The Chao te Ching

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Edited by Cramulus and LMNO With Contributions & Advice from Burns, Cain, Honey, Hoopla, Kai, Lies, Ratatosk, Requia, Roaring Biscuit, Telarus, and Triple Zero. Special Thanks to the community

BY CRAMULUS The Chao Te Ching was conceived at a tea party which took place on Mount Olympus' Limbo Peak. An ancient Chinese Chaosopher named Lao Tzu had been riding his bike through the mountains of the afterlife and somehow ended up crashing into Eris, the Greek Goddess of Chaos, Discord, Confusion, Bureaucracy, and Aftermath. Lao Tzu was supposed to meet Confucius, who had just gotten the first season of Lost on DVD. Instead, he decided to hang out with this crazy Greek chick. The two of them talked for days. They had very similar ideas but approached them in different ways. Lao Tzu preferred to observe the universe through quiet contemplation, whereas Eris enjoyed tossing golden apples, watching everybody's colors come out as they scrambled for them. But they both believed the universe was essentially a pretty cool place, brimming with creativity and potential. "It's difficult to talk about things as big as Every Thing," said Lao Tzu as he sipped his tea. "But one thing I think we can agree on is that everything's got a natural ebb and flow to it. And that humans do well when they recognize that flow and go with it." "Yeah," said Eris, "But if everything is part of that flow, even going against it is part of it. And in fact, you need to go against it sometimes to move forward." "But what is there to go against?" asked the wrinkly fruit of a man. "When you have a story to make sense of the universe, that's order. When you don't, that's disorder. That's one of the things humans need to figure out, how to balance those two."

Meanwhile, on Earth, two spags called Cramulus and Alphapance were meditating on what it would be like if Eris hooked up with Lao Tzu. They had skeeved themselves out with the imagery of this hot ass Greek Goddess grinding on some desiccated Chinese dude and decided never to discuss it again. But they couldn't. They just kept talking about it and obsessing over it until they had to write it down. They were originally planning on publishing the manuscript as an erotic novel, but luckily Eris appeared in a flash of noise and simultaneously slapped both of them in the face. "You stupid spags," spake Eris, "Lao Tzu and I have been trying to inspire you for days, but you're too busy making dick jokes to notice." Then, much to Cramulus and Alphapance's disappointment, she transformed their wretched manuscript into the Chao Te Ching. "What is this garbage?" asked Cramulus as he flipped through it, "And what the hell is a 'wise spag'?" "A spag is an idiot, you spags," said Eris, "A wise spag is a spag that knows just what a spag he is." "Stop saying spag," said Alphapance, "please." Eris slapped him again. Then she vanished in a cloud of synthpop. "Okay, that was uncalled for," said Alphapance as he rubbed his cheek. "We're going to have to rewrite this ourselves." "Hah! We're going to totally bung it up!" laughed Cramulus. And they did.

namely a syntax which parodies Biblical verse. the authors chose a minor Greek deity "Eris" as their anthropomorphized symbol of worship.] Skip ahead forty years. A collection of collage. the idea of Discordianism still exists and has expanded. the Chao te Ching is an important contribution to Discordian thought. satire. While the austere poetry of the original proved to be a boon when parsing down typically verbose philosophical rants about the nature of reality .A NOT-AT-ALL FUNNY FOREWARD TO THE CHAO TE CHING BY DOKTOR ALPHAPANCE Regardless of the origins. based upon present-day contexts and socio-economic-political realities. the authors of the Chao te Ching wished to use the structure of the Taoist classic the Tao te Ching as a literary framework as a way to present Discordian ideas in a new context. The manner in which this book you are holding was written appears to be an adaptation (a "riff". As such. the authors were presented with a number of challenges. To further tweak their noses at the establishment. as well as setting down current extrapolations and reinterpretations of such. originally produced and distributed by hand. Currently. and to embrace the latter without the former was foolish. summary can be found on Wikipedia. In using a classic text such as this. It distills and updates basic principles. as various adherents adopt and adapt the vague and often ill-defined concepts found in the original book into new outlooks on consensus reality. [Note: a more complete. it claimed that disorder was as important as order. was eventually released as a publication in 1970. if somewhat pedestrian. and metaphysics under the name Principia Discordia. a brief history of Discordianism: It was conceived as both a parody religion and a lighthearted philosophy in the late 1950's. First. if you will) of a stylistic aspect found in the Prinicipia Discordia. which brings us to the Chao te Ching. clearly. mostly as a reaction to the rigid cultural norms found in America at that time.

