An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. emotions and perceptions. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. . when given the proper instructions. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. feelings. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. neuro pathways. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. As I said before. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session.

..............................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ..................8 BALANCE .....................................32 EMOTIONS....................................3 ANGER ...................8 CHANGE........... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE................................................................................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ................ FORGIVENESS.....................................................................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ....29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).......................5 ANXIETY ............................................................................7 BALANCE....................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE................................................................................18 COMMUNICATION ............................ F......................... AFFIRMATIONS..............................37 FABULOUS .......32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)........................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS...........21 DEPRESSION........26 DEPRESSION ..........................................................................................................................................43 GOALS ........................................................ FEAR...... EMOTIONS............ E........................................................................................ ADDICTION......... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE........46 B..... ANGER....26 DIETING .............................................................. FOCUS............................3 AFFIRMATIONS.............................................................35 FABULOUS.......................46 SMART GOALS ...........................................................1 ADDICTION .. BEREAVEMENT ................................... ENERGY .....................34 ENERGY ..........................................................................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ............. .............................. C.................................. ANXIETY......................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ................................................................. DIETING.. G...................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ..........................................................................................................................................40 FOCUS .37 FEAR ............................... D..

...........................68 LUCK ............................................................................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ............................................................................... LUCK ................................................... P...............................63 KARMA ............................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION... HEALING...............................................H.... PERCEPTION.................63 KISMET .................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)...67 LOVE.............................................................................................................................52 IMAGERY..........................59 JEALOUSY...........80 PAIN.........................77 OVERLOAD..................................................................................................78 PAIN..............................54 INTUITION................ MIND SUCCESS .....................56 JEALOUSY ............................................................... L.......................................... INTUITION......................................... K...................................59 KARMA................ J...................81 PHOBIAS .........................................................84 I............................................................................................................................................ LIFE.............. HYPNOSIS..54 IMAGERY..........69 MALE DEPRESSION.51 HYPNOSIS...................................... PHOBIAS...70 MALE DEPRESSION............................ LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS..........................................82 PROSPERITY ................80 PERCEPTION ................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ....... N.............. PROSPERITY .........72 MIND SUCCESS .................................................. KISMET ..............78 OVERLOADED LIFE ........63 LAW OF ATTRACTION...................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION..................................................................................................................................................................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)........................................................................................... ........... M........... O...................................................................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .............................65 LIFE......................................................................................49 HEALING .49 HEART FIRE ................ Q............ LOVE............

.......................................................................................................................................... DRINKER................................. U................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT..................................................... BINGER ETC ..................................... T............. W............................................................................................................... Y.............. STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).................................................122 INDEX ....................................................... EXERCISES ....................103 VALUE AREAS............................... RELEASING..................... WOUNDS ....................................... RELATIONSHIPS....................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ................................................................................. VICTIMHOOD......................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.............117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS..............................................................................................................................................104 VISUALIZATION .........................106 WEIGHT........114 YUMMY LIST .....................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .................94 SELF-TALK................................114 ZEAL ..........108 WEIGHT ..................................... SELF-TALK........111 X SMOKER.............................................113 TWO FUTURES ....................94 STRESS ...........116 S.88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS .............. iii .......................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE.108 WORDS.............................................. X..........102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE........................R............................................................ RITUALS FOR SUCCESS............ i...................................... VISUALIZATION............................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE......................................................................................... YUMMY LIST .................................... ii........................... V..............103 VICTIMHOOD .. STUCK .................................................................................................................. Z................................. WORDS.......86 RELEASING .....110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)......................86 RELATIONSHIPS ............................................96 STUCK ..............................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.............99 TIMELINE THERAPY ......

but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. In order to make changes. love. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. AFFIRMATIONS. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. Fear of change. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. Even when we know we have this tool. usually as a result of fear. however. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. ANGER. The future. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. money and success. excitement and yes. As a result. fear of failure. incident. we don’t trust it to be real. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. It is our perception of any event.A 1 . we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. fear of success. it is filled with laughter. © Copyright 2003. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. indeed. occurrence. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. ADDICTION. satisfying. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. think we are making progress or stagnating. Because of this. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. a life that is rich and full. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. even worse.

if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help.. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success 2 . it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. at least while they are using their drug. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. however. no matter what program you are going through. i. It is important though. helps them suppress the pain. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. at least for a while. the more connected you feel. Unfortunately. the more vibrant and alive you become. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. alcohol. who you can call when you feel you might slip. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. Allow that desire to flow through you. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. however. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. and life just gets better and better. you do have a choice. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. cocaine. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. A tempo that is magnetic. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. so.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you.e. Your first step. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. People without strong desires slowly whither away.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. if it is not done. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. don’t really use affirmations in the best way www. so. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life.habitdoc.passagesmalibu. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. However. then you. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. I agree with this school of thought. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. The sooner we realize and accept that. A friend of mine once told me. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. but you don’t have to. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. Many www. though.practicalrecovery. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight 3 . We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and www. When you face this pain that you have been running from. www. the addict.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. you will forever remain an addict.

actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. • Be specific. If necessary. Don’t let fear hold you back. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. your computer.” the message sent to your mind. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. always focus on what you want to move towards. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. when what you really mean is. • Always remember this. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. Always create an image of what you want in your life.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. When you move towards what you want.” Or “I will lose weight. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. not what you want to avoid. the steering wheel of your car. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. then that means you are on the right track. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. So. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. When you do this. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. © Copyright 2003. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you.” Or say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting 4 . that’s like moving uphill.” • State your affirmations in the positive.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.

The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. going from one trauma to the next. But some people seem to be angry all the time. Not only is this destructive to you. So. When a relationship ends. and in small doses can be a good thing. In situations that cause fear. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. hostility. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. anger is the most common response. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. and heart palpitations. alcoholism. When this is the case. eating disorders. hurt. shaking.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. Holding onto anger. can lead to serious food addictions. you may see yourself as an avenger. cold hands. fatigue. along with mourning. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. If you see yourself as a victim. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. it can be just as damaging. drug abuse and depression. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. crying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you may blame others for your situation or condition. In 5 . Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. then anger becomes a serious health risk. looking for justice and revenge. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. Even if we bury anger deep inside. resentment.

and can help make you more content. and can lead to serious food addictions. bitterness. fear and hurt. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sarcastic. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. and stubborn. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. Remember. expressing your anger in an indirect way. Unfortunately. and even increased workplace injuries. If you feel powerless. suicide. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. it will never go away. Also. but anger that may be directed at you by others. and depression. Power and anger are frequently related. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. however. releasing your anger. coronary disease. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. cancer. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. © Copyright 2003. In the 6 . alcohol and drug abuse. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger.

flying. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. anxiety. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. driving a car.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. Fears. being home alone. nausea.). shakiness. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. etc. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. fear or anxiety. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. fear or anxiety. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. Also. mood swings. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. © Copyright 2003. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. 7 .

Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. No one can tell you how to be happy. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. The problem was. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. So he spent years studying and reading self-help 8 . Twelve hours of day and night. right? Yes and no. then he’d really truly be happy. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Good advice. a perfect balance. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Happiness. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. you know. Sometimes we need reminders. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. then it would make him happy as well. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. getting involved with a church. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. No matter what you hear. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy.B BALANCE. let them be a reminder to look inside. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. place or thing that can make you happy. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. that happiness must come from within ourselves. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. I told him the usual stuff. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Just think about that a moment. There isn’t another person. it didn’t work. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy.

they allow the subconscious to grow strong. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. Whether it’s an emotion. desire. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. the right kind of suggestions. stop thinking it to death. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. to balance the light and dark within yourself. working for you. and in doing so. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. if we are angry. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. In this state. job or whatever you are 9 .“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. That means stop analyzing everything so much. It will.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. No matter how hard we may try. feeling. But even more than that. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. You are able to access your subconscious. goal. our voice. even the words we Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. jane@changingpeople. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. They allow you to clear out the Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Woods. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. lover. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. happiness. fulfillment and life find you.

