An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. when given the proper instructions.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. feelings. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. neuro pathways. I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. As I said before. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. . and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. emotions and perceptions.

......................................15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...................................................................................................... C........................................................................................... D...... AFFIRMATIONS................ FEAR...................................... F.............3 ANGER ...........1 ABUNDANCE ............................................................................18 COMMUNICATION ............................ .7 BALANCE.........................................................8 CHANGE....26 DEPRESSION .....26 DIETING .....5 ANXIETY ...........43 GOALS ............................35 FABULOUS........................ FOCUS................37 FABULOUS ..................................................................... ANGER.........................................................................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS......................... COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE............................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).....................46 SMART GOALS ..................................................................................34 ENERGY .................................. BEREAVEMENT ........... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ..............40 FOCUS ..............................................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE).. FORGIVENESS........................................................................................ ENERGY ......................................................................................................................................TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE...........1 ADDICTION ................ EMOTIONS........8 BALANCE ....................32 EMOTIONS.......42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ...... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE.................................. DRUGS TO ESCAPE ....................................................21 DEPRESSION.................................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS........ E............................... G..................................................................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE ...............................................37 FEAR ................................................................................................... DIETING...............46 B......................................... ANXIETY........................................... ADDICTION...................8 BEREAVEMENT ................................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS .................................................................

..................56 JEALOUSY .......51 HYPNOSIS.....83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING ......... PROSPERITY ...........73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)............ PHOBIAS.........................................69 MALE DEPRESSION...........................................49 HEART FIRE ........ K........65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ........................................63 KISMET ............................... M.................54 INTUITION....................................78 PAIN.............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................82 PROSPERITY ........................... HYPNOSIS...............70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION..........................................68 LUCK ..................... MIND-BODY CONNECTION....................80 PERCEPTION ..................................72 MIND SUCCESS ................65 LIFE................................................... N...52 IMAGERY...............................59 JEALOUSY....................................................................................................................................... P......49 HEALING ........................................................81 PHOBIAS ...............70 MALE DEPRESSION................................................................................ HEALING.....................54 IMAGERY.......... LOVE...................................................................................................... INTUITION..................... .........................................67 LOVE.................................... J...................... MIND SUCCESS .. KISMET ...............................................................................................................63 KARMA ............................................................................................78 OVERLOADED LIFE .................................H....................................... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS...............84 I............. LUCK .......................77 OVERLOAD................................................. Q...63 LAW OF ATTRACTION......................................................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .......... O.... LIFE......................................................................................................................................................................................59 KARMA....... HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)............... PERCEPTION...80 PAIN.......................... L..............................................

..............94 SELF-TALK..........102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE.......................122 INDEX ...................................................... Y................................... STUCK ...................................... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS)...........................................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ............ YUMMY LIST ................................106 WEIGHT.............111 X SMOKER............................................. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS.. V.......................114 ZEAL ......................................................................103 VICTIMHOOD ..........94 SELF CONFIDENCE............................................................................................................. BINGER ETC ... WORDS....................................................................................... T...................................94 STRESS ......................... i..........................................113 TWO FUTURES ..........................86 RELEASING .................. WOUNDS .....................................................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ............................... VICTIMHOOD........................ Z........99 TIMELINE THERAPY ..................................................................................114 YUMMY LIST ....................................................................................................... SELF-TALK....................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ..................... U...110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS)................89 SELF-CONFIDENCE.....96 STUCK .... ii............................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT.117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS.......... X...................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY .................................................... VISUALIZATION......................................................R.................................................................................................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE............103 VALUE AREAS..............108 WEIGHT ....... iii ............................ DRINKER.........104 VISUALIZATION .......................................................................................116 S........ RELATIONSHIPS................................ W......................................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE................................................ RELEASING............108 WORDS................................................................................................................................................................................................ EXERCISES ..

Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. The future. fear of failure. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come 1 . money and success. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. ANGER. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. As a result. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. excitement and yes. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing. even worse. AFFIRMATIONS. ADDICTION. © Copyright 2003. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. incident. Fear of change. it is filled with laughter. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. love. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. satisfying. occurrence. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. a life that is rich and full. think we are making progress or stagnating. It is our perception of any event. indeed. In order to make changes. usually as a result of fear. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. we don’t trust it to be real. fear of success. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. Because of this.A ABUNDANCE. however. Even when we know we have this tool. having an abundant life means you are living a rich.

alcohol. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through 2 . it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. the more connected you feel. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. at least for a while.. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. It is important though. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. however. i. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain. the more vibrant and alive you become. however. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. you do have a choice. Allow that desire to flow through you. People without strong desires slowly whither away. at least while they are using their drug. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. Unfortunately. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. and life just gets better and better. which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. no matter what program you are going through. Your first step. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. helps them suppress the pain. A tempo that is magnetic. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. who you can call when you feel you might slip. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. cocaine. so. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. Do something regularly and you develop a habit.e.

the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight www. However.passagesmalibu. though. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. then you. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use. When you face this pain that you have been running 3 . the addict.time and make the effort to heal that initial www. I agree with this school of thought. www. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. if it is not done.habitdoc. Many people. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.practicalrecovery. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. The sooner we realize and accept that. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been www. but you don’t have to. you will forever remain an addict. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed. so. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. A friend of mine once told me. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict.

• State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. Always create an image of what you want in your life.” the message sent to your mind. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. © Copyright 2003. If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. If necessary. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. When you do this. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. then that means you are on the right track. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. always focus on what you want to move towards. the steering wheel of your car. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. Don’t let fear hold you back. • Always remember this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want.” Or say. not what you want to avoid. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for 4 . your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. when what you really mean is. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. • Be specific. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts.” • State your affirmations in the positive.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have. that’s like moving uphill. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress. So.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. your computer. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them.” Or “I will lose weight. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. When you move towards what you want. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want.

The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. and heart palpitations. can lead to serious food addictions. looking for justice and revenge. When a relationship ends. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. eating disorders. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. anger is the most common response. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. it can be just as damaging. crying. In addition. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. going from one trauma to the next. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. But some people seem to be angry all the time. If you see yourself as a victim. but the damage done to others can take years to heal. then anger becomes a serious health risk. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. you may blame others for your situation or condition. drug abuse and depression. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Holding onto anger. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. you may see yourself as an avenger. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. shaking. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. So. resentment. cold hands. When this is the case. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. 5 . hostility. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. alcoholism.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. Even if we bury anger deep inside. In situations that cause fear. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. along with mourning. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. hurt. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Not only is this destructive to you. and in small doses can be a good thing. If you don’t see yourself as a victim.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. and can lead to serious food addictions. fear and hurt. coronary disease. alcohol and drug abuse. expressing your anger in an indirect way. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. © Copyright 2003. it will never go away. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. and can help make you more content. and stubborn. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your 6 . People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. Remember. you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. In the past. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. sarcastic. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. If you feel powerless. Unfortunately. bitterness. you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. and depression. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. Also. The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. but anger that may be directed at you by others. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. releasing your anger. suicide. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. Power and anger are frequently related. and even increased workplace injuries. however. cancer.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. fear or anxiety. fear or anxiety. The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. © Copyright 7 . weakness. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. anxiety. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. mood swings. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. shakiness.). Fears. Also. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or suggestibility. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. being home alone. driving a car. flying. nausea.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. etc.

B BALANCE. I told him the usual stuff. No one can tell you how to be happy. Just think about that a moment. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. No matter what you hear. Good advice. that happiness must come from within ourselves. you know. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. right? Yes and no. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. then it would make him happy as well. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. a perfect balance. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. Twelve hours of day and night. then he’d really truly be happy. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are. Happiness. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. There isn’t another person. getting involved with a church. let them be a reminder to look inside. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. Sometimes we need reminders. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar 8 . So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it didn’t work. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. place or thing that can make you happy. The problem was.

you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. feeling. our voice. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. They allow you to clear out the old. BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. and in doing so. No matter how hard we may try. happiness. stop thinking it to death. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. But even more than that. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. Whether it’s an emotion. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. working for you. desire. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. goal. lover. to balance the light and dark within yourself. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything else. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003. if we are angry. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable sessions. Woods. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are able to access your subconscious. helping you to get yourself out of your own way.” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. In this state. the right kind of suggestions. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. job or whatever you are 9 . That means stop analyzing everything so much. fulfillment and life find you. It will. even the words we use.

