The Chao te Ching

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Edited by Cramulus and LMNO With Contributions & Advice from Burns, Cain, Honey, Hoopla, Kai, Lies, Ratatosk, Requia, Roaring Biscuit, Telarus, and Triple Zero. Special Thanks to the community

BY CRAMULUS The Chao Te Ching was conceived at a tea party which took place on Mount Olympus' Limbo Peak. An ancient Chinese Chaosopher named Lao Tzu had been riding his bike through the mountains of the afterlife and somehow ended up crashing into Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and Aftermath. Lao Tzu was supposed to meet Confucius, who had just gotten the first season of Lost on DVD. Instead, he decided to hang out with this crazy Greek chick. The two of them talked for days. They had very similar ideas but approached them in different ways. Lao Tzu preferred to observe the universe through quiet contemplation, whereas Eris enjoyed tossing golden apples, watching everybody's colors come out as they scrambled for them. But they both believed the universe was essentially a pretty cool place, brimming with creativity and potential. "It's difficult to talk about things as big as Every Thing," said Lao Tzu as he sipped his tea. "But one thing I think we can agree on is that everything's got a natural ebb and flow to it. And that humans do well when they recognize that flow and go with it." "Yeah," said Eris, "But if everything is part of that flow, even going against it is part of it. And in fact, you need to go against it sometimes to move forward." "But what is there to go against?" asked the wrinkly fruit of a man. "When you have a story to make sense of the universe, that's order. When you don't, that's disorder. That's one of the things humans need to figure out, how to balance those two."

Meanwhile, on Earth, two spags called Cramulus and Alphapance were meditating on what it would be like if Eris hooked up with Lao Tzu. They had skeeved themselves out with the imagery of this hot ass Greek Goddess grinding on some desiccated Chinese dude and decided never to discuss it again. But they couldn't. They just kept talking about it and obsessing over it until they had to write it down. They were originally planning on publishing the manuscript as an erotic novel, but luckily Eris appeared in a flash of noise and simultaneously slapped both of them in the face. "You stupid spags," spake Eris, "Lao Tzu and I have been trying to inspire you for days, but you're too busy making dick jokes to notice." Then, much to Cramulus and Alphapance's disappointment, she transformed their wretched manuscript into the Chao Te Ching. "What is this garbage?" asked Cramulus as he flipped through it, "And what the hell is a 'wise spag'?" "A spag is an idiot, you spags," said Eris, "A wise spag is a spag that knows just what a spag he is." "Stop saying spag," said Alphapance, "please." Eris slapped him again. Then she vanished in a cloud of synthpop. "Okay, that was uncalled for," said Alphapance as he rubbed his cheek. "We're going to have to rewrite this ourselves." "Hah! We're going to totally bung it up!" laughed Cramulus. And they did.

if somewhat pedestrian. originally produced and distributed by hand. clearly. the Chao te Ching is an important contribution to Discordian thought. mostly as a reaction to the rigid cultural norms found in America at that time. it claimed that disorder was as important as order. namely a syntax which parodies Biblical verse. which brings us to the Chao te Ching. based upon present-day contexts and socio-economic-political realities. While the austere poetry of the original proved to be a boon when parsing down typically verbose philosophical rants about the nature of reality . a brief history of Discordianism: It was conceived as both a parody religion and a lighthearted philosophy in the late 1950's. In using a classic text such as this. First. summary can be found on Wikipedia. To further tweak their noses at the establishment. was eventually released as a publication in 1970. the authors were presented with a number of challenges. if you will) of a stylistic aspect found in the Prinicipia Discordia. A collection of collage. Currently. the authors of the Chao te Ching wished to use the structure of the Taoist classic the Tao te Ching as a literary framework as a way to present Discordian ideas in a new context. as well as setting down current extrapolations and reinterpretations of such. It distills and updates basic principles. The manner in which this book you are holding was written appears to be an adaptation (a "riff". satire.] Skip ahead forty years. As such. the idea of Discordianism still exists and has expanded. the authors chose a minor Greek deity "Eris" as their anthropomorphized symbol of worship.A NOT-AT-ALL FUNNY FOREWARD TO THE CHAO TE CHING BY DOKTOR ALPHAPANCE Regardless of the origins. as various adherents adopt and adapt the vague and often ill-defined concepts found in the original book into new outlooks on consensus reality. and metaphysics under the name Principia Discordia. [Note: a more complete. and to embrace the latter without the former was foolish.

