This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. neuro pathways. when given the proper instructions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. . and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. feelings. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. emotions and perceptions. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. As I said before.
.................3 ANGER .........7 BALANCE.. AFFIRMATIONS............... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS.................................................................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...............................................8 BALANCE .18 COMMUNICATION .................. EMOTIONS........................................................................................................................................................ G......46 SMART GOALS ......................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ................................................................43 GOALS .....................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ........... BEREAVEMENT ..................................34 ENERGY ....................40 FOCUS ................................................. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE........ ADDICTION.. FOCUS....35 FABULOUS.............26 DIETING .....................26 DEPRESSION ...................................................................................................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE .......................32 EMOTIONS.......................................................... F...................................................1 ADDICTION ..............................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...............................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.21 DEPRESSION....................................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................3 AFFIRMATIONS...................... ........................................ FORGIVENESS.................................................................. DIETING................................... ANGER................................................5 ANXIETY ........................37 FEAR ................................................................................................................................................................................................................................... D................. FEAR................ E.. DRUGS TO ESCAPE .........46 B...............8 BEREAVEMENT ...... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.......8 CHANGE.................... ANXIETY..........................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).. C...................................................................................................37 FABULOUS ............................... ENERGY ...............................................................................................
...........................63 KISMET .................................. PHOBIAS.............56 JEALOUSY .............................................70 MALE DEPRESSION... Q.................................................................84 I.................................................................................... PERCEPTION......................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ..49 HEALING ................................................................................................................................................................. P........................... .83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ..............................................................................................67 LOVE........... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)..................................51 HYPNOSIS.68 LUCK ............................................................77 OVERLOAD......................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ....... KISMET ...... O..................59 KARMA.......65 LIFE......................................................................................................................................................................................72 MIND SUCCESS ......................................................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION.................................................................................. MIND SUCCESS ............59 JEALOUSY.............................................................................................................................................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION..................................................................................... N......80 PERCEPTION ..........................................69 MALE DEPRESSION.............................................. PROSPERITY ........ INTUITION............. J. LOVE.......................................................................54 INTUITION.................................................. K.......... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS...............49 HEART FIRE ..........................................................H............................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).................................................... LUCK ............. LIFE........................................................54 IMAGERY..80 PAIN....................63 KARMA ..............81 PHOBIAS .....................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION..................................................................... L........................................ HYPNOSIS........... M. HEALING....................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ................................82 PROSPERITY ..78 PAIN...............52 IMAGERY....
............... VICTIMHOOD.........99 TIMELINE THERAPY . STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)..R.................................. T.................................... Y...........106 WEIGHT................................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ...................................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ........................................................................94 SELF-TALK..................................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.......... VISUALIZATION....................................................................................................................................................................... WORDS............108 WEIGHT ..................... RELEASING........................................113 TWO FUTURES .............. EXERCISES .... ii....................................................................122 INDEX ....................96 STUCK ... X............................................. BINGER ETC ........................................................ U...........................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .........................................................................103 VALUE AREAS.................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ..108 WORDS...........................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT................................................... YUMMY LIST ..................94 SELF CONFIDENCE................................. iii .................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)........ STUCK ........111 X SMOKER....... DRINKER..................................................... Z............................................... WOUNDS .... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS...............................................................................................................86 RELEASING ......................... i........................................... V...........................................................................94 STRESS ..103 VICTIMHOOD ................................116 S.........................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE.................. W.114 YUMMY LIST .......................................................................................................................................................... RELATIONSHIPS..104 VISUALIZATION ...............................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE....102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE......114 ZEAL ... SELF-TALK............................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS....................................................................................................
we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. usually as a result of fear. we don’t trust it to be real. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. occurrence. it is filled with laughter. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. Fear of change. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. satisfying. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. incident. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. fear of failure. Even when we know we have this tool. money and success. It is our perception of any event. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. indeed. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. As a result. even worse. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. © Copyright 2003. excitement and yes. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. ANGER.net 1 . You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. think we are making progress or stagnating. however. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance.A ABUNDANCE. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. love. The future. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. Because of this. AFFIRMATIONS. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. a life that is rich and full. fear of success. In order to make changes. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. ADDICTION. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad.
Your first step. Unfortunately. Allow that desire to flow through you. helps them suppress the pain. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the more vibrant and alive you become. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. who you can call when you feel you might slip. however.e. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. no matter what program you are going through. and life just gets better and better. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. you do have a choice. the more connected you feel. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. so. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. at least while they are using their drug. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer.net 2 . While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. A tempo that is magnetic. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results.. cocaine. at least for a while. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. It is important though. alcohol. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. People without strong desires slowly whither away. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. however. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. i. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you.
the closer to the surface this pain will rise. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. if it is not done.practicalrecovery. The sooner we realize and accept that.habitdoc. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone.org www.net 3 . However. though. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. Many people. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.secularsobriety. www. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. the addict. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. I agree with this school of thought. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.com www. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. When you face this pain that you have been running from. so. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. but you don’t have to. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then you. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.com www. you will forever remain an addict.passagesmalibu. A friend of mine once told me. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.
When you do this. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. If necessary.” the message sent to your mind. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. then that means you are on the right track. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.” • State your affirmations in the positive. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. Don’t let fear hold you back. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. • Always remember this. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. always focus on what you want to move towards. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. • Be specific. when what you really mean is.” Or say. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit.” Or “I will lose weight. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. Always create an image of what you want in your life. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. your computer. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. the steering wheel of your car. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.net 4 . not what you want to avoid. When you move towards what you want. that’s like moving uphill. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. © Copyright 2003. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. So. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want.
Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. looking for justice and revenge. When a relationship ends. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. you may blame others for your situation or condition. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Not only is this destructive to you. hostility. If you see yourself as a victim. But some people seem to be angry all the time. cold hands. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. shaking. Even if we bury anger deep inside.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. crying. So. you may see yourself as an avenger. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. going from one trauma to the next. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. alcoholism. it can be just as damaging. along with mourning. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another.net 5 . hurt. and heart palpitations. resentment. can lead to serious food addictions. eating disorders. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. then anger becomes a serious health risk. and in small doses can be a good thing. Holding onto anger. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. anger is the most common response. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. In situations that cause fear. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. In addition. drug abuse and depression. When this is the case. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. fatigue.
Also. it will never go away. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. bitterness. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. however. but anger that may be directed at you by others. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life.net 6 . If you feel powerless. alcohol and drug abuse. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. coronary disease. Power and anger are frequently related. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). and even increased workplace injuries. sarcastic. and can help make you more content. releasing your anger. and stubborn. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. cancer. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. suicide. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. and depression. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. © Copyright 2003. In the past. fear and hurt. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. and can lead to serious food addictions. Unfortunately. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. Remember. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. expressing your anger in an indirect way.
These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. nausea. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. being home alone.). etc. weakness. © Copyright 2003. driving a car. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. mood swings. Fears. fear or anxiety. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. flying. anxiety. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. fear or anxiety. Also. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. shakiness.net 7 .ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Twelve hours of day and night.net 8 . Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. you know. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. Happiness. place or thing that can make you happy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. No matter what you hear. Good advice. then he’d really truly be happy. I told him the usual stuff. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. then it would make him happy as well. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. The problem was. right? Yes and no. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. it didn’t work. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. getting involved with a church. that happiness must come from within ourselves. Sometimes we need reminders. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. No one can tell you how to be happy. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”.B BALANCE. let them be a reminder to look inside. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. There isn’t another person. Just think about that a moment. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. a perfect balance.
But even more than that. desire. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. They allow you to clear out the old. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. That means stop analyzing everything so much. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. feeling. happiness. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. stop thinking it to death. job or whatever you are seeking. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. even the words we use. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. No matter how hard we may try. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. Whether it’s an emotion.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. if we are angry. jane@changingpeople. and in doing so. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable.net 9 . hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. lover. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. fulfillment and life find you. Woods. goal. to balance the light and dark within yourself. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. You are able to access your subconscious.co. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. working for you. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. the right kind of suggestions. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. our voice. It will. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. In this state. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has.
