An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. when given the proper instructions. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. feelings. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. emotions and perceptions. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. . I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. neuro pathways. As I said before.

.........................................................................37 FEAR ....... C..................8 BALANCE ..................................................................1 ADDICTION ............... ADDICTION..............32 EMOTIONS......... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE............................ ........1 ABUNDANCE ....... FEAR................................................ ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS.................................... ENERGY ........................................................................................................................................35 FABULOUS....................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ..............................46 B......................................... FORGIVENESS.. FOCUS.........................................................................................................................................................21 DEPRESSION..................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)............................................. AFFIRMATIONS...... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE........... G.......26 DEPRESSION ...............................................26 DIETING .......................... BEREAVEMENT ....................................................................... ANXIETY...........................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS......... F.......................... D.........3 ANGER ....2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .....18 COMMUNICATION ...............................................................................40 FOCUS .................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE .32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)............................................................. EMOTIONS....................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .................................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ............................................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE .............................................................46 SMART GOALS ..............................................................................................43 GOALS ................5 ANXIETY ..................................... DIETING...37 FABULOUS .........7 BALANCE..................................................................................................34 ENERGY .....................................8 CHANGE................................... E................ COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE................... ANGER...................................

.................................................... HYPNOSIS.....................................................................H....... J....................................... LUCK ....................................72 MIND SUCCESS .............63 KISMET .......................... M..........................................49 HEALING ...................59 JEALOUSY............... MIND SUCCESS ................................................................................................ O.................... L..................................................78 PAIN..................................65 LIFE......... MIND-BODY CONNECTION........................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ..........................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION......................................................... ............................................................................ PERCEPTION...........................................80 PERCEPTION ......................................................... HEALING................... N....................67 LOVE......................................................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).....................................................................54 INTUITION...63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.......69 MALE DEPRESSION.............68 LUCK . INTUITION............................................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ....56 JEALOUSY .............................................................49 HEART FIRE ................................77 OVERLOAD..... K...............63 KARMA ..............80 PAIN......................52 IMAGERY......................................... LOVE................................ PHOBIAS....................................................................................59 KARMA................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION..............................82 PROSPERITY .......... LIFE........................................84 I................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .......... P.................................................................. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).......................................... KISMET .................................................................................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ..51 HYPNOSIS...................................................... PROSPERITY ....................................... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS....................................................................... Q......................81 PHOBIAS ...........................................................54 IMAGERY...

................................................... STUCK ..................... YUMMY LIST ..........89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.. VICTIMHOOD....................... Y....114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).....110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)...........................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ...............................94 SELF CONFIDENCE.............................. DRINKER...........................................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ...94 SELF-TALK...........................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ................... ii........R.......................... V...... VISUALIZATION..........101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...............95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE................................. WORDS..................................... W..........113 TWO FUTURES .......................108 WORDS..........................122 INDEX ..............94 STRESS .....................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ..................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ........................................................................................ iii ........................................................................................................................................114 ZEAL ...........................103 VICTIMHOOD .................... WOUNDS ..104 VISUALIZATION ......................... Z.116 S.................................................................108 WEIGHT ...........................................................................................96 STUCK ........................................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS....................... RELATIONSHIPS................................................................................ U..................111 X SMOKER........86 RELEASING ...............................106 WEIGHT.................. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS............................................................. X........................................................................ BINGER ETC ... SELF-TALK...................... T............. EXERCISES .................................................................................................................. RELEASING.................... i..........................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT...................................................................................................................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.........................................................................103 VALUE AREAS....................................................

usually as a result of fear. it is filled with laughter. As a result. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. fear of success. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. Because of this. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. It is our perception of any event.A ABUNDANCE. © Copyright 2003. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. The future.net 1 . have feelings of joy or hopelessness. AFFIRMATIONS. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. Even when we know we have this tool. a life that is rich and full. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. love. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. we don’t trust it to be real. however. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. satisfying. incident. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. fear of failure. In order to make changes. indeed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ADDICTION. ANGER. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. money and success. Fear of change. excitement and yes. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. occurrence. even worse. think we are making progress or stagnating.

so.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Your first step. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. who you can call when you feel you might slip.e. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. however. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling.net 2 . Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Allow that desire to flow through you. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. you do have a choice. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. and life just gets better and better. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. at least while they are using their drug. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. alcohol. Unfortunately. the more connected you feel. however.. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. helps them suppress the pain. at least for a while. i. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. cocaine. A tempo that is magnetic. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. People without strong desires slowly whither away. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. It is important though. no matter what program you are going through. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. the more vibrant and alive you become.

org www.com www. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.passagesmalibu.net 3 . the addict.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.secularsobriety.habitdoc. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. then you. Many people.practicalrecovery. you will forever remain an addict. if it is not done. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. A friend of mine once told me. When you face this pain that you have been running from. so. I agree with this school of thought. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. www. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use.com www. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. The sooner we realize and accept that. but you don’t have to. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. However.

You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. • Be specific. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. then that means you are on the right track. So. Always create an image of what you want in your life. when what you really mean is.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. the steering wheel of your car. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. If necessary. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.” Or “I will lose weight.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. Don’t let fear hold you back. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system.” Or say. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. • Always remember this. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. that’s like moving uphill. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. When you move towards what you want.net 4 .” the message sent to your mind. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. always focus on what you want to move towards. your computer. not what you want to avoid.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. When you do this. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” • State your affirmations in the positive. © Copyright 2003. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday.

along with mourning.net 5 . When this is the case. If you see yourself as a victim. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it can be just as damaging. hostility. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. But some people seem to be angry all the time. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. and in small doses can be a good thing. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. Not only is this destructive to you. alcoholism. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. So. Even if we bury anger deep inside. you may see yourself as an avenger. and heart palpitations. anger is the most common response. cold hands. crying. Holding onto anger. hurt. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. In addition. then anger becomes a serious health risk. drug abuse and depression. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. looking for justice and revenge. you may blame others for your situation or condition. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. When a relationship ends. shaking. going from one trauma to the next. eating disorders. resentment. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. In situations that cause fear. can lead to serious food addictions. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. fatigue. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings.

however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. sarcastic. suicide. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. fear and hurt. it will never go away. If you feel powerless. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. and can lead to serious food addictions. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. cancer. Unfortunately. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. and stubborn. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. Remember. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. and even increased workplace injuries. and depression.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. alcohol and drug abuse. Also. expressing your anger in an indirect way. Power and anger are frequently related. releasing your anger. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. and can help make you more content. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. bitterness.net 6 . you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. In the past. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. but anger that may be directed at you by others. coronary disease. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. not only the anger you might hold within yourself.

phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis.net 7 . anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. flying. © Copyright 2003. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. nausea. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. anxiety. Also. fear or anxiety. driving a car.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. fear or anxiety. mood swings. being home alone. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. etc. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. Fears. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia.). It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. shakiness. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. weakness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. then it would make him happy as well. it didn’t work. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. No one can tell you how to be happy. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. Good advice. Twelve hours of day and night. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. Happiness. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. let them be a reminder to look inside. that happiness must come from within ourselves. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy.net 8 . These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. I told him the usual stuff. Just think about that a moment. Sometimes we need reminders. The problem was. then he’d really truly be happy. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. right? Yes and no. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a perfect balance. you know. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest.B BALANCE. No matter what you hear. getting involved with a church. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. place or thing that can make you happy. There isn’t another person.

Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. jane@changingpeople. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. Woods. to balance the light and dark within yourself. No matter how hard we may try.net 9 . Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. if we are angry. job or whatever you are seeking. lover. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. But even more than that. That means stop analyzing everything so much. fulfillment and life find you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are able to access your subconscious. desire. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. even the words we use. working for you. they allow the subconscious to grow strong.co. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. It will. feeling. the right kind of suggestions. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. stop thinking it to death. our voice. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. and in doing so.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. Whether it’s an emotion. happiness. In this state. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. They allow you to clear out the old. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. goal.

net 10 . Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. for example. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. That said. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.the intensity and duration may differ. and generally we prefer not to think about it. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. and so on. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. just a little. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. However. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. To a degree that can be true. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. you must do what is right for you. © Copyright 2003. letting relevant people know. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . It is an immutable part of the human condition.

