An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. emotions and perceptions. . This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. when given the proper instructions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. feelings. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. As I said before. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. neuro pathways. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself.

................8 CHANGE.................................18 COMMUNICATION .3 ANGER .......................................................................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE........... ANXIETY....5 ANXIETY . FORGIVENESS..........................................................................26 DIETING .....................................................................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...........................3 AFFIRMATIONS...........31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...21 DEPRESSION....................................8 BEREAVEMENT ...........46 SMART GOALS ............ F........................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.........29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...........................................1 ADDICTION ...................... ADDICTION..................................43 GOALS .................. D......................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).... FOCUS.......... DIETING..............32 EMOTIONS............................................................................................ ANGER.. C.........................................8 BALANCE ......................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ................................................................................................................................................................................................ EMOTIONS...................... E.............37 FABULOUS .................................37 FEAR ................................... FEAR................................. DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...................................................1 ABUNDANCE ...................................................................................................................................................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE..................................................................................... AFFIRMATIONS..2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .................46 B.................................. G........40 FOCUS ... ........................................................................ BEREAVEMENT ................26 DEPRESSION .. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS..34 ENERGY ............................................................................................................35 FABULOUS.....................7 BALANCE........................................................................................................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ......................................................................... ENERGY ..................

.......... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)........................................................................................... PERCEPTION........................................................................59 JEALOUSY.........................................................................................................................................78 PAIN....... M..........63 KARMA ................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION... ....................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).............................72 MIND SUCCESS ........ KISMET ........................................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ..................................................................... PROSPERITY ....... N........................................................................63 KISMET ........... PHOBIAS............65 LIFE.............52 IMAGERY.............................70 MALE DEPRESSION.............................. LIFE.................................................................................49 HEALING ... P............. INTUITION..............................49 HEART FIRE ................... MIND SUCCESS .................................54 INTUITION...........................80 PAIN.............59 KARMA.................................. K.........................................................................82 PROSPERITY ....................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ................67 LOVE..... HEALING................................80 PERCEPTION .................. J.....H....... O................................................... HYPNOSIS.....................56 JEALOUSY ................. L...................................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION....................................................................................................................81 PHOBIAS .............................................68 LUCK ........................ LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.................................................................... LUCK ...............................................................................................................51 HYPNOSIS........................... LOVE...54 IMAGERY................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ............................................................77 OVERLOAD............................................84 I......... Q....................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ..........63 LAW OF ATTRACTION................................................................................................................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION....

.......111 X SMOKER....................................................................................... Z.................................................................. STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)................................................................................................... V........................... BINGER ETC ....................................................104 VISUALIZATION ....95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE.... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS..........113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.................................................................................................................................................................... i....................................... iii .... WOUNDS ...........89 SELF-CONFIDENCE........................................................................................ VISUALIZATION..........................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)............................................................... STUCK .....108 WORDS........................................................ DRINKER....................... Y..............................................96 STUCK ....................................................122 INDEX ..................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE...............................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ... RELATIONSHIPS...88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS .......114 YUMMY LIST ..............114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...........106 WEIGHT...................................... VICTIMHOOD................................................................. U...............103 VALUE AREAS...................116 S..........................................94 STRESS ..........94 SELF-TALK..........113 TWO FUTURES ...................................................................................... EXERCISES ....................................................... T................ X..........................................86 RELATIONSHIPS .............................................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE................ WORDS....... W.......... YUMMY LIST ...........................86 RELEASING ............................... ii...........................................................................................R.................................................. SELF-TALK..............................................................................114 ZEAL .................................................................108 WEIGHT ...........103 VICTIMHOOD ........... RELEASING......................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS...94 SELF CONFIDENCE....

and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. we don’t trust it to be real. AFFIRMATIONS. The future. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. It is our perception of any event. ANGER. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. Even when we know we have this tool. however. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. it is filled with laughter. money and success. © Copyright 2003. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. indeed. fear of failure. occurrence. ADDICTION. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. excitement and yes. satisfying. think we are making progress or stagnating. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. a life that is rich and full. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. As a result. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. fear of success. Fear of change. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. usually as a result of fear. love. even worse.A ABUNDANCE. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. Because of this. having an abundant life means you are living a 1 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. incident. In order to make changes.

to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. and life just gets better and better. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. People without strong desires slowly whither away. Unfortunately. cocaine. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. It is important though. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. however. As unpopular and harsh as this may 2 . The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. the more connected you feel. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. at least while they are using their drug. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. at least for a while. Allow that desire to flow through you. so. i. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. alcohol. no matter what program you are going through.. helps them suppress the pain. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. Your first step. you do have a choice. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use.e. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. A tempo that is magnetic. who you can call when you feel you might slip. however. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. the more vibrant and alive you become. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer.

We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. if it is not done. www. NewBeginnings www. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going.passagesmalibu. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. www. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. Many people. but you don’t have The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. A friend of mine once told me. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. the addict. you will forever remain an addict. then you. don’t really use affirmations in the best way 3 . it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.practicalrecovery.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. I agree with this school of thought.habitdoc. so. However. When you face this pain that you have been running from. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. The sooner we realize and accept that. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.secularsobriety.

net 4 . when what you really mean is.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. that’s like moving uphill. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. So. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. If necessary. Don’t let fear hold you back. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. not what you want to avoid. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. When you move towards what you want. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. your computer. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system.” Or “I will lose weight. always focus on what you want to move towards.” • State your affirmations in the positive. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. then that means you are on the right track.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. © Copyright 2003.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. • Always remember this. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want.” Or say. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally.” the message sent to your mind. When you do this. • Be specific. Always create an image of what you want in your life. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. the steering wheel of your car.

chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. eating disorders. In situations that cause fear. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds 5 . Not only is this destructive to you. In addition. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. Even if we bury anger deep inside. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. it can be just as damaging. can lead to serious food addictions. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. hostility. shaking. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. and heart palpitations. going from one trauma to the next. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. looking for justice and revenge. So. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. you may see yourself as an avenger. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. and in small doses can be a good thing. If you see yourself as a victim. Holding onto anger. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. then anger becomes a serious health risk. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. hurt. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. fatigue. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cold hands. resentment. But some people seem to be angry all the time. crying. When this is the case. drug abuse and depression. anger is the most common response. alcoholism. When a relationship ends. along with mourning. you may blame others for your situation or condition.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. however. © Copyright 2003. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. coronary disease. releasing your anger. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. 6 . it will never go away. and depression. but anger that may be directed at you by others. Unfortunately. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. In the past. If you feel powerless. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. expressing your anger in an indirect way. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. Power and anger are frequently related. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. Also. and even increased workplace injuries. sarcastic. and stubborn. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. alcohol and drug abuse. bitterness. and can lead to serious food addictions. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. cancer. fear and hurt. suicide.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. and can help make you more content.

net 7 . It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. being home alone. etc. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. Fears. nausea. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. flying. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. weakness. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. fear or anxiety. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. Also.). Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. mood swings. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. driving a car. © Copyright 2003. anxiety. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. shakiness. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. fear or anxiety.

it didn’t work. Just think about that a moment. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. place or thing that can make you 8 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The problem was. you know. Twelve hours of day and night. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. No one can tell you how to be happy. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. that happiness must come from within ourselves. let them be a reminder to look inside. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. There isn’t another person. No matter what you hear. a perfect balance. Good advice. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. then he’d really truly be happy. getting involved with a church. I told him the usual stuff. Happiness. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. right? Yes and no. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else.B BALANCE. then it would make him happy as well. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Sometimes we need reminders.

feeling. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. if we are angry. fulfillment and life find you. and in doing so.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. even the words we use. It will. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. That means stop analyzing everything so much. desire. No matter how hard we may try. stop thinking it to death. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. our voice. job or whatever you are seeking. the right kind of suggestions. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. happiness. But even more than that. Whether it’s an emotion. In this state. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. jane@changingpeople. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. working for you. They allow you to clear out the old. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions.” I realized that’s the problem and the You are able to access your subconscious. goal. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. Woods. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. to balance the light and dark within 9 . Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help.the intensity and duration may differ. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . That said. and generally we prefer not to think about it. and so on. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. It is an immutable part of the human condition. just a little. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. To a degree that can be true. letting relevant people know. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. © Copyright 2003. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. 10 . And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. you must do what is right for you. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. for example. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article.