If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. just a little. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. To a degree that can be true. However. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. That said. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. It is an immutable part of the human condition. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. for example.the intensity and duration may differ. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. letting relevant people know. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. you must do what is right for you. © Copyright 2003. and generally we prefer not to think about it. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. and so on. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds.net 10 .
Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. or for feeling angry. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. uncaring. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. or those suffering alongside us. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. is a refusal to believe the news. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. and just plain wrong. Some enlightened doctors know. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. “If I do this. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. disconcertingly. we may need to be told several times. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information.net 11 .Denial A second common response. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Help them tell you their feelings. recognizing it and naming it. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. For example. It is unrealistic but again. when they are breaking bad news to patients. © Copyright 2003. We may need evidence. Often that is enough. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. we may be compelled to visit the scene. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. once the first shock waves have abated. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. This is where someone less involved can offer help. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. a normal response. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone.
although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. I have lost someone significant in my life’. like fundraising for a particular charity. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. when our behaviour. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death.net 12 . but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. was decreed. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. You cannot short circuit this process. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. For example. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. even perhaps depressed. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. just let it go. and even our clothing. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. how to manage our grief.
in this phase. and this will of course vary from person to person. not in any sense. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. However hard it is. be it with a handshake or a hug. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. You may find. If you need a hug.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. feeling there is no point. we begin to move on. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. © Copyright 2003. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. But actually. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. we experiment with new ways of behaving. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. People want to help but they often don’t know how. This does not mean forgetting them. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. Let close friends offer you comfort. which can be a comfort. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. such as excessive use of alcohol. you never go right back to the beginning. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. ask them. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. however it feels. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t.net 13 . Experiment At some point.
so we need to use our discretion. surrounded by people. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. I hope it has been helpful however. as I have said. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. or an offer of help with the shopping. be it taking some homemade food round. take medical advice. Make your peace with that and all will be well. taking flowers to an appropriate place. Literally. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss.net 14 . Knowing this can help you plan for it. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor.” © Copyright 2003. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. whether for you personally. Of course. be it lighting candle. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. ritual can be helpful at this time. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Again. Helping In Western culture. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. a card sincerely written. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you can.
depending on the severity of the change. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it .co. This phase goes on for ages or not too long.net 15 . even depressed. Woods. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. some research based. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. Finally.C CHANGE. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. some anecdotal. jane@changingpeople. depending on the change. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. and some simply telling you how to do it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we can get very fed up. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. almost no one likes it. Sometimes. Just remember this. Sometimes. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Some people embrace change and some resist it. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003.
You are feeling bright and chirpy. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. You are speechless at first. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. “What?” you say. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. It may ring a bell with you. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Worse. © Copyright 2003.net 16 . However. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. Finding they are. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. A Story Here is a short story about change. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them.
but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier.But then. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So.. or determined to make more effort. Use two different colours if you like. and. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. joy of joys. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. yes. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. no one but you is going to see this. don’t just focus on the negatives. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. That is a fact to record on the top line. vulnerable. For example. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. did it make you sad. angry. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. For example.. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation.net 17 . Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then.
you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. Actually. At first. our responses to change are individual and personal. another to frown and feel aggrieved. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. However. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. no one makes us feel anything.net 18 . however. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. Sometimes. The same principle applies to you. overloaded message units and repressed fears. Obviously. They begin almost imperceptibly. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. Similarly with our responses to change. But as the sun rises. © Copyright 2003. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. and therefore our feelings. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. while another may be much more fatalistic. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. Dawns. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. our thoughts. For example. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. Then. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. One may approach it in a positive way. as the dawn progresses. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. are funny things.
you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful.anxiety and emotions. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. For example. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. Giving you the feeling of freedom. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. Ultimately. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. Unfortunately. but will actually consider them an order. detailed imprint of what you desire. you start to believe it yourself. confused or fearful. remember “dawn” can and will happen. you do not need to feel this way. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence.net 19 . © Copyright 2003. If you are starting to feel anxious. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. see the right path. When this happens. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. given enough time and repetition. Be absolutely clear about what you want. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. confidence. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. however. inept. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. you are in essence training your mind. relaxation. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. apprehension and fear. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. clumsy. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. even our physical health and well being. need or want.
I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject.” So live your life fully. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. all of your life. yoga. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust.achieving prosperity. you always have a choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you want a New Beginning. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. with clarity. want and desire. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. confidence and trust. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. then the real fun can start. realizing all the possibilities available to you. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. Know that no matter what things might look like.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. mold them and do it over and over again. As Abraham Lincoln once said. it is a journey.net 20 . (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. abundance. does and will continue to offer you what you need. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. so. in addition. Trust that the Universe has. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. you are actually living the life you want. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. you need to be aware. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. It does make a difference. Guide them. It’s the life in your years. You will feel stronger.
dolphins . Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. engage and listen. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. The problem is that we communicate differently. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. I truly believe that faith. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. yellow balloon. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen.knowing. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. look and listen. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. courage. our answers are all around us. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. NewBeginnings email@example.com 21 . or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. © Copyright 2003. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. It is important not to go looking for your sign. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk.
physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. people don’t realize just how true this is. the way we communicate with each other. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. possibly even throws things when angry. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. but E&P affects. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. it isn’t. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. An example would be. and how natural and normal this is. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. whatever when upset. how they can come apart. These two types.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. opposites really do attract. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. © Copyright 2003. among other things. It is the physical who yells. is so much more than simple questions. screams. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. they will answer yes or no. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. In relationships. Communication. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. First. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. if you ask a physical if they are cold. So. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. enjoys spur of the moment activities. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however.net 22 . cries. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section.
When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Since we tend to project our thoughts. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Also. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. Remember though. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Conversely. You had to be strong. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. however is just one part of communication. they can ruin lives. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. We heal from physical injuries. It becomes a vicious circle. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. you can see how this could be problematic.net 23 . The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. © Copyright 2003. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Words have power. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the more the physical pushes. self-confidence.The same thing occurs when communicating. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. This E&P communication. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much.
take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Your life depends on it After all. Make some calls. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. this planet needs you. keep your thoughts strong.net 24 . The second step is to take control of your thoughts. dreams and desires. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. your talent. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. But you are wrong. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. by working it. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. call out for help. leave. But most of all. throughout your life entire life. Also. The woman who has come out of a nasty. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. This is why “words” do have so much power. © Copyright 2003. is powerful beyond belief. The same holds true for what you hear. You know because I say it over and over again. someone will answer. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Think and dream about your future.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. but not only that. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. bad relationship and can keep on going. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. each of us. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. beautiful heart and so much love to give. As a matter of fact. wider and stronger each and every day. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. find out what you can do. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. intelligence and compassion.
But when you are with someone you care about. © Copyright 2003. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. our child. words can hurt you. wife. words can destroy you. Once said they are out there forever. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about.Each of us. And that’s really what venting to another person is. Vent when you are alone. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scream and yell and swear all you want.net 25 . think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. husband. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back.
… You have billions upon billions of neurons. if this work fulfills its potential. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”.it is created. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. Dr. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. suicidal feelings. DIETING. conditions and illnesses.even into very advanced old age. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. Miller goes on to stress.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. According to Dr. Jill Ammon-Wexler. According to Dr. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. No one is born with such a brain -. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . © Copyright 2003. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. thought patterns and thought habits. if we want to. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As research continues in this area. In fact. AND -. we can take control of our thoughts and change them.D DEPRESSION. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. however. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. and just like any other habit.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited.net 26 . if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. but in essence they are just like any other habit. Researchers like Dr.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. In addition. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. depression. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup.
You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. fulfilled life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. “unhappy”. I just want to be happy. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. What it does understand. what we say to ourselves. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. etc.use it or lose it. “disappointed in my relationships”. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. Think about that a moment. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. healthy muscles. though. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. © Copyright 2003. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth.net 27 . I don’t want to be around negative people. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. even more importantly. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. What we think.
