An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

emotions and perceptions. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. neuro pathways. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. feelings. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. . I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. As I said before.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. when given the proper instructions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses.

.... BEREAVEMENT .............................................................................. C...........................................................................................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...............8 CHANGE................................................. G...................................................34 ENERGY ........................................................................................................................ DIETING............................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE.....................8 BEREAVEMENT .............................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ..............................46 SMART GOALS ................21 DEPRESSION......................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE...................................... ANGER............... FORGIVENESS..............................................3 ANGER ............. ADDICTION................................46 B........................... EMOTIONS.............................. DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...............TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE....42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ................................ ....................................................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ..........................7 BALANCE...............................................................................................26 DIETING .40 FOCUS .......................43 GOALS ........................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...1 ADDICTION ......................................... AFFIRMATIONS..........5 ANXIETY ......26 DEPRESSION .....................................................35 FABULOUS.......................37 FEAR .............................................. ENERGY .............................18 COMMUNICATION ..............................8 BALANCE ..........................37 FABULOUS ....................... E..................................................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS............................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .. F.....................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)... ANXIETY........................................32 EMOTIONS.........................................................................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS.................................. FOCUS...........2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ............................................................................. D.......................... FEAR...............................................

...................................54 INTUITION..................................59 JEALOUSY.........................65 LIFE.78 PAIN..................63 KISMET .................H............................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ....................................84 I.................................... HEALING......................................................................................................................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ...............................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION...................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)................................82 PROSPERITY ................................................81 PHOBIAS ............. J..........56 JEALOUSY ............................................................................................................................. K........................... O...............72 MIND SUCCESS ...................................... PROSPERITY .........................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION......................49 HEART FIRE ..................................................................... PHOBIAS.... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.......................80 PERCEPTION ...................... L.......67 LOVE................... N.......................................................................................... LUCK ..63 KARMA .... PERCEPTION..................................................................................................49 HEALING ....................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)........................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION..........................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.........................68 LUCK ....................77 OVERLOAD................................................. HYPNOSIS.......................... LIFE.....78 OVERLOADED LIFE ................................................................54 IMAGERY......................................................................................................................................51 HYPNOSIS...83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ........ ......... M.....................................................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION......................... KISMET ............................................................................................................. LOVE..............................................................52 IMAGERY.... Q...........................80 PAIN.............................................................59 KARMA.................................. INTUITION............ P............. MIND SUCCESS .................

..... BINGER ETC ......................................................................................................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ............................................................ STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).. V.................... W........................................108 WEIGHT .....................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ....................................122 INDEX .................................................................................................... Y............94 SELF CONFIDENCE............................................................................... STUCK ...........................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.....................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.....................................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ... DRINKER......................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE.94 SELF-TALK............................................................ EXERCISES ........99 TIMELINE THERAPY ...........................................................................................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ....................................................... X.....................111 X SMOKER.......103 VICTIMHOOD ......................................... SELF-TALK........................................................103 VALUE AREAS........................... VISUALIZATION......102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE..........110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)....................................................................................116 S................ ii........................................................................ RELEASING......... WORDS................ i..........96 STUCK ...R...............................................114 ZEAL ... iii ........................................................................................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS.......................................... WOUNDS .... VICTIMHOOD........................ U........................108 WORDS.......................... RELATIONSHIPS....................86 RELATIONSHIPS ................................................................113 TWO FUTURES .........106 WEIGHT.................. T...............................................................94 STRESS .......................................... YUMMY LIST ...................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...... Z....................................................104 VISUALIZATION ............86 RELEASING ..................................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.............

your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. satisfying. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. indeed. a life that is rich and full. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. usually as a result of fear. money and success.A ABUNDANCE. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however. fear of failure. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. fear of success. As a result. Fear of change. incident. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. we don’t trust it to be real. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. It is our perception of any event. it is filled with laughter. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. Because of this. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. ANGER. The 1 . In order to make changes. excitement and yes. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. AFFIRMATIONS. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. Even when we know we have this tool. think we are making progress or stagnating. occurrence. love. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. © Copyright 2003. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. even worse. ADDICTION. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it.

The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. the more connected you feel. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. cocaine. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. i. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. who you can call when you feel you might slip. you do have a choice. at least while they are using their drug. so. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. and life just gets better and 2 . Unfortunately. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. however. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. Allow that desire to flow through you.e. helps them suppress the pain. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results.. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. A tempo that is magnetic. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. at least for a while. the more vibrant and alive you become. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. however. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. It is important though. no matter what program you are going through. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. People without strong desires slowly whither away. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. Your first step. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. alcohol. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you.

You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. The sooner we realize and accept that. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.secularsobriety. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. the addict. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their www. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. then you.habitdoc. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. you will forever remain an addict. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone.passagesmalibu. A friend of mine once told www. 3 . However. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. I agree with this school of thought. if it is not done. but you don’t have to. so. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. NewBeginnings www. When you face this pain that you have been running from.practicalrecovery. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. though. Many people. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.

” • State your affirmations in the positive. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you.” Or “I will lose weight. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. when what you really mean is. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. not what you want to avoid. your computer. Don’t let fear hold you back. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. the steering wheel of your car. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. Always create an image of what you want in your life. When you do this. then that means you are on the right track. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. always focus on what you want to move towards. If necessary.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. that’s like moving uphill. When you move towards what you want. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. • Be specific. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. 4 . • Always remember this. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again.” Or say. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” the message sent to your mind. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. © Copyright 2003. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.

resentment. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. hostility. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. hurt. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. Holding onto anger. So. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. fatigue. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. can lead to serious food addictions. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. then anger becomes a serious health risk. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. it can be just as damaging. cold hands. looking for justice and revenge. In addition. In situations that cause fear. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. along with mourning. and in small doses can be a good thing. Even if we bury anger deep inside. you may blame others for your situation or condition. When a relationship ends. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. you may see yourself as an avenger. When this is the case. If you see yourself as a victim. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. alcoholism. crying. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. anger is the most common response. eating disorders. But some people seem to be angry all the time. shaking. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. The same thing applies to guilt and 5 . Not only is this destructive to you. and heart palpitations. going from one trauma to the next. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. drug abuse and depression. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem.

many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. Remember. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Unfortunately. it will never go 6 . You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. and stubborn. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. Also. cancer. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. coronary disease. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. sarcastic. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). If you feel powerless. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. but anger that may be directed at you by others. however. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. bitterness. releasing your anger. and can help make you more content. Power and anger are frequently related. and can lead to serious food addictions. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. expressing your anger in an indirect way. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. © Copyright 2003. In the past. alcohol and drug abuse. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. and depression. and even increased workplace injuries. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. suicide. fear and hurt. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression.

shakiness. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. fear or anxiety. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. driving a car. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. nausea. flying. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological 7 . Fears. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. weakness. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol.). etc. being home alone. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. Also. anxiety. fear or anxiety. © Copyright 2003. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. mood swings.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. place or thing that can make you happy. Twelve hours of day and night. it didn’t work. Happiness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that happiness must come from within ourselves. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. Sometimes we need reminders. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. I told him the usual stuff. then he’d really truly be happy. you know. No matter what you hear. let them be a reminder to look inside. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy.B BALANCE. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Just think about that a moment. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. There isn’t another person. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. a perfect balance. Good 8 . He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. right? Yes and no. No one can tell you how to be happy. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. The problem was. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. getting involved with a church. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. then it would make him happy as well. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003.

working for you. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. stop thinking it to death. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. job or whatever you are seeking. Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. Whether it’s an emotion. our voice. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. But even more than that. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. lover. even the words we use. goal. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. and in doing so. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Woods. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. jane@changingpeople. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. happiness. It will. That means stop analyzing everything so much. to balance the light and dark within yourself. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take 9 . BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. the right kind of suggestions. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. if we are angry. fulfillment and life find you. they allow the subconscious to grow sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. They allow you to clear out the old. In this state. No matter how hard we may try. You are able to access your subconscious. desire. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has.

However. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. To a degree that can be true. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality.the intensity and duration may differ. It is an immutable part of the human 10 . for example. and so on. and generally we prefer not to think about it. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. That said. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. © Copyright 2003. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. just a little. letting relevant people know.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. you must do what is right for you. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved.

Help them tell you their feelings. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. For example. Guilt is a common reaction to loss.Denial A second common response. We may need evidence. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. when they are breaking bad news to patients. © Copyright 2003. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. and just plain wrong. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. or for feeling angry. we may need to be told several times. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. or those suffering alongside us. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. It is unrealistic but again. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Often that is enough. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. we may be compelled to visit the scene. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Some enlightened doctors know. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is where someone less involved can offer help. recognizing it and naming it. once the first shock waves have abated. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. a normal 11 . Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. is a refusal to believe the news. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. disconcertingly. uncaring. “If I do this.

but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. Once it is written you may decide just to burn 12 . At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. how to manage our grief. and even our clothing. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. You cannot short circuit this process.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. like fundraising for a particular charity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. was decreed. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. I have lost someone significant in my life’. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. even perhaps depressed. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. For example. just let it go. when our behaviour.

and this will of course vary from person to person. however it feels. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. be it with a handshake or a hug.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. Let close friends offer you comfort. feeling there is no point. in this phase. such as excessive use of alcohol. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you need a hug. However hard it is. People want to help but they often don’t know how. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. But actually. we begin to move on. which can be a comfort. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. you never go right back to the beginning. ask them. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. © Copyright 2003. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. You may find. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. not in any sense. Experiment At some point. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. we experiment with new ways of behaving. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. This does not mean forgetting them. So. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself 13 .

Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. If you can.” © Copyright 2003. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Of course. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Again. Make your peace with that and all will be well. or an offer of help with the shopping. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. surrounded by people. Knowing this can help you plan for it. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. Literally.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong 14 . or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. be it taking some homemade food round. ritual can be helpful at this time. take medical advice. Helping In Western culture. I hope it has been helpful however. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. whether for you personally. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. taking flowers to an appropriate place. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. as I have said. so we need to use our discretion. a card sincerely written. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. be it lighting candle.

depending on the severity of the change. Some people embrace change and some resist it.C CHANGE. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. Sometimes. jane@changingpeople. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. Finally. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. even depressed. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart 15 . though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. and some simply telling you how to do it. we can get very fed up. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. Sometimes. depending on the change. some research In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . almost no one likes it. some anecdotal. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Just remember this. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. Woods. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly.

“What?” you say. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. You are feeling bright and chirpy. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. You are speechless at first. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. Worse. A Story Here is a short story about change. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. It may ring a bell with you. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. © Copyright 2003. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. However.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. Finding they 16 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. vulnerable. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. did it make you sad. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.But then. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. or determined to make more effort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. yes. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. So. For example. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. That is a fact to record on the top line.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. no one but you is going to see this. and. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. Use two different colours if you like. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than 17 . For example. angry. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. joy of joys.. don’t just focus on the negatives. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house.

The same principle applies to you. as the dawn progresses. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. our responses to change are individual and personal. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. our thoughts. Obviously. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. For example. At first. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. Actually. One may approach it in a positive way. Dawns. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of 18 . As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. no one makes us feel anything. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. But as the sun rises. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. however. However.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. and therefore our feelings. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. another to frown and feel aggrieved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. overloaded message units and repressed fears. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. Sometimes. while another may be much more fatalistic. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. © Copyright 2003. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. They begin almost imperceptibly. Then. are funny things. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. Similarly with our responses to change.

your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. When this happens. detailed imprint of what you desire. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. Ultimately. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. confused or fearful. even our physical health and well being. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. need or want. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you.anxiety and emotions. you start to believe it yourself. you are in essence training your mind. relaxation. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. inept. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Unfortunately. Be absolutely clear about what you want. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. For example. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. given enough time and repetition. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk).net 19 . They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. however. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. see the right path. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. © Copyright 2003. remember “dawn” can and will happen. but will actually consider them an order. clumsy. you do not need to feel this way. Giving you the feeling of freedom. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. confidence. apprehension and fear. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. If you are starting to feel anxious.

happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would 20 . then the real fun can start. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. confidence and trust. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. so. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. it is a journey. with clarity. Trust that the Universe has. And know that when you make choices that express the real you.achieving prosperity. all of your life. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. It does make a difference. you are actually living the life you want.” So live your life fully. you always have a choice. As Abraham Lincoln once said. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. mold them and do it over and over again. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. You will feel stronger. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. does and will continue to offer you what you need.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. yoga. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. It’s the life in your years. Guide them. abundance. you need to be aware. in addition. want and desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. If you want a New Beginning. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. Know that no matter what things might look like. realizing all the possibilities available to you.

dolphins . courage. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant 21 . Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. The problem is that we communicate differently. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. It is important not to go looking for your sign. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. our answers are all around us. look and listen.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. I truly believe that faith. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. yellow balloon. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. © Copyright 2003. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen.knowing. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. engage and listen.

they will answer yes or no. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. possibly even throws things when angry. © Copyright 2003. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. So.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. screams. however. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. enjoys spur of the moment activities. whatever when 22 . It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. opposites really do attract. people don’t realize just how true this is. how they can come apart. the way we communicate with each other. cries. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. First. and how natural and normal this is. among other things. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. it isn’t. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. These two types. In relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. but E&P affects. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. Communication. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. is so much more than simple questions. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. It is the physical who yells. An example would be. if you ask a physical if they are cold.

You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. the more the physical pushes. You had to be strong. Conversely. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. Words have power. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive 23 . Also. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. We heal from physical injuries. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. you can see how this could be problematic. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. © Copyright 2003. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. It becomes a vicious circle. they can ruin lives. This E&P communication. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. however is just one part of communication. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Remember though.The same thing occurs when communicating. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. Since we tend to project our thoughts. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. self-confidence. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say.

bad relationship and can keep on going. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Think and dream about your future. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. But most of all. Your life depends on it After all. As a matter of fact. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. this planet needs you. This is why “words” do have so much power.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. throughout your life entire life. The woman who has come out of a nasty. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. but not only that. You know because I say it over and over again. is powerful beyond belief. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. wider and stronger each and every day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. your talent. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. Also. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. by working it. beautiful heart and so much love to give. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. each of us. find out what you can do. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. © Copyright 2003. But you are wrong.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. dreams and desires. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Make some calls. someone will answer. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. The same holds true for what you hear. keep your thoughts strong. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. intelligence and compassion. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is 24 . If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. call out for help. leave. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away.

please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Vent when you are alone. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification.Each of us. words can destroy you. And that’s really what venting to another person is. © Copyright 2003. our child. words can hurt you. But when you are with someone you care about. scream and yell and swear all you want. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. Once said they are out there forever. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. 25 . husband.

even into very advanced old age. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. According to Dr. suicidal feelings. if we want is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. AND -. Miller goes on to stress.D DEPRESSION. conditions and illnesses. In fact. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . patients will receive treatment based on genetic is created. if this work fulfills its potential. No one is born with such a brain -. Researchers like 26 . but in essence they are just like any other habit. According to Dr. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. however. In addition. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. Dr. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. thought patterns and thought habits. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. sleep problems and/or exhaustion.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. and just like any other habit. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. DIETING. depression. Jill Ammon-Wexler. As research continues in this area.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. © Copyright 2003.