If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. and so on. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. just a little. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the 10 . but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. you must do what is right for you. letting relevant people know. However. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. That said. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. © Copyright 2003. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut.the intensity and duration may differ. It is an immutable part of the human condition. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. To a degree that can be true. and generally we prefer not to think about it. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. for example.

You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. a normal response. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. we may be compelled to visit the scene. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. uncaring. Often that is enough. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the 11 . once the first shock waves have abated. Help them tell you their feelings. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. For example. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. Some enlightened doctors know. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. recognizing it and naming it. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. when they are breaking bad news to patients. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. © Copyright 2003. “If I do this. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. we may need to be told several times. or those suffering alongside us. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. disconcertingly. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. and just plain wrong.Denial A second common response. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. It is unrealistic but again. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. or for feeling angry. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We may need evidence. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. is a refusal to believe the news. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients.

even perhaps depressed. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. and even our clothing. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for 12 . although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. how to manage our grief. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. You cannot short circuit this process. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. like fundraising for a particular charity. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. just let it go. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. I have lost someone significant in my life’. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. was decreed. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when our behaviour. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. For example.

The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be 13 . You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. But actually. however it feels. Experiment At some point. which can be a comfort. © Copyright 2003. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. in this phase. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. You may find. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. and this will of course vary from person to person. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. If you need a hug. you never go right back to the beginning. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. be it with a handshake or a hug. This does not mean forgetting them. we begin to move on. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. feeling there is no point. not in any sense. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. ask them. Let close friends offer you comfort. we experiment with new ways of behaving. However hard it is. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. People want to help but they often don’t know how. such as excessive use of alcohol. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. So.

If you can. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. surrounded by people. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. ritual can be helpful at this time. Of course. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. as I have said. taking flowers to an appropriate place. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. be it taking some homemade food round. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. I hope it has been helpful however.” © Copyright 14 . Literally. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. Knowing this can help you plan for it. a card sincerely written. be it lighting candle. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. take medical advice. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Again. Helping In Western culture. whether for you personally. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. so we need to use our discretion. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. or an offer of help with the shopping.

This phase goes on for ages or not too 15 .C CHANGE. depending on the change. even depressed. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Finally. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. Sometimes. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. we can get very fed up. Just remember this.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. some research based. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. Sometimes. jane@changingpeople. Some people embrace change and some resist it. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Woods. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. depending on the severity of the change. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. almost no one likes it. We are shocked that our world is not staying the and some simply telling you how to do it. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . How to Cope with Change By Jane C. some anecdotal.

you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. You are speechless at first. A Story Here is a short story about change. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. It may ring a bell with you. However. You are feeling bright and chirpy. Finding they are. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. “What?” you say. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm 16 . everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Worse. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. © Copyright 2003. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger.

supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change.But then. So. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. did it make you sad. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. and. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. yes. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line.. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen.. For example. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. or determined to make more effort. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. Use two different colours if you like. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. don’t just focus on the negatives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. angry. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. For example. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. joy of joys. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. no one but you is going to see this. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. vulnerable. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. That is a fact to record on the top 17 . Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.

retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. Actually. However. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. as the dawn progresses. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. are funny things. Similarly with our responses to change. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. © Copyright 2003. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. however. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. Obviously. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. no one makes us feel anything. overloaded message units and repressed fears. while another may be much more fatalistic. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with 18 . For example. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. and therefore our feelings. Then. Dawns. our responses to change are individual and personal. The same principle applies to you. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. One may approach it in a positive way. They begin almost imperceptibly. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But as the sun rises. At first. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. Sometimes. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. our thoughts. another to frown and feel aggrieved.

anxiety and emotions. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. For example. remember “dawn” can and will happen. Giving you the feeling of freedom. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Ultimately. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. When this happens. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). Unfortunately. © Copyright 2003. confidence. detailed imprint of what you desire. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. confused or fearful. you are in essence training your mind. If you are starting to feel 19 . you do not need to feel this way. relaxation. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. see the right path. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. given enough time and repetition. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. inept. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. you start to believe it yourself. clumsy. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. apprehension and fear. need or want. however. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. Be absolutely clear about what you want. but will actually consider them an order. even our physical health and well being. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units.

does and will continue to offer you what you need. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject.” So live your life fully.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. then the real fun can start. It’s the life in your years. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. Trust that the Universe has. You will feel stronger. so. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. it is a 20 . realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. If you want a New Beginning. Know that no matter what things might look like. As Abraham Lincoln once said. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. It does make a difference. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. you need to be aware. you are actually living the life you want. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. all of your life. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. mold them and do it over and over again. Guide them. confidence and trust. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. yoga. want and desire. realizing all the possibilities available to you. you always have a choice. with clarity. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. in addition. abundance.achieving prosperity. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust.

There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. our answers are all around us. I truly believe that faith. dolphins . or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no 21 . Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. courage. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to.knowing. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. yellow balloon. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. It is important not to go looking for your sign. © Copyright 2003. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. The problem is that we communicate differently. look and listen. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. engage and listen.

it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. if you ask a physical if they are cold.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. they will answer yes or no. the way we communicate with each other. First. it isn’t. An example would be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is so much more than simple questions. cries. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. however. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. So. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. Communication. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. screams. how they can come apart. It is the physical who yells. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. among other things. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. In relationships. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. opposites really do 22 . I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. and how natural and normal this is. possibly even throws things when angry. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. but E&P affects. enjoys spur of the moment activities. people don’t realize just how true this is. These two types. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. © Copyright 2003. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. whatever when upset.

feelings and emotions onto those we are closest 23 . but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Conversely. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. We heal from physical injuries. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. Since we tend to project our thoughts. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. © Copyright 2003. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. you can see how this could be problematic. they can ruin lives. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You had to be strong. This E&P communication. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. self-confidence. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. Also. Remember though. however is just one part of communication. the more the physical pushes.The same thing occurs when communicating. It becomes a vicious circle. Words have power. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place.

call out for help. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. beautiful heart and so much love to give. find out what you can do. someone will answer. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. Make some calls. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Also. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. each of us. keep your thoughts strong. bad relationship and can keep on going. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. your talent. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. As a matter of fact. by working it. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. this planet needs you. dreams and desires. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. © Copyright 2003. The second step is to take control of your 24 . throughout your life entire life. But you are wrong. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. is powerful beyond belief. This is why “words” do have so much power. You know because I say it over and over again. but not only that. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. Your life depends on it After all. intelligence and compassion. The woman who has come out of a nasty.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. leave. But most of all. Think and dream about your future. The same holds true for what you hear. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. wider and stronger each and every day. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away.

words can destroy you. Vent when you are alone. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. words can hurt you. husband. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. scream and yell and swear all you want. But when you are with someone you care about. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care 25 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And that’s really what venting to another person is. © Copyright 2003.Each of us. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. our child. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Once said they are out there forever. wife.

even into very advanced old age. if we want is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. According to Dr. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. suicidal feelings. Researchers like Dr.D DEPRESSION.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. but in essence they are just like any other habit. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. According to Dr. AND -. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. © Copyright 2003. Miller goes on to stress. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. As research continues in this area. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. and just like any other habit. if this work fulfills its potential. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. however. conditions and illnesses. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. Dr. DIETING. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. Jill Ammon-Wexler. patients will receive treatment based on genetic 26 . No one is born with such a brain -. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. depression. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. thought patterns and thought is created. In addition. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . In fact. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited.

This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. healthy muscles. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. Think about that a moment.use it or lose it. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. © Copyright 2003. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. What it does understand. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. etc. what we say to ourselves.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. “unhappy”. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. “disappointed in my relationships”. I don’t want to be around negative people. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. even more importantly. though. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. NewBeginnings 27 . those interconnections then expand and strengthen. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. I just want to be happy. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. fulfilled life. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. What we think. But if you engage in regular mental workouts.

