MYSTICAL SECRET

Man' is a supreme gift of creation. He has been moulded with utmost care, by the creator. He is, infact, the crowning glory of the animate universe. He lives as per his wish. 'Man' can acquire success, with his endeavours, in every field of life. He can even compel god either to come to him or chooses the role of an atheist. Due to his tenacity. 'Man' has been victorious in different spheres of life, like, the Bodhitatva yoga, mountaineering and many more. No path is left untrodden by man. Today, man is striving to reach the deepest recesses of earth.
'Woman' is undeniably, the most beautifull creation of Nature. Without woman, the human world, and the entire living world is incomplete. Even prayers, and meditations, become meaningless, woman is always a vital part of a man's life. History is incomplete without its reference to woman. Devoid of female persone, the puranas too become, 'Lack Lustre'. She has become the 'symbol' of , and the 'cause of creation'. The subject of discussion in the present context is 'Surya'. She has ascended the highest stage, and presently is leading a life of 'free will'. But the social humiliation and sexual harassment, to which she was subjected in the first phase of her life, are still fresh in her memory. She has not been able to erase the past memories. Despite her celestial 'Mayaic state' her past wounds are fresh. Surya is a beauty incarnate. Tremendous attraction is within her. Her story, in her own words can be narrated thus - once upon a time, she was a part of a royal family of Nepal. She was a beautiful, simple mountain belle who became the daughter in law of the royal family of Bhogeshwari by virtue of her great charm and beauty. When she was in the prime of her youth and beauty, her husband suddenly died. After the death of her husband in human treatment was meted out to her, by her inlaws and she was thrown out of the house. Her 'beauty' turned into a 'curse'. The king was a cruel and a debauch man. He openly indulged in immoral acts, and did not even spare his close relatives. Even surya, who was a part of the royal family, became his prey. Thus victimized and humiliated by the society, she found hersel on the roads, alone and shelterless. Her extreme poverty forced her to sell her body and she became the helpless victim of lecherous men. One day, she eloped with a Japanese youth, who had come to Nepal for mountaineering. Even the Japanese treated her in the similar lowly manner, exploited her sexually and, finally abandoned her to her fate. She found herself again, enveloped, in total darkness. Totally disillusioned, a man often toys with suicidal thoughts. But, she was young and beautiful, and refused to give up so easily. Her all consuming hatred for men and society, and her intense longing for revenge, gave her strength to live.

One day 'Kaplik Aghar Nibhai Nath Peer' happened to spot the beautiful surya. He was attracted to her by her long dark lustrous tresses, slender arms and dark burning eyes. Finally, he had found the ideal companion for his 'Upasana' in surya. He smiled inwardly, and congratulated himself, for coming across the right person. His search of thousands of years had ultimately borne fruit in the shape of this beautiful, distraught young woman, Nibhai Nath belonged to the 'Aghor sect', and excelled in this particular field. He was also associated with the Tibetan occult practise. By virtue of his excellence in these practises, he could freely travel anywhere, and everywhere. Even the great saints who lived in the Himalaya caves were afraid of him. He could readily change his guise. In disguise he often mingled with 'satwic' devotees, and polluted their food. He also often moved around as a common man. One day while he was moving as a commoner, he came across surya and was over joyed to find her. Surya was mesmerised by him and easily succumbed to the hypnotic spell. He took her to his 'Mayic Mansion' which was situated on the banks of Gandaki, in Tato Paani.
Today, Nibhainath is not there. He got lost perhaps, some where in the crags of the mountains, while attemting to acquire the peak of his 'Upasana'. His mortal remains were engulfed by the turbulence of the river waters. Now, surya reigns in his establishment she is known as 'Maya Ki Yogini' (the mendicant of 'maya'). She is also looked upon as Yakshini by some people who know her.

