This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. when given the proper instructions. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. feelings. As I said before. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. emotions and perceptions. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. . Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. neuro pathways. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people.
...................................................26 DIETING ..................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ............................................................................. F.32 EMOTIONS............................................ DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...................... EMOTIONS......... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS......46 SMART GOALS ........................ BEREAVEMENT ................................ DIETING..31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).......... ANGER........................ ANXIETY..................1 ADDICTION .....................................................................................................................................................................................37 FABULOUS .................................................................................8 CHANGE............ ADDICTION..26 DEPRESSION .....35 FABULOUS.................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .................................................. ............... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE........................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)..........................................18 COMMUNICATION .............15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .................................................. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ...................................................................... E.. C............................................................................................................ FEAR...................43 GOALS ......................34 ENERGY ..................... FOCUS..................5 ANXIETY ........................................................................... D..............................................................................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS.................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...................................................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ....................... ENERGY ......................................................21 DEPRESSION.........................................................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE............8 BALANCE .......................37 FEAR ........ AFFIRMATIONS........................................................................... FORGIVENESS...... G..........................................................................................................46 B..................40 FOCUS ....... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE..........................8 BEREAVEMENT ..........3 ANGER ..7 BALANCE...
.................77 OVERLOAD.......................................63 KARMA .................59 KARMA.......68 LUCK ...................49 HEART FIRE ........... MIND-BODY CONNECTION..................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION............................................................................................................................................................... LUCK ..................................................80 PAIN..... K..... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS...................................................................52 IMAGERY.......73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP). PHOBIAS........80 PERCEPTION ..............................................................65 LIFE................................. M...............................................................................................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ........... KISMET ...................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ..........51 HYPNOSIS........................ L.................H.... INTUITION............................................54 INTUITION.............................................................................................................................. PROSPERITY .................................. O............................. HYPNOSIS...................72 MIND SUCCESS ............................... P......... LOVE...................................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)...........49 HEALING ...................................................................................84 I......63 KISMET .................. HEALING......54 IMAGERY........................................ PERCEPTION...............78 PAIN....................................................................... N......................... MIND SUCCESS .................................................................................................................................. LIFE....................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .............56 JEALOUSY ............... J....................................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION....................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ...................... Q..................................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.........77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ................................................................................... ..................67 LOVE........70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION............................81 PHOBIAS ......59 JEALOUSY...............................................................................
................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)............................................. T................................................................................................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ................................................................................................................... SELF-TALK....... Y.................116 S........................................ WOUNDS ................................................................. U.. X...........................94 SELF CONFIDENCE....114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT .........................................................................................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ....... YUMMY LIST .......................................108 WEIGHT ...........................................................................................................................................................113 TWO FUTURES ....111 X SMOKER............................. RELATIONSHIPS... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)...... STUCK .106 WEIGHT...... EXERCISES ................................ BINGER ETC ....................114 YUMMY LIST ........................................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ...............89 SELF-CONFIDENCE....................................................94 SELF-TALK.......................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT...................................................... WORDS.......104 VISUALIZATION ....................................................................................86 RELEASING . VICTIMHOOD.........117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS........................................................................................................................ VISUALIZATION.....86 RELATIONSHIPS ............94 STRESS ......................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE............... i....R............108 WORDS............................96 STUCK .......................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... iii ......103 VALUE AREAS............... Z.......................................... DRINKER..................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.........114 ZEAL .... RELEASING.... W...................................122 INDEX . ii....95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE....................................... V............................ RITUALS FOR SUCCESS............99 TIMELINE THERAPY ..............
excitement and yes. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. fear of failure. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. Fear of change. As a result. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. occurrence. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. it is filled with laughter. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. a life that is rich and full.net 1 . indeed. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. love. ADDICTION. AFFIRMATIONS. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. Even when we know we have this tool. ANGER. usually as a result of fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. © Copyright 2003. even worse. The future. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. Because of this. however. incident. we don’t trust it to be real. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. think we are making progress or stagnating. In order to make changes. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing.A ABUNDANCE. It is our perception of any event. fear of success. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. money and success. satisfying. sometimes we simply choose not to use it.
Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. so. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. at least while they are using their drug. the more connected you feel. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. at least for a while. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. and life just gets better and better.. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict.e. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. however. however.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. who you can call when you feel you might slip. A tempo that is magnetic. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. Your first step. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. i. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. helps them suppress the pain. People without strong desires slowly whither away. Allow that desire to flow through you. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. you do have a choice. the more vibrant and alive you become. no matter what program you are going through. It is important though. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. alcohol.net 2 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Unfortunately. cocaine.
net 3 . Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. A friend of mine once told me. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. you will forever remain an addict. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.com www. the addict. if it is not done.org www. though. Many people. then you. I agree with this school of thought. but you don’t have to. www. The sooner we realize and accept that. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. However. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.habitdoc. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life.passagesmalibu. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. so.com www. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you face this pain that you have been running from.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible.practicalrecovery.secularsobriety. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003.
• Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. that’s like moving uphill. when what you really mean is. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system.” the message sent to your mind. When you do this. the steering wheel of your car. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. Always create an image of what you want in your life. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror.” Or “I will lose weight. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. If necessary. your computer. Don’t let fear hold you back. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” Or say.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day.net 4 . the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. When you move towards what you want. not what you want to avoid. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. © Copyright 2003.” • State your affirmations in the positive. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. always focus on what you want to move towards.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Always remember this. So. then that means you are on the right track. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. • Be specific.
Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. fatigue. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. hostility. Even if we bury anger deep inside. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. and heart palpitations. anger is the most common response. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. cold hands. it can be just as damaging. along with mourning. you may see yourself as an avenger. shaking. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. going from one trauma to the next. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. eating disorders. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. can lead to serious food addictions. you may blame others for your situation or condition. Holding onto anger.net 5 . chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. If you see yourself as a victim. resentment. crying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and in small doses can be a good thing. When a relationship ends. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. hurt. drug abuse and depression. alcoholism. When this is the case. looking for justice and revenge. In addition. Not only is this destructive to you. But some people seem to be angry all the time. So. In situations that cause fear. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. then anger becomes a serious health risk.
sarcastic. coronary disease. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly.net 6 . A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. Power and anger are frequently related. suicide. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. alcohol and drug abuse. Remember. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. releasing your anger. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. fear and hurt. If you feel powerless. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. bitterness. and depression. and can help make you more content. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). and stubborn. and can lead to serious food addictions. © Copyright 2003. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. Also. and even increased workplace injuries. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. expressing your anger in an indirect way. it will never go away. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. but anger that may be directed at you by others. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. Unfortunately. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cancer. In the past. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there.
weakness. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another.). As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. fear or anxiety. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. Fears. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility.net 7 . an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. etc. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. driving a car. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. shakiness. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. Also. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. nausea. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. © Copyright 2003. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. being home alone. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. flying. anxiety. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. fear or anxiety. mood swings.
Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. that happiness must come from within ourselves. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. Good advice. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. then it would make him happy as well. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. a perfect balance. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. it didn’t work. right? Yes and no. Happiness. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. getting involved with a church. No matter what you hear. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. I told him the usual stuff.net 8 . place or thing that can make you happy. Sometimes we need reminders.B BALANCE. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. There isn’t another person. Just think about that a moment. you know. No one can tell you how to be happy. The problem was. then he’d really truly be happy. Twelve hours of day and night. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. let them be a reminder to look inside.
Woods. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. fulfillment and life find you.co. lover. That means stop analyzing everything so much. happiness. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. It will. You are able to access your subconscious. if we are angry. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. goal. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. working for you. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. Whether it’s an emotion. and in doing so. even the words we use. They allow you to clear out the old. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. In this state. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. desire. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. But even more than that. jane@changingpeople. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 9 . job or whatever you are seeking. our voice. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. to balance the light and dark within yourself.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. the right kind of suggestions. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. stop thinking it to death. No matter how hard we may try. feeling.
When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. you must do what is right for you. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. That said. for example. To a degree that can be true. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. and so on. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such.net 10 . just a little. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. It is an immutable part of the human condition.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. and generally we prefer not to think about it. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. NewBeginnings email@example.com intensity and duration may differ. letting relevant people know. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. However. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. © Copyright 2003. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes.
It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. disconcertingly.Denial A second common response. Help them tell you their feelings. For example. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. when they are breaking bad news to patients. © Copyright 2003. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. recognizing it and naming it. once the first shock waves have abated. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. or for feeling angry. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further.net 11 . These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. “If I do this. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. we may be compelled to visit the scene. Often that is enough. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. It is unrealistic but again. or those suffering alongside us. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. uncaring. a normal response. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. We may need evidence. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. is a refusal to believe the news. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. we may need to be told several times. Some enlightened doctors know. and just plain wrong. This is where someone less involved can offer help. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help.
When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. just let it go.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. even perhaps depressed. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003.net 12 . Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. You cannot short circuit this process. and even our clothing. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. I have lost someone significant in my life’. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. when our behaviour. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. was decreed. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. For example. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. like fundraising for a particular charity. how to manage our grief. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression.
be it with a handshake or a hug. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. People want to help but they often don’t know how. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. we begin to move on. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. So. Experiment At some point. in this phase. and this will of course vary from person to person. ask them. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. not in any sense. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. This does not mean forgetting them. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. you never go right back to the beginning. which can be a comfort. © Copyright 2003. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. Let close friends offer you comfort. we experiment with new ways of behaving. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. However hard it is. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. If you need a hug.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. however it feels. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. such as excessive use of alcohol. You may find. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 13 . But actually. feeling there is no point.
Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Helping In Western culture. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. If you can. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Knowing this can help you plan for it. whether for you personally. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. surrounded by people. Of course. so we need to use our discretion. ritual can be helpful at this time. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. or an offer of help with the shopping. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. Again. taking flowers to an appropriate place.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor.net 14 . or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. I hope it has been helpful however. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. Literally. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss.” © Copyright 2003. a card sincerely written. be it taking some homemade food round. as I have said. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. be it lighting candle. take medical advice. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts.
make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. Finally. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. some anecdotal. and some simply telling you how to do it. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. Some people embrace change and some resist it. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Just remember this. Sometimes. almost no one likes it. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. some research based. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. even depressed. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Sometimes. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. jane@changingpeople. we can get very fed up. This phase goes on for ages or not too long.co. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Woods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. depending on the severity of the change. depending on the change.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic.C CHANGE.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.net 15 .
It may ring a bell with you. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives.net 16 . You are feeling bright and chirpy. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. Finding they are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. However. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. A Story Here is a short story about change. You are speechless at first. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. “What?” you say. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Worse. © Copyright 2003. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence.
Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. vulnerable. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. So. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. or determined to make more effort. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. and. joy of joys.. For example. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. did it make you sad. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house.. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Use two different colours if you like. That is a fact to record on the top line. angry.net 17 . or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. yes. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. no one but you is going to see this. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. don’t just focus on the negatives.But then. For example.
light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. are funny things. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. Obviously. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. They begin almost imperceptibly. At first. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. while another may be much more fatalistic. But as the sun rises. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. Then. Sometimes. One may approach it in a positive way. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. and therefore our feelings. Actually. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. our responses to change are individual and personal. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. Dawns. as the dawn progresses. However. The same principle applies to you.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. our thoughts. © Copyright 2003.net 18 . Similarly with our responses to change. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. another to frown and feel aggrieved. overloaded message units and repressed fears. no one makes us feel anything. For example. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however.
comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. you do not need to feel this way. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. but will actually consider them an order. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. detailed imprint of what you desire. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. inept. clumsy. Giving you the feeling of freedom. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Ultimately. confidence. apprehension and fear. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. remember “dawn” can and will happen. Unfortunately. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. given enough time and repetition. you are in essence training your mind. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. Be absolutely clear about what you want. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. When this happens.anxiety and emotions. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. relaxation. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. even our physical health and well being. see the right path. need or want. however. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. For example.net 19 . confused or fearful. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. © Copyright 2003. you start to believe it yourself. If you are starting to feel anxious. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk).
” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. If you want a New Beginning. so. all of your life. it is a journey. Know that no matter what things might look like. you are actually living the life you want. Trust that the Universe has. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions.” So live your life fully. realizing all the possibilities available to you. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. with clarity. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. confidence and trust. abundance. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. want and desire. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject.achieving prosperity. then the real fun can start. does and will continue to offer you what you need. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. mold them and do it over and over again. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. you always have a choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. in addition. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. You will feel stronger. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. It’s the life in your years. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. It does make a difference. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. yoga. you need to be aware. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue.net 20 . Guide them. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. As Abraham Lincoln once said.
Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. The problem is that we communicate differently. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. I truly believe that faith. © Copyright 2003. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. NewBeginnings email@example.com creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest.net 21 . trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. It is important not to go looking for your sign.knowing. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. our answers are all around us. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. engage and listen. look and listen. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. yellow balloon. dolphins . courage. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try.
they will answer yes or no. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. possibly even throws things when angry. First. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. An example would be. screams. how they can come apart. people don’t realize just how true this is. In relationships. but E&P affects. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. it isn’t. whatever when upset.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. cries. enjoys spur of the moment activities. and how natural and normal this is. among other things. These two types. the way we communicate with each other. Communication. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. opposites really do attract. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. It is the physical who yells. So. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.net 22 . is so much more than simple questions. however. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. © Copyright 2003. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. if you ask a physical if they are cold. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed.
Since we tend to project our thoughts. self-confidence. Words have power. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Also. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. however is just one part of communication. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. It becomes a vicious circle. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 23 . you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. © Copyright 2003. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Remember though. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. you can see how this could be problematic. You had to be strong. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. We heal from physical injuries. they can ruin lives. This E&P communication. the more the physical pushes. Conversely. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to.The same thing occurs when communicating. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much.
Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. This is why “words” do have so much power. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.net 24 . what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. someone will answer. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. But most of all. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. Also. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. your talent. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. throughout your life entire life. intelligence and compassion. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. © Copyright 2003. by working it. but not only that. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. As a matter of fact. Your life depends on it After all. leave. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. find out what you can do. Make some calls. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. each of us. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. The woman who has come out of a nasty. call out for help. this planet needs you. You know because I say it over and over again. bad relationship and can keep on going. dreams and desires. The same holds true for what you hear. is powerful beyond belief. Think and dream about your future. beautiful heart and so much love to give. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. wider and stronger each and every day. But you are wrong. keep your thoughts strong. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.
© Copyright 2003. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. husband. NewBeginnings email@example.com 25 . wife. words can destroy you. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. words can hurt you. And that’s really what venting to another person is. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. scream and yell and swear all you want. our child. Once said they are out there forever.Each of us. Vent when you are alone. But when you are with someone you care about.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. conditions and illnesses. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. Jill Ammon-Wexler.even into very advanced old age. According to Dr. if we want to. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. According to Dr. As research continues in this area. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. DIETING.D DEPRESSION. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. In fact. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. AND -. suicidal feelings. Miller goes on to stress. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. Researchers like Dr. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons .it is created. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. Dr. In addition.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. © Copyright 2003. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. No one is born with such a brain -.net 26 . if this work fulfills its potential. depression. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. thought patterns and thought habits. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. however. and just like any other habit. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. but in essence they are just like any other habit.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons.
This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. “disappointed in my relationships”. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. I don’t want to be around negative people. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. what we say to ourselves. But if you engage in regular mental workouts.use it or lose it.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. even more importantly. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. etc. “unhappy”. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. What it does understand. though. I just want to be happy. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth.net 27 . fulfilled life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. healthy muscles. © Copyright 2003. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. What we think. Think about that a moment. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts.
Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. stroke and Alzheimer’s. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life.net 28 . many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Fixing one problem can often help the other. on a subconscious level. it will continue to go on. Take responsibility for your thoughts. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. When you can take a truth and internalize it.. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected.” observes Dr. Pay attention to what you are thinking. Ph. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. Bruce Cohen. 2005. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. with the aid of hypnosis. 100 times more. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. is originating on a deeper. Woman’s World. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. October 18. reflect on the contrary. So. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. epilepsy. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. including cancer. When there is negative thinking. subconscious level. heart disease. Reflect on the positive. whether it is physical or emotional. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Parkinson’s disease. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.D. Massachusetts.
When most of us think about diet and weight. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). is bad for you. The truth is. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. we just don’t want to do it. never a comparison with all the other studies. any kind of fat. Chocolate was bad for you.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. we are really only getting part of the story. and of course. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. according to the New York Times. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. now again we are hearing. The first diet included six small meals a day. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. Part of one study. it seems as if all the doctors. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and these are serious issues indeed. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below.net 29 . you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. then we were told maybe it isn’t. © Copyright 2003. particularly among our young people. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. people. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. Confusing. First we were told that fat. the second diet was only three meals a day. diet and weight. test or theory. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. especially our young women. And throughout all of it. especially in the United States. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. sometimes to death. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. but in addition.
emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. Knowledge is indeed power. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. Releasing negative thoughts. by taking control of our thoughts. As we live our lives. © Copyright 2003. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. one of the first things I tell them is.net 30 . Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. satisfaction. Just as with any weight. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. In fact. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. both emotional and physical. weight issues are rarely just about weight.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. confidence or happiness. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. and getting the right kind of support and advice. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. it can include abandonment issues. a lack of fulfillment. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. With the internet available to all of us.
i.. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. though is not just about external fact. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. take control of your thoughts and change your life. what does your world look like. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. You can continue the work on your own. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. that we keep going back to it. observe how you feel. fear. Look at yourself.Knowledge. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. what do you see. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.net 31 . This is. what do you think about. though just an illusion. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. If you don’t like it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. in fact. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event.com. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. I keep going back to this one phrase.e. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. © Copyright 2003. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. So wonderful. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release.
when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. addictions and phobias. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depression. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. ENERGY. EMOTIONS. © Copyright 2003. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. a negative experience itself. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. As I’ve written before. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. fear. general stress. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. anxiety. Not a hypothetical path.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). has no value of its own. including depression. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. posttraumatic stress disorder. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body.net 32 . any negative experience. anger.
the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. to addiction. weight loss to pain and illness. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. understanding the negative experience is not enough. war trauma or severe physical illness. © Copyright 2003. EFT can help with both the cravings. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. As stated earlier. deprivation. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. Remember. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. In addition.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. With or without hypnosis. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. With regard to addictions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. and more importantly. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning.net 33 . the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. emptiness and anxiety. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. do not use self-hypnosis.
and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer.net 34 . The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. hurt. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. meditation. but our physical health as well. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. One such study by Dr. hostility. resentment. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. It can even be linked to suicide. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. Likewise. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. even more importantly. hurt and unforgiveness. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. For example. Ryke Geerd Hamer. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. By forgiving. accidents and increased workplace injuries. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life.
In most cases of cancer. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. exposure to toxic substances. such as genetics. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. seems somewhat contradictory. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit.specifically. white flour. that we are out of balance. whole grains. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal.net 35 . your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. but it is not. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. etc. etc). Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. In addition to nurturing your mind. Throughout this book you will find theories. it prevents depression. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. vaccines. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. pathogens. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. diet. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts.
opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Hypnosis can help you. or an inability to let go and just relax. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. So. but balance will return. © Copyright 2003. imagery. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. stress.who have the ability to relax more fully.net 36 . Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. While listening to your hypnotherapist.
safflower and vegetable oils. turmeric. Their phytonutrients .carotenoids in carrots. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants.F FABULOUS. nuts. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food.net 37 . Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. until the food becomes liquid. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. try counting the chews in each bite. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. aiming for 30 to 50 times. FOCUS. The indigestible parts of fruits. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Fruits and vegetables and spices. Eat the right foods. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. soy. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. Chew properly. Healthy fats. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. Fiber. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. 2. garlic liberally. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. FEAR. whole grains. Increase your intake of fish. which as we know reduce inflammation. © Copyright 2003. Drink more water. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. primary by reducing the inflammation.
(Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Pesticides. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. It relaxes and detoxifies your body.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline.) If under pressure at meals. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Regular exercise should make you sweat. Breathe. Any form of exercise helps. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Our blood is what creates our cells. which creates less gas. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. our organs. our hair. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. our tissues. Detox. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle.net 38 . water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. Sweat – cleans up your system. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. chew. As a matter of fact. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. Detox is a relative term. Losing weight gradually . But breathing is also effective. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. our skin. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. 5. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The solution: Sweat. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Eat homemade food. but so will saunas and hot baths. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. take deep breaths. chemicals from manufacturing. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. 6. 4. 3.
improving your healthy well-being. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant.it is delicious. 7. and improve overall health. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Laugh. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. our relationships. 8. relaxes your body. I call it facial meditation. refined flours. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. 10. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Have sex. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. 9. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . you sure can laugh at one. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique.net 39 . © Copyright 2003. Tai chi -moving meditation . focused.consists of slow. Have a home-made facial. fried foods. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. boost mood. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. fats. grains. etc. Even if you can’t tell a joke. our jobs. hydrogenated fats.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. diary products. meats. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. bread. Take the laughter yoga class. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes.
We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003.net 40 . they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. FEAR: fear of change. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. That one thing is FEAR. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. though.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. that one thing.naturalcounselor. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. what we expect. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. one thing seems to come up most frequently. mood swings. insomnia or lack of energy. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. or even worse. fear of success. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. fear of failure. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. healthy and joyous life you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a short while. it keeps us from making a big mistake. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while.
Something that is important to you right now. instead. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Be honest. in order to be an adult. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it.net 41 . Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. we are afraid to dream. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. the more vibrant and alive we become. friends and lovers live this kind of life. © Copyright 2003. People without strong desires slowly whither away. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. This is wrong. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. write down your goals and if you did write them down. and grow up. get out your list and read it again. If you haven’t done so already. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. relationships. But. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Your goals must be your very own. As children we were free to play. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. 2. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. When you have specific. the more connected we feel. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. We were told to grow up. afraid of disappointment. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. we were told to leave those dreams behind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the world of adults. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure).settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. for the most part. we have chosen. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. career and health because you are afraid of failing. and life just gets better and better. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. have a reasonably happy life. as we grew older. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. pretend and let our imaginations soar. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed.
net 42 . 5. If you have not asked for support much in the past. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. FOCUS Look around you. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. crying and so on. life coach or whomever and ask for support. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. As an example. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. 4. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. breathing things. parent. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Remember the Power of Affirmations. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. When you say your affirmations out loud. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Use them. a powerful tool. even though we would gladly give it if asked. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. it’s hard to focus. push yourself to ask for help now. if your goal is to run a marathon. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. doing something together. though. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Focus. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. Sometimes. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. You know.3. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. laughing. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out.
success and fulfillment. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. © Copyright 2003. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. Over time. you are bombarded with millions of message units. negative or neutral to our mental. physical and emotional well-being. affirmative statements. When we go through periods of stress. that release. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. though. interpersonal and relationship problems. During the course of a day. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. It disables your emotional resources. Luckily. The subconscious processes everything. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear.taste. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. sight. This is commonly referred to as memory. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. resentment or anger. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. forgive and accept forgiveness. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. smell and hearing. and its effects may be positive. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. health. touch. though.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. whether asleep or awake. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments.net 43 . confront the situation as needed. our subconscious is able to do this for us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it still exists in our subconscious. recorded on brain and body cells. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. psychological imbalances. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious.
giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’.net 44 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. During the Releasing session. fear and anxiety. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. Once learned. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. laughter and perspiration. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. They are also © Copyright 2003. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. 3. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. tears. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 6. This not only applies to a current. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. Even when we sleep long hours. anger. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. existing situation. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. 4. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. 2. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. 5.
asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. “I release (relevant emotions. As people from all backgrounds. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. once learned. sadness. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. 8. © Copyright 2003. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. and your body and life are the printout.net 45 .” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. can be done alone. and feeling great. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. such as anger. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. the Releaser is asked to state. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. the brain is your biological computer. have learned. however. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1.). I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. disappointment. as a Soul. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. including health care professionals and clergy. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour).” 7. function as a computer operator. etc.
it is a feeling and a condition of existence. You choose what you want in your life. not really happy. If you think about anger. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. something that is crucial to goal setting.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world.net 46 . you can change it by setting yourself some goals. A really simple way to test this theory is this. meaningful and exciting. Think of it as a game. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. fun. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. Each of us is already whole. an activity or a thing. whether it is an emotion. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. not only does life get depressing. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. A state of being is not an emotion. Without goals.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. a diversion to keep life interesting. thoughts and ideas. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. Sometimes. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. Conversely. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. We find ourselves drifting along. I don’t know about you. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. take the color blue for example. This same principle works the same way for emotions. Not only in your own relationships. if you think about a color. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. your current life situation. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. After you’ve done this. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. “I don’t know what I want. though. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
If you do this regularly. change is the whole point. they will never be overwhelming. it just means you make an adjustment. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. Don’t forget about free will. Adjustments are a good thing. keeps us feeling alive. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. But you can’t manifest everything you want. doesn’t mean I can have him.net 47 . they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. simple Measurable. it would be a boring and scary world. He’s got free will just as we all do. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. not if you want to improve your life. responsible. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. sometime weekly.
dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. © Copyright 2003. So.Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. set those goals.net 48 . your goals are clear and you believe that it will.
showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and.H HEALING. turning some functions on and others off. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. visualization and positive suggestions. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. It can help relieve pain.D. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. releasing negative thoughts. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. In a pilot study published in 1999. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. imagery. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. Ph.net 49 . HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Working from the inside out. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. and help strengthen the immune system. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing.. lower blood pressure. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. relieve depression and so much more. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. As David Spiegel. by using specific. speed up healing after surgery. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. © Copyright 2003.
compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body.net 50 . the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. soothing kind of treatment.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. The suggestions. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. anxiety and the need for painkillers. During the operation. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. that’s because it is. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. Every 15 minutes. empathic care provider and hypnosis. in terms of levels of pain. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. and the third received standard care. though. Arreed Barabasz. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. © Copyright 2003. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.
and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. “It’s not just a fantasy.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. realizing all the possibilities available to you. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. you actually see it. And this list goes on and on. experienced less pain. Spiegel and Lang found. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. If you think you are seeing color.” Using imaging technology. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. the hypnotized patients used less medication.net 51 . which could account for heightened attention. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. involving more than 330 patients. On average. While in the trance. psychologists say. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis.” says Marc Schoen. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. the brain’s manager and planner. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. then the real fun can start. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control.” says Spiegel. A journey that you can now control. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. Once again. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. In effect.
Some little problem or some big problem. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. unpleasant. As we each move through life. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. resentment. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. All life starts as a spark. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. tension and minor frustrations.net 52 . By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. Sometimes. we each have to deal with something. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. We have to cope with irritating. My purpose is to help them remember. When I say fuel. Each incident throughout the day affects us. stress. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. though. you can do this exercise while awake. With a bit of practice. © Copyright 2003. hurt. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. rude or just plain nasty people. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). fear. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime.jealously. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. hurt. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. this spark can grow a little dim. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. Try it once and feel the results. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. Problems that we encounter every single day. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel.
you create a vivid. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session.” Using hypnosis. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. every message unit. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. As a result. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. The more visual and real you make your goal. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. more positive thoughts. comfort. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. feel or react. and much better about yourself. however. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. not only will you feel better immediately. Try hypnosis.net 53 . At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. you will feel refreshed. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. a professor of psychology at Harvard. According to Stephen Kosslyn. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. Some pleasant. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. euphoria and control of your life again. anything at all about yourself. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. but the results will amaze and delight you. clarity. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. relaxed. © Copyright 2003. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. If there is anything in your world. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind.
Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. Your ability to overcome obstacles. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. However. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.com Cheryl is talking about imagery.” Cheryl O’Neil. create passionate relationships.” What we think.net 54 . once wrote. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous..I IMAGERY. feel more loved. The brain is simply another organ in your body. What we experience as feelings. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. mend your ways. build self-confidence. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As stated in Woman’s World.is determined by the thoughts you think. www. heal your body. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. boost your mood. who I especially admire. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy.cheryloneil. Conversely. etc. depressed © Copyright 2003. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. More and more doctors as well as patients. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. Never. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. Simply put. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. September 26. good or bad. etc. fixing a problem in one place. failure or success. and change your life . Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. can often help the other. 2006. what we say to ourselves. fear or confidence.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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98% of the time I am right.com. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. “What we think about we bring about. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. Another way I practice is with elevators.com © Copyright 2003. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Go with your first impression you get from each card. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Motivation. Reiki. Meditation.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. Self Esteem.qualifiedlifecoach.net 58 . use a deck of cards. Abundance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You know that saying. Law of Attraction. You rise above thinking in mediation. The fourth part is training your mind. Private & Group Coaching. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red.
If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. no matter what that entails. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. You are angry. delusions.net 59 . You want to stop what you are feeling. enjoy their life. succeed. It is essential to communicate clearly. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. envy. That’s the truth of love. in control of yourself and your partner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you can cool down. and grow. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. and if so. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. You feel violated. You want to see them become more of who they are. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. You want revenge. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. projections. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. Often. you may go into a rage. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment.
the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. If your relationship is based on Attachment. You can give yourself the gift. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. you cannot make a person love you. If you move inward and look at yourself. © Copyright 2003. If you can do this. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. It does not. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner.net 60 . Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you cannot. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. not within the relationship. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Jealousy is like an onion. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. the jealousy resides within you. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture.
and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. This is natural and normal. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Going down to an even deeper layer. The truth is that for most of us. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. there is nothing to feel guilty about. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. It is their own. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. the truth behind what you are feeling. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Look at your beliefs. Projection. Another layer is projection. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. Another layer can be guilt.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. These all grow out of expectation. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. This is projecting. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. we find envy. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. This insight. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment.net 61 . You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. Look at the reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You do not own it. We think that we should be able to rise above it. envy. you can reach self-awareness. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. really look and analyze them. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. guilt or anger. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all.
they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. look deep within yourself at these feelings. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. When you love. fear of not being worthy of love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you find yourself doing this. They come from our past. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. You do not need to experience jealously. By looking deep within. Surrender to it. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. you can watch that love radiate out for all. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. frequently they are not real. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you are experiencing jealously. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. If you love someone. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them.net 62 . With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. When you attempt to possess another person. Hypnosis can help. and let that be who you are. they still don’t meet your expectations. Fear of loss. then what you are experiencing is not love. © Copyright 2003. You can choose to move away from those feelings. let that guide you. You become vulnerable. the resentment and the hurt. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. but attachment. fear of being alone. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. Once you release the anger. Perhaps you fear abandonment. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. our childhood. you become yourself possessed. Open your heart and mind to it. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money.
present and future and because of this. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes.K KARMA. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not.net 63 . maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. if you prefer. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. There is no judgment involved. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Most people © Copyright 2003. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Just a thought. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. but generally the concept is basically the same. Jain. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. all of which determine our future. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. or alternatively. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies.
fate and destiny are not the same. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. If you are not satisfied with your life. As stated above. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. but fate makes no allowance for free will. saint or seer. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. In the belief systems of many cultures. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. Fate implies no choice. which is a huge component of the human psyche. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. participate and change the direction you are heading.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. In the Shang dynasty in China. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. prophet. Step in.associate Destiny with fate.net 64 . Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. © Copyright 2003.
The old saying. “Let the chips fall where they may”. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. LIFE. NewBeginnings email@example.com a year income. For example. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. “What you think about will happen in your life. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want.” It’s about where you put your focus.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. What ever it is. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. that can help you with exactly that. start by writing it down. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. © Copyright 2003. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. LOVE. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups.000. is a good analogy.net 65 . The concept of the law of attraction is. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block.
When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. pay attention. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. I promise you it will show up. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. pay attention to what happens next. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. talk to those people. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. Now the key here is to follow up with this. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. now grab it. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. don’t panic. Now that you have set this up.net 66 . There is something there to be learned or gained. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. allowing it to happen is vital. You have made it clear. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. You asked for what you wanted. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. you then attracted it. etc. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back.
This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. Individual Coaching. you used them to learn about yourself.net 67 . We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. The sooner we realize and accept that. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. So live your life. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. life is messy. that is the Universe telling you go…. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. She told him something I want to share with all of you.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. Group Coaching.” And I realized as she told me this. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. www. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. It is never wasted and it is never lost. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. who has no idea that she is. maybe © Copyright 2003. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. a very wise woman. You never. Go to my web site for more information. she said “You didn’t waste those years. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. originally thought of.in a different package. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. tele-classes and resources are offered. Not only that. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money.com. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life.qualifiedlifecoach.
each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. First. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. often including a desire to help. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. dating. [Obs. partnered.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. married or alone. com·pas·sion.] Shak. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. you are perfect. I know. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. all kinds of love. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. healing. I’m not sure why exactly. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). some which I like and others not so much. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. trust . sex. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. Definition: To pity. never have. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. © Copyright 2003. compassion and faith. but yes. romance. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”.net 68 . living this life to experience love. then. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding.” When we talk about compassion. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. v. I was reminded recently. t. A noun. The message really is that you need to be in love with you.
lazy or self-indulgent. then maybe. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. heal others and yourself.Another thing that is so important to remember. work with or just come into contact with. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. and. then someone else. measurable phenomenon. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. nobody can make it for you. one that you can get behind. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. My only question to your would be this. as well.net 69 . places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Luck is a real. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Instead of listening to that old record. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. those we live with. with all their faults. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). can start to love themselves as well. someone around you. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. Give yourself a break. in the process.K. © Copyright 2003. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. that negative voice in your head.
One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women.net 70 . The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. And yet.D. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. “Depression may look like a single disease. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. certainly not for a real man. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. As Dr. Depression can manifest in many different forms. M. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.e. the depression and the cause of that depression. February 26. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. and so do the ideal treatments. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. During the past 50 years. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have.M MALE DEPRESSION. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. but the underlying causes vary. In the past. or even make the depression worse. This can make treatment especially difficult. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. (Harvard Medical School). In addition.. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. sex. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. 2007 article.” Michael Craig Miller. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. with all these statistics facing us.
These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. With the aid of hypnotherapy. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. Hallowell.. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. There are detours that we must take. As Dr. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being.D. hurt. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. As I quote above. however. Sometimes. you take back control of your own life. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. October 18.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships.net 71 . the healing process. bitterness. 2005. Edward M. Woman’s World. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. love and happiness beyond measure. fear. Working from the inside out. When this occurs. When you recognize that this is occurring. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. Trying to accomplish this by yourself.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. This is not easy. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. smooth and without bumps or potholes. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. When you release the hurt. difficult and painful process. Using © Copyright 2003. guilt and depression. without wanting or meaning to. Ph. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. without help. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. During the course of this journey and these detours. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. helping you regain strong mental-health. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. resentment. fear or anger that you are experiencing. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity.
” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. resentment.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. hostility. This has been proven by Dr. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. drug abuse and depression. © Copyright 2003. a German physician. but our physical body as well. can lead to serious food addictions. Holding onto anger. Dr. Ryke Geerd Hamer. including diet. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. alcoholism. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. eating disorders. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. hurt. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.000 brain scans. In addition. With the help of 20.net 72 . meditation. pathogens. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.
but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. This is a way of thinking.exposure to toxic substances. thought or image. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. vaccines. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. white flour. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.net 73 . keeping track of what is working and what is not. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. and this applies to any negative emotion. if you focus on anger. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. use it and use it frequently. Success is largely an inner game. guide them in a positive direction. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. In addition to nurturing your mind. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Believe me. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. Meditation works. It requires that you develop a success mind. anger is what you will bring into your life. I have been there and there is a way out. etc). Success is a process of continually learning new information. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. yoga can help. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. Ph. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. but to your thoughts as well. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. etc. and © Copyright 2003. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. whole grains. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book.D. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.
exploring one more option or opportunity. learn from your mistakes. but also change the world. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. the less we fear them. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. see unlimited possibilities. if you talk to any star athlete. The success mind trains itself to ask. hardship. fear of hard work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. fear of what other people will think.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. foster creativity. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. While success requires action. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. Fear of change. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. © Copyright 2003. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. generate new ideas. Take time to dream. and keep moving forward. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. Gather new information. Take action. and create new realities. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. fear that we are not good enough. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. and failure. possibility is in the dreaming. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. fear of failure. discover the underlying limiting beliefs.net 74 . Most fears are simply learned behaviors. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). or successful businessperson. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. you simply need to start. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. inventor. Develop a process to examine your fears. conditioning. You will have to change to be successful. Yet. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. This is one of the laws of success. make adjustments along the way.
experience. form opinions. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. When you say yes. Remember. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. and grow. Question. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. challenge. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Not simply because you say yes. and success. your actions. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. try on new perspectives. But once you say no to an opportunity. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. you likely will feel fear.net 75 . watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. The time to begin is now. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. As you do this. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. your world and your success. It is never too late to develop your success mind. your feelings. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. create. think. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. Your thoughts. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. You continue to grow. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Mental toughness. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. adventure. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living.
Mollie Marti. and healthier lives. redirect the effort.. © Copyright 2003. Stop caring what other people think.com or www. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. lawyer.success and rewards your effort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. better. Dream big and take consistent. mediator.bestlifedesign.molliemarti. Ph. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.D. and smart action.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results.net 76 . Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. performance coach. J. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. is President of Best Life Design. directed. happier. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.. engage again and refuse to quit. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Visit her at www. make corrections.D. Inc.
NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. sales. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. There is.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. management training. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. linguistics and computer science. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. however. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”).net 77 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Robert Dilts. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. However. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Unfortunately. sports. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. © Copyright 2003. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. John Grinder. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. and interpersonal influence.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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red would probably not be the best color to use. You have the power to change your perception. health healing. fire. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. Also. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. activity.net 81 .medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. Use it for minor headaches. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. growth. occurrence. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. remember that red not only represents life force. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. © Copyright 2003. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. think we are making progress or stagnating. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. Whether it makes us happy or sad. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. use Yellow) money.
The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. By the time your therapist is done.net 82 . © Copyright 2003. this is how it works. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Perception is a powerful thing. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Depending on the phobia. though. If you are suffering from a phobia. there will be no emotional response. Take control. Basically. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. You are then taken back to the phobia again. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. Relief is truly immediate. this power. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. it can make your life almost unbearable. But the results tend to be permanent. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. but it is not a gift at all. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. control it and use it wisely. Once you have faced your phobia. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. It can be done in person and over the phone. After you are put into a hypnotic state. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. Sometimes.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool.
fear of failure. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. and not just money or things. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. fun. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. you will enjoy them immensely. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. prosperity includes a rich. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. it may be necessary to make some changes. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Frequently they are a result of fear. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. even fear of success. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life.net 83 . Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. however. happiness.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. © Copyright 2003. money as well. Mollie W. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. Fear of change. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. In order to accomplish this. thinking and dreaming. both written by Dr. Marti. fulfillment and yes.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. and not just a lack of money or things. joyful and full life filled with love. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you.
We can see it. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. separate from us. smell. and hear it.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. in about three or four paragraphs! So. standing as a physical world. M-Theory. instead. and tangible. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. they are all phenomena within the mind. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. EPR Paradox. Unified Field Theory. © Copyright 2003. as I started to research this a bit. It appears undeniably to be out there. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. taste. touch it. independent and apart from us. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. hear. around us. Time. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). Schroedinger’s Cat. Supersymmetry. Grand Unified Theory. Superstring Theory. They exist within consciousness. Quantum Gravity. utterly real. Loop Quantum Gravity. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. not the other way around. external universe. solid. space. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. the Copenhagen Interpretation. String Theory. However real and external these images may seem. touch. however. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. In the dream it all seems very real. because what was a mechanical. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. in addition.net 84 . you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Theory of Everything.
huh? So.net 85 . Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. Cool.So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and there’s only one real way to do that. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.
The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. RELEASING. However. It is the physical who yells. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In addition. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. how they can come apart. First. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. Unfortunately. © Copyright 2003. read on. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. These two distinct types. our behavior patterns. cries or screams when upset. possibly even throws things when angry. if you are not. I am talking about just how we each relate to others.net 86 . You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction.R RELATIONSHIPS. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. congratulations. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years.
She is happy. When I say E&P attraction. And that’s a good thing. So he starts spending more time at work. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. what the priorities of each are. the relationship is of primary importance to her. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. Let’s cover very briefly. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. She on the other hand. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. longer hours at the office. In relationships. This is natural. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. When his partner complains that they never see each other. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. on the other hand. Next would be their children. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. then hobbies. secure and © Copyright 2003. But let’s look into the future several months. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. The emotional. is quite a bit different. his career. When they first meet. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. And boy do they do relate. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for.net 87 . She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. I really do mean attraction. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. he cannot understand why. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. outgoing. To her partner it is his career. With the physical female. After all. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. For the physical. Their first priority is their career. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure.
to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. When we are healthy and balanced. to get clear on your goals for the future. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. © Copyright 2003. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. though. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. sadness. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. releasing occurs naturally. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. Interestingly enough. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. Sometimes. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. Release anger. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. What can be done about this. When you understand how the other thinks. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with.net 88 . But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. With communication you can understand each other. This is done through imagery and suggestion. communication is key to any successful relationship. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. The process is quick. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. fear and guilt. Plenty.
These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. hurt. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. physical. body and emotions. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. Ph. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. positive thoughts. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. unpredictability and lack of control. process and recall information. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. use your downloadable sessions first. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. If your subconscious is ready.net 89 . anger. Both techniques are effective. Negative expectations. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.D. That may been all you need at this time. and emotional states. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. fears. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. doubts. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you.
build in ways to recoup your energy. Rather. reading a book. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As you add them to your day. each and every day. Think and say. It’s going to be a gloomy. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. in and of © Copyright 2003. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. taking in a deep breathe. make a choice to expect positive results. You wake up and your first thought might be. For example. You give energy away to other people. Many rituals are quite simple. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. “It’s gray and cloudy. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks.net 90 . you are ready for it. Rest is any activity. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. to your computer.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. and in countless other interactions. over the telephone. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. You spend mental. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. As you spend energy during the day. boring day. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen.
For example. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. guilt. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. anger. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. rhythmic breathing.net 91 . linking it with a unique physical action. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. after working at your computer for an hour. which is pleasurable and restorative. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. fatigue. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. frustration. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. and anxiety. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. nervousness.itself. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Influence Management: Before any performance. You’ve © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. and discarding the emotion. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. After a 90-minute presentation. you are less able to concentrate on your task. When you carry negative emotions like fear. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand.
can be viewed as a distraction. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . try to use the same type of focal point. . as I walk in the door or up to the podium. If you are in your office or in a conference room. Yet. This leads to a less than stellar performance. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. even if it is a good thing. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. consciously look at your focal point. but when it came time to start. She chose a cloud as her focal point. it also had drifted off.net 92 . works well.simply applied a band-aid. Before you perform. you might choose a banner. If you travel. back to my task. © Copyright 2003. “OK. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. such as a doorframe. I “turn on” my full engagement. body and emotions that it is time to perform. As I cross the line. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. . it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. A tangible engagement cue. It immediately precedes the performance and says. a piece of art. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. prior to a presentation or meeting. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. As you travel or perform in different locations. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. Any time you get distracted. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. For example. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. I image a red line on the floor. or a clock on the wall. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance.
happier. It will throw you off. Inc. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. performance coach. and food as relaxation or coping techniques..net 93 . J. Mollie Marti.molliemarti. This means that if you get away from your rituals. including caffeine and adrenaline. better. As part of this process.bestlifedesign. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. concentration. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. is President of Best Life Design. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. Visit her at www. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. and healthier lives. mediator. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet.D. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. they will provide great consistency. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. alcohol. it won’t feel right. and success. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine..com or www. If you cannot identify your rituals. Ph. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.D. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. © Copyright 2003. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. successful entrepreneur. lawyer.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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kelp. leafy vegetables. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. brown rice. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. cabbage. Calcium. You need eat more avocados. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. apricots. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. apples. fish. salmon. Almonds. Vitamin B12. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. moodiness and nervousness. such as hormonal imbalances. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. causing irritability and nervousness. seafood. depression. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. irritability. garlic. Calcium rich foods are almonds. worry. mustard greens. bananas. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle.to be one of the first things that goes.net 97 . spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. prunes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. asparagus. oats. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. © Copyright 2003. chronic fatigue. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. irritability. etc. Unfortunately. broccoli. fear. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. sesame seeds. Vitamin B6. kale. impatience. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. blood sugar fluctuations. depression. exhaustion.
to work away your tension. tuna and whole grains. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. carrots and turnips). Sing. such as a squishy ball.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. mood swings. I know mine always have been).Folic acid. a founder of NaturalCounselor. salmon. barley. green leafy vegetables.naturalcounselor. Call a friend. mushrooms.com © Copyright 2003. our family? So let us be stress smart. lentils. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. legumes. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly.net 98 . though. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. In addition. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. insomnia or lack of energy. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Squeeze a squishy ball. Start squeezing something. but if something happens to us. oatmeal. our cortisol levels drop. Kiss. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. who will take care of our children. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. you must relax.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. brown rice. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. nobody will. oranges. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. dates. root vegetables (such as potatoes. Bottom line though. Walk.
it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. if you are having a problem with money. According to the laws of physics. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. For example. If you wake up today affirming an illness.net 99 . there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. a feeling. but to the energy of the present moment. If you wake up today focusing on debt. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. I used to feel that way often. I know I have. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. Energy is constantly in motion. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. because you cannot stand still. If you understand that. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you.
vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. our results suggest. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. for most people. © Copyright 2003. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. In a follow-up experiment published last year. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. really.D. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. Ph. it doesn’t matter why it works. can influence the body to heal itself. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. You don’t have to create change. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. and elastic. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Pain sufferers.D.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. Hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999.. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. It is only important that it does. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. Ph. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. During the sessions. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. the truth is. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. smooth.” Ginandes says.net 100 . “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. You need to make room for change. for example.” So. And. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. meanwhile.
the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Take your time with this. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. When you have determined the directions of past and future. © Copyright 2003. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take responsibility for your life and direction.net 101 . for you happiness and your abundance. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. There is no correct answers. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. to the left or to the right. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. look down on the Time Line. Remember. it is what feels best for you. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. If it’s behind you. your love and your joy. Remember.
This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. you made a mistake.net 102 . I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. © Copyright 2003. You procrastinated. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. You need them to tell you to be strong. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). Sometimes what you need. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. bad things just happen.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. Without getting specific about each of them. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. even if they cannot give it back. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. I’d like you to consider another alternative. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. you stuck by the wrong person. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. It might not have looked that way to others. It can look that way to others. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with.
For example. whatever feels right. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Spirituality. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 85. while another may be a Wiccan. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. another may practice Hinduism. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. First. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Picture yourself at age 80. 90. etc. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. © Copyright 2003. VICTIMHOOD. you need to define what it is you want. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.net 103 .
© Copyright 2003. What areas cause you regret. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Figure it out early. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. you will certainly feel violated. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. then you’ve got a problem. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. mugged or even raped. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. Perhaps you are abused. Something very unpleasant. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. church and society. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. If it is what you believe. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. is you. but not only that. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. then your perception makes it right. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. What value areas of your life are you happy with.Now think back over your life. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. Think about all the value areas of your life. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. You might get angry. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. friends. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person.net 104 . That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. are you really meant to be together. However. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. Remember. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. or even the perceptions of our family. What you might think is wrong. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you.
is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. my mother didn’t give me enough love. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. it means you are not responsible for anything. And. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. Here in the U..” But. my mother didn’t understand me. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much.net 105 . You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. however. and society actually encourages this thought. my kids don’t show me any respect. But just take a moment now and really think about it. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me.. my wife doesn’t understand me. Life. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. happiness and joy available to each of us. my friends don’t understand me. But now. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. for what you do and what you say. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. A rather sad.I want you to consider something. etc. etc. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. It wasn’t fun. etc. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. my husband ignores me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power.S.
you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. Simply. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. Fixing a problem in one place though. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. For example. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. etc.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. build self-confidence. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. never © Copyright 2003. can often help the other.net 106 . The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. is powerful beyond belief. beautiful heart and so much love to give. If we take back control.who you are. 2006. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. As stated in Woman’s World. etc. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. boost your mood. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. September 26. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. eventually. feel more loved. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. it is the ability to enjoy life. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been.. we lose everything. bad relationship and can keep on going. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. each of us. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You had to be strong. If that is taken away from us . One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. please. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. Remember.
you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Use the power of your mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So. relieve pain. © Copyright 2003. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. can change how your feel. If you are feeling down.net 107 . increase your self-confidence. your imagination. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. Is essence. depressed or negative.
Not only that. WORDS. First one. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. however. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. included six small meals a day. If. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day.. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. before facts have actually been verified. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously.W WEIGHT. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. scientists. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. diet and weight. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. the only diet that had ever worked for them. etc. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. 5. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The truth is. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. 4.net 108 . dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. refined. bleached flour. Confusing. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. it’s good again.) 3. alcohol.e.
20. 19. 7. 17. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. Do you eat breakfast? 15.net 109 . Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 8. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 18.6. 10. Has your mother. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. © Copyright 2003. Out of all the food you eat in a day. Do you associate a person. 9.
WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. you know that as strange as it may sound. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim.net 110 . they include abandonment issues. We heal from physical injuries. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You know © Copyright 2003. You had to be strong. survivors. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. self-confidence. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. Abuse victims. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. More often than not. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. WRONG! Words have power. satisfaction. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence and happiness. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are.Now. having said all that. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. by working it. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. a lack of fulfillment.
most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. scream and yell and swear all you want. find out what you can do. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events.net 111 . If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. This is why “words” do have so much power. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. throughout your life entire life. But when you are with someone you care about. someone will answer. wider and stronger each and every day. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Think and dream about your future. When this occurs. your talent. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. but not only that. Make some calls. Once said they are out there forever. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. dreams and desires. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. As a matter of fact. lover.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. But most of all. And that’s what venting to another is. I have to say this. Vent when you are alone. this planet needs you. keep your thoughts strong. Your life depends on it After all. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. husband. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. intelligence and compassion. But you are wrong. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. The same holds true for what you hear.because I say it over and over again. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. And for each of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. call out for help. Also. words can hurt you. wife. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can.
much like arthritis in wet weather. If you can do this. or. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. However. when things are going smoothly.net 112 . © Copyright 2003. especially in interpersonal situations. can help. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you do not feel ready for that. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.withdraw into ourselves. Releasing sessions can work well with these.
what is different and better. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. your energy will flow in that direction. drinker. the body you want. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Once you decide that you want to quit. © Copyright 2003. Notice how you feel. healthy. vital. you have a decision to make. energy. vibrant. strong. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly.X X SMOKER. are you now sure which one you want. clear skin. Notice what you see. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Before you make that decision. Wait 10-20 seconds. Wait 10-20 seconds. Whatever it is. doesn’t it?. Of these two possible futures in your life. binger or whatever. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. the decision becomes easy. Make a commitment and a decision. When you have done this. very clearly. clear and easy breathing. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. And now let those images fade completely away. What do you look like. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 113 . DRINKER. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. drinking. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. BINGER ETC. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Make a promise to yourself. You can choose to live your life.
success. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your entire belief system. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. Everything in life is a choice.net 114 . joy. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making.com. When you first begin to work your muscles. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. © Copyright 2003. you may never receive it. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. you can only lift a small amount of weight. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. In making a choice. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. For instance. Compare it to strength training. your life script. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you always have a choice. a better job. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. it does not mean you will receive it. happiness. So. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here.
makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. check it out at www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle.According to Holly. looking around. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. © Copyright 2003. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. check it regularly.com To me. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed.hollygleason.net 115 .
or ideal and the determination to further that person. please do it with zeal and without apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. cause. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cause. intensity and passion. An antonym is apathy.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. And always remember this.net 116 . fight for your dreams and your goals. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life.
Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. There are 15 points. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you.” and the “sore spot. While you are doing these three karate chops. © Copyright 2003. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. To make this even more effective. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. You can also visualize this word in your mind. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.” “gamut spot. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal.net 117 . but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises.
fear. 2. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 11. or anything you want changed. This is not a sentence. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 6.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time.net 118 .Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. Do what feels right for you. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 9. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. You can go through the tapping process several times. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. 10. 4. 8. but do each issue separately. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 5. 7. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. or DEPRESSED. anxiety.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 3. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. you can use just one or two words.” © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 12. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. or AFRAID.
It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. uncross your arms and legs. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. © Copyright 2003. emotions.net 119 . After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. your connection with yourself is complete. I love myself. hurt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. resentment or negativity away.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs.” And that’s all there is to it. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. And as your heart fire increases. ideas and beliefs within yourself. And as your heart fire increases. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. As you do this. By burning away all anger and negativity. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. feelings. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. you open all pathways to love. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. you also release all negative thoughts. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire.
feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. See it. days. taking this time right now for myself. Then when you are ready.e. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. hours. If another color comes to mind. weeks. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else..PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. Then imagine or visualize white granules. heal yourself and relax yourself. like salt. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. see the image). cleansing breath in and let it out. smell it. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Take yourself fully into this place. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. If you feel like it and have the time. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. months or even years to be released. hear the waves and the birds. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body.net 120 . hear it (i. allow that color to flow in and out as well. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. smell the salt. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. anyplace. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. at the beach. it can be a room or someplace outdoors.
number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. © Copyright 2003. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. emotions. my guy and I are in love. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. activity. You are in charge of your healing and your life. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. Let go of all tightness within you. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. yourself. thoughts and feelings. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. or whatever it is your desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relationship. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”.net 121 . I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. You are in control and in charge of your body. Here’s my snapshot. happy and having fun together. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times.
I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I choose to forget past mistakes now. With my thoughts I create my new. I vibrate with positive energy. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. positive delightful reality. © Copyright 2003. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now.net 122 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I keep saying ranch until that image. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. live in the moment and dream in the future. I say to myself RANCH.
.. 44.......... 129 diet ....... 104................ 21......... 20... 88.... 53........ 78 forgiveness.. 86... 61.... 3 addiction ... 19. 3.... 95.... 78..... 18.... 10 binging . 32... 35... 35.... 77............ 14.. 37.... 89 fear 1. 59... 47...... 75... 32.. 43... 94........ 44.....24. 126... 109. 24 eating disorders...... 116 disease...... 60....... 22.......5.... 93... 46.... 126.. 44.. 77.... 114.. 10....... 38..... 78 EFT . 121 drug abuse......... 21. 130 epilepsy . 109... 29.......... 107 Cheryl O’Neil . 35............ 37.. 117... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 80.. 44. 116....... 21... 31..... 104....... 60. 50.... 73. 19......... 92...........21 Arreed Barabasz . 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ...... 22............ 58....net i ...... 84.. 126 adrenalin ... 35. 83.. 7. 9........ 105 darkest hour . 105.24. 6..... 128 anxiety 7................ 33... 44.... 27. 98........ 23... 74....... 76 desire.... 21.... 7 attraction ..... 38......... 26............ 47............... 45...... 104. Ph.... 78........... 55 emotional freedom technique ......... 101.... 37.2... 6.... 43... 38. 103............ 76..... 50.. 57........ 37. 78.... 127. 78 alternative programs ...... 7....1.. 24.. 76... 52..... 89 balance . 66. 27...............D.. 5........ 27......... 42.. 67. 116 Bereavement .... 24. 5... 127.. 118 consciousness 8... 26.. 87.. 32. 89. 125. 97...... 44. 48..... 94.. 79 Carol Ginandes. 38...Index 12-step programs .... 60... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma........ 74....38.. 34. 90 coronary disease...... 50... 46............. 6. 114...... 5.. 15..... 114..... 4... 47.. 127. 91.. 23. 77. 42. 6... 78 cortisol . 81.. 104.. . 112 compassion .... 121.......... 71.. 96...... 3...... 97. 35.. 114. 103...... 76.... 12. 60.............. 36.... 54. 94...... 37. 28...........7........ 94. 21. 35...... 21... 45... 53........ 73 depression ....88 clarity 9... 80..... 123...... 63.. 36.... 78 affirmations.............. 63......................... 74.. 129 alcoholism.. 113. 22. 30 Eric Butterworth ... 54..... 110 communication ... 38.. 45.. 90.... 36..30.. 64. 88. 31.... 71. 119.. 41...... 32........ 63. 10... 62. 37... 63. 129 food addictions.... 79. 57... 56.. 52............ 122 chronic anger ....5.. 28. 79....... 6.. 79 cancer.1......... 94 baggage....... 39.. 97. 106..... 37. 36...... 44....... 5..2.. 121.......... 81.. 78.....3.... 43...... 118 acute pain.. 30..... 55.121 blood sugar .. 102....... 46. 60.. 119.......... 94.... 65............ 70... 78 E&P attraction .... 72.8 Adrian Calabrese. 89.. 16... 58..... 23......... 35... 96..... 97... 20. 102.86 addict ...... 4.. 103. 78........ 106. 99.......... 115.. 94....... 97.. 12 Elvira Lang ..53......86 Circle Therapy .. 8. 95 © Copyright 2003. 3 Alzheimer’s . 30. 97... 84.... 22.. 31..... 43..... 96.... 21..... 25... 71... 94. 95. 72............ 45. 90...... . 128....... 106.. 104. 131 dreams 22... 119 confidence. 129.. 2. 47........ 41....... 81...... 55...7..... 114......... 113 Abraham Hicks .2.. 25... 26... 2...... 130 apprehension. 95.. 81.. 33.. Ph.... 89......125 anger ... 52........ 79 dream 1...58 choice2... 5. 1. 6... 39..... 78 chronic pain .5....... 21 David Spiegel.. 36...... 110......D. 35.. 6....... 21.......... 36.. 81...9. 7........ 79.. 122.107 abuse 5... 4. 32. 101.... 98.... 71. 58... 7.. 32.......54 association ......... 42.................. 130 focus. 102. 27....... 52....... 70..30 anchor .. 112... 56.......... 76. 6. 125 energy .... 48. 8...... 6... 55 Dawn Abraham ..... 91.. 5. 46..........5.... 78...2........ 124 drinking.............
. 113. 86.............. 99.. 32... 36.. 54...... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .. 53...... 54.... 43.. 35......... 58. 83 Roger Callahan . 22.... 66..... 78........... 47. 50.83 John Kappas. 79... 77.. 79...... 129 grief. 87... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ... 45... 92...... 30.... 54... 16....32 hypnotherapy .. 89. 65. 15. 37.. 17 Janet Luhrs.......... 67...... 103.... 21..net ii ... 59.. 79... 77... 13.. 43.... 29.. 79.. 79.. 54......... 32. 84 panic attacks.... 69. 31............ 37...... 30.... 33... 10. 35.... 5...... 32.. 53.. 57..28 John Grinder . 42.. 125 immune suppression ...... 1.......... 59. 118........ 57.. 83....... 54........... 77..11.... 74. 50.. 14. 76..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology........... 57. 8....... 116. 107.... 89..... 88... 46...... 27.... 19.......... 86 habits... 113 prosperity ... 34.. 15.......... 128 Richard Bandler . Woods . 37 self-esteem ... 78 NLP. 36 Guilt ......... 102......... 2...... 112.. 81.......... 118. 38. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 101 self-image ........ 6........ 119....... 7........ 116 happiness ...........3.......... 32. 43..... 77.. 30. 36... 40. 63..... 32 phobia .... 78.. 58..... 60.............. 26.... 119...24.. 78..... 105 Jane C. 125.. 5. 78.. 125 men . 6......... 47. 47............. 77... 113.. 6. 57.... 127 hypersuggestible ..30 high blood pressure.... 101...... 8......... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ......... 58..... 63.... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .... 44... 93 message units . 122. 10...... 51..... 37.. 109....40........ 67.....1. 120 relaxation .. 37.... 118...... 108 Parkinson’s disease. 25... 95.. 52. 86..... 6..... 43..... 77............... 87. 110............................... 79. 57...... 58............ 130 Judith DeLozier ......8.. 83 Robert Dilts.. 30 passive-aggressive . 94..... 47.. 60................ 115....... 75.......... 53..... 9........ 7.. 89 phobias........36 joy ......... 101..... 127........... 39..... 109.. 7................. 29. 86.37.... 103.............. 114............... 76... 71 life force... 120... 121 relationships24....... 129 resentment. 28.... 22.... 37. 34...8 hypnosis ...... 121 snapshot ..... 94 mood swings . 43.. 57.......7..... 84....... 115........ 85.. 122 Ida Kendall .10... 127.. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice...... 87 lose weight 4.........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .........83 Law of Attraction.. 115 smoking..... 117 medicine.... 77....... 9.. 105.... 77. 107... 28.... 42..9.. 94....32 illness 36... 6... 59.. 47..... 78.. 42......7.................... 78..... 58......... 110..... 129 heart disease.......... 39... 89................. 21. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003........................ 5.10. 56...... 10. 26......... 99......... 59.... 55.2... 83 overload ........ 5. 37........... 49... 27..... 114 imagery .....5........ 56.....76 Hridaya Yoga.. 83 nitric oxide ... 78. 39.... 107 healing ...... 110........... 53.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis...... 109..... 58.... 6 Pat Dennis....... 3........... 13.......... 109...... 88...... 117......fulfillment ... 57 neural interconnections ........ 118 Gary Craig ...... 53.. 122 Harvard ... 22............... 21.............................. 56.. 43.... 35..54 Irina Wardas . 67.... 46......... 21...... 87. 37 powerless ............. 53.......... 77.. 77........... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute .... 111........ 22...... 56.. 79..... 56. 4. 23.. 78...... 58..... 6............ 65...... 44..... 22............. 37................... 78.. 47... 107........5.. 76...... 128..35 goal ... 56 hurt. 118 self-talk . 29 neuro pathways .... 64. 58..........12 habit ... 64............ 123...... 93....... 95. 38.. 38..... 10....9. 37.............10.. 30.............. 120.... 10. 59........
............ 101..net iii .. 78......................... 110 Two Futures .. 37......... 114 visualization......... 115........ 36.......6.. 109 triggers . 114 triggering event ... 48.. 114 weight ............... 78 subconscious.. 26............... 10.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att...... 44.53 transformation.........44.....4...... 95... 125. 116 Women........... 78........... 6.... 80...... 30............... 45.............Stephen Gilligan ..... 46...... 59.. 77......... 30..... 120 suicide. 58.............. 21. 43... 77.... 6................. 8............... 59.. 122........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .... 113... 118..... 122 zeal..5...... 94. 47.... 85.......................... 5....... 57...... 84..... 95....... 91.. 37.. 121 value areas of life................ 107....................... 37. 124 © Copyright 2003.... 111 victimhood ..................... 22............... 109... 65...... 6. 79... 34.........83 Stephen Kosslyn ........ 47....... 77. 5.... 7....... 79 thought habits . 2...... 106 wounds .......... 109................. 39....... 60......57 stress hormones .. 112... 77. 56. 29...... 34.......107 trigger......... 128 subconsciously......... 85...... 75.. 120 yummy list ........... 38.............. 7.
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