Often that is enough. a normal response. or those suffering alongside us. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. when they are breaking bad news to patients. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. we may be compelled to visit the scene. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. disconcertingly. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. once the first shock waves have abated. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. recognizing it and naming it. © Copyright 2003. uncaring. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. We may need evidence. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. We probably feel unable to share this emotion.Denial A second common response. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. “If I do this. Some enlightened doctors know. and just plain wrong. we may need to be told several times. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt.net 11 . Help them tell you their feelings. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. It is unrealistic but again. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. is a refusal to believe the news. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. or for feeling angry.

create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour.net 12 . and even our clothing. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. when our behaviour. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. For example. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. like fundraising for a particular charity. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. You cannot short circuit this process. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. how to manage our grief. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. just let it go. even perhaps depressed. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. was decreed. I have lost someone significant in my life’. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave.

However hard it is. such as excessive use of alcohol. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. This does not mean forgetting them. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. feeling there is no point. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. you never go right back to the beginning. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. People want to help but they often don’t know how. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. not in any sense. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. we experiment with new ways of behaving. which can be a comfort. in this phase. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Experiment At some point. ask them. we begin to move on. © Copyright 2003. You may find. So. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. be it with a handshake or a hug. and this will of course vary from person to person. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse.net 13 . If you need a hug. however it feels. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. But actually. Let close friends offer you comfort.

I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. taking flowers to an appropriate place. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. or an offer of help with the shopping. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. Literally. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. ritual can be helpful at this time. If you can. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. a card sincerely written. take medical advice. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words.” © Copyright 2003. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. be it taking some homemade food round. surrounded by people. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Make your peace with that and all will be well. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Knowing this can help you plan for it. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Of course.net 14 . her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. be it lighting candle. Again. Helping In Western culture. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. as I have said. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. so we need to use our discretion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I hope it has been helpful however. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. whether for you personally. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others.

We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. jane@changingpeople. Sometimes. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. almost no one likes it. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Sometimes. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. and some simply telling you how to do it. depending on the severity of the change. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. Just remember this. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Woods. some anecdotal. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. even depressed.co.net 15 . we can get very fed up. depending on the change. Finally. Some people embrace change and some resist it. some research based.C CHANGE.

It may ring a bell with you. A Story Here is a short story about change. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. However. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. You are speechless at first. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. Finding they are. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. © Copyright 2003. You are feeling bright and chirpy. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Worse. “What?” you say.net 16 . I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming.

no one but you is going to see this. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. and. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below.But then. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. joy of joys.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. vulnerable. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office.. angry. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you.. don’t just focus on the negatives. or determined to make more effort. That is a fact to record on the top line. For example. did it make you sad. So. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. For example. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Use two different colours if you like. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. yes. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies.net 17 . or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.

no one makes us feel anything. They begin almost imperceptibly. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. Similarly with our responses to change. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our thoughts. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. Dawns. another to frown and feel aggrieved. At first. One may approach it in a positive way. while another may be much more fatalistic. The same principle applies to you. Sometimes. and therefore our feelings. Then. however.net 18 . However. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. Obviously. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. Actually. are funny things. But as the sun rises. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. For example. as the dawn progresses. overloaded message units and repressed fears. © Copyright 2003. our responses to change are individual and personal. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former.

you start to believe it yourself. you do not need to feel this way. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. © Copyright 2003. remember “dawn” can and will happen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. inept. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Giving you the feeling of freedom. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. confused or fearful. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. confidence. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. clumsy. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. apprehension and fear. need or want. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Ultimately. When this happens. detailed imprint of what you desire. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. given enough time and repetition. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful.anxiety and emotions. If you are starting to feel anxious. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). however. relaxation.net 19 . and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. you are in essence training your mind. Unfortunately. see the right path. even our physical health and well being. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Be absolutely clear about what you want. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. but will actually consider them an order. For example.

Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. abundance. want and desire. If you want a New Beginning. yoga. Trust that the Universe has. You will feel stronger. it is a journey. so. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control.achieving prosperity. with clarity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. It’s the life in your years. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. you always have a choice. you are actually living the life you want. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. in addition. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Know that no matter what things might look like. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. does and will continue to offer you what you need. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. As Abraham Lincoln once said. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. mold them and do it over and over again. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure.net 20 .” So live your life fully. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. realizing all the possibilities available to you. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. It does make a difference.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. Guide them. then the real fun can start. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. confidence and trust. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. all of your life. you need to be aware.

They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. courage. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. yellow balloon.knowing. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. engage and listen. look and listen.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. I truly believe that faith. © Copyright 2003. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. dolphins . The problem is that we communicate differently. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. It is important not to go looking for your sign. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting.net 21 . Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. our answers are all around us. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist.

how they can come apart. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. but E&P affects. it isn’t. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. In relationships. people don’t realize just how true this is. however. among other things. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. © Copyright 2003. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. These two types. cries. they will answer yes or no. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. the way we communicate with each other. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. screams. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. enjoys spur of the moment activities. It is the physical who yells. if you ask a physical if they are cold. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. Communication. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. whatever when upset. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional.net 22 . So. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. possibly even throws things when angry. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. is so much more than simple questions. opposites really do attract. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. First. and how natural and normal this is. An example would be. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out.

This E&P communication. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Since we tend to project our thoughts. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Words have power. self-confidence. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say.net 23 . causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Conversely. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. they can ruin lives. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. You had to be strong. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. Also. © Copyright 2003. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. We heal from physical injuries. however is just one part of communication. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It becomes a vicious circle. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done.The same thing occurs when communicating. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. you can see how this could be problematic. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. Remember though. the more the physical pushes.

is powerful beyond belief. someone will answer. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. As a matter of fact.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. find out what you can do. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. each of us. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. keep your thoughts strong. your talent. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. You know because I say it over and over again. © Copyright 2003. This is why “words” do have so much power. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. intelligence and compassion. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. But most of all.net 24 . beautiful heart and so much love to give. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Make some calls. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Also. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. by working it. throughout your life entire life. The woman who has come out of a nasty. wider and stronger each and every day. But you are wrong. Think and dream about your future. Your life depends on it After all. call out for help. but not only that. bad relationship and can keep on going. leave. this planet needs you. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. dreams and desires. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. The same holds true for what you hear. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.

words can destroy you. Once said they are out there forever. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. © Copyright 2003.Each of us. And that’s really what venting to another person is. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. scream and yell and swear all you want. wife. husband. But when you are with someone you care about. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification.net 25 . don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. our child. words can hurt you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Vent when you are alone. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones…….

Mood is affected by dozens of genes. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. No one is born with such a brain -. In addition. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. Dr.it is created. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. if we want to. if this work fulfills its potential. According to Dr. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. Jill Ammon-Wexler. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause.net 26 . an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. In fact. and just like any other habit.even into very advanced old age. DIETING. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. © Copyright 2003. suicidal feelings.D DEPRESSION. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. AND -. depression.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. thought patterns and thought habits.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. however. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. conditions and illnesses.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. but in essence they are just like any other habit. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . As research continues in this area. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. According to Dr. Miller goes on to stress. Researchers like Dr. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts.

“disappointed in my relationships”. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. What we think. I just want to be happy.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. those interconnections then expand and strengthen.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. Think about that a moment. even more importantly. What it does understand. what we say to ourselves. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. “unhappy”. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. © Copyright 2003.net 27 . are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. etc. fulfilled life. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. I don’t want to be around negative people. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. healthy muscles. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards.use it or lose it.

So.D. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. When there is negative thinking. Take responsibility for your thoughts. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. When you can take a truth and internalize it.” observes Dr. Ph. subconscious level. reflect on the contrary. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese.net 28 . As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). 2005. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear.. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. it will continue to go on. Reflect on the positive. Pay attention to what you are thinking. Woman’s World. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. including cancer. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Massachusetts. with the aid of hypnosis. is originating on a deeper. epilepsy. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. on a subconscious level. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. whether it is physical or emotional. heart disease. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. Bruce Cohen. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. 100 times more. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. Fixing one problem can often help the other. October 18. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. Parkinson’s disease. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level.

Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. When most of us think about diet and weight. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. people. and these are serious issues indeed. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). according to the New York Times. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. now again we are hearing. we just don’t want to do it.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. particularly among our young people. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. Part of one study. First we were told that fat. diet and weight. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. sometimes to death. © Copyright 2003. it seems as if all the doctors. especially our young women. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. test or theory. Confusing. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. we are really only getting part of the story. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. And throughout all of it. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. is bad for you. but in addition. Chocolate was bad for you.net 29 . a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the second diet was only three meals a day. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. and of course. then we were told maybe it isn’t. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). especially in the United States. The first diet included six small meals a day. any kind of fat. The truth is. never a comparison with all the other studies. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats.

It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. satisfaction. With the internet available to all of us. Releasing negative thoughts. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. it can include abandonment issues. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. © Copyright 2003. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. In fact. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. by taking control of our thoughts. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. weight issues are rarely just about weight. and getting the right kind of support and advice. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. a lack of fulfillment. confidence or happiness. one of the first things I tell them is. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now.net 30 . There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. Just as with any weight. As we live our lives.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. Knowledge is indeed power. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. both emotional and physical. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information.

If you don’t like it. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. what do you think about.net 31 . Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. in fact. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. i. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue.. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. I keep going back to this one phrase. take control of your thoughts and change your life. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. So wonderful. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. observe how you feel.e. though is not just about external fact.Knowledge. Look at yourself. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. fear. what do you see. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. that we keep going back to it. what does your world look like. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. © Copyright 2003. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside.com. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. though just an illusion. This is. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. You can continue the work on your own. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.

anxiety. anger. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. has no value of its own. As I’ve written before. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. general stress. including depression.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. Not a hypothetical path.net 32 . any negative experience. fear. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. EMOTIONS. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. © Copyright 2003. addictions and phobias. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. a negative experience itself. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. depression. ENERGY. posttraumatic stress disorder.

With or without hypnosis. As stated earlier. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. do not use self-hypnosis. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. understanding the negative experience is not enough.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. and more importantly. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness.net 33 . EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. war trauma or severe physical illness. In addition. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. With regard to addictions. deprivation. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. emptiness and anxiety. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. weight loss to pain and illness. Remember. © Copyright 2003. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. to addiction. EFT can help with both the cravings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you.

This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. For example. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences.net 34 . a German physician conducted with the help of 20. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. One such study by Dr. By forgiving. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hostility. accidents and increased workplace injuries. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. hurt and unforgiveness. resentment. It can even be linked to suicide. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. Ryke Geerd Hamer. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. meditation. but our physical health as well. Likewise. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. even more importantly. hurt. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003.

emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. pathogens. vaccines. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. that we are out of balance. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. but it is not.net 35 . We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. etc. white flour. whole grains. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Throughout this book you will find theories. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. seems somewhat contradictory. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. exposure to toxic substances. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. it prevents depression.specifically. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. In most cases of cancer. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. such as genetics. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. etc). doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. diet. In addition to nurturing your mind. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself.

whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. While listening to your hypnotherapist. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. or an inability to let go and just relax. © Copyright 2003. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. but balance will return. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again.net 36 . opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. imagery. your mind and body relax more and more deeply.who have the ability to relax more fully. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. stress. Hypnosis can help you. So.

How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. Their phytonutrients . Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. nuts. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods.F FABULOUS. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Fiber. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. The indigestible parts of fruits. Increase your intake of fish. soy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which as we know reduce inflammation. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. Eat the right foods. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. until the food becomes liquid. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. try counting the chews in each bite. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. FEAR. FOCUS. Chew properly.carotenoids in carrots. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. safflower and vegetable oils. Drink more water. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants.net 37 . Healthy fats. aiming for 30 to 50 times. garlic liberally. 2. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. primary by reducing the inflammation. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. turmeric. Fruits and vegetables and spices. © Copyright 2003. whole grains. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food.

but so will saunas and hot baths. 4. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. Detox is a relative term.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. 5. Eat homemade food. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. our tissues. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. Any form of exercise helps. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Our blood is what creates our cells. Detox. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle.) If under pressure at meals. Regular exercise should make you sweat. 3. Pesticides. our organs. As a matter of fact. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood).not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. our skin. take deep breaths. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss.net 38 . chew. chemicals from manufacturing. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. 6. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. our hair. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Losing weight gradually . The solution: Sweat. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. But breathing is also effective. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Breathe. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. Sweat – cleans up your system. which creates less gas. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid.

grains. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. 9. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. Yoga poses reduce stress levels.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique.net 39 . boost mood. fats. improving your healthy well-being. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. 8. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. Take the laughter yoga class. © Copyright 2003.consists of slow. refined flours. relaxes your body. and improve overall health. etc. focused. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. you sure can laugh at one. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. hydrogenated fats. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I call it facial meditation. fried foods. Laugh. meats. Tai chi -moving meditation . deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Even if you can’t tell a joke. diary products. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Have sex. 7. Have a home-made facial. our relationships. 10. our jobs. bread.it is delicious.

what we expect.naturalcounselor. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or even worse. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy.net 40 . Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. FEAR: fear of change. fear of success. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. it keeps us from making a big mistake. fear of failure.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. insomnia or lack of energy.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. mood swings. That one thing is FEAR. that one thing. one thing seems to come up most frequently. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. a short while. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. though. healthy and joyous life you want. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003.

But.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. we have chosen. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. we are afraid to dream. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Your goals must be your very own. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. and grow up. 2. If you haven’t done so already. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). Something that is important to you right now. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. People without strong desires slowly whither away. have a reasonably happy life. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. for the most part. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. afraid of disappointment. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. as we grew older. the more connected we feel. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. friends and lovers live this kind of life. in order to be an adult. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. Be honest. and life just gets better and better.net 41 . the world of adults. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. instead. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. relationships. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. write down your goals and if you did write them down. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. pretend and let our imaginations soar. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we were told to leave those dreams behind. This is wrong. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. get out your list and read it again. When you have specific. career and health because you are afraid of failing. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. We were told to grow up. the more vibrant and alive we become. © Copyright 2003. As children we were free to play. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances.

crying and so on. Remember the Power of Affirmations. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. 5. though. a powerful tool. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Focus. push yourself to ask for help now. When you say your affirmations out loud. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. breathing things. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. If you have not asked for support much in the past. if your goal is to run a marathon. Sometimes. As an example. even though we would gladly give it if asked. doing something together. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. 4. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. life coach or whomever and ask for support. laughing. Use them.net 42 . Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. it’s hard to focus. parent. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. You know. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. FOCUS Look around you. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this.3.

physical and emotional well-being. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. psychological imbalances. though. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. The subconscious processes everything. though. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. and its effects may be positive. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. confront the situation as needed. During the course of a day. affirmative statements. interpersonal and relationship problems. smell and hearing. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. It disables your emotional resources. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. that release. When we go through periods of stress. whether asleep or awake. touch. you are bombarded with millions of message units. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. Over time. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. recorded on brain and body cells. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resentment or anger. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. negative or neutral to our mental. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature.taste. © Copyright 2003. it still exists in our subconscious. sight. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. forgive and accept forgiveness. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. health. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear.net 43 . even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. our subconscious is able to do this for us. This is commonly referred to as memory. Luckily. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. success and fulfillment. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process.

the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. 6. anger. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. fear and anxiety. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. They are also © Copyright 2003.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. 5. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. Once learned. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. existing situation. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. 4. tears. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. laughter and perspiration. 3. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Even when we sleep long hours. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. 2. This not only applies to a current. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position.net 44 . The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. During the Releasing session. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process.

It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. such as anger. sadness. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed.). the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. the Releaser is asked to state. the brain is your biological computer. as a Soul. function as a computer operator. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and feeling great. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. © Copyright 2003. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. and your body and life are the printout. once learned. however. As people from all backgrounds. including health care professionals and clergy. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1.” 7.net 45 . After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. disappointment. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. have learned. “I release (relevant emotions. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. etc. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. can be done alone.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. 8. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session.