This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy.use it or lose it. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. even more importantly. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. © Copyright 2003. what we say to ourselves. Think about that a moment. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. I just want to be happy.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. “disappointed in my relationships”.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. “unhappy”. What we think. though. healthy muscles. What it does understand. I don’t want to be around negative 27 . But if you engage in regular mental workouts. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. etc. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. fulfilled life. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly.

with the aid of hypnosis. epilepsy. it will continue to go on. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. Bruce Cohen. 2005. Take responsibility for your thoughts.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. including cancer. Fixing one problem can often help the other. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. heart disease. Massachusetts. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. 100 times more. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. Ph. When you can take a truth and internalize it. is originating on a deeper. Parkinson’s disease. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. October 18. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. stroke and Alzheimer’s.D. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. subconscious level. reflect on the contrary. When there is negative thinking. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. on a subconscious level.” observes Dr. Pay attention to what you are thinking.. whether it is physical or emotional. Woman’s World. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. 28 . many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Reflect on the positive. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed.

you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. especially in the United States. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. people. sometimes to death. now again we are hearing. Chocolate was bad for you. is bad for you. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. © Copyright 2003. we just don’t want to do it. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. then we were told maybe it isn’t. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. The truth is. First we were told that fat. We all know the difference between bad and good 29 . particularly among our young people. Part of one study. When most of us think about diet and weight. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). the second diet was only three meals a day. The first diet included six small meals a day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard).DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. it seems as if all the doctors. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. never a comparison with all the other studies. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. we are really only getting part of the story. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. diet and weight. any kind of fat. test or theory. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. but in addition. especially our young women. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. and these are serious issues indeed. and of course. Confusing. And throughout all of it. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. according to the New York Times. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight.

Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. satisfaction. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. by taking control of our thoughts. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. Just as with any weight. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. just how can we overcome these physical cravings.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. With the internet available to all of us. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. © Copyright 2003. Releasing negative thoughts. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. Knowledge is indeed power. weight issues are rarely just about weight. it can include abandonment issues. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. In fact. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. As we live our lives. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. both emotional and physical. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. one of the first things I tell them 30 . confidence or happiness. a lack of fulfillment. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. and getting the right kind of support and advice. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. 31 . I keep going back to this one phrase. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. You can continue the work on your own. what does your world look like. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. in fact. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. what do you see. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. what do you think about. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. Look at yourself. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. that we keep going back to it. If you don’t like it. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. though just an though is not just about external fact. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. i. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves.Knowledge. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. take control of your thoughts and change your life. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. observe how you feel. fear. This is. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. © Copyright 2003. So wonderful. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse.

fear. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. any negative experience. has no value of its own. posttraumatic stress disorder. depression. a negative experience itself. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. anxiety. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. © Copyright 2003. ENERGY. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. addictions and 32 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anger. EMOTIONS. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. Not a hypothetical path. including depression. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. As I’ve written before.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). general stress. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture.

EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or 33 . the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. and more importantly. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. war trauma or severe physical illness. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. As stated earlier. Remember. to addiction. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. With regard to addictions. emptiness and anxiety. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. do not use self-hypnosis. deprivation.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. With or without hypnosis. understanding the negative experience is not enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. EFT can help with both the cravings. weight loss to pain and illness. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. In addition. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. © Copyright 2003. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions.

It can even be linked to suicide. hurt. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. hostility. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. For example. One such study by 34 . One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. resentment. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. meditation. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. hurt and unforgiveness. Ryke Geerd Hamer. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. accidents and increased workplace injuries. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. By forgiving. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Likewise. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. even more importantly. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. but our physical health as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health.

The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. vaccines. but it is not.specifically. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). whole grains. such as genetics. In most cases of cancer. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. etc. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. it prevents depression. diet. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. seems somewhat contradictory. that we are out of balance. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. exposure to toxic substances. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and 35 . fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. etc). Throughout this book you will find theories. pathogens. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. white flour. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. In addition to nurturing your mind. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but balance will return. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. stress. your mind and body relax more and more 36 . opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. While listening to your hypnotherapist.who have the ability to relax more fully. imagery. So. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. © Copyright 2003. or an inability to let go and just relax. Hypnosis can help you. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique.

aiming for 30 to 50 times. FEAR. 37 . try counting the chews in each bite. Their phytonutrients . To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. nuts. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. garlic liberally. Fruits and vegetables and spices. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. Fiber. soy. The indigestible parts of fruits. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. whole grains. Increase your intake of fish. safflower and vegetable oils. turmeric. Healthy fats.carotenoids in carrots. Chew properly. Drink more water. which as we know reduce inflammation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. FOCUS.F FABULOUS. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. primary by reducing the inflammation. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Eat the right foods. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. © Copyright 2003. until the food becomes liquid. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality.

our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. which creates less gas. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Breathe. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. The solution: Sweat. take deep breaths. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the 38 . and let the simple act of chewing relax you. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. but so will saunas and hot baths. Eat homemade food. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Our blood is what creates our cells.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Detox. Detox is a relative term. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Sweat – cleans up your system. chemicals from manufacturing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Losing weight gradually . our organs. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. Regular exercise should make you sweat. our skin. Any form of exercise helps.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. chew. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. But breathing is also effective. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. 5. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. Pesticides. 4. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. As a matter of fact. our tissues. 3. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. 6. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat.) If under pressure at meals. our hair. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. our brains and our thoughts and feelings.

releases ‘happy’ chemicals. Have a home-made facial. Even if you can’t tell a joke.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. hydrogenated fats. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. improving your healthy well-being. and improve overall health. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. 8. fried foods. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. Tai chi -moving meditation . focused. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. Have sex. etc. our relationships. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. you sure can laugh at one. grains. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten is delicious. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes .net 39 . We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . bread. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. fats. relaxes your body. meats.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. © Copyright 2003. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. I call it facial meditation. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. refined flours. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. diary products. 9.consists of slow. 10. boost mood. Take the laughter yoga class. 7. our jobs. Laugh.

fear of failure. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite.naturalcounselor. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. what we expect. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. or even worse. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. fear of success. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. though. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and 40 . That one thing is FEAR. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. that one thing. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. one thing seems to come up most frequently. mood swings. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. healthy and joyous life you want. FEAR: fear of change. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. a short while. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. it keeps us from making a big mistake. insomnia or lack of energy. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia.

have a reasonably happy life. © Copyright 2003. This is wrong. we were told to leave those dreams behind. We were told to grow up. and life just gets better and better. But. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. afraid of disappointment. career and health because you are afraid of failing. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Your goals must be your very own. friends and lovers live this kind of life. People without strong desires slowly whither away. write down your goals and if you did write them down. and grow up.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. instead. as we grew older. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Be honest. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. 2. we are afraid to dream. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. in order to be an adult. get out your list and read it again. the more connected we feel. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. pretend and let our imaginations soar. for the most part. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). As children we were free to play. the world of adults. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. If you haven’t done so already. the more vibrant and alive we become. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. we have chosen. Something that is important to you right now. When you have specific.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen 41 . We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. relationships. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious.

or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. doing something together. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. FOCUS Look around you. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. laughing. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. When you say your affirmations out loud. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. 5. 4. it’s hard to focus. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Use them. parent. Focus.3. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. You know. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. crying and so on. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. if your goal is to run a marathon. breathing things. push yourself to ask for help now. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. life coach or whomever and ask for support. If you have not asked for support much in the past. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. Sometimes. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. even though we would gladly give it if asked. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from 42 . As an example. a powerful tool. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out.

touch. though. though. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. negative or neutral to our mental. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. that release.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. Luckily. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. sight. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. our subconscious is able to do this for us. it still exists in our subconscious. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. It disables your emotional resources. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. and its effects may be positive. you are bombarded with millions of message units. affirmative statements. smell and hearing. whether asleep or awake. physical and emotional well-being. forgive and accept forgiveness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. © Copyright 2003. During the course of a day. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. When we go through periods of stress. The subconscious processes 43 . recorded on brain and body cells. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. resentment or anger. psychological imbalances. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. interpersonal and relationship problems. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. Over time. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. success and fulfillment. we can allow a past disturbance to surface.taste. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. health. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. confront the situation as needed. This is commonly referred to as memory. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning.

