An A-Z Guide to Renewing and Reclaiming Your Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

Realize Your Full Potential:
An A-Z Guide to Renewing and ReclaimingYour Life

By Linda Simmon C.Ht.

… and in order of appearance: Jane C. Woods Heather Askinosie Irinia Wardas Dawn Abraham Mollie Marti, Ph.D.

… not forgetting Terence Kierans, Cyberspace Virtual Services for making everything work and look the way it should.


There are so many people without whom this book really would not have been possible. First of all, my contributing authors Jane C. Wood, Heather Askinosie, Irinia Wardas, Dawn Abraham and Mollie Marti, Ph.D., thank you each of you. In addition, Nancy Nolen and my daughter Shannon for proofreading and making suggestions, Toni Ermini for indexing, Pam Mossman and Alice Kaveciyan for moral support when I needed it most. Thank you my friends and my colleagues I cannot tell you how much your contributions, help and support have meant to me. Finally, thank you TK, for keeping me sane with your knowledge, expertise and practicality. If it weren’t for you I don’t know what I would have done.

Give your body and mind the opportunity to surprise you. Do any practice exercise you wish and then immediately after the exercise listen to one of the downloadable sessions you received as a gift. I have included articles and advice from some pretty amazing people. my hope here is to introduce you to a variety of thoughts and ideas that have worked in the past to help people and in order to do that. Each of you is a separate and unique miracle of electrical impulses. feelings. when given the proper instructions. thoughts and ideas that have worked to help people change their lives. My goal is to give you the knowledge and tools needed to help you accomplish this change. Try the techniques and exercises you find here until you find the one or several that resonate within yourself. This will “set” the exercise and ideas into your subconscious increasing their effectiveness. the change you are seeking can occur when you least expect it. Give yourself the true gift of allowing your body to completely relax by taking a moment to think about what you have just read and the exercise you have just done then listen to your session. Incorporating hypnosis into any exercise will increase the effectiveness of that exercise. As I said before.My hope with this book is to introduce you to a variety of theories. . I hope you enjoy reading what they have shared here as much as I have. Keep in mind that sometimes you are not immediately aware of the full scope of the healing changes that are taking place. The subconscious constantly and continuously processes information received that you are not consciously aware of and because of this. neuro pathways. and as such no two people will have the same result from any healing modality. emotions and perceptions.

..................................26 DIETING ......15 CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE ...................... F..............34 ENERGY .......................... ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS.................................................................................32 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)................................................. E...................................................................3 AFFIRMATIONS..... ANXIETY..........................................3 ANGER .........................37 FEAR ...................................................................................... FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING ............5 ANXIETY .TABLE OF CONTENTS A ABUNDANCE. AFFIRMATIONS........................................ D...................... FEAR....32 EMOTIONS..37 FABULOUS ..............................18 COMMUNICATION ................................................................................................................................. COMMUNICATIONS CHANGE............1 ADDICTION ........................... DRUGS TO ESCAPE .....................................8 BALANCE .......................... EMOTIONS..... C........................................................ BEREAVEMENT ...............................................29 DRUGS TO ESCAPE .................21 DEPRESSION............................46 SMART GOALS ...... FORGIVENESS............................................................................................ ENERGY .................8 CHANGE..........................43 GOALS ....... DIETING..1 ABUNDANCE .................................................26 DEPRESSION ............7 BALANCE...........................................................................35 FABULOUS...................................................................................... ANGER......................................................................... CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE............................42 FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE ................................................. ADDICTION.............................................31 EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE)....................................40 FOCUS ............................................................8 BEREAVEMENT ...................................... FOCUS.. G....................2 ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS ......................................46 B................................................................................................................................................................................................ ...........................

................................... LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS..................................65 LAW OF ATTRACTION ......................................................68 LUCK ......................................................... LIFE.67 LOVE.......54 INTUITION...................................78 PAIN..... J...............78 OVERLOADED LIFE .............. K........................................................................63 KARMA .........................................65 LIFE..69 MALE DEPRESSION..83 QUANTUM MANIFESTING .................52 IMAGERY..........................................82 PROSPERITY .......................................................................................................................................................................................80 PERCEPTION .........................................................................................................54 IMAGERY...........80 PAIN............................................................................................................ LUCK ..................... PHOBIAS................. KISMET ........51 HYPNOSIS.................... INTUITION.......................................63 KISMET ..... ......56 JEALOUSY .49 HEALING ........... LOVE......... PERCEPTION........................................................70 MIND-BODY CONNECTION................. MIND-BODY CONNECTION..............................................................84 I.......59 JEALOUSY.............. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA)..................59 KARMA.................................................................49 HEART FIRE ..........................................................................................................H................................................................................................................................................................................................................. P........................70 MALE DEPRESSION................................. N.......................................................................................... HEALING........................................................... MIND SUCCESS .................................... PROSPERITY .................81 PHOBIAS ..............................................................................................77 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING .......... Q.73 NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP)......................................... M. HYPNOSIS.............. O..63 LAW OF ATTRACTION.................................................................. L...77 OVERLOAD............72 MIND SUCCESS .....................................................................

......108 WEIGHT ..................... RITUALS FOR SUCCESS.... RELEASING......................102 VALUE AREAS OF LIFE................................................ iii ..........................................................................................99 TIMELINE THERAPY .................104 VISUALIZATION ...........106 WEIGHT..................................................................................................94 SELF CONFIDENCE............................................................................................................................................................114 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT ...............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................113 TWO FUTURES ........94 STRESS ......................... Z............................. U........................................................... DRINKER................................ V.........103 VALUE AREAS............................................. STUCK ...................................................117 POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS............... STRESS (INCLUDING DESTRESS).......... ii........................... WORDS........................................ X..........................108 WORDS..................................................101 TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY ....................... YUMMY LIST ....................110 WOUNDS (EMOTIONAL WOUNDS).........................................86 RELATIONSHIPS ....R.. W...................................................116 S...................................101 UNCONDITIONAL LOVE............................................ WOUNDS ...89 SELF-CONFIDENCE........................................................88 RITUALS FOR SUCCESS ..........................................122 INDEX ....................96 STUCK ..................103 VICTIMHOOD ..... EXERCISES ......... SELF-TALK..................................................94 SELF-TALK............................... T...........86 RELEASING .................95 DE-STRESS YOUR LIFE.................................... BINGER ETC ................................113 YOUR LIFE SCRIPT....111 X SMOKER............................................. VISUALIZATION.....................................................................................................114 ZEAL ............. i..................114 YUMMY LIST .............................. VICTIMHOOD........... Y..................................... RELATIONSHIPS......

As a result.A ABUNDANCE. Even when we know we have this tool. a life that is rich and full. ANXIETY ABUNDANCE Abundance isn’t just about money or possessions. ANGER. Maybe you’ve carried that old baggage around long enough. your future is a place that you are creating each and every moment of each day. It is our perception of any event. AFFIRMATIONS. we can start to believe that it is our destiny to feel frustrated and dissatisfied to such an extent that when an opportunity for change does come along. but in reality you have the power to take control of your thoughts and perceptions and live the life you dream of. activity or situation that determines whether we consider it a positive or negative experience. At the core of an abundant life is the ability to control and direct your thoughts. excitement and yes. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. money and success. © Copyright 2003. indeed. Perhaps it is easier to place the blame for all the negativity in our lives on someone or something else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. addictions and negative behaviors of those around you or even your own past. even worse. Whether we consider ourselves to be happy or sad. we can get used to feeling frustrated and it is easy to imagine and slip into the negative thought that we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in activities that we want to do or live the life that we’ve dreamed of. occurrence. In order to make changes. fulfilling and joyful life that is filled with everything you want and desire but especially. ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS. satisfying. think we are making progress or stagnating. and it is this very ability that may be the most powerful tool each of us has at our disposal to shape and guide our present and our future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You create your reality each and every day with your thoughts. The future. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims. it is filled with laughter. Fear of change. we’ve gotten so wrapped up in survival that we just don’t see it or if we do see it. sometimes we simply choose not to use it. Maybe it’s time to get rid of it and live the life you were meant to live filled with prosperity and abundance. Because of this. usually as a result of fear. however. fear of success. incident. ADDICTION. fear of failure. you need to look at the limiting themes that have repeated themselves in your 1 . having an abundant life means you are living a rich. love. we don’t trust it to be real. Life often requires us to do things we don’t want to and things we don’t enjoy doing.

which is basically an association that has formed around the ritual of the activity. alcohol. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. it can be a very dangerous belief to hold. At the end of this section on addiction I will give you information on several other programs that have a higher success rate. if you or someone you love have tried 12-step programs and not been satisfied with the results. you do have a choice. at least while they are using their drug. if you truly want to be successful must deal with the initial pain.e. keep doing that habit and you develop an addiction. and life just gets better and better. Twelve step programs can be a tremendous help. The key is to find the program or system that works best for you and it may not be what has worked for anybody else that you know. Frequently this choice was made because of something in their past that they are running away from. The drug they choice to use deadens the feeling. Choose to control your vibrational response to anything and anyone and you change your life. the more connected you feel. statistics show that only about 5% of the population successfully beats their addiction through 12-step programs. People without strong desires slowly whither away. the more vibrant and alive you become. cocaine. It is this flow of desire that creates a vibrational tempo within you. heroin or whatever is not only wrong. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to be. or who will encourage you to go through the steps you need to in order to be successful. the fact is that the majority of people who become addicts made the choice to become an addict. It is important though. A tempo that is magnetic. While it may be true that a very small percentage of the population who take that first step just keep going apparently having no control over it.The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Something so painful that they believe they cannot stand to feel the pain for one moment longer. so. Your first step. helps them suppress the pain. who you can call when you feel you might 2 . Do something regularly and you develop a habit. Unfortunately while a person is “high” they are in a super suggestible state and that strengthens and intensifies the associations and triggers that are being formed with each occasion of use. The more you allow the energy of desire to flow through you. i. in reality this simply is not the case for the majority of the population. however. to find a support group of people who don’t judge you. ADDICTION The belief that addicts simply have an allergy to their drug of choice. Allow that desire to flow through you. As unpopular and harsh as this may sound. Unfortunately. Each of you is unique and that is the real key to success with anything you do. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. however.. If you do not take the © Copyright 2003. no matter what program you are going through. at least for a while.

www. “None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living their life. the underlying need to use is removed and the program you have chosen to help you can then be truly effective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. A friend of mine once told me. so.” Brisa Zas ALTERNATIVE PROGRAMS: Remember there is no one program that works for every person just as there is no one therapist or doctor for everyone. You can become a non-addict and never look back with the right help. However. you will forever remain an 3 . the addict.habitdoc. will indeed spend the rest of your life having to take it “one day at a time”. When you face this pain that you have been running www. don’t really use affirmations in the best way possible. Many people. you will never have control of your addiction and will always face the possibility of slipping. if it is not done. If you tell yourself over and over again that you are an addict.time and make the effort to heal that initial hurt. The sooner we realize and accept that. and those days actually can get harder because the longer you don’t use.practicalrecovery. but sometimes in order to do that it has to be faced and this isn’t an easy thing to do. Here are a few alternative programs for you to consider if you are not satisfied with what you have been doing or where you have been www. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. it is learned behavior and you are not powerless to fight www. though. here are some suggestions for working with affirmations: © Copyright 2003. You do have the power to fight it! AFFIRMATIONS Affirmations are a powerful tool to have in your arsenal for any self-help and selfimprovement work that you want to do. then you. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our The major difference between these other programs and AA is the belief that your addiction is not a disease. the closer to the surface this pain will rise. but you don’t have to. The mind knows it has to be resolved and healed.secularsobriety. I agree with this school of thought. We all have special needs and requirements and no program or expert can fill them for all of us.

If you say something like “I’m going to quit smoking. Don’t simply say something like “I have a new car”. • State your affirmations in the present tense because your subconscious takes everything you say literally. Don’t let fear hold you back. But if it makes you feel a little uncomfortable. “I have a new red sports car with a sunroof and air conditioning and an awesome stereo system. If you aren’t getting a jolt then you are playing it safe and letting fear hold you back again. • Always remember this. then that means you are on the right track.” • State your affirmations in the positive. that’s like moving uphill.” Or “I will lose weight. When you do this. the steering wheel of your car.• Say and/or write your affirmations out several times a day. actually take a moment to visualize what you are saying or writing. Since your subconscious is such a powerful and excellent tool for creating reality.” • Your affirmation should make you feel as if you just got a small little electrical shock. remind yourself to say your affirmations by posting them on your bathroom mirror. your computer. “I handle my daily stress easily and in healthy ways” rather than “ I won’t smoke when I’m under stress.” rather than “I don’t want to be with anyone who makes me miserable again. You’ve chosen something too easy to acquire. • Be specific. when what you really mean is. This is especially true and necessary as you move further and further away from fear and your goals and desires get bigger and better. 4 . then you’ve picked an affirmation that isn’t right for you. • Revise your affirmations often and as needed to make sure they fit your current desires and goals. always focus on what you want to move towards.” the message sent to your mind. When you move towards what you want. your refrigerator or anyplace that you have to look at regularly. Affirmations work best when you visualize the reality for yourself each time you use them. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Always create an image of what you want in your life. You are working to re-program your subconscious mind with new information and positive thoughts. it is like moving downhill and when you are moving away from things that you don’t want. be clear and exact about the reality you say you want. not what you want to avoid. You want your subconscious to believe without a doubt that it is happening right now so use phrases like “I am a non-smoker” or “I am 20 pounds thinner and fit. the reality created is that you will get to these things someday. If necessary. but not necessarily that you are doing it right now. If it doesn’t make you slightly uncomfortable or you don’t feel a little jolt when you first say it. there is no limit to what you can be or do or have.” Or say. © Copyright 2003. So say something like “I am in a happy and exciting relationship.” Think of how much easier it is to walk downhill than uphill.

If you see yourself as a victim. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. Even if we bury anger deep inside. going from one trauma to the next. The same thing applies to guilt and hurt. A constant state of anger can do real physical harm. it can be just as damaging. So. In addition. although they are processed through our conscious and subconscious minds differently. shaking. you may blame others for your situation or condition. fatigue. You can become narcissistic and only care about your feelings. The psychological effect of anger can be just as deadly to us as the physical effects. feeling powerless and never facing up to your part in contributing to your situation or condition. People who see themselves as a victim frequently become crisis-ridden. alcoholism. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. anger is the most common response. then anger becomes a serious health risk. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. and in small doses can be a good thing. coldness and putdowns to attack anyone you feel has deserved it. anger will frequently kick in because anger is a far easier emotion to experience. When this is the case. But some people seem to be angry all the time. and heart palpitations. along with 5 . hurt. what exactly does make us angry? How about loss of our self-esteem. crying. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. but the damage done to others can take years to heal.ANGER Anger can feel like an empowering emotion. When this occurs it is far too easy for you to then become the perpetrator using sarcasm. eating disorders. (See Words and Sound Therapy) © Copyright 2003. cold hands. Our body processes both of these emotions in the same way. resentment. You may feel self-righteous and justified in attacking anyone you feel has done you harm. It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. Holding onto anger. drug abuse and depression. When a relationship ends. looking for justice and revenge. The physical response to anger is similar to that of fear: dry mouth. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We feel that somehow we have failed ourselves or have been humiliated either by something we ourselves have done or something that was done to us by another. you may see yourself as an avenger. hostility. In situations that cause fear. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. can lead to serious food addictions. If you don’t see yourself as a victim. Not only is this destructive to you.

you will be able to bring up the images when you need them most. Studies have tied chronic anger to diseases linked with weakened immune systems (perhaps resulting from anger’s escalating effect on stress hormones). The type of thinking which can undermine your self-confidence and take all the joy out of your life. Women were not given that same benefit and as a result are more apt to turn their anger into selfcriticism or turn it inward. Counseling can help you from falling victim to your own anger. You could find yourself intentionally irritating. fear and hurt. society tended to allow men to express their anger openly. and can lead to serious food addictions. many of the related diseases that were found in a much higher percentage in men are rising in women as they experience higher and higher levels of anger.In situations where you feel discounted and ignored. coronary disease. and if you want to take a proactive approach to anger. Unfortunately. forgiveness is letting go of your own suffering and your own pain and it is an ongoing process. and stubborn. you may turn your anger into self-criticism that in turn can lead to depression. alcohol and drug abuse. A growing body of research increasingly shows the connection between constant anger and disease. Remember. If you feel powerless. These gender roles are rapidly changing and women are more and more expressing their anger openly. cancer. not only the anger you might hold within yourself. © Copyright 2003. Forgiveness is different than saying “I lose” or “I was wrong” and it does not mean that you will ever allow or condone the behavior or injustice to occur again. Power and anger are frequently 6 . you may express your anger by becoming passive-aggressive. and depression. People who feel that they are in control of their lives experience less anger than those who feel powerless. expressing your anger in an indirect way. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. With enough practice you don’t even have to lay down or close your eyes. however. In the past. Also. This is that negative self-talk that can fill your head with things like “what if” or “if only”. releasing your anger. bitterness. It will sit and fester and slowly but surely destroy anything good in your life. and even increased workplace injuries. sarcastic. You don’t need to be held hostage to your anger. and can help make you more content. It is an imagery that with a little practice you can do anyplace. suicide. By not dealing directly with your sources of anger. read Hridaya Yoga and practice the visualization exercise I’ve given you there. that perhaps the strongest poison to the human spirit and body is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. When I say “forgive” I mean letting go. it will never go away. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. but anger that may be directed at you by others.

fear or anxiety. This also occurs when a person is in an altered state of consciousness due to the use of prescription and/or illegal drugs and alcohol. etc. Also. Unfortunately in a stressful and uncontrolled environment and in this hypersuggestible state. flying. It is important to remember that we all experience periods of stress and anxiety on a daily basis in one form or another. if the individual can learn to think of their own adrenalin release as excitement rather than anxiety or nervousness they can remove much of the fear and anxiety associated with the physical sensations of such an adrenalin release. driving a car. fear or anxiety. If these emotional and physical symptoms are associated with any particular event (such as going outside. Fears. As more and more doctors and patients are beginning to recognize that mental states and emotional and physical well-being are connected. By understanding the possible relationship of blood sugar levels to the anxiety and balancing those levels with diet can reduce or eliminate many of the physical sensations thus eliminating one major contributing trigger to that phobia.). anxiety. weakness. mood swings. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. phobias and anxieties are one of those areas that lends itself to treatment with hypnosis. This is what I mean by hypersuggestibility when that term is used. Many anxieties show a direct link to a drop in blood sugar which can cause physical and emotional symptoms and may include dizziness. hypnosis continues to be used more frequently. By reducing hypersuggestibility with the aid of hypnosis and then using suggestions that they will no longer experience the fear or anxiety that has been bothering them will eventually relieve or eliminate the phobia. anything and everything that is heard or observed drops much more easily into the subconscious and then becomes much more influential than it normally would.ANXIETY Anxieties and fears generally develop from an unknown primary cause through an association with something else. These fears and anxieties tend to develop in adulthood and the person suffering from them can feel vague and unclear about how they stared and are aware that their reactions are irrational. an individual can start to associate those symptoms with that specific event and a vicious cycle ensues. shakiness. © Copyright 2003. nausea. cravings for sweets and/or a general inability to function normally. being home alone. It is during times of stress that we become hypersuggestible. The trigger (which is usually non-threatening itself) is frequently buried in the subconscious and over time an association with the fear or anxiety develops later at a moment of extreme stress or 7 . The repetitive cycle of blood sugar drops alternating with adrenaline increases (from the fear or anxiety or even simply the body’s effort to balance the blood sugar drop) can create tremendous physical and psychological stress.

joy and fulfillment are as unique as each of us and what gives you joy will be different than what gives me or anybody else joy. Have you spent a lifetime hearing how you “should” act or who you “should” be? Someone I loved once asked me how he could find what he needed to be happy. This was also frustrating for me because the advice I had given him had worked in the past. He told me that he’d basically spent his whole life thinking that if he could just have who or what made another person happy. If he could have the girl everybody wanted or the car or the sound system or the job or the clothes or the toys that someone else either had or wanted. place or thing that can make you 8 . right? Yes and no. There isn’t another person. getting involved with a church. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if each of us could also find this same sort of balance. a perfect balance. There is a line in that movie when Will Smith is talking to Matt Daman and it goes something like this: © Copyright 2003. it didn’t work. BEREAVEMENT BALANCE Two days a year. The problem was. Ask yourself does balance exist within you? Or have you become a prisoner of a perceived image of who you are.B BALANCE. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. So he spent years studying and reading self-help books. Why not use the Equinox as a guidepost? Nature gives us guideposts and road signs all the time if we’ll just open our eyes and our minds and at least twice a year when we have an Equinox. No one can tell you how to be happy. that happiness must come from within ourselves. But then I had an epiphany while watching a great movie “The Legend of Beggar Vance”. But not my friend and I simply didn’t know what to suggest. then it would make him happy as well. I told him the usual stuff. Using hypnosis to clear away the garbage that we all accumulate over time helps to give us clarity. Good advice. Just think about that a moment. Each and every person shares this same experience twice a year on the Spring and Fall Equinox. and I think I might have found at least part of the answer for my friend and those with a similar problem. Happiness. let them be a reminder to look inside. It can’t depend on “something” or “someone” outside ourselves. And with this clarity most people find the direction they need to take or what it is that will give them joy. These two days we all share this equality of dark and light. whether it is your perception or the perception of someone else. Sometimes we need reminders. you know. then he’d really truly be happy. there isn’t a set formula for finding your joy. Twelve hours of day and night. every person on earth experiences a perfectly balanced 24 hours. talking to friends and counselors and the bottom line was that he still wasn’t happy and didn’t know what would make him happy. No matter what you hear.

BEREAVEMENT Coping with Loss and Bereavement By Jane C. working for you. Get out of your own way and let your unique and special joy. they allow the subconscious to grow strong. Use them to help you clear away the overabundance of message units. This is most effective when the suggestions are being given to you rather than you trying to do this all by yourself. sometimes you just need to get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. They allow you to clear out the old.“There’s a perfect shot out there just looking for you. job or whatever you are seeking. lover. goal. desire. the build up of trash and to help put yourself into a completely relaxed state of mind where healing can take place. It will. hurt or depressed it will affect our thoughts. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I learned this with my clients several years ago and it is the reason why I developed my recorded sessions. This is one reason why this book has also included two free downloadable fulfillment and life find you. the right kind of suggestions. You are able to access your subconscious. stop thinking it to death. you give your subconscious “permission” to fix what might be broken. Whether it’s an emotion. Strive to balance the dark and light within yourself. That means stop analyzing everything so Introduction I have written this article in response to requests to offer some support and advice in this difficult area. our voice. and in doing so. But even more than that. No matter how hard we may try. if we are angry. you are able to open your mind more easily to suggestions. get rid of the trash and make room for the thoughts and ideas that you want running through your mind. jane@changingpeople. happiness. They work because the voice you hear isn’t being affected by what you are feeling. the moment you let it! The easiest way to quiet the chatter in your head is by putting yourself into a relaxed state where you feel safe and comfortable. all you have to do is get yourself out of your own way so that it can find you. helping you to get yourself out of your own way. Silence those nagging voices in your own head that can keep you up at night. to balance the light and dark within yourself. In this state. feeling. Recorded and live sessions with a hypnotherapist whether they are over the phone or face to face work AND they work faster and quicker than anything 9 .” I realized that’s the problem and the answer. but the recorded voice can’t be affected by any of that. stop trying to live your life the way someone else thinks you should or trying to live the life that someone else has. Woods. even the words we use. I am primarily talking about loss associated with bereavement but © Copyright 2003.

Also pay attention to their other needs such as having food in the house. When the shock is immense then sometimes the bereaved may actually experience physical symptoms or trauma requiring medical intervention. for example. And also understanding more can help us offer comfort to others. and in my own personal experiences of the deaths of loved ones. everyone experiences grief in their own way and what follows is not a recipe or short cut. If you are reading this having suffered a loss please accept my sympathies. It is an immutable part of the human condition. I can’t describe a typical response because there isn’t one as such. We’re likely to experience this even if we have been expecting it. But by and large we all follow a similar psychological processes. and generally we prefer not to think about it. but you are still likely to experience shock as your first emotion. just a little. © Copyright 2003. To a degree that can be true. Intellectually we know the end is inevitable but it’s as if our hearts are hearing it for the first time. letting relevant people know. Knowing that our responses are ‘normal’ can be a comfort. If the loss is totally unexpected then the shock can be tremendous. Throughout this article there are also useful tips for offering support to the bereaved. I have found in my experiences of working professionally with the bereaved. and so on. and the circumstances of the death can have a huge impact on how we experience our grief.the intensity and duration may differ. you must do what is right for you. If your particular expression of grief does not follow this pattern then that is perfectly OK. And how you experience it on one occasion is not necessarily how you will experience it 10 . There is little anyone offering support can do at this stage except just ‘be there’ for anyone going through it. pushing the thoughts to the recesses of our minds. Shock Our first response to news of a death is usually shock.any deep and significant loss in life can produce a similar response in us . but knowing it does not make it any easier to endure. Listening to the bereaved can be of help as their talk allows the awful fact to become reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. That said. and it is those common elements I am exploring in this article. Others less close to events may find this hard to understand and may assume that our prior knowledge has readied us for the loss. that understanding some of the processes of grieving and mourning can actually help. expressed in different ways according to our uniqueness as individuals. However. when someone has been ill for a long time and we may have already begun our grieving (anticipatory grieving). Once we get to a certain stage in life it is inevitable that we will experience the death of loved ones and have to endure the associated pain involved.

we may be compelled to visit the scene. We may direct the anger inwards towards ourselves in the form of guilt. a normal response. Some enlightened doctors know. we may need to be told several times. It may be that the anger then gets misdirected towards those who are offering us comfort. recognizing it and naming it. uncaring. by hearing the facts and gently repeating them when appropriate. that they rarely hear past the initial few sentences. The more we try to suppress this feeling the more distress it can cause us as we feel it to be unreasonable. We may need 11 . © Copyright 2003. or for feeling angry. “If I do this. and so have begun recording the consultation so that they may listen to it later when they are ready to absorb the information. it will make this news/event/horror go away” even if it is obvious that it cannot happen. You may feel shocked by what they say in the depths of their grief but try not to show it. For example. Bargaining A bargaining phase was described by Dr. this anger can sometimes be directed at the person who has died. This is where someone less involved can offer help. If you are offering comfort to someone try not to be dismissive of their feelings of guilt. when they are breaking bad news to patients.Denial A second common response. punishing ourselves for what we did or did not do. It is very normal and common to feel anger after loss and. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or those suffering alongside us. is a refusal to believe the news. we may need to see the person themselves if possible. once the first shock waves have abated. It is helpful if you can share this feeling with someone. encourage them to try and put it into words and then gently you can help them explore it further. and just plain wrong. if indeed we recognize it for what it is. Anger & Guilt In my experience this is often the least known fact of the grieving process and the manifestation or appearance of which causes the most anguish. These feelings may be entirely irrational but they are normal. Often that is enough. She noted that part of the process of grieving sometimes involved a sort of plea bargaining on the part of the person experiencing the loss. In extreme cases this phase of denial can last a while and need specialist help. Our brains (or maybe that’s our hearts again) seem somehow to want to try and protect us for a little longer by refusing to process the news. Guilt is a common reaction to loss. It is unrealistic but again. If the feeling is persisting beyond the funeral it can hinder the healing process of grieving so it may be worth considering some sessions with a bereavement counselor. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in her work with terminally ill patients. Reassure them that this is a normal reaction and that they are not monsters for feeling it. Help them tell you their feelings. We probably feel unable to share this emotion. disconcertingly. It may last a very short space of time (minutes) or much longer.

in Victorian Britain there was a very formal set period of mourning. like fundraising for a particular charity. I have lost someone significant in my life’. even perhaps depressed. If there is some unfinished business you can write a letter to the person saying the things you never got to say. If you are trying to help © Copyright 2003. There are other nonreligious things we can do during this intense period of loss that can bring comfort and help us through the grieving processes. although be careful not to confuse being intensely sad with 12 . Or perhaps you could create a scrapbook or photographic collage about the person. At times of great stress we sometimes turn back to a faith we have grown up with but perhaps abandoned. If we have a faith the ceremonies associated with this can bring us great comfort as can our beliefs in what happens beyond death. Ideas That May Help Lack of these formal traditions has led many to create their own which can be just as valid and significant. You may choose to write about your loved one in a journal. or take it to a favourite spot and both literally and metaphorically. just let it go. There can be comfort too in channeling some of your feelings into a cause that was close to their heart. The absence of it can leave us not quite knowing how to behave. When my grandmother died I remember my mother keeping the curtains closed and wearing a black armband for some time afterwards. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I am not suggesting a return to this rigidity of approach as we’re all unique and all need to find our own way. Humans of all cultures have created ceremonies throughout time to help mark significant events and to recognize that something has changed. In times gone by we had a much more proscribed way of managing the aftermath of a death. To overstep this was considered an act of disrespect. This may feel a bit daft at first but it is your personal ritual so do what feels right for you. Once it is written you may decide just to burn it. when our behaviour. I sometimes describe it as the bitter sweetness of grief. (like marriage ceremonies) so creating some of your own can be therapeutic. for the familiar feelings of security and comfort it brings us. or have a simple vase engraved with their name which you keep full of fresh flowers as your own private tribute. if we hadn’t had the sweet gift of loving or caring for someone then we wouldn’t have the bitter taste of grief. You cannot short circuit this process. how to manage our grief. For example. The wearing of an arm band said ‘I am in mourning so don’t expect me to be as I usually am. was decreed. At the time I didn’t appreciate the significance of this but those two symbols sent a very clear message to others about what had happened. but at these difficult times in our lives ritual can be important and help us through. create an appropriate memorial in his or her honour.Depression or Intense Sorrow As the reality of the loss sets in we become very low. it is painful but the raw intensity of it will pass. and even our clothing.