You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. whether it is physical or emotional. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. including cancer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. heart disease. Fixing one problem can often help the other. When there is negative thinking. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. So.” observes Dr. reflect on the contrary. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. it will continue to go on. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Massachusetts. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. epilepsy. October 18. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Woman’s World. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Take responsibility for your thoughts. Pay attention to what you are 28 ..D. is originating on a deeper. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. with the aid of hypnosis. subconscious level. Ph. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. 100 times more. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Bruce Cohen. 2005. on a subconscious level. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Reflect on the positive. Parkinson’s disease.

Confusing. The truth is. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. especially our young women. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. Part of one study. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. and these are serious issues indeed. Chocolate was bad for you. we are really only getting part of the story. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. people. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. but in addition. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. is bad for you. The first diet included six small meals a day. it seems as if all the doctors. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. First we were told that fat. especially in the United States. and of course. And throughout all of 29 . then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. we just don’t want to do it. © Copyright 2003. any kind of fat. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. according to the New York Times. the second diet was only three meals a day. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. particularly among our young people. test or theory. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. never a comparison with all the other studies. then we were told maybe it isn’t. now again we are hearing. diet and weight. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. When most of us think about diet and weight.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. sometimes to death. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia.

Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. As we live our lives. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. satisfaction. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. Releasing negative thoughts. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat 30 . Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. it can include abandonment issues. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain….When a client contacts me about a weight issue. weight issues are rarely just about weight. Knowledge is indeed power. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. both emotional and physical. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. one of the first things I tell them is. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. by taking control of our thoughts. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. Just as with any weight. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. With the internet available to all of us. and getting the right kind of support and advice. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. confidence or happiness. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. a lack of fulfillment. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. In fact.

. take control of your thoughts and change your life. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. So wonderful. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. I keep going back to this one phrase. Look at yourself. what do you think about. © Copyright 2003. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. This is. that we keep going back to 31 . You can continue the work on your own. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems.Knowledge. what do you see. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. in fact. If you don’t like it. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. though is not just about external fact.e. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. though just an Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. what does your world look like. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. observe how you feel. fear. i.

fear.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). addictions and phobias. Not a hypothetical path. posttraumatic stress disorder. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. including depression. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think 32 . a negative experience itself. ENERGY. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. As I’ve written before. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. has no value of its own. EMOTIONS. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. any negative experience. general stress. © Copyright 2003. depression. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. anxiety. anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”.

the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. With or without hypnosis. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. © Copyright 2003. In addition. EFT can help with both the 33 . If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. With regard to addictions. understanding the negative experience is not enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. do not use self-hypnosis. weight loss to pain and illness. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. As stated earlier. war trauma or severe physical illness. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. to addiction. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. Remember. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. deprivation. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. and more importantly. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. emptiness and anxiety. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful.

Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. but our physical health as well. By forgiving.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. It can even be linked to suicide. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. resentment. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. For example. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. meditation. even more importantly. hostility. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. Likewise. Ryke Geerd Hamer. accidents and increased workplace injuries. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. One such study by Dr. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. hurt and unforgiveness. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried 34 . hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. hurt.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. etc.specifically. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. exposure to toxic substances. but it is not. In most cases of cancer. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. In addition to nurturing your mind. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. etc). keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. that we are out of balance. whole grains. seems somewhat 35 . The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. pathogens. such as genetics. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. white flour. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. it prevents depression. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. vaccines. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). diet. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. Throughout this book you will find theories. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease.

While listening to your hypnotherapist. but balance will return. © Copyright 2003. your mind and body relax more and more 36 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagery. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life.who have the ability to relax more fully. Hypnosis can help you. or an inability to let go and just relax. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. stress. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. So. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique.

Their phytonutrients .F FABULOUS. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. try counting the chews in each bite. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. FEAR. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Increase your intake of fish. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. primary by reducing the inflammation. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. Drink more water. whole grains. until the food becomes liquid. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. Fruits and vegetables and spices.carotenoids in carrots. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. which as we know reduce inflammation. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. safflower and vegetable oils. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. FOCUS. The indigestible parts of fruits. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. © Copyright 2003. Healthy fats. soy. Chew properly. 2. 37 . aiming for 30 to 50 times. Eat the right foods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. garlic liberally. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. turmeric. Fiber.

When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Detox. Regular exercise should make you sweat. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. Pesticides. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. 4. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. our skin. our tissues.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss.) If under pressure at meals. take deep breaths. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. our organs. Eat homemade food. Our blood is what creates our cells. our hair. 3. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. But breathing is also effective. 5. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. which creates less gas. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. chemicals from manufacturing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Detox is a relative term. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Losing weight gradually . our brains and our thoughts and feelings. As a matter of fact. Any form of exercise helps. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic 38 . It relaxes and detoxifies your body. Sweat – cleans up your system. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. Breathe. The solution: Sweat. but so will saunas and hot baths. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. 6. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. chew.

consists of slow. diary products. Have sex. hydrogenated fats. meats. focused. fats. Take the laughter yoga class. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. improving your healthy well-being. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . relaxes your body. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. 10. refined flours. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. our relationships. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. 9. Even if you can’t tell a joke. Tai chi -moving meditation . mix and put on your face for 15 minutes .journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. 7. our jobs. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. boost is delicious. Have a home-made facial. grains. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. I call it facial meditation. you sure can laugh at one. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Laugh. 8. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. etc. fried foods. © Copyright 2003. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. bread. and improve overall health. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. Yoga poses reduce stress 39 .

But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. or even worse. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. healthy and joyous life you 40 . For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. a short while. mood swings. it keeps us from making a big mistake. fear of success.naturalcounselor. though. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. FEAR: fear of change. that one thing. fear of and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. one thing seems to come up most frequently. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. what we expect. That one thing is FEAR. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. insomnia or lack of energy. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia.

afraid of disappointment. get out your list and read it again. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. As children we were free to play. Be honest. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. have a reasonably happy life. in order to be an adult. career and health because you are afraid of failing. 2. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. for the most part. When you have specific. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. as we grew older. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. Your goals must be your very own. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. write down your goals and if you did write them down. we have chosen.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. and life just gets better and better. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. We were told to grow up. the more vibrant and alive we 41 . pretend and let our imaginations soar. instead. and grow up. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. the world of adults. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. This is wrong. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. Something that is important to you right now. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. If you haven’t done so already. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. relationships. But. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. the more connected we feel. People without strong desires slowly whither away. friends and lovers live this kind of life. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. © Copyright 2003. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). we were told to leave those dreams behind. we are afraid to dream. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have.

Use them. crying and so on. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Sometimes. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the 42 . you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. Focus. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. push yourself to ask for help now. FOCUS Look around you. life coach or whomever and ask for support.3. doing something together. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. laughing. breathing things. As an example. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. even though we would gladly give it if asked. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. When you say your affirmations out loud. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. 5. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. if your goal is to run a marathon. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. 4. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. a powerful tool. You know. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. Remember the Power of Affirmations. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. though. parent. it’s hard to focus. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in.

interpersonal and relationship problems. negative or neutral to our mental.taste. psychological imbalances. smell and hearing. confront the situation as needed. © Copyright 2003. The subconscious processes everything. whether asleep or awake. forgive and accept forgiveness. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. our subconscious is able to do this for us. recorded on brain and body cells. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. and its effects may be positive. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. affirmative statements. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. though. though. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. During the course of a day. Over time. resentment or anger. sight. This is commonly referred to as memory. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. that release. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. It disables your emotional resources. success and fulfillment. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. it still exists in our subconscious. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing 43 . touch. you are bombarded with millions of message units.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Luckily. health. When we go through periods of stress. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. physical and emotional well-being.

By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. 4. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to 44 . laughter and perspiration. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. They are also © Copyright 2003. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. tears. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. fear and anxiety. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. Even when we sleep long hours. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. 6.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. 5. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. existing situation. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Once learned. During the Releasing session. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. This not only applies to a current. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. 2. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. anger. 3.