Once learned. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. 5. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. 6. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. fear and anxiety. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. This not only applies to a current. tears. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. Even when we sleep long hours. laughter and perspiration. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They are also © Copyright 44 . which frees the Releaser from old patterns. existing situation. 3. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. anger. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. 4. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. 2. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. During the Releasing session. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0.

have learned. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself.).net 45 . including health care professionals and clergy. 8. once learned. can be done alone. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. disappointment. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. and your body and life are the printout. As people from all backgrounds. the Releaser is asked to state. function as a computer operator.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. the brain is your biological computer. such as anger. and feeling great. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. as a Soul. “I release (relevant emotions. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. however. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. sadness. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis.” 7. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. © Copyright 2003.

thoughts and ideas. if you think about a color. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. something that is crucial to goal setting. not really happy. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. an activity or a thing. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. This same principle works the same way for emotions. Think of it as a game. not only does life get depressing. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. Without goals.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. If you think about anger. though. We find ourselves drifting along. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. Each of us is already whole. A state of being is not an emotion. “I don’t know what I want. whether it is an emotion. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. take the color blue for example. a diversion to keep life interesting. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. Conversely. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. I don’t know about you. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we 46 . it is a feeling and a condition of existence. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. Not only in your own relationships. After you’ve done this. fun. meaningful and exciting. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. Sometimes. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. You choose what you want in your life. A really simple way to test this theory is this. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. your current life situation. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world.

meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). not if you want to improve your life. simple Measurable. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. keeps us feeling alive. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. doesn’t mean I can have him. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. responsible. Don’t forget about free will. © Copyright 2003. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. change is the whole point. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. it would be a boring and scary world. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. But you can’t manifest everything you want. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. it just means you make an 47 . • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. Adjustments are a good thing. He’s got free will just as we all do. If you do this regularly. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. sometime weekly. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. they will never be overwhelming. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do.

by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. set those goals. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.Remember. © Copyright 2003. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are 48 . So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.

showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper 49 . turning some functions on and others off. speed up healing after surgery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. by using specific. © Copyright 2003. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. Ph. In a pilot study published in 1999. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. visualization and positive suggestions. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. As David Spiegel. imagery.. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). and help strengthen the immune system. releasing negative thoughts. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. relieve depression and so much more. Working from the inside out. lower blood pressure. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine.D. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. aid with gastrointestinal ailments.H HEALING. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. It can help relieve pain. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing.

patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. Arreed Barabasz. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. that’s because it is. soothing kind of treatment. and the third received standard care. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. anxiety and the need for painkillers. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. though. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. © Copyright 2003. During the operation. in terms of levels of pain. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical 50 . Every 15 minutes. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. empathic care provider and hypnosis. The suggestions. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.

and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. Once again. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. On average. then the real fun can start. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. experienced less pain. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. realizing all the possibilities available to you. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. the brain’s manager and planner. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. which could account for heightened attention. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. you actually see it. While it is particularly effective in removing 51 . In effect.” says Marc Schoen.” says Spiegel.” Using imaging technology. And this list goes on and on. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. “It’s not just a fantasy. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. involving more than 330 patients. the hypnotized patients used less medication. psychologists say. If you think you are seeing color. A journey that you can now control. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. Spiegel and Lang found. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. While in the trance. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years.

Sometimes. When I say fuel. stress. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resentment. Some little problem or some big problem. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. As we each move through life. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. Each incident throughout the day affects us. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Try it once and feel the results. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. rude or just plain nasty people. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. tension and minor frustrations. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. you can do this exercise while awake. we each have to deal with something. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. this spark can grow a little dim. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. unpleasant. All life starts as a spark. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life.jealously. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. It’s all right there inside their 52 . If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. We have to cope with irritating. My purpose is to help them remember. fear. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. With a bit of practice. though. © Copyright 2003. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. hurt. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. Problems that we encounter every single day. hurt.

your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. you will feel refreshed. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. As a result. and much better about yourself. According to Stephen Kosslyn. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. anything at all about yourself. but the results will amaze and delight you. clarity. Some pleasant. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. not only will you feel better 53 . intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. feel or react. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. © Copyright 2003. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. more positive thoughts. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. euphoria and control of your life again. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. If there is anything in your world. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. Try hypnosis. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. every message unit. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery.” Using hypnosis. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. however. comfort. relaxed. The more visual and real you make your goal. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. a professor of psychology at Harvard. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. you create a vivid. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal.

www.I IMAGERY. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. What we experience as feelings. Your ability to overcome obstacles.” Cheryl O’Neil. September 26. However. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. etc.. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. The brain is simply another organ in your body.” What we think. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. As stated in Woman’s World. heal your body. failure or success. etc. and change your life . boost your mood. Simply put. Conversely. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. fixing a problem in one place. who I especially admire. 2006. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. fear or confidence. can often help the other. create passionate relationships. mend your ways. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to 54 .is determined by the thoughts you think. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking.cheryloneil. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. what we say to Cheryl is talking about imagery. More and more doctors as well as patients. once wrote. build self-confidence. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. feel more loved. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. depressed © Copyright 2003. good or bad. Never.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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You rise above thinking in mediation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. “What we think about we bring about.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Another way I practice is with elevators.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to 58 . Meditation. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests.qualifiedlifecoach. Abundance. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and © Copyright 2003. Motivation. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. You know that saying. Reiki. The fourth part is training your mind. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at use a deck of cards. Go with your first impression you get from each card. 98% of the time I am right. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Private & Group Coaching. Law of Attraction. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. Self Esteem. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money.

That’s the truth of love. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. You are angry. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. Often. succeed. projections. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. It is essential to communicate 59 . You want revenge. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. You want to see them become more of who they are. in control of yourself and your partner. enjoy their life. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. If you can cool down. You want to stop what you are feeling.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. You feel violated. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. and grow. envy. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. no matter what that entails. you may go into a rage. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. and if so. delusions.

the jealousy resides within you. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. If you can do this. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. Jealousy is like an onion. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. If you move inward and look at yourself. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you cannot. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. © Copyright 2003. not within the relationship. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. You can give yourself the gift. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. It does not. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. If your relationship is based on Attachment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you cannot make a person love 60 . the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture.

These all grow out of expectation. Look at your beliefs. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Projection. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. By peeling away the layers of your jealously.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. This is natural and normal. We think that we should be able to rise above it. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. envy. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. there is nothing to feel guilty about. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. guilt or anger. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. really look and analyze them. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. The truth is that for most of us. the truth behind what you are feeling. Another layer can be guilt. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. we find envy. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It is their own. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. This insight. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Look at the reality. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. you can reach self-awareness. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Going down to an even deeper layer. Another layer is projection. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. You do not own it. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. This is 61 .

You do not need to experience jealously. then what you are experiencing is not love. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. Surrender to it. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. When you love. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. fear of not being worthy of love. you can watch that love radiate out for all. they still don’t meet your expectations. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. Perhaps you fear abandonment. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. the resentment and the hurt. but attachment. Fear of 62 . and let that be who you are. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. you become yourself possessed. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. If you find yourself doing this. frequently they are not real. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. Hypnosis can help. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. look deep within yourself at these feelings. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. If you love someone. When you attempt to possess another person. You can choose to move away from those feelings. You become vulnerable. If you are experiencing jealously. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. fear of being alone. By looking deep within. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. © Copyright 2003. Once you release the anger. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. let that guide you. They come from our past. Open your heart and mind to it. our childhood. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself.

all of which determine our future. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior 63 .K KARMA. present and future and because of this. if you prefer. or alternatively. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. There is no judgment involved. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Just a thought. but generally the concept is basically the same. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Most people © Copyright 2003. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Jain. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past.

” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. which is a huge component of the human psyche. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your 64 .associate Destiny with fate. In the belief systems of many cultures. prophet. If you are not satisfied with your life. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. participate and change the direction you are heading. In the Shang dynasty in China. © Copyright 2003. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Step in. As stated above. saint or seer. Fate implies no choice. fate and destiny are not the same. but fate makes no allowance for free will. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life.

I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it.000. “Let the chips fall where they may”. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. The concept of the law of attraction is. LOVE. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. is a good analogy. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. “What you think about will happen in your life. For 65 . With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative.” It’s about where you put your focus. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. LIFE. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. What ever it is. that can help you with exactly that. The old saying.00 a year income. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. start by writing it down. © Copyright 2003.