The Black Iron Prison.and authority. or perhaps clarification if all they have heard of Discordianism is that it's. The authors actively encourage new translations. the authors have apparently coined new terms and metaphors not found in the Principia Discordia. this entire work has been filed under a Non-Commercial Share Alike license. While the passages add up to fairly concise explanations. In fact." Most Discordians wouldn't even go so far as saying the Chao te Ching is a way to live your life – they want you to make up your own mind. This issue is dealt with through recursive lines and chapters in the Chao te Ching that contradict previous chapters. Not wanting the book to be an encyclopedia. . often to the point of explicitly pointing out said contradictions. "a philosophy inside a joke inside a religion inside of another joke. it can only be assumed that the authors intend for the curious to hunt down and explore further texts which describe such concepts in more depth. on the other hand. do not usually hold to such strict duality. In addition. they can only allude to concepts like The Barstool. and The Machine™. in order to keep Discordia alive and vibrant rather than unchanging and stagnant. I told you this wouldn't be funny. Taoism often presents the universe in two distinct parts. Yin and Yang. which lets the reader create their own translation of the Chao te Ching without fear of copyright violation. often calling even their own definitions into question. it provides a perspective that may be unfamiliar to the casual reader. See. Discordians. But all of this avoids the main question: Why was the Chao te Ching written? What purpose can it serve? In short.

sees every pattern. .. sees that patterns do not exist. yeah? Whoever is Disordered. this is the door to the essence of all life. Whoever is Ordered. The name that can be given is not an accurate name. we pretty much covered that. Named. These two are the same. but what is produced has names. it is the source of Order and Disorder.Chapter 1 The Universe that can be described is not the real Universe.. Well. Nameless. They both may be called Illusion. From the comic to the tragic.

When they know there is such a thing as Illusion. They act. They organize. They break apart. . Authority and Freedom define each other. but they do not Order.Chapter 2 When the people of the world all know Order as Order. Reality and Illusion trick each other. but they do not Disorder. And so are able to act again. So the wise spags look for balance. there arises the idea of Reality. Therefore Order and Disorder produce each other. there arises the recognition of Disorder. but they Keep Their Fucking Mouths Shut. and stick their wrench into the Machine™. Love and Hate fuck each other.

Chapter 3 If you put value in subjective Bullshit. Like hitting someone with a Barstool to prove that it actually exists. lesser spags will treat it like objective Truth. you will understand others'. . call people on their Bullshit so there will be no narcissism to exploit. Therefore the wise spags lead by knowing their Prison and staying pragmatic. By understanding your Cell.

Ok. it arranges Disorder. it positively negates. All of Starbuck's Pebbles come from it. It has existed before we observed it. just the consequences. that last one's not quite accurate. It multiplies its opposite. lining the world. including itself. You can't really observe Chaos. It confuses Order. Lying below life.Chapter 4 This is Chaos: it is everything. . The origin of all patterns.

. Even the wise spag gets punched. but also drops hammers. Anything could be a punchline. To struggle against it is like pissing in the wind. The wise spag wears a helmet. wear a helmet. Chaos never ends! Even its vacuum has a presence.Chapter 5 Life is unfair.

Chapter 6 Chaos is beyond division. . "If you think this is just a ha-ha. some demand only humor as if Eris were a petty amusement." And yet. Sometimes Eris uses Order. Sometimes the joke's on you. and then wonder why their world collapses so easily. Sometimes She works through you. then go read it again. but some only see what they choose. The old texts say. They liken the serious to the Grey. Sometimes She uses Disorder.

It is as unfeeling and uncaring about itself as a Barstool in midflight: Even if you have convinced yourself it consists mainly of empty space.Chapter 7 The Universe outside your Prison Cell has gone on before you. and goes on after you. They see the bars of their Black Iron Prison and so are able to see around them. So the wise spags look outside their own brains and grasp the surrounding minds. Because isn't the other way tantamount to masturbation? . you should probably still duck.

Each adds to the other. As they live. . Be the Illusion Eristic. The escalation of Disorder. It's not their fault that the Aneristic has no sense of humor.Chapter 8 The best are like the Chao. or be it Aneristic. and the impositon of Order. they strive to complete the balance. they see the world as others would see Illusion. and as they travel. It balances the Order and the Disorder.