This issue is dealt with through recursive lines and chapters in the Chao te Ching that contradict previous chapters. the authors have apparently coined new terms and metaphors not found in the Principia Discordia. on the other hand. "a philosophy inside a joke inside a religion inside of another joke. which lets the reader create their own translation of the Chao te Ching without fear of copyright violation. But all of this avoids the main question: Why was the Chao te Ching written? What purpose can it serve? In short. often calling even their own definitions into question. this entire work has been filed under a Non-Commercial Share Alike license.and authority. Not wanting the book to be an encyclopedia. . Discordians. Yin and Yang. and The Machine™. Taoism often presents the universe in two distinct parts. they can only allude to concepts like The Barstool. In addition. While the passages add up to fairly concise explanations. The authors actively encourage new translations. in order to keep Discordia alive and vibrant rather than unchanging and stagnant. often to the point of explicitly pointing out said contradictions." Most Discordians wouldn't even go so far as saying the Chao te Ching is a way to live your life – they want you to make up your own mind. it can only be assumed that the authors intend for the curious to hunt down and explore further texts which describe such concepts in more depth. do not usually hold to such strict duality. See. The Black Iron Prison. or perhaps clarification if all they have heard of Discordianism is that it's. In fact. it provides a perspective that may be unfamiliar to the casual reader. I told you this wouldn't be funny.

Well. this is the door to the essence of all life. Named. Nameless. it is the source of Order and Disorder.Chapter 1 The Universe that can be described is not the real Universe. These two are the same. sees that patterns do not exist. . sees every pattern. They both may be called Illusion.. but what is produced has names.. we pretty much covered that. yeah? Whoever is Disordered. Whoever is Ordered. The name that can be given is not an accurate name. From the comic to the tragic.

there arises the recognition of Disorder. And so are able to act again. Love and Hate fuck each other. Reality and Illusion trick each other. They organize. and stick their wrench into the Machine™. . They act. but they do not Order. there arises the idea of Reality. They break apart. Authority and Freedom define each other. Therefore Order and Disorder produce each other. but they Keep Their Fucking Mouths Shut.Chapter 2 When the people of the world all know Order as Order. but they do not Disorder. So the wise spags look for balance. When they know there is such a thing as Illusion.

you will understand others'. .Chapter 3 If you put value in subjective Bullshit. lesser spags will treat it like objective Truth. call people on their Bullshit so there will be no narcissism to exploit. Like hitting someone with a Barstool to prove that it actually exists. Therefore the wise spags lead by knowing their Prison and staying pragmatic. By understanding your Cell.

it positively negates. it arranges Disorder. . All of Starbuck's Pebbles come from it. It multiplies its opposite. You can't really observe Chaos. lining the world. just the consequences. that last one's not quite accurate. The origin of all patterns. It has existed before we observed it.Chapter 4 This is Chaos: it is everything. Ok. including itself. It confuses Order. Lying below life.

Chaos never ends! Even its vacuum has a presence. but also drops hammers. wear a helmet. . Even the wise spag gets punched. Anything could be a punchline. To struggle against it is like pissing in the wind.Chapter 5 Life is unfair. The wise spag wears a helmet.

then go read it again. . Sometimes Eris uses Order. The old texts say. some demand only humor as if Eris were a petty amusement. but some only see what they choose. Sometimes She works through you. and then wonder why their world collapses so easily. They liken the serious to the Grey. Sometimes She uses Disorder.Chapter 6 Chaos is beyond division." And yet. Sometimes the joke's on you. "If you think this is just a ha-ha.

you should probably still duck. It is as unfeeling and uncaring about itself as a Barstool in midflight: Even if you have convinced yourself it consists mainly of empty space. They see the bars of their Black Iron Prison and so are able to see around them. Because isn't the other way tantamount to masturbation? .Chapter 7 The Universe outside your Prison Cell has gone on before you. So the wise spags look outside their own brains and grasp the surrounding minds. and goes on after you.

they strive to complete the balance. Be the Illusion Eristic. or be it Aneristic. It balances the Order and the Disorder. It's not their fault that the Aneristic has no sense of humor.Chapter 8 The best are like the Chao. As they live. and as they travel. Each adds to the other. The escalation of Disorder. they see the world as others would see Illusion. . and the impositon of Order.

