The Chao te Ching

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Edited by Cramulus and LMNO With Contributions & Advice from Burns, Cain, Honey, Hoopla, Kai, Lies, Ratatosk, Requia, Roaring Biscuit, Telarus, and Triple Zero. Special Thanks to the principiadiscordia.com community

PREFACE
BY CRAMULUS The Chao Te Ching was conceived at a tea party which took place on Mount Olympus' Limbo Peak. An ancient Chinese Chaosopher named Lao Tzu had been riding his bike through the mountains of the afterlife and somehow ended up crashing into Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and Aftermath. Lao Tzu was supposed to meet Confucius, who had just gotten the first season of Lost on DVD. Instead, he decided to hang out with this crazy Greek chick. The two of them talked for days. They had very similar ideas but approached them in different ways. Lao Tzu preferred to observe the universe through quiet contemplation, whereas Eris enjoyed tossing golden apples, watching everybody's colors come out as they scrambled for them. But they both believed the universe was essentially a pretty cool place, brimming with creativity and potential. "It's difficult to talk about things as big as Every Thing," said Lao Tzu as he sipped his tea. "But one thing I think we can agree on is that everything's got a natural ebb and flow to it. And that humans do well when they recognize that flow and go with it." "Yeah," said Eris, "But if everything is part of that flow, even going against it is part of it. And in fact, you need to go against it sometimes to move forward." "But what is there to go against?" asked the wrinkly fruit of a man. "When you have a story to make sense of the universe, that's order. When you don't, that's disorder. That's one of the things humans need to figure out, how to balance those two."

Meanwhile, on Earth, two spags called Cramulus and Alphapance were meditating on what it would be like if Eris hooked up with Lao Tzu. They had skeeved themselves out with the imagery of this hot ass Greek Goddess grinding on some desiccated Chinese dude and decided never to discuss it again. But they couldn't. They just kept talking about it and obsessing over it until they had to write it down. They were originally planning on publishing the manuscript as an erotic novel, but luckily Eris appeared in a flash of noise and simultaneously slapped both of them in the face. "You stupid spags," spake Eris, "Lao Tzu and I have been trying to inspire you for days, but you're too busy making dick jokes to notice." Then, much to Cramulus and Alphapance's disappointment, she transformed their wretched manuscript into the Chao Te Ching. "What is this garbage?" asked Cramulus as he flipped through it, "And what the hell is a 'wise spag'?" "A spag is an idiot, you spags," said Eris, "A wise spag is a spag that knows just what a spag he is." "Stop saying spag," said Alphapance, "please." Eris slapped him again. Then she vanished in a cloud of synthpop. "Okay, that was uncalled for," said Alphapance as he rubbed his cheek. "We're going to have to rewrite this ourselves." "Hah! We're going to totally bung it up!" laughed Cramulus. And they did.

namely a syntax which parodies Biblical verse.] Skip ahead forty years. summary can be found on Wikipedia. it claimed that disorder was as important as order. To further tweak their noses at the establishment. A collection of collage. clearly. First. the authors of the Chao te Ching wished to use the structure of the Taoist classic the Tao te Ching as a literary framework as a way to present Discordian ideas in a new context. mostly as a reaction to the rigid cultural norms found in America at that time. if you will) of a stylistic aspect found in the Prinicipia Discordia. and to embrace the latter without the former was foolish. based upon present-day contexts and socio-economic-political realities. the authors chose a minor Greek deity "Eris" as their anthropomorphized symbol of worship. if somewhat pedestrian. the authors were presented with a number of challenges. which brings us to the Chao te Ching. Currently.A NOT-AT-ALL FUNNY FOREWARD TO THE CHAO TE CHING BY DOKTOR ALPHAPANCE Regardless of the origins. It distills and updates basic principles. As such. In using a classic text such as this. originally produced and distributed by hand. and metaphysics under the name Principia Discordia. While the austere poetry of the original proved to be a boon when parsing down typically verbose philosophical rants about the nature of reality . [Note: a more complete. a brief history of Discordianism: It was conceived as both a parody religion and a lighthearted philosophy in the late 1950's. as well as setting down current extrapolations and reinterpretations of such. was eventually released as a publication in 1970. the Chao te Ching is an important contribution to Discordian thought. satire. the idea of Discordianism still exists and has expanded. as various adherents adopt and adapt the vague and often ill-defined concepts found in the original book into new outlooks on consensus reality. The manner in which this book you are holding was written appears to be an adaptation (a "riff".

