An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. neuro pathways. As I said before. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. when given the proper instructions. feelings. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. emotions and perceptions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. .

.......................1 ABUNDANCE ................. C...................................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE .................................................35 FABULOUS.......... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.............................................................40 FOCUS .........................................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE .......................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)........ FORGIVENESS........................ ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS............................................................................................................5 ANXIETY .............................. ANXIETY.8 CHANGE...... E..... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.....................................................18 COMMUNICATION .............................................................. D.................................................................................................................... FOCUS....................................................8 BALANCE .................................................. AFFIRMATIONS............46 B... BEREAVEMENT ....................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .........................................26 DIETING ..........................................................................21 DEPRESSION.........................................................32 EMOTIONS.................................................................................................................37 FABULOUS ............................................................3 ANGER ................................................................... FEAR............................... ........................... F..........34 ENERGY ...................................................... G............................... DIETING............. ANGER........7 BALANCE.............29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................................................................................. EMOTIONS.26 DEPRESSION ......................................37 FEAR ..............................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.....3 AFFIRMATIONS......................1 ADDICTION ....8 BEREAVEMENT .................. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .............................................46 SMART GOALS ....... ENERGY .................................................................................43 GOALS ...........2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .......... ADDICTION......................................

.............................................................................56 JEALOUSY ................................ MIND SUCCESS ..................................................................59 KARMA.......82 PROSPERITY ..............................65 LIFE...................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)............................ M............................................................. J............................................................................................................ MIND-BODY CONNECTION................................................................. HEALING.................................................................................................................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ................................................................................................................................... PROSPERITY ...68 LUCK ................................H.............................................................. INTUITION.................................................................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.........................49 HEALING .....................80 PERCEPTION .................70 MALE DEPRESSION.........................63 KISMET .............. L........... P.............. Q....................... PHOBIAS................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION....................................... O..................................................... LIFE..............................51 HYPNOSIS.................................49 HEART FIRE .........................81 PHOBIAS .......................................................................................78 PAIN.....................................54 IMAGERY........... N...............................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION.......................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ............................................................. LOVE......59 JEALOUSY................. .................................................................54 INTUITION...............................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .....63 LAW OF ATTRACTION........ KISMET .............78 OVERLOADED LIFE ....................................84 I...........................................72 MIND SUCCESS ............ LUCK ........ HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).........63 KARMA ............................... K...........77 OVERLOAD.... PERCEPTION............................................67 LOVE......................................52 IMAGERY.................................................................................................80 PAIN.. HYPNOSIS...............

..................................................................................................................96 STUCK ... ii...............................................................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE..........................86 RELATIONSHIPS ...............103 VALUE AREAS..111 X SMOKER......................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ........................... DRINKER....................................... VISUALIZATION........... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS........................... BINGER ETC .....................................113 TWO FUTURES ................. EXERCISES .................................................................................................... U........ V..103 VICTIMHOOD ...................................................106 WEIGHT................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE............ Y.............101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE......................................... YUMMY LIST ........................................................................................................ VICTIMHOOD.......................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ........................................................................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)................. iii . RELATIONSHIPS. Z.................................................................................. STUCK .................................................. SELF-TALK........................94 STRESS ........................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT .......................................... WORDS............122 INDEX ..............................................................................116 S.104 VISUALIZATION .. T................................ i...................R...........94 SELF-TALK..............................................................................................................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.......86 RELEASING .....................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)...........................................................................................................114 ZEAL ..........108 WEIGHT ......................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.......108 WORDS..........................94 SELF CONFIDENCE.............................................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY .......................... X....... W................................... RELEASING.88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ..... WOUNDS ........................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS................

have feelings of joy or hopelessness. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. In order to make changes. Fear of change. occurrence. even worse. ANGER. usually as a result of fear. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. As a 1 . Because of this. indeed. we don’t trust it to be real. a life that is rich and full.A ABUNDANCE. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. however. it is filled with laughter. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. love. incident. fear of success. think we are making progress or stagnating. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. AFFIRMATIONS. Even when we know we have this tool. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. ADDICTION. It is our perception of any event. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. © Copyright 2003. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. fear of failure. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. satisfying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. money and success. excitement and yes. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. The future. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along.

you do have a choice. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. the more connected you feel. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. at least for a while. Unfortunately.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. A tempo that is magnetic. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. at least while they are using their drug. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. so. People without strong desires slowly whither away. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. cocaine. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. i. however. no matter what program you are going through. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. the more vibrant and alive you become. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. It is important though. and life just gets better and better. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. Your first step. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict.e. helps them suppress the pain. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. who you can call when you feel you might slip. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. Allow that desire to flow through you. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. 2 . alcohol. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003..

it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. A friend of mine once told me. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. Many people.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. then you. The sooner we realize and accept that. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. However. so. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. www. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.secularsobriety.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for www. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. the addict.habitdoc. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. When you face this pain that you have been running from. you will forever remain an 3 . but you don’t have to. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. I agree with this school of thought. though. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going.practicalrecovery. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible.passagesmalibu. if it is not done. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.

remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. When you move towards what you want.” Or “I will lose weight. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. when what you really mean is.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Be specific. If necessary. So. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” • State your affirmations in the positive. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. then that means you are on the right track. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. not what you want to avoid. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use 4 . If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. the steering wheel of your car. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. that’s like moving uphill. Always create an image of what you want in your life. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.” the message sent to your mind. your computer. When you do this. • Always remember this. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. always focus on what you want to move towards. © Copyright 2003. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. Don’t let fear hold you back.” Or say. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking.

you may see yourself as an avenger. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. then anger becomes a serious health risk. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. So. fatigue. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular 5 . hurt. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. can lead to serious food addictions. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. you may blame others for your situation or condition. going from one trauma to the next. drug abuse and depression. In addition. In situations that cause fear. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. looking for justice and revenge. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. hostility. But some people seem to be angry all the time. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. crying. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. resentment. and heart palpitations. cold hands. If you see yourself as a victim. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. anger is the most common response. shaking. When a relationship ends. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. along with mourning. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Holding onto anger. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. eating disorders. Not only is this destructive to you. Even if we bury anger deep inside. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. alcoholism. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. it can be just as damaging. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. and in small doses can be a good thing. When this is the case.

read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. coronary disease. and can help make you more content. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. it will never go away. bitterness. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. Power and anger are frequently related. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. cancer. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. alcohol and drug abuse. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Remember. and even increased workplace 6 . but anger that may be directed at you by others. expressing your anger in an indirect way. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. suicide. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. fear and hurt. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. and stubborn. If you feel powerless. releasing your anger. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. © Copyright 2003. and depression. Unfortunately. sarcastic. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. Also. and can lead to serious food addictions. In the past. however. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger.

cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. © Copyright 2003. fear or anxiety. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible.).ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. mood swings. fear or anxiety. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. shakiness. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Also. flying. anxiety. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. Fears. driving a car. weakness. being home alone. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. etc. 7 . It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used.

He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. right? Yes and no. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. Just think about that a moment. Happiness. you know. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. I told him the usual 8 . a perfect balance. let them be a reminder to look inside. No one can tell you how to be happy. place or thing that can make you happy. Good advice. getting involved with a church. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. then he’d really truly be happy. Sometimes we need reminders. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. that happiness must come from within ourselves. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. The problem was. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. it didn’t work. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. No matter what you hear. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. Twelve hours of day and night. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy.B BALANCE. then it would make him happy as well. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. There isn’t another person.

“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. and in doing so. 9 . Whether it’s an emotion. No matter how hard we may try. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Woods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the right kind of suggestions. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. happiness. our voice. That means stop analyzing everything so much. if we are stop thinking it to death. lover. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. job or whatever you are seeking. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. They allow you to clear out the old. fulfillment and life find you. You are able to access your subconscious. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. working for you. jane@changingpeople. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. But even more than that. to balance the light and dark within yourself. desire. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. helping you to get yourself out of your own way.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. even the words we use. In this Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. It will. feeling.

Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. and so on. letting relevant people know. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. for example. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. you must do what is right for you. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. However. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). To a degree that can be true. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. © Copyright 2003. It is an immutable part of the human 10 . That said. and generally we prefer not to think about it. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved.the intensity and duration may differ. just a little. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house.

Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling 11 . that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. uncaring. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. when they are breaking bad news to patients. we may need to be told several times. and just plain wrong. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Some enlightened doctors know. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. It is unrealistic but again.Denial A second common response. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. “If I do this. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. once the first shock waves have abated. We may need evidence. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. or those suffering alongside us. a normal response. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Often that is enough. This is where someone less involved can offer help. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. Help them tell you their feelings. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. recognizing it and naming it. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. is a refusal to believe the news. disconcertingly. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. © Copyright 2003. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. we may be compelled to visit the scene. or for feeling angry. For example. if indeed we recognize it for what it is.

The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. You cannot short circuit this process. was decreed. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. how to manage our grief. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private 12 . even perhaps depressed. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. when our behaviour. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. I have lost someone significant in my life’. and even our clothing. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. For example.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. like fundraising for a particular charity. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. just let it go. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us.

This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. However hard it is. © Copyright 2003. we experiment with new ways of behaving. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. such as excessive use of alcohol. we begin to move on. This does not mean forgetting them. be it with a handshake or a hug. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. Let close friends offer you comfort. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. in this phase. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. People want to help but they often don’t know how. But actually. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. which can be a comfort. and this will of course vary from person to person. You may find. Experiment At some point. ask them.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. however it feels. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. feeling there is no point. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. If you need a hug. So. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. you never go right back to the 13 . not in any sense.

whether for you personally. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. Literally. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Helping In Western culture. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Knowing this can help you plan for it. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. surrounded by people. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Again. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. If you can. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. I hope it has been helpful however. Of course.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. be it lighting candle. ritual can be helpful at this time. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Make your peace with that and all will be well. taking flowers to an appropriate 14 . as I have said. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. a card sincerely written. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. so we need to use our discretion. take medical advice. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. be it taking some homemade food round.” © Copyright 2003. or an offer of help with the shopping.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even depressed. depending on the change. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Just remember this. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. Sometimes. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. some research based. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. some anecdotal.C CHANGE. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Some people embrace change and some resist it. How to Cope with Change By Jane C.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. jane@changingpeople. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. Finally. depending on the severity of the make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Sometimes. and some simply telling you how to do it. 15 . we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. we can get very fed up. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. almost no one likes it.

Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. You are speechless at first. Finding they are. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. It may ring a bell with you. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. A Story Here is a short story about change. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. You are feeling bright and chirpy. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. “What?” you say. Worse. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. © Copyright 2003. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. NewBeginnings 16 . apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. However.

That is a fact to record on the top line.. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging.But then. angry. For example. Use two different colours if you like. or determined to make more effort. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. did it make you sad. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. joy of joys. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. vulnerable. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. don’t just focus on the negatives.. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. For example. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So. no one but you is going to see 17 . one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. yes. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. and.

As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. are funny things.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. our responses to change are individual and personal. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. However. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. They begin almost imperceptibly. But as the sun rises. The same principle applies to you. our thoughts. Dawns. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. At first. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. Obviously. no one makes us feel anything. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. Actually. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. however. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. as the dawn progresses. another to frown and feel aggrieved. One may approach it in a positive way. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. while another may be much more fatalistic. 18 . Similarly with our responses to change. overloaded message units and repressed fears. For example. and therefore our feelings. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. Then.

we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. given enough time and repetition. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. detailed imprint of what you desire. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. remember “dawn” can and will happen. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. you start to believe it yourself. clumsy. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. apprehension and fear. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Ultimately. however.anxiety and emotions. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. confused or fearful. inept. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. confidence. but will actually consider them an order. Unfortunately. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. see the right path. When this happens. you do not need to feel this way. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). even our physical health and well being. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Giving you the feeling of freedom. you are in essence training your mind. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or 19 . If you hear over and over that you are stupid. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. For example. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. If you are starting to feel anxious. Be absolutely clear about what you want. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. need or want. relaxation.

all of your life. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. Trust that perhaps the time is just 20 . the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. It’s the life in your years. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. yoga. Guide them. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. abundance.achieving prosperity. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. you need to be aware. realizing all the possibilities available to you. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. Trust that the Universe has. you always have a choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. want and desire. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. does and will continue to offer you what you need. As Abraham Lincoln once said.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. Know that no matter what things might look like. mold them and do it over and over again. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. with clarity. it is a journey. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. You will feel stronger. It does make a difference. in addition. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. you are actually living the life you want. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations.” So live your life fully. so. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. then the real fun can start. If you want a New Beginning. confidence and trust.

They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it.knowing.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. © Copyright 2003. look and listen. our answers are all around us. courage. It is important not to go looking for your sign. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. engage and listen. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. I truly believe that faith. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. yellow balloon. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. dolphins . Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. Hours later I went to take my son to the 21 . malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. The problem is that we communicate differently. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest.

So. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. however. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. enjoys spur of the moment activities. and how natural and normal this is. they will answer yes or no. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. These two types. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. but E&P affects. screams. possibly even throws things when angry. It is the physical who yells. In relationships. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. among other things. if you ask a physical if they are cold. it isn’t. opposites really do attract. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. First. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say 22 .I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. whatever when upset. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Communication. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. cries. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. © Copyright 2003. An example would be. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. the way we communicate with each other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. how they can come apart. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. people don’t realize just how true this is. is so much more than simple questions. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other.

It becomes a vicious circle. Remember though. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. © Copyright 2003. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. self-confidence. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. the more the physical pushes. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. This E&P communication. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. We heal from physical injuries. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. Words have power. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. Also. however is just one part of communication. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation.The same thing occurs when communicating. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. Conversely. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Since we tend to project our thoughts. they can ruin lives. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. you can see how this could be problematic. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. You had to be strong. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional 23 . Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say.

so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. bad relationship and can keep on going. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. Your life depends on it After all. As a matter of fact. Make some calls. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. The same holds true for what you hear. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. intelligence and compassion. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. wider and stronger each and every day. leave. find out what you can do. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. beautiful heart and so much love to give. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. this planet needs you. This is why “words” do have so much power. Also. call out for help.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. But you are wrong. is powerful beyond belief. © Copyright 2003. You know because I say it over and over again. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. Think and dream about your future. throughout your life entire life. your talent. but not only that. But most of all. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. keep your thoughts strong. each of us. by working it. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. dreams and desires. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. someone will 24 . If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. The woman who has come out of a nasty. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind.

© Copyright 2003. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. wife. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And that’s really what venting to another person is. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. scream and yell and swear all you want. our child. But when you are with someone you care about. words can destroy you. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Vent when you are alone. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. words can hurt you.Each of us. Once said they are out there forever. 25 .

The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . DIETING. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. Jill Ammon-Wexler. According to Dr. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. As research continues in this area. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. Miller goes on to stress. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. conditions and illnesses. No one is born with such a brain -. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. AND -.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. suicidal 26 . “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. and just like any other habit. if this work fulfills its potential. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. Researchers like Dr. In addition. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. NewBeginnings is created. thought patterns and thought habits. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. Dr. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. but in essence they are just like any other habit. however.D DEPRESSION. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. if we want is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. According to Dr.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. In fact. © Copyright 2003. sleep problems and/or exhaustion.even into very advanced old age. depression.

Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. healthy muscles. I don’t want to be around negative people. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. I just want to be happy. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. What it does understand. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. even more importantly. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. “unhappy”. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a 27 . What we think. © Copyright 2003.use it or lose it. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. what we say to ourselves. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. fulfilled life. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. Think about that a moment. etc. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. “disappointed in my relationships”. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy.

