FEBRUARY 2008 - Love Issue

100%
Stolen Content Wrestling Boozeletter

HOGANS DITCH UNPOPULAR MEMBER (BETTER AS A TRIO)
Things are looking up for the Hogan Clan now that they have released that alcoholic, money spending, gold digger, Linda. Brooke has moved into her own pad and may join Chyna, John Elway and Heavy D next season on Dancing with the Stars. Nick's friend John Graciano didn't die so he'll probably walk (Nick, not John). Patriarch Hulk has a huge hit right now with American Gladiators. Crushing any ratings number WWE has done on NBC this century.

That Gold Digger Linda A fan of the slow build. Linda stuck it out for nearly a quarter of a century.

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THE RETURN OF THE AMERICAN

GLAADIATORS BY PAIGE ALBINIAK
On Crush, on Militia, on Hellga and Venom! On Stealth, on Fury, on Titan and Justice! Run up the Pyramid, get through the Gauntlet, jostle in the Joust! Do whatever it is you muscle-bound, scantily-clad creatures do. In these scripted-starved times, NBC is bringing back "American Gladiators," a syndicated cult classic that aired from 1989 to 1996 and was distributed by MGM. The show is off to a scandalous start. Like many a high-profile, low-rent reality series, the participants on "American Gladiators" have plenty of baggage. Alex Castro, whose gladiator name is Militia, has worked as a model under the name Elian Cortez for adult Web site, Colt Studios. There, the bodybuilder and his buns of steel were prominently featured in the 2003 "Butt Beautiful" calendar and on decks of nude playing cards, among other products. He's also currently featured, under his own name, on MalePerfection.net., cavorting nude on white bed sheets in an explicit video.

Castro's gay profile is apparently not going to affect the show, whose episodes were in the can, so to speak, before the scandal broke. Phone calls to Castro's representative were not returned. He isn't the only one haunted by scandal on the show. Co-host Hulk Hogan's son, Nick Bollea (Nick bears Hogan's real last name), was arrested and charged with reckless driving with serious bodily injury after crashing during a drag race against a friend, Danny Jacobs. Bollea's passenger, 22-year-old John Graziano, suffered severe brain damage, and Hogan is accused of purchasing alcohol for his underage son. Hogan's wife, Linda, has since filed for divorce. When Hogan tried to discuss the incident with reporters on a December conference call, a NBC publicist forbade any personal questions. But Hogan, 54, is free to discuss the show. "American Gladiators" pits 12 hard-bodied "gladiators" against amateur athletes in all sorts of insane feats of physical prowess. Hogan will share hosting duties with Laila Ali, the undefeated Super Middleweight Boxing Champion of the World and a popular contestant on "Dancing With The Stars." The feats include the Joust, in which two fighters perched on peaks 10-feet high battle it out until one falls into the water below. In the Gauntlet, one man or woman must run 90 feet through a chain of four Gladiators and crash through a foam wall at the end. Contenders must also scale the Pyramid while facing two defending Gladiators. The Eliminator is a timed obstacle course in which contenders dive off a high platform,

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WHOA MAN?

swim under a flaming surface, among other tasks. The winner of the Eliminator also wins the competition and $100,000. While both hosts have led athletic careers, neither felt obligated to try their hands at being a gladiator themselves. "I actually tried the joust, but I was just playing around with one of the guys that came to the show for an interview, so it was nothing serious," says Ali, 30. "But it was more challenging than I thought it would be. And that is the one event that I thought that I would be good at because it is kind of like fighting but there's a whole lot more involved there with the balance you need and you got on this headgear and this giant stick." "When nobody was around before the first rehearsal day, I was in there with a couple of the grips and the electricians when they were just finishing up the big set," says Hogan. "I made an attempt to climb to the top of the pyramid with my fake knee and my fake hip. And I did get to the top, but I kind of crawled up slowly. And once I got to the top, I was sweating like a dog." Ali says she and Hogan both bring their own brands of outspokenness to their hosting duties. "I pretty much just tell it like it is," she says. "I've had the audience boo me a couple times. There was one competitor, where anything that had to do with upper body strength she just didn't do well on. At one point I told her, you know what? You need to just go do some push-ups or some pull-ups. And the audience kind of booed me. And I said okay, maybe I shouldn't have said that. "But I just say what I feel at that time in the moment. I never know what I'm going to say."

Rumored to be hermaphodykes?
Brooke has been teased about possibly being man, or at least part man. Putting her in elite company with notable Hermoz R&B Star Sierra and fired T-Mobile pitchperson Jamie Lee Curtis. Kind of makes her topless scene in Trading Spaces a little more awesome.

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THE NATURAL? FOUR TIME MR. NATURAL UNIVERSE

TITAN
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KANE IS ONE OF THOSE CRAZY RON PAUL PEOPLE
The presidential election, already one of the wildest in history, just got wilder. With former adult film queen Jameson endorsing Hillary Clinton, and wrestling legend Ric Flair endorsing (and campaigning for) Mike Huckabee, how much crazier could it get? Now we have a new Ron Paul celebrity endorsement. How about a near-7-feet-tall "monster" and horror movie killer publicly declaring his endorsement? Well, just for those who thought they'd seen it all ... hold on, because it only gets better! According to Wrestling News Desk.Com World Wrestling Entertainment's resident evil delivery boy of Hellfire and Brimstone, "The Monster Kane" has endorsed Ron Paul for President of the United States. "While he plays a maniacally violent behemoth on television, Kane is actually the very intelligent, politically-active Glenn Jacobs behind the scenes." stated Wrestling News Desk editor Matthew Cooper, whose site has been covering Flair's endorsement of Huckabee, and now Kane's endorsement of Paul, "Jacobs is actually very respected in the WWE locker room for having a keen insight into world affairs." In his endorsement, Jacobs stated “Over the next year or so, many different people are going to tell you which presidential candidate to vote for. I’m not qualified to do that (and, in reality, neither is anyone else), but I would like to explain why I support and am going to vote for Congressman Ron Paul.If you’re like me, you’re tired of unnecessary and exorbitant taxes, you’re tired of the dollar constantly losing purchasing power, and you’re alarmed when politicians demand that we surrender our constitutionally protected civil liberties, especially the bedrock principles of habeas corpus and due process, in exchange for “security.” If you aren’t concerned about any of these things, you’ll have plenty of choices for President in 2008. If, on the other hand, you would like to see the IRS eliminated and the income tax ended, a return to sound money and the end of inflation, and a President who takes his oath to defend the Consti tution and the Bill of Rights seriously, then Dr. Ron Paul is your only choice. It’s not just a catch phrase; Ron Paul is Hope for America."

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L A N 2 0 0 8

C E S W i s h

T O R L i s t

M

'

S

Rather than a look back at 2007 I thought I would take a look ahead, and talk about what I would like to see in 2008… ROH: I would love to see ROH land some form of regular TV deal. I just started getting the Fight Network at the tail end of last year and they air an hour of ROH programming each week. The shows appear to just be random DVD match selections, but the stuff is great. I also saw my first ROH PPV this year (Man Up), which was fantastic so the idea of getting to follow the up to date product and follow the PPV build would be tremendous. ROH, for me, is the true WWE Alternative programming so I would love to see it get a regular up to date TV program. ROH needs to be exposed to a much bigger market because their product is very good.

Lance Storm knows what's best for everybody. Pay attention, hippie. For more on Lance, check out his site at stormwrestling.com. And be good. WWLD?

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TNA: I’m not going to bother wishing for a booking or announcing change in 2008 because that seems to be a futile wish and a subject that has been done to death. What I’d most like to see apart from that in TNA is the return of “The Phenomenal” AJ Styles. The AJ Styles that I saw on Impact this week was the biggest idiot loser in this business’s history, and I’d like the return of the guy that once headlined this company as World Champion. Why anyone would take such a uniquely gifted and talented performer and turn him into the biggest Jack Ass in wrestling history is beyond me. Remember the TNA review show they did on Monday that one time RAW was pre-empted. They declared the 3-way match with AJ Styles, Christopher Daniels, and Samoa Joe the greatest match in TNA history. I want that AJ Styles back… actually I’d like that Christopher Daniels and that Samoa Joe back too, but that may be asking too much. AJ is now a Jack Ass, Daniels has been “fired”, and Samoa Joe is now a big whiner…ah TNA. WWE: There are a few things I’d like to see in 2008 from WWE, the first being the immediate dropping of the Hornswaggle McMahon angle. I am so completely tired of this angle. It produced a nice laugh at Vince’s expense when it was first revealed and managed to somehow turn Finlay baby face, but I can’t see what else this program can produce, apart from a ton of bad matches and poor ratings. The other thing I’d love to see in 2008 is the immediate baby face turn and push of Shelton Benjamin. Benjamin is a lot like AJ Style in that he is a uniquely gifted athlete that can do things no other performer can do. When Sheldon was first moved to RAW and given that brief pushing beating HHH he was amazing, not to mention that awesome match he had on RAW with HBK. Remember the springboard into the super kick finish? That was awesome. I would also like to see Santino Marella made into a full time manager. I have no interest in seeing this guy in matches on a regular basis but I’d be more than happy to hear him cut promos every week. Santino is one of the most entertaining promos WWE has produced in years, maybe decades, and needs to be a regular part of the show but, as I said before, I have no interest in seeing this guy wrestle. UFC: Above all else I want to see the end of the string of upsets that plagued UFC in 2007. One or two surprise wins can be good for business but when they happen all the time they do more harm than good. If no one wins consistently and every match is a coin toss, no one becomes a star, and it is very hard to create big matches for PPV. I know this business is a shoot and UFC has no control over this but this is a wish list and that is what I wish for. To start a more consistent year I’d love to see Brock Lesnar excel in UFC. His UFC debut in February will like be the first UFC PPV I order and if he can start a dominant win streak Brock Lesnar could become UFC’s next big thing, and that would make me very happy. Here’s hoping, Lance Storm

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DEAD LADIES

STAR OF THE MONTH: "CRYBABY" CHRIS NOWINKSI
This dude travelled to ROH to try to prevent the guys' brains' turnin' to musch. They paid him back with a few unprotected chairshots to the head. Luckily for Chris, it was their own heads. Chris Nowinski, he just thinks he knows everything.

NANCY BENOIT PROVES TO BE CONTROVERSIAL PICK AS CNP'S SOTM.
The STAR OF THE MONTH honor is given to a professional wrestler creating a buzz. Nancy making it into HUSTLER, a mainstream American magazine, gave her that honor last month. Due to the controversy this months dead ladies of wrestling pictorial has been pulled.

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REBEL UPSTART UWF SCORES TV DEAL WITH ESPN CLASSICS
Twelve years since the passing of it's founder, Mr. Herb Abrams, the UWF has done what ROH can't. Score a television deal. Burn. The following is an interview with Al Burke, owner of the UWF Library.

Tell me how you first came to meet Herb Abrams. When did you first work for him? I know you worked a 1993 television taping in Minot, ND as Mr. Outrageous, and the 1994 "Blackjack Brawl" card in Las Vegas, NV as Dr. Feelgood. Burke: I met with Herb Abrams in his Malibu office in March 1993 where I was hired to work in that office and wrestle on future shows. Minot was the first time wrestling for the UWF. Were you associated with the company when they planned to relaunch just prior to Herb's death in 1996? Burke: Yes.

B. Brian Blair, Dr. Death Steve Williams and Don Muraco are among the notable stars of this awesome promotion that's just now hitting it's peak, twelve years after shutting down.

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How did you come to possess the UWF tape library and Tag Team Championship belt? Do you have any other UWF memorabilia? Burke: Herb left for New York in December 1994 to take care of his sick mother, leaving me in charge of all west coast operations. In a letter dated January 2, 1995, Herb Abrams gave me full control of the UWF in his absence. I don’t think Herb realized he would never return. A letter dated November 19, 1995 gave me the rights to use the UWF Tag Belt for charities and in my acting career for which I am “depicting or portraying a wrestler.” As far as memorabilia, I have some old photos of Herb, Herb’s Popeye collection, some T-shirts, posters and flyers from Blackjack Brawl which I also helped promote. Do you have an episode guide of the weekly series "Fury Hour", or know exactly how many episodes of the show were produced? Todd Okerlund told me there is roughly 60 hours of footage, including the "Beach Brawl" pay-per-view and "Blackjack Brawl" special. Burke: I have given Todd Okerlund all the footage of UWF in NTSC format. No episode guide for Fury Hour. My library inventory shows 69 episodes of Fury Hour, but Mr. Abrams had remixed some of the same episodes to increase the size of the UWF library. That is one of the many games that Herb Abrams was famous for. Besides licensing the tape library through Classic Wrestling, what else do you plan on doing with the UWF footage? Any chance of a DVD compilation? Burke: That is something Todd and I have yet to decide, but we have been talking about it. At this time no. Maybe in a couple of years it will go to DVD in the stores. Have any other parties shown interest in buying the tape library? Burke: Some negotiations are ongoing. Do you keep track of foreign licensing of UWF footage? I've seen several DVD compilations appear in recent years (Germany and Australia) that feature UWF footage. Are those authorized by you? Zoogz Rift told me that in his travels with Herb Abrams in 1993-1994, they sold distribution rights to several foreign companies. Burke: Todd Okerlund and I have discussed that and none of those were authorized by me. Zoogz went to Malaysia with Herb while I ran the office with Marty Cohen at the time.One more foreign deal was made after the trip to Malaysia by Herb and myself. Zoogz left the UWF for many reasons including money owed to him before the trip to Las Vegas. I was then promoted to second in command upon the resignation of Zoogz. FYI – The MGM Grand was also owed money (lots of money) by Herb. That is another story for “The Life and Times of Herb Abrams!”.

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What are your most distinct memories of Herb Abrams and your time working for his promotion? Burke: Hawaii with Herb, a hooker and Steve Williams before Herb’s death. Tour of Israel with Herb – I don’t know how we made it out of that country alive. I recently watched "Blackjack Brawl" and there was a man named Carlo Gianelli doing play-byplay on the live broadcast. Do you know who he was? Burke: I don’t know where Herb came up with this guy. I've read that the checks Mick Foley and Missy Hyatt received for their work at "Blackjack Brawl" later bounced. Were you paid for your work that night? Burke: I was finally paid for that night, but it took 6 months to get it. I think the only reason I was paid is because I was working so closely with Herb and knew MANY secrets. How would you like the UWF promotion to be remembered? Burke: Herb Abrams was a character to say the least. The UWF should be remembered for all of the craziness that Herb brought to the promotion. The UWF could have been so much more if it wasn’t for the drug problems of Herb Abrams. Now, I am making sure that all deals are fair, reasonable and always above board with Todd Okerlund and anyone that works with myself and the Universal Wrestling Federation (UWF). The UWF "won" the following Wrestling Observer Awards: 1990 - Worst Television Announcer (Herb Abrams) 1991 - Worst Promotion (UWF) 1991 - Worst Television Show (Fury Hour) 1994 - Worst Major Wrestling Card (Blackjack Brawl)

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SUNDAY NIGHT FINALLY HAS A DECENT LIVE CALL IN WRESTLING INTERNET AUDIO SHOW

www.blogtalkradio.com/k4d
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This page intentionally left blank as tribute to all the fallen wrestlers both living and dead we make fun of each month.

Just kidding, it's a list of current WWE Superstars that have employer provided healthcare benefits.

Nah, it's a picture from WWE.COM of the winner of the 2004 Royal Rumble.

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Chick to blame?
Is the reason Lashley won't return his real life soulmate Kristyl (Teddy Long's disappeared soul mate on screen). This wouldn't be the first time some woman derails a guys wrestling/ rock star career.

Supposed "Next Big Thing" BOBBY LASHLEY Pulls a BROCK and quits WWE via his web-forum message board.
From pwinsider.com "Circumstances, which are out of my control left me no decision but to leave the WWE. I can't go into details of this now but like I said before, sometimes people will hate you personally and try to destroy you, which has happened here. Evil has prevailed. However like I said before, if you LASHLEY THRU THE AGES 2005 continue your struggle, doors will open around these people. You have not seen the last of me, so please don't stop your support. Add Bobby Lashley to the list of RECENTLY RELEASED!"
-BOBBY LASHLEY HIMSELF ON HIS MESSAGE BOARD. How smarky is that?

2006

2007
Beat Mark Henry in a fake arm wrestling match. Headlined Mania and shaved Vince's head.

2008 Qishsjb ut i o bcueo hs eas f i wmn Gna oa. on g tr c i U C e ih n F. O gtdatd r e rfe bc it te ak no h A m t f g ti ry o ih n IA. RN UAUAUA S S S

Makes his Becomes Smackdown de- second guy but. Sucks to break charisma out of every seg- the Master Lock and ment he was ruins in. Makes Simon Dean Chris Maseat 20 hamter's Caburgers at No reer [14] Mercy.

Former ECW champion Bobby Lashley, who was expected to return from his injuries this month, has parted ways with World Wrestling Entertainment, according to Lashley's official website. Lashley, who debuted with the Smackdown brand in 2005, moved to the ECW brand in December 2006 with the idea that the brand would be built around him. He received a huge promotional push and won the ECW belt at the December to Dismember PPV. WWE's push continued featuring Lashley going right into a Wrestlemania 23 headline match against Umaga with Donald Trump and Vince McMahon as their respective seconds which was promoted heavily to the media due to Trump's involvement and the hair vs. hair stipulation that saw McMahon shaved bald in the center of the ring. The Wrestlemania match led to a feud with McMahon where Lashley lost and regained the ECW title. Lashley was drafted to the Raw brand in June 2007 and vacated the ECW belt. He had been out of the ring since last July, when he finally took time off to have surgery and rehab rotator cuff and shoulder problems that had been nagging him for several months. On the forum of his official website, www.BobbyLashleyOnline.com, Lashley commented, "Circumstances, which are out of my control left me no decision

but to leave the WWE. I can't go into details of this now but like I said before, sometimes people will hate you personally and try to destroy you, which has happened here. Evil has prevailed. However like I said before, if you continue your struggle, doors will open around these people. You have not seen the last of me, so please don't stop your support. Add Bobby Lashley to the list of RECENTLY RELEASED!" Lashley, a former amateur champion who also served in the Army, originally signed with the company in 2003 and spent time in Ohio Valley Wrestling before being brought up to the main roster. Lashley teased a potential MMA interest on 1/16, writing, "I am not sure what I will be doing the next few months. I said I am in fighting shape because if I am not wrestling, I will be fighting. Wrestling is my passion but sometimes things are out of your control. The time off I've had was well needed and was not in vain. I had surgery in August, which was pretty serious. I had to have 5 connectors put in my shoulder to repair my torn labrum. I was slated to be out for 6 months but I think that diagnosis was for an average person. I’m ready for action and I have been for some time now. Whatever action that may be, I will be ready." snatched from pwspyware.com

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WWE CRACKS DOWN ON THE REEFER MADNESS
Test failures will result in a $1000 fine. Given the state of the US Dollar, 100% of WEED

Apparently WWE is sick of it's independent contrac-

tors smoking the sweet chronic. Luckily for the superstars, the Man will only test for God's Plant once a year.

Smokers Polled by Cut 'n Paste would easily pay a grand a year to smoke out. Maybe even two MIDNIGHT TOKERS
Some people call me space cowboy. Some call me the gangster of love. One dude calls me Maurice.

grand. Marijuana kills zero people per year and brings joy to countless millions.

EVERYBODYLOVESTERRY.COM
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CUT 'N PASTE WRITE US at CNP@EVERYBODYLOVESTERRY.COM free ads available to non-douches edited by Rip Oliver

EVERYBODYLOVESTERRY.COM
The online "home" to Cut 'n Paste Boozeletter is not as cool as RVD's site.
This week, Van Dam launched RVD TV, an online reality show that is exclusive to members of his Web site (robvandam.com). One thing that has always set Van Dam apart from his peers is that he is such a free spirit, and that’s what makes him fun to watch on RVD TV. In the first episode, “Poolside with RVD,” Van Dam takes viewers through his elaborate stretching routine and discusses the Yin and Yang – which has nothing to do with Jimmy Wang Yang, by the way – and how to achieve inner peace. RVD comes off as a cross between Diamond Dallas Page’s motivational speaker character and Sonjay Dutt’s “Guru” persona – only much cooler. Actually, Van Dam, hanging out at his pool and just being himself – which includes the usage of four-letter words on occasion – shows a natural charisma that didn’t always come across when he was delivering scripted promos in WWE. The second offering was an episode of “Friends in High Places.” In these segments, RVD and his pals tackle a specific topic in a conversation that he says is “un-researched, unrehearsed and unscheduled.” This week’s topic was gun control, and RVD’s guests were former WWE star Chris Masters and UFC’s Justin McCully. As an intellectual discussion, this wasn’t exactly Meet the Press, but it was a lot more entertaining. It’s also pretty obvious how this segment got its title. Watching McCully state his opinions on gun control reminded me of Spicoli talking about U.S. history. The only thing missing was a double cheese and sausage pizza.

Next month in Cut 'n Paste Wrestling Boozletter: AN OBITUARY OVER WHICHEVER LEGEND dies next month. We learn how to take a punch. In honor of RVD and Sabu getting busted, we'll teach you how to get

pulled over by the fuzz while smoking weed and walk. The MARCH Star of the Month is a junkie. And much much much much much more.

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