Not only in your own relationships. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. We find ourselves drifting along. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. not only does life get depressing. something that is crucial to goal setting. Conversely. This same principle works the same way for emotions. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. Sometimes. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. Think of it as a game.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. if you think about a color. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. your current life situation. a diversion to keep life interesting. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. I don’t know about you. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. though.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. You choose what you want in your life. Without goals. take the color blue for example. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. “I don’t know what I want. Each of us is already whole. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. A state of being is not an emotion. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. A really simple way to test this theory is this. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals.net 46 . If you think about anger. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. an activity or a thing. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. fun. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After you’ve done this. thoughts and ideas. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. whether it is an emotion. not really happy. meaningful and exciting.

ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. © Copyright 2003. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. sometime weekly. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. not if you want to improve your life. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. keeps us feeling alive. But you can’t manifest everything you want. doesn’t mean I can have him. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. simple Measurable.net 47 . • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. Adjustments are a good thing. change is the whole point. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. responsible. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. they will never be overwhelming. If you do this regularly. Don’t forget about free will. it just means you make an adjustment. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. it would be a boring and scary world. He’s got free will just as we all do. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily.

your goals are clear and you believe that it will.net 48 . dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. So.Remember. set those goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.

turning some functions on and others off.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. Working from the inside out. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness.net 49 . The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing.H HEALING. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. visualization and positive suggestions. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level.. and help strengthen the immune system. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. by using specific. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). lower blood pressure. speed up healing after surgery. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. © Copyright 2003. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. imagery. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. releasing negative thoughts. As David Spiegel.D. It can help relieve pain. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Ph. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. In a pilot study published in 1999. relieve depression and so much more. aid with gastrointestinal ailments.

compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. that’s because it is. soothing kind of treatment. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain.net 50 . empathic care provider and hypnosis. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. The suggestions. though. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. anxiety and the need for painkillers. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. During the operation. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. Arreed Barabasz. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . in terms of levels of pain. and the third received standard care. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. Every 15 minutes. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.

The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga.” says Spiegel.” Using imaging technology. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. psychologists say. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. then the real fun can start. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. experienced less pain. Once again. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. which could account for heightened attention.net 51 . “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. involving more than 330 patients. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. the brain’s manager and planner. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. And this list goes on and on. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. In effect. “It’s not just a fantasy.” says Marc Schoen. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A journey that you can now control. On average. While in the trance. you actually see it. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Spiegel and Lang found. If you think you are seeing color. realizing all the possibilities available to you. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. the hypnotized patients used less medication. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention.

stress. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. Try it once and feel the results. As we each move through life. we each have to deal with something. tension and minor frustrations. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. hurt. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. resentment. fear. hurt. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. unpleasant. My purpose is to help them remember. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. With a bit of practice. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. you can do this exercise while awake. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. When I say fuel. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives.jealously. All life starts as a spark. though. Some little problem or some big problem. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. rude or just plain nasty people. this spark can grow a little dim. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. Sometimes. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. We have to cope with irritating. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. Problems that we encounter every single day. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. © Copyright 2003. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals.net 52 . Each incident throughout the day affects us. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think.

but the results will amaze and delight you.net 53 . He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind.” Using hypnosis. not only will you feel better immediately. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. a professor of psychology at Harvard. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. every message unit. As a result. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. comfort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Try hypnosis. The more visual and real you make your goal. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. Some pleasant. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. If there is anything in your world. © Copyright 2003. euphoria and control of your life again. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. and much better about yourself. however. you create a vivid. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. anything at all about yourself. relaxed. more positive thoughts. you will feel refreshed. feel or react. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. According to Stephen Kosslyn. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. clarity.

recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. good or bad. The brain is simply another organ in your body. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. depressed © Copyright 2003.is determined by the thoughts you think. failure or success. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. Conversely. once wrote. www. boost your mood.” Cheryl O’Neil. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. As stated in Woman’s World. However.cheryloneil. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. feel more loved.net 54 . build self-confidence. Simply put.. who I especially admire.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. and change your life . can often help the other. Your ability to overcome obstacles. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. September 26. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. fixing a problem in one place. create passionate relationships.I IMAGERY. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. heal your body. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. More and more doctors as well as patients. fear or confidence.” What we think. etc. What we experience as feelings. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. 2006. etc. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. Never. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. what we say to ourselves. mend your ways.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

55

INTUITION
Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

56

someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

57

allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.com © Copyright 2003. Motivation.net 58 . We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Reiki. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach.com. Abundance. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. use a deck of cards. You know that saying. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item.qualifiedlifecoach. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Private & Group Coaching. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Law of Attraction.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Another way I practice is with elevators. The fourth part is training your mind.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. 98% of the time I am right. You rise above thinking in mediation. Self Esteem. “What we think about we bring about. Meditation. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Go with your first impression you get from each card.

Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. you may go into a rage. If you can cool down. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. You are angry. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. That’s the truth of love. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. You feel violated. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. envy. Often. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. You want to stop what you are feeling. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. You want revenge. no matter what that entails. delusions. and if so. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. enjoy their life. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us.net 59 . succeed. and grow. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. It is essential to communicate clearly. projections. in control of yourself and your partner.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. You want to see them become more of who they are. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment.

the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. the jealousy resides within you. Jealousy is like an onion. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you move inward and look at yourself. not within the relationship. © Copyright 2003. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. If your relationship is based on Attachment.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. It does not. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you cannot make a person love you. You can give yourself the gift. If you can do this. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution.net 60 . you cannot.

you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. It is their own. Going down to an even deeper layer. the truth behind what you are feeling. Another layer is projection. Look at your beliefs. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. We think that we should be able to rise above it. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. you can reach self-awareness. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. really look and analyze them. The truth is that for most of us. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. This is natural and normal. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. guilt or anger. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. Projection. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. These all grow out of expectation. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Another layer can be guilt. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. This insight. This is projecting.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. we find envy. there is nothing to feel guilty about. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. envy. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Look at the reality. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. You do not own it. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy.net 61 .

If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear.net 62 . With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. you become yourself possessed. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. Hypnosis can help. our childhood. the resentment and the hurt. If you love someone. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. When you attempt to possess another person. they still don’t meet your expectations. If you find yourself doing this. You can choose to move away from those feelings. You become vulnerable. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. fear of being alone. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. frequently they are not real. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. Open your heart and mind to it. By looking deep within. Surrender to it. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. You do not need to experience jealously. fear of not being worthy of love. look deep within yourself at these feelings. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. Fear of loss. © Copyright 2003. let that guide you. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. If you are experiencing jealously. and let that be who you are. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. Perhaps you fear abandonment. but attachment. then what you are experiencing is not love. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. When you love. Once you release the anger. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. They come from our past. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. you can watch that love radiate out for all.

The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not.K KARMA. Most people © Copyright 2003. Just a thought. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. There is no judgment involved. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. or alternatively. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Jain. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). In religions that incorporate reincarnation. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or.net 63 . Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. but generally the concept is basically the same. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. if you prefer. present and future and because of this. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. all of which determine our future.

If you are not satisfied with your life. saint or seer. In the Shang dynasty in China. In the belief systems of many cultures. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Step in. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny.net 64 . There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. which is a huge component of the human psyche. participate and change the direction you are heading. As stated above. prophet. but fate makes no allowance for free will. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. fate and destiny are not the same. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. © Copyright 2003. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be.associate Destiny with fate. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate implies no choice.

000. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. LOVE. The old saying. What ever it is. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. that can help you with exactly that. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net 65 . if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. © Copyright 2003.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator.” It’s about where you put your focus. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. “Let the chips fall where they may”. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. For example. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. “What you think about will happen in your life. start by writing it down. LIFE. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. is a good analogy. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. The concept of the law of attraction is.00 a year income.