Woman’s World. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power.D. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. subconscious level. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. Pay attention to what you are thinking. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Massachusetts. October 18. Fixing one problem can often help the other. including cancer. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. 100 times more. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Bruce Cohen. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Reflect on the positive. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Ph. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). An unhealthy body can lead to depression. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. with the aid of hypnosis. Take responsibility for your thoughts. epilepsy. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. is originating on a deeper.. whether it is physical or emotional. 2005. reflect on the contrary. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. When you can take a truth and internalize it. heart disease. on a subconscious level.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. it will continue to go 28 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” observes Dr. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. stroke and Alzheimer’s. When there is negative thinking. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. So. Parkinson’s disease.

a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. now again we are hearing. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. people. First we were told that fat. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. never a comparison with all the other studies. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. then we were told maybe it isn’t. When most of us think about diet and weight. we are really only getting part of the story. Part of one study. The truth is. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you).net 29 . Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. any kind of fat. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. it seems as if all the doctors. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. test or theory. especially our young women.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. and of course. Chocolate was bad for you. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. is bad for you. especially in the United States. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). but in addition. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. we just don’t want to do it. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. And throughout all of it. The first diet included six small meals a day. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. Confusing. sometimes to death. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. according to the New York Times. the second diet was only three meals a day. diet and weight. and these are serious issues indeed. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. © Copyright 2003. particularly among our young people. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of.

We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. by taking control of our thoughts. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. one of the first things I tell them is. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. Knowledge is indeed power. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Just as with any weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. it can include abandonment issues. © Copyright 2003. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. As we live our lives. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. With the internet available to all of us. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. satisfaction. and getting the right kind of support and advice. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain….When a client contacts me about a weight issue. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. we tend to carry around baggage from our 30 .” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. In fact. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. both emotional and physical. a lack of fulfillment. confidence or happiness. weight issues are rarely just about weight. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. Releasing negative thoughts.

When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. in fact. Look at yourself. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. © Copyright 2003. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. take control of your thoughts and change your life. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. I keep going back to this one phrase. You can continue the work on your own. If you don’t like it. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. i. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your 31 . anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. This is. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. what does your world look like. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. what do you think about. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop.. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. observe how you feel. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. though just an illusion. though is not just about external fact. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.Knowledge. what do you see.e. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So wonderful. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. that we keep going back to it. fear.

EMOTIONS. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. ENERGY. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) 32 . The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. As I’ve written before. © Copyright 2003. any negative experience. addictions and phobias. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. has no value of its own. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. fear. a negative experience itself. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. depression. anxiety. including depression. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. posttraumatic stress disorder. Not a hypothetical path. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. general stress. anger. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions.

In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. do not use self-hypnosis. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. emptiness and anxiety. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. to addiction. With regard to addictions. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. weight loss to pain and illness. Remember. and more importantly. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. war trauma or severe physical illness. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. With or without hypnosis. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. © Copyright 2003. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. In addition. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. understanding the negative experience is not enough. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. deprivation. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. As stated earlier. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. EFT can help with both the 33 . The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

even more importantly. It can even be linked to suicide. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. hurt. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. but our physical health as well. By forgiving. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. accidents and increased workplace injuries. a German physician conducted with the help of 20.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. One such study by Dr. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. Likewise. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. resentment. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. hurt and unforgiveness. Ryke Geerd 34 . meditation. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. hostility. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. For example. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion.

Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. diet. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. etc. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. seems somewhat contradictory. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. pathogens. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. In addition to nurturing your mind.specifically. but it is not. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. that we are out of balance. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. such as genetics. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. whole grains. vaccines. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. white flour. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. exposure to toxic substances. etc). In most cases of cancer. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Throughout this book you will find theories. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it prevents 35 . something out of alignment emotionally or physically. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake.

imagery. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. While listening to your hypnotherapist. 36 . but balance will return. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis can help you. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. or an inability to let go and just relax. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. © Copyright 2003. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life.who have the ability to relax more fully. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy.

To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. Healthy fats. whole grains. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. The indigestible parts of fruits. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Drink more water. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. turmeric. FEAR. primary by reducing the inflammation. Eat the right foods. Fruits and vegetables and spices. nuts. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. Fiber. 2. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. FOCUS. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every 37 . until the food becomes liquid. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. safflower and vegetable oils. Increase your intake of fish. © Copyright 2003. aiming for 30 to 50 times. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. like heavily processed foods as well as corn.F FABULOUS.carotenoids in carrots. Chew properly. garlic liberally. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. try counting the chews in each bite. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. Their phytonutrients . soy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. which as we know reduce inflammation.

Regular exercise should make you sweat. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Eat homemade food. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. Our blood is what creates our cells. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. Losing weight gradually . 5. 4. Any form of exercise helps. our organs. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. But breathing is also effective. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Detox is a relative term. 38 .) If under pressure at meals. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. 3. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. take deep breaths. As a matter of fact. but so will saunas and hot baths. Breathe. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. The solution: Sweat. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). our hair. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. 6. our skin. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. Pesticides. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. which creates less gas. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. chemicals from manufacturing. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Sweat – cleans up your system. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. our tissues. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. Detox.

deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. 9. focused.consists of slow. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. 8. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. relaxes your body. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. refined flours. Laugh. hydrogenated fats. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. diary products. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. Take the laughter yoga class. Have sex. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. meats.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. boost 39 . because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. © Copyright is delicious. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. etc. fried foods. and improve overall health. our relationships. Tai chi -moving meditation . you sure can laugh at one. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness .(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. 10. fats. Have a home-made facial. bread. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. 7. grains. our jobs. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. improving your healthy well-being. Even if you can’t tell a joke. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . I call it facial meditation. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques.

We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. or even worse. That one thing is FEAR. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003.naturalcounselor. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. that one thing. mood swings. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. healthy and joyous life you 40 . one thing seems to come up most frequently. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. what we expect. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. insomnia or lack of energy. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. fear of failure. fear of success. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. a short while. FEAR: fear of change. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. it keeps us from making a big mistake. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. though. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do.

Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relationships. Your goals must be your very own. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. we are afraid to dream. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. When you have specific. pretend and let our imaginations soar. afraid of disappointment. the more vibrant and alive we become. career and health because you are afraid of failing. the world of adults. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. instead. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. as we grew older. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. in order to be an adult. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. We were told to grow up. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. If you haven’t done so already. for the most part. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. write down your goals and if you did write them down. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. This is wrong. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. 2. friends and lovers live this kind of life. and grow up. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). have a reasonably happy life. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Be honest. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. As children we were free to play. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Something that is important to you right now. get out your list and read it again. But. and life just gets better and better. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. the more connected we feel. we were told to leave those dreams behind. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen 41 . we have chosen. © Copyright 2003. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away.

that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. laughing. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. 5. life coach or whomever and ask for support. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Focus. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. it’s hard to focus. push yourself to ask for help now. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. When you say your affirmations out loud. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. a powerful 42 .3. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. As an example. FOCUS Look around you. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. Remember the Power of Affirmations. 4. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Sometimes. though. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. if your goal is to run a marathon. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. parent. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. breathing things. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. crying and so on. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Use them. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. doing something together. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. You know. even though we would gladly give it if asked.

physical and emotional well-being. confront the situation as needed. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. touch. Over time. forgive and accept forgiveness. smell and hearing. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. negative or neutral to our mental. whether asleep or awake. © Copyright 2003. success and fulfillment. though. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. This is commonly referred to as memory. During the course of a day. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. The subconscious processes everything. that release. our subconscious is able to do this for us. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. it still exists in our subconscious. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. and its effects may be positive. recorded on brain and body cells. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. It disables your emotional resources. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message 43 . we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -.taste. affirmative statements. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. though. you are bombarded with millions of message units. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. interpersonal and relationship problems. resentment or anger. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. sight. Luckily. health. psychological imbalances. When we go through periods of stress.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person.

2. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive 44 . he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. anger. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. During the Releasing session. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. They are also © Copyright 2003. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. tears. laughter and perspiration. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. fear and anxiety. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. existing situation. This not only applies to a current. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. 4. 3. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Once learned. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. 6. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. Even when we sleep long hours. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. 5. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs.

sadness. © Copyright 2003. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). function as a computer operator. as a Soul. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. and your body and life are the printout.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. have learned.” 7. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. however. the brain is your biological computer. such as anger. including health care professionals and clergy. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. the Releaser is asked to state.). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. disappointment. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. 8. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. etc. once learned. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. and feeling great. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. As people from all backgrounds. can be done alone. “I release (relevant 45 . and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer.

an activity or a thing. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. If you think about anger. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. meaningful and exciting. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. This same principle works the same way for emotions. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the 46 .G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. I don’t know about you. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. A really simple way to test this theory is this. though.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. not only does life get depressing. not really happy. a diversion to keep life interesting. We find ourselves drifting along. Without goals. Conversely. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. your current life situation. Not only in your own relationships. Each of us is already whole. whether it is an emotion. fun. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. take the color blue for example. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. After you’ve done this. if you think about a color. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. Think of it as a game. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. You choose what you want in your life. thoughts and ideas. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. A state of being is not an emotion. “I don’t know what I want. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. something that is crucial to goal setting. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing.

they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. But you can’t manifest everything you want. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. Adjustments are a good thing. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. doesn’t mean I can have him. If you do this regularly. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. they will never be overwhelming. keeps us feeling alive. simple Measurable. it just means you make an 47 . Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. © Copyright 2003. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. not if you want to improve your life. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. responsible. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). change is the whole point. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. Don’t forget about free will. it would be a boring and scary world. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. He’s got free will just as we all do. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. sometime weekly.

your goals are clear and you believe that it will. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.Remember. set those goals. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. © Copyright 2003. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto 48 . So.

perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. turning some functions on and others off. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. Working from the inside out. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. relieve depression and so much more. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. It can help relieve pain. by using specific. and help strengthen the immune system. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. visualization and positive suggestions. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. lower blood pressure. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose.D. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. As David Spiegel. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Ph.. © Copyright 2003. imagery. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. speed up healing after surgery.H HEALING. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone 49 . aid with gastrointestinal ailments. In a pilot study published in 1999. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. releasing negative thoughts.

director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. and the third received standard 50 . almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . in terms of levels of pain. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. Arreed Barabasz. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. During the operation. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. The suggestions.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. anxiety and the need for painkillers. soothing kind of treatment. Every 15 minutes. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. that’s because it is. empathic care provider and hypnosis. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. © Copyright 2003.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. though.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.

it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. On average.” Using imaging technology. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. Once again. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. In effect. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. “It’s not just a fantasy. While in the trance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. psychologists say. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. If you think you are seeing color. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. involving more than 330 patients. you actually see it. then the real fun can start. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. experienced less pain. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. Spiegel and Lang found.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. the hypnotized subjects used less medication.” says Spiegel. And this list goes on and on. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others.” says Marc Schoen. A journey that you can now control. the brain’s manager and planner. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. realizing all the possibilities available to 51 . which could account for heightened attention. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. the hypnotized patients used less medication. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex.

Problems that we encounter every single day. we each have to deal with something. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. NewBeginnings 52 . I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. We have to cope with irritating. Each incident throughout the day affects us. Sometimes. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. With a bit of practice. As we each move through life. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. tension and minor frustrations. When I say fuel. hurt. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away.jealously. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. unpleasant. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. Try it once and feel the results. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. My purpose is to help them remember. stress. resentment. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. fear. you can do this exercise while awake. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. rude or just plain nasty people. © Copyright 2003. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. Some little problem or some big problem. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. All life starts as a spark. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. hurt. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. this spark can grow a little dim. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. though. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire.

You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. If there is anything in your world. relaxed. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. As a result. The more visual and real you make your goal. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. © Copyright 2003. Try hypnosis. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. euphoria and control of your life again. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Using hypnosis. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. more positive thoughts. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. you create a vivid. a professor of psychology at Harvard. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. feel or react. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. you will feel refreshed. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. not only will you feel better immediately. According to Stephen Kosslyn. every message unit. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. anything at all about yourself.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. however. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. comfort. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. and much better about yourself. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Some pleasant. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. but the results will amaze and delight you. 53 . hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery.

Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. NewBeginnings 54 . “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. September 26. Your ability to overcome obstacles. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. 2006. However. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.. More and more doctors as well as patients. What we experience as feelings. once wrote. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. www. build self-confidence. Conversely. feel more loved. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. Never. The brain is simply another organ in your body. etc. fixing a problem in one place. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. Simply put. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind.cheryloneil. what we say to ourselves. and change your life . fear or confidence. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other Cheryl is talking about imagery. boost your mood.” Cheryl O’Neil. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. create passionate relationships. depressed © Copyright 2003. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. As stated in Woman’s World. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training determined by the thoughts you think. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. who I especially admire. good or bad.I IMAGERY. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. etc. can often help the other. heal your body. mend your ways. failure or success.” What we think.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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com. Meditation. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Self Esteem. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. 98% of the time I am right. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Motivation. Private & Group Coaching. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. The fourth part is training your mind. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. 58 . “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. “What we think about we bring about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing © Copyright 2003. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. use a deck of cards. You know that saying. Law of Attraction. Abundance. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Another way I practice is with elevators.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach.qualifiedlifecoach. You rise above thinking in mediation. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow.

you may go into a rage. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. and if so. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. You want to see them become more of who they 59 . It is what we would call unconditional or true love. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. enjoy their life. You want revenge. You are angry. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. That’s the truth of love. You feel violated. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. no matter what that entails. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. in control of yourself and your partner. It is essential to communicate clearly. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. delusions. You want to stop what you are feeling. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. succeed. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. If you can cool down. projections. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. envy. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. Often. and grow.

If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. Jealousy is like an onion. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at 60 . This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. It does not. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. If you move inward and look at yourself. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. the jealousy resides within you. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. you cannot make a person love you. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. You can give yourself the gift. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. If you can do this. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. not within the relationship. you cannot. If your relationship is based on Attachment. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture.

It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Another layer can be guilt. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Another layer is projection. guilt or anger. Look at the reality. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. We think that we should be able to rise above it. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. The truth is that for most of us. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Going down to an even deeper layer. the truth behind what you are feeling. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. It is their own. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. we find envy. This is natural and 61 . Projection. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. you can reach self-awareness. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. These all grow out of expectation. You do not own it. there is nothing to feel guilty about. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. really look and analyze them. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. Look at your beliefs. This is projecting. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. envy. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. This insight. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful.

You do not need to experience jealously. You become vulnerable. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. the resentment and the hurt. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. look deep within yourself at these feelings. If you love someone. they still don’t meet your expectations. frequently they are not 62 . or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. fear of being alone. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. If you find yourself doing this. Fear of loss. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. You can choose to move away from those feelings. Open your heart and mind to it. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. When you attempt to possess another person. but attachment. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. Hypnosis can help. you can watch that love radiate out for all. fear of not being worthy of love. Surrender to it. They come from our past. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Once you release the anger. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. then what you are experiencing is not love. Perhaps you fear abandonment. and let that be who you are. When you love. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. let that guide you. If you are experiencing jealously. © Copyright 2003. you become yourself possessed. By looking deep within. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our childhood.

that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. present and future and because of this. or alternatively. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. but generally the concept is basically the same. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. action and reaction that governs and controls all life.K KARMA. if you prefer. There is no judgment involved. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. all of which determine our future. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Jain. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny).net 63 . Just a thought. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. Most people © Copyright 2003.

but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. fate and destiny are not the same. saint or seer. © Copyright 2003. participate and change the direction you are heading. Fate implies no 64 . Step in. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. In the belief systems of many cultures. If you are not satisfied with your life. As stated above. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but fate makes no allowance for free will. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. In the Shang dynasty in China.associate Destiny with fate. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. prophet.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be.

It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. The concept of the law of attraction is. For example. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad.000.L LAW OF 65 . if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator.00 a year income. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. The old saying. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. is a good analogy. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. “What you think about will happen in your life. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. start by writing it down.” It’s about where you put your focus. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. LOVE. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. “Let the chips fall where they may”. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. LIFE. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. that can help you with exactly that. © Copyright 2003. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What ever it is.

Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. pay attention. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. There is something there to be learned or gained. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. don’t 66 . talk to those people. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. I promise you it will show up. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. Now the key here is to follow up with this. etc. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now that you have set this up. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. You have made it clear. You asked for what you wanted. you then attracted it. now grab it. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. pay attention to what happens next. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. allowing it to happen is vital. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project.

you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. Group Coaching. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. maybe © Copyright 2003. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. It is never wasted and it is never lost. originally thought of. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. So live your 67 . that is the Universe telling you go…. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life.” And I realized as she told me this. The sooner we realize and accept that. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. a very wise woman. Not only that. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. tele-classes and resources are offered. You never. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. Go to my web site for more information. www.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC.qualifiedlifecoach. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. she said “You didn’t waste those years. life is a different package. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. NewBeginnings LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. We cannot make everything nice and neat and She told him something I want to share with all of you.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. who has no idea that she is. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. you used them to learn about yourself. Individual Coaching.

understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. some which I like and others not so much. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering.” When we talk about compassion. married or alone. © Copyright 2003. I know. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. t. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. com·pas·sion. dating. [Obs. never have. but yes. compassion and faith. trust . The message really is that you need to be in love with you. A noun. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. First. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. then. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. I was reminded 68 .] Shak. you are perfect. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. healing. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. Definition: To pity. v. partnered. often including a desire to help. living this life to experience love. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). I’m not sure why exactly. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sex. all kinds of love. romance.

as well. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. in the process. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Luck is a 69 . My only question to your would be this. that negative voice in your head. © Copyright 2003. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. then someone else.Another thing that is so important to remember. can start to love themselves as well. and. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. those we live with. Instead of listening to that old record. measurable phenomenon. heal others and yourself. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). someone around you. nobody can make it for you. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Give yourself a break. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. then maybe. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. with all their faults. lazy or self-indulgent. one that you can get behind.K. work with or just come into contact with.

” Michael Craig Miller. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. In addition. the depression and the cause of that depression. This can make treatment especially difficult. certainly not for a real man. And yet. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. but the underlying causes vary. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. As Dr. and so do the ideal treatments.. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another.e. During the past 50 years. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. sex. with all these statistics facing us. “Depression may look like a single disease. (Harvard Medical School). because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. M. In the 70 . Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. 2007 article. or even make the depression worse. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause.D. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. February 26.M MALE DEPRESSION. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. Depression can manifest in many different forms.

When you recognize that this is occurring. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. love and happiness beyond measure. however. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. Using © Copyright 2003. 2005. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. difficult and painful process. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. bitterness. the healing process. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. resentment. Sometimes. Hallowell. Working from the inside out. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. October 18. without wanting or meaning to. hurt. fear. This is not easy. As I quote above. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit.D.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Ph. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. As Dr. smooth and without bumps or potholes. When you release the hurt. you take back control of your own life. Woman’s World. There are detours that we must take. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. When this occurs.. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. Edward M. fear or anger that you are experiencing. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. helping you regain strong mental-health. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to 71 . without help. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. With the aid of hypnotherapy. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. guilt and depression. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. During the course of this journey and these detours.

can lead to serious food addictions. but our physical body as well. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Ryke Geerd Hamer. hostility. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. pathogens. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Holding onto anger.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. hurt. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. meditation. alcoholism. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. This has been proven by Dr. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic 72 .any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. eating disorders. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. including diet. With the help of 20. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. resentment. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga.000 brain scans. In addition. Dr. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. a German physician. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. drug abuse and depression.

It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you focus on anger. anger is what you will bring into your life. and this applies to any negative emotion. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. etc). use it and use it frequently. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. Believe me. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other 73 . but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Ph. Success is a process of continually learning new information. I have been there and there is a way out. and © Copyright 2003. This is a way of thinking. It requires that you develop a success mind. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur.D. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Meditation works. thought or image. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. yoga can help. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. etc. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Success is largely an inner game. white flour. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. In addition to nurturing your mind. but to your thoughts as well. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. guide them in a positive direction. vaccines. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. whole grains. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times.exposure to toxic substances.

You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. inventor. see unlimited possibilities. and create new realities. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life 74 . © Copyright 2003. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. or successful businessperson. but also change the world. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. This is one of the laws of success. fear that we are not good enough. the less we fear them. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. Take time to dream. Fear of change. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. While success requires action. learn from your mistakes. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). conditioning. and keep moving forward. and failure. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. fear of failure. if you talk to any star athlete. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. fear of what other people will think. possibility is in the dreaming. The success mind trains itself to ask. hardship. make adjustments along the way. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. Gather new information. fear of hard work. you simply need to start. Develop a process to examine your fears. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. You will have to change to be successful. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. exploring one more option or opportunity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. generate new ideas. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. Yet.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. Take action. foster creativity. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped.

you will create even more opportunities for growth. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of 75 . You continue to grow. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. Mental toughness. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. experience. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. As you do this. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. you likely will feel fear. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. your feelings.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. Remember. challenge. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. your world and your success. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. create. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Your thoughts. and grow. Not simply because you say yes. try on new perspectives. adventure. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. and success. But once you say no to an opportunity. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. It is never too late to develop your success mind. The time to begin is now. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. think. When you say yes. your actions. Question. form opinions. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile.

and smart action. lawyer. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Mollie Marti. directed. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. © Copyright 2003. make corrections.molliemarti. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Dream big and take consistent.D. engage again and refuse to quit. redirect the or www. mediator. Ph. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Inc.success and rewards your effort. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible.. is President of Best Life Design. 76 . She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Stop caring what other people think. Visit her at www. and healthier lives. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. better.. performance coach.

disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. and interpersonal influence. linguistics and computer science. Robert Dilts. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. John Grinder. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. however. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. management training. There is. However. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). Frequently when NLP is mentioned. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. sales. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the 77 . Unfortunately. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. sports. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. © Copyright 2003.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. fire. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. activity. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. occurrence. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. growth. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. use Yellow) money. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. Use it for minor headaches. health healing.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. Also. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. red would probably not be the best color to use. © Copyright 2003. remember that red not only represents life force. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. have feelings of joy or 81 . You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. You have the power to change your perception. Whether it makes us happy or sad. think we are making progress or stagnating. focus (if you have a problem with Orange.

Basically. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. this is how it works. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. there will be no emotional response. it can make your life almost unbearable. Relief is truly immediate. Take control. But the results tend to be permanent. By the time your therapist is done. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. Depending on the phobia. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. Once you have faced your phobia. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. but it is not a gift at all. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. Perception is a powerful thing. It can be done in person and over the phone. You are then taken back to the phobia again. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. © Copyright 2003. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. take responsibility for not only your actions but your 82 . It may seem like a gift in the beginning. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. control it and use it wisely. this power. though. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Sometimes. If you are suffering from a phobia. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia.

Mollie W. you will enjoy them 83 . Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. it may be necessary to make some changes. thinking and dreaming. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. however. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. and not just money or things. happiness. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. both written by Dr. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. In order to accomplish this. prosperity includes a rich. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. joyful and full life filled with love. fun. Frequently they are a result of fear. © Copyright 2003. and not just a lack of money or things. Marti. fear of failure. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fear of change. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. fulfillment and yes. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. even fear of success. money as well. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity.

M-Theory. hear. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Quantum Gravity. utterly real. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. They exist within consciousness. not the other way around. external universe. Loop Quantum Gravity. In the dream it all seems very real. and tangible. touch it. separate from us. around us. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. However real and external these images may seem. space. as I started to research this a bit. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. © Copyright 2003. smell. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Theory of Everything. they are all phenomena within the mind. Supersymmetry. Schroedinger’s Cat. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. It appears undeniably to be out there. touch. independent and apart from us. taste. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. solid. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. instead. Time. String Theory. in about three or four paragraphs! So. We can see it. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. EPR Paradox. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Grand Unified Theory. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. and hear it. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. however. in addition. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. because what was a mechanical. standing as a physical 84 . When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Superstring Theory. Unified Field Theory. the Copenhagen Interpretation.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your 85 . Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. and there’s only one real way to do that. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition.So. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. huh? So. Cool.

