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. which as we know reduce inflammation.
Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Any form of exercise helps. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. but so will saunas and hot baths.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Pesticides. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). The solution: Sweat. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. Eat homemade food. 5. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland.) If under pressure at meals. chew. our tissues. chemicals from manufacturing. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. which creates less gas. Our blood is what creates our cells. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system.net 38 . But breathing is also effective. 6. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. our hair. our skin. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. and metals such as mercury and lead from air.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. our organs. Detox. Sweat – cleans up your system. 3. As a matter of fact. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. take deep breaths. Breathe. Losing weight gradually . and let the simple act of chewing relax you. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. Detox is a relative term. Regular exercise should make you sweat. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. 4.
We have to learn how to prioritize our health. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. 10. boost mood. improving your healthy well-being. our relationships. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. fried foods. fats. you sure can laugh at one. etc. grains. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our jobs. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. focused.consists of slow. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. and improve overall health. hydrogenated fats. 9. Have sex. I call it facial meditation. relaxes your body. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. refined flours. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. 7. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Even if you can’t tell a joke. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Tai chi -moving meditation . We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . bread.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. © Copyright 2003. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship.it is delicious. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. meats. Laugh. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. diary products. Have a home-made facial. Take the laughter yoga class. 8.net 39 .
Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. that one thing. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. though. NewBeginnings email@example.com 40 . what we expect.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. it keeps us from making a big mistake. healthy and joyous life you want. fear of success. a short while. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. That one thing is FEAR. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. mood swings. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. or even worse.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.naturalcounselor. insomnia or lack of energy. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. fear of failure. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. FEAR: fear of change. one thing seems to come up most frequently.
© Copyright 2003. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. relationships. Something that is important to you right now. and life just gets better and better. As children we were free to play. in order to be an adult. This is wrong. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. Be honest. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. we were told to leave those dreams behind. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams.net 41 . So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. But. When you have specific. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the more connected we feel. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. and grow up. get out your list and read it again. friends and lovers live this kind of life. the world of adults. pretend and let our imaginations soar.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. afraid of disappointment. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. instead. write down your goals and if you did write them down. for the most part. career and health because you are afraid of failing. we are afraid to dream. Your goals must be your very own. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. We were told to grow up. 2. as we grew older. we have chosen. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. If you haven’t done so already. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. have a reasonably happy life. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. the more vibrant and alive we become. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. People without strong desires slowly whither away.
5. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. doing something together. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Sometimes. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. Remember the Power of Affirmations.net 42 . Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. 4. laughing. if your goal is to run a marathon. parent. though. breathing things. As an example. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You know. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. push yourself to ask for help now. Use them. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. a powerful tool. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. crying and so on. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals.3. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. If you have not asked for support much in the past. When you say your affirmations out loud. it’s hard to focus. FOCUS Look around you. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. life coach or whomever and ask for support. even though we would gladly give it if asked. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Focus.
touch. smell and hearing. confront the situation as needed. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. resentment or anger. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. though. it still exists in our subconscious. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sight. This is commonly referred to as memory. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. When we go through periods of stress. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. © Copyright 2003. Over time. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. our subconscious is able to do this for us. recorded on brain and body cells. physical and emotional well-being. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. interpersonal and relationship problems. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. whether asleep or awake. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. psychological imbalances.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. success and fulfillment. During the course of a day. The subconscious processes everything. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. It disables your emotional resources. and its effects may be positive. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. though. that release.taste.net 43 . affirmative statements. negative or neutral to our mental. you are bombarded with millions of message units. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. Luckily. forgive and accept forgiveness. health.
Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 4. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. anger. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. 2. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. 3. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. Once learned. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. They are also © Copyright 2003. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. tears. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 5. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. During the Releasing session. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. Some situations are deceptively debilitating.net 44 . This not only applies to a current. laughter and perspiration. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. 6. Even when we sleep long hours. existing situation. fear and anxiety. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them.
the brain is your biological computer. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. “I release (relevant emotions. sadness. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness.” 7. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. As people from all backgrounds. including health care professionals and clergy. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. can be done alone. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session.net 45 . the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. the Releaser is asked to state. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour).asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. disappointment. © Copyright 2003. as a Soul. such as anger. and feeling great. function as a computer operator. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however. and your body and life are the printout. once learned. etc. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert.). I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. have learned. 8.
a diversion to keep life interesting. If you think about anger. Each of us is already whole. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A really simple way to test this theory is this. Sometimes. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. Not only in your own relationships. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. not really happy. meaningful and exciting. if you think about a color. thoughts and ideas. We find ourselves drifting along. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. I don’t know about you. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. take the color blue for example. your current life situation. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. A state of being is not an emotion. “I don’t know what I want. fun. not only does life get depressing. You will feel the anger in all the people around you.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. though. something that is crucial to goal setting. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation.net 46 . you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. You choose what you want in your life. Think of it as a game. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. This same principle works the same way for emotions. Without goals. an activity or a thing. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. Conversely. whether it is an emotion. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. After you’ve done this.
Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. If you do this regularly. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. But you can’t manifest everything you want. © Copyright 2003. Adjustments are a good thing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). change is the whole point. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. it would be a boring and scary world. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. responsible. not if you want to improve your life. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. sometime weekly. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. they will never be overwhelming.net 47 . ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. keeps us feeling alive. Don’t forget about free will. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. simple Measurable. it just means you make an adjustment. He’s got free will just as we all do. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. doesn’t mean I can have him.
your goals are clear and you believe that it will. So. © Copyright 2003. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. set those goals. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.net 48 .Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
imagery. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production.D. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. and help strengthen the immune system. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. It can help relieve pain. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. As David Spiegel. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. © Copyright 2003. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. lower blood pressure.net 49 . Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. Working from the inside out. Ph.H HEALING. by using specific. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. releasing negative thoughts. relieve depression and so much more. In a pilot study published in 1999. speed up healing after surgery. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. visualization and positive suggestions. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. turning some functions on and others off. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind.
director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body.net 50 . must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. Arreed Barabasz. The suggestions. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. Every 15 minutes. that’s because it is. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. During the operation. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. empathic care provider and hypnosis. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. © Copyright 2003. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. anxiety and the need for painkillers. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. in terms of levels of pain. and the third received standard care. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. though. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. soothing kind of treatment. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
And this list goes on and on. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. the hypnotized patients used less medication. the brain’s manager and planner. psychologists say. On average. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. “It’s not just a fantasy. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image.” says Marc Schoen. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. A journey that you can now control. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. Once again. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. then the real fun can start. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Using imaging technology. experienced less pain. In effect. realizing all the possibilities available to you.net 51 . the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. If you think you are seeing color. which could account for heightened attention. Spiegel and Lang found. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. involving more than 330 patients. While in the trance. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. you actually see it.” says Spiegel.
I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. All life starts as a spark. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. As we each move through life. We have to cope with irritating. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. hurt. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. we each have to deal with something. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. rude or just plain nasty people.net 52 . © Copyright 2003. unpleasant. Sometimes. Try it once and feel the results. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. Each incident throughout the day affects us. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. this spark can grow a little dim. tension and minor frustrations. When I say fuel. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. Some little problem or some big problem. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. you can do this exercise while awake. hurt.jealously. My purpose is to help them remember. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Problems that we encounter every single day. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. though. fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. stress. resentment. With a bit of practice. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing.
your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. you create a vivid. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves.net 53 . The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. euphoria and control of your life again. Some pleasant. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. however. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. every message unit. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. If there is anything in your world. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. a professor of psychology at Harvard. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. not only will you feel better immediately. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. feel or react. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. anything at all about yourself. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. clarity. and much better about yourself. Try hypnosis. According to Stephen Kosslyn. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. The more visual and real you make your goal. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. more positive thoughts. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. but the results will amaze and delight you.” Using hypnosis. you will feel refreshed. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. As a result. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. relaxed. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. comfort.
Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis.cheryloneil. boost your mood. fixing a problem in one place. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. fear or confidence. mend your ways. and change your life . Never.” Cheryl O’Neil. www. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. feel more loved. More and more doctors as well as patients. September 26. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. failure or success. As stated in Woman’s World. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. Conversely. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. etc. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. what we say to ourselves. can often help the other. The brain is simply another organ in your body. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity.is determined by the thoughts you think.. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. create passionate relationships. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. Simply put.net 54 . who I especially admire. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. build self-confidence. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life.I IMAGERY. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. What we experience as feelings. once wrote. etc. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.” What we think. However. good or bad. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. 2006. depressed © Copyright 2003. heal your body. Your ability to overcome obstacles.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%.qualifiedlifecoach. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. You rise above thinking in mediation.com. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach.net 58 . The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.com © Copyright 2003. “What we think about we bring about. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Go with your first impression you get from each card. 98% of the time I am right. Meditation. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Law of Attraction. Self Esteem. Reiki. Another way I practice is with elevators. Private & Group Coaching. Motivation. use a deck of cards. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Abundance. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. The fourth part is training your mind. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. You know that saying.
Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. You want to stop what you are feeling. If you can cool down. projections. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. delusions. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. You feel violated. It is essential to communicate clearly. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. and grow. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship.net 59 . frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. You want to see them become more of who they are. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. enjoy their life. That’s the truth of love. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. envy. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. You are angry. Often. in control of yourself and your partner. succeed. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you may go into a rage. no matter what that entails. You want revenge. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. and if so.
In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. the jealousy resides within you. If you move inward and look at yourself. you cannot. not within the relationship. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Jealousy is like an onion. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. You can give yourself the gift. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. If you can do this. It does not. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. If your relationship is based on Attachment. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is.net 60 . you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you cannot make a person love you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. © Copyright 2003. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession.
the truth behind what you are feeling. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Going down to an even deeper layer. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. The truth is that for most of us. really look and analyze them. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair.net 61 . and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. It is their own. Projection. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. We think that we should be able to rise above it. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. This is projecting. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Look at the reality. Look at your beliefs. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. This insight. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. This is natural and normal. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Another layer is projection. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. we find envy. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. These all grow out of expectation. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. envy. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. there is nothing to feel guilty about. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. guilt or anger. Another layer can be guilt. you can reach self-awareness. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. You do not own it.
Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. and let that be who you are. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. look deep within yourself at these feelings. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. Surrender to it. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. then what you are experiencing is not love. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. you can watch that love radiate out for all. If you love someone. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. fear of not being worthy of love. They come from our past. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. You do not need to experience jealously. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. When you attempt to possess another person. You can choose to move away from those feelings. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. Perhaps you fear abandonment. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. you become yourself possessed. Open your heart and mind to it. When you love. frequently they are not real. but attachment. Fear of loss. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. Once you release the anger. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. Hypnosis can help. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. let that guide you. they still don’t meet your expectations. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. the resentment and the hurt. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. If you are experiencing jealously. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. fear of being alone.net 62 . our childhood. You become vulnerable. © Copyright 2003. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. If you find yourself doing this. By looking deep within. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions.
Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Jain. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Just a thought. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. There is no judgment involved. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. or alternatively. Most people © Copyright 2003. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not.net 63 . KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. but generally the concept is basically the same. if you prefer. present and future and because of this. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. all of which determine our future. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions.K KARMA. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies.
saint or seer. © Copyright 2003. As stated above.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Fate implies no choice. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person.associate Destiny with fate. fate and destiny are not the same. but fate makes no allowance for free will. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. In the belief systems of many cultures. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. prophet.net 64 . participate and change the direction you are heading. Step in. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. which is a huge component of the human psyche. In the Shang dynasty in China. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. If you are not satisfied with your life.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups.net 65 . What ever it is.00 a year income. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. The concept of the law of attraction is. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. “Let the chips fall where they may”. “What you think about will happen in your life. For example. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. is a good analogy.” It’s about where you put your focus. LIFE. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it.000. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. start by writing it down. The old saying. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. © Copyright 2003. LOVE. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. that can help you with exactly that.
When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. etc. don’t panic. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. now grab it. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. allowing it to happen is vital. pay attention. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. pay attention to what happens next. you then attracted it. I promise you it will show up. Now the key here is to follow up with this. There is something there to be learned or gained. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought.net 66 . Now that you have set this up. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. You asked for what you wanted. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. You have made it clear. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. talk to those people. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead.
GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. maybe © Copyright 2003.com. originally thought of.net 67 . who has no idea that she is. Go to my web site for more information. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. www.qualifiedlifecoach.in a different package. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. It is never wasted and it is never lost.” And I realized as she told me this. life is messy. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. Individual Coaching. Group Coaching. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. a very wise woman. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. she said “You didn’t waste those years. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. Not only that. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. tele-classes and resources are offered. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. that is the Universe telling you go…. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. you used them to learn about yourself. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. The sooner we realize and accept that. You never. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. So live your life. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. She told him something I want to share with all of you.
t. living this life to experience love. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. often including a desire to help.] Shak. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. dating. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. but yes. I was reminded recently. I know. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. all kinds of love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sex. healing. © Copyright 2003. some which I like and others not so much. married or alone. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding.net 68 . then. [Obs. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. First. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. trust . com·pas·sion. partnered. you are perfect. I’m not sure why exactly. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. never have. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. A noun. Definition: To pity. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. v. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. compassion and faith. romance.” When we talk about compassion. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single.
© Copyright 2003. in the process. as well.net 69 . one that you can get behind. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. nobody can make it for you. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. then maybe. Instead of listening to that old record. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. heal others and yourself. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know).K. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. then someone else. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults.Another thing that is so important to remember. My only question to your would be this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. work with or just come into contact with. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. that negative voice in your head. someone around you. with all their faults. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Luck is a real. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. measurable phenomenon. lazy or self-indulgent. those we live with. Give yourself a break. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. and. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. can start to love themselves as well. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for.
M MALE DEPRESSION. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. the depression and the cause of that depression. As Dr. sex. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. or even make the depression worse. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. February 26. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. During the past 50 years. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. In the past.” Michael Craig Miller. “Depression may look like a single disease. In addition. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. and so do the ideal treatments. certainly not for a real man. This can make treatment especially difficult. 2007 article. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. but the underlying causes vary. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And yet. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug.D. with all these statistics facing us.net 70 . gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. M. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. Depression can manifest in many different forms. (Harvard Medical School). and this is just the tip of the iceberg. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks.e. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article..
resentment. guilt and depression. however. Using © Copyright 2003. difficult and painful process. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger.D. Sometimes. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. There are detours that we must take. the healing process. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. 2005. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. Edward M. Woman’s World. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. without help. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. When you release the hurt. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. smooth and without bumps or potholes. October 18. Hallowell. As Dr. bitterness. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. When this occurs. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese.. With the aid of hypnotherapy. Working from the inside out. you take back control of your own life. Ph. love and happiness beyond measure. During the course of this journey and these detours. without wanting or meaning to. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. hurt.net 71 .If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. fear or anger that you are experiencing. helping you regain strong mental-health. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. As I quote above. This is not easy. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. fear. When you recognize that this is occurring.
immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. including diet.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. This has been proven by Dr. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. Holding onto anger. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga.net 72 . In addition. drug abuse and depression. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. alcoholism. With the help of 20. can lead to serious food addictions. a German physician. Dr. hostility. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. eating disorders. hurt. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. resentment.000 brain scans. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Ryke Geerd Hamer. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. pathogens. © Copyright 2003. meditation. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. but our physical body as well.
thought or image. use it and use it frequently. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. white flour. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. keeping track of what is working and what is not. and © Copyright 2003. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Meditation works. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. if you focus on anger. Success is largely an inner game. anger is what you will bring into your life. vaccines. whole grains. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. etc). Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. It requires that you develop a success mind. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti.exposure to toxic substances. Ph.net 73 . I have been there and there is a way out. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. guide them in a positive direction.D. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. This is a way of thinking. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. but to your thoughts as well. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. Success is a process of continually learning new information. In addition to nurturing your mind. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Believe me. yoga can help. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. and this applies to any negative emotion.