"a philosophy inside a joke inside a religion inside of another joke. See. Taoism often presents the universe in two distinct parts. it provides a perspective that may be unfamiliar to the casual reader." Most Discordians wouldn't even go so far as saying the Chao te Ching is a way to live your life – they want you to make up your own mind. often calling even their own definitions into question.and authority. The authors actively encourage new translations. it can only be assumed that the authors intend for the curious to hunt down and explore further texts which describe such concepts in more depth. . this entire work has been filed under a Non-Commercial Share Alike license. Discordians. I told you this wouldn't be funny. often to the point of explicitly pointing out said contradictions. and The Machine™. While the passages add up to fairly concise explanations. In addition. In fact. But all of this avoids the main question: Why was the Chao te Ching written? What purpose can it serve? In short. This issue is dealt with through recursive lines and chapters in the Chao te Ching that contradict previous chapters. or perhaps clarification if all they have heard of Discordianism is that it's. The Black Iron Prison. Not wanting the book to be an encyclopedia. in order to keep Discordia alive and vibrant rather than unchanging and stagnant. Yin and Yang. they can only allude to concepts like The Barstool. do not usually hold to such strict duality. the authors have apparently coined new terms and metaphors not found in the Principia Discordia. which lets the reader create their own translation of the Chao te Ching without fear of copyright violation. on the other hand.

this is the door to the essence of all life. The name that can be given is not an accurate name. . we pretty much covered that. Well. it is the source of Order and Disorder. From the comic to the tragic. Named. These two are the same. yeah? Whoever is Disordered..Chapter 1 The Universe that can be described is not the real Universe. They both may be called Illusion. Whoever is Ordered. Nameless. but what is produced has names. sees that patterns do not exist. sees every pattern..

there arises the idea of Reality. They organize. They act. Therefore Order and Disorder produce each other. . When they know there is such a thing as Illusion. there arises the recognition of Disorder. Reality and Illusion trick each other. but they do not Disorder. And so are able to act again. but they Keep Their Fucking Mouths Shut. Authority and Freedom define each other. and stick their wrench into the Machine™. but they do not Order. So the wise spags look for balance.Chapter 2 When the people of the world all know Order as Order. They break apart. Love and Hate fuck each other.

lesser spags will treat it like objective Truth. Therefore the wise spags lead by knowing their Prison and staying pragmatic. .Chapter 3 If you put value in subjective Bullshit. you will understand others'. Like hitting someone with a Barstool to prove that it actually exists. call people on their Bullshit so there will be no narcissism to exploit. By understanding your Cell.

You can't really observe Chaos. It multiplies its opposite.Chapter 4 This is Chaos: it is everything. The origin of all patterns. . It confuses Order. Ok. it arranges Disorder. that last one's not quite accurate. It has existed before we observed it. lining the world. Lying below life. just the consequences. it positively negates. including itself. All of Starbuck's Pebbles come from it.

The wise spag wears a helmet.Chapter 5 Life is unfair. Even the wise spag gets punched. but also drops hammers. wear a helmet. To struggle against it is like pissing in the wind. Anything could be a punchline. . Chaos never ends! Even its vacuum has a presence.

and then wonder why their world collapses so easily. "If you think this is just a ha-ha." And yet. They liken the serious to the Grey. . Sometimes She uses Disorder. but some only see what they choose. some demand only humor as if Eris were a petty amusement. The old texts say. Sometimes She works through you. then go read it again.Chapter 6 Chaos is beyond division. Sometimes the joke's on you. Sometimes Eris uses Order.

you should probably still duck. It is as unfeeling and uncaring about itself as a Barstool in midflight: Even if you have convinced yourself it consists mainly of empty space. So the wise spags look outside their own brains and grasp the surrounding minds. Because isn't the other way tantamount to masturbation? . They see the bars of their Black Iron Prison and so are able to see around them.Chapter 7 The Universe outside your Prison Cell has gone on before you. and goes on after you.

or be it Aneristic. Be the Illusion Eristic. and the impositon of Order.Chapter 8 The best are like the Chao. and as they travel. Each adds to the other. . It's not their fault that the Aneristic has no sense of humor. they see the world as others would see Illusion. The escalation of Disorder. It balances the Order and the Disorder. As they live. they strive to complete the balance.

