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An introduction to Carteation Techniques and Degrees

Abstract: This paper describes the very useful techniques of carteation. Several people use this technique in their jobs or studies without detailed knowledge. Along this work we will define carteation, describe the mental process behind it, present a classification in 4 degrees and give examples of famous carteators to inspire the readers. Keywords: carteation techniques, acochambration, carteation degrees.

1. Introduction Carteation can be defined as trying to convince people on any subject when you are as ignorant as them. You can also carteate when you are even more ignorant than the people around you, but than you need more advanced techniques. The term was created as a reference to the act of playing card, probably because of the figure of the joker (figure 1). Because it involves technical, communicative and interpersonal skills, carteation is really an art. It takes years of practice to master all the secrets. An interesting alternative definition is given by Mouro et al.: Carteation is the process of on-the-fly generation of terms, explanations or any other desired information about any specific subject. Mouro highlights that the combination of this technique with the similar, but different capacity called acochambration, allows the creation of reports, documents and presentations in general about any subject without the need for extensive research or analysis. He also highlights the link between the carteation capacity and the work as a consultant.

Figure 1: the joker and other common card figures that inspired carteation.

Research and Development is a field where carteation finds very broad application. The reason is that nobody really knows what they are talking about, so the talent to carteate can make an ordinary person became an authority. This paper resumes the main techniques and presents the degrees of carteation, as it tries to investigate the unique characteristics of this art. A lot of researchers dedicate their time to develop skills as carteators, because once you learn it, you can convince people and make a good impression on any subject, from nanotechnology to natural history, from artificial intelligence to impressionism.

2. The Carteation Process Carteation begins with a subject that you are also ignorant about. Note that if you know something, you dont need to carteate. The process follows with the cycle inspiration, memory and creativity. This cyclic process has to be performed in a few seconds (remember, the artist has to generate information on the fly). Carteators than need to show they have assertiveness. A good explanation of what assertiveness means is the carteation axiom It doesnt really matter what you say, but how you say it. Carteation is what comes next in the process. The

artist starts talking as an expert, using references and examples fluently, without demonstrating his efforts to create everything he is saying. This is when the magic happens. The last step is public recognition as a good source or information. Figure 2 shows the process.

term memory and then using creativity and assertiveness to convince people that you know that with a lot of details. Google and wikipedia are excellent sources of carteation material. 4. Carteation Degrees There are four degrees associated to the carteation capacity of a person:

Subject Inspiration Memory Creativity Assertiveness Carteation Recognition

Figure 2: the carteation process.

3. Carteation Techniques

The first general carteation technique consists on talking to stupid people to convince them. Some traditional carteators consider that convincing ignorant and stupid people is easy and should not be confounded with the real art. Anyway, this is how most of the good carteators started their careers, and deserves to be present as a technique in this paper. Note that a stupid audience may be a good starting point for a carteator, but will not present him the real challenges to become a master. The second great technique is making some very simple research just before you are going to meet people. For example, go to wikipedia before lunch, read an article on something nobody knows and bring up that subject while you eat. People will find it difficult to argument with you and, even you being very ignorant on the subject, you will leave the table with some recognition. The technique consists in loading very specific information on your short-

Kicker: the person that only carteates eventually and the audience is pretty sure that he is carteating. His carteation capabilities are limited to a few subjects that he feels confident about. This degree is where most of the R&D engineers live their whole lives. The kicker does not create the opportunities to carteate, and is not very smart in identifying an opportunity to do so during his day. Carteator: The person with good skills to carteate, being able to deceive the ones who dont know him or are not familiar with the subject. Consultants in general are at this degree. Needless to say, this is a very desirable characteristic of someone working on R&D. Many kickers can get to this degree with dedication and observation of the masters. The next degrees, however, require a lot of talent. They are for just a few. Croupier: a renowned carteator, who carteates with frequency and ability to delude many people about any subject, to the point of carteating about the melody and the lyrics of a song he has never heard in his life. A good example is Rocha, G.C., who became famous for his good talks during lunch time and, more recently, his great theory of the conscientious systems. Another example of a croupier that deceives people around the world is Hobbs, G. Gambit: the supreme master. A carteation virtuose. An automatic reports generator. Genetically unable to repeat the sentence I dont know. The gambit is able to convince you of anything, on any subject, and you can swear he is right. Its the illumination state, the carteators Nirvana. The best living example is Magalhes, C. A few facts about the life of this impressive man who still lives in Brazil can be seen in figure 3. He was two times world champion in France.

Figure 3: Magalhaes, C., an inspiration for all of us.

5. Conclusions This paper presented the main concepts about the art of carteation, some good basic techniques and the four degrees that differentiate between child and men. Most people will live their lives as simple kickers. A few will develop to eventual carteators. Some with talent and dedication may be recognized as croupiers, and only a few illuminated human beings will turn into gambits. But dont let this fact disencourage you. The important thing is that you realize how carteation techniques can make your life better in studies and work.