An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

feelings. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. emotions and perceptions. . Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. when given the proper instructions. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. neuro pathways. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. As I said before.

......... ANGER......... ENERGY .. C............... FEAR............................................................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .................................................................................................46 SMART GOALS ..........................1 ADDICTION ..............................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)......TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE....................................................................................................................21 DEPRESSION........37 FABULOUS ...............................................7 BALANCE................. ANXIETY.............................................................. F..............................26 DEPRESSION ......43 GOALS ........................................................................................................... BEREAVEMENT ........................................ ................................ FORGIVENESS..................................................8 BALANCE ..................... D..................................................................26 DIETING ...................................8 BEREAVEMENT ... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.......29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ........... DIETING.............................................................5 ANXIETY ...3 ANGER .............................................................................................................................................40 FOCUS ................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)............35 FABULOUS.................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ....................................18 COMMUNICATION ........................................................................................................................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ...................34 ENERGY ..........8 CHANGE........................................ AFFIRMATIONS..... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ... FOCUS............. COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE....................................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................................................................37 FEAR ..................... G...32 EMOTIONS......................................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS...................46 B.. E................... ADDICTION................................................... EMOTIONS........................................

............................54 IMAGERY...73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).............................................................51 HYPNOSIS......................................... INTUITION.....................................................................49 HEALING ............................................ Q......................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ............80 PERCEPTION ........54 INTUITION............. MIND SUCCESS ................... LOVE.. PERCEPTION..................... HYPNOSIS........................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ................................................................................................................63 KISMET ..............................49 HEART FIRE ......... LIFE........................................................................................H...................................................80 PAIN.............................................................................56 JEALOUSY ...............59 JEALOUSY................................................................ P............ MIND-BODY CONNECTION........................................63 KARMA ...................................... .....................69 MALE DEPRESSION.............. L.............81 PHOBIAS ...................................................................65 LIFE........................................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION............. J...... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.............65 LAW OF ATTRACTION .................................................... O..................................................... M................................................................................84 I................. K.......... PROSPERITY ........................................................................................... LUCK ...................................................................................................................................................... N..........................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .................................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.....83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .............70 MALE DEPRESSION........................................................................................................................78 PAIN. KISMET ......... HEALING......68 LUCK ............. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)..72 MIND SUCCESS ................59 KARMA......52 IMAGERY.................67 LOVE........77 OVERLOAD.............................. PHOBIAS...............................................

.................................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)......................................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ............... RELATIONSHIPS.........................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE..........................................................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE.........................................................................................94 STRESS ........... T.........................86 RELEASING ..........106 WEIGHT............................................................................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS...........114 YUMMY LIST ................96 STUCK ............................................................................... i...113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.............................................................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE... Y...........103 VICTIMHOOD ............................................... V....................................................................................................................108 WEIGHT .................. W........................ SELF-TALK................................... DRINKER..............................................104 VISUALIZATION ..114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ........................... Z.......................... EXERCISES .............113 TWO FUTURES ...88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ............................................................................108 WORDS..................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE......... iii .................................................................................... RELEASING..... WORDS...........94 SELF-TALK..........R................................111 X SMOKER................. ii............ STUCK .................................................................................................................................... U..........................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY . BINGER ETC ............103 VALUE AREAS..............122 INDEX ................ VICTIMHOOD.............................. WOUNDS ...............................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS......................................................................... YUMMY LIST ..............................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)................................................................................... VISUALIZATION..99 TIMELINE THERAPY .102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.... X..................................................................................................114 ZEAL ...............................116 S........................................

think we are making progress or stagnating. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. fear of failure. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. satisfying. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. occurrence. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future.A ABUNDANCE. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. we don’t trust it to be real. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As a result. AFFIRMATIONS. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. money and 1 . a life that is rich and full. © Copyright 2003. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. even worse. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. fear of success. The future. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Even when we know we have this tool. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. however. It is our perception of any event. In order to make changes. Because of this. it is filled with laughter. usually as a result of fear. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. ADDICTION. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. Fear of change. ANGER. incident. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. indeed. excitement and yes. love.

at least for a while. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. People without strong desires slowly whither away. the more connected you feel. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. however. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. 2 . however. at least while they are using their drug. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction.e. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. you do have a choice. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and life just gets better and better. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. so. no matter what program you are going through.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. It is important though. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. cocaine. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. the more vibrant and alive you become. helps them suppress the pain. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. A tempo that is magnetic. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Allow that desire to flow through you. Your first step. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. i. Unfortunately. who you can call when you feel you might slip..

here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. However. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use.secularsobriety. Many people. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.com www.habitdoc. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been www. A friend of mine once told me.practicalrecovery. then you. you will forever remain an addict. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. The sooner we realize and accept that. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life.passagesmalibu. so. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. if it is not done. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. www. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but you don’t have to. I agree with this school of thought. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly 3 .com www.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. though. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. When you face this pain that you have been running from. the addict.

Don’t let fear hold you back. When you do this. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. • Be specific. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. So. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. • Always remember this. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want.” the message sent to your mind. When you move towards what you want. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. always focus on what you want to move towards.” • State your affirmations in the positive. that’s like moving uphill.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” Or say. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.” Or “I will lose weight. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. your computer. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. not what you want to avoid. when what you really mean is. then that means you are on the right track. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. © Copyright 2003. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. If necessary. Always create an image of what you want in your 4 . You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. the steering wheel of your car. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.

shaking. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. So. can lead to serious food addictions. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. along with mourning. eating disorders. you may blame others for your situation or condition. In addition. you may see yourself as an avenger. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. and heart palpitations. hurt. looking for justice and revenge. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. then anger becomes a serious health risk. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Even if we bury anger deep inside. resentment. anger is the most common response. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. Holding onto anger. But some people seem to be angry all the time. fatigue. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. drug abuse and depression. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. In situations that cause fear. Not only is this destructive to you. it can be just as damaging. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. alcoholism. When this is the case. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and 5 . (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. crying. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. When a relationship ends. If you see yourself as a victim. and in small doses can be a good thing. going from one trauma to the next. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. cold hands. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. hostility.

not only the anger you might hold within yourself. expressing your anger in an indirect way. Also. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. bitterness. and even increased workplace injuries. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them 6 . you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. and can help make you more content. and stubborn. © Copyright 2003. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. If you feel powerless. Unfortunately. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Power and anger are frequently related. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. suicide. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. however. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. and depression. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. but anger that may be directed at you by others. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. sarcastic. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. and can lead to serious food addictions. coronary disease. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. cancer. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). In the past. alcohol and drug abuse. releasing your anger. Remember. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. fear and hurt.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. it will never go away. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward.

cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. driving a car. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. weakness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. etc. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress.). mood swings. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. 7 . This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. being home alone. shakiness. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. Fears. flying. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. fear or anxiety. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. Also. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. fear or anxiety. nausea. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness.

These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.B BALANCE. right? Yes and no. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. then he’d really truly be happy. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. a perfect balance. Twelve hours of day and night. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Good advice. There isn’t another person. you know. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. getting involved with a church. No matter what you hear. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. then it would make him happy as well. Just think about that a moment. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. No one can tell you how to be happy. let them be a reminder to look inside. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. it didn’t work. I told him the usual stuff. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. Sometimes we need reminders. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. The problem was. Happiness. place or thing that can make you happy. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. that happiness must come from within ourselves. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone 8 .

I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. stop thinking it to death. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if we are angry. happiness. even the words we use. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. lover. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. In this state. Whether it’s an emotion. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. You are able to access your subconscious. fulfillment and life find you. No matter how hard we may try. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. It will. job or whatever you are seeking. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. jane@changingpeople. Woods. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. the right kind of suggestions. That means stop analyzing everything so much. working for you.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for 9 . Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. But even more than that. our voice. and in doing so. they allow the subconscious to grow Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. feeling. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. to balance the light and dark within yourself. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. goal. They allow you to clear out the old. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you.