To a degree that can be true. and so on. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. It is an immutable part of the human condition. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. and generally we prefer not to think about it. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. © Copyright 2003. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it again. Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually 10 . that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. That said. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. However. letting relevant people know.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved. for example. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. just a little. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. you must do what is right for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.the intensity and duration may differ.

We may need evidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. when they are breaking bad news to patients. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. For example. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. uncaring. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. Often that is enough. Help them tell you their feelings. we may be compelled to visit the 11 . punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. disconcertingly. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. is a refusal to believe the news. once the first shock waves have abated. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. or for feeling angry.Denial A second common response. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. we may need to be told several times. “If I do this. or those suffering alongside us. a normal response. and just plain wrong. This is where someone less involved can offer help. recognizing it and naming it. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. It is unrealistic but again. © Copyright 2003. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. Some enlightened doctors know.

Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. I have lost someone significant in my life’. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with depression. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. was decreed. For example. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. even perhaps depressed. Once it is written you may decide just to burn 12 . To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. when our behaviour. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. just let it go. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. and even our clothing. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. how to manage our grief. like fundraising for a particular charity. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. You cannot short circuit this process. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death.

© Copyright 2003. such as excessive use of alcohol. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. be it with a handshake or a hug. which can be a comfort. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. in this phase. You may find.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. we begin to move on. People want to help but they often don’t know how. This does not mean forgetting them. It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. If you need a hug. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the person. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. Experiment At some 13 . the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. feeling there is no point. not in any sense. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ask them. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. we experiment with new ways of behaving. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. However hard it is. Let close friends offer you comfort. and this will of course vary from person to person. So. you never go right back to the beginning. But actually. however it feels.

I hope it has been helpful however. ritual can be helpful at this time. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. Knowing this can help you plan for it. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and mourning. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. Helping In Western culture. Again. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. Literally. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your 14 . Of course. or an offer of help with the shopping. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. be it taking some homemade food round. If you can. so we need to use our discretion. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending. surrounded by people. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’.” © Copyright 2003. whether for you personally. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. take medical advice. a card sincerely written. taking flowers to an appropriate place. as I have said. be it lighting candle.

even depressed. depending on the severity of the change. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Woods. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to make. Sometimes. Finally. we can get very fed up. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. How to Cope with Change By Jane C. depending on the In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. some anecdotal.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. jane@changingpeople. Sometimes. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. some research based. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. almost no one likes it. The Stages of Change © Copyright by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. Just remember this. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it.C 15 . This phase goes on for ages or not too long. and some simply telling you how to do it. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly.

the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. Finding they are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. A Story Here is a short story about change. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. You are speechless at first. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. However. © Copyright 2003. Worse. You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. You are feeling bright and 16 . but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. It may ring a bell with you. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on holiday. “What?” you say. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. 17 . The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. did it make you sad.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. joy of joys. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below.. vulnerable. So. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. For example. don’t just focus on the negatives. Use two different colours if you like. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change.. That is a fact to record on the top line. For example. yes. no one but you is going to see this. This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. and.But then. or determined to make more effort. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change.

Sometimes. our responses to change are individual and personal. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. and therefore our feelings. However. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. For example. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with it. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. are funny things. no one makes us feel anything. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. Similarly with our responses to change. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. One may approach it in a positive way. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. our thoughts. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. while another may be much more fatalistic. overloaded message units and repressed fears. © Copyright 2003. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. Then. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. Dawns. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. They begin almost 18 . you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. another to frown and feel aggrieved. however. At first. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. Actually. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. The same principle applies to you. Obviously. as the dawn progresses. But as the sun rises.

comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. confused or fearful. apprehension and fear. Ultimately. Unfortunately. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven 19 . A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. you start to believe it yourself. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. but will actually consider them an order. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. even our physical health and well being. given enough time and repetition. inept. When this happens. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. you are in essence training your mind. see the right path. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units. Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. Giving you the feeling of freedom. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. you do not need to feel this way. we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. need or want. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. © Copyright 2003. clumsy. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals.anxiety and emotions. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). relaxation. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. confidence. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. For example. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. If you are starting to feel anxious. remember “dawn” can and will happen. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. however. Be absolutely clear about what you want. detailed imprint of what you desire. If you hear over and over that you are stupid.

by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. Trust that the Universe has. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. As Abraham Lincoln once said. If you want a New Beginning. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. want and desire. in addition. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. mold them and do it over and over again. Know that no matter what things might look like. You will feel stronger. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. Guide them. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. it is a journey. you are actually living the life you want. abundance. confidence and trust. It does make a difference. with clarity. realizing all the possibilities available to you. It’s the life in your years. yoga. How did they get this way? Transcendental 20 . then the real fun can start. you need to be aware. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust.” So live your life fully. does and will continue to offer you what you need. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller.achieving prosperity. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap. all of your life. you always have a choice.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. so. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality.

They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our birthright. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships. our answers are all around us. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. engage and listen. It is important not to go looking for your sign. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The problem is that we communicate differently. yellow balloon. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. courage. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. © Copyright 2003. look and listen.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best 21 . dolphins . After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses.knowing. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. I truly believe that faith. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer.

It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. screams. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. An example would be. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. among other things.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. It is the physical who yells. the way we communicate with each other. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. In relationships. it isn’t. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. cries. Communication. These two types. possibly even throws things when angry. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and how natural and normal this is. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. if you ask a physical if they are cold. however. whatever when upset. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. how they can come apart. is so much more than simple questions. © Copyright 2003. they will answer yes or no. So. opposites really do attract. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. 22 . enjoys spur of the moment activities. people don’t realize just how true this is. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. but E&P affects.

Remember though. It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Conversely. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. Words have power. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them. If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. they can ruin lives. the more the physical pushes. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. You had to be strong. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on 23 . Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. It becomes a vicious circle. This E&P communication. you can see how this could be problematic.The same thing occurs when communicating. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. however is just one part of communication. Since we tend to project our thoughts. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. © Copyright 2003. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. We heal from physical injuries. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. self-confidence. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Also.

The second step is to take control of your thoughts. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. find out what you can do. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. You know because I say it over and over again. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. The same holds true for what you hear. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Also. throughout your life entire life. this planet needs you. dreams and desires. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. But you are wrong. intelligence and compassion. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. but not only that. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. Make some calls. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. As a matter of fact. beautiful heart and so much love to give. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. call out for help. Your life depends on it After all. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. someone will answer. bad relationship and can keep on going.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. most enjoyable and fastest way to do 24 . © Copyright 2003. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. each of us. your talent. keep your thoughts strong. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. is powerful beyond belief. wider and stronger each and every day. Think and dream about your future. The woman who has come out of a nasty. by working it. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. This is why “words” do have so much power. leave. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. But most of all. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control.

please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. And that’s really what venting to another person is. words can destroy you.Each of us. wife. © Copyright 2003. scream and yell and swear all you want. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. NewBeginnings 25 . husband. our child. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. words can hurt you. Once said they are out there forever. Vent when you are alone. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. But when you are with someone you care about.

DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. depression.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. Jill Ammon-Wexler. As research continues in this area. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves…. anger or a sense of helplessness and 26 . researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. DIETING. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. thought patterns and thought habits. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. but in essence they are just like any other habit. According to Dr. suicidal feelings. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. and just like any other is created. AND -. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. if this work fulfills its potential. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. © Copyright 2003. According to Dr. however. if we want to. In addition. In fact. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. conditions and illnesses. patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup.D DEPRESSION. Miller goes on to stress. it is important to cultivate a sense of is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons . yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. No one is born with such a brain -. Researchers like Dr.even into very advanced old age. Dr. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. we can take control of our thoughts and change them.

it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. what we say to ourselves. Think about that a moment. etc. This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. even more importantly. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. “disappointed in my relationships”. “unhappy”. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. I just want to be happy. © Copyright 2003. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory 27 . What it does understand. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. those interconnections then expand and strengthen.use it or lose it. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. What we think. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong. though.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your thoughts. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. I don’t want to be around negative people. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. healthy muscles. fulfilled life.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. This is hugely important! All our thoughts.

epilepsy. Parkinson’s disease.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Ph. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone).” observes Dr. Reflect on the positive. Woman’s World. Fixing one problem can often help the other. Take responsibility for your thoughts. Pay attention to what you are thinking. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. is originating on a deeper. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003.D. it will continue to go on. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Bruce Cohen. heart disease.. 2005. Massachusetts. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar symptoms. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. reflect on the contrary. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. 100 times more. When there is negative thinking. When you can take a truth and internalize it. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. subconscious level. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts. including cancer. You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. on a subconscious level. So. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. with the aid of hypnosis. October 18. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately 28 . whether it is physical or emotional. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed.

we just don’t want to do it. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). they are fat and unattractive! Hey. test or theory. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. Chocolate was bad for you. And throughout all of it. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. but in addition. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. The first diet included six small meals a day. and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. it seems as if all the doctors. and of course. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. © Copyright 2003. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. sometimes to death. people. First we were told that fat. according to the New York Times. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. now again we are hearing. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. especially our young women. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. 29 . any kind of fat. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). When most of us think about diet and weight. and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. diet and weight. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. never a comparison with all the other studies. then we were told maybe it isn’t.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. is bad for you. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. especially in the United States. Part of one study. The truth is. particularly among our young people. the second diet was only three meals a day. we are really only getting part of the story. and these are serious issues indeed.

Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. © Copyright 2003. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. As they discuss and teach in this workshop.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. and getting the right kind of support and advice. just how can we overcome these physical cravings. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. confidence or happiness. In fact. As we live our lives. Just as with any 30 . we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right now. Knowledge is indeed power. It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. weight issues are rarely just about weight. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. both emotional and physical. With the internet available to all of us. it can include abandonment issues. Releasing negative thoughts. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. a lack of fulfillment. satisfaction. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly. by taking control of our thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. one of the first things I tell them is.

you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. in fact. If you don’t like it. Look at yourself. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. what does your world look like. So wonderful. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems.Knowledge. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. take control of your thoughts and change your life. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. though just an 31 . This is. what do you think about. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. I keep going back to this one phrase. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things.. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original observe how you feel. fear. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. You can continue the work on your own. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. © Copyright 2003. that we keep going back to it. what do you see. though is not just about external fact. i.

proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. has no value of its own. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. ENERGY. but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. including 32 . depression.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). addictions and phobias. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. posttraumatic stress disorder. any negative experience. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. © Copyright 2003. EMOTIONS. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. general stress. As I’ve written before. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. Not a hypothetical path. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. a negative experience itself. anger. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. fear. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy.

In addition. If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. and more importantly. war trauma or severe physical illness. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. Remember. With regard to addictions. deprivation. With or without hypnosis. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. to addiction. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. understanding the negative experience is not 33 . the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. As stated earlier. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion. weight loss to pain and illness. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. © Copyright 2003.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. do not use self-hypnosis. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. emptiness and anxiety. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. EFT can help with both the cravings. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects.

the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. One such study by Dr. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. Ryke Geerd Hamer. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. but our physical health as well. For example. hurt and unforgiveness. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress 34 . By forgiving. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. resentment. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. accidents and increased workplace injuries. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. even more importantly. meditation. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. It can even be linked to suicide. a German physician conducted with the help of 20. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. hostility. Likewise. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. hurt. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health.

taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. exposure to toxic substances. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. such as genetics. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. but it is not. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. it prevents depression. In addition to nurturing your mind. diet. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. etc. etc). seems somewhat contradictory. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. In most cases of cancer. Throughout this book you will find theories. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts.specifically. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. vaccines. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other diseases. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. that we are out of balance. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. pathogens. whole grains. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. white flour. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another 35 . Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions.

opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. stress. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again. Hypnosis can help you.who have the ability to relax more fully. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. or an inability to let go and just relax. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. but balance will return. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom Technique. if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. So. © Copyright 2003. While listening to your hypnotherapist. imagery. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper 36 .

primary by reducing the inflammation. Fiber. garlic liberally. Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. try counting the chews in each bite. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. until the food becomes liquid. Increase your intake of fish. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. © Copyright 2003. Eat the right foods. Their phytonutrients . walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods. The indigestible parts of fruits.F FABULOUS. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. FEAR. soy. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. Healthy fats. Fruits and vegetables and spices. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. 2. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from 37 . safflower and vegetable oils. whole grains. which as we know reduce inflammation. FOCUS. nuts. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Chew properly.carotenoids in carrots. aiming for 30 to 50 times. turmeric. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. Drink more water.

our organs. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. The solution: Sweat. As a matter of fact. 6.) If under pressure at meals. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Any form of exercise helps. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural process. Pesticides. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. Eat homemade food. Detox is a relative term. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. which creates less gas. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. our 38 . (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. but it is caused by spleen imbalances. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. Breathe. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss. Sweat – cleans up your system. chemicals from manufacturing. 4. Detox. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. and metals such as mercury and lead from air.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. Losing weight gradually . You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. chew. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. 3. But breathing is also effective. and let the simple act of chewing relax you.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. our hair. 5. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. our tissues. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. but so will saunas and hot baths. Our blood is what creates our cells. Regular exercise should make you sweat. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. take deep breaths. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins.

nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. hydrogenated fats. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. 9. Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. drugs) to the least (fruits and 39 . relaxes your body. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. you sure can laugh at one. our jobs. boost mood. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. meats.consists of slow. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. I call it facial meditation. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . and improve overall health. 8. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. Have a home-made facial. Even if you can’t tell a joke. 10. focused. grains. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. improving your healthy well-being. Tai chi -moving meditation .journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. Have sex. diary products. Laugh. fried foods. fats. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. Take the laughter yoga is delicious. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. © Copyright 2003. refined flours. etc. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. our relationships. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . bread. 7.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep.

Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats.naturalcounselor. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. that one thing. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become normal. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. mood swings. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. healthy and joyous life you want. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. fear of success. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. FEAR: fear of change. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. or even 40 . Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. That one thing is FEAR. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is again. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. insomnia or lack of energy. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. one thing seems to come up most frequently. As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. what we expect. NewBeginnings FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. it keeps us from making a big mistake. though. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting theme. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams. fear of failure.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. a short and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite.

We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. the more connected we feel. as we grew older. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. When you have specific. This is wrong. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. If you haven’t done so already. career and health because you are afraid of failing. friends and lovers live this kind of life. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. © Copyright 2003. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. But. Be honest. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. Your goals must be your very own.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. get out your list and read it again. relationships. we have chosen. for the most part. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. the world of adults. afraid of disappointment. we were told to leave those dreams behind. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 41 . Something that is important to you right now. instead.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the more vibrant and alive we become. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. and grow up. and life just gets better and better. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. pretend and let our imaginations soar. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. have a reasonably happy life. we are afraid to dream. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. 2. People without strong desires slowly whither away. in order to be an adult. We were told to grow up. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. As children we were free to play. write down your goals and if you did write them down.

you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. life coach or whomever and ask for support. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. a powerful tool. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. Use them. push yourself to ask for help now.3. talking about how to overcome a particular obstacle. Remember the Power of Affirmations. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. FOCUS Look around you. 5. it’s hard to focus. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. 4. parent. breathing things. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. As an 42 . even though we would gladly give it if asked. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. doing something together. Focus. If you have not asked for support much in the past. When you say your affirmations out loud. though. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. laughing. if your goal is to run a marathon. Sometimes. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. You know. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. crying and so on. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. and its effects may be positive. Over time. though. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. psychological imbalances. recorded on brain and body cells. forgive and accept forgiveness. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. smell and hearing. When we go through periods of stress. The subconscious processes everything. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. sight. whether asleep or awake. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. resentment or anger. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. © Copyright 2003. affirmative statements. that release. it still exists in our subconscious. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses 43 .piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. confront the situation as needed. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. though. success and fulfillment. interpersonal and relationship problems. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. negative or neutral to our mental. Luckily. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. touch. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement. our subconscious is able to do this for us. health. It disables your emotional resources. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. During the course of a day.taste. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. you are bombarded with millions of message units. This is commonly referred to as memory. physical and emotional well-being. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

which frees the Releaser from old patterns. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. Even when we sleep long hours. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. This not only applies to a current. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. anger. 6. 2. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. laughter and perspiration. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. 5. existing situation. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. 4. During the Releasing session. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. 3. fear and anxiety. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in 44 . Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. They are also © Copyright 2003. Once learned. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. tears.