Temper the truth to its very sharpest. . and you will cut both friend and foe.Chapter 9 Write the longest. wisest essay and no one will have time to read it. They want you to ride their bikes. The Ancients do not want you to read their books. Who wants to ride a five thousand year old bike? You can get better advice from cats than from parodies of ancient wisdom.

without using your mind? To create and destroy with no sense of self. it never hurts to try.Chapter 10 Can you laugh so hard that it sounds like screaming? Can you snicker like a jaded fogey while giggling like a newborn baby? Can you look with eyes that will actually see? Can you lead people without dominating them? Can you understand. to lead without tyranny… Well. to act without obligation. .

See what exists. . interpret. We knew all along words don’t count. use what does not. yet keep coming back to the very same thing. not staying constrained inside the lines. We stick apart and stay baffled.Chapter 11 The Mandelbrot grows in infinite complexity based on the empty space at its center. nor reducing the pattern to scribbles. The lens of the first microscope revealed fractillian ignorance. Shaped words. Knowledge is built on facts: A scaffolding to support ignorance. adapt or construe. corrupt. The lines in a coloring book give the page form but crayons give it life. unraveled meanings.

nor the map with the territory. What is Believed subverts what Should Not. Both are approximations. What is Heard diverts from what Can Not. The Cell walls we have built comfort us into ignorance.Chapter 12 What is Seen distracts from what Is Not. But the wise spag does not confuse the meal with the menu. .

Chapter 13 Having and not having both create frustration. Expand your definition of Self to include the universe. "Possessing" always comes served with a golden apple. This way you can have it all with nothing to lose. Being "The prettiest one" cultivates pride and makes others ugly. Not being "The prettiest one" cultivates envy and leads to war. .

it binds our choices. and sees a new sunrise every day. Because it is unnoticed. it is inescapable. There is neither shape nor form. we forget it is there. Run from it. for it blinds us. for it deafens us.Chapter 14 We cannot see it. When not seen. and there shall be no victory. We cannot hear it. . and you shall die tired. for we have built it. brick by brick. We do not know it exists. So the wise spag moves it. Fight it. but it is as immovable as Iron. When not remembered.

the goals are realized. in that it cannot be understood. Can you still be moved to wonder. a direction becomes clear. Making their own luck.Chapter 15 The wise spags understand Chaos. Who can make sense of two contradicting Illusions? Do you know your ass from your elbow? Seeing through the spin. they must use metaphors. the wise spag is not troubled. or are you too cynical? . Adapting to the situation. Preparing for aftermath. Because of that. Surfing the waves of Chaos. Changing their filters. understanding grows. In this way. Attempting a jailbreak. Amending the theory. which are piss-poor ways of communicating.

then rage. The mind may lose it. a well-rounded renaissance. If you can get slack from a stone. When your work is over. To know eternity you must find slack.Chapter 16 Forget about everything and be cool. Return to the slack. To return to slack is relaxing. the chill. To act with no knowledge of slack is to bumble and court disaster. . To be open to everything is to be impartial. everything returns to the cool. then you can go everywhere. If you can get slack from anywhere. then get stoned. If rage is your slack. To know where you're going is to know eternity. The body may die. Whoever can find slack anywhere is open to everything. the quiet. If laughter is your slack. then laugh. You realize where you're going.

so as not to get caught. The wise spag accomplishes their task and keeps their mouth shut. .Chapter 17 People who are asleep want Authority to make decisions." they do not want to be given responsibility. They do not want to be told "no. They want an Authority they agree with. Authority lacks trust. and will not be trusted.

.Chapter 18 When Chaos is forgotten. When people Think for Themselves. When the people surrender their responsibilities to Authority. Religion and Politics marry. the illusions of Order and Disorder arise. When the Black Iron Prison is ignored. Objectivity and Subjectivity become entwined. the Revolution is born.

Abandon absolute morality. Territory. the people won't try to kill the Other. Morals. the people will benefit. and there will be nothing to steal. Abandon intellectual copyright. Politics. . People will always be distracted by their imagination: Religion.Chapter 19 Abandon blind faith and pseudointellectual bullshit.