I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. you must do what is right for you. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.the intensity and duration may differ. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. for example. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. just a little. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. and generally we prefer not to think about it. It is an immutable part of the human condition. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. and so on. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. To a degree that can be true. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. letting relevant people know. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly 10 . and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. © Copyright 2003. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. That said. However. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it.

Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. or those suffering alongside us. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. “If I do this. once the first shock waves have abated. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. recognizing it and naming it. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. or for feeling angry. Often that is enough. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. is a refusal to believe the news. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. we may need to be told several times. We may need evidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot 11 . The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. and just plain wrong. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone.Denial A second common response. It is unrealistic but again. © Copyright 2003. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. when they are breaking bad news to patients. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. we may be compelled to visit the scene. For example. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Some enlightened doctors know. uncaring. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. a normal response. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. disconcertingly. Help them tell you their feelings. This is where someone less involved can offer help.

If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. was decreed. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. how to manage our grief. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. and even our clothing. when our behaviour. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. just let it go. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. I have lost someone significant in my life’. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. like fundraising for a particular charity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even perhaps depressed. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. You cannot short circuit this process. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. To overstep this was considered an act of 12 . I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. For example. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes.

During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. © Copyright 2003. and this will of course vary from person to person. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. People want to help but they often don’t know how. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. If you need a hug. which can be a comfort. we begin to move on. however it feels. But actually. You may find. you never go right back to the beginning. ask them. Experiment At some point. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. So. This does not mean forgetting them. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. not in any sense. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill 13 . You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. However hard it is. we experiment with new ways of behaving. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. be it with a handshake or a hug. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. feeling there is no point. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. in this phase. such as excessive use of alcohol. Let close friends offer you comfort.

The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy.” © Copyright 2003. I hope it has been helpful however. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. so we need to use our discretion. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. be it taking some homemade food round. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your 14 . her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Again. taking flowers to an appropriate place. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Knowing this can help you plan for it. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Of course. take medical advice. a card sincerely written. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Make your peace with that and all will be well.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Literally. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. surrounded by people. ritual can be helpful at this time. Helping In Western culture. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. or an offer of help with the shopping. If you can. whether for you personally. as I have said. be it lighting candle. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself.

net 15 . Sometimes. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Some people embrace change and some resist it. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life.C CHANGE. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. jane@changingpeople. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. we can get very fed up. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will and some simply telling you how to do it. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. some anecdotal. some research based. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Woods. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. Finally. Sometimes. almost no one likes it. depending on the severity of the change. Just remember this. even depressed. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. depending on the change.

someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. You are speechless at first. A Story Here is a short story about change. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t 16 . the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. However. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. Worse. © Copyright 2003. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. “What?” you say. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. It may ring a bell with you. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. You are feeling bright and chirpy. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Finding they are.

joy of joys. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That is a fact to record on the top line. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes.. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. Underneath is your feelings or emotions 17 . By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. don’t just focus on the negatives. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.But then. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. For example. Use two different colours if you like. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. and. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. vulnerable.. no one but you is going to see this. yes. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. did it make you sad. So. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. or determined to make more effort.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. angry.

This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. Sometimes. as the dawn progresses. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. But as the sun rises. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. no one makes us feel anything. For example. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. our thoughts. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. are funny things. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. The same principle applies to you. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. our responses to change are individual and personal. Dawns. overloaded message units and repressed fears. Obviously. At first. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. another to frown and feel aggrieved. © Copyright 2003. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. They begin almost imperceptibly. As you release and wash away the darkness of 18 . However. and therefore our feelings. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. One may approach it in a positive way. Actually. while another may be much more fatalistic. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. Similarly with our responses to change. Then. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before.

inept. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization.anxiety and emotions. Unfortunately. see the right path. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. confidence. When this happens. but will actually consider them an order. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Be absolutely clear about what you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. apprehension and fear. © Copyright 2003. relaxation. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. you are in essence training your mind. you do not need to feel this way. need or want. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. remember “dawn” can and will happen. confused or fearful. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. given enough time and repetition. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. For example. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. clumsy. 19 . you start to believe it yourself. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. Ultimately. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. even our physical health and well being. Giving you the feeling of freedom. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. If you are starting to feel anxious. detailed imprint of what you desire.

it is a journey. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. Know that no matter what things might look like. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. does and will continue to offer you what you need. want and desire. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. you need to be aware. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. mold them and do it over and over again. It’s the life in your years. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. you always have a choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. Guide them.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth.” So live your life fully. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. you are actually living the life you want. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. If you want a New Beginning. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. in addition. yoga. confidence and trust. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. It does make a difference. abundance. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. so. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release 20 . realizing all the possibilities available to you. all of your life. As Abraham Lincoln once said. You will feel stronger. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. then the real fun can start. Trust that the Universe has. with clarity. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie.achieving prosperity.

I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. our answers are all around us. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. I truly believe that faith. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. The problem is that we communicate differently. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. courage. engage and listen. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. I realized again that communication is key to any successful 21 .knowing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. dolphins . It is important not to go looking for your sign. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. look and listen. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. yellow balloon. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer.

It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it isn’t. An example would be. the way we communicate with each other. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. but E&P affects. © Copyright 2003. First. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. among other things. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. possibly even throws things when angry. if you ask a physical if they are cold. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. opposites really do attract. how they can come apart. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. screams. people don’t realize just how true this is. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. is so much more than simple questions. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. they will answer yes or no. These two types.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. It is the physical who 22 . and how natural and normal this is. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. Communication. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. So. In relationships. cries. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. however. whatever when upset. enjoys spur of the moment activities. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite.

The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. Words have power. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions.The same thing occurs when communicating. you can see how this could be problematic. Since we tend to project our thoughts. Remember though. You had to be strong. the more the physical pushes. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. self-confidence. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work 23 . It becomes a vicious circle. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Conversely. however is just one part of communication. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. This E&P communication. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. © Copyright 2003. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. they can ruin lives. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. We heal from physical injuries. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Also. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken.

your talent. Also. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. 24 . The second step is to take control of your thoughts. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. call out for help. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. © Copyright 2003. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. wider and stronger each and every day. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. but not only that. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. find out what you can do. Your life depends on it After all.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. The woman who has come out of a nasty. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. each of us. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. The same holds true for what you hear. beautiful heart and so much love to give. is powerful beyond belief. by working it. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. this planet needs you. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. throughout your life entire life. But you are wrong. This is why “words” do have so much power. As a matter of fact. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. But most of all. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. keep your thoughts strong. You know because I say it over and over again. intelligence and compassion. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. someone will answer. dreams and desires. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. bad relationship and can keep on going. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. Make some calls. Think and dream about your future.

© Copyright 2003. husband. Vent when you are alone. But when you are with someone you care about. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care 25 . words can destroy you. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. our child. And that’s really what venting to another person is. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scream and yell and swear all you want.Each of us. wife. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. Once said they are out there forever. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. words can hurt you.

Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. DIETING. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. conditions and illnesses. In fact. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. © Copyright 2003. AND -. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way 26 . No one is born with such a brain -. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. thought patterns and thought habits. depression. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. According to Dr. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. and just like any other habit. As research continues in this area. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. if this work fulfills its potential. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Jill Ammon-Wexler. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.even into very advanced old age. it is important to cultivate a sense of is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. According to is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. but in essence they are just like any other habit.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -.D DEPRESSION. Researchers like Dr. suicidal feelings. however. Dr. Miller goes on to is created. In addition. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. if we want to.

I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. © Copyright 2003. healthy muscles.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. Think about that a moment. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. What it does understand. I just want to be happy. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a 27 . are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. etc. “unhappy”. what we say to ourselves.use it or lose it. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. What we think. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. though. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. even more importantly. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. fulfilled life. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. I don’t want to be around negative people. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. “disappointed in my relationships”.