© Copyright 2003. how they can come apart. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. possibly even throws things when angry. Unfortunately. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. congratulations. It is the physical who yells. However. I am talking about just how we each relate to 86 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. RELEASING. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. First.R RELATIONSHIPS. our behavior patterns. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. read on. These two distinct types. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. cries or screams when upset. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. In addition. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. if you are not.

This is natural. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. When they first meet. his career. then hobbies. Next would be their children. When I say E&P attraction. But let’s look into the future several months. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. And that’s a good thing. When his partner complains that they never see each 87 .Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. Their first priority is their career. what the priorities of each are. is quite a bit different. With the physical female. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. To her partner it is his career. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. And boy do they do relate. Let’s cover very briefly. outgoing. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. After all. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. The emotional. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. he cannot understand why. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. She on the other hand. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. She is happy. In relationships. the relationship is of primary importance to her. longer hours at the office. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. on the other hand. For the physical. I really do mean attraction. secure and © Copyright 2003. So he starts spending more time at work.

Remember. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. Plenty. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. This is done through imagery and suggestion. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. With communication you can understand each other. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. communication is key to any successful relationship. Sometimes. When you understand how the other thinks. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. to get clear on your goals for the future. Interestingly enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. What can be done about this. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. sadness. though. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. The process is quick. Release anger. fear and guilt. © Copyright 88 . But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. When we are healthy and balanced. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. releasing occurs naturally.

positive thoughts. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. physical. and emotional states. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. hurt. That may been all you need at this time. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. anger. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. fears. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. doubts. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. If you feel that you may need some releasing work.D. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Both techniques are effective. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. process and recall information. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. use your downloadable sessions first. Negative expectations. If your subconscious is 89 . The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Ph. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. body and emotions. unpredictability and lack of control.

If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. As you add them to your day. to your computer. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You spend mental. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. You give energy away to other people. Rest is any activity. over the telephone. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. and in countless other interactions. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. As you spend energy during the day. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. reading a book. exhaling and smiling every time the phone 90 . Rather. Many rituals are quite simple. boring day. It’s going to be a gloomy. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. build in ways to recoup your energy. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Think and say. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. make a choice to expect positive results. taking in a deep breathe. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. You wake up and your first thought might be. “It’s gray and cloudy. For example. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. in and of © Copyright 2003. each and every day. you are ready for it. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you.

linking it with a unique physical action. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. Influence Management: Before any performance. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. fatigue. guilt. For example. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk.itself. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. and anxiety. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. after working at your computer for an hour. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. After a 90-minute presentation. frustration. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. When you carry negative emotions like fear. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. and discarding the emotion. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. You’ve © Copyright 2003. 91 . you are less able to concentrate on your task. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. which is pleasurable and restorative. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. anger. rhythmic breathing.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but when it came time to start. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. . Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. Yet. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. This leads to a less than stellar performance. “OK. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. such as a doorframe. As I cross the line. If you are in your office or in a conference room. Any time you get distracted. © Copyright 2003. I image a red line on the floor. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. It immediately precedes the performance and says. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. or a clock on the wall. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. back to my task. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. body and emotions that it is time to perform. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. a piece of art. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. works well. For example. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. She chose a cloud as her focal point. . “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . you might choose a banner. If you 92 .simply applied a band-aid. As you travel or perform in different locations. it also had drifted off. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. A tangible engagement cue. prior to a presentation or meeting. can be viewed as a distraction. even if it is a good thing. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Before you perform. consciously look at your focal point. try to use the same type of focal point. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. I “turn on” my full engagement.

concentration. mediator. successful entrepreneur. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Mollie Marti. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the 93 . alcohol. lawyer. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. happier. As part of this process. This means that if you get away from your rituals. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success or www. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Visit her at www. © Copyright 2003. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. and working mother to help others design and live their best life.D. is President of Best Life Design. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. and healthier lives. better. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. they will provide great consistency.. including caffeine and adrenaline. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. If you cannot identify your rituals. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. it won’t feel for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.molliemarti. Inc. J. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way.bestlifedesign. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. performance coach.D. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.. Ph. It will throw you off.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. and success.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


exhaustion. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. moodiness and nervousness. causing irritability and nervousness. apricots. Vitamin B12. depression. bananas. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. leafy vegetables. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. mustard greens. Vitamin 97 . Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. oats. salmon. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. broccoli. blood sugar fluctuations. kale. Unfortunately. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. © Copyright 2003. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. such as hormonal imbalances. You need eat more avocados. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. depression. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. seafood. prunes. chronic fatigue. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. irritability. sesame seeds. impatience. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. garlic. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. etc. Some of these nutrients are: be one of the first things that goes. apples. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. fear. Almonds. asparagus. cabbage. irritability. worry. brown rice. Calcium. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. fish. kelp. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6.

a founder of NaturalCounselor. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. Bottom line though.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. such as a squishy ball. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. Squeeze a squishy ball. you must relax. Call a friend. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. who will take care of our children. our family? So let us be stress smart. I know mine always have been).com © Copyright 2003. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. legumes. mood swings. salmon. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. nobody will. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Kiss. but if something happens to 98 . oranges. brown rice. Walk. Sing. though.naturalcounselor. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. mushrooms. In addition. our cortisol levels drop. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. green leafy vegetables. barley.Folic acid. carrots and turnips). As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. tuna and whole grains. to work away your tension. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. dates. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. oatmeal. insomnia or lack of energy. root vegetables (such as potatoes. Start squeezing something. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. lentils.

I used to feel that way often. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. if you are having a problem with money.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. If you wake up today affirming an illness. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. If you wake up today focusing on 99 . You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. I know I have. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. If you understand that. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). but to the energy of the present moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Energy is constantly in motion. According to the laws of physics. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. because you cannot stand still. a feeling. For example.

can influence the body to heal itself. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. It is only important that it does. During the sessions..” So. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. really. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. Pain sufferers. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. our results suggest. it doesn’t matter why it works. the truth is. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. © Copyright 2003. And. smooth. for most people. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. Ph. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery.” Ginandes says.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background.D. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. for example. In a pilot study published in 1999. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. You don’t have to create change. Harvard University psychologist Carol 100 . Ph. In a follow-up experiment published last year. and elastic. meanwhile. Hypnosis.D. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. You need to make room for change.

© Copyright 2003. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. There is no correct answers. Remember. When you have determined the directions of past and future. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. Remember. for you happiness and your abundance. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. your love and your 101 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. If it’s behind you. Take your time with this. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. look down on the Time Line. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. Take responsibility for your life and direction. to the left or to the right. it is what feels best for you.

I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. even if they cannot give it back. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. I’d like you to consider another alternative. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. bad things just happen. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. It might not have looked that way to others. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. Without getting specific about each of them. You need them to tell you to be strong. You procrastinated. Sometimes what you need. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this 102 . The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. It can look that way to others. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. you made a mistake. you stuck by the wrong person. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances.

whatever feels right. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. 90. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. First. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. 85. © Copyright 2003. For example. Picture yourself at age 80. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. etc. you need to define what it is you want. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that 103 . Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. while another may be a Wiccan.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Spirituality. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. another may practice Hinduism. VICTIMHOOD.

Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. then your perception makes it right. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another 104 . but not only that. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. friends. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Something very unpleasant. You might get angry. However. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. © Copyright 2003. you will certainly feel violated. Perhaps you are abused. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. are you really meant to be together. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. mugged or even raped. church and society. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. What areas cause you regret. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. Figure it out early. What you might think is wrong. If it is what you believe. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. is you. Think about all the value areas of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What value areas of your life are you happy with. or even the perceptions of our family. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. Remember. then you’ve got a problem.Now think back over your life.