Develop a process to examine your fears. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. fear of hard work. Gather new information. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. Fear of change. but also change the world. Yet. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. fear of what other people will think.making adjustments as you keep moving forward.net 74 . and keep moving forward. see unlimited possibilities. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. you simply need to start. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. Take time to dream. exploring one more option or opportunity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. Take action. and create new realities. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. possibility is in the dreaming. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. You will have to change to be successful. the less we fear them. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. and failure. While success requires action. if you talk to any star athlete. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. fear that we are not good enough. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. foster creativity. learn from your mistakes. This is one of the laws of success. fear of failure. generate new ideas. hardship. The success mind trains itself to ask. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. inventor. © Copyright 2003. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. make adjustments along the way. or successful businessperson. conditioning.
form opinions. experience. think. It is never too late to develop your success mind. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. Mental toughness. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. create. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. adventure. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. your feelings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. challenge. When you say yes. Remember. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. As you do this. you will create even more opportunities for growth. You continue to grow. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities.net 75 . and success. your world and your success. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. But once you say no to an opportunity. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Not simply because you say yes. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. Question. Your thoughts. your actions. and grow. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. you likely will feel fear. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. The time to begin is now. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. try on new perspectives. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life.
make corrections..com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. J. Stop caring what other people think. happier. Inc. NewBeginnings email@example.com. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results.com or www. is President of Best Life Design.bestlifedesign. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. lawyer.net 76 .D. and healthier lives. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Mollie Marti. performance coach.. Visit her at www.D. Dream big and take consistent.success and rewards your effort. Ph. © Copyright 2003. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. redirect the effort. engage again and refuse to quit. mediator. directed. and smart action. better. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail.
Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. linguistics and computer science. John Grinder. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. However. Robert Dilts. sales. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). sports. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. and interpersonal influence. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. © Copyright 2003. There is. however.net 77 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. management training. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Unfortunately.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. fire. Use it for minor headaches. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. activity. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. occurrence. use Yellow) money. remember that red not only represents life force. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. think we are making progress or stagnating. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. Also. growth. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. red would probably not be the best color to use. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here.net 81 . You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. You have the power to change your perception. health healing. Whether it makes us happy or sad. © Copyright 2003. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to.
getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. Basically.net 82 . but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. Sometimes. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Perception is a powerful thing. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. there will be no emotional response. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. this is how it works. If you are suffering from a phobia. Relief is truly immediate. Take control. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. but it is not a gift at all. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. But the results tend to be permanent.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. this power. Depending on the phobia. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. control it and use it wisely. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. You are then taken back to the phobia again. though. © Copyright 2003. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. Once you have faced your phobia. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. it can make your life almost unbearable. It can be done in person and over the phone. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. By the time your therapist is done. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia.
Marti. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life.net 83 . maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. Mollie W. fear of failure. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. Fear of change. it may be necessary to make some changes. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. © Copyright 2003. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. you will enjoy them immensely. thinking and dreaming. fulfillment and yes. joyful and full life filled with love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. happiness. and not just a lack of money or things. Frequently they are a result of fear. and not just money or things. prosperity includes a rich. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. money as well. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. even fear of success. however. In order to accomplish this. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. fun. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. both written by Dr.
as I started to research this a bit. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). In the dream it all seems very real. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hear. independent and apart from us. solid. because what was a mechanical. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. Quantum Gravity. Loop Quantum Gravity. taste. utterly real. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. smell. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. the Copenhagen Interpretation. It appears undeniably to be out there. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. We can see it. Supersymmetry. and tangible. external universe. in addition. standing as a physical world. they are all phenomena within the mind. instead. Time. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. Schroedinger’s Cat. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. However real and external these images may seem. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. around us. and hear it. separate from us. touch. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. in about three or four paragraphs! So. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. not the other way around. however. Unified Field Theory. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. space. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. M-Theory. They exist within consciousness. String Theory. touch it. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Theory of Everything. Superstring Theory. Grand Unified Theory. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings.net 84 . EPR Paradox. © Copyright 2003.
Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious.So. and there’s only one real way to do that.net 85 . what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. huh? So. Cool. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.
It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction.R RELATIONSHIPS. congratulations. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. our behavior patterns. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. read on. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. cries or screams when upset. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. if you are not. Unfortunately. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.net 86 . First. © Copyright 2003. possibly even throws things when angry. how they can come apart. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. However. In addition. These two distinct types. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. RELEASING. It is the physical who yells. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed.
When I say E&P attraction. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. And boy do they do relate. When they first meet. I really do mean attraction. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Next would be their children. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. But let’s look into the future several months. what the priorities of each are. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. When his partner complains that they never see each other. With the physical female. he cannot understand why. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. In relationships. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. is quite a bit different. And that’s a good thing. Their first priority is their career.net 87 . many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. So he starts spending more time at work. outgoing. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. secure and © Copyright 2003. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. To her partner it is his career. his career. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. For the physical. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. This is natural. the relationship is of primary importance to her. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. After all. Let’s cover very briefly. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. She is happy. The emotional. She on the other hand. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. on the other hand. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. longer hours at the office.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then hobbies.
Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. This is done through imagery and suggestion. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. When we are healthy and balanced. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. What can be done about this. Sometimes. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remember. fear and guilt. to get clear on your goals for the future.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. communication is key to any successful relationship. Interestingly enough. Release anger. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. Plenty. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. The process is quick. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. With communication you can understand each other. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. though. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. © Copyright 2003. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques.net 88 . releasing occurs naturally. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. sadness. When you understand how the other thinks. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious.
doubts. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. If your subconscious is ready. hurt. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you.net 89 . body and emotions. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. physical. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Ph. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.D. Both techniques are effective. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. fears. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. use your downloadable sessions first. and emotional states. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. That may been all you need at this time. positive thoughts. unpredictability and lack of control. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. Negative expectations. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. anger. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. process and recall information.
taking in a deep breathe. to your computer. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. build in ways to recoup your energy. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. make a choice to expect positive results. Rather. you are ready for it. reading a book.net 90 . Many rituals are quite simple. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. As you add them to your day. For example. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. and in countless other interactions. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. boring day. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. As you spend energy during the day. It’s going to be a gloomy. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. each and every day. You wake up and your first thought might be. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. “It’s gray and cloudy. Rest is any activity.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. You spend mental. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. You give energy away to other people. in and of © Copyright 2003. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. Think and say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. over the telephone. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them.
