This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. neuro pathways. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. . I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. As I said before. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. emotions and perceptions.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. feelings. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. when given the proper instructions. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality.
..............................................37 FABULOUS ............32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)..................8 BALANCE ......15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ..................1 ABUNDANCE ....................35 FABULOUS..........................................5 ANXIETY .......... E......................................................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)................ DIETING.......3 AFFIRMATIONS................. ANXIETY..............................................................................................37 FEAR ........................................................... ADDICTION............................ DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................ COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.......................... AFFIRMATIONS......................... ANGER................................................. G..... FEAR............................................................................................................................ ENERGY ......8 BEREAVEMENT .............................................. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS....................... C......21 DEPRESSION............18 COMMUNICATION ..................................................................................................26 DEPRESSION ..... ...................3 ANGER ................................................7 BALANCE................................................46 B................................................. FOCUS.................................43 GOALS .............................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ................. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................................................................................................................................................... FORGIVENESS.................................................................32 EMOTIONS............................................................................34 ENERGY .......................................................................... EMOTIONS..........26 DIETING .29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ........ D.................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ............................................................1 ADDICTION ...................................................................................................................... BEREAVEMENT ............. F........46 SMART GOALS .................................................................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE......................40 FOCUS ..........................8 CHANGE........................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE................
.......................59 KARMA................. LIFE...................................................................... INTUITION...........................................................................78 PAIN...................................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ......................69 MALE DEPRESSION........................................................................ L................ KISMET ........................................................................................................................................... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS................................................................. Q..............70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION................. HEALING................................................ K...................................................................................... N..................................................................................................................................................... PROSPERITY ....82 PROSPERITY ............................. M.......................H......65 LIFE.. PERCEPTION................52 IMAGERY........................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)................................................................................................56 JEALOUSY ........80 PAIN................ P.................80 PERCEPTION ............................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ................................................68 LUCK ........63 KARMA ............................................... HYPNOSIS................................................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION... PHOBIAS................................ MIND SUCCESS ............77 OVERLOAD............................... O..........................54 INTUITION...........................54 IMAGERY......................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION...................................67 LOVE.............................84 I....................................72 MIND SUCCESS ......77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ............... LOVE.................. .........................49 HEALING ................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)....63 KISMET ......................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ........................................... J...........................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION..................................... LUCK ...........................................59 JEALOUSY........................................................81 PHOBIAS ..........................................................................................51 HYPNOSIS....49 HEART FIRE ..........................................................
.99 TIMELINE THERAPY .........116 S.. STUCK ...........................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.................................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ...............96 STUCK ..........................111 X SMOKER............................................ Y............................................................................................................. Z........ T...............................................................................................94 STRESS .......................R................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .........108 WEIGHT ...........88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ......................................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE.. BINGER ETC ............ V........................................................... i.........................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE.... U................................................................... X............. VICTIMHOOD............................................. RELEASING................104 VISUALIZATION .....110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)....................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE............86 RELATIONSHIPS ........................103 VALUE AREAS.......... SELF-TALK..................................................94 SELF-TALK..................106 WEIGHT....................................................................................................................................................................................... RELATIONSHIPS........122 INDEX ......113 TWO FUTURES ...114 ZEAL .............................................. YUMMY LIST ...................................................................... WORDS.....................103 VICTIMHOOD ................................. DRINKER.....................................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS................86 RELEASING .................................................................. VISUALIZATION......................................................................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS............................................................................................................... W...................................................... iii ................... ii........................................................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).........108 WORDS...................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.... EXERCISES ................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.............................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ........................................................ WOUNDS .......
ADDICTION. occurrence. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. even worse. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Even when we know we have this tool. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. think we are making progress or stagnating. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. As a result. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience.A ABUNDANCE. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. AFFIRMATIONS. In order to make changes. love. It is our perception of any event. The future. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. however. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. indeed. fear of failure. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. fear of success. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. usually as a result of fear. a life that is rich and full. Because of this. ANGER. Fear of change. satisfying. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. we don’t trust it to be real. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. it is filled with laughter. excitement and yes. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. money and success. © Copyright 2003. incident.net 1 . we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it.
if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. so. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. helps them suppress the pain. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. cocaine. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. at least for a while. the more connected you feel.e. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. however. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. i. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. Unfortunately. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. and life just gets better and better. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. no matter what program you are going through. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. Your first step. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. the more vibrant and alive you become. People without strong desires slowly whither away. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. alcohol. Allow that desire to flow through you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction.. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. at least while they are using their drug. you do have a choice. It is important though. who you can call when you feel you might slip. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. however.net 2 . As unpopular and harsh as this may sound.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. A tempo that is magnetic.
time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. then you. The sooner we realize and accept that.practicalrecovery.org www. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. I agree with this school of thought. However. Many people. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. though. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. When you face this pain that you have been running from.com www. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. www. but you don’t have to. so. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict.net 3 . here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. A friend of mine once told me.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.passagesmalibu.com www. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. you will forever remain an addict.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. if it is not done. the addict. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible.habitdoc. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.secularsobriety.
” the message sent to your mind. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. © Copyright 2003. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. the steering wheel of your car.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. Always create an image of what you want in your life. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them.net 4 . You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. So. • Be specific.” Or say. then that means you are on the right track. always focus on what you want to move towards. If necessary.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. that’s like moving uphill. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” • State your affirmations in the positive.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. not what you want to avoid. When you do this.” Or “I will lose weight. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. your computer. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. • Always remember this. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. when what you really mean is. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t let fear hold you back. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. When you move towards what you want.
and heart palpitations. anger is the most common response. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. you may see yourself as an avenger. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. alcoholism. resentment. you may blame others for your situation or condition. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. along with mourning. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. shaking. cold hands. fatigue. looking for justice and revenge. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. If you see yourself as a victim. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. can lead to serious food addictions. it can be just as damaging. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. Not only is this destructive to you. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. drug abuse and depression.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion.net 5 . Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. hostility. In addition. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. When a relationship ends. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Holding onto anger. then anger becomes a serious health risk. Even if we bury anger deep inside. In situations that cause fear. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. going from one trauma to the next. crying. and in small doses can be a good thing. But some people seem to be angry all the time. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. hurt. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. So. eating disorders. When this is the case.
you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. however. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. Power and anger are frequently related. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. and depression. Also. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. and can lead to serious food addictions. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. fear and hurt. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. it will never go away. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. expressing your anger in an indirect way. and can help make you more content. coronary disease.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. Unfortunately. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. If you feel powerless. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. bitterness. Remember. cancer. releasing your anger. but anger that may be directed at you by others. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life.net 6 . alcohol and drug abuse. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. and even increased workplace injuries. In the past. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. sarcastic. and stubborn. suicide.
fear or anxiety. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. Fears. shakiness. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. fear or anxiety. mood swings. etc. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. weakness. © Copyright 2003. driving a car.net 7 . These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another.).ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. being home alone. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. flying. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. anxiety. Also. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. nausea. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state.
and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. No matter what you hear. Good advice. Twelve hours of day and night. Happiness. place or thing that can make you happy. No one can tell you how to be happy. a perfect balance.B BALANCE. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else.net 8 . it didn’t work. let them be a reminder to look inside. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. then it would make him happy as well. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. I told him the usual stuff. Sometimes we need reminders. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. that happiness must come from within ourselves. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. Just think about that a moment. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. There isn’t another person. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. you know. The problem was. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. then he’d really truly be happy. right? Yes and no. getting involved with a church.
No matter how hard we may try. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. It will. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. Whether it’s an emotion.co. That means stop analyzing everything so much. and in doing so. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. goal. They allow you to clear out the old. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. You are able to access your subconscious. working for you. the right kind of suggestions. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. lover. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. our voice. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. stop thinking it to death. In this state. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. desire. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. Woods. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. they allow the subconscious to grow strong.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feeling.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. happiness. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003.net 9 . job or whatever you are seeking. even the words we use. to balance the light and dark within yourself. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. fulfillment and life find you. But even more than that. jane@changingpeople. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. if we are angry.
but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. To a degree that can be true. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. It is an immutable part of the human condition. and generally we prefer not to think about it. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes.net 10 . that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. © Copyright 2003. for example. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. just a little. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. you must do what is right for you. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. and so on.the intensity and duration may differ. However. That said. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. letting relevant people know. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion.