The Ancients do not want you to read their books. .Chapter 9 Write the longest. Who wants to ride a five thousand year old bike? You can get better advice from cats than from parodies of ancient wisdom. and you will cut both friend and foe. wisest essay and no one will have time to read it. They want you to ride their bikes. Temper the truth to its very sharpest.

it never hurts to try. . to lead without tyranny… Well.Chapter 10 Can you laugh so hard that it sounds like screaming? Can you snicker like a jaded fogey while giggling like a newborn baby? Can you look with eyes that will actually see? Can you lead people without dominating them? Can you understand. to act without obligation. without using your mind? To create and destroy with no sense of self.

nor reducing the pattern to scribbles. yet keep coming back to the very same thing. See what exists. adapt or construe. unraveled meanings. The lens of the first microscope revealed fractillian ignorance. use what does not. We stick apart and stay baffled. interpret. Knowledge is built on facts: A scaffolding to support ignorance. corrupt. not staying constrained inside the lines. The lines in a coloring book give the page form but crayons give it life. We knew all along words don’t count.Chapter 11 The Mandelbrot grows in infinite complexity based on the empty space at its center. Shaped words. .

Both are approximations. What is Heard diverts from what Can Not. . But the wise spag does not confuse the meal with the menu. What is Believed subverts what Should Not.Chapter 12 What is Seen distracts from what Is Not. nor the map with the territory. The Cell walls we have built comfort us into ignorance.

Expand your definition of Self to include the universe. Being "The prettiest one" cultivates pride and makes others ugly. . Not being "The prettiest one" cultivates envy and leads to war.Chapter 13 Having and not having both create frustration. This way you can have it all with nothing to lose. "Possessing" always comes served with a golden apple.

it is inescapable. When not remembered. brick by brick. and there shall be no victory. There is neither shape nor form. it binds our choices. When not seen. Because it is unnoticed. and sees a new sunrise every day. for we have built it.Chapter 14 We cannot see it. Fight it. and you shall die tired. for it deafens us. We cannot hear it. for it blinds us. Run from it. So the wise spag moves it. we forget it is there. . We do not know it exists. but it is as immovable as Iron.

Making their own luck. the wise spag is not troubled. in that it cannot be understood. or are you too cynical? . understanding grows. Preparing for aftermath. Can you still be moved to wonder. Attempting a jailbreak. the goals are realized. Who can make sense of two contradicting Illusions? Do you know your ass from your elbow? Seeing through the spin. they must use metaphors. Because of that. Amending the theory.Chapter 15 The wise spags understand Chaos. which are piss-poor ways of communicating. Changing their filters. Surfing the waves of Chaos. a direction becomes clear. In this way. Adapting to the situation.

When your work is over. To be open to everything is to be impartial. If rage is your slack. The body may die. . If laughter is your slack. the chill. To return to slack is relaxing. everything returns to the cool. If you can get slack from anywhere. To know eternity you must find slack. then laugh. Return to the slack. the quiet. If you can get slack from a stone. To know where you're going is to know eternity. a well-rounded renaissance. then rage.Chapter 16 Forget about everything and be cool. then get stoned. Whoever can find slack anywhere is open to everything. The mind may lose it. You realize where you're going. To act with no knowledge of slack is to bumble and court disaster. then you can go everywhere.

so as not to get caught. Authority lacks trust. . and will not be trusted. They want an Authority they agree with." they do not want to be given responsibility. They do not want to be told "no. The wise spag accomplishes their task and keeps their mouth shut.Chapter 17 People who are asleep want Authority to make decisions.

the illusions of Order and Disorder arise. When the people surrender their responsibilities to Authority. Objectivity and Subjectivity become entwined. the Revolution is born. When the Black Iron Prison is ignored. .Chapter 18 When Chaos is forgotten. When people Think for Themselves. Religion and Politics marry.

Territory. Politics. the people won't try to kill the Other.Chapter 19 Abandon blind faith and pseudointellectual bullshit. the people will benefit. Abandon intellectual copyright. People will always be distracted by their imagination: Religion. Morals. . Abandon absolute morality. and there will be nothing to steal.