This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. etc. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of 105 .S. happiness and joy available to each of us. And. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me.” But. and society actually encourages this thought. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. my mother didn’t understand me. A rather sad. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. however. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. my wife doesn’t understand me. etc.I want you to consider something. Here in the U. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me.. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. But now. my kids don’t show me any respect. etc. my husband ignores me. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. But just take a moment now and really think about it. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. my friends don’t understand me. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. for what you do and what you say. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. Life. It wasn’t fun.. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. my mother didn’t give me enough love. it means you are not responsible for anything. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction.

you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. Simply. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. never © Copyright 2003. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. September 26. boost your mood. Remember. The woman who has come out of a 106 . the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. etc. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. is powerful beyond belief. we lose everything.who you are. can often help the other. eventually. Fixing a problem in one place though. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. please. If we take back control. For example. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.. You had to be strong. As stated in Woman’s World. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. 2006. etc. build self-confidence. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. beautiful heart and so much love to give. bad relationship and can keep on going. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. feel more loved. If that is taken away from us . “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. it is the ability to enjoy life.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. each of us.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life.

relieve pain. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. can change how your feel. depressed or negative. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. Use the power of your mind. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. your imagination. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired 107 . increase your self-confidence. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. So. If you are feeling down. © Copyright 2003. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. Is essence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

bleached flour. alcohol. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything.) 108 . however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The truth is. the only diet that had ever worked for them. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. Not only that. diet and weight. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. it’s good again. 4. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. refined. etc. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. WORDS. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors.W WEIGHT. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. before facts have actually been verified. First one. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. Confusing. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. scientists. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight.e. 5. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. included six small meals a day. If.

you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Do you associate a person. 8. Do you eat breakfast? 15. Has your mother. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 9.6. 18. 20. 109 . © Copyright 2003. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 7. 19. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 10. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12.

It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. they include abandonment issues. We heal from physical injuries. You had to be strong. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. self-confidence. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. by working it. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that 110 . it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. confidence and happiness. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. having said all that. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You know © Copyright 2003. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Abuse victims. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. WRONG! Words have power. you know that as strange as it may sound. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. More often than not. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. survivors. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. a lack of fulfillment.Now. satisfaction. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives.

WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. And for each of us. The same holds true for what you hear. But most of all. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Make some calls. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes.because I say it over and over again. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. find out what you can do. This is why “words” do have so much power. scream and yell and swear all you want. Your life depends on it After all. Vent when you are alone. When this occurs. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. And that’s what venting to another is. I have to say this. wife. keep your thoughts strong. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Also. Think and dream about your future. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. throughout your life entire life. dreams and desires. But you are wrong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. subconsciously we © Copyright 111 . friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. As a matter of fact. Once said they are out there forever. your talent. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. wider and stronger each and every day.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. this planet needs you. lover. intelligence and compassion. husband. But when you are with someone you care about. call out for help. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. words can hurt you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. someone will answer. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. but not only that.

try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. Releasing sessions can work well with these. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.withdraw into ourselves. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. when things are going smoothly. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. However. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of 112 . improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. much like arthritis in wet weather. If you can do this. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. can help. or. If you do not feel ready for that. especially in interpersonal situations.

Once you decide that you want to quit. Before you make that decision. Make a commitment and a decision. vibrant. binger or whatever. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. what is different and better. are you now sure which one you want. the body you want. You can choose to live your life. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Notice how you feel. doesn’t it?. healthy. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. And now let those images fade completely away. drinker. What do you look like. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. strong. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Of these two possible futures in your life. When you have done this. the decision becomes easy. your energy will flow in that direction. 113 . clear skin. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Notice what you see. Make a promise to yourself.X X SMOKER. Wait 10-20 seconds. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. energy. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. clear and easy breathing. Whatever it is. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. DRINKER. vital. BINGER ETC. very clearly. © Copyright 2003. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Wait 10-20 seconds. you have a decision to make.

Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. Everything in life is a choice. When you first begin to work your muscles. Compare it to strength training. joy. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. you can only lift a small amount of weight. your life script. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. it does not mean you will receive it. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. © Copyright 2003. a better job. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In making a choice. For instance. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. your entire belief system. you may never receive it. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. 114 . you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. you always have a choice. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. success.

We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual To me. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.According to Holly.hollygleason. looking around. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a 115 . © Copyright 2003. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. check it regularly. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. check it out at www. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle.

Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. An antonym is apathy. intensity and passion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fight for your dreams and your goals. And always remember this. cause. cause. or ideal and the determination to further that person. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have 116 . please do it with zeal and without apathy. or ideal. it means a diligent enthusiasm. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest.

” and the “sore spot. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. While you are doing these three karate chops. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. There are 15 points.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine.” “gamut spot. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. You can also visualize this word in your mind. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. © Copyright 117 . To make this even more effective. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly.

anxiety. 118 . 11. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. fear. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 12. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping.” © Copyright 2003. you can use just one or two words. 7. 2. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. This is not a sentence. or DEPRESSED. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 6.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. You can go through the tapping process several times. Do what feels right for you. but do each issue separately.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 10. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. 8. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 3. 5. or AFRAID. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 9. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. or anything you want changed. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points.

uncross your arms and legs. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself.” And that’s all there is to it. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. © Copyright 2003. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. you open all pathways to love. emotions. your connection with yourself is complete. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. ideas and beliefs within yourself. As you do this. you also release all negative thoughts. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. And as your heart fire increases. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. And as your heart fire increases. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. By burning away all anger and negativity. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. feelings. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. I love myself. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even 119 . Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. resentment or negativity away.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. hurt.

I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. days. Then when you are ready. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. If another color comes to mind. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. anyplace. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. See it. smell the salt. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4…….PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. weeks. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. allow that color to flow in and out as well. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. If you feel like it and have the time. see the image). Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. at the beach. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. hear it (i. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cleansing breath in and let it 120 . I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. taking this time right now for myself. heal yourself and relax yourself. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Then imagine or visualize white granules. like salt. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. smell it. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away.. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. months or even years to be released. hours. Take yourself fully into this place. hear the waves and the birds. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body.e.

feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. happy and having fun together. relationship. You are in charge of your healing and your life. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. Here’s my snapshot. You are in control and in charge of your body. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. yourself. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. 121 . You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. thoughts and feelings. emotions. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. or whatever it is your desire. Let go of all tightness within you. my guy and I are in love. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you.

my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I say to myself RANCH. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I vibrate with positive energy. With my thoughts I create my new. I keep saying ranch until that image. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. live in the moment and dream in the future. © Copyright 2003. positive delightful reality. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much 122 . At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I choose to forget past mistakes now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. My life is becoming more joyful on every level.

