This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
neuro pathways. feelings. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. . my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. when given the proper instructions. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. As I said before. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. emotions and perceptions.
....15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ................................................40 FOCUS ................................................................................................................................................. FOCUS...............................................................46 SMART GOALS ..................................................................................46 B..................... ADDICTION...............................................................................................................1 ADDICTION .................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE...........................................8 BEREAVEMENT ........26 DIETING ........ EMOTIONS....31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)............................................. FORGIVENESS...................... ANXIETY................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ................32 EMOTIONS...................5 ANXIETY .......................................................18 COMMUNICATION ........................3 ANGER .................................................................................................................................................................. BEREAVEMENT .......................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .......................26 DEPRESSION ...........................35 FABULOUS............................................43 GOALS .................................37 FABULOUS ...........................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...3 AFFIRMATIONS................................................................................................................. E........ CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE..... ...... AFFIRMATIONS.................. DRUGS TO ESCAPE .37 FEAR ...... F........................................................................................................ FEAR............................................. C.8 BALANCE .............................................................7 BALANCE...............TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.......................................................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS...................................... ANGER...... G....................... D....................................................... DIETING..............................................1 ABUNDANCE ......... ENERGY ..........................................34 ENERGY ................21 DEPRESSION.......................8 CHANGE.........32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)...........................
..............67 LOVE..........................80 PAIN...............81 PHOBIAS ..... ...............63 KARMA .......... HEALING................................................................ J..................................56 JEALOUSY ..................................................................54 IMAGERY............................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION...................................................................................................................63 KISMET .....................................49 HEART FIRE .68 LUCK ............................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ...............70 MALE DEPRESSION...51 HYPNOSIS......................................................................................... LIFE....... MIND SUCCESS ...............................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .59 JEALOUSY................................ M....................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .........................................................78 PAIN................................ N....................... PERCEPTION.......65 LIFE.............................84 I.....................72 MIND SUCCESS ..... P........................................................................................ LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.......................................... INTUITION........................................ HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)................52 IMAGERY......................................................................82 PROSPERITY ...................................................................................................... PROSPERITY .................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.......49 HEALING .... O..................54 INTUITION.65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ......................................... HYPNOSIS................................................................. LUCK .............................................................................59 KARMA..................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION. KISMET ............................................................................................ L.................................... Q............ LOVE.......................................................................80 PERCEPTION .......................... K................ PHOBIAS...................................69 MALE DEPRESSION...........................H.................................................77 OVERLOAD..................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).........................................................................................................................................................................................................................
.................... Y..............................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE........110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)................................................ WOUNDS ......... RELEASING.........................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.............................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ........................................................................................................................................... YUMMY LIST .................................................. ii........................108 WORDS.........................113 TWO FUTURES ...............88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ...................................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ..............111 X SMOKER........................................................................ WORDS...............103 VALUE AREAS.................................. RELATIONSHIPS.................................... T.............. X......................................... EXERCISES .. BINGER ETC .................86 RELEASING .................................. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS..........................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE...............................................114 YUMMY LIST ............................. STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)......106 WEIGHT.....................................................................116 S...............................104 VISUALIZATION ......................... i.......................................................................R......................... SELF-TALK..114 ZEAL .................................................. DRINKER......94 SELF CONFIDENCE............................................................................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT............96 STUCK ..103 VICTIMHOOD ........ Z............................................................ V........................................................................ U............................................................................................................ VISUALIZATION..................................108 WEIGHT ......................................... STUCK ........................................................... W.122 INDEX ..........99 TIMELINE THERAPY .................. VICTIMHOOD.................................... iii ......86 RELATIONSHIPS .................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE..........................94 SELF-TALK..............................................94 STRESS .....................................................
we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. excitement and yes. we don’t trust it to be real. usually as a result of fear. think we are making progress or stagnating. It is our perception of any event. indeed. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. AFFIRMATIONS. love. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. money and success. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. fear of failure. fear of success. a life that is rich and full. In order to make changes. incident. ANGER.net 1 . satisfying. © Copyright 2003. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. however. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. occurrence. even worse. As a result. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. it is filled with laughter. ADDICTION. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. Fear of change. The future. Even when we know we have this tool. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. Because of this.A ABUNDANCE. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past.
Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. you do have a choice. A tempo that is magnetic. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. at least while they are using their drug. who you can call when you feel you might slip. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. Your first step. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling.net 2 . It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is important though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. no matter what program you are going through. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. alcohol. and life just gets better and better. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. the more vibrant and alive you become. Allow that desire to flow through you. cocaine. however. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. Unfortunately. helps them suppress the pain. People without strong desires slowly whither away. at least for a while. i.e. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003.. the more connected you feel. however. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population.
time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. However. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. the addict. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.com www. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. I agree with this school of thought. though.practicalrecovery. www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.com www.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.org www. but you don’t have to.secularsobriety. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. The sooner we realize and accept that. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. A friend of mine once told me. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. so.passagesmalibu. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.net 3 .com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. then you. When you face this pain that you have been running from. if it is not done. you will forever remain an addict. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping.habitdoc. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. Many people.
that’s like moving uphill. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. • Always remember this.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. © Copyright 2003. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. Always create an image of what you want in your life. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. your computer.” the message sent to your mind.” Or say. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. Don’t let fear hold you back. when what you really mean is. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. If necessary. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. So. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. not what you want to avoid. always focus on what you want to move towards. When you do this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Be specific. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. the steering wheel of your car.” Or “I will lose weight. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally.” • State your affirmations in the positive.net 4 .” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. When you move towards what you want. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. then that means you are on the right track. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.
anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. you may see yourself as an avenger. eating disorders. If you don’t see yourself as a victim.net 5 . We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. hurt. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. drug abuse and depression. along with mourning. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. can lead to serious food addictions. alcoholism. Holding onto anger. hostility. resentment. and in small doses can be a good thing. When a relationship ends. So.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. you may blame others for your situation or condition. going from one trauma to the next. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. shaking. crying. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. In situations that cause fear. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. anger is the most common response. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In addition. and heart palpitations. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. it can be just as damaging. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. looking for justice and revenge. fatigue. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Even if we bury anger deep inside. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. When this is the case. then anger becomes a serious health risk. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. But some people seem to be angry all the time. If you see yourself as a victim. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. Not only is this destructive to you. cold hands.
you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. Unfortunately. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. coronary disease. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. expressing your anger in an indirect way. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. Remember.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Also. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. and even increased workplace injuries. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. bitterness. and can help make you more content. sarcastic.net 6 . that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. fear and hurt. and stubborn. cancer. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. and can lead to serious food addictions. it will never go away. alcohol and drug abuse. If you feel powerless. suicide. releasing your anger. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. © Copyright 2003. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. but anger that may be directed at you by others. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and depression. Power and anger are frequently related. however. In the past.
By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. shakiness. fear or anxiety. weakness. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. Also. anxiety. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. Fears. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational.). hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. mood swings. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. etc. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear or anxiety. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. driving a car. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. being home alone. nausea. flying.net 7 .
then it would make him happy as well. a perfect balance. Sometimes we need reminders. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year.net 8 . and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. right? Yes and no. Twelve hours of day and night. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. place or thing that can make you happy. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. you know. Good advice. I told him the usual stuff. The problem was. Just think about that a moment. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. that happiness must come from within ourselves. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. then he’d really truly be happy. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy.B BALANCE. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. Happiness. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. getting involved with a church. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. No matter what you hear. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. No one can tell you how to be happy. let them be a reminder to look inside. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. it didn’t work. There isn’t another person. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox.
That means stop analyzing everything so much. They allow you to clear out the old. and in doing so. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. even the words we use.net 9 . This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. No matter how hard we may try. It will. fulfillment and life find you. job or whatever you are seeking. the right kind of suggestions. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. You are able to access your subconscious. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. lover. goal. jane@changingpeople. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. they allow the subconscious to grow strong.co. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. In this state. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. happiness. feeling. stop thinking it to death. Whether it’s an emotion. our voice. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. to balance the light and dark within yourself. desire. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Woods. if we are angry. working for you. NewBeginnings email@example.com Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. But even more than that. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you.