It means learning to live a life without them that is different from what went before. The power of touch can be very healing so maybe a neck and shoulder massage will be beneficial. ask them. This is normal and healthy and does not mean you have become hardened to the loss or are showing disrespect. This does not mean forgetting them. You are probably not eating properly and you may rely on other less healthy ways of trying to numb the pain. try to pay attention to yourself and look after your physical needs. © Copyright 2003. If you are someone who regularly takes vitamins and health supplements you will possibly let this lapse. and this will of course vary from person to person. However hard it is. the burden of grief is lifting slightly and you begin to feel a little like the person you used to be before your loss. Pay Attention to Your Health During the period of grief and mourning you are very susceptible to ill health. you have been making progress through the mourning process and making small adjustments to cope with the loss. You probably won’t be able to look back and say it happened on a particular day. Experiment At some point. which can be a comfort. So. we experiment with new ways of behaving. Let close friends offer you comfort. perhaps with a guilty stab of surprise. People want to help but they often don’t know how.a friend or relative through the grieving process maybe this is something you could offer to do with them. we begin to move on. you have managed to go a whole half day without that acute consciousness of loss or even thinking about the 13 . If you need a hug. But actually. You may belong to a culture which has a set way of behaving during this time. You may find. be it with a handshake or a hug. Rather you gradually realize that the intensity has lessened. An important part of the process of mourning is learning to live with the altered circumstances that you find yourself in. Maybe it’s something as simple as driving a new route or cooking in a way you like but they didn’t. however it feels. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. in this phase. Timing The length of time we grieve and mourn varies from individual to individual and circumstance to circumstance. such as excessive use of alcohol. not in any sense. During this period of adjustment you will have good days and bad days and days when it feels like you are back to square one. you never go right back to the beginning. Mourning is learning to let go of the person you have lost. feeling there is no point.

a hand on someone’s arm can convey your sympathies more than words. or you may decide to remind no one and keep your feelings to yourself. we have lost many of our traditions around grief and 14 . whether for you personally. or for you it may need to be a day you are working and busy.Possibly you may be offered pharmaceutical help by your doctor. If you can. take medical advice. You may need to make sure it’s day you are not working. ritual can be helpful at this time. or an offer of help with the shopping. surrounded by people. Literally. that can leave us feeling awkward and ill at ease around people who have experienced loss. You may decide to spend anniversaries with other people who shared your loss. Helping In Western culture. or in giving you more confidence to offer support to others. but just be aware that there is no magic pill and weigh up your options. But don’t let fear hold you back from acts of common humanity. be it taking some homemade food round. a card sincerely written. We all feel awkward when confronted with another’s pain and it sometimes seems better to say nothing rather than risk saying the wrong thing. at work maybe when someone is absorbed in their task. Anniversaries The year following a death can be full of painful ‘firsts’. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Take that risk and extend the hand of caring and support. Make your peace with that and all will be well. Again. Conclusion There are no shortcuts and your experience of grief will not necessarily follow the patterns described. Grief can make us feel very alone and avoiding someone who is bereaved only intensifies this. try and avoid this as it will only succeed in numbing you to pain. I will never forget working with a young woman who had lost her child. Knowing this can help you plan for it. The first anniversary of the death may be as painful as the event itself was. as I have said. it doesn’t help you through the process and there are no shortcuts. “Everything that has a beginning has an ending.” © Copyright 2003. taking flowers to an appropriate place. Sometimes it’s not appropriate to mention it directly. her distress deepened by neighbours who had taken to crossing the street when they saw her because they didn’t know what to say. I hope it has been helpful however. so we need to use our discretion. or just sharing your memories with a sympathetic audience. Of course. be it lighting candle. Please use the link below to forward it to anyone who might find it helpful.

How to Cope with Change By Jane C. Sometimes. some anecdotal. by not making a decision that involves change and by doing nothing. We are shocked that our world is not staying the same. We don’t believe it is happening and try to ignore it or resist it. Sometimes. even depressed. The Stages of Change © Copyright 2003. Isn’t it far better to be the driving force in your own life? Be proactive in your life. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. we absorb/accept/integrate the change into our lives and get on with it. depending on the change. Then we realize it is happening and get frustrated and cross as it dawns on us that things will change.C CHANGE. some research based. Finally. almost no one likes This phase goes on for ages or not too long. jane@changingpeople. COMMUNICATION CHANGE This Article by Jane Woods deals primarily with change when it is thrust upon us.rather than it managing you! The Short Version! There is a massive amount of literature on the topic. It’s best to find out who they are and delegate/make friends accordingly. depending on the severity of the change. Then we start to think about the change and decide to try out a few ideas to make sense of the change. Use the Smart Goals exercise at the end of the book to help you create your own Smart Goals. This process becomes a bit easier when you incorporate something I call SMART GOALS. you are in effect allowing someone or something else determine what your decision or change will be. You are giving the power to something outside yourself to control your life. Just remember this. Some people embrace change and some resist it. Woods. The amount of information can be overwhelming and not all of it is helpful! I’ll summarize what most of them say for you here: Change is awful when imposed upon us. though it is necessary for us to initiate change in our lives and that can be a very hard thing to do. and some simply telling you how to do In this article I am going to explore how we react and respond to change and give you some advice that works for managing it . CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE. make your own decisions and take control of your thoughts to incorporate the changes your want to 15 . we can get very fed up.

You may just be a bit frustrated or you may be fuming. You are speechless at first. Worse. If you have had to cope with a lot of change in your life recently this might just be the straw that breaks the camel’s back and you may want to explode. © Copyright 2003. You did not have any control over this change and you become more and more fed up as you wonder how you can stand it. I don’t believe it” and cast your eyes around for verification from someone else. apart from the first two) are: Shock Disbelief Frustration/anger Feeling low Experimenting with changed circumstances Going back to being fed up if it doesn’t work. You are feeling bright and chirpy. the stages we go through (and we can go back and forth between them. However. everyone is looking at you and so you sit down and check through your desk to ensure that all your belongings are still there. What is going on? Someone helpfully explains that they decided on a change around in your absence. but as you walk into your open plan office you immediately see that during your absence someone has rearranged the room layout and your desk has been moved! Your first reaction is probably one of shock as you start to walk to your usual spot only to realize that it has been replaced by a state of the art photocopier. For an hour or two you sit there doing your work in a desultory fashion with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Finding they are. A Story Here is a short story about change. One day you arrive at your workplace after a week on 16 . Experimenting again Making a decision to integrate the change into our lives. Depending on how important it is to you where you sit you may be more or less angry. “What?” you say.Obviously that is a rather simplistic view but in essence. you are ever so slightly mollified but then you look up and realize that your view of the door is now obscured. It may ring a bell with you. someone you find especially irritating is now just a few feet away and is already talking nineteen to the dozen to you as you have inadvertently made eye contact and given them permission to speak! Your shoulders slump as it dawns on you what sitting in this new place will be like. Other people in the office are nodding at you in confirmation and your disbelief disappears to be replaced by anger. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

This exercise will help you identify the many skills you have in this area and you will have lots! © Copyright 2003. as you are idly fiddling with the computer screen. Remember to put down all the excellent things you did as well. maybe in June you noticed that you were having more arguments or long silences than usual. Once you have your two lines completed to the best of your ability look again and see if you can spot a strategy emerging. What were you actually feeling at the time? Try and be honest.and survived! Try This A useful exercise to undertake is to think back over changes you have previously experienced and look at the coping strategies you employed then. don’t just focus on the negatives. Can you see how you have previously reacted to change in those two lines? Control Something that usually emerges is that we respond better when we feel we have some control over the change. supposing you have had a difficult separation from a previous partner. Use two different colours if you like. For example. Sometimes we miss the significance of these and don’t always consciously apply these skills and experience to other times of change. angry. NewBeginnings 17 . The top line is for you to record the actual facts of the situation.. It can be difficult to recall exactly how you felt but try. It can be really helpful to look at two changes. one you feel you coped with well and one that was more of a problem for you. and. joy of joys. or confirm your thoughts that the relationship had run its course? Although we tend to follow a pattern in reacting to change it is still differently expressed for each of us.. So. As time goes on we experience more and more change and develop more coping strategies. and by the end of the day you have reasserted a little control over the situation. did it make you sad. vulnerable. By the time you go home you have ‘integrated’ the change to such an extent that it doesn’t even rate a mention when your partner asks how your day was! You have just gone through all the stages associated with change. no one but you is going to see this. yes. but changing jobs may have been a choice you made so adapting was easier. When you changed schools as a child you probably had to because of age or moving house. your lovely spider plant will fit perfectly on the window sill! In a mood of new enthusiasm you make these changes. or determined to make more effort. Underneath is your feelings or emotions line. That is a fact to record on the top line. you realize that you can actually change the angle of your desk which gives you a view of the window and takes you out of eye contact with your talkative colleague. For example. What was the next sequence of events and what did you do? Remember to be factual on the top and look at your feelings at the time below. Begin by drawing two parallel lines on a sheet of paper.But then. You can also put the monitor on the other side of your desk opening up a better view across the office.

expecting the worst and feeling helpless and buffeted by events. even if the action from me is the same and they both experience it at the same time. the darkest hour of the night really is just before the dawn starts. overloaded message units and repressed fears. there is nothing that they can do to alter what is happening. Obviously. something I do might cause one person to smile and feel amused. But as the sun rises. As you release and wash away the darkness of confusion. retreating into yourself and not attempting to exert any control over what was happening. They begin almost imperceptibly. our thoughts. looking for areas where they can influence what is about to happen. ‘It’s just the way I feel’ Or ‘You make me feel so cross’. © Copyright 2003. and therefore our feelings. our responses to change are individual and personal. but we can CHOOSE how we will respond to it. we even notice things that we were blissfully ignorant of before. For example. even if we choose to do nothing! Look again at your feelings line from the previous exercise. Sometimes. the same event can produce entirely different reactions in different people. Were you consciously managing those feelings or were they overwhelming you? If it was period when you were feeling particularly good about yourself it may have been the former. Similarly with our responses to change. we start to see scary shadows in the half-light. We feel and react the way we do because of our experiences in life and the uniqueness of us and because of choices we make. you may have been comparing yourselves unfavourably with others. however. This knowledge that we always have a choice is the single most empowering fact I can share with you! CLARITY AND CONFIDENCE What is the darkest hour of the night? Turns out. light washes over everything bringing a clear view and the scary shadows disappear. You Choose Whatever route we take change will still happen. We sometimes have a tendency to believe that we cannot do anything about how we feel. The same principle applies to you. One may approach it in a positive way. another to frown and feel aggrieved. At first. as the dawn progresses. are funny things. Then. about change are of paramount importance in how we deal with 18 . However. you really can’t even be sure whether it is happening or not. Dawns.Mind Over Matter One of the most common things said to me by people experiencing change is that they feel helpless. no one makes us feel anything. while another may be much more fatalistic. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Actually. If it was a particularly bad time when your self esteem was low.

clumsy. It is clarity that is crucial to accomplishing your goals. see the right path. Sometime we wander into situations that are deceptively debilitating. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is frequently referred to as the Honeymoon phase of a relationship but slowly and gradually after a period of time you find that insults are being directed at you with greater and greater frequency. you drift into a relationship that seems to give you what you need. If you hear over and over that you are stupid. remember “dawn” can and will happen. however. Studies have shown that by practicing repeatedly and often short intervals of visualization. relaxation. Unfortunately. Giving you the feeling of freedom. given enough time and 19 . Even in the middle of your own personal “darkest hour”. a failure or any number of other insulting terms thrown about by a person or people around you (or even by your own negative self-talk). we are sometimes forced into situations that are just bad for us. detailed imprint of what you desire. apprehension and fear. This is when it becomes necessary to some releasing work. need or want. want the right situations and get a very clear and strong image of yourself reaching your dream or goal. inept. you start to believe it yourself.anxiety and emotions. you can gain clarity and build confidence by creating a powerful. When this happens. © Copyright 2003. you are in essence training your mind. Using your subconscious (with the aid of hypnosis) you can reduce the anxiety. For example. you will find that light will flow into your consciousness and fill your mind bringing with it clarity and a clear view as the scary shadows and fears disappear. comfort and clarity that you need to make the changes you want. you do not need to feel this way. They very gradually and subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. Ultimately. A key element in the equation of a fulfilled life and success is clarity. your subconscious must process every bit of information (message units) received no matter of often it hears the same things and since your subconscious considers everything to be a fact until proven otherwise. preparing yourself so that you will actually recognize what your dream or your goal looks like and you will learn what it feels like to have the confidence. confused or fearful. It is times like this (overloaded and overwhelmed) that you cannot “trust” your instincts. They sneak up on us and are detrimental to our esteem. confidence. even our physical health and well being. Be absolutely clear about what you want. If you are starting to feel anxious. resolve and clarity you need to reach this dream or goal. it uses your time and energy to process what it hears as a fact first. Using that same visualization you can train your mind to recognize the opportunities offered to you. but will actually consider them an order. and frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or beyond our control. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily speak directly to your subconscious and just as quickly and easily clean out the unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up and acted upon by your subconscious. your subconscious will not only use your energy to process these message units.

all of your life. abundance. You will feel stronger. realizing your dreams and making it all a part of your reality. you need to be aware. enjoy this article by Heath Askinosie. with clarity. all the directions you can go in and finally realizing that life isn’t just about a series of destinations. mold them and do it over and over again. Confidence and Seeking Clarity In Your Life by Heather Askinosie. want and desire. happier and soon you will realize that you have not only taken back control of your own life. does and will continue to offer you what you need. you always have a choice. “… in the end it’s not the years in your life that count. Take a look at the business opportunity that just fell into your lap.” So live your life fully. It’s the life in your years. the Energy Muse Have you ever noticed that some people just exude the energy of confidence? It’s as if they have this inner connectedness and knowingness that is solid and secure. why not make today the day that you take control of your thoughts. Know that no matter what things might look like. you are actually living the life you want. If you want a New Beginning. by the nature of how it works encourages the subconscious to release and. go to that party you’ve just been invited to. “The first step in using the power of choice is to wake up! In every phase of your development and growth. As Abraham Lincoln once said.” Nora MacFarlane Hypnosis. take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. I decided maybe you should be able to read what somebody else has to say on the subject. Trust that the Universe has. all of my sessions have some releasing suggestions or imagery included within them. (See Snapshot exercise) Once you have taken back the control. realizing all the possibilities available to you. it is a journey. get together with that friend you’ve been hoping would call. eating organic food or weeks of silent retreat? They must have done something to have gained this inner © Copyright 2003. so. in addition. confidence and trust. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.achieving prosperity. 20 . Guide them. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. And know that when you make choices that express the real you. Look at that job offer that comes out of the blue. Trust that perhaps the time is just perfect. How did they get this way? Transcendental meditation. A journey that you can control with a little clarity and a lot of trust. It does make a difference. not just one small part of it! Since I believe that confidence and clarity are so very important to the well-lived life. then the real fun can start.

Sometimes I do not see my sign in the 48 hours and I know its better to wait for better timing or know that something better is waiting. I often find a very healing peaceful way of getting connected is laying down on the floor or bed and placing a piece of rose quartz. Here it is…Think of a question to which you want a yes or no answer. The universe in all its magic is waiting for us to talk. It always seems that when we take the time to slow down. dolphins . I truly believe that faith.knowing. our answers are all around us. People who are confident and project clarity of mind and purpose know and trust in something very basic but essential: things will work out as they are meant to. engage and listen. These people hold the tenant “this too shall pass” in their hearts and mind. I was wondering if I should move forward with a particular project so I asked the universe to show me a sign of butterflies if this project was in my best interest. Five minutes of breathing with your eyes closed and feeling the loving energy of the gemstone is magical. After these few minutes everything seems a bit more manageable and more in perspective. There is an ebb and flow in all of life which results in positive changes happening when their time has arrived. Remember this is an exercise of faith so if it is meant to be it will show up. courage. look and listen. It is important not to go looking for your sign. But how do we get there? I recently read about this technique in a book and found it to be so interesting and simple I gave it a try. COMMUNICATION During the course of giving my workshops on relationships.get creative) in the next 48 hours if what you are asking for is in your best interest. I have used this simple dialogue with the universe many times and my questions are always answered. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Hours later I went to take my son to the dentist. © Copyright 2003. The problem is that we communicate differently. They have an inner knowledge of self and an ability to completely surrender that we can create life but we cannot control it. yellow balloon. malachite or green aventurine over the fourth heart chakra. Have your question? Now say your question out loud and ask the universe that you be given a specific sign (example: red roses. There has to be some logical reasoning behind this state of bliss. Or think of something you want more clarity on in any area of your life. or expect it to turn up in its obvious place. Completely surrendering control allows a space to be formed inside of us where confidence and clarity can live. I went to sign him in and the sign up sheet had a border of the most beautiful butterflies I had ever seen. trust and confidence are available to each and every one of us as our 21 . I realized again that communication is key to any successful relationship.

It is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is wrong. ask an emotional if they are cold and they will infer from your question that you are really asking them something else. however. It is the physical who yells. how they can come apart. Communication. but E&P affects. It is a little later that the problems begin to arise because of the innate differences in the way these two different personalities communicate and relate to each other. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. Kappas developed a theory about relationships and people in general called the E&P attraction principal which provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. It is simply the difference between direct and inferential communication. First. The physical personality takes things said literally while the emotional attempts to infer what the other person is saying.I studied hypnotherapy under a man by the name of John Kappas and Dr. enjoys spur of the moment activities. if you ask a physical if they are cold. It is also that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. it also defines how we each relate to others and how we communicate with them. An example would be. That perhaps you are suggesting it is either too cold or too hot for you and that you are uncomfortable but don’t want to say so. Ask a physical if there are any more sodas and they’ll answer yes and tell you where or they will answer no. whatever when upset. I discuss this aspect of the E&P principal later in my “Relationships” section. These two types. Because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations. among other things. people don’t realize just how true this is. Ask an emotional and if there aren’t any they might very well ask you if you want them to pick some up next time they are in the store or sometimes even apologize for taking the last one or not thinking about getting more when they were at the store. So. It would be far more accurate to say intellectual and emotional. possibly even throws things when angry. screams. the way we communicate with each other. It also works like radar and you will find yourself naturally being attracted to your almost exactly opposite. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. is so much more than simple questions. E&P stands for Emotional and Physical and aside from defining our attraction and sexuality. physically acts out their emotions and frequently speaks before thinking. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it isn’t. In relationships. and how natural and normal this is. opposites really do attract. they will answer yes or 22 . cries. © Copyright 2003. suppress displays of emotion and think before speaking and the physical/emotional who seems to jump right in. Remember that it is the emotional who conceals their emotions and the physical who acts them out. rather than answer directly they ask if you are cold or did you want them to adjust the thermostat. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that this is insecurity.

If it is natural and normal for the emotional not to talk about those emotions they feel the strongest about. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. This E&P communication. however is just one part of communication. you can see how this could be problematic. Both parties can regain what they had in the beginning that made the relationship so special when they understand the differences that make them each special. you know that it is frequently easier to deal with the physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the emotional starts to think that maybe their partner doesn’t care as much. The words we choose to use are an even bigger and potentially more devastating part of communication. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. Words have so much power that it is possible for them to not only destroy a reputation. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. feelings and emotions onto those we are closest to. © Copyright 2003. Words have power. Conversely. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. self-confidence. the more the physical pushes. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. then it would also be natural and normal for them to expect their partner to do the same. when the emotional withdraws and keeps their feelings inside. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. Since we tend to project our 23 . It is the emotional who is uncomfortable talking about how they “feel” while the physical seems to have no problem talking about their feelings all the time. You can image how difficult living a life like this can be. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Remember though. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify our attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity not only in our intimate relationships but in all our relationships including those between a parent and a child and those in the work place. We heal from physical injuries. that knowledge is power and this vicious circle can be broken. You had to be strong. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. the more the physical pushes the more the emotional withdraws and the more the emotional withdraws. Also. It becomes a vicious circle.The same thing occurs when communicating. they can ruin lives. When that partner talks freely and openly about what they are feeling. the physical thinks they don’t care because they aren’t showing their emotions and won’t talk about them.

Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. leave. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in. someone will answer. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. You know because I say it over and over again. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you can. but not only that. Also. your talent. each of us. And there are hundreds and thousands of stories just like those that show us. dreams and desires. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. Think and dream about your future. beautiful heart and so much love to give. The second step is to take control of your thoughts. intelligence and compassion. But most of all. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. call out for help. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. keep your thoughts 24 . The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. bad relationship and can keep on going. is powerful beyond belief. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. take the time to take back control and think more about your hopes. Make some calls. This is why “words” do have so much power. wider and stronger each and every day. The same holds true for what you hear. I’d be negligent if I didn’t address this issue of abuse right here and now. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. But you are wrong. this planet needs you. The woman who has come out of a nasty.The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. by working it. find out what you can do. © Copyright 2003. Your life depends on it After all. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. If you are around someone constantly who criticizes you or berates you or even worse. throughout your life entire life. As a matter of fact.

Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. But when you are with someone you care about. © Copyright 2003. wife. our child. words can hurt you. words can destroy you.Each of us. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying sticks and stones……. Vent when you are alone. don’t ever delude yourself into believing that it is anything more than pure selfish self-gratification. please take the time to think about the words we use and what we are saying to those we care about. husband. lover or friend before we utter those hurtful words that can never be taken 25 . scream and yell and swear all you want. Once said they are out there forever. And that’s really what venting to another person is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

suicidal feelings. © Copyright 2003. an inability to feel pleasure and a variety of physical discomforts. if this work fulfills its potential.Einstein had more interconnections between his neurons. anger or a sense of helplessness and hopelessness. that even with the new sophisticated tools and treatments becoming available. This is an area that is particularly beneficial for those who suffer from negative behavior patterns and thoughts. DRUGS TO ESCAPE DEPRESSION Even though depressed people may share a common cluster of symptoms such as sadness.D DEPRESSION. As research continues in this area. is what is really exciting: Such an unusual supply of interconnections is not inherited. but in essence they are just like any other habit. You may be asking right now just what exactly are thought habits? This is something I’ll go into a bit later. According to Dr. pioneer brain/mind researcher and author of The Secret World of Brainwaves….it is the diversity of interconnections between those neurons. “… Today’s research has proven your brain can continue to physically grow -. depression.… You have billions upon billions of neurons. Dr. Most research today is focused on the physiology of depression. if we want to. Marion Diamond who analyzed Albert Einstein’s brain and found it was different in only one way -. The secret to a lively brain is not your number of neurons .net 26 . patients will receive treatment based on genetic makeup. In fact. conditions and illnesses. we are learning that thoughts travel through our nervous system and that we can actually develop new interconnections between the neurons in our nervous system. thought patterns and thought habits. it is important to cultivate a sense of well-being. we can take control of our thoughts and change them. Mood is affected by dozens of genes. yet clinicians have found that approaches which combine medical and psychological treatments are by far the most effective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. they would stretch all the way to the moon and back. No one is born with such a brain -. According to Dr.even into very advanced old age. Researchers like Dr. if your brain neurons were laid out end to end. researchers are pinpointing the genes that are involved in depression. DIETING. Miller goes on to stress. sleep problems and/or exhaustion. In addition. and just like any other habit. Michael Craig Miller in his article “Managing Every Shade of Blue”. AND is created. this doesn’t mean that these symptoms are the result of the same cause. Jill Ammon-Wexler.

This is why it is so crucial to say and think about only those things that you want in your life or that you want more of in your life and. (Such an overload is the mental equivalent of the muscle overload techniques used by body builders to build strong.Your brain follows the same rule as your muscles -. “disappointed in my relationships”. Unused neural interconnections actually shrink and die. “unhappy”. images and emotions travel through our neurological system along these neuro pathways and interconnections. are all those bigger thoughts such as “negative people”. But if we actually analyze our thoughts we usually find that what we really think to ourselves is something more like this: “I want a happy. silly or stupid it may be and processed by our subconscious accordingly. healthy muscles. © Copyright 2003.) The right kind of mental overload leads straight into quantum brain growth. What it does understand. fulfilled life” and believe that we are thinking positive thoughts. Too often we focus on and think about all the things that we don’t want. what we say to ourselves.” It is important to remember that as you change your thoughts you develop and build new and different neuro pathways and it is equally important to remember that unused neural interconnections can actually shrink and die. You can actually take active control of your thoughts and change the way you think permanently by choosing which neuro interconnections you want to strengthen and which you want to atrophy and die. We may think to ourselves “I want a happy. I’m tired of feeling stressed and under pressure. though.use it or lose it. What we think. I just want to be happy. I’m tired of being unhappy or disappointed in my relationships. And if you manage to ‘overload’ your brain with the right kind of sensory information. those interconnections then expand and strengthen. fulfilled life. The subconscious doesn’t register the difference between “do” and “don’t”. that internal dialog that we all have is treated as a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. even more importantly.” What is actually being said here? Look at it. NOT to think about those things that you don’t want. But if you engage in regular mental workouts. etc. You can take control of your own thoughts rather than allowing the people around you or your circumstances to control your 27 . This is hugely important! All our thoughts. Pretty much it deals with everything you don’t want! It is all about those things that you want to move away from rather than the things that you want to move towards. it is forced to physically reorganize itself and grow. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This expands your mind power into entirely new dimensions of thought and experience…. Think about that a moment. I don’t want to be around negative people.

Pay attention to what you are thinking. including cancer. is originating on a deeper. give yourself the gift of taking control of your thoughts and your life. “Depression almost certainly has multiple causes that produce similar 28 . You will also find that at first it may take a while before the negative images to completely fade but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.. An unhealthy body can lead to depression. Take responsibility for your thoughts.” observes Dr. The “Snapshot” exercise given later will help you accomplish this. stroke and Alzheimer’s. Keep your focus on what you want and what you want to move towards rather than those things that you would rather run from! © Copyright 2003. epilepsy. You will find me recommending that you use this particular exercise often for many different things. As more and more people are dealing with the effects of depression (20+ million in the United States alone). October 18. More and more doctors and patients recognize that depression and physical wellbeing are intimately connected. it will continue to go on. Ph. Bruce Cohen. So. If the pain is not dealt with at that subconscious level. whether it is physical or emotional. Reflect on the positive. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. president of McLean Hospital in Belmont. and depression can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. Massachusetts. reflect on the contrary. subconscious level. so that it can become a part of you on a cellular level. Studies have long established links between the incidence of depression and several other diseases. People with such afflictions appear to run a higher risk of disability or premature death when they are clinically depressed. 2005. Woman’s World. with the aid of hypnosis. Fixing one problem can often help the other. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. When you can take a truth and internalize it.What thoughts you think about most will develop the neuro pathways for those thoughts. on a subconscious level. 100 times more.D. When there is negative thinking. you will find that the positive image or snapshot comes faster and easier and you will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. Parkinson’s disease. Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. heart disease. many people are also realizing that much of their pain. Use the snapshot exercise (found at the end of this book) to internalize and change your thoughts.