. I keep my thoughts alive and tucked in my head. Cool as the other side of the pillow. I raise a challenge with "I Don't Know. Most people try to see the pattern in the Chaos. Stop worrying so much about the world. and Illusions end. I am unsure. I ride the waves of Chaos where it takes me. The people of the world know Sacred from Sinful. I see the Chaos in the patterns." and lay down to sleep undisturbed. expressionless as a newborn babe. Most People try to force Purpose into their life. and seek more information. How much difference is there between True and False? How much difference is there between Order and Disorder? Why should you care about what Most People care about? Is what people Believe really to be believed? Not fucking likely! The people know from Right and Wrong. waiting for the next Observation. People will over-think a problem. as if they can see the Universe.Chapter 20 Abandon Reality. punishing and praising throughout the day. then reach a firm conclusion and move on to the next shiny object.

not just Authority's version. . That is why they are able to think for themselves.Chapter 21 The wise spags try keeping their minds at one with the Chao. But if the Chao is ineffable. we Create the patterns of Illusion from which we ever after try and free ourselves. How can this help a spag think for themselves? Because they can choose immeasurable points of view. From the moment we are born. and has the power of Creation. Life is real. How do I know of these Illusions? By observing Chaos. How can their mind be at one with it? Because they don't whine about minutiae.

Revolutions have Reactionaries as offspring. Every human houses a monkey.Chapter 22 Newton's Third Law is no Illusion: Each thing contains its opposite. and avoid labels. So the wise spags stay on their toes. Does not the old saying. In Hate. "Think outside the box" imply that a box exists in the first place? There is no box. there is Love. Each Machine™ has its self-destruct switch. In Order. . there is Disorder.

the jobs we create with our jobs. nor a bad day lasts a lifetime.Chapter 23 The Machine™ is built by our behaviors. the action we create through our actions. Our unconscious desires. a good mood is often fleeting. The Machine™ contains more than is apparent. Built by the expectations we create through our expectations. and fortune does not always smile. our conscious schemes. But as a traffic jam does not last all morning. the world we create with our world. .

The General sees war. The Anarchist believes in Disorder. The Celebrity sees themselves. The Scientist and the Priest believe in the model. The Bureaucrat seeks control. . All these things are balanced in Chaos. Therefore the followers of Eris like to poke them with sticks. The Leader acts like a bully on the playground. and so do not succeed.Chapter 24 The Grayface believes in Order.

we reflect our creations. In this way. we are more creative than Chaos. and unknowable in full. beyond the Illusions of Order and Disorder. When asked why not call It "god". but are convinced what we see is the entire Universe. Because we believe in the Illusions we create. For lack of a better name. We only see small parts of It. I call It "Chaos". I claim It is everything Possible and Impossible. I point out that their head is too fucking small. Because we create the Illusions in which we live. It is all things.Chapter 25 There is Something that exists. . our heads are too fucking small. At dinner parties.

and does not walk away when the Truth is not funny. you kids today. I swear. Every Marx brother needs a Zeppo... . I mean.Zeppo? You know.Chapter 26 Serious is the root of hilarious. Laughter can be very serious. the straight man? Oh. The wise spag laughs all day without the need for jokes. really. .

This is called "Tweaking the Machine™". The Machine™ cannot be stopped. They understand the people around them. and takes their freedom once inside. Such things bring my palms to my face. party by party.Chapter 27 A good mindfuck leaves no reasons. A good barstool removes much idle speculation. Those who proclaim their individuality by following rebels are still grey. The perfect prison cell looks like the environment. though their fingernails be black. A good artist leaves new questions. . So a wise spag knows how to blend in. But you can gradually redesign it part by part. A good sabateur leaves no evidence. and know how to get things done. A nice tie opens many doors.

Some laugh through the horror. To tell a bad joke with a straight face. Some reel back in terror. Some are numb. . This makes them poor victims. one must master seriousness. To live in a bad joke with a straight face one must master humor.Chapter 28 The news anchor is a comedian who delivers grim stand-up with a straight face. The Discordian wears many masks.

The wise keeps their head down and let the cannon fodder do their jobs. Some cry. Some lead. Maybe the world would be better off without them.Chapter 29 Those that would take over the world and bend it to their will. Some shout. The world is full of would-be superheroes and would-be supervillains. some fail. and some whisper. Some win. will get bent. . and some laugh. and some follow.