You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. We may need evidence. Help them tell you their feelings. or for feeling angry. Some enlightened doctors know. This is where someone less involved can offer help. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. we may need to be told several times. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. once the first shock waves have abated. “If I do this.Denial A second common response. and just plain wrong.net 11 . is a refusal to believe the news. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. a normal response. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. Often that is enough. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. For example. we may be compelled to visit the scene. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. when they are breaking bad news to patients. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. It is unrealistic but again. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. disconcertingly. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. © Copyright 2003. uncaring. or those suffering alongside us. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. recognizing it and naming it. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal.
If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. just let it go. I have lost someone significant in my life’. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. even perhaps depressed. like fundraising for a particular charity. how to manage our grief. was decreed. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. For example. You cannot short circuit this process. when our behaviour. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through.net 12 .Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. and even our clothing.
Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. © Copyright 2003. not in any sense. However hard it is. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. be it with a handshake or a hug. Let close friends offer you comfort.net 13 . An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. which can be a comfort. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. you never go right back to the beginning. in this phase. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. we experiment with new ways of behaving. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. we begin to move on. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. feeling there is no point. So. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. ask them. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. however it feels. But actually. People want to help but they often don’t know how.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. You may find. If you need a hug. such as excessive use of alcohol. Experiment At some point. This does not mean forgetting them. and this will of course vary from person to person.
ritual can be helpful at this time. Literally. a card sincerely written. I hope it has been helpful however. surrounded by people. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Helping In Western culture. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Again. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Of course. or an offer of help with the shopping. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. whether for you personally. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. as I have said. taking flowers to an appropriate place. If you can. Knowing this can help you plan for it. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. be it lighting candle. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Make your peace with that and all will be well. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. take medical advice. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. be it taking some homemade food round.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. so we need to use our discretion. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others.” © Copyright 2003. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’.net 14 .
co. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. depending on the change. Woods.net 15 .rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. we can get very fed up. Some people embrace change and some resist it.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . How to Cope with Change By Jane C. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life.C CHANGE. and some simply telling you how to do it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. some research based. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. jane@changingpeople. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. depending on the severity of the change. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Just remember this. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. even depressed. Finally. some anecdotal. almost no one likes it. Sometimes. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Sometimes. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us.
apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. You are speechless at first. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It may ring a bell with you. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. You are feeling bright and chirpy. Finding they are. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. However. “What?” you say. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. Worse. © Copyright 2003. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. A Story Here is a short story about change. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence.net 16 .
. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. no one but you is going to see this. That is a fact to record on the top line. angry. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. joy of joys. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation.But then. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes.. did it make you sad. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. vulnerable. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. Use two different colours if you like. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. For example. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. So. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. don’t just focus on the negatives. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. or determined to make more effort. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you.net 17 . and. yes. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.
Obviously. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening.net 18 . even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. However. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. our responses to change are individual and personal. our thoughts. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. One may approach it in a positive way. while another may be much more fatalistic. The same principle applies to you. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. and therefore our feelings. They begin almost imperceptibly. overloaded message units and repressed fears. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. For example. are funny things. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. © Copyright 2003. Sometimes. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Similarly with our responses to change. however. Dawns. no one makes us feel anything. as the dawn progresses. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. At first. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. Then. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. Actually. But as the sun rises. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. another to frown and feel aggrieved. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen.
you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. need or want. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts.anxiety and emotions. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. you do not need to feel this way. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal.net 19 . a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). given enough time and repetition. inept. When this happens. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. apprehension and fear. but will actually consider them an order. confused or fearful. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. Be absolutely clear about what you want. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. see the right path. Giving you the feeling of freedom. however. clumsy. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. relaxation. even our physical health and well being. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. © Copyright 2003. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. detailed imprint of what you desire. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. For example. confidence. Unfortunately. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. you start to believe it yourself. you are in essence training your mind. If you are starting to feel anxious. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Ultimately. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. remember “dawn” can and will happen.
yoga. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts.net 20 . Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. with clarity. Guide them. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. does and will continue to offer you what you need. in addition. mold them and do it over and over again. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. Know that no matter what things might look like. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. If you want a New Beginning. Trust that the Universe has. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. As Abraham Lincoln once said. you always have a choice. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. realizing all the possibilities available to you.” So live your life fully. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. you need to be aware. it is a journey. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. go to that party you’ve just been invited to.achieving prosperity. all of your life. confidence and trust.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. It’s the life in your years. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. abundance. It does make a difference. you are actually living the life you want. want and desire. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. then the real fun can start. so. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. You will feel stronger. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie.
There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. yellow balloon. look and listen. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. I truly believe that faith. The problem is that we communicate differently. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. courage. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to.net 21 . engage and listen. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. © Copyright 2003. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses.knowing. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. dolphins . our answers are all around us. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. It is important not to go looking for your sign. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk.
E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. possibly even throws things when angry. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. whatever when upset. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional.net 22 . It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. First. So. and how natural and normal this is. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. it isn’t. but E&P affects. © Copyright 2003. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. Communication. In relationships. the way we communicate with each other. An example would be.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. however. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. enjoys spur of the moment activities. opposites really do attract. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. how they can come apart. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. cries. among other things. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. they will answer yes or no. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. people don’t realize just how true this is. if you ask a physical if they are cold. These two types. It is the physical who yells. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. screams. is so much more than simple questions.
You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. self-confidence. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Conversely. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. however is just one part of communication. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. Also.The same thing occurs when communicating. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It becomes a vicious circle. Words have power. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. You had to be strong. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. This E&P communication. Since we tend to project our thoughts. you can see how this could be problematic. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside.net 23 . Remember though. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. We heal from physical injuries. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. the more the physical pushes. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. they can ruin lives. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. © Copyright 2003. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to.
Your life depends on it After all. You know because I say it over and over again. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. your talent. beautiful heart and so much love to give. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. The woman who has come out of a nasty. each of us. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. keep your thoughts strong. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. someone will answer. But you are wrong. Make some calls. But most of all. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. by working it. call out for help. is powerful beyond belief. throughout your life entire life. wider and stronger each and every day. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. As a matter of fact. bad relationship and can keep on going. Also. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you.net 24 . For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. this planet needs you. The same holds true for what you hear. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. intelligence and compassion. but not only that. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Think and dream about your future. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. This is why “words” do have so much power. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. dreams and desires. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. leave. find out what you can do.
wife. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And that’s really what venting to another person is. Vent when you are alone. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification.net 25 .Each of us. Once said they are out there forever. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. our child. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. words can destroy you. But when you are with someone you care about. words can hurt you. © Copyright 2003. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. scream and yell and swear all you want. husband.
net 26 . patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. Miller goes on to stress.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. Mood is affected by dozens of genes.it is created. © Copyright 2003. if this work fulfills its potential. According to Dr. suicidal feelings. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system.even into very advanced old age. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. if we want to.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. In addition. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. however. and just like any other habit. No one is born with such a brain -. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. DIETING. we can take control of our thoughts and change them.D DEPRESSION. Researchers like Dr. As research continues in this area. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. but in essence they are just like any other habit. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. Dr. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. In fact. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. conditions and illnesses. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . Jill Ammon-Wexler. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. According to Dr. thought patterns and thought habits. depression. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. AND -. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression.
those interconnections then expand and strengthen. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience….) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. Think about that a moment.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. © Copyright 2003. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. I don’t want to be around negative people. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. I just want to be happy. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. “unhappy”. What it does understand. even more importantly. What we think. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. etc.net 27 . “disappointed in my relationships”. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. healthy muscles. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. fulfilled life.use it or lose it.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. what we say to ourselves. though. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die.