If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. disconcertingly. we may be compelled to visit the scene. “If I do this. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. For example. Some enlightened doctors know. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. is a refusal to believe the news. and just plain wrong. This is where someone less involved can offer help. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. We may need evidence.Denial A second common response. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. Often that is enough. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. uncaring. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. once the first shock waves have abated. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. © Copyright 2003. Help them tell you their feelings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. or those suffering alongside us. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. or for feeling angry. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill 11 . It is unrealistic but again. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. a normal response. recognizing it and naming it. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. we may need to be told several times. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. when they are breaking bad news to patients. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences.

although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. when our behaviour. and even our clothing. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. just let it go. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. For example. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. how to manage our grief. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. even perhaps depressed. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. I have lost someone significant in my life’. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. was decreed. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. You cannot short circuit this 12 . like fundraising for a particular charity.

Let close friends offer you comfort. however it feels. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. This does not mean forgetting them. not in any sense. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may find. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. feeling there is no point. © Copyright 2003. we experiment with new ways of behaving. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. However hard it is. be it with a handshake or a hug. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. ask them. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has 13 . perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. we begin to move on. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. and this will of course vary from person to person. But actually. which can be a comfort. So. People want to help but they often don’t know how. such as excessive use of alcohol. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. you never go right back to the beginning. Experiment At some point. in this phase. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. If you need a hug. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs.

taking flowers to an appropriate place. ritual can be helpful at this time. Literally. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. or an offer of help with the shopping. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. whether for you personally. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. surrounded by people. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Knowing this can help you plan for it. I hope it has been helpful however. a card sincerely written. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. be it lighting candle. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. be it taking some homemade food round. If you can. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. take medical advice. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. as I have said. Again. Helping In Western 14 . her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Of course. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so we need to use our discretion. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity.” © Copyright 2003.

by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. The Stages of Change © Copyright This phase goes on for ages or not too long. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. we can get very fed up. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Just remember this. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. How to Cope with Change By Jane In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Sometimes. depending on the severity of the change. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your 15 . Some people embrace change and some resist it. some anecdotal. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. even depressed. almost no one likes it. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. and some simply telling you how to do it. jane@changingpeople. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS.C CHANGE. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Sometimes.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Woods. depending on the change. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. some research based. Finally.

you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. A Story Here is a short story about change. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less 16 . You are speechless at first. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Worse. However. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. It may ring a bell with you. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. You are feeling bright and chirpy. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Finding they are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. “What?” you say. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. © Copyright 2003. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else.

vulnerable. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. That is a fact to record on the top line. For example. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you.But then. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. angry. or determined to make more effort. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below.. joy of joys. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. and. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. Use two different colours if you like. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then.. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. For example. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these 17 . but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. no one but you is going to see this. did it make you sad. don’t just focus on the negatives. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. yes. So.

we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. Sometimes. our thoughts. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. Similarly with our responses to change. For example. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. while another may be much more fatalistic. overloaded message units and repressed fears. They begin almost imperceptibly. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. as the dawn progresses. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. our responses to change are individual and personal. another to frown and feel aggrieved. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. However. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. are funny things. Dawns. Actually. One may approach it in a positive way. and therefore our 18 . no one makes us feel anything. But as the sun rises. The same principle applies to you. Obviously. Then. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. © Copyright 2003. At first. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. however. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time.

It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. For example. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. © Copyright 2003. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. you are in essence training your mind. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. need or want. Giving you the feeling of freedom. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Be absolutely clear about what you want. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. relaxation. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. apprehension and fear. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. given enough time and repetition. however. you start to believe it yourself. When this happens. confused or fearful. 19 . It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. clumsy. Unfortunately. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. see the right path. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. even our physical health and well being. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. you do not need to feel this way. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). If you are starting to feel anxious.anxiety and emotions. but will actually consider them an order. remember “dawn” can and will happen. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. detailed imprint of what you desire. confidence. Ultimately. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you.

eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. You will feel stronger. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. realizing all the possibilities available to you. As Abraham Lincoln once said. Know that no matter what things might look like. Guide them. so. it is a journey. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. enjoy this article by Heath 20 . the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. all of your life. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. want and desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then the real fun can start. yoga. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. you always have a choice. It’s the life in your years. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. you are actually living the life you want.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. It does make a difference. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap.” So live your life fully.achieving prosperity. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. does and will continue to offer you what you need. you need to be aware. confidence and trust. Trust that the Universe has. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. If you want a New Beginning. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. mold them and do it over and over again. with clarity. abundance. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. in addition.

net 21 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. The problem is that we communicate differently. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. look and listen. I truly believe that faith. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. It is important not to go looking for your sign. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. yellow balloon. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. engage and listen. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. dolphins . our answers are all around us.knowing. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. courage. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. © Copyright 2003. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships.

Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. An example would be. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. but E&P affects. enjoys spur of the moment activities. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Communication. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. however. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. opposites really do attract. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. So. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. how they can come apart. These two types. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. whatever when upset. if you ask a physical if they are cold. and how natural and normal this is. possibly even throws things when angry. It is the physical who yells. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly 22 . is so much more than simple questions. © Copyright 2003. screams. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. it isn’t. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. they will answer yes or no. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. among other things.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. First. people don’t realize just how true this is. the way we communicate with each other. cries. In relationships. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking.

when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. It becomes a vicious circle. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Remember though. This E&P communication. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to.The same thing occurs when communicating. the more the physical pushes. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. they can ruin lives. however is just one part of communication. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can see how this could be problematic. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. 23 . Since we tend to project our thoughts. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. Also. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Words have power. You had to be strong. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Conversely. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. We heal from physical injuries. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. © Copyright 2003. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be.

We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. find out what you can do. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. The same holds true for what you hear. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. As a matter of fact. This is why “words” do have so much power. call out for help. Make some calls. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. But most of all.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Think and dream about your future. but not only that. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. wider and stronger each and every day. throughout your life entire life. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. intelligence and compassion. dreams and desires. bad relationship and can keep on going. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. someone will answer. this planet needs you. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Your life depends on it After all. your talent. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. keep your thoughts strong. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. beautiful heart and so much love to give. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your 24 . just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. You know because I say it over and over again. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Also. each of us. But you are wrong. leave. by working it. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. © Copyright 2003. is powerful beyond belief.

Each of us. Once said they are out there forever. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. wife. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. husband. Vent when you are alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scream and yell and swear all you want. © Copyright 2003. But when you are with someone you care about. words can destroy 25 . And that’s really what venting to another person is. words can hurt you. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. our child.

but in essence they are just like any other habit. suicidal feelings. DIETING. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. According to Dr. conditions and illnesses. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. and just like any other habit.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons.D DEPRESSION. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. however. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. According to Dr. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. AND -.even into very advanced old age. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. As research continues in this is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. Jill Ammon-Wexler.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. Researchers like 26 . Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . depression. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. In fact. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as is created. anger or a sense of helplessness and is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. if we want to. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. In addition. if this work fulfills its potential. © Copyright 2003. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. Miller goes on to stress. thought patterns and thought habits. No one is born with such a brain -. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Dr.

” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. what we say to ourselves. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. I just want to be happy. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a 27 . Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. etc. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want.use it or lose it. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. Think about that a moment. though. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. I don’t want to be around negative people. healthy muscles. “unhappy”. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. fulfilled life. even more importantly. What it does understand. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. © Copyright 2003. What we think. “disappointed in my relationships”. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. on a subconscious level. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Bruce Cohen. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Take responsibility for your thoughts. stroke and Alzheimer’s. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Reflect on the positive. Fixing one problem can often help the other. Massachusetts. Woman’s World. 100 times more. Parkinson’s disease. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms.D. 2005. it will continue to go on. many people are also realizing that much of their pain.” observes Dr. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. reflect on the contrary. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Ph. is originating on a deeper. including cancer. heart disease. Pay attention to what you are thinking. subconscious level. with the aid of 28 . you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. So. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.. whether it is physical or emotional. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. October 18. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. epilepsy. When there is negative thinking. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level.

we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. test or theory. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The first diet included six small meals a day. diet and weight. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. we are really only getting part of the story. When most of us think about diet and 29 . but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. Part of one study. especially our young women. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Confusing. the second diet was only three meals a day. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. then we were told maybe it isn’t. never a comparison with all the other studies. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. is bad for you. And throughout all of it. and these are serious issues indeed. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. Chocolate was bad for you. any kind of fat. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. but in addition. The truth is. sometimes to death. people. particularly among our young people. especially in the United States. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. we just don’t want to do it. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). First we were told that fat. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. and of course. © Copyright 2003. it seems as if all the doctors. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. now again we are hearing. according to the New York Times.

awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. © Copyright 2003. by taking control of our thoughts. Releasing negative thoughts. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. In fact. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. As we live our lives. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy 30 . confidence or happiness. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. one of the first things I tell them is. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. With the internet available to all of us. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. both emotional and physical. weight issues are rarely just about weight. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. it can include abandonment issues. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. Knowledge is indeed power. and getting the right kind of support and advice. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. satisfaction. Just as with any weight. As they discuss and teach in this workshop.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. a lack of fulfillment. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information.

© Copyright 2003. If you don’t like it. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. though just an illusion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though is not just about external fact. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. fear. You can continue the work on your own. take control of your thoughts and change your life. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. i. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. in fact. what do you see. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. anxiety and paranoia about non existent 31 . I keep going back to this one phrase.Knowledge. Look at yourself. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture.. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. what does your world look like. So wonderful. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. This is. that we keep going back to it. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.e. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. what do you think about. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. observe how you feel. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed.

EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. depression. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). posttraumatic stress 32 . anxiety. Not a hypothetical path. anger. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. As I’ve written before. including depression. general stress. has no value of its own. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. any negative experience. EMOTIONS. © Copyright 2003. fear. addictions and phobias. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. a negative experience itself. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. ENERGY. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety.

In addition. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. and more importantly. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. emptiness and anxiety. With regard to addictions. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. deprivation. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. do not use self-hypnosis. With or without hypnosis. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. to addiction. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. EFT can help with both the cravings. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as 33 . The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. weight loss to pain and illness. Remember. understanding the negative experience is not enough. war trauma or severe physical illness. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. As stated earlier. © Copyright 2003.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. resentment. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. hostility. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. but our physical health as well. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Likewise. Ryke Geerd Hamer. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. hurt and unforgiveness. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. For example. even more importantly. It can even be linked to suicide. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. By 34 . the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. hurt. One such study by Dr. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. accidents and increased workplace injuries. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. meditation.

pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). that we are out of balance. emotional suppression has become unconscious and 35 . Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. seems somewhat contradictory. Throughout this book you will find theories. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. such as genetics. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. vaccines. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. In addition to nurturing your mind. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. but it is not. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. whole grains. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.specifically. exposure to toxic substances. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. etc. pathogens. diet. In most cases of cancer. white flour. etc). it prevents depression. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.

stress. While listening to your hypnotherapist. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. but balance will return. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. imagery. So. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked 36 . your mind and body relax more and more deeply. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. Hypnosis can help you. © Copyright 2003. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork.who have the ability to relax more fully. or an inability to let go and just relax. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level.

THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. garlic liberally. turmeric. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. primary by reducing the inflammation. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. 2. try counting the chews in each bite. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Fruits and vegetables and spices. safflower and vegetable oils. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. Increase your intake of fish. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. The indigestible parts of fruits. © Copyright 2003.F FABULOUS. Eat the right foods. Their phytonutrients . • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates.carotenoids in carrots. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. until the food becomes liquid. which as we know reduce inflammation. soy. Healthy fats. Chew properly. Drink more water. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Fiber. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. FEAR. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. whole grains. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. NewBeginnings 37 . • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. nuts. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. FOCUS. aiming for 30 to 50 times. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods.

Pesticides. Our blood is what creates our cells. our hair. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. The solution: Sweat. 4. which creates less gas. 6. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. It relaxes and detoxifies your 38 . As a matter of fact.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. our tissues. Losing weight gradually . But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003.) If under pressure at meals. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. 3. Regular exercise should make you sweat. take deep breaths. chemicals from manufacturing. Breathe. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. Any form of exercise helps. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Detox. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. But breathing is also effective. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. 5. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Detox is a relative term. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Sweat – cleans up your system. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. chew. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. our skin. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Eat homemade food. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. our organs. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. but so will saunas and hot baths.

Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. 7. our relationships. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. focused. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. our jobs. diary products. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . etc. meats. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. and improve overall health. hydrogenated is delicious. fried foods. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. I call it facial meditation. bread. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. relaxes your body.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. Have sex. you sure can laugh at one. 39 . Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. Have a home-made facial. Laugh. 9. 10. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. Even if you can’t tell a joke. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . boost mood.consists of slow. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Tai chi -moving meditation .(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. improving your healthy well-being. refined flours. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. Take the laughter yoga class. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. 8. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. grains.

Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. fear of failure. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. or even worse. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. That one thing is FEAR. insomnia or lack of energy. that one thing. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. though. it keeps us from making a big mistake. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. healthy and joyous life you want. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. mood swings. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and 40 . There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. FEAR: fear of change. fear of success. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. what we FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons.naturalcounselor. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. one thing seems to come up most frequently. a short while. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy.

Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. write down your goals and if you did write them down. in order to be an adult. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. relationships. This is wrong. career and health because you are afraid of failing. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. as we grew older. When you have specific. pretend and let our imaginations soar. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. © Copyright 2003. have a reasonably happy life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. the more vibrant and alive we become. we have chosen. But. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 41 . It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. instead. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. friends and lovers live this kind of life. for the most part. As children we were free to play. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. the more connected we feel.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. Your goals must be your very own. Be honest. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. we are afraid to dream. afraid of disappointment. 2. We were told to grow up. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. get out your list and read it again. the world of adults. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. and life just gets better and better. and grow up. People without strong desires slowly whither away. If you haven’t done so already. Something that is important to you right now. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. we were told to leave those dreams behind. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious.

perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. FOCUS Look around you. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. push yourself to ask for help now. When you say your affirmations out loud.3. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. parent. You know. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. crying and so on. 4. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. life coach or whomever and ask for support. a powerful tool. As an example. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. breathing things. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. laughing. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. 5. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Focus. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Support can come in many forms: 42 . even though we would gladly give it if asked. it’s hard to focus. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Sometimes. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. if your goal is to run a marathon. Remember the Power of Affirmations. doing something together. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. Use them. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking.

you are bombarded with millions of message units. that release. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. © Copyright 2003. sight. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. It disables your emotional resources. physical and emotional well-being. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. resentment or anger.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. This is commonly referred to as memory. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. though. success and fulfillment. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even 43 . confront the situation as needed. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. interpersonal and relationship problems. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. psychological imbalances. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. and its effects may be positive. The subconscious processes everything. though. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. When we go through periods of stress. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. forgive and accept forgiveness. our subconscious is able to do this for us. recorded on brain and body cells. Luckily. affirmative statements. it still exists in our subconscious. health. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. Over time. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. whether asleep or awake. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. touch. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. During the course of a day. negative or neutral to our mental. smell and hearing.taste.