Chapter 30 If you're going to do some Covert Ops in the name of Discordia. If two people know a thing. and Keep Your Fucking Mouth Shut. They mindfuck the people. They subvert the paradigm. Getting away with it means staying away from it. it is not a secret. but don't put it on the Internet. keep your head down. The wise spags toss a wrench into the Machine™. They strike against Authority. . but don't stick around to watch. A mowhawk is as good as a target during Police Action. and then walk away. but don't pat themselves on the back.

if being free is their intent. So be suspicious about them.Chapter 31 Being rigid makes a person easy to opress. The symphony of rattling chains is neither noise nor music. The wise spags will break them without drawing attention and will be rewarded with sovereignty. and lead by example by rattling their own chains. The wise spags use the creative trip left. Wise spags speak of a jail break. It is the sound of the Chao and those who hear it. When freedom is in danger. or the destructive trip right. They enter the idiot asylum with care and consideration as if crossing a battlefield or tiptoeing through a slumber party. but have caged themselves. there should be no rest. Rules disguise suspicion. Those who oppose the freedom of others are not evil. and stay flexible. .

the wise spags see the Illusion. one should know when to stop. all definitions are incomplete. all the way down. because it contains all labels. . And are free to create as they choose. labels begin. It's Gödels. When people create language. Order and Disorder unite.Chapter 32 Chaos cannot be labeled. and Illusion slips into Chaos. Therefore. Knowing when to stop. With labels.

Those who questions themselves are enlightened.Chapter 33 Those who question others are wise. . Those who accept through faith are blind. Those who revolt against their own biases are brave. Those who revolt against the masses seek attention. Those who reject the unproven are foolish.

. But sometimes only a paradox can explain what's going on. Even that which is not there. It contains all things. Fair enough. fat intentional contradiction. for even thoughts outside Chaos are found within Chaos.Chapter 34 Chaos embraces the Illusions of Order and Disorder. then it does not change. If all things that change are within it. Because there is no Other. I know. It does not judge. it has no subjectivity. It has no meta. you're thinking that this is all one big.

Everyone seeks the one who balances the Chao because within it lives every possibility. but still gets things done. so beware of believing it to be the territory. fall flat on your face. Jump to conclusions. But even that is an incomplete map. but the Chao on the menu will never taste like hamburger. .Chapter 35 The wise spag treats every day like a day off. The Cabbage on the street may be starving.

When you know where you are. People are frightened of new ideas because they feel invaded. but we're all still monkeys. you know what to defend. The maps in your head are extensions of yourself. . they are not frightened by the unknown. They must protect their territory. Knowing this. but amend with the mind. Well. You should pay attention when your ideas get in someone's face. We create with the body. they shouldn't be frightened. The wise spags know their maps can only be changed by themselves. in the end.Chapter 36 Movement creates territory.

. Limitations in the mind are easier to change (but not by much). and how to change them. They are still in the Black Iron Prison. So the wise spags know their limitations.Chapter 37 Every spag has limitations. These people do not know they are in Prison. Some are in the mind. Limitations in the body are difficult to change. Yet some people will live their entire lives without ever encountering a stray thought. Some are in the body. yet can see through the bars and attempt another jailbreak.

When Freedom is lost. While it's fun to toy with both. and so are boundless. To emphasize the inside is to pollute the outside with a grid. the Self includes the inside and the outside. Doubt allows people to see around corners. Freedom is lost. the wise spags create their own rules. Absolutism is born. In the same way. . and to peer above walls. Therefore when doubt is lost. When Authority arises. Therefore the wise spags never know. forgetting that they go together plants the seed of a cabbage. To emphasize the outside is to lose your center. Authority arises.Chapter 38 The sacred Chao includes both Order and Disorder. When Absolutism encounters dissent.

you can prove it. dingy. For every conclusion they make.Chapter 39 Every spag's mind is a better artist than they can ever know. Words reduce the Chao. supporting facts rise to the surface. If you can think it. Words are angry & sterile. This is how we turn Order and Disorder into fractals of Illusion. either. A confused mind cannot grasp it and cannot drop it. Each certainty has its own gravity that attracts the Illusions of Order. When spags try to order the Chao. the sky becomes dirty. .

"Incomprehensible Totality" is fairly incomprehensible.Chapter 40 Incomprehensible Totality is the nature of Chaos. All spags in the world create their own Illusions. . For the record. The absence of Illusion is the state of Chaos. and then spend the rest of their lives bound by them.

Order appears calming and sensible. . Doubt appears ignorant. If it weren't for those spags. Some hear about Discordia. Disorder appears unsettling and unstable. Uncertainty reveals itself as a narrow footbridge. Aggression appears confident. Mirth appears uncaring. All these are lies. Horror appears powerless. and think about it at great length. Certainty appears true. but with its heart in Chaos. Some hear about Discordia. Discordia wouldn't be as interesting as it is. and plot against the Machine™.Chapter 41 Some hear about Discordia. and decide it means they should get high and doodle. the path is clear.