The Ancients do not want you to read their books. . and you will cut both friend and foe.Chapter 9 Write the longest. Who wants to ride a five thousand year old bike? You can get better advice from cats than from parodies of ancient wisdom. Temper the truth to its very sharpest. wisest essay and no one will have time to read it. They want you to ride their bikes.

without using your mind? To create and destroy with no sense of self. to lead without tyranny… Well. . it never hurts to try.Chapter 10 Can you laugh so hard that it sounds like screaming? Can you snicker like a jaded fogey while giggling like a newborn baby? Can you look with eyes that will actually see? Can you lead people without dominating them? Can you understand. to act without obligation.

nor reducing the pattern to scribbles. interpret. not staying constrained inside the lines. unraveled meanings. adapt or construe. We knew all along words don’t count. yet keep coming back to the very same thing. See what exists. Shaped words.Chapter 11 The Mandelbrot grows in infinite complexity based on the empty space at its center. The lines in a coloring book give the page form but crayons give it life. Knowledge is built on facts: A scaffolding to support ignorance. . use what does not. We stick apart and stay baffled. corrupt. The lens of the first microscope revealed fractillian ignorance.

nor the map with the territory. . The Cell walls we have built comfort us into ignorance. What is Heard diverts from what Can Not. Both are approximations. But the wise spag does not confuse the meal with the menu. What is Believed subverts what Should Not.Chapter 12 What is Seen distracts from what Is Not.

"Possessing" always comes served with a golden apple. .Chapter 13 Having and not having both create frustration. Being "The prettiest one" cultivates pride and makes others ugly. This way you can have it all with nothing to lose. Not being "The prettiest one" cultivates envy and leads to war. Expand your definition of Self to include the universe.

Run from it. it binds our choices. for we have built it. for it blinds us.Chapter 14 We cannot see it. . and you shall die tired. We do not know it exists. So the wise spag moves it. we forget it is there. but it is as immovable as Iron. Fight it. and sees a new sunrise every day. and there shall be no victory. for it deafens us. We cannot hear it. When not remembered. There is neither shape nor form. Because it is unnoticed. brick by brick. it is inescapable. When not seen.

a direction becomes clear. Can you still be moved to wonder. in that it cannot be understood. or are you too cynical? . Who can make sense of two contradicting Illusions? Do you know your ass from your elbow? Seeing through the spin. Adapting to the situation. the wise spag is not troubled. Attempting a jailbreak. which are piss-poor ways of communicating.Chapter 15 The wise spags understand Chaos. Amending the theory. they must use metaphors. Changing their filters. Preparing for aftermath. Surfing the waves of Chaos. Making their own luck. understanding grows. In this way. Because of that. the goals are realized.

then you can go everywhere. The body may die. then get stoned. To be open to everything is to be impartial. Return to the slack. If you can get slack from anywhere. a well-rounded renaissance. . To know eternity you must find slack. the chill. everything returns to the cool. The mind may lose it. When your work is over. then laugh. Whoever can find slack anywhere is open to everything.Chapter 16 Forget about everything and be cool. To act with no knowledge of slack is to bumble and court disaster. If laughter is your slack. You realize where you're going. If you can get slack from a stone. To return to slack is relaxing. If rage is your slack. then rage. the quiet. To know where you're going is to know eternity.

The wise spag accomplishes their task and keeps their mouth shut." they do not want to be given responsibility. . and will not be trusted. They want an Authority they agree with. so as not to get caught.Chapter 17 People who are asleep want Authority to make decisions. Authority lacks trust. They do not want to be told "no.

. the illusions of Order and Disorder arise. the Revolution is born. Religion and Politics marry. When the people surrender their responsibilities to Authority. When people Think for Themselves.Chapter 18 When Chaos is forgotten. Objectivity and Subjectivity become entwined. When the Black Iron Prison is ignored.

People will always be distracted by their imagination: Religion. the people will benefit. Morals. and there will be nothing to steal.Chapter 19 Abandon blind faith and pseudointellectual bullshit. Abandon intellectual copyright. Politics. Abandon absolute morality. . Territory. the people won't try to kill the Other.

People will over-think a problem. The people of the world know Sacred from Sinful. waiting for the next Observation. then reach a firm conclusion and move on to the next shiny object. I am unsure. . and seek more information. I ride the waves of Chaos where it takes me. How much difference is there between True and False? How much difference is there between Order and Disorder? Why should you care about what Most People care about? Is what people Believe really to be believed? Not fucking likely! The people know from Right and Wrong. Stop worrying so much about the world. and Illusions end. I see the Chaos in the patterns. as if they can see the Universe. expressionless as a newborn babe. punishing and praising throughout the day. I keep my thoughts alive and tucked in my head. I raise a challenge with "I Don't Know. Most People try to force Purpose into their life.Chapter 20 Abandon Reality. Most people try to see the pattern in the Chaos." and lay down to sleep undisturbed. Cool as the other side of the pillow.