Once 44 . By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. fear and anxiety. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. They are also © Copyright 2003. During the Releasing session. existing situation. 6. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. Even when we sleep long hours. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. 5. laughter and perspiration. This not only applies to a current. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. 2. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. anger. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. tears. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. 4. 3.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious.

and your body and life are the printout. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). etc. including health care professionals and clergy. once learned. can be done alone. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You.). disappointment. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. the Releaser is asked to state. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. function as a computer operator. the brain is your biological computer. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. and feeling great. have learned. as a Soul.” 7. © Copyright 2003. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. however. such as anger. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first 45 . The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. sadness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. 8. “I release (relevant emotions. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. As people from all backgrounds.

not only does life get depressing. Conversely. Not only in your own relationships. take the color blue for example. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. We find ourselves drifting along. A state of being is not an emotion. Each of us is already whole. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. a diversion to keep life interesting. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. I don’t know about you. if you think about a color. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. meaningful and exciting. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. whether it is an emotion. thoughts and ideas. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. You choose what you want in your life. If you think about anger. A really simple way to test this theory is this. Without 46 . you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. This same principle works the same way for emotions. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. fun. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. an activity or a thing. your current life situation. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. After you’ve done this. though. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. “I don’t know what I want. something that is crucial to goal setting. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. Sometimes. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. not really happy. Think of it as a game.

simple Measurable. He’s got free will just as we all do. If you do this regularly. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). With a SMART goal and these suggestions. sometime weekly. keeps us feeling alive. responsible. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. Adjustments are a good thing. not if you want to improve your life. doesn’t mean I can have him. it just means you make an adjustment. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. Don’t forget about free will. change is the whole point. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. But you can’t manifest everything you want.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • 47 . Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. it would be a boring and scary world. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. they will never be overwhelming. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up.

So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.Remember. your goals are clear and you believe that it 48 . The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. set those goals. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.

but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. and help strengthen the immune system. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. turning some functions on and others off. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired 49 . In a pilot study published in 1999. imagery. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000.H HEALING. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. releasing negative thoughts. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. by using specific. relieve depression and so much more. Ph. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. It can help relieve pain. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. speed up healing after surgery. As David Spiegel. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes.. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. Working from the inside out. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. visualization and positive suggestions. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. © Copyright 2003. lower blood pressure. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves.

patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. For the client who wishes to quit smoking.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. Arreed Barabasz. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. During the operation. The suggestions. © Copyright 2003. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. Every 15 minutes. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. soothing kind of treatment. anxiety and the need for 50 . And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. empathic care provider and hypnosis. and the third received standard care. though. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. in terms of levels of pain. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. that’s because it is.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.

” says Marc Schoen. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. If you think you are seeing color. In effect. Spiegel and Lang found. A journey that you can now control. “It’s not just a fantasy. you actually see it. which could account for heightened attention.” Using imaging technology. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. experienced less pain. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. And this list goes on and on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. the brain’s manager and planner. On average. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. While in the trance. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. psychologists say. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. then the real fun can start. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis.” says Spiegel. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. Once again. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. the hypnotized patients used less medication. involving more than 330 patients.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. realizing all the possibilities available to you. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other 51 . This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness.

© Copyright 2003. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. though. As we each move through life. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. fear. hurt. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. My purpose is to help them remember. stress. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to 52 . this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. hurt. unpleasant. we each have to deal with something. Problems that we encounter every single day. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. Each incident throughout the day affects us. tension and minor frustrations. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. Sometimes. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. Try it once and feel the results. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. All life starts as a spark. resentment. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. With a bit of practice. you can do this exercise while awake. this spark can grow a little dim. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. When I say fuel.jealously. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. Some little problem or some big problem. rude or just plain nasty people. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). We have to cope with irritating.

you will feel refreshed. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. Some pleasant. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. clarity. © Copyright 2003. The more visual and real you make your goal.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. relaxed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. According to Stephen Kosslyn. not only will you feel better immediately. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. and much better about yourself. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. euphoria and control of your life again. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. you create a vivid. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. every message unit. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. a professor of psychology at Harvard. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your 53 . Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. more positive thoughts. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life.” Using hypnosis. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. If there is anything in your world. As a result. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. anything at all about yourself. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. Try hypnosis. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. comfort. feel or react. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. but the results will amaze and delight you. however.

that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. good or bad. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. The brain is simply another organ in your body. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. However. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body.I IMAGERY. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. once wrote. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. www. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Simply put. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind.cheryloneil. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis.” What we think. What we experience as feelings. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. can often help the other. As stated in Woman’s World. and change your life . Never. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. fixing a problem in one place. 2006. September 26. depressed © Copyright 2003. build self-confidence. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy.” Cheryl O’Neil. what we say to ourselves. Your ability to overcome obstacles. boost your mood. etc. heal your body. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. Conversely. etc. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. failure or determined by the thoughts you think. mend your ways. feel more Cheryl is talking about imagery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear or 54 . More and more doctors as well as patients.. who I especially admire. create passionate relationships.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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com © Copyright 2003. The fourth part is training your mind. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. “What we think about we bring about. Meditation. You know that saying. 98% of the time I am right. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. Another way I practice is with elevators. You rise above thinking in 58 . Motivation. Reiki. Abundance. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. use a deck of cards. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Law of Attraction. Private & Group Coaching. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. NewBeginnings This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Self Esteem.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www.qualifiedlifecoach.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.

delusions. you may go into a rage. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. You feel violated. in control of yourself and your partner. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. You are angry. and if so. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. and grow. succeed. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You want revenge. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. You want to see them become more of who they are. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. no matter what that entails. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. enjoy their life. projections. That’s the truth of love. You want to stop what you are feeling. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. envy. If you can cool down. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. It is essential to communicate clearly. It is important to recognize the difference between love and 59 . Often. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships.

You can give yourself the gift. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a 60 . you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. It does not. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. not within the relationship. Jealousy is like an onion. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. you cannot make a person love you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. the jealousy resides within you. If you move inward and look at yourself. © Copyright 2003. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. If your relationship is based on Attachment. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. If you can do this. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. you cannot. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations.

it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. envy. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. guilt or anger. the truth behind what you are feeling. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Look at your beliefs. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. The truth is that for most of us. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. This insight. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. Another layer can be guilt. really look and analyze them. It is their own. Projection. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the 61 . you can reach self-awareness. Going down to an even deeper layer. You do not own it. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. This is natural and normal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. there is nothing to feel guilty about. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. We think that we should be able to rise above it. Look at the reality. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. These all grow out of expectation. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. we find envy. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. This is projecting. Another layer is projection. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations.

We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. you can watch that love radiate out for all. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You do not need to experience jealously. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. You can choose to move away from those feelings. but attachment. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. When you attempt to possess another person. they still don’t meet your expectations. you become yourself possessed. By looking deep within. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. and let that be who you are. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. Hypnosis can help. Surrender to it. You become vulnerable. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. our childhood. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. © Copyright 2003. When you love. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. look deep within yourself at these feelings. frequently they are not real. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. let that guide you. then what you are experiencing is not love. fear of being alone. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of 62 . what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. They come from our past. Perhaps you fear abandonment. fear of not being worthy of love.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. Open your heart and mind to it. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. If you find yourself doing this. If you are experiencing jealously. If you love someone. Once you release the anger. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. Fear of loss. the resentment and the hurt. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability.

present and future and because of this. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous 63 . Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. if you prefer. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. but generally the concept is basically the same. Most people © Copyright 2003. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Jain. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Just a thought. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. or alternatively. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. all of which determine our future. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t.K KARMA. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. There is no judgment involved. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate.

saint or seer. Step in. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. Fate implies no choice. © Copyright 64 . but fate makes no allowance for free will. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. As stated above. In the Shang dynasty in China. If you are not satisfied with your life. fate and destiny are not the same. participate and change the direction you are heading. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence.associate Destiny with fate. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. prophet. In the belief systems of many cultures. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny.