You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. 100 times more. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. reflect on the contrary. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Ph.” observes Dr. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Parkinson’s disease. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. epilepsy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). including cancer. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms.D. whether it is physical or emotional. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Fixing one problem can often help the other. Pay attention to what you are thinking. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Woman’s World. Bruce Cohen. on a subconscious level. October 18. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases.net 28 . Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. subconscious level. with the aid of hypnosis. Take responsibility for your thoughts. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. 2005. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. heart disease. So. is originating on a deeper. it will continue to go on. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. When there is negative thinking.. Massachusetts. Reflect on the positive.
sometimes to death. The first diet included six small meals a day. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. And throughout all of it. First we were told that fat. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. and of course. people. test or theory. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia.net 29 . scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. but in addition. especially our young women. and these are serious issues indeed. © Copyright 2003. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Part of one study. it seems as if all the doctors. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. we just don’t want to do it. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. then we were told maybe it isn’t. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. particularly among our young people. any kind of fat. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. The truth is. diet and weight. the second diet was only three meals a day. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. Confusing. is bad for you. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). according to the New York Times. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. we are really only getting part of the story. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. never a comparison with all the other studies. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. especially in the United States. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. now again we are hearing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). Chocolate was bad for you. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. When most of us think about diet and weight.
feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. and getting the right kind of support and advice. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight.net 30 . There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. © Copyright 2003. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. a lack of fulfillment. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. Just as with any weight. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. Releasing negative thoughts. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. With the internet available to all of us. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. satisfaction. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. In fact. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. weight issues are rarely just about weight. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. both emotional and physical. Knowledge is indeed power. confidence or happiness. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. one of the first things I tell them is. As we live our lives. it can include abandonment issues. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. by taking control of our thoughts.
Knowledge. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. I keep going back to this one phrase. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. that we keep going back to it. If you don’t like it. what does your world look like. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. This is. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place.net 31 . You can continue the work on your own. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. though just an illusion. in fact. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. So wonderful. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. what do you think about. © Copyright 2003. observe how you feel. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. Look at yourself. what do you see. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. though is not just about external fact. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. take control of your thoughts and change your life.e. fear. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. i. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things.com..
Not a hypothetical path. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. ENERGY. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. including depression. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. depression. anxiety. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. © Copyright 2003. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. As I’ve written before. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. anger. posttraumatic stress disorder. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. addictions and phobias. a negative experience itself. general stress. any negative experience. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. fear.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EMOTIONS. has no value of its own. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you.net 32 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
do not use self-hypnosis. As stated earlier. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. war trauma or severe physical illness. weight loss to pain and illness. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. In addition. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. With or without hypnosis. emptiness and anxiety. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. Remember. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. © Copyright 2003. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. understanding the negative experience is not enough. and more importantly. With regard to addictions. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. EFT can help with both the cravings.net 33 . The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. to addiction. deprivation. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant.
net 34 . One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. hurt. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. accidents and increased workplace injuries. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. One such study by Dr. but our physical health as well. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. For example. hurt and unforgiveness. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. hostility.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. NewBeginnings email@example.com brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. even more importantly. It can even be linked to suicide. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. resentment. meditation. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. Likewise. Ryke Geerd Hamer. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. By forgiving. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones.
Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. diet. etc. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. but it is not. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. etc). vaccines. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. pathogens. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Throughout this book you will find theories. exposure to toxic substances. In most cases of cancer. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves).net 35 . doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. it prevents depression. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. that we are out of balance. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. whole grains. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit.specifically. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. In addition to nurturing your mind. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. such as genetics. seems somewhat contradictory. white flour. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath.
your mind and body relax more and more deeply. but balance will return. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. © Copyright 2003. While listening to your hypnotherapist. imagery.who have the ability to relax more fully. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. stress. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again.net 36 . you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or an inability to let go and just relax. Hypnosis can help you. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. So.
curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. Fiber. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. Drink more water. Fruits and vegetables and spices. turmeric. aiming for 30 to 50 times. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. try counting the chews in each bite. primary by reducing the inflammation.F FABULOUS. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org in carrots. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. until the food becomes liquid. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. FEAR. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. 2. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Chew properly. Increase your intake of fish. Eat the right foods. soy. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. nuts. Their phytonutrients . whole grains. Healthy fats.net 37 . which as we know reduce inflammation. safflower and vegetable oils. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. The indigestible parts of fruits. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. FOCUS. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. garlic liberally. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. © Copyright 2003.
our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Our blood is what creates our cells.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. but so will saunas and hot baths. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day.net 38 . It relaxes and detoxifies your body. take deep breaths. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. our hair. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. chew. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. chemicals from manufacturing. The solution: Sweat. Breathe. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. our skin. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. 4. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss.) If under pressure at meals. 6. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Regular exercise should make you sweat. But breathing is also effective. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Eat homemade food. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Sweat – cleans up your system. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. As a matter of fact. Detox is a relative term. 5. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Losing weight gradually . In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Pesticides. Detox. Any form of exercise helps. our organs. which creates less gas. our tissues. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. 3. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything.
drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. Have sex. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. bread. 9. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Take the laughter yoga class. meats. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . you sure can laugh at one. etc. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. our relationships. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. fried foods. grains. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. boost mood. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. Laugh. hydrogenated fats.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. improving your healthy well-being. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. focused. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets.consists of slow. refined flours. Tai chi -moving meditation . diary products. 7. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . our jobs.it is delicious. 10. Even if you can’t tell a joke. 8. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fats. Have a home-made facial. © Copyright 2003.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. and improve overall health. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. I call it facial meditation. relaxes your body.net 39 .
When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. that one thing. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy.naturalcounselor.net 40 .com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. though. it keeps us from making a big mistake. what we expect.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. FEAR: fear of change. one thing seems to come up most frequently. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. healthy and joyous life you want. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. That one thing is FEAR. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. or even worse. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. a short while. insomnia or lack of energy. fear of failure. fear of success. mood swings. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
for the most part. the more connected we feel. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. We were told to grow up. This is wrong. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play.net 41 . But. 2. As children we were free to play. Something that is important to you right now. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. afraid of disappointment. the world of adults. in order to be an adult. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. instead.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. When you have specific. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. and grow up. career and health because you are afraid of failing. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). pretend and let our imaginations soar. as we grew older. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we have chosen. we were told to leave those dreams behind. If you haven’t done so already. Be honest. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. friends and lovers live this kind of life. People without strong desires slowly whither away. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. and life just gets better and better. the more vibrant and alive we become. have a reasonably happy life. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. relationships. get out your list and read it again. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Your goals must be your very own. we are afraid to dream.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. write down your goals and if you did write them down. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world.
Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. doing something together. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Use them. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. 4. breathing things. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. 5. Sometimes. FOCUS Look around you. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. As an example. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. even though we would gladly give it if asked.net 42 . parent. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. laughing. crying and so on. it’s hard to focus. life coach or whomever and ask for support. When you say your affirmations out loud. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Focus. though. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. push yourself to ask for help now. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. if your goal is to run a marathon. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. You know. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living.3. a powerful tool.
The subconscious processes everything.taste. though. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. whether asleep or awake. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. success and fulfillment.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. though.net 43 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. psychological imbalances. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. that release. health. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. affirmative statements. touch. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. and its effects may be positive. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. It disables your emotional resources. Luckily. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. When we go through periods of stress. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. smell and hearing. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. resentment or anger. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. it still exists in our subconscious. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. our subconscious is able to do this for us. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. confront the situation as needed. This is commonly referred to as memory. Over time. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. forgive and accept forgiveness. © Copyright 2003. physical and emotional well-being. sight. negative or neutral to our mental. recorded on brain and body cells. interpersonal and relationship problems. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. you are bombarded with millions of message units. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. During the course of a day. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious.
They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Once learned. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. tears. During the Releasing session. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. existing situation. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. fear and anxiety. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. Even when we sleep long hours. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. 5. 2. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. anger.net 44 . the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. laughter and perspiration. 3. They are also © Copyright 2003. This not only applies to a current. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. 6. 4.