October 18. subconscious level.D. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. Bruce Cohen.net 28 . Fixing one problem can often help the other. whether it is physical or emotional. Pay attention to what you are thinking. So. on a subconscious level. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. it will continue to go on. When you can take a truth and internalize it. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. 2005. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Woman’s World. 100 times more. Ph. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. is originating on a deeper. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.. heart disease. When there is negative thinking. including cancer. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. reflect on the contrary.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. stroke and Alzheimer’s. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. epilepsy. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. Massachusetts.” observes Dr. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Reflect on the positive. with the aid of hypnosis. Take responsibility for your thoughts. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. Parkinson’s disease.
Part of one study. but in addition. and these are serious issues indeed. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. especially our young women. particularly among our young people. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). The truth is. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. is bad for you. never a comparison with all the other studies. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. First we were told that fat. diet and weight. The first diet included six small meals a day. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). then we were told maybe it isn’t.net 29 . the second diet was only three meals a day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. And throughout all of it. test or theory. we are really only getting part of the story. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. Chocolate was bad for you. any kind of fat. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. When most of us think about diet and weight. they are fat and unattractive! Hey.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. especially in the United States. and of course. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. © Copyright 2003. Confusing. sometimes to death. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. we just don’t want to do it. according to the New York Times. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. it seems as if all the doctors. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. people. now again we are hearing. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.
Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. © Copyright 2003. In fact.net 30 . As we live our lives. Knowledge is indeed power. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. and getting the right kind of support and advice. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. both emotional and physical. a lack of fulfillment. Just as with any weight. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. With the internet available to all of us. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. satisfaction. confidence or happiness. weight issues are rarely just about weight. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. by taking control of our thoughts. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. it can include abandonment issues. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. one of the first things I tell them is. Releasing negative thoughts. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make.When a client contacts me about a weight issue.
If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. © Copyright 2003. observe how you feel. what does your world look like. what do you see. I keep going back to this one phrase. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things.Knowledge. that we keep going back to it. fear. though is not just about external fact..net 31 . Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. what do you think about. This is.com. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. So wonderful. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. i. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. If you don’t like it. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. You can continue the work on your own. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. take control of your thoughts and change your life. in fact. Look at yourself. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. though just an illusion. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves.e.
This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. anxiety. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”.net 32 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. posttraumatic stress disorder. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. ENERGY. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. general stress. addictions and phobias. has no value of its own. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. fear. depression.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. Not a hypothetical path. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. As I’ve written before. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. © Copyright 2003. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. anger. any negative experience. including depression. a negative experience itself. EMOTIONS.
the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. EFT can help with both the cravings. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. emptiness and anxiety. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. deprivation. In addition. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. With regard to addictions. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. © Copyright 2003. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. understanding the negative experience is not enough. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion.net 33 . The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. do not use self-hypnosis. to addiction. Remember. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. With or without hypnosis. and more importantly.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. weight loss to pain and illness. war trauma or severe physical illness. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. As stated earlier. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one.
Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. One such study by Dr. meditation. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. hostility. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. hurt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. accidents and increased workplace injuries.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. Ryke Geerd Hamer. By forgiving. For example.net 34 . and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. but our physical health as well. even more importantly. Likewise. It can even be linked to suicide. hurt and unforgiveness. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. resentment. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. a German physician conducted with the help of 20.
that we are out of balance. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. pathogens. diet. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.specifically. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. but it is not. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. whole grains. such as genetics. exposure to toxic substances. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. white flour. Throughout this book you will find theories.net 35 . synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. In most cases of cancer. etc). Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. etc. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. vaccines. it prevents depression. In addition to nurturing your mind. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. seems somewhat contradictory.
While listening to your hypnotherapist. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. or an inability to let go and just relax. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. imagery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique.who have the ability to relax more fully. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Hypnosis can help you. but balance will return. So.net 36 . stress. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level.
garlic liberally. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. © Copyright 2003. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Fruits and vegetables and spices. turmeric. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. which as we know reduce inflammation. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties.net 37 . Healthy fats. FOCUS. aiming for 30 to 50 times. FEAR. The indigestible parts of fruits. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Fiber. Their phytonutrients . Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Drink more water. nuts. soy. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite.carotenoids in carrots. primary by reducing the inflammation. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly.F FABULOUS. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Increase your intake of fish. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. until the food becomes liquid. Eat the right foods. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. whole grains. safflower and vegetable oils. Chew properly. 2. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. try counting the chews in each bite.
Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. chemicals from manufacturing. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. chew. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. The solution: Sweat. Losing weight gradually . Our blood is what creates our cells. our skin. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Breathe. Detox is a relative term. Regular exercise should make you sweat. take deep breaths. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. 3. which creates less gas. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. But breathing is also effective. our organs. our hair. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day.) If under pressure at meals. 6. 5. but so will saunas and hot baths. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. Eat homemade food. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. As a matter of fact. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. our tissues. Detox. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. 4. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. Sweat – cleans up your system. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Any form of exercise helps.net 38 . Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. Pesticides. It relaxes and detoxifies your body.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. grains.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. fried foods. Have a home-made facial. you sure can laugh at one. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. fats. Have sex. Take the laughter yoga class. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Even if you can’t tell a joke. boost mood. our jobs. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. and improve overall health. 9. etc. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant.net 39 . improving your healthy well-being. focused. © Copyright 2003. relaxes your body. refined flours. I call it facial meditation.consists of slow. hydrogenated fats. Tai chi -moving meditation .journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. bread. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. meats. 10.it is delicious. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. 8. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. diary products. 7. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. our relationships. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Laugh.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. insomnia or lack of energy. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats.net 40 .com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. a short while. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. that one thing. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. though. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. mood swings. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. fear of failure. one thing seems to come up most frequently. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. or even worse.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. healthy and joyous life you want. fear of success. That one thing is FEAR. it keeps us from making a big mistake. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. what we expect. FEAR: fear of change.naturalcounselor. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We were told to grow up. © Copyright 2003. 2. Something that is important to you right now. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. the more connected we feel. as we grew older. As children we were free to play. the more vibrant and alive we become. we have chosen. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. When you have specific. afraid of disappointment. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. in order to be an adult. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. the world of adults. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Be honest.net 41 . instead. get out your list and read it again. career and health because you are afraid of failing. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. friends and lovers live this kind of life. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. we are afraid to dream. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. write down your goals and if you did write them down. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). relationships. If you haven’t done so already. for the most part. we were told to leave those dreams behind. pretend and let our imaginations soar. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. and grow up. Your goals must be your very own.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. and life just gets better and better. have a reasonably happy life. This is wrong. But. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be.
you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. parent. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. You know. Sometimes. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. 4. Use them. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Remember the Power of Affirmations. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. push yourself to ask for help now. When you say your affirmations out loud. Support can come in many forms: encouragement.net 42 . The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. doing something together.3. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. life coach or whomever and ask for support. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. 5. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. laughing. As an example. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. crying and so on. it’s hard to focus. breathing things. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. if your goal is to run a marathon. If you have not asked for support much in the past. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Focus. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. though. FOCUS Look around you. even though we would gladly give it if asked. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. a powerful tool. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes.
taste. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. It disables your emotional resources. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. our subconscious is able to do this for us. Luckily. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. forgive and accept forgiveness. you are bombarded with millions of message units. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. psychological imbalances. The subconscious processes everything.net 43 . FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. health. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. we can allow a past disturbance to surface.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. When we go through periods of stress. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. physical and emotional well-being. confront the situation as needed. negative or neutral to our mental. interpersonal and relationship problems. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. recorded on brain and body cells. smell and hearing. and its effects may be positive. whether asleep or awake. success and fulfillment. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. it still exists in our subconscious. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. affirmative statements. that release. Over time. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. This is commonly referred to as memory. touch. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. During the course of a day. though. sight. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. resentment or anger. © Copyright 2003. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis.
Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. existing situation. 3. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. fear and anxiety. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. Once learned. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. 5. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. laughter and perspiration. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Even when we sleep long hours. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. They are also © Copyright 2003. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis.net 44 . tears. 6. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. This not only applies to a current. 2. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. During the Releasing session. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. 4. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. anger. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator.
sadness. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. such as anger. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. “I release (relevant emotions. as a Soul. 8. etc. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. As people from all backgrounds. © Copyright 2003. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. and feeling great. disappointment. the brain is your biological computer. have learned. function as a computer operator.” 7. the Releaser is asked to state. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. once learned. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. can be done alone. including health care professionals and clergy. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself.). however.net 45 . the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. and your body and life are the printout.
thoughts and ideas. an activity or a thing. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. If you think about anger. not really happy. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. Each of us is already whole. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future.net 46 . it is a feeling and a condition of existence. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. “I don’t know what I want. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. You choose what you want in your life. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. A really simple way to test this theory is this. Not only in your own relationships. though. Conversely. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. Without goals. not only does life get depressing. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. This same principle works the same way for emotions. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. A state of being is not an emotion. whether it is an emotion. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. After you’ve done this.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. something that is crucial to goal setting. your current life situation. We find ourselves drifting along.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. if you think about a color. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. I don’t know about you. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. meaningful and exciting. Think of it as a game. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. a diversion to keep life interesting. Sometimes. fun. take the color blue for example.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. keeps us feeling alive. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. If you do this regularly. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. it would be a boring and scary world. responsible. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. simple Measurable. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. they will never be overwhelming. it just means you make an adjustment. doesn’t mean I can have him. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. But you can’t manifest everything you want.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. not if you want to improve your life. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. change is the whole point. © Copyright 2003. Adjustments are a good thing. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. Don’t forget about free will. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. sometime weekly.net 47 . He’s got free will just as we all do. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything.
set those goals. So. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. © Copyright 2003.net 48 . The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Remember.
Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. and help strengthen the immune system. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Ph.net 49 . This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. turning some functions on and others off. As David Spiegel. lower blood pressure. relieve depression and so much more. It can help relieve pain. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. © Copyright 2003. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. speed up healing after surgery. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes..H HEALING. Working from the inside out. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. by using specific. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). visualization and positive suggestions. imagery.D. releasing negative thoughts. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state.
During the operation. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. Arreed Barabasz. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”.net 50 . When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. The suggestions. soothing kind of treatment. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. empathic care provider and hypnosis. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. that’s because it is. in terms of levels of pain. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. and the third received standard care. though. © Copyright 2003.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. anxiety and the need for painkillers.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. Every 15 minutes.
a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years.net 51 .” Using imaging technology. A journey that you can now control. then the real fun can start. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. the hypnotized patients used less medication. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. On average.” says Spiegel. Spiegel and Lang found. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. involving more than 330 patients. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. In effect. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. realizing all the possibilities available to you. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. And this list goes on and on. the brain’s manager and planner. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. experienced less pain. psychologists say. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. Once again. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. which could account for heightened attention. While in the trance.” says Marc Schoen.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. If you think you are seeing color. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. you actually see it. “It’s not just a fantasy.
resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. tension and minor frustrations. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. though. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. unpleasant. fear. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. we each have to deal with something. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. When I say fuel. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hurt. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. stress. this spark can grow a little dim. As we each move through life. All life starts as a spark.jealously. Try it once and feel the results. Problems that we encounter every single day. resentment. Sometimes. Some little problem or some big problem. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. © Copyright 2003. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. rude or just plain nasty people. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. We have to cope with irritating. With a bit of practice. Each incident throughout the day affects us. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. My purpose is to help them remember. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on.net 52 . If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. hurt. you can do this exercise while awake. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book.
intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Some pleasant. you will feel refreshed. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible.net 53 . The more visual and real you make your goal. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. however. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. more positive thoughts. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. and much better about yourself. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. but the results will amaze and delight you. feel or react. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. relaxed. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. clarity. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. euphoria and control of your life again. © Copyright 2003. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. not only will you feel better immediately. If there is anything in your world. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. a professor of psychology at Harvard. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. As a result. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. Try hypnosis. anything at all about yourself. you create a vivid. comfort.” Using hypnosis. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. every message unit. According to Stephen Kosslyn.
More and more doctors as well as patients. etc.” Cheryl O’Neil. failure or success. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. Conversely. what we say to ourselves. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. Never. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. mend your ways. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. September 26. The brain is simply another organ in your body. create passionate relationships.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. fear or confidence. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. fixing a problem in one place. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. feel more loved. and change your life . build self-confidence. 2006. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Simply put. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. depressed © Copyright 2003. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. heal your body. boost your mood.cheryloneil. can often help the other. What we experience as feelings. good or bad. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected.is determined by the thoughts you think. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. As stated in Woman’s World. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. who I especially admire. www. once wrote.. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind.” What we think. However. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. Your ability to overcome obstacles.I IMAGERY.net 54 . you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Private & Group Coaching. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. You know that saying. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. Go with your first impression you get from each card. 98% of the time I am right. Abundance.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Another way I practice is with elevators.qualifiedlifecoach. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. “What we think about we bring about.net 58 . Motivation.com. Meditation. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. The fourth part is training your mind. Reiki. Self Esteem.com © Copyright 2003. You rise above thinking in mediation. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. Law of Attraction. use a deck of cards. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it.
You are angry. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. That’s the truth of love. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. succeed. projections. You want revenge.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. you may go into a rage. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. You feel violated. Often. and if so. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. If you can cool down. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. enjoy their life. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. and grow. delusions. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. no matter what that entails. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. You want to stop what you are feeling. envy.net 59 . It is essential to communicate clearly. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. You want to see them become more of who they are. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. in control of yourself and your partner. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be.
the jealousy resides within you. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. © Copyright 2003.net 60 . The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. If your relationship is based on Attachment. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. Jealousy is like an onion. you cannot make a person love you. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you cannot. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. not within the relationship. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. If you move inward and look at yourself. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. If you can do this. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. It does not. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. You can give yourself the gift.
really look and analyze them. guilt or anger. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. there is nothing to feel guilty about. envy. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Another layer can be guilt. Projection. the truth behind what you are feeling. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. This is projecting. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. The truth is that for most of us. This is natural and normal. We think that we should be able to rise above it. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. you can reach self-awareness. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Look at the reality. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. You do not own it. Going down to an even deeper layer. we find envy. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. It is their own. These all grow out of expectation. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. Look at your beliefs. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. This insight. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. NewBeginnings email@example.com 61 . this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Another layer is projection. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation.
You do not need to experience jealously. © Copyright 2003. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. then what you are experiencing is not love. but attachment. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. All sorts of self-doubt can surface.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. If you love someone. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. let that guide you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Once you release the anger. fear of not being worthy of love. the resentment and the hurt. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. Surrender to it. Hypnosis can help. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. you become yourself possessed. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. and let that be who you are. Perhaps you fear abandonment. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Fear of loss.net 62 . If you are experiencing jealously. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You can choose to move away from those feelings. frequently they are not real. You become vulnerable. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. they still don’t meet your expectations. By looking deep within. fear of being alone. look deep within yourself at these feelings. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. If you find yourself doing this. When you attempt to possess another person. Open your heart and mind to it. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. you can watch that love radiate out for all. When you love. our childhood. They come from our past. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships.
is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. or alternatively. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. There is no judgment involved. if you prefer. all of which determine our future. Just a thought. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. but generally the concept is basically the same. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Jain. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions.K KARMA.net 63 . Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Most people © Copyright 2003. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. present and future and because of this.
it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. saint or seer. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. participate and change the direction you are heading. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person.net 64 . Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. Fate implies no choice. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. If you are not satisfied with your life. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. prophet. In the Shang dynasty in China. As stated above. which is a huge component of the human psyche. In the belief systems of many cultures.associate Destiny with fate. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. fate and destiny are not the same. Step in. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. © Copyright 2003. but fate makes no allowance for free will.
“Let the chips fall where they may”. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. “What you think about will happen in your life. The old saying. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250.00 a year income. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative.net 65 . LOVE. is a good analogy. that can help you with exactly that. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. LIFE. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. © Copyright 2003. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. The concept of the law of attraction is.” It’s about where you put your focus.000. start by writing it down. For example. What ever it is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. etc. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. You have made it clear. Now the key here is to follow up with this. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. allowing it to happen is vital. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. talk to those people. pay attention. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. now grab it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you then attracted it. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. You asked for what you wanted. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. There is something there to be learned or gained. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. Now that you have set this up. I promise you it will show up. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. pay attention to what happens next. don’t panic. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it.net 66 .