When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. You have made it clear. Now the key here is to follow up with this. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. There is something there to be learned or gained. talk to those people. don’t panic. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. allowing it to happen is vital.net 66 . If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. you then attracted it. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. You asked for what you wanted. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. I promise you it will show up. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. pay attention. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. etc. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. now grab it. Now that you have set this up. pay attention to what happens next.

and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. Not only that. a very wise woman. You never. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. It is never wasted and it is never lost. Go to my web site for more information. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth.qualifiedlifecoach. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. www.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” And I realized as she told me this. life is messy. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you.in a different package.com. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. The sooner we realize and accept that. who has no idea that she is. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. Group Coaching. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation.net 67 . you used them to learn about yourself. tele-classes and resources are offered. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. she said “You didn’t waste those years. So live your life. maybe © Copyright 2003. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. She told him something I want to share with all of you. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. originally thought of. that is the Universe telling you go…. Individual Coaching.

dating. you are perfect. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. [Obs.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. sex. married or alone. A noun. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. t. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. The message really is that you need to be in love with you.net 68 . Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. living this life to experience love. I was reminded recently. © Copyright 2003. First. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. all kinds of love. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. healing. romance. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. compassion and faith. Definition: To pity. I know. com·pas·sion. trust . I can see you all now rolling your eyes. but yes. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. often including a desire to help. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. I’m not sure why exactly. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. v.” When we talk about compassion. some which I like and others not so much. then. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). partnered. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first.] Shak. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. never have.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). then someone else. © Copyright 2003. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. then maybe.K. Instead of listening to that old record. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. that negative voice in your head.Another thing that is so important to remember. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. someone around you. those we live with. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. can start to love themselves as well. with all their faults. Luck is a real. as well. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. Give yourself a break. lazy or self-indulgent. one that you can get behind. work with or just come into contact with. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. My only question to your would be this. and. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. in the process. nobody can make it for you.net 69 . your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. measurable phenomenon. heal others and yourself. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book.

e. 2007 article. with all these statistics facing us. And yet. but the underlying causes vary. the depression and the cause of that depression. and so do the ideal treatments. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. “Depression may look like a single disease. (Harvard Medical School). the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another.net 70 . It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become.D. In addition.. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. February 26.M MALE DEPRESSION. sex. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. As Dr. Depression can manifest in many different forms. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. During the past 50 years.” Michael Craig Miller. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. certainly not for a real man. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. M. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. This can make treatment especially difficult. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. In the past. or even make the depression worse.

When you release the hurt. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. Ph. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. the healing process. without wanting or meaning to. fear. October 18. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. When this occurs. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. resentment. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. Sometimes. During the course of this journey and these detours. When you recognize that this is occurring. There are detours that we must take. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. This is not easy. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. Woman’s World. smooth and without bumps or potholes. Using © Copyright 2003. love and happiness beyond measure. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. using only your conscious mind can be a slow.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. Hallowell. you take back control of your own life.net 71 . releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. 2005. With the aid of hypnotherapy. fear or anger that you are experiencing. As Dr. helping you regain strong mental-health. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Edward M. Working from the inside out. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. without help. hurt. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. bitterness. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. guilt and depression.. difficult and painful process. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships.D. As I quote above. however.

Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. In addition. alcoholism. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.000 brain scans. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. hostility. drug abuse and depression. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. hurt. With the help of 20. This has been proven by Dr. a German physician. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. including diet. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. eating disorders. © Copyright 2003. resentment. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Holding onto anger. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. pathogens. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Ryke Geerd Hamer. Dr. but our physical body as well.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book.net 72 . meditation. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. can lead to serious food addictions.

and this applies to any negative emotion. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. but to your thoughts as well.exposure to toxic substances. This is a way of thinking. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. vaccines. keeping track of what is working and what is not. I have been there and there is a way out. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal.D. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). whole grains. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. guide them in a positive direction. Ph. use it and use it frequently. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. Believe me. It requires that you develop a success mind. In addition to nurturing your mind. thought or image. white flour.net 73 . It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. Success is largely an inner game. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. etc. etc). Success is a process of continually learning new information. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. anger is what you will bring into your life. yoga can help. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. if you focus on anger. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. and © Copyright 2003. Meditation works.

and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do.net 74 . You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. conditioning. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. Take action. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. you simply need to start. generate new ideas. possibility is in the dreaming. if you talk to any star athlete. hardship. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. You will have to change to be successful. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. inventor.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. This is one of the laws of success. or successful businessperson. fear of hard work. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. and keep moving forward. fear of what other people will think. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. fear that we are not good enough. fear of failure. Take time to dream. make adjustments along the way. Yet. Gather new information. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. While success requires action. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. and create new realities. and failure. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. Develop a process to examine your fears. but also change the world. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fear of change. The success mind trains itself to ask. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. see unlimited possibilities. © Copyright 2003. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). foster creativity. the less we fear them. exploring one more option or opportunity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. learn from your mistakes.

Your thoughts. you likely will feel fear. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. think. your actions. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. Question. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. adventure. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. The time to begin is now. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. It is never too late to develop your success mind.net 75 . but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. you will create even more opportunities for growth. your world and your success. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. You continue to grow. try on new perspectives. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. form opinions. create. and grow. But once you say no to an opportunity. experience. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. When you say yes. challenge. your feelings. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Mental toughness. As you do this. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. Remember. Not simply because you say yes. and success.

Ph. engage again and refuse to quit.D. lawyer. and smart action. Dream big and take consistent. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. Stop caring what other people think.success and rewards your effort. is President of Best Life Design. happier.molliemarti.net 76 .. Mollie Marti. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.com or www. make corrections. performance coach. Visit her at www. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. © Copyright 2003.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. directed.D. redirect the effort. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. J.. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.bestlifedesign. better. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. and healthier lives. mediator. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. Inc.

and interpersonal influence. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Robert Dilts.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. management training. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. however. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. sales. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. However. sports. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. Unfortunately.net 77 . NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. There is. John Grinder. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. linguistics and computer science. © Copyright 2003. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy).

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

78

you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

79

P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

80

Also. occurrence. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. © Copyright 2003. activity. Use it for minor headaches. use Yellow) money. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. You have the power to change your perception. health healing. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. growth.net 81 .medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. remember that red not only represents life force. Whether it makes us happy or sad. fire. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. red would probably not be the best color to use. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. think we are making progress or stagnating. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain.

Perception is a powerful thing. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. though. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. By the time your therapist is done. Basically. Sometimes. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. Take control. You are then taken back to the phobia again. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Relief is truly immediate. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. you know how debilitating it can be to your life.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. © Copyright 2003. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. there will be no emotional response. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. control it and use it wisely. It can be done in person and over the phone. If you are suffering from a phobia. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. it can make your life almost unbearable. Depending on the phobia. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. But the results tend to be permanent. this is how it works. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. but it is not a gift at all. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. this power. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Once you have faced your phobia. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy.net 82 . Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever.

joyful and full life filled with love. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Fear of change. you will enjoy them immensely. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of failure. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want.net 83 . happiness. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. however. and not just money or things. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. Frequently they are a result of fear.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. even fear of success. In order to accomplish this. © Copyright 2003. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. Marti. thinking and dreaming. prosperity includes a rich. fulfillment and yes. it may be necessary to make some changes. money as well.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. and not just a lack of money or things. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. Mollie W. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. fun. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. both written by Dr.

Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. because what was a mechanical. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. smell. utterly real. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). instead. as I started to research this a bit. and tangible. they are all phenomena within the mind. solid. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. hear. touch it. the Copenhagen Interpretation. around us. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. in addition. Time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. Quantum Gravity.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. It appears undeniably to be out there.net 84 . We can see it. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. taste. Supersymmetry. They exist within consciousness. separate from us. © Copyright 2003. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Unified Field Theory. Theory of Everything. Grand Unified Theory. space. touch. independent and apart from us. standing as a physical world. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. not the other way around. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. String Theory. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. Superstring Theory. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. however. and hear it. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. M-Theory. Loop Quantum Gravity. However real and external these images may seem. EPR Paradox. Schroedinger’s Cat. in about three or four paragraphs! So. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. In the dream it all seems very real. external universe.

Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. huh? So. and there’s only one real way to do that. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create.net 85 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious.So. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Cool. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.

why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. cries or screams when upset. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in.R RELATIONSHIPS. RELEASING. read on. possibly even throws things when angry. © Copyright 2003. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. congratulations. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. In addition. First. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. if you are not. However. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. These two distinct types. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. Unfortunately. It is the physical who yells.net 86 . I am talking about just how we each relate to others. how they can come apart. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. our behavior patterns. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this.

She on the other hand. But let’s look into the future several months. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. Their first priority is their career. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. When I say E&P attraction. Next would be their children. With the physical female. And boy do they do relate. And that’s a good thing. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. So he starts spending more time at work. To her partner it is his career. his career. he cannot understand why. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. is quite a bit different. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. I really do mean attraction. Let’s cover very briefly. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. The emotional. When they first meet. This is natural. on the other hand. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. outgoing. secure and © Copyright 2003. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. the relationship is of primary importance to her. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. what the priorities of each are. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. She is happy. After all. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. In relationships. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. longer hours at the office. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. When his partner complains that they never see each other. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone.net 87 . For the physical. then hobbies. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority.

RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. Remember. © Copyright 2003. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. When you understand how the other thinks. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. communication is key to any successful relationship. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. With communication you can understand each other. to get clear on your goals for the future. Plenty. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. This is done through imagery and suggestion. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. Sometimes. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. fear and guilt. The process is quick.net 88 . sadness. Interestingly enough. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Release anger. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. What can be done about this. releasing occurs naturally. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we are healthy and balanced.

That may been all you need at this time. hurt. use your downloadable sessions first. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. Negative expectations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. anger. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. process and recall information.net 89 . They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. If your subconscious is ready. unpredictability and lack of control. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. Both techniques are effective. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. physical. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. body and emotions. fears. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Ph. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. positive thoughts. doubts.D. and emotional states.

As you add them to your day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. build in ways to recoup your energy. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. boring day. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Rest is any activity. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. As you spend energy during the day. to your computer. each and every day. It’s going to be a gloomy. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. You spend mental.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals.net 90 . So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. You wake up and your first thought might be. You give energy away to other people. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. “It’s gray and cloudy. in and of © Copyright 2003. make a choice to expect positive results. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. Think and say. Rather. For example.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. you are ready for it. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. reading a book. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. Many rituals are quite simple. taking in a deep breathe. and in countless other interactions. over the telephone.

you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. rhythmic breathing. and discarding the emotion. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. and anxiety. guilt. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head.net 91 . it gives you an amazing competitive edge. after working at your computer for an hour. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. linking it with a unique physical action. anger. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. When you carry negative emotions like fear. frustration. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity.itself. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. For example. Influence Management: Before any performance. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. You’ve © Copyright 2003. fatigue. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. After a 90-minute presentation. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. nervousness. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. you are less able to concentrate on your task. which is pleasurable and restorative. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand.

it also had drifted off. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . For example. prior to a presentation or meeting. This leads to a less than stellar performance. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. you might choose a banner. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. or a clock on the wall. If you are in your office or in a conference room. “OK. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. can be viewed as a distraction. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. .net 92 . Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. As I cross the line. She chose a cloud as her focal point. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. Before you perform. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. works well. even if it is a good thing. consciously look at your focal point. back to my task. Any time you get distracted. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. A tangible engagement cue. . body and emotions that it is time to perform. As you travel or perform in different locations.simply applied a band-aid. I “turn on” my full engagement. I image a red line on the floor. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. Yet. It immediately precedes the performance and says. try to use the same type of focal point. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. If you travel. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. a piece of art. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. such as a doorframe. but when it came time to start. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment.

Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. As part of this process. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep.. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life.com or www.D.net 93 . This means that if you get away from your rituals. including caffeine and adrenaline. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. If you cannot identify your rituals. better.D. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. lawyer. they will provide great consistency. Ph. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. and healthier lives. Inc.molliemarti. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. concentration. and success. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance.bestlifedesign. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. it won’t feel right. Mollie Marti. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. © Copyright 2003. J. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. alcohol. It will throw you off.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. mediator. is President of Best Life Design. successful entrepreneur. Visit her at www. A close companion is the use of stimulants. happier. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. performance coach.

S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

SELF-TALK
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

94

Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

STRESS
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

95

Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.net

96

Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. sesame seeds. exhaustion. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. fear. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. cabbage. irritability. bananas. worry. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. © Copyright 2003. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. etc. salmon. depression.to be one of the first things that goes. causing irritability and nervousness. impatience. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Vitamin B12. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. broccoli. You need eat more avocados. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. mustard greens. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. kelp. Vitamin B6. brown rice.net 97 . seafood. leafy vegetables. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. oats. such as hormonal imbalances. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. prunes. asparagus. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. irritability. garlic. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. apricots. kale. Calcium. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Unfortunately. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. blood sugar fluctuations. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. depression. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. moodiness and nervousness. Almonds. chronic fatigue. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. apples. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. fish.

legumes. In addition. barley. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. carrots and turnips). Call a friend. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. tuna and whole grains.Folic acid. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. root vegetables (such as potatoes. though. nobody will. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. dates. a founder of NaturalCounselor. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. our family? So let us be stress smart. lentils. salmon. Squeeze a squishy ball. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. Start squeezing something. Sing. brown rice. you must relax.naturalcounselor. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. such as a squishy ball. green leafy vegetables. who will take care of our children. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Walk. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration.com © Copyright 2003. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. mushrooms. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. I know mine always have been). mood swings. but if something happens to us. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. insomnia or lack of energy. oranges. Bottom line though. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. oatmeal. to work away your tension.net 98 . As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. Kiss. our cortisol levels drop. Foods rich in folate are asparagus.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas.

net 99 . then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. but to the energy of the present moment. because you cannot stand still. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. If you wake up today affirming an illness. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. According to the laws of physics. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. I know I have. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. For example. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I used to feel that way often. if you are having a problem with money. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. If you wake up today focusing on debt.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. a feeling. Energy is constantly in motion. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. If you understand that. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up.

net 100 .” So. it doesn’t matter why it works.” Ginandes says. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck.D. Hypnosis. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. the truth is. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. Ph. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. for example. In a follow-up experiment published last year. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. can influence the body to heal itself. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. And. It is only important that it does.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong.. Pain sufferers. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. our results suggest. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. During the sessions. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. In a pilot study published in 1999. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. really. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better.D. smooth. You need to make room for change. and elastic. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. for most people. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. You don’t have to create change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. © Copyright 2003. meanwhile. Ph.

You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. Remember. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. If it’s behind you. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. look down on the Time Line.net 101 . The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. your love and your joy.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. Remember. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. Take responsibility for your life and direction. for you happiness and your abundance. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Take your time with this. to the left or to the right. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. When you have determined the directions of past and future. it is what feels best for you. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. There is no correct answers. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.

The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. bad things just happen. © Copyright 2003. It might not have looked that way to others. Without getting specific about each of them. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. It can look that way to others. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. You need them to tell you to be strong.net 102 . you stuck by the wrong person. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. even if they cannot give it back. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. Sometimes what you need. I’d like you to consider another alternative. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. you made a mistake. You procrastinated. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame.

Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. Spirituality. Picture yourself at age 80. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 90. whatever feels right. you need to define what it is you want. another may practice Hinduism. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. © Copyright 2003. etc. while another may be a Wiccan. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. For example. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. First. 85. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life.net 103 . VICTIMHOOD.

Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. is you. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. but not only that. mugged or even raped. church and society. Remember. Figure it out early. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. © Copyright 2003. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. What areas cause you regret. You might get angry. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. Something very unpleasant. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. or even the perceptions of our family. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. Perhaps you are abused.Now think back over your life. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy.net 104 . What value areas of your life are you happy with. are you really meant to be together. you will certainly feel violated. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. friends. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. However. If it is what you believe. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. What you might think is wrong. Think about all the value areas of your life. then your perception makes it right. then you’ve got a problem. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you.