From the moment we are born. But if the Chao is ineffable. not just Authority's version. Life is real. we Create the patterns of Illusion from which we ever after try and free ourselves. How can their mind be at one with it? Because they don't whine about minutiae.Chapter 21 The wise spags try keeping their minds at one with the Chao. How do I know of these Illusions? By observing Chaos. . and has the power of Creation. How can this help a spag think for themselves? Because they can choose immeasurable points of view. That is why they are able to think for themselves.

Each Machine™ has its self-destruct switch. Does not the old saying. Every human houses a monkey. Revolutions have Reactionaries as offspring. . In Hate. and avoid labels. In Order.Chapter 22 Newton's Third Law is no Illusion: Each thing contains its opposite. there is Love. "Think outside the box" imply that a box exists in the first place? There is no box. there is Disorder. So the wise spags stay on their toes.

The Machine™ contains more than is apparent. and fortune does not always smile. the jobs we create with our jobs. a good mood is often fleeting.Chapter 23 The Machine™ is built by our behaviors. Built by the expectations we create through our expectations. the action we create through our actions. nor a bad day lasts a lifetime. . the world we create with our world. Our unconscious desires. But as a traffic jam does not last all morning. our conscious schemes.

and so do not succeed. The Leader acts like a bully on the playground. The Scientist and the Priest believe in the model. Therefore the followers of Eris like to poke them with sticks.Chapter 24 The Grayface believes in Order. The General sees war. . The Anarchist believes in Disorder. All these things are balanced in Chaos. The Bureaucrat seeks control. The Celebrity sees themselves.

and unknowable in full. our heads are too fucking small. we reflect our creations.Chapter 25 There is Something that exists. At dinner parties. I point out that their head is too fucking small. we are more creative than Chaos. I call It "Chaos". When asked why not call It "god". beyond the Illusions of Order and Disorder. For lack of a better name. but are convinced what we see is the entire Universe. It is all things. . I claim It is everything Possible and Impossible. We only see small parts of It. Because we believe in the Illusions we create. In this way. Because we create the Illusions in which we live.

.Chapter 26 Serious is the root of hilarious. the straight man? Oh. I mean. really. I swear. you kids today.. The wise spag laughs all day without the need for jokes. . . and does not walk away when the Truth is not funny. Laughter can be very serious. Every Marx brother needs a Zeppo.Zeppo? You know.

The Machine™ cannot be stopped. A good sabateur leaves no evidence. This is called "Tweaking the Machine™". though their fingernails be black. party by party. So a wise spag knows how to blend in. Such things bring my palms to my face. The perfect prison cell looks like the environment. and takes their freedom once inside. A good artist leaves new questions. They understand the people around them. .Chapter 27 A good mindfuck leaves no reasons. Those who proclaim their individuality by following rebels are still grey. But you can gradually redesign it part by part. and know how to get things done. A nice tie opens many doors. A good barstool removes much idle speculation.

Some laugh through the horror. one must master seriousness. Some reel back in terror. This makes them poor victims. . To tell a bad joke with a straight face.Chapter 28 The news anchor is a comedian who delivers grim stand-up with a straight face. Some are numb. To live in a bad joke with a straight face one must master humor. The Discordian wears many masks.

The world is full of would-be superheroes and would-be supervillains. Some lead. and some whisper. and some laugh. Some win. and some follow. Some cry. . will get bent. some fail. The wise keeps their head down and let the cannon fodder do their jobs. Some shout.Chapter 29 Those that would take over the world and bend it to their will. Maybe the world would be better off without them.

. A mowhawk is as good as a target during Police Action. and then walk away. Getting away with it means staying away from it. but don't stick around to watch.Chapter 30 If you're going to do some Covert Ops in the name of Discordia. They mindfuck the people. and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut. If two people know a thing. The wise spags toss a wrench into the Machine™. but don't put it on the Internet. They subvert the paradigm. keep your head down. it is not a secret. They strike against Authority. but don't pat themselves on the back.

