This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. feelings. when given the proper instructions. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. As I said before. emotions and perceptions. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. neuro pathways. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. . I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place.
.....................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE .................21 DEPRESSION.................... E........ ADDICTION.8 CHANGE.............................................................. ............................................ FOCUS..............................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ...........................43 GOALS ...37 FEAR ............................................................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE........................................................5 ANXIETY ........................37 FABULOUS ........................................26 DIETING .......................................................3 ANGER ............................................................................. BEREAVEMENT ............................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ................................. DRUGS TO ESCAPE ..............................34 ENERGY ........................26 DEPRESSION ..............................................................35 FABULOUS....... AFFIRMATIONS.........................................................................................................................1 ABUNDANCE ........ ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS........... C............................. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.......................46 B...............8 BALANCE ..........42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ............................................................................................................................................................................. G..........................46 SMART GOALS ..................................... ENERGY ................................................................. FEAR........................................ DIETING..............................3 AFFIRMATIONS.....7 BALANCE............................................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ................32 EMOTIONS..................... D.....................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).....................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE.. F................................................................. EMOTIONS..........................................................................1 ADDICTION .. ANGER........................................................40 FOCUS ..31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)......................................... FORGIVENESS................................18 COMMUNICATION ............... ANXIETY..............15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...................................................................
......................................77 OVERLOAD...................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ..........51 HYPNOSIS..............70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION...................................................................................................................................84 I.........................................63 KISMET ...............................................59 JEALOUSY............................................................................................................. M................................................................................................................................................................ ...................49 HEALING ............................................................ PHOBIAS............ HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)........68 LUCK .............. LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS..................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)................................. HEALING.................................................. LIFE.....69 MALE DEPRESSION....................................................................70 MALE DEPRESSION................. K...65 LAW OF ATTRACTION .......................................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .......................................... P.................................................................. L...............................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ...52 IMAGERY...... PROSPERITY .............. J...................... N.............. LOVE...............80 PAIN........................ O............................................................54 IMAGERY....................49 HEART FIRE .......................................................... INTUITION... LUCK ...... MIND SUCCESS ...63 KARMA ...........56 JEALOUSY ............................................................................ MIND-BODY CONNECTION.72 MIND SUCCESS .................................................59 KARMA...........................................................................H......67 LOVE.............................................................78 PAIN.................................................................. Q..............81 PHOBIAS ......................... HYPNOSIS.......54 INTUITION................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION....................................... KISMET ................................................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ........................ PERCEPTION..................80 PERCEPTION ....................65 LIFE.....................................................
..................................................................116 S............95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE....... STUCK .......... EXERCISES ...................................................................................................114 YUMMY LIST .....88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS .....101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ......................... BINGER ETC ............................................................................................ U............................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ........86 RELATIONSHIPS ......................................................................... DRINKER......... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS....108 WORDS................................................................. SELF-TALK..........................................................104 VISUALIZATION ...................................................................................... T..............................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE......102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.................... Z...................................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS............................................. V..............................................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.............. RELATIONSHIPS............................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY . STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)...114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...113 TWO FUTURES .............113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.....................122 INDEX ................. W............................................R................................................. iii ...........103 VALUE AREAS.....106 WEIGHT.............................................................................................................................................................................. ii............ WORDS...................... i..............94 SELF-TALK..... VICTIMHOOD.................114 ZEAL ..................................................... YUMMY LIST .....................................................86 RELEASING ........................ X............................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE...94 STRESS ................. VISUALIZATION...........96 STUCK ................111 X SMOKER.......108 WEIGHT ... WOUNDS .....................................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)......................................................................................................................................................................... Y.................................................................................................. RELEASING...
fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. ADDICTION. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. think we are making progress or stagnating. © Copyright 2003. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. even worse. Because of this. money and success. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. The future. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. fear of success. As a result. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. however. occurrence. it is filled with laughter. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. excitement and yes. satisfying. a life that is rich and full. It is our perception of any event. fear of failure. indeed. AFFIRMATIONS. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad.net 1 . incident. Even when we know we have this tool.A ABUNDANCE. In order to make changes. usually as a result of fear. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. we don’t trust it to be real. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. ANGER. Fear of change.
the more vibrant and alive you become. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. at least while they are using their drug. so. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. Unfortunately. however. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. cocaine. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from.net 2 . and life just gets better and better. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. no matter what program you are going through. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. People without strong desires slowly whither away. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. helps them suppress the pain. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. i. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain..e. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. who you can call when you feel you might slip. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. alcohol. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. the more connected you feel.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. It is important though. A tempo that is magnetic. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your first step. you do have a choice. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. however. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. Allow that desire to flow through you. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. at least for a while. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do.
the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. www. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.com www. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.secularsobriety. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. if it is not done.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. then you. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. When you face this pain that you have been running from. I agree with this school of thought. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. Many people.practicalrecovery.org www. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. A friend of mine once told me. The sooner we realize and accept that. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. However. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. so. but you don’t have to. though. NewBeginnings email@example.com 3 .com www.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. the addict.habitdoc. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. you will forever remain an addict.
This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Always remember this. Don’t let fear hold you back. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. not what you want to avoid. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” Or “I will lose weight. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. that’s like moving uphill. If necessary. then that means you are on the right track. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. So. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. always focus on what you want to move towards. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. when what you really mean is. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. • Be specific. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.” the message sent to your mind. When you move towards what you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. Always create an image of what you want in your life.” • State your affirmations in the positive. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking.net 4 . remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. © Copyright 2003. your computer.” Or say. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. When you do this. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. the steering wheel of your car.
Holding onto anger. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. hurt. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. fatigue. Even if we bury anger deep inside. anger is the most common response. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. eating disorders. In addition. drug abuse and depression. and in small doses can be a good thing. looking for justice and revenge. along with mourning. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. So. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. If you see yourself as a victim. you may blame others for your situation or condition. In situations that cause fear. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. it can be just as damaging. and heart palpitations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. going from one trauma to the next. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease.net 5 . Not only is this destructive to you. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. hostility. then anger becomes a serious health risk. can lead to serious food addictions. When this is the case. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. alcoholism. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. you may see yourself as an avenger. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. shaking. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. cold hands. crying. resentment. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. When a relationship ends. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. But some people seem to be angry all the time. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth.
This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive.net 6 . but anger that may be directed at you by others. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Power and anger are frequently related. Also. it will never go away. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. sarcastic. and can help make you more content. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. and depression. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. expressing your anger in an indirect way. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. © Copyright 2003. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). bitterness. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. coronary disease. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. alcohol and drug abuse. suicide. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. releasing your anger. and even increased workplace injuries. and can lead to serious food addictions. Unfortunately. however. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Remember. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. cancer. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. In the past. If you feel powerless. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. fear and hurt. and stubborn.
shakiness. fear or anxiety. © Copyright 2003. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. fear or anxiety.). hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. nausea. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. flying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally.net 7 . driving a car. etc. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. weakness. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. Fears. mood swings. Also. being home alone. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. anxiety.
Happiness. a perfect balance. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy.B BALANCE. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Good advice. getting involved with a church. then it would make him happy as well. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. Sometimes we need reminders. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. The problem was. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. you know. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. then he’d really truly be happy. Just think about that a moment. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. place or thing that can make you happy. it didn’t work. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I told him the usual stuff. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. No matter what you hear. There isn’t another person. Twelve hours of day and night. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. No one can tell you how to be happy. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. that happiness must come from within ourselves.net 8 . If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. right? Yes and no. let them be a reminder to look inside.