There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. for what you do and what you say. my friends don’t understand me. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. Here in the U.” But. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc.S. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. my mother didn’t understand me. and society actually encourages this thought. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. my wife doesn’t understand me.I want you to consider something. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. my mother didn’t give me enough love. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. Life. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003... But just take a moment now and really think about it. etc. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. however. And. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. my husband ignores me. happiness and joy available to each of us. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. my kids don’t show me any respect. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. etc. A rather sad. it means you are not responsible for anything. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. It wasn’t fun.net 105 . 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. But now.

it is the ability to enjoy life. bad relationship and can keep on going. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. build self-confidence. feel more loved. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. For example. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. If that is taken away from us . If we take back control. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. beautiful heart and so much love to give. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. is powerful beyond belief. As stated in Woman’s World. can often help the other. Remember. 2006. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact.net 106 . Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. never © Copyright 2003. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. September 26. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. please. eventually. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety.. we lose everything. etc.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. etc. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. Simply.who you are. The woman who has come out of a nasty. each of us. boost your mood. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. You had to be strong. Fixing a problem in one place though.

your imagination. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. © Copyright 2003. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. yes imagery and visualization can change your life.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. So. can change how your feel. Is essence. If you are feeling down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the power of your mind. increase your self-confidence. depressed or negative. relieve pain.net 107 .

. it’s good again. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. alcohol. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. The truth is. 5. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. First one.e. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. If. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 4. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. before facts have actually been verified. Confusing. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. however. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. the only diet that had ever worked for them. etc. diet and weight. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i.) 3. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. scientists. included six small meals a day. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. refined. Not only that.net 108 . I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. bleached flour.W WEIGHT. WORDS. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon.

19. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.6. 18. Do you associate a person. Has your mother. 9. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Do you eat breakfast? 15. Out of all the food you eat in a day. © Copyright 2003. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. Do you have cravings for salt? 13.net 109 . place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 20. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 7. 17. 10. 8.

You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. they include abandonment issues. self-confidence. Abuse victims. satisfaction. You had to be strong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. you know that as strange as it may sound. We heal from physical injuries. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. WRONG! Words have power. You know © Copyright 2003. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. More often than not. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images.Now. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. by working it. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”.net 110 . a lack of fulfillment. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. confidence and happiness. survivors. having said all that. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe.

most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Vent when you are alone. I have to say this. Make some calls. but not only that. And that’s what venting to another is. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. When this occurs. your talent. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Once said they are out there forever. wider and stronger each and every day. someone will answer. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. wife.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. scream and yell and swear all you want. keep your thoughts strong. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. The same holds true for what you hear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As a matter of fact. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control.because I say it over and over again. husband.net 111 . dreams and desires. Your life depends on it After all. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. But most of all. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. And for each of us. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. call out for help. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. Think and dream about your future. This is why “words” do have so much power. words can hurt you. throughout your life entire life. lover. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. find out what you can do. But you are wrong. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. But when you are with someone you care about. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. intelligence and compassion. Also. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. this planet needs you. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes.

or. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. especially in interpersonal situations.net 112 . you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. However. Releasing sessions can work well with these. If you can do this. when things are going smoothly. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. If you do not feel ready for that. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. much like arthritis in wet weather. can help. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt.withdraw into ourselves. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.

drinker. you have a decision to make. What do you look like. Wait 10-20 seconds. clear skin. And now let those images fade completely away. healthy. vital. vibrant. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. BINGER ETC. You have the opportunity to see a different future. what is different and better. DRINKER. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. very clearly. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Of these two possible futures in your life. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. energy. Before you make that decision. Make a promise to yourself.net 113 . It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. the decision becomes easy. Once you decide that you want to quit. Notice how you feel. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. When you have done this. drinking. Make a commitment and a decision. Notice what you see. You can choose to live your life. are you now sure which one you want. binger or whatever. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Whatever it is. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. clear and easy breathing. Wait 10-20 seconds. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. the body you want. your energy will flow in that direction. doesn’t it?. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health.X X SMOKER. strong.

For instance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. your entire belief system. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. Compare it to strength training. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. © Copyright 2003. a better job. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. your life script. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. you always have a choice. joy. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting.com.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.net 114 . you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. success. you can only lift a small amount of weight. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. you may never receive it. When you first begin to work your muscles. So. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. it does not mean you will receive it. In making a choice. happiness. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. Everything in life is a choice.

hollygleason. check it regularly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. © Copyright 2003.According to Holly. looking around. check it out at www. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle.net 115 . The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down.com To me.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it means a diligent enthusiasm. please do it with zeal and without apathy. An antonym is apathy. fight for your dreams and your goals. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. or ideal. or ideal and the determination to further that person.net 116 . And always remember this. cause. intensity and passion. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. cause. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been.

© Copyright 2003. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. While you are doing these three karate chops. There are 15 points.” “gamut spot. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.” and the “sore spot. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. You can also visualize this word in your mind. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. To make this even more effective. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out.net 117 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand.

Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. This is not a sentence. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. You can go through the tapping process several times. 9. 11.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. but do each issue separately. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. fear. 12. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. or AFRAID. you can use just one or two words. 6.” © Copyright 2003. 10. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 2.net 118 . anxiety. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 3. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 7. or anything you want changed. 8. 5. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 4. or DEPRESSED. Do what feels right for you.

you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. feelings. hurt. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. uncross your arms and legs. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. you open all pathways to love. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. ideas and beliefs within yourself. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. you also release all negative thoughts. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. By burning away all anger and negativity. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. And as your heart fire increases. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. As you do this. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. And as your heart fire increases. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. your connection with yourself is complete. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself.net 119 .” And that’s all there is to it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. resentment or negativity away. emotions. I love myself. © Copyright 2003.

letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. anyplace.e. like salt. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. See it. hear it (i. months or even years to be released. days. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. If you feel like it and have the time.. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. Then when you are ready. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. allow that color to flow in and out as well. heal yourself and relax yourself. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. see the image). Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. taking this time right now for myself. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. smell the salt. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is.net 120 . at the beach. Then imagine or visualize white granules. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hours. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. smell it. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. hear the waves and the birds. weeks. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. Take yourself fully into this place. cleansing breath in and let it out. If another color comes to mind.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major.

The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. activity. thoughts and feelings. happy and having fun together. © Copyright 2003. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. emotions. You are in control and in charge of your body. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. yourself. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. relationship.net 121 . or whatever it is your desire.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Let go of all tightness within you. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. my guy and I are in love. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Here’s my snapshot.

live in the moment and dream in the future. I choose to forget past mistakes now. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. © Copyright 2003. I say to myself RANCH. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I keep saying ranch until that image. I vibrate with positive energy. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now.net 122 . positive delightful reality. With my thoughts I create my new. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body.