Wise spags speak of a jail break. The wise spags use the creative trip left. and lead by example by rattling their own chains. if being free is their intent. but have caged themselves. Those who oppose the freedom of others are not evil. and stay flexible. The symphony of rattling chains is neither noise nor music.Chapter 31 Being rigid makes a person easy to opress. They enter the idiot asylum with care and consideration as if crossing a battlefield or tiptoeing through a slumber party. It is the sound of the Chao and those who hear it. So be suspicious about them. . or the destructive trip right. Rules disguise suspicion. The wise spags will break them without drawing attention and will be rewarded with sovereignty. When freedom is in danger. there should be no rest.

And are free to create as they choose. Knowing when to stop. and Illusion slips into Chaos. When people create language. all the way down. It's Gödels. one should know when to stop. Therefore. With labels. Order and Disorder unite. labels begin. all definitions are incomplete.Chapter 32 Chaos cannot be labeled. the wise spags see the Illusion. . because it contains all labels.

Chapter 33 Those who question others are wise. . Those who accept through faith are blind. Those who reject the unproven are foolish. Those who questions themselves are enlightened. Those who revolt against the masses seek attention. Those who revolt against their own biases are brave.

Even that which is not there. It contains all things. But sometimes only a paradox can explain what's going on. It has no meta. it has no subjectivity.Chapter 34 Chaos embraces the Illusions of Order and Disorder. Because there is no Other. It does not judge. I know. . Fair enough. you're thinking that this is all one big. If all things that change are within it. then it does not change. for even thoughts outside Chaos are found within Chaos. fat intentional contradiction.

Chapter 35 The wise spag treats every day like a day off. But even that is an incomplete map. fall flat on your face. . so beware of believing it to be the territory. but still gets things done. Jump to conclusions. Everyone seeks the one who balances the Chao because within it lives every possibility. The Cabbage on the street may be starving. but the Chao on the menu will never taste like hamburger.

Well. When you know where you are. We create with the body. but amend with the mind. . People are frightened of new ideas because they feel invaded. you know what to defend. they are not frightened by the unknown. in the end. They must protect their territory.Chapter 36 Movement creates territory. The wise spags know their maps can only be changed by themselves. but we're all still monkeys. The maps in your head are extensions of yourself. Knowing this. they shouldn't be frightened. You should pay attention when your ideas get in someone's face.

Chapter 37 Every spag has limitations. yet can see through the bars and attempt another jailbreak. Yet some people will live their entire lives without ever encountering a stray thought. Some are in the mind. . and how to change them. Limitations in the mind are easier to change (but not by much). Limitations in the body are difficult to change. They are still in the Black Iron Prison. Some are in the body. So the wise spags know their limitations. These people do not know they are in Prison.

. When Absolutism encounters dissent. Freedom is lost. When Freedom is lost.Chapter 38 The sacred Chao includes both Order and Disorder. Therefore the wise spags never know. To emphasize the inside is to pollute the outside with a grid. Absolutism is born. When Authority arises. In the same way. forgetting that they go together plants the seed of a cabbage. and so are boundless. Therefore when doubt is lost. the wise spags create their own rules. Authority arises. Doubt allows people to see around corners. To emphasize the outside is to lose your center. While it's fun to toy with both. the Self includes the inside and the outside. and to peer above walls.

When spags try to order the Chao. supporting facts rise to the surface. . either. you can prove it. dingy. A confused mind cannot grasp it and cannot drop it. Words reduce the Chao. Words are angry & sterile.Chapter 39 Every spag's mind is a better artist than they can ever know. Each certainty has its own gravity that attracts the Illusions of Order. This is how we turn Order and Disorder into fractals of Illusion. the sky becomes dirty. If you can think it. For every conclusion they make.

Chapter 40 Incomprehensible Totality is the nature of Chaos. The absence of Illusion is the state of Chaos. . For the record. "Incomprehensible Totality" is fairly incomprehensible. All spags in the world create their own Illusions. and then spend the rest of their lives bound by them.

and decide it means they should get high and doodle. and plot against the Machine™. Mirth appears uncaring. . Disorder appears unsettling and unstable. the path is clear. but with its heart in Chaos. Doubt appears ignorant. All these are lies. Some hear about Discordia. Discordia wouldn't be as interesting as it is.Chapter 41 Some hear about Discordia. Some hear about Discordia. Order appears calming and sensible. Uncertainty reveals itself as a narrow footbridge. Certainty appears true. and think about it at great length. Aggression appears confident. Horror appears powerless. If it weren't for those spags.

