This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. . Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. emotions and perceptions. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. when given the proper instructions.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. feelings. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. As I said before. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. neuro pathways. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you.
.................................32 EMOTIONS......................................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE................................................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .................... FORGIVENESS......................................3 AFFIRMATIONS.........................46 B...........................8 BALANCE ................................................ COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE...........................................................34 ENERGY .7 BALANCE... EMOTIONS............8 CHANGE...................................................... F.................................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS......................................................... C....................................................................................................................................................................37 FEAR ............... FEAR... BEREAVEMENT .....5 ANXIETY ........ CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE...43 GOALS ........... ANXIETY.......32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)................................................................................................... FOCUS.......................1 ADDICTION ...............................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE .....................................................................26 DIETING ......... E..............................................................................................................................................................................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).........................8 BEREAVEMENT ...............................1 ABUNDANCE ....................................................... ENERGY ............................................. DIETING...................................46 SMART GOALS ............................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .............. DRUGS TO ESCAPE .............................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ..... ANGER...................................35 FABULOUS........................................ D............29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE .....................40 FOCUS ..............................18 COMMUNICATION ... AFFIRMATIONS............................3 ANGER ............................................................... ...............37 FABULOUS ........................................................................................................ G.....26 DEPRESSION .............. ADDICTION..........................21 DEPRESSION...................................................
.......77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .....................72 MIND SUCCESS ............................................................................................................................................................77 OVERLOAD.........................................................................................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION................ ............... O................... KISMET ............H........................................................... J.................................................................................65 LIFE...............................................68 LUCK .......................................................................................... Q.......51 HYPNOSIS...........................49 HEALING ..................... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS.................................................................................. L....................... PROSPERITY .........................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .59 JEALOUSY.............................................. N........................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ..................................................... PHOBIAS.........................................................................................................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION............... HYPNOSIS............. LOVE................. LUCK .............................................................. MIND-BODY CONNECTION.............52 IMAGERY.........................................................49 HEART FIRE ...........................................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION... P........................................56 JEALOUSY .....80 PAIN.............................................................................................81 PHOBIAS ............... LIFE...................78 PAIN...........70 MALE DEPRESSION............. HEALING............................... PERCEPTION.............................................80 PERCEPTION ..............54 IMAGERY........................ INTUITION......... K............................................. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)..................... M...........................................................63 KISMET .................................................84 I...................54 INTUITION...........................................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)...........................................................63 KARMA .82 PROSPERITY .............................................................. MIND SUCCESS ......59 KARMA........67 LOVE.................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ..
....................................................................................................... VICTIMHOOD.....................................94 STRESS .................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE................... SELF-TALK.................................. DRINKER....... W................................................................................. RELEASING.................................... U...94 SELF CONFIDENCE....................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ......................................................114 ZEAL ......................86 RELATIONSHIPS ................104 VISUALIZATION ................................................... ii...........................96 STUCK .....................................103 VICTIMHOOD .................................. i...........................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.......................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE...............................................................R........ RITUALS FOR SUCCESS........................................ V............................106 WEIGHT......... STUCK ........99 TIMELINE THERAPY ............................................................................................................................................................................... EXERCISES .... YUMMY LIST ..117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS...........................................................................................................108 WEIGHT ...........................86 RELEASING ................. T..............114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ..........................................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.......114 YUMMY LIST .................................................................................... Y......88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ..........108 WORDS......110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)...................................116 S.................................... WORDS.............113 TWO FUTURES ................................................................. Z........... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)......... RELATIONSHIPS................111 X SMOKER................................................................. VISUALIZATION.................. iii .................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.......................................................................................122 INDEX ......................103 VALUE AREAS........................................................................................................... X..94 SELF-TALK.... BINGER ETC .......................... WOUNDS ...................
Even when we know we have this tool.net 1 . It is our perception of any event. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. usually as a result of fear. it is filled with laughter. AFFIRMATIONS. As a result. occurrence. a life that is rich and full. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. satisfying. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. we don’t trust it to be real. fear of success. however. incident. In order to make changes. love. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad.A ABUNDANCE. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. Fear of change. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. think we are making progress or stagnating. ADDICTION. excitement and yes. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. fear of failure. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. © Copyright 2003. The future. even worse. Because of this. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. indeed. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. ANGER. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. money and success. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever.
It is important though. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A tempo that is magnetic. i.e. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. alcohol. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. Your first step. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. the more vibrant and alive you become.net 2 .. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. however. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. at least while they are using their drug. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. People without strong desires slowly whither away. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. the more connected you feel. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. no matter what program you are going through. helps them suppress the pain. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. Allow that desire to flow through you. cocaine. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. you do have a choice. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. however. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. who you can call when you feel you might slip. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. at least for a while. Unfortunately. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. and life just gets better and better. so.
However. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. When you face this pain that you have been running from. the addict.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. The sooner we realize and accept that.habitdoc.secularsobriety. so. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.com www. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. I agree with this school of thought. Many people. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. www. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. but you don’t have to.com www. if it is not done. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.passagesmalibu.practicalrecovery. then you.org www. you will forever remain an addict. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. though.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt.net 3 . The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. A friend of mine once told me. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. your computer. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. Don’t let fear hold you back.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. When you do this. If necessary. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. • Be specific.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. © Copyright 2003. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality.” Or say. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. When you move towards what you want. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. always focus on what you want to move towards. then that means you are on the right track. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship.net 4 . when what you really mean is. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. Always create an image of what you want in your life. not what you want to avoid. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. So.” • State your affirmations in the positive. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. • Always remember this.” the message sent to your mind. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. that’s like moving uphill. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” Or “I will lose weight. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. the steering wheel of your car. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress.
anger is the most common response. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. If you see yourself as a victim. drug abuse and depression. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. So. you may see yourself as an avenger. resentment. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. going from one trauma to the next. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. then anger becomes a serious health risk. When a relationship ends. fatigue. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. crying. hostility. looking for justice and revenge. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. eating disorders. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. alcoholism. Holding onto anger. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. it can be just as damaging. When this is the case. Even if we bury anger deep inside. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. along with mourning. In addition. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. you may blame others for your situation or condition. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking.net 5 .ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. But some people seem to be angry all the time. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. shaking. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. In situations that cause fear. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. and in small doses can be a good thing. Not only is this destructive to you. and heart palpitations. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. cold hands. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. hurt. can lead to serious food addictions.
Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. In the past.net 6 . You could find yourself intentionally irritating. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. but anger that may be directed at you by others. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. © Copyright 2003. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. bitterness. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. Also. expressing your anger in an indirect way. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. alcohol and drug abuse. cancer. and can help make you more content. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Remember. and stubborn. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). sarcastic. Power and anger are frequently related. coronary disease. and can lead to serious food addictions. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. it will never go away. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. and depression. If you feel powerless. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. suicide. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. fear and hurt. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Unfortunately.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. and even increased workplace injuries. however. releasing your anger. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless.
If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. shakiness. weakness. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. © Copyright 2003. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. nausea. being home alone. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. anxiety. fear or anxiety. mood swings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear or anxiety. Also. driving a car. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. etc. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used.net 7 . Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. flying. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. Fears.). if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia.
BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. that happiness must come from within ourselves. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. The problem was. I told him the usual stuff. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. you know.net 8 . Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. then he’d really truly be happy. a perfect balance. Twelve hours of day and night. Good advice. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. let them be a reminder to look inside. getting involved with a church. No one can tell you how to be happy. place or thing that can make you happy.B BALANCE. right? Yes and no. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. No matter what you hear. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. Just think about that a moment. Sometimes we need reminders. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. There isn’t another person. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. it didn’t work. then it would make him happy as well. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. Happiness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. job or whatever you are seeking. if we are angry. and in doing so. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. They allow you to clear out the old. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. It will. stop thinking it to death. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. jane@changingpeople. to balance the light and dark within yourself. desire. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. working for you. No matter how hard we may try. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind.net 9 . goal. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. the right kind of suggestions. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. even the words we use. Whether it’s an emotion. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. feeling.co.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. our voice. fulfillment and life find you. lover. But even more than that.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. Woods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In this state. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. You are able to access your subconscious. That means stop analyzing everything so much. happiness.