The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. disappointment. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour).net 45 . the Releaser is asked to state.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time.” 7. function as a computer operator. and feeling great. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. including health care professionals and clergy. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. etc. once learned.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. as a Soul. can be done alone. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. “I release (relevant emotions. As people from all backgrounds.). however. sadness. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. and your body and life are the printout. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. such as anger. the brain is your biological computer. 8. © Copyright 2003. have learned. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed.

Without goals. Sometimes. I don’t know about you. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. thoughts and ideas. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. You choose what you want in your life. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. “I don’t know what I want. A state of being is not an emotion. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. If you think about anger. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of 46 . not only does life get depressing. something that is crucial to goal setting. an activity or a thing. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. a diversion to keep life interesting. not really happy. After you’ve done this. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. We find ourselves drifting along. though. A really simple way to test this theory is this. take the color blue for example. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. whether it is an emotion. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Conversely. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. Think of it as a game. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. if you think about a color. your current life situation.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. Not only in your own relationships. Each of us is already whole. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. fun. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. meaningful and exciting. This same principle works the same way for emotions.

With a SMART goal and these suggestions. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. responsible.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. it would be a boring and scary world. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. sometime weekly. not if you want to improve your life. Don’t forget about free will. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. He’s got free will just as we all 47 . keeps us feeling alive. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. they will never be overwhelming. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. © Copyright 2003. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. simple Measurable. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. But you can’t manifest everything you want. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. Adjustments are a good thing. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. it just means you make an adjustment. change is the whole point. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). If you do this regularly. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. doesn’t mean I can have him.

The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.Remember. set those goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. 48 . © Copyright 2003.

As David Spiegel. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level.. lower blood pressure. © Copyright 2003. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis.H HEALING. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. speed up healing after surgery. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state.D. It can help relieve pain. and help strengthen the immune system. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. Working from the inside out. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. In a pilot study published in 1999. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Ph. visualization and positive suggestions. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. turning some functions on and others off. by using specific. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. relieve depression and so much 49 . imagery. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. releasing negative thoughts. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production.

must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. Arreed Barabasz. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . The suggestions. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they 50 .It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. Every 15 minutes. During the operation. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. that’s because it is. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. in terms of levels of pain.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. empathic care provider and hypnosis. anxiety and the need for painkillers. © Copyright 2003. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. soothing kind of treatment. and the third received standard care. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. though. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed.

If you think you are seeing color. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. the hypnotized patients used less medication. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. A journey that you can now control. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. which could account for heightened attention. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. psychologists say. involving more than 330 patients. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. realizing all the possibilities available to you. On average. While in the trance.” says Spiegel. “It’s not just a fantasy. And this list goes on and on. experienced less pain. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. you actually see it.” Using imaging technology. then the real fun can start. Once again. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. the brain’s manager and planner. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. In effect.The results of the study were published in The Lancet.” says Marc Schoen. Spiegel and Lang found. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study 51 .

My purpose is to help them 52 . hurt. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. Problems that we encounter every single day. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. Some little problem or some big problem. Each incident throughout the day affects us. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. It’s all right there inside their subconscious.jealously. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. We have to cope with irritating. stress. though. All life starts as a spark. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. tension and minor frustrations. you can do this exercise while awake. we each have to deal with something. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. Sometimes. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. resentment. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. unpleasant. fear. © Copyright 2003. hurt. As we each move through life. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Try it once and feel the results. rude or just plain nasty people. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. this spark can grow a little dim. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. When I say fuel. With a bit of practice.

Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. but the results will amaze and delight you. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden 53 . The more visual and real you make your goal. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. According to Stephen Kosslyn. feel or react. euphoria and control of your life again. comfort.” Using hypnosis. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. you will feel refreshed. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. not only will you feel better immediately. you create a vivid. © Copyright 2003. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. relaxed. more positive thoughts. a professor of psychology at Harvard. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. anything at all about yourself. If there is anything in your world. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. Try hypnosis. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. Some pleasant. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. however. As a result. and much better about yourself. clarity. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. every message unit.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious.

good or bad. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. www. who I especially admire. The brain is simply another organ in your body. and change your life . As stated in Woman’s World. More and more doctors as well as patients. heal your body. Your ability to overcome 54 . build self-confidence. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. fixing a problem in one place. However. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. what we say to ourselves. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. What we experience as feelings. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Never. etc. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy.cheryloneil. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. depressed © Copyright 2003. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. can often help the other. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.” Cheryl O’Neil. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. mend your ways.I IMAGERY. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. etc. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. feel more loved. September 26. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. once Cheryl is talking about imagery. create passionate relationships. 2006. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts.. Conversely. fear or confidence.” What we think. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. failure or success. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. boost your determined by the thoughts you think. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. Simply put.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Self Esteem. Meditation. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. “What we think about we bring about. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Private & Group Coaching. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. use a deck of cards.qualifiedlifecoach. Motivation. Law of Attraction. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. Abundance. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Another way I practice is with elevators. You know that saying. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business 58 . © Copyright 2003. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. You rise above thinking in mediation. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. 98% of the time I am right. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The fourth part is training your mind. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.

delusions. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. no matter what that entails. in control of yourself and your partner. It is essential to communicate clearly. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. enjoy their life. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. succeed. and grow. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. You want to see them become more of who they are. you may go into a rage. You feel violated. You want to stop what you are feeling. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. and if so. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. You are angry. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. You want revenge. If you can cool down. Often. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should 59 . What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. That’s the truth of love. projections. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. envy. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast.

you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. If your relationship is based on Attachment. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. you cannot. If you can do this. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. not within the relationship. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Jealousy is like an onion. © Copyright 2003. You can give yourself the gift. If you move inward and look at yourself. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. It does not. the jealousy resides within you. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. you cannot make a person love 60 . Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship.

the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. really look and analyze them. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. Look at the reality. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. It is their own. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. We think that we should be able to rise above it. This is projecting. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. the truth behind what you are feeling. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Another layer is projection. The truth is that for most of us. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. you can reach self-awareness. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. These all grow out of expectation. Look at your beliefs. there is nothing to feel guilty about. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. we find envy. Going down to an even deeper layer. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Another layer can be guilt. You do not own it. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. guilt or anger. envy. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Projection. This insight. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at 61 . Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. This is natural and normal. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your.

With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of 62 . Once you release the anger. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. and let that be who you are. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Perhaps you fear abandonment. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. You do not need to experience jealously. look deep within yourself at these feelings. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. Hypnosis can help. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. but attachment. they still don’t meet your expectations. When you love. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. If you love someone. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. our childhood. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. frequently they are not real. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You become vulnerable.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. You can choose to move away from those feelings. fear of being alone. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. let that guide you. © Copyright 2003. you become yourself possessed. you can watch that love radiate out for all. Fear of loss. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. fear of not being worthy of love. If you are experiencing jealously. the resentment and the hurt. When you attempt to possess another person. Open your heart and mind to it. If you find yourself doing this. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. then what you are experiencing is not love. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. By looking deep within. They come from our past. Surrender to it.

net 63 . but generally the concept is basically the same. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. or alternatively. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. all of which determine our future. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. Just a thought. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Jain. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. There is no judgment involved. if you prefer. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. present and future and because of this. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Most people © Copyright 2003. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes.K KARMA.

Fate implies no choice. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. Step in. © Copyright 2003. which is a huge component of the human psyche. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your 64 . but fate makes no allowance for free will.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. As stated above. saint or seer. participate and change the direction you are heading. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. In the belief systems of many cultures. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In the Shang dynasty in China. fate and destiny are not the same. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. If you are not satisfied with your life. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman.associate Destiny with fate. prophet. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here.