It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. When you carry negative emotions like fear. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. you are less able to concentrate on your task. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. which is pleasurable and restorative. and discarding the emotion. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. linking it with a unique physical action. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. fatigue. nervousness. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. rhythmic breathing. After a 90-minute presentation. For example. guilt. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. after working at your computer for an hour.net 91 . You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. and anxiety. Influence Management: Before any performance.itself. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. You’ve © Copyright 2003. anger. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. frustration. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you.
Any time you get distracted. back to my task. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. She chose a cloud as her focal point. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. . The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Yet. even if it is a good thing. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. works well. such as a doorframe. For example. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. A tangible engagement cue. If you travel. “OK. or a clock on the wall. a piece of art. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. As you travel or perform in different locations. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. As I cross the line. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. you might choose a banner. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. If you are in your office or in a conference room. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. prior to a presentation or meeting.net 92 . try to use the same type of focal point. © Copyright 2003. I image a red line on the floor. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. . When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . I “turn on” my full engagement. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. body and emotions that it is time to perform. it also had drifted off. consciously look at your focal point. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. can be viewed as a distraction.simply applied a band-aid. but when it came time to start. Before you perform. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. This leads to a less than stellar performance. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance.
She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. This means that if you get away from your rituals. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. lawyer. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance.. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. it won’t feel right. As part of this process.bestlifedesign. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. happier. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. Mollie Marti. Ph. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. concentration. mediator. they will provide great consistency. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. © Copyright 2003. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. including caffeine and adrenaline.molliemarti. A close companion is the use of stimulants. successful entrepreneur. alcohol.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. is President of Best Life Design. J.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.D. Visit her at www. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. and success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you cannot identify your rituals. better.net 93 . It will throw you off. Inc.com or www.D. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. and healthier lives. performance coach. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance..
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Almonds. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. worry.to be one of the first things that goes. salmon. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. irritability. oats. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Unfortunately. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. causing irritability and nervousness. fish. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. etc. Calcium rich foods are almonds. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. prunes. sesame seeds. depression. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. © Copyright 2003. asparagus. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6.net 97 . Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. depression. blood sugar fluctuations. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. kelp. broccoli. mustard greens. garlic. leafy vegetables. apricots. kale. irritability. cabbage. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Calcium. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. bananas. moodiness and nervousness. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. exhaustion. Vitamin B12. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Vitamin B6. apples. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. chronic fatigue. brown rice. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. seafood. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. impatience. fear. You need eat more avocados. such as hormonal imbalances. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress.
such as a squishy ball. oranges. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Walk. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. green leafy vegetables. tuna and whole grains. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. lentils. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. insomnia or lack of energy. though. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. who will take care of our children. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. nobody will.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. salmon. barley. mushrooms. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. root vegetables (such as potatoes.com © Copyright 2003. brown rice. dates. In addition.naturalcounselor. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. you must relax. Bottom line though. a founder of NaturalCounselor. Kiss.net 98 . to work away your tension. but if something happens to us. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. Squeeze a squishy ball. I know mine always have been). our cortisol levels drop. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves.Folic acid. legumes. Start squeezing something. carrots and turnips). mood swings. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. oatmeal. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Call a friend. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. Sing. our family? So let us be stress smart. Foods rich in folate are asparagus.
As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. If you understand that. If you wake up today focusing on debt.net 99 . you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. If you wake up today affirming an illness. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. but to the energy of the present moment. because you cannot stand still. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. I used to feel that way often. Energy is constantly in motion. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. For example. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. According to the laws of physics. I know I have. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a feeling. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. if you are having a problem with money.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again.
vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. for example. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. In a pilot study published in 1999. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. It is only important that it does. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. really. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing.D. and elastic. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. During the sessions. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. Hypnosis. our results suggest. smooth.” Ginandes says. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. You need to make room for change. the truth is. In a follow-up experiment published last year. meanwhile. Pain sufferers.D. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.” So. can influence the body to heal itself. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. Ph. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. © Copyright 2003. Ph.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis.. for most people. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. it doesn’t matter why it works. And. You don’t have to create change. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong.net 100 .
net 101 . The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. © Copyright 2003. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. Take your time with this. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. your love and your joy.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. it is what feels best for you. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. Remember. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. to the left or to the right. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. If it’s behind you. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. look down on the Time Line. Take responsibility for your life and direction. There is no correct answers. When you have determined the directions of past and future. for you happiness and your abundance.
Without getting specific about each of them. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. bad things just happen. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. It might not have looked that way to others. It can look that way to others. you stuck by the wrong person. © Copyright 2003. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have.net 102 . I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. you made a mistake. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). You need them to tell you to be strong. I’d like you to consider another alternative. You procrastinated.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. Sometimes what you need. even if they cannot give it back.
VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. you need to define what it is you want. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. First. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. 85. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. VICTIMHOOD. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. another may practice Hinduism. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. For example. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 90. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. etc. Picture yourself at age 80. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. Spirituality. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way.net 103 . whatever feels right. while another may be a Wiccan. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. © Copyright 2003.
church and society. are you really meant to be together. However. Something very unpleasant. you will certainly feel violated. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. If it is what you believe. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. Think about all the value areas of your life. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. mugged or even raped. but not only that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling.Now think back over your life. You might get angry. What you might think is wrong. friends. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Figure it out early. © Copyright 2003.net 104 . then you’ve got a problem. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. What areas cause you regret. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. then your perception makes it right. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. Remember. What value areas of your life are you happy with. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. or even the perceptions of our family. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. is you. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Perhaps you are abused.
It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. And. Here in the U. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction.. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. etc. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But just take a moment now and really think about it. and society actually encourages this thought. for what you do and what you say. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim.I want you to consider something. A rather sad. it means you are not responsible for anything. etc. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. It wasn’t fun.S. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. But now. my husband ignores me. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. etc. my father was never there to teach me or guide me.net 105 . You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are.” But. Life. my mother didn’t understand me. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. however. my wife doesn’t understand me. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. my kids don’t show me any respect.. happiness and joy available to each of us. my friends don’t understand me. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. my mother didn’t give me enough love. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Simply. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. If we take back control. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. etc. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. 2006..or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. bad relationship and can keep on going. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. please. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. If that is taken away from us . September 26.who you are. etc. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. never © Copyright 2003. feel more loved. build self-confidence. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. For example. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. it is the ability to enjoy life. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. beautiful heart and so much love to give. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. we lose everything. Remember. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. boost your mood. each of us. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. eventually. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. You had to be strong. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. is powerful beyond belief. can often help the other. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Fixing a problem in one place though. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.net 106 . As stated in Woman’s World.
this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. Is essence. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. depressed or negative. can change how your feel. Use the power of your mind. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. If you are feeling down. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 107 . relieve pain.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. your imagination. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. © Copyright 2003. So. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. increase your self-confidence.
Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. before facts have actually been verified. included six small meals a day. etc.e. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. If. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 5. 4. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. WORDS. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. however. Not only that. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. The truth is. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. Confusing. the only diet that had ever worked for them. alcohol. First one. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day.) 3.net 108 .W WEIGHT. bleached flour. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. refined. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. diet and weight. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. it’s good again. scientists.
Has your mother. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Out of all the food you eat in a day. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 19. 17. 9. Do you have cravings for salt? 13.net 109 .6. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 18. © Copyright 2003. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 20. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 8. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 10. 7. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do you associate a person.
Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe.net 110 . It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Abuse victims. self-confidence. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. by working it. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. confidence and happiness. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. a lack of fulfillment. you know that as strange as it may sound. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. You know © Copyright 2003. having said all that. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. WRONG! Words have power.Now. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. satisfaction. You had to be strong. More often than not. survivors. they include abandonment issues. We heal from physical injuries. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind.
think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. But you are wrong. but not only that. When this occurs. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way.net 111 . your talent. wife. husband. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. Also. wider and stronger each and every day. someone will answer. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. But most of all. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. scream and yell and swear all you want. Your life depends on it After all. I have to say this. intelligence and compassion. Vent when you are alone. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003.because I say it over and over again. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. The same holds true for what you hear. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. And for each of us. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. This is why “words” do have so much power. this planet needs you. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. And that’s what venting to another is. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. find out what you can do. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. Make some calls. But when you are with someone you care about. As a matter of fact. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. call out for help. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. throughout your life entire life. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. words can hurt you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Once said they are out there forever. keep your thoughts strong. dreams and desires. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. lover. Think and dream about your future.
It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this.withdraw into ourselves. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you do not feel ready for that. can help. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. Releasing sessions can work well with these. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. much like arthritis in wet weather. However. especially in interpersonal situations. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. If you can do this. © Copyright 2003. when things are going smoothly.net 112 . or. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.
Wait 10-20 seconds. What do you look like. Make a commitment and a decision. drinker. clear and easy breathing. Notice what you see. BINGER ETC. drinking. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Wait 10-20 seconds. you have a decision to make. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. doesn’t it?. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. healthy. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. strong. Notice how you feel. Make a promise to yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. DRINKER. what is different and better. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. When you have done this. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. You can choose to live your life. vibrant.net 113 . the body you want. Of these two possible futures in your life.X X SMOKER. clear skin. Before you make that decision. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. © Copyright 2003. vital. And now let those images fade completely away. your energy will flow in that direction. the decision becomes easy. binger or whatever. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. energy. very clearly. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Whatever it is. Once you decide that you want to quit. are you now sure which one you want.
your life script. you always have a choice. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. When you first begin to work your muscles. your entire belief system. Compare it to strength training. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. you can only lift a small amount of weight. In making a choice. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. a better job. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time.net 114 . © Copyright 2003.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. Everything in life is a choice. joy. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. it does not mean you will receive it. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. success. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. For instance. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. So. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting.com. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. you may never receive it. happiness. and you will begin to see the results of your choices.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. check it out at www. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down.According to Holly.hollygleason. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.com To me. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. check it regularly. © Copyright 2003.net 115 . looking around. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie.
Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest.net 116 . Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or ideal and the determination to further that person. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. cause. please do it with zeal and without apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. or ideal. fight for your dreams and your goals. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. intensity and passion. And always remember this. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. cause. An antonym is apathy.
” and the “sore spot. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. You can also visualize this word in your mind. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. There are 15 points. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. To make this even more effective.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. © Copyright 2003. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand.net 117 . Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. While you are doing these three karate chops. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times.” “gamut spot. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point.