© Copyright 2003. because our society (with its dangerously underweight models) has made women of all ages feel that if they aren’t a size 6 or below. sometimes to death. First bad and then good or vice versa so often it can make you dizzy trying to keep up. First we were told that fat. Hospitals and universities send out press releases and publish scientific findings. according to the New York Times. but I’m sure it is expanding over much of the world. particularly among our young 29 . The first diet included six small meals a day. and these are serious issues indeed. Confusing.DIET Diet/Weight/Confusion Sometimes. then we were told it was good containing anti-oxidants and other good things (especially for women). and they did not distinguish between good and bad fats. now again we are hearing. Chocolate was bad for you. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of. scientists and dietitians in the world are trying to keep us confused. and the third diet was actually only one meal a day (something I’ve always heard is bad for you). and we are getting it before the facts have actually been verified. but in addition. but what about the increasingly common and perhaps scarier problem of eating disorders such as bulimia and anorexia. Where did this idea that women must look like sticks come from and how has it become such a huge problem. then we were told maybe it isn’t. we are really only getting part of the story. they are fat and unattractive! Hey. we automatically think about overweight issues and trying to lose weight. any kind of fat. Marilyn Monroe was a size 12 and one of the sexiest women alive. you bet!!! Sometimes we are simply getting too much information too soon and too much information on only certain limited aspects of any of these issues. And throughout all of it. The truth is. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. is bad for you. never a comparison with all the other studies. Those young girls and women who literally starve themselves. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. especially our young women. test or theory. and of course. a low-fat diet does not cut health risks in women (a theory that is exactly opposite everything we’ve ever heard). tests or theories that might pertain to that one issue. especially in the United States. Part of one study. the second diet was only three meals a day. well yes but not in large portions and maybe even then we don’t really know for sure. the creators of each all think theirs is the best for losing weight. diet and weight. we just don’t want to do it. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. When most of us think about diet and weight. We all know the difference between bad and good fats. it seems as if all the doctors. then drug companies hire doctors and consultants as their experts to promote their latest drug whether it be to lose weight or cure depression or fix an erection problem. people.

It is possible for us to outsmart existing patterns by creating new reward systems for our behavior. we can each take the time to do a bit of research. and getting the right kind of support and advice. As we live our lives. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. confidence or happiness. In fact. With the internet available to all of us. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of unresolved feelings. one of the first things I tell them is. emotions and negative behavior patterns that must be addressed as well as food choices and a healthy lifestyle. As they discuss and teach in this workshop. Food addiction asks of us a compelling question: How can our minds overcome what our bodies are telling it to do?” A good question indeed and I’m sure you are wondering right 30 . Knowledge is indeed power. using hypnosis to internalize the process even fast and quicker. and this is just the beginning of issues involved in diet and weight. weight issues are rarely just about weight. Ida Kendall and her partner Pat Dennis have put together a workshop “Eating to outsmart food addictions” and they explain and teach how “food can hook people by triggering the exact chemical reactions triggered in the brain by hard drugs or nicotine. a lack of fulfillment. Just as with any weight. Releasing negative thoughts. There is much more affecting us and the choices we make. © Copyright 2003. but I’m not talking about just bits and pieces of knowledge. We live in a world that is hectic at best and almost overwhelmingly stressful at worst. the longer you carry it around with you the heavier it gets. we tend to carry around baggage from our past. we simply do not have the time or energy to make a healthy meal and actually sit down and eat it. Don’t read one article and blindly follow whatever advice is being given. One of my instructors at the Hypnosis Motivation Institute. we need to take the time and make the effort to really get the information. If there is no medical condition causing the problem there is always an underlying issue and more often than not. Especially if that advice is the opposite of everything you’ve heard up to that point. satisfaction. So many of us feel as if our lives are spinning out of control and quite frankly.When a client contacts me about a weight issue. by taking control of our thoughts. The good news is that we can change existing behavior patterns. so we tend to rely on fast foods and processed meals from the market. both emotional and physical. feelings and emotions will allow you to move forward in your life with any goal including weight and a positive self-image. “… there are neurotransmitters and brain chemicals that conspire against us to create food cravings especially since junk food temporarily eases stress and pain…. awareness and motivation are half of what it takes to win the battle. it can include abandonment issues.” How scary is that? I think we all know by now just how hard it is to kick these kinds of addictions. just how can we overcome these physical cravings.

Use the tools you’ve been given in this book and watch the changes take place.e. I keep going back to this one phrase. This is true knowledge and this is something you can control. and since our environment mirrors our subconscious/unconscious. i. DRUGS TO ESCAPE I had some thoughts that I wanted to share with you on using drugs and/or alcohol to escape from thinking or feeling things that are just too painful. So we then end up with having to work and fix two problems. you can write her at idakendall2@yahoo. take control of your thoughts and change your life. though is not just about external fact. Timeline therapy is especially effective in this area as are releasing techniques. anxiety and paranoia about non existent things. it also ends up restricting your environment and all areas of your life. but also the happy feeling gets to be almost impossible to recapture. drugs or alcohol seem to provide such an immediate and wonderful release. When we try to escape from or not think about something that is too hard and painful to handle but it is something that we know we ultimately must handle. we then actually cause a dependency that can have nothing to do with the original issue. You have the power and you have the ability to do so and this works for so many areas of your life and your world. It is also this point which restricts out goals and the most common underlying reason for drug and alcohol abuse. what do you think about. NewBeginnings but it really is crucial to work with a hypnotherapist first. what does your world look like. what do you see. If any of you would like to contact Ida directly to find out more about her workshop. in 31 .Knowledge. You must at some time or another confront and deal with whatever you were hiding from in the first place. Your pain manifested because of the repressed emotions surrounding the triggering event. Use the soothing blanket of hypnosis which makes it possible for you to observe the triggering event without having to re-experience the pain and hurt again to transform your life. You can continue the work on your own. Look at yourself. So wonderful. What eventually and always happens is that the wonderful release/fun aspects we first felt start to wear off very quickly and more and more is needed. what ultimately happens is that the emotions associated with whatever are trying to hide from are replaced with drug emotions. This is. This is one form of hypnosis that is best done with a hypnotherapist and not by yourself. we need to develop knowledge about ourselves. remember our external world is a mirror of what is going on inside. If you don’t like it. that we keep going back to it. observe how you feel. though just an illusion. If we continue to use larger and larger quantities and more and more frequently.. fear. © Copyright 2003.

but an actual neurologic path that runs through the body. when experienced for any length of time can become a contributing factor in the interruption of the body’s energy system. EFT was created by Gary Craig in the mid 1990s and was meant to be a simplification and improvement of Roger Callahan’s Thought Field Therapy (TFT) techniques. resentment and any other negative emotion that you can think of. While EFT certainly has it share of critics. depression. It is our perception of the experience that determines the value we assign to it and that is why a negative experience (even the same experience) is different for each person who is experiencing it. EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE) Anxiety. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is a psychotherapeutic alternative medicine technique and tool that works on this interruption of the body’s energy. ENERGY. There are even more extreme claims that have been made stating “you can also use it for everything from the common cold to cancer”. As I’ve written before. including depression. The steps or progress of the imbalance is as follows: • • • • A negative experience occurs Negative emotions are felt in response to this negative experience This leads to inappropriate programming inside the body Then the body’s energy system gets disrupted due to these negative emotions.E EFT (EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE). EFT treats that path by using a series of taps on meridian pressure points throughout the body. Not a hypothetical path. This is done while thinking of the negative emotion thus altering the body’s energy field and restoring it to balance. The theory behind EFT that the disturbance in the body’s energy is a result of negative emotion is based on an ancient theory of acupuncture. NewBeginnings 32 . anger. EMOTIONS. © Copyright 2003. anxiety. posttraumatic stress disorder. proponents of EFT claim that it relieves many psychological and physical conditions. fear. has no value of its own. It is important to understand that as with any “alternative medicine” you are the only one who can determine what works best for you. general stress. any negative experience. addictions and phobias. EFT assumes the premise that there is a path between the negative experience and the specific emotion that is associated with that experience. a negative experience itself.

If you choose to use EFT with hypnosis. war trauma or severe physical illness. © Copyright 2003. EFT is a powerful and effective tool to have in your arsenal. deprivation. and more importantly. this can include anything from anger and stress to the grief of losing a loved one. weight loss to pain and illness. Time or duration of the problem seems to be of little consequence to the effectiveness of the treatment. EFT is an easy technique to learn and safe for anybody to use and it can be done either in or out of hypnosis. In this study a psychological test called the SA-45 was used to test the levels of psychological distress on 102 participants of an experiential EFT workshop and to examine the long-term effects. The first study was published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology in 2003 and was funded by the Association for Comprehensive Energy Psychology and involved 35 patients with a phobia of small animals receiving a single treatment with EFT. The uses EFT can be put to range from success and abundance. Even though the exercise I give you as do all exercises I’ve seen list the tapping in a specific order and sequence. Understanding the underlying experience by itself cannot correct the energy imbalance and that both the imbalance and emotions must be worked on simultaneously. Find a hypnotherapist who is familiar with the technique who can work with you. The third study was published in Counseling and Clinical Psychology in 2005. What is important is that you focus on the specific issue or negative emotion that you want corrected. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.It is the contention of EFT that in order to remove the negative response. to addiction. All of these issues can be connected to past conditioning and negative emotions associated with that past conditioning. understanding the negative experience is not enough. EFT has been the subject of several studies and I am listing three of them here for those who wish to investigate it further. Remember. emptiness and anxiety. the order and sequence of tapping points seems to be unimportant. EFT can help with both the cravings. the root causes such as feelings of loneliness. the brand new blank spaces can be immediately replaced with positive suggestions. The most obvious and common use of EFT is to treat emotional issues and physical pain. the subconscious is not happy with a void and will seek to fill any space you have cleared as quickly as possible. With or without hypnosis. With regard to addictions. do not use 33 . As stated earlier. The advantage to doing the exercise while under hypnosis is that suggestibility is increased making the prescribed statements even more powerful. In addition. This study divided the students into four groups and different tapping protocols were used. The second study was published in The Scientific Review of Mental Health Practice in 2003 and was conducted by Waite and Holder on 119 University students who reported specific fears or phobias. since EFT releases a lot of negative emotion.

and hypnosis can help counteract the effect of chronic stress. you aren’t excusing the other person or reconciling with them or even condoning their behavior.EMOTIONS Emotions and Illness Research has repeatedly demonstrated that our emotions directly affect not only emotional health. you are tapping into your own subconscious and its power to heal. One study examined 20 individuals in happy relationships matched with 20 in troubled relationships. hostility. cataracts frequently appear where a person does not want to see something painful in his or her life. but our physical health as well. One such study by Dr. Studies of HIV-positive men conducted at UCLA have confirmed that optimism is associated with a strong immune-cell function. The body produces more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. By forgiving. the brain reacts by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion. This has been proven repeatedly with study after study. hurt and unforgiveness. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. hypnosis allows the body and mind to relax on an even deeper level increasing all the benefits received with relaxation. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. meditation. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. Another example can be seen with emphysema or lung cancer. Research has linked chronic anger to a variety of diseases with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. It can even be linked to suicide. even more importantly. While yoga and mediation are effective in achieving a relaxed state. which seems to be triggered by an unconscious or buried emotion of fear and perhaps even more © Copyright 2003. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions? What happens is that they will negatively affect the body in one way or another. accidents and increased workplace injuries. studies at Harvard suggest that the relaxation response which can be achieved through 34 . hurt. But what you are doing is letting go of your own suffering. a German physician conducted with the help of 20.000 brain scans demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion but instead represses or buries that emotion. Likewise. Holding onto negative emotions such as anger. Ryke Geerd Hamer. The latter group had higher baseline levels of cortisol (a hormone associated with impaired immune function) which level shot up even further when they were asked to think about their relationships. For example. releasing and letting go of the emotions associated with anger. resentment.

Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. emotional suppression has become unconscious and severe. Why would unhealed emotional injuries lead to cancer? The body speaks its own truth. stay vigilant and pay attention to your thoughts. etc. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto negative emotions is a vital part of the growth of not only cancer cells but other 35 . We already know that under great stress we get sick more often and illness is the body’s way of trying to tell us that we are doing something wrong. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body there is another benefit. Those people with the most energy are also those people © Copyright 2003. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. fear of death or the feeling that you are in a situation where you cannot breath. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. doesn’t it? It may seem contradictory. pathogens. it prevents depression. diet. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. vaccines. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables. The immune system cannot function when under tremendous emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight disease and illness including cancer. In most cases of cancer. keep this in mind: use it and use it frequently. suggestions and exercises to help you release and purge negative emotions. whole grains. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. Throughout this book you will find theories. Don’t expect or look outside yourself for something or someone to make you happy. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). exposure to toxic substances. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. etc). Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. something out of alignment emotionally or physically. seems somewhat contradictory.specifically. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. white flour. but it is not. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. that we are out of balance. ENERGY Relaxation and energy. Take control of your own thoughts and actions and guide them in a positive direction. it’s not just your emotional well being that is at stake. such as genetics. In addition to nurturing your mind.

© Copyright 2003. or an inability to let go and just relax. you can actually open blocked pathways and reverse the effects of that blocked energy. The relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis such as deep breathing. When you combine two modalities such as hypnosis and Emotional Freedom 36 . if you want more energy you need to find a way that helps you do just that. While listening to your hypnotherapist. imagery. visualization and positive suggestions are uniquely effective in creating a feeling of peacefulness and euphoria similar to what is experienced while meditating but on an even deeper level. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. whether you are tired from a late night or have been experiencing exhaustion from overwork. opening channels into your subconscious allowing you to more easily access that deep relaxation that we all need to heal while at the same time allowing you to see the unlimited possibilities available in your life. stress. So. Hypnosis can help you. but balance will return. your mind and body relax more and more deeply. Not only will you will feel energized and revitalized again.who have the ability to relax more fully.

F FABULOUS. FEAR. © Copyright 2003. Fruits and vegetables and spices. until the food becomes liquid. Drink more water. FREEDOM FABULOUS How to Feel and Look Fabulous One Step at a Time By Irina Wardas 1. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. beans and vegetables sweep toxins from your body and slow the speed at which your body absorbs sugars from food. THROUGH RELEASING FORGIVENESS. To eat healthy means not only to eat small portions but also to eat better quality food. which as we know reduce inflammation. It helps if you put your fork down between bites. turmeric. But simply breathing causes the loss of a significant quantity of water each and every day. Chew properly. Try to eat more organic fruit and vegetables or at least from local farmers markets. garlic liberally. depending on the climate in which you live and your level of physical exercise. Fiber. try counting the chews in each bite. Water should be purified and not from the plastic bottles or containers. FOCUS. Monounsaturated oils such as olive oil has anti-inflammatory properties. • Chewing breaks down food and makes it easier on the stomach and small intestine to digest. walnuts and ground flaxseed while limiting your intake of pro-inflammatory omega6-rich foods.carotenoids in carrots. Their phytonutrients . These foods also contain high level of antioxidants. nuts. To get started in the habit of chewing correctly. • Chew every mouthful of food at least 30 times each. Eat the right 37 . Omega-3 fatty acids improve the metabolic function of every cell in your body. Healthy fats. soy. curcumin in turmeric help to turn on your metabolism at the cellular level and regulate hormones that help control appetite. How much water do we need? It depends on your bio-individuality. 2. • Saliva assists in the digestion of carbohydrates. like heavily processed foods as well as corn. Increase your intake of fish. safflower and vegetable oils. Use fruits and vegetables as snacks and use spices-cinnamon. aiming for 30 to 50 times. whole grains. The indigestible parts of fruits. primary by reducing the inflammation.

our organs. our hair. and metals such as mercury and lead from air. Just a few seconds of deep breathing can alter your brain’s chemical balance enough to create a great sense of peace. chemicals from manufacturing. Homemade cooking has always been the key to de-stress yourself from junk and processed foods and to reduce your stress overload in general. we can handle the basic every day exposure to toxins. our body cleanses itself by an absolutely natural 38 . Our blood is what creates our cells. It relaxes and detoxifies your body. Any form of exercise helps. Exercise/Sweat Resistance training builds muscle. take deep breaths. But breathing is also effective. Sweat – cleans up your system. But sometimes we need to change our dietary © Copyright 2003. Detox is a relative term. Losing weight gradually . 5. Taking the time to chew will help you to enjoy the whole spectrum of tastes and aromas that make up the meal. 6. (Gas is experienced in the stomach and intestine. The food we take into our mouth goes into our stomach where it gets digested and eventually assimilated into the bloodstream. Eat homemade food. You have to be conscious of your breath for a few minutes every day. 4. Detox. Breathe. Regular exercise should make you sweat. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. We do need to cleanse our bodies not to become a toxic dump. water and food circulate in the blood and wind up in body fat. our tissues. (Another toxin accumulator-rapid weight loss.• Saliva also makes the food more alkaline. which creates less gas. and regular sustained movement support your thyroid. our brains and our thoughts and feelings. and let the simple act of chewing relax you. because anything that supports elimination can be said to help us detoxify. but so will saunas and hot baths. When you burn fat the toxins from the fat cells enter the blood). 3. If the body is working well with good immune and eliminative system. The solution: Sweat. lowers inflammation and improves the rate at which insulin can move blood sugar in your cells-so there is more available as fuel and less sugar circulating in the blood to be turned into fat. Mind/body practices like yoga and tai chi can help reduce stress. but it is caused by spleen imbalances.) If under pressure at meals. Learning to cook high quality food for yourselves and those you love can change everything. In the blood these toxins sabotage the body’s main metabolic regulator-the thyroid gland. Pesticides. our skin.not crash dietingwill also help you prevent your blood stream from becoming a toxic dump. Your body excretes toxins and waste in perspiration. As a matter of fact. chew.

you sure can laugh at one. Tai chi -moving meditation . bread. Have a home-made facial. We have to sort them out and start a wonderful journey to wellness . Studies have suggested that humor can lower blood pressure and boost levels of natural feel-good chemicals known as endorphins. Yoga poses reduce stress levels. meats. drugs) to the least (fruits and vegetables. mix and put on your face for 15 minutes . diary products.journey that will help us to feel and look fabulous. I call it facial 39 . our relationships. Laugh. fried foods. relaxes your body. We have to learn how to prioritize our health. Have sex. © Copyright 2003. 10. hydrogenated fats. 7. Shifting from the most congesting foods (sweets. deliberate moves that awaken your chi and allows it to flow unblocked throughout your body. our is delicious. Even if you can’t tell a joke. Studies show that your level of the stress hormone cortisol stays low even while you’re doing basic beginner yoga. 9.(healthier food choices) habits to reduce intake of toxins and improve elimination which can be also a great weight loss technique. Healthy sex life enhances your relationship. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. because you kill two birds with one stone: you not only nourish/cleanse rejuvenate your face but also have to lie down for at least ten minutes. (Try an uplifting mask made of kiwi and honey: mash one kiwi and add 1/2 tsp of honey. etc. While lying in bed think about something very pleasant. focused. Home-made facial is one of the best relaxation techniques. boost mood.consists of slow. You may be amazed with the fact that simply drinking more water (filtered of course!) helps us eliminate more toxins. 8. and even promotes wellness as well as welcomes sleep. and improve overall health. releases ‘happy’ chemicals. Try Yoga/ Tai Chi Class. improving your healthy well-being. refined flours. grains. nuts and legumes) can help most of us detoxify somewhat and bring us into balance in general. fats. Take the laughter yoga class.

As we work together toward understanding and achieving their desired results. fear of success. But when you find yourself repeating the same patterns that haven’t worked for you so far or you find that you are unable to make a decision or just afraid all the time and tired of it. There are literally hundreds of reasons they seek me out for help and hypnosis. healthy and joyous life that you deserve? Before you can do that. it keeps us from making a big mistake. Sometimes this is exactly what we need to do. one thing seems to come up most frequently.Irina Wardas is a founder of NaturalCounselor. or even worse. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to © Copyright 2003. sometimes just fear and you don’t even know what it is you fear. what we expect. For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. isn’t it time to let go and move beyond the fear? Isn’t it time for you to move into the happy. Sometimes it is okay to have a bit of fear in your life for a while. healthy and joyous life you want. fear of failure. to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. Do you really believe that you can create the financial life you want to live this year? Fall completely and deeply in love? Receive a big promotion or find your dream job? Any of those things in life that make you wake up with a smile on your face energized and ready to tackle each and every morning in anticipation of the wonderful and amazing things that are coming your way! Or have you put a lid on your dreams.naturalcounselor. When you do this you will find that the most common underlying cause of a limiting theme or repeating negative behavior pattern is and works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Sometimes we hold fear close and use it as a sort of security blanket. We’ve lived with it for so long that it has become 40 . they want to lose weight or quit smoking or get out of a bad relationship or maybe find a relationship or deal with a phobia. that one thing. Sometimes they just feel stuck and unable to move forward or they can’t focus or sleep at night. When you find yourself in a repeating negative behavior pattern of a limiting FEAR Is Fear Holding You Back? People seek out my help for a variety of reasons. it becomes necessary to really look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves throughout your life. FEAR: fear of change. a short while. you have to actually believe that you do deserve the happy. though. Fear makes us cautious and with caution we slow down and re-evaluate what we are planning to do. That one thing is FEAR. mood swings. insomnia or lack of energy.

get out your list and read it again.” This thinking can be directly related to a fear of success. friends and lovers live this kind of life. the world of adults.settling for less: less in the current state of your finances. Don’t keep a goal on the list because someone else thinks you need to do it. relationships. we have chosen. and grow up. write down your goals and if you did write them down. in order to be an adult. We may be able to imagine things getting a little better here and there but. have a reasonably happy life. This is wrong. or because you think it is the kind of goal you are supposed to have. career and health because you are afraid of failing. concrete and attainable goals and you know what they are. we are better off not wanting or expecting too much and most definitely we’d better not take the time to play. The reality of this world we live in is that desire is the life force of energy streaming through us. Your goals must be your very own. we are afraid to dream. But. If you haven’t done so already. As children we were free to play. We grew afraid of disappointment and embraced fear and limitation. There is no reason you can’t add a goal back to the list at some future time when it is right. As a result of being told this over and over or watching our parents. So here are some constructive ideas of how to overcome that overwhelmed feeling and move away from fear: 1. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. the more connected we feel. Take another look at each goal and ask yourself if you really want to have this goal at this time. When you have specific. living only shadow lives of who they were and who they were meant to 41 . instead. to bury our desires to put a lid on them and hide them deep within our subconscious. The more we allow the energy of desire to flow through us. We were told to grow up. we were told to leave those dreams behind. for the most part. Something that is important to you right now. Because so many of us believe that having unfulfilled desires will cause us pain (fear of failure). you will find that much of that general fear and anxiety you’ve been feeling will lessen considerably. 2. pretend and let our imaginations soar. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. © Copyright 2003. stop playing games and to keep our focus on the real world. as we grew older. We became experts at repressing our desires and burying our dreams. Be honest. many of us consciously and subconsciously come to the conclusion that. People without strong desires slowly whither away. It is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. the more vibrant and alive we become. afraid to believe and afraid to hope. and life just gets better and better. afraid of disappointment. “Limit your expectations to things that are realistically possible and that way you won’t be disappointed. One of the most pivotal steps in improving and renewing your life from the inside out is the ability to open up your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want.

doing something together. you are giving instructions to your subconscious mind. FOCUS Look around you. You know. Sometimes you can’t focus because of all that noise in your head. A message unit is every bit and © Copyright 2003. 4. so giving it more positive input in the form of verbal affirmations works to counteract any negative input we are receiving from others or from ourselves. Focus. Review the remaining list and set interim steps toward your goals that help you work up to them. crying and so on. push yourself to ask for help now.3. If you have not asked for support much in the past. it’s hard to focus. Support can come in many forms: encouragement. As an example. Do you notice those people who are the most successful the least stressed and yes. though. you’ve got nothing to lose but that fear you’ve been carrying around with you for too long and everything to gain. I have found that the most effective way to use affirmations is to both say them aloud and write them out. They can keep you up at night and they can make it virtually impossible to focus. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. or those thoughts and images that keep flowing through you mind. That voice in your head and those thoughts and images that you can’t seem to stop are there as a result of too many message units. affirmations are a wonderful tool to help change beliefs and patterns that can get in the way of achieving your goals. 5. The subconscious mind gives all messages equal weight and doesn’t differentiate between fact or fiction. laughing. a powerful tool. When you say your affirmations out loud. he can achieve! It is the ability to gain clarity about what we want and who we are and then the ability to focus our thoughts and energy in that direction that makes the difference. parent. Sometimes. life coach or whomever and ask for support. Use them. Remember the Power of Affirmations. set the distance goals over time that will build your endurance to the level you need to achieve. perhaps even the happiest? What makes them different from the rest of us? Thoughts are living. if your goal is to run a marathon. making it easier to create a visual image in your mind. breathing things. Whatever the mind of a man can conceive and believe in. Writing your affirmations out allows you to focus more clearly on what you have just said. that voice in your head that won’t stop talking. Say affirmations daily! If you haven’t already discovered this. Throughout this book you will find theories and exercises (Emotional Freedom Technique and Freedom Through Releasing to name two) that will help you release your fear. Don’t be afraid to talk to or call a friend. talking about how to overcome a particular 42 . even though we would gladly give it if asked. Remember to Enlist Support: Many of us are reluctant to ask for help and support.

Inherent in forgiveness is the ability to release and to let go of old negative feelings including hurt. psychological imbalances. it still exists in our 43 . touch. despite the fact that we may no longer recall a particular incident. to release and clear out any unwanted and unneeded message units.taste. self-defeating behavior patterns and so on. physical and emotional well-being. negative or neutral to our mental. By far the strongest poison to the human spirit is the inability to forgive oneself or another person. Listen to either of the downloaded sessions you’ve received and you will notice an immediate improvement.piece of information that your conscious and subconscious must deals with. smell and hearing. we can allow a past disturbance to surface. whether asleep or awake. the subconscious impressions can manifest as physical ailments. This information is relayed through out consciousness and into our subconscious. every single message unit so that we consciously do not. © Copyright 2003. This is commonly referred to as memory. Over time. They hamper and interfere with our attempts at happiness. success and fulfillment. even the subconscious can become overloaded by too many message units causing us to lose clarity and our ability to focus. that release. you are bombarded with millions of message units. Continue to listen several times and you will find that your ability to focus gets even better. The subconscious processes everything. sight. You are not aware of most of them and this is a good thing because you could not consciously process all those message units and remain sane. then release the negative impact and emotional content by speaking aloud relevant. This is when it becomes necessary to do some spring cleaning. FREEDOM THROUGH RELEASING TECHNIQUE Throughout our lives. It disables your emotional resources. forgive and accept forgiveness. and continues to affect our lives to some degree. They can also explain when we suffer from an otherwise unexplainable anxiety or fear. our subconscious is able to do this for us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. affirmative statements. The good news is this is very easy to do with the aid of hypnosis. The challenge is to develop the power of releasing and forgiveness. During the course of a day. When we go through periods of stress. resentment or anger. recorded on brain and body cells. we are continually receiving information about the world around us through our outer senses -. confront the situation as needed. though. interpersonal and relationship problems. Just the process of going into and out of hypnosis will allow your subconscious to release many of these unwanted message units. By using the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process. If these memories are negative or limiting in nature. health. Luckily. and its effects may be positive. though.

net 44 . either in a workshop setting or an individual basis. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The Releaser is given the suggestion that memories of the most important situation needing to be released and healed will be awakened at this time. This not only applies to a current. As negative/limiting experiences are surfaced from the subconscious. expressing whatever the Releaser feels needs to be conveyed to them. such as: What do you feel? What age were you? What happened? How did you feel about that? Signs that the Releaser is experiencing the situation include sighs. Some situations are deceptively debilitating. 5. By using a combination of the Lindwall Releasing Process and talking directly to the subconscious through hypnotherapy you are able to let go of programming from the past and fully reconnect into and develop your own essence and potential. Here’s how a typical Lindwall Releasing session proceeds: 1. anger. we don’t wake up refreshed because we are still stuck with a set of unsatisfactory circumstances. the facilitator has the Releaser speak directly to the persons involved in each incident. or with the assistance of a trained Releasing facilitator. The facilitator then counts backward from 20 to 0. but a lingering memory from either this life or a prior existence. They subtly sap our strength and leave us without enthusiasm or energy. tears.Simply knowing something intellectually gives you very little power. The facilitator guides the Releaser through painful past situations and ultimately through the act of forgiveness. fear and anxiety. They are encouraged to allow the pent-up emotions to vent in a constructive way. Free yourself of the old “stuff” floating around in your mind and heart and find the real you and in the process rid your mind and body of illness. 3. The facilitator and the Releaser agree to be willing partners in the process. the Lindwall Releasing process can be done alone. 4. he or she will be totally relaxed and at the proper level of concentration for the process. heals the psychic wounds and enables him or her to move on and make new choices in life. The Releaser lies down or sits in a comfortable position. 2. existing situation. Once learned. When you can take a truth and internalize it so that it becomes who you really are on a cellular level. They are also © Copyright 2003. you radiate that truth outward and your entire life is changed. laughter and perspiration. 6. Even when we sleep long hours. giving the Releaser the suggestion that the body will become relaxed and that at the count of ‘0’. During the Releasing session. The facilitator asks questions to guide the Releaser in focusing. which frees the Releaser from old patterns. a facilitator and Releaser form a partnership through constant dialogue.

have learned. including health care professionals and clergy. At the count of 1 the facilitator snaps their fingers near the Releaser’s eyes to shift the focus from the subconscious to the conscious level of awareness.” 7. the Lindwall Foundation’s Releasing Process is a powerful tool to help us stop or reduce the undesirable effects that old experiences have had on our overall quality of life. encouraging the Releaser to allow the emotions to drain until they no longer feel disturbed. This particular releasing process does not use hypnosis. Upon completion of the process (usually about an hour). she will shift from looking deeply within to becoming wide awake and alert. sadness. After an understanding of the dynamics is revealed. © Copyright 2003.asked to listen to the response from the other party realizing that we are all telepathically connected no matter where we are or how much time has elapsed since the situation occurred. as a Soul. disappointment. As the Isa and Yolanda Lindwall explain: “You. such as anger. and your body and life are the printout. and feeling great. the Releaser is asked to state. 8. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The facilitator remains non judgmental and supportive throughout the session. “I release (relevant emotions. the facilitator gives the Releaser the suggestion that as a count is made from 3 to 1. I have discovered with my clients that using the Lindwall Process and immediately following the process with a short hypnosis session is an amazing experience for them. once 45 . and I ask for forgiveness and I forgive myself. It deletes unwanted programs and emotions thereby preventing them from interfering with the proper functioning of your brain and body cells which in turn allows your life to function more effectively. function as a computer operator.). however. As people from all backgrounds.” While the Lindwall’s Releasing Process. etc. can be done alone. the brain is your biological computer. I recommend that you use a facilitator who is familiar with the Process the first time. The words ‘I release’ are similar to pressing the delete button on your home computer.

You choose what you want in your life. If you are not happy or satisfied with you current state of being. NewBeginnings 46 . it gets boring and there is no spark no stimulation. not really happy. This same principle works the same way for emotions. Sometimes. If you think about anger. After you’ve done this. an activity or a thing. You will feel the anger in all the people around you. You will feel as if your world is filled with anger. your current life situation. bit in the people around you and that end up being all you see in your world. the same thing happens when you are happy and think about being happy. A really simple way to test this theory is this. it is hard to focus on anything because we aren’t even sure what it is that we want. The first step is to know the difference between a state of being and a goal. not only does life get depressing. I don’t know about you. A state of being is not an emotion. you notice that you start to see the color blue all the time. Think of it as a game.’ it is who you are right at this very moment. I’ve written it here and I talk to my clients about it as well. thoughts and ideas. take the color blue for example. whether it is an emotion. Not only in your own relationships. “I don’t know what I want. I just know it isn’t this!” It is times like this that it becomes crucial to set yourself some goals. Each of us is already whole. Conversely. When I am giving a workshop I take the participants through this example and the results are always amazing. When you set a goal you are making the choice to have something that you want in your life.G GOALS SMART GOALS AND HOW TO CREATE THEM We’ve all heard a hundred times that what you focus on is what you get. fun. meaningful and exciting. We find ourselves drifting along. something that is crucial to goal setting. a diversion to keep life interesting. it is a feeling and a condition of existence. if you think about a color. you start seeing anger everywhere in your world. but I’ve heard myself say in the past. Start the process of focusing your mind by thinking of what you want in your life and focusing a bit on your future. it is then time to start getting specific about a few goals and the first step is to develop a SMART Goal: © Copyright 2003. Without goals. you can change it by setting yourself some goals. A state of being is not a state of ‘having been’ or ‘will become. perfect and complete (even if we don’t think so) right now because you are exactly what you need to be for your current state of being. You start to notice all the people who are smiling and those around start to smile more as well. though.

responsible. You just don’t need challenges that are overwhelming. o It is the challenge that keeps us moving forward. not if you want to improve your life. If you do this regularly. I might want Brad Pitt as my boy toy. they show us that we are changing and since we weren’t happy where we were. achievable in all areas of life Realistic. ecological (earth friendly) Timed in the present and moving toward what you want rather than away from what you do not 47 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. sometime weekly. and this bring me to the next and very important point • Your goal cannot be about harming another. He’s got free will just as we all do. it just means you make an adjustment. o I believe in manifesting what we want in our world as much as the next person. simple Measurable. © Copyright 2003. SET GOALS but understand that obstacles will come up and you will deal with them because that is what we do. • • Stuff has to come up otherwise it all really is rather pointless.Smart Goals are: S M A R T • Specific. I’ve written about it here and I work with my clients on it. o Check in regularly to monitor your process sometimes daily. Just because you’ve encountered an obstacle doesn’t mean you give up. Keep adjusting your course as you need to until you reach your goal. doesn’t mean I can have him. meaningful to you As if now (already accomplished). it would be a boring and scary world. keeps us feeling alive. Don’t forget about free will. we do it every day of our lives in little ways and you simply need to use the same process with your goals. Adjustments are a good thing. you aren’t taken by surprise and the adjustments are smaller and more easily handled. With a SMART goal and these suggestions. change is the whole point. But you can’t manifest everything you want. they will never be overwhelming. If there is no challenge to reaching a goal then why would you ever strive for anything. revising and adjusting as needed when these changes occur. • If we could manifest everything we wanted instantly.

set those goals. So.Remember. your goals are clear and you believe that it will. The universe is listening and will respond if your motives are 48 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 2003. by not setting goals and attempting to keep all your options open limits you even more than making a choice and choosing a goal because you have nothing to reach for and others are then able to impose their will onto you. dream those dreams and allow desire to flow through every aspect of your life.

As David Spiegel. relieve depression and so much more. imagery. make breathing easier for people with respiratory illnesses. It can help relieve pain.. and help strengthen the immune system. This enables the client to more easily focus on past negative behaviors patterns and it is this precise ability to more easily focus that results in the ability to achieve the desired change. Ph. the Medical Connection More and more doctors now realize that hypnosis is powerful medicine.H HEALING. but science is proving that hypnosis can improve your health and facilitate your healing in amazing ways. A sort of spring cleaning for the mind. aid with gastrointestinal ailments. turning some functions on and others off. HEART FIRE (HRIDAYA YOGA). Ginandes and her research team discovered that women who had breast reduction surgery recovered far more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. directed positive statements and suggestions while the client is in a deeply relaxed state. perceptions and behaviors and replacing them with the positive thoughts and suggestions that the client desires.” And this is how hypnosis achieves its power and strength. The most astonishing evidence is coming from the research being conducted on healing. director of the psychosocial treatment laboratory at Stanford University School of Medicine and coauthor of Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis (American Psychiatric Publishing) explains. Working from the inside out. releasing negative thoughts. It appears that hypnosis affects how genes in cells express themselves. Clients often say to me that they experience a feeling of peacefulness. Why this is and how it happens is still something of a mystery. Hypnotherapy uses relaxation techniques such as deep controlled breathing. “hypnosis focuses on the ability to do something for a specific purpose.D. speed up healing after surgery. by using specific. HYPNOSIS HEALING Healing and Hypnosis. visualization and positive suggestions. deep relaxation and euphoria during a session. lower blood pressure. in a follow-up experiment published in 2000. It is speculated that hypnosis alters the levels of certain chemicals found in the brain that directly affect the nervous system and hormone 49 . © Copyright 2003. This is similar to what is experienced during meditation except that it feels as if it is on a deeper level. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster and. Studies using brain scans and other imaging technology are providing explanations as to how and why hypnosis works in helping the body heal itself. there is “some overlap with meditation” however. In a pilot study published in 1999. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

A University of Connecticut review of six weigh-loss studies found that 70 percent of study participants rated hypnotherapy better than cognitive (conscious) therapy alone. They were also hooked up to an IV and given as much pain medication as they wanted. During the operation. “The skin is the most expressive organ in terms of emotional stimuli. If hypnotherapy sounds like a gentle. almost half stayed smoke-free 18 months after hypnotherapy . though. It relieves the emotional tension that’s behind the 50 . Research has shown that cancer patients who receive hypnotherapy prior to or during chemotherapy sessions experience less nausea and vomiting than those going through chemotherapy without the aid of hypnosis. soothing kind of treatment. director of the laboratory of hypnosis research at Washington State University in Pullman and coauthor of Hypnotherapeutic Techniques (Brunner-Routledge) agrees. visualizing their lungs clear and free of smoke. so surgeons couldn’t tell what specific care any individual patient was receiving. For the client who wishes to quit smoking. The International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis. The suggestions.” Barabasz states and goes on to state further that “I’ll tell a patient to imagine that she’s swimming in warm water on a tropical island or feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin while she lies on a rock by the water.” Seven years ago David Spiegel and Elvira Lang took 241 patients slated for vascular or kidney surgery and divided them into three groups. patients lay with their heads behind an opaque soundproof barrier. The underlying key principle is its ability to create deep relaxation. and the third received standard care. in terms of levels of pain. the positive goals and changes that you want in your life. April 2000 discovered that hypnosis relieved pain in 75 percent of the people studied. When Barabasz tested this approach on 300 heavy smokers who had previously quit and relapsed. empathic care provider and hypnosis. referring to themselves as a non-smoker and using positive suggestions about their body. the patients were asked to rate their level of anxiety and pain. Mount Sinai researchers found that adding hypnosis to standard post-surgical care sped recovery almost 90% of the time. must not emphasize what you are trying to move away from or are against. anxiety and the need for painkillers. And in a 2002 look at 20 studies on hypnosis and surgical pain.compared with 10 percent for the nicotine-replacement therapy alone. particularly for clients who want to lose weight or quit smoking. One group received standard care: another received standard care with an “empathic care provider”. Arreed Barabasz. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Every 15 minutes. that’s because it is.It is also this technique of focusing and strengthening willpower that is responsible for hypnotherapy’s high success rate. © Copyright 2003. which is particularly crucial when treating skin problems. but rather stress those things that you want to move toward.

net 51 . Lang has since supported these findings with two additional studies. “It’s not just a fantasy. a person is usually concentrating on bringing to mind some vivid image. Hypnosis can help you to take back control of your health and your life and once you have taken back control. And this list goes on and on. and an increase of activity in areas involved in focusing attention. This makes some sense to psychologists who practice and study hypnosis. you actually see it. and your brain acts as though it’s seeing it. psychologists say. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Spiegel and Lang found. It is an amazingly effective form of visualization that involves burning away negative emotions whether they originate from within yourself or are directed at you by others. The drop in cortical arousal accompanies a decline in moment-to-moment alertness. “This is all happening beneath the level of consciousness. neuroscientists have taken pictures of people’s brains during hypnosis. experienced less pain. the brain’s manager and planner. “It’s not just telling people things because that’s what you think they want to hear. the person is conscious enough to hear and understand suggestions without applying or putting up their usual blocks. it can also be used for any negative emotion such as © Copyright 2003. On average. Patients who weren’t hypnotized felt more pain over time regardless of how much medication they received. involving more than 330 patients.” Using imaging technology. all the directions you can go and finally realizing that your life is a journey not just a destination. so the suggestions are not something the person has to think about or remember. the hypnotized subjects used less medication. While it is particularly effective in removing anger. A journey that you can now control. Operations on the hypnotized patients averaged 17 minutes less than those of the other patients.The results of the study were published in The Lancet. While in the trance.” says Spiegel. The snapshots show a decrease of arousal in the cortex. and felt far less anxiety than the other two groups. In effect. HEART FIRE Hridaya Yoga Hridaya (heart fire) Yoga is a form of visualization rather than the usual physical movements one associates with yoga. Once again. recovered faster and spent less time in the hospital than those with standard care. which could account for heightened attention. then the real fun can start. If you think you are seeing color. the hypnotized patients used less medication. a Los Angeles psychologist and assistant clinical professor at the UCLA School of Medicine who has used hypnosis for more than 20 years. realizing all the possibilities available to you.” says Marc Schoen.

we each have to deal with something. resentment or any other negative emotion that might be directed towards us at various times during the course of a lifetime. HYPNOSIS My goal is not tell clients what to think. With a bit of practice. though. Some little problem or some big problem. We have to cope with irritating. you can do this exercise while awake. This is what happens to your own Heart Fire when you attempt to block negative emotions from either yourself or those being aimed at you. I use hypnosis to accomplish this. It grows dim when we try to protect it from anger. this imagery of fuel focuses on the negativity and anger of others and your own. 52 . rude or just plain nasty people.jealously. Sometimes. My purpose is to help them remember. © Copyright 2003. As we each move through life. guilt or anything else that has been adversely affecting your life. All life starts as a spark. By focusing your thoughts on your heart fire. the truth is that you do not need to have a specific problem before turning to hypnosis. this spark can grow a little dim. The Heart Fire exercise can be found at the back of this book. not at this time (these are images we feed our mind when appropriate). The fire in the heart burns more brightly when fed fuel. as that fire burns away the fuel it feeds on. I’m not talking about feeding your heart with love and pleasant images. even when standing in front of another person without them even being aware of what you are doing. hurt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Trying to protect your heart is backwards. a spark of creation and this spark never dies as long as the physical body survives. When I say fuel. Why Hypnosis? I have found that most people think they need to be in the middle of a crisis or a specific need such as losing weight or to quit smoking before seeking out hypnosis. Problems that we encounter every single day. resentment. tension and minor frustrations. It’s all right there inside their subconscious. unhealthy or even dangerous situations. unpleasant. Try it once and feel the results. Each incident throughout the day affects us. hurt. stress. you can increase the size of the flames and when you do that the negativity literally does burn away. They already know what they need to in order to reach all their goals. If you can imagine building a wall around a fire. It is another powerful tool you can add to your arsenal. This spark is at the center of each person’s heart. sometimes major life altering situations and problems. And while they are correct to assume that hypnosis is effective in these instances. it gets smaller and smaller until it can no longer burn.

The subconscious must process and analyze every bit of information.We are bombarded every second of our lives with hundreds of message units. 53 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. hypnotists work with surgical patients to help speed their recovery. but the results will amaze and delight you. Hypnosis motivates the mind to focus on its goal. you will feel refreshed. You can most effectively get to this root by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. a professor of psychology at Harvard. If there is anything in your world. The bottom line is that hypnosis can change your life. some not so pleasant and some extremely destructive. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting how we think. Most of this is done automatically and without our conscious awareness. © Copyright 2003. you create a vivid. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier. Hypnosis can help you achieve your desires. Imagery has long been used in hypnosis not only as a means of motivation but for pain relief and healing. not only will you feel better immediately. feel or react. anything at all about yourself. Giving you a feeling of relaxation. Sometimes it becomes necessary to “clean house”. then moved to the realm of mystics and New Age healers. According to Stephen Kosslyn. Try hypnosis. or whether it is with a CD or downloadable session. As a result. hypnosis allows the body to tap into hidden reserves. Some pleasant. He compares its effect to that of breaking a world record in sports: “It changes our sense of the possible. and much better about yourself. hypnosis is now gaining a credibility in mainstream medicine. At teaching hospitals such as Mount Sinai School of Medicine in New York and Harvard Medical School. relaxed. intensely desirable vision of what it is you want or what it will be like when you’ve achieved your goal. you owe it to yourself to give yourself the gift of hypnosis. Whether it is a face-to-face or personal telephone session.” Using hypnosis. however. the more your self motivation techniques will work to keep you motivated. comfort. Hypnosis allows you to quickly and easily clean out unnecessary negative message units that have been stored up in your subconscious. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your unconscious mind. Positive goals you want to move toward are much more powerful motivators than those goals or the negative behavior that you want to move away from. euphoria and control of your life again. every message unit. At one time hypnosis was mainly considered purely entertainment. Sometimes it becomes necessary to do even more and really focus on releasing old images or beliefs we clung to our whole lives. The more visual and real you make your goal. more positive thoughts. your life or your surrounds that you are dissatisfied with. it allows you to also do some deep releasing work. This technique of hypnosis has long been used for dieters wanting to lose weight with a high success rate and as well as for those who want to quit smoking.

More and more doctors as well as patients. failure or success. Simply put. build self-confidence. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. Taking control of our thoughts and thinking becomes crucial to having the life you want to live. boost your mood. This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. September 26. What we think and what we visualize can actually trigger this interaction of chemicals and electrical activity which can encourage development of some neuro pathways while allowing others to atrophy. that internal dialog that we all have is considered a fact by our subconscious no matter how ridiculous. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life. ever practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. INTUITION IMAGERY Imagery and Visualization An instructor of mine from my hypnotherapy training days. there is a very important restriction to remember when attempting selfhypnosis. etc. etc. 2006. silly or stupid it may be and this is why it is so crucial to take back control of your thoughts. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind. because your brain [subconscious] reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. can often help the other. Self-hypnosis as well can be a very powerful tool.. fear or confidence. Your subconscious mind can direct your thoughts to create pain or pleasure. who I especially admire. what we say to ourselves. recognize that mental states and physical well-being are connected. a very powerful tool to have in your arsenal and available to each and every one of you. feel more determined by the thoughts you think. What we experience as Cheryl is talking about imagery. The brain is simply another organ in your body. However. and change your life . Your ability to overcome obstacles.cheryloneil. “It might be the most important thing you will ever learn. www. fixing a problem in one place. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body.” What we think. depressed © Copyright 2003. good or bad.I 54 . are at a cellular level no more complicated than an interaction of chemicals and electrical activity. heal your body. and it operates on the same biochemical principles as any other organ. Never. create passionate relationships.” Cheryl O’Neil. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. mend your ways. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. once wrote. As stated in Woman’s World. Conversely.

or negative. Is essence, what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. This would be the time to use a positive reinforcement recording, CD or downloadable session. However, without specifically counting yourself down into self-hypnosis, use of imagery and visualization any time can have positive effects for whatever you are seeking at that moment. Many of the exercises at the end of this book include visualization techniques that you’ll find helpful. So, yes imagery and visualization can change your life, can change how your feel, relieve pain, increase your self-confidence, boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! By using your imagination (imagery and visualization) and your subconscious you can build or rebuild your confidence by creating a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident. There are few traits more important than confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization, you are actually training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the confidence you need to reach your goals. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence; they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash to yourself about yourself. The very root of all the negative things you think and say about yourself is in your subconscious mind. You can get to the root of it all by accessing that part of your mind with hypnosis. You will be able to replace all of the negative thoughts with healthier, more positive thoughts and feeling much better about yourself in the process. I read something recently and I’m not even sure where, but I copied it down because it is important to remember this: “All too often we let our fears get the better of us. We waste precious days getting so caught up in our concerns that we can hardly think about anything else. Eventually, the clouds clear and we see how silly we have been. Our most valuable possession is not life: it is the ability to enjoy life. If that is taken away from us - or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it - we lose everything.” Use the power of your mind, your subconscious and your imagination by using imagery and visualization to create the life you want and the world you want to live in.

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Developing Intuition Developing intuition, psychic, energy vibes ,clear your mind, mediation By Dawn Abraham By developing intuition I gave myself a scary but exciting upper hand in life. I will take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. You will learn how you too can do the same! I gave myself a some time scary but awe-inspiring upper hand in life. When I first started to make the effort to develop my intuition I had no idea the wonderful and amazing surprises that were in store for me. I started to feel like I had an unfair advantage in life that other people didn’t have. Then I realized that other people have it too they just don’t know how to use it. Sit tight and get ready to walk into an existence where your intuition is your greatest ally. I am going to take you on a journey here that opens up a world of possibilities you probably never knew existed. Did you know we all have the ability to sense when something isn’t right, not just some time but all the time? We all have what is called gut instinct, when your gut is telling you something that is your intuition. We all have a built in system that if we pay attention to it tells us what decisions to make who really has our best interests at heart and if another person is being honest with us. I now use my intuition for everything I do in life. It is like having an angel on my shoulder that has my best interests at heart. Imagine that for a moment you have your own angel on your should that has your best interests at heart. Who wouldn’t want that? It is one of life’s gifts to us that we don’t all take advantage of. In developing intuition you first want to start with bringing your attention to how it feels in your body, where it is in your body. Some people feel it in there stomach others may feel it in their throat or head. Start paying attention to your body and what it is telling you when you meet someone or have to make an important decision in life. For instance, you meet someone for the first time, it is a business meeting you are introduced by a colleague. Within the first minute or so you have made a judgment about the person, the way they are dressed how they speak and carry themselves. This is the first impression, it is mainly visual. After the visual impression you have a feeling about the person. That feeling is your intuition. You may notice that as you are listening to them talk about themselves or their business your body has a reaction to the other persons energy vibration. At that time you will either like them or not. I am sure you can remember back to meeting
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someone and saying I don’t know why but I just don’t like that person. Or something doesn’t feel right to me about the situation, business deal or the person in general. Those feelings are your intuition, and when you look back you’ll notice that feeling was right wasn’t it? If this is new to you the next time you meet someone pay attention to your body and the feelings you have about the other person. You will realize for yourself what I am saying. The energy that is coming from that person does not lie and you have the natural ability to detect it. A person can tell you anything, but their true intentions will come through in the energy vibes they are giving off. That is why it is important to pay attention when you hear that little voice saying to you, “Something isn’t right here.” A lot of people will recognize that something isn’t quite right but then they will ignore those feelings. This is the second part of developing intuition paying attention to your gut feeling. How many times have you known something and not paid attention to it and then said, I should have listened to my gut feeling? Me too. I got so sick of saying that I decided to not only start paying attention but really tuning in to my intuitive abilities. You can do this by taking the time to remind yourself you are going to pay attention today to your natural instincts and everything that is going on around you. The more aware you are the more your will awaken your intuition. Remember your intuition is what you are feeling not what you are thinking. If you understand the difference between those two things you are 90% to developing intuition! The third part in developing intuition is practice. You want to practice and exercise your intuition just like any other muscle. I know there are some of us that have stronger intuitive abilities then others but I have found that everyone has the potential to enhance their intuition no matter where you are now. You can practice so you get to a point where you have significantly enhanced your life in every way. What are some the ways you can practice developing intuition? Start to think about a loved one or someone special to you. Take some time to really picture them in your mind. Do this for a few days in a row. Don’t be surprised if they call you or when you run into them and they say I have been thinking about you lately I was going to call you. Practice with things in your every day life, if your loose something you can use energy scanning by closing your eyes and let energy expand all around you, see it

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allowing you to have a system in place where you move through life easily and effortlessly. Abundance. Private & Group Coaching. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. This is beneficial because at that point I can choose to tune into my body and my intuition and allow it in. 58 . Meditation also helps with developing intuition because it clears your mind and helps you to focus which in turn allows the intuitive part of your brain the clarity it needs to sense or see what is really going on in a given situation.fill your entire home then see if a image or feeling about where the lost item is comes to you. The more you do these types of things the better you will get at using and developing intuition.” How true is that! When you start to put your energy toward developing intuition you will be amazed at how your psychic awareness starts to grow. 98% of the time I am right. You know that saying. The fourth part is training your mind. Go with your first impression you get from each card. You may get a warm sensation for red and a cold sensation for black. We all have this gift it’s about taking the time to perfect it and grow it. Motivation. Another way I practice is with elevators. “Official Guide for Small Business Marketing at Selfgrowth. When I’m not I know that I have too many other thoughts in my head to allow the intuitive part of myself to function at 100%. I wish for you all the happiness and success the Universe has to offer! Dawn Abraham Certified Life/Business Coach. Reiki. partners with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. Free Life Changing Mp3’s and Teleclasses are offered go to: http://www. When I am waiting for an elevator I try to see which one will open first. place four cards down in front of you move your hands over the cards slowly and see if you can feel which ones are black and which ones are red. use a deck of cards.qualifiedlifecoach. Self Esteem. See if you picture a particle room or area in your mind and then go there to look for your lost item. John Holland a successful well known psychic © Copyright Law of Attraction. “What we think about we bring about. You rise above thinking in mediation.

and if so. they lie in wait like a crouching tiger waiting until someone or some event exposes 59 . It is an immediate knee jerk reaction. what comes up as jealousy really is a lack of communication. guilt and a lack of self-esteem. no matter what that entails. you may go into a rage. compromises and a lack of open and honest communication. You want to see them become more of who they are. projections. frequently and explicitly your needs and expectations with your partner.J JEALOUSLY Jealousy. Frequently what we call love really is nothing more than attachment. If both of you want to create a safe and secure relationship. Love and Relationships Jealousy and suspicion are usually the result of unfulfilled expectations. If you can cool down. Many couples find that over time they have smothered themselves in unexpressed needs and desires. in control of yourself and your partner. It is what we would call unconditional or true love. How you see a relationship affects it from the very beginning. enjoy their life. and grow. When we are unable to express our needs to those closest to us. step back and get control of this initial reaction that most often accompanies jealousy. What do you do when you’re jealous? You may try to find out if your lover has betrayed you with someone else. delusions. That’s the truth of love. Often. You are angry. Love cannot survive between two lives lived in this suffocating environment and any eroticism or intimacy that the relationship may have had will be destroyed. in the process improve your relationship or future relationships. Attachment is an entirely different kind of beast. You feel violated. The first step is to clarify to yourself what you want and expect in a relationship and then to share this with your partner. It is important to recognize the difference between love and attachment. When you love your partner you want to see them thrive. envy. You want to manipulate whatever and whoever you can so that you can feel in control again. With attachment you want to make your partner conform to a projected or preconceived idea of who you think they should be. You want to stop what you are feeling. It is essential to communicate clearly. To love someone is to love the uniqueness of who and what that person is. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Attachment is not caring for your partner as much as it is caring for © Copyright 2003. you may both tend to conceal anything that you think might threaten that relationship. you might find you can use this situation to learn more about yourself and perhaps. succeed. You want revenge.

yourself and your preconceived idea of what a relationship should be. you will find this is constructive and healing for the relationship rather than destructive not only to the relationship but to your own well being. Attempting to manipulate your partner is an external attempt find a solution. not within the relationship. What do you believe? Do you believe that if you are in a relationship with someone that it must be exclusive and committed? If so. and with this knowledge and a true desire to communicate with your partner. Jealousy is like an onion. you cannot make a person love you. If you can do this. If you move inward and look at yourself. Whatever illusions you may have as to who is to blame or who is at fault. Can one person actually posses another and should they? The fact is. layers and layers of misunderstanding which can be overwhelming and frightening. you are not in a loving relationship if you think that you must possess the other person. You can give yourself the gift. you will often experience the pain of jealousy. Is this the sort of control that is suitable and acceptable to you? If you take the time to look at your actions and discover that you do attempt to manipulate and control in this way you’ve learned something about yourself. © Copyright 2003. You know that subconsciously you have turned your lover into a possession. where does this belief come from? Is it based on a prior experience or do you feel that your partner is your possession? Are they something to be arranged and moved around like a piece of furniture. The most common but also the most ineffective way to deal with jealousy is by trying to control your partner. The first step is to examine your buried ideas and expectations of how one should act in a relationship. You may occasionally be able to exert control over your lover and in doing so think that this proves he or she loves you. the mechanics of jealously or what needs to be done. the possibility of selfunderstanding and in the process you may find freedom from the hurt and pain of suspicion and 60 . This distinction needs to be understood before you can understand any relationship. you are refusing to acknowledge that there are layers and the possibility exists there are misunderstandings. you may be able to reach an understanding of yourself and your partner. In blaming others and attempting to control them and the relationship. you cannot. you can use the situation that triggered the jealousy to clarify your needs and expectations. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It does not. If you spend your time attempting to control and possess you can never really touch the inner uniqueness of that person. Whatever control you think you might be able to exert over your partner. the jealousy resides within you. If you work at peeling off all the layers of misunderstanding and projection you give yourself the ability to reach the core of the problem. Attempting to manipulate your lover is a poor solution. If your relationship is based on Attachment.