” It’s about where you put your focus. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. is a good analogy. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. The concept of the law of attraction is. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. LIFE. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. start by writing it 65 .L LAW OF ATTRACTION. LOVE. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. “What you think about will happen in your life. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. What ever it is.00 a year income. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. The old saying. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. For example. “Let the chips fall where they may”.000. © Copyright 2003. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. that can help you with exactly that. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250.

etc. I promise you it will show up. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. talk to those people.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. You have made it clear. There is something there to be learned or gained. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. You asked for what you wanted. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. now grab it. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities 66 . If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. Now that you have set this up. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. you then attracted it. don’t panic. pay attention. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. pay attention to what happens next. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. allowing it to happen is vital. Now the key here is to follow up with this. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back.

www. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. You 67 .GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. She told him something I want to share with all of you. The sooner we realize and accept that. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money.qualifiedlifecoach. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. tele-classes and resources are offered. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. Individual Coaching. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. who has no idea that she is. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. you used them to learn about yourself. We cannot make everything nice and neat and maybe © Copyright 2003. So live your a different package. Go to my web site for more information. life is messy.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. Group Coaching. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. she said “You didn’t waste those years. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. a very wise woman. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. originally thought of. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. It is never wasted and it is never lost. that is the Universe telling you go…. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. Not only that.” And I realized as she told me this. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.

Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. dating. then. trust . Definition: To pity.” When we talk about compassion. The message really is that you need to be in love with 68 . often including a desire to help. some which I like and others not so much. you are perfect. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. First. © Copyright 2003. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. all kinds of love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. living this life to experience love. t. com·pas·sion. never have. romance. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. v. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. I was reminded recently. [Obs. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. A noun.] Shak. healing. sex. married or alone. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). but yes. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. I’m not sure why exactly. partnered. I know. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. compassion and faith.

where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. in the process. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. measurable phenomenon. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. then maybe. one that you can get behind. My only question to your would be this. someone around you. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. Instead of listening to that old record. work with or just come into contact with. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. and.Another thing that is so important to remember. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. can start to love themselves as well. nobody can make it for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. heal others and yourself. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. places or events that you attract for one reason for another.K. with all their faults. Give yourself a break. © Copyright 2003. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. those we live with. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). then someone else. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. as well. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that 69 . that negative voice in your head. Luck is a real. lazy or self-indulgent.

not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. or even make the depression worse.e. This can make treatment especially difficult. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. And yet. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. As Dr. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. During the past 50 years. 70 .” Michael Craig Miller. 2007 article. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. and so do the ideal treatments. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence.D. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. “Depression may look like a single disease. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the depression and the cause of that depression. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help.M MALE DEPRESSION. In the past. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article.. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. certainly not for a real man. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. February 26. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. Depression can manifest in many different forms. with all these statistics facing us. (Harvard Medical School). but the underlying causes vary. sex. In addition.

smooth and without bumps or potholes. fear or anger that you are experiencing. This is not easy. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. resentment. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. Working from the inside out. Hallowell. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. There are detours that we must 71 . there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. As I quote above. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. Woman’s World. When you release the hurt. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Edward M. hurt. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. you take back control of your own life. without help.D. As Dr. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. Using © Copyright 2003. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. difficult and painful process. however. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. Sometimes. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. love and happiness beyond measure. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. the healing process. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. When you recognize that this is occurring. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. helping you regain strong mental-health.. With the aid of hypnotherapy. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. 2005. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. guilt and depression. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. bitterness. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. fear. Ph. During the course of this journey and these detours. without wanting or meaning to. October 18.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. When this occurs.

pathogens. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. With the help of 20. Ryke Geerd Hamer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. alcoholism. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide.000 brain scans. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. drug abuse and depression. eating disorders. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. including diet. In addition. but our physical body as well. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. resentment.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. can lead to serious food 72 . immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. meditation. This has been proven by Dr. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. a German physician. hostility. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Holding onto anger. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. hurt.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. © Copyright 2003. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Dr.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. I have been there and there is a way out. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. and this applies to any negative emotion. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. vaccines. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.D. but to your thoughts as well. Meditation works. whole grains. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. etc). Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. Success is largely an inner game. thought or image. Success is a process of continually learning new information. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. anger is what you will bring into your life. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. and © Copyright 2003. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. It requires that you develop a success mind. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Ph. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. white flour. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. use it and use it frequently. guide them in a positive direction. yoga can help. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. keeping track of what is working and what is not.exposure to toxic substances. if you focus on anger. This is a way of 73 . I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. In addition to nurturing your mind. etc. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Believe me.

fear of what other people will think. Gather new information. fear of failure. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. the less we fear them. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. conditioning. and keep moving forward. hardship. you simply need to start. exploring one more option or opportunity. and failure. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. or successful businessperson. Fear of change. While success requires action. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. inventor. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. see unlimited possibilities. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to 74 . generate new ideas. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. The success mind trains itself to ask. possibility is in the dreaming. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. Yet. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. Take action. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. make adjustments along the way.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. This is one of the laws of success. if you talk to any star athlete. You will have to change to be successful. foster creativity. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). fear of hard work. fear that we are not good enough. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. © Copyright 2003. and create new realities. Take time to dream. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. but also change the world. Develop a process to examine your fears. learn from your mistakes. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success.

and grow. your feelings. Your thoughts. challenge. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. adventure. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. think. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. your world and your success. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. As you do this. Mental toughness. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. Remember. Question. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. create. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. experience. The time to begin is now. It is never too late to develop your success mind. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. You continue to grow. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. your actions. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. and success. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and 75 . This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. When you say yes. Not simply because you say yes. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. form opinions. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. But once you say no to an opportunity. try on new perspectives. you likely will feel fear. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003.

She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Dream big and take consistent.molliemarti. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail.D. © Copyright 2003. directed. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.D. Visit her at www. is President of Best Life Design.. and healthier lives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. Stop caring what other people think. for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. make corrections. J. Mollie Marti. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. lawyer. Ph. and smart action. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.success and rewards your 76 . redirect the effort. performance or www.bestlifedesign. engage again and refuse to quit. mediator. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. better. happier.

Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. and interpersonal 77 . Robert Dilts.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. however. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. John Grinder. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). management training. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. Unfortunately. There is. However. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. sales. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. sports. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). linguistics and computer science. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. © Copyright 2003. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. occurrence. Whether it makes us happy or sad. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. health healing. growth. remember that red not only represents life force.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. Use it for minor headaches. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. fire. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. activity. use Yellow) money. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. You have the power to change your perception. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. © Copyright 2003. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. think we are making progress or stagnating. Also. red would probably not be the best color to use. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the 81 . it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to.

Once you have faced your phobia. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. By the time your therapist is done. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. it can make your life almost unbearable. this power. Depending on the phobia. Perception is a powerful thing. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. but it is not a gift at all. though. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are suffering from a phobia. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. this is how it works. It can be done in person and over the phone. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. © Copyright 2003. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Take control. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. there will be no emotional response. But the results tend to be permanent. Basically. You are then taken back to the phobia again. control it and use it 82 . take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. Sometimes. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Relief is truly immediate. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal.

net 83 . Frequently they are a result of fear. joyful and full life filled with love. Marti. even fear of success. fear of failure. Fear of change.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Poverty is a way of living and thinking.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. you will enjoy them immensely. and not just a lack of money or things. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. fulfillment and yes. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. fun. however. money as well. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. both written by Dr. thinking and dreaming. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. it may be necessary to make some changes. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Mollie W. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. In order to accomplish this. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. happiness. and not just money or things. © Copyright 2003. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. prosperity includes a rich. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life.

separate from us. However real and external these images may seem. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. not the other way around. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. as I started to research this a bit. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. and hear it. hear. standing as a physical world. touch it. Time. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. Supersymmetry. M-Theory. they are all phenomena within the mind. touch. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. however. © Copyright 2003. Quantum Gravity. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. and tangible. around us. taste. Grand Unified Theory. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. smell. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). Schroedinger’s Cat. external universe. In the dream it all seems very real. utterly real. instead. String Theory. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. independent and apart from us. It appears undeniably to be out there. We can see it. Superstring Theory. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. because what was a mechanical. solid. in addition. the Copenhagen Interpretation. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. EPR Paradox. in about three or four paragraphs! So. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. Loop Quantum Gravity. space. Unified Field Theory. They exist within consciousness. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any 84 . Theory of Everything.

Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to 85 . your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. huh? So. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. and there’s only one real way to do that. Cool. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.So. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.

It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. RELEASING. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. © Copyright 2003. In addition. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. if you are not. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. how they can come apart. possibly even throws things when angry. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved.R RELATIONSHIPS. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. Unfortunately. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. read on. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. First. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. However. These two distinct types. cries or screams when upset. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. It is the physical who 86 . The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. congratulations. our behavior patterns. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do.

on the other hand. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. the relationship is of primary importance to her. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. So he starts spending more time at work. The emotional. With the physical female. is quite a bit different. When I say E&P attraction. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. After all. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. longer hours at the office. In relationships. what the priorities of each are. outgoing. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. then hobbies. Next would be their children. he cannot understand why. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. For the physical. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional 87 . And boy do they do relate. She on the other hand. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. I really do mean attraction. When they first meet. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. And that’s a good thing. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. But let’s look into the future several months. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. Let’s cover very briefly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. Their first priority is their career. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. his career. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. To her partner it is his career. This is natural. She is happy. secure and © Copyright 2003. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. When his partner complains that they never see each other.

Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. to get clear on your goals for the future. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. This is done through imagery and suggestion. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. releasing occurs naturally. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. With communication you can understand each other. Interestingly enough. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. © Copyright 2003.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. When you understand how the other thinks. Remember. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. 88 . This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. What can be done about this. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. sadness. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. When we are healthy and balanced. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. Sometimes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Release anger. fear and guilt. communication is key to any successful relationship. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. The process is quick. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. Plenty.

They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. hurt. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive 89 . Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. physical. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. If your subconscious is ready. positive thoughts. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. body and emotions. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. That may been all you need at this time. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Both techniques are effective. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. unpredictability and lack of control. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. use your downloadable sessions first. and emotional states. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. fears.D. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. process and recall information. Negative expectations. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. doubts. anger. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. Ph. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through.

You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use 90 . So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. It’s going to be a gloomy. Many rituals are quite simple. “It’s gray and cloudy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. For example. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. make a choice to expect positive results. As you spend energy during the day. You give energy away to other people. As you add them to your day. to your computer. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. You wake up and your first thought might be. taking in a deep breathe. and in countless other interactions. each and every day. boring day. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. You spend mental. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. you are ready for it.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. Rest is any activity. reading a book. over the telephone. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Rather. in and of © Copyright 2003. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. build in ways to recoup your energy. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. Think and say.

it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. and discarding the emotion. frustration. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. linking it with a unique physical action. guilt. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. When you carry negative emotions like fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are less able to concentrate on your task. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. after working at your computer for an hour.itself. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. rhythmic breathing. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. You’ve © Copyright 2003. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost 91 . How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. anger. nervousness. fatigue. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. Influence Management: Before any performance. which is pleasurable and restorative. For example. After a 90-minute presentation. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. and anxiety.

simply applied a band-aid. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point .net 92 . body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. Before you perform. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. such as a doorframe. “OK. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. Any time you get distracted. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but when it came time to start. As I cross the line. . If you travel. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. I “turn on” my full engagement. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. If you are in your office or in a conference room. prior to a presentation or meeting. a piece of art. A tangible engagement cue. consciously look at your focal point. It immediately precedes the performance and says. This leads to a less than stellar performance. even if it is a good thing. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. She chose a cloud as her focal point. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. For example. . it also had drifted off. works well. © Copyright 2003. body and emotions that it is time to perform. As you travel or perform in different locations. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. I image a red line on the floor. or a clock on the wall. try to use the same type of focal point. back to my task. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. you might choose a banner. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. can be viewed as a distraction. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. Yet.

© Copyright 2003. Visit her at www. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. and healthier lives. happier. successful entrepreneur.D.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This means that if you get away from your rituals. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. including caffeine and adrenaline. mediator. J. performance coach. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. lawyer. is President of Best Life Design. better. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. It will throw you off.bestlifedesign. Mollie or www. it won’t feel right. alcohol. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Ph. As part of this 93 . you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. Inc. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. If you cannot identify your rituals.. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. concentration. they will provide great consistency.D. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.molliemarti. and success. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. depression. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. fear. mustard greens. You need eat more avocados. etc. seafood. exhaustion. garlic. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. kelp. oats. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. depression. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Almonds. bananas. Unfortunately. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. apples. prunes. salmon. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. sesame seeds. brown rice. worry. apricots. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. irritability. causing irritability and nervousness. blood sugar fluctuations. broccoli. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. cabbage. Calcium. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. leafy vegetables. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. fish. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Vitamin B6. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined 97 . Vitamin B12. impatience. moodiness and nervousness. kale. such as hormonal be one of the first things that goes. © Copyright 2003. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. chronic fatigue. asparagus. irritability. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger.

or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. green leafy vegetables. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. tuna and whole grains. mood swings.naturalcounselor. insomnia or lack of energy. nobody will. brown rice.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. root vegetables (such as potatoes. who will take care of our children. but if something happens to 98 . We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and © Copyright 2003. salmon. Sing. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. Start squeezing something. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. barley. you must who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite.Folic acid. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. a founder of NaturalCounselor. carrots and turnips). though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. legumes. our cortisol levels drop. oranges. dates. I know mine always have been). For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. our family? So let us be stress smart. oatmeal. such as a squishy ball. mushrooms. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Walk. Squeeze a squishy ball. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Bottom line though. Kiss. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Call a friend. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. to work away your tension. lentils. In addition.

net 99 . If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. but to the energy of the present moment. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. If you understand that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). a feeling. if you are having a problem with money. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. If you wake up today focusing on debt. Energy is constantly in motion. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. According to the laws of physics. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. If you wake up today affirming an illness. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. I know I have. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. because you cannot stand still. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. You think about the future and you tighten up even more.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. I used to feel that way often. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. For example.

During the sessions. meanwhile. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. In a follow-up experiment published last year. really.. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming 100 . Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. and elastic. It is only important that it does. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. smooth. Hypnosis.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. Ph. You don’t have to create change. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. You need to make room for change. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson.D.” So. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck.” Ginandes says. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. And. our results suggest. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. © Copyright 2003. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have.D. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. for most people. it doesn’t matter why it works. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. for example. Pain sufferers. the truth is.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. In a pilot study published in 1999. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. can influence the body to heal itself. Ph. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again.

you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. © Copyright 2003. There is no correct answers. your love and your joy. Remember. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Take your time with this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. When you have determined the directions of past and future. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Remember. Take responsibility for your life and direction. to the left or to the right. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. for you happiness and your abundance. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. If it’s behind 101 . You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. look down on the Time Line. it is what feels best for you. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event.

bad things just happen. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can 102 . all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Sometimes what you need. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. © Copyright 2003. I’d like you to consider another alternative. You procrastinated. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. You need them to tell you to be strong. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). It can look that way to others. you stuck by the wrong person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. It might not have looked that way to others. you made a mistake. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. Without getting specific about each of them. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. even if they cannot give it back. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love.

one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. Picture yourself at age 80. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. you need to define what it is you want. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. another may practice Hinduism. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. 90. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. © Copyright 2003. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 85. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Spirituality. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. while another may be a Wiccan. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. etc. VICTIMHOOD. First. whatever feels 103 .

Perhaps you are abused. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. What areas cause you regret. is you. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Remember. © Copyright 2003. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. then you’ve got a problem. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. you will certainly feel violated. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or even the perceptions of our family. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different.Now think back over your life. What you might think is wrong. Think about all the value areas of your life. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. mugged or even raped. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. but not only 104 . frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. friends. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Something very unpleasant. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. then your perception makes it right. You might get angry. If it is what you believe. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. However. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. are you really meant to be together. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. Figure it out early. church and society. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other.