I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. © Copyright 2003. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page.000. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. “What you think about will happen in your life. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. The old saying. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. “Let the chips fall where they may”. start by writing it down. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. 65 . The concept of the law of attraction is.” It’s about where you put your focus. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. For example. If you want to be a famous singer write that down.00 a year income.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. LIFE. What ever it is. is a good analogy. that can help you with exactly that. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life.

don’t panic. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. talk to those people. Now the key here is to follow up with this. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. You asked for what you wanted. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. pay attention to what happens next. allowing it to happen is vital. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. etc. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now that you have set this up. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. I promise you it will show up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You have made it clear. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. pay attention. your job is to notice it and then do something about it.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. you then attracted it. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. There is something there to be learned or gained. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. now grab 66 . That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for.

net 67 . A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. tele-classes and resources are offered. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. life is If we don’t like the fact that life is like LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. The sooner we realize and accept that. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. www. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. she said “You didn’t waste those a different package. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. It is never wasted and it is never lost. who has no idea that she is. that is the Universe telling you go…. originally thought of. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. a very wise woman. Group Coaching. you used them to learn about yourself. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. She told him something I want to share with all of you. You never. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. maybe © Copyright 2003.qualifiedlifecoach.” And I realized as she told me this. Go to my web site for more information. Individual Coaching. So live your life. Not only that.

understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. v. Definition: To pity. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. I’m not sure why exactly. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. sex. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. t. you are perfect. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. healing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. com·pas·sion. some which I like and others not so much. [Obs. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. I can see you all now rolling your eyes.] Shak. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. living this life to experience love. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. but yes. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. I was reminded recently. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). A noun. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. often including a desire to help. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. never have. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. © Copyright 2003. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. trust . maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. partnered. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. dating. I know. then. First.” When we talk about compassion. compassion and faith. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the 68 . all kinds of love. romance. married or alone.

then someone else. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. just maybe those people whose lives we 69 . in the process.Another thing that is so important to remember. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. someone around you. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. one that you can get behind. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. measurable phenomenon. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. with all their faults. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. and.K. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. as well. heal others and yourself. nobody can make it for you. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. Luck is a real. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. then maybe. those we live with. Give yourself a break. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. lazy or self-indulgent. work with or just come into contact with. can start to love themselves as well. Instead of listening to that old record. My only question to your would be this. that negative voice in your head. © Copyright 2003.

MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. and so do the ideal treatments. And yet. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. M. with all these statistics facing us. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug.” Michael Craig Miller. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. “Depression may look like a single disease. Depression can manifest in many different forms. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones.e. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. sex. 2007 article. certainly not for a real man. In the past. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. the depression and the cause of that depression. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. (Harvard Medical School). the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. February 26. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. During the past 50 years. In addition.. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. or even make the depression worse.D. As 70 . but the underlying causes vary. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle.M MALE DEPRESSION. This can make treatment especially difficult. MIND-BODY CONNECTION.

When you release the hurt. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. When you recognize that this is occurring. When this occurs. Edward M. Trying to accomplish this by yourself.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. difficult and painful process. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. Ph. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. As Dr. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. fear or anger that you are experiencing. Woman’s World. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. With the aid of hypnotherapy. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. you take back control of your own life. During the course of this journey and these detours. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed.D. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. bitterness. There are detours that we must take. love and happiness beyond measure. As I quote above. resentment. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. Sometimes. Working from the inside out.. 2005.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. smooth and without bumps or potholes. Hallowell. however. guilt and depression. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian 71 . you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. helping you regain strong mental-health. the healing process. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. This is not easy. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. fear. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. without help. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. Using © Copyright 2003. without wanting or meaning to. October 18. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. hurt. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about.

The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. meditation.000 brain scans. a German physician. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. hurt. resentment. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. alcoholism. including diet. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that 72 . Ryke Geerd Hamer. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. pathogens. Dr. eating disorders. hostility. © Copyright 2003. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. With the help of 20. In addition. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. Holding onto anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. This has been proven by Dr. can lead to serious food addictions. drug abuse and depression. but our physical body as well.

Take control of your own thoughts and actions. thought or image. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. etc. I have been there and there is a way out. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. but to your thoughts as well. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. guide them in a positive direction. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. keeping track of what is working and what is not. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. and © Copyright 2003. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. Meditation works. use it and use it frequently. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. anger is what you will bring into your life. yoga can help. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.exposure to toxic substances. This is a way of thinking. Believe me. if you focus on anger.D. In addition to nurturing your mind. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Success is a process of continually learning new information. etc). Success is largely an inner game. whole grains. It requires that you develop a success mind. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. and this applies to any negative emotion. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given 73 . stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. white flour. Ph. vaccines.

see unlimited possibilities. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. fear that we are not good enough. make adjustments along the way. fear of hard work. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. This is one of the laws of success. and keep moving forward. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. you simply need to start. Take time to dream. conditioning. exploring one more option or opportunity. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. The success mind trains itself to ask. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. © Copyright 74 . Develop a process to examine your fears. generate new ideas. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. learn from your mistakes. but also change the world. the less we fear them. Yet. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. fear of what other people will think. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. inventor. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. hardship. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Fear of change. and failure. Gather new information. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. Take action. fear of failure. possibility is in the dreaming. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. and create new realities. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. While success requires action. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. or successful businessperson. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. Only you have to live with your success or your failure.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. You will have to change to be successful. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. if you talk to any star athlete. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. foster creativity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success.

you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. think. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Not simply because you say yes. you will create even more opportunities for growth. When you say yes. Question. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remember.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. you likely will feel fear. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. your world and your success. Your thoughts. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. your actions. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. The time to begin is now. challenge. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. and grow. create. adventure. But once you say no to an opportunity. It is never too late to develop your success mind. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. Mental 75 . experience. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. You continue to grow. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. As you do this. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. try on new perspectives. form opinions. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. your feelings. and success. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities.

Dream big and take consistent. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Mollie Marti. Visit her at www. happier. Ph. mediator..D. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. engage again and refuse to quit.molliemarti. and healthier lives. make corrections. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live or www.success and rewards your effort. performance coach. J. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. is President of Best Life Design. lawyer. and smart action.bestlifedesign. Inc. Stop caring what other people think. © Copyright for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. directed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. redirect the effort..D. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. better. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you 76 .

N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. and interpersonal influence. John Grinder. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. management training. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception 77 . and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. Unfortunately. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. However. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. sales. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). Frequently when NLP is mentioned. however. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. © Copyright 2003. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Robert Dilts. sports. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. linguistics and computer science. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. There is.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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use Yellow) money. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. activity. Also. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. red would probably not be the best color to use. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. Use it for minor headaches. You have the power to change your perception. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our 81 . peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. fire. think we are making progress or stagnating. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. Whether it makes us happy or sad. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. © Copyright 2003. remember that red not only represents life force. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. growth. health healing. occurrence. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here.

this is how it works. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you 82 . but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. It can be done in person and over the phone. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. it can make your life almost unbearable. By the time your therapist is done. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. but it is not a gift at all.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. Relief is truly immediate. control it and use it wisely. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. If you are suffering from a phobia. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. though. You are then taken back to the phobia again. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Once you have faced your phobia. Sometimes. But the results tend to be permanent. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. © Copyright 2003. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. this power. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. Take control. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. Perception is a powerful thing. After you are put into a hypnotic state. there will be no emotional response. Basically. Depending on the phobia. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way.

You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. joyful and full life filled with love. fear of failure. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. fulfillment and yes. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. thinking and dreaming. and not just a lack of money or things. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. © Copyright 83 . prosperity includes a rich. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. even fear of success. Marti. you will enjoy them immensely. money as well. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. and not just money or things. it may be necessary to make some changes. In order to accomplish this. Fear of change. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. fun. however. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Mollie W. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Frequently they are a result of fear. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. happiness. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. both written by Dr. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less.

touch it.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. M-Theory. independent and apart from us. and tangible. Theory of Everything. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). space. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. Loop Quantum Gravity. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. because what was a mechanical. Time. Grand Unified Theory. the Copenhagen Interpretation. separate from us. smell. in addition. Unified Field Theory. external universe. utterly real. Superstring Theory. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however. We can see it. In the dream it all seems very real. Quantum Gravity. touch. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. not the other way around. Supersymmetry. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. hear. Schroedinger’s Cat. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. EPR Paradox. around us. as I started to research this a bit. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. solid. String Theory. 84 . © Copyright 2003. and hear it. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. They exist within consciousness. in about three or four paragraphs! So. they are all phenomena within the mind. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. standing as a physical world. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. It appears undeniably to be out there. However real and external these images may seem. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. instead. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell.

if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Hypnosis! © Copyright 85 . the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. and there’s only one real way to do that. huh? So. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Cool. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality.