" and lay down to sleep undisturbed. . I raise a challenge with "I Don't Know. then reach a firm conclusion and move on to the next shiny object. I am unsure. punishing and praising throughout the day. How much difference is there between True and False? How much difference is there between Order and Disorder? Why should you care about what Most People care about? Is what people Believe really to be believed? Not fucking likely! The people know from Right and Wrong. and Illusions end.Chapter 20 Abandon Reality. as if they can see the Universe. The people of the world know Sacred from Sinful. I see the Chaos in the patterns. Cool as the other side of the pillow. and seek more information. People will over-think a problem. Stop worrying so much about the world. Most people try to see the pattern in the Chaos. I keep my thoughts alive and tucked in my head. waiting for the next Observation. I ride the waves of Chaos where it takes me. expressionless as a newborn babe. Most People try to force Purpose into their life.

and has the power of Creation. . we Create the patterns of Illusion from which we ever after try and free ourselves. Life is real.Chapter 21 The wise spags try keeping their minds at one with the Chao. From the moment we are born. not just Authority's version. How can this help a spag think for themselves? Because they can choose immeasurable points of view. How do I know of these Illusions? By observing Chaos. How can their mind be at one with it? Because they don't whine about minutiae. But if the Chao is ineffable. That is why they are able to think for themselves.

Every human houses a monkey.Chapter 22 Newton's Third Law is no Illusion: Each thing contains its opposite. So the wise spags stay on their toes. there is Disorder. Revolutions have Reactionaries as offspring. and avoid labels. In Hate. "Think outside the box" imply that a box exists in the first place? There is no box. Does not the old saying. Each Machine™ has its self-destruct switch. In Order. . there is Love.

. a good mood is often fleeting. our conscious schemes. Built by the expectations we create through our expectations. nor a bad day lasts a lifetime. the action we create through our actions. the jobs we create with our jobs.Chapter 23 The Machine™ is built by our behaviors. and fortune does not always smile. Our unconscious desires. the world we create with our world. The Machine™ contains more than is apparent. But as a traffic jam does not last all morning.

The Leader acts like a bully on the playground. The Anarchist believes in Disorder. The Celebrity sees themselves. . and so do not succeed.Chapter 24 The Grayface believes in Order. The Bureaucrat seeks control. The General sees war. Therefore the followers of Eris like to poke them with sticks. All these things are balanced in Chaos. The Scientist and the Priest believe in the model.

but are convinced what we see is the entire Universe. We only see small parts of It. It is all things. and unknowable in full. beyond the Illusions of Order and Disorder. I point out that their head is too fucking small. When asked why not call It "god".Chapter 25 There is Something that exists. Because we believe in the Illusions we create. At dinner parties. . I claim It is everything Possible and Impossible. I call It "Chaos". our heads are too fucking small. we are more creative than Chaos. For lack of a better name. Because we create the Illusions in which we live. In this way. we reflect our creations.

and does not walk away when the Truth is not funny. I mean.Zeppo? You know. The wise spag laughs all day without the need for jokes.. Every Marx brother needs a Zeppo.. . I swear. .Chapter 26 Serious is the root of hilarious. you kids today. Laughter can be very serious. the straight man? Oh. really.

A good sabateur leaves no evidence. . But you can gradually redesign it part by part. Those who proclaim their individuality by following rebels are still grey. though their fingernails be black. A good barstool removes much idle speculation. party by party. and takes their freedom once inside. and know how to get things done. This is called "Tweaking the Machine™". They understand the people around them. So a wise spag knows how to blend in. A good artist leaves new questions. A nice tie opens many doors. Such things bring my palms to my face. The Machine™ cannot be stopped. The perfect prison cell looks like the environment.Chapter 27 A good mindfuck leaves no reasons.

Some reel back in terror. Some laugh through the horror.Chapter 28 The news anchor is a comedian who delivers grim stand-up with a straight face. one must master seriousness. The Discordian wears many masks. To live in a bad joke with a straight face one must master humor. . This makes them poor victims. Some are numb. To tell a bad joke with a straight face.

Some win. The wise keeps their head down and let the cannon fodder do their jobs. some fail. Some cry. and some laugh. Some lead. and some whisper. .Chapter 29 Those that would take over the world and bend it to their will. Maybe the world would be better off without them. and some follow. Some shout. The world is full of would-be superheroes and would-be supervillains. will get bent.

Chapter 30 If you're going to do some Covert Ops in the name of Discordia. They strike against Authority. and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut. and then walk away. but don't pat themselves on the back. but don't stick around to watch. They subvert the paradigm. but don't put it on the Internet. keep your head down. They mindfuck the people. . If two people know a thing. The wise spags toss a wrench into the Machine™. A mowhawk is as good as a target during Police Action. it is not a secret. Getting away with it means staying away from it.