When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. and so on. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. However. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. for example. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. just a little. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. To a degree that can be true. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help.the intensity and duration may differ. and generally we prefer not to think about it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That said. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. you must do what is right for you. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). It is an immutable part of the human condition. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . letting relevant people know. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved.net 10 . © Copyright 2003. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss.
Help them tell you their feelings. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. or those suffering alongside us.Denial A second common response. This is where someone less involved can offer help. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. and just plain wrong. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. is a refusal to believe the news. “If I do this. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. We may need evidence. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. © Copyright 2003. Often that is enough. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. Some enlightened doctors know. we may be compelled to visit the scene. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. we may need to be told several times. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. or for feeling angry. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. once the first shock waves have abated. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. a normal response. uncaring. when they are breaking bad news to patients. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone.net 11 . For example. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. recognizing it and naming it. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. disconcertingly. It is unrealistic but again.
At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. For example. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. like fundraising for a particular charity. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. and even our clothing. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. when our behaviour. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. just let it go.net 12 . Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. was decreed. I have lost someone significant in my life’. how to manage our grief. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. even perhaps depressed. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. You cannot short circuit this process. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave.
This does not mean forgetting them. which can be a comfort. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. People want to help but they often don’t know how. However hard it is. You may find. © Copyright 2003. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. be it with a handshake or a hug. feeling there is no point. and this will of course vary from person to person. however it feels. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. But actually. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. we begin to move on. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. Experiment At some point. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise.net 13 . try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. we experiment with new ways of behaving. you never go right back to the beginning. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. not in any sense. Let close friends offer you comfort. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. in this phase. So. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. such as excessive use of alcohol. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. ask them. If you need a hug. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain.
taking flowers to an appropriate place. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. If you can. Of course. be it taking some homemade food round. ritual can be helpful at this time. be it lighting candle.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. Helping In Western culture.” © Copyright 2003. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. take medical advice. as I have said. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. so we need to use our discretion. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. whether for you personally. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described.net 14 . “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. a card sincerely written. or an offer of help with the shopping. surrounded by people. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Literally. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. I hope it has been helpful however. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Knowing this can help you plan for it. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Again. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly.
This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. depending on the severity of the change.co.C CHANGE. depending on the change.net 15 . It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. and some simply telling you how to do it.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. Just remember this. we can get very fed up. some anecdotal. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. some research based. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. jane@changingpeople. almost no one likes it. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. even depressed. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Sometimes. Finally. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. Woods. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. How to Cope with Change By Jane C.
the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work.net 16 . However. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. You are feeling bright and chirpy. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. It may ring a bell with you. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. A Story Here is a short story about change. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. “What?” you say.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Worse. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. © Copyright 2003. Finding they are. You are speechless at first. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence.
you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague.But then. For example. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. don’t just focus on the negatives. Use two different colours if you like. For example. and. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then.. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. or determined to make more effort. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. vulnerable. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. angry. So. That is a fact to record on the top line. did it make you sad. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen.net 17 . When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. yes. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies.. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. joy of joys. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. no one but you is going to see this. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you.
Similarly with our responses to change. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. © Copyright 2003. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. For example. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. The same principle applies to you. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. are funny things. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. One may approach it in a positive way. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. They begin almost imperceptibly. another to frown and feel aggrieved. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. however. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. while another may be much more fatalistic. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Obviously. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. But as the sun rises. our responses to change are individual and personal.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. and therefore our feelings. Dawns. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. Sometimes. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. At first. our thoughts. no one makes us feel anything. However. Then. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. Actually. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. overloaded message units and repressed fears. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light.net 18 . as the dawn progresses. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen.
anxiety and emotions. clumsy. For example. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. given enough time and repetition. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. you do not need to feel this way. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. When this happens. need or want. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. Unfortunately. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. you are in essence training your mind. remember “dawn” can and will happen. however. If you are starting to feel anxious. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. but will actually consider them an order. confidence. you start to believe it yourself. Giving you the feeling of freedom. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. confused or fearful. see the right path. even our physical health and well being. apprehension and fear. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. Be absolutely clear about what you want. relaxation. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. detailed imprint of what you desire. © Copyright 2003.net 19 . your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. inept. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. Ultimately. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity.
all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. mold them and do it over and over again. abundance. Guide them. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. Trust that the Universe has. want and desire. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. it is a journey.achieving prosperity. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. you need to be aware.net 20 . It does make a difference. confidence and trust. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. you always have a choice. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. yoga. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. all of your life. It’s the life in your years.” So live your life fully. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. so. As Abraham Lincoln once said. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. You will feel stronger. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. If you want a New Beginning. then the real fun can start. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. you are actually living the life you want. Know that no matter what things might look like. does and will continue to offer you what you need.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. with clarity. realizing all the possibilities available to you. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. in addition.
The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships.net 21 . Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. I truly believe that faith. It is important not to go looking for your sign. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. our answers are all around us. engage and listen. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. The problem is that we communicate differently.knowing. dolphins . courage. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. © Copyright 2003. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. yellow balloon. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. look and listen.
the way we communicate with each other.net 22 . Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. people don’t realize just how true this is. how they can come apart. First. enjoys spur of the moment activities. Communication. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. but E&P affects. possibly even throws things when angry. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. In relationships. is so much more than simple questions. and how natural and normal this is. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. It is the physical who yells. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. cries. it isn’t. screams. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. among other things. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. So. An example would be. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. they will answer yes or no. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. however. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. opposites really do attract. if you ask a physical if they are cold. whatever when upset.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. These two types. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed.
You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special.The same thing occurs when communicating. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside.net 23 . the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. You had to be strong. however is just one part of communication. This E&P communication. Also. Remember though. We heal from physical injuries. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. self-confidence. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. you can see how this could be problematic. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Since we tend to project our thoughts. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. Conversely. © Copyright 2003. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. It becomes a vicious circle. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. they can ruin lives. the more the physical pushes. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. Words have power.
This is why “words” do have so much power.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. your talent. by working it. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. throughout your life entire life. But you are wrong. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. beautiful heart and so much love to give. intelligence and compassion. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. leave. each of us. As a matter of fact. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Your life depends on it After all. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger.net 24 . The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. but not only that. Think and dream about your future. bad relationship and can keep on going. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. is powerful beyond belief. The same holds true for what you hear. this planet needs you. find out what you can do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. someone will answer. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. © Copyright 2003. Also. wider and stronger each and every day. dreams and desires. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. You know because I say it over and over again. The woman who has come out of a nasty. But most of all. call out for help. keep your thoughts strong. Make some calls.
words can hurt you. © Copyright 2003. words can destroy you. Vent when you are alone. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. scream and yell and swear all you want. Once said they are out there forever. wife. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back.net 25 . husband. our child.Each of us. And that’s really what venting to another person is. But when you are with someone you care about.
© Copyright 2003. conditions and illnesses. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. In addition. Miller goes on to stress. suicidal feelings. AND -. and just like any other habit. As research continues in this area. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. DIETING.even into very advanced old age. thought patterns and thought habits. depression. No one is born with such a brain -. In fact. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. According to Dr. Dr. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. however. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available.D DEPRESSION.it is created. if this work fulfills its potential. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org 26 . Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves….here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. but in essence they are just like any other habit. if we want to. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . Researchers like Dr. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. Jill Ammon-Wexler. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. According to Dr.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons.
You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. etc. © Copyright 2003. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. “disappointed in my relationships”. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience….use it or lose it.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. healthy muscles. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. fulfilled life. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. What it does understand. What we think. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want.net 27 . those interconnections then expand and strengthen. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. even more importantly. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. Think about that a moment. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. what we say to ourselves. I don’t want to be around negative people. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. “unhappy”. I just want to be happy. though. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.