If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. anxiety. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. This is not a sentence.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 5. You can go through the tapping process several times. 7. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 9. 2.” © Copyright 2003. 6.net 118 . 11. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 8. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. Do what feels right for you. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. but do each issue separately. or anything you want changed. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 12. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. fear. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. or AFRAID. 3. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 10. you can use just one or two words. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. or DEPRESSED. 4.
net 119 . visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself.” And that’s all there is to it. And as your heart fire increases. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. uncross your arms and legs. As you do this. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. hurt. resentment or negativity away. By burning away all anger and negativity. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. feelings. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. you open all pathways to love. I love myself. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. you also release all negative thoughts. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. © Copyright 2003. emotions. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. And as your heart fire increases. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. ideas and beliefs within yourself. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. your connection with yourself is complete.
smell it. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else.e.net 120 . it can be a room or someplace outdoors. cleansing breath in and let it out. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. at the beach. Then when you are ready. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. months or even years to be released. hours. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. See it. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. smell the salt. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. If you feel like it and have the time. hear the waves and the birds. allow that color to flow in and out as well. taking this time right now for myself. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. anyplace.. Then imagine or visualize white granules. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. like salt. heal yourself and relax yourself. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. days. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. see the image). If another color comes to mind. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. hear it (i. weeks. Take yourself fully into this place. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. When you reach the © Copyright 2003.
Let go of all tightness within you. thoughts and feelings. emotions. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. happy and having fun together. or whatever it is your desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post.net 121 . © Copyright 2003. You are in control and in charge of your body. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. my guy and I are in love. activity. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. Here’s my snapshot. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. You are in charge of your healing and your life.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. relationship. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. yourself.
Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. live in the moment and dream in the future. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now.net 122 . I say to myself RANCH. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. With my thoughts I create my new. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I keep saying ranch until that image. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I choose to forget past mistakes now. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I vibrate with positive energy. positive delightful reality. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. © Copyright 2003.
..... 128 anxiety 7. 38.9...... 56. 130 apprehension..... 24............... 35... 26.. 6......... 23... 126....... 97. 37.. 37..........30... 35... 106... 28........ 21..... 78 E&P attraction ... 78 affirmations...... 6. 45...... 96... 94....... 42................ 73 depression ... 103... 109........ 78 chronic pain . 26.. 50.. 60........... 60.... 64.. 19.... 67.. 127. 98. 126.........8 Adrian Calabrese......... 32.. 43..... 31.. 58... 110 communication .. 60.........86 addict ...86 Circle Therapy . 30..... 119 confidence.............. 106.2.. 116 Bereavement ....... 9... 37..... 63. 79................... 39. 48......... 99.... 21. 58. 58... 44. 63... 41....... 15......5. 94.. 119.. 105 darkest hour . 79 Carol Ginandes.. 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.... 81... 26. 21. 113........ 122.... 116 disease...... 70.................. 107 Cheryl O’Neil .. 81. 95....... 12 Elvira Lang ... 103. 43.. 37..107 abuse 5.... 6. 63. 78.... 118 consciousness 8......24. 36. 104........121 blood sugar .. 46...... 7. 76 desire. 32..... 44...... 78..... 2. 79 cancer.. 44. 78 EFT ... 42.. 32.. 5... 74............... 45... 71..... 89 fear 1... 91........ 110......125 anger ....... ........ 43....... 121. 41... 32.....7.53....... 30 Eric Butterworth ....... 1. 88...... 78 alternative programs . 52.. 114. 32.. 10.... 46... 60...... 129 alcoholism... 104... 30.......... 8. 46.... 47. 114. 76.... 44.. 6...5.. 35.............. 52........ 97..... 21 David Spiegel............. 22. 112..... 3 addiction . 129......... 118 acute pain......... .... 24.. 114....38.... 106.. 90............ 7. 27..... 20........ 114.. 95.. 18..... 44...... 78...... 116.... 76..... 127. 101.......... 73.................... 34........... 55 Dawn Abraham ............. 5.. 129 food addictions.. 35.. 21...... 94...5. 83..... 43. 95..... 10. 57............. 71. 97.... 5.......... 128.. 103. 117... 81.... 55. 27..... 109.. 60.... 78.. 31.. 89...... 23.............. 126 adrenalin .... 77.... 19.2. 7 attraction ....... 36.. 71.............net i ............ 47. 47.... 74..... 80.... 112 compassion . 32............... 38.... 74..... 7..... 46.. 37. 80. 129 diet . 78 forgiveness.. 54................. 10 binging ...Index 12-step programs . 91.. 54. 72.. 62.............. 37. 94 baggage.. 36.... 29........ 78 cortisol .. 35..... 14...... 75.... 94... 38. 50..... 59..D. 97.88 clarity 9.. 101......... 115............ 89..... 89 balance ....... 90 coronary disease... 8. 5... 87..... 61.. 86...... 56.... 125.... 77.. 53....... 113 Abraham Hicks . 31.. 114.. 94....... 6.. 24 eating disorders....... 71... 36. 20.... 22........... 95 © Copyright 2003.. 121. 33.......5..... 27...... 84........ 102.. 96. 122 chronic anger ... 66..... 97..... 4.. 125 energy ........24.. 88... 38. 42... 45.. 22...7. 35.. 127. 38.. 21... 104................. Ph....... 76............. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 12. 123............54 association . 25.... 3 Alzheimer’s .. 25...... 72... 63...... 93. 2............. 47.. 53.. 77.. 52. 36... 105. 28..... 6. 90. 4... 78..2. 45.........3. 79........ 57. 76.. 7. 21.... 97. 21... 23.....1......... 78.. 36...... 35. 22.. 16..21 Arreed Barabasz .. 48. 6. 6.. 50.....58 choice2... 79 dream 1..D.. 102.. 84..... 130 epilepsy . 131 dreams 22. 124 drinking.. 33. 81........... 98. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ......30 anchor ......2. 5.. 37. 44... 94... 44. 92.... 81........ 104.. 79.. 55 emotional freedom technique ... 70..... 3. 4..... 89..... 119. 5. 35... 39... 121 drug abuse. Ph.. 65..1....... 130 focus... 94... 52.... 104. 27. 96. 3. 102. 21.. 55. 6...