© Copyright 2003. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. for example. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. and generally we prefer not to think about it. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such.the intensity and duration may differ. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. It is an immutable part of the human condition.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. To a degree that can be true. letting relevant people know. you must do what is right for you. just a little. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK.net 10 . And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That said. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. and so on. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). However. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved.
this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. a normal response. recognizing it and naming it. “If I do this. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. disconcertingly. and just plain wrong. once the first shock waves have abated. or those suffering alongside us. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. we may need to be told several times. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. Some enlightened doctors know. Often that is enough. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. This is where someone less involved can offer help. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. we may be compelled to visit the scene. is a refusal to believe the news.Denial A second common response. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. uncaring. We may need evidence. when they are breaking bad news to patients. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. © Copyright 2003. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. It is unrealistic but again.net 11 . For example. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. Help them tell you their feelings. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. or for feeling angry. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person.net 12 . To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. just let it go. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. how to manage our grief. when our behaviour. I have lost someone significant in my life’. was decreed. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. You cannot short circuit this process. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. For example. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. like fundraising for a particular charity. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. and even our clothing. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. even perhaps depressed. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
which can be a comfort. People want to help but they often don’t know how. such as excessive use of alcohol. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. However hard it is. we experiment with new ways of behaving. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. Experiment At some point. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. This does not mean forgetting them.net 13 . ask them. If you need a hug. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. feeling there is no point. © Copyright 2003. and this will of course vary from person to person. But actually. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. you never go right back to the beginning. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. however it feels.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. we begin to move on. Let close friends offer you comfort. So. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. be it with a handshake or a hug. not in any sense. in this phase. You may find.
Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. be it lighting candle. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Helping In Western culture. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. Literally. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. so we need to use our discretion. Knowing this can help you plan for it. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. be it taking some homemade food round.” © Copyright 2003. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. a card sincerely written.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. If you can. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. surrounded by people. as I have said. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ritual can be helpful at this time.net 14 . take medical advice. Of course. taking flowers to an appropriate place. I hope it has been helpful however. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. Make your peace with that and all will be well. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. or an offer of help with the shopping. whether for you personally. Again.
COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us.co. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. and some simply telling you how to do it. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. some anecdotal. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. even depressed. Sometimes. we can get very fed up. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life.C CHANGE. depending on the severity of the change.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. Woods. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Finally. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. Sometimes. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. some research based. This phase goes on for ages or not too long.net 15 . almost no one likes it. depending on the change. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. firstname.lastname@example.org than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. Some people embrace change and some resist it. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Just remember this.
You are speechless at first. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Finding they are. “What?” you say.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Worse. A Story Here is a short story about change. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. It may ring a bell with you. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence.net 16 . but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. However. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. © Copyright 2003. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. You are feeling bright and chirpy. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming.
But then. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. For example. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. Use two different colours if you like.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. That is a fact to record on the top line. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. and. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. joy of joys. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper.net 17 .. no one but you is going to see this.. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. did it make you sad. yes. don’t just focus on the negatives. For example. So. angry. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. or determined to make more effort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. vulnerable.
the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. no one makes us feel anything. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. overloaded message units and repressed fears. are funny things. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. For example. However. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. But as the sun rises. They begin almost imperceptibly. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. At first. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. One may approach it in a positive way. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. Then. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. as the dawn progresses. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. another to frown and feel aggrieved. The same principle applies to you. © Copyright 2003. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. Similarly with our responses to change. and therefore our feelings. Actually. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening.net 18 . however. while another may be much more fatalistic. our responses to change are individual and personal. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. our thoughts. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. Obviously. Dawns.
If you are starting to feel anxious.anxiety and emotions. given enough time and repetition. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. see the right path. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. apprehension and fear. confidence. you do not need to feel this way. inept. you start to believe it yourself. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem.net 19 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. © Copyright 2003. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Unfortunately. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. clumsy. even our physical health and well being. remember “dawn” can and will happen. relaxation. Ultimately. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. Giving you the feeling of freedom. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. For example. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. confused or fearful. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. however. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. need or want. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. Be absolutely clear about what you want. detailed imprint of what you desire. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. but will actually consider them an order. When this happens. you are in essence training your mind. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need.
How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. you are actually living the life you want. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. Guide them.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis.” So live your life fully. Trust that the Universe has.net 20 . mold them and do it over and over again. in addition. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. all of your life. abundance. with clarity. you need to be aware. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. realizing all the possibilities available to you. you always have a choice. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. You will feel stronger. then the real fun can start. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. If you want a New Beginning. Know that no matter what things might look like. yoga. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. does and will continue to offer you what you need. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. confidence and trust. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. As Abraham Lincoln once said. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is a journey. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. so. It’s the life in your years. It does make a difference. want and desire.achieving prosperity.
courage.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. dolphins . After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective.net 21 . These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. engage and listen. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. yellow balloon. look and listen. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. I truly believe that faith. © Copyright 2003. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. The problem is that we communicate differently. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. It is important not to go looking for your sign. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. our answers are all around us. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to.knowing. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try.
physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. These two types. opposites really do attract. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. An example would be. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. it isn’t. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. among other things. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. people don’t realize just how true this is. enjoys spur of the moment activities. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. screams. they will answer yes or no. however. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. if you ask a physical if they are cold. So. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. In relationships. the way we communicate with each other. First. It is the physical who yells.net 22 . Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. but E&P affects. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. how they can come apart. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. whatever when upset. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. possibly even throws things when angry. cries. and how natural and normal this is. is so much more than simple questions. © Copyright 2003.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. Communication. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations.
You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. It becomes a vicious circle. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. © Copyright 2003. you can see how this could be problematic. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. You had to be strong. Since we tend to project our thoughts. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Conversely. self-confidence. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. the more the physical pushes. Remember though.The same thing occurs when communicating.net 23 . The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. This E&P communication. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. Words have power. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. however is just one part of communication. they can ruin lives. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. We heal from physical injuries. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. Also. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to.
by working it. find out what you can do. keep your thoughts strong. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength.net 24 . most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. Your life depends on it After all.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. © Copyright 2003. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. is powerful beyond belief. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. bad relationship and can keep on going. call out for help. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. leave. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. But most of all. but not only that. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Also. someone will answer. The woman who has come out of a nasty. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. intelligence and compassion. each of us. dreams and desires. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. throughout your life entire life. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. But you are wrong. You know because I say it over and over again. beautiful heart and so much love to give. This is why “words” do have so much power. this planet needs you. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. Think and dream about your future. As a matter of fact. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. wider and stronger each and every day. your talent. The same holds true for what you hear. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. Make some calls. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind.
words can hurt you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But when you are with someone you care about. And that’s really what venting to another person is.net 25 . Vent when you are alone. scream and yell and swear all you want. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. © Copyright 2003. husband. our child. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. words can destroy you. wife. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification.Each of us. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Once said they are out there forever.
here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. Jill Ammon-Wexler.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons.net 26 .it is created. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. but in essence they are just like any other habit. thought patterns and thought habits. In addition. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. if we want to. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. conditions and illnesses. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. if this work fulfills its potential. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. According to Dr.D DEPRESSION. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. suicidal feelings. DIETING. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. and just like any other habit. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. Researchers like Dr. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. Miller goes on to stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depression. Dr. © Copyright 2003. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . According to Dr. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. however. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later.even into very advanced old age. No one is born with such a brain -. AND -.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. As research continues in this area. In fact. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.
images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. © Copyright 2003. I just want to be happy.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. What we think. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. What it does understand. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.” What is actually being said here? Look at it.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. Think about that a moment.net 27 . “disappointed in my relationships”. I don’t want to be around negative people. “unhappy”. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. etc. though. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. But if you engage in regular mental workouts.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die.use it or lose it. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. fulfilled life. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. what we say to ourselves. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. healthy muscles. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even more importantly. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships.