Not only that. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. she said “You didn’t waste those years. Go to my web site for more information. The sooner we realize and accept that. It is never wasted and it is never lost. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. you used them to learn about yourself.in a different package.com. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. You never. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. maybe © Copyright 2003. So live your life. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. originally thought of. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. who has no idea that she is. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years.qualifiedlifecoach.” And I realized as she told me this. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. Individual Coaching. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. life is messy. that is the Universe telling you go….com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. Group Coaching. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 67 . tele-classes and resources are offered.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. She told him something I want to share with all of you. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. www. a very wise woman.
trust . healing. never have. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. dating. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. often including a desire to help. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. you are perfect. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. but yes.” When we talk about compassion. living this life to experience love. Definition: To pity. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. I was reminded recently. A noun. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”.net 68 . romance. v. t. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). The message really is that you need to be in love with you. all kinds of love. partnered. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. First. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. I know. compassion and faith. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. some which I like and others not so much. sex. com·pas·sion. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are.] Shak. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. I’m not sure why exactly. then. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. married or alone. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. [Obs.
places or events that you attract for one reason for another. and. Luck is a real. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. can start to love themselves as well. someone around you.K. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. lazy or self-indulgent. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. with all their faults. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. Instead of listening to that old record. that negative voice in your head. measurable phenomenon. in the process. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). then maybe. © Copyright 2003. those we live with. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. as well.Another thing that is so important to remember. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. My only question to your would be this. heal others and yourself.net 69 . just maybe those people whose lives we touch. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. work with or just come into contact with. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. nobody can make it for you. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. Give yourself a break. then someone else. one that you can get behind.
February 26. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. or even make the depression worse. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. (Harvard Medical School). and so do the ideal treatments. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. sex. 2007 article. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article.. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.net 70 . men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As Dr. MIND-BODY CONNECTION.M MALE DEPRESSION. the depression and the cause of that depression. M.D. but the underlying causes vary. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. This can make treatment especially difficult. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. “Depression may look like a single disease. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. Depression can manifest in many different forms. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. In the past. During the past 50 years.” Michael Craig Miller. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. certainly not for a real man. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak.e. with all these statistics facing us. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. And yet. In addition.
Woman’s World. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. There are detours that we must take.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. fear or anger that you are experiencing. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. however. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. Sometimes. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. Hallowell. With the aid of hypnotherapy. Using © Copyright 2003. bitterness. During the course of this journey and these detours. As I quote above. difficult and painful process. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. When you recognize that this is occurring. As Dr. guilt and depression. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment.net 71 . Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. without help. fear. smooth and without bumps or potholes. hurt.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. love and happiness beyond measure. Edward M. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger.D. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. the healing process. Working from the inside out. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. October 18. Ph. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. resentment. This is not easy. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. 2005. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. When this occurs. helping you regain strong mental-health. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. without wanting or meaning to. you take back control of your own life. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. Trying to accomplish this by yourself.. When you release the hurt.
000 brain scans. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hostility. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. can lead to serious food addictions.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. pathogens. alcoholism. drug abuse and depression. hurt.net 72 .” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Dr. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. a German physician. including diet. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. Holding onto anger. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. but our physical body as well. With the help of 20. Ryke Geerd Hamer. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. This has been proven by Dr. In addition. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. eating disorders. © Copyright 2003. meditation. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. resentment. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion.
but to your thoughts as well. It requires that you develop a success mind. keeping track of what is working and what is not. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. yoga can help. This is a way of thinking. In addition to nurturing your mind. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. and this applies to any negative emotion. Meditation works. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. white flour. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. whole grains.net 73 . emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Success is largely an inner game. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. more than just your emotional well being is at stake.D. vaccines. Believe me. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. etc). Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.exposure to toxic substances. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. anger is what you will bring into your life. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. etc. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Success is a process of continually learning new information. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. if you focus on anger. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. use it and use it frequently. I have been there and there is a way out. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. guide them in a positive direction. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. and © Copyright 2003. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Ph. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). thought or image. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases.
You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. conditioning. fear of failure. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. you simply need to start. fear of what other people will think. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. Gather new information. Take time to dream. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. fear of hard work. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear that we are not good enough. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. © Copyright 2003. and create new realities. Take action. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. make adjustments along the way. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. inventor. but also change the world. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. and failure. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. foster creativity.net 74 . hardship. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. if you talk to any star athlete. Yet. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. While success requires action. Develop a process to examine your fears. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. learn from your mistakes. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. exploring one more option or opportunity. or successful businessperson. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. You will have to change to be successful. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. This is one of the laws of success. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). the less we fear them. possibility is in the dreaming. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. Fear of change. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. see unlimited possibilities. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. The success mind trains itself to ask. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. and keep moving forward. generate new ideas.
make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. and success. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. create. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life.net 75 . Mental toughness. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. and grow. experience.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. As you do this. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. try on new perspectives. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. Remember. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. your feelings. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Not simply because you say yes. your world and your success. form opinions. adventure. you likely will feel fear. think. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. But once you say no to an opportunity. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. When you say yes. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. It is never too late to develop your success mind. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. Question. Your thoughts. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. You continue to grow. challenge. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. you will create even more opportunities for growth. your actions. The time to begin is now.
mediator. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Stop caring what other people think. happier. J. make corrections.D. © Copyright 2003.molliemarti. Visit her at www.com or www. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. and smart action. Ph. is President of Best Life Design.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. lawyer. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.D. directed...success and rewards your effort. Inc. and healthier lives. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible.net 76 .bestlifedesign. Dream big and take consistent. performance coach. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. redirect the effort. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. better. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Mollie Marti. engage again and refuse to quit.
NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). and interpersonal influence. Unfortunately. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. John Grinder. sales. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. management training. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. There is. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Frequently when NLP is mentioned.net 77 . Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). linguistics and computer science. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. Robert Dilts. However. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. however. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. © Copyright 2003. sports. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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remember that red not only represents life force. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. © Copyright 2003. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. use Yellow) money. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fire. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. health healing. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. Also. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Whether it makes us happy or sad. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. occurrence. You have the power to change your perception. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. activity. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. growth. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. think we are making progress or stagnating. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Use it for minor headaches. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to.net 81 . red would probably not be the best color to use.
Perception is a powerful thing. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. Take control. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. this power. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. Once you have faced your phobia. Relief is truly immediate. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Sometimes. By the time your therapist is done.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. But the results tend to be permanent. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. You are then taken back to the phobia again. It can be done in person and over the phone. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. it can make your life almost unbearable. control it and use it wisely. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. There are a variety of techniques that can be used.net 82 . you know how debilitating it can be to your life. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. Depending on the phobia. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. there will be no emotional response. © Copyright 2003. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Basically. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. though. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. After you are put into a hypnotic state. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. but it is not a gift at all. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. If you are suffering from a phobia. this is how it works. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy.
maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. fear of failure. © Copyright 2003. and not just money or things.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. prosperity includes a rich. thinking and dreaming. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. it may be necessary to make some changes. Mollie W. fulfillment and yes. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. fun. happiness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. you will enjoy them immensely. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams.net 83 . money as well. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. both written by Dr. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. and not just a lack of money or things. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Fear of change. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. even fear of success. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. In order to accomplish this. Marti. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. Frequently they are a result of fear. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. joyful and full life filled with love.
instead. space. and tangible. not the other way around. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. EPR Paradox. however. in addition. around us. as I started to research this a bit. they are all phenomena within the mind. because what was a mechanical. external universe. solid. standing as a physical world. taste. They exist within consciousness. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. In the dream it all seems very real. String Theory. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. utterly real. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. hear. © Copyright 2003. smell. M-Theory. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. We can see it. It appears undeniably to be out there. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. Unified Field Theory. touch it. Quantum Gravity. Grand Unified Theory. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. touch. and hear it. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. the Copenhagen Interpretation. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). in about three or four paragraphs! So. Loop Quantum Gravity. Superstring Theory. Time. Supersymmetry. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. Theory of Everything. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics.net 84 . All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. However real and external these images may seem. independent and apart from us. separate from us. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. Schroedinger’s Cat. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Cool. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.So. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. huh? So. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.net 85 . Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and there’s only one real way to do that.
fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. our behavior patterns. Unfortunately. In addition. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. cries or screams when upset. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. possibly even throws things when angry. read on. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. congratulations. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. However. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. First. how they can come apart. RELEASING.net 86 . the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. © Copyright 2003. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved.R RELATIONSHIPS. It is the physical who yells. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. These two distinct types. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. if you are not. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous.
they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. With the physical female. After all. When his partner complains that they never see each other. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. She on the other hand. is quite a bit different. then hobbies. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. This is natural. But let’s look into the future several months. When I say E&P attraction. For the physical. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in.net 87 . As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. And boy do they do relate. secure and © Copyright 2003. And that’s a good thing. So he starts spending more time at work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the relationship is of primary importance to her. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. She is happy. Next would be their children. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. what the priorities of each are. When they first meet. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. Let’s cover very briefly. on the other hand. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. I really do mean attraction. outgoing. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. To her partner it is his career. In relationships. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. Their first priority is their career. he cannot understand why. his career. The emotional. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. longer hours at the office.
Sometimes. When you understand how the other thinks. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to get clear on your goals for the future. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. Plenty. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. Remember. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. What can be done about this. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. fear and guilt. When we are healthy and balanced. Release anger. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. © Copyright 2003. though.net 88 . With communication you can understand each other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Interestingly enough. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. sadness. communication is key to any successful relationship. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. This is done through imagery and suggestion. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. The process is quick. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. releasing occurs naturally.
it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. That may been all you need at this time. If your subconscious is ready. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. body and emotions. Both techniques are effective. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. positive thoughts. use your downloadable sessions first. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. doubts. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away.net 89 . hurt. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. anger. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. and emotional states. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you.D. physical. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. fears. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Ph. process and recall information. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. unpredictability and lack of control. Negative expectations. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.
you are ready for it. in and of © Copyright 2003. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. each and every day. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. “It’s gray and cloudy. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. and in countless other interactions. You spend mental. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. taking in a deep breathe. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. build in ways to recoup your energy.net 90 . you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As you add them to your day. As you spend energy during the day. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. For example. Think and say.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. boring day. Rest is any activity. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. over the telephone. It’s going to be a gloomy. You give energy away to other people. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. reading a book. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. You wake up and your first thought might be. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. Many rituals are quite simple. make a choice to expect positive results. Rather. to your computer. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it.
Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. When you carry negative emotions like fear. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. and discarding the emotion. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. linking it with a unique physical action. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. fatigue. Influence Management: Before any performance. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. after working at your computer for an hour. which is pleasurable and restorative. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. You’ve © Copyright 2003. nervousness. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. anger. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. you are less able to concentrate on your task. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. rhythmic breathing. and anxiety. guilt.itself. For example. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. frustration.net 91 . After a 90-minute presentation. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk.
you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. A tangible engagement cue. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go.net 92 . . but when it came time to start. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. even if it is a good thing. can be viewed as a distraction. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. I image a red line on the floor. This leads to a less than stellar performance. it also had drifted off. Yet. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. She chose a cloud as her focal point. such as a doorframe. prior to a presentation or meeting. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. body and emotions that it is time to perform. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments.simply applied a band-aid. I “turn on” my full engagement. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. If you travel. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. As you travel or perform in different locations. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. Before you perform. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. a piece of art. If you are in your office or in a conference room. works well. As I cross the line. For example. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. consciously look at your focal point. Any time you get distracted. “OK. or a clock on the wall. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. back to my task. try to use the same type of focal point. you might choose a banner. © Copyright 2003. .
a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. they will provide great consistency. This means that if you get away from your rituals. performance coach. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. happier. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way.bestlifedesign. concentration. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. better. it won’t feel right. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. © Copyright 2003. alcohol. Visit her at www. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. A close companion is the use of stimulants. including caffeine and adrenaline. is President of Best Life Design. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.D. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. lawyer.. Ph. It will throw you off. Common ones are the misuse of drugs.com or www. As part of this process. successful entrepreneur. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. and success. Inc.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance.net 93 . Mollie Marti.molliemarti.. If you cannot identify your rituals. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. and healthier lives. J. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.D. mediator.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. apples.to be one of the first things that goes. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. salmon. sesame seeds. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. causing irritability and nervousness. garlic. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster.net 97 . Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. mustard greens. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. impatience. You need eat more avocados. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. worry. apricots. broccoli. etc. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. asparagus. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Almonds. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. fish. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. leafy vegetables. cabbage. Calcium rich foods are almonds. blood sugar fluctuations. © Copyright 2003. Calcium. Vitamin B12. depression. fear. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. seafood. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. bananas. such as hormonal imbalances. oats. kale. irritability. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. exhaustion. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. depression. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Vitamin B6. prunes. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. moodiness and nervousness. Unfortunately. brown rice. kelp. chronic fatigue. irritability. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
Bottom line though.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. tuna and whole grains. but if something happens to us. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. root vegetables (such as potatoes. legumes. our cortisol levels drop. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. a founder of NaturalCounselor.net 98 . A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. oatmeal. Foods rich in folate are asparagus.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. Kiss. Walk.naturalcounselor. carrots and turnips). our family? So let us be stress smart. Start squeezing something.com © Copyright 2003. though. Squeeze a squishy ball. such as a squishy ball. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Folic acid. to work away your tension. Sing. dates. brown rice. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. lentils. In addition. who will take care of our children. green leafy vegetables. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. mood swings. Call a friend. nobody will. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. mushrooms. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. you must relax. barley. oranges. insomnia or lack of energy. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. I know mine always have been). Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. salmon.
If you wake up today focusing on debt.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. a feeling. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. For example. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. According to the laws of physics. because you cannot stand still.net 99 . the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. I used to feel that way often. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. if you are having a problem with money. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). but to the energy of the present moment. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Energy is constantly in motion. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. If you understand that. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. If you wake up today affirming an illness. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. I know I have.
By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. our results suggest. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day.D. Ph.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery.” Ginandes says. really. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. can influence the body to heal itself. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Pain sufferers. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. You don’t have to create change. You need to make room for change. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Hypnosis. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better.D. In a pilot study published in 1999.. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. for most people. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. and elastic. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. It is only important that it does. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. smooth. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Ph. meanwhile.net 100 . it doesn’t matter why it works. During the sessions. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. the truth is.” So. © Copyright 2003.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. And. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. for example. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery.
But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Remember. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. for you happiness and your abundance. Take responsibility for your life and direction. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. look down on the Time Line. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. your love and your joy. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. to the left or to the right. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. Remember. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future.net 101 . When you have determined the directions of past and future. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. Take your time with this. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. © Copyright 2003. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There is no correct answers. it is what feels best for you. If it’s behind you. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past.
bad things just happen. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. Sometimes what you need. It can look that way to others. you stuck by the wrong person.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. you made a mistake. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. You procrastinated. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. It might not have looked that way to others. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light.net 102 . even if they cannot give it back. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. You need them to tell you to be strong. Without getting specific about each of them. © Copyright 2003. I’d like you to consider another alternative.
etc. another may practice Hinduism. 90. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life.net 103 . First. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. For example. you need to define what it is you want. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. while another may be a Wiccan. © Copyright 2003. Spirituality. 85. VICTIMHOOD. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whatever feels right. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Picture yourself at age 80.
Think about all the value areas of your life. church and society. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. If it is what you believe. Remember. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. are you really meant to be together. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. mugged or even raped. then your perception makes it right. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. However. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. Figure it out early. What areas cause you regret. Perhaps you are abused. What you might think is wrong. You might get angry. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. then you’ve got a problem. or even the perceptions of our family. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. © Copyright 2003. is you. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. but not only that. friends. you will certainly feel violated. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive.Now think back over your life. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. What value areas of your life are you happy with. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different.net 104 . Something very unpleasant.
Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. happiness and joy available to each of us. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. and society actually encourages this thought. etc. my mother didn’t give me enough love.I want you to consider something. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. etc. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. for what you do and what you say. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. Here in the U. etc. But now. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. my husband ignores me. And. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun.” But. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. But just take a moment now and really think about it. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. It wasn’t fun. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. my mother didn’t understand me.net 105 . it means you are not responsible for anything. A rather sad. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. my kids don’t show me any respect. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances.. my friends don’t understand me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power..S. my wife doesn’t understand me. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. however. Life.
net 106 . It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. Simply. eventually. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. For example. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. we lose everything. Fixing a problem in one place though. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use.who you are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If we take back control. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. it is the ability to enjoy life. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. please. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. boost your mood. can often help the other. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. etc. beautiful heart and so much love to give. Remember.. never © Copyright 2003. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. 2006. each of us. If that is taken away from us .” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. The woman who has come out of a nasty. As stated in Woman’s World. You had to be strong. is powerful beyond belief. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. bad relationship and can keep on going. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. September 26. feel more loved. build self-confidence. etc. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big.
If you are feeling down. increase your self-confidence. your imagination. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. Is essence. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. © Copyright 2003. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. can change how your feel. relieve pain. Use the power of your mind. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. depressed or negative.net 107 .
Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. Confusing. bleached flour.net 108 . however. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. the only diet that had ever worked for them. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight.) 3. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. included six small meals a day. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. before facts have actually been verified. refined. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003.e. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. scientists. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. etc. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. 4. The truth is. If. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.W WEIGHT. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously.. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. it’s good again. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. WORDS. Not only that. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. 5. diet and weight. First one. alcohol.
18. Do you eat breakfast? 15. Do you associate a person. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 19. 8. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 9. 17. Out of all the food you eat in a day. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. © Copyright 2003.6. 10. Has your mother. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 20.net 109 . 7.
but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. by working it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. they include abandonment issues.net 110 . It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. confidence and happiness. You had to be strong. having said all that. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. WRONG! Words have power. self-confidence. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. We heal from physical injuries. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. a lack of fulfillment. you know that as strange as it may sound. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions.Now. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. More often than not. satisfaction. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. survivors. Abuse victims. You know © Copyright 2003. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives.
And for each of us. husband. dreams and desires. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. your talent. Also. but not only that. NewBeginnings email@example.com 111 . subconsciously we © Copyright 2003.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Your life depends on it After all. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back.because I say it over and over again. Think and dream about your future. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. words can hurt you. I have to say this. But you are wrong. call out for help. someone will answer. throughout your life entire life. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. But most of all. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. keep your thoughts strong. Once said they are out there forever. The same holds true for what you hear. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. This is why “words” do have so much power. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. wife. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. scream and yell and swear all you want. lover. But when you are with someone you care about. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. wider and stronger each and every day. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. this planet needs you. As a matter of fact. And that’s what venting to another is. When this occurs. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. Vent when you are alone. intelligence and compassion. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. find out what you can do. Make some calls.
Releasing sessions can work well with these. If you can do this. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. can help. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. much like arthritis in wet weather. especially in interpersonal situations. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you.withdraw into ourselves. If you do not feel ready for that. or.net 112 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. © Copyright 2003. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. when things are going smoothly. However. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this.
energy. Whatever it is. vital. You have the opportunity to see a different future. vibrant. You can choose to live your life. very clearly. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. DRINKER.net 113 . binger or whatever. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. strong. drinker. the decision becomes easy. Notice how you feel. what is different and better. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. healthy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And now let those images fade completely away. the body you want. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. Notice what you see. Make a commitment and a decision. you have a decision to make. Wait 10-20 seconds. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. What do you look like. your energy will flow in that direction. Of these two possible futures in your life. clear skin. drinking. clear and easy breathing.X X SMOKER. Before you make that decision. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Wait 10-20 seconds. Once you decide that you want to quit. doesn’t it?. Make a promise to yourself. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. are you now sure which one you want. BINGER ETC. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. When you have done this. © Copyright 2003. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something.
Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. So. Compare it to strength training. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you always have a choice. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. your life script. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Everything in life is a choice. your entire belief system. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. happiness. For instance. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. joy. In making a choice. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. success. When you first begin to work your muscles. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. you can only lift a small amount of weight. © Copyright 2003. it does not mean you will receive it.com. you may never receive it. a better job. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post.net 114 .
It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. looking around. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are.net 115 .hollygleason. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. check it regularly. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be.According to Holly. check it out at www. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. © Copyright 2003. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org To me.
And always remember this.net 116 . cause. intensity and passion. cause. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fight for your dreams and your goals. it means a diligent enthusiasm. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. An antonym is apathy. or ideal and the determination to further that person. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. please do it with zeal and without apathy. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest.
ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” “gamut spot. While you are doing these three karate chops. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. © Copyright 2003. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.net 117 . it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. There are 15 points.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. To make this even more effective.” and the “sore spot. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. You can also visualize this word in your mind. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.
” © Copyright 2003. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. but do each issue separately. You can go through the tapping process several times. 6. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or anything you want changed. you can use just one or two words. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 5. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 12. 3. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use.net 118 . Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. This is not a sentence.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 11. or AFRAID. 8. 4. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. or DEPRESSED.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. Do what feels right for you. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 2. 9. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. 10. anxiety. 7. fear.
imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. As you do this. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. emotions. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. © Copyright 2003. I love myself. ideas and beliefs within yourself. you also release all negative thoughts. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. resentment or negativity away. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. By burning away all anger and negativity. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. And as your heart fire increases. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. And as your heart fire increases. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. uncross your arms and legs. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. your connection with yourself is complete. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart.” And that’s all there is to it. feelings. hurt. you open all pathways to love.net 119 .
smell it. anyplace. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. allow that color to flow in and out as well. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major.. days. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. heal yourself and relax yourself. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. Then when you are ready. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. Take yourself fully into this place. See it. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. If another color comes to mind. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. taking this time right now for myself.e. hours. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. hear it (i. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. smell the salt. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. like salt. see the image). and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind.net 120 . weeks. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. months or even years to be released. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. If you feel like it and have the time. at the beach. Then imagine or visualize white granules. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. cleansing breath in and let it out. hear the waves and the birds.
yourself. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. You are in control and in charge of your body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. thoughts and feelings. emotions. happy and having fun together. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”.net 121 . there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. relationship. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. © Copyright 2003. Here’s my snapshot. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. or whatever it is your desire. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. activity. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Let go of all tightness within you. my guy and I are in love.
I vibrate with positive energy. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. NewBeginnings email@example.com 122 . my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. © Copyright 2003. With my thoughts I create my new. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. I keep saying ranch until that image.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. positive delightful reality. live in the moment and dream in the future. I say to myself RANCH. I choose to forget past mistakes now.