The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. you then attracted it. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. talk to those people. Now that you have set this up. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. You asked for what you wanted. allowing it to happen is vital. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. don’t panic. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. I promise you it will show up. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. now grab it. etc. pay attention. Now the key here is to follow up with this. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked 66 . pay attention to what happens next. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You have made it clear. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. There is something there to be learned or gained. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back.

originally thought of. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. So live your life. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. The sooner we realize and accept that. Not only that. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. You never. As a Life Coach / Business Coach.qualifiedlifecoach. We cannot make everything nice and neat and a different package. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. Group Coaching. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. she said “You didn’t waste those years. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. who has no idea that she is. you used them to learn about yourself. maybe © Copyright the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. Go to my web site for more information.” And I realized as she told me this. It is never wasted and it is never lost. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. tele-classes and resources are offered. www. that is the Universe telling you go….net 67 . and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. a very wise woman.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. life is messy. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. She told him something I want to share with all of you. Individual Coaching.

Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. all kinds of love. often including a desire to help. but yes.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. you are perfect. compassion and faith. [Obs. sex. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. Definition: To pity. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. healing. never have. © Copyright 2003. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. married or alone. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. living this life to experience love. partnered. romance. A noun. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. some which I like and others not so much. First. t. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. I can see you all now rolling your eyes.” When we talk about compassion. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. dating. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. com·pas·sion. trust .net 68 . you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. then. v. I was reminded recently. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present.] Shak. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. I know. I’m not sure why exactly.

as well. one that you can get behind. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. just maybe those people whose lives we 69 . If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. Give yourself a break. can start to love themselves as well.K. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. then maybe. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. measurable phenomenon. with all their faults. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Instead of listening to that old record. in the process. nobody can make it for you. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. My only question to your would be this. lazy or self-indulgent. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. someone around you. those we live with. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. heal others and yourself. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. that negative voice in your head. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. then someone else. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. Luck is a real. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. work with or just come into contact with. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining.Another thing that is so important to remember. and.

In the past. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug.” Michael Craig Miller. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. the depression and the cause of that depression. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. and so do the ideal treatments. sex. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. (Harvard Medical School). And yet. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. This can make treatment especially difficult. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. In addition. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. or even make the depression worse. February 70 . and this is just the tip of the iceberg. 2007 article. M.M MALE DEPRESSION. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. During the past 50 years. certainly not for a real man. “Depression may look like a single disease.. As Dr. Depression can manifest in many different forms. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i.e. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. but the underlying causes vary. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. with all these statistics facing us. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. MIND-BODY CONNECTION.D. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article.

D. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. As Dr. without wanting or meaning to. Using © Copyright 2003. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. This is not easy. Working from the inside out. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. helping you regain strong mental-health. Hallowell. fear. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. hurt. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. Edward M. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. When you recognize that this is occurring.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. October 18. bitterness. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. without help. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Ph. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. the healing process. difficult and painful process. 2005. There are detours that we must take. “Forgiveness… has to be 71 .. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. During the course of this journey and these detours. guilt and depression. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. love and happiness beyond measure. With the aid of hypnotherapy. When this occurs. smooth and without bumps or potholes. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. however. fear or anger that you are experiencing. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. As I quote above. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. resentment. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. you take back control of your own life. Sometimes. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. Woman’s World. When you release the hurt.

” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. In addition. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Ryke Geerd Hamer. including diet. can lead to serious food addictions. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. eating disorders. hostility. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. a German physician. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. drug abuse and depression. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. © Copyright 2003. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. Holding onto anger. This has been proven by Dr.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression.000 brain scans. but our physical body as well. resentment. pathogens. alcoholism. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. hurt. Dr. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress 72 . fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With the help of 20. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. meditation. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries.

Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. anger is what you will bring into your life. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. white flour. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. yoga can help. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. if you focus on anger. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Success is largely an inner game. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Meditation works. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. In addition to nurturing your mind. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book.D. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. etc. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Believe me. thought or image. Ph. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat.exposure to toxic substances. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. but to your thoughts as well. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. and © Copyright 73 . and this applies to any negative emotion. vaccines. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is a way of thinking. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. use it and use it frequently. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. whole grains. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Success is a process of continually learning new information. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. etc). I have been there and there is a way out. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. It requires that you develop a success mind. guide them in a positive direction.

learn from your mistakes. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. fear of what other people will think. © Copyright 2003. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. the less we fear them. make adjustments along the way. or successful businessperson. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. You will have to change to be successful. possibility is in the dreaming. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. generate new ideas. The success mind trains itself to ask. fear of hard work. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. Take action. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. This is one of the laws of success. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. foster creativity. and failure. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. Take time to dream. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. Fear of change. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. fear that we are not good enough. conditioning. inventor. if you talk to any star athlete. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. Gather new information. Develop a process to examine your fears. While success requires action. fear of failure. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Yet. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. and keep moving forward. exploring one more option or opportunity. hardship. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. you simply need to start. and create new realities. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. see unlimited possibilities. but also change the world. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor 74 .

and grow. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Your thoughts. your feelings. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. Question. Remember. your actions. It is never too late to develop your success mind. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. Mental toughness. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. you likely will feel fear. When you say yes. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. try on new perspectives. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. The time to begin is now.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. You continue to grow. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. your world and your success. challenge. adventure. experience. form opinions. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. create. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. As you do this. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your 75 . make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. think. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. But once you say no to an opportunity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. and success. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. Not simply because you say yes. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. As you create a habit of responding with a yes.

Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. make corrections.bestlifedesign. Inc. © Copyright 2003. Stop caring what other people think. Ph. performance coach.success and rewards your effort. better. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. and healthier lives. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Dream big and take consistent. and smart action. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. mediator. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. 76 . redirect the effort. is President of Best Life Design.D. Mollie Marti. engage again and refuse to or www. J.D.. directed. Visit her at www. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. happier.

training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. linguistics and computer science. However. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. and interpersonal influence. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. sports.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. There is. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. Unfortunately. management training. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. © Copyright 77 . Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. sales. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. Robert Dilts. however. John Grinder. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Use it for minor headaches. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed 81 . In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. health healing. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. You have the power to change your perception. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. red would probably not be the best color to use. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. Also. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. Whether it makes us happy or sad. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. occurrence. growth. activity. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. fire. © Copyright 2003. think we are making progress or stagnating. remember that red not only represents life force. use Yellow) money. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain.

Depending on the phobia. Sometimes. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. this power. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But the results tend to be permanent. Once you have faced your phobia. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Relief is truly immediate. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. but it is not a gift at all. After you are put into a hypnotic state. You are then taken back to the phobia again. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. Basically. It can be done in person and over the phone. there will be no emotional response. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. control it and use it wisely. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. If you are suffering from a phobia.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. By the time your therapist is done. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. this is how it works. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. it can make your life almost unbearable. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our 82 . Perception is a powerful thing. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. © Copyright 2003. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Take control. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. though.

In order to accomplish this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. fun. money as well. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. and not just a lack of money or things. joyful and full life filled with love. thinking and dreaming. fulfillment and 83 . Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. fear of failure. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. however.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. both written by Dr. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. it may be necessary to make some changes. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. Frequently they are a result of fear. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. © Copyright 2003. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. happiness. and not just money or things. you will enjoy them immensely. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. prosperity includes a rich. Marti. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Mollie W. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Fear of change. even fear of success.

taste. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. and tangible. around us. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. It appears undeniably to be out there. touch. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. and hear it. because what was a mechanical. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. external universe. standing as a physical world. they are all phenomena within the mind. Loop Quantum Gravity. Superstring Theory. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. Theory of Everything. Unified Field Theory. We can see it. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. smell. in addition. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. touch it. in about three or four paragraphs! So.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. They exist within consciousness. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. solid. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). instead. however. Supersymmetry. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. independent and apart from us. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. Time. Grand Unified Theory. However real and external these images may seem. the Copenhagen Interpretation. hear. utterly 84 . Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. space. not the other way around. separate from us. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. String Theory. as I started to research this a bit. EPR Paradox. In the dream it all seems very real. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Schroedinger’s Cat. M-Theory. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Quantum Gravity.

Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a 85 . your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. Cool. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. and there’s only one real way to do that. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.So. huh? So.

RELEASING. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. Unfortunately. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. congratulations. In addition. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. It is the physical who yells. These two distinct types. our behavior patterns. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. However. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. read on. if you are not. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. how they can come apart. First. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. possibly even throws things when angry. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. cries or screams when upset.R RELATIONSHIPS. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. © Copyright 86 .

he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. on the other hand. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. is quite a bit different. I really do mean attraction. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. This is natural. secure and © Copyright 2003. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. longer hours at the office. then hobbies. For the physical. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. And that’s a good 87 . many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. the relationship is of primary importance to her. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. She on the other hand. When they first meet. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. In relationships. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. After all. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With the physical female. Their first priority is their career. She is happy. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. he cannot understand why. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. When his partner complains that they never see each other. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. The emotional. his career. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. outgoing. When I say E&P attraction. Let’s cover very briefly. To her partner it is his career. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. But let’s look into the future several months. And boy do they do relate. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. Next would be their children. So he starts spending more time at work. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. what the priorities of each are.

Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. The process is quick. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Release anger. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. When you understand how the other thinks. Interestingly enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With communication you can understand each other. releasing occurs naturally. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. fear and guilt. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your 88 . Sometimes. to get clear on your goals for the future. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. What can be done about this. Remember. When we are healthy and balanced. This is done through imagery and suggestion. though. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. sadness. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. communication is key to any successful relationship. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. Plenty. © Copyright 2003. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons.

Ph. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. and emotional states. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. unpredictability and lack of control. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. hurt. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. process and recall information. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. doubts. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. physical. body and emotions.D. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. That may been all you need at this time. anger. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of 89 . both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. positive thoughts. fears. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. Both techniques are effective. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. Negative expectations. If your subconscious is ready. use your downloadable sessions first. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions.

Many rituals are quite simple. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are ready for it. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. You spend mental.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. “It’s gray and cloudy.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. For example. in and of © Copyright 2003. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. Think and say. taking in a deep breathe.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. As you spend energy during the day. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. boring day. and in countless other interactions. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. As you add them to your day. Rather. You wake up and your first thought might be. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. make a choice to expect positive results. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. reading a book. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. You give energy away to other people. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. over the telephone. each and every day. It’s going to be a gloomy. Rest is any activity. build in ways to recoup your energy. to your computer. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more 90 . Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly.

rhythmic breathing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. and discarding the 91 . fatigue. after working at your computer for an hour. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. and anxiety. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. Influence Management: Before any performance. guilt. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. you are less able to concentrate on your task. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. After a 90-minute presentation. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. anger. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you.itself. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. You’ve © Copyright 2003. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. For example. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. When you carry negative emotions like fear. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. frustration. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. nervousness. linking it with a unique physical action. which is pleasurable and restorative. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand.

An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. As I cross the line. A tangible engagement cue. consciously look at your focal point. you might choose a banner. body and emotions that it is time to perform. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. I “turn on” my full engagement. She chose a cloud as her focal point. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. “OK. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. can be viewed as a distraction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. If you are in your office or in a conference room. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . For example. It immediately precedes the performance and says. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. © Copyright 2003. If you travel. even if it is a good thing. . it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. but when it came time to 92 . Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. or a clock on the wall. This leads to a less than stellar performance. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. works well. I image a red line on the floor. prior to a presentation or meeting.simply applied a band-aid. try to use the same type of focal point. Before you perform. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. back to my task. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. it also had drifted off. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. Any time you get distracted. Yet. As you travel or perform in different locations. a piece of art. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. such as a doorframe. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. .

© Copyright 2003. successful entrepreneur. mediator.bestlifedesign. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. and healthier lives. A close companion is the use of for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Mollie Marti. J. is President of Best Life Design. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. happier. including caffeine and adrenaline. lawyer. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind.D. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. It will throw you off. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Ph. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. This means that if you get away from your rituals. Inc. they will provide great consistency. performance coach. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the or www. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. it won’t feel right. As part of this process. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. better.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus.D.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 93 . ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.. concentration. and success. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. Visit her at www. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. If you cannot identify your rituals. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. You need eat more avocados. impatience. Calcium. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. prunes. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. apricots. worry. etc. leafy vegetables. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. causing irritability and nervousness. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. brown rice. bananas. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. broccoli. exhaustion. chronic fatigue. fear. apples. cabbage. Calcium rich foods are almonds. kelp. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. such as hormonal imbalances. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Unfortunately. moodiness and nervousness. depression. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Almonds. oats. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Vitamin B12. kale. © Copyright 2003. seafood. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. asparagus. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. sesame seeds. mustard greens. fish. Vitamin B6. be one of the first things that goes. irritability. blood sugar fluctuations. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. spinach and salmon all contain 97 . salmon. irritability. depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

nobody will. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Walk.Folic acid. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. our cortisol levels drop. Squeeze a squishy ball. oranges. I know mine always have been). who will take care of our children. such as a squishy ball. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. carrots and turnips). to work away your tension. mushrooms. salmon. dates. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. root vegetables (such as potatoes.naturalcounselor. Kiss. you must relax. though. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep © Copyright 2003. mood swings. Call a friend. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. green leafy vegetables. but if something happens to us. legumes.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. our family? So let us be stress smart. insomnia or lack of energy. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. oatmeal. brown rice. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. tuna and whole 98 . lentils. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. Sing. In addition. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Bottom line though. barley. Start squeezing something. a founder of NaturalCounselor.

but to the energy of the present moment. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in 99 . As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. For example. If you wake up today affirming an illness. I used to feel that way often. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. According to the laws of physics. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. If you understand that. If you wake up today focusing on debt. Energy is constantly in motion. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. because you cannot stand still. if you are having a problem with money. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. a feeling. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. I know I have. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations.

and elastic. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck.D. our results suggest. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions.. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Ph. © Copyright 2003. for example.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. In a follow-up experiment published last year. And. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. Pain sufferers. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.vibration so it is not possible you are 100 . the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. Ph. meanwhile. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. smooth. In a pilot study published in 1999.” Ginandes says.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. During the sessions. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Hypnosis. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment.” So. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. You don’t have to create change. really. can influence the body to heal itself. It is only important that it does. it doesn’t matter why it works.D. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. You need to make room for change. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. the truth is. for most people.

just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. This is where Time Line Imagery can help 101 . the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. Take your time with this. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. Remember. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. Remember. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. If it’s behind you. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. to the left or to the right. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. Take responsibility for your life and direction. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. look down on the Time Line. it is what feels best for you. There is no correct answers. your love and your joy. When you have determined the directions of past and future. © Copyright 2003.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. for you happiness and your abundance.

I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. Without getting specific about each of them. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. even if they cannot give it back. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. It can look that way to others. you made a mistake. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. Sometimes what you need. bad things just happen. You procrastinated. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. you stuck by the wrong person. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. It might not have looked that way to others. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. You need them to tell you to be strong. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the 102 . I’d like you to consider another alternative. © Copyright 2003. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment.

The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. while another may be a Wiccan. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. another may practice Hinduism. Picture yourself at age 80. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. you need to define what it is you want. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. Spirituality. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. © Copyright 2003. 85. 103 . Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. For example. whatever feels right.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. 90. VICTIMHOOD. First. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

© Copyright 2003. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. but not only that. What value areas of your life are you happy with. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. mugged or even raped. However. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Think about all the value areas of your life. then your perception makes it right. is you. or even the perceptions of our family. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. are you really meant to be together. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. You might get angry. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships.Now think back over your life. then you’ve got a problem. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Something very unpleasant. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What areas cause you regret. church and society. What you might think is wrong. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. Figure it out early. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. If it is what you believe. friends. you will certainly feel violated. 104 . Perhaps you are abused. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you.