This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. including health care professionals and clergy. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. and feeling great. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). disappointment. As people from all backgrounds. however. the Releaser is asked to state.net 45 . the brain is your biological computer. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred.). have learned. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. once learned. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. such as anger. as a Soul. © Copyright 2003. 8.” 7. “I release (relevant emotions. and your body and life are the printout. can be done alone. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. etc. sadness. function as a computer operator. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
This same principle works the same way for emotions. “I don’t know what I want. fun. your current life situation. Not only in your own relationships. After you’ve done this. Sometimes. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. an activity or a thing. a diversion to keep life interesting. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. whether it is an emotion. not really happy. not only does life get depressing. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. We find ourselves drifting along. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. I don’t know about you. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger.net 46 . If you think about anger. A really simple way to test this theory is this. though. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. Without goals. thoughts and ideas. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Each of us is already whole. You choose what you want in your life. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. Think of it as a game. something that is crucial to goal setting. if you think about a color. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. meaningful and exciting. take the color blue for example. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. Conversely. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. A state of being is not an emotion.
I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person.net 47 . © Copyright 2003. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. If you do this regularly. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. Adjustments are a good thing. sometime weekly. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. He’s got free will just as we all do.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. But you can’t manifest everything you want. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. change is the whole point. it would be a boring and scary world. it just means you make an adjustment. Don’t forget about free will. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. they will never be overwhelming. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. not if you want to improve your life. doesn’t mean I can have him. keeps us feeling alive. responsible. simple Measurable. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless.
Remember. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. set those goals.net 48 . So. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.
director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. by using specific. visualization and positive suggestions. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Working from the inside out. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state..H HEALING. speed up healing after surgery. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relieve depression and so much more. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. turning some functions on and others off. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. It can help relieve pain. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing.D.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. Ph. and help strengthen the immune system. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. lower blood pressure. imagery. releasing negative thoughts. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. In a pilot study published in 1999. As David Spiegel. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and.net 49 .
visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. soothing kind of treatment. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier.net 50 . “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. Every 15 minutes. and the third received standard care. in terms of levels of pain. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. The suggestions. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. © Copyright 2003. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. During the operation. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. anxiety and the need for painkillers. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. Arreed Barabasz. empathic care provider and hypnosis. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. though. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. that’s because it is. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy .
and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients.” Using imaging technology. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. On average. While in the trance. the brain’s manager and planner. then the real fun can start. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups.net 51 . so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember.” says Spiegel. which could account for heightened attention. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. While it is particularly effective in removing anger.” says Marc Schoen. “It’s not just a fantasy. In effect. you actually see it.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. experienced less pain. And this list goes on and on. involving more than 330 patients. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. A journey that you can now control. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. the hypnotized patients used less medication. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. realizing all the possibilities available to you. Once again. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. Spiegel and Lang found. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. If you think you are seeing color. psychologists say.
this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). As we each move through life. you can do this exercise while awake. Each incident throughout the day affects us. we each have to deal with something. hurt. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Sometimes. unpleasant. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. though. © Copyright 2003. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. resentment. this spark can grow a little dim. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. When I say fuel. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis.net 52 . stress. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. fear. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. rude or just plain nasty people. My purpose is to help them remember. All life starts as a spark. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. hurt. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. We have to cope with irritating. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. tension and minor frustrations. Problems that we encounter every single day. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. Some little problem or some big problem. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. With a bit of practice. Try it once and feel the results.jealously.
clarity. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. you create a vivid. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. comfort. The more visual and real you make your goal. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. a professor of psychology at Harvard. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. If there is anything in your world. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. euphoria and control of your life again. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. relaxed. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. every message unit. feel or react.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units.net 53 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. more positive thoughts. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. As a result. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. however. but the results will amaze and delight you. anything at all about yourself. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. Some pleasant. not only will you feel better immediately. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. © Copyright 2003. you will feel refreshed.” Using hypnosis. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. According to Stephen Kosslyn. Try hypnosis. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. and much better about yourself.
Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure.” Cheryl O’Neil. who I especially admire.I IMAGERY.is determined by the thoughts you think. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. fixing a problem in one place. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. create passionate relationships. However. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. Conversely. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life..” What we think. The brain is simply another organ in your body. mend your ways. etc. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. good or bad. etc.cheryloneil. More and more doctors as well as patients. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. build self-confidence. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. heal your body. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. What we experience as feelings. September 26. fear or confidence. can often help the other. depressed © Copyright 2003. 2006. Simply put. once wrote. failure or success. feel more loved. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. As stated in Woman’s World. and change your life .net 54 . boost your mood. what we say to ourselves. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. www. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Never. NewBeginnings email@example.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Your ability to overcome obstacles.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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Another way I practice is with elevators.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. The fourth part is training your mind. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Reiki. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.com. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. Meditation. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. You rise above thinking in mediation. Go with your first impression you get from each card. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. “What we think about we bring about.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. You know that saying. Private & Group Coaching.qualifiedlifecoach.com © Copyright 2003. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www.net 58 . John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. use a deck of cards. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Law of Attraction. 98% of the time I am right. Abundance. Self Esteem. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Motivation. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red.
If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. You want to see them become more of who they are.net 59 . You want to stop what you are feeling.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. Often. You feel violated. no matter what that entails. projections. you may go into a rage. and grow. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. delusions. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. envy. You are angry. You want revenge. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. in control of yourself and your partner. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. enjoy their life. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. succeed. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. It is essential to communicate clearly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. That’s the truth of love. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. If you can cool down. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. and if so. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning.
Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. If you move inward and look at yourself. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. If you can do this. not within the relationship. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. If your relationship is based on Attachment. It does not. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations.net 60 . © Copyright 2003. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Jealousy is like an onion. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. you cannot. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. the jealousy resides within you. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. you cannot make a person love you. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. You can give yourself the gift. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you.
Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. really look and analyze them. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. Projection. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. This is natural and normal. the truth behind what you are feeling. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Going down to an even deeper layer. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. you can reach self-awareness. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. This insight. The truth is that for most of us. Another layer can be guilt. guilt or anger. It is their own. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. envy. You do not own it. This is projecting. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. we find envy. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. These all grow out of expectation. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Another layer is projection. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. there is nothing to feel guilty about. Look at the reality. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Look at your beliefs. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. We think that we should be able to rise above it. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003.net 61 .
the resentment and the hurt. you become yourself possessed. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. Hypnosis can help. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. © Copyright 2003. Perhaps you fear abandonment. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear.net 62 . You become vulnerable. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. Surrender to it. If you find yourself doing this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then what you are experiencing is not love. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. frequently they are not real. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. fear of being alone. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. By looking deep within. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. let that guide you. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. they still don’t meet your expectations. You can choose to move away from those feelings. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. Fear of loss. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. and let that be who you are. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. If you are experiencing jealously. They come from our past. you can watch that love radiate out for all. Open your heart and mind to it. Once you release the anger. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. When you love. When you attempt to possess another person. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. look deep within yourself at these feelings. fear of not being worthy of love. but attachment. our childhood. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. If you love someone. You do not need to experience jealously.
is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. all of which determine our future. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. Jain. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. but generally the concept is basically the same. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. if you prefer. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. or alternatively.net 63 . Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable.K KARMA. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. present and future and because of this. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Most people © Copyright 2003. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Just a thought. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). There is no judgment involved. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu.
Fate implies no choice. Step in. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. prophet. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. saint or seer. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman.associate Destiny with fate. © Copyright 2003. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. In the Shang dynasty in China. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life.net 64 . If you are not satisfied with your life. but fate makes no allowance for free will. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. fate and destiny are not the same. As stated above. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. participate and change the direction you are heading. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. In the belief systems of many cultures. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which is a huge component of the human psyche.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The old saying. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. For example. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them.00 a year income. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want.000. “Let the chips fall where they may”. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. LOVE.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. is a good analogy. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. “What you think about will happen in your life. © Copyright 2003. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. LIFE. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative.net 65 .” It’s about where you put your focus. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. What ever it is. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. The concept of the law of attraction is. that can help you with exactly that. start by writing it down. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life.