It is the physical who yells. © Copyright 2003. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. However.R RELATIONSHIPS. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. possibly even throws things when angry. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. if you are not. RELEASING. read on. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. These two distinct types. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. Unfortunately. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. First. In addition. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. congratulations. how they can come apart. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. our behavior 86 . cries or screams when upset. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks.

For the physical. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In relationships. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. his career. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. After all. But let’s look into the future several months. This is natural.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. secure and © Copyright 2003. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. To her partner it is his career. With the physical female. Next would be their children. The emotional. on the other hand. Let’s cover very briefly. When his partner complains that they never see each other. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. what the priorities of each are. he cannot understand why. So he starts spending more time at work. Their first priority is their career. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. I really do mean attraction. the relationship is of primary importance to her. She is happy. outgoing. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go 87 . When I say E&P attraction. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. is quite a bit different. When they first meet. She on the other hand. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. longer hours at the office. And boy do they do relate. And that’s a good thing. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. then hobbies. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding.

understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. Interestingly enough. sadness. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Remember. This is done through imagery and suggestion. Plenty. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. though. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. © Copyright 2003. The process is quick. What can be done about this. Sometimes. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. to get clear on your goals for the future. fear and guilt. When we are healthy and balanced. When you understand how the other thinks.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. Release anger. communication is key to any successful 88 . With communication you can understand each other. releasing occurs naturally. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you.

unpredictability and lack of control. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. Negative expectations. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. positive thoughts. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. use your downloadable sessions first. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. fears. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. Both techniques are 89 . process and recall information. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. anger. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. doubts. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. hurt.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. physical. That may been all you need at this time. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. and emotional states. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. body and emotions. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. If your subconscious is ready. Ph. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day.D. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through.

As you add them to your day. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. each and every day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. you are ready for it. over the telephone. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at 90 . make a choice to expect positive results. boring day. and in countless other interactions. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. Rest is any activity.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. Rather. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. As you spend energy during the day.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. For example. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. It’s going to be a gloomy. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. in and of © Copyright 2003. “It’s gray and cloudy. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. reading a book. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. build in ways to recoup your energy. Think and say. You spend mental. Many rituals are quite simple. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. to your computer.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. You wake up and your first thought might be. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. taking in a deep breathe. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You give energy away to other people.

you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. nervousness. you are less able to concentrate on your 91 . It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. After a 90-minute presentation. guilt. Influence Management: Before any performance. frustration. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. after working at your computer for an hour. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend.itself. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. You’ve © Copyright 2003. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. When you carry negative emotions like fear. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. fatigue. rhythmic breathing. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. linking it with a unique physical action. For example. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. and anxiety. which is pleasurable and restorative. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. anger. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. and discarding the emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion.

Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. but when it came time to start. can be viewed as a distraction. prior to a presentation or meeting. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. try to use the same type of focal point. . One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. or a clock on the wall.simply applied a band-aid. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. back to my task. consciously look at your focal point. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. it also had drifted off. For example. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. . Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Yet. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. works well. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. She chose a cloud as her focal 92 . I “turn on” my full engagement. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. Before you perform. As I cross the line. It immediately precedes the performance and says. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . even if it is a good thing. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. you might choose a banner. If you travel. a piece of art. Any time you get distracted. “OK. A tangible engagement cue. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. such as a doorframe. body and emotions that it is time to perform. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. This leads to a less than stellar performance. If you are in your office or in a conference room. © Copyright 2003. I image a red line on the floor. As you travel or perform in different locations. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment.

Ph. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. and success.. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature.D. A close companion is the use of stimulants. they will provide great consistency. © Copyright 2003. Visit her at or www.molliemarti. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. This means that if you get away from your rituals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. including caffeine and adrenaline. J.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus.. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. it won’t feel right. lawyer.bestlifedesign. If you cannot identify your rituals. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. It will throw you off. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human 93 . Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. performance coach. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. happier. and healthier lives. better. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. successful entrepreneur. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. is President of Best Life Design. mediator. Inc. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. As part of this process. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. concentration.D. Mollie Marti. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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apricots. leafy vegetables. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. salmon. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. impatience. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. seafood. causing irritability and nervousness. exhaustion. © Copyright 2003. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. fear. Almonds. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined 97 . You need eat more avocados. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. worry. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. prunes. irritability. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. oats. garlic. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sesame seeds. kale. etc. such as hormonal imbalances. bananas. irritability. Calcium rich foods are almonds. asparagus. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. kelp. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. apples. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. chronic fatigue. depression. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Calcium. broccoli. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. depression. cabbage. blood sugar fluctuations. moodiness and nervousness. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Vitamin B12. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Unfortunately. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Vitamin B6. brown rice. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. mustard greens. be one of the first things that goes.

As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. but if something happens to us. mushrooms. Start squeezing something. oranges. Squeeze a squishy ball. nobody will. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Walk. to work away your tension. brown rice. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. I know mine always have been). salmon. Bottom line who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. our cortisol levels drop.Folic acid. though. who will take care of our children. a founder of NaturalCounselor. Kiss.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. dates. tuna and whole grains. root vegetables (such as potatoes. insomnia or lack of energy. barley. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. lentils. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. carrots and turnips).com © Copyright 2003. oatmeal. green leafy vegetables. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. our family? So let us be stress smart. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. In addition. Sing. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine.naturalcounselor. legumes. such as a squishy ball. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: 98 . This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Call a friend. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. you must relax. mood swings.

the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. According to the laws of physics.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you understand that. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. For example. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a 99 . you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. If you wake up today focusing on debt. if you are having a problem with money. I know I have. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. a feeling. If you wake up today affirming an illness. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. because you cannot stand still. I used to feel that way often. but to the energy of the present moment. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. Energy is constantly in motion.

you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. You need to make room for change. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999. Ph.D. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. © Copyright 2003. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Ginandes says. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. the truth is. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. for most people. it doesn’t matter why it works. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. You don’t have to create change. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. Hypnosis. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.” So. During the sessions. smooth. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. and elastic.. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions.D. meanwhile. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming 100 . really. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. our results suggest. Ph.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. Pain sufferers. In a follow-up experiment published last year. can influence the body to heal itself. for example. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. It is only important that it does. And. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately.

for you happiness and your abundance. © Copyright 2003. look down on the Time Line. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. There is no correct answers. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do 101 . Remember. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Remember. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. your love and your joy. to the left or to the right. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. it is what feels best for you. If it’s behind you. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. When you have determined the directions of past and future. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Take your time with this. Take responsibility for your life and direction. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road.

Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. Without getting specific about each of them. © Copyright 2003. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). bad things just happen. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. you stuck by the wrong person. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. Sometimes what you need. even if they cannot give it back. It can look that way to others. I can say that each time I h ad to make a 102 . all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’d like you to consider another alternative. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. It might not have looked that way to others. You procrastinated. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. you made a mistake. You need them to tell you to be strong. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Picture yourself at age 103 . 90. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. VICTIMHOOD. For example.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. while another may be a Wiccan. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. 85. another may practice Hinduism. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. etc. First. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. you need to define what it is you want. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. © Copyright 2003. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. whatever feels right. Spirituality.

VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. Something very 104 . mugged or even raped. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. then you’ve got a problem. If it is what you believe. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. but not only that. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. What you might think is wrong. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. church and society. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. then your perception makes it right. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Remember. You might get angry. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. friends. is you. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. you will certainly feel violated. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. What areas cause you regret. or even the perceptions of our family. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. © Copyright 2003. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Perhaps you are abused. are you really meant to be together. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Figure it out early. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. Think about all the value areas of your life. What value areas of your life are you happy with. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. However.Now think back over your life. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas.