It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. have learned.” 7. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. the Releaser is asked to state. and your body and life are the printout. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. “I release (relevant emotions. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. however.). she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. once learned. As people from all backgrounds. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness. and feeling great. as a Soul. 8.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the brain is your biological computer. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). such as anger. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. etc. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. © Copyright 2003. function as a computer operator. disappointment. and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. sadness.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing 45 . can be done alone. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. including health care professionals and clergy.

Without goals. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. an activity or a thing. whether it is an emotion. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. though. it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. meaningful and exciting. thoughts and ideas. After you’ve done this. Each of us is already whole. You choose what you want in your life. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. Conversely. fun. not really happy. If you think about anger. a diversion to keep life 46 . I don’t know about you. Sometimes. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. Not only in your own relationships. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. not only does life get depressing. “I don’t know what I want. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. A really simple way to test this theory is this. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life. take the color blue for example. A state of being is not an emotion. This same principle works the same way for emotions.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. if you think about a color. your current life situation. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. something that is crucial to goal setting. Think of it as a game. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. We find ourselves drifting along.

meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. responsible. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. But you can’t manifest everything you want. He’s got free will just as we all do. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. © Copyright 2003. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. sometime weekly. simple Measurable. change is the whole point. it just means you make an adjustment. Don’t forget about free will. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly. they will never be overwhelming. doesn’t mean I can have him. If you do this regularly. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. it would be a boring and scary world. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. not if you want to improve your life. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. Adjustments are a good thing. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. keeps us feeling alive. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily 47 . ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not want.

The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are 48 . © Copyright 2003.Remember. set those goals. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. So. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your goals are clear and you believe that it will.

there is “some overlap with meditation” however. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. turning some functions on and others off. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. and help strengthen the immune system. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. In a pilot study published in 1999. Ph. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). releasing negative thoughts.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. © Copyright 2003.. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. imagery. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. It can help relieve pain.H HEALING. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone production. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. lower blood pressure. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. speed up healing after surgery. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. Working from the inside out. As David Spiegel. relieve depression and so much more. visualization and positive suggestions. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes.D. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. by using 49 .

the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. soothing kind of treatment. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. During the operation. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. in terms of levels of pain. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) 50 . must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the problem. and the third received standard care. anxiety and the need for painkillers. empathic care provider and hypnosis. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. Every 15 minutes. though. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. that’s because it is. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. Arreed Barabasz. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. The suggestions.

and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. On average. experienced less pain.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. then the real fun can start. involving more than 330 patients. Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies.” Using imaging technology. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. which could account for heightened attention. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. While in the trance. And this list goes on and on. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. A journey that you can now control. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. Spiegel and Lang found. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear.” says Marc Schoen. Once again. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients.” says Spiegel. psychologists say. “It’s not just a fantasy. If you think you are seeing color. the hypnotized patients used less medication. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. In 51 . you actually see it. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. realizing all the possibilities available to you. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. the brain’s manager and planner.

rude or just plain nasty people. We have to cope with irritating. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). this spark can grow a little dim. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. resentment. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out 52 . this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. Sometimes. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. you can do this exercise while awake. fear. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. unpleasant. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away.jealously. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. Try it once and feel the results. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. though. All life starts as a spark. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. stress. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. tension and minor frustrations. Problems that we encounter every single day. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. Some little problem or some big problem. My purpose is to help them remember. hurt. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. © Copyright 2003. we each have to deal with something. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. As we each move through life. When I say fuel. hurt. Each incident throughout the day affects us. With a bit of practice. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals.

anything at all about yourself. As a result. Try hypnosis. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. Some pleasant. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. you create a vivid. © Copyright 2003. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. relaxed. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. comfort. clarity. euphoria and control of your life again. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. The more visual and real you make your goal.” Using hypnosis. According to Stephen Kosslyn. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. feel or react. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. more positive thoughts. and much better about yourself. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. If there is anything in your world. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. every message unit. but the results will amaze and delight you. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. however. you will feel refreshed. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. a professor of psychology at 53 . Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. not only will you feel better immediately. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”.

Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. etc. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. good or bad. etc. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. Conversely. can often help the other. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your Cheryl is talking about imagery. once wrote. what we say to ourselves.I IMAGERY. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. failure or success.” Cheryl O’Neil. fixing a problem in one place. and change your life . ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. Simply put. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. What we experience as feelings. mend your ways. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Your ability to overcome obstacles. build self-confidence. Never. boost your mood. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool. 54 .cheryloneil. are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. depressed © Copyright determined by the thoughts you think. feel more loved. who I especially admire. As stated in Woman’s World. September 26. create passionate relationships. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. heal your body. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. The brain is simply another organ in your body. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. fear or confidence. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. More and more doctors as well as patients. 2006.” What we think. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. www.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


com © Copyright 2003.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to “What we think about we bring about. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. 98% of the time I am right. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Reiki. Go with your first impression you get from each card. You know that saying. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Motivation. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. You rise above thinking in mediation. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first.qualifiedlifecoach. Private & Group Coaching. The fourth part is training your mind. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition. allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Abundance.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Another way I practice is with 58 . Law of Attraction. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. John Holland a successful well known psychic suggests. use a deck of cards. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. Meditation. Self Esteem.

You are 59 . they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes them. succeed. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. That’s the truth of love. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. and if so. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. It is essential to communicate clearly.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. You want revenge. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. If you can cool down. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. in control of yourself and your partner. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. and grow. It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. projections. delusions. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. enjoy their life. you may go into a rage. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. Often. You want to stop what you are feeling. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. no matter what that entails. You feel violated. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. You want to see them become more of who they are. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. envy.

Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. If you can do this. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. you cannot make a person love 60 . and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. If you move inward and look at yourself. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. the jealousy resides within you. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. If your relationship is based on Attachment. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. not within the relationship. This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so.yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Jealousy is like an onion. © Copyright 2003. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. You can give yourself the gift. you cannot. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and jealously. It does not.

It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. Going down to an even deeper layer. there is nothing to feel guilty about. You do not own it. guilt or anger. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. envy. The truth is that for most of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. we find envy. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. It is their own. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Another layer is projection. Look at your beliefs. The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. This insight. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. Another layer can be guilt. Look at the reality. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. really look and analyze them. This is projecting. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. We think that we should be able to rise above 61 . If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Projection. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. the truth behind what you are feeling. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. you can reach self-awareness. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. get rid of the ones that aren’t working. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. These all grow out of expectation. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. This is natural and normal.

Once you release the anger. If you love someone. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. let that guide you. the resentment and the hurt. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. you become yourself possessed. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. © Copyright 2003. If you find yourself doing this. Fear of loss. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. Hypnosis can help. You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. but attachment. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is 62 . and let that be who you are. You can choose to move away from those feelings. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. When you love. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. they still don’t meet your expectations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are experiencing jealously. our childhood. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. They come from our past. Perhaps you fear abandonment. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. You become vulnerable. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. You do not need to experience jealously. By looking deep within. look deep within yourself at these feelings. fear of being alone. Surrender to it. fear of not being worthy of love. When you attempt to possess another person. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough money. you can watch that love radiate out for all. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. Open your heart and mind to it. then what you are experiencing is not love. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. frequently they are not real.

The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. but generally the concept is basically the 63 . karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will.K KARMA. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Jain. all of which determine our future. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. action and reaction that governs and controls all life. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. or alternatively. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. There is no judgment involved. if you prefer. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. Just a thought. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. present and future and because of this. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. Most people © Copyright 2003. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. In the Shang dynasty in China. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. As stated above. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. In the belief systems of many cultures. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. Fate implies no choice. saint or seer. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. prophet.associate Destiny with fate. fate and destiny are not the same. If you are not satisfied with your life. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. participate and change the direction you are heading. Step in. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your 64 . Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. but fate makes no allowance for free will. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. which is a huge component of the human psyche. © Copyright 2003.

The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative. © Copyright 2003.00 a year income. is a good analogy. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. For example. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get 65 . What ever it is.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. If you want to be a famous singer write that down.” It’s about where you put your focus. start by writing it down. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. LIFE. The old saying. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. “Let the chips fall where they may”. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. The concept of the law of attraction is. LOVE. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. that can help you with exactly that.000. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. “What you think about will happen in your life.

They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. pay attention. You have made it clear. There is something there to be learned or gained. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. pay attention to what happens next. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. now grab it. you then attracted it. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003. Now that you have set this up. I promise you it will show up. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. You asked for what you wanted. Now the key here is to follow up with this. etc. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. allowing it to happen is vital. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. don’t 66 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right there. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. talk to those people. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for.

maybe © Copyright 2003. tele-classes and resources are offered. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. Not only that. www. life is messy. originally thought of. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. Group Coaching. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. It is never wasted and it is never lost. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So live your life. that is the Universe telling you go…. You” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. Individual Coaching. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. The sooner we realize and accept that.” And I realized as she told me this. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his a different package. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 years. Go to my web site for more information. who has no idea that she is. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. she said “You didn’t waste those LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will.qualifiedlifecoach. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years. you used them to learn about yourself. She told him something I want to share with all of 67 . a very wise woman. whatever that may entail because that’s your life.

We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special enough. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. healing. trust . Compassion (Com-pas’sion). though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. living this life to experience love. but yes. I’m not sure why exactly. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. dating. sex. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. all kinds of love. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. you are perfect. compassion and faith. I was reminded recently. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. partnered. romance. [Obs. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. First. some which I like and others not so much. 68 . even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. t. v.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. often including a desire to help. I know. Definition: To pity. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. com·pas·sion. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. married or alone. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. A noun. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best.] Shak.” When we talk about compassion. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. © Copyright 2003. never have. The message really is that you need to be in love with you.

If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. those we live with.Another thing that is so important to remember. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. nobody can make it for you. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your 69 . “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. measurable phenomenon. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. with all their faults. then someone else. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. one that you can get behind. © Copyright 2003. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. work with or just come into contact with. My only question to your would be this. Give yourself a break. People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. someone around you. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). lazy or self-indulgent. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. in the process. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. and. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. that negative voice in your head. Instead of listening to that old record. as well. can start to love themselves as well.K. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. then maybe. heal others and yourself. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our faults. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. Luck is a real. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious.

During the past 50 years. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. “Depression may look like a single disease. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become.D. Depression can manifest in many different forms. (Harvard Medical School). MIND-BODY CONNECTION. February 26. As Dr. the depression and the cause of that depression. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and so do the ideal treatments. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. certainly not for a real man. M. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak.” Michael Craig Miller. sex. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. In addition. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. In the past. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. 2007 article. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. And yet. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women.e. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. but the underlying causes vary. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. with all these statistics facing us. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help.M MALE DEPRESSION. or even make the depression worse. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. This can make treatment especially difficult. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures.. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a 70 .

it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. When this occurs. During the course of this journey and these detours. Ph. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. October 18. guilt and depression. fear or anger that you are experiencing. smooth and without bumps or potholes. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. difficult and painful process. There are detours that we must take. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. fear. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships.If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. love and happiness beyond measure. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. Woman’s World. With the aid of hypnotherapy. Edward M. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. Sometimes. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being.D. Using © Copyright 2003. hurt. you take back control of your own life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight. the healing process. bitterness. This is not easy. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. When you release the hurt. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. resentment. When you recognize that this is occurring. Hallowell. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. helping you regain strong mental-health. however. without help. As Dr. without wanting or meaning to.. Working from the inside out. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. As I quote above. 71 .

net 72 . But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with you. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. eating disorders. Holding onto anger. Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. but our physical body as well. drug abuse and depression. can lead to serious food addictions. In addition. meditation. alcoholism. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. pathogens. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. With the help of 20. © Copyright 2003. hurt. including diet. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion.000 brain scans. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. Dr. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. resentment. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. a German physician. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. hostility. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. Ryke Geerd Hamer. This has been proven by Dr.

Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. Success is a process of continually learning new information. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). guide them in a positive direction. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. whole grains. It requires that you develop a success mind. thought or image.exposure to toxic substances. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. In addition to nurturing your mind. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive emotion. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life.D. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. This is a way of thinking. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. and © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. 73 . anger is what you will bring into your life. keeping track of what is working and what is not. I have been there and there is a way out. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. yoga can help. Believe me. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. Success is largely an inner game. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. and this applies to any negative emotion. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. if you focus on anger. Meditation works. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. vaccines. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. use it and use it frequently. etc. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. but to your thoughts as well. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. etc). white flour.

The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. This is one of the laws of success. and keep moving forward. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. © Copyright 2003. Take time to dream. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. Only you have to live with your success or your failure.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. or successful businessperson. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). The success mind trains itself to ask. You will have to change to be successful. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. but also change the world. fear of what other people will think. hardship. see unlimited possibilities. you simply need to start. learn from your mistakes. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. conditioning. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. inventor. Fear of change. fear of failure. While success requires action. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. possibility is in the dreaming. and create new realities. exploring one more option or opportunity. Gather new information. and failure. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear. fear of hard 74 . generate new ideas. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. if you talk to any star athlete. foster creativity. the less we fear them. Develop a process to examine your fears. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. Take action. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. make adjustments along the way. Yet. fear that we are not good enough. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears.

experience. Not simply because you say yes. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. you will create even more opportunities for growth. your world and your success. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. It is never too late to develop your success mind. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. Your thoughts. You continue to grow. adventure. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. Mental toughness. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. When you say yes. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. and grow. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind 75 . the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. form opinions. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. Remember. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. But once you say no to an opportunity. try on new perspectives. This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. challenge. create. The time to begin is now. and success. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. your feelings. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. you likely will feel fear. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Question. As you do this. think. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. your actions.

is President of Best Life Design.D. Visit her at www. redirect the effort. J. NewBeginnings for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a 76 . make corrections. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined possible. directed.molliemarti. and healthier lives. better. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human or www. Dream big and take consistent.success and rewards your effort.. Inc. mediator. happier.bestlifedesign. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. © Copyright 2003. Ph. and smart action. Stop caring what other people think. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail.D. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. engage again and refuse to quit. lawyer.. Mollie Marti. performance coach.

however. A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. John Grinder. © Copyright 2003. There is. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. However. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. sales. linguistics and computer science. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. Unfortunately. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality 77 . but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. Robert Dilts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and interpersonal influence. sports. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. management training. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). Frequently when NLP is mentioned.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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net 81 . is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. use Yellow) money. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. activity. Also. occurrence. red would probably not be the best color to use. You have the power to change your perception. think we are making progress or stagnating.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. health healing. Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. fire. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate. Use it for minor headaches. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. remember that red not only represents life force. growth. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. © Copyright 2003. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. Whether it makes us happy or sad. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success.

net 82 . don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. Perception is a powerful thing. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. Sometimes. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. Depending on the phobia. though. control it and use it wisely. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. Basically. Take control. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. it can make your life almost unbearable.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. © Copyright 2003. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. If you are suffering from a phobia. Relief is truly immediate. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future. there will be no emotional response. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. this power. After you are put into a hypnotic state. this is how it works. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. but it is not a gift at all. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. You are then taken back to the phobia again. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. By the time your therapist is done. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. Once you have faced your phobia. It can be done in person and over the phone. But the results tend to be permanent.

even fear of success. fear of failure. and not just money or things. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. you will enjoy them immensely. however. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. money as well. In order to accomplish this. and not just a lack of money or things. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. happiness. Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. Fear of change. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Frequently they are a result of fear. it may be necessary to make some changes. fulfillment and yes. joyful and full life filled with love. thinking and dreaming. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any 83 . fun. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. Mollie W. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. prosperity includes a rich. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. Marti.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. © Copyright 2003. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. both written by Dr. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity.

If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. touch it.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. around us. Superstring Theory. Loop Quantum Gravity. hear. because what was a mechanical. However real and external these images may seem. We can see it. Unified Field Theory. instead. and tangible. Grand Unified Theory. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. Supersymmetry. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. Schroedinger’s Cat. standing as a physical world. It appears undeniably to be out there. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. not the other way around. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. smell. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. separate from us. Quantum Gravity. Time. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. external universe. space. In the dream it all seems very real. Theory of Everything. as I started to research this a bit. and hear it. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. © Copyright 2003. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from us. independent and apart from us. They exist within consciousness. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. in addition. however. it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory 84 . taste. M-Theory. touch. String Theory. utterly real. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. solid. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. they are all phenomena within the mind. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. the Copenhagen Interpretation. EPR Paradox. in about three or four paragraphs! So.

if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your 85 . Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell.So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your reality. huh? So. Cool. Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. and there’s only one real way to do that. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created.

NewBeginnings 86 . “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. RELEASING. © Copyright 2003. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in.R RELATIONSHIPS. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. read on. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. congratulations. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. if you are not. Unfortunately. cries or screams when upset. First. In addition. our behavior patterns. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. It is the physical who yells. possibly even throws things when angry. These two distinct types. how they can come apart. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. However.

It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. In relationships. the relationship is of primary importance to her. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. When I say E&P attraction. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. secure and © Copyright 2003. The emotional. Their first priority is their career. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. then hobbies. So he starts spending more time at work. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. Next would be their children. is quite a bit different. outgoing. With the physical female. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. She on the other hand. She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. And that’s a good thing. his career. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. longer hours at the office. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. he cannot understand why. This is natural. She is happy. Let’s cover very briefly.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of 87 . on the other hand. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. But let’s look into the future several months. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. After all. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. When they first meet. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently in. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. For the physical. what the priorities of each are. When his partner complains that they never see each other. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. And boy do they do relate. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. To her partner it is his career. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. I really do mean attraction. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other.

What can be done about this. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. Plenty. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. When we are healthy and balanced. communication is key to any successful relationship. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. Interestingly enough. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. to get clear on your goals for the future. sadness. 88 . without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. With communication you can understand each other. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. Remember. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. releasing occurs naturally. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. When you understand how the other thinks. The process is quick. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. though. Release anger. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. This is done through imagery and suggestion. fear and guilt. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003.

you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward. positive thoughts. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal mental. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. physical. Negative expectations. use your downloadable sessions first. and emotional states. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions.D. anger. hurt. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. unpredictability and lack of control. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. If your subconscious is ready. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That may been all you need at this time. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Both techniques are effective. doubts. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. body and emotions. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. fears. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. Ph. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. process and recall 89 . Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time.

So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. to your computer. you are ready for 90 . consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. each and every day. For example. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. taking in a deep breathe. “It’s gray and cloudy. As you spend energy during the day. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. boring day. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. Rather. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. Think and say. and in countless other interactions.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. These types of performance routines consist of ten components. As you add them to your day. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done. reading a book. build in ways to recoup your energy. You spend mental. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. It’s going to be a gloomy. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. make a choice to expect positive results. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals. You give energy away to other people. You wake up and your first thought might be. in and of © Copyright 2003. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. Rest is any activity. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. Many rituals are quite simple. over the telephone.

It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. fatigue. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. guilt. When you carry negative emotions like fear. and anxiety. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on demand. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. Influence Management: Before any performance. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. anger. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. You’ve © Copyright 2003. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day. nervousness. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. after working at your computer for an hour. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. linking it with a unique physical action. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. For example. which is pleasurable and restorative. Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground.itself. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. and discarding the emotion. you are less able to concentrate on your task. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. frustration. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. rhythmic breathing. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. NewBeginnings 91 . After a 90-minute presentation.

As you travel or perform in different locations. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. you might choose a banner. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. I “turn on” my full engagement. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. back to my task. This leads to a less than stellar performance. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. such as a doorframe. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. . it also had drifted off. Yet. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. For example. © Copyright 2003. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. a piece of art. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. Before you perform. I image a red line on the floor. One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments. consciously look at your focal point. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. “OK. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point . . As I cross the line. If you are in your office or in a conference room. works well. but when it came time to start. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. A tangible engagement cue. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. try to use the same type of focal point. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. These distractions can come from any direction at any time. She chose a cloud as her focal point. body and emotions that it is time to perform. If you 92 . These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. or a clock on the wall. even if it is a good thing. Any time you get distracted.simply applied a band-aid. can be viewed as a distraction. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. prior to a presentation or meeting. the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. It immediately precedes the performance and says.

to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep.. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals. concentration. Inc. As part of this process. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. Mollie Marti. mediator. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine.D. J. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger. performance coach.bestlifedesign. is President of Best Life Design. lawyer. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the way. and healthier lives. it won’t feel right. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. This means that if you get away from your or www.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. successful entrepreneur. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. better. It will throw you off. alcohol. If you cannot identify your rituals. they will provide great consistency.D. and success.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. Ph. © Copyright 93 . happier. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. Common ones are the misuse of for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Visit her at www. A close companion is the use of stimulants. including caffeine and adrenaline. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment.molliemarti. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. chronic fatigue. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. apricots. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. Vitamin B12. bananas. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. brown rice. cabbage. Calcium. depression. Vitamin B6. be one of the first things that goes. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. such as hormonal imbalances. fear. oats. worry. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. moodiness and nervousness. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. blood sugar fluctuations. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. broccoli. 97 . fish. © Copyright 2003. mustard greens. leafy vegetables. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. kale. depression. You need eat more avocados. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. etc. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. garlic. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. prunes. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. Calcium rich foods are almonds. irritability. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. impatience. kelp. seafood. Unfortunately. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. exhaustion. Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. sesame seeds. asparagus. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. salmon. irritability. causing irritability and nervousness.

Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them.Folic acid. Squeeze a squishy ball. salmon. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. insomnia or lack of energy. who will take care of our children. In addition. to work away your tension. Walk. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. Start squeezing something. nobody will. barley. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Call a friend. mood swings. © Copyright 2003. carrots and turnips).naturalcounselor. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure. brown rice. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: 98 .” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. oranges. I know mine always have been). tuna and whole grains. legumes. root vegetables (such as potatoes. a founder of NaturalCounselor. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. though. such as a squishy ball. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. Sing. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a kiss. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. you must relax. our cortisol levels drop. Kiss. but if something happens to us. green leafy vegetables. Foods rich in folate are who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. lentils. Bottom line though. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. our family? So let us be stress smart. oatmeal. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. mushrooms.

As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a 99 . you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. because you cannot stand still. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. According to the laws of physics. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. Energy is constantly in motion. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. I used to feel that way often. For example. but to the energy of the present moment. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. if you are having a problem with money. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. a feeling. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. I know I have. you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). If you wake up today affirming an illness. If you understand that.” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. If you wake up today focusing on debt. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that. You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. You think about the future and you tighten up even more.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more.

You need to make room for change. really. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing.” Ginandes says. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the 100 . The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. You don’t have to create change. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. Ph. Pain sufferers. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. And. Hypnosis.” So. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery. meanwhile. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. for most people. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. for example. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different..” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.D. smooth. During the sessions. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. It is only important that it does. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities.D. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. the truth is. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. our results suggest. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. and elastic. can influence the body to heal itself. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. © Copyright 2003. In a pilot study published in 1999. In a follow-up experiment published last year. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. it doesn’t matter why it works. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment. Ph.

To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. Remember. for you happiness and your abundance. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. Take responsibility for your life and direction. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. it is what feels best for you. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. your love and your joy. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. look down on the Time Line. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. If it’s behind you. Remember. © Copyright 2003. to the left or to the right. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do 101 . There is no correct answers. Take your time with this. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. the more you visualize or imagine what you want. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. When you have determined the directions of past and future.

net 102 . You procrastinated. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. It might not have looked that way to others. © Copyright 2003. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love. you made a mistake. you stuck by the wrong person.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. Without getting specific about each of them. even if they cannot give it back. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. I’d like you to consider another alternative. Sometimes what you need. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. It can look that way to others. bad things just happen. You need them to tell you to be strong. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself).

Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few 103 . 90. First. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. Spirituality. while another may be a Wiccan. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. you need to define what it is you want. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. Picture yourself at age 80. VICTIMHOOD. whatever feels right. etc. © Copyright 2003. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. another may practice Hinduism. 85. For example.

rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Figure it out early. What value areas of your life are you happy with. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. If it is what you believe. What you might think is wrong. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. are you really meant to be together. you will certainly feel violated. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. Think about all the value areas of your life. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. You might get angry. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. mugged or even raped. then you’ve got a problem. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. What areas cause you regret. However. Remember. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. Something very unpleasant. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. Perhaps you are abused. then your perception makes it right. church and society. friends. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships.Now think back over your life. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that 104 . but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. is you. but not only that. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. or even the perceptions of our family. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow.

for what you do and what you say. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my wife doesn’t understand me. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting people. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect.. my mother didn’t give me enough love. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun.S. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. etc. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person. And. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. NewBeginnings 105 . and society actually encourages this thought. it means you are not responsible for anything. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. my friends don’t understand me. etc. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much. But now. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. my husband ignores me.. But just take a moment now and really think about it. my kids don’t show me any respect. happiness and joy available to each of us. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from.I want you to consider something. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. my mother didn’t understand me. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. A rather sad.” But. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. etc. however. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. It wasn’t fun. Life. Here in the U. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me.

Remember. never © Copyright 2003. beautiful heart and so much love to give. If that is taken away from us . Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to 106 . thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. September 26. You had to be strong. each of us. eventually. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. We will see that our most valuable possession is not life. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. Simply. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. boost your mood. etc. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. For example. please. The woman who has come out of a nasty. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. As stated in Woman’s World. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. If we take back control. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. can often help the other. Fixing a problem in one place though. is powerful beyond belief. etc. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. build self-confidence. bad relationship and can keep on going. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. feel more loved. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality.who you are. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety.or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live.. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. it is the ability to enjoy life. One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear. 2006. we lose everything.

net 107 . Use the power of your mind. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live in. your imagination. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. increase your self-confidence. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. Is essence. can change how your feel. © Copyright 2003. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. So. relieve pain. depressed or negative. If you are feeling down.

we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. diet and weight. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best.W WEIGHT. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. scientists. the only diet that had ever worked for them. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors.) 3. If. Confusing. before facts have actually been verified. Not only that. refined. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. 4. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. alcohol.. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life 108 . included six small meals a day. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. however. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. it’s good again. The truth is. etc. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. bleached flour. We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. WORDS.e. First one. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. 5.

Out of all the food you eat in a day. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Has your mother. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 109 . 17. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. © Copyright 2003.6. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 10. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 8. 9. 19. 7. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Do you associate a person. 18. Do you have cravings for salt? 13. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 20.

You know © Copyright 2003. having said all that. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. a lack of fulfillment. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. More often than not. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. Abuse victims. by working it. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. confidence and happiness. self-confidence. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves.Now. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. they include abandonment issues. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. you know that as strange as it may sound. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on 110 . so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. survivors. We heal from physical injuries. WRONG! Words have power. You had to be strong. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. satisfaction. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. The second step is to take control of your thoughts.

husband. words can hurt you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. dreams and desires. I have to say this. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. But you are wrong. scream and yell and swear all you want. And that’s what venting to another is. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Once said they are out there forever. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. And for each of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. wider and stronger each and every day. intelligence and compassion. The same holds true for what you hear. throughout your life entire life. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. Vent when you are alone. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child.because I say it over and over again. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. keep your thoughts strong. but not only that. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. As a matter of fact. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. Also. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. this planet needs you. find out what you can do. someone will answer. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. When this occurs. This is why “words” do have so much power. Think and dream about your future. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. But most of all. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. lover. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. Your life depends on it After all. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. call out for 111 . Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. Make some calls. But when you are with someone you care about. wife. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. your talent.

Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences 112 . Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. especially in interpersonal situations. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Releasing sessions can work well with these. If you do not feel ready for that. can help. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to. © Copyright 2003. when things are going smoothly. If you can do this. However. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. or. much like arthritis in wet weather.withdraw into ourselves.

Wait 10-20 seconds. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. what is different and better. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. doesn’t it?. You can choose to live your life. BINGER ETC. energy. healthy. What do you look like. very clearly. When you have done this. clear and easy breathing. vibrant. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. drinker. You have the opportunity to see a different 113 . What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. are you now sure which one you want. strong. your energy will flow in that direction. Once you decide that you want to quit. DRINKER. Whatever it is. the body you want. Make a promise to yourself. vital. © Copyright 2003. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. Notice what you see. Wait 10-20 seconds. you have a decision to make. And now let those images fade completely away. Make a commitment and a decision. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction.X X SMOKER. clear skin. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. Before you make that decision. the decision becomes easy. binger or whatever. Notice how you feel. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. drinking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. Of these two possible futures in your life. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker.

Everything in life is a choice. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. and you will begin to see the results of your choices. So. your entire belief system. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For instance. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. it does not mean you will receive it. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. success. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. Compare it to strength training. even if you don’t truly believe it at the time. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. your life script. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. happiness. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. you may never receive it. you can only lift a small amount of weight. joy. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. © Copyright 2003. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. When you first begin to work your muscles. a better job. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice.Y YOUR LIFE 114 . Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. In making a choice. you always have a

The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be. check it out at www. looking 115 . check it regularly. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your life. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. © Copyright 2003. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all To me. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes.hollygleason.According to Holly.

Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. An antonym is apathy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. And always remember this. cause. cause. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. or ideal. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. it means a diligent enthusiasm. intensity and passion.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. or ideal and the determination to further that person. fight for your dreams and your 116 . please do it with zeal and without apathy.

You can also visualize this word in your mind. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point. While you are doing these three karate chops.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. © Copyright 2003. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly.” “gamut spot. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. There are 15 117 . The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times.” and the “sore spot. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out. To make this even more effective. Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best.

Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. 10. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. or anything you want changed. anxiety. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the pinky. 4. 7. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 118 . you can use just one or two words. Do what feels right for you. It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. You can go through the tapping process several times. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 5. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. 11.” © Copyright 2003. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 8. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 12. or AFRAID. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. 2. or DEPRESSED. 3. This is not a sentence.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 6.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. 9. but do each issue separately. I accept myself deeply and profoundly.

net 119 . you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. Perhaps it is now just a small spark.” And that’s all there is to it. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. By burning away all anger and negativity. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. As you do this. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. hurt. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. I love myself. feelings. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. © Copyright 2003. And as your heart fire increases. resentment or negativity away. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. you open all pathways to love. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to close. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. you also release all negative thoughts. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. And as your heart fire increases. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. uncross your arms and legs. your connection with yourself is complete. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. ideas and beliefs within yourself. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. you can take that anger inside and burn it away.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time. emotions.

anyplace. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. Take yourself fully into this place. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. See it. taking this time right now for myself. Then when you are ready. If you feel like it and have the time.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. heal yourself and relax yourself..e. see the image). Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue 120 . hear the waves and the birds. like salt. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. weeks. at the beach. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. days. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. Then imagine or visualize white granules. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out. If another color comes to mind. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. hear it (i. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away. hours. cleansing breath in and let it out. allow that color to flow in and out as well. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. months or even years to be released. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. smell the salt. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. smell it. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away.

After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. Here’s my snapshot. yourself. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. © Copyright 2003. You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. activity. You are in control and in charge of your body. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you can. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. or whatever it is your desire. I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire. You are in charge of your healing and your life. my guy and I are in love. thoughts and feelings. relationship. Let go of all tightness within you. happy and having fun together. 121 . Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times.

With my thoughts I create my new. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade away. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. © Copyright 2003. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. I choose to forget past mistakes now. I vibrate with positive energy. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. live in the moment and dream in the future. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. I say to myself RANCH. I keep saying ranch until that 122 . positive delightful reality.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice.