Woman’s World. 100 times more.” observes Dr. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone).. 2005. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Ph. Parkinson’s disease. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese.D. So. Pay attention to what you are thinking. stroke and Alzheimer’s. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Reflect on the positive. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. is originating on a deeper. Fixing one problem can often help the other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. it will continue to go on. subconscious level. whether it is physical or emotional. When you can take a truth and internalize it. heart disease. including cancer. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. October 18.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. with the aid of hypnosis. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. on a subconscious level. epilepsy. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. reflect on the contrary. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. Take responsibility for your thoughts. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. When there is negative thinking. Bruce Cohen. Massachusetts. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much 28 .

and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. the second diet was only three meals a day. and these are serious issues indeed. First we were told that fat. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. Part of one study. any kind of fat. then we were told maybe it isn’t. is bad for you. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). people. particularly among our young people. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. but in addition. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. according to the New York Times. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. And throughout all of it. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists 29 . and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. Chocolate was bad for you. test or theory. we are really only getting part of the story. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. and of course. Confusing. sometimes to death. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. never a comparison with all the other studies. © Copyright 2003. especially in the United States. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. now again we are hearing. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. diet and weight. we just don’t want to do it. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. When most of us think about diet and weight. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. The first diet included six small meals a day. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. especially our young women. The truth is. it seems as if all the doctors. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused.

” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. Just as with any weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. weight issues are rarely just about weight.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. In fact. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. one of the first things I tell them is. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. it can include abandonment issues. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. © Copyright 2003. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. As we live our lives. confidence or happiness. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. satisfaction. With the internet available to all of us. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. Knowledge is indeed power. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. Releasing negative thoughts. by taking control of our thoughts. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. and getting the right kind of support and advice. both emotional and physical. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right 30 . a lack of fulfillment. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. just how can we overcome these physical cravings.

we need to develop knowledge about Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. Look at yourself. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. observe how you feel. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. take control of your thoughts and change your life. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. If you don’t like it.e. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. that we keep going back to it. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. what does your world look like. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. in fact. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first.Knowledge. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. what do you think about. what do you see. I keep going back to this one phrase. though just an illusion. © Copyright 2003. fear. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. So wonderful. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. This is. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things.. i. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. You can continue the work on your own. though is not just about external 31 .

Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. As I’ve written 32 . The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. EMOTIONS. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. © Copyright 2003. has no value of its own. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Not a hypothetical path. any negative experience. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. fear. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. ENERGY. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. addictions and phobias. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. anxiety. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. anger. general stress. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. depression. including depression. posttraumatic stress disorder. a negative experience itself.

The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. war trauma or severe physical illness. understanding the negative experience is not enough. EFT can help with both the cravings. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. do not use self-hypnosis. With regard to addictions. and more importantly. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. emptiness and anxiety. As stated earlier. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. to addiction. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. © Copyright 2003. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. weight loss to pain and illness. Remember. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and 33 . The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. In addition. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. With or without hypnosis. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. deprivation.

meditation. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. Ryke Geerd Hamer. but our physical health as well. For example. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. By forgiving. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. hurt. One such study by Dr. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. resentment. accidents and increased workplace injuries. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. hostility. Likewise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. hurt and unforgiveness. But what you are doing is letting go of your own 34 . The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. even more importantly. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. It can even be linked to suicide.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.

exposure to toxic substances. such as 35 . Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. it prevents depression. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. pathogens. white flour. etc). Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. In addition to nurturing your mind. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. but it is not.specifically. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. whole grains. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. that we are out of balance. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). In most cases of cancer. vaccines. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. diet. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. seems somewhat contradictory. Throughout this book you will find theories. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial.

or an inability to let go and just relax.who have the ability to relax more fully. Hypnosis can help you. but balance will return. stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. © Copyright 2003. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just 36 . The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. imagery. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. While listening to your hypnotherapist. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. So.

net 37 . Drink more water. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Their phytonutrients . Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. try counting the chews in each bite. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. aiming for 30 to 50 times. FEAR. Chew properly. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. Fruits and vegetables and spices. FOCUS. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. © Copyright 2003. Healthy fats. safflower and vegetable oils. turmeric. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. nuts. soy. 2. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Increase your intake of fish. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. Eat the right foods. primary by reducing the inflammation. which as we know reduce inflammation. garlic liberally. Fiber.carotenoids in carrots.F FABULOUS. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. The indigestible parts of fruits. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. until the food becomes liquid. whole grains. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1.

If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. As a matter of fact. our organs. The solution: Sweat. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. which creates less gas. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. Pesticides. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. But breathing is also effective. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sweat – cleans up your system. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce 38 . take deep breaths. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. chemicals from manufacturing.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. Our blood is what creates our cells. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. our tissues. our skin. Eat homemade food. Losing weight gradually . Detox is a relative term. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Detox. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. 5. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. but so will saunas and hot baths. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. chew. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine.) If under pressure at meals. Breathe. 3. 4. 6. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. our hair.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. Any form of exercise helps. Regular exercise should make you sweat.

Tai chi -moving meditation . (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. refined flours. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. diary products. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. you sure can laugh at one. 8. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. improving your healthy well-being. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. 7. etc. focused. boost mood. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. I call it facial meditation.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. 9. Even if you can’t tell a joke. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. bread. fried is delicious. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. grains. our jobs. hydrogenated fats. Healthy sex life enhances your 39 . fats.consists of slow. Laugh. Take the laughter yoga class. Have sex. our relationships. Have a home-made facial. 10. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. meats. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. © Copyright 2003. relaxes your body. and improve overall health. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes.

When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. though. That one thing is FEAR. healthy and joyous life you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. that one thing. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your 40 . one thing seems to come up most frequently. a short while. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. insomnia or lack of FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. FEAR: fear of change. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. or even worse. fear of failure. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. fear of success. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. it keeps us from making a big mistake. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. mood swings. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. what we expect. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.naturalcounselor.

stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. and life just gets better and better. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. we have chosen. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. Something that is important to you right now. the world of adults. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. we were told to leave those dreams behind. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Your goals must be your very own. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. the more connected we feel. in order to be an adult. When you have specific. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 2. we are afraid to dream. for the most part. friends and lovers live this kind of life. We were told to grow up. This is wrong. and grow up. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. afraid of disappointment. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. have a reasonably happy 41 . to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. instead. get out your list and read it again. As children we were free to play. relationships. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. Be honest. as we grew older. © Copyright 2003. People without strong desires slowly whither away. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. write down your goals and if you did write them down. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. career and health because you are afraid of failing. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. If you haven’t done so already.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. the more vibrant and alive we become. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. But. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. pretend and let our imaginations soar.

talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle.3. crying and so on. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. even though we would gladly give it if asked. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. it’s hard to focus. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. life coach or whomever and ask for support. FOCUS Look around you. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. laughing. As an example. 4. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. 5. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. You know. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. push yourself to ask for help now. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. doing something together. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Focus. Use them. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. a powerful tool. parent. if your goal is to run a marathon. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or 42 . breathing things. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Sometimes. When you say your affirmations out loud. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head.

success and fulfillment. physical and emotional well-being. touch. This is commonly referred to as memory. negative or neutral to our mental. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. health. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. forgive and accept forgiveness. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. recorded on brain and body cells. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to 43 . By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. interpersonal and relationship problems. whether asleep or awake. During the course of a day. though. smell and hearing. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. psychological imbalances. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. It disables your emotional resources. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. Luckily. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. resentment or anger.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. When we go through periods of stress. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. sight. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. that release. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. Over time. it still exists in our subconscious. you are bombarded with millions of message units. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. confront the situation as needed. affirmative statements. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. The subconscious processes everything. our subconscious is able to do this for us. and its effects may be positive. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. © Copyright 2003.taste. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness.

The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. 44 . we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. They are also © Copyright 2003. existing situation. fear and anxiety. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. 2. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. anger.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. During the Releasing session. tears. 6. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. laughter and perspiration. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. 4. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. 3. Once learned. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. This not only applies to a current. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Even when we sleep long hours. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness.