. for what you do and what you say. and society actually encourages this thought. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. however. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. A rather sad. And. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. it means you are not responsible for anything. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. etc. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the 105 . A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. my mother didn’t understand me. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from.. Here in the U. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. my wife doesn’t understand me. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. Life. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me.” But. etc. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. happiness and joy available to each of us. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. etc. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim.S. my kids don’t show me any respect. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. But just take a moment now and really think about it. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. my husband ignores me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. my friends don’t understand me. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. my mother didn’t give me enough love. It wasn’t fun. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. But now. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect.I want you to consider something.

each of us. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. boost your mood. September 106 . Simply.who you are. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. is powerful beyond belief. build self-confidence. As stated in Woman’s World. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. etc.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. 2006. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. If we take back control. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected.. If that is taken away from us . We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. can often help the other. etc. Fixing a problem in one place though. You had to be strong. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. it is the ability to enjoy life. we lose everything. For example.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. beautiful heart and so much love to give. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. please. feel more loved. never © Copyright 2003. eventually. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. The woman who has come out of a nasty. bad relationship and can keep on going. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. Remember.

this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. increase your self-confidence. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Is essence. can change how your feel. Use the power of your mind. depressed or negative. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relieve pain. your imagination.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. © Copyright 2003. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live 107 . what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. If you are feeling down. So.

First one. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. scientists. Not only that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. If. diet and weight. Confusing.e. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. alcohol. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. 5. before facts have actually been verified. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. bleached flour. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. the only diet that had ever worked for them. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? 108 . I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. refined. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. included six small meals a day. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. etc.) 3.W WEIGHT. it’s good again. however. The truth is. 4. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. WORDS..

Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Has your mother. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 109 . what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14.6. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Do you associate a person. 19. 17. 9. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 18. © Copyright 2003. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 8. 7. 20. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 10.

Abuse victims. You had to be strong. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. a lack of fulfillment. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You know © Copyright 2003. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you know that as strange as it may sound. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. they include abandonment issues. survivors. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. self-confidence. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. WRONG! Words have power. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. having said all that. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. satisfaction. More often than not. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. by working it. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. confidence and 110 .Now. We heal from physical injuries.

But you are wrong. Once said they are out there forever. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. Make some calls. someone will answer. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. dreams and desires. lover. this planet needs you. throughout your life entire life. wife. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. keep your thoughts strong. As a matter of fact. call out for help. scream and yell and swear all you want. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. The same holds true for what you hear. This is why “words” do have so much power. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. And that’s what venting to another is. Your life depends on it After all. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. find out what you can do. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. I have to say this. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. When this occurs. intelligence and compassion. wider and stronger each and every day. your talent. Think and dream about your future. But most of all. husband. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Also. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. words can hurt you. And for each of us.because I say it over and over again. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. but not only that. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. Vent when you are 111 . But when you are with someone you care about. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003.

can help. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you do not feel ready for that. © Copyright 2003. much like arthritis in wet weather. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. or. However. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of 112 . you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. especially in interpersonal situations.withdraw into ourselves. If you can do this. when things are going smoothly. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. Releasing sessions can work well with these. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.

Before you make that decision. DRINKER. Notice how you feel. clear and easy breathing. BINGER ETC. Once you decide that you want to quit. Wait 10-20 seconds. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Of these two possible futures in your life. are you now sure which one you want. your energy will flow in that direction. NewBeginnings 113 . the decision becomes easy. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Make a promise to yourself. drinker. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. very clearly. You can choose to live your life. Notice what you see. vital. Wait 10-20 seconds. © Copyright 2003. Whatever it is. Make a commitment and a decision. what is different and better. And now let those images fade completely away. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. the body you want. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. When you have done this. drinking.X X SMOKER. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. energy. vibrant. What do you look like. binger or whatever. you have a decision to make. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. strong. doesn’t it?. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. clear skin. healthy.

your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. When you first begin to work your muscles. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. For instance. it does not mean you will receive it. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. Everything in life is a choice. joy. a better job. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. NewBeginnings 114 . © Copyright 2003. happiness. you can only lift a small amount of weight. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are your life script. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. success. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. Compare it to strength training. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. So. you may never receive it. In making a choice. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. your entire belief system. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. you always have a choice. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice.

it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 115 . It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. looking around. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are.According to To me. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list.hollygleason. check it regularly. check it out at www. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. © Copyright 2003. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.

And always remember 116 . or ideal. An antonym is apathy. cause. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal and the determination to further that person. please do it with zeal and without apathy. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. fight for your dreams and your goals. intensity and passion. it means a diligent enthusiasm. cause.

This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. While you are doing these three karate chops. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.” and the “sore 117 . Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. There are 15 points.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times.” “gamut spot. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. You can also visualize this word in your mind. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. To make this even more effective. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.

Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 7. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 12. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.” © Copyright 2003. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 2. fear.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 3.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. anxiety. Do what feels right for you. 6. This is not a sentence. 10. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. You can go through the tapping process several times. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. or DEPRESSED. 8. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. or AFRAID. 9. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. but do each issue separately. 5. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. or anything you want changed. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 4. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering 118 . 11. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you can use just one or two words.

net 119 .” And that’s all there is to it. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. And as your heart fire increases. hurt. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. By burning away all anger and negativity. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. And as your heart fire increases. you open all pathways to love. I love myself. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. resentment or negativity away. uncross your arms and legs. emotions. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. your connection with yourself is complete. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. ideas and beliefs within yourself. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. © Copyright 2003. you also release all negative thoughts. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. As you do this. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. feelings.

glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. taking this time right now for myself. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. smell the salt. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. If another color comes to mind. smell it. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. allow that color to flow in and out as well. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4.e. heal yourself and relax yourself. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. months or even years to be released. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. see the image). cleansing breath in and let it out. Then imagine or visualize white granules. 120 . letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. weeks. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. hours. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. Take yourself fully into this place.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. at the beach. anyplace. See it. like salt. If you feel like it and have the time. hear it (i. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. Then when you are ready. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. hear the waves and the birds. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind.

© Copyright 2003. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. You are in charge of your healing and your life.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. thoughts and feelings. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Let go of all tightness within you. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. yourself. my guy and I are in love. or whatever it is your desire. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. happy and having fun together. You are in control and in charge of your body. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. activity. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to 121 . emotions. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Here’s my snapshot.

I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. © Copyright 2003. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I choose to forget past mistakes now. live in the moment and dream in the future.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I say to myself RANCH. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. positive delightful reality. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. I vibrate with positive 122 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. With my thoughts I create my new. I keep saying ranch until that image.