...... 35... 44. 18... 43. 114... 106.... 54........ 33...... 60.. 16...... 42.. 91...... 63. 26. 57.... 27.........D............ 84.. 44... 102.... 27................. 110 communication ..... 97... 21...... 106.. 2.. 50..7. 6. 97...2. 25.... 78..3....... 95................. 119... 5....... 31.. 109.......9. 45. 125.. 92.. 43..... 45. 67..2.. 3... 55 Dawn Abraham . 41.... 21 David Spiegel. 60... 35....... 106......... 33. 32.. 27.. 19. 104.. 123.. 3 Alzheimer’s . 78 EFT ........ 36. 86... 47. 10.... 71....... 73 depression ..... 21.... 29.................... 89.... 7.. 28.... 30. 26... 6...... 3 addiction ........... 94. 94.. 90 coronary disease. 5. 77.... 55 emotional freedom technique .... 5. 62........ 72.86 Circle Therapy . 96..5... 38.. 37.. 78....... 35..... 58..... 113 Abraham Hicks .. 79........24.. 7. 129 food addictions..... 31...... 127.7... 24..... 79......... 76. 35... 22. 121 drug abuse........ 102.. 52. 46. 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross . 81.... 121... 95 © Copyright 2003.... 94... 126..... 24 eating disorders. 37....... 125 energy ... 79 Carol Ginandes. 114..... 4. 107 Cheryl O’Neil ... 71.. 6.. 50...... 118 consciousness 8.. 78 E&P attraction . 56... 130 epilepsy . 5..... 35..... 63.............. 79.... 8.. 15.... 71... 52.... 66.. 101....... 130 apprehension.... 63.. 60.. 129 diet . 25...30.... 114......... 94.. 5.2. 101............ 95....... 23.. 21. 36. 105 darkest hour ... 96.. 35... 88.. 70.... 32...... 78 chronic pain .. 84...... 91. 39..... 98......... 39......... 104.. 27. 4.... 59... 109..... 6.... 45. 131 dreams 22........ 72....... 77.. 56.. 10 binging .... 58.... 38.. 20...... 75.... 80.... 36....... 55.... 90....... 112.. 7 attraction ... 22.. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. 38.......... 35. 24. 23... 34. 37.. 46... 88.. 81.. 60..................... 47.. 81......... 117. 94........... 90... Ph. 7.. 116 Bereavement .. 48........ 76............. 22.... Ph... 103......D.. 60.. 77... 97. 119... 32........... 79 cancer.... 96.. 78 affirmations...... i ... 37.... 76.. 102... 30. 104....2....... 129 alcoholism.....125 anger .. 76. 94 baggage.... 4..... 78................. 36...... 12..... 124 drinking...... 130 focus....107 abuse 5.... 32. 83........ 3............. 74..... 78.... 50.... 116 disease.............5. 65... 22... 119 confidence.......121 blood sugar .. 127. 35. 78 cortisol ............. 45. 53.................. 6. 21...... 37... 57. 30 Eric Butterworth ..... 48.54 association ...... 36......... 28..... 52. 1.. 44. 23..... 58........... 103........ 73... 46....86 addict ...... 97. 5.... 19... 128.. 104..8 Adrian Calabrese.. 97. 113... 14.......... 55. 53....30 anchor .. 21.5.. 52... 12 Elvira Lang . 8.... 43.. 21.. 44... 76 desire.......... 6. 9. 44.... 126 adrenalin ........ 10.. 32.... 95...... 122 chronic anger . 121..... 81... 6. 41. 79 dream 1.......38.... 54.. 31....... 21...21 Arreed Barabasz .... 42...... 98.......... 114.................. 104......... 61......1..........1. 6... 42... 43........... 128 anxiety 7.. 93............... 89 balance .... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 6....... 112 compassion . 37.. ... 36..58 choice2... 114...Index 12-step programs .. 74. 32....... 47.53.... 105............ 99. 94.... 38. 20... 129. 78 alternative programs ..88 clarity 9.................. 103... 70. 94.. 71.. 44. 38.. 47.. 21.. 126... 97.............. 118 acute pain....... ...... 81...24.... 2. 87. 127. 63. 78..... 122..... 89....... 64... 26. 46.. 80.......... 110......... 89.. 44... 74. 115. 37..... 78......... 116..5.......... 78 forgiveness.. 89 fear 1...

9............ 109... 30.... 127 hypersuggestible ... 56.......... 60. 47. 6... 78... 102.. ii .. 37 self-esteem ..... 119 neuro-linguistic programming ................32 hypnotherapy .... 32. 13. 50. 84.....35 goal ..... 128... 94.. 74....fulfillment . 119..... 79...... 43..... 43.............. 114. 79... 89......... 58.... 39... 7. 35.......11...... 57. 121 snapshot ...... 28........... 95..... 101...... 107............. 35................... 57. 67.... 127........ 27....... 53.. 128 Richard Bandler .................... 6. 67....... 57........... 76....... 46. 56.. 39.32 illness 36..............84 Jill Ammon-Wexler ..... 59..... 53......... 79......... 47.. 37.. 99.... 49.......... 38. 29..... 2.... 65.... 47... 63.. 21. 6...... 39............ 59. 93 message units . 105................ 77..76 Hridaya Yoga....7.... 22. 38....28 John Grinder ...... 53...... 78.. 120. 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer . 42... 53.. 37............... 78. 37 powerless .......... 87 lose weight 4..... 30... 84 panic attacks........................ 129 resentment........... 88..... 36 Guilt .. 123.. 66.......... 37. 10.10............. 5.... 103........ 115....... 83.. 77. 78....... 47..... 54..... 10..... 125. 51... 22. 117....8... 36..... 116....... 118 Gary Craig .... 37. 50.... 110. 78... 122......... 112...... 37..... 75.... 43. 77..... 69.. 6............ 108 Parkinson’s disease....... 26. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. 118.......... 22.. 83 Robert Dilts.... 58............... 22......... 38..... 77...... 32.. 42.. 8. 15...... 89.. 83 Roger Callahan ...... 118 self-talk ............ 37.. 79...1... 87. 13.. 4. 109.. 107...... 25....54 Irina Wardas . 129 grief.10............... 40. 63. 78.. 54. 86. 110.... 117 medicine. 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003...... 81.................. 58...... 43...... 122 Ida Kendall ... 22........ 36. 121 relationships24......... 129 heart disease............... 88.8 hypnosis ..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology. 56 hurt.. 23. 1....83 John Kappas.......... 64.. 43...40. 77......... 86.. 6 Pat Dennis....... 94 mood swings . 92... 59. 8.. 120..... 94. 9. 110....37.... 54.. 44. 9.....5..... 78. 5.........30 high blood pressure.... Woods . 107 healing ............. 65.. 109... 56.. 28... 5........ 116 happiness . 120 relaxation ..... 35. 118......................... 127.. 59............ 45. 31..3......... 6..... 17 Janet Luhrs...................83 Law of Attraction.... 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine ... 53. 77.. 21. 56.. 19. 10................ 59....... 89 phobias. 78............ 29. 130 Judith DeLozier . 76........ 7...... 77... 113 prosperity . 6.. 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice. 76..... 3.... 37......... 99.5...... 105 Jane C. 27... 83 overload ... 71 life force. 53. 115.... 85........ 57.... 57 neural interconnections . 55... 60........ 54................ 77. 125 immune suppression .. 86.. 95....... 78 NLP.... 21.. 58... 29 neuro pathways .... 32.. 16...12 habit ......... 14..... 89...... 34.. 47... 107......... 67. 44................ 32 phobia ............... 79...... 64.. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis.. 5........ 10.7..36 joy ... 58. 30 passive-aggressive ...... 78..... 30.... 79... 115 smoking.... 46... 113... 42... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute ........................................................ 101 self-image ... 57...... 47. 87.... 119.. 10..... 37. 54. 113..... 77.............. 86 habits......2. 58.... 7..9.......................... 32... 77.... 109.. 33... 52...... 43.. 34. 103......... 93. 114 imagery .............24... 30.. 125 men .. 58....10............. 79.. 21........ 15. 26.... 57...... 83 nitric oxide .. 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking ... 111.......... 122 Harvard .......... 101...... 56... 87. 58...........

.....Stephen Gilligan ..53 transformation........... 57...... 85............ 79.. 59. 36.................... 65.. 109 triggers . 21....... 116 Women.. 114 weight ..... 60....... 6........44............... 46........... 91........ 125. 38... 110 Two Futures ...28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis .. 101....... 124 © Copyright 2003..57 stress hormones .. 10... 48...... 122. 120 yummy list . 5.... 85.. 8.........83 Stephen Kosslyn .. 7... 128 subconsciously......... 111 victimhood . 114 triggering event ... 115........... 118.. 29........ 37....... 5........ 113..... 95.... 47... 95. 45..... 34.................... 59.......... 37. 120 suicide................ 77............... 107..........5.. 26............. 22...... 112.. 56..... 77........ 84....... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 122 zeal........................ 43.. 80................... 6.......... 78.... 75........... 77............ 114 visualization. 109...... 47.. 37.......................... 94..... 30...... 2..6..... 58...4...107 trigger. 121 value areas of life................. 39. 30.... 79 thought habits ............ 106 wounds iii ...... 78................. 77............. 34.... 78 subconscious................. 7.. 44....... 109.................... 6.

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