As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone).D. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. October 18. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Massachusetts. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. epilepsy. Bruce Cohen. including cancer.” observes Dr. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Pay attention to what you are thinking. 100 times more. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003.. it will continue to go on. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. on a subconscious level. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. When there is negative thinking. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. whether it is physical or emotional. Ph. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. heart disease. So. with the aid of hypnosis. subconscious level. Parkinson’s disease. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Fixing one problem can often help the other. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. Woman’s World. reflect on the contrary.net 28 . is originating on a deeper. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. 2005. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Reflect on the positive. Take responsibility for your thoughts.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body.
we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. is bad for you. never a comparison with all the other studies. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. The truth is. Part of one study. we are really only getting part of the story. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. particularly among our young people. sometimes to death. and of course. diet and weight. and these are serious issues indeed.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. the second diet was only three meals a day. When most of us think about diet and weight. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). according to the New York Times. © Copyright 2003. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. but in addition.net 29 . they are fat and unattractive! Hey. people. The first diet included six small meals a day. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). especially our young women. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. And throughout all of it. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. test or theory. Chocolate was bad for you. Confusing. it seems as if all the doctors. especially in the United States. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. then we were told maybe it isn’t. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. First we were told that fat. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. we just don’t want to do it. now again we are hearing. any kind of fat. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused.
Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Knowledge is indeed power. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. we can each take the time to do a bit of research.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence or happiness. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. With the internet available to all of us. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. Releasing negative thoughts. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. In fact. weight issues are rarely just about weight. one of the first things I tell them is. © Copyright 2003. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. Just as with any weight. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. As we live our lives. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight.net 30 . we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. a lack of fulfillment. satisfaction. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. by taking control of our thoughts. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. both emotional and physical. it can include abandonment issues. and getting the right kind of support and advice. we tend to carry around baggage from our past.
i. what do you think about. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. what does your world look like.net 31 . in fact. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Look at yourself. So wonderful. though just an illusion. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. take control of your thoughts and change your life. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. I keep going back to this one phrase. You can continue the work on your own. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. © Copyright 2003. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. If you don’t like it. what do you see. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue.e. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. observe how you feel.Knowledge. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. fear. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. that we keep going back to it. though is not just about external fact. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life.com.. This is. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop.
The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. has no value of its own. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. depression. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. anger. including depression. ENERGY. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. addictions and phobias. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. fear. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). © Copyright 2003. posttraumatic stress disorder. EMOTIONS.net 32 . As I’ve written before. Not a hypothetical path. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. anxiety. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. general stress. any negative experience. a negative experience itself. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy.
This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. deprivation.net 33 . EFT can help with both the cravings. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. understanding the negative experience is not enough. © Copyright 2003. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. and more importantly.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. Remember. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. In addition. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. emptiness and anxiety. to addiction. do not use self-hypnosis. With regard to addictions. With or without hypnosis. weight loss to pain and illness. war trauma or severe physical illness. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. As stated earlier. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously.
the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. By forgiving.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. Likewise. meditation. Ryke Geerd Hamer. hurt and unforgiveness. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer.net 34 . hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. hurt. One such study by Dr.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. but our physical health as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. accidents and increased workplace injuries. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. even more importantly. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. For example. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. resentment. hostility. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function.
Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. vaccines. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. etc). Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. pathogens. such as genetics. diet. In addition to nurturing your mind. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. In most cases of cancer. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. Throughout this book you will find theories. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. but it is not. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.specifically. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. seems somewhat contradictory. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. whole grains. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. it prevents depression. exposure to toxic substances. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves).net 35 . white flour. that we are out of balance. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. etc. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself.
or an inability to let go and just relax. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. Hypnosis can help you. © Copyright 2003. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. stress. While listening to your hypnotherapist. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. but balance will return. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique.net 36 . visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level.who have the ability to relax more fully. imagery. So. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy.
Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. Their phytonutrients . THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. whole grains. Chew properly. Fruits and vegetables and spices. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each.carotenoids in carrots. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. turmeric.net 37 . To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. FOCUS. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. until the food becomes liquid. Increase your intake of fish. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. The indigestible parts of fruits. safflower and vegetable oils. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Healthy fats. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. try counting the chews in each bite. Eat the right foods. which as we know reduce inflammation. aiming for 30 to 50 times. nuts. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. garlic liberally. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Fiber. primary by reducing the inflammation.F FABULOUS. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. © Copyright 2003. FEAR. Drink more water. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. soy. 2.
Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. our hair. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. our tissues. As a matter of fact. 4. Detox is a relative term.) If under pressure at meals. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Losing weight gradually . The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Pesticides. 6. Any form of exercise helps. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins.net 38 . But breathing is also effective. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. take deep breaths. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. chemicals from manufacturing. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. but so will saunas and hot baths. which creates less gas. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. and let the simple act of chewing relax you.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. our organs. Sweat – cleans up your system. Our blood is what creates our cells. Regular exercise should make you sweat. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Breathe. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. our skin. 5. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. 3. The solution: Sweat. Eat homemade food. Detox.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. chew. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle.
We have to learn how to prioritize our health. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. meats. Tai chi -moving meditation . diary products. bread. Take the laughter yoga class. fried foods. Have sex. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Laugh. fats. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness .journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. etc.net 39 . Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Have a home-made facial. relaxes your body. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. focused. boost mood. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey.consists of slow. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. hydrogenated fats. © Copyright 2003. our jobs. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. I call it facial meditation. Yoga poses reduce stress levels.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. 9. you sure can laugh at one. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. improving your healthy well-being. 7. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. grains. refined flours. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. our relationships. Even if you can’t tell a joke. and improve overall health. 10.it is delicious. 8.
you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. or even worse. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do.net 40 . insomnia or lack of energy. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.naturalcounselor. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. mood swings.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. one thing seems to come up most frequently. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. a short while. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. though. That one thing is FEAR. it keeps us from making a big mistake. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. FEAR: fear of change. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. fear of failure. fear of success. that one thing. healthy and joyous life you want. what we expect.
pretend and let our imaginations soar. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. write down your goals and if you did write them down.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. People without strong desires slowly whither away. When you have specific. relationships. friends and lovers live this kind of life.net 41 .settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. As children we were free to play. career and health because you are afraid of failing. the more vibrant and alive we become. we are afraid to dream. 2. and grow up. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. we have chosen. in order to be an adult. This is wrong. the world of adults. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. afraid of disappointment. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. for the most part. But. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). Something that is important to you right now. We were told to grow up. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. get out your list and read it again. have a reasonably happy life. Be honest. instead. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. © Copyright 2003. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. as we grew older. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. and life just gets better and better. the more connected we feel. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. Your goals must be your very own. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you haven’t done so already. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. we were told to leave those dreams behind.
Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. doing something together. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. parent. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. life coach or whomever and ask for support. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. push yourself to ask for help now.3. When you say your affirmations out loud. laughing. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. breathing things. 5. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. 4. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. if your goal is to run a marathon. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Sometimes. If you have not asked for support much in the past. it’s hard to focus. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. You know. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. FOCUS Look around you. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. though. Focus. Remember the Power of Affirmations. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said.net 42 . a powerful tool. crying and so on. As an example. Use them. even though we would gladly give it if asked.
sight. psychological imbalances. though. The subconscious processes everything. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. Luckily. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. When we go through periods of stress. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. health. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. and its effects may be positive.net 43 . It disables your emotional resources. success and fulfillment. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. recorded on brain and body cells. you are bombarded with millions of message units. Over time. This is commonly referred to as memory. though. resentment or anger. smell and hearing. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. physical and emotional well-being. touch. interpersonal and relationship problems. affirmative statements. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. forgive and accept forgiveness. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. © Copyright 2003. negative or neutral to our mental. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. During the course of a day. confront the situation as needed. that release. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. our subconscious is able to do this for us. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. it still exists in our subconscious.taste. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. whether asleep or awake.