What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. reflect on the contrary. Fixing one problem can often help the other. 2005. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear.. October 18. Take responsibility for your thoughts. many people are also realizing that much of their pain.” observes Dr. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. Ph. Parkinson’s disease. with the aid of hypnosis. it will continue to go on. is originating on a deeper. epilepsy. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. heart disease. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. So. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. Reflect on the positive. Bruce Cohen. Woman’s World. on a subconscious level. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. whether it is physical or emotional.net 28 .D. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. When there is negative thinking. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 100 times more. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. subconscious level. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. Pay attention to what you are thinking. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. including cancer. Massachusetts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. stroke and Alzheimer’s.
it seems as if all the doctors. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. Confusing. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. we are really only getting part of the story. The first diet included six small meals a day. When most of us think about diet and weight.net 29 . but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. Chocolate was bad for you. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and these are serious issues indeed. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and of course. but in addition. © Copyright 2003. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. any kind of fat. sometimes to death. never a comparison with all the other studies. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. the second diet was only three meals a day. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). people. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. according to the New York Times. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. diet and weight. Part of one study. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. especially in the United States. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. test or theory. then we were told maybe it isn’t. especially our young women. The truth is. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. And throughout all of it. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. is bad for you. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. First we were told that fat. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. we just don’t want to do it. now again we are hearing. particularly among our young people. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes.
Just as with any weight. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. With the internet available to all of us. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. satisfaction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. one of the first things I tell them is. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. © Copyright 2003. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. both emotional and physical. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. by taking control of our thoughts. In fact.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. confidence or happiness. Knowledge is indeed power. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets.net 30 . As we live our lives. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. Releasing negative thoughts. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. a lack of fulfillment. weight issues are rarely just about weight. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. and getting the right kind of support and advice. it can include abandonment issues. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly.
You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. in fact. You can continue the work on your own. This is. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. So wonderful. © Copyright 2003. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. what do you think about.. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. Look at yourself. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. take control of your thoughts and change your life. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. I keep going back to this one phrase.e. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. that we keep going back to it.net 31 . Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place.Knowledge. what do you see. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. what does your world look like. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. though just an illusion. fear. i. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. If you don’t like it. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. though is not just about external fact. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. observe how you feel. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life.com.
including depression. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. a negative experience itself. has no value of its own. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. depression. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. ENERGY. anger. posttraumatic stress disorder. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. fear. any negative experience. Not a hypothetical path. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. anxiety.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. As I’ve written before. addictions and phobias. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. © Copyright 2003.net 32 . EMOTIONS. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. general stress. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance.
weight loss to pain and illness. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. to addiction.net 33 . In addition. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. deprivation. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. As stated earlier. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. With or without hypnosis. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. do not use self-hypnosis.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. Remember. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. With regard to addictions. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. EFT can help with both the cravings. emptiness and anxiety. war trauma or severe physical illness. understanding the negative experience is not enough. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. © Copyright 2003. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. and more importantly.
and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. hostility. Ryke Geerd Hamer. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. but our physical health as well. meditation. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. hurt and unforgiveness. One such study by Dr. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. accidents and increased workplace injuries. By forgiving. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. even more importantly. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. Likewise. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. It can even be linked to suicide. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. hurt.net 34 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. resentment. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. For example.
We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. white flour. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. vaccines. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. pathogens. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. seems somewhat contradictory. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. In most cases of cancer. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. exposure to toxic substances. diet. etc). emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Throughout this book you will find theories. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. but it is not. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. it prevents depression. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that we are out of balance. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. etc. In addition to nurturing your mind. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. such as genetics. whole grains.net 35 .specifically. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction.
visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. imagery. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. So. Hypnosis can help you. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. or an inability to let go and just relax. © Copyright 2003.who have the ability to relax more fully. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. but balance will return. stress.net 36 . While listening to your hypnotherapist. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life.
© Copyright 2003. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. try counting the chews in each bite. FEAR.net 37 . aiming for 30 to 50 times. until the food becomes liquid. soy. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. 2. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. FOCUS. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. Healthy fats. The indigestible parts of fruits. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. nuts.F FABULOUS.carotenoids in carrots. Increase your intake of fish. primary by reducing the inflammation. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. Chew properly. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. Fiber. safflower and vegetable oils. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. which as we know reduce inflammation. Fruits and vegetables and spices. whole grains. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. Their phytonutrients . Drink more water. turmeric. Eat the right foods. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. garlic liberally.
The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Losing weight gradually . But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Detox is a relative term. our organs. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Breathe. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. 6. Pesticides. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. The solution: Sweat. Our blood is what creates our cells. 3. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). But breathing is also effective. Eat homemade food. As a matter of fact.) If under pressure at meals. our tissues. Regular exercise should make you sweat. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. but so will saunas and hot baths. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. 4. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. Any form of exercise helps. chemicals from manufacturing. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. our hair.net 38 . which creates less gas. Detox. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. chew. our skin. take deep breaths. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. 5. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. Sweat – cleans up your system.
releases ‘happy’ chemicals. 7. etc. I call it facial meditation. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. relaxes your body. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. and improve overall health. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. Tai chi -moving meditation . Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. improving your healthy well-being. bread. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. refined flours. grains.net 39 . 9. Have sex. 10. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. fats. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. fried foods. our relationships. Yoga poses reduce stress levels.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. 8. Have a home-made facial. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. Even if you can’t tell a joke. meats. you sure can laugh at one. focused. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. hydrogenated fats. Laugh. © Copyright 2003. boost mood. Take the laughter yoga class. diary products.it is delicious. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . our jobs. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables.consists of slow.
sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. a short while. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. insomnia or lack of energy. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.net 40 . it keeps us from making a big mistake. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. one thing seems to come up most frequently. FEAR: fear of change. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. what we expect. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www.naturalcounselor. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. mood swings. That one thing is FEAR. healthy and joyous life you want. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. or even worse. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. fear of failure. fear of success.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. that one thing. though. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that.
“Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. as we grew older. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. Be honest. relationships. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. in order to be an adult. instead. we are afraid to dream. the world of adults. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. © Copyright 2003. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. the more vibrant and alive we become. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. we were told to leave those dreams behind. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. Your goals must be your very own. for the most part. 2. But. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. afraid of disappointment. write down your goals and if you did write them down. get out your list and read it again. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. career and health because you are afraid of failing. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. People without strong desires slowly whither away. and life just gets better and better.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. the more connected we feel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. we have chosen. As children we were free to play. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. friends and lovers live this kind of life. Something that is important to you right now. and grow up. afraid to believe and afraid to hope.net 41 . We were told to grow up. If you haven’t done so already. This is wrong. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. When you have specific. pretend and let our imaginations soar. have a reasonably happy life.
That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. parent. As an example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. You know. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. Remember the Power of Affirmations. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind.3. push yourself to ask for help now. laughing. Focus. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Sometimes. 4. if your goal is to run a marathon.net 42 . so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. When you say your affirmations out loud. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. breathing things. even though we would gladly give it if asked. FOCUS Look around you. though. Use them. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. a powerful tool. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. it’s hard to focus. If you have not asked for support much in the past. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. doing something together. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. crying and so on. 5. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. life coach or whomever and ask for support.
It disables your emotional resources. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. resentment or anger. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. success and fulfillment. The subconscious processes everything. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. psychological imbalances. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. health. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. though. affirmative statements. Over time. physical and emotional well-being. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. whether asleep or awake. Luckily. © Copyright 2003. touch. and continues to affect our lives to some degree.net 43 . They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. recorded on brain and body cells. though. forgive and accept forgiveness. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning.taste. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. negative or neutral to our mental. you are bombarded with millions of message units. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. When we go through periods of stress. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. sight. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. interpersonal and relationship problems. confront the situation as needed. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. This is commonly referred to as memory. smell and hearing. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. our subconscious is able to do this for us. During the course of a day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that release. it still exists in our subconscious. and its effects may be positive. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis.
6. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. 3. They are also © Copyright 2003. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Once learned. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. tears. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. This not only applies to a current. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. existing situation. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. 2. laughter and perspiration. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. During the Releasing session. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. 4. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. Even when we sleep long hours. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. 5. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. anger.net 44 . either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. fear and anxiety. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process.
At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. © Copyright 2003. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself.” 7. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. and feeling great. the brain is your biological computer. disappointment. etc. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. As people from all backgrounds. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). can be done alone. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. function as a computer operator. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. have learned. including health care professionals and clergy. as a Soul. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. the Releaser is asked to state. however. sadness. once learned.).” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. and your body and life are the printout. 8. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. such as anger.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. “I release (relevant emotions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session.net 45 .
Think of it as a game. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. If you think about anger. whether it is an emotion. fun. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Each of us is already whole. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. not really happy. A state of being is not an emotion. Sometimes. You choose what you want in your life. an activity or a thing. though. take the color blue for example. Conversely. not only does life get depressing. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. Without goals.net 46 . We find ourselves drifting along. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. a diversion to keep life interesting. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. “I don’t know what I want. After you’ve done this. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. A really simple way to test this theory is this. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. thoughts and ideas. your current life situation. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. I don’t know about you. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. if you think about a color. Not only in your own relationships. something that is crucial to goal setting. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. meaningful and exciting. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This same principle works the same way for emotions. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger.
Adjustments are a good thing. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. doesn’t mean I can have him. © Copyright 2003. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled.net 47 . SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. If you do this regularly. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. keeps us feeling alive. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. But you can’t manifest everything you want. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. change is the whole point. not if you want to improve your life. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. they will never be overwhelming. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. sometime weekly. Don’t forget about free will. it would be a boring and scary world. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. simple Measurable. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. responsible. He’s got free will just as we all do. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). it just means you make an adjustment.
by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. So. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure.net 48 . set those goals. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. © Copyright 2003.Remember. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
turning some functions on and others off. imagery. and help strengthen the immune system.net 49 .H HEALING.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. releasing negative thoughts. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. In a pilot study published in 1999. Ph. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis.. speed up healing after surgery. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. Working from the inside out. © Copyright 2003. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. by using specific. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. visualization and positive suggestions. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains.D. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). relieve depression and so much more. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. As David Spiegel. lower blood pressure. It can help relieve pain. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves.
” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. Every 15 minutes.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied.net 50 . though. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. soothing kind of treatment. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. The suggestions. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. in terms of levels of pain. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. empathic care provider and hypnosis. During the operation. and the third received standard care. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. anxiety and the need for painkillers. that’s because it is. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. © Copyright 2003. Arreed Barabasz. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.
” Using imaging technology. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. “It’s not just a fantasy. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. And this list goes on and on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In effect. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. realizing all the possibilities available to you. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness.net 51 . While it is particularly effective in removing anger. then the real fun can start. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. psychologists say. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. A journey that you can now control. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. the brain’s manager and planner. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. which could account for heightened attention. Once again. the hypnotized patients used less medication. On average.” says Spiegel. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. Spiegel and Lang found.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. experienced less pain. involving more than 330 patients.” says Marc Schoen. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. you actually see it. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. While in the trance. If you think you are seeing color. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003.
even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. © Copyright 2003.jealously. hurt. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. My purpose is to help them remember. tension and minor frustrations. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). we each have to deal with something. As we each move through life. We have to cope with irritating. Try it once and feel the results. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. unpleasant. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. you can do this exercise while awake. stress. rude or just plain nasty people. Some little problem or some big problem. All life starts as a spark. fear. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. Problems that we encounter every single day. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. NewBeginnings email@example.com 52 . hurt. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. though. Each incident throughout the day affects us. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. With a bit of practice. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. Sometimes. When I say fuel. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. this spark can grow a little dim. resentment.
” Using hypnosis. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. you will feel refreshed. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. clarity. Try hypnosis. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. and much better about yourself. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. however. comfort. feel or react. every message unit. euphoria and control of your life again. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. you create a vivid. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. but the results will amaze and delight you. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing.net 53 . Some pleasant. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. not only will you feel better immediately. As a result. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. more positive thoughts. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. relaxed. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. The more visual and real you make your goal. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. If there is anything in your world. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. anything at all about yourself. © Copyright 2003. a professor of psychology at Harvard. According to Stephen Kosslyn.
com Cheryl is talking about imagery.cheryloneil. good or bad.I IMAGERY. what we say to ourselves. Conversely. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. create passionate relationships. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. can often help the other. etc. 2006. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. heal your body. fixing a problem in one place. Your ability to overcome obstacles. who I especially admire. www. boost your mood. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. and change your life . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Simply put. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure.is determined by the thoughts you think. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. fear or confidence. The brain is simply another organ in your body. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis.” What we think. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. More and more doctors as well as patients. As stated in Woman’s World.net 54 . However. depressed © Copyright 2003. build self-confidence. once wrote.. feel more loved.” Cheryl O’Neil. mend your ways. etc. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. September 26. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. Never. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. failure or success. What we experience as feelings.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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Another way I practice is with elevators. use a deck of cards. Motivation. NewBeginnings email@example.com 58 .qualifiedlifecoach. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. “What we think about we bring about. Private & Group Coaching.com © Copyright 2003. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. You rise above thinking in mediation. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. Law of Attraction.com. Reiki. The fourth part is training your mind. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. 98% of the time I am right. Abundance. You know that saying. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. Meditation. Self Esteem. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%.
Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. That’s the truth of love. you may go into a rage. succeed. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. projections. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. You want to see them become more of who they are. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. It is essential to communicate clearly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You want revenge. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. envy. and grow. enjoy their life. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. no matter what that entails. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. Often. and if so. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. If you can cool down. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction.net 59 . You want to stop what you are feeling. delusions. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. You are angry. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. You feel violated. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. in control of yourself and your partner.
layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. If your relationship is based on Attachment. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. you cannot. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. © Copyright 2003. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. the jealousy resides within you. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault.net 60 . you will often experience the pain of jealousy. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. you cannot make a person love you. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. It does not.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. If you move inward and look at yourself. not within the relationship. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. If you can do this. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. Jealousy is like an onion. You can give yourself the gift. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship.
Look at your beliefs. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. This is projecting. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. we find envy. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. You do not own it. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. the truth behind what you are feeling. envy. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. This is natural and normal. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. really look and analyze them. Look at the reality. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Another layer can be guilt. you can reach self-awareness. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. guilt or anger. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. The truth is that for most of us. This insight. Another layer is projection. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. It is their own. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Projection. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. These all grow out of expectation. Going down to an even deeper layer. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. We think that we should be able to rise above it.net 61 . there is nothing to feel guilty about.
Perhaps you fear abandonment. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. If you find yourself doing this. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. our childhood. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. they still don’t meet your expectations.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. When you attempt to possess another person. but attachment. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. and let that be who you are. When you love. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. Hypnosis can help. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. You can choose to move away from those feelings. the resentment and the hurt. frequently they are not real. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of being alone. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. © Copyright 2003. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. Open your heart and mind to it. Once you release the anger. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. let that guide you. By looking deep within. You do not need to experience jealously. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. If you love someone. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. fear of not being worthy of love. you become yourself possessed. then what you are experiencing is not love. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. They come from our past. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You become vulnerable. Surrender to it. If you are experiencing jealously. you can watch that love radiate out for all. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. Fear of loss. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. look deep within yourself at these feelings.net 62 .
Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. Jain. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. or alternatively. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. There is no judgment involved. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). present and future and because of this.K KARMA. all of which determine our future. but generally the concept is basically the same. Just a thought. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. if you prefer. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Most people © Copyright 2003. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate.net 63 .
which is a huge component of the human psyche. participate and change the direction you are heading. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable.associate Destiny with fate. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. fate and destiny are not the same. In the Shang dynasty in China. Step in. © Copyright 2003. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. saint or seer.net 64 . but fate makes no allowance for free will. As stated above. If you are not satisfied with your life. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. Fate implies no choice. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. prophet. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In the belief systems of many cultures.
Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. What ever it is.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. LIFE. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” It’s about where you put your focus. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. “What you think about will happen in your life. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. “Let the chips fall where they may”. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. The concept of the law of attraction is. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. is a good analogy. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. start by writing it down. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. © Copyright 2003. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. that can help you with exactly that. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is.net 65 . LOVE. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. The old saying.00 a year income.000. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. For example.
That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. You asked for what you wanted. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. talk to those people. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back.net 66 . It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. pay attention to what happens next. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. pay attention. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. There is something there to be learned or gained. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. Now that you have set this up. now grab it. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. you then attracted it.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. You have made it clear. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. allowing it to happen is vital. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. etc. don’t panic. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. I promise you it will show up. Now the key here is to follow up with this. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it.
originally thought of. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. who has no idea that she is. She told him something I want to share with all of you. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. tele-classes and resources are offered. Go to my web site for more information. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.net 67 . Individual Coaching. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. that is the Universe telling you go…. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you.in a different package.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa.qualifiedlifecoach. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. you used them to learn about yourself. So live your life. she said “You didn’t waste those years.” And I realized as she told me this. Not only that. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. a very wise woman. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. life is messy. As a Life Coach / Business Coach.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. www. Group Coaching. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives.com. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. maybe © Copyright 2003. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. The sooner we realize and accept that. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. You never. It is never wasted and it is never lost.
Compassion (Com-pas’sion). romance. never have. I’m not sure why exactly. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. often including a desire to help. I know. then. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. © Copyright 2003. partnered. trust . the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. married or alone.] Shak. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. Definition: To pity. v. First. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. some which I like and others not so much. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. you are perfect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. compassion and faith. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. dating. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. healing. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. [Obs. t. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. all kinds of love. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. sex. I was reminded recently. com·pas·sion. A noun. but yes.net 68 . those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough.” When we talk about compassion. living this life to experience love.
where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. in the process. heal others and yourself. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. that negative voice in your head. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered.K. someone around you. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. with all their faults. and. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. nobody can make it for you. © Copyright 2003. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. then maybe. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. Luck is a real. one that you can get behind. Give yourself a break. then someone else. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Instead of listening to that old record. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. measurable phenomenon. can start to love themselves as well. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. lazy or self-indulgent.net 69 .Another thing that is so important to remember. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. those we live with. My only question to your would be this. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. as well. work with or just come into contact with.
During the past 50 years. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. In the past. Depression can manifest in many different forms. certainly not for a real man. February 26. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. with all these statistics facing us. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. sex. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. In addition. And yet. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.D. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence.M MALE DEPRESSION. or even make the depression worse. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. (Harvard Medical School). the depression and the cause of that depression. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause.net 70 . As Dr. but the underlying causes vary.” Michael Craig Miller. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. and so do the ideal treatments. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. M.. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. This can make treatment especially difficult.e. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. 2007 article. “Depression may look like a single disease. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks.
love and happiness beyond measure.net 71 . it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. without wanting or meaning to. hurt.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. bitterness.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. Using © Copyright 2003. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. This is not easy. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. fear or anger that you are experiencing. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate.D. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. 2005. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. October 18. When you release the hurt. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. During the course of this journey and these detours. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. When this occurs. Edward M. the healing process. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. As Dr. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes. When you recognize that this is occurring. difficult and painful process. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. Working from the inside out. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. resentment. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. you take back control of your own life. As I quote above. smooth and without bumps or potholes.. Hallowell. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. With the aid of hypnotherapy. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. Woman’s World. Ph. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. however. helping you regain strong mental-health. There are detours that we must take. without help. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. fear. guilt and depression.
Dr. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Ryke Geerd Hamer. hurt.000 brain scans. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. alcoholism. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress.net 72 . pathogens. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hostility. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. but our physical body as well. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. © Copyright 2003. Holding onto anger. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. drug abuse and depression. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. This has been proven by Dr. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. With the help of 20. meditation. eating disorders. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. In addition. including diet. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. resentment. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. can lead to serious food addictions.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. a German physician.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another.
and © Copyright 2003. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. In addition to nurturing your mind. thought or image. This is a way of thinking. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. white flour. Believe me. It requires that you develop a success mind. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. I have been there and there is a way out. Success is a process of continually learning new information. and this applies to any negative emotion. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Success is largely an inner game. use it and use it frequently. anger is what you will bring into your life. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. yoga can help. keeping track of what is working and what is not. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. whole grains. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases.net 73 . etc). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but to your thoughts as well. if you focus on anger. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. vaccines. Ph.exposure to toxic substances. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. guide them in a positive direction. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. etc.D. Meditation works. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters.
Develop a process to examine your fears. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. You will have to change to be successful. © Copyright 2003. fear of hard work. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. or successful businessperson. make adjustments along the way. the less we fear them. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. Take time to dream. fear that we are not good enough. Gather new information. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. possibility is in the dreaming. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. generate new ideas. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. exploring one more option or opportunity. fear of what other people will think. but also change the world. foster creativity. fear of failure. Fear of change. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. conditioning. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. hardship. While success requires action.net 74 .making adjustments as you keep moving forward. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. This is one of the laws of success. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. you simply need to start. The success mind trains itself to ask. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. learn from your mistakes. and create new realities. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. Take action. and keep moving forward. and failure. if you talk to any star athlete. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. inventor. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. Yet. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). see unlimited possibilities.
When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities.net 75 . Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. adventure. It is never too late to develop your success mind. try on new perspectives. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. You continue to grow. and success. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. But once you say no to an opportunity. Remember. challenge. When you say yes. The time to begin is now. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Mental toughness. your world and your success. Not simply because you say yes. your actions. Question. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. create. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. experience. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. Your thoughts. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. form opinions. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. As you do this. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. you likely will feel fear. your feelings. and grow. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. think. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003.
Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail.. happier.success and rewards your effort. Inc. Visit her at www. engage again and refuse to quit. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org or www. mediator. lawyer.. and smart action. J.molliemarti. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. Dream big and take consistent.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Mollie Marti.D. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. is President of Best Life Design. © Copyright 2003. better. Stop caring what other people think.D. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Ph. performance coach.net 76 .bestlifedesign. directed. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. redirect the effort. and healthier lives. make corrections.
net 77 . NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. however. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Unfortunately.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. sports. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. However. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Robert Dilts. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. sales. There is. and interpersonal influence. linguistics and computer science. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. management training. John Grinder. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. © Copyright 2003.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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fire. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force.net 81 . His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. health healing. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. occurrence. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. NewBeginnings firstname.lastname@example.org for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. Use it for minor headaches. Whether it makes us happy or sad. use Yellow) money. Also. remember that red not only represents life force. growth. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. red would probably not be the best color to use. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. You have the power to change your perception. think we are making progress or stagnating. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. activity. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. © Copyright 2003. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here.
You are then taken back to the phobia again. control it and use it wisely. though. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. but it is not a gift at all. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. Basically. But the results tend to be permanent. Perception is a powerful thing. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. there will be no emotional response. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. it can make your life almost unbearable. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia.net 82 . you know how debilitating it can be to your life. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Relief is truly immediate. After you are put into a hypnotic state. Depending on the phobia. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. this is how it works. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. By the time your therapist is done. It can be done in person and over the phone. If you are suffering from a phobia. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. Once you have faced your phobia. this power. Take control. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. Sometimes. © Copyright 2003. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool.
Marti. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. and not just money or things. and not just a lack of money or things. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Poverty is a way of living and thinking.net 83 .” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. fun. both written by Dr. it may be necessary to make some changes. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. fulfillment and yes. prosperity includes a rich. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. money as well. joyful and full life filled with love. Fear of change. Mollie W. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. you will enjoy them immensely. fear of failure. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. In order to accomplish this. For many people this is an uncomfortable process.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. happiness. however. thinking and dreaming. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. even fear of success. Frequently they are a result of fear. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you.
solid. hear. around us. In the dream it all seems very real. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. in about three or four paragraphs! So. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. instead. EPR Paradox. © Copyright 2003. It appears undeniably to be out there. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. separate from us. Schroedinger’s Cat. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. not the other way around. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Supersymmetry. because what was a mechanical. they are all phenomena within the mind. Grand Unified Theory. as I started to research this a bit. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). We can see it. space. and hear it. String Theory. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. taste. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and tangible. touch. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. however. standing as a physical world.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. in addition. They exist within consciousness. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation.net 84 . utterly real. Theory of Everything. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Unified Field Theory. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. smell. Superstring Theory. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. touch it. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. M-Theory. However real and external these images may seem. the Copenhagen Interpretation. Time. independent and apart from us. Loop Quantum Gravity. external universe. Quantum Gravity. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us.
Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. and there’s only one real way to do that. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality.So. huh? So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. Cool.net 85 . what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious.
when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. However. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. congratulations. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. cries or screams when upset. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. I am talking about just how we each relate to others.R RELATIONSHIPS. read on. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions.net 86 . It is the physical who yells. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. Unfortunately. how they can come apart. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. © Copyright 2003. In addition. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. First. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you are not. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. RELEASING. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. These two distinct types. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. possibly even throws things when angry. our behavior patterns. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction.
He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. he cannot understand why. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. When his partner complains that they never see each other.net 87 . they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. I really do mean attraction. To her partner it is his career. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. his career. is quite a bit different. Next would be their children. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. When I say E&P attraction. She is happy. Let’s cover very briefly. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. The emotional. longer hours at the office. When they first meet. secure and © Copyright 2003. Their first priority is their career. And that’s a good thing. After all. outgoing. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. This is natural. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what the priorities of each are. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. But let’s look into the future several months. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. So he starts spending more time at work. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. And boy do they do relate. on the other hand. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. With the physical female. then hobbies. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. In relationships. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. For the physical. She on the other hand. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. the relationship is of primary importance to her.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us.
releasing occurs naturally. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. fear and guilt. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. When we are healthy and balanced. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. The process is quick. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective.net 88 . This is done through imagery and suggestion. Sometimes. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. communication is key to any successful relationship. sadness. What can be done about this. to get clear on your goals for the future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Release anger. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. though. With communication you can understand each other. Remember. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. When you understand how the other thinks. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. Plenty. Interestingly enough. © Copyright 2003.
RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. Both techniques are effective.net 89 . body and emotions. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. use your downloadable sessions first. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. doubts. hurt. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. and emotional states. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. physical. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. anger. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. process and recall information. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. Ph.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving.D. That may been all you need at this time. If your subconscious is ready. fears. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. Negative expectations. positive thoughts. unpredictability and lack of control.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. each and every day. reading a book. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. “It’s gray and cloudy. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. For example. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Rather. You give energy away to other people. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. You spend mental. make a choice to expect positive results. build in ways to recoup your energy. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. in and of © Copyright 2003.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. It’s going to be a gloomy. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. to your computer. taking in a deep breathe.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. and in countless other interactions. Many rituals are quite simple. As you add them to your day. boring day. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. you are ready for it. You wake up and your first thought might be. over the telephone. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. As you spend energy during the day. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals.net 90 . Think and say. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. Rest is any activity.
The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. For example. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. Influence Management: Before any performance. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control.itself. and discarding the emotion. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. nervousness. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. and anxiety. rhythmic breathing. anger. frustration. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. after working at your computer for an hour.net 91 . One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. After a 90-minute presentation. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. You’ve © Copyright 2003. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. you are less able to concentrate on your task. which is pleasurable and restorative. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. linking it with a unique physical action. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. guilt. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. fatigue. When you carry negative emotions like fear.
When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point .simply applied a band-aid. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Before you perform. If you travel. you might choose a banner. I “turn on” my full engagement. Any time you get distracted. a piece of art. body and emotions that it is time to perform. prior to a presentation or meeting. She chose a cloud as her focal point. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. Yet. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. . A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. © Copyright 2003. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. even if it is a good thing. or a clock on the wall. such as a doorframe. works well. As you travel or perform in different locations. This leads to a less than stellar performance. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. can be viewed as a distraction. As I cross the line. try to use the same type of focal point. . The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. If you are in your office or in a conference room. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. back to my task. “OK. consciously look at your focal point. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. but when it came time to start. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. it also had drifted off. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. I image a red line on the floor. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. A tangible engagement cue.net 92 . You also need to tell your body it’s time to go.
D. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine.. better. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. they will provide great consistency.com or www. performance coach. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. it won’t feel right. This means that if you get away from your rituals. and success. As part of this process. is President of Best Life Design. If you cannot identify your rituals.. successful entrepreneur. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. and healthier lives. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. It will throw you off. Mollie Marti. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals.bestlifedesign.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. mediator. alcohol. happier. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. A close companion is the use of stimulants. Inc. Ph. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. Visit her at www.molliemarti. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. lawyer. © Copyright 2003. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. including caffeine and adrenaline. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. J. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind.net 93 . concentration.D.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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salmon. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. garlic. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. impatience. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. causing irritability and nervousness. prunes. etc. bananas. seafood. such as hormonal imbalances. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. moodiness and nervousness. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. kelp. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. leafy vegetables. © Copyright 2003. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. Vitamin B6. Unfortunately. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. apples. exhaustion. irritability. kale. oats. asparagus. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. chronic fatigue. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. depression. fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. cabbage. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. fish.to be one of the first things that goes.net 97 . apricots. Vitamin B12. Calcium. depression. Almonds. irritability. blood sugar fluctuations. brown rice. mustard greens. broccoli. sesame seeds. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. You need eat more avocados. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. worry. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates.
the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. such as a squishy ball. barley. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Bottom line though. brown rice. legumes. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. I know mine always have been). Kiss. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. you must relax. salmon.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. mood swings. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. but if something happens to us. our family? So let us be stress smart. a founder of NaturalCounselor. Start squeezing something. to work away your tension.net 98 . Walk. oatmeal. our cortisol levels drop. oranges.com © Copyright 2003. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. In addition. mushrooms. root vegetables (such as potatoes. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. nobody will. tuna and whole grains. Call a friend. carrots and turnips). green leafy vegetables. lentils. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Squeeze a squishy ball. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. dates. insomnia or lack of energy.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Sing.naturalcounselor. who will take care of our children. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves.Folic acid. though.
You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. I know I have. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. If you wake up today affirming an illness. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Energy is constantly in motion. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. a feeling. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. For example. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. If you wake up today focusing on debt. According to the laws of physics. but to the energy of the present moment. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. if you are having a problem with money.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist.net 99 . If you understand that. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. because you cannot stand still. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. I used to feel that way often.
Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. During the sessions. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have.” Ginandes says. You don’t have to create change. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. for example.net 100 .” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. And. can influence the body to heal itself. it doesn’t matter why it works.D. smooth.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck.D. Ph.” So. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Ph. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. Pain sufferers. for most people. You need to make room for change. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different.. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. In a pilot study published in 1999. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. our results suggest. really. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. and elastic. meanwhile. © Copyright 2003. In a follow-up experiment published last year. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. the truth is. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Hypnosis. It is only important that it does. Patients who suffer from panic attacks.
the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. There is no correct answers.net 101 . your love and your joy. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Take your time with this. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. to the left or to the right. If it’s behind you. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. for you happiness and your abundance. look down on the Time Line. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. © Copyright 2003. Take responsibility for your life and direction. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. Remember. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. it is what feels best for you. Remember. When you have determined the directions of past and future.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future.
© Copyright 2003. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. bad things just happen.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. It might not have looked that way to others. It can look that way to others. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. Without getting specific about each of them. I’d like you to consider another alternative. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. even if they cannot give it back. you made a mistake. You procrastinated. Sometimes what you need. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances.net 102 . you stuck by the wrong person. You need them to tell you to be strong. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light.
© Copyright 2003. Picture yourself at age 80. VICTIMHOOD. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. etc. Spirituality. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. another may practice Hinduism. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. you need to define what it is you want. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. whatever feels right.net 103 . First. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 85. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. 90. For example. while another may be a Wiccan.
there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate.net 104 . You might get angry. If it is what you believe.Now think back over your life. What areas cause you regret. are you really meant to be together. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. is you. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. but not only that. friends. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Remember. However. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Perhaps you are abused. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. church and society. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. then you’ve got a problem. © Copyright 2003. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. you will certainly feel violated. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. mugged or even raped. or even the perceptions of our family. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. What you might think is wrong. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Figure it out early. Think about all the value areas of your life. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. Something very unpleasant. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. then your perception makes it right.
unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. etc. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. A rather sad. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. But just take a moment now and really think about it. my mother didn’t give me enough love. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life.S. my husband ignores me. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. my mother didn’t understand me. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. my friends don’t understand me. etc. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. my kids don’t show me any respect. happiness and joy available to each of us..net 105 . etc. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. and society actually encourages this thought. however. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. It wasn’t fun.I want you to consider something. it means you are not responsible for anything.” But. And. my wife doesn’t understand me. Here in the U. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. Life. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. for what you do and what you say.. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. But now.
. build self-confidence. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. etc.net 106 . because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. Fixing a problem in one place though. we lose everything. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. eventually. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. The woman who has come out of a nasty. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. September 26. is powerful beyond belief. each of us. beautiful heart and so much love to give. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. bad relationship and can keep on going. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. As stated in Woman’s World. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. For example. never © Copyright 2003. can often help the other. it is the ability to enjoy life. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. please. feel more loved.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Simply. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. If we take back control. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. boost your mood. etc.who you are. 2006. You had to be strong. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. If that is taken away from us . We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. Remember.
So. relieve pain. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. © Copyright 2003. your imagination. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. Is essence.net 107 . depressed or negative. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. If you are feeling down. Use the power of your mind. increase your self-confidence. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. can change how your feel.
Confusing. alcohol. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. 4. scientists.W WEIGHT. First one. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. The truth is. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. refined. included six small meals a day. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes.net 108 . bleached flour. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best..) 3. diet and weight. Not only that. before facts have actually been verified. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First.e. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. it’s good again. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. 5. however. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. WORDS. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. the only diet that had ever worked for them. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. If. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. etc.
9. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 8. 17. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. Do you associate a person. 10.net 109 . Has your mother. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. © Copyright 2003. 19. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 20. Do you eat breakfast? 15.6. 18. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 7. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. they include abandonment issues. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel.net 110 . More often than not. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. a lack of fulfillment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You know © Copyright 2003. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. having said all that. you know that as strange as it may sound. Abuse victims. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. self-confidence. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. confidence and happiness.Now. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. by working it. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. WRONG! Words have power. You had to be strong. We heal from physical injuries. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. survivors. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. satisfaction. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim.
think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. The same holds true for what you hear. your talent. When this occurs. call out for help. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. As a matter of fact. But when you are with someone you care about. throughout your life entire life.net 111 . scream and yell and swear all you want. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. But most of all. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. someone will answer. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Vent when you are alone. intelligence and compassion. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. Once said they are out there forever. words can hurt you. Also. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. Think and dream about your future. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. husband. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. dreams and desires. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. find out what you can do. Your life depends on it After all. Make some calls. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. And that’s what venting to another is. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. lover. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. but not only that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I have to say this. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way.because I say it over and over again. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. This is why “words” do have so much power. wife. this planet needs you. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. And for each of us. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. keep your thoughts strong. wider and stronger each and every day.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. But you are wrong. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control.
or.withdraw into ourselves. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. when things are going smoothly. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis.net 112 . you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Releasing sessions can work well with these. much like arthritis in wet weather. If you can do this. can help. However. especially in interpersonal situations. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. If you do not feel ready for that. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. © Copyright 2003. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this.
very clearly. And now let those images fade completely away. drinker.net 113 . Before you make that decision. doesn’t it?. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Once you decide that you want to quit. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you have done this. what is different and better. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Whatever it is. You have the opportunity to see a different future. © Copyright 2003. are you now sure which one you want. vital. Make a commitment and a decision. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. DRINKER. Notice how you feel. binger or whatever.X X SMOKER. clear skin. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. the body you want. your energy will flow in that direction. you have a decision to make. drinking. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. BINGER ETC. vibrant. Notice what you see. healthy. What do you look like. Make a promise to yourself. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. energy. clear and easy breathing. Wait 10-20 seconds. You can choose to live your life. the decision becomes easy. Of these two possible futures in your life. Wait 10-20 seconds. strong. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health.
it does not mean you will receive it. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. When you first begin to work your muscles. Compare it to strength training. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. you can only lift a small amount of weight. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. joy. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. a better job. you may never receive it. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. your entire belief system. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting.com. Everything in life is a choice. happiness. For instance. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. © Copyright 2003. your life script. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. success. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. So. In making a choice. you always have a choice.net 114 . In every phase of your life you need to be aware. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible.
It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down.com To me. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. © Copyright 2003. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list.net 115 . it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention.According to Holly. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. looking around. check it out at www.hollygleason. check it regularly. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are.
net 116 . intensity and passion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. please do it with zeal and without apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. or ideal and the determination to further that person. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. cause. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. An antonym is apathy. And always remember this. cause. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal. fight for your dreams and your goals.
it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. You can also visualize this word in your mind. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine.net 117 . The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. There are 15 points.” and the “sore spot. While you are doing these three karate chops. © Copyright 2003. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly.” “gamut spot.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. To make this even more effective. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
net 118 . 6. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF.” © Copyright 2003. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. You can go through the tapping process several times.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 4. 11. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 5. 9. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or AFRAID. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. 12. or anything you want changed. but do each issue separately. This is not a sentence. or DEPRESSED. 3. 7. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. Do what feels right for you. you can use just one or two words. anxiety. 2. 10. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. fear. 8.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.
” And that’s all there is to it.net 119 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you open all pathways to love.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. I love myself. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. you also release all negative thoughts. By burning away all anger and negativity. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. hurt. ideas and beliefs within yourself. your connection with yourself is complete. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. As you do this. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. And as your heart fire increases. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. emotions. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. feelings. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. resentment or negativity away. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. uncross your arms and legs. © Copyright 2003. And as your heart fire increases. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly.
stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. See it. hours. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. hear it (i.e. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. cleansing breath in and let it out. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. days. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. Take yourself fully into this place. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. smell it. smell the salt. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. at the beach. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. weeks. like salt. allow that color to flow in and out as well. If you feel like it and have the time. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. see the image). If another color comes to mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. anyplace. taking this time right now for myself..net 120 . Then when you are ready. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. months or even years to be released. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. hear the waves and the birds. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. Then imagine or visualize white granules. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. heal yourself and relax yourself.
Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. yourself. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. happy and having fun together. relationship.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. my guy and I are in love. You are in charge of your healing and your life. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want.net 121 . A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. activity. emotions. or whatever it is your desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Here’s my snapshot. Let go of all tightness within you. © Copyright 2003. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. thoughts and feelings. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. You are in control and in charge of your body. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire.
I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. With my thoughts I create my new. I vibrate with positive energy. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. © Copyright 2003. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. positive delightful reality. live in the moment and dream in the future. I keep saying ranch until that image. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I choose to forget past mistakes now. I say to myself RANCH.net 122 . You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.
...86 addict . 33. 19.. 103....... 7..... 43............................. 86............5... 36. 58.. 103.... 60. 71.... 127....... 21.... 128.. 55.... 87..... 24 eating disorders................... 95... 81..... 93.... 50....... 104.. 97.......30 anchor .... 57... 60.. 130 apprehension.. 89 fear 1............... 56...... 63...... 77....121 blood sugar .. 21...... 27...... 104........... 6..... 114.. 6... 46.... 32.. 81. 102........ 78... 39. 48. 116 disease............. 32. 55 emotional freedom technique . 37... 79....... 129 food addictions.... 79..3.. 26.. 114.... 89....... 32. 57.. 129..9. 43... 94. 53. 78.. 35. 38........... 50.5...... 52. 94........ 5. 38......53... 96...30.... 37. 5... 89. 94. 63...... 37..... 122.......... 20.... 56... 45. 54...7.... 95. 118 consciousness 8.......... 45. 39. 91........ 97. 71. 3.. 99..... 35..... 76... 81... 72. 7. 21. 45.. 81.... 2...... 42.... 77.... 80.. 70..... 38.2............ 119 confidence.. 32..... 127........... 23..... 124 drinking...... 78......... 115... 125. 101.. 42.... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ............ 78 cortisol .. 30..8 Adrian Calabrese....... 78 E&P attraction .................. 27. 66.. 95. 35.. 44... 44..... 28... 28..... 52.. 89 balance . Ph.... 117.. 97..... 10.2. 114.. 58............ 98....21 Arreed Barabasz .. 60... 35. 94 baggage.......... 113... 3. 78 EFT . 52....... 109.. 94.. 37....... 43.. Ph..... 6...24.... 84.... 78.. 96. 73 depression . 47.......... 94... 29.. 21.. 6......... 36.... 116. 90. 32....... 50. 12 Elvira Lang ..... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.... 76. 44...... 5...1........ 14... 126 adrenalin ......... 92..... 21. 105 darkest hour ... 26..... 38. 83.............. 33... 24. 6.. 78.. 26......... 31.. 79 Carol Ginandes.... 74... 31.......... 104..... 7..... 42.......... 36.. 103.1.. .58 choice2. 125 energy .. 96... 18....... 64... 35... 10.... 110 communication .. 128 anxiety 7.. 2.. 15. 119.. 119.. 59...... 106....... 47..... 36. 27. 9..5... 34. 47............ 88..................... 8............ 76 desire..... 4...... 52... 5......... 97.......... 74... 55......... 43........ 130 epilepsy . 44.... 116 Bereavement .. 78 affirmations. 121... 37........2........ 3 addiction ........ 41.7. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 78...... 44. 105.... 44. 94. 101. 55 Dawn Abraham . 32..... 80.net i .. 130 focus..... 78 chronic pain ....Index 12-step programs . 126...... 118 acute pain. 24... 58...54 association . 22. 62. 7 attraction .D......... 23........ 46.... 84.... 78 forgiveness... 25... 30... 20....... 22... 35....5. 131 dreams 22. 72..... 129 alcoholism..... 79 dream 1... 37.. 25.. 88.. 37.......... 70.... 22. 21.. 112. 102.. 6....... 123....... 5..D. 19.. 63. 30 Eric Butterworth .. 4.... 67....... 31..... 35..... 21.. 36.. 89. 76.............. 71.... 110. 27.. 78 alternative programs . 6... 8... 74.. 61.. . 114........ 47. 76..... 102. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .... 121 drug abuse.. 71. 16.. 98....... 46.. 60.... 79... 97....... 77......38....... 1.... 22..............125 anger ................ 10 binging .. 44.... 90 coronary disease. 23. 45......... 106........... 129 diet ... 38........... 97. 53......... 54. 121.. 21 David Spiegel........... 109....... 4.107 abuse 5. 106. 122 chronic anger ... 6...... 3 Alzheimer’s ..24. 75.......... 6...... 73.... 94..... 7...........86 Circle Therapy .... 114. 65.. 91... 41...... 126.. 79 cancer... 36......... 12..88 clarity 9.... 90. 21. 113 Abraham Hicks .... 95 © Copyright 2003...2..... 112 compassion ....... 48. 104..... 63...... 60.. 104....... 81.. 5......... 35. 46.. 127.
... 57.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att......... 30.. 129 heart disease. 77. 77...... 43..... 5....... 21. 76........................ 67..... 71 life force... 42.. 56... 108 Parkinson’s disease... 121 snapshot . 37. 8. 30....... 130 Judith DeLozier .............. 56........... Woods ...... 86...37....35 goal . 47......... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis............. 10........... 38. 122........ 10. 9... 78...... 53.... 44.. 117 medicine..... 54.... 87..10....5. 13... 10...........83 Law of Attraction...... 79.. 107 healing ....... 66......... 101 self-image ... 37.... 25....... 79.......... 112.. 77..... 43.. 107..... 113 prosperity .... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice........... 94 mood swings . 78... 57........... 92.. 109. 59.... 6.. 47... 38... 36 Guilt .. 118 Gary Craig ..... 39............54 Irina Wardas .. 3. 45... 58..32 hypnotherapy ........ 88.. 57 neural interconnections .... 33....5... 43..... 59. 27...... 26.. 121 relationships24........ 76. 83 Roger Callahan ............ 110... 59.. 78.. 10... 22.. 1........... 95........76 Hridaya Yoga............... 32 phobia . 44... 78... 125 immune suppression ... 15.. 36. 23..... 37. 54................... 122 Ida Kendall .. 7.......... 37...... 51..... 6... 94... 88.............36 joy . 56... 34.. 9.... 86 habits.. 42. 67. 84...... 89 phobias...... 37. 109......... 113...... 10........ 8.. 29 neuro pathways ............... 37..... 27.... 74....... 111........ 93 message units . 52........... 115...... 7.. 14. 56.... 129 resentment..... 125. 21. 22.... 37 self-esteem .....11............. 99..... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003.. 57. 101..... 57...8.. 117............................. 30....... 35........ 6... 6 Pat Dennis........... 28.. 110..1.. 120.... 28.................... 64........ 55....24 Journal of Clinical Psychology........ 50........... 77.. 93......... 101...9.. 32.. 47......32 illness 36..... 89.......... 84 panic attacks............... 19.. 79. 30 passive-aggressive ........ 78.. 43........ 46... 58......... 122 Harvard .. 21.... 89....... 15.. 13..40....83 John Kappas......... 35............net ii .. 53..2. 128 Richard Bandler .7........... 83 Robert Dilts.. 129 grief.. 5............ 29..... 16. 118.... 77. 37. 63............. 40. 4........ 56 hurt............... 79....... 78.. 89.. 54... 116..... 103. 75. 115 smoking..... 103. 102... 58.. 65..... 30.. 6. 32........... 32. 2...... 79.. 46... 60............ 118 self-talk ..... 107............. 77.. 120 relaxation ..... 87 lose weight 4. 83... 32.........10............. 125 men ...10.. 54........ 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ...... 95...... 76................ 43...... 42.7........ 53. 60. 65.. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute .. 79........... 53.. 123. 127 hypersuggestible .84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .fulfillment ..... 17 Janet Luhrs. 119 neuro-linguistic programming ... 119................... 127... 59.. 109... 21......... 35..28 John Grinder ...... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ...... 59............... 47.. 116 happiness ... 22............. 58... 87. 127. 110.... 118. 54. 115.. 47....... 57........... 49............ 29... 86................ 99.. 56..... 85..8 hypnosis ..... 78. 53............. 64........ 86............ 50.. 58.... 39.. 34. 39... 7........ 5............. 6... 94... 119..... 36. 5. 22.. 114 imagery ........12 habit .... 83 nitric oxide . 58. 58. 128................. 43..... 78. 37 powerless ........ 22...9. 69..... 105.... 6. 79. 58. 114....... 53.. 109............ 37... 87..... 67. 107.. 78 NLP....... 26. 77...3....... 77... 77.... 83 overload . 47...... 57.. 78... 77........ 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 105 Jane C.... 38.24.. 63....30 high blood pressure..... 31.. 113............. 81................ 120... 118...
. 30. 8.................... 10........... 91.......... 95............. 109 triggers ......... 115.. 124 © Copyright 2003..... 37...... 6.. 78.. 60..... 120 suicide............. 122 zeal......................... 39......... 114 weight .......... 107............... 26.. 111 victimhood ............... 30............ 7........ 59... 38......... 29.. 113.... 109. 77... 85... 59. 34.... 22...... 5.... 114 visualization.... 7. 36. 85... 95............. 44. 77........... 47..... 125......... 77.... 110 Two Futures ...... 121 value areas of life........... 45......6... 43.. 94...........Stephen Gilligan ..... 122.... 37. 65................ 48........... 109.. 84.. 56............ 79... 118. 47.83 Stephen Kosslyn .107 trigger....... 101............... 114 triggering event ....... 6........... 46........ 77.. 2................... 80............ 112.......4.....5.....44. 6.. 21....... 78....net iii ............................. 57... 120 yummy list ..... 58.53 transformation........ 5..... 106 wounds ... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att........... 78 subconscious............... 116 Women.........28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ......... 37...57 stress hormones . 34........... 79 thought habits ....... 128 subconsciously.. 75.........