An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. feelings. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. neuro pathways.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. when given the proper instructions. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. emotions and perceptions. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. As I said before. . The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you.

...32 EMOTIONS........... ANGER.............TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE...................................................................................................................... D..42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ..................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).43 GOALS ....1 ABUNDANCE ........................................................................................................................... ADDICTION... C.......................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................ COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE................... BEREAVEMENT .............46 B...........................................................................................................................37 FEAR ..............................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).............35 FABULOUS.................................................................... DIETING.................................................................................................................................................................... EMOTIONS...........................................................................18 COMMUNICATION ................................................................................... AFFIRMATIONS............3 ANGER ..................................................................46 SMART GOALS .37 FABULOUS ...26 DIETING ...7 BALANCE.... F..............3 AFFIRMATIONS........................................................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.......8 BEREAVEMENT ............8 CHANGE..........................................................................................................................8 BALANCE ............................. FORGIVENESS......... FEAR...... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS....................................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ................21 DEPRESSION..................................26 DEPRESSION .................1 ADDICTION ............... E............................................40 FOCUS .................5 ANXIETY .........15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...........................................................................................................................................34 ENERGY .. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING .............................. ENERGY .............................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .............................................................................................................................................................................................................. ................ FOCUS....... ANXIETY.......... G.

................................70 MALE DEPRESSION. PERCEPTION... M.......................78 OVERLOADED LIFE ...80 PAIN...................................................................................................................................... P..............................................54 IMAGERY.............................................59 JEALOUSY........................................................73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).............................................................................................. K....... MIND-BODY CONNECTION.............63 LAW OF ATTRACTION........................................................................................................67 LOVE.................80 PERCEPTION ...................................... PROSPERITY .............................. LUCK ......................63 KARMA ..........................................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ...................49 HEALING ..........................................72 MIND SUCCESS ...................... MIND SUCCESS .........................65 LIFE......................................................................................68 LUCK .................................................. INTUITION......................................................59 KARMA..........................84 I................. O.56 JEALOUSY ....................51 HYPNOSIS...................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).............81 PHOBIAS ................................................. J.............................................................................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION................................................................... LIFE...... KISMET ................................................................................. N...................78 PAIN.................. PHOBIAS.............................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .54 INTUITION...............................................................H........................52 IMAGERY................................... HYPNOSIS.................................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY .............. HEALING...................................... L.......................................................69 MALE DEPRESSION........... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS........77 OVERLOAD.................................................................................................................... LOVE....................................... ....................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ...49 HEART FIRE ........................63 KISMET ... Q...................

......103 VALUE AREAS..................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)........................... SELF-TALK......... BINGER ETC ...........................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ..114 YUMMY LIST ..................104 VISUALIZATION .................103 VICTIMHOOD ........................................... VICTIMHOOD............................................................................................................................... ii....86 RELEASING ....................... WOUNDS ...............................106 WEIGHT.89 SELF-CONFIDENCE............................................................................................................ DRINKER.. Y..........................108 WEIGHT .....114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT .......................... STUCK ............................................................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)................. VISUALIZATION...............................................96 STUCK ............................... iii ....86 RELATIONSHIPS ...... WORDS..........................................111 X SMOKER.................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE............................................................................116 S.....99 TIMELINE THERAPY ..................................................................................122 INDEX ..............................114 ZEAL ..................................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE............................................................................. U..... V.............................................................................................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE......................................................................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS..........................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .....117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS..... W....... EXERCISES .....................................................94 SELF-TALK............................108 WORDS..................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.......95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE...................... i....................................................... RELATIONSHIPS. Z...................................................................................................................................................................................... YUMMY LIST ............... X................................................ T............113 TWO FUTURES ........................ RELEASING.............94 STRESS ...........................R.......................................................

even worse. ALTERNATIVE 1 . fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. It is our perception of any event. incident. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. ADDICTION. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. it is filled with laughter. usually as a result of fear. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. think we are making progress or stagnating. occurrence. fear of success. fear of failure. love. Even when we know we have this tool. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. ANGER.A ABUNDANCE. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. In order to make changes. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. excitement and yes. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. money and success. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. a life that is rich and full. we don’t trust it to be real. AFFIRMATIONS. As a result. The future. Because of this. however. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. © Copyright 2003. indeed. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. Fear of change. satisfying. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Do something regularly and you develop a habit. however. at least for a 2 . who you can call when you feel you might slip. cocaine. i. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. the more vibrant and alive you become. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. at least while they are using their drug. and life just gets better and better. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. so.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. People without strong desires slowly whither away. however. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. the more connected you feel. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know.. alcohol. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. It is important though. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. Your first step. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. Unfortunately. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. no matter what program you are going through. helps them suppress the pain. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A tempo that is magnetic. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. Allow that desire to flow through you. you do have a choice.

you will forever remain an addict. I agree with this school of thought. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. When you face this pain that you have been running from. Many people. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. though. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it.passagesmalibu. A friend of mine once told me. However. the addict. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. The sooner we realize and accept that. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”.org www. The mind knows it has to be resolved and www. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. then you. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to 3 . www. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the closer to the surface this pain will rise.practicalrecovery.habitdoc. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. if it is not done. but you don’t have to.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. so.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for www.

If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. when what you really mean is. • Be specific.” Or “I will lose weight. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. not what you want to avoid.” Or say. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. the steering wheel of your car. Don’t let fear hold you back. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. So.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. If necessary. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. your computer. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. When you do 4 . then that means you are on the right track. always focus on what you want to move towards. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. Always create an image of what you want in your life. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. © Copyright 2003. that’s like moving uphill. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Always remember this. When you move towards what you want.” • State your affirmations in the positive.” the message sent to your mind. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

crying. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. looking for justice and revenge. resentment. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become 5 . and heart palpitations. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. shaking. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. When a relationship ends. If you see yourself as a victim. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. alcoholism. can lead to serious food addictions. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. you may see yourself as an avenger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. cold hands. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Holding onto anger. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. When this is the case. hostility. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. and in small doses can be a good thing. Not only is this destructive to you. then anger becomes a serious health risk. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. going from one trauma to the next. drug abuse and depression. anger is the most common response. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. In situations that cause fear. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. you may blame others for your situation or condition. hurt. So. it can be just as damaging. along with mourning. In addition. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. Even if we bury anger deep inside. eating disorders. But some people seem to be angry all the time. fatigue.

fear and hurt. coronary disease. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. In the past. and depression. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. releasing your anger. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. expressing your anger in an indirect way. Remember. Power and anger are frequently related. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur 6 . This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. alcohol and drug abuse.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. © Copyright 2003. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. bitterness. but anger that may be directed at you by others. cancer. and even increased workplace injuries. Unfortunately. it will never go away. sarcastic. and can lead to serious food addictions. and can help make you more content. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). Also. and stubborn. suicide. If you feel powerless. however. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process.

phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. flying. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. Also. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. weakness. fear or 7 . being home alone. mood swings. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. nausea. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. shakiness.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. driving a car. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. anxiety. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. etc. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. Fears. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. fear or anxiety. © Copyright 2003.). If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside.

Happiness. then it would make him happy as well. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of 8 . If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. a perfect balance. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. The problem was. There isn’t another person. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light.B BALANCE. place or thing that can make you happy. Good advice. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. I told him the usual stuff. No matter what you hear. Sometimes we need reminders. you know. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Twelve hours of day and night. No one can tell you how to be happy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. let them be a reminder to look inside. that happiness must come from within ourselves. Just think about that a moment. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. getting involved with a church. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. then he’d really truly be happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. it didn’t work. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. right? Yes and no.

uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. It will. Whether it’s an emotion. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. the right kind of suggestions. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. if we are angry. lover. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. Woods. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. stop thinking it to death. fulfillment and life find you. goal. desire. working for you. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. feeling. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. That means stop analyzing everything so much. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. job or whatever you are seeking. You are able to access your subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find 9 . No matter how hard we may try. In this state. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. But even more than that. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. to balance the light and dark within yourself. even the words we use. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. and in doing so. jane@changingpeople. they allow the subconscious to grow helping you to get yourself out of your own way. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. They allow you to clear out the old. our voice. happiness.

Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. for example. However. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. letting relevant people know. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. and generally we prefer not to think about it. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. © Copyright 10 . just a little. and so on. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. To a degree that can be true. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. you must do what is right for you. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. It is an immutable part of the human condition. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. That said.the intensity and duration may differ.

net 11 . It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. recognizing it and naming it. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. we may need to be told several times. © Copyright 2003. is a refusal to believe the news. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. when they are breaking bad news to patients. Often that is enough. and just plain wrong. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. a normal response. we may be compelled to visit the scene. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. We may need evidence. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. once the first shock waves have abated. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. or for feeling angry. This is where someone less involved can offer help. For example. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. uncaring. Some enlightened doctors know. Help them tell you their feelings. “If I do this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further.Denial A second common response. It is unrealistic but again. disconcertingly. or those suffering alongside us. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients.

The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. For example.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. how to manage our 12 . Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. was decreed. when our behaviour. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. You cannot short circuit this process. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. even perhaps depressed. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. and even our clothing. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. I have lost someone significant in my life’. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. just let it go. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. like fundraising for a particular charity. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic.

This does not mean forgetting them. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. If you need a hug. and this will of course vary from person to person. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. feeling there is no point. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. People want to help but they often don’t know how. such as excessive use of alcohol. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. So. in this phase. ask them. be it with a handshake or a hug. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which can be a comfort. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself 13 . however it feels. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. we begin to move on. you never go right back to the beginning. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. You may find. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. Experiment At some point. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. we experiment with new ways of behaving. However hard it is.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. not in any sense. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. But actually. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Let close friends offer you comfort. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. © Copyright 2003.

Literally. taking flowers to an appropriate place. be it taking some homemade food round. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. Helping In Western culture. a card sincerely written. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. I hope it has been helpful however. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say.” © Copyright 2003. Of course. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. so we need to use our discretion. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. Again. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. be it lighting candle. surrounded by people. whether for you personally. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. or an offer of help with the shopping. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Knowing this can help you plan for it. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. If you can. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. take medical advice. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. “Everything that has a beginning has an 14 . Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. as I have said. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. ritual can be helpful at this time. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy.

Some people embrace change and some resist it. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Woods. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. even depressed. Finally. jane@changingpeople. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. Just remember this. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. 15 . Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. almost no one likes it. we can get very fed and some simply telling you how to do it. some research based. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. depending on the change. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same.C CHANGE. depending on the severity of the change. Sometimes. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. some anecdotal. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.

apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. NewBeginnings 16 . you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. However. © Copyright 2003.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Worse. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. “What?” you say. You are feeling bright and chirpy. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. Finding they are. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. A Story Here is a short story about change. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. It may ring a bell with you. You are speechless at first. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like.

For example.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. Use two different colours if you like. and. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. or determined to make more effort. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. Underneath is your feelings or emotions 17 . joy of joys. For example. So. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003.But then. yes. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. That is a fact to record on the top line. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. angry. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. don’t just focus on the negatives. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. did it make you sad. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier.. vulnerable. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. no one but you is going to see this. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen.

As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. Similarly with our responses to change. Then. as the dawn progresses. But as the sun rises. overloaded message units and repressed fears. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. Obviously. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. Actually. another to frown and feel aggrieved. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. Sometimes.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. However. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. Dawns. our responses to change are individual and personal. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. For example. no one makes us feel anything. while another may be much more fatalistic. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel 18 . If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. and therefore our feelings. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. They begin almost imperceptibly. however. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. At first. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. © Copyright 2003. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. One may approach it in a positive way. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. The same principle applies to you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. are funny things. our thoughts.

Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. you are in essence training your mind. detailed imprint of what you desire. given enough time and repetition. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. need or want. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating.anxiety and emotions. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. inept. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. see the right path. Ultimately. For example. but will actually consider them an order. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. relaxation. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. © Copyright 2003. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the 19 . It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. you do not need to feel this way. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. remember “dawn” can and will happen. even our physical health and well being. Be absolutely clear about what you want. Unfortunately. clumsy. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. When this happens. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. confused or fearful. you start to believe it yourself. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. apprehension and fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. confidence. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. Giving you the feeling of freedom. If you are starting to feel anxious. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. however. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious.

Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. It’s the life in your years. yoga. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. Guide them. all of your life. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. you are actually living the life you want. with clarity. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. want and desire. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. confidence and trust. it is a journey. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. in addition. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Know that no matter what things might look like. realizing all the possibilities available to you.achieving prosperity. It does make a difference. As Abraham Lincoln once said. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. abundance.” So live your life fully. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. mold them and do it over and over again. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Trust that the Universe 20 . so. you always have a choice. you need to be aware. then the real fun can start. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. If you want a New Beginning.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. You will feel stronger. does and will continue to offer you what you need. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control.

Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your 21 .knowing. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. I truly believe that faith. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. The problem is that we communicate differently. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. engage and listen. look and listen. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. courage. It is important not to go looking for your sign. © Copyright 2003. yellow balloon. dolphins . After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. our answers are all around us. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting.

Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. however. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It is the physical who yells. opposites really do attract. In relationships. the way we communicate with each other. if you ask a physical if they are cold.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. and how natural and normal this is. These two types. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. it isn’t. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. among other things. enjoys spur of the moment activities. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. they will answer yes or no. © Copyright 2003. but E&P affects. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. how they can come apart. Communication. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. people don’t realize just how true this is. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. possibly even throws things when angry. First. is so much more than simple questions. So. whatever when upset. cries. An example would be. 22 .

Also. the more the physical pushes. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. self-confidence. You had to be strong. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. however is just one part of communication. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. It becomes a vicious circle. Conversely. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. © Copyright 2003. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time.The same thing occurs when communicating. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Since we tend to project our thoughts. This E&P communication. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Words have power. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. you can see how this could be problematic. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. We heal from physical injuries. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. they can ruin lives. Remember 23 .

Make some calls. find out what you can do. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. beautiful heart and so much love to give. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. dreams and desires. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. someone will answer. But you are wrong. wider and stronger each and every day. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Also. © Copyright 2003. As a matter of fact. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. throughout your life entire life. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. by working it. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. but not only that. The same holds true for what you hear. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. call out for help. Think and dream about your future. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. each of us. leave. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. The woman who has come out of a nasty. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. your talent. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. This is why “words” do have so much power. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. bad relationship and can keep on going. You know because I say it over and over 24 . Your life depends on it After all. intelligence and compassion. is powerful beyond belief. But most of all. this planet needs you. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. keep your thoughts strong. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way.

© Copyright 2003.Each of us. our child. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. NewBeginnings 25 . husband. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. wife. scream and yell and swear all you want. And that’s really what venting to another person is. words can hurt you. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. Vent when you are alone. But when you are with someone you care about. Once said they are out there forever. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. words can destroy you.

pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. if we want to. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. According to Dr. © Copyright 2003. however.D DEPRESSION. Miller goes on to stress. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . sleep problems and/or exhaustion. and just like any other habit. Mood is affected by dozens of is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. As research continues in this is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. suicidal feelings.even into very advanced old age. but in essence they are just like any other habit.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. depression. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. Jill Ammon-Wexler. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming is created. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. No one is born with such a brain -. AND -. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. According to Dr. In fact. In addition. if this work fulfills its potential. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. thought patterns and thought habits. Researchers like 26 . researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. conditions and illnesses. Dr. DIETING.

Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. What we think. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. though.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. I don’t want to be around negative 27 . images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. © Copyright 2003. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. What it does understand. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. Think about that a moment. I just want to be happy. healthy muscles.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. what we say to ourselves. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. even more importantly. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. etc. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. “unhappy”.use it or lose it.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. “disappointed in my relationships”. fulfilled life.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. Take responsibility for your thoughts.” observes Dr. subconscious level.D. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Fixing one problem can often help the other. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. whether it is physical or emotional. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. 2005. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. Ph. When there is negative thinking. 100 times more. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.. with the aid of hypnosis. is originating on a deeper. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. epilepsy. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. 28 . The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. So. Pay attention to what you are thinking. including cancer. reflect on the contrary. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. Reflect on the positive. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. Bruce Cohen. heart disease. Parkinson’s disease. Woman’s World. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. October 18. on a subconscious level. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. it will continue to go on.

and these are serious issues indeed. we are really only getting part of the story. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. When most of us think about diet and 29 . Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. Confusing. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. it seems as if all the doctors.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And throughout all of it. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). © Copyright 2003. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. and of course. First we were told that fat. particularly among our young people. diet and weight. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. especially our young women. according to the New York Times. Chocolate was bad for you. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. then we were told maybe it isn’t. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. we just don’t want to do it. especially in the United States. The truth is. is bad for you. any kind of fat. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). never a comparison with all the other studies. the second diet was only three meals a day. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. test or theory. but in addition. now again we are hearing. sometimes to death. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. Part of one study. people. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. The first diet included six small meals a day. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats.

With the internet available to all of us. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. and getting the right kind of support and advice. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than 30 . Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. both emotional and physical. Just as with any weight. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. As we live our lives. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. by taking control of our thoughts. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. a lack of fulfillment. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. In fact. confidence or happiness. Knowledge is indeed power. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. it can include abandonment issues. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. satisfaction. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. Releasing negative thoughts. © Copyright 2003. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. weight issues are rarely just about weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. one of the first things I tell them is. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle.

So wonderful. observe how you feel. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. what does your world look like.Knowledge. This 31 . though is not just about external fact. in fact. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. i. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. You can continue the work on your own. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original Look at yourself. what do you see. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. I keep going back to this one phrase. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. that we keep going back to it. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. If you don’t like it. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. though just an illusion. fear. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. take control of your thoughts and change your life.e. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. what do you think about. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. © Copyright 2003. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside.

ENERGY. posttraumatic stress disorder. a negative experience itself. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. addictions and phobias. As I’ve written before. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depression. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of 32 . EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. Not a hypothetical path. has no value of its own. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. fear. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. anger. anxiety. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. any negative experience. general stress. EMOTIONS. including depression. © Copyright 2003. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions.

If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. With or without hypnosis. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. and more importantly. Remember. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. As stated earlier. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. © Copyright 2003. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. war trauma or severe physical illness. to addiction. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. EFT can help with both the cravings. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. understanding the negative experience is not enough. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. deprivation. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. weight loss to pain and illness. the root causes such as feelings of 33 . With regard to addictions. do not use self-hypnosis. In addition. emptiness and anxiety. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant.

accidents and increased workplace injuries. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. hurt. even more importantly. For example. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. It can even be linked to suicide. Likewise. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. One such study by Dr. hurt and unforgiveness. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. Ryke Geerd Hamer. meditation. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. By forgiving. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. resentment. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress 34 . but our physical health as well.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. hostility.

keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. Throughout this book you will find theories. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. vaccines. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot 35 . that we are out of balance. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. whole grains. it prevents depression. In most cases of cancer. white flour. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. etc. such as genetics. but it is not.specifically. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. exposure to toxic substances. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. seems somewhat contradictory. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. diet. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. pathogens. In addition to nurturing your mind. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. etc).

Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. or an inability to let go and just relax. stress. Hypnosis can help you. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. While listening to your hypnotherapist.who have the ability to relax more 36 . visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. © Copyright 2003. but balance will return. imagery. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. your mind and body relax more and more deeply.

Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Increase your intake of fish. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. FEAR. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. Fiber. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. Drink more water. until the food becomes liquid. safflower and vegetable oils. turmeric. try counting the chews in each bite. FOCUS. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. soy. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. © Copyright 2003. whole grains. 2. garlic liberally. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Fruits and vegetables and spices. Chew properly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which as we know reduce inflammation. Their phytonutrients . The indigestible parts of fruits. Healthy fats. nuts. aiming for 30 to 50 times. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite.F FABULOUS. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly.carotenoids in carrots. primary by reducing the inflammation. Eat the right 37 . It helps if you put your fork down between bites.

The solution: Sweat. Regular exercise should make you sweat.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. Eat homemade food. As a matter of fact.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. but so will saunas and hot baths. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. our organs. Losing weight gradually . chemicals from manufacturing. chew.) If under pressure at meals. 38 . 6. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. Detox is a relative term. 4. our skin. our hair. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. our tissues. which creates less gas. Our blood is what creates our cells. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). Breathe. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. But breathing is also effective. 3. take deep breaths. Any form of exercise helps. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. Pesticides. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Sweat – cleans up your system. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. 5.

fried foods. © Copyright 2003. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes.consists of slow. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Have sex. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Tai chi -moving meditation . Have a home-made facial. bread. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Laugh. 9. fats. hydrogenated fats. 10. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. We have to learn how to prioritize our health.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. and improve overall health.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. diary products. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. I call it facial meditation. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. 8. 7. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. focused. you sure can laugh at one. meats. etc. boost mood. Take the laughter yoga class. refined flours. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. our relationships. relaxes your body. grains. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. drugs) to the least (fruits and is delicious. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . Even if you can’t tell a joke. our 39 . Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. improving your healthy well-being.

We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. though.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. one thing seems to come up most frequently.naturalcounselor. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. That one thing is FEAR. what we expect. a short 40 . they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. FEAR: fear of change. it keeps us from making a big mistake. healthy and joyous life you want. or even worse. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. fear of failure. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. fear of success. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. insomnia or lack of energy. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. that one thing. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. mood swings. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while.

the more vibrant and alive we become. Something that is important to you right now. When you have specific. get out your list and read it again. afraid of disappointment. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. But. we were told to leave those dreams behind. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. write down your goals and if you did write them down. relationships. If you haven’t done so already. in order to be an adult. 2. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). the more connected we feel. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. People without strong desires slowly whither away. © Copyright 2003. as we grew older. pretend and let our imaginations soar. and grow up. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. Be honest. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. This is wrong. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. the world of adults. instead. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. for the most 41 . have a reasonably happy life. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. We were told to grow up.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and life just gets better and better. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. career and health because you are afraid of failing. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. Your goals must be your very own. friends and lovers live this kind of life. As children we were free to play. we are afraid to dream. we have chosen.

breathing things. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just 42 . or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. push yourself to ask for help now. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. Sometimes. it’s hard to focus. If you have not asked for support much in the past. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. if your goal is to run a marathon. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. crying and so on. Focus. even though we would gladly give it if asked. Use them. FOCUS Look around you. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. laughing. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. Remember the Power of Affirmations. 4. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. When you say your affirmations out loud. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. You know. life coach or whomever and ask for support.3. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. parent. 5. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. As an example. doing something together. though. a powerful tool. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction.

you are bombarded with millions of message units. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. negative or neutral to our mental. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. interpersonal and relationship problems. forgive and accept forgiveness. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. touch. success and fulfillment. The subconscious processes everything. whether asleep or awake.taste. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. though. and its effects may be positive. psychological imbalances. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. confront the situation as needed. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. that release. though. resentment or anger. it still exists in our subconscious. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. smell and hearing. During the course of a day. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. Over time. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. Luckily. health. © Copyright 2003. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. When we go through periods of stress. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. 43 . even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. This is commonly referred to as memory. physical and emotional well-being.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. It disables your emotional resources. our subconscious is able to do this for us. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. affirmative statements. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. recorded on brain and body cells.

They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. tears. laughter and perspiration. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. anger. 4. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include 44 . the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. This not only applies to a current. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. 5. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 3. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. fear and anxiety. 2. existing situation. 6. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Even when we sleep long hours. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. During the Releasing session. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. Once learned. They are also © Copyright 2003.

she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. once learned. as a Soul.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. and your body and life are the 45 . disappointment. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). “I release (relevant emotions. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. sadness. function as a computer operator. have learned. © Copyright 2003.” 7. the brain is your biological computer. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. As people from all backgrounds. etc. such as anger. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. 8. can be done alone. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. including health care professionals and clergy. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.). the Releaser is asked to state. and feeling great.

A really simple way to test this theory is this. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. whether it is an emotion. something that is crucial to goal setting. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. if you think about a color. “I don’t know what I want. Not only in your own relationships. We find ourselves drifting along. Each of us is already whole. After you’ve done this. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. an activity or a thing. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. take the color blue for example. Think of it as a game. You choose what you want in your life. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. A state of being is not an emotion.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Conversely. This same principle works the same way for emotions. Sometimes. not only does life get depressing. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. I don’t know about you. thoughts and ideas. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a diversion to keep life interesting. meaningful and exciting. though. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a 46 . If you think about anger. fun. your current life situation. not really happy. Without goals. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world.

You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. sometime weekly. doesn’t mean I can have him. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. If you do this regularly. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes 47 . Adjustments are a good thing. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. keeps us feeling alive. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. it just means you make an adjustment. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. He’s got free will just as we all do. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. Don’t forget about free will. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. change is the whole point. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. it would be a boring and scary world. simple Measurable. responsible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they will never be overwhelming. © Copyright 2003. But you can’t manifest everything you want.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. not if you want to improve your life.

Remember. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto 48 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. set those goals. So. © Copyright 2003. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.

D. and help strengthen the immune system.. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. turning some functions on and others off. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. releasing negative thoughts. visualization and positive suggestions. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. relieve depression and so much more. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. imagery. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. speed up healing after surgery.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. Ph.H HEALING. lower blood pressure. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. by using specific. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. © Copyright 2003. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. In a pilot study published in 1999. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).net 49 . Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. Working from the inside out. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It can help relieve pain. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. As David Spiegel.

” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. that’s because it is. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. anxiety and the need for painkillers. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . soothing kind of treatment. in terms of levels of pain. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. © Copyright 2003.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. During the operation. The suggestions. Every 15 50 . It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. though. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. empathic care provider and hypnosis. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. Arreed Barabasz. and the third received standard care.

And this list goes on and on. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. If you think you are seeing color. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. the hypnotized patients used less medication. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. experienced less pain. While in the trance. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. you actually see it. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. which could account for heightened attention. On average. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. Spiegel and Lang found. Once again.” says Marc Schoen. psychologists say. then the real fun can start.” says Spiegel. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. In effect. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other 51 . A journey that you can now control. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. realizing all the possibilities available to you. the brain’s manager and planner. While it is particularly effective in removing anger.” Using imaging technology. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. “It’s not just a fantasy. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. involving more than 330 patients. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years.

It is another powerful tool you can add to your 52 . stress. © Copyright 2003. Each incident throughout the day affects us. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. All life starts as a spark. My purpose is to help them remember. tension and minor frustrations.jealously. though. Problems that we encounter every single day. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). sometimes major life altering situations and problems. Try it once and feel the results. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. With a bit of practice. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. hurt. unpleasant. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. resentment. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. We have to cope with irritating. we each have to deal with something. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. hurt. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. Some little problem or some big problem. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. you can do this exercise while awake. When I say fuel. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. rude or just plain nasty people. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. fear. this spark can grow a little dim. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. Sometimes. As we each move through life. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger.

© Copyright 2003. more positive thoughts. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. a professor of psychology at Harvard. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. but the results will amaze and delight you.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. feel or react. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Using hypnosis. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. and much better about yourself. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. you create a vivid. As a result. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. however. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. anything at all about yourself. relaxed. not only will you feel better immediately. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. The more visual and real you make your goal. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. Try hypnosis. If there is anything in your world. Some pleasant. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. you will feel refreshed. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. euphoria and control of your life 53 . it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. comfort. clarity. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. According to Stephen Kosslyn. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. every message unit.

Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure.I IMAGERY. fixing a problem in one place. As stated in Woman’s World. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. can often help the other. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. www. feel more loved. depressed © Copyright 2003. boost your mood. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. September 26. what we say to ourselves. failure or success. build self-confidence.” What we think. What we experience as feelings. Conversely. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. mend your ways. good or bad. However. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. fear or confidence. More and more doctors as well as patients. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. once wrote. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. 54 . are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. Never. Your ability to overcome obstacles. 2006.” Cheryl O’Neil. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were Cheryl is talking about imagery. heal your body. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. Simply put. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. create passionate relationships. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how determined by the thoughts you think. and change your life .cheryloneil. The brain is simply another organ in your body. who I especially admire. etc. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life..

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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Law of Attraction. “What we think about we bring about. The fourth part is training your mind. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. Self Esteem. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. use a deck of cards. NewBeginnings © Copyright 2003. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. 98% of the time I am right.qualifiedlifecoach. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. Meditation. Abundance. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. You rise above thinking in mediation. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Another way I practice is with elevators. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. Reiki. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to You know that saying. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Private & Group 58 . Go with your first impression you get from each card. Motivation.

J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. You want revenge. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. projections. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. If you can cool down. enjoy their life. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. and grow. in control of yourself and your partner. You are angry. You want to stop what you are feeling. envy. You feel violated. That’s the truth of love. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. delusions. Often. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. and if so. You want to see them become more of who they are. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that 59 . To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. you may go into a rage. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. It is essential to communicate clearly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. no matter what that entails. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. succeed.

This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. Jealousy is like an onion. © Copyright 2003. not within the relationship. If you can do this. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. You can give yourself the gift. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. If you move inward and look at yourself. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If your relationship is based on Attachment. the jealousy resides within you. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. you cannot make a person love 60 . Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. It does not.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. you cannot. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture.

you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. Projection. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. This insight. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. guilt or 61 . This is natural and normal. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. You do not own it. there is nothing to feel guilty about. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. Look at the reality.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. we find envy. Look at your beliefs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. envy. Another layer can be guilt. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. The truth is that for most of us. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. It is their own. you can reach self-awareness. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Another layer is projection. We think that we should be able to rise above it. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. really look and analyze them. Going down to an even deeper layer. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. These all grow out of expectation. the truth behind what you are feeling. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. This is projecting. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair.

With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. If you love someone. look deep within yourself at these feelings. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. When you attempt to possess another person. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. © Copyright 2003. then what you are experiencing is not love. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Perhaps you fear 62 . they still don’t meet your expectations. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. If you find yourself doing this. Fear of loss. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. Once you release the anger. By looking deep within. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. Hypnosis can help. let that guide you. You become vulnerable. Surrender to it. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. fear of not being worthy of love. Open your heart and mind to it. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. frequently they are not real. our childhood. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. and let that be who you are. the resentment and the hurt. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. If you are experiencing jealously. but attachment. fear of being alone. you become yourself possessed. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. You do not need to experience jealously. you can watch that love radiate out for all. They come from our past. When you love. You can choose to move away from those feelings. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood.

The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. present and future and because of this. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu.K KARMA. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. Jain. all of which determine our future. Just a thought. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. or alternatively. There is no judgment involved. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but generally the concept is basically the same. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. if you 63 . Most people © Copyright 2003. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events.

which is a huge component of the human psyche. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. saint or seer. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination.associate Destiny with fate.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. participate and change the direction you are heading. If you are not satisfied with your life. fate and destiny are not the same. As stated above. © Copyright 2003. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. prophet. In the Shang dynasty in China. Step in. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. but fate makes no allowance for free will. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate implies no choice. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your 64 . In the belief systems of many cultures. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here.

If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. “What you think about will happen in your life. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one.00 a year income. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. For example. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. LOVE. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. “Let the chips fall where they may”. The concept of the law of attraction is. © Copyright 2003. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. start by writing it down. What ever it is. is a good analogy. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them.” It’s about where you put your focus. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page.000. that can help you with exactly 65 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. The old saying. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. LIFE. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract.

your job is to notice it and then do something about it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. You asked for what you 66 . pay attention to what happens next. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. now grab it. pay attention. I promise you it will show up. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. allowing it to happen is vital. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. you then attracted it. don’t panic. Now that you have set this up. talk to those people. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. You have made it clear. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. etc. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Now the key here is to follow up with this. There is something there to be learned or gained.

whatever that may entail because that’s your life.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. Individual LIFE These thoughts are from my friend a different package. that is the Universe telling you go…. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. Go to my web site for more information. a very wise woman. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. It is never wasted and it is never lost. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. Group Coaching. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. who has no idea that she is. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. maybe © Copyright 2003.” And I realized as she told me this. life is messy. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. The sooner we realize and accept that. you used them to learn about yourself. tele-classes and resources are offered. Not only that. So live your life.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. originally thought of. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. she said “You didn’t waste those years. You She told him something I want to share with all of 67 . We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. www.

t. some which I like and others not so much. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. A noun. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. you are perfect. Definition: To pity. often including a desire to help. partnered. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. com·pas·sion. I was reminded recently. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” When we talk about compassion. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. healing. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. never have. married or 68 . all kinds of love. compassion and faith. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. [Obs. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. living this life to experience love. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. v.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. dating. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. but yes. I know. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. Compassion (Com-pas’sion). then. romance.] Shak. trust . First. I’m not sure why exactly. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. sex.

lazy or self-indulgent.K. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. and. measurable phenomenon. My only question to your would be this. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Give yourself a break. those we live with. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. Luck is a real. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. as well. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. in the process. that negative voice in your head. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. then someone else. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. work with or just come into contact with. someone around you. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. with all their faults. heal others and yourself. then maybe. nobody can make it for you. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. one that you can get behind. can start to love themselves as well. Instead of listening to that old record. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our 69 . People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness.Another thing that is so important to remember.

“Depression may look like a single disease. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. During the past 50 years. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. certainly not for a real man. and so do the ideal treatments.D. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. but the underlying causes vary. As Dr. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. This can make treatment especially difficult.. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones.M MALE DEPRESSION. Depression can manifest in many different forms. In addition.” Michael Craig Miller. And yet. the macho male figure and that depression is for the 70 . It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. M. In the past. sex. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. the depression and the cause of that depression. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. or even make the depression worse. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. (Harvard Medical School). the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. 2007 article. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug.e. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. with all these statistics facing us. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. February 26. MIND-BODY CONNECTION.

Woman’s World. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. As I quote above. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. hurt. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. As Dr. This is not easy. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. without help.. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. fear or anger that you are experiencing. difficult and painful process. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. With the aid of hypnotherapy. helping you regain strong mental-health. the healing process. Sometimes. smooth and without bumps or potholes. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. Ph. Edward M. however. guilt and depression. When this occurs. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. without wanting or meaning to. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. When you recognize that this is occurring. During the course of this journey and these detours. you take back control of your own life.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. 2005. fear. Using © Copyright 2003. There are detours that we must take. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. love and happiness beyond measure. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. Hallowell. Working from the inside out. October 18. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. When you release the hurt. bitterness. resentment. Trying to accomplish this by 71 .

000 brain scans. drug abuse and depression.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. eating disorders. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. hostility. This has been proven by Dr.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic 72 . a German physician. including diet. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Ryke Geerd Hamer. hurt. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. resentment. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. pathogens. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. Dr. can lead to serious food addictions. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. but our physical body as well. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. In addition. meditation. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. With the help of 20. Holding onto anger. alcoholism.

Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. white flour. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible.D. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. keeping track of what is working and what is not. anger is what you will bring into your life. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Success is largely an inner game. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. This is a way of thinking. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. etc. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. whole grains. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Ph. but to your thoughts as well. I have been there and there is a way out. Take control of your own thoughts and actions.exposure to toxic substances. use it and use it frequently. It requires that you develop a success mind. and © Copyright 2003. Meditation works. vaccines. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. guide them in a positive direction. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. thought or image. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. Believe me. and this applies to any negative emotion. Success is a process of continually learning new information. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. yoga can help. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). if you focus on anger. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible 73 . etc). In addition to nurturing your mind.

and create new realities. You will have to change to be successful. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. generate new ideas. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. Develop a process to examine your fears. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. conditioning. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Yet. and failure. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. © Copyright 2003. The success mind trains itself to ask. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. fear of hard work. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. and keep moving forward. fear of what other people will think. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. hardship. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. Take time to dream. Gather new information. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. the less we fear 74 . Fear of change. inventor. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. but also change the world. Take action. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. or successful businessperson. learn from your mistakes. While success requires action. make adjustments along the way. if you talk to any star athlete. you simply need to start. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. see unlimited possibilities. foster creativity. This is one of the laws of success. fear of failure. fear that we are not good enough. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. possibility is in the dreaming. exploring one more option or opportunity.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends.

A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. your world and your success. The time to begin is now. challenge. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. Remember. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. form opinions. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. think. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. try on new perspectives. your feelings. you likely will feel fear. As you do this. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Question. adventure. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. your actions. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. experience. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities.Believe in yourself and in your 75 . and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. Mental toughness. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. and success. create. and grow. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. When you say yes. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. It is never too late to develop your success mind. But once you say no to an opportunity. Your thoughts. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. You continue to grow. Not simply because you say yes.

is President of Best Life Design. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. and smart action. Visit her at or www. performance coach. J.bestlifedesign. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Dream big and take consistent. redirect the effort. make corrections. better. and healthier lives.molliemarti. Inc. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible.success and rewards your effort. directed. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.D. Stop caring what other people think. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life.D.. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live 76 . for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. mediator. happier. engage again and refuse to quit.. Mollie Marti. Ph.

A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. NLP claims to draw from aspects of 77 . reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. © Copyright 2003. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. sales. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. management training. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. however. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). Unfortunately. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. John Grinder. However. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. and interpersonal influence. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. There is. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. sports. Robert Dilts. linguistics and computer science.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. activity. remember that red not only represents life force. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. occurrence.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. Use it for minor headaches. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. Also. Whether it makes us happy or sad. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) 81 . fire. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. health healing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. © Copyright 2003. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. You have the power to change your perception. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. use Yellow) money. growth. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. red would probably not be the best color to use. think we are making progress or stagnating.

Once you have faced your phobia. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. Relief is truly immediate. By the time your therapist is done. Sometimes. but it is not a gift at all. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. If you are suffering from a phobia. control it and use it wisely. there will be no emotional response. There are a variety of techniques that can be used.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. this power. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. © Copyright 2003. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. It can be done in person and over the phone. Depending on the phobia. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. But the results tend to be permanent. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. this is how it works. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. Perception is a powerful thing. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. though. it can make your life almost unbearable. Basically. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are then taken back to the phobia again. After you are put into a hypnotic state. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. Take control. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. the feelings of panic and anxiety 82 .

NewBeginnings 83 . © Copyright 2003. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. happiness. In order to accomplish this. Fear of change. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. and not just money or things. even fear of success.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. fun. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. you will enjoy them immensely. joyful and full life filled with love. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. money as well. prosperity includes a rich. thinking and dreaming. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Marti. it may be necessary to make some changes. fulfillment and yes. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Mollie W. however. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. Frequently they are a result of fear. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. fear of failure. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. and not just a lack of money or things. both written by Dr. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer.

and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. In the dream it all seems very real. Superstring Theory. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. and hear it. utterly real. and tangible. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We can see it. EPR Paradox. standing as a physical world. because what was a 84 . solid. they are all phenomena within the mind. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. around us. Schroedinger’s Cat. as I started to research this a bit. touch. external universe. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. However real and external these images may seem. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Unified Field Theory. space. the Copenhagen Interpretation. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. hear. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). They exist within consciousness. © Copyright 2003. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. instead. independent and apart from us. Time. separate from us. Theory of Everything. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. M-Theory. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. touch it. smell.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. Grand Unified Theory. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. in addition. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Supersymmetry. Loop Quantum Gravity. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. in about three or four paragraphs! So. taste. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Quantum Gravity. String Theory. It appears undeniably to be out there. not the other way around. however. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics.

net 85 . and there’s only one real way to do that. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Cool. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.So. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. huh? So. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality.

it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. if you are not. possibly even throws things when 86 . It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. It is the physical who yells. RELEASING. © Copyright 2003. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. However. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. These two distinct types. our behavior patterns. First. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. congratulations. how they can come apart. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. In addition.R RELATIONSHIPS. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. Unfortunately. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. cries or screams when upset. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. read on. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do.

self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. When I say E&P attraction. With the physical female. She on the other hand. then hobbies. But let’s look into the future several months. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. She is happy. After all. he cannot understand why. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. is quite a bit different. And that’s a good thing. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. I really do mean attraction.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. longer hours at the office. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. And boy do they do relate. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. what the priorities of each are. Next would be their children. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. the relationship is of primary importance to 87 . outgoing. When they first meet. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. The emotional. Let’s cover very briefly. For the physical. Their first priority is their career. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. on the other hand. So he starts spending more time at work. secure and © Copyright 2003. To her partner it is his career. When his partner complains that they never see each other. In relationships. his career. This is natural.

communication is key to any successful relationship. When we are healthy and balanced. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. Release anger. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. sadness. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. The process is quick. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. Interestingly enough. though. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. © Copyright 2003. With communication you can understand each other. to get clear on your goals for the future. Sometimes. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. When you understand how the other thinks. fear and guilt. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Plenty. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of 88 . understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. This is done through imagery and suggestion. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. releasing occurs naturally. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. What can be done about this. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Remember.

fears. Negative expectations. Both techniques are effective. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. use your downloadable sessions first. anger. positive thoughts. hurt. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. If your subconscious is ready. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. doubts. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. unpredictability and lack of control. and emotional states.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind.D. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. body and 89 . They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That may been all you need at this time. process and recall information. Ph. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. physical. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life.

you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. You spend mental. taking in a deep breathe. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. “It’s gray and cloudy. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. make a choice to expect positive results. Think and say. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. each and every day. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. These types of performance routines consist of ten 90 . So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. Many rituals are quite simple. build in ways to recoup your energy. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. boring day. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. You give energy away to other people. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. reading a book. in and of © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. Rest is any activity. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. over the telephone. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. As you spend energy during the day. Rather. to your computer. and in countless other interactions. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. It’s going to be a gloomy.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. As you add them to your day. For example. You wake up and your first thought might be. you are ready for it.

Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. When you carry negative emotions like fear. frustration. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. You’ve © Copyright 2003. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. After a 90-minute presentation. nervousness. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. For example. anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to 91 . and discarding the emotion. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. guilt. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. you are less able to concentrate on your task. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you.itself. after working at your computer for an hour. linking it with a unique physical action. Influence Management: Before any performance. and anxiety. fatigue. rhythmic breathing. which is pleasurable and restorative. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend.

It immediately precedes the performance and says. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go.simply applied a band-aid. I image a red line on the floor. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. or a clock on the wall. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. If you are in your office or in a conference room. © Copyright 2003. Yet. it also had drifted off. Before you perform. As I cross the line. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. consciously look at your focal point. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. If you travel. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. but when it came time to start. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. works well. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. As you travel or perform in different locations. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. you might choose a banner. . it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Any time you get distracted. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. a piece of art. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. such as a doorframe. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. . When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . can be viewed as a distraction. body and emotions that it is time to perform. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. This leads to a less than stellar performance. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at 92 . One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. back to my task. For example. A tangible engagement cue. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. She chose a cloud as her focal point. I “turn on” my full engagement. prior to a presentation or meeting. even if it is a good thing. “OK. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. try to use the same type of focal point.

and success. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. and healthier lives.. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines.molliemarti. mediator. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. Inc. Ph. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep.. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. concentration. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. is President of Best Life Design. including caffeine and adrenaline. A close companion is the use of stimulants. better. It will throw you off. successful entrepreneur. 93 .bestlifedesign. alcohol. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. This means that if you get away from your or www. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. they will provide great consistency.D. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. performance coach. it won’t feel right. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. lawyer. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. Visit her at www. As part of this process. for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.D. Mollie Marti. If you cannot identify your rituals.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


to be one of the first things that goes. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. bananas. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. fish. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. exhaustion. oats. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. such as hormonal imbalances. apricots. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. worry. salmon. Vitamin B6. impatience. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. chronic fatigue. blood sugar fluctuations. Almonds. prunes. kale. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. You need eat more avocados. leafy vegetables. Calcium. depression. Vitamin B12. © Copyright 2003. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Calcium rich foods are almonds. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. broccoli. garlic. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and 97 . Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. asparagus. etc. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. irritability. cabbage. brown rice. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. causing irritability and nervousness. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Unfortunately. mustard greens. seafood. moodiness and nervousness. depression. fear. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. kelp. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. apples. irritability. sesame seeds. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol.

our cortisol levels drop. to work away your tension. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. mood swings. you must relax. Squeeze a squishy ball. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. Kiss. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. tuna and whole grains. insomnia or lack of energy. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. barley.Folic acid. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Start squeezing something. Sing.naturalcounselor. Bottom line © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. nobody will. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. carrots and turnips). A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. such as a squishy ball. oranges. a founder of NaturalCounselor. Call a friend. lentils. In addition. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. mushrooms. who will take care of our children. brown rice. dates. root vegetables (such as potatoes. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your 98 . though. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. our family? So let us be stress smart. salmon. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. green leafy vegetables. oatmeal. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. legumes. I know mine always have been). but if something happens to us. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. Walk. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does.

If you wake up today affirming an illness. Energy is constantly in motion. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. I know I have. If you wake up today focusing on debt. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next 99 . because you cannot stand still.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. If you understand that. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. I used to feel that way often. if you are having a problem with money. According to the laws of physics. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. but to the energy of the present moment. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. For example. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. a feeling. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together.

” Ginandes says. really. You don’t have to create change. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. for most people. for example. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. can influence the body to heal itself. © Copyright 2003. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes.” So. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Patients who suffer from panic attacks.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. it doesn’t matter why it works. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. the truth is. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the 100 . meanwhile. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. our results suggest. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. And. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have.D. In a follow-up experiment published last year. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. In a pilot study published in 1999. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. You need to make room for change. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out.. Ph. Pain sufferers. Ph. During the sessions. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. and elastic. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. smooth. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better.D. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. Hypnosis. It is only important that it does. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing.

look down on the Time Line. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. Take responsibility for your life and direction. 101 . the more you focus on old negative thoughts. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. Take your time with this. Remember.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. When you have determined the directions of past and future. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. it is what feels best for you. for you happiness and your abundance. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. your love and your joy. If it’s behind you. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. © Copyright 2003. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. There is no correct answers. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. to the left or to the right.

Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and 102 . It might not have looked that way to others. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). I’d like you to consider another alternative. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. © Copyright 2003. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. You procrastinated. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. It can look that way to others. Sometimes what you need. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. you stuck by the wrong person. You need them to tell you to be strong. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. bad things just happen. you made a mistake. Without getting specific about each of them. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. even if they cannot give it back.

but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. 85. etc. another may practice Hinduism. © Copyright 2003. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. Picture yourself at age 80. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. VICTIMHOOD. whatever feels right. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. Spirituality. while another may be a Wiccan. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. For example. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 90. First. you need to define what it is you 103 .

Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. then your perception makes it right. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. What you might think is wrong. What areas cause you regret. friends. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. Figure it out early. are you really meant to be together. © Copyright 2003. What value areas of your life are you happy with. or even the perceptions of our family. If it is what you believe.Now think back over your life. but not only that. You might get angry. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. Think about all the value areas of your life. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Remember. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. you will certainly feel violated. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. mugged or even raped. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that 104 . In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. is you. Something very unpleasant. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. Perhaps you are abused. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. However. then you’ve got a problem. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. church and society. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault.

my mother didn’t understand me. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. etc. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun.. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. Life. my mother didn’t give me enough love. my wife doesn’t understand me.S. It wasn’t fun. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances.I want you to consider something. A rather sad. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. it means you are not responsible for anything. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. my friends don’t understand me. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. And. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. my kids don’t show me any respect. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood.” But. for what you do and what you say. and society actually encourages this thought. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. etc. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. But now. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. But just take a moment now and really think about it. my husband ignores 105 . however. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. Here in the U.. happiness and joy available to each of us. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. etc. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim.

build self-confidence. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. Fixing a problem in one place though. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. The woman who has come out of a nasty. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. feel more loved. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. is powerful beyond belief. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. we lose 106 . each of us.who you are. 2006. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. As stated in Woman’s World. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. etc. never © Copyright 2003. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. Remember. For example. bad relationship and can keep on going. You had to be strong. please. it is the ability to enjoy life. beautiful heart and so much love to give. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. September 26. If we take back control. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. etc. If that is taken away from us . Simply. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. boost your mood. eventually. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. can often help the other. 107 . what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. depressed or negative. Use the power of your mind. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. Is essence. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. your imagination. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. increase your self-confidence. can change how your feel.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. relieve pain. © Copyright 2003. If you are feeling down. 108 . it’s good again. 5. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. The truth is. 4. If. etc. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.W WEIGHT. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. before facts have actually been verified. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. Not only that.. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. however.) 3. included six small meals a day. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. scientists. WORDS. refined. the only diet that had ever worked for them. bleached flour. diet and weight. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. First one. Confusing. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. alcohol.

father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. 18.6. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. Has your mother. 19. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 17. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 9. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 20. © Copyright 2003. 8. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. 10. 7. Do you eat breakfast? 15. Out of all the food you eat in a day. Do you associate a 109 .

you know that as strange as it may sound. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. More often than not. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. by working it. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You know © Copyright 2003. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. Abuse victims. We heal from physical injuries. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. having said all that. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. survivors. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. satisfaction. WRONG! Words have power. 110 . It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. You had to be strong. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. a lack of fulfillment. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. confidence and happiness. they include abandonment issues. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say.

[Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. This is why “words” do have so much power. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. Once said they are out there forever. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. But most of all. As a matter of fact. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. The same holds true for what you hear. keep your thoughts strong. your talent. words can hurt you. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. wife. throughout your life entire life. When this occurs. this planet needs you.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your 111 . someone will answer. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. dreams and desires. Vent when you are alone. lover. But you are wrong. But when you are with someone you care about. Also. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. I have to say this. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. And that’s what venting to another is. Your life depends on it After all.because I say it over and over again. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. scream and yell and swear all you want. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Think and dream about your future. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Make some calls. husband. call out for help. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. find out what you can do. And for each of us. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. but not only that. wider and stronger each and every day. intelligence and compassion.

much like arthritis in wet weather. or. If you do not feel ready for that. However. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. can help. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.withdraw into ourselves. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to 112 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. especially in interpersonal situations. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. © Copyright 2003. If you can do this. Releasing sessions can work well with these. when things are going smoothly.

BINGER ETC. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Wait 10-20 seconds. Whatever it is. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. drinker. the decision becomes easy. Of these two possible futures in your life. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. Wait 10-20 seconds. very clearly. doesn’t it?. Once you decide that you want to quit. Notice what you see. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. © Copyright 2003. energy.X X SMOKER. healthy. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. vibrant. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. clear and easy breathing. Before you make that decision. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. vital. drinking. And now let those images fade completely away. are you now sure which one you want. clear skin. your energy will flow in that direction. 113 . What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. binger or whatever. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. What do you look like. Make a commitment and a decision. Make a promise to yourself. Notice how you feel. the body you want. When you have done this. strong. You can choose to live your life. you have a decision to make. You have the opportunity to see a different future. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. what is different and better.

Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington 114 . you always have a choice. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. In making a choice. you can only lift a small amount of weight. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. your life script. happiness. Everything in life is a choice. Compare it to strength training. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. you may never receive it. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are success. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. it does not mean you will receive it. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. When you first begin to work your muscles. joy. © Copyright 2003. For instance. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. your entire belief system. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. a better job. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. So. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice.

paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. looking around. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.hollygleason. check it regularly. © Copyright 2003. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your 115 .com To me. check it out at www. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down.According to Holly. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie.

or ideal. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. cause. it means a diligent enthusiasm. And always remember this. fight for your dreams and your 116 . An antonym is apathy. cause. intensity and passion. or ideal and the determination to further that person. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. please do it with zeal and without apathy.

There are 15 points. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for.EXERCISES: The following series of 117 . Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. © Copyright 2003. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. To make this even more effective. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times.” “gamut spot.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. You can also visualize this word in your mind. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you.” and the “sore spot. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. While you are doing these three karate chops.

or DEPRESSED. 12.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 8. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 2. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. anxiety. 9. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 7. 6. or anything you want changed.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. This is not a sentence. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight.” © Copyright 2003. You can go through the tapping process several times. but do each issue separately. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 11. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 3. 5. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Do what feels right for you. fear. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. 10. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. or AFRAID. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering 118 . 4. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. you can use just one or two words.

you can take that anger inside and burn it away.” And that’s all there is to it.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. And as your heart fire increases. feelings. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your 119 . you open all pathways to love. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. © Copyright 2003. I love myself. emotions. your connection with yourself is complete. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. By burning away all anger and negativity. ideas and beliefs within yourself. And as your heart fire increases. hurt. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. you also release all negative thoughts. uncross your arms and legs. As you do this. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. resentment or negativity away. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions.

feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. smell it. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind.e. When you reach the © Copyright 2003.. allow that color to flow in and out as well. cleansing breath in and let it out. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. Then imagine or visualize white granules. If you feel like it and have the time. smell the salt.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. If another color comes to mind. hear the waves and the birds. taking this time right now for myself. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. like salt. anyplace. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. months or even years to be released. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. days. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. Then when you are 120 . Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. see the image). Take yourself fully into this place. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. weeks. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. heal yourself and relax yourself. hear it (i. See it. hours. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. at the beach.

I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. You are in charge of your healing and your life. thoughts and feelings. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to 121 . there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. relationship. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. happy and having fun together. © Copyright 2003. activity. my guy and I are in love. emotions. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. or whatever it is your desire. Here’s my snapshot. yourself. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. You are in control and in charge of your body. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. Let go of all tightness within you. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job.

POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I vibrate with positive energy. With my thoughts I create my new. © Copyright 2003. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. positive delightful reality. live in the moment and dream in the future.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I keep saying ranch until that image. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. I choose to forget past mistakes now. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and 122 . I say to myself RANCH.

26.. 52..... 78....2..... 32...... 101.. 78 EFT .. ........ 3..8 Adrian Calabrese.. 126.. 95. 56... 22.... 28.. 7... 24..... 79 cancer...... 116 Bereavement ...... 5. 94 baggage.. 130 focus. 86.. 26.. 6...... 89 balance .. 60.. 115... 37. 35...... 21 David Spiegel............ 78 cortisol ....... 21... 5.......54 association ...... 3.. 44...... 6..... 23...... 55.. 63....... 61... 75. 109...Index 12-step programs .3.. 114.. 4......... 130 apprehension.. 20..... 88... 33.. 14.. 81.......... 36....... 28. 3 Alzheimer’s .. 6............. 128 anxiety 7.. 43..... 101.58 choice2....... 31......... 71. 43..... 52.2....... 42.......38........88 clarity 9. 62. 121 drug abuse......... 123.. 21..... 81... 10.... 94..... 73 depression . 41.. 44..... 5........ 60........ 38..30.. 30 Eric Butterworth ........ 103....... 60.. 78... 6.. 26. 36......................... 52. 46... 46.. 79......... 16....... 44. 46. 97......... 3 addiction .... 74. 24 eating disorders.. 32................. 39..... 29............... 32.......... 48.. 52. 78.... 60.... 106... 45... 27. 91......... Ph. 96.. 129 diet ........ 78 alternative programs .... 74. 5...... 90........ 103... 8.... 36. i ... 89 fear 1.... Ph.....1.... 44. 6.... 31.. 131 dreams 22...... 94. 12 Elvira Lang .. 80.. 15.. 45. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross .... 53.. 8.... 121. 114... 94..... 57.......... 57.. 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.... 37. 106.D........ 81......5. 36..........125 anger .... 10 binging .. 71... 89...... 35. 47... 58.. 31.. 71... 95 © Copyright 2003......... 125. 35...... 105 darkest hour . 43. 114. 116.. 78...... 70..... 50... 79... 32. 35.... 105..... 22.. 24.... 77... 35.. 4............ 9........... 25. 89. 113...... 58..... 59... 77... 7............... 121................. 93... 58.. 109.. 102.. 129 alcoholism..... 23.. 27....... 30... 78 chronic pain .. 53.. 21. 119 confidence............ 22. 47..... 37.... 81.. 129.................. 43.. 35. 35........ 54. 96....24... 36......... 89. 122.......... 79 dream 1. 7....2. 102. 103. 55.. 98.... 78 affirmations... 117.5..... 97.. 4... 50.53............ 70. 21............... 94..5. 112.. 104.... 76........ 102. 56. 19.. 97....5. 78 forgiveness.... 90 coronary disease.. 19.. 94.......... 33... 50...... 45........7......1. 128........... 78.. 125 energy ... 18..... ..... 114.. 71.. 129 food addictions...... 66........ 124 drinking... 47......24....121 blood sugar ...... 76 desire..... 27..... 20. 81............. 60.... 119.. 38.. 37. 110.... 104....... 126 adrenalin ... 79.... 37..... 2... 46............. 112 compassion ...21 Arreed Barabasz .. 23... 83...... 94. 44... 73... 84. 38. 94.. 38.. 130 epilepsy .....86 Circle Therapy .. 39. 119.... 21. 114.. 127..107 abuse 5.. 99.. 104.9.......... 76.. 12...... 113 Abraham Hicks ...... 95...... 6..30 anchor . 27...........2... 37............ 21. 2...D..... 63................. 88.. 47. 63.. 118 consciousness 8. 98....... 44.. 76.... 90. 80. 72. 78 E&P attraction .... 95... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ... 34... 38. 55 emotional freedom technique .......... 97. 10........ 44..... 35.... 110 communication . 54... 36..... 116 disease.. 84.... 5..... 1.. 118 acute pain. 92. 7.. 21......... 87. 6....... 48. 79 Carol Ginandes. 63........ 42.. 6. 104....... 126.... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 45... 42.. 5.7.. 97. 97............ 77....... 37...... 78. 30........ 76...... 64.. 65.. 41. 127........ 106.... 72.... 96......... 7 attraction .. 6. 104......... 22.86 addict .... 127.. 21................ 32.. 74... 55 Dawn Abraham . 67........ 32.. 25. 122 chronic anger ..

.. 86. 63. 29..... 58.....8.... 128........9.... 1... 47..... 37.... 94 mood swings . 10.... 84 panic attacks.... 53... 83 Robert Dilts..........37......... 44... 77........... 59. 66. 112... 35.... 77... 118. 50... 84.. 78.......... 7........ 127 hypersuggestible . 56. 6 Pat Dennis...5... 67. 110. 89 phobias............ 76.. 78.....83 John Kappas. 44..... 32... 47... 29.... 37 self-esteem ...........9..... 6...... 39.. 57. 47.... 47...... 77........ 6.......... 99.... 37. 47.... 109. 85.. 22........... 26. 122 Ida Kendall ................ 60.... 79.... 10.... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ..... 120... 129 heart disease. 58...... 59......... 89.............. 35..8 hypnosis .. 32..... 23...5.... 7.......... 13. 76....... 10.24 Journal of Clinical Psychology........... 27.. 123...35 goal ............... 6.32 hypnotherapy ... 118. 109. 120 relaxation .............. 89.... 78...... 13.... 56.. 94.....83 Law of Attraction....3.............. 42... 59.... 74... 9... 65............ 78... 2.. 78........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler .... 8...... 114 imagery .. 107. 118. 21.... 36.. 8....... 105 Jane C. 67...7.. 116 happiness ............................. ii ........... 94.... 57 neural interconnections . 34...... 102........ 107.10... 35......... 32 phobia ............................ 121 relationships24..... 43.. 125 men ...... 81.... 32....... 55.. 118 Gary Craig .............. 30........... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003........ 39. 21... 95... 122. 56... 105.. 129 grief... 129 resentment....... 30.. 37... 36. 53. 78. 83 nitric oxide ..... 125... 50............ 46......... 57.. 17 Janet Luhrs....... 108 Parkinson’s disease.. 54. 83 Roger Callahan ..... 79. 58.... 111....... 58...... 43. 58.. 30..30 high blood pressure............. 77........ 37.11. 83... 115. 28.... 127.............. 6. 77.... 65.. 38.. 37.. 128 Richard Bandler ........ 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ... 19.. 113 prosperity ........ 109.... 78.. 83 overload ......... 57........... 79... 71 life force... 9........... 32. 78 NLP...... 78.... 54...... 79... 89..... 39............ 119 neuro-linguistic programming ..... 78. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att....... 86 habits... 37................10.. 109... 45.... 54.... 130 Judith DeLozier .36 joy .. 22...............32 illness 36......... 33... 87... 49. 76............ 47. 107........ 93... 4. 30 passive-aggressive ............. 43. 15. 30.. 58....12 habit ..... 59...... 92. 56.........24... 27..........7.... 16... 86....... 5.... 37............... 58...... 28. 37 powerless ... 57... 103....fulfillment . 63.. 119....... 88....... 59.... 69............. 99............. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.......... Woods . 34............. 14............54 Irina Wardas ... 43. 77........... 77. 77................. 46.. 36 Guilt .. 110........ 56.......... 115. 3......... 121 snapshot . 87.. 42. 10... 53.. 87. 95....... 75... 64............ 38.... 101......... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .... 56 hurt... 79.....10. 115 smoking. 119.. 5. 6. 21.... 93 message units .. 60....... 88........ 125 immune suppression .. 117............ 15........ 43........ 37......... 7.................. 22......... 77..1... 79. 22.. 31. 86. 79... 53........... 64....... 103.................. 54......... 116. 120........... 54....28 John Grinder . 107 healing .. 101 self-image . 57... 53. 118 self-talk ........ 110.... 127.. 40. 53...... 57....... 113... 22. 52.. 58.......... 10... 5.. 51..... 6. 67...2...... 122 Harvard .......... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ... 114................... 117 medicine.. 101....... 113. 77. 5... 26...... 87 lose weight 4..76 Hridaya Yoga.. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice....... 38. 29 neuro pathways .... 25... 42............... 21..40.....

47........................57 stress hormones . 128 subconsciously............ 34...................... 95.................83 Stephen Kosslyn . 114 visualization..... 78...44.. 78.......... 101. 77. 29....... 58.. 79......... 46. 8... 75.... 21....... 91.. 37..... 7................ 85.5.. 34...... 84....... 30. 38........ 7.............107 trigger...... iii .. 95..... 114 weight .....Stephen Gilligan ............. 109......... 5....... 80... 57.... 116 Women............................. 78 subconscious..... 107.......... 60............ 110 Two Futures .... 109 triggers . 36...... 45.... 85........ 109.28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .... 118..4.................. 79 thought habits . 122 zeal... 44.. 120 suicide... 26.... 47............ 10......53 transformation......................... 77....... 120 yummy list .... 5... 59......... 113....6.. 6........... 124 © Copyright 2003...... 6.. 48.... 43...... 121 value areas of life. 65... 59... 6...... 37. 22.. 39............................ 30..... 106 wounds .......... 37.............. 122..... 111 victimhood ...................... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att...... 2...... 94.. 112.. 56... 115... 77..................... 114 triggering event . 77.......

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