The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. 2. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. 4. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. existing situation. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. anger. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. Once learned. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. Even when we sleep long hours. During the Releasing session. This not only applies to a current. laughter and perspiration. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. 6. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 3. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. tears. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. 5. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident.net 44 . They are also © Copyright 2003. fear and anxiety. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time.
she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. have learned. © Copyright 2003. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. etc.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. 8. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You.). and your body and life are the printout.” 7. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed.net 45 . the Releaser is asked to state. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. including health care professionals and clergy. can be done alone. such as anger. disappointment. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. sadness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. function as a computer operator. “I release (relevant emotions. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. As people from all backgrounds.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. as a Soul. the brain is your biological computer. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. once learned. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. and feeling great. however.
Without goals. You choose what you want in your life. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. a diversion to keep life interesting. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. an activity or a thing. If you think about anger. Each of us is already whole.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. We find ourselves drifting along. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. A really simple way to test this theory is this. if you think about a color. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. A state of being is not an emotion. Sometimes. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. Think of it as a game. whether it is an emotion. Not only in your own relationships. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. take the color blue for example. Conversely.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. meaningful and exciting. thoughts and ideas. not really happy. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. “I don’t know what I want. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. I don’t know about you. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. something that is crucial to goal setting. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. After you’ve done this. your current life situation. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. fun. not only does life get depressing. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. This same principle works the same way for emotions. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. You will feel the anger in all the people around you.net 46 . If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation.
achievable in all areas of life Realistic. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. Don’t forget about free will.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. keeps us feeling alive. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. simple Measurable. Adjustments are a good thing. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. © Copyright 2003. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. He’s got free will just as we all do. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). change is the whole point. it just means you make an adjustment. not if you want to improve your life. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. sometime weekly. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. it would be a boring and scary world. they will never be overwhelming. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. If you do this regularly. responsible. doesn’t mean I can have him. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything.net 47 . • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. But you can’t manifest everything you want.
The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.Remember. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. set those goals. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. © Copyright 2003.net 48 . So. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.
This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. Ph.H HEALING. speed up healing after surgery. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). imagery. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. © Copyright 2003. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. Working from the inside out. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and help strengthen the immune system. It can help relieve pain. lower blood pressure.D. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. visualization and positive suggestions. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. relieve depression and so much more. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. In a pilot study published in 1999. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. releasing negative thoughts. As David Spiegel..net 49 . by using specific. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. turning some functions on and others off. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000.
The suggestions. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life.net 50 . empathic care provider and hypnosis.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. in terms of levels of pain. that’s because it is. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. Arreed Barabasz. anxiety and the need for painkillers. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. soothing kind of treatment. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. though. Every 15 minutes. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. and the third received standard care. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. During the operation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. © Copyright 2003.
HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image.” Using imaging technology. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it.net 51 . the hypnotized patients used less medication. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. “It’s not just a fantasy. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. involving more than 330 patients. On average. A journey that you can now control. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. If you think you are seeing color.” says Marc Schoen.” says Spiegel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. experienced less pain. While in the trance.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. Spiegel and Lang found. which could account for heightened attention. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. In effect. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. you actually see it. psychologists say. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. And this list goes on and on. then the real fun can start. Once again. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. the brain’s manager and planner. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. realizing all the possibilities available to you.
© Copyright 2003. Each incident throughout the day affects us. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. resentment. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. We have to cope with irritating. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Try it once and feel the results. this spark can grow a little dim. you can do this exercise while awake. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. Some little problem or some big problem. All life starts as a spark. stress. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. unpleasant. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. hurt. hurt. tension and minor frustrations. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. though. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. rude or just plain nasty people. Problems that we encounter every single day. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. With a bit of practice. My purpose is to help them remember. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. sometimes major life altering situations and problems.jealously. As we each move through life. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. Sometimes. When I say fuel. we each have to deal with something. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you.net 52 . I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. fear. Trying to protect your heart is backwards.
every message unit. Some pleasant. you create a vivid. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. not only will you feel better immediately. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. more positive thoughts. relaxed. If there is anything in your world. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. but the results will amaze and delight you. According to Stephen Kosslyn. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. euphoria and control of your life again. and much better about yourself. a professor of psychology at Harvard. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. Try hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. clarity. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. comfort. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. however. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. anything at all about yourself.net 53 . At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. feel or react. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. The more visual and real you make your goal. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. you will feel refreshed. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. As a result.” Using hypnosis.
Conversely. failure or success. build self-confidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. good or bad. create passionate relationships. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. What we experience as feelings. what we say to ourselves. can often help the other. depressed © Copyright 2003.is determined by the thoughts you think. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. boost your mood. once wrote. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. feel more loved. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. fear or confidence..” Cheryl O’Neil. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. However.” What we think. Your ability to overcome obstacles.I IMAGERY. Simply put. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. mend your ways. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. www. etc.cheryloneil. The brain is simply another organ in your body. fixing a problem in one place. More and more doctors as well as patients.net 54 . etc. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. September 26. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. and change your life . who I especially admire. Never. heal your body. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. 2006. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. As stated in Woman’s World. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Law of Attraction.net 58 .” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. The fourth part is training your mind. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You know that saying. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. use a deck of cards.com.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. Abundance. Another way I practice is with elevators. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. Reiki. “What we think about we bring about. 98% of the time I am right.com © Copyright 2003. Motivation.qualifiedlifecoach. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. Self Esteem. Go with your first impression you get from each card. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. Meditation. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. Private & Group Coaching. You rise above thinking in mediation. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it.
you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. and if so. delusions. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. projections. envy. You are angry. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. Often. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. That’s the truth of love. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship.net 59 . You want revenge. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you may go into a rage. You want to see them become more of who they are. in control of yourself and your partner.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. You want to stop what you are feeling. It is essential to communicate clearly. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. enjoy their life. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. You feel violated. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. succeed. and grow. no matter what that entails. If you can cool down.
you cannot make a person love you. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. Jealousy is like an onion. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. not within the relationship. If you move inward and look at yourself. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. If you can do this. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. you cannot.net 60 . you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. If your relationship is based on Attachment. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. It does not. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. © Copyright 2003. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. the jealousy resides within you. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. You can give yourself the gift. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so.
really look and analyze them.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. It is their own. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. Another layer is projection. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. we find envy. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. there is nothing to feel guilty about. These all grow out of expectation. Going down to an even deeper layer. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Look at the reality. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. Projection. The truth is that for most of us. We think that we should be able to rise above it. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. This is natural and normal. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. the truth behind what you are feeling. envy. you can reach self-awareness. guilt or anger. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. Another layer can be guilt. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. You do not own it. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Look at your beliefs. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. This is projecting. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. This insight. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts.net 61 .
frequently they are not real. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. If you love someone. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. then what you are experiencing is not love. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. Once you release the anger. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. and let that be who you are. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. When you attempt to possess another person. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. our childhood. they still don’t meet your expectations. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. You do not need to experience jealously. You become vulnerable. If you find yourself doing this. By looking deep within. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. fear of being alone. Hypnosis can help. you become yourself possessed. They come from our past. fear of not being worthy of love. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. the resentment and the hurt. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. Surrender to it. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. If you are experiencing jealously. When you love. Fear of loss. Open your heart and mind to it.net 62 . All sorts of self-doubt can surface. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. let that guide you. You can choose to move away from those feelings. Perhaps you fear abandonment. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. look deep within yourself at these feelings. but attachment. you can watch that love radiate out for all.
karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. or alternatively. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Just a thought. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives.net 63 . Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. but generally the concept is basically the same. all of which determine our future. if you prefer. Jain. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. present and future and because of this. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies.K KARMA. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. Most people © Copyright 2003. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. There is no judgment involved. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect.
associate Destiny with fate. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. In the belief systems of many cultures. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. prophet.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Step in. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. but fate makes no allowance for free will. fate and destiny are not the same.net 64 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. As stated above. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. © Copyright 2003. If you are not satisfied with your life. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. In the Shang dynasty in China. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. participate and change the direction you are heading. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Fate implies no choice. saint or seer. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person.
start by writing it down. If you want to be a famous singer write that down.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. that can help you with exactly that. LOVE. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page.net 65 . I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. LIFE. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. “What you think about will happen in your life. “Let the chips fall where they may”. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator.” It’s about where you put your focus. © Copyright 2003. What ever it is. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250.000. The concept of the law of attraction is. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is a good analogy. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want.00 a year income. The old saying. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. For example. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is.