. 94 mood swings ... 115 smoking........ 30........ 36.... 86................... 127 hypersuggestible .......... 38........... 10.... 83 Roger Callahan .. 118 Gary Craig ....... 76... 118........ 35........ 119.. 78....................... 123... 128.....10. 58. 115.... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 47........ 9. 47... 114................. 5...... 6............. 84 panic attacks............. 107.. 78... 87 lose weight 4......... 46...... 57... 122 Harvard ..35 goal .... 5. 77....83 Law of Attraction... 77.. 118............ 102. 42.... 44.... 34.... 101.84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ......... 28.... 54............. 109...............28 John Grinder ... 26........... 54. 116...76 Hridaya Yoga. 58. 30 passive-aggressive .... 87....... 113............ 77. 22. 65. 55. 64.... 101....... 29. 10.. 108 Parkinson’s disease............... 27. 58.......... 53.. 6..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology. 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ..3.. 54.... 42. 77..... 63............. 26.. 78 NLP. 35........... 57. 29 neuro pathways .32 hypnotherapy ... 77.. 77..... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ... 117....... 43.. 119... 109. 122 Ida Kendall .. 112....... 113 prosperity ............ 76.. 32.......... 6...... 79.... 84.............. 118 self-talk ......... 77...... 99.. 83 nitric oxide .. 35.. 77.. 59. 116 happiness ...... 23.... 57...... 37....... 15.. 59................. 25.......... 121 relationships24...............24. 79... 37.. 79...... 31... 21............ 7........ 88........... 113. 89... 125 men ....net ii .... 10.... 51.. 46.... 122. 117 medicine. 66... 83 overload ....... 21............ 74........ 79.... 37. 121 snapshot ......... 60.. 21.. 15...11. 47. 32............ 120 relaxation . 57.. 71 life force....... 59.. 32 phobia ....... 107...7........ 93 message units ............... 107...... 56 hurt............... 33.... 37. 129 heart disease.... 105 Jane C............ 39.36 joy . 42. 78... 40.... 110......... 52... 101 self-image ........ 57 neural interconnections . 8..... 53. 5..... 63.... 110...... 13. 6............. 16... 120... 65...... 78. 6... 110.......... 7..... 83 Robert Dilts.....5.....37...... 67.. 105...... 86 habits. 58.......8........... 49.... 54..fulfillment ..... 50.. Woods .8 hypnosis . 56........... 37............ 43....54 Irina Wardas .. 58... 93. 78....... 89 phobias.. 78. 28..... 109... 47........... 78............ 29. 60.......... 77......... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003....... 32.............. 4..... 54.............. 69. 64.. 79.. 3... 95.............. 30......... 129 resentment.... 81. 75...... 109.. 83.....9. 95.......... 87..... 50..... 118....... 30.... 86.... 57.. 37.. 43......... 47..5.. 6 Pat Dennis........... 27... 53.. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking . 127.. 22.... 37..2. 37 self-esteem ..... 59.... 114 imagery . 7....... 77... 39...... 53........ 89... 21.............. 34.40. 92....... 58....... 13. 9.... 103.. 78.... 79... 87.. 38..10.. 22.... 8........ 43....... 53... 125.. 58... 89............. 120............... 56. 53.. 39........... 86......... 111. 56. 125 immune suppression ...... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute . 17 Janet Luhrs...... 94. 115.. 130 Judith DeLozier ... 37 powerless ....... 47..... 58.............10........9. 38. 103... 22.12 habit ....1......... 14. 43....... 88.. 10....... 19........ 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis...... 6. 57.... 67...... 22....... 67. 107 healing .... 5.. 94... 2............83 John Kappas... 127.. 45...32 illness 36...30 high blood pressure.... 36 Guilt .. 56. 36.. 30....... 37............... 79... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice...........7. 56. 43..... 85......... 128 Richard Bandler .. 99.. 59.......... 10.. 32....... 76.. 119 neuro-linguistic programming . 1.... 44.... 129 grief. 78..
......................... 6............. 116 Women..... 29.......... 56.... 79 thought habits ........ 80....... 106 wounds .. 46.................. 47.5...... 30... 7................. 120 suicide.........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ................. 58....... 111 victimhood ......... 37... 128 subconsciously. 48. 39........ 78....net iii .... 6...... 77.6............ 114 triggering event ......... 36.............. 109... 59...... 109............ 37. 2...... 26....... 94....... 6..... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.............. 44............ 114 weight .............. 125. 84............. 122 zeal. 10....... 77. 120 yummy list ....107 trigger... 124 © Copyright 2003... 22............... 113. 7...... 101..... 78 subconscious.. 8. 34........Stephen Gilligan ... 122. 85..... 95............... 77. 91......... 114 visualization..... 45....................44...53 transformation... 112. 34.. 121 value areas of life.......................... 59.......57 stress hormones .. 5........... 118.... 43............ 57.. 110 Two Futures ... 95.......................... 38...... 47.. 5.....4....83 Stephen Kosslyn .. 65.. 21...... 107........... 78....... 79.. 115... 77.. 85... 60........... 30.. 37........ 109 triggers .... 75......
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