Here in the U. my husband ignores me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life.I want you to consider something. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. my mother didn’t give me enough love. it means you are not responsible for anything. my wife doesn’t understand me. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. etc. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. Life. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..” But. A rather sad. my kids don’t show me any respect. But now. however. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. And. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. etc. It wasn’t fun. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. happiness and joy available to each of us. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering 105 . etc. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. But just take a moment now and really think about it. for what you do and what you say. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction.. my friends don’t understand me. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life.S. my mother didn’t understand me. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. and society actually encourages this thought.

For example. boost your mood. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. beautiful heart and so much love to give. is powerful beyond belief. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Simply. build self-confidence. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. You had to be strong. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. If that is taken away from us . Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. never © Copyright 2003. etc. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Fixing a problem in one place though. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. each of us. bad relationship and can keep on going. feel more loved. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were 106 . One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. we lose everything. 2006. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. it is the ability to enjoy life.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. can often help the other. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. etc. If we take back control. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. eventually. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking.who you are. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. September 26. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security.. please. Remember. As stated in Woman’s World.

relieve pain. © Copyright 2003. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. increase your self-confidence. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. your imagination. depressed or negative. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are feeling 107 . Is essence. Use the power of your mind. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. So. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. can change how your feel. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results.

How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise.) 3.W WEIGHT. WORDS. scientists. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day.. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Confusing. 4. First one. 5. it’s good again. bleached flour. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. Not only that. included six small meals a day. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. the only diet that had ever worked for them. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. before facts have actually been verified. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. however. If. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. etc. alcohol. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different 108 . The truth is. refined. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. diet and weight.e.

boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 109 . you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 9. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. © Copyright 2003. 17. Has your mother. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.6. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Do you associate a person. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 7. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 20. 8. 19. 18. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Out of all the food you eat in a day.

It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. WRONG! Words have power. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. a lack of fulfillment. having said all that. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack.Now. confidence and happiness. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that 110 . Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Abuse victims. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. self-confidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they include abandonment issues. survivors. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. you know that as strange as it may sound. More often than not. You know © Copyright 2003. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. satisfaction. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. by working it. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You had to be strong. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. We heal from physical injuries.

Make some calls. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. this planet needs you. Once said they are out there forever.because I say it over and over again. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. But you are wrong. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Your life depends on it After all. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. But most of all. wife. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. call out for help. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. throughout your life entire life. scream and yell and swear all you want. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Vent when you are alone. This is why “words” do have so much power. Think and dream about your future. The same holds true for what you hear. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. husband. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. As a matter of fact. And that’s what venting to another is. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. intelligence and compassion. When this occurs. your talent. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Also. but not only that. wider and stronger each and every day. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. But when you are with someone you care about. keep your thoughts strong. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. lover. dreams and desires. someone will answer. And for each of us. I have to say 111 . find out what you can do. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. words can hurt you.

or. especially in interpersonal situations. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. can help. If you do not feel ready for that. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. If you can do this. © Copyright 2003. much like arthritis in wet weather.withdraw into ourselves. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Releasing sessions can work well with these. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. when things are going smoothly. 112 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this.

energy. When you have done this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. clear and easy breathing. strong. You can choose to live your life. healthy. your energy will flow in that direction. what is different and better. drinking. you have a decision to make. the decision becomes easy. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Make a promise to yourself. Make a commitment and a decision. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. Before you make that decision. drinker. Notice how you feel. are you now sure which one you want. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Once you decide that you want to quit. vibrant. Of these two possible futures in your life. clear skin. You have the opportunity to see a different future. binger or whatever. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. DRINKER. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. very clearly. Whatever it is. Wait 10-20 seconds. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. © Copyright 2003. vital. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. the body you want. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker.X X 113 . doesn’t it?. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Wait 10-20 seconds. What do you look like. BINGER ETC. Notice what you see. And now let those images fade completely away.

Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. In making a choice. So. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. happiness. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. you may never receive it. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. it does not mean you will receive it. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. your entire belief system. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. your life 114 . you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can only lift a small amount of weight. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. Compare it to strength training. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. joy. you always have a choice. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. When you first begin to work your muscles. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. success. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. For instance. Everything in life is a choice. a better

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention.According to Holly. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.hollygleason. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. check it regularly. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. © Copyright 2003. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can To me. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. check it out at 115 . looking around. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery.

cause.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. cause. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. intensity and 116 . please do it with zeal and without apathy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or ideal and the determination to further that person. or ideal. it means a diligent enthusiasm. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. An antonym is apathy. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. And always remember this. fight for your dreams and your goals. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor.

” and the “sore spot. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand.” “gamut spot.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. There are 15 points.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking 117 . you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. While you are doing these three karate chops. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. To make this even more effective. You can also visualize this word in your mind. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation.

This is not a sentence. or DEPRESSED. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. or anything you want changed. 7. or AFRAID. You can go through the tapping process several times. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY.” © Copyright 2003. 10. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 8. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 4. but do each issue 118 . 2. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 9.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. 11. anxiety. 6. Do what feels right for you. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 12. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 3. fear. 5. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. you can use just one or two words. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

And as your heart fire increases. hurt. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. resentment or negativity away. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. And as your heart fire increases.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. I love myself. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. uncross your arms and legs. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart.” And that’s all there is to it. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. your connection with yourself is complete. you open all pathways to love. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. By burning away all anger and 119 . but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you also release all negative thoughts. © Copyright 2003. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. feelings. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. As you do this. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. ideas and beliefs within yourself. emotions.

Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. heal yourself and relax yourself. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. hours. Then when you are ready. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. cleansing breath in and let it out. hear the waves and the birds. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. smell the salt. smell it. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes.e. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. taking this time right now for myself. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. See it. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. months or even years to be released. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you reach the © Copyright 2003.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is.. at the beach. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. If another color comes to mind. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. see the image). hear it (i. Take yourself fully into this place. like salt. days. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. anyplace. allow that color to flow in and out as well. Then imagine or visualize white granules. weeks. If you feel like it and have the 120 . Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep.

A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. You are in charge of your healing and your life. activity. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. thoughts and feelings. yourself. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. or whatever it is your desire. Here’s my 121 .number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. © Copyright 2003. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. emotions. my guy and I are in love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Let go of all tightness within you. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. happy and having fun together. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. relationship. You are in control and in charge of your body. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses.

You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I say to myself RANCH.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I choose to forget past mistakes now. live in the moment and dream in the future. I keep saying ranch until that image. I release all stress and tension from my mind and 122 . My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I vibrate with positive energy. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. positive delightful reality. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. © Copyright 2003. With my thoughts I create my new.