If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. you then attracted it. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for.net 66 . Now the key here is to follow up with this. There is something there to be learned or gained. etc. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. You have made it clear.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. pay attention. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. I promise you it will show up. don’t panic. talk to those people. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now that you have set this up. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. pay attention to what happens next. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. You asked for what you wanted. now grab it. allowing it to happen is vital. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. your job is to notice it and then do something about it.
originally thought of. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. life is messy. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. www.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. Individual Coaching. maybe © Copyright 2003. She told him something I want to share with all of you.qualifiedlifecoach. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. The sooner we realize and accept that. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.net 67 .” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. You never. Not only that. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. tele-classes and resources are offered. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. a very wise woman. It is never wasted and it is never lost. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. you used them to learn about yourself.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. who has no idea that she is. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect.in a different package. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. Group Coaching.com. Go to my web site for more information. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. that is the Universe telling you go…. whatever that may entail because that’s your life.” And I realized as she told me this. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. she said “You didn’t waste those years. So live your life.
Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. Definition: To pity. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. some which I like and others not so much. com·pas·sion. living this life to experience love. I know. © Copyright 2003.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. A noun. First. often including a desire to help. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. dating. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. I’m not sure why exactly. partnered. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change.] Shak.” When we talk about compassion. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. I was reminded recently. healing. never have. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. v. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). sex. all kinds of love. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. then. married or alone. [Obs. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. compassion and faith. romance. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. trust . you are perfect. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. but yes.net 68 . then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. t. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion.
People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. lazy or self-indulgent. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. then maybe. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. with all their faults. nobody can make it for you. and. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. measurable phenomenon. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. those we live with. then someone else. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. someone around you.K.Another thing that is so important to remember. in the process. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O.net 69 . If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. that negative voice in your head. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. Instead of listening to that old record. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. Luck is a real. work with or just come into contact with. as well. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. © Copyright 2003. one that you can get behind. heal others and yourself. Give yourself a break. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). can start to love themselves as well. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. My only question to your would be this.
It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. And yet. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures.net 70 ..D. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. In addition. M. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. and so do the ideal treatments. As Dr. “Depression may look like a single disease. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. sex. but the underlying causes vary. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. Depression can manifest in many different forms.” Michael Craig Miller. 2007 article. February 26. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. with all these statistics facing us. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help.e. certainly not for a real man. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. (Harvard Medical School). In the past. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. During the past 50 years. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. the depression and the cause of that depression. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones.M MALE DEPRESSION. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. or even make the depression worse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. This can make treatment especially difficult. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become.
Woman’s World. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. Sometimes. When you recognize that this is occurring. As I quote above. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. smooth and without bumps or potholes. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. Edward M. Hallowell. without wanting or meaning to. This is not easy. bitterness. difficult and painful process. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight.net 71 . fear or anger that you are experiencing. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. resentment. As Dr. With the aid of hypnotherapy. When this occurs. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. however. Using © Copyright 2003..If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. There are detours that we must take. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. October 18. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. hurt. the healing process. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues.D. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Ph. 2005. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. Working from the inside out. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. During the course of this journey and these detours. guilt and depression. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. you take back control of your own life. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. helping you regain strong mental-health. love and happiness beyond measure. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. fear. When you release the hurt.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. without help. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”.
Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. meditation. drug abuse and depression. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. including diet. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. In addition. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. but our physical body as well. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Dr. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. a German physician. can lead to serious food addictions.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. This has been proven by Dr. resentment.net 72 .” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. hostility. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. eating disorders. Holding onto anger. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.000 brain scans. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. alcoholism. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. With the help of 20. © Copyright 2003. pathogens. hurt. Ryke Geerd Hamer.
Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Ph. etc). I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. This is a way of thinking. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body.net 73 . hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. anger is what you will bring into your life. It requires that you develop a success mind. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. Success is a process of continually learning new information. if you focus on anger. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. guide them in a positive direction. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal.exposure to toxic substances. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. and this applies to any negative emotion. use it and use it frequently. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Success is largely an inner game. yoga can help. white flour. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Believe me. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. I have been there and there is a way out. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. In addition to nurturing your mind. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. and © Copyright 2003. vaccines. Meditation works.D. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. thought or image. etc. whole grains. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. but to your thoughts as well. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts.
net 74 .making adjustments as you keep moving forward. Gather new information. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. fear of hard work. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. generate new ideas. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. exploring one more option or opportunity. see unlimited possibilities. and keep moving forward. and create new realities. Take time to dream. The success mind trains itself to ask. This is one of the laws of success. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. Develop a process to examine your fears. hardship. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. You will have to change to be successful. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. the less we fear them. Yet. possibility is in the dreaming. if you talk to any star athlete. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. make adjustments along the way. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). conditioning. learn from your mistakes. foster creativity. © Copyright 2003. but also change the world. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. fear that we are not good enough. or successful businessperson. Take action. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. fear of failure. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you simply need to start. inventor. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. and failure. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. While success requires action. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. fear of what other people will think. Fear of change. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear.
They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Remember. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Not simply because you say yes. and grow. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. think. Your thoughts. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. The time to begin is now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Question. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success.net 75 .Believe in yourself and in your dreams. your feelings. It is never too late to develop your success mind. experience. form opinions. and success. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. your world and your success. You continue to grow. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. When you say yes. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. your actions. As you do this. challenge. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. But once you say no to an opportunity. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. you likely will feel fear. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. try on new perspectives. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. create. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. adventure. Mental toughness. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable.
Visit her at www.molliemarti.D.net 76 . She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. better. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. performance coach. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org. and healthier lives. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. make corrections...com or www. Dream big and take consistent.D. mediator. © Copyright 2003. Mollie Marti. engage again and refuse to quit. is President of Best Life Design. J. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Stop caring what other people think. and smart action. happier. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. directed. redirect the effort. Ph. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. lawyer. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Inc. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger.success and rewards your effort.
management training. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. © Copyright 2003. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. Robert Dilts. Frequently when NLP is mentioned.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. however. However. and interpersonal influence. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). linguistics and computer science. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. Unfortunately. sales. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings.net 77 . and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. There is. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. John Grinder. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. sports. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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You have the power to change your perception. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. Also. fire. occurrence. Whether it makes us happy or sad.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. health healing. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. Use it for minor headaches. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. growth. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. think we are making progress or stagnating. red would probably not be the best color to use. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. have feelings of joy or hopelessness.net 81 . focus (if you have a problem with Orange. remember that red not only represents life force. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. activity. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. use Yellow) money.
The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. this is how it works. Take control. this power. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. © Copyright 2003. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. You are then taken back to the phobia again. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Sometimes. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. But the results tend to be permanent. Depending on the phobia. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. though. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. Once you have faced your phobia. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. Perception is a powerful thing. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. control it and use it wisely. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. it can make your life almost unbearable. Basically. After you are put into a hypnotic state. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. but it is not a gift at all. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. Relief is truly immediate. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. By the time your therapist is done.net 82 . Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. It can be done in person and over the phone. there will be no emotional response. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. If you are suffering from a phobia. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps.
You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. happiness. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. and not just money or things. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. Marti. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. even fear of success.net 83 . Mollie W. prosperity includes a rich. thinking and dreaming. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. In order to accomplish this. Fear of change. fear of failure. © Copyright 2003. both written by Dr. joyful and full life filled with love.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. however. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. you will enjoy them immensely.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. fulfillment and yes. Frequently they are a result of fear. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. it may be necessary to make some changes. money as well. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. and not just a lack of money or things. fun. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want.
taste. Loop Quantum Gravity. M-Theory. standing as a physical world. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Unified Field Theory. not the other way around. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. however. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. hear. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. Time. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Quantum Gravity. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. Theory of Everything. and tangible. the Copenhagen Interpretation. in addition. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. utterly real.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. separate from us. external universe. space. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. They exist within consciousness. Schroedinger’s Cat. instead. they are all phenomena within the mind. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. smell. because what was a mechanical. as I started to research this a bit. In the dream it all seems very real. solid. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. and hear it. Grand Unified Theory. String Theory. We can see it. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. Superstring Theory. around us.net 84 . © Copyright 2003. touch. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Supersymmetry. It appears undeniably to be out there. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). in about three or four paragraphs! So. EPR Paradox. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. independent and apart from us. touch it. However real and external these images may seem.
if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Cool. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. huh? So. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 85 . Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.So. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. and there’s only one real way to do that.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. First. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. possibly even throws things when angry. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. In addition. © Copyright 2003. read on. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. cries or screams when upset. However. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. It is the physical who yells. These two distinct types. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. if you are not. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years.R RELATIONSHIPS.net 86 . congratulations. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. how they can come apart. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. RELEASING. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. Unfortunately. our behavior patterns.