There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of 105 . my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. for what you do and what you say. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. A rather sad. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. it means you are not responsible for anything. etc. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. etc. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. Life. my friends don’t understand me. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. Here in the U. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim.. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people.I want you to consider something. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. But just take a moment now and really think about it.. etc. But now. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. my mother didn’t understand me. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. happiness and joy available to each of us. my kids don’t show me any respect. my wife doesn’t understand me. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. and society actually encourages this thought. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. And. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. however. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of.” But. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.S. my husband ignores me. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. It wasn’t fun. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. my mother didn’t give me enough love.

is powerful beyond belief. never © Copyright 2003. Simply. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy.. please. feel more loved. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. etc. You had to be strong.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. 2006. can often help the other. Remember. we lose 106 . And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. Fixing a problem in one place though. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. As stated in Woman’s World. bad relationship and can keep on going. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. If we take back control. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been.who you are.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. If that is taken away from us . build self-confidence. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. it is the ability to enjoy life. etc. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. beautiful heart and so much love to give. For example. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. boost your mood. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. September 26. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. each of us. eventually.

relieve pain. Use the power of your mind. If you are feeling 107 . © Copyright 2003. depressed or negative. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. increase your self-confidence. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. can change how your feel. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. So. Is essence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your imagination. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down.

net 108 . We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. alcohol. however. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. First one.W WEIGHT. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.. 5. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. refined. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. If. WORDS. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. scientists. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. bleached flour. The truth is. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Not only that. the only diet that had ever worked for them. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise.) 3. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. before facts have actually been verified. diet and weight. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. 4. it’s good again. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. included six small meals a day. Confusing. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003.e. etc.

Has your 109 . 7. Do you associate a person. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 8. 17. Out of all the food you eat in a day. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 20. 18. © Copyright 2003. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 19. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 9. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 10. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions.6.

confidence and happiness. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. a lack of fulfillment. having said all that. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. You had to be strong. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. by working it. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. WRONG! Words have power. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they include abandonment issues. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. survivors. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. We heal from physical injuries.Now. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. self-confidence. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You know © Copyright 2003. More often than not. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was 110 . WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. Abuse victims. you know that as strange as it may sound. satisfaction. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation.

but not only that. wider and stronger each and every day. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. Also. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. And that’s what venting to another is. But you are wrong. When this occurs. I have to say this. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. Your life depends on it After all. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. Make some calls. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. But most of all. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. lover. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. wife. find out what you can do. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. As a matter of fact. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. dreams and desires.because I say it over and over again. someone will answer.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. this planet needs you. The same holds true for what you hear. your talent. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Think and dream about your future. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. And for each of us. call out for help. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. scream and yell and swear all you want. keep your thoughts strong. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. words can hurt you. Once said they are out there forever. Vent when you are alone. But when you are with someone you care about. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. intelligence and compassion. 111 . If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. This is why “words” do have so much power. throughout your life entire life.

It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. when things are going smoothly. If you do not feel ready for that. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. much like arthritis in wet weather. Releasing sessions can work well with these. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. © Copyright 2003. can help. If you can do this. especially in interpersonal situations. However. or. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free.withdraw into 112 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

drinking. you have a decision to make. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. DRINKER.X X SMOKER. the decision becomes easy. what is different and better. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Wait 10-20 seconds. Make a commitment and a decision. Before you make that decision. healthy. You have the opportunity to see a different future. And now let those images fade completely away. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. vibrant. © Copyright 2003. your energy will flow in that direction. clear skin. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. You can choose to live your life. doesn’t it?. BINGER ETC. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Notice how you feel. binger or whatever. very clearly. Whatever it is. When you have done this. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Once you decide that you want to quit. the body you want. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. strong. are you now sure which one you want. Wait 10-20 seconds. drinker. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Make a promise to yourself. What do you look like. Notice what you 113 . clear and easy breathing. vital. Of these two possible futures in your life.

you may never receive it. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. For instance. When you first begin to work your 114 . your life script. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Everything in life is a choice. So. © Copyright 2003. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. a better job. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. Compare it to strength training. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. your entire belief system. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. In making a choice. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. it does not mean you will receive it. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. joy. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. you can only lift a small amount of weight. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are success. happiness. you always have a choice. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

© Copyright 2003. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual To me. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. check it out at www. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. check it regularly. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. looking around. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can 115 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.hollygleason. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.According to Holly.

or ideal. or ideal and the determination to further that 116 . Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. it means a diligent enthusiasm. cause. fight for your dreams and your goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cause. intensity and passion. An antonym is apathy. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. please do it with zeal and without apathy. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. And always remember this.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person.

” and the “sore spot. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. To make this even more effective. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand.” “gamut spot. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. There are 15 points. While you are doing these three karate chops. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. You can also visualize this word in your 117 .EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. © Copyright 2003. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.

If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 7. 4. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. or anything you want 118 . you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 12. This is not a sentence. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 3.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. you can use just one or two words. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do what feels right for you. 10. You can go through the tapping process several times.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 8. 11. 9. but do each issue separately. fear. 5. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. 6. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. or AFRAID.” © Copyright 2003. or DEPRESSED. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. anxiety. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 2.

By burning away all anger and negativity. you also release all negative thoughts. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. emotions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. © Copyright 2003. your connection with yourself is complete. uncross your arms and legs.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. ideas and beliefs within yourself. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay 119 . resentment or negativity away. And as your heart fire increases. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. you open all pathways to love. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. And as your heart fire increases. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. I love myself. hurt. feelings. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire.” And that’s all there is to it. As you do this.

imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. allow that color to flow in and out as well. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. taking this time right now for myself. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. Take yourself fully into this place. like salt. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. Then when you are ready. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. If another color comes to mind. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. see the image). Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. at the beach. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. heal yourself and relax yourself. See it. hear it (i. hours. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Then imagine or visualize white granules. smell it.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. hear the waves and the birds. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.e. smell the salt. cleansing breath in and let it out. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself.. weeks. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. days. If you feel like it and have the time. months or even years to be 120 . I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. anyplace.

© Copyright 2003. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. thoughts and feelings. You are in charge of your healing and your life. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. yourself. emotions. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. Let go of all tightness within you. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. You are in control and in charge of your body. or whatever it is your desire. my guy and I are in love.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. happy and having fun together. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Here’s my 121 . relationship. activity.

I choose to forget past mistakes now. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. positive delightful reality. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I keep saying ranch until that 122 . POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. live in the moment and dream in the future. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I vibrate with positive energy. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. I say to myself RANCH. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. With my thoughts I create my new. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now.

... 84. 5. 110 communication ...... 78 E&P attraction ... 37..125 anger ...... 81......... 78 EFT .... 67........ 103..... 122 chronic anger ..... 19.... 37....... 32. 123.. 50..........9.. 35... 42.. 119.... 81... 46. 107 Cheryl O’Neil .. 6.86 addict .38.......... 91........ 43. 38..... 5........... 52....... 6... 35..... 114........ 35.... 9......... 10. 37. 60.. .. 99. 104....... 47... 114.. 97....... 125 energy ... 63..... 94.. 105....88 clarity 9.. 127.. 32...........2......... 35. 7........ 2.... 101.. 1.......58 choice2... 119 confidence...... 79 cancer. 60.... 36..... 10. 23.......... 81.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att....... 129........... 30 Eric Butterworth ........ 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 63........ 78.... 96... 114. 65..... 78.. 79 Carol Ginandes.. 8.. 64. 57.. 74.. 89 balance ... 33... 118 acute pain...... 36............. 52.... 129 alcoholism...... 131 dreams 22...........D. 46... 24. 8.. 94 baggage. 5... 97.......... 114..... 97... 102. 33.. 42....... 97. 74.3. 27..1. 63. 60....... 70. 43. 37... 121. 89.... 94. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .. 50....... 98.. 71.. 28....... 112 compassion . 95. 44....... 28.. 94. 35. 36................ 78 chronic pain ..... 6.......... 50... 24. 130 focus....... 80....5............ 114.......... 58..... 74.................. 3 Alzheimer’s ....24..... 44. 31..... 77. 109.......... 52..........21 Arreed Barabasz ....... 106. 95.... 97...... 36.. 73 depression . 60......... 20....... 29. 32.......... 53. 22.... 70...... 124 drinking............. 22. 7....... 21... 20. 27. 103......... 90.. 119... 77...... 105 darkest hour .... 76.... 78. 101... 21.. 126.......... 94.. 6..... 60. 78 alternative programs ... 7.... 41. 16......121 blood sugar ...... 95. 22. 54.... 94... 113 Abraham Hicks ... 79 dream 1. 38.... 55..... 88... 21. 21.......... 27... 129 food addictions.... 36....... 128 anxiety 7..... 7 attraction .... 110.7.. 125..Index 12-step programs . 55 Dawn Abraham .... 90 coronary disease.. 39... 27.. 127..... 76..... 122.. 78 affirmations... 22.. 72.. 56. 21... 91..... 62.... 126.. 79. 121 drug abuse... 118 consciousness 8..... 37...... 72.. 106.. 36.......30 anchor ......... 116.... 12 Elvira Lang ..... 38.... 10 binging . 58.. 35...... 71.... 47.. 58..... 4.. 38. 57....... 104... 5.. 43....5. 45....... 96. 53. 89 fear 1. 23.. 78. 109........... 44..........2.. 3 addiction .... 44. 4.... 6.. 32......... 6.. 46.....1. 121......... 5.. 76.... 12..D. 46. 61.. 34...... 23...... 81....... 78 forgiveness... 37....... 84.... 26.... 5.... 21.... 52. 41...... 3.... 21. 45. 115.. 44. 130 epilepsy . 116 Bereavement .. 126 adrenalin . 26... 81.... 6...... 24 eating disorders...8 Adrian Calabrese... 116 disease.. 63. 83... 35............ 71....5.. 26.. 86.....2..... 102.... Ph........... 113. 25. 45........ 30..... 31.. 102. i .. 44.. 103............... 104... 78 cortisol .. 104....... 32.. 71... 4.... 43........ 89..... 94....... .. Ph... 48.. 98.. 88..........2.. 38..... 77..5.. 19.... 117....... 96. 56....... 93.......... 80. 66..7..... 35. 25...... 21 David Spiegel.. 89.107 abuse 5. 31........ 48....... 54.. 75.... 87........ 47........... 79... 129 diet .. 97... 55 emotional freedom technique .. 95 © Copyright 2003. 47....... 14... 78.. 73. 92.... 94.86 Circle Therapy .. 104...24....... 37............ 90.. 44...54 association ...... 6.... 21......... 3....... 59.... 128.............. 76.... 55... 127..... 6... 32........30..... 78... 39... 76 desire.. 18... 7. 79. 30.......53.. 15... 2... 130 apprehension... 42...... 112................ 106.....

................ 32 phobia .. 22... 129 resentment. 103.............. 63...... 77... 35... 116 happiness . 30...... 37 powerless .............. 78...... 95...... 128 Richard Bandler ...... 56... 53.... 89 phobias.1....... 25.. 58. 35..... 79. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute . 93 message units ........8. 6.. 37.......... 118 self-talk .... 56....... 127.......... 10.........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .83 Law of Attraction.............. 120.... 45......... 37 self-esteem ....... 119 neuro-linguistic programming .. 109......... 93.... 112...... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 107.......... 43. 83 Robert Dilts.......... 65... 47.... 56...... 60.10....... 83 nitric oxide .......... 47.. 29 neuro pathways ... 6......... 34.32 illness 36. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice. 94.... 76......... 33..... 56.. Woods . 59... 129 heart disease. 78 NLP........ 121 relationships24... 47..... 113........9... 37. 67............. 86 habits......... 65. 74......................40. 77..12 habit ...... 87. 121 snapshot ..... 89.... 38.... 42..... 118............ 57.......... 26.... 50... 4... 127........ 36 Guilt . 120 relaxation . 86......... 95.....7.......5....fulfillment .. 129 grief.... 79.. 30.10.... 123. 108 Parkinson’s disease. 115 smoking.5.. 78... 86... 21.. 35. 119... 67.......... 114 imagery ....... 36.. 5........ 47... 125 men .. 57.. 53... 37...... 102......... 47... 87......... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer .... 5. 38.............7...... 122 Harvard .... 110.. 78.. 109...... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003............ 77............. 5.... 83 overload ......... 51... 55..... 43.. 116. 130 Judith DeLozier ...... 110.36 joy .. 113 prosperity ..... 58... 117 medicine....... 39.. 29. 53...... 21.... 107 healing .. 10... 30........ 37... 15.......... 57....... 103.. ii .. 10......................... 128..... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. 54.... 117....... 17 Janet Luhrs........... 118 Gary Craig ...... 49. 107.10........ 63.. 7.... 22.. 34........... 8..... 39. 44.................. 76... 9. 76.... 58..... 1..... 127 hypersuggestible . 37.........8 hypnosis ... 122 Ida Kendall ..... 13... 27... 22.. 94 mood swings ... 39.. 66.. 59...9...... 58... 53.24... 7.......... 105 Jane C....... 77.. 81...... 120...... 26..... 85....... 44. 99.............. 60..... 22.. 40. 87............. 78...... 77. 115.......... 125. 6 Pat Dennis.......... 42. 7. 118..... 57.... 32........ 105.. 94..... 78. 46.... 78. 10.83 John Kappas... 88.... 79...32 hypnotherapy ..........2.... 78..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology...... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking . 77.............. 64... 83 Roger Callahan . 57.......28 John Grinder . 3. 101 self-image ..... 15................ 21..... 84 panic attacks... 53........ 32................ 5.. 59. 111....... 28.. 79...... 28. 101.11..... 54... 2.................. 32... 10..... 78... 54.. 42.. 37... 92........... 9...... 79.... 87 lose weight 4. 69... 32.. 79............. 115.. 118. 75.. 71 life force.................................... 37................. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .... 6.. 8........ 6. 56 hurt... 54..... 50.. 27...... 64..... 43...54 Irina Wardas ............... 22... 58...... 89...... 29........... 59. 37. 47. 19.... 67.. 54............. 16.... 88. 6.....30 high blood pressure... 77... 99.... 101. 113. 13....3.. 31. 43...... 46......... 109...... 58. 30 passive-aggressive . 119...... 125 immune suppression ...... 6.................. 107......76 Hridaya Yoga........... 14. 30.... 78........... 110.. 84....... 83.37... 86.... 59........ 43...... 57....... 43.... 109.... 57 neural interconnections . 122...... 79.. 77.... 52........ 77......... 53..... 114.... 38.... 23... 58. 56. 89....35 goal .. 36.... 77.. 58...

.....44... 77.....83 Stephen Kosslyn .. 34. 37. 101.. 85....... 120 yummy list ..............107 trigger......... 57. 59............... 60..... 59.... 113....... 22.. 128 subconsciously....... 43................. 114 triggering event ........ 114 visualization.. 26.. 5........ 85... 122 zeal....... 48. 6.... 77... 122.............. 91.. 78. 77.. 84.... 112........... iii . 78 subconscious..Stephen Gilligan ........ 115............... 47.. 125.................. 39...... 38....5............... 79 thought habits ... 30. 121 value areas of life...................................... 109.. 6.......... 36......... 109......... 37.. 118....... 2.............. 116 Women............. 5.6.......... 56.. 58. 78. 65.. 95.......... 114 weight ........ 37........... 111 victimhood ....... 80.... 6... 21.................... 124 © Copyright 2003.. 106 wounds ..... 95......... 109 triggers .. 110 Two Futures ... 7... 75........... 79. 30..... 45......... 120 suicide...28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ..... 8.. 47....................53 transformation....... 10.. 34........... 107................. 29............. 77.4............ 44........ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.......... 46.......57 stress hormones ......... 7.....

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