.. 22.. 78 forgiveness.... 99........... 38. 70... 64. 74.. 3 Alzheimer’s . 101.......86 Circle Therapy ............. 3.........24........ 31.... 77.... 59..24.......... 122.. 116 disease. 102...... 46. 103. 32.2... 98. 109...... 126 adrenalin .. 78...... 121..... 77..... 48..... 90....Index 12-step programs .... 94....... 88.......... 60..... 97.. 42................ 103... 55 Dawn Abraham . 70................ 74... 77.. 81....125 anger . 6.. 52..... 97... 54..... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma..... 88... 7........ 30 Eric Butterworth . 60. 126...... 113.. 94. 2.... 21............... 72... 55.. 5.. 37.... 44....... 6......5...... 78.... 79........ 60.... 79 dream 1.... 104. 91........ 16. 44..... 94 baggage. 60. 71.... 106.... 130 epilepsy ..... 41............. 95...... 94......................... 89.... 21.. 102.... 43................ 78 affirmations... 105. 6.... 44. 97..... 19.... 105 darkest hour ... 38....... 35..... 12 Elvira Lang ..2.... 109....... 21.. 78 alternative programs ........ 6. 27. 41.. 63.. 5...... 67... 44.... 37..... 25........ 78......5.. 114.7... 104.............. 45.......30 anchor . 127.. 6...... 126.............. 24 eating disorders.107 abuse 5. 7... 119.......... 81...1. 129 food addictions..... 71... 6. 4. 127.............. 9.... 80. 46....... 37... 8.... 35....... 97. 91..30.......... 54.... 63...........21 Arreed Barabasz . 53.... 46... 112.... 96. 22. 21. 45. 106... 57.. 97.. 73 depression . 83.... 32.. 84..... 44..... 94... 130 apprehension...... 6.. 118 consciousness 8.. 124 drinking......... 104.... 75.. 76.. 129 alcoholism... 37.. 32.. 52. 96.... 32....... 104... 22.. 35. 119 confidence......D. 94. 31.... 1. 81....... 33.. 42..... 45. 58... 104... 81.... 129.... 121......... 36...... 27..... 76.... 92. 35... 125... 56....9............ 78. 10......... 20.. 119. 71.... 74............... 47. 60.. 103..... 35..... 5. 78... 78 cortisol .. 89.. 50... 38... 55 emotional freedom technique . 76............. 123..5.... 66.. 21 David Spiegel.. .. 63... 89 fear 1. 131 dreams 22. 20......54 association .121 blood sugar .. 34. 122 chronic anger ........ 6... 62. 57.. 35. 45. 78 E&P attraction ... 43... 71. 36... 35. 26.86 addict ... 61...... 117........... 102..... 2. 44. 79 cancer... 5.. 50... 5... 53.......... 7. 27... 94.. 52. 39.. 89..... 28..8 Adrian Calabrese...... 127. 63.... 116 Bereavement . 37.... 65.. 112 compassion ........ 114.. 114. 47. 114........... 43.........53.... 25............. 129 diet ....... 95 © Copyright 2003... 3 addiction . 26.. 23..38. 7 attraction .. 36. 113 Abraham Hicks .. 26.. 15. 87........... 84.. 3....... 30...... 8..... 22. 5. 86.. 76 desire... 10...7............ 78 chronic pain ... 110..... 35.. 37.... 80............ 21.. Ph. 78. 58.net i .. 36.. 19..... 72.. 33.. 48..... 7... 79....... 78 EFT ....... 97.... 125 energy ... 6. 30. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att....... 94....... 27.... 52... 4... 98................. 10 binging . 32. 38. Ph...... 46...88 clarity 9..2...... 121 drug abuse......... 38. 50. 130 focus.... 58... 93.. 106....... 128.... 39.....58 choice2........... ... 128 anxiety 7.3... 95. 43.. 31... 42. 90 coronary disease........ 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .... 4..................... 89 balance ... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ..... 116.... 24.... 32......... 44..... 37......5... 81....... 23.... 18. 14........ 23. 29.........2.. 95........D.......... 79 Carol Ginandes.. 55. 101...... 110 communication . 12. 28. 21............. 90...... 73... 21. 79........ 36... 56.. 47.. 118 acute pain......... 36.1... 76. 96. 47.. 114.... 21... 115.... 24.
net ii ..... 6. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ......84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .. 2... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .. 78...... 7.. 107 healing ... 43..32 illness 36. 121 relationships24... 122 Harvard .. 127............ 51.....7. 43..... 122 Ida Kendall . 19................... 59.......... 76...... 107......... 118.... 14.... 56 hurt.. 34......... 101 self-image ... 95................... 119. 8. 57. 78........ 130 Judith DeLozier ..... 88.... 39.... 21. 75...... 87 lose weight 4........ 60. 13...... 53.....5.. 22........ 56......... 83 overload ....... 23... 58...... 120 relaxation ......... 53... 30.............. 113... 53.......... 32......... 7..... 58................ 58.. 69......... 47.... 50....... 5.. 56... 65.... 105 Jane C.. 21. 45.. 58. 47.................. 44... 36.24 Journal of Clinical Psychology................... 4. 55.. 76..... 6.................. 78... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ........... 119. 39.. 56.... 13.. 83... 65.......... 109.. 109.... 43....... 85.. 79.... 113 prosperity .. 31..30 high blood pressure. 63.. 58....... 89 phobias..... 43............... 89. 60......... 22...83 John Kappas............ 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis...10................ 88. 94 mood swings ..... 34.............. 79..................... 54... 29 neuro pathways . 10. 35. 57.28 John Grinder .... 27...... 38...... 32 phobia .... 120. 22. 38................. 10..... 109.... 59.................. 21. 87...... 37........ 58. 10........ 86... 87.. 27. 53..9.. 16......9... 86.. 83 nitric oxide ......24.. 58.. 94....... 77......... 67........ 36......36 joy ........ 112....... 63... 8...... 110............. 47.... 52...... 78...... 57.... 116............ 129 resentment...... 89..10............ 59........ 59... 67..... 118 self-talk ......... 79.. 77.. 93... 79... 54.. 77.... 117 medicine..... 83 Roger Callahan ............... 6.......... 125 immune suppression . 64.. 54...... 127...76 Hridaya Yoga...... 109...35 goal .. 43.. 118 Gary Craig ........ 37....... 103. 9.. 110....... 42.... 1.. 37 powerless ... 92... 37... 118... 26.... 67. 84 panic attacks........ 57... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ..... 121 snapshot . 115 smoking.. 30 passive-aggressive ... 5......... 56.. 42.. 36 Guilt . 57....... 78...10.... 84..2........... 44....... 22... 105... 57... 6..... 37.. 64..40.... 54. 78 NLP....... 117.... 116 happiness ... 115... 101...................... 71 life force............. 5. 107.... 37......fulfillment . 78... 32..... 129 grief.... 99............. 120. 53............... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003... 77. 107...... 79..... 46. 7....... 5....... 125...... 58. 47.. 99....... 21............... 22. 3..... 125 men . 47....32 hypnotherapy .. 113.. 95. 128 Richard Bandler . 78............ 128.......... Woods ......83 Law of Attraction.. 15........ 122.....37........ 77.. 40..3. 6. 74.. 103...........7... 118... 56... 66....... 86..... 9... 77. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice. 33. 35. 94.... 114........................ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 78.5.. 37........ 77.......... 102. 77........... 79.... 110....... 43. 53..... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ....... 101.. 108 Parkinson’s disease...... 87... 129 heart disease... 79. 54..... 29.... 114 imagery ........... 89.......... 59.. 37. 46.. 30... 49.... 32. 29.. 127 hypersuggestible ...... 81....... 30.... 6 Pat Dennis.54 Irina Wardas . 17 Janet Luhrs...... 39......1.11........... 37.8 hypnosis .... 50.. 26............ 123.... 77........ 32.... 93 message units ..... 25. 78.... 10.... 42. 30... 6.... 111.... 77.. 47. 35................ 115..8........ 86 habits. 57 neural interconnections . 83 Robert Dilts....... 28... 37 self-esteem ........ 15. 38..12 habit .... 10..... 28.. 76...........
.. 84. 47........... 85.57 stress hormones ....... 109.... 57.. 114 visualization...... 77... 8.. 85..... 78 subconscious..... 21. 60. 48............. 128 subconsciously......... 10........ 37.................. 118................................ 114 triggering event ............. 112.. 6.......... 34.... 58.. 110 Two Futures .... 116 Women........83 Stephen Kosslyn ........... 46.. 77.........6........ 115.. 77....... 101.................... 121 value areas of life..Stephen Gilligan .. 34... 37.. 111 victimhood .5..................... 78...... 124 © Copyright 2003... 45. 79. 7.. 59................ 106 wounds . 22... 122 zeal. 30... 29.....53 transformation.. 65. 109 triggers ....................44........... 80.4... 95........ 47...... 56..... 2... 26. 113.. 122.. 79 thought habits ..................................... 94................. 120 yummy list ................ 36.. 39.. 7............ 5........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .........107 trigger....... 114 weight ..... 125. 6.. 75....... 37.................. 107......net iii ........... 120 suicide....... 38.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att... 44................... 43...... 59........ 78...... 95............ 5............ 91........ 6....... 30.. 109.... 77..