What others teach. . which is Three. I teach as well: "And this." That's the first thing you need to know. All things contain Order and Disorder. Sometimes. The Two produce Confusion. depending on how you look at it. shall pass.Chapter 42 Chaos is One. too. And Confusion produced everything else. Order and Disorder are Two. People hate when someone is being an asshole. but their leaders are all assholes. things that fall apart are helpful.

We only perceive sensations. and with a simple application of F=ma refute their argument.Chapter 43 When discussing "Reality. Matter is made up mostly of empty space. . The wise spags heft a barstool. Everything could be a hallucination." the Professor and the Poet speak loftily about how things are figments. feel solid wood in their hands.

Those who embrace both are free to choose which is more effective. which do you choose? Those who chase one are led to the other. The only thing is. which do you prefer? Creation or Destruction. can you be sure which is which? .Chapter 44 Order or Disorder.

What "works" in the real world is correct. Only later does it infect the mind.Chapter 45 The greatest mindfuck seems normal. The best argument seems specious. The greatest Order seems random. but a flaw cannot be found. The greatest Disorder appears stable. . The Barstool crashes through castles built on clouds. Just as the Zen master's staff strikes to cease thought.

. the Machine™ grinds them into grist. When people misunderstand Chaos.Chapter 46 When people understand Chaos. The greatest motivator of Order is Disorder. Whoever can embrace both will see for miles. The greatest cause of Disorder is Order. they live their lives as they please.

the less you will understand what restricts you. . and constantly ask for directions.Chapter 47 You can't view the Universe without one map or another. The more you insist you are not in Prison. Therefore the wise spags wander through the world in doubt. Glimpses outside your Cell are obscured by the bars.

then turning one into the other is simple as changing your mind.Chapter 48 If Order and Disorder are illusions. . *Please note that changing your mind is not simple. furrow our brows and plug away at life. Meanwhile.* But we tense our muscles. our Lady laughs at the silly Cabbages trying too hard to be spontaneous.

. This is the freedom of limitations. "there is no box". They see beyond True and False. This is what is meant by. They understand that a spag who does not see their Cell is eternally trapped by it. They recognize a Maybe. The wise spags see more of the Universe by understanding how little of it they see.Chapter 49 The wise have more than two options.

How did this happen? Because the mind held one side too strongly. How is this possible? By seeing all possibilities as valid. Whether or not they are probable is an entirely different matter. . It's said that those who are curious explore myriad aspects of life without judgment and in arguments are not affected by fallacy. but the losses come swiftly. The ways to lose look distant. the ways to win seem clear.Chapter 50 Coming to an argument. all while staying true to their goal. They can identify the pitfalls and recognize valid points.

your head high like a cosmic shmuck. When you walk with total certainty. When a shmuck slips. . be open to change. be honest. and bold enough to be the butt of the joke. don't take yourself seriously. And.Chapter 51 If you want to be serious. Eris showed them what they did not perceive. you are vulnerable to the old banana peel shtick. it was funny. their face becomes red with embarrassment.

Come to solid conclusions.Chapter 52 The unity of the Chao shattered into everything else. Declaring stupidity is clever. That which can be understood can be useful. have unwavering Faith. Those who understand Chaos can understand the rest. seek them out. This is Thinking for Yourself. and then you'll know what needs filling. . Look for the gaps. Embrace doubt. and nothing will make sense. reserve judgment. and knowledge will flow like water. Admitting ignorance is wise.

" When the holy man thumps his scripture.Chapter 53 Even those who partially understand admit they do not know everything. the people embrace Faith over Facts. When Authority bangs the podium. the people say. What is unknown is vast. right or wrong. They have given up their humanity. . but people enjoy blinding themselves. "my country. So some people revel in their abandonment of responsibility. This is fucking stupid.

To follow their rules. and how to navigate between them.Chapter 54 Our society is firmly held and steered by deeply ingrained and arbitrary rules. unless they appear to be playing along. To belong to the group. . which come from others. When you abandon responsibility. you destroy the Self. and seek out new groups. you must abandon responsibility. you must follow their rules. Those who choose to play a different game are usually trampled underfoot. Therefore the wise spags choose responsibly. They know which rules are their own.