She on the other hand.net 87 . With the physical female. I really do mean attraction. outgoing. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. When I say E&P attraction. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. This is natural. then hobbies. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. on the other hand. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. When his partner complains that they never see each other. the relationship is of primary importance to her. After all. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. The emotional. is quite a bit different. So he starts spending more time at work. his career. She is happy.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. longer hours at the office. In relationships. To her partner it is his career. what the priorities of each are. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. Their first priority is their career. Next would be their children. secure and © Copyright 2003. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. For the physical. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. But let’s look into the future several months. And that’s a good thing. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. And boy do they do relate. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. he cannot understand why. When they first meet. Let’s cover very briefly.
Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. Remember.net 88 . © Copyright 2003. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. to get clear on your goals for the future. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. When we are healthy and balanced. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. though. sadness. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. Interestingly enough. Sometimes. What can be done about this. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. With communication you can understand each other. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. When you understand how the other thinks. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. releasing occurs naturally. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. fear and guilt. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. This is done through imagery and suggestion. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. Release anger. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Plenty. communication is key to any successful relationship. The process is quick.
D. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. and emotional states. If your subconscious is ready. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. hurt. Ph. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. positive thoughts. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand.net 89 . These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. unpredictability and lack of control. doubts. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. anger. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. process and recall information. fears. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Both techniques are effective. use your downloadable sessions first. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. physical. body and emotions. That may been all you need at this time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Negative expectations.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward.
exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. As you add them to your day.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. over the telephone. you are ready for it. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night.net 90 . each and every day. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. For example. make a choice to expect positive results. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. taking in a deep breathe. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. You spend mental. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. As you spend energy during the day. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. build in ways to recoup your energy. boring day. Think and say. Rest is any activity. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Rather. reading a book. Many rituals are quite simple.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “It’s gray and cloudy. in and of © Copyright 2003. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. It’s going to be a gloomy. to your computer. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. You give energy away to other people. You wake up and your first thought might be. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. and in countless other interactions. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you.
net 91 . linking it with a unique physical action. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion.itself. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. You’ve © Copyright 2003. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. anger. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. When you carry negative emotions like fear. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. rhythmic breathing. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. you are less able to concentrate on your task. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. and discarding the emotion. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. nervousness. guilt. fatigue. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. frustration. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After a 90-minute presentation. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. which is pleasurable and restorative. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. Influence Management: Before any performance. and anxiety. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. after working at your computer for an hour. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. For example. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity.
try to use the same type of focal point. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. it also had drifted off. consciously look at your focal point. It immediately precedes the performance and says. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. prior to a presentation or meeting. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. If you travel. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . . Yet. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. you might choose a banner. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. She chose a cloud as her focal point. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. or a clock on the wall. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. If you are in your office or in a conference room. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. This leads to a less than stellar performance. can be viewed as a distraction. works well.simply applied a band-aid.net 92 . © Copyright 2003. I image a red line on the floor. a piece of art. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. but when it came time to start. For example. A tangible engagement cue. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. even if it is a good thing. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. I “turn on” my full engagement. Any time you get distracted. body and emotions that it is time to perform. Before you perform. such as a doorframe. As I cross the line. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. back to my task. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. As you travel or perform in different locations. “OK. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. . body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies.
lawyer. © Copyright 2003. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. and healthier lives. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. Ph. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Common ones are the misuse of drugs.D. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. A close companion is the use of stimulants. including caffeine and adrenaline. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. successful entrepreneur.bestlifedesign. Visit her at www. concentration. It will throw you off. they will provide great consistency. If you cannot identify your rituals.D. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. J.net 93 . become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. mediator.molliemarti. As part of this process. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time..com or www. is President of Best Life Design. happier. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. alcohol. and success. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. Mollie Marti. better.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. This means that if you get away from your rituals. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. performance coach. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. it won’t feel right. Inc.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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mustard greens. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. fish. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. bananas. prunes. Vitamin B6. impatience.to be one of the first things that goes. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. © Copyright 2003. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. seafood. exhaustion. etc. apricots. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. depression. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Unfortunately. asparagus. chronic fatigue. such as hormonal imbalances. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. apples. depression. leafy vegetables.net 97 . Calcium. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Vitamin B12. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. brown rice. causing irritability and nervousness. cabbage. oats. kelp. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. garlic. Calcium rich foods are almonds. kale. broccoli. worry. irritability. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. blood sugar fluctuations. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. irritability. fear. sesame seeds. salmon. moodiness and nervousness. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. You need eat more avocados. Almonds.
As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. oatmeal. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. mood swings. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. Sing. brown rice. nobody will. though. Bottom line though. Squeeze a squishy ball. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. green leafy vegetables.Folic acid. Kiss. who will take care of our children. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. dates. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Walk.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. a founder of NaturalCounselor. barley. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. you must relax. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. our cortisol levels drop. Start squeezing something. I know mine always have been). to work away your tension. salmon. Call a friend.naturalcounselor. In addition. root vegetables (such as potatoes. but if something happens to us. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. legumes. mushrooms. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. lentils. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. carrots and turnips). oranges. tuna and whole grains. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this.net 98 . such as a squishy ball. our family? So let us be stress smart.com © Copyright 2003. insomnia or lack of energy.
the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. but to the energy of the present moment. According to the laws of physics. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. I know I have. because you cannot stand still. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. a feeling. If you understand that. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. Energy is constantly in motion. if you are having a problem with money. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. For example. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. If you wake up today focusing on debt. I used to feel that way often. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. If you wake up today affirming an illness. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that.net 99 .
for example. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. meanwhile. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. In a pilot study published in 1999. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. for most people. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. our results suggest. Pain sufferers. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. it doesn’t matter why it works. can influence the body to heal itself. smooth.D.D.. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis.” Ginandes says. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. and elastic. You don’t have to create change. And.” So. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You need to make room for change. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. © Copyright 2003.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. During the sessions. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. It is only important that it does. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. really. In a follow-up experiment published last year.net 100 . Patients who suffer from panic attacks. Ph. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. Hypnosis. Ph. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. the truth is.
So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. the more you focus on old negative thoughts.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. for you happiness and your abundance. Take your time with this. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. your love and your joy. Remember. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Remember. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. There is no correct answers. to the left or to the right. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. If it’s behind you. © Copyright 2003. it is what feels best for you. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Take responsibility for your life and direction. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. look down on the Time Line. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own.net 101 . When you have determined the directions of past and future. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event.
What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. you stuck by the wrong person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. You need them to tell you to be strong.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. You procrastinated. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love.net 102 . © Copyright 2003. Sometimes what you need. I’d like you to consider another alternative. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. you made a mistake. even if they cannot give it back. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). bad things just happen. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. It might not have looked that way to others. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. Without getting specific about each of them. It can look that way to others. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light.
but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. another may practice Hinduism. Spirituality. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. whatever feels right. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so.net 103 . etc. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Picture yourself at age 80. © Copyright 2003. 90. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. 85. First. For example. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. VICTIMHOOD. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. you need to define what it is you want. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. while another may be a Wiccan. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality.
but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. you will certainly feel violated. friends. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. but not only that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Think about all the value areas of your life. However. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. are you really meant to be together. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. then your perception makes it right. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. What you might think is wrong. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. church and society. Figure it out early. You might get angry. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. then you’ve got a problem.Now think back over your life. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. or even the perceptions of our family. Perhaps you are abused. If it is what you believe. © Copyright 2003. What areas cause you regret. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. mugged or even raped. Something very unpleasant. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. What areas do you feel fulfilled in.net 104 . is you. Remember. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim.