The primary emotions I have discussed at this point have been resentment. Jealousy is jealousy and if you are experiencing it. Becoming aware of what you are feeling and discovering the source behind it can give you the power to understand yourself better and to alleviate the pain. Another layer is projection. It is my belief that in most situations guilt is a useless emotion and that is particularly true in this situation. Use it as an opportunity to understand yourself a bit more use it for self realization and the chanced to heal something within your.Every person has their own individual and unique sexuality. the ones that cause you pain and fill you with jealousy. but that he or she is actually doing something about them. It is their own. they are not who you expected or wanted © Copyright 2003. By peeling away the layers of your jealously. it has nothing to do with what you’ve been told you should feel. You do not own it. Look at the reality. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It has nothing to do with what you’ve read in a novel or saw in a movie. there is nothing to feel guilty about. Anger or even resentment that your partner is not who you thought they were or maybe its just that they are just having much more fun than you. Envy is the frustrated longing for what someone else has. We think that we should be able to rise above it. The truth is that for most of us. envy. Perhaps what you are really feeling is anger. It is possible that you might think you are experiencing jealously when this isn’t the case at all. These all grow out of expectation. This insight. this realization can help you understand and overcome jealousy more than any other. really look and analyze them. Sometimes we suspect that our partner is being unfaithful because we have been or we are thinking about being unfaithful. the moment we make a commitment to be sexually exclusive with someone. we find envy. Another layer can be guilt. guilt or anger. you can reach self-awareness. You are not responsible for their sexuality and you cannot control it. and guilt are nothing more than pointers to your own needs and awareness. Envy is often mistaken for jealousy. the truth behind what you are feeling. and it has every to do with what you are actually and truly feeling. This is projecting. Going down to an even deeper layer. we will almost inevitably start thinking about what we might be missing and perhaps even feeling that we want to be with others. Look at your beliefs. If you do not acknowledge these feelings to yourself and realize that these thoughts are normal to have. This is natural and normal. And what they choose to do about it is their own affair. you could begin to believe that your partner is not only having these same thoughts. Projection. You are angry with your lover because he or she has violated your expectations. Sometimes we feel guilty because of the fact that we are jealous. We can experience envy when we think that our partner is having more fun than we are. get rid of the ones that aren’t 61 .

You are so controlled yourself that you are unable to allow yourself to be overwhelmed by the ultimate experience of love and excitement Love should not be focused on only one object. There is an even deeper fear that can come from our childhood. let that guide you. When you attempt to possess another person. fear of being alone. Hypnosis can help. Perhaps you fear abandonment. We all carry within ourselves memories of early childhood fears and experiences. You can be experiencing love itself deeper within its own fullness. Maybe there is something wrong with your body or you aren’t exciting enough. All sorts of self-doubt can surface. they still don’t meet your expectations. You aren’t clever enough or you don’t have enough 62 . we can understand that what we are experiencing now can actually come from fears we experienced in our childhood. Once you release the anger. fear of not being worthy of love. If you do this you can see that at the core of jealously there is fear.them to be and no matter how hard your try to change or control them. then what you are experiencing is not love. It is as if you threw a pebble into a pond and you can see the ripples moving outward in larger and larger circles. You can start projecting your own fears and low self-esteem on to another persons actions. When you love. and let that be who you are. You become vulnerable. what you are actually doing is blocking your ability to truly experience love. If you love someone. Out of fear you are wasting the opportunity to have a relationship that can give you an experience of bliss. what you will be able to experience is an overflowing of love for everything in your life. Surrender to it. they are merely an illusion that you are torturing yourself with because of fear. All of these layers tend to have more to do with illusion than with reality. frequently they are not real. you can watch that love radiate out for all. © Copyright 2003. You do not need to control another and you do not need to be afraid. By looking deep within. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Fear of loss. the resentment and the hurt. or perhaps from a prior bad relationship or series of bad relationships. If you really love and if you can move away from your fear. If you find yourself doing this. They come from our past. You do not need to experience jealously. If you try to possess or if you have a preconceived and inflexible belief about what a relationship should be. With attachment you are channeling all of your love in one limited direction. go deep into your own unique experience of what that love is. Open your heart and mind to it. but attachment. With love you are experiencing something in one direction (love) that frees you in all directions simultaneously. look deep within yourself at these feelings. Examining these possibilities is another way that jealousy can teach you more about yourself. If you are experiencing jealously. you can remove the blame that is probably part of the equation. The stomach-churning pain of jealousy and fear of abandonment can come from that vulnerability. our childhood. You can choose to move away from those feelings. you become yourself possessed.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. if you 63 . present and future and because of this. In religions that incorporate reincarnation. The philosophical explanation of karma can differ between traditions. The law of karma is affected by all of our deeds past. KISMET KARMA In its most basic form. KISMET Kismet is synonymous with destiny which is a predetermined course of events. Karma is not meant in its truest form as a punishment or retribution but simply a consequence of our actions. we are responsible for our own life and in addition we are responsible for all the pain and joy that we experience in our life as a result of the karmic benefits we’ve earned or not earned in this life or prior lifetimes. Most people © Copyright 2003. Karma is the universal principle of cause and effect. Might not be such a bad idea to think about that for a minute before you do something you know you shouldn’t. karma is the concept of “action” or “deed” in Indian religions and understood as that which causes the entire cycle of cause and effect. The key to winning the karma game is intelligent action and dispassionate responses. karma extends through one’s present life and all past and future lives as well. action and reaction that governs and controls all life.K KARMA. Karma refers to the total compilation of our actions and the reactions to those actions in this and previous lives. is there a small part of you that does think you earn karmic points by your actions? I think the bigger issue is free will and the ability to create your own destiny. or alternatively. but generally the concept is basically the same. Destiny can be seen either as a fixed sequence of events that is inevitable and unchangeable. The concept originated in ancient India and treated in Hindu. maybe something for you to keep in mind as you travel through this life. Sikh and Buddhist philosophies. There is no judgment involved. Just a thought. all of which determine our future. Do you believe in karma? Even if you do not. by human will (the concept of Manifest Destiny). that individuals choose their own destiny by choosing different paths throughout their life. Jain. Fate makes no allowances for the power of free will. Karma should not be mistaken for the concept of fate. Karma on the other hand does and therefore we can create our own destiny. Destiny may be envisioned as ordained by God or.

In the belief systems of many cultures. There are those who believe that one’s destiny may be ascertained by divination. although the words Destiny and Fate are frequently used interchangeably. Fate is currently used as a power or force that predetermines and orders the course of events that is inevitable. Participation is the key that we want to focus on here. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” Because this is a recurring philosophy in human history. stop standing on the sidelines letting others control your Destiny. one’s destiny can only be learned through a shaman. but with destiny the person is participating in achieving the outcome. Current thinking is that you can take control of your Destiny and you do this by participating in your own life. If you are not satisfied with your life. In the Shang dynasty in China. participate and change the direction you are 64 . Destiny can be demonstrated in the solder’s belief that there is a “bullet that has your name on it” or in a much more positive thought of a romance that was “meant to be. turtle bones were thrown ages before the I Ching (a divination method) was codified. prophet.associate Destiny with fate. Fate implies no choice. saint or seer. it would appear that humans are more comfortable with the idea that there must be a hidden purpose to our existence. fate and destiny are not the same. Step in. which is a huge component of the human psyche. and is an outcome determined by an outside force acting upon a person. but fate makes no allowance for free will. Fate suggests a finality to events while Destiny implies an inevitability to events as they work themselves out. The idea that life could be like a lottery simply isn’t acceptable to most people. © Copyright 2003. As stated above.

LOVE. The Magic of Being a Creator In order to reap the benefits of the law of attraction you want to start with creating what you want to attract. The sooner you clear that up the quicker you can get on with creating your ideal life. The concept of the law of attraction 65 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It is important that you see it in writing and declare what it is. If this rings true for you then understanding that it takes energy and commitment to wrap your self around the idea that you actually have a say in where the chips are going to fall is imperative.” It’s about where you put your focus.L LAW OF ATTRACTION. “Let the chips fall where they may”. If you want to be a famous singer write that down. I am continually surprised how many people don’t know what they want. if you want to open your own business where you are the boss you would write: Own and operate a small business from my house that generates $250. LIFE.00 a year income.000. LUCK LAW OF ATTRACTION The Law of Attraction… What They Forgot to Tell You! By Dawn Abraham The law of attraction is simple yet so many people are having a difficult time getting the results they want. That means you create every experience you have in your life good or bad. What ever it is. People let the chips fall where they may and then react to them. It’s easy enough to say that but try doing it when you are use to allowing your attention to go anywhere the action is. that can help you with exactly that. is a good analogy. The old saying. Putting it out into the Universe Start with writing down on paper what you want. start by writing it down. For example. if you don’t know what you want to create then you won’t get it. “What you think about will happen in your life. If you were writing a novel you wouldn’t hope your audience figures out what is going to happen next you would tell them what is going to happen next by typing it on the page. © Copyright 2003. With the law of attraction it is essential that you first understand you are a creator. I talk about this a lot with clients and in my law of attraction Master Mind Groups. If you don’t know what you want that right there is a major stumbling block. I wrote an article Life Purpose how to get one.

talk to those people. you then attracted it. It is in the believing that you allow the vibration of what you want to match the vibration of what you are asking for. If you put something out there and it gets feedback and you let that go your stopping the law of attraction right 66 . The Importance of Allowing Once you know what you want and you have put it out there in the Universe. now grab it. Now the key here is to follow up with this. If someone really believes they don’t deserve something then when an opportunity is presented they often over look it. Now that you have set this up. Don’t worry that it doesn’t look exactly like you thought it would. That part is important but alone it will not create what you want in your life. Be Open to Receive in Many Different Ways When the law of attraction is set in motion it is important to ride the wave and not stop it. don’t panic. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. There is something there to be learned or gained. pay attention to what happens next. When someone says you need to see this movie or read that book or go to that seminar based on what you just said. How you will know if you are not allowing is when you have put your desire out in the universe and you get no response back. That is the Universe guiding you to what you asked for. At this point it is important to know that you have started something very powerful in putting out to the world what you want. pay attention. your job is to notice it and then do something about it. In this phase it is so important that you notice what it happening around you and who is happening around you.The next step in the law of attraction is allowing. Now you want to look and see if you really believe it can happen. The opposite of that is when someone is in tune with their desire then they see opportunities everywhere. They have ideas on where I should go or who I should call. It’s not enough alone to just write down or say or even visualize what you want. etc. I promise you it will show up. You have made it clear. It is your responsibility to investigate that lead. You may have had a picture in your mind about what you want and how you were going to get it. allowing it to happen is vital. You asked for what you wanted. If people start showing up in life that seem to be doing what you want to do that is no mistake. If something comes up to lead you in the direction of your desire and it looks different than what you thought. Your probably aren’t allowing the responses in the way of people and opportunities. I noticed for myself that when I want something and I let other people know they often know someone who has done that or who is looking for someone to work with on that type of project. that is the beauty of the law of attraction it sometimes comes © Copyright 2003.

that is the Universe telling you go….com.qualifiedlifecoach. who has no idea that she is.” James Allen Dawn Abraham /CTACC. Not only that. the sooner we can learn to love ourselves and our lives. www. We are living the life we were meant to live with all the joys and sorrows and lessons and fun. the alternative is death and that is not an acceptable alternative. So live your life. and contain within yourself that transforming and regenerative agency by which you may make yourself what you will. Things happen Things we cannot plan for and things we cannot control. she said “You didn’t waste those years. you used several of them to fight drinking and to fight becoming an alcoholic. He’d had a drinking problem for many years and was in AA and had not been drinking for at least 3-4 LIFE These thoughts are from my friend Brisa. life is messy.” And I realized as she told me this. It is never wasted and it is never lost. originally thought of. You never. We cannot make everything nice and neat and perfect. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. maybe © Copyright 2003. Go to my web site for more information. tele-classes and resources are offered. Individual Coaching. whatever that may entail because that’s your life. but he was lamenting the wasted (and he felt) lost years.GO! We’ve got your back! Wishing you all the success in the Universe! “As a being of power. None of us can compare our lives to others because we aren’t living that life. you used them to learn about a different package. Be open to going about it in a different way then you When you can open your mind in this way you will find the doors swinging open in all directions instead of slamming closed behind you. I specialize in working with professionals and entrepreneurs to create balanced lives while earning more money. As a Life Coach / Business Coach. a very wise woman. Qualified Life Coach “Official Guide and expert” for “Small Business Marketing” at Selfgrowth. This is an exciting time when you start to get responses back. intelligence and love you hold the key to every situation. She told him something I want to share with all of you. If we don’t like the fact that life is like this. Group Coaching. A friend of Brisa’s said to her once that he was 42 and he felt that he had wasted so much of his 67 . The sooner we realize and accept that.

LOVE Compassion I don’t like Valentine’s Day. The message really is that you need to be in love with you. often including a desire to help. I can see you all now rolling your eyes. Each of us really is truly uniquely perfect exactly as we are. partnered. or all the commitments that you may have been avoiding. even with those extra pounds or those unfinished chores. I’m not sure why exactly. We experience love in a variety of ways including heartache. you can and you should and you will if you allow yourself to.just around the corner something is waiting for you and the unique experiences that you have had. Show yourself and others a bit of compassion. Compassion (Com-pas’sion).” When we talk about compassion.] Shak. understand that you are uniquely perfect just as you are. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. [Obs. though that Valentine’s Day is a symbolic celebration of love and that each and every one of us is here. never have. trust . compassion and faith. you are perfect. then. That doesn’t mean you can’t still grow and change. the definition of compassion is: “Wanting others to be free from suffering. com·pas·sion. Valentine’s Day should be and is for every person whether you are single. A noun. © Copyright 2003. dating. then compassion for all the messiness and the baggage that each of us carries around with us wherever we go. married or alone. First. I have found several definitions for the word Compassion. When in reality we all know that it is primarily the jewelers. [I don’t care much for this one] And the last one which I like the best. candy makers and florists who benefit from this particular “event”. healing. I know. living this life to experience love. all kinds of love. each of us must generate a genuine sense of selfacceptance and self-love first. Definition: sympathy: sympathy for the suffering of others. I was reminded recently. romance. some which I like and others not so much. maybe its all the hype that surrounds Valentine’s Day forcing us to think that if we don’t receive that special present. t. but yes. those flowers or jewelry that maybe our significant other doesn’t really love us enough or maybe we just aren’t special 68 . sex. v. Definition: To pity.

Another thing that is so important to remember. then someone else. Give yourself a break. then this love and compassion for yourself will shine through and with that shining. If each of us can live our life knowing and demonstrating that we can love ourselves in spite of all our 69 . People who think that they are lucky actually do experience better fortune and more luck in their lives than those people who believe they are unlucky. can start to love themselves as well. If you are willing to love your imperfect body or your absent-mindedness. work with or just come into contact with. nobody can make it for you. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. measurable phenomenon. as well. that negative voice in your head. someone around you. just maybe those people whose lives we touch. your stillin-development relationships to work or money or love and your tendency to be self-centered. then maybe. treat yourself with compassion and that compassion will flow outward to everyone and everything in your world. you can and you should refuse to listen to that brokenrecord monologue that runs in your head (we each have one you know). heal others and yourself. the one that analyzes all your mistakes and failures and puts them onto a list of things that you must do before you can believe that you are O. Luck is a real.K. in the process. Instead of listening to that old record. why not switch the channel to the 24-hour positive affirmative reinforcement channel. those we live with. with all their faults. and. in spite of similarly messed-up exquisiteness. places or events that you attract for one reason for another. wonderful and miraculous things out there that are waiting for you to come to you? It is your decision to make. That’s a motivating cause worth fighting for. one that you can get behind. LUCK Don’t you just love synchronistic events or fortunate coincidences when they happen? Synchronicities are the people. © Copyright 2003. something I refer back to again and again throughout this book. My only question to your would be this. someone you touch may be more willing to love themselves. lazy or self-indulgent. “Are you ready to be lucky?” Are you ready to allow all the lucky. where a loop of “everything’s just as it should be” repeats over and over again until it is ingrained in your subconscious.

American psychologists have been slow to recognize how men’s emotions affect their behaviors and their health. six million American men were diagnosed with depression in 2007. with all these statistics facing us. The anti-depressant that works for one person may do nothing more than cause nausea in another. Depression has been linked to heart disease and attacks. “Depression may look like a single disease. sex.D. Miller has stated in his Newsweek Special Issue article. MIND-BODY CONNECTION. During the past 50 years. MIND SUCCESS MALE DEPRESSION The Hidden Illness According to a Newsweek. 2007 article. The truth is that many of the symptoms of depression can be so severe (such as drug. In addition. depression has been viewed primarily as a female problem. M. It wasn’t considered a manly illness to have. certainly not for a real man. American men of all ages have killed themselves at a rate that is at least 4 times more common than women. or even make the depression worse. (Harvard Medical School). Depression can manifest in many different forms. “No matter how sophisticated the tools and treatments become. because millions more will attempt to keep their pain hidden and suffer in silence.e. the depression and the cause of that depression. not something macho like lung cancer (responsible for John Wayne’s death) or dying in battle. the result of fluctuating hormones and overly emotional natures. gambling addictions or alcoholism) that they are frequently misdiagnosed and mistaken and it is the symptom that is treated as the illness (i. February 26. Physician and patients alike search through and try various medications and treatments looking for help. the macho male figure and that depression is for the weak. strokes and high blood pressure all of which affect men at a much higher rate and an earlier age than women. In the past. but the underlying causes vary. good mental-health care is also about helping people cultivate a sense of well-being…” © Copyright 2003. and so do the ideal treatments.M MALE DEPRESSION. and this is just the tip of the iceberg. One person may find it difficult to experience pleasure while another may be preoccupied with death. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att..” Michael Craig Miller. the addiction issue) rather than the true cause. This can make treatment especially difficult. As Dr. men are still frequently told and still believe that they must be the strong ones. I wonder what the estimate is for 2008 or 2009. And 70 .

love and happiness beyond measure. ability and capability of helping yourself and your mental-health by bringing these painful experiences (or trigger points) into the light where they can then be healed. without wanting or meaning to. Trying to accomplish this by yourself. but they are not protective nor are they a shield and they can cause you to experience anger. the healing process. however. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Forgiveness is necessary to free your spirit. There are side roads and trips that we might want or need to see. 2005. Hypnosis with it relaxation and repetitive nature is uniquely able to help you work through this process of releasing and resolving old issues.D. As Dr. bitterness. you can look at these experiences under the soothing blanket of hypnosis and in this way you can begin much more quickly. it goes against a natural human tendency to seek revenge. subconsciously we might withdraw into ourselves in our interpersonal relationships. without help. There are detours that we must take. Hallowell. smooth and without bumps or potholes. or we might become oversensitive and react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. a Harvard psychiatrist and author of “Dare to Forgive” states. fear. guilt and 71 .If you can imagine or visualize your life as a journey and a road that you travel. Ph. helping you regain strong mental-health. by using the relaxation techniques utilized in hypnosis and the power of your subconscious. Edward M. hurt. “Forgiveness… has to be cultivated. As I quote above. When you release the hurt. then you can also visualize that the road from point A (birth) to point B (death) is not always straight.. You feed your spirit and you increase your capacity for joy. When you recognize that this is occurring. difficult and painful process. it is also important to recognize that you have been given an opportunity. When this occurs. This is not easy. fear or anger that you are experiencing. With the aid of hypnotherapy. releasing negative thoughts that have been harmful and freeing the spirit so that the healing process and take place may be the most important first step to regaining mental-health. it is possible to increase the effectiveness of the releasing process. Sometimes. there are mountains or lakes that we must or want to circumnavigate. The first step in this healing process is releasing and forgiving. Using © Copyright 2003. you take back control of your own life. we sometimes find that we encounter “trigger points”. Working from the inside out.” It is for this reason that he recommends getting help to accomplish this. These “trigger points” are wounds that have not healed with time and we learn to carry these wounds around with us almost like a protective shield. During the course of this journey and these detours. resentment. October 18. freeing your spirit and taking back control of your life and cultivating a true sense of well-being. “Repeat a positive statement often enough and it will become ingrained in your subconscious” says Adrian Calabrese. we can become particularly hurtful to those we care about. using only your conscious mind can be a slow. Woman’s World. The reality is that we must adapt to the demands of our environment.

Hamer demonstrated that when one does not deal with a painful emotion and instead represses or buries that emotion. hurt. imagery and hypnosis can help counter the effect of chronic stress. but our physical body as well. pathogens. the brain will react by triggering a very specific illness in the body associated with that said buried emotion.” Are these just glib psycho babble phrases or the ramblings of someone not in touch with the real world? Recent research indicates absolutely not! Research shows that our emotions and thoughts directly affect not only our spiritual well-being or what we might call our mental health. drug abuse and depression. Mind Body Connection “Smile and the world smiles with 72 . It can even be linked to suicide and increased workplace injuries. This has been proven by Dr. alcoholism.000 brain scans. The scientists from the University of Birmingham add that when the chemical is produced by the body it prevents depression. fear and guilt has very specific physiologic consequences. With the help of 20. Some of these are increased blood pressure and hormonal changes that are directly linked to cardiovascular disease. Of course there are many factors involved in cancer as in all disease. And research at Harvard suggests that the relaxation response which can be achieved through yoga. In addition. can lead to serious food addictions. Dr. immune suppression and possible impaired neurological function and memory. They will negatively affect the body in one way or another. But what happens when one does not succeed in dealing with negative and toxic emotions. including diet. Research studies have tied chronic anger to various diseases linked with a weakened immune system including coronary disease and cancer. Holding onto anger. They say that when serotonin is placed in a test tube alongside tumor cells of Burkitt’s lymphoma the cancer literally kills itself. chronic anger may trigger bad habits such as smoking and drinking. © Copyright 2003. Researchers at UCLA have found that in studies of HIV-positive men.” “Think happy thoughts and make your world better. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. a German physician. meditation. Scientists say they have found that one of the body’s “good mood chemicals” forces some cancer cells to actually commit suicide. eating disorders. Ryke Geerd Hamer. The body produced more nitric oxide when deeply relaxed and this molecule acts as an antidote to cortisole and other potentially toxic stress hormones. optimism is associated with stronger immune-cell function. hostility. The immune system cannot function when under a lot of emotional stress and the body must have a strong immune system in order to fight cancer cells. resentment.any of the exercises at the end of this book that feel right to you will help as well as the downloadable sessions sent to you when you purchased your book.

anger is what you will bring into your life. etc. thought or image. white flour. what you focus on is what you will bring into your life. stay vigilant and pay attention not only to your body. I have been there and there is a way out. Take control of your own thoughts and actions. I’ve found that hypnosis works even faster by “talking” directly to your subconscious and bypassing the resistance that we are all capable of putting up. Success is a process of continually learning new information. vaccines. It is important to remember this and I have written it over and over throughout this book. I know that when you are feeling beaten down and depressed this seems like an impossible feat. use it and use it frequently. Ph. pesticide and/or herbicide residues as to be almost toxic by themselves). Success is largely an inner game. your physical health is at risk as well if you do not. Remember there is a mind/body connection and you are the best person to know just how that connection is working for you at any given moment. Focus on love or fun or joy or any of the wonderful things that this life and this world can offer you and that is what you will bring more of into your life. if you focus on anger. Avoid refined carbohydrates (sugar. and © Copyright 2003. This is a way of thinking. Meditation works. and feed your body and mind what it needs to heal. whole grains.D. Releasing and purging toxic emotions is one way to help reduce stress and open up space for healing to occur. more than just your emotional well being is at stake. synthetic food additives and large quantities of animal products (which in our modern world contain so many steroid growth promoters.exposure to toxic substances. but to your thoughts as well. In addition to nurturing your mind. It requires that you develop a success mind. taking care of your physical body becomes even more crucial. MIND SUCCESS Success Mind: Developing the Inner Game By Mollie Marti. Studies conducted in China have shown that this type of therapy can actually reduce tumors while strengthening the immune system. hurt or resentment is a vital part of the growth of cancer cells and other diseases. but only if you take responsibility for your thoughts and your actions. emphasizing as many raw foods as possible. But you can use this to your advantage by focusing on any positive 73 . and this applies to any negative emotion. keeping track of what is working and what is not. etc). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Whatever your preference is for relaxation and whatever method works best for you. fish and other sources of low fat protein such as legumes and tofu and take control of your thoughts. guide them in a positive direction. Believe me. yoga can help. a way of being and a way of doing that drives you forward through the good times and the tough times. but emotional suppression or its counterpart holding onto anger. Try to eat organically grown (if at all possible) fruits and vegetables.

© Copyright 2003. We practice them over and over again until they become our automatic response. The success mind continues to do and learn and grow and expand. Take time to dream. Research shows that we can overcome or manage nearly all fears through education. “So what?” Successful people take complete responsibility and ownership for their lives. Taking risks is one of the hardest things for people to do. It focuses on leveraging experiences over time and continuously gaining more and more experiences. fear of what other people will think. The success mind trains itself to 74 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. make adjustments along the way. The success mind knows this secret: The more we do things. if you talk to any star athlete. It is easier to stay put than risk adversity. exploring one more option or opportunity. the less we fear them. Take action. and modify your goals and processes as your knowledge changes. they will tell you the same thing: They learned more from their failures than from anything else. fear that we are not good enough.making adjustments as you keep moving forward. You will find that taking action on the inspiration that comes from dreaming will provide you with extraordinary life experiences. fear of failure. and create new realities. The success mind is geared toward taking chances and gives itself permission to fail. It is about constantly challenging yourself to newer and bigger challenges and rewarding yourself as you reach your goals along the way. hardship. It is about doing one more thing when everyone else has stopped. You don’t need to start from a place of perfection (which rarely exists). and keep moving forward. The success mind understands that success goes beyond the mind to favor action. Yet. and work to eliminate the roots of these limitations. and gradual exposure to the triggers of our fears. and failure. Fear of change. or successful businessperson. knowing that it truly does not matter what anyone else thinks of them. Most fears are simply learned behaviors. learn from your mistakes. generate new ideas. You will have to change to be successful. possibility is in the dreaming. conditioning. Only you have to live with your success or your failure. foster creativity. This is one of the laws of success. discover the underlying limiting beliefs. Gather new information. You cannot achieve great new things without changing who you are and what you do. The success mind has a powerful ability to envision big dreams. Savor these while continuing to take your dreaming to a whole new level to cultivate dreams that not only change your life and the life of your family and friends. Use the fear generated by change to further propel yourself forward toward greater confidence and success. see unlimited possibilities. Develop a process to examine your fears. inventor. Embrace all the possibilities as you think long term and thing big. you simply need to start. fear of hard work. While success requires action. but also change the world. One of the greatest barriers to successful change is fear.