. 30. 60... 96.. 4.. 94. 24... 90.. 21 David Spiegel....... 42..... 92. 63... 19.. 79 Carol Ginandes.. 63. 29. 58....... 66.... 52.. 55 emotional freedom technique ... 6. 7 attraction . 21... 78 alternative programs ....... 119..... 88.........2............. 47.. 95 © Copyright 2003.......... 76. 22... 95.. 27.. 103..................... 80.. 95....58 choice2....... 114... 35. 78. 79 dream 1.... 114.. 121.. 78 forgiveness..... 19...... 9.......... 10. 6..21 Arreed Barabasz ... 57. 35.. 23... 94.. 84. 58.... 35. 36..... 89.. 2... 32..................86 addict ....... 28.... 14... 71. 95.24............ 33.38.. 46........ 55 Dawn Abraham .. 10 binging .. 79 cancer.. . 106.... 47........Index 12-step programs .. 60.. 20. 91..... 56....... 78 EFT .. 112. 77. 45.. 77... 89 fear 1.... 101.. 78... 30. 41.. 24... 97...... 48.... 97.. 25. 30 Eric Butterworth .. 107 Cheryl O’Neil ..... 102. 80.. 90 coronary disease.............9.. 127..... 128 anxiety 7........ 105 darkest hour ....... 16. 24 eating disorders.........5..... 6............. 52. 90. 79.................. 35. 79.... 110 communication ...... 130 apprehension. 21........ 78. 106... 87........ 72............. 129....... 65.... 3 addiction . 35.. 76 desire... 37........1...... 128. 103.... 47. 26... 36... 32.... 6..... 50.. 89...... 43. 78 chronic pain .. 18............ 37...... 3. 127....... 44. 94...... 109.....24.... 27.... 117. 116 disease... 35... 42. 7.. 50. 5..... 45. i ......88 clarity 9... 6. 71. 118 acute pain..... Ph. 122........ 88.2................5.............. 39.... 23.. 60. 21..... 46.86 Circle Therapy ... 5..30 anchor . 36. 53....... 124 drinking.. 131 dreams 22... 31..... 93... 56.......... 43...... 62.. 12.... Ph.. 67.. 42. 20....................... 83. 7.......... 31........ 7... 41..... 81.. 22...... 46. 98........... 94. 127.. 52. 97... 99........... 60... 4...2... 122 chronic anger ..... 113 Abraham Hicks . 104...... 103. 78 affirmations.. 102... 126.. 6. 77... 104....2.......... 81. 55........ 44....... 123...... 102......... 114.. 78.. 106.... 129 diet ..... 26..... 3 Alzheimer’s .. 3.. 28... 76................... 70..... 21....53. 31. 129 alcoholism..... 46.54 association . 8........ 78 E&P attraction ..... 96..... 7..... 32... 5. 36.8 Adrian Calabrese.. 129 food addictions. 94 baggage.. 94...... 130 focus........ 45.............. 54. 5. 43. 34.... 44.... 126 adrenalin ... 39... 73 depression ...... 37.... 43.. 37.. 21.. 73.. 21.. 94... 44. 45.. 21. 35.... 97...... 2...... 10.. 81..... 126. 21......107 abuse 5... 50. 74..... 64.... 53... 1............ 78 cortisol ....... 78. 86. 6. 23..... 101. 37.. 74.....5. 97... 33. 74... 114........ 44....... 37.... 118 consciousness 8. 48.......3...7.... 38. 57. 114...... 26.. 47........... 89 balance . 71.... 37.. .. 109.... 32.125 anger ......................... 89.............. 27... 55.. 96.. 4. 44................. 44.. 105...... 115. 121....... 36.. 116.. 125. 25. 27. 5... 60.. 121 drug abuse.30........ 35. 52.. 104...... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma. 112 compassion ...1.. 98... 32.. 110... 6. 59..... 71...... 61...... 75.......7. 38. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .5.. 113.... 119 confidence.. 104... 38... 97. 63... 81......... 5....... 125 energy ..... 38........... 76...... 8... 104......... 38. 70... 84... 58........... 79.. 94........ 6.......... 22.... 72........ 22............................D..... 78..... 32.... 54. 130 epilepsy .. 81.. 116 Bereavement ...D. 15...... 91. 12 Elvira Lang . 36. 76..........121 blood sugar ...... 119.........

...... 121 relationships24. 114 imagery ... 77.......... 51. 78.......................... 127... 86.. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ........24 Journal of Clinical Psychology......... 59....... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ... 46....... 59... 4...... 30.. 78........ 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine . 125. 35....... 119....... 21.. 31... 85. 118...... 6....... 102. 84.... 53.... 37 powerless .. 63.......... 39....76 Hridaya Yoga. 60... 92.... 30.. 38............ 77.. 120.. 53... 47.. 89. 6.. 10......... 58.. 56.. 95....32 hypnotherapy ... 46. 49.... 5.. 27.. 2........ 25...... 78......... 38. 56 hurt..... 57......... 95.. 77... 42...... 47.83 John Kappas...... 37. 54.....36 joy ........30 high blood pressure............... 27.... 8....... 36... 39..... 56......10...... 6. 9. 58............ 75.. 6 Pat Dennis. 60..... 37....32 illness 36. 101 self-image .......... 59.... 43.......... 77.. 86...... 88.... 125 men ....... 78.......... 67...........1......... 22.... 36 Guilt . 43...24...5......... Woods . 40. 101. 112........ 114............ 29. 77.. 94.. 9.......28 John Grinder ......... 17 Janet Luhrs.. 7....... 37... 47.............. 77....... 57 neural interconnections ........ 19. 79... 14...... 128 Richard Bandler .... 50. 116.... 117.. 10.. 45. 111. 99.............. 54. 105 Jane C...fulfillment ...7........ 127 hypersuggestible . 87 lose weight 4... 84 panic attacks.... 74. 65.. 118.. 113 prosperity .... 15... 38..... 110........ 43........ 10............... 76.. 32.. 44.. 36.10....54 Irina Wardas ..... 109............... 5... 71 life force... 79..... 107....... 37...... 37... 109..... 35..... 33......... 16. 34. 79...... ii . 78. 109. 87. 30....... 89 phobias..... 23.... 105......... 7...... 101............ 93....... 32... 107 healing .............. 53..... 37 self-esteem .......... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice..40........ 83... 109.................37..10..... 54.. 32 phobia ... 15.. 113.... 78 NLP... 83 Robert Dilts. 108 Parkinson’s disease.... 58.... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ... 10..............5..................... 129 heart disease.. 26.. 13.84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .......... 29 neuro pathways ..... 115. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 22... 86...... 78... 13... 29.... 22............. 55...................... 47...9. 64.. 83 Roger Callahan ... 107. 7.. 118....... 94 mood swings ...3..... 99... 44............... 53... 6........ 32....8 hypnosis ..... 83 overload ..11... 122 Harvard .... 43. 43...... 110. 87.......... 118 Gary Craig . 57........... 88.83 Law of Attraction.... 120 relaxation ............... 63. 107............ 78. 87.. 117 medicine....... 110.... 57. 59. 22. 47.. 30. 3........... 69.. 56.............. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003.... 58.. 67.. 50........ 79....... 125 immune suppression .. 76........ 37. 89....... 28.. 81....... 119 neuro-linguistic programming . 115.... 78.. 1........... 83 nitric oxide .......... 77... 54..... 65....... 57.. 10............. 34....... 120.. 53.... 37.... 115 smoking............ 79. 103.......... 5..35 goal .. 103... 116 happiness ................ 42..7.. 113. 43...... 5..... 58. 67....... 79.12 habit ...... 86 habits..... 47...... 77.. 118 self-talk ... 123. 57.... 8........... 119.... 66.... 127. 129 grief.....8......... 21. 59.............. 56...2.... 78........ 26..... 53.... 35....... 76....... 130 Judith DeLozier ... 21... 64... 32..... 79. 6. 30 passive-aggressive ... 56...... 58............ 122 Ida Kendall . 77....... 58.............. 93 message units ..... 122... 77. 54.. 21... 42..... 39....... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis..... 128........... 6. 121 snapshot . 22.... 57. 37. 94........ 52......9. 129 resentment.... 58............................ 28....

... 95...... 78 subconscious. 85. 59. 47...... 114 triggering event ... 111 victimhood ..........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ... 95.. 115..... 107....83 Stephen Kosslyn ....107 trigger... 79 thought habits ............ 10. 6.. 80... 114 visualization..................6. 94............ 34.... 125............ iii . 75. 2. 45. 122 zeal.. 37........ 60....... 114 weight .......... 84........................ 65.. 121 value areas of life......... 79......................... 57.... 120 suicide................... 59...... 77............. 47.......53 transformation... 7. 43.... 5... 56................... 78...... 85........ 38....5.Stephen Gilligan .............. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att....... 106 wounds ....... 113... 6..... 36........................... 91........................ 116 Women.................. 44.. 7. 109............... 77... 37..4.....57 stress hormones . 122.. 120 yummy list ......... 37... 21. 22. 77.... 124 © Copyright 2003.... 48. 39. 5.................. 30.................. 112......... 110 Two Futures ... 26.. 78....... 118. 128 subconsciously. 29.. 101..... 6...... 77. 109.......................44.. 109 triggers ..... 30.. 8.. 58.......... 46.................................

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