They enter the idiot asylum with care and consideration as if crossing a battlefield or tiptoeing through a slumber party. So be suspicious about them. It is the sound of the Chao and those who hear it. . and stay flexible. The wise spags will break them without drawing attention and will be rewarded with sovereignty. The symphony of rattling chains is neither noise nor music. Wise spags speak of a jail break. Those who oppose the freedom of others are not evil. Rules disguise suspicion. The wise spags use the creative trip left. but have caged themselves. if being free is their intent.Chapter 31 Being rigid makes a person easy to opress. and lead by example by rattling their own chains. there should be no rest. When freedom is in danger. or the destructive trip right.

all definitions are incomplete. With labels. because it contains all labels. the wise spags see the Illusion. and Illusion slips into Chaos. . Knowing when to stop. labels begin. all the way down. one should know when to stop.Chapter 32 Chaos cannot be labeled. It's Gödels. Order and Disorder unite. When people create language. And are free to create as they choose. Therefore.

Those who revolt against their own biases are brave. Those who questions themselves are enlightened.Chapter 33 Those who question others are wise. Those who revolt against the masses seek attention. Those who reject the unproven are foolish. . Those who accept through faith are blind.

Chapter 34 Chaos embraces the Illusions of Order and Disorder. . It does not judge. it has no subjectivity. I know. It contains all things. But sometimes only a paradox can explain what's going on. fat intentional contradiction. Even that which is not there. Because there is no Other. you're thinking that this is all one big. then it does not change. Fair enough. If all things that change are within it. for even thoughts outside Chaos are found within Chaos. It has no meta.

The Cabbage on the street may be starving. . but still gets things done. fall flat on your face. so beware of believing it to be the territory.Chapter 35 The wise spag treats every day like a day off. But even that is an incomplete map. but the Chao on the menu will never taste like hamburger. Everyone seeks the one who balances the Chao because within it lives every possibility. Jump to conclusions.

they are not frightened by the unknown. They must protect their territory. You should pay attention when your ideas get in someone's face. they shouldn't be frightened. . but we're all still monkeys. The wise spags know their maps can only be changed by themselves. Well. When you know where you are. you know what to defend.Chapter 36 Movement creates territory. The maps in your head are extensions of yourself. Knowing this. in the end. We create with the body. People are frightened of new ideas because they feel invaded. but amend with the mind.

So the wise spags know their limitations. Yet some people will live their entire lives without ever encountering a stray thought. Limitations in the body are difficult to change.Chapter 37 Every spag has limitations. and how to change them. . They are still in the Black Iron Prison. Limitations in the mind are easier to change (but not by much). Some are in the body. Some are in the mind. yet can see through the bars and attempt another jailbreak. These people do not know they are in Prison.

the wise spags create their own rules. and so are boundless. forgetting that they go together plants the seed of a cabbage. When Freedom is lost.Chapter 38 The sacred Chao includes both Order and Disorder. Therefore the wise spags never know. While it's fun to toy with both. and to peer above walls. In the same way. Therefore when doubt is lost. Doubt allows people to see around corners. Absolutism is born. When Absolutism encounters dissent. Authority arises. To emphasize the inside is to pollute the outside with a grid. To emphasize the outside is to lose your center. the Self includes the inside and the outside. . When Authority arises. Freedom is lost.

A confused mind cannot grasp it and cannot drop it. Words reduce the Chao. When spags try to order the Chao. For every conclusion they make. This is how we turn Order and Disorder into fractals of Illusion.Chapter 39 Every spag's mind is a better artist than they can ever know. dingy. If you can think it. Words are angry & sterile. Each certainty has its own gravity that attracts the Illusions of Order. either. the sky becomes dirty. you can prove it. . supporting facts rise to the surface.

The absence of Illusion is the state of Chaos.Chapter 40 Incomprehensible Totality is the nature of Chaos. All spags in the world create their own Illusions. For the record. "Incomprehensible Totality" is fairly incomprehensible. and then spend the rest of their lives bound by them. .

and decide it means they should get high and doodle. Some hear about Discordia. Aggression appears confident. If it weren't for those spags. Uncertainty reveals itself as a narrow footbridge. but with its heart in Chaos. Discordia wouldn't be as interesting as it is. Disorder appears unsettling and unstable. Order appears calming and sensible. the path is clear. and think about it at great length. Some hear about Discordia. . Horror appears powerless.Chapter 41 Some hear about Discordia. Certainty appears true. and plot against the Machine™. Mirth appears uncaring. Doubt appears ignorant. All these are lies.