This precious collection of experiences is something that no one can take away from you and will continue to enrich your life for years to come. You continue to grow. When you are presented with new and bigger opportunities. Question. Remember. They hold on to their belief even after everyone else stops believing. you can always say no later if it isn’t what you needed or if it isn’t getting you closer to your desired way of living. the opportunity often evaporates and you may not get it back. Make a commitment here and now to develop your success mind today. Not simply because you say yes. The time to begin is now. Your mind will make the connections between your goals and your situations and present you with opportunities that can move you forward. but because you condition your mind to see the opportunities that are all around you. Perhaps the simplest change you can make to most quickly put you on the path to developing a success mind is to develop a habit of saying “yes” to opportunities. form opinions. you will create even more opportunities for growth. determination and unwavering focus help them achieve what it is that they set out to do. As you create a habit of responding with a yes. challenge. your world and your success. Develop a success mind by putting in place a solid structure that supports © Copyright 2003. and grow. You will find that by saying yes to opportunities in your life. you will see that the “‘how” usually falls quickly into place. It is never too late to develop your success mind. This habit quickly will expand your opportunities. But once you say no to an opportunity. make it a resounding “yes!” Dive in. Successful people hold a passionate belief that they are doing something meaningful and worthwhile. try on new perspectives.Believe in yourself and in your dreams. and success. Once you’ve experienced a higher level of success in life. The confidence you hold in yourself and your mission will help you push through obstacles again and again. your actions. you can never flex back to a place of inaction and stagnation. The most successful people say yes to a wide variety of experiences and opportunities because the breadth of experience is what gives you a pool of knowledge from which to build powerful dreams and bulletproof action plans. think. the idea of not continuing this practice becomes unimaginable. adventure. Your thoughts. and your beliefs are the biggest predictors of your success. experience. your feelings. As you do this. When you experience how saying yes enriches and expands your life. This will continue to make your life bigger and propel you forward to new heights. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. watch the library of your life experiences expand exponentially. You might not feel ready and wonder how you are going to do what is being asked of you. When you say yes. A big part of success is being present enough to recognize opportunity and to seize it by simply saying yes. create. Mental toughness. you likely will feel 75 .

net 76 . and healthier lives. mediator.success and rewards your effort. engage again and refuse to quit. Inc. Mollie Marti. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. happier.molliemarti. Do this and you will be on your way to greater success than you imagined or www. Then use your success mind to evaluate the results..D.bestlifedesign. Ph. and successful entrepreneur to help others design and live their best life. Give yourself the room to experience and to fail. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. and smart for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. directed. make corrections.. Visit her at www. lawyer. © Copyright 2003. redirect the effort. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger.D. J. better. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. performance coach. is President of Best Life Design. Develop a process for getting up one more time than you fail. Dream big and take consistent. Stop caring what other people think.

A recent survey of mental health professionals rated NLP as having questionable validity as a psychotherapeutic technique. reframing and therapeutic metaphor have become standard practice in many therapeutic settings. Judith DeLozier and Stephen Gilligan and is a somewhat controversial interpersonal communication model and approach to psychotherapy initially co-created by Richard Bandler and linguist John Grinder in the 1970s.N NEURO-LINGUISTIC PROGRAMMING (NLP) Neuro-Linguistic Programming Neuro-linguistic programming or NLP was developed by Richard Bandler. the fact remains that NLP is still with us and has a large following not only in the therapeutic field. training and professional standards which can be confusing to the rest of us. NLP is a powerful tool to add to your arsenal and I would suggest that you research this interesting modality further. linguistics and computer science. NLP has found little support within the psychological profession. There is. Frequently when NLP is mentioned. management training. designed to give the impression of scientific respectability”). John Grinder. Despite its rough start and despite it’s numerous critics (such as cognitive neuroscience researcher Michael C. but in adapted uses outside of psychotherapy such as business communication. Robert Dilts. for those who believe in alternative or non-traditional therapy (such as hypnotherapy). sports. disagreement between several divergent groups within NLP which is reflected in different definitions. These are the types of claims that scientists and traditional therapists take exception to. NLP claims to draw from aspects of neurology. Unfortunately. © Copyright 77 . However. and many of the techniques used such as anchoring. and although there have been some efforts within the NLP community to improve its perceived benefits with recent research. sales. it is referred to in the context of “the power of the mind” and such claims as “you can achieve anything”. Corballis who said in 1999 that “NLP is a thoroughly fake title. and interpersonal influence. however. this has been difficult because it is spread thinly across the different disciplines and the fields. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.

O OVERLOAD The Overloaded Life
Have you ever had this happen to you: You go into a room to get something and then you promptly forget what it was you wanted to get? Or, you read a book or go to see a movie and a month later you can’t remember any of the details including the basic plot? It is all too easy to blame age and yes, sometimes age is the reason. But only sometimes, and not as often as you might think. More often than not, the real culprit is the stress of modern life or, in other words, The Overloaded Life. What exactly does overloaded mean? Well, most simply, too many message units or pieces of information, bombarding us every minute of every day. As an example of how we are being overloaded, every day we are confronted with approximately 30,000 pieces of advertising on billboards and in magazines and newspapers, on radio, television, bus stops, our computers and even in our elevators now. That’s only advertising, think about everything else that bombards us, decisions to make, traffic, sights, sounds, tastes, smells, good things and bad things. What you may not be aware of is how every single one of these message units creates a mini stress response in your body attacking your subconscious. While your subconscious is fighting this attack of message units, you physically start to experience stress, anxiety, forgetfulness and no energy which all combine to help lower your self esteem and a diminish your sense of well being. The bad news is that current research appears to document the fact that overloading is a major factor in premature aging of our brain cells. The good news is you can do something about it. There are several things you can do. You can start to make conscious choices about what you do and do not want in your life. As Janet Luhrs, Founder, Simple Living stated in her June issue, “Simplicity is not about being frugal and denying yourself what you really, truly want and love. It’s about making smart decisions with your time and money.” Setting your Smart Goals is a great way to consciously make those choices about what to keep, what to remove and what direction you want to go in. But being overloaded is about much more than only those things we are consciously aware of. Most of the message units received by the subconscious are dropped immediately into the subconscious without being filtered through our conscious awareness. This is not a bad thing when your life is running smoothly and there is nothing to cause

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you undue stress. Your subconscious is an expert at processing millions of pieces of information and discarding anything you do not need to know. The problems start when we go through a particularly stressful situation. Sometimes, that stressful situation is around for a long time causing that stress response subconsciously and the physical symptoms referenced above. When we are put into this type of situation, we naturally slip into a light form of hypnosis as a way for the body to cope. Hypnosis is a natural state for the human body, it is what we experience as we start to fall asleep, it is the state we are in when we first wake up and it is the state the body naturally goes into when it needs to process too much information or heal. The problems arise when we are in a negative, stressful situation for extended periods of time because we go into this light form of hypnosis and we don’t come out, making us super suggestible while in a negative situation. You can see how much damage can be done when this type of circumstance arises. Unfortunately, in our modern world, circumstances such as these arise all too often for too many of us. Aside from the conscious choices you can make to simplify your life and take back control, you need to help your subconscious. Since it was this inadvertent hypnosis that got you into trouble, the simplest solution is to use hypnosis to get you out. The fastest and quickest way to bring yourself totally out of hypnosis is by being deliberately put into hypnosis and then counted out and to do this repeatedly. Each time you are counted out, you come out a bit more from this hypnosis you’ve been living in. Do it often enough and you will bring yourself totally out. If you feel that this is something you have been experiencing, use the sessions you were given when you purchased your book and use them several times for at least three to four days. The difference in how you feel will amaze and delight you.

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Pain Relief When we think about pain, there is a major difference between chronic and acute. Using hypnosis, acute pain is actually easier to work with because it is recent. Chronic pain has been there for a while and is almost like a bad habit. A bit harder to get rid of but it is possible to reduce the pain enough so that some relief is possible. As with any “exercise” and using imagery or visualization is an exercise, repetition makes it better and stronger. It gets easier each time you do your exercise and the imagery appears faster. Understanding the dynamics of pain makes it easier to control. Pain does not exist unless it is acknowledged by your conscious mind. You can cut yourself or bruise yourself and if you are busy doing something else or thinking of something else, you might not really feel it until you happen to notice it, at which point the message is then sent to your consciousness that it must hurt. This pain message to your consciousness can be “turned down” with the aid hypnosis and imagery. This is a bit harder to do entirely on your own, but can still be quite effective if you use the imagery work. Always remember this, you do not want to eliminate the pain entirely. Pain is there for a reason. It let’s you know something is wrong, helps to keep you from reinjuring yourself and reminds you to do something about it. There are ways that you can turn it down to tolerable levels. In certain instances such as a broken bone, leaving an awareness is absolutely necessary for safety and well being. By removing all pain you could seriously re-injure yourself. There are three levels to tone down pain: 1. First you must put the pain into a more temperate form. Talk or think about discomfort rather than pain. 2. Put your pain in the past tense always refer to it or think about it as if it in the past (i.e., when my knee was hurting). 3. Control your state of mind (relaxed, free from stress, feeling positive). This is more easily done with the aid of hypnosis but is also possible using the imagery exercise only. The Pain Imagery exercise included will help you to turn down the pain. With a bit of practice you can do it quickly and easily. I had a client who was taking a lot of
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NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Also. Whether it makes us happy or sad. In those instances you might want to go with cooler colors such as green or blue cold. Reducing pain is one of the easiest exercises to do and is gratifying to work with because the results are immediate.medications for reasons I don’t need to discuss here. Use it for minor headaches. and it was important that he not add even more medication to his already extensive list despite the fact that he had just recently injured his back. activity. I taught him the pain imagery exercise included here. it is a very “hot” color and if you feel any heat in connection with your pain. The basic colors to use are: Red Orange Yellow Green Blue Purple Pink White life force. occurrence. red would probably not be the best color to 81 . Quantum theory has shown us that it is our perception of any incident. focus (if you have a problem with Orange. remember that red not only represents life force. You don’t have to be suffering from major pain to use this exercise. is determined by our own perception of the event rather than the actual event. © Copyright 2003. think we are making progress or stagnating. use Yellow) money. fire. peace creativity and psychic awareness love and heart health purity and protection The important thing to remember is to use whatever color feels right to you at the time you are doing the exercise. it works for minor aches and pains even better and saves you having to take a pill. His job involved him sitting for long periods of time at a computer and he suffered from the back pain this caused. Don’t be surprised if that color changes from time to time. Specific colors can also be effective in releasing and shrinking pain and discomfort. growth. He came to see me for several sessions and as part of our work. health healing. have feelings of joy or hopelessness. It works great! PERCEPTION Over the years I’ve come to observe how frequently people readily relinquish the control over their own future to someone else and usually to someone they don’t even respect or admire. situation or thing that determines what emotion we attribute to it. After a very short period of time he was able to take 2-3 minutes while sitting at his desk whenever needed and turn down the pain as often as he needed to. You have the power to change your perception. passion physical well being (most often used for pain control) success.

This is done repeatedly and each time you face your phobia. Blaming someone else for everything that you are not happy with can and will destroy anything meaningful and good in your life. Perhaps it is easier to place blame for the negativity in our lives onto someone else thereby abdicating any personal responsibility whatsoever. Take control. and again ordered to back off and release it and let it go. control it and use it wisely. Once you have faced your phobia. You are then taken back to the phobia again. © Copyright 2003. it seems as if maybe we are just too afraid to use this tool. If you are suffering from a phobia. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. it can make your life almost unbearable. This is a technique that every hypnotherapist should be familiar with so you should have no problem finding someone to help you. your therapist will talk you through facing your fear or phobia. Perception is a powerful thing. It may seem like a gift in the beginning. But the results tend to be permanent. you are ordered to let it go and release the image. Sometimes this type of session needs to be done a second time for reinforcement. It can be done in person and over the phone. though. After you are put into a hypnotic 82 . there will be no emotional response. but it is not a gift at all. Relief is truly immediate. this power. Sometimes. This is a condition that hypnosis can easily resolve. There are a variety of techniques that can be used. This is not done in deep hypnosis and your therapist keeps you closely connected by asking you questions. I have had tremendous success with Circle Therapy in phone sessions with my clients. to take control and change the direction of our life by changing how we perceive the events in our life. The placement of blame is a little bit like a Trojan Horse. take responsibility for not only your actions but your thoughts. Depending on the phobia. By the time your therapist is done. the feelings of panic and anxiety lessen. the power to shape and guide our present as well as our future.This power and ability to control our perception may very well be the most powerful tool that each of us has at our disposal. You understand the fear that clutches at your heart and can freeze you in your steps. don’t hesitate to seek help with a hypnotherapist. getting your responses and monitoring how you feel each step of the way. Basically. you know how debilitating it can be to your life. PHOBIAS If you have ever had a phobia. but perhaps the most effect is something called Circle Therapy. this is how it works.

But this process can be made much easier with the proper goals. abundance and success so I don’t think you need to read anything more from me on this particular subject. happiness. fun. fulfillment and yes. Please read Rituals for Success and Mind Success. You may have needed to carry around that fear for a while. joyful and full life filled with love. The time for new beginnings can start right this moment and that makes it the perfect time to decide that prosperity and abundance should be at the core of your life. © Copyright 2003. it may be necessary to make some changes.” Eric Butterworth Any time is a great time to re-evaluate how you are living. Marti. Poverty is a way of living and thinking. maybe it’s time to get rid of it and start living a life filled with prosperity. and not just money or things. you will enjoy them immensely. Frequently they are a result of fear. But maybe now that baggage has gotten too heavy to carry around with you any longer.PROSPERITY Prosperity As A Way Of Life “Prosperity is a way of living and thinking. Perhaps that was okay for you in the past. and not just a lack of money or things. prosperity includes a rich. thinking and dreaming. Mollie W. One of the most pivotal steps in improving your life from the inside out is the ability to open your channels of desire and to clearly define what it is that you most want. Use the Smart Goals exercise to help you. both written by 83 . Do you really believe that you can have a prosperous and abundant life or have you put a lid on your dreams. blocked your hopes and allowed yourself to become resigned to settling for less. fear of failure. Fear of change. however. Prosperity and abundance aren’t just about money and possessions. For many people this is an uncomfortable process. You will also find several guest articles dealing with prosperity. even fear of success. Sometimes we need to look at the limiting themes and behavior patterns that have repeated themselves in our life. money as well. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. In order to accomplish this.

it is that the world we experience is a real and tangible world. smell. has now become a web of intelligence and internal observation. and matter are secondary and are only aspects of the image of reality manifesting in our own mind. Grand Unified Theory. But when we wake up we realize that everything in the dream was actually a creation of our own mind. Quantum theory tells us that this same process of reality-generation occurs when we are awake. touch. Science now propounds the theory that the simple act of observing something changes the result of any experiment. because what was a mechanical. Quantum theory has changed how we view the world. In the dream it all seems very real. Our perception and our reality from a quantum perspective states that all we see. independent and apart from us. If there is anything about which we have always felt sure. external universe. This basic fact is hard to grasp because it goes against all our prior experience and teachings. However real and external these images may seem. standing as a physical world. I realized there is simply no way to discuss Quantum Optics. space. © Copyright 2003. String Theory. not the other way around. however. Quantum Electrodynamics (QED). They exist within consciousness. around us. Quantum Gravity. and tangible. Theory of Everything. Schroedinger’s Cat. This quantum perspective goes on to state that the world of our experience is no more “out there” than are our own dreams. It appears undeniably to be out there. they are all phenomena within the mind. solid. utterly real. EPR Paradox. Unified Field Theory. and hear it.Q QUANTUM MANIFESTING Quantum Manifesting In a Nutshell I was going to write a section on Quantum Physics and Manifesting. Loop Quantum Gravity. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Superstring Theory. the Many Worlds Hypothesis and so much more that it makes my head spin. in addition. hear. and in this dream we perceive other people as individuals separate from 84 . in about three or four paragraphs! So. touch it. When we dream we create a reality in which events happen around us. Time. and feel has been created from data received through our sensory organs. Supersymmetry. M-Theory. the Copenhagen Interpretation. taste. the observer and the observed are not separate but connected. All we ever know of the world around us are the mental images that our mind constructs from that data. separate from us. instead. as I started to research this a bit. you are getting a little something called Quantum Manifesting in a Nutshell. We can see it.

Hypnosis! © Copyright 2003. Cool.So. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. what is the secret of Quantum Manifestation? The answer in a nutshell. your focus on what you want is the source of the creative process for turning your thoughts and desires into your 85 . huh? So. it seems to me if you really want to manifest a desired reality. Your intention creates a constant energy flowing toward the reality that you want to create. Your body will follow your mind’s commands and travel along the directed pathway until that desired reality is created. the best way to do that is to talk directly to your subconscious. and there’s only one real way to do that. if this is the case and all quantum theories ultimately end up at proposition.

Currently the average length of a marriage is between 3-5 years. First. cries or screams when upset. possibly even throws things when angry. RELEASING. and it is the emotional who very quietly sits there and perhaps even insists that nothing is 86 . it is the emotional who tends to keep emotions inside and the physical who tends to act out their emotions. Unfortunately. You are probably asking yourself right now just what is E&P Attraction. The divorce rate is steadily climbing and there has been no indication of that situation changing anytime soon. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS RELATIONSHIPS Relationship Strategies E&P (Emotional and Physical) Attraction Are you in a happy. and it is the physical/emotional who seems to just jump right in. how they can come apart. I am referring to a person’s sexuality and when I refer to sexuality. you are one of a very small minority and probably do not need to read this. In addition. “emotionals” and “physicals” really are misnamed. It would be far more accurate to say intellectuals and emotionals because it is the emotional/intellectual who tends to analyze situations and possible relationships from all possible angles before becoming involved. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. when I refer to E&P attraction or emotional and physical attraction. However. It is the physical who yells. These two distinct types. The E&P attraction principal provides us with a simple explanation of how relationships are formed. congratulations. The average length of a live-in relationship is 1-3 years and the average length of a dating relationship is 6-8 weeks. © Copyright 2003. fulfilled relationship? The kind of a relationship that makes you feel complete? If you are. the rest of the world seems to be slowly catching up. E&P actually stands for Emotional and Physical and the theory of emotional and physical attraction and sexuality can be the beginning of a whole new road to self-realization and discovery for you. read on. I am talking about just how we each relate to others. our behavior patterns. if you are not.R RELATIONSHIPS. why we behave as we do and why we select the partners we do. It is no secret that the state of relationships in the United States today is disastrous. The subject is relationship strategies or E&P attraction.

She starts to doubt the relationship which then causes her to act a bit needy and perhaps get more demanding. the number one priority is the relationship they are currently 87 . Let’s take an example of a physical female and an emotional male. his career. Their first priority is their career. many emotionals have run away from relationship counseling and refuse to go back. he feels he has accomplished what he set out to do and now it is time to get on with his real priority. After all. what the priorities of each are. For the physical. longer hours at the office. The physical feels acceptance when they are close to others and this is why their number one priority is their relationship. I really do mean attraction. self-confident and sure of herself because her emotional counterpart during this stage is focusing on the relationship probably because at this stage he is viewing it as an accomplishment. on the other hand. So he starts spending more time at work. then their friends and hobbies and finally career. When I say E&P attraction. secure and © Copyright 2003. He is at this point confident that the relationship is working. When his partner complains that they never see each other. normal and is that little something extra that causes the sparks to fly when you meet someone. Next would be their children. opposites really do attract and most people don’t realize just how true this is. then hobbies. It’s rather like radar and allows us to find each other. The problems arise a little later because of the innate differences in the way the two relate to each other. This is natural. In relationships. the relationship is of primary importance to her. As a hypnotherapist I take into account both the physical and emotional behavior patterns and how they relate to each other. When they first meet. next would be their relationship and family and finally would be friendships. This tends to be the physical behavior pattern (especially for men) and as a result of this somewhat limited counseling technique. With the physical female. And boy do they do relate. She on the other hand. as a result of him spending more and more time at work is beginning to feel a bit insecure. And that’s a good thing. To her partner it is his career. This appearance of neediness does not accomplish what she is hoping for. but it does make him start to think that maybe he was mistaken about her being a confident. they are in what is called the honeymoon stage. he cannot understand why.Traditional relationship counselors consider only one behavior as an appropriate behavior for all of us. acting much more physical than is his normal state and so she feels sure of herself and the relationship. Let’s cover very briefly. they see each other every night what more could she want and why. But let’s look into the future several months. She is happy. outgoing. The emotional feels acceptance through their accomplishments or achievements. is quite a bit different. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. The emotional.

understand what is important and enjoy the differences between you that make you so special together. By learning more about E&P attraction and sexuality we can modify attitudes and behaviors ultimately leading to greater enjoyment and longevity in our intimate relationships. Sometimes. it could be as a result of several traumatic events occuring in a short period of time. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. to let go of decisions that have created limiting beliefs in your life. there are issues involved that require more intensive releasing techniques. What can be done about this. With communication you can understand each 88 . releasing occurs naturally. fear and guilt. RELEASING Releasing allows you to remove emotional blocks from the past that may be holding you back. Plenty. to free your energy for a worthwhile purpose. the reasons do not even need to be discussed in order for these two techniques to be effective. Knowledge is power and this vicious cyclee can be broken so that both parties can regain that spark that little sparkle that made the relationship so special to begin with. This could be as a result of childhood abuse issues. I recommend to my clients one of the two following techniques when it becomes obvious that they have some serious. long standing issues from their past and other forms of therapy or releasing have not been enough. it could stem from post traumatic stress syndrome or any number of other reasons. to focus on what you want and what’s important to you so that you can then create the future that you dream of. But her pursuit appears to be emotional and needy and so he pulls away even more and they start on a vicious cycle that. This is done through imagery and suggestion. Releasing helps you to let go of attachments that no longer serve you. communication is key to any successful relationship. It occurs after the subconscious has processed information and can occur while we sleep or are awake. When you understand how the other thinks. Interestingly enough. to get clear on your goals for the future. Remember. without some help or understanding can continue to deteriorate until the relationship dies a slow and sometimes painful demise. When we are healthy and balanced. though. sadness. you can make intelligent decisions and act accordingly. Sometimes we get a bit overloaded with message units and then it may be necessary to “instruct” the subconscious to release. © Copyright 2003. The process is quick.independent woman so he pulls back even more which then causes her to pursue more because the physical needs to understand why the relationship has changed and what is going on. pleasant and you feel great afterwards. Release anger.

it just becomes too difficult when there is so much going on around you. These are three of the biggest factors that erode or detract from your performance. doubts.D. Forgiveness is not necessary when working with Time-Line Imagery which focuses instead on discovering the initial trigger point for each of four destructive emotions. That may been all you need at this time. Success rituals can help reduce the noise and keep you focused on the task at hand. hurt. both techniques make you feel about 10 pounds lighter and both techniques open up space for new. and emotional states. Or perhaps the distracting noise is coming from within your own head. process and recall information. Both techniques are effective. anxiety and self-questioning can quickly create a lot of static. unpredictability and lack of control. They are designed to reduce unfamiliarity. They also decrease your ability to focus on what’s important at the time. Using success rituals regulates your behavior and engages your optimal 89 . If your subconscious is ready. Time-Line Therapy (discussed in detail later in Chapter T) is another technique for releasing and burning away negative emotions. RITUALS FOR SUCCESS Success Rituals: When “Same Old Same Old” Is a Good Thing By Mollie Marti. Success rituals are recognized and disciplined patterns of behavior that engage your mind. use your downloadable sessions first. Negative expectations. physical. it will respond to the imagery and suggestions included within your sessions and start the releasing process right away. Ph. It’s not that you don’t want to give your full attention to the task in front of you. fear and guilt and then burning them away from that initial trigger point all the way to the present. If you feel that you may need some releasing work. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. ideas and emotions allowing you to move forward and make changes in your life.The Lindwall Freedom Through Releasing Therapy was discussed earlier and is one effective technique for releasing and forgiving. positive thoughts. body and emotions. Both of these techniques are also rather time consuming and can take anywhere from two to four hours or even longer to work through. fears. This is essential when you are in a long meeting or are performing © Copyright 2003. These factors can quickly decrease your mind’s ability to take in. They help ensure that you that you recoup energy during your day. The underlying thought being that if you cannot forgive yourself and well as those who have wronged you. anger. you cannot release the negative emotions and move forward.

These types of performance routines consist of ten components. over the telephone. As you add them to your day. physical and emotional energy on a variety of tasks. You can do this by incorporating rest cycles into your day. allowing you to relax and sleep more soundly. Many rituals are quite simple. Setting a positive expectation at the beginning of a task provides a mental framework for your performance. Are you sold yet on the importance of success rituals? The best performers in the world use them. from the minute you wake up in the morning until your head hits the pillow at night. As you spend energy during the day. five of which are briefly introduced in this short chapter. build in ways to recoup your energy. you will quickly notice an improvement in how you feel and how much you can accomplish. Rest is any activity. “It’s too early” or “I so don’t want to go to work today. “It’s gray and cloudy.” Or perhaps you wait to look out the window and let the weather determine your mood. You wake up and your first thought might be. Rest Cycle: Think about the amount of energy you pour out within a single day. If you are interested in a more comprehensive discussion of all of the components and how to use them to become more successful. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Rather. in and of © Copyright 2003. So many times we forget that we have the freedom to choose to perform at the best level available to us in each moment. preparing you to be present and sound positive when you answer it. You spend mental. see chapters 11-12 of Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. each and every 90 . reading a book. Or writing three things you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. You give energy away to other people. make a choice to expect positive results.several tasks at a continuous high level over a long period of time. You rest before hand and when it’s time to engage and get something done.” Write this expectation out and keep it in from of you. taking in a deep breathe.” Don’t give away your power to other people or things. “I expect to perform” or “I expect to do my best. and in countless other interactions. Here are five ritualistic components that you can begin using today for greater success: Expectancy to Perform: As you begin preparing for your day or a specific task. to your computer. consciously make a choice to expect good things to happen. For example. exhaling and smiling every time the phone rings. you are ready for it. boring day. Think and say. It’s going to be a gloomy. Other areas of performance are more demanding and require more complex success rituals.

Your performance level will have dropped so far by the weekend that you’re then just trying to regain lost ground. and anxiety. Influence Management: Before any performance. it gives you an amazing competitive edge. The ideal is for you to build in rest cycles that are appropriate to the stress you have experienced. It involves identifying a specific negative emotion. nervousness. after working at your computer for an hour. Do what you need to do to refuel and recharge as you go throughout your day. If your morning is unusually hectic with unexpected or demanding telephone calls. linking it with a unique physical action. fatigue. frustration. it still will be there after you’ve discharged the negative emotion and cleared your head. and discarding the emotion. While the person next to you is not fully present because he’s still fuming over a conflict he had with someone else that morning. You are carrying emotions from an unresolved issue that continues to eat away at you. Pitching tells your mind that you are taking control and allows you to immediately get back to the present moment. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. For example. anger. It does not work to bust it all week long and try to rejuvenate over the weekend. it might be sufficient to stand up and stretch for a couple of minutes before switching to your next activity. you might need to get a drink of water or a small snack to refuel or go for a brief walk. rhythmic breathing. This allows you to focus intently on the task at hand. You’ve © Copyright 2003. you need to clear your mind so you can focus on the task at hand. One key influence management tool I provide in my Selling book is called “pitching”. How many times have you been trying to focus on an important task while your mind drifts away to something else? Often times it is an emotionally charged issue that pulls your mind away. These negative emotions take precious energy away from the situation in front of you. This quickly results in undermining your performance and reducing the contribution you make to others. You are unique and what is restful to another person might not be to you. you might close your eyes for a few minutes and focus on restoring your energy with deep. When you carry negative emotions like fear. Then build brief periods of these energizing activities into each day.itself. you are less able to concentrate on your task. Make a conscious choice to continuously fill up your gas tank so you’ll have energy available to draw from when you need it. guilt. you have taken action to tell your mind that you are taking control. It’s important to remember that if there is a larger unresolved problem. which is pleasurable and restorative. The idea is to grab the emotion and throw it out of your head. After a 90-minute presentation. Make a list of favorite activities that refuel and energize you. When you learn to discharge negative emotion on demand. Pitching allows you to discharge negative emotions on 91 .

body and emotions to perform and to mentally rehearse your strategies. I “turn on” my full engagement. but when it came time to start. The idea is to link a thought (NOW!”) with an emotion (“I’m ready!) and an action (GO!) to tell your mind. Put something in your performance arena that you physically cross before you perform. as I walk in the door or up to the podium. . the sooner you will free up energy to give to other important tasks. consciously look at your focal point. you will want to make your cue portable so you can take it with you. Refocused!” Engagement Cue: It’s important for peak performance to fully prime your mind. It immediately precedes the performance and says. When she found herself drifting away from her strategy and went looking for her focal point .net 92 . One athlete I worked with had forgotten this requirement after first learning this tool. prior to a presentation or meeting. back to my task. I image a red line on the floor. it also had drifted off. or a clock on the wall. select an easily viewed item to serve as a focal point. A focal point is a designated item in your environment that you use to bring you back to the task at hand. As you travel or perform in different locations. An engagement cue typically is the last component of a success routine. You also need to tell your body it’s time to go. As I cross the line. For example. body and emotions that it is time to perform. © Copyright 2003. If you travel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Your focal point should be stationary so it’s available any time you need it. This leads to a less than stellar performance. Focal Point: You could quickly complete a list of possible distractions in your work and personal environments.simply applied a band-aid. can be viewed as a distraction. . If you are in your office or in a conference room. Any time you get distracted. you might choose a banner. “Go!” I have seen elite performers do everything right in preparing for a performance. These aspects are covered in Chapter 12 of Selling. Train your mind to equate looking at that object with thinking. She chose a cloud as her focal point. “OK. The sooner you take care of this larger energy-draining issue. What are those things that surround you and tend to pull you away from your task? Anything that pulls you away from what you’re doing at the moment. Yet. Before you perform. it’s not sufficient to just prime yourself for your best performance. try to use the same type of focal point. works well. even if it is a good thing. A tangible engagement cue. such as a doorframe. they forgot to tell themselves to turn it on. a piece of art. These distractions can come from any direction at any time.

it won’t feel right. Take some time to identify these elements and use the information here to revise and strengthen your success rituals. NewBeginnings for more information on how Mollie shares tools and lessons from her rich and varied experience as a psychologist. Ph. and success. More subtle examples include skipping breakfast and overusing the internet. Inc. Practice your success rituals until they become second nature. is President of Best Life Design. to compensate for a lack of high quality sleep.molliemarti. Replacing maladaptive routines with ones that appropriately prepare your mind.. mediator. even if you don’t call it a success ritual or routine. ask those closest to you what you consistently do every morning upon arriving at work or every time you prepare for an appointment. body and emotions for performing at a high level can provide a quantum leap forward in your performance. A close companion is the use of stimulants. It will throw you off. a life and business coaching organization that empowers people to design and live bigger.D. When you harness the power of success rituals and performance routines. and working mother to help others design and live their best life. J. She is an Adjunct Professor at the University of Iowa Department of Psychology and is widely published in academic journals of psychology and human behavior. Conclusion The reality is that you already incorporate routines or some sort of ritualistic behavior in your work (and personal) life. If you cannot identify your rituals. including caffeine and adrenaline. better. happier. This means that if you get away from your rituals. As part of this process. performance coach. © Copyright 2003.bestlifedesign.D. Scour your daily activities for any routine actions that undermine your performance. you will be able to choose to perform at the highest level available to you at any time.. successful entrepreneur. lawyer. and food as relaxation or coping techniques. become aware of any bad habits or maladaptive routines you have established along the 93 . and healthier lives. She also is co-author of The 12 Factors of Business Success and Selling: Powerful New Strategies for Sales Success. alcohol. Common ones are the misuse of drugs. Visit her at www. Mollie or www. The good news is this means that when you regularly use success rituals.Train your mind to equate your engagement cue with flipping the ON switch and you will experience a whole new level of focus. concentration. they will provide great consistency.

Frequently due to circumstances that we cannot readily change or control, we are forced into situations that simply are not healthy. They are detrimental to our selfesteem, self-confidence, even our physical health and well being. Ultimately these situation can erode your feelings of self worth and confidence. Using hypnosis for building self confidence is a clever, pleasant and effective way to quickly restore confidence. We can all benefit from increased self confidence in certain situations, and it is possible to harness the power of natural mental states to boost confidence when we need it. Using your imagination and your subconscious for building or rebuilding self confidence works because it creates a powerful, detailed imprint of what it’s like to be confident; an imprint that you can access over and over to reinforce this image into your subconscious. There are few traits more important than self confidence. When you value yourself, you treat yourself well, and others will follow suit. It can make your whole life better. You can improve your self confidence by using visualization and guided imagery. Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization and creating a detail imprint, you are training your mind, preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have the self confidence you are seeking. Positive thinking, affirmations and suggestions not only help you learn how to improve your self confidence, they can dramatically improve the overall quality of your life. Your mind believes whatever you tell it, so stop talking trash about yourself, stop thinking negatively about yourself.

It occurred to me the other day after overhearing a conversation, that I should write down some of the thoughts, suggestions and techniques I use with my clients as part of our therapy sessions when they have decided that it is time to change something in their life. Such as when they have decided that they want to take back control of their life and their actions by taking control of their thoughts and in that way actively creating their own life rather than passively watching it pass them by. These thoughts, suggestions and techniques are something that every one of us can use and benefit from.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Life often requires us to do many things that we really don’t want to be doing. As a result of this we can get so used to the feelings of frustration, irritation, loss of control and dissatisfaction, that it frequently starts to become the norm. We start to believe that maybe we will never get the chance to indulge ourselves in doing those things that we really want and to do. We can get so wrapped up in the mechanics of survival that we fail to recognize or respond to the opportunities for fun, love, success and abundance presented to us each and every day. Your life does not have to be determined by the whims, addictions and negative behavior patterns of those around you or even from your own past. You have the power to take control. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the ability to reclaim and empower yourself! A big part of that power is your own self-talk. We all know that little voice inside that tells us we can’t do something or it’s too late or it’s too hard. That voice that makes us afraid we’ll fail. Always remember this, it is our desires that keep us alive and magnetic. It is our desires that make us sparkle from within and attract what we want. People without strong desires slowly whither away, living only shadow lives of who they are supposed to be. It is our very own negative self-talk that destroys our desire by destroying the belief that you can have what you want. The more we allow desire to flow through us, the more vibrant, alive and connected we become and life just keeps getting better and better. Feed that desire with your dreams and your visualizations. Stop that voice in your head that says “I can’t” and change it to “I will!”

Stress, Friend or Foe What is stress? Stress is the wear and tear our bodies experience as we adjust to our continually changing environment; it has definite and specific physical and emotional effects on us that can create both positive and negative feelings. And as many of you experience during the holidays, it can run rampant. But, is stress really the enemy that we’ve been told it is? Or is it possible that stress could be a friend? As a positive influence, stress can help compel us into action; it can result in a new awareness and an exciting new perspective on our situation, an existing relationship or even a new life.

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Yes, it is true that as a negative influence it can result in feelings of distrust, rejections, anger and depression which in turn can lead to health problems. With the death of a loved one, birth of a child, change in job, change in residence, end of a relationship, divorce, or even the start of a new relationship, we experience stress as we readjust our lives to the changing circumstances. In adjusting to these changing circumstances, stress can either help or hinder us depending on how we react to it, what we think about it and how we choose to use it. Positive stress can add anticipation and excitement to life. Deadlines and competitions add depth and enrichment to our lives. Positive stress motivates us and can be the driving force behind positive changes. The goal is not to eliminate stress, but to learn how to perceive it, manage it, control it and use it to help ourselves. Remember, how we each perceive any event determines how we react to it physically and emotionally. It also determines whether we perceive that event as a good thing or as something to be dreaded and feared. Keep your focus on what you want and on how you want to feel, and use the stress in your life to move towards those positive images rather than focusing on all the obstacles you “might” encounter. So, again, is stress a friend or a foe? When you take control and use stress rather than allowing it to use and control you, it can definitely be a friend! However, for those times when stress has become a liability by becoming so pervasive in your life that the quality of your life is negatively affected, it can be necessary to de-stress yourself and your life a bit. De-Stress Your Life There are numerous studies that show the one thing we all have in common these days is stress. Stress is such a prevalent problem that more than 800,000 people a day miss work because of a stress related illness! When stress has become a problem in our lives, we may experience a variety of symptoms including headaches or migraines, anxiety attacks, pounding heart, sadness and depression, back or neck tension, stomach problems, irritability, moodiness, overeating, fatigue, frequent colds, and more. Do you find yourself always busy, always on the run, always feeling stressed out? What causes stress in your life? If I were to tell you that negative emotions and bad food choices were part of the problem, would you believe me? It’s the truth that sometimes the food we eat can be part of the cause of our stress. Besides, when you have no time and are running everywhere eating healthy seems

© Copyright 2003, NewBeginnings


Calcium. Who has time to cook when the drive through is so much faster. prunes. moodiness and nervousness. when we are under stress we actually need even better quality meals to help us stay focused and in balance. asparagus. Vitamin B6. cabbage. irritability. kelp. exhaustion. apricots. Caffeine boosts the production of adrenaline (a stress hormone) and alcohol causes an imbalance in our blood sugar level which can lead to insomnia which is another thing that causes stress to both your body and mind. fear. You need eat more avocados. Vitamin B12 deficiency can contribute to many anxiety based disorders caused by stress. 97 . Our body needs a proper balance between magnesium and calcium to have a healthy stress response. A deficiency of magnesium interferes with the transmission of nerve and muscle impulses. depression. Trans fatty acids reduce circulation and raise blood pressure which keeps our body in a constant state of stress. oats. mustard greens. garlic. The first step to de-stressing is to break this cycle. Almonds. Vitamin B12. irritability. leafy vegetables. Studies have shown that people who are depressed have low levels of B6 and serotonin. Instead we tend to switch to processed foods which causes our bodies to get even more stressed and we start on a vicious circle. sesame seeds. impatience. depression. broccoli. Eating foods rich in anti-stress vitamins and minerals will help counteract the effects of stress. such as hormonal imbalances. You should incorporate them as much as possible into your diet when you know you are fighting stress. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. Unfortunately. Eat more seafood or seaweed (how about some sushi?) to get more Vitamin B12. brown rice. If you understand that there are foods which aggravate negative emotions such as anger. spinach and salmon all contain Magnesium. Some of these nutrients are: Magnesium. tofu and yogurt or yogurt products. apples. seafood. worry. Avoid foods with trans fatty acids which you find in junk food and refined carbohydrates. Calcium rich foods are almonds. It has been found that people under stress have low magnesium levels. salmon. spinach and walnuts to get more Vitamin B6. causing irritability and nervousness. Avoid refined sugars which raise our insulin levels so quickly that when they drop we feel it emotionally as well as physically. then you can avoid those foods to start your de-stressing procedure. be one of the first things that goes. blood sugar fluctuations. bananas. © Copyright 2003. chronic fatigue. Stay away from caffeine and alcohol.

our cortisol levels drop. Start squeezing something. See Emotions and Illness and Healing and Hypnosis for more information on this. dates. is to reduce cortisol levels and normalize your metabolism. root vegetables (such as potatoes. insomnia or lack of energy. I know mine always have been). In addition. Call a friend. you can lower your stress level in a second with these instant mood lifters: Laugh. our family? So let us be stress smart.Folic acid. green leafy vegetables. barley. you must relax. NewBeginnings who works with women who have stress or weight management issues and are experiencing increased appetite. or to sign up for her free Newsletter with Healthy Tips and Recipes or check on her eBooks “DeStress-101” and “Detox-101” visit her website: http://www. legumes. Sing. Walk. lentils. Studies have shown that even forced laughter lowers cortisol and blood pressure instantly. such as a squishy ball. mood 98 . For more information about her Women’s Health and Wellness Programs and Retreats. nobody will. We all know now that extreme stress can release cortisol which is a factor in many diseases and illnesses. oranges.naturalcounselor. Foods rich in folate are asparagus. Recent studies show that singing your favorite tunes is more beneficial than simply listening to them. oatmeal. Studies have shown that folic acid helps make dopamine. salmon. Studies show that having a conversation with someone you care about causes the same kind of positive physiological changes that a massage does. to work away your tension. a founder of NaturalCounselor. but if something happens to us. A study just conducted has shown that immediately after a © Copyright 2003. As Irina Wardas says: “I always tell my clients: if we don’t take care of ourselves. who will take care of our children. brown rice. This isn’t a power walk so stop and enjoy the nature. Hypnosis is the best way to achieve deep relaxation. carrots and turnips).” Much of the information used in this article is from Irina Wardas. Squeeze a squishy ball. mushrooms. Bottom line though. Kiss. tuna and whole grains. though. Some fresh air and moderate exercise can help clear your mind and reduce frustration. To express your feelings and thoughts you can either call a friend or talk to your pet (pets are even better listeners. the real key to experiencing feelings of pleasure.

” If you find the same situations appearing over and over again. you’ll have that same illness or perhaps something even worse tomorrow and next week. then you can begin to realize how this feeling of being stuck is just that.STUCK (OR NOT) Have you ever felt stuck? You know. It isn’t a physical reality (although it sure can feel like one). you’ll be setting the stage for a similar confrontation every year you are together. If you expect your spouse or lover to forget your anniversary or birthday. because you cannot stand 99 . You cannot stop emitting a © Copyright 2003. Every morning you wake up and declare that you are “stuck” in debt. As much as you may want to blame your childhood or your “ex”. If you understand that. You try to think about a solution to change the situation but all you can think about is your fear and your need and you tighten up even more. It is also true that energy attracts like energy (sort of like a magnet) and that your outer world really is a direct reflection of what is going on inside you and inside your head. For example. If you wake up today focusing on debt. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I know I have. It is important to keep in mind that this reflection you see is never really acting in response to energy from your past. Energy is constantly in motion. then you are doing nothing more than bringing the same vibrational energy to every new situation. If you wake up today affirming an illness. Just remember this “Nothing is Ever Really Stuck. but to the energy of the present moment. the same repeating external circumstances that merely mirror your old set of expectations. a feeling. Now I am happy to say that feeling doesn’t come anymore and I want to share this information with you. it is more likely that every morning you wake up and you focus on the feeling of being in debt than it is that you wake up focusing on how much you have. the truth is that what you are thinking this very moment determines the energy that you attract into your life right now and this then becomes the life you are living. I used to feel that way often. According to the laws of physics. As Abraham Hicks explains: “Sometimes we hear you say ‘I’m stuck’ and we say ‘No you’re not stuck. you’ll attract more debt for tomorrow. that nasty feeling that there’s nothing you can do about the situation you find yourself in. Then one day I decided to go back to school and become a hypnotherapist. You think about your lack of money and you think about your need and you begin to tighten up. You think about the future and you tighten up even more. there is no such thing as being ‘stuck’. if you are having a problem with money.

The group’s judgment: Patients who had received hypnosis were farther along the road to recovery. In a pilot study published in 1999. Ginandes and her research team found that women who’d had breast reduction surgery recovered more quickly after undergoing hypnosis. the women were encouraged to think of pain as “sensations of healing” and to visualize their incisions “knitting together rapidly and becoming strong. You don’t have to create change. Patients who suffer from panic attacks. the truth is. The sessions you received with this book will help you begin this process of getting un-stuck quickly and easily. “We’re not just talking about people simply feeling better. says University of Washington psychologist David Patterson. for most people. You need to make room for change.vibration so it is not possible you are stuck. By using hypnosis and working from the inside out. It is only important that it does. Allow for the possibility that you may be partly responsible for this feeling you have. can influence the body to heal itself. In a follow-up experiment published last year.D. During the sessions. really. © Copyright 2003. 100 . And. and elastic. it doesn’t matter why it works. Instead what is happening is that you are creating the same thing over and over again. Take this list and think about those areas where you may have been holding these situations in place and then allow for the possibility that you do have the power to change your thoughts thereby changing what surrounds you and your environment.” So. for example. you simply need to make room for the possibility of something different. releasing what you no longer need and replacing it with possibilities. Ph. our results suggest.” Ginandes says. but it can make you more receptive to suggestions. can be encouraged to think of frightening situations in new and less alarming ways.. how can you feel unstuck? It’s very simple. “We’re talking about structural tissue healing. smooth.” Hypnosis can’t make you do things they you want to do. Pain sufferers. showed that hypnosis can help broken bones heal faster. Harvard University psychologist Carol Ginandes. that you may have created it and allow for the possibility that if you created it then you can un-create it and create something far better. meanwhile.D. A good place to begin is by making a list of the areas in your life that feel stuck. can move their perception of pain from the foreground of their minds to the background. speak directly to your conscious and subconscious mind. This process of transformation and healing can take place almost immediately. Hypnosis. The most astonishing evidence of just what the mind can do comes from research on healing. Allow the Universe to bring you a slightly different experience tomorrow and the next day. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. It’s changing but it’s changing to the same thing.” An independent team of surgeons and nurses later examined the women and reviewed photographs of the incisions that were taken 1 week and 7 weeks after surgery.

just to recognize it so that you can more easily burn it away from your Time Line. Then you ask yourself which direction is your future. to the left or to the right. the more you train your mind into accepting and creating it. maybe look for some signs that give you an indication of timeframe or create your own. the stronger they become and the more developed the neuro pathways get. This is where Time Line Imagery can help you. Take responsibility for your life and direction. you imagine that you are rising above the ground and ask yourself which direction is in your past. Take your time with this. When you have determined the directions of past and future. imagine it is like a road and notice if it is straight or curved or if there is anything unusual about it. © Copyright 2003. Remember. Just imagine that you are rising above your Time Line and then imagine that you are moving forward in the future and placing your snapshot onto the road. Time Line Imagery is also a way for the conscious mind to communicate with the subconscious mind bringing up images or thoughts that may have been repressed. for you happiness and your abundance. it is what feels best for you. your love and your 101 . If it’s behind you. So whenever you find yourself slipping into old habits and old thoughts that don’t do you any good use your Time Line to place your Snapshot into your future.T TIMELINE THERAPY TIME LINE THERAPY IMAGERY Time Line Imagery is a visualization exercise that is effective when looking for trigger points from your past and setting a goal of desire into your future. This is a long and can be a complicated procedure and is best done with a hypnotherapist or guide who is familiar with the technique. The positive work that you can do with the image of your Time Line and placing a snapshot into your future is something you can and should do often. You can take something like your Snapshot image and literally place it onto your Time Line in the future. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. You can also use this therapy to remove negative emotions from your past by determining the first triggering event for each. But you can develop new and different neuro pathways by thinking new and different thoughts. look down on the Time Line. Just remember that when working with the past it isn’t necessary to re-experience the emotion when you have found your first triggering event. the more you focus on old negative thoughts. There is no correct answers. To start the process of determining your own personal Time Line. Remember. the more you visualize or imagine what you want.

Sometimes what you need. Things that can look to others as if you are to blame. to keep it together and keep going because they need you in their life. I looked at all sides and all options and the decision that I made was a considered decision that was the best choice at that time under those circumstances. They can’t experience the triggers that you might from your past and they can have no idea that you are doing you best at that moment. I’d like you to consider another alternative. You procrastinated. The act of giving love unconditionally gives you clarity and freedom and it let’s you find your way back from the dark places into the light. all you need is to have the people you love just be there for you. I’ve been through some really difficult times in this life. you stuck by the wrong person. It’s amazing what we can do and get through when we know we are loved and needed. I can say that each time I h ad to make a decision. It might not have looked that way to others. This is what I learned and this is the gift I give to those I love.U UNCONDITIONAL LOVE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE Sometimes no matter how hard you try to keep your thoughts positive and practice being grateful. What you need is just someone to say I’m sorry this happened and I’m here for you. You don’t need their advice and you do not need them to point out the mistakes you’ve made (you probably already know them intimately yourself). NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Without getting specific about each of them. but no one else can know all that we each have to consider and deal with. They can’t possibly know how you may have been emotionally ripped apart by a person or an event or a situation and how those scars can linger. Perhaps you didn’t do what you should have when you should have. you made a mistake. You need them to tell you to be strong. It can look that way to 102 . even if they cannot give it back. © Copyright 2003. bad things just happen.

another may practice Hinduism. For example. Picture yourself at age 80. Using the Value Areas of Life is a good place to start. one person may go to church every Sunday and pray even night and that would be their form of Spirituality. you need to define what it is you want. but I think this works better: Health/Fitness Fun/Recreation Home/Environment Spirituality Career Family Relationships/Romance Personal Growth/Development Before you can manifest something into your life. Just as there are different families and different types of relationships.V VALUE AREAS OF LIFE. © Copyright 2003. 90. Then visualize or imagine you are nearing the end of your life. You don’t have to agree or understand it to realize that there are different forms of Spirituality. The Value Areas of Life that I created and prefer to work with is a bit more detailed. These are: VALUE AREAS OF LIFE Career Spirituality Health/Fitness Family Relationships Personal Growth & Development These Value Areas are basically the same for all of us although it may not appear that way. 85. while another may be a Wiccan. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. find a quiet place to sit for twenty minutes or so. etc. VISUALIZATION In any manifestation work that you may be considering. the first step is to understand the value areas of your life. Spirituality. Bring a blank piece of paper and pen. whatever feels right. First. Close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing for a few 103 . VICTIMHOOD.

there is nothing wrong with having more than one husband or wife and yet most of us would be outraged if our spouse suggested another mate. Most things or events aren’t intrinsically “right” or “wrong”. I might find perfectly acceptable and vice versa. VICTIMHOOD Why do we choose to beat ourselves up over things that we’ve done. mugged or even raped. © Copyright 2003. If it is what you believe. Then start to write down your thoughts and feelings about each of these areas. but not only that. What value areas of your life are you happy with. Remember. We grab it and cling to it like a life raft. What areas do you feel fulfilled in. Let’s say something unpleasant happens to you. but so often the victim feels that it was their own fault. In a culture that believes in and it is legal to practice polygamy. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Does that make one of you right and one of you wrong? It depends on your perception! One thing it does do is demonstrate the importance of communication. Our perception of what a relationship should be makes this wrong. then your perception makes it right. you will certainly feel violated. What areas cause you regret. Figure it out early. many times it only takes a small shift to change the direction of any area of your life and awareness is the first step from which your bright new future can flow. then you’ve got a 104 .Now think back over your life. is you. Perhaps you are abused. I understand that the above example is a bit extreme and perhaps even offensive. It is so much better to find out in the first few months of a relationship. if the person you are proposing this practice to believes something entirely different. church and society. That somehow they brought this on themselves!!! And why is it that so many of us embrace that thought and that feeling. You might get angry. rather than after several years and one of you ends up feeling like a victim. we assign those words to them based on our own perceptions of them. or even the perceptions of our family. are you really meant to be together. can differences be resolved and can you move forward with each other. to clarify what each of you expects in the relationship or from the other person. But Victimhood isn’t just about relationships. frequently things that are done to us? We seem to have a desire or a need to make ourselves a victim. Is it wrong? Is it right? The only person who can know if it’s right for you. Think about all the value areas of your life. Something very unpleasant. friends. However. but I wanted to use an extreme example in order to show that in any relationship it is crucial to communicate with each other. What you might think is wrong.

But just take a moment now and really think about it. Perhaps the most alluring is that if you are perceived as a victim. however. This can be directly related to the epidemic of addiction that the world seems to be suffering from. it’s because I’m in a bad relationship and it’s not my fault I’m in a bad relationship. my friends don’t understand me. Nothing is your fault because you are a victim. Have you made the decision that you are a victim? Think about that because that decision will affect your entire future. A rather sad. 12step programs rum rampant and they almost seem to have taken the place of social clubs as a means of meeting 105 . I had a horrible childhood and my wife (or husband) cheated on me. is so much sweeter when you take responsibility for your actions. happiness and joy available to each of us. It’s not my fault I can’t keep a job. let’s look at what being a victim really means to the person who has embraced Victimhood. And. When you can acknowledge how strong you really are. It becomes VICTIMHOOD! Believe me. But now. for what you do and what you say. my mother didn’t give me enough love. to take back control of your life and to create the life you want to experience with all the fun. It’s not my fault I use drugs or drink too much.S. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. my mother didn’t understand me. it means you are not responsible for anything. and society actually encourages this thought. isn’t there something wrong with a world that encourages us to think of ourselves as powerless victims? Isn’t it time to stop? I think it’s time to acknowledge your power. my wife doesn’t understand me. my father was never there to teach me or guide me. etc. It wasn’t fun. Here in the U. my husband ignores me. my parents had a horrible marriage so what could you expect. it’s not my fault! It’s not my fault I can’t commit to another person.. It’s not my fault I cheated on my wife. Life. unfulfilled and unhappy way of life. You can find a 12-step program for any addiction you can possibly think of. I do understand how it feels and how it works because I took a little trip to “Victimhoodland” myself for a period of time.I want you to consider something.” But. you do not ever have to take responsibility for anything in your life. my kids don’t show me any respect. you can take back control and rediscover © Copyright 2003. etc. if you do this often enough it becomes a way of life.. Have you fallen prey to Victimhood? Oh. initially you might say NO! I have not decided that. There are certain advantages to choosing Victimhood as a way of life. etc. And what is the underlying message in virtually all 12-step programs? “That you are powerless in the face of your addiction. although I have to admit that it was a bit addictive. A victim can always blame anything on outside circumstances.

build self-confidence. each of us. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.” This same article goes on to suggest various visualizations to help reduce your stress. All too often we let this fear get the better of us. The child who survives abuse is amazingly self-reliant and strong. If that is taken away from us .or if we inadvertently cut ourselves off from it with Victimhood. Fixing a problem in one place though. The woman who has come out of a nasty. feel more loved. As stated in Woman’s World. VISUALIZATION More and more doctors and patients have recognized that mental state and physical well-being are connected. We waste precious days and years getting so caught up in our worry and fear and Victimhood that we hardly think of anything else. thinking of a beloved pet can increase feeling of compassion and security. It means choosing to be constantly dissatisfied with the things around us and with our lives. because your brain reacts to whatever you imagine as if it were reality. etc. boost your mood.who you are. Imagery and visualization have long been used in hypnosis as a means of changing and improving your life using these techniques with hypnosis can increase the benefits and give you a very powerful tool for you to use. please. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. bad relationship and can keep on going.. Conscious awareness of this process is the first step to taking back control and living the life you were meant to live. we can move beyond the Victimhood mentality. it is the ability to enjoy life. The man who came from a loveless home and can continue to search for the right relationship and woman to love is strong and sensitive with a big. An unhealthy body will ultimately lead to an unhealthy mind with such problems as depression and anxiety. eventually. beautiful heart and so much love to give. is powerful beyond belief. thinking of relaxing by the seaside with soft breezes and warm weather can increase your feelings of relaxation and thus reducing stress. just how powerful we are or could be if we are willing to accept that power and that strength and if we can just accept that fact. For example. If we take back control. September 26. can often help the other. we lose everything. and an illness of the mind can trigger or worsen diseases in the body. the clouds will clear and we can see how silly we have been. you cannot have a healthy body or mind without the other also being healthy. Simply. “Visualization is a powerful tool to change your thinking. never © Copyright 2003. etc. And there are hundred and thousands of stories just like those that show us. Remember. You had to be strong. Choosing Victimhood means choosing not to be happy. 2006. We will see that our most valuable possession is not 106 . One of the underlying motivations for Victimhood is fear.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. this would be the time to consult a hypnotherapist or use a CD to achieve your desired results. can change how your feel. you are training your mind and preparing yourself so that you know what it looks like and what it feels like to have what you are seeing with your visualization. Is essence. yes imagery and visualization can change your life. increase your self-confidence. If you are feeling down. © Copyright 2003. your ability to visualize and your subconscious to create the life and the world you want to live 107 . So. what you will be attempting to do is putting yourself into a highly suggestible state when it will be virtually impossible to keep your thoughts positive. your imagination. relieve pain.practice self-hypnosis when you are feeling down. Use the power of your mind. boost your mood and a whole world of good things IF you can keep your own negative self-talk from jumping into the conversation! Studies have shown that by practicing short intervals of visualization. depressed or negative.

We’ve become the generation of pop a pill to fix everything. Then you add to that the natural human tendency (at this in our modern world) to want something instantaneously. Press releases are sent out and scientific findings are published and drug companies start promotional campaigns as soon as they are given the green light. I was reading the other day an analysis of three different diets. How is your water consumption? At meals do you overeat? (Or do you overeat only at one meal?) Do you believe you can lose weight? © Copyright 2003. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. etc. moderation solves most of the problems and confusion regarding food. the creators of which all think theirs is the best for losing weight. scientists. you bet!!! Part of the problem is that we are simply getting too much information on very limited aspects and we are getting it too soon.) 108 . Confusing. WORDS.. something is good for you and then it is bad and then guess what. we just don’t want to take the time to do it and we don’t want to expend the time and energy to balance our food intake with the appropriate amount of exercise. you are serious and willing to take the time to make some life changes. Not only that. refined. The truth is. dietitians and commercials are trying to keep us confused? First. the second one was only three and the third one was actually only one meal a day. 5.W WEIGHT. The problem is that we are beginning to realize that popping a pill doesn’t fix anything and sometimes just makes things worse. Do you eat a lot of sugar? Specifically what kind of sugar? (i. diet and weight. it’s good again. WOUNDS WEIGHT Weight and Confusion Doesn’t it seem as if all the doctors. If. the participants that were interview for each diet also felt that the one they had used for the best. alcohol. First one. bleached flour. 4. included six small meals a day. and in reality most of us really do know what a healthy diet consists of.e. however. Why are you not already thereat the weight you want to be? 2. the only diet that had ever worked for them. you can start with these questions about your eating habits: 1. before facts have actually been verified.

9. Do you associate a person. 20. 8. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. place or activity with overeating or types of food with overeating? 14. 18. you will have a much better understanding of your relationship to food and your current weight and will be able to make intelligent decisions regarding food choices and behavior changes. Is there a time of day that is harder for you to control food? Do you snack between meals? What kinds of snacks? Do you consume alcohol? How much? Do you exercise or what is your activity level? What have you done in the past to lose weight? 11. Out of all the food you eat in a day. what percentage is eaten out of true hunger or is it eaten because of: • • • • • • • • 16. © Copyright 2003. father or siblings had a problem with weight? If they had a problem were they successful in controlling the problem and what did they use or do to control the problem? 12. Do you eat breakfast? 15. 109 . Has your mother. Do you have cravings for salt? 13.6. 10. boredom stress time of day depression reward other people anxiety companionship Do you reach for food for any of the above reasons? Do you relate to any of the above reasons? Do you experience any of the above reasons on a daily basis? Why do you want to lose the weight? How will your life be different when you reach this goal? Once you have answered these questions. 17. 7.

a lack of fulfillment. so can we develop neuro pathways within the mind. You can imagine how difficult living a life like this can be. feelings and emotions to allow ourselves to move forward with any goal including weight changes. You know © Copyright 2003. Sound too easy? The truth is that it is actually easier than you might believe. Abuse 110 . it is frequently easier to deal with physical abuse than it is the words that are said during an emotional attack. We heal from physical injuries. We are able to watch what happens to the brain as we think different thoughts and visualize different images. WORDS Sticks and Stones…… I’m sure you’ve heard that childhood saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. More often than not. You had to be strong. The first step is to acknowledge how strong you really are. but you can take back control and you can reverse much of the damage that was done. Words have so much power that they can destroy reputations and ruin lives. It is along these neuro pathways that all thoughts and emotions travel. For those of you who have lived in an emotionally abusive situation. satisfaction. WRONG! Words have power. Science has given us the capability of being able to look at and in the human brain while it is working and to actually see how it is functioning. causing us to doubt ourselves and our decisions. Science has taught us that just as we can develop any muscle in our body by “using” it. You had to be amazing to live through all that crap that made you feel like a victim in the first place and to keep on going. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. you know that as strange as it may sound. it must also be noted that weight issues are rarely just about weight. survivors. they include abandonment issues. It is almost always linked to how we perceive ourselves and it is this internal raging of feelings and emotions that are responsible for the negative behavior patterns we find within ourselves. confidence and happiness. The second step is to take control of your thoughts.Now. You can decide that you are not going to be a victim. thousands of stories that show us just how powerful we are if we are willing to accept that power and that strength. by working it. but the wounds that are created by hearing hurtful words (especially when those words come from a loved one) stay with us for years eating away and corroding our self-image. Forcing us to second guess every thing we do and say. It becomes necessary to release our negative thoughts. self-confidence. having said all that.

But most of all. But when you are with someone you care about. friend before you utter those hurtful words that can never be taken back. wife. The same holds true for what you hear. think a negative thought constantly and you develop a neuro pathway for that negative thought that becomes larger. If you are with someone who is abusing you in any way. I have to say this. keep your thoughts strong. wider and stronger each and every day. If you are around someone who constantly criticizes you or berates you or even worse. take the time to take back control and think 100 times more about your hopes. what do you have without you? You need to preserve the miracle that is you. scream and yell and swear all you want. But you are wrong. Take the time and allow your desires to flow through you. call out for help. Once said they are out there forever. dreams and desires. eating up those smaller neuro pathways that you have allowed to atrophy and that are unfortunate enough to reside nearby. I know when you are beaten down it is hard to see any options other than the one you find yourself in.] Take the time to remember each and every good thing that has happened to you throughout the day. throughout your life entire life. Also. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. think before you speak because despite that childhood saying……. your talent. Instead they start hurting again given certain triggering events. There are options out there and there are people and organizations that can help you get away. When this occurs. intelligence and compassion. This is why “words” do have so much power. Your life depends on it After all. WOUNDS Deep Emotional Wounds There are those wounds that do not heal with the passage of time. subconsciously we © Copyright 2003. [Please remember hypnosis is probably the best. find out what you can do. Vent when you are alone. someone will answer. most enjoyable and fastest way to do this. And for each of us. lover. it becomes even more important for you to counteract those words with thoughts that you control. leave! Remove yourself from that situation and run as far and fast as you 111 . but not only that. this planet needs you. As a matter of fact. Saying you are sorry doesn’t counteract the damage that was done in an instant of self-gratification. words can hurt you. Make some calls. Think and dream about your future. husband. And that’s what venting to another is. Don’t ever delude yourself that it is anything more than self-gratification. For every negative thought or image that either comes into your mind or is forced into your mind. please take the time to think about what you are saying to your child.because I say it over and over again.

when things are going smoothly. try doing it during a conversation with someone who is close to you. Maybe just knowing that it is normal for these wounds to continue to hurt. If you do not feel ready for that. It helps to realize that you are not the only one who experiences this. we get overly sensitive and we can react in a hurt manner without apparent reason. much like arthritis in wet weather. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. © Copyright 112 . especially in interpersonal situations. can help. Releasing sessions can work well with these.withdraw into ourselves. improve your close relationships and heal your relationship with your own body. If you can do this. Looking at painful experiences in this way can set you free. or. you have the opportunity to bring these painful wounds to light. you can bring these wounds to light under the soothing blanket of hypnosis. However. we ourselves can become hurtful without actually wanting or meaning to.

© Copyright 2003. binger or whatever. healthy. BINGER ETC. You can choose to live your life. What do you see now? What are these images like? Is there good health. the decision becomes easy. What is your breathing like? How is your health? What does your skin look like? Your teeth? What does that life look and feel like? Is there even a life or is what you are doing killing you? Let these images form clearly. doesn’t it?. Notice how you feel. All you need is a clear image of your two futures and then see yourself going down the right road and into the right future. clear skin. It could be that you want to quit smoking or maybe you’ve decided that you need to stop drinking. TWO FUTURES You want to stop doing something. And now let those images fade completely away. Once you decide that you want to quit. Wait 10-20 seconds. you have a decision to make. I want you to take a moment now and visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are still smoking.X X SMOKER. your energy will flow in that direction. DRINKER. very clearly. Before you make that decision. binging or doing whatever it is that you think you need to quit doing. drinking. vibrant. You have the opportunity to see a different future. Notice what you see. Make a commitment and a decision. When you have done this. What do you look like. drinker. Perhaps you have an eating disorder and it is time to stop. what is different and 113 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. vital. the body you want. Make a promise to yourself. Whatever it is. Wait 10-20 seconds. powerfully alive and free from the chains of any addiction. energy. clear and easy breathing. are you now sure which one you want. Visualize or imagine that 10 years have past and you are now an ex-smoker. Take a moment and let these images form clearly. Of these two possible futures in your life. strong.

a better job. it does not mean you will receive it. the first step is to choose at a conscious level what you want and then you can convince your subconscious that it is possible. Daily reminders of the choices you have made will reinforce your internal belief and it will slowly build. but I loved the name so much that I just had to reference it here. So. even if you don’t truly believe it at the 114 . you increase the muscle’s strength and ability. your entire belief system. © Copyright 2003. When you first begin to work your muscles. you may never receive it. YUMMY LIST I did not come up with this wonderful name of the Yummy List. you can only lift a small amount of weight. your life script. YUMMY LIST YOUR LIFE SCRIPT Changing Your Life Script How Do You Change Your Life Script? The first step is to wake up and realize you have choice. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Everything in life is a choice. The challenge is understanding that just because you choose love. Your choice must first tie into the core of your being. Incorporating hypnotherapy as one of the tools available to you for your use in implementing your choices and talking directly to your subconscious can greatly speed up this process of believing in possibilities from the inside out. you must begin by acknowledging the choice you are making. In every phase of your life you need to be aware. you can choose success and desire a high income or a luxurious home. For instance. You need to know that no matter what things might look like or what situation you currently find yourself in. And you need to know that when you make choices that express the real you. you always have a choice. happiness. joy. your life becomes yours and it will feel richer and thicker and fuller. prosperity or anything on a conscious level. but as time goes on and you increase the weight you are lifting. success. Compare it to strength training. but if you do not believe you can get that home or deserve that home with every level of your being. In making a choice. It was created by by Holly Gleason of “The Yummy List” and Huffington Post. and you will begin to see the results of your choices.Y YOUR LIFE

makes me laugh out loud or makes me say Yum! It can be a list or it can be snapshots or a favorite song or food or a movie. And it is a magical time if you want to manifest your yummy list into your 115 . NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. What’s really important is that you make sure you keep in touch with your yummy list. the Yummy List is a user’s guide to slowing down. © Copyright 2003. It can be pictures cut out of a magazine or your own visual imagery. check it out at www. revise it when something new and yummy catches your attention. The Yummy List is a random sampling of how sweet life can be.According to To me. We hypnotherapists refer to the 30 minutes before we go to sleep as the magic 30 minutes. it’s also anything that makes my eyes sparkle.hollygleason. The best time to focus on your yummy list would be just before you go to bed. To find out exactly what The Yummy List is all about. a yummy list is anything and everything that makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. looking around. check it regularly. paying attention and experiencing life right where you are.

And always remember this. please do it with zeal and without apathy. An antonym is apathy. it means a diligent enthusiasm. fight for your dreams and your goals. or ideal and the determination to further that 116 . or ideal. intensity and passion.Z ZEAL Zeal can mean the fervor or tireless devotion for a person. cause. your life will follow your thoughts so fill your thoughts with zeal! © Copyright 2003. Some of the synonyms for zeal are ardor. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. Apathy will get you nowhere except exactly where you have been. cause. Wouldn’t you rather have passion and intensity in your life? Live each moment to the fullest. If you have chosen to change your life or any part of your life.

Sometimes I will make a specific suggestion that I feel works best. Here’s an example of how you can set an Anchor for relaxation once you are already in a relaxed state (such as immediately after listening to a hypnosis CD or other form of relaxation recording): Anytime you’d like to feel this level of peace and relaxation. The first thing you do before tapping is to give yourself three karate chops to one hand and it doesn’t matter which hand. Find the exercise or images or suggestions that “feel” right to you. EMOTIONAL FREEDOM TECHNIQUE The basic EFT technique involves holding a disturbing memory or emotion in mind and simultaneously using the fingers to tap on a series of 12 specific points on the body that correspond to meridians used in Chinese medicine. ANCHOR With any imagery or feeling that you would like to strengthen or be able to reach quickly. This is your anchor for peace and relaxation. you repeat to yourself: EVEN THOUGH I AM [FILL IN THE BLANK] I DEEPLY AND PROFOUNDLY ACCEPT MYSELF. You can also visualize this word in your mind. but ultimately only you will know what works best for you.” and the “sore spot. While you are doing these three karate chops. © Copyright 117 . you can do this simultaneously with a physical Anchor such as rubbing middle finger and thumb together or use a physical object or talisman such as a crystal. say out loud RELAX (then spell it out) R-E-L-A-X and repeat this process three times. By working directly with your subconscious you can make the changes you want literally from the inside out.” “gamut spot.” but for our purposes the karate chop and 12 points will work just fine. To make this even more effective. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. imagery and suggestions are designed to help you internalize the flow of your desire and intensify the positive magnetic force you are looking for. if one includes points nicknamed the “karate-chop point.EXERCISES: The following series of exercises. There are 15 points. it is often helpful to use what we call an “Anchor”.

It doesn’t matter which side of the body or which hand you use. fear. 6. TAPPING: These are the Meridian points for tapping. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. Pick one thing first and go through all 12 Meridian points. 5. This is not a sentence. 10.Then with the last chop change the sentence to: EVEN THOUGH I AM _____________ I LOVE MYSELF. The blank can be anything you want to work on such as TOO HEAVY. Do what feels right for you. 7. but do each issue separately. 8. 4. or DEPRESSED.” “Even though I’m depressed most of the time. 3. 11. Inside of one eyebrow (either side) Outside of same eyebrow Below same eye Between lip and nose Just under the chin Just below the collar bone Side of body (where a bra strap would be) Top of the thumb (where cuticle is) Top of index finger Top of third finger Skip ring finger Top of the 118 . You can go through the tapping process several times. anything: “Even though I’m sometimes depressed. 9. Here’s a sample set-up for depression and remember you can modify this for weight. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. you can use just one or two words.” © Copyright 2003. you tap at least half a dozen times on each point: 1. or AFRAID. If you feel you need to work on more than one issue at the same time you can. 12. During the tapping process you state the problem such as “overweight” or “weight issues” or “anxiety” or “fear” or “addiction” or whatever is bothering you. or anything you want changed. I accept myself deeply and profoundly. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. anxiety. 2.” “Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time.

You can see how your body actually is glowing as your feel your heart fire burning brightly. hurt. anything that burns quickly and as these stick and logs come at your. Perhaps it is now just a small spark. © Copyright 2003. you open all pathways to love. By burning away all anger and negativity. you can take that anger inside and burn it away. Visualize and imagine that you are fanning the flames and burning all anger. And you know that when someone directs anger at you. I love myself. It is also a deepening technique I use in all my sessions. Now visualize or imagine that you are taking every instance of anger directed at you and as it reaches you it turns into sticks and logs. visualize or imagine that you can see the spark at the center of your heart. emotions. your connection with yourself is complete. but you are going to visualize it burning right there in the center of your heart. As you do this. Counting from 5 down to 1 is a natural and easy way to feel yourself relax. It is interesting to feel the shift in energy as soon as you do this exercise even once. imagine that there are glass doors surrounding this fireplace that is your heart and now imagine throwing open the doors and allowing oxygen to flow in and feed your heart fire. Then imagine your heart is like a fireplace. you also release all negative thoughts. HEART FIRE IMAGERY Here’s the visual exercise I promised you demonstrating how to feed the fuel your heart fire needs to burn bright: Lay back. You no longer will try to close off your heart and block the anger. Now when you feel your body has relaxed a bit. uncross your arms and legs. you throw then right into the center of your heart fire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. After using it a few times you will find that just by counting down you will automatically begin the relaxation process. feelings. take a couple of cleansing breathes and allow your eyes to 119 . you can watch it grow so large that you can imagine it actually burning outside your body.“Even though it seems I’m depressed all the time.” And that’s all there is to it. And as you do this you can see this internal fire getting bigger and stronger. And as your heart fire increases. ideas and beliefs within yourself. And as your heart fire increases. resentment or negativity away. but instead you will imagine it burning like huge logs in a fireplace. by releasing all anger and resentment you reclaim and reconnect with the joyful loving part of yourself. slowly count from 5 down to 1 and with each number focus on your breathing allowing yourself and your body to relax.

anyplace. stress or anxiety from the past few minutes. you will count yourself out of this relaxed state of mind. weeks. hear it (i. see the image). cleansing breath in and let it out. 3…… 2…… 1 and zero – deep relaxation. I imagine them coming together and forming the number 5 and then I imagine them drifting apart and coming together again and form the number 4. glowing orange light flowing in and around your body. it can be a room or someplace outdoors. Then when you are 120 . just relax for a few moments and continue to imagine the healing. See it. at the beach. If another color comes to mind. smell the salt. When you reach the © Copyright 2003. letting myself value and experience it fully as I continue to relax and count myself down to even more relaxation with 5…… 4……. days. months or even years to be released. hear the waves and the birds. Get an image of where you will feel at peace and will be comfortable. and I repeat this all the way to the number zero. feel the warmth of the sun on your face and body. Read the follow first so that you are familiar with it and then repeat it to yourself: As I close my eyes and take a deep. Take yourself fully into this place.PAIN This exercise can be used for any type of pain from minor to major. Then imagine that an orange (other any other color you’d prefer) light is flowing into your body and flowing to where the pain is and that this orange light is melting the granules away.. imagine the sound of salt crunching on a hard surface and imagine this is occurring right where the pain is. smell it. allow that color to flow in and out as well. I take a moment now and release my subconscious by clearing your mind and visualizing the sky and clouds drifting in the blue sky. I feel the slowing down that is occurring in my body and mind as I allow all tension. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. taking this time right now for myself. I can feel the rhythm of my breathing gently rock me into an even more comfortable place. In this place there is nothing else that you have to do but help yourself. like salt. If you feel like it and have the time. Acknowledge to yourself that this is a place where you take care of yourself only and no one else. Then imagine or visualize white granules.e. You will feel completely relaxed and at the same time energized. hours. First by thinking that when you count yourself out and when you reach the number 5 you will be completely out of deep relaxation and no longer suggestible. heal yourself and relax yourself. Imagine the color intensifies as it melts the granules away. The orange light flowing in and out of your body surrounding your entire body like a cocoon as it continues flowing in and out.

You choose to feel comfort and safety within yourself. You are in control and in charge of your body. emotions. Here’s an example of one of mine that might help you. Count from 1 to 5 two or three times. A picture of a goal big or small of whatever you want in your life to replace those things that you don’t want any longer. After you’ve done that pick a word or a very short phrase that when you say it or think it this snapshot image instantly comes to mind. relationship. or whatever it is your desire. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. activity. Then count yourself out starting with the number 1 and go up to number 5. Keep in mind that you can develop one picture or a picture for different parts of your life such as your job. feeling the power the strength and the focus that you desire.number 5 you will feel the cleansed energy that you earlier released rushing back into your mind and body. yourself. Now get a clear image of this picture and make it as detailed as you 121 . I’m standing outside on my ranch next to my horses. Let go of all tightness within you. there’s a couple of dogs running around in the background and a couple of cats sitting on a fence post. Here’s my snapshot. I want my own ranch or enough space and land where I can have all the animals that I want and love to have around me and. © Copyright 2003. You are in charge of your healing and your life. I’m laughing and my guy is there smiling with his arms around me and everything simply glows with joy and pleasure. my guy and I are in love. thoughts and feelings. happy and having fun together. Positive Affirmations to help reduce pain: • • • • You choose to now allow your body to feel strong and free of pain. The word that will instantly bring this picture to my mind is “Ranch”. SNAPSHOT The first step is to get a clear picture or several pictures of what you want.

NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att. I vibrate with positive energy. I am ready to clear away any resistance that will prevent me from moving forward now. © Copyright 2003. My life is becoming more joyful on every level. You will also find that those old nasty images appear less and less until they pretty much disappear. The Universe is supporting me on all levels as I move forward. that picture fills my mind and those other images fade 122 . I release all fear and anxiety from my mind and body. I choose to forget past mistakes now. With my thoughts I create my new. live in the moment and dream in the future.Whenever I find my thoughts drifting to that negative self talk that we all occasionally have or when I get to feeling a bit depressed about ever getting that little ranch. I say to myself RANCH. I keep saying ranch until that image. POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS I am ready and willing to move forward in my life now. positive delightful reality. I release all stress and tension from my mind and body. At first it took a bit of work before the negative images completely faded but with just a little bit of persistence and practice. my positive Snapshot came faster and easier and you will find that the same is true for you.

35.. 6.. 20. 94.... 4... 128............ 35........ 43.... 128 anxiety 7... 65.... 38. Ph.... 123... 21...... 121.....21 Arreed Barabasz .. 27..5.....2..... 31.5. 97... 94. 36.......... 122 chronic anger . Ph.... 130 apprehension... 104.... 37... 44.. 103.86 Circle Therapy .......... 90.. 55..... 21.. 78.. 79 cancer. 8.... 127.. 104..... 31. 112 compassion . 119..... 114....Index 12-step programs .. 10............. 72...... 50........ 44.2. 18... 109... 29. 58........ 41. 129 food addictions. 38... 39. 26.... 36.... 90 coronary disease.. 96. 47...... 60. 37.... 79... 21 David Spiegel. NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.... 54.......... 99. 24.. 2......... 7.... 125 Elizabeth Kubler-Ross ..... 78.. 121.. 57..... 89 fear 1.. 112.. 52.... 90. 22.. 74. 96.... 30 Eric Butterworth . 37... 56. 63.. 78......... 1.......24.. 59... 27.......... 23. 71.. 32..... 55 Dawn Abraham . 66.. 6............ 75...... 131 dreams 22.D.. 41. 46..... 78............. 118 consciousness 8..... 110 communication . 61....54 association .. 79............. 48. 89 balance ..86 addict ....... . 47.......38..... 78 E&P attraction ........... 35............. 53. 106......... 114.... 38... 22.. 25....30 anchor ...... 32...... 10.. 80.... 36.. 78 affirmations...... 3.. 129..7.......... 81... 114. 3 Alzheimer’s ......... 14..... 6...125 anger .......... 87. 37....... 105.. 76.........2. 5...... 32.. 6...9....... 94... 23. 67....1........ 77...107 abuse 5... 94. 97..... 28. 7.. 63.... 101.. 60. 5..... 129 diet ................ 12................ 124 drinking.......... 126 adrenalin .................... 79. 24........ 37.....88 clarity 9. 46.... 97...... 55 emotional freedom technique . 35........ 129 alcoholism... 89.. 76....... 46..... 78 cortisol .. 44.. 103....... 37.... 113 Abraham Hicks ......... 78 alternative programs .. 63... 127...5.. 78. 5.... 4. 10 binging . 116. 38.. 71.... 26. 95.... 79 dream 1..... 53.. 78 EFT . 125.. 95.. 63. 54............ 6. 5. 21..... 92............ 44..... 7........ 106. 7 attraction .... 118 acute pain. 8. 6........ 60.......... 35.............. 45.... 104. 57.. 72... 24 eating disorders....... 45... 105 Burkitt’s lymphoma.. 76.. 89. 19......... 105 darkest hour . 94... 104............. 43. 94.... 98........ 97... 109.. 113...53. 32..58 choice2....... 95.5.... 74.2. 36....... 56. 80.. 58.... 5. 6.. 31. 42.... 37............ 73. 71.......... 32.. 122.... 60....... ... 102.......... i .7........... 38... 96... 3.. 43.............. 76...30... 48.. 27. 6. 83......... 21..... 94 baggage. 89..... 115.. 110.. 94. 101. 6. 30. 119........ 52. 70.... 88.... 97... 107 Cheryl O’Neil ... 34.... 26........ 117...... 130 epilepsy ..... 50. 52.. 15. 81..... 104.. 86.. 70....... 78 chronic pain . 44.. 21.. 47.....D. 84.. 58..... 21.. 62. 4... 126......... 126... 127.. 84.... 42. 42............. 78 forgiveness....... 22. 28. 114........... 9... 44......... 21...... 47. 5..... 43.......... 3 addiction ........ 73 depression ..... 50.... 130 focus.1........ 35. 45. 45........ 81.... 91.... 102..... 46.. 114..... 76 desire........ 12 Elvira Lang ....... 60....... 7.. 64......... 35....24......... 22....... 74... 39.... 81. 23. 35.. 93. 25.......... 52.. 102.... 81... 121 drug abuse..... 36................ 71............. 103.... 30.. 33.. 77. 21..... 27.3. 20.. 19... 95 © Copyright 2003... 44........... 16........ 55...... 119 confidence............... 77.. 33..121 blood sugar ... 88... 125 energy .... 32. 91... 116 Bereavement . 106. 36.. 97... 116 disease.. 2.. 98.8 Adrian Calabrese... 79 Carol Ginandes......

....... 84 panic attacks......................9. 58................. 57... 77.....8... 79..... 6 Pat Dennis.5. 59..... 115..... 120. 39..... 46.. 19.. 26..9.... 113 prosperity .. 43.... 47. 5... 13.. 58.. 29.. 37 self-esteem .... 47................ 40. 117.... 95...... 50... 58... 25. 6....... 6..37.. 119.... 78....... 56.54 Irina Wardas .... 31.....11.. 101 self-image ....... 58..................... 45......... 92... 86.. 10. 30....... 10.. 21.... 56........76 Hridaya Yoga..... 117 medicine........ 79........... 9. 32.. 30 passive-aggressive ......... 10........ 94.... 121 snapshot .. 101... 79. 121 relationships24.... 39....... 78.. 127..... 78........... 54..... 28..........40. 22.... 10.... 103. 27.... 93 message units . 21.................... 111... 30.......83 Law of Attraction....... 35.... 113............... 43......... 51....... 118 Gary Craig . 127 hypersuggestible .... 60.. 36.7....84 Jill Ammon-Wexler . 56.... ii ..... 57. 87 lose weight 4. 57.. 22.. 110....... 39. 37... 78 Scientific Review of Mental Health practice............ 54...12 habit ..... 88......... 118..5... 125..... 21... 53. 17 Janet Luhrs..... 112...... 32 phobia ............ 52.. 55....... 47.. 53.. 56. 15.............. 36. 87... 58...... 6.. 122..10..... 105.. 23.. 22. 59.................. 128.. Woods . 118 self-talk .. 76.... 114.........35 goal ........... 125 Hypnosis Motivation Institute . 101.................. 129 heart disease. 78 International Journal of Clinical and Experimental Hypnosis......... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att.....32 illness 36.. 42....... 66.... 38... 89.......... 81..... 78.. 77. 57 neural interconnections ... 47.............. 78. 115 smoking.... 65... 49............. 37 powerless ....... 37. 22. 74. 78.. 109.36 joy . 79............... 122 Ida Kendall ..... 119.. 120 relaxation ...... 38. 30.......... 75........ 109. 76. 7... 71 life force..... 42. 79...... 107..... 122 Quantum 90 quit smoking .. 77..2... 94............ 64...32 hypnotherapy .... 16. 29. 106 Mount Sinai School of Medicine . 42... 113..... 53... 43....... 69.. 79... 30. 94 mood swings ... 14.... 102. 127.... 37... 53........................ 78...... 57.. 67... 83 nitric oxide . 63.. 118.. 57..... 7..... 77..... 115... 109... 58............... 89... 60.... 8.... 56.. 67. 43... 10.. 109...3. 93... 88.............. 77..83 John Kappas............ 47.......... 43. 29 neuro pathways .......... 77..... 6. 22... 32.... 65.. 53............ 87....... 103.......... 6... 116 happiness .. 50......... 5... 33.. 78.. 57... 89................... 37...... 83.. 116.. 37.. 107 healing ... 122 Harvard ........... 2.... 77... 36 Guilt ....10. 77.... 32... 28... 35 Ryke Geerd Hamer ............ 110....... 86..... 27. 58...7...... 53.... 130 Judith DeLozier ........................ 5...... 64.... 44..... 86.......... 37... 26.......... 34... 7.....24.................10. 59.................... 59. 54.. 114 imagery ..... 5....... 44........ 79...fulfillment . 63.......... 108 Parkinson’s disease............ 119 neuro-linguistic programming ..1.... 105 Jane C...... 123... 87. 95..24 Journal of Clinical Psychology. 8. 78 NLP.......... 110........ 43... 15. 120...... 89 phobias.............. 54. 77.28 John Grinder .. 129 grief.... 46....... 128 Richard Bandler ..... 118......8 hypnosis .. 77....... 125 men ... 78... 58.. 13. 84.............. 85..... 56 hurt. 9. 21.... 76.. 86 habits. 38. 47. 107................. 35.. 37............ 4... 35... 107........30 high blood pressure..... 67.... 83 Roger Callahan ........... 99......... 130 snapshot exercise © Copyright 2003........ 3. 83 Robert Dilts..... 1...... 34............ 99.. 59...... 129 resentment... 32. 37... 83 overload ..... 125 immune suppression ....... 54.............

.... 47.... 5................... 58....... 120 suicide................. 37. 116 Women.....83 Stephen Kosslyn ....... 21. 111 victimhood ................... 118.... 115... 84.... 114 weight ...... 101. 122. 43........ 7... 47......28 Trance & Treatment: Clinical Uses of Hypnosis ..... 22.... 44... 122 zeal...... NewBeginnings newhypnotherapy@att... 109........ 30............. 77..... 8............. 36............57 stress hormones ...... 30.. 85. 5. 109 triggers . 37............. 113..... 77. 80.. 128 subconsciously... 114 visualization.................................. 59..44................. 124 © Copyright 2003.......... 106 wounds ...4.................. 121 value areas of life.. 59................ 78. 79 thought habits .. 85.......... 65.... 78................... 6......Stephen Gilligan ........... 77.. 95......... 34.............107 trigger..... 10..... 91.... 95......... 109............... 34. 114 triggering event ... 56... 6... 6. 29....... 107... 79......................... 94... 78 subconscious............ 120 yummy list ... 60.. 26. 39... 75.. 77..... 37...............6.. 46..... 7. 48................... 112....5........53 iii ..... 45..... 125.... 2..... 57.. 38... 110 Two Futures .....................