I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. talk to those people. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. I promise you it will show up. Now the key here is to follow up with this.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. You asked for what you wanted.net 66 . now grab it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. pay attention. pay attention to what happens next. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. you then attracted it. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. allowing it to happen is vital. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. You have made it clear. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. There is something there to be learned or gained. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. etc. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. Now that you have set this up. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. don’t panic.
So live your life. The sooner we realize and accept that. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. she said “You didn’t waste those years. you used them to learn about yourself. originally thought of. Group Coaching.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. tele-classes and resources are offered. that is the Universe telling you go…. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. As a Life Coach / Business Coach.com. a very wise woman.net 67 . Go to my web site for more information. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. www. maybe © Copyright 2003. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. It is never wasted and it is never lost. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.in a different package. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. life is messy. who has no idea that she is. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. Individual Coaching. You never. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. She told him something I want to share with all of you. Not only that.” And I realized as she told me this. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you.qualifiedlifecoach.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic.
dating. living this life to experience love. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. romance. t. Definition: To pity. sex. First. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here.] Shak. I was reminded recently. compassion and faith. all kinds of love. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. [Obs. I’m not sure why exactly. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. trust . even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores.” When we talk about compassion. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. healing. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. never have. you are perfect. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. A noun. NewBeginnings email@example.com 68 . then. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. often including a desire to help. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. v.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. I know. partnered. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. some which I like and others not so much. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). married or alone. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. © Copyright 2003. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. but yes. com·pas·sion.
in the process. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky.Another thing that is so important to remember. My only question to your would be this. Luck is a real. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. that negative voice in your head. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. nobody can make it for you. measurable phenomenon. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. Instead of listening to that old record. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. and. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. lazy or self-indulgent. heal others and yourself. one that you can get behind.net 69 . as well. Give yourself a break. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. those we live with. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. then someone else. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). with all their faults. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. can start to love themselves as well. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. someone around you. © Copyright 2003. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then maybe. work with or just come into contact with.K. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world.
MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. certainly not for a real man. February 26. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. M. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another.M MALE DEPRESSION. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. As Dr. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. This can make treatment especially difficult. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem.D. In addition. sex. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. In the past. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003.net 70 . the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have.e. And yet. the depression and the cause of that depression. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. or even make the depression worse. and so do the ideal treatments. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. During the past 50 years. MIND-BODY CONNECTION.. (Harvard Medical School). but the underlying causes vary. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i.” Michael Craig Miller. with all these statistics facing us. 2007 article. Depression can manifest in many different forms. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. “Depression may look like a single disease.
subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. Working from the inside out. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. without help. During the course of this journey and these detours. hurt. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. This is not easy. fear or anger that you are experiencing. When this occurs. without wanting or meaning to. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. helping you regain strong mental-health. When you release the hurt. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. smooth and without bumps or potholes. Woman’s World. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. Edward M. As I quote above. using only your conscious mind can be a slow.D. When you recognize that this is occurring. 2005. love and happiness beyond measure. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. There are detours that we must take. Sometimes. bitterness. you take back control of your own life. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. As Dr. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this.net 71 . With the aid of hypnotherapy. fear.. guilt and depression. resentment. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. Ph. the healing process. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. difficult and painful process. however. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. Using © Copyright 2003. Hallowell. October 18. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel.
Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Dr. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. alcoholism. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. Holding onto anger. In addition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. © Copyright 2003. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. resentment. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. This has been proven by Dr. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. a German physician. can lead to serious food addictions. including diet. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. meditation. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. With the help of 20. hostility. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. pathogens.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. but our physical body as well. Ryke Geerd Hamer.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book.000 brain scans. hurt. drug abuse and depression. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. eating disorders. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide.net 72 .
Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. etc). what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. anger is what you will bring into your life. guide them in a positive direction. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables.D. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. It requires that you develop a success mind. Meditation works. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. but to your thoughts as well.exposure to toxic substances. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Success is largely an inner game. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. white flour. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times.net 73 . use it and use it frequently. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Success is a process of continually learning new information. and this applies to any negative emotion. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. thought or image. Believe me. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. etc. vaccines. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. I have been there and there is a way out. Ph. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. and © Copyright 2003. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. if you focus on anger. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. whole grains. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. This is a way of thinking. yoga can help. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. In addition to nurturing your mind. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.
make adjustments along the way. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. learn from your mistakes. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. see unlimited possibilities. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. but also change the world. fear of hard work. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. if you talk to any star athlete. possibility is in the dreaming. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. hardship. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. Fear of change. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. You will have to change to be successful. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. conditioning. or successful businessperson. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Develop a process to examine your fears. Take action. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. While success requires action. The success mind trains itself to ask. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. and failure. you simply need to start. Yet.net 74 . and create new realities. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. exploring one more option or opportunity. Take time to dream. © Copyright 2003. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. and keep moving forward. fear of failure. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). inventor. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. foster creativity. fear of what other people will think. Gather new information. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. This is one of the laws of success. generate new ideas. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. the less we fear them. fear that we are not good enough. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail.
your actions. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. Remember. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. But once you say no to an opportunity. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. The time to begin is now. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. You continue to grow. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. you will create even more opportunities for growth. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing.net 75 . Not simply because you say yes. Question. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. When you say yes. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. and success. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. experience. Your thoughts. your feelings. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. form opinions. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. It is never too late to develop your success mind. challenge. try on new perspectives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As you do this. your world and your success. think. and grow. adventure. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. you likely will feel fear. Mental toughness. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. create. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do.
a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. directed. engage again and refuse to quit. redirect the effort.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Mollie Marti. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. mediator. Ph.net 76 .. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. better. is President of Best Life Design.D. © Copyright 2003. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Stop caring what other people think. and healthier lives.bestlifedesign. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.com or www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.D. and smart action. Dream big and take consistent. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.molliemarti. J. happier.success and rewards your effort. Visit her at www. make corrections. lawyer. performance coach. Inc. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results..
Unfortunately. however. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. sports. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research.net 77 . disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. © Copyright 2003. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. There is. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. However. sales. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. John Grinder. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. linguistics and computer science. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. and interpersonal influence. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. Robert Dilts. management training.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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You have the power to change your perception. © Copyright 2003. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. activity. think we are making progress or stagnating.net 81 .medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. fire. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. Whether it makes us happy or sad. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Use it for minor headaches. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. growth. Also. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. use Yellow) money. remember that red not only represents life force. occurrence. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. red would probably not be the best color to use. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. health healing. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back.
Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. By the time your therapist is done. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. © Copyright 2003. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Depending on the phobia. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Once you have faced your phobia. If you are suffering from a phobia. but it is not a gift at all. Sometimes. it can make your life almost unbearable. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. It can be done in person and over the phone. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. this is how it works. this power. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. Perception is a powerful thing. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Relief is truly immediate. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen.net 82 . You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. though. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. You are then taken back to the phobia again. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. control it and use it wisely. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. Take control. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. there will be no emotional response. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Basically. But the results tend to be permanent. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts.
money as well. Fear of change. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. both written by Dr. happiness. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. In order to accomplish this. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. prosperity includes a rich. Mollie W.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. fulfillment and yes. even fear of success. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. fear of failure. it may be necessary to make some changes. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Marti. however. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. fun.net 83 . and not just money or things. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. joyful and full life filled with love. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. and not just a lack of money or things. you will enjoy them immensely. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. © Copyright 2003. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. Frequently they are a result of fear. thinking and dreaming.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking.
and hear it. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). It appears undeniably to be out there. touch it. They exist within consciousness. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. not the other way around. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. String Theory. in about three or four paragraphs! So. Unified Field Theory. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. Loop Quantum Gravity. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data.net 84 . In the dream it all seems very real. EPR Paradox. Superstring Theory. the Copenhagen Interpretation. Quantum Gravity. standing as a physical world. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. © Copyright 2003. Grand Unified Theory. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. because what was a mechanical. external universe. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. however. taste. in addition. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. space.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. independent and apart from us. around us. separate from us. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. instead. hear. touch. smell. Theory of Everything. Supersymmetry. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. as I started to research this a bit. utterly real. solid. they are all phenomena within the mind. However real and external these images may seem. M-Theory. We can see it. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. and tangible. Schroedinger’s Cat. Time. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams.
Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Cool. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. huh? So.So. and there’s only one real way to do that. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality.net 85 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.
I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. © Copyright 2003. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. how they can come apart.R RELATIONSHIPS. However. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. congratulations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. read on. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. First. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction.net 86 . It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. our behavior patterns. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. possibly even throws things when angry. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. These two distinct types. cries or screams when upset. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. It is the physical who yells. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. if you are not. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. RELEASING. In addition. Unfortunately.
She on the other hand. outgoing. his career. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. the relationship is of primary importance to her. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. In relationships. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. what the priorities of each are. Next would be their children. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. But let’s look into the future several months. And that’s a good thing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. To her partner it is his career. he cannot understand why. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. longer hours at the office. And boy do they do relate. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us.net 87 . on the other hand. This is natural. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. Their first priority is their career. is quite a bit different. secure and © Copyright 2003. I really do mean attraction. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. Let’s cover very briefly. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. then hobbies. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. With the physical female. She is happy. The emotional. When I say E&P attraction. So he starts spending more time at work. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. After all. For the physical. When they first meet. When his partner complains that they never see each other. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure.
© Copyright 2003. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. to get clear on your goals for the future. What can be done about this. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. Remember. though. communication is key to any successful relationship. Interestingly enough. The process is quick.net 88 . it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. Release anger. When you understand how the other thinks. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. sadness. When we are healthy and balanced. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. releasing occurs naturally. Sometimes. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. This is done through imagery and suggestion. fear and guilt. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. Plenty. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. With communication you can understand each other.
Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. positive thoughts. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. unpredictability and lack of control. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. fears.D. body and emotions. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. If your subconscious is ready. process and recall information. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Ph. Negative expectations. use your downloadable sessions first. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. physical. That may been all you need at this time. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. Both techniques are effective. and emotional states.net 89 . doubts. anger. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. hurt.
preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. to your computer. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. You wake up and your first thought might be. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. over the telephone.net 90 . build in ways to recoup your energy. boring day. Many rituals are quite simple.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. and in countless other interactions.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. As you spend energy during the day. make a choice to expect positive results. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. “It’s gray and cloudy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Rest is any activity. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. You give energy away to other people. It’s going to be a gloomy. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. you are ready for it. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. reading a book. Rather. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. For example. in and of © Copyright 2003. Think and say. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. As you add them to your day. taking in a deep breathe. You spend mental. each and every day. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task.
It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. you are less able to concentrate on your task. anger. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. which is pleasurable and restorative. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced.net 91 . Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. For example. When you carry negative emotions like fear. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. After a 90-minute presentation. fatigue. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. You’ve © Copyright 2003. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. Influence Management: Before any performance. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. rhythmic breathing. guilt. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. frustration.itself. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. and anxiety. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. linking it with a unique physical action. nervousness. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. after working at your computer for an hour. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. and discarding the emotion. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head.
A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. She chose a cloud as her focal point. consciously look at your focal point. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. works well. even if it is a good thing. . If you travel. “OK. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. prior to a presentation or meeting. I image a red line on the floor. you might choose a banner. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Yet. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. © Copyright 2003.simply applied a band-aid. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. such as a doorframe. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. As you travel or perform in different locations. body and emotions that it is time to perform. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. or a clock on the wall. back to my task. it also had drifted off. A tangible engagement cue. If you are in your office or in a conference room. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. I “turn on” my full engagement. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. As I cross the line. try to use the same type of focal point. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. For example. . as I walk in the door or up to the podium.net 92 . This leads to a less than stellar performance. but when it came time to start. It immediately precedes the performance and says. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. a piece of art. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. Any time you get distracted. can be viewed as a distraction. Before you perform. These distractions can come from any direction at any time.
As part of this process. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. It will throw you off. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. © Copyright 2003. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. J. they will provide great consistency. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. including caffeine and adrenaline. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. performance coach. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Ph.D. A close companion is the use of stimulants. is President of Best Life Design. lawyer. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. and success. happier. Mollie Marti. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. Visit her at www. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.com or www. concentration. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. alcohol.D. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. successful entrepreneur. This means that if you get away from your rituals. better. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. mediator..bestlifedesign. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals.net 93 .. Inc. If you cannot identify your rituals. and healthier lives. it won’t feel right.molliemarti.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Vitamin B6. irritability. impatience. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. broccoli. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. mustard greens. Almonds. causing irritability and nervousness. sesame seeds. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. brown rice.to be one of the first things that goes. moodiness and nervousness. kale. irritability. asparagus. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Vitamin B12. leafy vegetables. depression. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. blood sugar fluctuations. seafood. worry. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. apples. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. fear. Calcium. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. exhaustion. kelp. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. cabbage. salmon. etc. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. You need eat more avocados. bananas. prunes. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. garlic. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. depression. © Copyright 2003. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle.net 97 . then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. fish. apricots. such as hormonal imbalances. oats. chronic fatigue. Unfortunately.
nobody will. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. dates. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. root vegetables (such as potatoes. to work away your tension. lentils. our family? So let us be stress smart. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. insomnia or lack of energy. our cortisol levels drop. I know mine always have been). legumes. Kiss. barley. a founder of NaturalCounselor. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Call a friend. Bottom line though. Start squeezing something. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. though. Squeeze a squishy ball. Sing.Folic acid. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. who will take care of our children. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. but if something happens to us. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. such as a squishy ball.com © Copyright 2003. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. mushrooms. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. salmon. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners.naturalcounselor.net 98 . tuna and whole grains. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. Walk. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. brown rice. oatmeal. mood swings. carrots and turnips).com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. green leafy vegetables. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. In addition. oranges. you must relax.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
net 99 . It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. I know I have. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. According to the laws of physics. If you understand that. If you wake up today focusing on debt. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. a feeling. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. For example. If you wake up today affirming an illness. I used to feel that way often. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. but to the energy of the present moment. Energy is constantly in motion. because you cannot stand still. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. if you are having a problem with money. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions.. It is only important that it does. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. our results suggest.” Ginandes says. meanwhile. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. Ph. Hypnosis. can influence the body to heal itself.” So.D. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. During the sessions. You need to make room for change. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. for most people. And. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. © Copyright 2003.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery.D. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. smooth. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. You don’t have to create change. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. and elastic. Pain sufferers.net 100 . can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. really. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. Ph. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. the truth is. for example. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. it doesn’t matter why it works. In a pilot study published in 1999. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better.
So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Remember. to the left or to the right. Take responsibility for your life and direction. it is what feels best for you. © Copyright 2003. Take your time with this.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. There is no correct answers. look down on the Time Line.net 101 . Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Remember. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. your love and your joy. for you happiness and your abundance. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. If it’s behind you. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. When you have determined the directions of past and future. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get.
I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. bad things just happen. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). Sometimes what you need. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. It can look that way to others. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. You need them to tell you to be strong. Without getting specific about each of them. You procrastinated. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. I’d like you to consider another alternative. even if they cannot give it back. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. It might not have looked that way to others.net 102 . you stuck by the wrong person. © Copyright 2003. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. you made a mistake. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed.
These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. Spirituality. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. etc. VICTIMHOOD. you need to define what it is you want. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. First. whatever feels right. For example. © Copyright 2003.net 103 . while another may be a Wiccan. Picture yourself at age 80. another may practice Hinduism. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. 85. 90. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life.
many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. What you might think is wrong. you will certainly feel violated. Perhaps you are abused. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. © Copyright 2003. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. Something very unpleasant. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Remember. mugged or even raped. If it is what you believe. church and society. What value areas of your life are you happy with. then you’ve got a problem.Now think back over your life. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. or even the perceptions of our family. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. You might get angry. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. is you. are you really meant to be together.net 104 . Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. friends. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. but not only that. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. Think about all the value areas of your life. Figure it out early. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. However. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What areas cause you regret. then your perception makes it right. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”.
and society actually encourages this thought. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances.” But.S. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. etc. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my mother didn’t give me enough love. etc. Here in the U. my husband ignores me. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. for what you do and what you say.. my mother didn’t understand me. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. etc. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person.. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. happiness and joy available to each of us. Life. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A rather sad. my kids don’t show me any respect. It wasn’t fun. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. however. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. And. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. it means you are not responsible for anything. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions.net 105 . Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. But just take a moment now and really think about it. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. my wife doesn’t understand me. But now. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that.I want you to consider something. my friends don’t understand me.
Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. boost your mood. September 26. The woman who has come out of a nasty. eventually. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety.who you are. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. etc. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. can often help the other. beautiful heart and so much love to give. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. 2006. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. As stated in Woman’s World.. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. it is the ability to enjoy life. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. feel more loved. build self-confidence. Fixing a problem in one place though. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. For example. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. Remember.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. If we take back control. Simply. never © Copyright 2003. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.net 106 . we lose everything. You had to be strong. bad relationship and can keep on going. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. is powerful beyond belief. each of us. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. please. etc. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. If that is taken away from us .
Use the power of your mind. © Copyright 2003. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. If you are feeling down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depressed or negative. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. Is essence. can change how your feel.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. increase your self-confidence. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. relieve pain. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. So.net 107 . your imagination. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization.
5. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. etc. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon.e. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. bleached flour. it’s good again. If. the only diet that had ever worked for them.net 108 . the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. however. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. First one. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. before facts have actually been verified. Not only that. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. The truth is. included six small meals a day.) 3. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. diet and weight. WORDS. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight.W WEIGHT. Confusing. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. alcohol.. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. scientists. 4. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. refined.
9. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 19.net 109 . 8. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 7. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Out of all the food you eat in a day. Has your mother. © Copyright 2003. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 10. 17. 20.6. 18. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Do you associate a person. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Do you eat breakfast? 15.
it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. You know © Copyright 2003. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. a lack of fulfillment. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be.Now. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images.net 110 . causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. self-confidence. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. they include abandonment issues. having said all that. satisfaction. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. More often than not. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Abuse victims. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. by working it. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. WRONG! Words have power. confidence and happiness. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. We heal from physical injuries. You had to be strong. survivors. you know that as strange as it may sound.
Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. but not only that. Think and dream about your future. keep your thoughts strong. throughout your life entire life.because I say it over and over again. dreams and desires. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. The same holds true for what you hear. When this occurs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. your talent. this planet needs you. husband. Vent when you are alone. lover. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. This is why “words” do have so much power.net 111 . If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. And that’s what venting to another is. But you are wrong. As a matter of fact. words can hurt you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. But when you are with someone you care about. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. And for each of us. Also. call out for help. Your life depends on it After all. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. find out what you can do. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. But most of all. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. scream and yell and swear all you want. Once said they are out there forever. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. someone will answer.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. wider and stronger each and every day. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. wife. I have to say this. intelligence and compassion. Make some calls. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this.
when things are going smoothly. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. especially in interpersonal situations. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. If you can do this. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. can help. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. If you do not feel ready for that.withdraw into ourselves. However. or. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. much like arthritis in wet weather.net 112 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. Releasing sessions can work well with these.
BINGER ETC. the body you want. vital. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. DRINKER. Make a commitment and a decision. strong. drinking. vibrant. you have a decision to make. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. © Copyright 2003. Before you make that decision. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Notice what you see. very clearly. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Once you decide that you want to quit. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Take a moment and let these images form clearly.X X SMOKER. energy. Make a promise to yourself. clear skin. Whatever it is. Wait 10-20 seconds. your energy will flow in that direction. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. Wait 10-20 seconds.net 113 . What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. what is different and better. the decision becomes easy. doesn’t it?. healthy. are you now sure which one you want. And now let those images fade completely away. When you have done this. You can choose to live your life. What do you look like. You have the opportunity to see a different future. binger or whatever. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Notice how you feel. drinker. clear and easy breathing. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Of these two possible futures in your life.
YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. So. you may never receive it. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. your entire belief system. you can only lift a small amount of weight. it does not mean you will receive it. Compare it to strength training. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. © Copyright 2003. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. In making a choice. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. success. When you first begin to work your muscles. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. joy. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life script. For instance. you always have a choice. a better job. happiness. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home.net 114 . prosperity or anything on a conscious level.com. Everything in life is a choice.
com To me. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. © Copyright 2003. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery.hollygleason. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention.net 115 . makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie.According to Holly. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. check it regularly. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. check it out at www. looking around. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be.
Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. intensity and passion.net 116 . If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. cause. And always remember this. An antonym is apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. or ideal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or ideal and the determination to further that person. cause. please do it with zeal and without apathy. fight for your dreams and your goals.
You can also visualize this word in your mind. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. While you are doing these three karate chops. To make this even more effective.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine.” and the “sore spot. © Copyright 2003. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.” “gamut spot. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point.net 117 . There are 15 points. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation.
I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 11.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Do what feels right for you. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. or DEPRESSED. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. 5. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. or anything you want changed.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. 2. fear.” © Copyright 2003. 4. 7. anxiety. 9. You can go through the tapping process several times. 10. 3. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. or AFRAID. 6. 12.net 118 . Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. This is not a sentence. 8. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you can use just one or two words. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but do each issue separately.
It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. And as your heart fire increases. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. you also release all negative thoughts. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. As you do this. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. emotions. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. feelings. ideas and beliefs within yourself. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. © Copyright 2003. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. hurt. you open all pathways to love.” And that’s all there is to it.net 119 . Perhaps it is now just a small spark. your connection with yourself is complete. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. I love myself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. And as your heart fire increases. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. By burning away all anger and negativity. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. resentment or negativity away. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. uncross your arms and legs.
I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. Then imagine or visualize white granules. hear the waves and the birds. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. at the beach. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. allow that color to flow in and out as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. days. weeks. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. see the image). smell it. hours. months or even years to be released. Take yourself fully into this place. like salt.net 120 . The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out.e. cleansing breath in and let it out. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. smell the salt. heal yourself and relax yourself. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. anyplace. If you feel like it and have the time. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. hear it (i. If another color comes to mind. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. See it. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place.. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. taking this time right now for myself. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. Then when you are ready.
SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain.net 121 . Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Let go of all tightness within you. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. or whatever it is your desire. relationship. my guy and I are in love. happy and having fun together. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. yourself. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. © Copyright 2003. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. emotions. activity. thoughts and feelings. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Here’s my snapshot. You are in control and in charge of your body.
I choose to forget past mistakes now. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. positive delightful reality. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward.net 122 . I keep saying ranch until that image. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I say to myself RANCH.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. With my thoughts I create my new. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. © Copyright 2003. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. live in the moment and dream in the future. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. I vibrate with positive energy. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body.