It will.co. Woods. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Whether it’s an emotion. You are able to access your subconscious. and in doing so. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. our voice. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken.net 9 . But even more than that. the right kind of suggestions. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. stop thinking it to death. to balance the light and dark within yourself. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. feeling. No matter how hard we may try. working for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. happiness.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. In this state.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. desire. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. even the words we use. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. lover. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. job or whatever you are seeking. jane@changingpeople. That means stop analyzing everything so much. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. goal. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. if we are angry. They allow you to clear out the old. fulfillment and life find you.
just a little. for example. To a degree that can be true. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. and generally we prefer not to think about it.the intensity and duration may differ. letting relevant people know. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. and so on. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. © Copyright 2003. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. It is an immutable part of the human condition. you must do what is right for you. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. However. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. That said. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it.net 10 . I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved.
uncaring. © Copyright 2003. We may need evidence. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. when they are breaking bad news to patients. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. a normal response.net 11 . we may need to see the person themselves if possible. This is where someone less involved can offer help. is a refusal to believe the news. and just plain wrong. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. or those suffering alongside us. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. For example. Often that is enough. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. once the first shock waves have abated. recognizing it and naming it. Help them tell you their feelings. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. we may be compelled to visit the scene. “If I do this. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. or for feeling angry. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. It is unrealistic but again. Guilt is a common reaction to loss.Denial A second common response. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. Some enlightened doctors know. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. disconcertingly. we may need to be told several times.
or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. and even our clothing. even perhaps depressed. I have lost someone significant in my life’.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. how to manage our grief. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You cannot short circuit this process. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. when our behaviour. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. was decreed. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. like fundraising for a particular charity. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. For example.net 12 . just let it go.
The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. If you need a hug. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. But actually. People want to help but they often don’t know how. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. © Copyright 2003. which can be a comfort. Experiment At some point. This does not mean forgetting them. be it with a handshake or a hug. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. however it feels. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. So. and this will of course vary from person to person.net 13 . Let close friends offer you comfort. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. However hard it is. such as excessive use of alcohol. not in any sense. you never go right back to the beginning. in this phase. ask them. feeling there is no point. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. we begin to move on. we experiment with new ways of behaving. You may find. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time.
as I have said. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. or an offer of help with the shopping. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. Knowing this can help you plan for it. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. Of course. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. I hope it has been helpful however.net 14 . But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. taking flowers to an appropriate place. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. If you can. Helping In Western culture. Literally. be it lighting candle. be it taking some homemade food round. take medical advice. Make your peace with that and all will be well. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy.” © Copyright 2003. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. ritual can be helpful at this time. a card sincerely written. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. so we need to use our discretion. Again. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. surrounded by people. whether for you personally. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts.
net 15 . It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. some anecdotal. and some simply telling you how to do it. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. Sometimes. even depressed.C CHANGE. jane@changingpeople. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. we can get very fed up. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. Woods. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Just remember this.co. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. almost no one likes it. Finally.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. depending on the change. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. Sometimes. depending on the severity of the change. some research based. Some people embrace change and some resist it.
However. You are feeling bright and chirpy. © Copyright 2003.net 16 . “What?” you say. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. A Story Here is a short story about change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. Worse. You are speechless at first. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. It may ring a bell with you. Finding they are. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them.
When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. or determined to make more effort. vulnerable. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. So. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. That is a fact to record on the top line.net 17 . For example. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. and. angry. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. did it make you sad. For example. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Use two different colours if you like. yes. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try.. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. don’t just focus on the negatives. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. joy of joys. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us.But then. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. no one but you is going to see this. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper.
retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. But as the sun rises. our responses to change are individual and personal. At first. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. They begin almost imperceptibly. Sometimes. however. © Copyright 2003. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. Then. The same principle applies to you. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. Similarly with our responses to change. Actually. are funny things. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. For example. no one makes us feel anything. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. Dawns. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. another to frown and feel aggrieved. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. and therefore our feelings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. while another may be much more fatalistic. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. our thoughts. Obviously. One may approach it in a positive way.net 18 . However. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. overloaded message units and repressed fears. as the dawn progresses.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion.
Unfortunately. apprehension and fear. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. Giving you the feeling of freedom. you do not need to feel this way. When this happens. For example. you start to believe it yourself. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units.net 19 . we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. © Copyright 2003. given enough time and repetition. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. If you are starting to feel anxious. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. inept. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. Be absolutely clear about what you want. need or want. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. Ultimately. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. confidence. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). even our physical health and well being. confused or fearful. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. see the right path. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. detailed imprint of what you desire. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating.anxiety and emotions. relaxation. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. but will actually consider them an order. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. clumsy. you are in essence training your mind. however. remember “dawn” can and will happen.
go to that party you’ve just been invited to. all of your life. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. in addition. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. realizing all the possibilities available to you. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. Guide them. confidence and trust.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. you are actually living the life you want. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. you always have a choice. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. yoga. Trust that the Universe has. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. want and desire. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. As Abraham Lincoln once said. It does make a difference. you need to be aware. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. does and will continue to offer you what you need.achieving prosperity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. mold them and do it over and over again.net 20 . with clarity. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. Know that no matter what things might look like. it is a journey. You will feel stronger. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. abundance. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. then the real fun can start.” So live your life fully. It’s the life in your years. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. so. If you want a New Beginning.
knowing. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up.net 21 . yellow balloon. I truly believe that faith.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. © Copyright 2003. look and listen. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. It is important not to go looking for your sign. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. engage and listen. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. dolphins . Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. our answers are all around us. courage. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. The problem is that we communicate differently.
First. however. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. whatever when upset. In relationships. So.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. the way we communicate with each other. but E&P affects. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. it isn’t. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in.net 22 . cries. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. is so much more than simple questions. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. It is the physical who yells. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. © Copyright 2003. screams. among other things. they will answer yes or no. if you ask a physical if they are cold. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. how they can come apart. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. opposites really do attract. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. possibly even throws things when angry. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. Communication. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. people don’t realize just how true this is. and how natural and normal this is. An example would be. These two types. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. enjoys spur of the moment activities.
It becomes a vicious circle. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. you can see how this could be problematic. Remember though. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. however is just one part of communication. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. Conversely. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We heal from physical injuries. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. Also. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Since we tend to project our thoughts. Words have power. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. the more the physical pushes. they can ruin lives. You had to be strong. This E&P communication. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside.net 23 . self-confidence. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. © Copyright 2003.The same thing occurs when communicating.
And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. wider and stronger each and every day. by working it. Make some calls. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. But most of all. You know because I say it over and over again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. find out what you can do. As a matter of fact. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. is powerful beyond belief. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. call out for help. this planet needs you. This is why “words” do have so much power. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. intelligence and compassion. The same holds true for what you hear. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. but not only that. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Also. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. But you are wrong.net 24 . someone will answer. your talent. © Copyright 2003. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Your life depends on it After all. throughout your life entire life. each of us. leave. Think and dream about your future. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. bad relationship and can keep on going. keep your thoughts strong. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. dreams and desires. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. beautiful heart and so much love to give. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel.
Each of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. husband. wife. Vent when you are alone. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. And that’s really what venting to another person is. scream and yell and swear all you want. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. © Copyright 2003. Once said they are out there forever. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. words can hurt you. our child. words can destroy you. But when you are with someone you care about.net 25 .
and just like any other habit. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. DIETING.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. however. if we want to. In fact. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. Jill Ammon-Wexler. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. if this work fulfills its potential. According to Dr. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. In addition. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. © Copyright 2003. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. Miller goes on to stress. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. sleep problems and/or exhaustion.D DEPRESSION. depression. thought patterns and thought habits.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. As research continues in this area.it is created. conditions and illnesses. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. suicidal feelings.net 26 . yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. Researchers like Dr. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. No one is born with such a brain -. but in essence they are just like any other habit. According to Dr. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. AND -. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts.even into very advanced old age. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. Dr. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause.
fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. fulfilled life. though. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. What we think. What it does understand. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. etc. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. “disappointed in my relationships”. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. I just want to be happy. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. what we say to ourselves. even more importantly. “unhappy”. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. I don’t want to be around negative people.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. healthy muscles.use it or lose it. © Copyright 2003.net 27 .Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. Think about that a moment. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”.
stroke and Alzheimer’s.. Parkinson’s disease. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. whether it is physical or emotional. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. So. epilepsy. with the aid of hypnosis. heart disease. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. Take responsibility for your thoughts. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts.net 28 . Woman’s World. October 18. Massachusetts.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Ph.” observes Dr. Fixing one problem can often help the other. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. including cancer. When there is negative thinking. subconscious level. Reflect on the positive. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it will continue to go on.D. 2005. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. Bruce Cohen. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. reflect on the contrary. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. is originating on a deeper. 100 times more. on a subconscious level. Pay attention to what you are thinking. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003.
is bad for you. the second diet was only three meals a day.net 29 . Part of one study. now again we are hearing. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. people. When most of us think about diet and weight. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). Confusing. Chocolate was bad for you. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. then we were told maybe it isn’t. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. test or theory. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). and of course. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). we just don’t want to do it. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. it seems as if all the doctors. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. especially our young women. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. never a comparison with all the other studies. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. And throughout all of it. sometimes to death. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. any kind of fat. according to the New York Times. diet and weight. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. and these are serious issues indeed. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. particularly among our young people. First we were told that fat. but in addition. The first diet included six small meals a day. especially in the United States. © Copyright 2003. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. The truth is. we are really only getting part of the story. We all know the difference between bad and good fats.