........... 63.... 78... 55 Dawn Abraham ...... 5......... 78.. 3.. 47.. 22.... 121 drug abuse... 21.. 77.... 115....... 96............ 70. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 79 cancer....... 126 adrenalin .. 101... 81..... 73 depression .. 2. 58.. 6.. 81............. 35...... 56....... 24...... 104........... 77. 3.... 6.. 78.. 60.... 32. 22.. 123.. 78 forgiveness.. 95 © Copyright 2003. 50. 19. 96.... 46....24..... 6. 22. 116 disease.......58 choice2.. 37.. 81.... 105.... 37.. 80... 36. 78 affirmations.. 39. 97...... 103. 129 diet ...1.. 103............ 53........ 60.... 45. 6............ 104.... 26. Ph... 28... 78... 121.... 35..... 36...... 98. 76. 78 E&P attraction . 52..... 10. 74...... 31. 57... 128 anxiety 7.... 71... 2. 58.Index 12-step programs .. 7 attraction ....... 116..... 36... 27...... 114...... 47. 106...... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 48.2. 72....... 77.............. 106..86 addict . 66.5........ 94. 61... 32...... 73. 28..... 35... 81.......... 95... 27... 104..88 clarity 9... 4.... 25. 64. 45... 34.. 36... 104.... 54. 76 desire.... 43..... 55 emotional freedom technique . 60.. 90 coronary disease....... 52........ 72. 5......... 78 EFT .7....... 125... 109.. 76. 21....30 anchor ... Ph......... 47............21 Arreed Barabasz .... 12.... 131 dreams 22.........53. 130 epilepsy . 15......... 3 addiction ..... 30... 29.... 7. 79............. 5. 116 Bereavement ... 97......... 22. 31.... 59... 71...... 89. 62... 42. 27... 32... 91... 109....... 56......... 38............. 12 Elvira Lang .. 89. 94 baggage..... 32.. 113. 44......2.... 24 eating disorders... 89 balance .. 25.. 119. 32.... 78........ 84...... 126.... 41...... 44.7.... 23. 4. 119 confidence... 84......38.5.. 50... 26... 21... 67.... 35.... 127... 50... 106. 91.... 97.. 71.3................... 1... 23. 3 Alzheimer’s .......121 blood sugar ........2... 90. 102. 99........125 anger ..... 97. 94.....30.......9. 54..................... 37... 76. 39.. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ............. 43.. 42.. 81.... 6........107 abuse 5.. 21..... 88...5....1... 32..... 43. 21.. 125 energy ............. 121... 118 acute pain........ 45.............. 14... 38...... 60.. 104.. 114.......8 Adrian Calabrese.. 96.. 37.. 53..... 48...... 98... 80. 102... 43..... 37.. 23........... 26. 101.... 33.. 47..... 127.. 10 binging .. 112.. 122..... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ........... 89 fear 1....... 89... 42...... 46... 30 Eric Butterworth ....... 74.. 79.... 65. 5................. 129 alcoholism. 6.. 119. 94... 7. 87.. 46. 21........ 129 food addictions. 114.. i ... 122 chronic anger ......... 18......D. 79................. 41.... 97.... 37... 21..54 association ............ 6............ 112 compassion . 20.. 46..... 94....................... ... 19. 97..... 21.. 83.. 8. 33... 36.. 38... 94... 117....2... 94.. 93. 4...... 110. 44. 127..... 35..... 6........ 44... 78.. 129... 63.. 63. 35........ 57.................. 16.....86 Circle Therapy . 6. 7. 9...... 52... 114... 90.. 38.. 58.... 44. 74. 44..... 105 darkest hour ... 95.... 78 cortisol ... 5..... 86. 128... 88..... 79 Carol Ginandes... 31. 118 consciousness 8. 76................ 75. 35... 10..... 44....... 114. 7..... 92. 102.. 55...... 27. 30......... 110 communication ... 130 focus.... 78 alternative programs ... 5................. 126..... 113 Abraham Hicks .. 35... 60........... 130 apprehension........ 45.... 24. 37.. 36. 21 David Spiegel.... 78 chronic pain .24. 55....... .. 124 drinking. 95...D..........5... 8. 71.... 20........... 79 dream 1. 63....... 52.... 103. 94........ 70.....

..... 54... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 8... 52. 94.. 37..... 39..............76 Hridaya Yoga..................... 30. 7.......... 83 nitric oxide .. 5. 34...... 10........... 57.... 58...... 56 hurt.......... 58......28 John Grinder ....2..... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis... 76...... 79......... 115 smoking... 83 overload . 109...37. 58.. 94 mood swings .... 37......1...83 John Kappas. 115....... 95........ 122 Harvard ...... 128. 10...............83 Law of Attraction. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003............... 6 Pat Dennis.. 28........... 87... 89 phobias.. 110.. 32.................... 7. 54. 57.. 15. 43.. 78......... 125 immune suppression .. 78 NLP.. 79......11.... 118... 86 habits....... 77.... 37.............. 21.. 86...35 goal ... 8........... ii ..... 38....... 64........... 38...... 50........ 26... 63...... 89................... 103....36 joy ... 47..... 77.......... 112.... 109.. 78. 121 relationships24.32 hypnotherapy . 71 life force. 37 self-esteem .... 58... 76..... 77. 118 self-talk . 5.. 39....................... 102.... 60............. 43....... 120 relaxation ..... 42... 57 neural interconnections ..... 67... 56...... 81............................. 84. 35. 114.... 47.. 118................ 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ...... 129 heart disease. 37 powerless ... 69..5......10... 78. 58.. 22.... 103.. 47................ 36 Guilt ... 78..... 117 medicine... 67..... 22....... 37.. 51.... 83.. 127.. 53..... 79.... 93..... 65............30 high blood pressure... 116... 109..... 22. 43........8 hypnosis .. 99. 15... 57.. 67......... 101........ 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ....... 53... 56... 107..................12 habit .. 74.... 54.. 120..9....... 56........ 127 hypersuggestible . 21...... 87 lose weight 4.....8... 117...... 75.. 77......... 6............ 58.. 27. 42........ 9........... 56.... 76.. 6... 95... 125. 88..... 10........ 43.... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ... 27.. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice............ 60............ 119 neuro-linguistic programming . 57............... 7....... 37... 86. 30........ 77. 79.... 84 panic attacks..84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .. 13.... 28........ 83 Robert Dilts..... 30.... 21..........................10.. 37.. 93 message units ... 107... 59.. 78.... 16...... 30 passive-aggressive ... 34.. 79.. 29 neuro pathways .......... 105. 43.... 36... 78.. 55.... 13........... 57........ 78.......... 107................. 113.. 118 Gary Craig .. 29. 119.. 77....... 25. 32 phobia ........ 129 grief....... 37............ 105 Jane C..... 121 snapshot ... 58........ 9... 101...... 113 prosperity .. 5........ 92..... 57..9... 123............. 50.... 130 Judith DeLozier .... 86.. 116 happiness ... 56.. 77. 30... 111...... 19.. 1............10.. 122..................... 85...7. 122 Ida Kendall . 45... 35.. 125 men . 3... 14.. 118..... 54..... 79..... 49..... 128 Richard Bandler . 43.. 6.......... 35. 110..... 59..... 59. 39. 78.. 53...... 54............. 77............ Woods ........ 26.. 10........ 65.. 87.3.7... 47... 32.54 Irina Wardas .. 59. 29. 40. 2...... 88. 44..... 33.......... 22. 119......... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 59.. 6.............. 83 Roger Callahan ... 115...... 129 resentment......... 46.. 46... 42.... 31..... 6..... 77...... 37........ 58... 47... 6...... 113..... 101 self-image .. 53.............. 87....... 78...... 21.. 4... 38.... 127......fulfillment ..... 44......... 10............ 22.. 32....32 illness 36. 99......... 36.... 53.. 64.. 94.. 79... 120..40... 32.... 17 Janet Luhrs. 77..5.24.. 114 imagery .... 110. 66...... 107 healing ...... 108 Parkinson’s disease...... 63.. 5. 47. 109. 89........24 Journal of Clinical Psychology........ 89.... 23........

.. 95...... 58... 56.. 106 wounds ........ 95.... 37...... 118........................57 stress hormones ............... 120 yummy list . 75. 111 victimhood ................. 124 © Copyright 2003. 34.................. 84.... 6...............53 transformation.......... 48...... 109... 8... 44... 59... 37..... 60..... 114 weight ..... 6..... 47................... 30.... 110 Two Futures ... 107. 113........... 116 Women........ 115.. 78........44........ 101... 114 triggering event ......... 85...............83 Stephen Kosslyn .......... 22. 78...........107 trigger........... 21..... 37........4...28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .................................... 120 suicide.............. 114 visualization........ 65... 5. 109 triggers .... 38....... 122 zeal... 45..... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att................ 77... 109... 2. 122.... iii .......... 112... 91.... 77. 77.... 47.... 77.........6.... 43....... 85.................... 80........5... 46..... 79... 7.......... 6.... 36....... 57.. 30. 59.......... 79 thought habits ........... 128 subconsciously.. 7... 26....... 10.. 34... 5................. 78 subconscious............ 29.... 94. 121 value areas of life.Stephen Gilligan ............... 125.

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