She acquired all the knowledge of the 'Kriyas' of this particular sect from Nibhai Nath, and thus, after obtaining, the total 'Siddhi' (secret knowledge) she established herself as the yogini. Very easily she could perform the various games like - changing the form of the body, dallying with human blood, and other related activities. She could easily travel anywhere in her bodily form at her own will. But she could not go beyond the limits, set by the peer. The peer wanted to make her the ever lasting medium of his 'Upasana'. Many students of the peer like Rama the Aghori, Sudarshan Aghori, Baba Aghor Kapalik, all were keen to adopt her as their medium of worship, and were all out to please her. But surya had, altogether, different designs, she was desperate to become a curse for the Rana family. The brutal and the in human treatment of the Rana family, had ruined her forever, and surya could not get rid of the ugly memories. A romantic and a sensitive person at heart, she yearned for the company of a young man who would love her and cherish her. But since her dreams had turned into ashes, she was only revenge incarnate. She was restless in the peer's bondage. Her situation was indeed ironical. Despite her powers, she was still a prisoner of the peer. She dared not cross the limits, unless sanctioned by the peer, for it may seriously affect her powers. Along with the powers, the fire of revenge, which was burning within her would also be extinguished. Death, is not he end of human life. Man can make his life meaningful, if viewed from altogether a different perspective, by proving himself useful to others. But when he ceases to be of any use, he reaches the dead end of his life. Today, surya, devoid of any aim in life, has made 'Man 'the target of her intense hatred. And the shattered 'man' eventually abandoned by her, finds himself wandering aimlessly on the periphery of life. All her victims were, thus consumed by the fire of her revenge. Finally, the day came, when surya managed to free herself from the control of the peer on the coastline of the Gandki river. Since the peer was unwilling to grant her the desired freedom, these was no choice left for surya, but to resort to this extreme step. Inthe past whenever she tried to escape she was subjected to many physical tortures, which were inflicted on her by 'souls in various forms.

'Souls, sometimes embodied as snakes tormented her with their bites till she became unconscious. The peer derived sadistic pleasure from her plight and said "You cannot escape from this illusory (mayic) habitation unless I release you from my control. These souls are the important 'medium' of my worship, and the desires of these insatiated souls can only be satisfied by you. My powers depend on their satiety, and they will continue to function as the medium of my worship. And you are indispensable to me because I have made 'you' the instrument of my 'sadhana' and now, since you have also perfected yourself in this art, the souls are at your disposal too. But this can only happen after my exit, which can not be easily, envisaged, for my thirst is yet to be quenched". Her life pattern remained unchanged. As a helpless victim of the peer and the insatiated soul's, she under went all the torturous experience. And she was filled with intense hatred for the perpetrators. Life had been very unkind to her.

One day, the two students of the peer, Sudharshan Aghori and Kanthi Baba Kapalika, brought the corpse of a thirteen year old girl and placed it on the banks of the Gandaki. They covered the freely exhumed corpse with a red cloth, and made the necessary arrangement for the 'Sadhana' with the invocation to the wondering souls. They began the Tantrik rites with the 'Ahuti' of liver and liquor. Gradually, life flowed back into the dead body, and it started trembling. The kapalikas were over joyed at the success of their sadhana, and plunged in wild merry making. Suddenly, strangely enough, the atmosphere changed from amity to enimity, when kamthi baba hit sudarshan Aghori with a large stone. And a fierce fight ensued between the two kapalikas, finally they succumbed to their injuries. They presented a gory sight. At that moment Nibhainath appeared, and quelled the riotious atmosphere. The macabre spectacle plunged Nibhainath in deep thoughts. He put the entire blame on the unconscious girl, and in vain tried to breath life into the dead bodies of sudharshan Aghori & Kanthi Baba. At that moment, the memories of my past flashed across my mind, and I trembled all over. When I saw peerji busy with his activity. I immediately pounced upon the opportunity, picked up a huge stone and hit him hard on the head. Badly bashed, his head, turned into a bloody pulp, and his soul was liberated from his body. Within few moments, everything was over. Stunned, I watched for a while, then took charge of the situation. I gathered the three corpses and threw them in the turbulence of the gandaki river.

I picked up the unconscious girl and marched towards the house. I was taken back with surprise when I saw a hut in the place of the house. The house had simply vanished. I went inside that tiny hut and found the familiar belongings of Nibhainath. His 'Chimta' was embedded in the ground and human skulls hung on the walls of the hut. The mansion, of course was conceived by the peer through 'Maya' so it had to disappear with his death. Now, I was totally free, and could summon the souls at my 'will' with my help and ministrations, the girl finally recovered her consciousness. We had to spend the night in the hut. When the day broke on the horizon, we departed from that place. A sizeable portion of my life I had spent in the precincts of the "Mayaic" mentions, and it had drained me of all my energies. I was a shattered and a worn out woman. But, this did not bother me much for I had found compensation in the form of high proficiency in the specific field. And I could use this knowledge or "Vidhya" at my own free will. I tried to recover my social status but failed, for, I was a misfit in the society. My life in the illusory world of Nibhainath, had wrought considerable changed in me. I was a changed woman, a stranger, and could not adjust to the ways of the world. Finally I gave up, and returned to the banks of the Gandki. I decided to construct a small hut near toto pani, and start a fresh chapter of my life. The girl's existence, however, was restricting my movements. I was concerned about her, for, she could not recollect her past. The construction of a swinging bridge on the river Gandaki was a blessing in disguise. The overseer Mr. Sharma, from Kathmandu who was incharge of the constructions, expressed his keen interest in the girl. I happily gave my consent to the proposal, and got them married. I shifted to Kathmandu with the young couple. My days were passing happily. Despite my new found happiness, I could not get rid of the wound which was gnawing my heart. My past recollections were fanning the silent embers of my hatred of the Rana family. Only few persons of my past, were still alive, and their mere existence was a sheer torture to me. The prosperity of the Rana's was the talk of the place. I vowed to fulfil my long cherished dream-the destruction of the Ranas. Armed with his determination I returned to the banks of Gandaki. I renovated the hut and turned it into a befitting place for my 'Sadhana'. For a couple of days I went through intense mental conflict finally I emerged with the renewed resolve, and buried myself in the different rites of the sadhana. First I summoned different souls, made them the instrument of my sadhana. Secondly I recreated this 'Maya' mansion well equipped, with all the luxuries of life. And finally I became the undisputed mistress of this domain. I had accomplished my mission long back, by eliminating all my enemies. Even till today their souls are within my control. The Japanese was also avenged by me. I made him pay for his misdeeds by forcing him to satisfy the desires of the mayic form of a dead woman. Eventually I got involved in the 'Upasana'. In the past this Upasana gave me happiness, but now it has become a problem. Man does not achieve anything, if he is consumed by such desires like, love, hatred, worship, and other kindred emotions. I am still the same surya, but no longer the yogini kapalika, instead I have turned into a yakshini. I can change my physical form at will, become invisible, and travel any where in the world. I am mistress of great powers, but I have not used them in a wise manner. At this stage of my life. My thirst has became insatiable I am always on fire. I want to tear my body into pieces and destroy, myself, but because of these souls I am unable to do so. Since I am their medium they have become my medium. Due to the mutual dependence, I have to surrender to their demands. But, since your arrival I am quiet and peaceful. A strange music is wafting within me. Life is no longer cumber some, the influx of the souls has also thinned. From far they are regularly staring at me. But, with your departure, the routine activities will start with a renewed zest. This is the chief reason which compels me to detain you. Your unexpected arrival has given me immense happiness. For the last one hundred and forty five years, I have been wandering in search of this. Oh: great soul - elevated being ! How can I allow you to go now? All the characteristics of a woman like, compassion, affection and love, were evident in her. Despite her womanly qualities. She presented a deceptive picture. A jackal & Hyde disposition was deeply hidden within her which could manifest itself any time and ruin the life of a passing devout person. And the passer-by would be last forever in her illusory realm. She was a Yakshini and was endowed with great magical powers. She could change into any physical form. (She could metamorphose into any living forms). Despite her excellence in the field of occult, she is till wandering. She looked 25 years old, though she gave her age as one hundred and forty years. Indeed an

intriguing ambiguity. Death, hunger, thirst and flesh of man and animals, were required to gratify her. And the souls were her companions in this macabre activity. My stay of eighteen days in her company was quiet, and incident free, Surya and her 'soul's were unable to do anything. I was mutely watching the dancing and carousing of the souls. While surya was narrating the story of her life and her vengeance of the royal family. (She had caused the deaths of the members of the royal family, with the result their souls are still wandering) From far the souls of dead Rana family were requesting me to free them from surya's bondage, Surya owing to my presence was unable to wreak vengeance on these souls. To them, it was altogether a novel experience. The predicament of these souls, who belong to the royalty when they were alive, stirred pity within me but when I penetrated the veil of their karma's I concluded that they deserved this treatment, for they were paying for their past sins. 'Man' tends to forget the fundamental truth and accepts the untruth as the semblance of truth. The reflection of untruth has camounflaged the 'truth' and man in its pursuit is lost forever. But all the flower of life's garden are not similar, some are also offered to God. Members of the royal family of Nepal, who had enjoyed fame and status suffered from high ego, which turned them into lecherous tormentors. Even after their death, the souls are still wandering, and will continue to wander till the arrival of the saviour (supreme soul) who would release them from surya's bondage. The reflection of the setting sun was failing on the gandaki. I was sitting in the courtyard of the beautiful mansion, and watching the scene, Surya too was there. It was strange, that the reflection of the mansion was not falling on the moving waters of gandaki. Instead of the mansion, the reflection of the hut could be seen in the waves of the gandaki river. But there was no hut nearby, except the swinging bridge and few people, who were at the moment crossing the bridge. I was surprised to see that none of the passer - by paid the slightest attention to the magnificence of the mansion. Suddenly, the realization downed upon me that surya was trying to entangle me in the web of her illusionary world (Maya) and deviate me from my rightful chosen path. Her pathetic tale of woes had cast its spell on me, but at that crucial moment my thought waves intervened, and cautioned me against it. Evening was melting in the arms of the night, and the moon light was spreading its grandeur and affecting the waves of gandaki. I too responded to this scene of splendour and enchantment but the scene evoked different emotions within me, like, the intense longing for the Dwait, and the poignancy in the merger with "The Adwait". All these emotions and feelings, assailed my mind simultaneously. An island also emerges from some reservoir of waters, the river flows from a source, and the waters falls, rely on the water ponds. This explains their inter dependence perhaps this example throws light on her apt utterance "Love" is and eternal thirst. Love is primaeval thirst. Love revolves around beauty but it is also true that love is anchored to the soul. The compassionate voice of the souls and the primaeval thirst unites the 'male' and 'female' Love is nature only nature. And nature prohibits any kind of cover. There is no secrecy in nature. The on lookers who fail to comprehend this often live under this delusion of nature's so called mystery. Nature reveals itself in its vacillating moods 'the life giving' and the 'wrathful'. Nature is in its pure self, devoid of any cover. Surya fitted beautifully within the frame of this analogy. Surya's beauty has the fire, the heat and the upheaval of nature. Her voice, like the cold exterior of the Himalayas, and the thunder of the rains was breaking the stillness of the atmosphere. I was, nevertheless, indifferent to this novel experience. It had become dark and I was still lost in the confusion of thoughts, like yesterday sun which was lost in yesterdays evening. I exchanged views with surya on many complicated problems of life and philosophy. My attention was distracted by the image which was emerging in the waves of the Gandaki. The figure started moving towards us gradually. Hari Baba : My guru : I gasped in surprise a luminous glow emanated from his temple. With huge arms outstretched Hari Baba continued to move towards us in a steady pace. Surya was instantly affected by his arrival. She started trembling, and eventually fainted. The entire existence of the mansion also disappeared. With hands folded, I stood before my gurudeva (master), and went on looking at him. Precisely at that moment, Baba Gorakhnath also appeared on the scene with his Alakh 'Jholi' and said. "Start moving but first make, enquiries above the right path. Thorns and flowers abound in the path. You must give equal importance to both. After all, everything is an art. 'Para Kala' (Ultimate art) begets the 'creation' and destruction of 'Para Vaibhav', (Ultimate Grandeur) the two units of the same chain".

"Surya arise assume that the flux of your life in which you have been floating untill, now is like an untruth which has emerged from a truth. You have reached the stage, which can be termed as "enormous" (Vishal). Under the shade of this enormous tree you can offer a lot to the world. But you opted the role of a destroyer. The murder of your guru has become the cause of your bondage. Because of your hurry everyone's Upasansa remained unfinished. Without a man you are incomplete, and without a woman your guru Nibhaina-th, sudarshan aghori. Kanti Baba, were also incomplete. You wished to burn like a lamp. But all this perfection of 'self' was in vain. You, were indeed mistaken when you thought no man is an island and a fortress. All are insignificant, incomplete and dependent. You discovered the security of your self in the conquest of others, and for this no methods were impure to you. This was a great blunder on your part. The entire world is like a stage for 'Kaal' (fate) (in the guise of 'Rekha'.) to perform its different acts. Death is very cruel, and is totally devoid of forgiveness. Youth is a matter of pride to human being. But youth is never static, for it is exposed to the good and evil forces of life and society. Man is enchanted by the exquisitely, carved beauty of the universe. By destroying this, Rekha ushers in the process of recreation. And thus sanskara or the "Seed's are encouraged to recreate". "Fate itself is 'Rekha'. It is neither affluence nor wealth, but on the ceaseless path of life, a healthy cessation. The 'beginning' - 'Swatatva' (knowledge of self), love hatred, and desire, do not denote Rekha. It is purely an art. The characteristics of Rekha are - divinity, expansion, source of creation, destructive chain, root of creation, fire of annihilation, (harmony and 'Pran' are its inherent properties), and the power to disseminate all thoughts. The dissolution of the "Panch Mahabhoot" (five elements) also takes place, all the senses go to sleep and mind takes rest. Micro and 'Casual' bodies obtain the state of inertia. This is the definition of "Rekha". The different paths of Rekha can only be obstructed by those yogis who have surrendered themselves to Rekha and are moving around freely". A yogi is indifferent to all the pleasures of life. Do you think there is any happiness in the world? All the activities of the world finally succumb to death and destruction. The worldly pleasures are ephemeral, and only create difficult situations. Despite the awarness, man is always running after the illusion of worldliness. "Surya : Whatever you did, was also predestined, just like the other universal entanglements. Now you must start contemplating thus whom am I and what is this visible world? Why have I conceived this world with my thoughts? It was simply a 'lie' and should continue to be a 'lie'. Will it cause any damage to the world, similar, to the kind of after effect the dematerialization of your 'Mayic' palace had on the world in general ?" Why is human body reborn, and grows, even after the destruction? Birth, death, prosperity, adversity, why do these occur in a repetitive chain? Why? What relevance it has to the 'body'.Ignore all these thoughts and move ahead on your right path. You will achieve your objective. Life is, dedication and total involvement in any pursuit, When so many different ways are available to beautify life, why do you adopt destructive, and malignant means? Why do you create destructive mantras, and fatal weapons, in the form of evil thoughts. Why are you promoting such thought waves which can cause discord & disparity in the thought waves of human beings? Why do you want to divide human beings in different groups or sects? Surya : Life is an art, and absolute art (parakala) is all contagious why are you misusing this art in creating illusory installations : At the ultimate height of your objective you must think in a pure light and the world will, for ever remember your usefulness. You must forget the incidents of the past and move ahead. Within minutes, the different utterances of the yogi affected a sea change in the life of Surya. After the completion of the sermons, Baba looked at me an gave a dazzling magnetic smile. I was mesmerized by his speech. When his speech came to an end, I felt as though the night had also come to an end, and the moonlight had turned dull, by the brilliance of the sun. But this was only the figment of my imagination. Nevertheless the brilliant aura of the two celestail beings had illuminated the souls enveloped the darkness, and released them from the bondage.

'When ever our need will arise we will reappear', saying so they vanished from our sight. There was total darkness now, for the moonlight, faded away and the celestial light of the two exiled beings was no longer, there, only the soft, lapping sounds of the river waves remained. With profound affection we gazed into each others moist eyes. A strange smile lingered on our lips, despite the tears in the eyes. We moved towards the ancient hut of surya, which was formerly a beautiful illusory mansion. It was purely a 'Mayie conception a mockery and surya was merely its instrument. When the morning came I got ready to depart from that place, and sought her permission to do so. I wanted to cherish the memories of the 19 days which I had spent in her company, but decided to do otherwise for I was eager to resume my journey. The memory of my first meeting with surya flashed across my minds eye and I was lost in the recollection of my past days in her company. The recolleciton "On my return journey from the Himalaya caves via mustang valley, 'Muktinath' via Gumsum I had come to this place, and surya, as a beautiful Nepalese woman had greeted me at the door step of her magnificent mansion. It had become dark, and the over cast sky with frequent flashes of lighting and thunder were making me rather uncomfortable. I was deperately on the look out for some resting place for the night. At this critical moment surya attracted my attention. The existence of the mansion in the wilderness was indeed a matter of surprise to me. My natural presumption was that it must belong to some royal family, and its members or officials must be making use of it once in a while. The enchanting beauty of the Himalayan peaks could be viewed from the courtyard of this mansion. Before I could cross the bridge, surya respectfully invited me to her house and offered me shelter for the night. The minute I stepped inside I was attracted by the strange confusion of anguished voices, and the formidable new side of surya almost frightened me. My thinking power, my thought, all were, as though, lost in a desolate lane. But the 'seeds' of my 'sansakran' sprouted in the form of spiritual chain, and purified my path. She could not exercise her influence on that path, she started trembling and fell on the ground. All her companions stood in a line, and started requesting me. "Please release us from her bondage. This tattered old woman is a yogini a yakshini she can assume any human form with the help of her powers. She has strange supernatural powers like yogaimaya. But, she can not endanger you. Even we, can not touch you. I was simply over whelmed by their pleadings. Surya soon recovered, came and sat next to me, and began to impress me with her talks on duties and 'Karmas'. She displayed a strange duality in her attitude. Her intense feeling for freedom was often replaced by her desire to hold hers sway over mere. I was looked after in the traditional 'satwick' way. The flowing waters of Gandaki often evoked negative within me, but I mollified the effect by recollecting the pious emotions and getting immersed in my 'self'. And today I was ready to bid farewell to the hospitality of 'surya'. Between yesterday's surya and today surya there was a world of difference. Yesterday she was yogmaya a yakshini today, she is still a yogmaya but her yakshini self is not active. At that time she was alone, all her companion had departed. She looked scared and wanted to say so many things, but could not muster enough courage to do so. And finally I had to leave that place. Even her emotional break down failed to put an restraint on me. In a detached manner I started walking briskly and very soon I was on the other side of the bridge. We were the two 'Jivatmas' on the opposite banks in search of the liberation (Mukiti). In a pernsive mood we stood for sometime, and then turned around and started walking in our respective directions. Since our thought waves were similar, we did not turn back even to have each others last glimpse. I reached 'Pakhara' after 2 day, and from this point, I resumed my onward journey. Surya is still there, on the banks of the same Gandaki river which echoes the past and the future, through its confluence. In the year 1977 poornima day, I again came across surya, in the temple of 'Swayambhonath' in Kathmandu. I was with Alfred an English man (Brijanand). He was the proprietor of the Kalinga Airlines in India.

Surya just came and stood before me. I could discern a remarkable change in her. She expressed her profound gratefulness towards Baba Gorakhnath, and clasped my feet over whelmingly. People around us, watched this scene with surprise and interest. Surya is a strange, beautiful woman. Although she is a yoga maya and yakshini yet her penance is pure, and taintless. Her entire being is now imbued with purity. In the midst of our talks, she decided to come with us. Camera 'men', belonging to the film world were busy clicking our photographs, for a dazzling beauty with a Sanyasi, was rare sight. We came back to Shanbhu 'Lodge' where we had been staying for the last three days. Next morning we left for 'Matesari Sangu' which is situated on the border of Nepal and china and also visited the last point of Kadari Road. Our entire day was spent in admiring the beauty of waterfalls and when evening descended we managed to acquire some accommodation in a Nepalese home. Alfred was a man of sexual mentality (Bhogi and looked upon woman as an object of physical gratification and surya too, was a woman. Surya's frequent laughter was an indication that she was amused at his thought waves. She was lying next to me in a quiet and still position, obviously in a pensive mood. I interrupted her "what are you thinking surya? She laughingly replied" I was trying to add the past and present, and also thinking about this English man. As a matter of fact, my powers are still with me, although my thoughts have undergone a change. Kapildeva Muni, if you can give your consent to my proposal, we can go to my old hut on the banks of the Gandaki I readily accepted her proposal, however, Alfred was a little apprehensive of the prospective journey. Fear was stamped on his face. When I told him that surya was aware of his sensual thoughts, he immediately sought surya's forgiveness. With the help of her yogic powers she transformed herself into an enormous woman, picked us up in her arms along with our lugguage, and within no time she brought us to her hut. Alfred was trembling with fear at the sequence of events. I consoled him and he became a little subdued. When surya reverted to her normal self Alfred felt a little relieved, and went off to sleep in the corner of the hut. I was aware of Surya's enormous powers, but I had never seen her making use of them. This was my first experience. And during our stay, we learnt a lot from surya. We travelled all over Tibet, and visited many saints who lived in the caves of the mountain. We often exchanged knowledge of our 'Sadhana' and accepted necessary changes. Finally, we said good bye to surya and departed from her dwelling place. Enriched with surya's thoughts, I continued to travel all over Nepal and often resorted to the wondrous miracles of yoga and in this manner, I again came back to the banks of the 'Narayani River'. In one of the caves. I came across Pawan Puri Maharaj, immersed in his samadhi. I spent some time near him in a meditative trance (sadhana). Without any food or water I stayed in this position till Pawan Puri ji came out of his samadhi. His single glance had a rejuvinating effect on me and I recovered my energies. After I had spent few days in his exalted company, he asked me to visit the 'Fair' at Jankpur Dham. I left for Janakpur, and on the way I kept on thinking about the validity of this suggestion. Janakpur stirred many memories of the past, which had played vital role in my life. I could feel that something new was in the offing, which would be revealed in course of time. A congregation of Sadhus will be at the Mala, and a lot can be learnt from them, this thought made me feel better. Thus motivated I continued my journey, and within few