I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. for what you do and what you say. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife.I want you to consider something. it means you are not responsible for anything. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. my mother didn’t give me enough love. A rather sad. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. happiness and joy available to each of us. my wife doesn’t understand me. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. But just take a moment now and really think about it.S. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. etc. It wasn’t fun.. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life.net 105 . my kids don’t show me any respect. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. my husband ignores me. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. my mother didn’t understand me. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. and society actually encourages this thought. Life. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. Here in the U. however. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. But now. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. my friends don’t understand me. etc.” But. etc. And. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood.
bad relationship and can keep on going. eventually. As stated in Woman’s World. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. 2006.net 106 . it is the ability to enjoy life.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. beautiful heart and so much love to give. etc. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. For example. etc. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. If that is taken away from us . we lose everything. The woman who has come out of a nasty. can often help the other. is powerful beyond belief. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live.who you are. never © Copyright 2003. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. If we take back control. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. Simply. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. each of us. please. feel more loved. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. Remember. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life.. boost your mood. build self-confidence. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. You had to be strong. Fixing a problem in one place though. September 26. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relieve pain. depressed or negative.net 107 .practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. If you are feeling down. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. © Copyright 2003. your imagination. Is essence. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. Use the power of your mind. can change how your feel. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. increase your self-confidence. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. So.
the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. before facts have actually been verified. diet and weight. alcohol. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. If. refined.) 3. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. WORDS. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. bleached flour. Confusing.net 108 . 5. Not only that.e. The truth is. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. it’s good again. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. however. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. First one. scientists. 4. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. included six small meals a day.W WEIGHT. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. the only diet that had ever worked for them.
6. 20. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 10. 18. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Do you associate a person. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 19. 7. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 17. Has your mother. © Copyright 2003. 8.net 109 . 9. Do you eat breakfast? 15.
Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. You had to be strong. a lack of fulfillment. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. survivors. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We heal from physical injuries. More often than not. you know that as strange as it may sound. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. having said all that. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. You know © Copyright 2003. confidence and happiness. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. by working it. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. WRONG! Words have power. they include abandonment issues. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation.Now.net 110 . Abuse victims. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. satisfaction. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. self-confidence.
think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. someone will answer. But most of all. words can hurt you. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. dreams and desires. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. husband. lover. The same holds true for what you hear. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. call out for help. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. scream and yell and swear all you want. but not only that. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Once said they are out there forever. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. keep your thoughts strong. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Think and dream about your future. But you are wrong. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can.net 111 . eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. This is why “words” do have so much power. wider and stronger each and every day. And for each of us. Vent when you are alone. Make some calls.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. But when you are with someone you care about. I have to say this. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. throughout your life entire life. As a matter of fact. this planet needs you. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. Your life depends on it After all. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When this occurs. intelligence and compassion. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. your talent. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. And that’s what venting to another is. Also. find out what you can do. wife. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back.because I say it over and over again.
you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. can help. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. especially in interpersonal situations. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Releasing sessions can work well with these.withdraw into ourselves. If you can do this. If you do not feel ready for that. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. when things are going smoothly. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. much like arthritis in wet weather. However. or. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body.net 112 .
And now let those images fade completely away. the body you want. © Copyright 2003. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Before you make that decision. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. Once you decide that you want to quit. Of these two possible futures in your life. vital.X X SMOKER. When you have done this. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. clear and easy breathing. Make a promise to yourself. BINGER ETC. clear skin. your energy will flow in that direction. energy. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. drinker. Notice what you see. binger or whatever. very clearly. Whatever it is. you have a decision to make. Make a commitment and a decision. vibrant. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Wait 10-20 seconds. You can choose to live your life. Notice how you feel. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. what is different and better. doesn’t it?. drinking. healthy. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. strong. What do you look like. the decision becomes easy. You have the opportunity to see a different future. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health.net 113 . are you now sure which one you want. DRINKER. Wait 10-20 seconds.
your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. Compare it to strength training. Everything in life is a choice. So. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. © Copyright 2003. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. you may never receive it. For instance. When you first begin to work your muscles. happiness. your life script. you can only lift a small amount of weight. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. it does not mean you will receive it. success. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. In making a choice.com. a better job. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you always have a choice.net 114 . your entire belief system. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. joy. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List.
looking around. © Copyright 2003. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes.net 115 . What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie.com To me. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are.According to Holly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. check it regularly. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. check it out at www. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.hollygleason.
cause. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. And always remember this.net 116 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fight for your dreams and your goals. it means a diligent enthusiasm. or ideal and the determination to further that person. An antonym is apathy. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. intensity and passion. please do it with zeal and without apathy.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. cause. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal.
net 117 .” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. To make this even more effective.” and the “sore spot. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF.” “gamut spot. © Copyright 2003. You can also visualize this word in your mind. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. There are 15 points. While you are doing these three karate chops. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.
TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. 11.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. but do each issue separately. This is not a sentence. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. 12. anxiety. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 5.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 8. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 7. Do what feels right for you. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. fear.net 118 .” © Copyright 2003.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. or AFRAID. 9. 6. 10. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 2. or DEPRESSED. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 3. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. or anything you want changed. you can use just one or two words. You can go through the tapping process several times. 4. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.
imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. I love myself. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. you open all pathways to love. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs.” And that’s all there is to it. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. © Copyright 2003. As you do this. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. emotions. And as your heart fire increases. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. hurt. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. your connection with yourself is complete. By burning away all anger and negativity. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly.net 119 .“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. feelings. you also release all negative thoughts. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. resentment or negativity away. And as your heart fire increases. uncross your arms and legs. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. ideas and beliefs within yourself.
net 120 .. days. allow that color to flow in and out as well. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. If you feel like it and have the time. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. see the image). If another color comes to mind. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. anyplace. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. months or even years to be released. hours. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. smell the salt. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. at the beach.e. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. See it. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. cleansing breath in and let it out. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. smell it. like salt. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. hear the waves and the birds. taking this time right now for myself. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. heal yourself and relax yourself. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Then imagine or visualize white granules. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. hear it (i. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. weeks. Then when you are ready. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. Take yourself fully into this place.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. When you reach the © Copyright 2003.
Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. © Copyright 2003. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. Let go of all tightness within you. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Here’s my snapshot. happy and having fun together.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post.net 121 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. yourself. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. You are in control and in charge of your body. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. or whatever it is your desire. my guy and I are in love. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. activity. relationship. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. thoughts and feelings. emotions. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5.
At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I say to myself RANCH. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I vibrate with positive energy. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body.net 122 . I choose to forget past mistakes now. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. I keep saying ranch until that image. © Copyright 2003. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. live in the moment and dream in the future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With my thoughts I create my new. positive delightful reality. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body.