To know Chaos is to always be in doubt. Whatever is monolithic will fall. The first errant bit of evidence will cause a collapse. They can wear ideas like masks. but color inside the lines when they must. knowing no boundaries. . They can freely create. To know doubt is to always seek an answer. Order does not placate them. To decide you're right before getting the facts is foolish. and are not bound by chains of Faith. To try and force Truth is dangerous. They see around the bars of their Cell. Disorder does not trouble them.Chapter 55 Those who understand Chaos can pierce any illusion. but remove them at will. and always look just a little bit further.

also create. also destroy. Do you believe that? . Disorder. and Destruction. Those who destroy. Creation. Those believing them can do anything. These are all lies. Study the sixteen forms of Order.Chapter 56 Those that create. Those who disbelieve are fools.

Wars are waged by pandering to fears." . try to be the one making the speech. Show them what they fear. and they will follow. and they will act like monkeys. The world can be won by joining opposites: Tell people what they want to hear. they will call you just. Relieve them of their responsibilities. Therefore. the wise spags say. but listen instead to what the audience is hearing.Chapter 57 Authority rules through miscommunication. And if at all possible. "Pay no attention to the speeches of Authority. Make them think like apes. they will call you wise.

people become angry. people become nervous. . but at others' expense. When Authority allows Freedom. Therefore the wise spags disrupt Order. but only to justify their actions. The people want Freedom. and organize Freedom.Chapter 58 When Authority imposes Order. To allow for mistakes means accepting mistakes. The people want Order. and freely create their Illusions. To enforce Order ensures future punishment.

it's hilarious. and do never resort to. the thermodynamics of discourse. but power inhibits communication. Action creates resistance. Listen to the will of the people. those that try to impose Order become mired in disarray. . These are social laws of motion.Chapter 59 Status gives power. Talk to people who disagree. Eventually. It's not personal. Seek information from opposing sides. "Because I said so. but they are not fools. Those who would undermine you are a part of what you do." The people may be foolish. Do not keep things concealed. but also to the well-informed.

Chapter 60 A good leader is like an orchestra conductor. that create the rich texture. And so Order and Disorder combine to create beauty. he tries organize them. a good leader knows that it is the individual differences working together. The more careful and precise he is. the more harmonious the performance. He is given a set of rules that the people should follow. However. . By flapping his arms. yet independent.

while the crab grass creeps unharmed. arriving from nowhere. instead. . If all you want to do is brag about how cool you are. Thus by concentrating on goals without playing ego games. and fading into nothingness.Chapter 61 A successful cabal is like a dust cloud. you might want learn to play the guitar. ungraspable. Keep your fucking mouth shut. The tallest blade of grass gets cut. much can be accomplished. Keep your head down.

. Solid walls can break.Chapter 62 Chaos is contained in all things. When the Philosopher rambles. Behind them lies Chaos. hit him with a barstool from this universe. Scattered stones can tell a story. Why should we choose one over the other? So when Authority tightens its fists one must learn to slip through the fingers. It hides in the Illusions of Order and Disorder. Both Order and Disorder are windows. How do the wise spags embrace Chaos? They do not favor Order or Disorder.

and so leave a wake behind them wherever they go. .Chapter 63 Don't impose Order. Don't escalate Disorder. of course. Being an attention whore is like a magnet for batons when the riots start. Learn to sabotage the Machine™ without getting caught. Unless the situation demands it. Become the faceless walking Glitch who makes everyone's day just a little bit stranger. The wise spags don't seek recognition. Walk through the crowd unnoticed. while slipping firecrackers into their pockets.

Let other people wave their flags and storm the riot shields. win. They create the Illusion that best fits their situation. The wary and wise wear camouflage. The colorful and flashy get noticed. There is no way you can win at that. Those game rules were written by Authority. and then write different games. You're not playing that game. Disorganized things cry for Order. Therefore the wise spags learn all the rules. Most games are won when using misdirection. and doing so. A mindfuck of epic proportions only happens when no one notices the set-up.Chapter 64 Organized things cause Disorder. .

Understanding the choices means you are not trapped in trite cliches about duality. Those who think in terms of Either/Or are dangerous. Even at noon. Seeing the Illusions means understanding the choices. . Even in the darkest night. They cannot see Chaos.Chapter 65 The wise spags have learned not to trust Absolutes. there are shadows. there is light. Knowing Chaos means seeing the Illusions.

It is unwise to put faith in Illusions).Chapter 66 Because Order and Disorder do not exist but are only self-created Illusions. Save your rage for worthier goals. and the world will change for you (but do not think the world has changed. and create more useful Illusions. it is futile to rage and wail against them. Change the way you see the world. .