As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. disappointment. and feeling great. As people from all backgrounds. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. such as anger.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. “I release (relevant emotions. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. as a Soul. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. 8. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first 45 . have learned. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.). Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). can be done alone. and your body and life are the printout. function as a computer operator. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. sadness. etc. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis.” 7. the Releaser is asked to state.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. once learned. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. including health care professionals and clergy. however. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. © Copyright 2003. the brain is your biological computer.

The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. Sometimes. I don’t know about you. if you think about a color. not really happy. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. your current life situation. something that is crucial to goal setting. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. Without goals. A state of being is not an emotion. A really simple way to test this theory is this. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. This same principle works the same way for emotions. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. meaningful and exciting. not only does life get depressing. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. an activity or a thing.’ it is who you are right at this very 46 . After you’ve done this. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. fun. Not only in your own relationships. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. Think of it as a game. Conversely. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. though. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. a diversion to keep life interesting. “I don’t know what I want. Each of us is already whole. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. thoughts and ideas. whether it is an emotion. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. take the color blue for example. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. You choose what you want in your life.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. We find ourselves drifting along. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. If you think about anger. you can change it by setting yourself some goals.

Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. Don’t forget about free will. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. If you do this regularly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. change is the whole point. simple Measurable. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. But you can’t manifest everything you want. they will never be overwhelming. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. keeps us feeling alive. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. it just means you make an adjustment. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. © Copyright 2003. Adjustments are a good 47 . I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. sometime weekly. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. doesn’t mean I can have him. it would be a boring and scary world. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. not if you want to improve your life.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. responsible. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. He’s got free will just as we all do.

© Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. set those goals. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto 48 .Remember. So. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.

aid with gastrointestinal ailments. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. turning some functions on and others off. imagery.H HEALING. and help strengthen the immune system. Ph. visualization and positive suggestions. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. It can help relieve pain. lower blood pressure. there is “some overlap with meditation” however.D. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. In a pilot study published in 1999. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. Working from the inside out. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. relieve depression and so much 49 . directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. releasing negative thoughts. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). speed up healing after surgery. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine.. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. by using specific. As David Spiegel.

particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. The suggestions. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. though. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. anxiety and the need for painkillers. During the operation. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. in terms of levels of pain. Arreed Barabasz. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. empathic care provider and hypnosis. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. soothing kind of treatment. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. that’s because it is. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. and the third received standard 50 . They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. Every 15 minutes.

net 51 .” says Spiegel. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. which could account for heightened attention. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. you actually see it. “It’s not just a fantasy. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. On average. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. involving more than 330 patients. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks.” Using imaging technology. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. the hypnotized patients used less medication. realizing all the possibilities available to you. While in the trance. A journey that you can now control. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. If you think you are seeing color. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex.” says Marc Schoen. Spiegel and Lang found. In effect. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. And this list goes on and on. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. psychologists say. Once again. experienced less pain. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. then the real fun can start. the brain’s manager and planner.

© Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. this spark can grow a little dim. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. Problems that we encounter every single day. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. As we each move through 52 . Each incident throughout the day affects us. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. All life starts as a spark. hurt. With a bit of practice. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. tension and minor frustrations. hurt. My purpose is to help them remember. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. though. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. Some little problem or some big problem. resentment. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. Try it once and feel the results. stress. Sometimes. unpleasant. you can do this exercise while awake. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. fear. we each have to deal with something. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. We have to cope with irritating. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images.jealously. rude or just plain nasty people. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. When I say fuel.

euphoria and control of your life again. however. a professor of psychology at Harvard. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. comfort. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life.” Using hypnosis. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. but the results will amaze and delight you. Some pleasant. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. relaxed. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the 53 . clarity. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. more positive thoughts. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. © Copyright 2003. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. every message unit. you create a vivid. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. and much better about yourself. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. As a result. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. According to Stephen Kosslyn. you will feel refreshed. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. not only will you feel better immediately. Try hypnosis. The more visual and real you make your goal. feel or react. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. If there is anything in your world. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. anything at all about yourself. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session.

The brain is simply another organ in your body. etc. fear or confidence. However. mend your ways.” Cheryl O’Neil. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. Conversely. failure or success. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy.I IMAGERY. feel more loved. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. can often help the other. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down.cheryloneil. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. heal your body.. Simply put. 2006. once wrote. fixing a problem in one place. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. who I especially admire. good or bad. and change your life . Your ability to overcome obstacles. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. boost your mood. More and more doctors as well as patients. what we say to ourselves. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. As stated in Woman’s World. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depressed © Copyright 2003.” What we think. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. create passionate relationships. What we experience as feelings. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy Cheryl is talking about imagery. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are 54 . www. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. determined by the thoughts you think. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. September 26. Never. build self-confidence.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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Reiki. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Self Esteem. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. The fourth part is training your mind. Private & Group Coaching. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Motivation. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. 98% of the time I am right.qualifiedlifecoach. You rise above thinking in mediation. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. use a deck of cards. NewBeginnings Another way I practice is with elevators.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to 58 . You know that saying. © Copyright 2003. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Go with your first impression you get from each card. “What we think about we bring about. Law of Attraction. Abundance. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it.

enjoy their life. You feel violated. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. You want to stop what you are feeling. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. no matter what that entails. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. envy. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. You want revenge. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. in control of yourself and your partner. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. projections. you may go into a rage. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. and if so. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. It is essential to communicate clearly. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 59 . Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Often. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. You want to see them become more of who they are. delusions. That’s the truth of love. and grow. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. You are angry. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. succeed. If you can cool down. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning.

you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. If your relationship is based on Attachment. not within the relationship. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. Jealousy is like an onion. you cannot make a person love you. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. the jealousy resides within you. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If you move inward and look at yourself. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. You can give yourself the gift. If you can do this. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. you cannot. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a 60 . It does not. © Copyright 2003. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture.

get rid of the ones that aren’t working. the truth behind what you are feeling. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. This is projecting. You do not own it. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. you can reach 61 . It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. We think that we should be able to rise above it. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. really look and analyze them. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Projection. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Look at the reality. Another layer is projection. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. envy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. This is natural and normal. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. It is their own. These all grow out of expectation. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. there is nothing to feel guilty about. Another layer can be guilt. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. This insight. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. The truth is that for most of us. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Look at your beliefs. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Going down to an even deeper layer. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. guilt or anger. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. we find envy. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy.

You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. but attachment. Open your heart and mind to it. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. they still don’t meet your expectations. They come from our past. look deep within yourself at these feelings. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. you become yourself possessed. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. Surrender to it. and let that be who you are. then what you are experiencing is not love. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. the resentment and the hurt. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. By looking deep within. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You can choose to move away from those feelings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of being alone.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. If you are experiencing jealously. If you find yourself doing this. If you love someone. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. You do not need to experience jealously. let that guide you. fear of not being worthy of love. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. You become vulnerable. When you love. Perhaps you fear 62 . our childhood. you can watch that love radiate out for all. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Hypnosis can help. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. Once you release the anger. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. frequently they are not real. When you attempt to possess another person. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. © Copyright 2003. Fear of loss. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid.

Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior 63 . The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. but generally the concept is basically the same. if you prefer. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. all of which determine our future. Most people © Copyright 2003. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. or alternatively. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. present and future and because of this. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions.K KARMA. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. There is no judgment involved. Just a thought. Jain.

There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination.associate Destiny with fate. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. prophet. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. saint or seer. In the belief systems of many cultures. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. As stated above. fate and destiny are not the same. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In the Shang dynasty in China. participate and change the direction you are 64 . Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. © Copyright 2003. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. If you are not satisfied with your life. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. but fate makes no allowance for free will. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Step in.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Fate implies no choice. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman.

LOVE. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. “Let the chips fall where they may”. LIFE. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad.” It’s about where you put your focus. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that can help you with exactly that. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. For example. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. start by writing it 65 . The old saying. “What you think about will happen in your life. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups.000. The concept of the law of attraction is. © Copyright 2003. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. is a good analogy.00 a year income. What ever it is.