We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. both emotional and physical. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. by taking control of our thoughts. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. With the internet available to all of us. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. In fact. Releasing negative thoughts. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence or happiness. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make.net 30 . Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. © Copyright 2003. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. and getting the right kind of support and advice. a lack of fulfillment. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. Just as with any weight. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. satisfaction. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. it can include abandonment issues. one of the first things I tell them is. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. As we live our lives. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. Knowledge is indeed power. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. weight issues are rarely just about weight.
drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release.net 31 . If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop.com. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue.Knowledge. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. what do you think about. fear. though just an illusion. Look at yourself. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. observe how you feel. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. though is not just about external fact. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions.e. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. what do you see. that we keep going back to it. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. I keep going back to this one phrase. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. If you don’t like it. take control of your thoughts and change your life. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. what does your world look like. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. i. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. You can continue the work on your own. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world.. in fact. So wonderful. This is. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. © Copyright 2003.
but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. EMOTIONS. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. Not a hypothetical path. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. has no value of its own. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. anger. ENERGY. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. including depression. any negative experience. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. a negative experience itself. addictions and phobias. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. posttraumatic stress disorder. As I’ve written before. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. depression. fear. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. anxiety. general stress.net 32 .
Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. understanding the negative experience is not enough. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. and more importantly. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. deprivation.net 33 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. With or without hypnosis. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. do not use self-hypnosis. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. In addition. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. As stated earlier.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. © Copyright 2003. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. With regard to addictions. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. Remember. emptiness and anxiety. EFT can help with both the cravings. war trauma or severe physical illness. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. to addiction. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. weight loss to pain and illness.
The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. meditation. hurt and unforgiveness. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. hurt. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. hostility. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. One such study by Dr. but our physical health as well. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. Ryke Geerd Hamer. even more importantly. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. resentment. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. By forgiving. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. accidents and increased workplace injuries. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. For example. Likewise. It can even be linked to suicide. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal.net 34 .
emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. In most cases of cancer. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. diet. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. Throughout this book you will find theories.net 35 . and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. whole grains. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. In addition to nurturing your mind. but it is not. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc). but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. seems somewhat contradictory. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. such as genetics. that we are out of balance. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. vaccines. etc. white flour. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. exposure to toxic substances. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. it prevents depression.specifically. pathogens. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables.
net 36 . but balance will return. Hypnosis can help you. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. © Copyright 2003. stress. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. While listening to your hypnotherapist. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. So. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. or an inability to let go and just relax. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. imagery. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork.who have the ability to relax more fully.
safflower and vegetable oils. turmeric. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Their phytonutrients . whole grains. Healthy fats. soy. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Drink more water. Fiber. which as we know reduce inflammation. Eat the right foods. Fruits and vegetables and spices. 2. primary by reducing the inflammation.net 37 . FEAR. © Copyright 2003. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Chew properly. nuts. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body.carotenoids in carrots. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. The indigestible parts of fruits. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. garlic liberally. FOCUS. try counting the chews in each bite. Increase your intake of fish. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets.F FABULOUS. aiming for 30 to 50 times. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. until the food becomes liquid. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
Pesticides. 3. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. our skin. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. chemicals from manufacturing. The solution: Sweat. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. Any form of exercise helps. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. 6. our hair. Breathe. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Regular exercise should make you sweat. which creates less gas. take deep breaths. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. chew. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. our organs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. As a matter of fact. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. but so will saunas and hot baths. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline.) If under pressure at meals. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Our blood is what creates our cells. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. But breathing is also effective. Detox is a relative term.net 38 . Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. our tissues. Losing weight gradually . Sweat – cleans up your system. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Eat homemade food. 5. Detox. 4.
Have sex. refined flours. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Even if you can’t tell a joke. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. boost mood. 7. relaxes your body. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . © Copyright 2003. our jobs. and improve overall health. diary products. you sure can laugh at one. our relationships. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. hydrogenated fats. etc. We have to learn how to prioritize our health.it is delicious. fried foods. meats. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. focused. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body.net 39 . Yoga poses reduce stress levels. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets.consists of slow. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. Take the laughter yoga class. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. Laugh. Tai chi -moving meditation . (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. 10. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org that will help us to feel and look fabulous. bread. I call it facial meditation. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. Have a home-made facial. 9. 8. grains. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. improving your healthy well-being. fats. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables.
Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. or even worse. mood swings. that one thing. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. fear of success. FEAR: fear of change. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. it keeps us from making a big mistake. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it.naturalcounselor. That one thing is FEAR. a short while. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. healthy and joyous life you want. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. though. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. what we expect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of failure. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www.net 40 . Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. one thing seems to come up most frequently. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. insomnia or lack of energy.
So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. We were told to grow up. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. People without strong desires slowly whither away. afraid of disappointment.net 41 . concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. © Copyright 2003. have a reasonably happy life. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. pretend and let our imaginations soar. When you have specific. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. we were told to leave those dreams behind. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. the more connected we feel. But. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. the more vibrant and alive we become. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. write down your goals and if you did write them down. This is wrong. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relationships. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). for the most part. instead. in order to be an adult. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. as we grew older. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. friends and lovers live this kind of life. we are afraid to dream. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. get out your list and read it again. career and health because you are afraid of failing. 2. If you haven’t done so already. and life just gets better and better. Something that is important to you right now. and grow up. we have chosen. the world of adults. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. As children we were free to play. Be honest. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. Your goals must be your very own.
Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. even though we would gladly give it if asked. 5. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. If you have not asked for support much in the past. breathing things. push yourself to ask for help now. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. As an example. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. laughing. crying and so on. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. if your goal is to run a marathon. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. life coach or whomever and ask for support.3. it’s hard to focus. You know. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Remember the Power of Affirmations. parent. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. When you say your affirmations out loud. though. Use them. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Focus. doing something together. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. 4. FOCUS Look around you. a powerful tool. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003.net 42 . or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Sometimes.
taste. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. physical and emotional well-being. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. whether asleep or awake. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. that release. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our subconscious is able to do this for us. though.net 43 . touch. smell and hearing. health. During the course of a day. When we go through periods of stress. This is commonly referred to as memory. it still exists in our subconscious. © Copyright 2003. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. Over time. interpersonal and relationship problems. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. confront the situation as needed. you are bombarded with millions of message units. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. It disables your emotional resources. though. success and fulfillment. recorded on brain and body cells. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. forgive and accept forgiveness. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. and its effects may be positive. psychological imbalances. The subconscious processes everything. sight. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. negative or neutral to our mental. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. affirmative statements. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. Luckily. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. resentment or anger. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt.
The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anger. 6. laughter and perspiration. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. During the Releasing session. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. 4. Even when we sleep long hours. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. 5. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. fear and anxiety. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them.net 44 . heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. existing situation. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. They are also © Copyright 2003. 2. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. 3. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. This not only applies to a current. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. Once learned. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. tears. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs.
the brain is your biological computer. disappointment. as a Soul. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. can be done alone. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. etc. 8. once learned.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. such as anger. and your body and life are the printout. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. the Releaser is asked to state. As people from all backgrounds.). The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. however. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them.” 7. function as a computer operator. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. “I release (relevant emotions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. including health care professionals and clergy. and feeling great. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. sadness. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour).net 45 . © Copyright 2003. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. have learned.
When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. Think of it as a game. We find ourselves drifting along. whether it is an emotion. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. If you think about anger. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. if you think about a color.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. fun. After you’ve done this. something that is crucial to goal setting. I don’t know about you. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. a diversion to keep life interesting. Not only in your own relationships. You choose what you want in your life. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. Sometimes. Each of us is already whole. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. A state of being is not an emotion. This same principle works the same way for emotions. not only does life get depressing. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. meaningful and exciting. take the color blue for example. thoughts and ideas. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. NewBeginnings email@example.com 46 . the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. Without goals. your current life situation. an activity or a thing. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. though. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. “I don’t know what I want. not really happy. A really simple way to test this theory is this.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. Conversely.
they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. sometime weekly. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly.net 47 . © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. doesn’t mean I can have him. they will never be overwhelming. keeps us feeling alive. simple Measurable. not if you want to improve your life. it just means you make an adjustment. Don’t forget about free will. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. change is the whole point. it would be a boring and scary world. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. He’s got free will just as we all do. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. But you can’t manifest everything you want. responsible. If you do this regularly. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. Adjustments are a good thing.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So.Remember. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.net 48 . © Copyright 2003. set those goals. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.
deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. As David Spiegel. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. by using specific. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. Working from the inside out. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.D. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. releasing negative thoughts. It can help relieve pain.net 49 . and help strengthen the immune system.. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. © Copyright 2003. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. visualization and positive suggestions.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). turning some functions on and others off. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. speed up healing after surgery.H HEALING. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. imagery. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. relieve depression and so much more. Ph. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. lower blood pressure. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself.
Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. Every 15 minutes. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. in terms of levels of pain. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. soothing kind of treatment. Arreed Barabasz. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. that’s because it is. The suggestions. empathic care provider and hypnosis. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate.net 50 . and the third received standard care. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. though. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. During the operation. anxiety and the need for painkillers. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. © Copyright 2003. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against.
Once again.” Using imaging technology. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. the brain’s manager and planner. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. involving more than 330 patients. And this list goes on and on. realizing all the possibilities available to you. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. then the real fun can start. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. psychologists say. A journey that you can now control. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. In effect. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. you actually see it. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. experienced less pain. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. “It’s not just a fantasy. Spiegel and Lang found. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. If you think you are seeing color. the hypnotized patients used less medication.net 51 . Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. which could account for heightened attention. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. While in the trance.” says Spiegel. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember.” says Marc Schoen. On average. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
With a bit of practice. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. Trying to protect your heart is backwards.jealously. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. tension and minor frustrations. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. As we each move through life. stress. we each have to deal with something. Try it once and feel the results. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. though. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. hurt. this spark can grow a little dim.net 52 . My purpose is to help them remember. © Copyright 2003. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Sometimes. All life starts as a spark. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. Some little problem or some big problem. hurt. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). fear. you can do this exercise while awake. rude or just plain nasty people. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. When I say fuel. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. unpleasant. We have to cope with irritating. resentment. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. Each incident throughout the day affects us. Problems that we encounter every single day. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals.
” Using hypnosis. feel or react. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. If there is anything in your world. and much better about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. Try hypnosis. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. every message unit. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. more positive thoughts. but the results will amaze and delight you. anything at all about yourself. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. As a result. not only will you feel better immediately. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Some pleasant. you create a vivid. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. a professor of psychology at Harvard. euphoria and control of your life again. relaxed. clarity. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated.net 53 . © Copyright 2003. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. you will feel refreshed. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. The more visual and real you make your goal. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. comfort. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. however. According to Stephen Kosslyn.
recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. good or bad.” What we think. can often help the other. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking.com Cheryl is talking about imagery. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. More and more doctors as well as patients.I IMAGERY. As stated in Woman’s World. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind.. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. create passionate relationships. etc. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. boost your mood. mend your ways. Never. Conversely. who I especially admire. heal your body. once wrote. www. depressed © Copyright 2003.net 54 . a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. build self-confidence. fixing a problem in one place.cheryloneil. feel more loved. 2006. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. What we experience as feelings. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. failure or success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. and change your life . Your ability to overcome obstacles. However.is determined by the thoughts you think. what we say to ourselves. fear or confidence. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Simply put. September 26. etc. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis.” Cheryl O’Neil. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. The brain is simply another organ in your body. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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Motivation.com. Meditation. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. Law of Attraction. You rise above thinking in mediation. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it.net 58 . use a deck of cards. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. 98% of the time I am right. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. Go with your first impression you get from each card. You know that saying. Self Esteem. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. Private & Group Coaching.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. The fourth part is training your mind. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. “What we think about we bring about.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Reiki. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first.com © Copyright 2003. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. Another way I practice is with elevators. Abundance. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach.qualifiedlifecoach.
you may go into a rage.net 59 . Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. You want to stop what you are feeling. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. enjoy their life. That’s the truth of love. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. You feel violated. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. and if so. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. It is essential to communicate clearly. Often. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. no matter what that entails. delusions. If you can cool down.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. and grow. You are angry. in control of yourself and your partner. succeed. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. envy. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You want revenge. You want to see them become more of who they are. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. projections.
What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. the jealousy resides within you. you cannot make a person love you. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. If you move inward and look at yourself. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Jealousy is like an onion. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It does not. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. not within the relationship. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. If you can do this. you cannot. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. If your relationship is based on Attachment. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person.net 60 . © Copyright 2003. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. You can give yourself the gift. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be.
Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. We think that we should be able to rise above it. This is natural and normal. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. These all grow out of expectation. there is nothing to feel guilty about. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. we find envy. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. It is their own. Another layer can be guilt. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Projection. This is projecting. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Look at your beliefs. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. The truth is that for most of us. Another layer is projection. Going down to an even deeper layer. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. the truth behind what you are feeling. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. envy. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. guilt or anger. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. really look and analyze them. Look at the reality. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful.net 61 . you can reach self-awareness. This insight. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. You do not own it.
Hypnosis can help. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. let that guide you. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. If you love someone. they still don’t meet your expectations. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the resentment and the hurt. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. Once you release the anger. Fear of loss. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. If you find yourself doing this. you become yourself possessed. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. look deep within yourself at these feelings. frequently they are not real. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. you can watch that love radiate out for all. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. © Copyright 2003. They come from our past. You do not need to experience jealously. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. fear of being alone. When you attempt to possess another person. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. and let that be who you are. fear of not being worthy of love. When you love. our childhood. Surrender to it. You become vulnerable. Perhaps you fear abandonment. By looking deep within. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. You can choose to move away from those feelings. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you are experiencing jealously. but attachment. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood.net 62 . Open your heart and mind to it. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. then what you are experiencing is not love.
KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Jain. Just a thought.K KARMA. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions.net 63 . Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. There is no judgment involved. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Most people © Copyright 2003. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. all of which determine our future. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. present and future and because of this. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. or alternatively. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. if you prefer. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. but generally the concept is basically the same.
although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. If you are not satisfied with your life. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. but fate makes no allowance for free will. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. saint or seer. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate implies no choice. participate and change the direction you are heading.net 64 . © Copyright 2003. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. fate and destiny are not the same. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. In the Shang dynasty in China. prophet. As stated above. Step in.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history.associate Destiny with fate. In the belief systems of many cultures. which is a huge component of the human psyche.
The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract.00 a year income. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator.000. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it.L LAW OF ATTRACTION.net 65 . The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. © Copyright 2003. LOVE. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. is a good analogy. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. For example. “What you think about will happen in your life. What ever it is. The concept of the law of attraction is.” It’s about where you put your focus. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. The old saying. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. LIFE. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. start by writing it down. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. that can help you with exactly that. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. “Let the chips fall where they may”.
Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. allowing it to happen is vital. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. etc. Now the key here is to follow up with this. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. Now that you have set this up. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. There is something there to be learned or gained. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. pay attention. You have made it clear. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. don’t panic. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. you then attracted it. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. You asked for what you wanted. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it.net 66 . It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. I promise you it will show up. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. pay attention to what happens next. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. talk to those people. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. now grab it.
A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. So live your life. Go to my web site for more information. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. life is messy. tele-classes and resources are offered. maybe © Copyright 2003.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. The sooner we realize and accept that. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. www. a very wise woman. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. It is never wasted and it is never lost. She told him something I want to share with all of you. that is the Universe telling you go….” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. Group Coaching.” And I realized as she told me this. she said “You didn’t waste those years.qualifiedlifecoach.com. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.in a different package. You never. originally thought of. Not only that. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. you used them to learn about yourself. Individual Coaching. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money.net 67 . As a Life Coach / Business Coach. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. who has no idea that she is. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. Definition: To pity. living this life to experience love. often including a desire to help. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. trust . you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. A noun. some which I like and others not so much. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. sex. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. t. dating. never have. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. but yes. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. com·pas·sion. [Obs. all kinds of love. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. you are perfect. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. v. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. romance. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. married or alone. partnered. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. compassion and faith. I’m not sure why exactly. © Copyright 2003. then. I was reminded recently. Compassion (Com-pas’sion).net 68 . First. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. healing. I can see you all now rolling your eyes.” When we talk about compassion.] Shak. I know.
can start to love themselves as well.net 69 . People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. one that you can get behind. Instead of listening to that old record. nobody can make it for you. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. as well. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. My only question to your would be this. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. Give yourself a break. measurable phenomenon. © Copyright 2003. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. and. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. with all their faults. places or events that you attract for one reason for another.K. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). then maybe. work with or just come into contact with. in the process. those we live with. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. then someone else. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. lazy or self-indulgent. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. someone around you. that negative voice in your head. heal others and yourself. Luck is a real.Another thing that is so important to remember. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel.
and this is just the tip of the iceberg. M.D. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. February 26. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. the depression and the cause of that depression. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. and so do the ideal treatments. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. (Harvard Medical School). good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. certainly not for a real man. 2007 article. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. Depression can manifest in many different forms. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. This can make treatment especially difficult.” Michael Craig Miller. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. During the past 50 years. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. with all these statistics facing us. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. As Dr. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. In addition. “Depression may look like a single disease. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another.M MALE DEPRESSION.. or even make the depression worse.net 70 . but the underlying causes vary.e. sex. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. And yet. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. In the past.
guilt and depression. difficult and painful process. however. resentment. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. October 18. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. you take back control of your own life. Hallowell. fear. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. Using © Copyright 2003. Woman’s World.D. As I quote above. When you recognize that this is occurring. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. helping you regain strong mental-health. When you release the hurt. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. Edward M. without wanting or meaning to. With the aid of hypnotherapy. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. Ph. Sometimes. Working from the inside out. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. During the course of this journey and these detours. hurt. bitterness. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. fear or anger that you are experiencing. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health.. Trying to accomplish this by yourself.net 71 . As Dr. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. without help. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. This is not easy. smooth and without bumps or potholes. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. When this occurs. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. There are detours that we must take. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. the healing process. 2005. love and happiness beyond measure.
a German physician. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. resentment. In addition.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. With the help of 20. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. alcoholism. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. © Copyright 2003.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. Ryke Geerd Hamer. eating disorders. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. including diet. hostility. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. can lead to serious food addictions. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. pathogens. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. but our physical body as well.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. This has been proven by Dr. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.net 72 . drug abuse and depression. meditation.000 brain scans. hurt. Dr. Holding onto anger.
if you focus on anger. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. and this applies to any negative emotion. This is a way of thinking. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. It requires that you develop a success mind. yoga can help. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. Believe me.exposure to toxic substances. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). anger is what you will bring into your life. thought or image. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Meditation works. Success is a process of continually learning new information. white flour. keeping track of what is working and what is not. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. In addition to nurturing your mind. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar.D. and © Copyright 2003. etc). vaccines. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Ph. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. etc. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. use it and use it frequently. Success is largely an inner game. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. whole grains. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. but to your thoughts as well. I have been there and there is a way out. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. guide them in a positive direction. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. more than just your emotional well being is at stake.net 73 .
Yet. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. Develop a process to examine your fears. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. Fear of change.net 74 . You will have to change to be successful. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. Take time to dream. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. fear of failure. possibility is in the dreaming. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. The success mind trains itself to ask. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. hardship. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. While success requires action. or successful businessperson. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. generate new ideas. learn from your mistakes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is one of the laws of success. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. © Copyright 2003. you simply need to start.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. but also change the world. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. Take action. exploring one more option or opportunity. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. fear of hard work. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. fear that we are not good enough. Gather new information. inventor. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). the less we fear them. and failure. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. fear of what other people will think. and keep moving forward. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. make adjustments along the way. and create new realities. foster creativity. if you talk to any star athlete. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. conditioning. see unlimited possibilities. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes.
net 75 . But once you say no to an opportunity. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. It is never too late to develop your success mind. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. Question. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. You continue to grow. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. When you say yes. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. your world and your success.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. As you do this. try on new perspectives. Your thoughts. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. your feelings. form opinions. adventure. challenge. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. and grow. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. create. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Not simply because you say yes. experience. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. you will create even more opportunities for growth. your actions. and success. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. The time to begin is now. Remember. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. think. Mental toughness. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you likely will feel fear. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living.
Ph. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger..net 76 .D.com or www. Mollie Marti. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. © Copyright 2003. engage again and refuse to quit.success and rewards your effort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. redirect the effort.D. performance coach.molliemarti. and healthier lives. Dream big and take consistent. lawyer. happier. Visit her at www. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. better. J. and smart action. directed. is President of Best Life Design.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. make corrections. Stop caring what other people think. mediator. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail.. Inc. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail.bestlifedesign. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results.
and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. John Grinder. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. Unfortunately. and interpersonal influence. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. There is. linguistics and computer science. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. © Copyright 2003. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. however. Robert Dilts.net 77 . management training. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. However. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. sports. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. sales. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. remember that red not only represents life force. health healing. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Whether it makes us happy or sad. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. growth.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. activity. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time.net 81 . use Yellow) money. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. red would probably not be the best color to use. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. Use it for minor headaches. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Also. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. fire. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. think we are making progress or stagnating. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. You have the power to change your perception. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. occurrence. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success.
control it and use it wisely. this power. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. It can be done in person and over the phone. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. Relief is truly immediate. It may seem like a gift in the beginning.net 82 . it can make your life almost unbearable. Take control. this is how it works. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. Perception is a powerful thing. © Copyright 2003. After you are put into a hypnotic state. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. You are then taken back to the phobia again. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. though. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. By the time your therapist is done. Once you have faced your phobia. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. Basically. there will be no emotional response. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. but it is not a gift at all. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. But the results tend to be permanent. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. Depending on the phobia. If you are suffering from a phobia. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future.
maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. thinking and dreaming. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. fear of failure. Mollie W. Fear of change. Frequently they are a result of fear. even fear of success. you will enjoy them immensely. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. both written by Dr. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. money as well. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. fulfillment and yes. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. prosperity includes a rich.net 83 . joyful and full life filled with love. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it may be necessary to make some changes. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. fun. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. however. and not just money or things. happiness. In order to accomplish this. Marti. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. and not just a lack of money or things. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. © Copyright 2003. Poverty is a way of living and thinking.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking.
net 84 . All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. and hear it. in about three or four paragraphs! So. Theory of Everything. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Loop Quantum Gravity. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. hear. not the other way around. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. because what was a mechanical. utterly real. We can see it. Schroedinger’s Cat. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. and tangible. taste. Grand Unified Theory. In the dream it all seems very real. EPR Paradox. Quantum Gravity. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. © Copyright 2003. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. external universe. Time. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. independent and apart from us. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). Supersymmetry. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. around us. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. the Copenhagen Interpretation. space. solid. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. String Theory. instead. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. smell. as I started to research this a bit. standing as a physical world. Superstring Theory. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. However real and external these images may seem. M-Theory. touch it. They exist within consciousness. separate from us. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. they are all phenomena within the mind. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Unified Field Theory. It appears undeniably to be out there. however. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. touch. in addition.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Cool. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.So. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. and there’s only one real way to do that. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. huh? So. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003.net 85 .
RELEASING. In addition. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. However. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do.net 86 . Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. our behavior patterns. how they can come apart. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. congratulations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These two distinct types. cries or screams when upset. It is the physical who yells. read on. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. First.R RELATIONSHIPS. Unfortunately. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. possibly even throws things when angry. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. if you are not. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. © Copyright 2003.
I really do mean attraction. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. outgoing. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. his career. This is natural. what the priorities of each are. Their first priority is their career. And that’s a good thing. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. In relationships. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. After all. then hobbies. Let’s cover very briefly.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. When I say E&P attraction. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. the relationship is of primary importance to her. She on the other hand. secure and © Copyright 2003. on the other hand. When his partner complains that they never see each other. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. When they first meet. he cannot understand why.net 87 . To her partner it is his career. She is happy. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. longer hours at the office. With the physical female. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. The emotional. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. So he starts spending more time at work. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. For the physical. And boy do they do relate. Next would be their children. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But let’s look into the future several months. is quite a bit different.
you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. © Copyright 2003. When we are healthy and balanced. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. What can be done about this. to get clear on your goals for the future. communication is key to any successful relationship. though. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. The process is quick. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. Sometimes. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. sadness. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. releasing occurs naturally. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious.net 88 . Plenty. fear and guilt. When you understand how the other thinks. Remember. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Release anger. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. This is done through imagery and suggestion. With communication you can understand each other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Interestingly enough. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective.
anger. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. unpredictability and lack of control. fears.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. hurt. Negative expectations. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. body and emotions. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. positive thoughts. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. and emotional states. Both techniques are effective. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions.D. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Ph. That may been all you need at this time. If your subconscious is ready. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. use your downloadable sessions first. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.net 89 . Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. process and recall information. doubts. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. physical.
“I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. each and every day. As you spend energy during the day. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. over the telephone. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. Many rituals are quite simple. in and of © Copyright 2003. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. You give energy away to other people. reading a book. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. As you add them to your day. boring day. and in countless other interactions. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Rest is any activity. you are ready for it. build in ways to recoup your energy. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. make a choice to expect positive results.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. You spend mental. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. taking in a deep breathe. “It’s gray and cloudy. You wake up and your first thought might be.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. Rather. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish.net 90 . Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. For example. Think and say. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. to your computer. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. It’s going to be a gloomy.
It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. you are less able to concentrate on your task. guilt. You’ve © Copyright 2003. and anxiety. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. and discarding the emotion. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. which is pleasurable and restorative. nervousness. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. frustration. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. Influence Management: Before any performance. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. rhythmic breathing. fatigue. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control.net 91 . Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. For example. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. After a 90-minute presentation. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. after working at your computer for an hour. linking it with a unique physical action. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. When you carry negative emotions like fear. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning.itself. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk.
the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. Before you perform. a piece of art. It immediately precedes the performance and says. . you might choose a banner. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. © Copyright 2003. such as a doorframe. I “turn on” my full engagement. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She chose a cloud as her focal point. As I cross the line. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. I image a red line on the floor. or a clock on the wall. If you are in your office or in a conference room. For example. Any time you get distracted. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. A tangible engagement cue. prior to a presentation or meeting. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. “OK. it also had drifted off. body and emotions that it is time to perform. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. consciously look at your focal point. This leads to a less than stellar performance. If you travel. can be viewed as a distraction. works well. . it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. As you travel or perform in different locations. even if it is a good thing. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. back to my task. but when it came time to start. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind.simply applied a band-aid. Yet. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. try to use the same type of focal point.net 92 . The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind.
Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals.bestlifedesign. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. and success. mediator. As part of this process. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. better. Visit her at www. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. If you cannot identify your rituals. Mollie Marti. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. concentration. happier. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. J.. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine.net 93 . More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. and healthier lives. is President of Best Life Design. they will provide great consistency. Ph.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.. It will throw you off. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. Inc. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance.D. including caffeine and adrenaline. lawyer. performance coach. © Copyright 2003. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. This means that if you get away from your rituals.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. it won’t feel right.molliemarti. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. successful entrepreneur.com or www. alcohol.D.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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etc. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. kale. Unfortunately. causing irritability and nervousness. irritability. Vitamin B6. Almonds. impatience. moodiness and nervousness. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. exhaustion. sesame seeds. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. apricots. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. depression. fish. cabbage. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Calcium. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. mustard greens. prunes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. leafy vegetables. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. such as hormonal imbalances.net 97 .to be one of the first things that goes. apples. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. salmon. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. © Copyright 2003. irritability. Vitamin B12. chronic fatigue. asparagus. depression. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. blood sugar fluctuations. brown rice. You need eat more avocados. fear. kelp. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. bananas. broccoli. oats. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. worry. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. seafood. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Calcium rich foods are almonds. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. garlic. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin.
In addition. Bottom line though. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas.Folic acid. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. legumes. Sing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Walk. oranges. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. to work away your tension. green leafy vegetables. brown rice. but if something happens to us. our cortisol levels drop. I know mine always have been). barley. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. who will take care of our children. carrots and turnips). though. Start squeezing something. lentils. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. tuna and whole grains. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. Call a friend. nobody will.naturalcounselor. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. insomnia or lack of energy. Kiss. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. root vegetables (such as potatoes. such as a squishy ball.net 98 . oatmeal. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. mushrooms. you must relax. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. dates. our family? So let us be stress smart. Squeeze a squishy ball. salmon. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. a founder of NaturalCounselor. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. mood swings.com © Copyright 2003. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves.
there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. because you cannot stand still. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. I know I have. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past.net 99 . that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. a feeling. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. I used to feel that way often. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. If you wake up today affirming an illness.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. If you wake up today focusing on debt. Energy is constantly in motion. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. If you understand that. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. According to the laws of physics.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. if you are having a problem with money. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. For example. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. but to the energy of the present moment.
© Copyright 2003. for example. can influence the body to heal itself. And. In a pilot study published in 1999.” Ginandes says. really. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. It is only important that it does. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. Ph. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. Pain sufferers.” So. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. for most people.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. In a follow-up experiment published last year. smooth. Hypnosis. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Ph.net 100 .D. the truth is. our results suggest. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. and elastic. You don’t have to create change. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing.. it doesn’t matter why it works. meanwhile. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. During the sessions. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. You need to make room for change.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.D. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background.
So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future.net 101 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. for you happiness and your abundance. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. look down on the Time Line. If it’s behind you. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. to the left or to the right. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. © Copyright 2003. Take your time with this. your love and your joy. Remember. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. There is no correct answers. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. When you have determined the directions of past and future. Take responsibility for your life and direction. Remember. it is what feels best for you. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future.
Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. even if they cannot give it back. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. you made a mistake. It can look that way to others. bad things just happen. Sometimes what you need. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. Without getting specific about each of them. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. It might not have looked that way to others. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). You procrastinated. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I’d like you to consider another alternative. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed.net 102 . I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. you stuck by the wrong person.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. You need them to tell you to be strong. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. © Copyright 2003.
First. Spirituality. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. Picture yourself at age 80. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. you need to define what it is you want. another may practice Hinduism.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. 85.net 103 . etc. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. whatever feels right. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. VICTIMHOOD. while another may be a Wiccan. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. 90. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. © Copyright 2003. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example.
In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. © Copyright 2003. friends. What you might think is wrong. are you really meant to be together. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will certainly feel violated. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. What areas cause you regret. is you. Perhaps you are abused. Figure it out early. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. then your perception makes it right. then you’ve got a problem.net 104 . Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. Something very unpleasant. or even the perceptions of our family. Think about all the value areas of your life. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. If it is what you believe. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. church and society. You might get angry. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. However. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. mugged or even raped. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you.Now think back over your life. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Remember. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. What value areas of your life are you happy with. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. but not only that.
A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. A rather sad. etc. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife.” But. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. however. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. But now. my friends don’t understand me. etc. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. it means you are not responsible for anything.net 105 . It wasn’t fun. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. my husband ignores me. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. And. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. for what you do and what you say. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood.. my mother didn’t understand me. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. etc. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. my mother didn’t give me enough love. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. Life. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect.S. my kids don’t show me any respect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. happiness and joy available to each of us. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003.I want you to consider something. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. Here in the U.. my wife doesn’t understand me. and society actually encourages this thought. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. But just take a moment now and really think about it.
it is the ability to enjoy life. Remember. is powerful beyond belief. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. The woman who has come out of a nasty. Simply. never © Copyright 2003.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. bad relationship and can keep on going. Fixing a problem in one place though. September 26. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. etc. feel more loved. For example. please. If we take back control. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security.net 106 . just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. can often help the other.who you are. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. boost your mood. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. 2006. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress..or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. You had to be strong. beautiful heart and so much love to give. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we lose everything. As stated in Woman’s World. each of us. If that is taken away from us . etc. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. build self-confidence. eventually.
depressed or negative. increase your self-confidence. If you are feeling down. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. relieve pain. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. can change how your feel. your imagination. Is essence. So. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. Use the power of your mind.net 107 .practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization.
The truth is.e. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. 5. however. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. 4. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes.W WEIGHT. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. WORDS. etc. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. scientists. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Not only that.net 108 .) 3. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. before facts have actually been verified. it’s good again. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. bleached flour. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. included six small meals a day. First one. alcohol. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. diet and weight. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. If. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. the only diet that had ever worked for them. refined. Confusing.
you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. 8.6. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Has your mother. 19. 9. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 17. 7. 20. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Do you associate a person. 18. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. © Copyright 2003. Out of all the food you eat in a day.net 109 . Do you have cravings for salt? 13. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 10.
thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. More often than not. self-confidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. WRONG! Words have power. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. We heal from physical injuries. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. by working it. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. a lack of fulfillment. having said all that. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. You had to be strong. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. you know that as strange as it may sound.Now. satisfaction. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. confidence and happiness. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel.net 110 . Abuse victims. survivors. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. they include abandonment issues. You know © Copyright 2003. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight.
I have to say this. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. call out for help. Also. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. Once said they are out there forever. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification.net 111 . WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. keep your thoughts strong. find out what you can do. this planet needs you. But most of all. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. Vent when you are alone. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Your life depends on it After all. scream and yell and swear all you want. words can hurt you. And that’s what venting to another is. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. wider and stronger each and every day. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. But you are wrong. but not only that. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. Make some calls.because I say it over and over again. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. Think and dream about your future. someone will answer. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. your talent. intelligence and compassion. This is why “words” do have so much power.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. As a matter of fact. husband. And for each of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. dreams and desires. When this occurs. lover. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. wife. But when you are with someone you care about. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. throughout your life entire life. The same holds true for what you hear. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best.
withdraw into ourselves. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. especially in interpersonal situations. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.net 112 . It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. can help. much like arthritis in wet weather. Releasing sessions can work well with these. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. when things are going smoothly. If you can do this. However. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. or. If you do not feel ready for that. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason.
doesn’t it?. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. Wait 10-20 seconds. drinking. Once you decide that you want to quit. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Make a commitment and a decision. And now let those images fade completely away. Notice what you see. You have the opportunity to see a different future.net 113 . Notice how you feel. you have a decision to make. the decision becomes easy. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. Before you make that decision. clear and easy breathing. drinker. strong. your energy will flow in that direction. healthy. What do you look like. Make a promise to yourself. what is different and better. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. very clearly. binger or whatever. vibrant. Wait 10-20 seconds. vital. are you now sure which one you want. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. When you have done this. energy.X X SMOKER. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. BINGER ETC. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. clear skin. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. the body you want. Of these two possible futures in your life. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Whatever it is. DRINKER. You can choose to live your life.
Everything in life is a choice. you can only lift a small amount of weight. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. success. you may never receive it. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. happiness. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in.com. joy. So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller.net 114 . you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. In making a choice. you always have a choice. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. your life script. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. When you first begin to work your muscles. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. your entire belief system. © Copyright 2003. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. Compare it to strength training. it does not mean you will receive it. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. For instance. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. a better job. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love.
It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed.net 115 . check it out at www. check it regularly. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes.com To me. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle.According to Holly. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.hollygleason. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. looking around. © Copyright 2003. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be.
Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. cause. or ideal. cause. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. intensity and passion. An antonym is apathy. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. or ideal and the determination to further that person. fight for your dreams and your goals. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. And always remember this. please do it with zeal and without apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been.net 116 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation.net 117 . Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine.” and the “sore spot. To make this even more effective.” “gamut spot. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. You can also visualize this word in your mind. © Copyright 2003. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While you are doing these three karate chops. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. There are 15 points. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for.
” © Copyright 2003. 7. Do what feels right for you. 5. or anything you want changed. 3. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed.net 118 . Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. fear. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. 2. 12. You can go through the tapping process several times. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 11.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 9. but do each issue separately. 4. 10. you can use just one or two words. This is not a sentence. 6. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. or DEPRESSED. 8. or AFRAID.
visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. feelings. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. resentment or negativity away. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. ideas and beliefs within yourself. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. emotions. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax.” And that’s all there is to it.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. you open all pathways to love. And as your heart fire increases. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. hurt. you also release all negative thoughts. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. © Copyright 2003. I love myself. your connection with yourself is complete. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. uncross your arms and legs. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions.net 119 . you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. By burning away all anger and negativity. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. And as your heart fire increases. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. As you do this.
glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. like salt. If you feel like it and have the time. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away.. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. smell the salt. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. anyplace. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place.net 120 .e. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. weeks. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. Then imagine or visualize white granules. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. cleansing breath in and let it out. hear it (i. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hear the waves and the birds. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. at the beach. If another color comes to mind. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. See it. Then when you are ready. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. taking this time right now for myself. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. see the image). days. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. Take yourself fully into this place. heal yourself and relax yourself. allow that color to flow in and out as well. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. smell it. months or even years to be released. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. hours. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major.
feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. activity. my guy and I are in love. Here’s my snapshot. relationship. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. or whatever it is your desire. emotions. thoughts and feelings. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you.net 121 . happy and having fun together. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. You are in charge of your healing and your life. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. © Copyright 2003. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. yourself. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Let go of all tightness within you. You are in control and in charge of your body.
I vibrate with positive energy. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. live in the moment and dream in the future. I say to myself RANCH. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings email@example.com 122 . The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. positive delightful reality. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I choose to forget past mistakes now.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. With my thoughts I create my new. I keep saying ranch until that image. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body.
... 96. 52. 118 consciousness 8..... 123. 8. 129....... 118 acute pain.... 104. 101..... 121 drug abuse.... 114..5.. 48.... 74..... 78 cortisol .2.... 98..... 60... 48.. 81.. 103.........2. 35. 35......... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.... 94.... 55.5.... 47... 104..... 97..... 31. 74.. 129 food addictions.... 21... 78 affirmations...... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 55 emotional freedom technique .... 102..... 114................ 79 dream 1.... 8. 2...... 127..... 22........... 97...... 60... 121...... 26. 33. 27...... 4...... 78.1..... 34.......30 anchor ... 37....3.. 77... 59.. 3 addiction ..... 20....... 55. 95........... 106................7............ 27...... 128 anxiety 7.... 44... 36... 78.. 115. 60.... 83..... 95 © Copyright 2003. 77... 38.......D. 65. 5... 90...... 30.. 36....... 46..... 22... 126..53... 60. 44........ 35. 63. 113 Abraham Hicks ....... 45.. 21... 77. 119 confidence..... 95... 7. 35.. 91...... Ph. 32.... 70.....9.. 10....... 109...2... 76... 89.... 36.... 42. 37. 6....... 112........ 90 coronary disease... 110 communication .... 6... 50.......... 39. 73 depression ..107 abuse 5.. 27.... 21.................. 46.. 105 darkest hour . 114............... 6.. 102.................. 89.... 43.... 47.......21 Arreed Barabasz ... 44. 90.. 81.. 79 Carol Ginandes...... 94.. 79... 62.......... 127.. 81.7...... 78 chronic pain ... 52..... 87. 110. 114...24... 19....... 97... 117. 32.88 clarity 9.... 78...... 78 E&P attraction .. 37..5... 26..... 58. 84.. 21 David Spiegel......... 63..... 94.......... .... 36. 37....... 116........ 76. 94. 14. 12............. 21.......... 45. 104.. 94................... 3.......... 32......... 10........ 44... 29. 131 dreams 22... 47. 15.. 23. 7. 119... 128..... 33. 28... . 32... 101..... 71... 44.121 blood sugar . 113.......... 64....... 79 cancer..... 122 chronic anger ... 116 disease.. Ph.Index 12-step programs ..... 21... 97. 73.... 23. 22.. 93. 35.. 26.... 28...... 9.... 37. 21. 95.. 7 attraction .... 96... 66......54 association . 19.............. 91........ 92. 130 epilepsy ... 98.. 25.... 5...... 43. 20.86 Circle Therapy .. 35. 112 compassion . 2............ 56. 74. 114.. 103.... 79....... 47.. 16. 105................ 35............ 119. 97. 57... 78. 80.. 97..58 choice2.... 1........ 53.... 21. 54. 52........ 60.. 5........ 25... 58. 50......... 81.... 5... 71.. 4... 4............ 124 drinking..... 6....... 41. 94 baggage... 121.....8 Adrian Calabrese.... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .. 39...... 78.. 84.......... 43.D.. 6.... 75..... 106.. 23. 24 eating disorders..... 7..... 58.....125 anger ..... 32. 99... 106.. 78...... 81... 46.. 78 EFT ... 89 fear 1...... 36.. 72.... 125 energy . 129 diet ...... 96.......... 103... 5. 31. 72........ 89 balance ............ 42...38...... 38.. 45. 38. 7.... 122. 24.... 104. 107 Cheryl O’Neil . 67. 6.. 61... 130 focus... 129 alcoholism.......24.... 57. 32. 41...... 53.. 24. 116 Bereavement .... 94....... 86.2................ 63. 76.... 50....... 3........ 43.. 80...86 addict ..... 89........... 78 alternative programs ... 70............... 79..... 126........ 37.. 126 adrenalin ... 45........5... 30 Eric Butterworth .... 30..... 46... 22..... 55 Dawn Abraham . 109... 71. 102. 88......... 12 Elvira Lang ... 78 forgiveness....... 18. 27.. 88.. 10 binging . 130 apprehension....30..... 76..... 6................... 54.. 5.. 38.. 44... 125.. 31... 37........ 104...........................net i . 35.. 71..... 6.. 127.1... 6..... 94... 3 Alzheimer’s ...... 56.... 38...... 52. 42. 63.. 21.. 76 desire........ 36. 44.
39... 43. 86 habits... 43..... 58....... 28.. 30.. 110...... 69... 77............... 56. 37. 78..... 10.. 122.. 88...... 58.. 32....... 15... 93.... 5.. 110...... 46.... 125 immune suppression ....... 32....... 101..... 57. 56......... 78...... 89.. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice. 6...... 57... 123. 36.....32 illness 36.. 22... 7............... 25... 112.. 31. 76... 85............. 45.... 56........ 54........ 29 neuro pathways ..... 22............ 38. 34.. 118 self-talk ... 22.................... 44.. 58................ 127 hypersuggestible ... 42...... 43.. 78.... 77... 38... 109.83 John Kappas..........30 high blood pressure.. 50. 43. 28............ 21......... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003..........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ...8 hypnosis ...... 65............ 32. 19. 76... 30 passive-aggressive .... 37 self-esteem .. 27.... 107. 95.. 57..... 66... 114 imagery .. 78...... 1.. 6.. 35....... 54.... 77... 37. 109... 94.. 59.... 58......9.... 49....... 8. 13.... 37........ 59.... 59....... 76... 40........... 5. 78....... 83 Roger Callahan .... 36 Guilt . 110. 32 phobia ... 109.... 4....... 87...... 50...... 122 Ida Kendall . 29... 37 powerless . 63.. 64.... 37.. 118 Gary Craig . 77........ 77....28 John Grinder ... 83 nitric oxide ....... 79... 2.. 83 overload ... 56 hurt.. 53................. 42.... 63..... 37......... 53... 92...... 6........ 79.76 Hridaya Yoga.......... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 26.. 113 prosperity . 94 mood swings ................ 78.... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ........................................10....... 101........ 21. 7.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att............... 78... 10. 116... 102.......... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ..... 128 Richard Bandler .. 53.. 130 Judith DeLozier . 121 snapshot ...11..................5.......9.....net ii ........................ 43...... 54..... 116 happiness ..8.. 127...... 89.......24. 83 Robert Dilts.. 79.. 58...10. 15.. 125 men ...... 58.... 101 self-image . 88.............. 52.. 60. 6. 74....... 30... 78. 56... 107............... 29.12 habit ............. 5. 32.. 118.. Woods ..... 78 NLP... 120..... 77.... 47. 75................ 57...... 57 neural interconnections ...... 37.. 84 panic attacks. 77.... 59... 10.. 47..... 8.. 47. 27.... 46...... 6..... 115.. 129 resentment. 67.. 37... 107.fulfillment ........... 60. 115 smoking.........37. 17 Janet Luhrs...40..... 16.... 21. 54...5........... 58...... 47..... 37........... 44......... 3. 47...... 128....... 129 grief.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.. 120 relaxation ...83 Law of Attraction... 115........ 105 Jane C............. 59... 35......... 71 life force...... 9... 23....... 84.. 118......2.... 7. 53.... 87 lose weight 4..........24 Journal of Clinical Psychology..... 10. 111... 21. 77....... 51.........35 goal .. 129 heart disease. 95....32 hypnotherapy .... 65. 107 healing .... 26. 9.7. 77..... 13..10....... 39....3. 81.. 122 Harvard ... 30.... 113... 47...... 103... 22.... 109.... 121 relationships24.. 113......7.......... 43.............. 79.... 117 medicine...... 105.. 108 Parkinson’s disease.......... 125........ 119.. 83...... 53.... 89.... 35........... 55......36 joy ............. 64......... 118..... 99.. 34.......... 119............ 36. 127...... 53.......... 39.. 99... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ................. 79.54 Irina Wardas ....... 30. 38...... 86... 117.. 120........ 5...... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine .. 56.. 93 message units ... 33......... 87.. 103.................. 77..... 87..... 57... 79................ 58..... 6......... 67........... 86. 89 phobias. 79.. 10...... 6 Pat Dennis.... 114... 22....... 14............... 54........ 94...... 42.. 57...... 86...... 78........ 67..1..
.... 114 visualization... 79.....5.. 124 © Copyright 2003.............. 120 suicide.........53 transformation..... 116 Women.... 30... 47... 57............ 45. 111 victimhood ...................... 34. 6.... 65............ 5............... 60.......Stephen Gilligan ........... 6....... 115...... 77...................... 59..... 122 zeal... 7. 36........ 118. 95..... 10...... 106 wounds ........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .......57 stress hormones .... 110 Two Futures ....... 5.. 84.. 121 value areas of life.......... 39... 114 triggering event .. 75......... 85.. 7.... 85... 26..........44. 2............ 122........ 22.................... 30......... 107.. 113....4........ 8... 95. 114 weight .................. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 6...... 29........... 58.. 80........ 37..... 109.... 78 subconscious.. 79 thought habits ........................6.......net iii . 59.... 48........... 128 subconsciously... 120 yummy list .... 109 triggers .83 Stephen Kosslyn ..... 77............... 21....... 91........... 101................107 trigger... 43........... 37.......... 109.......... 56........ 94................. 38... 77.. 47.. 77....... 46... 37..... 125....... 78.. 78....... 44..... 112.. 34................
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