Certainty un-tempered by doubt.Chapter 67 Chaos is quick to dispel fanatics. . which births uncertainty. Uncertainty has a momentum of its own. When you have no certainty you cannot remain willfully blind. direction without freedom. carelessness without humor: These things are heavy like Greyface's luggage. It gives rise to curiosity. Fuck what you "know" about Chaos. which brings about questions.

The best winner is a loser.Chapter 68 The best comedian is not funny. The best philosopher is an idiot. why should you be? . Universe isn't sweaty. The best employer doesn't crack the whip. This is known as the power of not striving.

. A slowly growing tree will shatter a sidewalk and the concrete will not notice.Chapter 69 Someone who looks like an enemy will be treated like an enemy. because it was always there. There are better ways to change someone's mind than by screaming at them. Slip by their natural defenses. But not their rules. and use your opponent's language. and plant seeds of doubt and confusion. Be subtle. An idea that confronts is an idea that will be rejected.

Especially this chapter. .Chapter 70 These teachings are stupid. It's probably the dumbest one.

they will not fail.Chapter 71 It is wise to admit ignorance. Those who are willing to accept new information adapt to their situation. . Those that claim to know everything will fail. Usually. Because they are willing to acknowledge failure.

When people lack a sense of awe they cannot see what's awesome. Therefore the wise spag acts. . another Authority will descend. or their bodies. The wise spags go around. but is not an actor. or their minds. If you act like a tyrant. not against.Chapter 72 When people openly disobey Authority. you will be treated like a tyrant. Do not restrict people's freedoms.

and embrace the whole Universe.Chapter 73 Those who embrace Disorder will breed Order. Those who embrace Order will breed Disorder. but by finding the Hidden Middle. Why would you embrace Illusion. They change the world. and deny one half of the Universe? Wise spags find the patterns. . Both of these ways are foolish. They straddle the shifting line between True and False. and invent new game rules to trip up the Machine™. not through Ideology.

When you let the pieces fall where they may. you will end up with nothing real. . Drop ambition and expectation and death will have nothing real to kill. someone else will pick them up.Chapter 74 When you realize that change is the only constant there is nothing left to fight. On the other hand.

Chapter 75 People are not free following Authority. The people do not take it for themselves. . People do not care about responsibility because they gave it to Authority. Authority does not care about people because they are not responsible. This is why we are all criminals. Only those who accept responsibility and seize their freedoms can change their stars. because Authority only gives people the Freedoms they are allowed. Authority makes myriad rules because people do not follow them.

Chapter 76
When born, we are close to Chaos. We simply experience, we have no names. Growing up, we learn how to make patterns and we are taught about Order and Disorder. Believing this to be reality, our minds and bodies become rigid, rather than flexible. And so are easy to break.

Chapter 77
Chaos is made up of all things. This is why it makes no distinctions. People are less than all things, so they see differences and put them in boxes. Because they are people, they lie to themselves from the day they open their eyes. Who are free from the chains of Illusion? Not even the wise spags, although they try. So the wise spags create their own Illusions, and do not admit perfect clarity. They know better than anyone else, the power of Illusion to blind the eye and deafen the ear.

Chapter 78
Those that impose Order soon find that they have increased Disorder. Those that escalate Disorder build the walls of Order in response. Those that laugh at these Illusions can overcome anything. Laughter cannot win wars, but it can win hearts. It can soften the rigid. It will make you drop your baggage. It can unite, it can multiply, it can do long division.

Chapter 79
A healthy body ebbs and flows with emotions. Only the sick are inflexible. Joy and hate must be experienced, and then let go. If you do not shit your hate, you will die. Who can live, retaining a colon full of hate? If you hold on to joy for too long, it will stagnate and fester. Life craves the new, regardless of its content. Only the dead cease changing.

Their minds will be as stagnant as the pond where they dump their garbage. though they still draw breath. They will rely on tradition as their guides. unwise. or try new things. . They are surely as dead as they can be. or experiment. and not free. the people will be uncaring. They will be suspicious of outsiders just as they are with new ideas.Chapter 80 In a place where information is suppressed and curiosity stifled. They will not make observations. or play.

The Disorder around you has yet to find a pattern. Reading about Laughter is not the same as laughing. Now get out there and make something happen. . Experiences have no words. These Orderly letters only approximate the spinning Chaos of life.Chapter 81 Words are not experiences.

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