What others teach. All things contain Order and Disorder. People hate when someone is being an asshole. things that fall apart are helpful.Chapter 42 Chaos is One." That's the first thing you need to know. I teach as well: "And this. but their leaders are all assholes. too. shall pass. which is Three. . And Confusion produced everything else. depending on how you look at it. Order and Disorder are Two. The Two produce Confusion. Sometimes.

Chapter 43 When discussing "Reality." the Professor and the Poet speak loftily about how things are figments. Matter is made up mostly of empty space. We only perceive sensations. feel solid wood in their hands. . The wise spags heft a barstool. and with a simple application of F=ma refute their argument. Everything could be a hallucination.

The only thing is. which do you prefer? Creation or Destruction. which do you choose? Those who chase one are led to the other. can you be sure which is which? .Chapter 44 Order or Disorder. Those who embrace both are free to choose which is more effective.

but a flaw cannot be found. The greatest Disorder appears stable. What "works" in the real world is correct.Chapter 45 The greatest mindfuck seems normal. The Barstool crashes through castles built on clouds. The best argument seems specious. The greatest Order seems random. . Just as the Zen master's staff strikes to cease thought. Only later does it infect the mind.

When people misunderstand Chaos. Whoever can embrace both will see for miles. . The greatest motivator of Order is Disorder. the Machine™ grinds them into grist. The greatest cause of Disorder is Order.Chapter 46 When people understand Chaos. they live their lives as they please.

. the less you will understand what restricts you. Glimpses outside your Cell are obscured by the bars. Therefore the wise spags wander through the world in doubt. and constantly ask for directions.Chapter 47 You can't view the Universe without one map or another. The more you insist you are not in Prison.

furrow our brows and plug away at life.* But we tense our muscles.Chapter 48 If Order and Disorder are illusions. our Lady laughs at the silly Cabbages trying too hard to be spontaneous. Meanwhile. then turning one into the other is simple as changing your mind. *Please note that changing your mind is not simple. .

The wise spags see more of the Universe by understanding how little of it they see.Chapter 49 The wise have more than two options. "there is no box". They understand that a spag who does not see their Cell is eternally trapped by it. They recognize a Maybe. This is the freedom of limitations. . They see beyond True and False. This is what is meant by.

The ways to lose look distant. How is this possible? By seeing all possibilities as valid. . They can identify the pitfalls and recognize valid points. all while staying true to their goal.Chapter 50 Coming to an argument. How did this happen? Because the mind held one side too strongly. but the losses come swiftly. the ways to win seem clear. It's said that those who are curious explore myriad aspects of life without judgment and in arguments are not affected by fallacy. Whether or not they are probable is an entirely different matter.

When a shmuck slips. and bold enough to be the butt of the joke. you are vulnerable to the old banana peel shtick. And. be open to change. be honest. don't take yourself seriously. . your head high like a cosmic shmuck. their face becomes red with embarrassment. When you walk with total certainty. it was funny.Chapter 51 If you want to be serious. Eris showed them what they did not perceive.

and then you'll know what needs filling.Chapter 52 The unity of the Chao shattered into everything else. Embrace doubt. Admitting ignorance is wise. That which can be understood can be useful. Those who understand Chaos can understand the rest. reserve judgment. Look for the gaps. This is Thinking for Yourself. and knowledge will flow like water. Come to solid conclusions. . have unwavering Faith. and nothing will make sense. Declaring stupidity is clever. seek them out.

"my country.Chapter 53 Even those who partially understand admit they do not know everything. right or wrong. the people embrace Faith over Facts. When Authority bangs the podium. What is unknown is vast. the people say. They have given up their humanity. but people enjoy blinding themselves. This is fucking stupid. So some people revel in their abandonment of responsibility. ." When the holy man thumps his scripture.

Therefore the wise spags choose responsibly. Those who choose to play a different game are usually trampled underfoot. which come from others. and seek out new groups. They know which rules are their own. . you must abandon responsibility. you destroy the Self. and how to navigate between them. you must follow their rules. When you abandon responsibility. To follow their rules. To belong to the group. unless they appear to be playing along.Chapter 54 Our society is firmly held and steered by deeply ingrained and arbitrary rules.

They see around the bars of their Cell. They can wear ideas like masks. Whatever is monolithic will fall. but color inside the lines when they must. To decide you're right before getting the facts is foolish. To know Chaos is to always be in doubt. Order does not placate them. To know doubt is to always seek an answer. The first errant bit of evidence will cause a collapse. and always look just a little bit further. They can freely create. and are not bound by chains of Faith. To try and force Truth is dangerous.Chapter 55 Those who understand Chaos can pierce any illusion. Disorder does not trouble them. but remove them at will. knowing no boundaries. .

Chapter 56 Those that create. Those believing them can do anything. and Destruction. Those who destroy. Those who disbelieve are fools. Do you believe that? . Study the sixteen forms of Order. Creation. also destroy. Disorder. also create. These are all lies.

try to be the one making the speech. they will call you just." . "Pay no attention to the speeches of Authority. and they will follow. Make them think like apes. and they will act like monkeys. The world can be won by joining opposites: Tell people what they want to hear. And if at all possible.Chapter 57 Authority rules through miscommunication. but listen instead to what the audience is hearing. Show them what they fear. Relieve them of their responsibilities. Wars are waged by pandering to fears. Therefore. the wise spags say. they will call you wise.

and organize Freedom. The people want Order. To allow for mistakes means accepting mistakes. but at others' expense. . Therefore the wise spags disrupt Order.Chapter 58 When Authority imposes Order. and freely create their Illusions. people become angry. people become nervous. but only to justify their actions. To enforce Order ensures future punishment. The people want Freedom. When Authority allows Freedom.

Those who would undermine you are a part of what you do. the thermodynamics of discourse. but they are not fools. Do not keep things concealed. it's hilarious. "Because I said so. Talk to people who disagree. It's not personal. but power inhibits communication. Eventually. Seek information from opposing sides.Chapter 59 Status gives power. and do never resort to. Action creates resistance." The people may be foolish. These are social laws of motion. but also to the well-informed. those that try to impose Order become mired in disarray. . Listen to the will of the people.

However. He is given a set of rules that the people should follow. . yet independent. that create the rich texture. And so Order and Disorder combine to create beauty. he tries organize them. the more harmonious the performance. By flapping his arms. The more careful and precise he is.Chapter 60 A good leader is like an orchestra conductor. a good leader knows that it is the individual differences working together.

instead. much can be accomplished. arriving from nowhere. If all you want to do is brag about how cool you are. Thus by concentrating on goals without playing ego games. while the crab grass creeps unharmed. Keep your fucking mouth shut. and fading into nothingness. The tallest blade of grass gets cut. you might want learn to play the guitar.Chapter 61 A successful cabal is like a dust cloud. Keep your head down. ungraspable. .

hit him with a barstool from this universe. When the Philosopher rambles. Both Order and Disorder are windows. . Scattered stones can tell a story.Chapter 62 Chaos is contained in all things. How do the wise spags embrace Chaos? They do not favor Order or Disorder. Why should we choose one over the other? So when Authority tightens its fists one must learn to slip through the fingers. Solid walls can break. Behind them lies Chaos. It hides in the Illusions of Order and Disorder.

Don't escalate Disorder. Walk through the crowd unnoticed. while slipping firecrackers into their pockets. and so leave a wake behind them wherever they go. The wise spags don't seek recognition. . Become the faceless walking Glitch who makes everyone's day just a little bit stranger. Being an attention whore is like a magnet for batons when the riots start. Learn to sabotage the Machine™ without getting caught. of course.Chapter 63 Don't impose Order. Unless the situation demands it.

You're not playing that game. Those game rules were written by Authority. Disorganized things cry for Order.Chapter 64 Organized things cause Disorder. win. A mindfuck of epic proportions only happens when no one notices the set-up. . Let other people wave their flags and storm the riot shields. and doing so. Therefore the wise spags learn all the rules. The colorful and flashy get noticed. They create the Illusion that best fits their situation. and then write different games. Most games are won when using misdirection. The wary and wise wear camouflage. There is no way you can win at that.

Even in the darkest night. Those who think in terms of Either/Or are dangerous. Knowing Chaos means seeing the Illusions. . Understanding the choices means you are not trapped in trite cliches about duality. Even at noon. They cannot see Chaos. there are shadows. Seeing the Illusions means understanding the choices. there is light.Chapter 65 The wise spags have learned not to trust Absolutes.

Change the way you see the world. and create more useful Illusions.Chapter 66 Because Order and Disorder do not exist but are only self-created Illusions. and the world will change for you (but do not think the world has changed. Save your rage for worthier goals. It is unwise to put faith in Illusions). . it is futile to rage and wail against them.

. Certainty un-tempered by doubt.Chapter 67 Chaos is quick to dispel fanatics. carelessness without humor: These things are heavy like Greyface's luggage. which brings about questions. direction without freedom. Fuck what you "know" about Chaos. Uncertainty has a momentum of its own. When you have no certainty you cannot remain willfully blind. It gives rise to curiosity. which births uncertainty.

why should you be? .Chapter 68 The best comedian is not funny. This is known as the power of not striving. The best employer doesn't crack the whip. The best philosopher is an idiot. The best winner is a loser. Universe isn't sweaty.

An idea that confronts is an idea that will be rejected. and use your opponent's language. . because it was always there. There are better ways to change someone's mind than by screaming at them. But not their rules.Chapter 69 Someone who looks like an enemy will be treated like an enemy. Slip by their natural defenses. and plant seeds of doubt and confusion. A slowly growing tree will shatter a sidewalk and the concrete will not notice. Be subtle.

Chapter 70 These teachings are stupid. Especially this chapter. . It's probably the dumbest one.

Because they are willing to acknowledge failure. Those who are willing to accept new information adapt to their situation. they will not fail. Those that claim to know everything will fail. Usually.Chapter 71 It is wise to admit ignorance. .

but is not an actor. Do not restrict people's freedoms. or their bodies. another Authority will descend. or their minds. If you act like a tyrant. . Therefore the wise spag acts. When people lack a sense of awe they cannot see what's awesome.Chapter 72 When people openly disobey Authority. you will be treated like a tyrant. not against. The wise spags go around.

. They straddle the shifting line between True and False. and deny one half of the Universe? Wise spags find the patterns.Chapter 73 Those who embrace Disorder will breed Order. Those who embrace Order will breed Disorder. but by finding the Hidden Middle. They change the world. and invent new game rules to trip up the Machine™. and embrace the whole Universe. not through Ideology. Why would you embrace Illusion. Both of these ways are foolish.

. On the other hand. you will end up with nothing real. Drop ambition and expectation and death will have nothing real to kill. someone else will pick them up.Chapter 74 When you realize that change is the only constant there is nothing left to fight. When you let the pieces fall where they may.

Authority does not care about people because they are not responsible. The people do not take it for themselves. People do not care about responsibility because they gave it to Authority. Authority makes myriad rules because people do not follow them. .Chapter 75 People are not free following Authority. This is why we are all criminals. Only those who accept responsibility and seize their freedoms can change their stars. because Authority only gives people the Freedoms they are allowed.

Chapter 76
When born, we are close to Chaos. We simply experience, we have no names. Growing up, we learn how to make patterns and we are taught about Order and Disorder. Believing this to be reality, our minds and bodies become rigid, rather than flexible. And so are easy to break.

Chapter 77
Chaos is made up of all things. This is why it makes no distinctions. People are less than all things, so they see differences and put them in boxes. Because they are people, they lie to themselves from the day they open their eyes. Who are free from the chains of Illusion? Not even the wise spags, although they try. So the wise spags create their own Illusions, and do not admit perfect clarity. They know better than anyone else, the power of Illusion to blind the eye and deafen the ear.

Chapter 78
Those that impose Order soon find that they have increased Disorder. Those that escalate Disorder build the walls of Order in response. Those that laugh at these Illusions can overcome anything. Laughter cannot win wars, but it can win hearts. It can soften the rigid. It will make you drop your baggage. It can unite, it can multiply, it can do long division.

Chapter 79
A healthy body ebbs and flows with emotions. Only the sick are inflexible. Joy and hate must be experienced, and then let go. If you do not shit your hate, you will die. Who can live, retaining a colon full of hate? If you hold on to joy for too long, it will stagnate and fester. Life craves the new, regardless of its content. Only the dead cease changing.

. They are surely as dead as they can be. unwise. or try new things. though they still draw breath. They will not make observations. They will rely on tradition as their guides.Chapter 80 In a place where information is suppressed and curiosity stifled. the people will be uncaring. and not free. or play. They will be suspicious of outsiders just as they are with new ideas. Their minds will be as stagnant as the pond where they dump their garbage. or experiment.

Reading about Laughter is not the same as laughing.Chapter 81 Words are not experiences. . These Orderly letters only approximate the spinning Chaos of life. Now get out there and make something happen. The Disorder around you has yet to find a pattern. Experiences have no words.

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