6... 95.. 36... 6... 60.. 78 chronic pain . 81...... 119..... 130 epilepsy .....58 choice2. 113 Abraham Hicks . 76... 23..........D... 116 Bereavement ... 35......... 66....... 60..... 8. 32. 110. 7 attraction . 97.. 96.. 47. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross . 129.... 78 forgiveness.... 21...2.... 8...... 77...... 128 anxiety 7.. 83.. 46........ 7.. 23.... 103. 35....... 122 chronic anger .. 106....... 88. 59......... 95......... 58.... 42.. 87..... 44.. 35..... 94........125 anger .... 105.......... 76. 44.. 94.. 97.... 78....... 54.. 38.. 97..... 22. 39. 125 energy ....... 32. 58... 130 focus...... 78 alternative programs .. 35.... 36..... 55 emotional freedom technique ..86 Circle Therapy .. 44............... 7...... 2.... i . 5... 33... 73. 78. 46..... 34. 117.... 36....... Ph..... 89.. 126......54 association ......... 3.... 6. 47... 109.7... 5. 76. 47. 37......7....... 81... 21 David Spiegel......................... 93.... 71.... 35... 116.....5.... 27.. 73 depression . 127.. 36.. 44.. 45..... 127. 9..5. 57... 88............. 71... 78 EFT . 6.. 81........88 clarity 9.. 42........3.. 74. 5.. 55 Dawn Abraham .. 5.... 89 balance .... 50. 21. 6. 91. 24. 114.. 5....... 104.. 36............30.... 99...... 65.. 74... 31..... 44. 61...... 63............ 5.. 89...... 89.. 121. 28.. 6. 23...... 12...... 3 Alzheimer’s .... 79. 60.... 32....2..... 76 desire. 112 compassion ... 18.... 30........ 114....... 38... 43..... 54.. 32... .......... 104.... 98.. 125........Index 12-step programs ...... 29...... 27...38..... 79.. 76....... 63........ 102.. 91..... 94... 114......... 96..... 26.. 106......... 28.... 50.. 35.. 104... 126 adrenalin .........24.... 119...... 62. 70.. 27.. 79... 35. 43.... 109.. 57........ 56. 21.53..... 21.. 30...... 72. 38.. 21............ 129 alcoholism... 32... 94..... 77.. 81........30 anchor ..... 98......... 6...... 30 Eric Butterworth .................. 114........ 7.... 21..... 78... 27. 75.......... 78........... 38.... 103.. 56...... 4......... 115... 113...... 25.. 107 Cheryl O’Neil .. 96. 24 eating disorders.... 37...... 97. 97................ 84.. 84......... 81.. 7... 2.... 70.. 3 addiction . 50.... 26.... 15..... 52.... 106........ 45............... 55.. 77... 52.... 46. 78 cortisol ..... 63......... 95 © Copyright 2003.. 53. 31.. 89 fear 1..... 45......... Ph....... 33....5. 121.2... 71.. 94.....5...... 79 dream 1..... 110 communication . 6. 16.... 36.. 78 E&P attraction .................. 78 affirmations.... 121 drug abuse.... 53.............. 55.. 41.. 102. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att...24. 79 Carol Ginandes. 10.. 118 consciousness 8... ..... 129 diet . 79 cancer... 44... 35..121 blood sugar ... 80........ 12 Elvira Lang ..... 43. 119 confidence........ 63........ 10...8 Adrian Calabrese.. 127.. 31..... 45........ 103... 78... 80..... 47.... 48...... 94 baggage..... 60.. 10 binging ....D.... 19... 74. 44. 39.. 94......... 19.... 6.. 72. 14. 42... 122.... 104................ 3.. 95..... 86.1...... 118 acute pain............... 112. 131 dreams 22.. 114. 52. 22. 130 apprehension.. 90. 43. 126..... 37. 60.86 addict ........ 102.21 Arreed Barabasz .. 22...2... 24.......... 58. 46.. 21...... 4. 1.. 129 food addictions... 41... 101......... 123........ 37. 97........... 124 drinking....... 20....... 26....... 32.... 22.. 20... 37... 92. 105 darkest hour ... 94..... 116 disease. 128. 52........107 abuse 5...... 64....1.... 104........... 90.. 67..... 37... 21.. 4. 48... 71.. 38... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma......... 25.. 101...9..... 37..... 90 coronary disease........

. 127 hypersuggestible .. 122 Ida Kendall ... 116 happiness ..... 117 medicine... 29 neuro pathways ....... 4........ 77.. 78.. 30....84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ..... 83 Robert Dilts.. 25..... 83 nitric oxide .... 101 self-image ............ 123.......... 29......... 109..... 58................. 58...... 10... 107... 35....... 58.... 37.......24..... 88........ 43............... 43.. 8..... 118.. 78.............. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine . 66......... 79........... 10.... 10.. 94........... 78...... 37... 40......76 Hridaya Yoga... 57............................7........... 64..... 75. 38... 78....... 9. 39..... 84 panic attacks...... 51.. 49. 54.... 31......... 5... 6....83 John Kappas... 5. 89.... 37.......32 illness 36........ 37 self-esteem ......... 2...... 129 heart disease.1.... 26....... 34.. 79.... 101.. 27...... 32.... 21......8............. ii ....... 30..... 55..... 77................32 hypnotherapy ..... 57 neural interconnections . 43. 78 NLP..... 87.....10................... 108 Parkinson’s disease........ 83 Roger Callahan ........... 83... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 102.... 54. 57...28 John Grinder ...... 50......... 22...10... 36...... 37. 1.... 118 Gary Craig ... 57............ 77.. 84.......... 29.. 83 overload .... 87. 6.. 47..... 6.. 78..... 7... 95.. 77.... 53..... 56. 79..... 30.. 60. 89. 54....... 63.... 119.35 goal ... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ............ 60..... 87 lose weight 4. 67..... 23........ 9........ 32 phobia . 8..........40... 21...... 117. 47. 115.................30 high blood pressure............ 78... 78......... 103..5... 56.......... 3.. 78...7.8 hypnosis . 105.. 115 smoking... 64.. 58.. 93 message units .... 89....83 Law of Attraction. 107.... 57. 79.. 110............... 125........ 95... 27..... 77.. 74...... 103..... 79....... 47.. 32....... 34.....10... 56 hurt.... 99.... 37.......... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 39... 86 habits.....11. 53....... Woods ..... 37... 39.......... 42.... 15.........5..2.......... 109.. 77.. 86... 120.. 77. 89 phobias........ 37.... 110......... 67.. 122... 42.. 125 men . 76.... 65.......... 43. 32....... 109... 6 Pat Dennis............... 30......... 54..... 47...... 16.... 114 imagery .. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking . 38... 22........ 94 mood swings ......... 119.. 26.. 121 snapshot ....... 35. 50...... 85. 10....... 109..54 Irina Wardas . 113.....9............... 47. 65. 88......... 67.... 113 prosperity .. 13.. 58..... 37.......... 63.... 114. 58... 122 Harvard ...fulfillment . 121 relationships24. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003............. 92....... 43.... 7.. 59................. 125 immune suppression .. 79... 77. 128. 53..... 79......... 22......... 44.. 36.. 94.... 52...... 71 life force......... 5.. 21.... 119 neuro-linguistic programming . 101. 115.9.... 118...... 42... 77..... 22..... 105 Jane C................ 6. 116......................... 107............. 33.......... 130 Judith DeLozier ... 57............. 59.... 112.....37............. 28......... 45. 43.................. 86. 129 resentment........ 76. 129 grief. 46. 78... 99.......... 38. 69..... 120...... 127. 19.. 57.... 13. 120 relaxation ... 56.. 56. 81.... 93...... 46....... 59..... 37 powerless .... 58....... 44.... 118.. 17 Janet Luhrs.... 86... 28..12 habit .... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis........ 10........24 Journal of Clinical Psychology................ 21. 14.. 36 Guilt .. 30 passive-aggressive . 53.. 6. 6... 5. 59.... 15... 127........ 110.. 56.......... 76....... 53.... 87.. 77..... 53. 22....... 118 self-talk ..... 7..........36 joy . 35... 111... 58.... 54. 128 Richard Bandler ..... 59..... 32. 113.. 107 healing .

........ 26.. 46.. 101......... 80.... 95. 36...........Stephen Gilligan ......... 124 © Copyright 2003.83 Stephen Kosslyn ............... 79 thought habits ....... 110 Two Futures ...... 118........ 22. 10........ 91... 44... 122..... 115.. 6............ 29.. 85. 125.... 78 subconscious......... 6..... 60.. 109.... 120 yummy list . 77.28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ......44......6.. 58............. 5................................ 6...... 121 value areas of life........... 48... 7. 65................ 8....... 84. 38...... 7...... 34.. 128 subconsciously.............. 5....... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 79... 75...... 94..... 107.. 122 zeal.. 112.................. 109............ 56.. 21. 43..107 trigger........... 111 victimhood . 78........ 85.........4.................................. iii . 78........... 30.. 113............. 116 Women.... 77... 59... 45..... 77............. 57.......... 47...... 77...53 transformation... 37. 109 triggers ... 114 triggering event ................. 106 wounds ..................... 59... 39...... 114 weight .... 37..................5...57 stress hormones ......... 2. 34........ 114 visualization...... 120 suicide....... 37...... 47............... 30............

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful