This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life
By Linda Simmon C.Ht.
… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.
… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services http://www.virtualservices.com.au for making everything work and look the way it should.
There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.
the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. emotions and perceptions. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. As I said before. feelings. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. when given the proper instructions. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. . Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. neuro pathways. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives.
................................................................46 SMART GOALS ..32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).37 FEAR ............34 ENERGY ...................................................................................................................... G......... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE...............................5 ANXIETY ... FOCUS.................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)........................................................ ANGER..8 CHANGE..............26 DEPRESSION .......................................................................................................32 EMOTIONS............................. E...................................37 FABULOUS ................................................................3 ANGER .......................................................................... EMOTIONS............................................................................................................21 DEPRESSION........................................................................43 GOALS ....................................................................................................................................................................................................... ........................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE ....... AFFIRMATIONS.....................................................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS.............. ADDICTION..............................................................1 ADDICTION ......1 ABUNDANCE .......18 COMMUNICATION .................8 BEREAVEMENT ................................................................................................7 BALANCE................................................. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ......................... DIETING...35 FABULOUS.................................46 B............................ ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS...........................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ....................................... ANXIETY........................................40 FOCUS ......26 DIETING .................. ENERGY ..............TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE. D..8 BALANCE ......................................... C..................................................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ........................................................................ FEAR...........15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ..................................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE............ FORGIVENESS.................. F.................................. BEREAVEMENT ....
.......................................54 IMAGERY....................... O......................83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .....................................49 HEALING .................................................. LIFE.....................67 LOVE.......................................................................68 LUCK ............................. INTUITION...65 LIFE......... LUCK ......84 I......................................H.......................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING ........................................................................................................ PERCEPTION.................... P. LOVE............................................................................ PHOBIAS. Q...............54 INTUITION......................................................................................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION..... M..................59 JEALOUSY...............59 KARMA.......51 HYPNOSIS......................................................................................................... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)................................................72 MIND SUCCESS .........52 IMAGERY................................................................... HEALING.............................................................................. MIND SUCCESS .................................... L..................................70 MALE DEPRESSION................................................................................ LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS....................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ...................................................................................... K.... N....................... ...........................................................................................................................63 KISMET .............82 PROSPERITY ....................................................................................80 PERCEPTION .................................................49 HEART FIRE ................................................... J.........................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION............................. HYPNOSIS...............................69 MALE DEPRESSION.....................56 JEALOUSY ......................... PROSPERITY ....................78 PAIN...............................................................80 PAIN..............................................................63 KARMA ...........81 PHOBIAS ..............................................................63 LAW OF ATTRACTION............................................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .................77 OVERLOAD......... KISMET ...73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP).
.............................. W...................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.........................................................................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ...............................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE...................................... Z..............................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS................... WOUNDS ...............111 X SMOKER...............................................................R...........................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ..................................................104 VISUALIZATION ..............113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT................. BINGER ETC ..........................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .........................108 WORDS.......................................... SELF-TALK............ STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)...................................................114 YUMMY LIST ............ WORDS.........................106 WEIGHT........................... Y..................103 VALUE AREAS........................................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS...............................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE...........................108 WEIGHT ....................... DRINKER..................... RELATIONSHIPS.............122 INDEX ...... U............................96 STUCK ........................................................................................................................................................................ V............................103 VICTIMHOOD ........95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE........113 TWO FUTURES ..................94 SELF-TALK........................ X......................... ii.............................................................................116 S......................... STUCK ..............................114 ZEAL ...................... i............................... EXERCISES .............. iii .................................................................................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)........................86 RELEASING ........................99 TIMELINE THERAPY .....94 STRESS ......................... VISUALIZATION............................. RELEASING....................................................................................... YUMMY LIST ........... VICTIMHOOD...................................................................................................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE..........86 RELATIONSHIPS ................................ T................................................................
Fear of change. even worse. we don’t trust it to be real. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. excitement and yes. Because of this. © Copyright 2003. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. having an abundant life means you are living a rich. love. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. fear of failure. however. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. The future.net 1 . but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. indeed. incident.A ABUNDANCE. think we are making progress or stagnating. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. a life that is rich and full. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. ANGER. fear of success. It is our perception of any event. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. it is filled with laughter. money and success. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. ADDICTION. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. In order to make changes. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. AFFIRMATIONS. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. satisfying. usually as a result of fear. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. As a result. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. occurrence. Even when we know we have this tool. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
however. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. and life just gets better and better. the more vibrant and alive you become. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. at least while they are using their drug. you do have a choice. A tempo that is magnetic. at least for a while. the more connected you feel. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know.. Allow that desire to flow through you. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. People without strong desires slowly whither away. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate.e. helps them suppress the pain. however. Do something regularly and you develop a habit.net 2 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. so. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. cocaine. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. i. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. who you can call when you feel you might slip. It is important though. alcohol. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. Your first step.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. no matter what program you are going through. Unfortunately. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you.
net 3 .habitdoc.secularsobriety.org www.com www. if it is not done. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight it. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been going. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do.passagesmalibu. However. you will forever remain an addict. Many people.com www. A friend of mine once told me. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict. then you.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. When you face this pain that you have been running from. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. www. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. but you don’t have to. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping.com The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. I agree with this school of thought.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. so. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. the addict. The sooner we realize and accept that. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us. though.practicalrecovery.
• Always remember this. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you.net 4 . your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. that’s like moving uphill. then that means you are on the right track. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. When you do this. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it.” the message sent to your mind. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. Don’t let fear hold you back. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. your computer. If necessary. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. Always create an image of what you want in your life. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. always focus on what you want to move towards. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. when what you really mean is. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.” Or say.” • State your affirmations in the positive. © Copyright 2003. not what you want to avoid. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality. the steering wheel of your car. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts.” Or “I will lose weight. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. So. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. • Be specific. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. When you move towards what you want.
The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. fatigue. you may blame others for your situation or condition. In situations that cause fear. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. In addition. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. Even if we bury anger deep inside. crying. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. Holding onto anger. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. alcoholism. drug abuse and depression. going from one trauma to the next. When a relationship ends. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. looking for justice and revenge. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. When this is the case.net 5 . The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. If you see yourself as a victim. along with mourning.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. you may see yourself as an avenger. it can be just as damaging. eating disorders. and heart palpitations. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. hurt. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. anger is the most common response. can lead to serious food addictions. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. resentment. shaking. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Not only is this destructive to you. then anger becomes a serious health risk. So. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. and in small doses can be a good thing. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. But some people seem to be angry all the time. cold hands. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. hostility.
Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. and even increased workplace injuries. sarcastic. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). suicide. Unfortunately. and can help make you more content. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. In the past. however. If you feel powerless. Power and anger are frequently related. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again.net 6 . fear and hurt. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. Remember. and stubborn. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. bitterness. and can lead to serious food addictions. it will never go away. expressing your anger in an indirect way. cancer. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. Also. and depression. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. releasing your anger. alcohol and drug abuse. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. but anger that may be directed at you by others. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. You could find yourself intentionally irritating.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. coronary disease. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless.
Fears. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. anxiety. nausea.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. etc. driving a car. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. Also. being home alone. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. fear or anxiety. weakness. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. © Copyright 2003. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. flying. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis.). This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. fear or anxiety.net 7 . mood swings. shakiness.
I told him the usual stuff. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Good advice. let them be a reminder to look inside.B BALANCE. Happiness. you know. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. Just think about that a moment. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. Twelve hours of day and night. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. that happiness must come from within ourselves. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a perfect balance. right? Yes and no. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. getting involved with a church. There isn’t another person. Sometimes we need reminders. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest.net 8 . No matter what you hear. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. The problem was. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. then he’d really truly be happy. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. it didn’t work. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. No one can tell you how to be happy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. then it would make him happy as well. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. place or thing that can make you happy.
lover. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. Woods. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. You are able to access your subconscious. the right kind of suggestions. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. working for you. fulfillment and life find you. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. feeling. our voice. happiness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. job or whatever you are seeking.uk Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. They allow you to clear out the old. desire. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. goal. to balance the light and dark within yourself. It will. and in doing so. Whether it’s an emotion. That means stop analyzing everything so much. even the words we use. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. In this state. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. No matter how hard we may try. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. stop thinking it to death. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. But even more than that. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind.co. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. if we are angry. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night.net 9 . jane@changingpeople. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts.
I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. letting relevant people know.the intensity and duration may differ. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. That said. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. and so on. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. To a degree that can be true. It is an immutable part of the human condition. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . © Copyright 2003. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. you must do what is right for you. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. However. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. for example. and generally we prefer not to think about it.net 10 . when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. just a little.
She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. once the first shock waves have abated. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. Help them tell you their feelings. disconcertingly. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish.net 11 . It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. recognizing it and naming it. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. or those suffering alongside us. is a refusal to believe the news. This is where someone less involved can offer help. We may need evidence. we may be compelled to visit the scene. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. Often that is enough. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. It is unrealistic but again. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. and just plain wrong. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. or for feeling angry. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. when they are breaking bad news to patients. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Some enlightened doctors know. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. “If I do this. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt.Denial A second common response. a normal response. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. we may need to be told several times. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. For example. © Copyright 2003. uncaring. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died.
Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. just let it go. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. was decreed. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death.net 12 . even perhaps depressed. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. and even our clothing. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. like fundraising for a particular charity. how to manage our grief. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. You cannot short circuit this process. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. I have lost someone significant in my life’. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. For example.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. when our behaviour.
feeling there is no point. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. But actually. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. Let close friends offer you comfort. If you need a hug. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. ask them. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. we experiment with new ways of behaving. you never go right back to the beginning. Experiment At some point. People want to help but they often don’t know how. which can be a comfort. however it feels. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. However hard it is. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. not in any sense.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. So. and this will of course vary from person to person. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. such as excessive use of alcohol. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. You may find. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain.net 13 . If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. © Copyright 2003. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. we begin to move on. be it with a handshake or a hug. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. in this phase. This does not mean forgetting them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. I hope it has been helpful however. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. so we need to use our discretion. Make your peace with that and all will be well. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Again. Literally. ritual can be helpful at this time. whether for you personally. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Helping In Western culture. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. a card sincerely written. Of course. surrounded by people. be it lighting candle. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. If you can. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. or an offer of help with the shopping. taking flowers to an appropriate place. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. take medical advice. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. be it taking some homemade food round. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support.” © Copyright 2003. Knowing this can help you plan for it. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts.net 14 . The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. as I have said. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others.
make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. some research based. Some people embrace change and some resist it. NewBeginnings email@example.com than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. depending on the change. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Woods. we can get very fed up. Sometimes. jane@changingpeople. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it.net 15 . we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change.C CHANGE. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. Just remember this. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. some anecdotal. and some simply telling you how to do it. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. even depressed. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. This phase goes on for ages or not too long. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. depending on the severity of the change.co. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. almost no one likes it.uk In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. Finally. Sometimes.
Finding they are. Worse. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. However. You are speechless at first. It may ring a bell with you. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. A Story Here is a short story about change. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. © Copyright 2003. “What?” you say. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You are feeling bright and chirpy. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives.net 16 . You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it.
For example. The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. angry. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. joy of joys. For example.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies.But then. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. yes.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. no one but you is going to see this. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. Use two different colours if you like.net 17 . Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. So. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. don’t just focus on the negatives. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. That is a fact to record on the top line. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. or determined to make more effort. vulnerable. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. did it make you sad.
you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not.net 18 . the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. are funny things. our thoughts. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. Sometimes. © Copyright 2003. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. For example. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. But as the sun rises. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. They begin almost imperceptibly. However.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. no one makes us feel anything. Dawns. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. our responses to change are individual and personal. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. and therefore our feelings. The same principle applies to you. One may approach it in a positive way. Then. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. Obviously. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. Similarly with our responses to change. At first. overloaded message units and repressed fears. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. another to frown and feel aggrieved. as the dawn progresses. Actually. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. while another may be much more fatalistic. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. however.
Giving you the feeling of freedom. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. confused or fearful. inept. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. When this happens. Unfortunately. relaxation.anxiety and emotions. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. If you are starting to feel anxious. you start to believe it yourself. you do not need to feel this way. clumsy. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). Ultimately. however. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. given enough time and repetition. For example. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. you are in essence training your mind. detailed imprint of what you desire. remember “dawn” can and will happen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. need or want.net 19 . Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. Be absolutely clear about what you want. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. confidence. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. even our physical health and well being. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. but will actually consider them an order. © Copyright 2003. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. see the right path. apprehension and fear.
it is a journey. so. then the real fun can start. you are actually living the life you want. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you want a New Beginning. with clarity. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. you always have a choice. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. Know that no matter what things might look like. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. You will feel stronger. abundance. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. go to that party you’ve just been invited to.net 20 . realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. confidence and trust. realizing all the possibilities available to you. It’s the life in your years. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and.achieving prosperity. does and will continue to offer you what you need. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. all of your life. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap.” So live your life fully. Guide them. you need to be aware. mold them and do it over and over again. want and desire. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. As Abraham Lincoln once said. It does make a difference. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. Trust that the Universe has. in addition. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. yoga. And know that when you make choices that express the real you.
malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra.knowing. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. dolphins . or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. © Copyright 2003. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. our answers are all around us. I truly believe that faith. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. The problem is that we communicate differently. engage and listen.net 21 . yellow balloon. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. courage. look and listen.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. It is important not to go looking for your sign. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind.
whatever when upset. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. It is the physical who yells. enjoys spur of the moment activities. and how natural and normal this is.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. among other things.net 22 . however. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. is so much more than simple questions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. people don’t realize just how true this is. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. Communication. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. screams. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. how they can come apart. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. opposites really do attract. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. These two types. they will answer yes or no. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. So. An example would be. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. it isn’t. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. In relationships. but E&P affects. © Copyright 2003. possibly even throws things when angry. if you ask a physical if they are cold. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. First. the way we communicate with each other. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. cries.
You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. You had to be strong. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling.The same thing occurs when communicating. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. they can ruin lives. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. the more the physical pushes. This E&P communication. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. however is just one part of communication. Also. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. self-confidence. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. Since we tend to project our thoughts. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. you can see how this could be problematic. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. Conversely. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. We heal from physical injuries. © Copyright 2003. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going.net 23 . It becomes a vicious circle. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Remember though. Words have power. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack.
just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. This is why “words” do have so much power. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. dreams and desires.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. find out what you can do. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. but not only that. © Copyright 2003. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. by working it. intelligence and compassion. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. You know because I say it over and over again. bad relationship and can keep on going. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But you are wrong. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. throughout your life entire life. leave. As a matter of fact. beautiful heart and so much love to give. Also. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. this planet needs you. call out for help. The woman who has come out of a nasty. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. your talent. someone will answer. is powerful beyond belief.net 24 . so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. Make some calls.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. keep your thoughts strong. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. each of us. Your life depends on it After all. wider and stronger each and every day. But most of all. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. The same holds true for what you hear. Think and dream about your future.
Once said they are out there forever. scream and yell and swear all you want. husband.net 25 . © Copyright 2003. our child. And that’s really what venting to another person is. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. wife. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. words can hurt you. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. words can destroy you. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about.Each of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But when you are with someone you care about. Vent when you are alone.
but in essence they are just like any other habit. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. According to Dr. we can take control of our thoughts and change them.D DEPRESSION. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. As research continues in this area. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness.net 26 .even into very advanced old age. suicidal feelings. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. Dr. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. © Copyright 2003. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. thought patterns and thought habits. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. In addition.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later.it is created. and just like any other habit. Miller goes on to stress. however. DIETING. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness.here is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. Jill Ammon-Wexler. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. depression. Researchers like Dr. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. AND -. if this work fulfills its potential. In fact. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. No one is born with such a brain -. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. According to Dr. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons .Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. if we want to. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts.it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. conditions and illnesses.
it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. I don’t want to be around negative people.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. fulfilled life. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. even more importantly. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. what we say to ourselves.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. “disappointed in my relationships”. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. “unhappy”. I just want to be happy. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. What we think. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. What it does understand.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. healthy muscles. © Copyright 2003.net 27 . images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. though. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die.use it or lose it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. This is hugely important! All our thoughts. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. Think about that a moment. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want.
You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. it will continue to go on. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. When there is negative thinking. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. epilepsy. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. Ph. with the aid of hypnosis. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Reflect on the positive. stroke and Alzheimer’s. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. subconscious level.D. 100 times more. on a subconscious level. Pay attention to what you are thinking. Fixing one problem can often help the other. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Parkinson’s disease. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. Bruce Cohen. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. reflect on the contrary. including cancer. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. whether it is physical or emotional. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 2005. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese.” observes Dr. heart disease. Take responsibility for your thoughts. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. So. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. Massachusetts.net 28 . October 18. Woman’s World. is originating on a deeper..
The first diet included six small meals a day. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. it seems as if all the doctors. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. © Copyright 2003. now again we are hearing. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. When most of us think about diet and weight. test or theory. particularly among our young people. the second diet was only three meals a day. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Part of one study. Confusing. people. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. according to the New York Times. we are really only getting part of the story. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. and of course.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. diet and weight.net 29 . Chocolate was bad for you. The truth is. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). sometimes to death. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. is bad for you. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. especially in the United States. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. and these are serious issues indeed. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. but in addition. we just don’t want to do it. First we were told that fat. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. especially our young women. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. then we were told maybe it isn’t. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. And throughout all of it. any kind of fat. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. never a comparison with all the other studies. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive.
With the internet available to all of us. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. and getting the right kind of support and advice. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. © Copyright 2003. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence or happiness. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. one of the first things I tell them is. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. Knowledge is indeed power. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. Releasing negative thoughts. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. both emotional and physical. it can include abandonment issues.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. In fact. Just as with any weight. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. just how can we overcome these physical cravings.net 30 . by taking control of our thoughts. a lack of fulfillment. As we live our lives. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. weight issues are rarely just about weight. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. satisfaction. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market.
DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. what do you see.e. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. i. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. that we keep going back to it. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. © Copyright 2003. Look at yourself. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. take control of your thoughts and change your life. So wonderful. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. fear. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. If you don’t like it. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. You can continue the work on your own. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. what does your world look like. though just an illusion. observe how you feel. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself.Knowledge. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. This is. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue.. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. what do you think about. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. I keep going back to this one phrase. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. in fact. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. though is not just about external fact. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious.com.net 31 . So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems.
There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. posttraumatic stress disorder. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). Not a hypothetical path. has no value of its own. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. © Copyright 2003. a negative experience itself. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. depression. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. EMOTIONS. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance.net 32 . any negative experience. addictions and phobias. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. fear. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. general stress. ENERGY. As I’ve written before. anxiety. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. including depression. anger. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture.
This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. war trauma or severe physical illness. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. As stated earlier. With regard to addictions. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. and more importantly.net 33 . since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. emptiness and anxiety. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. EFT can help with both the cravings. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. Remember. to addiction. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. weight loss to pain and illness. understanding the negative experience is not enough. In addition. With or without hypnosis. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. do not use self-hypnosis. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. deprivation. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT.
EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer.net 34 . hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. hostility. even more importantly. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. accidents and increased workplace injuries. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. One such study by Dr. By forgiving. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. meditation. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. resentment. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Ryke Geerd Hamer. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. hurt and unforgiveness. but our physical health as well. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. Likewise. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. hurt. It can even be linked to suicide. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. For example.
such as genetics. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. In most cases of cancer. pathogens. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. etc). and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. diet. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. it prevents depression. but it is not. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. In addition to nurturing your mind. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. vaccines. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. that we are out of balance. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. etc. exposure to toxic substances. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whole grains. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. seems somewhat contradictory. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. white flour. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Throughout this book you will find theories. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease.specifically. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit.net 35 .
Hypnosis can help you. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork.who have the ability to relax more fully. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. stress. © Copyright 2003. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagery. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. but balance will return. or an inability to let go and just relax. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. While listening to your hypnotherapist. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. So.net 36 .
To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. FOCUS. Fiber. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. Healthy fats. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. which as we know reduce inflammation. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. soy. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. 2. aiming for 30 to 50 times. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Chew properly. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. whole grains. The indigestible parts of fruits. Eat the right foods. Fruits and vegetables and spices. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. turmeric. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. Increase your intake of fish. safflower and vegetable oils. © Copyright 2003. try counting the chews in each bite. Drink more water. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise.net 37 . nuts. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. garlic liberally.carotenoids in carrots. Their phytonutrients . Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. primary by reducing the inflammation. FEAR. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day.F FABULOUS. until the food becomes liquid.
Breathe. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. 3. Sweat – cleans up your system. Any form of exercise helps. Detox. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. chemicals from manufacturing. But breathing is also effective. take deep breaths. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. Eat homemade food. As a matter of fact. 6. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. but so will saunas and hot baths.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Regular exercise should make you sweat. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. 5. 4. which creates less gas. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. our organs.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. chew. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. our hair. our tissues. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system.net 38 . our skin. Losing weight gradually . Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. Pesticides. Our blood is what creates our cells. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). The solution: Sweat. Detox is a relative term.) If under pressure at meals. and metals such as mercury and lead from air.
Take the laughter yoga class. our relationships. hydrogenated fats. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes .consists of slow. I call it facial meditation.net 39 . bread. 7. © Copyright 2003. and improve overall health. refined flours. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. relaxes your body. improving your healthy well-being. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. 9. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness .journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. etc. fats. Have a home-made facial. Tai chi -moving meditation . you sure can laugh at one. Laugh. diary products. grains. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. 8. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. focused. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. 10. Have sex. Even if you can’t tell a joke. meats. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. boost mood.it is delicious. fried foods. our jobs.
one thing seems to come up most frequently. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. healthy and joyous life you want. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. a short while.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. FEAR: fear of change.naturalcounselor. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. though.com FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. mood swings. that one thing. it keeps us from making a big mistake. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That one thing is FEAR. insomnia or lack of energy. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while.net 40 . As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams.com and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. or even worse. fear of failure. what we expect. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. fear of success. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal.
many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. We were told to grow up. we are afraid to dream. pretend and let our imaginations soar. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. have a reasonably happy life. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). Something that is important to you right now. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. and grow up. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. 2. as we grew older. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. instead. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it.net 41 . the world of adults. Your goals must be your very own. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. we were told to leave those dreams behind. the more connected we feel. People without strong desires slowly whither away. As children we were free to play. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. But. relationships. Be honest. write down your goals and if you did write them down. This is wrong. and life just gets better and better. the more vibrant and alive we become. career and health because you are afraid of failing. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. afraid of disappointment. get out your list and read it again.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. When you have specific. If you haven’t done so already. friends and lovers live this kind of life. © Copyright 2003. in order to be an adult. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. for the most part. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. we have chosen.
As an example. if your goal is to run a marathon. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. a powerful tool. even though we would gladly give it if asked. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. life coach or whomever and ask for support. it’s hard to focus. 4.net 42 . When you say your affirmations out loud. If you have not asked for support much in the past. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. laughing. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. Use them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 5. breathing things. push yourself to ask for help now. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. parent. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. FOCUS Look around you. crying and so on. doing something together. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003.3. though. Sometimes. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Focus. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. You know. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. Remember the Power of Affirmations.
health. The subconscious processes everything. © Copyright 2003. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. our subconscious is able to do this for us. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. This is commonly referred to as memory. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. Over time. sight. smell and hearing. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. though. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. psychological imbalances. it still exists in our subconscious. forgive and accept forgiveness. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. interpersonal and relationship problems. confront the situation as needed. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. whether asleep or awake. It disables your emotional resources. Luckily.taste. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. success and fulfillment. though. and its effects may be positive. When we go through periods of stress.net 43 . negative or neutral to our mental. affirmative statements. you are bombarded with millions of message units. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. recorded on brain and body cells. resentment or anger. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. physical and emotional well-being. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. During the course of a day. touch. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. that release.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -.
laughter and perspiration. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. fear and anxiety. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue.net 44 . The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. This not only applies to a current. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. existing situation. anger. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. 5. During the Releasing session. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. 6. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. 3. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. Once learned. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. Even when we sleep long hours. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. They are also © Copyright 2003. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. 2. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 4. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. tears. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis.
As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. once learned. sadness. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. 8. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). have learned. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. such as anger. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness.net 45 . the Releaser is asked to state. including health care professionals and clergy. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. function as a computer operator. can be done alone. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively.). as a Soul. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. disappointment. “I release (relevant emotions. As people from all backgrounds.” 7. © Copyright 2003. and feeling great. and your body and life are the printout. etc. the brain is your biological computer.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. however.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them.
G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. A really simple way to test this theory is this. not only does life get depressing. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. Conversely. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. If you think about anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. your current life situation. whether it is an emotion. fun. if you think about a color. Each of us is already whole. “I don’t know what I want. meaningful and exciting. not really happy.net 46 . Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. Without goals. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. something that is crucial to goal setting. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. though. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. Sometimes. a diversion to keep life interesting. You choose what you want in your life. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. Not only in your own relationships. A state of being is not an emotion. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. I don’t know about you. an activity or a thing. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. We find ourselves drifting along. thoughts and ideas. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. take the color blue for example. Think of it as a game. After you’ve done this. This same principle works the same way for emotions. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being.
SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. © Copyright 2003. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. it would be a boring and scary world. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. sometime weekly. If you do this regularly. change is the whole point. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. keeps us feeling alive. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. Adjustments are a good thing. responsible. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want. Don’t forget about free will. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. they will never be overwhelming. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. simple Measurable. He’s got free will just as we all do. it just means you make an adjustment. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless.net 47 . not if you want to improve your life. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. doesn’t mean I can have him. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. But you can’t manifest everything you want. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily.
set those goals. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. © Copyright 2003.Remember. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you.net 48 . The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are pure. So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.
by using specific. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. releasing negative thoughts. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA).” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength.net 49 . deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. Ph. It can help relieve pain. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis.. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. As David Spiegel. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. In a pilot study published in 1999. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. visualization and positive suggestions.D. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. lower blood pressure. relieve depression and so much more. imagery. speed up healing after surgery. © Copyright 2003. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. Working from the inside out. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. and help strengthen the immune system. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production.H HEALING. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. turning some functions on and others off. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and.
It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate.net 50 . director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. soothing kind of treatment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. anxiety and the need for painkillers. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. that’s because it is. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. During the operation. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. © Copyright 2003. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. though. The suggestions. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . in terms of levels of pain. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. empathic care provider and hypnosis. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. Arreed Barabasz. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. and the third received standard care. Every 15 minutes.
realizing all the possibilities available to you. A journey that you can now control. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. “It’s not just a fantasy. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. And this list goes on and on. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. In effect. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. the brain’s manager and planner. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. the hypnotized patients used less medication. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. Once again. then the real fun can start. which could account for heightened attention. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it.” says Marc Schoen. psychologists say. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks.” Using imaging technology. If you think you are seeing color. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care.net 51 . While in the trance. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. involving more than 330 patients.” says Spiegel. experienced less pain. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. you actually see it. On average. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. Spiegel and Lang found.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga.
tension and minor frustrations. this spark can grow a little dim. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. unpleasant. With a bit of practice. Some little problem or some big problem. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. you can do this exercise while awake. resentment. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When I say fuel. hurt. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. Try it once and feel the results. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. Sometimes. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. We have to cope with irritating. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. stress. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire.net 52 . the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. hurt. we each have to deal with something. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. Each incident throughout the day affects us. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). All life starts as a spark. Problems that we encounter every single day. © Copyright 2003. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. As we each move through life. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. fear. rude or just plain nasty people. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. though.jealously. My purpose is to help them remember. It’s all right there inside their subconscious.
The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. Some pleasant. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. As a result. According to Stephen Kosslyn. relaxed. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. you create a vivid.” Using hypnosis. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. more positive thoughts. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. anything at all about yourself. not only will you feel better immediately. and much better about yourself. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. © Copyright 2003. every message unit. comfort. If there is anything in your world. feel or react. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Try hypnosis. a professor of psychology at Harvard. The more visual and real you make your goal. however. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking.net 53 .We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. but the results will amaze and delight you. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. you will feel refreshed. euphoria and control of your life again. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. clarity. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
com Cheryl is talking about imagery. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ.. Simply put. failure or success. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. www. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. create passionate relationships. mend your ways. good or bad. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool.I IMAGERY. heal your body. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. 2006. what we say to ourselves. As stated in Woman’s World. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. can often help the other.net 54 . Never. However. depressed © Copyright 2003. once wrote. What we experience as feelings. fear or confidence. More and more doctors as well as patients. who I especially admire. boost your mood.cheryloneil. September 26.is determined by the thoughts you think. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. etc. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. etc. feel more loved.” What we think. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. The brain is simply another organ in your body. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.” Cheryl O’Neil. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. Your ability to overcome obstacles. Conversely. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. and change your life . a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. fixing a problem in one place. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. build self-confidence. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy.
or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.
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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it
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Another way I practice is with elevators. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The fourth part is training your mind. “What we think about we bring about. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach.com. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. Meditation. You know that saying. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. Go with your first impression you get from each card. Law of Attraction. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Abundance. You rise above thinking in mediation. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. 98% of the time I am right. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. use a deck of cards.net 58 . When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. Motivation. Self Esteem. Reiki. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation.qualifiedlifecoach. Private & Group Coaching. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you.com © Copyright 2003.
Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. you may go into a rage. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. That’s the truth of love. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. If you can cool down. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. You want revenge. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. It is essential to communicate clearly. You are angry. in control of yourself and your partner. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. delusions. projections. envy. enjoy their life. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. You want to stop what you are feeling. Often. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. and grow. succeed. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. no matter what that entails. You want to see them become more of who they are. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. and if so. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. You feel violated. It is what we would call unconditional or true love.net 59 .J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction.
the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. If you move inward and look at yourself. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. not within the relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship.net 60 . you will often experience the pain of jealousy. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. It does not. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. the jealousy resides within you. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. you cannot make a person love you. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. You can give yourself the gift. Jealousy is like an onion. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. © Copyright 2003. you cannot. If you can do this. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. If your relationship is based on Attachment. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner.
but that he or she is actually doing something about them. This is projecting. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. Look at the reality. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. really look and analyze them. These all grow out of expectation. Look at your beliefs. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. Another layer is projection. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. Going down to an even deeper layer. you can reach self-awareness. Another layer can be guilt. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. the truth behind what you are feeling.net 61 . It is their own. we find envy. We think that we should be able to rise above it. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The truth is that for most of us. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. You do not own it. there is nothing to feel guilty about. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. envy. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. Projection. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. This is natural and normal. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. This insight. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. guilt or anger. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling.
© Copyright 2003. look deep within yourself at these feelings. fear of not being worthy of love. You can choose to move away from those feelings. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. frequently they are not real. then what you are experiencing is not love. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. If you find yourself doing this. You become vulnerable. fear of being alone. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. If you love someone.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. our childhood. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself.net 62 . what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you are experiencing jealously. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. you can watch that love radiate out for all. the resentment and the hurt. but attachment. you become yourself possessed. They come from our past. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. By looking deep within. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. Fear of loss. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. and let that be who you are. they still don’t meet your expectations. Open your heart and mind to it. When you love. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. Once you release the anger. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. You do not need to experience jealously. Hypnosis can help. When you attempt to possess another person. let that guide you. Surrender to it. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. Perhaps you fear abandonment.
The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. or alternatively. There is no judgment involved. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. present and future and because of this. Most people © Copyright 2003. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. if you prefer. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well.K KARMA. but generally the concept is basically the same. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. all of which determine our future. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny).net 63 . KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Just a thought. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Jain. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions.
Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. prophet. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably.associate Destiny with fate. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fate implies no choice. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome.net 64 . stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. In the belief systems of many cultures. In the Shang dynasty in China. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. saint or seer. participate and change the direction you are heading. which is a huge component of the human psyche. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. but fate makes no allowance for free will. © Copyright 2003. Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. fate and destiny are not the same. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. If you are not satisfied with your life. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. As stated above. Step in. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination.
00 a year income. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. “Let the chips fall where they may”. The concept of the law of attraction is. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. that can help you with exactly that. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. is a good analogy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” It’s about where you put your focus.net 65 . “What you think about will happen in your life. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. LIFE. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. LOVE. The old saying. © Copyright 2003. For example.000. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. start by writing it down. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. What ever it is. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want.
It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. now grab it. pay attention to what happens next. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there.net 66 . Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. etc. Now the key here is to follow up with this. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. pay attention.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I promise you it will show up. talk to those people. Now that you have set this up. don’t panic. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. you then attracted it. You asked for what you wanted. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. allowing it to happen is vital. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. There is something there to be learned or gained. You have made it clear. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003.
So live your life. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his life. Go to my web site for more information. whatever that may entail because that’s your life.in a different package. she said “You didn’t waste those years.com LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. She told him something I want to share with all of you. Group Coaching. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. maybe © Copyright 2003. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. who has no idea that she is. originally thought of. You never.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. Not only that. The sooner we realize and accept that. you used them to learn about yourself.com. www. It is never wasted and it is never lost. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. life is messy. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. a very wise woman.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC.” And I realized as she told me this. that is the Universe telling you go…. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. tele-classes and resources are offered. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control.net 67 . but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.qualifiedlifecoach. Individual Coaching. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation.
A noun. [Obs. com·pas·sion. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. living this life to experience love. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. healing. romance. but yes. all kinds of love.net 68 . Compassion (Com-pas’sion). understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. compassion and faith. then. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. First. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. © Copyright 2003. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. v. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. I know. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. I’m not sure why exactly. trust . married or alone. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. t. Definition: To pity.] Shak. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers.” When we talk about compassion. often including a desire to help. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. you are perfect. some which I like and others not so much. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. sex. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. dating. partnered. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. I was reminded recently. never have. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion.
lazy or self-indulgent.K. Instead of listening to that old record. can start to love themselves as well. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious. Luck is a real. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. heal others and yourself. as well. those we live with. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. work with or just come into contact with. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. with all their faults. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world.net 69 . the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O.Another thing that is so important to remember. then someone else. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. one that you can get behind. measurable phenomenon. and. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. © Copyright 2003. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. someone around you. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. Give yourself a break. My only question to your would be this. nobody can make it for you. in the process. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. then maybe. that negative voice in your head.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. As Dr. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. with all these statistics facing us. “Depression may look like a single disease. Depression can manifest in many different forms.e. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. In addition. the depression and the cause of that depression.. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. 2007 article. but the underlying causes vary. And yet. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. sex. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. and this is just the tip of the iceberg.net 70 .M MALE DEPRESSION. February 26. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. This can make treatment especially difficult. In the past. M. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. (Harvard Medical School).D. or even make the depression worse. During the past 50 years. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. and so do the ideal treatments. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. certainly not for a real man.” Michael Craig Miller. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health.
the healing process. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. When this occurs. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. As I quote above. As Dr. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. bitterness. There are detours that we must take. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. fear. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. without wanting or meaning to. This is not easy. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. When you release the hurt.. hurt. love and happiness beyond measure. difficult and painful process. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. Edward M. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. fear or anger that you are experiencing. Using © Copyright 2003. October 18. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. you take back control of your own life. resentment. During the course of this journey and these detours. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. Working from the inside out. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. helping you regain strong mental-health. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. without help. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. guilt and depression. Woman’s World. With the aid of hypnotherapy.net 71 . Trying to accomplish this by yourself. When you recognize that this is occurring. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. however. 2005. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. Hallowell. smooth and without bumps or potholes. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues.D.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. Ph. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. Sometimes.
eating disorders.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. Ryke Geerd Hamer. Dr. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. alcoholism. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. © Copyright 2003. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better.net 72 . Holding onto anger. can lead to serious food addictions. resentment. hurt. This has been proven by Dr. meditation. drug abuse and depression.000 brain scans. but our physical body as well. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. With the help of 20. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. a German physician.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. pathogens. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. In addition. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. including diet. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. hostility. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function.
but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Believe me. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. use it and use it frequently. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. thought or image. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. etc. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment.exposure to toxic substances. but to your thoughts as well. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Meditation works. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. and © Copyright 2003.net 73 . stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. whole grains. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. In addition to nurturing your mind. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. etc). Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. Success is largely an inner game. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. yoga can help. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. and this applies to any negative emotion.D. Ph. I have been there and there is a way out. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. if you focus on anger. keeping track of what is working and what is not. This is a way of thinking. Success is a process of continually learning new information. guide them in a positive direction. white flour. It requires that you develop a success mind. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. vaccines. anger is what you will bring into your life.
fear of what other people will think. and create new realities. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. and failure. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or successful businessperson. fear of failure. Fear of change.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. While success requires action. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. generate new ideas. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. inventor. The success mind trains itself to ask. This is one of the laws of success. Take time to dream. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. foster creativity. Gather new information. exploring one more option or opportunity. © Copyright 2003. possibility is in the dreaming. but also change the world. fear that we are not good enough. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. and keep moving forward. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. Take action. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. conditioning. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Yet. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. make adjustments along the way. You will have to change to be successful.net 74 . hardship. fear of hard work. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. Develop a process to examine your fears. if you talk to any star athlete. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). you simply need to start. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. the less we fear them. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. learn from your mistakes. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. see unlimited possibilities.
The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. challenge. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. form opinions. You continue to grow. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. experience. When you say yes. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. create. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. Question. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. But once you say no to an opportunity. The time to begin is now. try on new perspectives. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. you will create even more opportunities for growth. Not simply because you say yes. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. It is never too late to develop your success mind. you likely will feel fear. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. your feelings. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights.net 75 . you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. Your thoughts. adventure. Mental toughness. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. your world and your success. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. As you do this. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. and grow. think. Remember. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. and success. your actions. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
Stop caring what other people think. performance coach. Ph.. better. is President of Best Life Design. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. make corrections. and smart action.D. Mollie Marti. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail.net 76 . J.bestlifedesign. lawyer. mediator. Dream big and take consistent..com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist.success and rewards your effort. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. redirect the effort. engage again and refuse to quit.molliemarti.com or www. © Copyright 2003. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. happier. directed. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. Inc. Visit her at www.D. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. and healthier lives.
Unfortunately. There is. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. Robert Dilts. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. linguistics and computer science. sports. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. however.net 77 . John Grinder. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. However. and interpersonal influence. management training. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. sales.
O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause
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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.
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P PAIN, PERCEPTION, PHOBIAS, PROSPERITY PAIN
Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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net 81 . He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. growth. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. occurrence. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success. red would probably not be the best color to use. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. fire. © Copyright 2003. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. use Yellow) money. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. think we are making progress or stagnating. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. You have the power to change your perception. Use it for minor headaches. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. health healing. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. Also. activity. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. Whether it makes us happy or sad. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. remember that red not only represents life force. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill.
but it is not a gift at all. Depending on the phobia. it can make your life almost unbearable. Once you have faced your phobia. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. this is how it works. Take control. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. Relief is truly immediate. Perception is a powerful thing. this power. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. You are then taken back to the phobia again. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. there will be no emotional response. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. By the time your therapist is done. Basically. control it and use it wisely.net 82 . The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. If you are suffering from a phobia. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. Sometimes. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. though. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. After you are put into a hypnotic state. © Copyright 2003. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. But the results tend to be permanent. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. It can be done in person and over the phone. you are ordered to let it go and release the image.
Marti. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. both written by Dr. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. In order to accomplish this. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. Frequently they are a result of fear. prosperity includes a rich. thinking and dreaming. happiness.net 83 . joyful and full life filled with love. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. however. Mollie W. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. fun. even fear of success. © Copyright 2003. it may be necessary to make some changes. fear of failure.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. money as well. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. and not just money or things. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and not just a lack of money or things. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Fear of change. you will enjoy them immensely. fulfillment and yes.
I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. Grand Unified Theory. because what was a mechanical. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world.net 84 . This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. taste. touch it. and hear it. external universe. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. smell. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. They exist within consciousness. as I started to research this a bit. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. standing as a physical world. hear. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. independent and apart from us. Superstring Theory. String Theory. Loop Quantum Gravity. Schroedinger’s Cat. M-Theory. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. We can see it. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. touch. solid. EPR Paradox. around us. in addition. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. However real and external these images may seem. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). Time. Quantum Gravity. instead. separate from us. © Copyright 2003. they are all phenomena within the mind. Unified Field Theory. not the other way around. the Copenhagen Interpretation. It appears undeniably to be out there. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. utterly real. in about three or four paragraphs! So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. In the dream it all seems very real. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. and tangible. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. however. space. Supersymmetry. Theory of Everything.
Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and there’s only one real way to do that. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. Cool. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.So.net 85 . huh? So. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition.
read on.R RELATIONSHIPS. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. RELEASING.net 86 . First. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. These two distinct types. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. In addition. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. congratulations. However. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. if you are not. possibly even throws things when angry. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. how they can come apart. It is the physical who yells. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. Unfortunately. © Copyright 2003. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. our behavior patterns. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. cries or screams when upset.
net 87 . She is happy. Next would be their children. For the physical. is quite a bit different. When his partner complains that they never see each other. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. Let’s cover very briefly. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. When I say E&P attraction. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. When they first meet. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. The emotional. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. After all. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. outgoing. So he starts spending more time at work. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. She on the other hand. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. But let’s look into the future several months. I really do mean attraction. Their first priority is their career.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. And that’s a good thing. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. then hobbies. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. longer hours at the office. his career. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. he cannot understand why. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. With the physical female. secure and © Copyright 2003. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. In relationships. the relationship is of primary importance to her. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. This is natural. To her partner it is his career. on the other hand. what the priorities of each are. And boy do they do relate.
RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. This is done through imagery and suggestion. When we are healthy and balanced. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Remember. Sometimes. © Copyright 2003. Plenty. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. With communication you can understand each other. What can be done about this. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. The process is quick. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. sadness. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose.net 88 . communication is key to any successful relationship. fear and guilt. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. though. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. Release anger. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. releasing occurs naturally. When you understand how the other thinks. to get clear on your goals for the future. Interestingly enough.
you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. hurt. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. and emotional states. If your subconscious is ready. unpredictability and lack of control. process and recall information. doubts. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. use your downloadable sessions first. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. anger. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. fears. physical. Negative expectations. That may been all you need at this time. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you.net 89 . body and emotions. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head.D. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. Both techniques are effective. positive thoughts. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. Ph.
allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Many rituals are quite simple. You wake up and your first thought might be. As you add them to your day. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. Think and say. You spend mental. to your computer. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night.net 90 . and in countless other interactions. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. “It’s gray and cloudy.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. It’s going to be a gloomy. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. As you spend energy during the day. reading a book. You give energy away to other people. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. make a choice to expect positive results. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. each and every day. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. build in ways to recoup your energy. For example.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. over the telephone. in and of © Copyright 2003. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. Rest is any activity.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. taking in a deep breathe. you are ready for it. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. boring day. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. Rather.
Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. you are less able to concentrate on your task. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. nervousness. When you carry negative emotions like fear. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. after working at your computer for an hour. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”.net 91 . you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. guilt. fatigue.itself. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. frustration. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. rhythmic breathing. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. which is pleasurable and restorative. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. and discarding the emotion. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. and anxiety. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. anger. Influence Management: Before any performance. You’ve © Copyright 2003. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. linking it with a unique physical action. After a 90-minute presentation. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. For example.
I image a red line on the floor. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. you might choose a banner. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. prior to a presentation or meeting. She chose a cloud as her focal point. works well. As you travel or perform in different locations. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. For example. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. I “turn on” my full engagement. © Copyright 2003. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. such as a doorframe. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments.net 92 . a piece of art. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. Before you perform. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. try to use the same type of focal point.simply applied a band-aid. Yet. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. “OK. . back to my task. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. If you are in your office or in a conference room. can be viewed as a distraction. This leads to a less than stellar performance. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. but when it came time to start. A tangible engagement cue. it also had drifted off. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. It immediately precedes the performance and says. Any time you get distracted. body and emotions that it is time to perform. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. If you travel. or a clock on the wall. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. even if it is a good thing. As I cross the line. consciously look at your focal point. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. .
She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. mediator. it won’t feel right. It will throw you off. successful entrepreneur. and working mother to help others design and live their best life.net 93 . they will provide great consistency.D.molliemarti. Ph. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success.com for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. happier. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. If you cannot identify your rituals. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. Visit her at www. performance coach. is President of Best Life Design. This means that if you get away from your rituals. lawyer. and healthier lives. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. As part of this process. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. concentration. Inc. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way.com or www. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. Mollie Marti. including caffeine and adrenaline. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. J. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. A close companion is the use of stimulants.. © Copyright 2003.. and success.D.bestlifedesign.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind. alcohol. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. better. and food as relaxation or coping techniques.
S SELF-CONFIDENCE, SELF-TALK, STRESS (INCLUDING DESRESS); STUCK SELF CONFIDENCE
Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.
It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.
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Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”
Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.
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Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems
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You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. causing irritability and nervousness. fish. chronic fatigue. Vitamin B6. mustard greens. cabbage. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. Almonds. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. blood sugar fluctuations. seafood.net 97 . Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. broccoli. asparagus. © Copyright 2003. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. worry. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. bananas. garlic. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. impatience. Calcium rich foods are almonds. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. depression.to be one of the first things that goes. depression. Unfortunately. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. irritability. leafy vegetables. irritability. apples. kelp. fear. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. Vitamin B12. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. oats. exhaustion. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. sesame seeds. moodiness and nervousness. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Calcium. etc. prunes. salmon. You need eat more avocados. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. such as hormonal imbalances. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. brown rice. apricots. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. kale. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically.
Squeeze a squishy ball. oatmeal. Kiss.” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. Sing. I know mine always have been). to work away your tension. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves.com © Copyright 2003. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses.naturalcounselor. Call a friend. mushrooms. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. tuna and whole grains. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. a founder of NaturalCounselor. such as a squishy ball. dates. insomnia or lack of energy. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. root vegetables (such as potatoes. In addition. you must relax. Start squeezing something. but if something happens to us. carrots and turnips). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. brown rice. our family? So let us be stress smart. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www.com who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite.net 98 . green leafy vegetables. our cortisol levels drop. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. barley.Folic acid. legumes. oranges. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. salmon. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. Walk. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. who will take care of our children. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Bottom line though. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. mood swings. nobody will. though. lentils.
It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. I know I have. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. If you wake up today affirming an illness. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. a feeling. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. Energy is constantly in motion. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. If you understand that. According to the laws of physics. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. If you wake up today focusing on debt. because you cannot stand still. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. I used to feel that way often. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in.net 99 . You think about the future and you tighten up even more. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. For example. but to the energy of the present moment. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. if you are having a problem with money.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. You don’t have to create change. In a pilot study published in 1999. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. really. And. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. Patients who suffer from panic attacks.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. our results suggest. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately.D. It is only important that it does. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. the truth is. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions.” Ginandes says. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing.” So.. and elastic. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. Ph. it doesn’t matter why it works. © Copyright 2003. You need to make room for change. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. In a follow-up experiment published last year. meanwhile. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. Hypnosis. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background.net 100 .D.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. Pain sufferers. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. for most people. for example. During the sessions. smooth.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. can influence the body to heal itself. Ph. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck.
the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. When you have determined the directions of past and future. Remember. the more you focus on old negative thoughts.net 101 . Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. for you happiness and your abundance. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. Remember. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Take responsibility for your life and direction. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. look down on the Time Line. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. If it’s behind you. to the left or to the right. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. your love and your joy. There is no correct answers. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take your time with this. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. © Copyright 2003. it is what feels best for you. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future.
It can look that way to others. Without getting specific about each of them. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. You procrastinated. bad things just happen. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. I’d like you to consider another alternative. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. You need them to tell you to be strong. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. you stuck by the wrong person. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. you made a mistake. even if they cannot give it back. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. © Copyright 2003. It might not have looked that way to others. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger.net 102 . Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes what you need. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love.
You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. 85. VICTIMHOOD. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. Spirituality. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. another may practice Hinduism. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. you need to define what it is you want. © Copyright 2003.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. First. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. whatever feels right. For example. Picture yourself at age 80. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. 90.net 103 . Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few moments. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. while another may be a Wiccan. etc. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.
NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. © Copyright 2003. Something very unpleasant. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. is you. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. or even the perceptions of our family. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you.Now think back over your life. you will certainly feel violated. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. What value areas of your life are you happy with. You might get angry. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. friends. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. then you’ve got a problem. What you might think is wrong. Remember. However. If it is what you believe. then your perception makes it right. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Perhaps you are abused.net 104 . can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. What areas cause you regret. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. Figure it out early. are you really meant to be together. Think about all the value areas of your life. mugged or even raped. church and society. but not only that. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim.
And. my wife doesn’t understand me.S. for what you do and what you say. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. etc. Here in the U. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life.. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. however. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship.. my husband ignores me. my mother didn’t understand me. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. it means you are not responsible for anything.I want you to consider something. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction.net 105 . It wasn’t fun. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. etc. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. my mother didn’t give me enough love. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. Life. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. etc.” But. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. But now. But just take a moment now and really think about it. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. happiness and joy available to each of us. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. and society actually encourages this thought. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. my kids don’t show me any respect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. my friends don’t understand me. A rather sad.
VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. can often help the other. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. You had to be strong. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. each of us. The woman who has come out of a nasty. please. If we take back control. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. Fixing a problem in one place though. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. 2006. we lose everything. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. If that is taken away from us . the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been.net 106 . September 26. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. As stated in Woman’s World.who you are. build self-confidence. Simply. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. eventually. is powerful beyond belief. beautiful heart and so much love to give. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. Remember.. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. bad relationship and can keep on going.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. For example. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. it is the ability to enjoy life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. never © Copyright 2003. etc. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. etc. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. boost your mood. feel more loved.
Use the power of your mind. can change how your feel. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. increase your self-confidence. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. So. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. depressed or negative. your imagination. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. If you are feeling down. relieve pain. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.net 107 .practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. Is essence.
4. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003.) 3. bleached flour. diet and weight. refined. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. scientists. First one. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. it’s good again. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. WORDS.W WEIGHT. included six small meals a day. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse.e. however. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. etc. Confusing. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. the only diet that had ever worked for them. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 5. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light.. Not only that. If.net 108 . you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. before facts have actually been verified. The truth is. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. alcohol.
what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14.net 109 . 7.6. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Has your mother. 17. 9. © Copyright 2003. Out of all the food you eat in a day. 20. 10. 19. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. 18. Do you eat breakfast? 15. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Do you associate a person. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. 8.
causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. a lack of fulfillment. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. having said all that. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. satisfaction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. survivors. You know © Copyright 2003. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. by working it. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. More often than not. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength.net 110 . It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. confidence and happiness. We heal from physical injuries. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack.Now. You had to be strong. self-confidence. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. you know that as strange as it may sound. WRONG! Words have power. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. they include abandonment issues. Abuse victims.
I have to say this. scream and yell and swear all you want. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. find out what you can do. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. Vent when you are alone. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child. Think and dream about your future. The same holds true for what you hear. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. keep your thoughts strong. Also. wife. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. But most of all. husband. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. This is why “words” do have so much power. But when you are with someone you care about. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. And for each of us. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. throughout your life entire life. words can hurt you. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. Once said they are out there forever. this planet needs you. Your life depends on it After all. Make some calls. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. wider and stronger each and every day. dreams and desires. call out for help. As a matter of fact. lover. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. But you are wrong. but not only that. your talent. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in.because I say it over and over again. When this occurs. someone will answer. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. And that’s what venting to another is. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby.net 111 . intelligence and compassion. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events.
However. when things are going smoothly. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. or.withdraw into ourselves. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. especially in interpersonal situations. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. If you can do this. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. Releasing sessions can work well with these. much like arthritis in wet weather. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. can help. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free.net 112 . If you do not feel ready for that. © Copyright 2003.
what is different and better. What do you look like. Make a promise to yourself. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. clear and easy breathing. Of these two possible futures in your life. Notice how you feel. © Copyright 2003. vital. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. energy. very clearly. And now let those images fade completely away. you have a decision to make.net 113 . your energy will flow in that direction. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. Make a commitment and a decision. healthy. the decision becomes easy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. Whatever it is. When you have done this. binger or whatever. DRINKER. Once you decide that you want to quit. Notice what you see. drinking.X X SMOKER. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. doesn’t it?. Wait 10-20 seconds. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. BINGER ETC. vibrant. drinker. Before you make that decision. You have the opportunity to see a different future. You can choose to live your life. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Wait 10-20 seconds. the body you want. clear skin. are you now sure which one you want. strong.
you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. For instance. happiness. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. joy. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. a better job. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. you always have a choice.com. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. you can only lift a small amount of weight. Everything in life is a choice. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. your entire belief system. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. In making a choice. your life script. Compare it to strength training. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. success. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. it does not mean you will receive it. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. When you first begin to work your muscles.Y YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.net 114 . YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. you may never receive it. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. So.
According to Holly. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. © Copyright 2003. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. check it regularly.hollygleason. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed.net 115 . the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. check it out at www. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. looking around.com To me. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about.
cause.net 116 . fight for your dreams and your goals. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. intensity and passion. please do it with zeal and without apathy. cause. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. An antonym is apathy. And always remember this. or ideal and the determination to further that person. or ideal. it means a diligent enthusiasm.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor.
The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. To make this even more effective. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point.net 117 . ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times.” “gamut spot. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. While you are doing these three karate chops.” and the “sore spot. You can also visualize this word in your mind. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. © Copyright 2003. There are 15 points. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal.
It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. anxiety.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. or AFRAID.net 118 . 3. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 2. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. 5. 4. fear. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. 9. 6.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. This is not a sentence. 7. or anything you want changed. 11. 12. but do each issue separately. Do what feels right for you. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. 10. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points.” © Copyright 2003. you can use just one or two words. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 8. You can go through the tapping process several times. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. or DEPRESSED. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping.
” And that’s all there is to it. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. By burning away all anger and negativity. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. As you do this. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. emotions. ideas and beliefs within yourself. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. your connection with yourself is complete.net 119 . uncross your arms and legs. And as your heart fire increases. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. you open all pathways to love. you also release all negative thoughts. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. hurt. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. feelings. I love myself. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. resentment or negativity away. And as your heart fire increases. © Copyright 2003.
PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out.. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. taking this time right now for myself. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. Take yourself fully into this place. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. heal yourself and relax yourself. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. anyplace.e. smell the salt. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. weeks. allow that color to flow in and out as well. Then when you are ready. at the beach. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. hours. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. If you feel like it and have the time. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. see the image). stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. If another color comes to mind. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. Then imagine or visualize white granules.net 120 . just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. cleansing breath in and let it out. smell it. months or even years to be released. hear it (i. like salt. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. See it. hear the waves and the birds. days. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4…….
Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself.net 121 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are in control and in charge of your body. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. yourself. my guy and I are in love. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. relationship. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. Here’s my snapshot. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. activity. Let go of all tightness within you. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. or whatever it is your desire. You are in charge of your healing and your life. © Copyright 2003. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. happy and having fun together. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. thoughts and feelings. emotions.
© Copyright 2003. I say to myself RANCH. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away.net 122 . I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. live in the moment and dream in the future. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I vibrate with positive energy. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. positive delightful reality. With my thoughts I create my new. I keep saying ranch until that image. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. I choose to forget past mistakes now. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. My life is becoming more joyful on every level.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch.
. 123........ 45...... 78. 60........... 24 eating disorders. 116 disease... 45..... 47. 21.......... 76 desire.. 22.... 35. 34................ 114. 20.......... 90.. 129 food addictions......... 60.. 78 affirmations. 101.. 8............ 47.... 128 anxiety 7..... 74. 36.... 67... 47. 32... 53...2............Index 12-step programs ........ 4. 97. 32.. 7...5... 92. 6... 6. 58.1. 79 cancer.. 119 confidence.. 37.... 72.30. 104. 122 chronic anger ....... 129. 12. 56... 20....... 23... 115... 2........... 47.... 41.. 128... 43........ 32....86 addict ..... 114... 39....... 32......... 36.... 114...... 26.. 35......... 44.... 131 dreams 22.. 35... 107 Cheryl O’Neil .... 129 diet . 26.............. 79.... 10. 101. 66. 81.. 38..... 31..... 121.... 38........ 89 balance ...... 121.. 106.... 45..... 118 consciousness 8...... 3... 76. 94 baggage.7. 27... 33..... 6............... 6... 37. 125 energy .. 104. 93................. 110...... 110 communication ........ 36.121 blood sugar .. . 12 Elvira Lang ... 106... 74. 35. 21. 121 drug abuse.......... 25. 42.... 64............ 105.. 84... 88.. 130 apprehension.. 7... 46....... 94.... 78 forgiveness... 76..... 3 addiction . 60. 43... Ph...........125 anger .... 35.............. 118 acute pain...1........3.. 22..5........ 126.............. 22.... 52.... 89...... 71....... 96......7.. 78 chronic pain . 75....24.. 112 compassion ... 71. 44. 102. 55. 78 E&P attraction ..... 4. 21. 79 Carol Ginandes.. 77.... 57................ 95. 94... 97.... 55 Dawn Abraham . 7 attraction ...... 63.. 28... 55 emotional freedom technique .... 60. 23. 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma. 76. 113. 27.. 125. 5. 48.... 42...... 2.. 19..107 abuse 5......... 44...9....... 78.. 36.... 71..... 91. 80.. 52. 46...........2. 46...... 114. 29. 70.... 90 coronary disease..... 14. 96. 30... 94.. 76........ 77........ 127. 6.......... 55........ 79.... 58..... 127......... 43............ 35.. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ..54 association . 109. 24... 1.........86 Circle Therapy ... 104.. 37... 97....... 16. 103..... 117..D.. 95......... 102.............. 19....... 81... 43... 94.. 94. 71.. 116 Bereavement ......... 21..... 78... 70. 38. 15.. 83.... 3. 5.....24..... 53.D........... 81.. 36....... 5.. 124 drinking..... 7........ 81....2.... 50. 97.. 60... 30 Eric Butterworth ...... 129 alcoholism... 38........ 114..... 8. 32.. 73. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att... 63... 5. 79 dream 1..... 48. 94....... 6.. 106.... 89.....5. 21 David Spiegel...... 21. 6..... 57.58 choice2.. 119..... 59.. 95 © Copyright 2003...... 103....... 86....30 anchor ........ 126 adrenalin .. 77.......... 46............net i . 130 epilepsy . 112....... 62....... 41. 104. 4.... 50..... 95.................... 54..... 88..... 104..................... 78 cortisol . 30........2.. 63. 6... 37. 126.. 73 depression .... 21....... 58...... 119.... 127..38... 78. 116............... 91.... 33...... 44...... 24.. 97.. 26. 81. 9......... 37........ 36........... 90.. 32.. 98.....5.. 37... 31....53.. 99............. 98. 5. 6.. 78. 31.... 23.. 122. 28.............. Ph.. 84. 27. 102....... 89......... 39... 78 alternative programs .... 35.... 113 Abraham Hicks .... 45.. 89 fear 1.. 61. 52. 65. 44.21 Arreed Barabasz .. 5.... 37.... 78... 105 darkest hour ........... 79........88 clarity 9. 87... 10 binging ...... 18. 78 EFT ... 21..... 97... 103. 22. 50............. 63. 109. 56........8 Adrian Calabrese...... 10..... 130 focus..... 80. 25.. 54. 94.. 44..... 3 Alzheimer’s .... 27..... 21. 35. 38. 74... 52.... 42............. 72.. 96.... 44. 7........... ....
............ 125. 95. 87.. 109. 78 NLP.. 54........ 8. 37.. 19. 58..... 29............ 109... 47...... 101. 110.... 10..35 goal ......... 25.... 118.. 77.......24..... Woods ........ 128.37. 30.. 83 Roger Callahan .... 89..... 32.............. 58...... 93 message units ... 53........ 71 life force........... 107........... 107... 37...... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice........... 113.. 113....... 67......... 30.. 84.......... 88............ 10........ 64. 56. 93..........5........ 79.... 37.................. 77... 86...... 103.......... 53....40.. 21....... 39. 38. 9.. 43........ 7....... 35. 58............36 joy ... 17 Janet Luhrs...... 10............76 Hridaya Yoga.. 27...... 56..... 13.... 118 self-talk ....... 56.... 129 resentment. 45.. 57. 79... 79......... 123........ 59...7.... 58..... 43..... 113 prosperity .... 85.10..54 Irina Wardas .. 67...........28 John Grinder ........ 87...2....... 76....8 hypnosis .. 67........... 56 hurt... 47........... 125 men ...... 87....... 59. 120........... 115....... 83...... 43..... 81.. 6............ 77...... 78... 75. 16......... 58.. 87 lose weight 4.........32 illness 36... 122...... 83 Robert Dilts.. 6. 21..... 50. 37....... 31......... 37.. 112......... 7. 110. 78.. 55.. 27..... 30 passive-aggressive ... 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.. 92... 103. 43.32 hypnotherapy . 23........ 117 medicine... 14................... 3....... 110............... 42.. 34.. 6......1................ 38....... 116 happiness .. 37...... 59.............. 89..... 52.....11.... 130 Judith DeLozier ................ 115... 49... 94.. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .... 107 healing .. 65......... 6...... 5..... 34. 32 phobia ... 54.... 54. 47. 115 smoking. 129 grief... 22.. 37 powerless .............. 21.. 35.. 53........... 121 relationships24. 78... 5............ 57........... 47.fulfillment . 102....... 66. 26...... 42..... 54... 30.... 119.... 7. 78. 46....... 107..... 95... 118.... 30..... 59........ 5.... 8.... 77.......... 125 immune suppression .. 58.... 6 Pat Dennis.. 111.. 94 mood swings ......... 128 Richard Bandler .. 74........ 15........... 83 nitric oxide ....... 42.... 101.......... 129 heart disease..net ii . 38... 117...... 86......... 101 self-image ...83 Law of Attraction...... 78.... 120........ 44.... 121 snapshot ... 108 Parkinson’s disease.. 1.. 50......... 58....... 22............. 94.... 56... 32..... 47.....30 high blood pressure. 78. 109.......... 99........ 10...... 59. 43.. 28.... 43... 53................. 4... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003......... 127 hypersuggestible . 118.. 54.... 60........ 64.. 114 imagery ..... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ............12 habit .... 76...... 53.. 127... 77. 44.. 105. 78. 57...... 36 Guilt ........ 65..... 119..... 57.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..... 22............... 118 Gary Craig ................. 2... 36............. 28. 53............ 60.. 63.83 John Kappas.......7... 89 phobias. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ... 77........ 29.10. 37...3.. 127..8.... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ............ 51.. 57 neural interconnections .. 40... 99...........5.... 122 Ida Kendall .... 36.10.. 83 overload .... 22... 39. 63... 6......... 6... 9... 22... 58... 69.. 29 neuro pathways ... 78. 105 Jane C.... 88....... 77. 15.. 77.. 122 Harvard . 79............... 57. 56. 79.. 26....... 37 self-esteem . 109.. 32... 79. 13........ 86 habits. 39.. 5.......... 35......... 86. 46... 77.... 120 relaxation ..... 77...9.. 21.. 84 panic attacks.. 89.... 116. 33.9.. 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ... 79............... 114............ 57. 47....... 10........... 37........84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ..... 76.....................24 Journal of Clinical Psychology.. 32..... 78.
.... 30. 7......... 121 value areas of life...................... 45.............. 6.......... 122............. 34. 56. 58... 26...... 39....... 8........ 120 suicide. 43..... 77............. 22.. 59.... 5.............. 77...... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..............28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .... 112.. 128 subconsciously.......... 60.....5......... 91... 37.Stephen Gilligan . 47........107 trigger... 114 weight .......... 65.. 107.................... 44......... 34............ 37.................... 5........83 Stephen Kosslyn ........... 84..... 109..... 120 yummy list .......... 116 Women.... 78........57 stress hormones ........ 21.. 6... 85....... 6. 78 subconscious.......... 37..... 111 victimhood .... 7... 38. 79............................ 48..... 125.. 114 triggering event ..... 109.............. 30.... 59......... 79 thought habits ... 95................... 77. 114 visualization...... 57................ 101..6... 122 zeal......... 95.... 29....44........ 115....... 46... 85............. 80...net iii ............ 75......4.... 94.. 36..53 transformation.... 106 wounds . 109 triggers . 2................ 10.......... 77...... 124 © Copyright 2003.... 78.... 113... 118.. 110 Two Futures ......... 47...