36...... 79... ... 78...... 29... 35..... 7...... 21..... 94...... 101. 7...58 choice2......... 7. 33... 114. 36..... 60... 50.. 58............38. 78 affirmations.. 31. 20. 45............ 47. 57..2.... 44........... 81... 1. 84. 54........... 6. 103....... 8. 78.................. 31. 78 E&P attraction . 10.... 93..... 25.............125 anger . 37... 77. 76.............. 35...... 81. 26...........................24..... 19. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .. 129.... 6.. 41.. 97.... 129 alcoholism.... 130 apprehension........... 78 forgiveness........ 35... 3 addiction .......86 addict .. 60.. 77...........30 anchor . 30 Eric Butterworth ..... 5....1.. 91.... 27... 6... 121....... 119......... 114. 21.. 92.. 110.............. 55... 36......7. 123. 89... 44........3...... 87. 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 107 Cheryl O’Neil .... 126.53.. 129 food addictions. 112 compassion ..... 101.. 118 acute pain............. 58. 37.... 42.. 23......... 44.2. 91.....30.8 Adrian Calabrese.................. 94... 35.... 121 drug abuse. 45. 5.... 2.......9....7. 30.. 21. 78 chronic pain ........ 94..D... 35....... 62....... 77.... 43.. 37.. 78. 104. 75........ . 5. 28..... 67.. 127.. 22. 55 emotional freedom technique . 80. 38.. 57.. 78....... 7 attraction ... 56.... 113. 114...... 60. 44.......2... 21 David Spiegel....2. 113 Abraham Hicks .. 124 drinking. 88. 31.. 106... 95.... 90..... 114. 21... 43.... 130 focus..................... 117............... 21.. 78 EFT . 63............ 78 alternative programs ... 47... 94. 74. 24 eating disorders. 38.. 22... 79. 3...... 61.. 26.. 79........ 63... 129 diet ............ 60... 106..... 48.. 37.... 37. 5... 21... 6... 3.. 128... 39...... 76 desire...... 32........ 4...D........ 125 energy .... 21. 46.. 116..... 27. 27.. 32. 60. 97.. 5. 5.. 95..... 54... 76. 104.. 83... 81....... 23... 53.... 6... 10. 102........ 44.. 74... 130 epilepsy ... 63.... 97. 22... 38... 94 baggage... 43. 18.. 15. 127.. 103... 90..... 35. 34... 48........ 131 dreams 22. 99. 73.. Ph. 64... 36... 2. 104.............. 127. 76...... 56.. Ph..... 71. 109..... 32.... 96..... 128 anxiety 7... 38. 50. 52. 88... 96...... 45.. 6. 97........... 78..... 44.. 103. 70.... 106....... 125............. 116 Bereavement ..... 7. 4...... 42....... 116 disease. 73 depression .. 102. 110 communication . 105.. 65.. 119 confidence...... 36.......24.................... 126. 53........ 89 fear 1. 104......... 81................. 79 Carol Ginandes.... 89.... 46... 42........88 clarity 9.... 39... 47... 35......... 118 consciousness 8...... 6. 78 cortisol .. 63......... 6.. 44. 38.. 115.............. 72..21 Arreed Barabasz ..... 89. 71...... 96.. 66.... 76.5.......... 33.......5..net i .. 32.. 32...... 12 Elvira Lang ... 109... 4.. 81....54 association .. 71. 94... 12........ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att......... 8....86 Circle Therapy . 89 balance .... 50.......... 16.... 43.. 119..... 55......... 86.. 52. 37.. 14.......... 122.. 22... 95 © Copyright 2003.... 126 adrenalin .. 94..... 80... 9. 26. 78.. 59...... 102....... 90 coronary disease.............. 27.................. 79 cancer.........121 blood sugar .... 24.. 23.... 72............107 abuse 5. 37.Index 12-step programs . 3 Alzheimer’s . 94..... 52... 112.... 30.. 122 chronic anger ..... 121.5. 10 binging .... 58.1......... 45... 55 Dawn Abraham .. 32.... 47..... 35.... 46... 52.. 95... 98........ 71...5.... 28......... 46............ 97....... 97. 25...... 79 dream 1.. 41....... 104.... 36........ 20.. 19.. 74... 6. 114.. 70. 24. 21..... 98... 84... 105 darkest hour .....
..... 10........... 58.. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .. 67.. 22.. 94. 76. 10... 125 men ...... 22... 87. 3.. 111.................. 26......... 119.. 33.... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003................ 58. 35....... 8... 22...... 110..... 13... 59. 37..................24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.. 78.10... 60...... 87 lose weight 4.. 77............... 22......2. 28.......... 43........ 38............83 Law of Attraction................. 5............. 102........ 43. 88...... 65. 38........... 9. 78.. 47...........8 hypnosis ...... 83 Robert Dilts.... 118..... 6................ 21.....fulfillment . 64. 45. 6................ 42. 107 healing .. 64...... 22. 110. 108 Parkinson’s disease. 9.. 63. 46. 76.. 77.. 25........ 40........ 78......... 53...84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .. 23.. 15....... 117 medicine..... 26........ 47.. 118. 10..... 42. 6... 79........... 128 Richard Bandler . 30 passive-aggressive ....... 125 immune suppression . 56.... 21........... 128.... 109...... 93 message units .... 37............... 78.........9.....5..... 56.............. 37. 122 Harvard ......... 5..... 15... 5....... 116 happiness ... 83........ 52... 94 mood swings ...... 21.. 58............ 56.... 101......... 115 smoking... 43.. 50....... 6.... 32.24.. 127.. 125..... 57. 130 Judith DeLozier ...... 129 grief.... 95... 1.......... 63... 78............ 83 nitric oxide .......... 37 powerless . 67...... 37....9.... 101 self-image ......... 54. 79...10......83 John Kappas.. 50. 77.....54 Irina Wardas .......... 47.... 59. 19..... 47... 86 habits... 85.... 56..37. 113 prosperity .. 109...36 joy ..... 71 life force.. 56 hurt. 115.. 5... 93. 37.. 49. 16... 53.............. 86.. 118...... 77.... 119.... 76............. 37... 51.. 36 Guilt ... 94.. 54......11.......... 7.... 89.. 78... 79....7................ 120............. 6........ 30........... 31.............. 78..... 36. 122 Ida Kendall . 114 imagery . 86... 127 hypersuggestible . 66... 77....... 53............ 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice......... 118 self-talk .....28 John Grinder .... 14.... 58...... 121 relationships24........1........30 high blood pressure.... 37. 78. 79....... 27...... 30.. 58. 86......... 83 overload . 44.. 84. 103.. 13............. 122. 44. 54... 38.... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ....... 123.. 65... 58...... 47....35 goal . 56.............. 127.. 39. 30.... 39. 105............ 34........ 69........... 29. 115................ 105 Jane C.. 67............ 53........ 10.. 79.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis..... 120 relaxation ........ 36....... 54...... 4. 81.... 53....... 42.. 57. 58...... 107........3... 43........76 Hridaya Yoga. 103...... 77........................... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ................. 59.......40.. 6 Pat Dennis.. 107...... 77.....32 illness 36..... 34..... 17 Janet Luhrs.......... 89 phobias.. 78..... 29 neuro pathways ... 117..... 37 self-esteem .... 28.... 53............. 35....... 109.. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .......10....... 43...... 74. 57..... 32. 8. 47.......... 129 resentment................... 39...... 87...... 89..... 21..net ii .. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 79...... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 95.. 113.. 77.. 92. 55... 35. 118 Gary Craig ...7.. 7.. 120. 129 heart disease..... 107. 121 snapshot . 84 panic attacks..... 88....... 78 NLP..... 6. 116...... 99...... 79.. 77........ 59..8. 29. 57................... 32 phobia . 77.............. 112.... 59............ 43..32 hypnotherapy ....... 54. 60. 75. 37... 27.. 113......5....... 32..... 99... 57 neural interconnections ... 110. 46....... 58...... 30.. 7. 83 Roger Callahan .... 114... 89. 32.... 101. 2. 57...12 habit ... 10.................. 109. Woods .. 57.. 87..
.. 77.... 29............ 77..... 77.. 79.................... 124 © Copyright 2003.. 45.... 109........ 91... 22...............6............... 85..28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ..... 30.. 95. 122 zeal......... 34. 56..... 84........83 Stephen Kosslyn ...... 59.. 95....... 121 value areas of life. 114 visualization. 113. 46.. 65....57 stress hormones . 30..... 115............... 47. 85........................... 10. 80..... 77...................... 114 triggering event ....... 101................ 5.4... 110 Two Futures . 44............. 78 subconscious. 34.... 37.............. 60...... 26... 37.......... 2......... 120 suicide......5......... 120 yummy list .107 trigger. 78.... 38...... 6................... 48...... 39.. 111 victimhood .... 8......Stephen Gilligan ........... 36.. 109 triggers ... 37........ 43....... 79 thought habits ...net iii ..53 transformation..... 128 subconsciously............. 114 weight ........... 57..... 109.... 106 wounds . 75.. 7.......... 7. 94........ 6............................ 118.......... 78............... 5.. 107...44... 59.............. 112.... 21.... 47.... 58. 116 Women........ NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.................. 6... 122................. 125.....................