. shall pass. I teach as well: "And this. things that fall apart are helpful. Sometimes. depending on how you look at it. too. which is Three. People hate when someone is being an asshole. The Two produce Confusion. but their leaders are all assholes. What others teach. And Confusion produced everything else.Chapter 42 Chaos is One. Order and Disorder are Two." That's the first thing you need to know. All things contain Order and Disorder.

. feel solid wood in their hands.Chapter 43 When discussing "Reality. The wise spags heft a barstool. Matter is made up mostly of empty space." the Professor and the Poet speak loftily about how things are figments. Everything could be a hallucination. and with a simple application of F=ma refute their argument. We only perceive sensations.

which do you choose? Those who chase one are led to the other. The only thing is. which do you prefer? Creation or Destruction.Chapter 44 Order or Disorder. Those who embrace both are free to choose which is more effective. can you be sure which is which? .

The greatest Disorder appears stable. but a flaw cannot be found. Just as the Zen master's staff strikes to cease thought. The greatest Order seems random. The best argument seems specious. . Only later does it infect the mind.Chapter 45 The greatest mindfuck seems normal. The Barstool crashes through castles built on clouds. What "works" in the real world is correct.

the Machine™ grinds them into grist. Whoever can embrace both will see for miles. When people misunderstand Chaos.Chapter 46 When people understand Chaos. The greatest motivator of Order is Disorder. . they live their lives as they please. The greatest cause of Disorder is Order.

.Chapter 47 You can't view the Universe without one map or another. Therefore the wise spags wander through the world in doubt. The more you insist you are not in Prison. Glimpses outside your Cell are obscured by the bars. the less you will understand what restricts you. and constantly ask for directions.

.* But we tense our muscles.Chapter 48 If Order and Disorder are illusions. our Lady laughs at the silly Cabbages trying too hard to be spontaneous. furrow our brows and plug away at life. *Please note that changing your mind is not simple. Meanwhile. then turning one into the other is simple as changing your mind.

They see beyond True and False. "there is no box".Chapter 49 The wise have more than two options. The wise spags see more of the Universe by understanding how little of it they see. They recognize a Maybe. They understand that a spag who does not see their Cell is eternally trapped by it. This is what is meant by. . This is the freedom of limitations.

How is this possible? By seeing all possibilities as valid. The ways to lose look distant. Whether or not they are probable is an entirely different matter. . but the losses come swiftly. all while staying true to their goal. the ways to win seem clear. They can identify the pitfalls and recognize valid points. How did this happen? Because the mind held one side too strongly. It's said that those who are curious explore myriad aspects of life without judgment and in arguments are not affected by fallacy.Chapter 50 Coming to an argument.

be open to change.Chapter 51 If you want to be serious. and bold enough to be the butt of the joke. it was funny. your head high like a cosmic shmuck. When you walk with total certainty. When a shmuck slips. their face becomes red with embarrassment. And. don't take yourself seriously. . Eris showed them what they did not perceive. you are vulnerable to the old banana peel shtick. be honest.

. Admitting ignorance is wise. Come to solid conclusions. seek them out. Look for the gaps. Declaring stupidity is clever. reserve judgment. Embrace doubt. and then you'll know what needs filling. That which can be understood can be useful. and knowledge will flow like water. This is Thinking for Yourself. and nothing will make sense.Chapter 52 The unity of the Chao shattered into everything else. Those who understand Chaos can understand the rest. have unwavering Faith.

So some people revel in their abandonment of responsibility. What is unknown is vast. the people say. but people enjoy blinding themselves. This is fucking stupid. right or wrong." When the holy man thumps his scripture.Chapter 53 Even those who partially understand admit they do not know everything. . When Authority bangs the podium. the people embrace Faith over Facts. "my country. They have given up their humanity.

and seek out new groups. which come from others. unless they appear to be playing along. you destroy the Self.Chapter 54 Our society is firmly held and steered by deeply ingrained and arbitrary rules. Therefore the wise spags choose responsibly. Those who choose to play a different game are usually trampled underfoot. . and how to navigate between them. They know which rules are their own. To belong to the group. you must abandon responsibility. you must follow their rules. To follow their rules. When you abandon responsibility.

but remove them at will. To know doubt is to always seek an answer. They can freely create. and are not bound by chains of Faith. . Order does not placate them. To try and force Truth is dangerous. To know Chaos is to always be in doubt. They see around the bars of their Cell. The first errant bit of evidence will cause a collapse. Disorder does not trouble them.Chapter 55 Those who understand Chaos can pierce any illusion. knowing no boundaries. but color inside the lines when they must. and always look just a little bit further. They can wear ideas like masks. Whatever is monolithic will fall. To decide you're right before getting the facts is foolish.

Creation. Do you believe that? . also destroy. Those who destroy. Those who disbelieve are fools. and Destruction. Disorder. These are all lies. Those believing them can do anything. Study the sixteen forms of Order. also create.Chapter 56 Those that create.

Wars are waged by pandering to fears. Show them what they fear. The world can be won by joining opposites: Tell people what they want to hear." . the wise spags say. And if at all possible. try to be the one making the speech. and they will act like monkeys.Chapter 57 Authority rules through miscommunication. they will call you wise. they will call you just. Make them think like apes. but listen instead to what the audience is hearing. and they will follow. "Pay no attention to the speeches of Authority. Relieve them of their responsibilities. Therefore.

To allow for mistakes means accepting mistakes. .Chapter 58 When Authority imposes Order. To enforce Order ensures future punishment. and freely create their Illusions. The people want Freedom. The people want Order. When Authority allows Freedom. people become nervous. but at others' expense. but only to justify their actions. and organize Freedom. people become angry. Therefore the wise spags disrupt Order.

but they are not fools. Those who would undermine you are a part of what you do. those that try to impose Order become mired in disarray. "Because I said so.Chapter 59 Status gives power. . These are social laws of motion. it's hilarious. but power inhibits communication. Seek information from opposing sides. but also to the well-informed. the thermodynamics of discourse. Eventually. Talk to people who disagree." The people may be foolish. It's not personal. and do never resort to. Listen to the will of the people. Action creates resistance. Do not keep things concealed.

that create the rich texture. yet independent. He is given a set of rules that the people should follow. By flapping his arms.Chapter 60 A good leader is like an orchestra conductor. the more harmonious the performance. he tries organize them. The more careful and precise he is. However. a good leader knows that it is the individual differences working together. And so Order and Disorder combine to create beauty. .

ungraspable. Keep your head down. Keep your fucking mouth shut. while the crab grass creeps unharmed. and fading into nothingness. much can be accomplished. If all you want to do is brag about how cool you are.Chapter 61 A successful cabal is like a dust cloud. you might want learn to play the guitar. . arriving from nowhere. instead. Thus by concentrating on goals without playing ego games. The tallest blade of grass gets cut.

Scattered stones can tell a story. Both Order and Disorder are windows.Chapter 62 Chaos is contained in all things. . Behind them lies Chaos. How do the wise spags embrace Chaos? They do not favor Order or Disorder. When the Philosopher rambles. Why should we choose one over the other? So when Authority tightens its fists one must learn to slip through the fingers. It hides in the Illusions of Order and Disorder. hit him with a barstool from this universe. Solid walls can break.

Become the faceless walking Glitch who makes everyone's day just a little bit stranger. while slipping firecrackers into their pockets. Don't escalate Disorder. . Being an attention whore is like a magnet for batons when the riots start. Walk through the crowd unnoticed. of course. Unless the situation demands it.Chapter 63 Don't impose Order. Learn to sabotage the Machine™ without getting caught. The wise spags don't seek recognition. and so leave a wake behind them wherever they go.

win. Therefore the wise spags learn all the rules. Let other people wave their flags and storm the riot shields. The wary and wise wear camouflage. You're not playing that game. The colorful and flashy get noticed. There is no way you can win at that. They create the Illusion that best fits their situation. and then write different games. and doing so.Chapter 64 Organized things cause Disorder. . Those game rules were written by Authority. A mindfuck of epic proportions only happens when no one notices the set-up. Disorganized things cry for Order. Most games are won when using misdirection.

Understanding the choices means you are not trapped in trite cliches about duality. Even in the darkest night. Those who think in terms of Either/Or are dangerous. Seeing the Illusions means understanding the choices. Even at noon. .Chapter 65 The wise spags have learned not to trust Absolutes. there is light. Knowing Chaos means seeing the Illusions. there are shadows. They cannot see Chaos.

Change the way you see the world.Chapter 66 Because Order and Disorder do not exist but are only self-created Illusions. It is unwise to put faith in Illusions). . it is futile to rage and wail against them. and create more useful Illusions. and the world will change for you (but do not think the world has changed. Save your rage for worthier goals.

Chapter 67 Chaos is quick to dispel fanatics. Uncertainty has a momentum of its own. Fuck what you "know" about Chaos. carelessness without humor: These things are heavy like Greyface's luggage. When you have no certainty you cannot remain willfully blind. which brings about questions. Certainty un-tempered by doubt. . direction without freedom. which births uncertainty. It gives rise to curiosity.

The best philosopher is an idiot. Universe isn't sweaty. This is known as the power of not striving. The best employer doesn't crack the whip. The best winner is a loser.Chapter 68 The best comedian is not funny. why should you be? .

Be subtle. Slip by their natural defenses. But not their rules. There are better ways to change someone's mind than by screaming at them. and plant seeds of doubt and confusion.Chapter 69 Someone who looks like an enemy will be treated like an enemy. and use your opponent's language. . because it was always there. A slowly growing tree will shatter a sidewalk and the concrete will not notice. An idea that confronts is an idea that will be rejected.

Especially this chapter. .Chapter 70 These teachings are stupid. It's probably the dumbest one.

Those that claim to know everything will fail.Chapter 71 It is wise to admit ignorance. they will not fail. Because they are willing to acknowledge failure. Usually. Those who are willing to accept new information adapt to their situation. .

but is not an actor. Therefore the wise spag acts. or their minds. Do not restrict people's freedoms. If you act like a tyrant. When people lack a sense of awe they cannot see what's awesome. not against. you will be treated like a tyrant. another Authority will descend. . The wise spags go around.Chapter 72 When people openly disobey Authority. or their bodies.

.Chapter 73 Those who embrace Disorder will breed Order. but by finding the Hidden Middle. Both of these ways are foolish. and deny one half of the Universe? Wise spags find the patterns. and embrace the whole Universe. and invent new game rules to trip up the Machine™. They change the world. They straddle the shifting line between True and False. Those who embrace Order will breed Disorder. Why would you embrace Illusion. not through Ideology.

. When you let the pieces fall where they may. Drop ambition and expectation and death will have nothing real to kill. someone else will pick them up. you will end up with nothing real. On the other hand.Chapter 74 When you realize that change is the only constant there is nothing left to fight.

The people do not take it for themselves. This is why we are all criminals. Only those who accept responsibility and seize their freedoms can change their stars. because Authority only gives people the Freedoms they are allowed. People do not care about responsibility because they gave it to Authority. Authority does not care about people because they are not responsible. Authority makes myriad rules because people do not follow them. .Chapter 75 People are not free following Authority.

Chapter 76
When born, we are close to Chaos. We simply experience, we have no names. Growing up, we learn how to make patterns and we are taught about Order and Disorder. Believing this to be reality, our minds and bodies become rigid, rather than flexible. And so are easy to break.

Chapter 77
Chaos is made up of all things. This is why it makes no distinctions. People are less than all things, so they see differences and put them in boxes. Because they are people, they lie to themselves from the day they open their eyes. Who are free from the chains of Illusion? Not even the wise spags, although they try. So the wise spags create their own Illusions, and do not admit perfect clarity. They know better than anyone else, the power of Illusion to blind the eye and deafen the ear.

Chapter 78
Those that impose Order soon find that they have increased Disorder. Those that escalate Disorder build the walls of Order in response. Those that laugh at these Illusions can overcome anything. Laughter cannot win wars, but it can win hearts. It can soften the rigid. It will make you drop your baggage. It can unite, it can multiply, it can do long division.

Chapter 79
A healthy body ebbs and flows with emotions. Only the sick are inflexible. Joy and hate must be experienced, and then let go. If you do not shit your hate, you will die. Who can live, retaining a colon full of hate? If you hold on to joy for too long, it will stagnate and fester. Life craves the new, regardless of its content. Only the dead cease changing.

unwise. They will be suspicious of outsiders just as they are with new ideas. They will rely on tradition as their guides. They are surely as dead as they can be. . or play. Their minds will be as stagnant as the pond where they dump their garbage. and not free. though they still draw breath. the people will be uncaring.Chapter 80 In a place where information is suppressed and curiosity stifled. They will not make observations. or try new things. or experiment.

Chapter 81 Words are not experiences. The Disorder around you has yet to find a pattern. . Now get out there and make something happen. Experiences have no words. These Orderly letters only approximate the spinning Chaos of life. Reading about Laughter is not the same as laughing.

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