..... 121.. 77.... 109.........2..5. 114... 26...1. 65... 104. 96..24.. 103.... 10....... 66... 92............... 116. 114. 26.... 81. 71. 101. 104. 30.. 31............... 43.. 12 Elvira Lang ....... 21... 104. 35....9. 38.... 37............. 22.. 61........... 127.....2......... 35.. 22...... 113........ 6.... 129 food addictions. 101.. 21...... 35..... 130 epilepsy ...D....... 94.. 78 chronic pain ... 27...... 45......... 54... 122...... 73 depression ... 21 David Spiegel. 84... 78. 6..... 5...... 3 addiction .. 55. 88.... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.... 99... 21. 93... 46...... 55 Dawn Abraham .. 90..... 42...... 47.....net i . 79 dream 1..... 89... 112 compassion ...... 7 attraction ....5. 81....... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ........ 95...Index 12-step programs . 47..1........... 95... 81.... 96.. 3... 105.... 129........... 42... 97.. 114....86 addict .... 84. 102.... 102... 72.... 6....7...... 36. 10 binging ... 34......... 129 alcoholism.. 19........ 43... 78 cortisol . 22. 44. 45...... 52.. 90..... 55 emotional freedom technique .... 38..... 109..86 Circle Therapy .......... ..... 30..... 53.. 110...38............. 50............ 126 adrenalin .. 2. 7.. 75...5. 32.. 58.. 29...... 94.. 47... 23. 106.... 9. 36........ 44.. 1... 129 diet .. 105 darkest hour .. 80.. 14..30...... 94 baggage..........121 blood sugar .. 98.88 clarity 9.. 24 eating disorders. 94.. 42. 36....... 12.. 130 apprehension... 60...... 6.. 78 E&P attraction .....24. 8... 79 cancer.. 57...... 5. 3 Alzheimer’s .... 89.. 91.21 Arreed Barabasz .. . 106...... 128.. 86. 23... 119 confidence.. 104.... 115............ 131 dreams 22.. 37..... 70... 77.. 24. 24..... 32.......................... 37................. 117.. 52....2..... 37..... 67......... 94... 95 © Copyright 2003. 126... 43.. 127.107 abuse 5.. 52....... 125 energy .......................54 association ... Ph. 21. 78 affirmations. 7...58 choice2...... 6.. 44.. 32...... 80. 48. 20. 20. 38... 41.... 19..... 10... 35............. 74.. 37.. 76...... 96... 36..................... 77.7... 97.......... 36. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ... Ph.. 64...... 123.... 76... 74.. 32.. 112...... 60... 98.....D........ 76.. 63.. 83.. 32........ 89 balance ....... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 106... 121 drug abuse. 21....... 5.... 44.3. 78 alternative programs .. 125... 32............... 23.... 124 drinking.. 81..... 78................ 45... 44..2. 118 acute pain.... 25......... 5....... 2.... 71. 110 communication ... 4..5...... 128 anxiety 7. 44........... 78. 87. 21..... 6. 58... 71....... 76 desire...... 78 forgiveness...... 88................. 50. 37.......... 27. 6..... 4. 33... 97....8 Adrian Calabrese. 122 chronic anger . 71.... 63... 18... 59.... 126... 8.. 26.... 56... 39...... 79............ 16. 103...... 41.... 28........ 46.. 73... 39...... 7.. 46... 74. 33. 72.. 79. 38. 127. 30 Eric Butterworth . 97...... 38........ 36... 116 Bereavement ..... 35.... 89. 6... 4.... 27. 63. 25. 118 consciousness 8..... 94... 28.. 58.. 78.. 79...... 114....... 78...... 76. 52.. 47... 55...... 97...... 91... 53.... 90 coronary disease.125 anger ...... 50. 37......... 6. 119.... 27...... 97...... 7.... 45.... 62............ 21......... 102..... 104........ 94. 43........ 57........53.................... 46... 81... 78....... 31. 31........ 121.. 60. 5. 79 Carol Ginandes.. 56.....30 anchor .... 103..... 63..... 89 fear 1...... 48. 95. 130 focus. 114.......... 22.. 35... 116 disease. 35. 113 Abraham Hicks ...... 60............ 94.. 3.. 119. 15.. 70. 78 EFT .... 60.... 35... 54... 21.... 44... 5......

... 10. 121 relationships24.... 5..... 32 phobia ... 36..... 32... 15... 46..28 John Grinder ......36 joy .12 habit .. 39...... 36.. 47. 29... 63.... 37. 21.... 37..... 10... 50............... 22. 127... 37.8 hypnosis .............. 99.. 71 life force. 43.. 38... 47.... 118. 81...... 13.......... 59...... 56..... 117.... 107 healing .... 14.2.... 33... 32.83 John Kappas...10... 64... 25. 8...... 78.... 43. 116 happiness .... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ..... 5. 32..... 30...... 9.76 Hridaya Yoga........... 105 Jane C.... 57...................... 22.. 109.... 88.... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003............5... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 86 habits...... 6... 21............. 10........... 63.. 56....... 89.... 122 Ida Kendall ......... 99. 43.... 77.................... 79...5..... 47.... 57. 85. 94............. 42. 89 phobias.. 89.... 67. 103........... 54......... 119......3.... 43......9...............8.. 83.. 37............ 30.. 57... 115........ 5........... 22... 92. 59...7.... 118 Gary Craig . 109...........54 Irina Wardas ...... 27. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis....... 60. 127....... 79.... 127 hypersuggestible ......... 78....................... 4...... 84 panic attacks. 93 message units ....... 56 hurt..... 79.. 107..11.... 86....... 30. 103... 118. 56. 10............. 78 NLP... 47. 77..... 37 powerless ... 120...... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ......... 95.7....... 1... 102.. 79...... 58... 78. 54..9. Woods ..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.. 6 Pat Dennis... 38.. 93.10....... 88....... 27...... 87.... 83 Roger Callahan .. 78.......... 45...................... 57.. 118 self-talk . 128... 110.. 6.. 77...... 105.................... 43......... 32...fulfillment ...... 35..... 109.... 89.......... 35............... 53.. 78.............83 Law of Attraction. 115..... 125 men .............. 31........ 39.... 44............ 6......... 77.. 57 neural interconnections ..... 64....... 77.... 77.. 22...37........... 58. 129 grief..... 78.. 109.......... 10. 87 lose weight 4.... 42............ 58...... 77.... 58........ 110............... 47.. 67.. 53. 121 snapshot . 69.35 goal . 42.. 77. 122... 83 nitric oxide . 110... 28...... 101 self-image ........ 78......... 84.......1. 36 Guilt . 46..... 53... 76. 78.... 114....... 21..... 123.........10..... 7... 115 smoking..32 illness 36. 56........... 49........ 101.... 95.. 37.. 55..... 53.. 112..............32 hypnotherapy ................................... 7. 54.. 23.... 86................... 17 Janet Luhrs... 37.... 129 heart disease......... 125 immune suppression . 58. 87.......... 79. 39.... 21. 111..... 117 medicine.. 53...24........... 113. 58.. 78.. 129 resentment... 29.. 107. 44..... 38......... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 59. 101. 2. 37..... 119...... 113. 65..... 77. 79.. 28..... 16..... 29 neuro pathways .... 22.... 19.......... 128 Richard Bandler . 56.... 108 Parkinson’s disease.. 34.......... 40....... 67.... 54.. 6... 114 imagery ................ 26....... 94 mood swings .............. 125...84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ..... 53..... 94.. 58... 83 Robert Dilts.. 50..net ii ...... 30........... 6. 130 Judith DeLozier .. 107..... 58. 87... 66..........30 high blood pressure...... 9. 75... 13................. 51....... 120 relaxation .. 57.. 77...... 26....... 37. 118... 60.................. 30 passive-aggressive .. 86.. 7... 3.. 76...... 119 neuro-linguistic programming . 15....... 122 Harvard . 74.... 8........ 47.. 54.... 57........... 113 prosperity ...... 35... 79.......... 6.... 52... 76... 83 overload .. 59.. 43...40.... 65........ 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .......... 116. 37 self-esteem ...... 34..... 59........ 5...... 120.... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice.....

..... 6............ 30.... 112.... 78....... 26...... 115... 113. 65....... 77......... 77.. 37......107 trigger..... 75..... 48............. 34.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att............. 56.. 7.... 114 weight .. 94..... 85.28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis . 78 subconscious. 21.......6......... 38....... 95........57 stress hormones ........ 77... 122...................Stephen Gilligan ......................... 44...... 111 victimhood ............ 5.............. 120 suicide........... 125.. 85......... 124 © Copyright 2003. 47.... 7...... 128 subconsciously....... 122 zeal.. 59............ 121 value areas of life.. 58.. 36. 79... 109....... 37........ 91..... 114 triggering event ....... 109.........53 transformation.. 109 triggers ..... 60............. 5..... 106 wounds ..................... 101...... 47.............. 80...................... 78..net iii ..... 30. 10......44.. 79 thought habits .....5... 34..... 2...... 84...... 95... 107..................... 22.... 118.....4. 29... 59........... 6........ 6. 110 Two Futures .83 Stephen Kosslyn ..... 77. 39.. 114 visualization....................... 37....................................... 46.. 43........ 45........ 8. 57........ 120 yummy list ...... 116 Women...

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful