An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. emotions and perceptions. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. neuro pathways. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. As I said before. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. feelings. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. . when given the proper instructions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories.

........2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................................. FEAR..............40 FOCUS ........................... ANGER..........3 ANGER .................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ...................5 ANXIETY .............................. FOCUS.......37 FABULOUS ........ G................ ENERGY .......26 DIETING ..................................................................................... DIETING............................................26 DEPRESSION .............................................. ADDICTION.................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)............................................................ CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE......................................32 EMOTIONS..................................................8 CHANGE........15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ........................................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ....................... BEREAVEMENT ................................................ C....... ......42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...............................46 B.......8 BALANCE ................................................................................................8 BEREAVEMENT .................................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).......................21 DEPRESSION........................................18 COMMUNICATION ..............................37 FEAR ....................................................................... D.............................................. ANXIETY................... E...... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...........................................35 FABULOUS............................. FORGIVENESS.46 SMART GOALS .............................................................................................. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS..............................................................................................................................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.....................3 AFFIRMATIONS.7 BALANCE...... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE..............................................................................................43 GOALS .............................. EMOTIONS...................1 ADDICTION .... F.....................................................34 ENERGY ................................................................................................................... AFFIRMATIONS...............................................

............................49 HEART FIRE ............................65 LIFE........................................ L............... N.............................................................................................................................................................. .................................. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.......52 IMAGERY................................................ MIND SUCCESS .......................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)..................................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ... HEALING........................................................................................................................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION..............................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ..................56 JEALOUSY ............... Q.........................................................51 HYPNOSIS....................................54 INTUITION........83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .... KISMET ........ PERCEPTION............................................................................................80 PERCEPTION .................H....................................................................................................................................................................... LOVE................................70 MALE DEPRESSION........72 MIND SUCCESS .........69 MALE DEPRESSION............................................84 I..................................................................................80 PAIN...................................................63 KARMA .................................................................... M................59 JEALOUSY... INTUITION....... J............................................68 LUCK ...................................................... P..........73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)..... K..70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION......77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .....63 KISMET ............63 LAW OF ATTRACTION..........................................81 PHOBIAS ...................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ................. LIFE............................................................ PHOBIAS...................... HYPNOSIS.................... O..................... LUCK .........78 PAIN.......................................................................................................................49 HEALING ..................................................................................59 KARMA................................................... PROSPERITY ............54 IMAGERY..67 LOVE.........................................................................77 OVERLOAD....................

.................................................................................................................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)..........................122 INDEX ..........103 VALUE AREAS..................116 S..............................................113 TWO FUTURES .........................................................................86 RELEASING .......... RELATIONSHIPS.117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.......................... EXERCISES ... VICTIMHOOD............................................... W...... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)... iii .........................103 VICTIMHOOD .............114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ..........................................................................................................R................ i............................................................114 ZEAL .................................................................................................... SELF-TALK................................................................ DRINKER.......... YUMMY LIST .............................................96 STUCK .114 YUMMY LIST ....................................................94 STRESS .................................. WOUNDS ... RELEASING.... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS............................ V...................................................................................................................... BINGER ETC ....102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE............................. T........................................................................................................................................... WORDS........108 WEIGHT ........................................94 SELF-TALK..................... U...........................108 WORDS...........101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .......................... Y...................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.......................... STUCK ...................................... Z............................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ........................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY ............................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE....113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.......................104 VISUALIZATION .................................. ii............................................................................111 X SMOKER.................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE...................86 RELATIONSHIPS ................................................. VISUALIZATION........................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE.........106 WEIGHT............ X.............

Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. we don’t trust it to be real. usually as a result of fear. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. think we are making progress or stagnating. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. even worse. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. Even when we know we have this tool. love. occurrence. satisfying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. ANGER. ADDICTION. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or 1 . Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. indeed. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. it is filled with laughter. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. however. In order to make changes. a life that is rich and full. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. fear of failure. money and success. excitement and yes. It is our perception of any event. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along.A ABUNDANCE. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. fear of success. As a result. Because of this. incident. © Copyright 2003. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. The future. AFFIRMATIONS. Fear of change. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts.

While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. alcohol. the more vibrant and alive you become. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. at least for a while. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. Unfortunately. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. however. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. helps them suppress the pain. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. no matter what program you are going through. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. at least while they are using their drug. People without strong desires slowly whither away. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. the more connected you feel. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results.e. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. however. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. cocaine.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. Your first 2 . who you can call when you feel you might slip. i. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. It is important though. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. Allow that desire to flow through you. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. and life just gets better and better.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. A tempo that is magnetic. so. you do have a choice.

com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. I agree with this school of thought. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. but you don’t have www. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. the closer to the surface this pain will www. www. When you face this pain that you have been running from. However. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do.habitdoc.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone.passagesmalibu. you will forever remain an addict. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.practicalrecovery. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. if it is not done. the addict. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The sooner we realize and accept that. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t 3 . A friend of mine once told me. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. don’t really use affirmations in the best way www. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. Many people. though. then you.secularsobriety. so. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.

• State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. When you do this. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. always focus on what you want to move towards. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.” Or “I will lose 4 . Always create an image of what you want in your life. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. • Be specific. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. When you move towards what you want. that’s like moving uphill.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. © Copyright 2003. then that means you are on the right track. Don’t let fear hold you back. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. • Always remember this.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” • State your affirmations in the positive. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. not what you want to avoid.” Or say. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them.” the message sent to your mind. So. your computer. If necessary. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. the steering wheel of your car. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. when what you really mean is.

If you don’t see yourself as a victim. resentment. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. anger is the most common response. it can be just as damaging. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. hurt. Even if we bury anger deep inside. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. When a relationship ends. fatigue. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. cold hands. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. alcoholism. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. In situations that cause fear. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. can lead to serious food addictions. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. Holding onto anger. crying. hostility. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace 5 . immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. you may blame others for your situation or condition. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. If you see yourself as a victim. along with mourning. So. then anger becomes a serious health risk. When this is the case. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. and in small doses can be a good thing. you may see yourself as an avenger. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. drug abuse and depression. going from one trauma to the next. In addition. looking for justice and revenge. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. and heart palpitations. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. Not only is this destructive to you. shaking. eating disorders. But some people seem to be angry all the time. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way.

This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. and stubborn. however. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. but anger that may be directed at you by others.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. Also. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. and depression. and can help make you more content. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. coronary disease. and can lead to serious food addictions. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. releasing your anger. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. and even increased workplace injuries. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. fear and hurt. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. In the past. If you feel powerless. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. suicide. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. expressing your anger in an indirect way. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. sarcastic. Unfortunately. Power and anger are frequently related. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. bitterness. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing 6 . You could find yourself intentionally irritating. it will never go away. alcohol and drug abuse. cancer. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking.

fear or anxiety. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. © Copyright 2003. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. Also. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. fear or anxiety. flying. 7 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. mood swings. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. driving a car. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. etc. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally.). shakiness. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. being home alone.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. Fears. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. nausea. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. anxiety. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state.

that happiness must come from within ourselves. Good advice. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. a perfect balance. you know. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. No one can tell you how to be happy. The problem was. it didn’t work. then he’d really truly be happy. Just think about that a moment. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. I told him the usual stuff. let them be a reminder to look inside. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. There isn’t another person. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. place or thing that can make you happy. Happiness. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. right? Yes and no. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past.B BALANCE. then it would make him happy as well. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. No matter what you 8 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. getting involved with a church. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. Sometimes we need reminders. Twelve hours of day and night.

fulfillment and life find you. feeling. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But even more than that. our voice. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. They allow you to clear out the old. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. desire. happiness. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special 9 .” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. if we are angry. job or whatever you are seeking. Whether it’s an emotion. to balance the light and dark within yourself. No matter how hard we may try. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. stop thinking it to death. In this state. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. You are able to access your subconscious. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. goal. even the words we use. jane@changingpeople. That means stop analyzing everything so much. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. lover. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. It will. and in doing so. the right kind of suggestions. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. working for you. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. Woods. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling.

It is an immutable part of the human condition. for example.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . That said. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. just a little.the intensity and duration may differ. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. To a degree that can be true. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. © Copyright 2003. you must do what is right for you. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. letting relevant people know. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. and so on. NewBeginnings 10 . There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. However. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. and generally we prefer not to think about it. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved.

net 11 . Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. is a refusal to believe the news. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. uncaring. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. For example. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. we may need to be told several times. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do.Denial A second common response. recognizing it and naming it. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. We may need evidence. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. Often that is enough. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. “If I do this. disconcertingly. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. we may be compelled to visit the scene. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. Some enlightened doctors know. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. or for feeling angry. or those suffering alongside us. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. once the first shock waves have abated. © Copyright 2003. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. and just plain wrong. It is unrealistic but again. Help them tell you their feelings. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. when they are breaking bad news to patients. a normal response. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. we may need to see the person themselves if possible.

There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. was decreed. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. I have lost someone significant in my life’. You cannot short circuit this process. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will 12 .Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. how to manage our grief. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. and even our clothing. just let it go. like fundraising for a particular charity. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even perhaps depressed. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. For example. when our behaviour. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it.

you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. such as excessive use of alcohol. we begin to move on. If you need a hug. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. © Copyright 2003. be it with a handshake or a hug. ask them. So. feeling there is no point. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. not in any sense. which can be a comfort. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself 13 . Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. You may find.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. Experiment At some point. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. People want to help but they often don’t know how. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. Let close friends offer you comfort. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. However hard it is. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. however it feels. in this phase. But actually. you never go right back to the beginning. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. we experiment with new ways of behaving. and this will of course vary from person to person. This does not mean forgetting them.

You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to 14 . whether for you personally. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Again. be it taking some homemade food round. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. ritual can be helpful at this time. Knowing this can help you plan for it. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Literally.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. a card sincerely written. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. as I have said. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. so we need to use our discretion. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. take medical advice. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy.” © Copyright 2003. surrounded by people. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. be it lighting candle. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Helping In Western culture. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. I hope it has been helpful however. taking flowers to an appropriate place. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. Of course. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. If you can. or an offer of help with the shopping. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support.

Some people embrace change and some resist it. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. we can get very fed up. some research based. depending on the severity of the change. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. and some simply telling you how to do it. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. even depressed. Finally. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Sometimes. Woods. some anecdotal. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . This phase goes on for ages or not too long. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. CLARITY AND almost no one likes it. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the 15 . make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make.C CHANGE. depending on the change. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Sometimes. Just remember this. jane@changingpeople.

I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A Story Here is a short story about change. However. © Copyright 2003. Worse. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Finding they are.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still 16 . “What?” you say. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. You are feeling bright and chirpy. You are speechless at first. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. It may ring a bell with you.

What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen.. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.. or determined to make more effort. yes. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. That is a fact to record on the top line. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier.But then. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. For example. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. joy of joys. So. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. no one but you is going to see this. did it make you sad. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. For example. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. don’t just focus on the 17 . and. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. vulnerable. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. angry. Use two different colours if you like. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner.

The same principle applies to you. and therefore our feelings. our responses to change are individual and personal. At first. Then. Actually. as the dawn progresses. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. our thoughts. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. For example. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was 18 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. However. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. no one makes us feel anything. One may approach it in a positive way. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. Dawns. Obviously. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. But as the sun rises. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. are funny things. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. © Copyright 2003. another to frown and feel aggrieved. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. however. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. while another may be much more fatalistic. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. Similarly with our responses to change. Sometimes. They begin almost imperceptibly. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. overloaded message units and repressed fears. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others.

preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. clumsy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). apprehension and fear. relaxation. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. When this 19 . Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. inept. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. however. © Copyright 2003. but will actually consider them an order. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. Giving you the feeling of freedom. you start to believe it yourself. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. Be absolutely clear about what you want. even our physical health and well being. need or want. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. confused or fearful. see the right path. detailed imprint of what you desire. you are in essence training your mind. Ultimately. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. If you are starting to feel anxious. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. you do not need to feel this way. Unfortunately.anxiety and emotions. confidence. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. For example. remember “dawn” can and will happen. given enough time and repetition.

“The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. so. Know that no matter what things might look like.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. in addition. does and will continue to offer you what you need. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. all of your life. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. yoga. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. mold them and do it over and over again. Guide them. It does make a difference. then the real fun can start. it is a journey. It’s the life in your years. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your 20 . realizing all the possibilities available to you. As Abraham Lincoln once said. you are actually living the life you want. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. confidence and trust. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. want and desire. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. with clarity. If you want a New Beginning. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. you need to be aware. abundance.achieving prosperity. you always have a choice. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. Trust that the Universe has. You will feel stronger.” So live your life fully.

yellow balloon. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. engage and listen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. It is important not to go looking for your sign. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. The problem is that we communicate differently. © Copyright 2003. dolphins . Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. look and listen. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show 21 . COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. I truly believe that faith. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. courage.knowing. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. our answers are all around us. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk.

E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. possibly even throws things when angry. however. In relationships. among other things.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. the way we communicate with each other. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is 22 . Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. whatever when upset. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. if you ask a physical if they are cold. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. it isn’t. Communication. First. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. is so much more than simple questions. It is the physical who yells. cries. opposites really do attract. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. These two types. © Copyright 2003. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. how they can come apart. people don’t realize just how true this is. So. they will answer yes or no. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. but E&P affects. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. An example would be. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. enjoys spur of the moment activities. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. and how natural and normal this is. screams. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Words have power. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. Also. It becomes a vicious circle. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. however is just one part of communication. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. © Copyright 2003. Conversely. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest 23 . It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. We heal from physical injuries. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Remember though. self-confidence. This E&P communication. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. You had to be strong. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. you can see how this could be problematic. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. Since we tend to project our thoughts. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. the more the physical pushes. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. they can ruin lives. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack.The same thing occurs when communicating. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say.

what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. this planet needs you. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself 24 . wider and stronger each and every day. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. beautiful heart and so much love to give. but not only that. by working it. your talent. call out for help. intelligence and compassion. is powerful beyond belief. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. Your life depends on it After all. keep your thoughts strong. throughout your life entire life. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Also.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. find out what you can do. each of us. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Think and dream about your future. dreams and desires. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. leave. As a matter of fact. © Copyright 2003. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. This is why “words” do have so much power. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. someone will answer. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. The same holds true for what you hear. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. But most of all. Make some calls.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. But you are wrong. You know because I say it over and over again. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. bad relationship and can keep on going. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby.

words can hurt you.Each of us. And that’s really what venting to another person is. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. Vent when you are alone. wife. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Once said they are out there forever. husband. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. our child. words can destroy you. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. scream and yell and swear all you want. © Copyright 25 . But when you are with someone you care about. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification.

DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. According to is created. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. suicidal feelings. and just like any other habit. but in essence they are just like any other habit. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . Dr. No one is born with such a brain -. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is important to cultivate a sense of is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. As research continues in this area. Jill Ammon-Wexler. AND -. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. conditions and illnesses. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Researchers like Dr. In fact. if this work fulfills its potential.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. DIETING. depression. however. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts.D DEPRESSION. sleep problems and/or 26 . Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”.even into very advanced old age. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. thought patterns and thought habits. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. Miller goes on to stress. In addition. Mood is affected by dozens of is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. © Copyright 2003. According to Dr. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. if we want to. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I don’t want to be around negative people. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow.use it or lose it. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. What we think. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. etc. I just want to be happy. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. even more importantly. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. “unhappy”. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience….Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles 27 . What it does understand. © Copyright 2003.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. Think about that a moment. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. what we say to ourselves. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. “disappointed in my relationships”. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. though. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. fulfilled life.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. healthy muscles.

The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this.D. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Massachusetts. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Fixing one problem can often help the other.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Reflect on the positive. Ph. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. including cancer. Take responsibility for your thoughts. So. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Bruce Cohen. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.” observes Dr. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. reflect on the contrary. epilepsy. October 18. When you can take a truth and internalize it. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. whether it is physical or emotional. When there is negative thinking. Pay attention to what you are thinking. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). with the aid of 28 . it will continue to go on. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. heart disease. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected.. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. on a subconscious level. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Woman’s World. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. 2005. subconscious level. is originating on a deeper. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. 100 times more. Parkinson’s disease.

scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. particularly among our young people. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. now again we are hearing.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. test or theory. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). especially our young women. sometimes to death. and of course. the second diet was only three meals a day. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. diet and weight. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. we are really only getting part of the story. but in addition. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. and these are serious issues indeed. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. When most of us think about diet and weight. NewBeginnings 29 . we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. First we were told that fat. then we were told maybe it isn’t. The first diet included six small meals a day. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. © Copyright 2003. And throughout all of it. we just don’t want to do it. it seems as if all the doctors. people. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Part of one study. Chocolate was bad for you. especially in the United States. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. any kind of fat. never a comparison with all the other studies. according to the New York Times. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. Confusing. is bad for you. The truth is. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem.

In fact. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. © Copyright 2003.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. a lack of fulfillment. by taking control of our thoughts. As we live our lives. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. one of the first things I tell them is. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. both emotional and physical. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. it can include abandonment issues. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. weight issues are rarely just about weight. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. With the internet available to all of us. confidence or happiness. 30 . Releasing negative thoughts. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. Knowledge is indeed power. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. and getting the right kind of support and advice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just as with any weight.

fear. though just an illusion. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. You can continue the work on your own. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. observe how you feel. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. what do you think about. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. I keep going back to this one phrase. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. what do you see. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful 31 .Knowledge. Look at yourself. that we keep going back to it. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. take control of your thoughts and change your life. This is. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. So wonderful. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. in fact. what does your world look like.e. though is not just about external fact. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. © Copyright 2003. If you don’t like i. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious.

resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. fear. depression. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. any negative experience. posttraumatic stress disorder. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. While EFT certainly has it share of critics.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. ENERGY. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. anger. Not a hypothetical path. As I’ve written before. has no value of its own. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. EMOTIONS. general stress. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. a negative experience itself. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. including depression. addictions and phobias. © Copyright 32 .

© Copyright 2003. to addiction. emptiness and anxiety. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. With regard to addictions.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative 33 . EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. do not use self-hypnosis. and more importantly. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. As stated earlier. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. weight loss to pain and illness. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. war trauma or severe physical illness. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. EFT can help with both the cravings. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. understanding the negative experience is not enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. With or without hypnosis. deprivation. In addition. Remember. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning.

studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Ryke Geerd Hamer. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. hurt. even more importantly. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. but our physical health as well. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. accidents and increased workplace injuries. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. hurt and unforgiveness. By forgiving. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. hostility.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic 34 . Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. meditation. Likewise. It can even be linked to suicide. For example.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. resentment. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. One such study by Dr.

but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. pathogens. etc). keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. such as genetics. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. vaccines. that we are out of balance. In most cases of cancer. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it prevents depression. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. etc. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. exposure to toxic substances. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath.specifically. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Throughout this book you will find theories. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). but it is not. diet. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. whole grains. white flour. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. your physical health is at risk as well if you do 35 . Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. seems somewhat contradictory. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. In addition to nurturing your mind. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth.

opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life.who have the ability to relax more fully. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. Hypnosis can help you. or an inability to let go and just relax. © Copyright 36 . you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While listening to your hypnotherapist. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. So. imagery. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. but balance will return. stress. your mind and body relax more and more deeply.

• Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. Eat the right foods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Their phytonutrients . like heavily processed foods as well as corn. garlic liberally. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. 37 . It helps if you put your fork down between bites. Healthy fats. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. whole grains. 2. Drink more water. The indigestible parts of fruits. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. aiming for 30 to 50 times. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. which as we know reduce inflammation. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. nuts. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. primary by reducing the inflammation. FEAR. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. Chew properly. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Fiber.F FABULOUS. soy. Increase your intake of fish. © Copyright 2003. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1.carotenoids in carrots. until the food becomes liquid. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. safflower and vegetable oils. try counting the chews in each bite. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Fruits and vegetables and spices. turmeric.

our tissues. Our blood is what creates our cells. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). our skin. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. 3. our hair. Eat homemade food. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. which creates less gas. 5. As a matter of fact. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. The solution: Sweat. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. take deep breaths. Breathe. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. but so will saunas and hot baths. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every 38 . Pesticides. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Regular exercise should make you sweat. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. chemicals from manufacturing. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Detox is a relative term.) If under pressure at meals. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. our organs. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. chew. But breathing is also effective. 6. 4. Any form of exercise helps. Losing weight gradually . The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. Detox. Sweat – cleans up your system.

hydrogenated fats. refined flours. improving your healthy well-being. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Laugh. boost mood. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. © Copyright 2003. Have a home-made facial. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. 9. etc. Take the laughter yoga class. fried foods. NewBeginnings is delicious. Have sex. focused. I call it facial meditation. 7. grains.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. releases ‘happy’ 39 . Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. 10. meats. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. fats.consists of slow. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. our jobs. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. relaxes your body. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. bread. Tai chi -moving meditation . you sure can laugh at one. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. diary products. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. our relationships. Even if you can’t tell a joke. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . 8. and improve overall health. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. We have to learn how to prioritize our health.

that one and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. it keeps us from making a big mistake. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. That one thing is FEAR. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. NewBeginnings FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. what we expect. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. a short while. or even worse. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. mood swings. fear of failure. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. fear of success. one thing seems to come up most frequently. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. though. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. healthy and joyous life you want. insomnia or lack of energy. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. FEAR: fear of change.naturalcounselor. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do 40 .

pretend and let our imaginations 41 . There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. Something that is important to you right now. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. 2. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. We were told to grow up. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. and life just gets better and better. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. When you have specific. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As children we were free to play. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. for the most part. in order to be an adult. get out your list and read it again. But. the more vibrant and alive we become. we were told to leave those dreams behind. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). If you haven’t done so already. afraid of disappointment. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. write down your goals and if you did write them down. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. relationships. Your goals must be your very own. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. the more connected we feel. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. career and health because you are afraid of failing. the world of adults. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. instead. we are afraid to dream.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. as we grew older. have a reasonably happy life. This is wrong. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. Be honest. we have chosen. friends and lovers live this kind of life. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. © Copyright 2003. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. and grow up.

doing something 42 . Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. even though we would gladly give it if asked. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. When you say your affirmations out loud. life coach or whomever and ask for support. 4. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Sometimes. it’s hard to focus. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. laughing. if your goal is to run a marathon.3. Use them. 5. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. parent. Remember the Power of Affirmations. a powerful tool. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. Focus. push yourself to ask for help now. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. As an example. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. though. crying and so on. FOCUS Look around you. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. breathing things. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. You know. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend.

you are bombarded with millions of message units. © Copyright 2003. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. sight. our subconscious is able to do this for 43 . psychological imbalances. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. whether asleep or awake. Over time. confront the situation as needed. and its effects may be positive. negative or neutral to our mental. smell and hearing. physical and emotional well-being. success and fulfillment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. interpersonal and relationship problems. touch.taste. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. though. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. though. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. recorded on brain and body cells. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Luckily. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. health. The subconscious processes everything. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. During the course of a day. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. that release. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. It disables your emotional resources. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. affirmative statements. forgive and accept forgiveness. This is commonly referred to as memory. When we go through periods of stress. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. it still exists in our subconscious. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. resentment or anger.

fear and anxiety. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’.net 44 . you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Once learned. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. This not only applies to a current. 2. anger. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. 5. During the Releasing session. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. laughter and perspiration. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. 3. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. They are also © Copyright 2003. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. 4. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. Even when we sleep long hours. existing situation. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. tears. 6. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

can be done alone. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 8. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of 45 . including health care professionals and clergy. “I release (relevant emotions. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. as a Soul. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. © Copyright 2003. and your body and life are the printout. sadness. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). etc. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. As people from all backgrounds.). she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. function as a computer operator.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. once learned. have learned. the Releaser is asked to state. such as anger. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself.” 7. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. disappointment. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. and feeling great. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. the brain is your biological computer.

net 46 . When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. This same principle works the same way for emotions. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. though. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. thoughts and ideas. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Not only in your own relationships. Without goals. Sometimes. A really simple way to test this theory is this. If you think about anger. take the color blue for example. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. not only does life get depressing. Each of us is already whole. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. your current life situation. whether it is an emotion. Think of it as a game. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. “I don’t know what I want. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. A state of being is not an emotion. not really happy. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. Conversely. We find ourselves drifting along. something that is crucial to goal setting. After you’ve done this. if you think about a color. I don’t know about you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fun. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. a diversion to keep life interesting. You choose what you want in your life. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. an activity or a thing. meaningful and exciting.

they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. they will never be overwhelming. But you can’t manifest everything you want. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. © Copyright 2003. it just means you make an adjustment. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. sometime weekly. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. Adjustments are a good thing. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. change is the whole point. 47 . If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). doesn’t mean I can have him. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. If you do this regularly. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. not if you want to improve your life. keeps us feeling alive. simple Measurable. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. Don’t forget about free will. it would be a boring and scary world. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. He’s got free will just as we all do.

Remember. set those goals. 48 . © Copyright 2003. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.

imagery.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. Working from the inside out. In a pilot study published in 1999.. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. © Copyright 2003. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. there is “some overlap with meditation” 49 . visualization and positive suggestions. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. by using specific. Ph. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It can help relieve pain. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. relieve depression and so much more. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. turning some functions on and others off. speed up healing after surgery. As David Spiegel. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. and help strengthen the immune system. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself.D. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).H HEALING. lower blood pressure. releasing negative thoughts. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production.

the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . For the client who wishes to quit smoking. The suggestions. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. soothing kind of treatment. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. Every 15 minutes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and 50 . must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. During the operation. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. and the third received standard care. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. that’s because it is. in terms of levels of pain.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. empathic care provider and hypnosis. Arreed Barabasz. anxiety and the need for painkillers. © Copyright 2003. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. though. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time.

all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness.” Using imaging technology. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. On average. A journey that you can now control. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. involving more than 330 patients. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. experienced less pain.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. then the real fun can start. Once again. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. the brain’s manager and planner. If you think you are seeing color. psychologists say. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others.” says Spiegel. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. the hypnotized patients used less medication. While in the trance. NewBeginnings 51 . which could account for heightened attention.” says Marc Schoen. Spiegel and Lang found. realizing all the possibilities available to you. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. “It’s not just a fantasy. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. And this list goes on and on. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. you actually see it. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. In effect.

you can do this exercise while 52 . If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. stress. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. tension and minor frustrations. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. Try it once and feel the results.jealously. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. we each have to deal with something. As we each move through life. Problems that we encounter every single day. With a bit of practice. rude or just plain nasty people. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. When I say fuel. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. fear. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). unpleasant. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. this spark can grow a little dim. All life starts as a spark. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. © Copyright 2003. Some little problem or some big problem. We have to cope with irritating. resentment. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. Each incident throughout the day affects us. though. My purpose is to help them remember. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. hurt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. hurt.

© Copyright 2003. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. you will feel refreshed. Try hypnosis. anything at all about yourself. If there is anything in your world. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. Some pleasant. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal.” Using hypnosis. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. every message unit. According to Stephen Kosslyn. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. however. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. and much better about yourself. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. comfort. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. but the results will amaze and delight you. euphoria and control of your life again. you create a vivid. feel or react. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable 53 . a professor of psychology at Harvard. clarity. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. not only will you feel better immediately. The more visual and real you make your goal. more positive thoughts. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. relaxed. As a result.

Conversely. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. what we say to ourselves.” What we think. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. What we experience as feelings. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. once wrote. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. fear or confidence. mend your ways. who I especially admire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and change your life . heal your body. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. As stated in Woman’s Cheryl is talking about imagery. However. More and more doctors as well as patients. Simply put.” Cheryl O’Neil. The brain is simply another organ in your body. can often help the other. feel more loved. etc. fixing a problem in one place. create passionate relationships. depressed © Copyright 2003.I IMAGERY. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. failure or success. etc. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. good or bad. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. www. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. Never. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. boost your mood. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. September 26. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. build determined by the thoughts you think. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting 54 .. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Your ability to overcome obstacles. 2006. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Private & Group Coaching. Go with your first impression you get from each card. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Self Esteem. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. use a deck of cards. Law of Attraction. You know that 58 . Reiki. 98% of the time I am right. Abundance.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Another way I practice is with elevators. “What we think about we bring about. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it Meditation. You rise above thinking in mediation. The fourth part is training your mind. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given © Copyright 2003. Motivation. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%.

and if so. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. That’s the truth of love. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and 59 . It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. It is essential to communicate clearly. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. If you can cool down. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. succeed. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. projections. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. You want to stop what you are feeling. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. you may go into a rage. You want revenge. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. in control of yourself and your partner. You feel violated. delusions. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. envy. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. no matter what that entails.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. You want to see them become more of who they are. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. enjoy their life. and grow. Often. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are angry. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again.

Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. not within the relationship. you cannot. If your relationship is based on Attachment. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a 60 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It does not. If you can do this. you cannot make a person love you.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. Jealousy is like an onion. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. the jealousy resides within you. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. You can give yourself the gift. © Copyright 2003. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If you move inward and look at yourself. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner.

And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. This is natural and normal. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. This is projecting. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Projection. This insight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. Another layer can be guilt. the truth behind what you are feeling. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Look at the reality.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Going down to an even deeper layer. really look and analyze them. Look at your 61 . Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. The truth is that for most of us. envy. It is their own. Another layer is projection. We think that we should be able to rise above it. there is nothing to feel guilty about. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. These all grow out of expectation. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. we find envy. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. guilt or anger. You do not own it. you can reach self-awareness.

Hypnosis can help. you can watch that love radiate out for all. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. frequently they are not real. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. They come from our past. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. You become vulnerable. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. If you are experiencing jealously. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. Surrender to it. fear of not being worthy of love. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. you become yourself possessed. the resentment and the hurt. Fear of loss. then what you are experiencing is not love. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. Open your heart and mind to it. You do not need to experience jealously. let that guide you. fear of being alone. You can choose to move away from those feelings. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. If you find yourself doing this. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. but attachment. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Once you release the anger. our childhood. Perhaps you fear abandonment. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger 62 . © Copyright 2003. look deep within yourself at these feelings. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. When you love. they still don’t meet your expectations. When you attempt to possess another person. If you love someone. and let that be who you are. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. By looking deep within.

or 63 . we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. all of which determine our future. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. if you prefer. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. present and future and because of this. There is no judgment involved. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable.K KARMA. Jain. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. but generally the concept is basically the same. Most people © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just a thought. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives.

although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. In the Shang dynasty in 64 . and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. As stated above. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. In the belief systems of many cultures. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. © Copyright 2003. which is a huge component of the human psyche. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. If you are not satisfied with your life. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. prophet. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. saint or seer. but fate makes no allowance for free will. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. fate and destiny are not the same. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life.associate Destiny with fate. participate and change the direction you are heading. Step in. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. Fate implies no choice.

If you want to be a famous singer write that down.00 a year income. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract.000. LIFE. For example. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. What ever it is. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. LOVE. The concept of the law of attraction is. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. that can help you with exactly that. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative.” It’s about where you put your focus. The old saying. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. start by writing it down. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. “What you think about will happen in your life. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. “Let the chips fall where they may”. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal 65 . LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. is a good analogy.

That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. etc. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. talk to those people. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. allowing it to happen is vital. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. You have made it clear. pay attention. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. There is something there to be learned or gained. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Now that you have set this up. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. I promise you it will show up. Now the key here is to follow up with this. you then attracted 66 . You asked for what you wanted. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. now grab it. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. pay attention to what happens next. don’t panic. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want.

net 67 . I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money.” And I realized as she told me this. life is messy. www. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. maybe © Copyright 2003. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. Individual Coaching. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. Group Coaching. whatever that may entail because that’s your As a Life Coach / Business Coach. you used them to learn about a different package. she said “You didn’t waste those years. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. The sooner we realize and accept that. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. that is the Universe telling you go….GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. who has no idea that she is. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. tele-classes and resources are offered. So live your life. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. Go to my web site for more information. Not only that. You never.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. a very wise LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. She told him something I want to share with all of you. originally thought of. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic.qualifiedlifecoach. It is never wasted and it is never lost. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. v. I was reminded 68 . When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. Definition: To pity. t. com·pas·sion. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. often including a desire to help. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. never have. compassion and faith. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. [Obs. First.] Shak. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. partnered. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. healing. I’m not sure why exactly. A noun. © Copyright 2003. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. I know. dating. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. living this life to experience love.” When we talk about compassion. you are perfect.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. romance. all kinds of love. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. sex. some which I like and others not so much. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. but yes. then. trust . We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. married or alone.

as well. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. work with or just come into contact with. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. then maybe.Another thing that is so important to remember. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. Give yourself a break. My only question to your would be this. measurable phenomenon. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. heal others and yourself. and. Instead of listening to that old record. can start to love themselves as well. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. those we live with.K. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. nobody can make it for you. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. Luck is a real. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to 69 . lazy or self-indulgent. that negative voice in your head. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. in the process. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). with all their faults. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. one that you can get behind. someone around you. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. then someone else. © Copyright 2003. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O.

Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. In the past. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. 2007 article. As Dr. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. the depression and the cause of that depression. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007.” Michael Craig Miller. “Depression may look like a single disease. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. (Harvard Medical School). I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. with all these statistics facing us. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have.. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. During the past 50 years. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. M. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures.D. This can make treatment especially difficult. but the underlying causes vary. Depression can manifest in many different forms. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. certainly not for a real man. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. February 26. sex. or even make the depression worse.M MALE DEPRESSION. and so do the ideal treatments. And 70 .e. In addition.

hurt. This is not easy. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. Woman’s World. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. fear or anger that you are experiencing. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. without help. guilt and depression. difficult and painful process.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. There are detours that we must take. love and happiness beyond measure. smooth and without bumps or potholes. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. During the course of this journey and these detours. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. Sometimes. Working from the inside out. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. When you recognize that this is occurring. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. October 18. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. As Dr. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. As I quote above. resentment. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. however. 2005. bitterness. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. helping you regain strong mental-health. fear. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. Using © Copyright 2003. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. you take back control of your own life. the healing process.. Hallowell. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. When this occurs. Edward M. Ph. without wanting or meaning to. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective 71 . The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. When you release the hurt.D. With the aid of hypnotherapy.

© Copyright 2003. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. a German physician. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Ryke Geerd Hamer. hostility. This has been proven by Dr. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. NewBeginnings 72 . meditation. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Holding onto anger.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. Dr. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. drug abuse and depression. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. can lead to serious food addictions. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.000 brain scans. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. but our physical body as well. hurt. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. including diet. eating disorders. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. resentment. pathogens. In addition. alcoholism. With the help of 20.

Ph. This is a way of thinking. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. etc. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. but to your thoughts as well. I have been there and there is a way out. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.D. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. guide them in a positive direction. In addition to nurturing your mind. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. It requires that you develop a success mind. and this applies to any negative emotion. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. use it and use it frequently. etc). yoga can help. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. Meditation 73 . Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Success is largely an inner game. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. vaccines. Success is a process of continually learning new information. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. and © Copyright 2003. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. white flour. thought or image. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. whole grains. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. if you focus on anger. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. Believe me. anger is what you will bring into your life. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions.exposure to toxic substances.

It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. fear of hard work. This is one of the laws of success. make adjustments along the way. and create new realities. possibility is in the dreaming. but also change the world. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. © Copyright 2003. if you talk to any star athlete. learn from your 74 . Yet. you simply need to start. or successful businessperson. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. The success mind trains itself to ask. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. Take time to dream. You will have to change to be successful. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. and keep moving forward. see unlimited possibilities. conditioning. Take action. generate new ideas. foster creativity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. inventor. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). fear of failure. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. hardship. Fear of change. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. and failure. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. While success requires action. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. the less we fear them. fear of what other people will think. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. fear that we are not good enough. exploring one more option or opportunity. Develop a process to examine your fears. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. Gather new information. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences.

your actions. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. Question. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying 75 . As you do this. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. adventure. challenge. think. your feelings. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. Not simply because you say yes. form opinions. But once you say no to an opportunity. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Mental toughness. you will create even more opportunities for growth. and grow. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. Your thoughts. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. try on new perspectives. Remember. You continue to grow. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. experience. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. and success. your world and your success. It is never too late to develop your success mind.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. When you say yes. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. The time to begin is now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you likely will feel fear. create. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life.

Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. lawyer. performance coach. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. J. directed. Inc. and smart action. Dream big and take consistent.success and rewards your effort. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. happier. and healthier lives. mediator. is President of Best Life Design. redirect the effort. make corrections. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail..D. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.molliemarti. Visit her at or www. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.bestlifedesign. © Copyright 2003.D. Mollie Marti. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live 76 for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Stop caring what other people think. engage again and refuse to quit. Ph. better. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.

reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. linguistics and computer science. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. sports. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. © Copyright 2003. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sales.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. and interpersonal influence. There is. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. John Grinder. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. NLP has found little support within the psychological 77 . Unfortunately. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. however. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. Robert Dilts. management training. However.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. use Yellow) money. fire. Also. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. health healing. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. Use it for minor headaches. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Whether it makes us happy or sad. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. red would probably not be the best color to use. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. remember that red not only represents life force. You have the power to change your perception. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. growth. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. occurrence. © Copyright 2003. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to 81 . think we are making progress or stagnating. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. activity. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

Once you have faced your phobia. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. It can be done in person and over the phone. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. Take control. After you are put into a hypnotic state. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or 82 . but it is not a gift at all. there will be no emotional response. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. If you are suffering from a phobia. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. Depending on the phobia. Perception is a powerful thing. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. Relief is truly immediate. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. You are then taken back to the phobia again. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. But the results tend to be permanent. control it and use it wisely. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. it can make your life almost unbearable. By the time your therapist is done. this is how it works. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. © Copyright 2003. Sometimes. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. Basically. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. this power.

Frequently they are a result of fear. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. however. joyful and full life filled with love. fun.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. Mollie W.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. © Copyright 2003. even fear of success. Fear of change. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. money as well. fulfillment and yes. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Marti. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. and not just money or things. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. you will enjoy them immensely. fear of failure. and not just a lack of money or things. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. both written by Dr. prosperity includes a rich. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. happiness. In order to accomplish this. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. it may be necessary to make some changes. thinking and dreaming. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind 83 .

All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. Grand Unified Theory. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. and hear it. instead. Theory of Everything. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In the dream it all seems very real. They exist within consciousness. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. independent and apart from us. Unified Field Theory. standing as a physical world. and tangible. String Theory. However real and external these images may seem. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. around us. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. Time. touch it. because what was a mechanical. the Copenhagen Interpretation. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. external universe. EPR Paradox. Quantum Gravity. touch. © Copyright 2003. M-Theory. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. in about three or four paragraphs! So. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. smell. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Supersymmetry.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. We can see it. not the other way around. solid. Loop Quantum Gravity. they are all phenomena within the mind. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. taste. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. in addition. Superstring Theory. Schroedinger’s Cat. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. space. separate from us. however. It appears undeniably to be out there. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. as I started to research this a bit. utterly real. hear. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are 84 .

Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. Cool. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.So. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. and there’s only one real way to do that. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. huh? So. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your 85 . Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.

RELEASING. congratulations. possibly even throws things when angry. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. read on. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. In addition. © Copyright 2003. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. cries or screams when upset. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. It is the physical who yells. However. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. These two distinct types. our behavior patterns. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this.R RELATIONSHIPS. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical 86 . I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. if you are not. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. Unfortunately. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. First. how they can come apart.

next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. the relationship is of primary importance to her. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. then hobbies. what the priorities of each are. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. This is natural. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. outgoing. She is happy. She on the other hand. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. secure and © Copyright 2003. Next would be their children. his career. For the physical. In relationships. Their first priority is their career. Let’s cover very briefly. he cannot understand why. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. And boy do they do relate. When they first meet. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. When his partner complains that they never see each other. But let’s look into the future several months. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After 87 . longer hours at the office. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. To her partner it is his career. When I say E&P attraction. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. The emotional. is quite a bit different. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. So he starts spending more time at work. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. I really do mean attraction. on the other hand. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. With the physical female. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. And that’s a good thing.

the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. Interestingly enough. © Copyright 2003. With communication you can understand each other. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. Release anger.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Plenty. releasing occurs naturally. Sometimes. What can be done about this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. The process is quick. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. to get clear on your goals for the future. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. 88 . fear and guilt. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. sadness. When we are healthy and balanced. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. When you understand how the other thinks. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. though. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. communication is key to any successful relationship. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. This is done through imagery and suggestion.

Negative expectations. Both techniques are effective. positive thoughts. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. Ph.D. use your downloadable sessions first. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 89 . it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. physical. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. That may been all you need at this time. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. process and recall information. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. If your subconscious is ready. unpredictability and lack of control. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. and emotional states. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. doubts. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. body and emotions. fears. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. hurt. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. anger. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you.

” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. It’s going to be a gloomy. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Rest is any activity. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. taking in a deep breathe. For example. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of 90 . each and every day. You give energy away to other people. reading a book. you are ready for it. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Many rituals are quite simple. boring day. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. You wake up and your first thought might be. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. make a choice to expect positive results. Think and say. “It’s gray and cloudy. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. As you add them to your day. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. in and of © Copyright 2003. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Rather.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. build in ways to recoup your energy. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. and in countless other interactions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. over the telephone. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. You spend mental. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. to your computer. As you spend energy during the day.

fatigue. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. and discarding the emotion. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. nervousness. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anger. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. rhythmic breathing. linking it with a unique physical action. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. Influence Management: Before any performance. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. You’ve © Copyright 91 . it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity.itself. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. and anxiety. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. after working at your computer for an hour. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. frustration. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. For example. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. guilt. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. which is pleasurable and restorative. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. When you carry negative emotions like fear. you are less able to concentrate on your task. After a 90-minute presentation. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls.

works well. If you are in your office or in a conference room. it also had drifted off. or a clock on the wall. try to use the same type of focal point.simply applied a band-aid. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. . “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. Yet. . What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. Before you perform. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. I “turn on” my full engagement. a piece of art. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. As I cross the line. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . If you travel. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. such as a doorframe. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. Any time you get distracted. consciously look at your focal point. A tangible engagement cue. even if it is a good thing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. back to my task. As you travel or perform in different locations. It immediately precedes the performance and says. For example. prior to a presentation or meeting. body and emotions that it is time to perform. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. This leads to a less than stellar performance. She chose a cloud as her focal point. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. I image a red line on the floor. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. “ 92 . can be viewed as a distraction. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. but when it came time to start. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. you might choose a banner. © Copyright 2003.

and working mother to help others design and live their best life. J.. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life.D. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. lawyer. happier. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. and food as relaxation or coping 93 . Ph.bestlifedesign. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. is President of Best Life Design. better. This means that if you get away from your rituals. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. It will throw you off. they will provide great consistency. Mollie Marti.D. performance coach..Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. and success. As part of this process. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. it won’t feel right. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. successful entrepreneur. © Copyright 2003. Visit her at www.molliemarti. mediator. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. NewBeginnings or www. Inc. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. and healthier lives. alcohol. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. including caffeine and adrenaline. If you cannot identify your rituals.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. fish. oats. garlic. fear. moodiness and nervousness. sesame seeds. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. worry. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin be one of the first things that goes. seafood. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. irritability. cabbage. blood sugar fluctuations. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Vitamin B12. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. mustard greens. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. etc. Calcium. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Almonds. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. apricots. Calcium rich foods are almonds. leafy vegetables. irritability. bananas. apples. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. chronic fatigue. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. prunes. You need eat more avocados. asparagus. Vitamin B6. brown rice. kelp. 97 . Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. kale. depression. such as hormonal imbalances. © Copyright 2003. exhaustion. impatience. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. salmon. depression. Unfortunately. causing irritability and nervousness.

carrots and turnips). you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. mushrooms. salmon. our cortisol levels drop. Kiss. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. barley. such as a squishy ball. but if something happens to us. Call a friend. oatmeal. you must © Copyright 2003. though.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. green leafy vegetables. legumes. Squeeze a squishy ball. Start squeezing something. root vegetables (such as potatoes. a founder of NaturalCounselor. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Sing. tuna and whole grains. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. mood swings. Bottom line though. lentils. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. dates. brown rice. our family? So let us be stress smart. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners.Folic acid. In addition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. who will take care of our children. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. I know mine always have been). nobody will. Walk. oranges. to work away your tension. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep 98 . See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. Foods rich in folate are asparagus.naturalcounselor. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. insomnia or lack of energy.

because you cannot stand still. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. Energy is constantly in motion. a feeling. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. According to the laws of physics. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example. but to the energy of the present moment. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. If you wake up today affirming an illness. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. if you are having a problem with 99 . you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. I used to feel that way often. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. I know I have. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. If you wake up today focusing on debt. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. If you understand that. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living.

for most people.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Ph. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. In a pilot study published in 1999. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. for example. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. really.” Ginandes says. Hypnosis. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. it doesn’t matter why it 100 .” So. You need to make room for change. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. the truth is. meanwhile. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Pain sufferers. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. And..” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. Ph. You don’t have to create change. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. During the sessions.D. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. our results suggest. can influence the body to heal itself. In a follow-up experiment published last year. It is only important that it does. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. and elastic.D.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. smooth.

your love and your joy. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. for you happiness and your abundance.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. Remember. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. to the left or to the right. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. There is no correct answers. it is what feels best for you. If it’s behind you. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Remember. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. Take your time with 101 . Take responsibility for your life and direction. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. © Copyright 2003. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. When you have determined the directions of past and future. look down on the Time Line.

They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. I’d like you to consider another alternative. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. It can look that way to others. you made a mistake. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. Without getting specific about each of them.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. even if they cannot give it back. Sometimes what you need. you stuck by the wrong person. You need them to tell you to be strong. You procrastinated. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those 102 . This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. It might not have looked that way to others. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. © Copyright 2003. bad things just happen.

etc. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. © Copyright 2003. Picture yourself at age 80.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. you need to define what it is you want. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Spirituality. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. First. 103 . VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. 90. whatever feels right. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. another may practice Hinduism. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. 85. while another may be a Wiccan.

We grab it and cling to it like a life raft.Now think back over your life. friends. then you’ve got a problem. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. © Copyright 2003. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Perhaps you are abused. is you. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. Something very unpleasant. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. you will certainly feel violated. If it is what you believe. mugged or even raped. What value areas of your life are you happy with. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. Figure it out early. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. church and society. then your perception makes it right. or even the perceptions of our family. are you really meant to be together. Remember. Think about all the value areas of your life. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each 104 . but not only that. What you might think is wrong. However. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. What areas cause you regret. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. You might get angry.

let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood.I want you to consider something. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. it means you are not responsible for anything. etc. But now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. however. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim.” But. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. But just take a moment now and really think about it. my kids don’t show me any respect. happiness and joy available to each of us. my friends don’t understand me. for what you do and what you say. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. my mother didn’t understand me.S.. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. A rather sad. Life. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. etc. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. my husband ignores me. Here in the U. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim.. my wife doesn’t understand me. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. and society actually encourages this thought. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. It wasn’t fun. 105 . I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. my mother didn’t give me enough love. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. etc. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh.

Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. Remember. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. 2006. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. build self-confidence. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. we lose everything. As stated in Woman’s World. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. Simply. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. never © Copyright 2003. You had to be strong.who you are. etc. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. etc. each of us. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. September 26. boost your 106 . is powerful beyond belief. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. beautiful heart and so much love to give. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. If that is taken away from us . VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected..or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The woman who has come out of a nasty. eventually. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. For example. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. bad relationship and can keep on going. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. it is the ability to enjoy life. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. If we take back control. please. feel more loved. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. can often help the other. Fixing a problem in one place though.

this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. can change how your feel. your imagination. So.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. relieve pain. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. increase your 107 . you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Is essence. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. If you are feeling down. Use the power of your mind. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. © Copyright 2003. depressed or negative. yes imagery and visualization can change your life.

the only diet that had ever worked for them. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. 5. alcohol. 4. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. Not only that.. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. etc.) 3. The truth is. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. however. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. before facts have actually been verified. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. it’s good again. diet and weight.W WEIGHT. If. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. included six small meals a day. Confusing. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously.e. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. scientists. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. WORDS. refined. bleached flour. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. First 108 .

10. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 19. 17. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 18.6. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. Out of all the food you eat in a day. Has your mother. 7. © Copyright 2003. 20. 9. Do you associate a person. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior 109 . Do you eat breakfast? 15. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 8. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16.

thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. You had to be strong. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. You know © Copyright 2003. satisfaction. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can 110 . The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. by working it. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. they include abandonment issues. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. survivors. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. confidence and happiness. a lack of fulfillment. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. We heal from physical injuries. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. The second step is to take control of your thoughts.Now. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. self-confidence. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. you know that as strange as it may sound. Abuse victims. More often than not. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. having said all that. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. WRONG! Words have power. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”.

Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. lover. As a matter of fact. throughout your life entire life. Your life depends on it After all. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. intelligence and compassion. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. Make some calls. call out for help. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. And for each of us. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. your talent. keep your thoughts strong. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. Also. dreams and desires. Think and dream about your future. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. find out what you can do. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. but not only that. wife. scream and yell and swear all you want. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. Once said they are out there forever. But when you are with someone you care about. But you are wrong. wider and stronger each and every day.because I say it over and over again. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken 111 . And that’s what venting to another is. husband. someone will answer. Vent when you are alone. The same holds true for what you hear. When this occurs. This is why “words” do have so much power. I have to say this. But most of all. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. this planet needs you. words can hurt you.

we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. © Copyright 2003. If you can do this. 112 . try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when things are going smoothly. or. If you do not feel ready for that. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis.withdraw into ourselves. can help. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. much like arthritis in wet weather. Releasing sessions can work well with these. especially in interpersonal situations. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.

Whatever it is. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. the body you want. And now let those images fade completely away. © Copyright 2003. you have a decision to make. Make a promise to yourself. You can choose to live your life. When you have done this. strong. drinking. drinker. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. BINGER ETC. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. the decision becomes easy. DRINKER. energy. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Notice how you feel. Make a commitment and a decision. Notice what you see. clear and easy breathing. What do you look like. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Once you decide that you want to quit. Before you make that decision. very clearly. Wait 10-20 seconds. clear skin. are you now sure which one you want. healthy. Of these two possible futures in your life. doesn’t it?. vibrant. binger or whatever. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. what is different and 113 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Wait 10-20 seconds. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. your energy will flow in that direction. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. vital.X X SMOKER.

In making a choice. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. success. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. © Copyright 2003. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. it does not mean you will receive it. your entire belief system. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. When you first begin to work your muscles. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. For instance. Your choice must first tie into the core of your 114 . It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. a better job. you can only lift a small amount of weight. Everything in life is a choice. joy. your life script. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. you always have a choice. happiness. So. Compare it to strength training. you may never receive it.

makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes.hollygleason. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy To me. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. looking around. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down.According to Holly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. check it regularly. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. check it out at 115 . The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention.

Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. An antonym is apathy. cause. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal and the determination to further that 116 . And always remember this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. please do it with zeal and without apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. intensity and passion. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. cause. or ideal. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. fight for your dreams and your goals.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person.

ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.” “gamut spot. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and 117 . Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.” and the “sore spot.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. To make this even more effective. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can also visualize this word in your mind. © Copyright 2003. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. There are 15 points. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. While you are doing these three karate chops.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can go through the tapping process several times. 118 .Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. or AFRAID. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. This is not a sentence. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 4. 12.” © Copyright 2003. Do what feels right for you. 5. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. or DEPRESSED. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 11. or anything you want changed. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. 3.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. you can use just one or two words. 10. fear. 2. but do each issue separately. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 9. anxiety. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. 6. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 8.

slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax.” And that’s all there is to it. And as your heart fire increases. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. ideas and beliefs within yourself. resentment or negativity away. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. I love myself. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. your connection with yourself is complete. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. emotions. you also release all negative thoughts. © Copyright 2003. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. As you do 119 . By burning away all anger and negativity. hurt. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. feelings. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. uncross your arms and legs. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. And as your heart fire increases. you open all pathways to love. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart.

When you reach the © Copyright 2003. taking this time right now for myself. If another color comes to mind. Then when you are ready. hours. weeks. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. months or even years to be released. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. heal yourself and relax yourself. hear it (i. hear the waves and the birds. smell the salt. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind.e. at the beach. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4…….PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. If you feel like it and have the time. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. Then imagine or visualize white granules. See it. see the image). I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. days. cleansing breath in and let it out.. allow that color to flow in and out as 120 . smell it. anyplace. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. like salt. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. Take yourself fully into this place.

net 121 . Count from 1 to 5 two or three times.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. relationship. emotions. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. Let go of all tightness within you. or whatever it is your desire. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. © Copyright 2003. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. activity. yourself. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. happy and having fun together. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. my guy and I are in love. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. Here’s my snapshot. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. You are in control and in charge of your body. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. thoughts and feelings. You are in charge of your healing and your life.

My life is becoming more joyful on every level. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. © Copyright 2003. I vibrate with positive energy. I say to myself RANCH. With my thoughts I create my new. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I choose to forget past mistakes now. I keep saying ranch until that image. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. live in the moment and dream in the future. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade 122 . You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. positive delightful reality.