You asked for what you wanted. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. now grab it.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. pay attention to what happens next. You have made it clear. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. Now that you have set this up. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. allowing it to happen is vital. There is something there to be learned or gained. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. you then attracted it. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just 66 . It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. pay attention. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. etc. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. don’t panic. talk to those people. I promise you it will show up. Now the key here is to follow up with this.

Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth.qualifiedlifecoach. www. originally thought of. Go to my web site for more information. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. that is the Universe telling you go…. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. Group Coaching. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more 67 . you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. You never. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. who has no idea that she is. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot you used them to learn about yourself.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. life is messy. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. tele-classes and resources are offered. So live your life. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. intelligence and love you hold the key to every a different package. she said “You didn’t waste those years. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. Not only that.” And I realized as she told me this. It is never wasted and it is never lost. maybe © Copyright 2003. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Individual Coaching. a very wise woman. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. She told him something I want to share with all of you.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. The sooner we realize and accept that. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.

trust . I was reminded recently. 68 . sex. I’m not sure why exactly. A noun. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. com·pas·sion. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. compassion and faith. partnered. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. dating.] Shak. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. romance. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Definition: To pity. then. living this life to experience love. you are perfect. [Obs. often including a desire to help. © Copyright 2003. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. t. First. I know. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. married or alone. but yes. all kinds of love. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. healing. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. never have. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first.” When we talk about compassion. some which I like and others not so much. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Compassion (Com-pas’sion).

wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky.K. in the process. someone around you. and. measurable phenomenon. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. Give yourself a break. one that you can get behind. then someone else. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. Luck is a real.Another thing that is so important to 69 . lazy or self-indulgent. heal others and yourself. nobody can make it for you. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. My only question to your would be this. with all their faults. can start to love themselves as well. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. those we live with. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. work with or just come into contact with. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. then maybe. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. that negative voice in your head. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. as well. © Copyright 2003. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. Instead of listening to that old record.

This can make treatment especially difficult. During the past 50 years. (Harvard Medical School). not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. with all these statistics facing us. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. sex. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. but the underlying causes vary. February 26. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.M MALE DEPRESSION.e. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. 2007 article. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. certainly not for a real man. In addition.” Michael Craig Miller. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health.D. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. And yet. and so do the ideal treatments. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. In the past. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. or even make the depression worse. M. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. the depression and the cause of that depression. “Depression may look like a single disease. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. the addiction issue) rather than the true 70 . Depression can manifest in many different forms. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. As Dr..

Sometimes. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. love and happiness beyond measure. difficult and painful process. fear. Woman’s World. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. Working from the inside out. bitterness. Edward M. As I quote above. smooth and without bumps or potholes. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. October 18. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. 2005. This is not easy. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. When you release the hurt. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. without 71 . a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. With the aid of hypnotherapy. without wanting or meaning to. you take back control of your own life. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. During the course of this journey and these detours. however. hurt.. There are detours that we must take. resentment. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about.D. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. Using © Copyright 2003. Ph. fear or anger that you are experiencing. As Dr.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. helping you regain strong mental-health. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. Hallowell. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. the healing process. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. When you recognize that this is occurring. guilt and depression. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. When this occurs.

© Copyright 2003. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried 72 . eating disorders. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. This has been proven by Dr. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. hurt. Dr. alcoholism. including diet. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. meditation. Holding onto anger.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. pathogens. drug abuse and depression. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. but our physical body as well.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. a German physician. can lead to serious food addictions. hostility. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resentment. With the help of 20. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Ryke Geerd Hamer.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. In addition.000 brain scans.

emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. In addition to nurturing your 73 . Take control of your own thoughts and actions. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. It requires that you develop a success mind. but to your thoughts as well. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. whole grains. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. white flour. Meditation works. anger is what you will bring into your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. if you focus on anger. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. etc). Success is a process of continually learning new information. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. and this applies to any negative emotion. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur.D. Success is largely an inner game. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. and © Copyright 2003.exposure to toxic substances. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. etc. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. use it and use it frequently. Ph. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. yoga can help. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. I have been there and there is a way out. This is a way of thinking. thought or image. Believe me. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. guide them in a positive direction. vaccines. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger.

Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. generate new ideas. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. © Copyright 2003. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. but also change the world. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. fear of what other people will think. fear that we are not good enough. if you talk to any star athlete. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. hardship. learn from your mistakes. While success requires action. and create new realities. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. and failure. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. see unlimited possibilities. conditioning. You will have to change to be successful. Gather new information. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. Take time to dream. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. Develop a process to examine your fears. foster creativity. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. exploring one more option or opportunity. the less we fear 74 . The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. Fear of change. The success mind trains itself to ask. Yet. you simply need to start. Take action. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. or successful businessperson. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. make adjustments along the way. fear of failure. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. inventor.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. possibility is in the dreaming. This is one of the laws of success. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). fear of hard work. and keep moving forward. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams.

The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. create. your world and your success. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. and grow. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. The time to begin is now. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. form opinions. Not simply because you say yes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your actions. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. you likely will feel fear. Mental toughness. But once you say no to an opportunity. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. try on new perspectives. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into 75 . When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. adventure. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. As you do this. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. When you say yes. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. and success. think. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. It is never too late to develop your success mind. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Question. experience. challenge. You continue to grow. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. your feelings. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. Remember. Your thoughts. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again.

bestlifedesign. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. redirect the effort. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. mediator. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible.molliemarti. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.D. Stop caring what other people think. lawyer. and smart for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.D. make corrections. is President of Best Life Design. better.success and rewards your effort. Inc. © Copyright 2003. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Dream big and take consistent. or www. Visit her at www. performance coach. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. and healthier 76 .. directed. Mollie Marti. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. J. engage again and refuse to quit.. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Ph.

disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. sales. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. Unfortunately. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. However. and interpersonal influence. There is. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. © Copyright 2003. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. John Grinder. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. management training. sports. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. Robert Dilts. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). Frequently when NLP is mentioned. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. linguistics and computer 77 . These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. however. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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red would probably not be the best color to use. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. Whether it makes us happy or 81 . remember that red not only represents life force. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. Also. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. activity. You have the power to change your perception. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. health healing. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. Use it for minor headaches. think we are making progress or stagnating. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. growth. fire. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. occurrence. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. use Yellow) money. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time.

Basically. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Depending on the phobia. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. Once you have faced your phobia. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. But the results tend to be 82 . Relief is truly immediate. there will be no emotional response. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. If you are suffering from a phobia. but it is not a gift at all. Sometimes. control it and use it wisely. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. it can make your life almost unbearable. You are then taken back to the phobia again. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. Perception is a powerful thing. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. By the time your therapist is done. though. © Copyright 2003. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. this power. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. Take control. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. It can be done in person and over the phone. this is how it works. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life.

fun. joyful and full life filled with love. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. © Copyright 2003. it may be necessary to make some changes. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. prosperity includes a rich. and not just money or things. however.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. fear of failure. fulfillment and yes. Fear of change. Marti. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. In order to accomplish this. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. you will enjoy them immensely. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. happiness. and not just a lack of money or things. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. both written by Dr. thinking and 83 . even fear of success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. money as well. Frequently they are a result of fear.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. Mollie W. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while.

and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. external universe. touch. solid. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any 84 . Superstring Theory. String Theory. It appears undeniably to be out there. space. EPR Paradox. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. and hear it. they are all phenomena within the mind. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. in about three or four paragraphs! So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. independent and apart from us. Grand Unified Theory. However real and external these images may seem. instead. Loop Quantum Gravity. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Schroedinger’s Cat. M-Theory. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. We can see it. separate from us. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. because what was a mechanical. and tangible. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. touch it. Time. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. They exist within consciousness. however. in addition. around us. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Theory of Everything. not the other way around. Quantum Gravity. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. smell. In the dream it all seems very real. © Copyright 2003. the Copenhagen Interpretation. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. Unified Field Theory. hear. as I started to research this a bit. utterly real. Supersymmetry. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. taste. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). standing as a physical world.

So. huh? So. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. Cool. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. and there’s only one real way to do 85 . the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.

E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. It is the physical who 86 . These two distinct types. Unfortunately. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. read on. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. if you are not. congratulations. © Copyright 2003. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. First. our behavior patterns. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. how they can come apart. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.R RELATIONSHIPS. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. cries or screams when upset. In addition. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. RELEASING. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. possibly even throws things when angry. However. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous.

Their first priority is their career. In relationships. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. Next would be their children. And that’s a good thing. then hobbies. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. When they first meet. She is happy. She on the other hand. Let’s cover very briefly. the relationship is of primary importance to her. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. To her partner it is his career. outgoing. is quite a bit different. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. The emotional. After all. his career. But let’s look into the future several months. I really do mean attraction. on the other hand. So he starts spending more time at work. This is natural. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. he cannot understand why. For the physical. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. And boy do they do relate. secure and © Copyright 2003. what the priorities of each are. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. When I say E&P attraction. When his partner complains that they never see each other. With the physical female.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. longer hours at the 87 . they see each other every night what more could she want and why. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is.

pleasant and you feel great afterwards. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. When you understand how the other thinks. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Interestingly enough. though. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. © Copyright 2003. With communication you can understand each other. When we are healthy and balanced. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear and guilt. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. Plenty. sadness. Sometimes. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. releasing occurs naturally. to get clear on your goals for the future. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. communication is key to any successful relationship. 88 . Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. The process is quick. This is done through imagery and suggestion. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. What can be done about this. Release anger. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on.

This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. hurt. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. process and recall information. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. Negative expectations. unpredictability and lack of control. fears. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. anger. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. positive thoughts. Both techniques are effective. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. If your subconscious is ready. physical. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. use your downloadable sessions first.D. body and emotions. and emotional states. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right 89 . Ph. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. doubts. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. That may been all you need at this time. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward.

Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. You spend mental. For example. to your computer. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. You wake up and your first thought might be. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. each and every day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. Rather. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. Think and say. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. As you spend energy during the day. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. you are ready for it. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. make a choice to expect positive results. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use 90 . in and of © Copyright 2003. Rest is any activity. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Many rituals are quite simple. and in countless other interactions.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. As you add them to your day. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. “It’s gray and cloudy. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. reading a book.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. It’s going to be a gloomy. You give energy away to other people. over the telephone. taking in a deep breathe. boring day. build in ways to recoup your energy. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.

Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. anger. After a 90-minute presentation. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on 91 . These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. after working at your computer for an hour. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. linking it with a unique physical action.itself. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. Influence Management: Before any performance. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. You’ve © Copyright 2003. rhythmic breathing. fatigue. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. guilt. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. frustration. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. and discarding the emotion. nervousness. When you carry negative emotions like fear. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. For example. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. you are less able to concentrate on your task. which is pleasurable and restorative. and anxiety. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head.

“OK. can be viewed as a distraction. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. try to use the same type of focal point. She chose a cloud as her focal point. . it also had drifted off. consciously look at your focal point. but when it came time to start. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. back to my task. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. © Copyright 2003. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This leads to a less than stellar performance. I image a red line on the floor. a piece of art. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. prior to a presentation or meeting. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. works well. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. For example. such as a doorframe. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. As you travel or perform in different locations. Any time you get distracted. A tangible engagement cue. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. If you are in your office or in a conference 92 . Before you perform. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. As I cross the line. I “turn on” my full engagement.simply applied a band-aid. It immediately precedes the performance and says. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. body and emotions that it is time to perform. you might choose a banner. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. even if it is a good thing. Yet. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. . If you travel. or a clock on the wall. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind.

She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. J. A close companion is the use of stimulants. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. including caffeine and adrenaline.molliemarti. concentration.D. better. This means that if you get away from your rituals. Visit her at www.bestlifedesign. and success. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. alcohol.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of 93 . and food as relaxation or coping techniques.. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.. is President of Best Life Design. Ph. and healthier lives. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. happier. performance coach. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. It will throw you off. it won’t feel or www. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. mediator. Mollie Marti. successful entrepreneur. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. As part of this process. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. lawyer. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. If you cannot identify your rituals. they will provide great consistency.D. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. © Copyright 2003. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. Inc. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

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The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. such as hormonal imbalances. apples. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. causing irritability and nervousness. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. salmon. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. moodiness and nervousness. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. exhaustion. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. depression. broccoli. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You need eat more avocados. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as be one of the first things that goes. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Calcium. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. Almonds. Vitamin B12. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. worry. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. kale. etc. fear. chronic fatigue. sesame seeds. apricots. brown rice. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. © Copyright 2003. fish. oats. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. blood sugar fluctuations. bananas. Vitamin B6. Unfortunately. prunes. depression. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. cabbage. asparagus. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. 97 . impatience. irritability. leafy vegetables. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. mustard greens. seafood. kelp. garlic. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure.

dates. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. Squeeze a squishy ball. such as a squishy ball. Walk. insomnia or lack of energy. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. In addition. salmon. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Call a friend. Kiss. green leafy 98 . Start squeezing something. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. mood swings. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. to work away your tension. tuna and whole grains. oranges. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. barley. our cortisol levels drop. Foods rich in folate are © Copyright 2003. who will take care of our children. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. nobody will. a founder of NaturalCounselor.naturalcounselor. Sing. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. Bottom line though. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. root vegetables (such as potatoes. though. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. our family? So let us be stress smart. mushrooms. lentils. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. legumes.Folic acid. carrots and turnips). you must relax. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but if something happens to us. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. brown rice. I know mine always have been).

You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. If you wake up today focusing on debt. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. For example. if you are having a problem with money. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. I used to feel that way often. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. If you wake up today affirming an illness. I know I have. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. If you understand that. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. because you cannot stand still. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself 99 . Energy is constantly in motion. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. but to the energy of the present moment. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. According to the laws of physics. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. a feeling. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one).” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. You think about the future and you tighten up even more.

Pain sufferers. Hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. You need to make room for change. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. © Copyright 2003. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. for example. can influence the body to heal itself. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. During the sessions. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. Ph. smooth.. And. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. and elastic.D.D. meanwhile. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. You don’t have to create change.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. It is only important that it does. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple.” So. really. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. Ph. the truth is. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. for most people. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. our results suggest.” Ginandes 100 . it doesn’t matter why it works.

just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Remember. it is what feels best for you. When you have determined the directions of past and future. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. for you happiness and your abundance.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. Take your time with this. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. If it’s behind you. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. your love and your joy. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Take responsibility for your life and 101 . There is no correct answers. Remember. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. © Copyright 2003. look down on the Time Line. to the left or to the right.

net 102 . You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. I’d like you to consider another alternative. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. even if they cannot give it back. It can look that way to others. you made a mistake. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. Without getting specific about each of them. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. You procrastinated. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. © Copyright 2003. bad things just happen. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. you stuck by the wrong person. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Sometimes what you need. You need them to tell you to be strong. It might not have looked that way to others.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. another may practice Hinduism. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. 103 . Picture yourself at age 80. 85. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. you need to define what it is you want. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. © Copyright 2003. For example. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. whatever feels right. 90. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. First. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. while another may be a Wiccan. Spirituality.

are you really meant to be together. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. What you might think is wrong.Now think back over your life. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. but not only that. Perhaps you are abused. mugged or even raped. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. friends. or even the perceptions of our family. However. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. © Copyright 2003. Remember. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. is you. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. If it is what you believe. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. Figure it out early. Something very unpleasant. you will certainly feel violated. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. You might get angry. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. church and society. then your perception makes it right. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. What areas cause you regret. Think about all the value areas of your 104 . What value areas of your life are you happy with. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. then you’ve got a problem. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication.

Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh.S. my friends don’t understand me. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. my kids don’t show me any respect. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. Life. happiness and joy available to each of us. it means you are not responsible for anything.. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. and society actually encourages this 105 . It wasn’t fun. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. And. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. A rather sad. my mother didn’t understand me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. my mother didn’t give me enough love. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. etc. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people.I want you to consider something. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. Here in the U.. But just take a moment now and really think about it. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. etc. my wife doesn’t understand me.” But. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. for what you do and what you say. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. my husband ignores me. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. etc. But now. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life.

And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. is powerful beyond belief. eventually. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.who you are. we lose everything. etc. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. September 26. If we take back control. The woman who has come out of a nasty. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. If that is taken away from us . Fixing a problem in one place though. You had to be strong. 2006. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. beautiful heart and so much love to give. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. etc. it is the ability to enjoy life. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. please. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. As stated in Woman’s World. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. never © Copyright 2003. feel more loved. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Simply. each of us. build self-confidence. For example. 106 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. can often help the other. boost your mood. bad relationship and can keep on going.

© Copyright 2003. your 107 . depressed or negative. Is essence. If you are feeling down. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. relieve pain. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. yes imagery and visualization can change your life.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Use the power of your mind. So. increase your self-confidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. can change how your feel.

the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. First one.. included six small meals a day. before facts have actually been verified. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. If. WORDS. the only diet that had ever worked for them.) 3. Not only that. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. The truth is. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. 5. bleached flour. alcohol. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Confusing. 4. scientists. it’s good again. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. refined. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors.W WEIGHT. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life 108 . we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise.e. however. etc. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. diet and weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything.

Do you eat breakfast? 15. 9. 10. Out of all the food you eat in a day. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Do you associate a person.6. 7. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 19. 17. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 8. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Has your mother. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. © Copyright 2003. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 109 . 18. 20. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes.

by working it. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. you know that as strange as it may sound.Now. self-confidence. they include abandonment issues. You had to be strong. a lack of fulfillment. satisfaction. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. confidence and happiness. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” 110 . It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. We heal from physical injuries. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. WRONG! Words have power. survivors. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. Abuse victims. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. having said all that. You know © Copyright 2003. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. More often than not.

please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. dreams and desires.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. But you are wrong. Vent when you are alone. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. someone will answer. As a matter of fact. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. scream and yell and swear all you want. wife. lover. words can hurt you. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. I have to say this. but not only that. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. And that’s what venting to another is. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. keep your thoughts strong. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. But most of all. your talent. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. Your life depends on it After all. intelligence and compassion. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any 111 . But when you are with someone you care about. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. this planet needs you. Also. Think and dream about your future. The same holds true for what you hear. And for each of us. husband. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. throughout your life entire life. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. wider and stronger each and every day. call out for help. Make some calls. This is why “words” do have so much power.because I say it over and over again. find out what you can do. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Once said they are out there forever. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When this occurs. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003.

If you do not feel ready for that. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. when things are going smoothly. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to 112 . or. can help. If you can do this. © Copyright 2003. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. much like arthritis in wet weather. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you.withdraw into ourselves. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. especially in interpersonal situations. Releasing sessions can work well with these. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. However.

drinking. Make a promise to yourself. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Once you decide that you want to quit. Wait 10-20 seconds. And now let those images fade completely away. Of these two possible futures in your life. Make a commitment and a decision. healthy. BINGER ETC. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. clear and easy breathing. doesn’t it?. You have the opportunity to see a different future. your energy will flow in that direction. are you now sure which one you want. vibrant. very clearly. what is different and better. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. the decision becomes easy. you have a decision to make. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. drinker. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. vital. Wait 10-20 seconds. Whatever it is. Before you make that decision. binger or whatever. © Copyright 2003. 113 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the body you want. strong. You can choose to live your life. Notice how you feel. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Notice what you see. clear skin.X X SMOKER. When you have done this. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. DRINKER. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. What do you look like.

The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. So. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. © Copyright 2003. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. When you first begin to work your muscles. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy 114 . prosperity or anything on a conscious level.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. a better job. you always have a choice. you may never receive it. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. your life script. happiness. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. it does not mean you will receive joy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Everything in life is a choice. In making a choice. For instance. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. Compare it to strength training. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you can only lift a small amount of weight. your entire belief system. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. success. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time.

com To me. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. looking around. check it out at www. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list.According to Holly. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. © Copyright 2003. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. paying attention and experiencing life right where you 115 . revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. check it regularly.

Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. fight for your dreams and your goals. cause. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. it means a diligent enthusiasm. or ideal and the determination to further that person. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. cause. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. or ideal. And always remember this. intensity and passion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. please do it with zeal and without apathy. An antonym is 116 .

© Copyright 2003. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. While you are doing these three karate chops.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three 117 .” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. There are 15 points. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. To make this even more effective. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.” and the “sore spot. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. You can also visualize this word in your mind.” “gamut spot. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out.

8. 6. 10. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 12. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. you can use just one or two words. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or anything you want changed. Do what feels right for you. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 11. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. You can go through the tapping process several times.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 5.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 4. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. fear. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed.” © Copyright 2003. but do each issue separately. or DEPRESSED. 2. anxiety. 118 . 9. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. or AFRAID. 7. This is not a sentence.

I love myself. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. By burning away all anger and negativity. you open all pathways to love. As you do this. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. your connection with yourself is complete. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all 119 . hurt.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. ideas and beliefs within yourself. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. you also release all negative thoughts.” And that’s all there is to it. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. feelings. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. resentment or negativity away. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. And as your heart fire increases. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. © Copyright 2003. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. emotions. And as your heart fire increases. uncross your arms and legs. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace.

cleansing breath in and let it out. anyplace. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. If you feel like it and have the time. If another color comes to mind. see the image). you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. heal yourself and relax yourself. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. allow that color to flow in and out as well. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Then when you are ready. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. smell it. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. months or even years to be released. like salt. Then imagine or visualize white granules. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. See it. hear the waves and the birds. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. hours. weeks. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. NewBeginnings 120 . Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away.e.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. smell the salt. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. taking this time right now for myself. days. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. Take yourself fully into this place.. at the beach. hear it (i. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4…….

thoughts and feelings. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. relationship. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. Here’s my snapshot. You are in charge of your healing and your life. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. yourself. Let go of all tightness within you. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. emotions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. happy and having fun together. You are in control and in charge of your body. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your 121 . I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. my guy and I are in love. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. © Copyright 2003. or whatever it is your desire. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. activity.

net 122 . © Copyright 2003.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. With my thoughts I create my new. I say to myself RANCH. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. I vibrate with positive energy. I choose to forget past mistakes now. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. positive delightful reality. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. live in the moment and dream in the future. I keep saying ranch until that image. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