.... 97. 89. 77.... 104........ 93... 43... 22.. Ph.. 10. 55 Dawn Abraham ...107 abuse 5.... 90 coronary disease. 46. 63.. 48................. 115...... 59.. 95...... 29... 39. 129. 38...... 86.. 21... 60. 28..... 104. 71....5... 26................ 32. 35.. .38.. 79..24..5.D.......... 3... 20... 7. 16.. 95. 6. 126 adrenalin ... 102... 5.. 96...... 35... 47. 119..... 54... 84... 125 energy ... 42...... 3....... 63....... 32. 46..... 123. 23.... 55 emotional freedom technique .................. 45..... 113 Abraham Hicks .... 105 darkest hour ..... 31... 60............. 113.......... 101.......... 15. 78.... 89.............. 117.. 32. 67.... 103........ 97.. 90...................2.. 21... 22......... 78... 94. 24.. 101....... 62....... 76..... 73.21 Arreed Barabasz . 53.. 7.. 97. 24 eating disorders...... 104... 45. 83..86 Circle Therapy .. 25..... 42.....2. 119.. 118 consciousness 8. 106......... Ph.. 78 alternative programs ......... 18.. 37. 70... 43. 64... 79 cancer... 61........... 79 Carol Ginandes.. 116 disease. 27.... 102.. 78 affirmations....... 24.... 44. 72.. 52.. 71. 118 acute pain... 19... 1.......... 97........ 127... 78 EFT . 90... 38.1.. 46.. 32... 26.. 47. 22....... 39... 34.....2............... 7........ 127. 81.............. 5............ 27.. 52. 37...... 50...... 27.... 128 anxiety 7. 60.. 81..... 32... 36..... 56. 114.. 74.. 66. 44. 106.54 association .... 48... 80.... 35.. 31.... 94..D........ 72...... 98.. 12... 106. 33... 130 focus...2.. 12 Elvira Lang .. 81. 103.... 76...............5.... 76.... 27........... 131 dreams 22. 6.... 44....30. 78 E&P attraction .... 94.. 105.... 97.. 129 food addictions...... 35. 19... 57....... 21. 80... 119 confidence. 21...... 97.... 47. 78 cortisol ..... 36.. 79.....24...........7..... 30 Eric Butterworth ..... 79 dream 1....... 94 baggage.... 89...... 35......... 94. 6. 36..... 116 Bereavement ......... 129 diet ... 114.. 63.. 130 epilepsy .. 52.. 121. 128.. 110.. 98........ 94............... 57. 6.... 126. 7.. 6. 78 chronic pain . 14........... 58..... 37..... 81. 35.. 42.... 6. 77... 37..... 4........ 74... 30.. 96.............1........ 10..... 30..... 58. 5....... 21...... 88... 124 drinking........ 91.. 32..... 8. 8..... ..... 78... 84. 43.................. 104... 50... 44..... 37..... 6.... 126... 71. 6....5. 74... 60... 20...... 78........ 5....... 109..... 26....... 45... 7 attraction ... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ... 22.... 23...88 clarity 9... 50.. 114. 44.................. 52.7.. 38. 89 fear 1... 41.. 21...... 103........ 125........... 35.... 122.. 53. 130 apprehension...... 60.30 anchor ..... 38. 96...... 78. 5....86 addict .. 102.......... 58........... 35... 5. 23. 4.. 121 drug abuse... 4. 46............. 92.......... 44.... 95 © Copyright 2003.. 70. 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 2........ 77........ 45. 2....... 88. 44... 21... 116.....................3. 109. 78.... 81. 37.. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ..Index 12-step programs ..... 31.. 38..... 47.. 63... 112.. 10 binging ....... 75.. 76 desire... 9..8 Adrian Calabrese....... 78 forgiveness......... 99.......... 73 depression ........9... 55. 121......... 87.. 114. 3 addiction .53. 110 communication . 55..... 94.. 91.... 41........ 94.....121 blood sugar ....... 89 balance .. 25... 28... 95. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 6. 33.. 56. 104......... 114.. 79......58 choice2. 36.125 anger . 127............. 76...... 3 Alzheimer’s ... 122 chronic anger ....net i ... 65........ 129 alcoholism..... 21..... 37........ 71.... 36... 112 compassion ...... 43... 21 David Spiegel.... 54.. 36.
79....... 86 habits.... 121 snapshot .........83 John Kappas... 118..... 84. 34. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice.... 7.. 37..... 38.... 55... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis..............10...3... 29 neuro pathways ...... 25......... 119 neuro-linguistic programming .. 79.... 37....................... 127..... 105 Jane C.... 76..... 5. 2..fulfillment . 39...... 33... 56............. 7. 77........ 26.... 32 phobia . 8.. 32............ 81. 19. 93....... 53.. 23... 107 healing .. 51.. 63............ 14...... 78.... 30 passive-aggressive .. Woods .. 89... 71 life force... 79........ 53... 38..28 John Grinder ........ 57..... 65.... 64.................... 83 Robert Dilts... 111....... 26.. 103..... 120. 127 hypersuggestible .... 58..... 34... 42.. 53. 58.............. 54...... 27.. 9.35 goal .2.... 43. 40..... 109............ 46.. 93 message units .. 79... 53.. 58. 122 Ida Kendall . 129 heart disease.32 illness 36.......... 37. 21........ 83 overload .. 58. 87....... 109......... 94... 84 panic attacks........ 127.30 high blood pressure... 21.... 123.. 79.. 54.... 60....... 116.. 43... 1... 115.. 27... 56..... 30.... 76... 125... 86......... 6. 125 men . 119. 65.... 86...net ii ... 107. 37 powerless . 5.. 58.. 118........ 5.....7.... 116 happiness ........ 101... 77......... 36...................... 110......... 78. 36 Guilt .... 83 Roger Callahan ..... 122.. 107.. 21... 110............ 89..1...... 16....... 57...... 110. 103.... 99.. 117 medicine..................... 10..... 39..... 35.. 6............................76 Hridaya Yoga..12 habit .. 45. 77... 78.. 129 resentment..... 47..... 28.5.. 13. 10.... 44.. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003....... 114.. 6..................11............................................................ 37 self-esteem . 87... 95.. 94................. 87. 77............... 22.. 88... 112. 36..... 64......... 114 imagery ...............32 hypnotherapy .... 29. 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ......... 108 Parkinson’s disease... 53...... 86. 74.. 30..37... 22.10..... 47... 119................ 15. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ..... 57..... 58........ 47.............. 6.... 10. 58... 52. 58........ 9. 89... 50. 83 nitric oxide ....8. 8.. 105.... 79............................. 47...... 13... 6......... 118... 10...... 57..7.. 44.36 joy .........54 Irina Wardas .. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .9. 67.. 42.. 118 Gary Craig ..... 39. 78.......... 37.... 94 mood swings ........ 77.................. 46... 85..... 31....... 128 Richard Bandler ..... 6 Pat Dennis.............. 113.. 57.... 88... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 57 neural interconnections ........ 66...... 128.. 115 smoking..... 101 self-image . 43....... 56... 37.. 56 hurt............ 59.... 43.... 129 grief... 43. 17 Janet Luhrs. 54........ 4.... 59....24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.. 118 self-talk ....... 57. 35. 78... 109......... 37....... 42........ 130 Judith DeLozier . 56................9... 5.. 54.... 78. 30.. 87 lose weight 4. 47.. 56.. 79... 77.. 59........ 89 phobias........... 32.. 47....... 38......... 49..... 35. 50...... 77...... 125 immune suppression .. 21....... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute .. 107.. 63. 3........ 6.. 117.8 hypnosis . 54..........10...... 7..... 101.... 121 relationships24......... 67..... 95........ 77.. 77......83 Law of Attraction.. 122 Harvard .. 22........ 120 relaxation .. 37...... 76....... 99......... 60..... 109........ 22........ 78.. 15..84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ...... 78.. 22... 53.. 78 NLP............................. 43........ 69....40.. 67.... 59. 92.............. 59.. 10..... 113..24.5............ 120... 30.... 37...... 29... 75....... 113 prosperity ...... 32. 102... 115..... 83........ 28. 77...... 78. 32....
85. 125................ 38................... 2. 77....4. 5. 122.........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .....107 trigger.......... 39................. 10.........................57 stress hormones ........ 114 weight ........ 113. 80.... 78......... 56................. 115.......... 43...... 22..... 109.......... 78 subconscious................. 120 suicide.... 6...... 34....53 transformation........ 120 yummy list ...... 114 triggering event .............. 6.. 94. 77..... 109......... 84... 110 Two Futures ..... 65..... 95..... 6...... 29... 21...... 75...... 46.. 59. 30............. 57. 36... 118.....5......... 122 zeal.... 37......... 47.. 112...... 116 Women........ 114 visualization.......... 45.... 58... 77... 91... 124 © Copyright 2003..... 85........ 59............................. 101.. 60. 109 triggers . 5...... 37..... 30... 44..83 Stephen Kosslyn ........... 8............. 7.............. 34. 37.. 26................ 128 subconsciously......... 121 value areas of life..... 47... 7...44. 78..... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 111 victimhood ... 48.................... 107.........6. 106 wounds ..... 79..............net iii .... 77..............Stephen Gilligan .................. 79 thought habits .... 95..