63..............5. 74. 58... 22...... 25. 113...... 43. 32.1... 89.. 78.......... 6... 78... 6..... 36. 79 dream 1... 5... 21. 42.... 37......... 94. 125 energy .... 94.. 26. 7.1.... 37......... 79 Carol Ginandes.. 24......... 60......... .... 30. 4.. 115.... 38... 94... 7. 71.. 37... 58. 5. 53....... 42. 110.. 37.5. 18. 4... 75.......... 129.2.. 107 Cheryl O’Neil .......... 46.. 38.............. 32. 98... 116 Bereavement ... 60. 97....... 101..... 52....7.. 95 © Copyright 2003.......... 4........ 21...... 101. 94..30... 78 EFT ..... 116 disease. 31... 24 eating disorders.... 55 Dawn Abraham . 60.. 94... 123........ 32........... 57.7. 63.. 126 adrenalin .... 50.......... 55 emotional freedom technique ........ 63.... 104.......... 97.... 22.. 14... 65... 38. 35.. 44...107 abuse 5. 52..... 34....... 43. 105 darkest hour ... 41.. 26. 55...... 50.. 78 cortisol ........ 50. 6... 113 Abraham Hicks ......... 31................ 19..... 97.... 35.... 5......... 72.. 27..... 89. 96.................. Ph... 99. 106. 46... 81.. 36. 35. 97... 2... 79.. 47.................. 72... 116... 105.............. 21. 71. 30.......... 79 cancer. 25........ 58... 3 Alzheimer’s ............. 95................ 91.... 76....... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma...24... 21... 114........ 102. 126..... 54........... 37...... 26. 3 addiction ...... 118 consciousness 8.125 anger ....... 121 drug abuse..88 clarity 9.. 9..... 38......3.24...... 89 fear 1. 29....... i ...2.. 129 alcoholism.. 125....... 76.. 78........ 128. 31. 45.... 39. 12 Elvira Lang .... 46... 33.. 5. 67......... 48..... 44. 56..... 21 David Spiegel.53...... 5......... 37...... 15. 78 E&P attraction ..86 Circle Therapy . 10....5. 66. 83..... 88..... 89........ 94...... 78... 35.... 73 depression ... 77.... 117.. 22... 114. 98........ 106.................. 36.... 74............21 Arreed Barabasz .. 78 alternative programs ... 32... 44.... 19........ 110 communication .. 6. 91.. 77..... 112. 45.. 44... 95. 109.. 80.2.... 47. 37. 103.. 86. 12... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att...... 5...... 35. 130 focus........... 33. 127.... 84... 44.. 124 drinking... 90 coronary disease. 104....... 27. 8. 97... 81............. 114.. 79........ 39.. 109. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ....... 126.. 78 forgiveness................. 103........... 71.. .... 1... 6.. 63.. 20.. 97...D.. 55.. 27.. 96......... 47.... 89 balance . 121. 71. 103... 74.... 93........... 30 Eric Butterworth .... 21.. 62. 28.. 92......... 45.. 41.38.... 118 acute pain. 78.... 6. 131 dreams 22. 76.....8 Adrian Calabrese.............. 61.... 90.. 95... 28.. 127...... 43. 23...... 22............ 36..30 anchor .. 88.......... 27....... 122 chronic anger . 7 attraction .. 47... 54..... 35..........86 addict . 87............... 21. 45... 32. 70... 42...D... 104.... 81. 84.......... 119.. 7. 44.. 21............ 78 chronic pain . 102.... 36. 20...... 94 baggage. 129 food addictions............ 119.... 130 epilepsy .... 3...2.... 10 binging ........ 77. 36......... 128 anxiety 7. 3.. 112 compassion ... 21. 76 desire.....Index 12-step programs .......... 122. 59...... 121.. 16................ 104........ 10. 78 affirmations... 96. 127... 57....... 114. 48.....121 blood sugar ....... 24.. 44. Ph.... 64..9....... 56....58 choice2.... 130 apprehension.. 6........ 119 confidence... 60.... 60. 6.... 114. 81.. 35. 94........ 52... 106. 129 diet .. 70...... 90.. 7.. 52....... 23.... 53... 80... 104.. 8... 81.... 78.......54 association ... 102.. 38.. 35...... 79............. 32... 6.... 76............ 23. 46.... 73. 2.5.

...............3.. 13.. 5..... 37 self-esteem .. 64..... 87.. 32...... 54.. 39.. 7......................... 37. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice. 99..... 26. 17 Janet Luhrs. 113..... 115 smoking... 95............ 32...... 101.... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ..76 Hridaya Yoga. 16......... 129 resentment...... 79.. 65.............. 93...... 60.... 86.................2.......... 21. 76.... 110... 77.............. 65....... 10... 37 powerless . 7... 89. 15.. 67...... 6......... 95... 57...... 27.... 22............ 30... 76...... 21. 9.. 53. Woods . 117................. 93 message units .. 81...28 John Grinder .. 34... 8....................30 high blood pressure... 15.24 Journal of Clinical Psychology..... 57 neural interconnections .. 13. 88.. 118 self-talk . 89.....35 goal .. 107... 119 neuro-linguistic programming .... 85... 94 mood swings ... 25.......... 46. 119..... 26.........5... 67.......fulfillment ...... 35.... 55........ 67..5... 27.......... 33.. 30........ 6............ 77. 19.......... 56 hurt....... 112...... 54.. 120 relaxation .. 101....... 78........ 109......... 63...8... 37........ 54.... 105. 56......83 John Kappas.. 35.... 43. 56...... 8... 50.. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ... 43................ 118...... 53.. 74...... 58.. 119......... 83 Roger Callahan ....... 30 passive-aggressive .... 79.. 77......... 2...... 34.. 22..24..... 118 Gary Craig . 21......... 40. 10. 121 relationships24......... 42........... 110... 99..... 43........... 44. 38.....11.32 illness 36... 39. 59... 6.. 43........ 59.. 79. 58.. 117 medicine.... 83... 29 neuro pathways .7...... 77....1. 77..... 102..... 87 lose weight 4..... 6.... 60...32 hypnotherapy ..... 53. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 58.................. 51.. 107.. 10.... 115........... 75......... 78.. 47.................... 77. 87......... 37. 103.. 69... 79.... 88.. 114 imagery ........ 78.. 5.............. 5...12 habit . 32 phobia ..... 58.................54 Irina Wardas ....... 57..... 122 Ida Kendall ........ 84........ 83 Robert Dilts...10..... 94.......... 79... 122 Harvard . 114. 32.... 103... 87...... 10..... 86......... 59.............. 22......... 42.... 108 Parkinson’s disease... 127. 125 men ...... 45. 77... 21........... 38..... 31. 58...... 109.. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ....84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .7.. 125..40.. 79.. 129 grief...... 118................... 14....... 22..10..... 7.... 4.. 116 happiness ... 120..... 58.. 107 healing .. 89 phobias... 59.. 57.... 94. 43...... 53. 56...... 78...... 115.... 77... 23... 130 Judith DeLozier . 78.......... 32. 109... 78........... 59. 129 heart disease................ 83 nitric oxide .......... 58................. 6 Pat Dennis....................... 47..... 89.. 10..... 28.... 30. 120... 47..... 116..........9...... 113. 78 NLP.... 76........ 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer .... 86.. 84 panic attacks..36 joy .. 5... 47.. 42...10.. 37... 127 hypersuggestible ....... 53............... 71 life force....... 37.. 111...... 109........... 64....... 1.... 57... 47...8 hypnosis ............ 128 Richard Bandler ... 57. 52. 107.... 3. 44... 123. 125 immune suppression ... 66....... 79.... 50..... 43.. 36..37.. 77..... 29...... 110.. 36. 86 habits...... 78.....83 Law of Attraction...... 121 snapshot .... 36 Guilt ...... 37....... 30.. 56....... 122..... 49...... 37.... 9.... 54..... 29.. 118.. 35..... 128. 56. 47.... 6................. 6............. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis....... 28.. 77.. ii .. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003. 38............... 54. 37............9........... 22..... 78...... 53. 63. 105 Jane C........ 101 self-image ......... 58. 83 overload .. 46........ 78.. 113 prosperity .. 57.. 39....... 92.....

.. 79. 7..... 30.... 118...... 94........ 75.............. 78 subconscious... 95............ 106 wounds ..57 stress hormones ...... iii ........ 122 zeal..... 79 thought habits .. 5.. 2..83 Stephen Kosslyn . 77........ 122.... 46.......... 10.....28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ..... 37.......... 6... 26... 8. 112........ 110 Two Futures ............... 84. 77... 121 value areas of life................. 113............ 37.. 120 suicide................. 30...........5. 34...53 transformation........ 77. 37.......... 48............... 5......107 trigger................... 6......44...... 59..... 65....... 101.... 124 © Copyright 2003...... 34..... 80. 44........ 39.... 114 visualization.6.............. 95................ 58................. 116 Women. 85... 47........ 43. 120 yummy list .......... 91.. 45.......Stephen Gilligan .. 77........ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att... 59......... 115.......... 107.......... 38. 60.... 109.... 78. 78.. 7..................... 6............................... 22... 21. 36. 128 subconsciously.............................. 56..... 109 triggers .................. 85............... 114 triggering event . 47.... 111 victimhood ...... 29.4... 114 weight ..... 109............ 57..

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