58.... 126............. 45...... 45. 46.............. 22.... 98.. 78 chronic pain ...... 37. 48.... 58.. 47. 63.. 31. 2.... 116 Bereavement .. 104. 127..... 78.... 16... 20. 55 Dawn Abraham .. 78 EFT ..... 78. 90 coronary disease.... 94. 95... 71...... 58.. 77.... 121. 7.5.... 129 alcoholism.......88 clarity 9...... 97.. 84... 29.... 5. 81.... 50... 102.. 6. 6. 33. 77......Index 12-step programs ......... 50................. 130 focus.. 130 epilepsy ...... 79 cancer....58 choice2.............. 78..... i ..... 37..... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma. 96... 114. 59.. 3 addiction . 46.. 113.. 77. 54.. 91.... 88.53. 89 fear 1....... 104.......24.............. 61. 41... 103....... 116. 5... 94...... 79.. 56.. 63.. 60............ 55.......... 25.. 78 E&P attraction . 122 chronic anger ...... 23. 78.......... 113 Abraham Hicks . 38.. 65. 26. 106. 104...125 anger ............. 71.... 67... 63................. 21. 46....... 119 confidence.....2.. 103..... 48. 129 food addictions.. 21.....86 Circle Therapy . 128. 101... 6.... 78 forgiveness.. . 52.. 35.... 8.......... 89.............. 21. 94 baggage... 3... 52.. 112.. ........ 81.... 44.. 105 darkest hour . 118 acute pain...... 36...... 91. 20...... 27.... 94. 31.. 43... 6... 75. 81...... 89. 52..... 6.121 blood sugar .. 3.... 47. 47. 109....... 34...1...... 114.... 97.. 127....... 55..... 130 apprehension.......... 39. 22......... 3 Alzheimer’s ... 126 adrenalin ....... 104..... 70...........8 Adrian Calabrese... 10....... 1... 35.... 37...... 76..... 129 diet ...24. 95.... 37......... 50. 60......D..... 96. 94..... 42... 101. 46. 32.. 15........... 94... 24. 44.. 103.. 2.. 126.. 43. 21.......... 6. 95 © Copyright 2003........... 22... 90. 79 Carol Ginandes.. 32..... 43... 78 affirmations....... 102... 47..... 114....... 12. 21 David Spiegel............... 57.... 35... 125... 32.. 74....... 60... 97... 87.. 107 Cheryl O’Neil . 98... 33.... 8... 94......... 6. 95... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att...... 92... Ph..... 44.. 32. 28. 44........ 44... 35. 53......... 84.9.. 36......2..30 anchor . 32.. Ph.... 76.. 7......86 addict ...... 7............. 78. 21.. 80..... 54......... 27. 36..3....... 105... 14........................ 43... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross . 38.. 94........ 78 alternative programs . 128 anxiety 7... 106.... 38....... 70. 35..... 7... 117.... 41. 123........ 5.. 115... 124 drinking.... 74.. 73 depression ... 97.. 21. 4............5.... 26. 73..7.. 71. 45..... 52.... 109............... 64... 97. 118 consciousness 8.........107 abuse 5..D.... 78 cortisol . 23... 37. 83......... 72... 36....7. 28. 36......... 122. 79.. 35... 23................ 79. 5.. 76 desire. 99.. 6.. 66... 37. 76.... 119. 88............. 53.. 114.. 71......... 121. 4.. 5......... 129........ 25..... 35.. 93.2. 45...... 24 eating disorders.. 10 binging . 19. 74.. 36.. 30.........54 association . 31........... 96.... 110 communication .. 131 dreams 22. 114......38....... 30 Eric Butterworth ...... 90... 97...........2..... 24...... 116 disease. 86.5...... 57.... 56.... 102... 81.. 32........... 4............ 27.... 44..1. 10...........5..... 121 drug abuse..... 89 balance .. 7 attraction .... 38.................... 80..... 127.... 22.........21 Arreed Barabasz ..... 5..... 76. 60........... 44... 125 energy ..... 55 emotional freedom technique ... 42.... 42....... 38...... 37... 21. 72... 39. 60...... 26....... 89.. 110....... 78.... 63........ 112 compassion . 35. 21.. 62....... 19..... 119...... 106. 81..... 12 Elvira Lang .. 18...30...... 104. 79 dream 1. 30...... 6. 27.

. 22... 43... 15......8........ 65....... 129 grief.... 4.. 58..36 joy .......... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 56.. 22. 129 resentment.... 6..... 46....... 37..... 77...... 29 neuro pathways . 87........... 21.. 105 Jane C.. 16..... 10. 67... 122 Ida Kendall ....... 27..... 14........ 78. 87 lose weight 4........ 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ...... 56..... 56...54 Irina Wardas ............... 83 overload . 31......... 32 phobia ... 79........ 59........ 38...37. 64........... 54... 58........ 10.... 121 snapshot ..... 44.. 79.. 86. 30.. 58...... 107 healing ...... 67.......... 37............. 115...... 118....40....... 77. 77. 36.. 128..... 1. 30.. 43. 64..... Woods ................... 57........32 hypnotherapy ......... 99.... 9... 122............ 34.....24.10... 71 life force....... 21...... 87.... 107....... 105... 57. 76. 58....................... 94 mood swings .................. 114 imagery ... 102.. 53... 37.... 26........... 77... 89. 32. 117 medicine...... 38.... 59... 89.. 89 phobias............ 54... 92........ 6 Pat Dennis............ 21.... 111.. 79.. 101.. 53............... 77... 22.. 78........ 13... 93... 77..... 43. 50.......... 35.83 John Kappas. 47...... 7........... 121 relationships24....... 22....... 55.. 109........ 109. 60..... 78 NLP...... 83 Robert Dilts.... 120 relaxation .1... 83 Roger Callahan ... 127.................. 86. 58...... 33. 37 powerless .................. 66.... 53... 8............. 101 self-image .......... 118 Gary Craig ............. 119. 47.. 65..... 39. 7. 120..2......... 93 message units ......... 120. 44...83 Law of Attraction..... 116... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute . 79. 78................. 39... 110.. 47........ 84... 57...... 77. 30...28 John Grinder . 119.......5... 47...... 58.. 42. 58........... 56... 113. 125... 59.... 103. 29. 37.... 81........ 35.................. 86... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking . 94... 116 happiness ...... 37. 37....11.......... 57 neural interconnections .. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.. 37...10.... 88............ 54.......... 78.. 15.3.... 60.... 89.. 36...... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ... 79.............. 63... 110. 76. 34.... 22.... 78.... 7..... 86 habits..76 Hridaya Yoga.............. 94.............. 46... 85... 9... 26. 118........ 83 nitric oxide .9. 79. 107...................... 10....... 128 Richard Bandler . 27. 130 Judith DeLozier . 87. 2.. 28. 127 hypersuggestible ... 5. 58. 101.......... 54................. 32............... 77..... 113 prosperity . 57....... 88...... 17 Janet Luhrs..... 6............ 53..... 69... 109. 6.9.. 118 self-talk .... 57............ 47. 107...... 32.fulfillment .. 49...................... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003.... 78...... 37............ 5....... 117. 75........ 53............5.............................30 high blood pressure....... 3. 36 Guilt . 37 self-esteem .. 5. 23.24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice...... 6. 95... 125 men ...... 42.... 59...... 32.... 13.. 59.. 29... 28............... 114. 83.... 129 heart disease. 47.... 67....7... 118.....12 habit .... 125 immune suppression . 25........ 122 Harvard . 10... 78....... 56 hurt.........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler . 109.....32 illness 36.. 56...... 43... 54.8 hypnosis ....... 45.. 8. 115 smoking. 53... 39... 84 panic attacks.. 76... 99... 50. 21.. 115....... 77..........10..... 42.......... 77. 127..... 95. ii .. 78... 6.... 103. 57.............. 63. 40. 52......... 30... 123...... 19....... 35. 113.. 30 passive-aggressive .. 110...... 51... 10.. 38... 74....... 78... 6........35 goal ........ 79........... 119 neuro-linguistic programming .7... 43................ 43.. 108 Parkinson’s disease. 5......

.......... 122 zeal... 120 suicide.....4........................ 85......................... 95.... 101..............107 trigger......................... 94..Stephen Gilligan .... 2....... 124 © Copyright 2003.... 78........... 47... 21.. 85....... 5................. 59....... 77................... 112................ 75...53 transformation. 120 yummy list .44.. 6....... 78.......... 37....5... 79 thought habits . 113...28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ......... iii . 47........ 77........ 114 visualization. 125............ 118.... 109........ 6.. 60.. 95..... 65.... 122.. 58............ 34......... 109 triggers ...... 26........ 29.... 43.... 106 wounds .. 38.................. 57........... 80............. 56.. 114 weight ... 84....... 116 Women.... 59.......... 48..... 37..... 8. 22..... 45..... 5...... 91. 77................. 111 victimhood ......... 107.. 115..6... 30....... 128 subconsciously........... 109.......... 10......... 114 triggering event .. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 7...... 34......83 Stephen Kosslyn ... 78 subconscious...........57 stress hormones ......... 37..... 6.... 30.. 110 Two Futures ... 79....... 44... 121 value areas of life............. 46......... 7......... 77. 36.......

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