days I was in Janakpur. In the premises of the temple I found a little camping space along with another sadhu. The whole place was simply teeming with sadhus from various sects, and most of them were known to me. I had been to this place earlier and was familiar with every hook and corner of the place, but as a tonsured sadhu this was my first visit. I was clad only in a kopin and a sheet, with the result for three days I remained incognito. There was indeed, a world of difference in the past and the present. One day early in the morning a young girl spotted me and in utter surprise yelled out "Oh mother, kunwar Saheb, Pilot Saheb, : and she ran away from the place. I could very well imagine the future course of events. And true to my misgivings in a short while I was surrounded by the familiar faces of young boys and girls, and all of them clamoured for my attention. The news of my arrival, very soon, spread like wild fire in the whole of Janakpur. Consequently the entire temple was flooded with thousands of my well wishers. The inhabitants of Janakpur had always harboured ill feelings for the sadhus and this was apparent in their aggressiveness. My friends, and well wishors, thought that I was the victim of the hypnotic spell of these sadhus, so they decided to bash them up and teach them a lesson. The anger of the mass, infused fear in the

sadhus, and they became apprehensive of their security. When I learnt about the confusion, I came out of the temple, and found myself face to face with Rajshree. The moment, she saw me, she clung to me and said "Sir what have you done to yourself? Who is responsible for your condition? Very soon, Lachumal who was the leader of the college came up to me and said". We will not spare these sadhus their magic has rendered you thus. I looked at them affectionately and said - "Son, you should not talk like this, come let us go towards the lake" I went over to Ramlal's house and sat there, shortly the entire crowd came to me. I tried to subdue their anger and narrated to them the entire happenings which led me to adopt the path of a 'Sanyasi'. But they did not believe in my story readily. The intervention of the principal, and the collector however dispelled their doubts and the crowd eventually dispersed. Nevertheless they refused to show any resilience in their attitudes towards the sadhus, where as, I had deep reverence for 'Sahus', and Saints. But when I came back to the temple an unimaginable sight greeted me - two drunken sadhus engaged in a brawl, I was stunned by this unbecoming spectacle. Next day, couple of boys came over to me, and took me to a panshop, where in a small room they had imprisoned a psuedo saint known as Shamkhugiri and a girl, He was a renowned man, and to find him in these disgraceful circumstances was a humiliating experience for me. The boys said "now you are the witness to the immoral activities of some sadhus. Every year they indulge in these shameful deeds. We were aware of this, only we wanted you to face the ugly reality. And because of this reason we have imprisoned them. They are real hypocrite. Temple authorities provide them free 'Ration' which they sell in the open market and in this way they make money. With this money they buy liquor and indulge in other forbidden luxuries. Why are you spoiling your life in the clutches of these hypocrites? Sir : We are unable to comprehend this". Although I some how, managed to rescue the Sadhu from his predicament, yet I could not over look the many incidents which spoke of the indecent mannerisms of the 'Babas'. One day the prevalent situation look an ugly turn, when a sadhu named Bharti misbehaved with a young woman who was passing by .Instantly he was taken to task by the public, and given a sound thrashing. The police intervened, and saved him, other wise he would have been a dead man. The youngsters were in a violent mood, for the girl was the student of their college. With great difficulty I managed to rescue the sadhu from the wrath of the students, and with the collectors help, safely deposited him on the Indian border. I was greatly perturbed, for my visit to this place as a sadhu, was turning into a curse. And I went through an acute mental agony. I considered myself solely responsible for the ugly turn the entire 'Mela' had taken. Since only two days were left for the 'Mela' to come to an end, I decided to run away from the chaotic circumstances. But before I could do so one day, in the early hours of the morning my guru appeared before me. All my friends, and acquaintances, were stunned to see another Mahatama standing in the waters of the lake, Although he was in the waters, yet he did not seem to be so. I waded through the waters and reached him. The Guru, took me with him very far almost to the centre of the lake. Very soon, the entire bathing ghat, was I inundated with thousands of on lookers. When my most revered Gurudeva gently clasped me to his heart, a strange shiver ran through my body. He said that too much love for fellow sadhus was not advisable. In the pursuit of truth, these are the bondages. Sadhus means a truthful one or 'sat'. One should have the discerning eye to know true sadhu. 'Math', Akhara, and Ashram, these are mere social establishments for habitation. It is not wise to get involved in these petty emotions, at this stage of life. The path of truth transcends the shallowness and trivialities of life. Time is the vital fact which highlights the discrimination between the past history and the present history. The circumstances too lack homogeneity. In the past, the Ashram system nurtured the entire world. It was the centre of education, and even the rules, sought the guidance of Rishi and Munis in various administrative spheres.

Today's Mahatamas on the contrary are pursuing the politicians, voluntarily. You have to insulate yourself from such mundane distractions and treat this body as an Ashram, and, progress inwardly. In future as per the dictates of time, glorious path will await you. You must have ,by now, seen drunken, so called spiritual saints of India. But all are not like this. There are many who are true saints. Look at them, they are the least affected by the pollution of this place. Their attention is focused only on 'Ram' they have become 'Rammaya' (immersed in 'Ram') 'Janaki' stands for 'Prakrati', 'Laksman' represents power, 'Bharat' is a symbol of idealism, 'Shatrughan' of patience and Dhasharath symbolizes the victory over the senses. Pawan Puri has sent you here to conquer the truth in the form of 'Ram'. Now, you come with me on a tour. You can join the group of Naga Mahamta who will proceed to the 'Math' after the conclusion of the Mela. Later on, I will also join you, 'You can go now', with this parting sentence he took a dip in the water and did not come up. I swam towards the shore and came

out of the water. I was immediately surrounded by the curious waiting crowd, and was showered with different questions. "Who was he? What was he saying? Where has he disappeared?" I did not give nay reply to the question. Only, my laughter was the answer, I quickly changed my wet clothes and quietly sat down on my seat. People waited for hours for the Baba to come out of the waters, but the waiting was of no avail. Shortly Ramanand Tyagi accompanied by Awadhoot Baba and Khaptarwale Baba came, touched my head affectionately and took their respective seats. Then he gave the account of his ascetic life, and also threw light on his experiences in the company of Hari Baba, In the past, I had spoken to many sadhus, who had undergone arduous penances for many years, in forest, and mountains. These Mahatamas often suffered from various physical ailments because of the severe penances of the past. I was filled with a distaste - and disenchantment, towards the methods adopted by these Mahatmas, I was not ready to devote such long difficult years for the divine realization. My gloom was dispelled, by Awadhoot Baba's timely wise utterance. Life's achievements, stem form the individual's 'Karmas' and 'Sanskaras', provided how pure and determined he is in his thoughts and who is the 'Mahapurush' whose association, he is blessed with. You have got the blessings of Hari Baba who so ever have received the blessings of Hari Baba, have been fortunate, for them most difficult path has always been obstacle free you. Therefore, you will attain your goal in a simple and easy manner. But, you must get rid of the occasional mental conflicts. The inherent truth will emerge naturally. He gave me his blessing and retired to his seat. In a short while, I found myself surrounded by a group of familiar faces. They appeared to be in a happy mood, and were keen to offer many things to me, but were afraid to do so. Now and then, they touched my feet to show their love and reverence for me. They had piled up grains and sweets next to me in the form of offerings. After I had told them to distribute the sweetmeat, I came out of the temple premises and walking briskly came to the 'Dhasarath Tal', and lay in its garden. The children who had followed me, were also there. In the midst of the crowd of visitors. I some how managed to spend the night. And when it was still dark, I left the temple to join the procession of the thousands of departing Naga Sadhus. My Guru joined me at Darbhanga, railway station and for sixteen days we journeyed from one 'Math' to another with the procession. We were given a hearty reception in all the 'Math' we visited. The Naga Sadhu's often displayed their whims and idiosyncrasies when ever the food was served to them. Even the petty issue like 'Milk' and 'Ghee' sparked rows between different groups of sadhus. All these incidents gave us new insight into the modern life style of the Naga Sadhu's. Finally, when we reached sitagarhi we detached ourselves from the procession, and re entered into the territory of Nepal. Within few days we were back in our cave, on the bank of the Narayani river. During this period I involved myself in the deep and extensive study of Vedas, Upanishads and Purans. I also gathered knowledge about the 'Math' establishment, style of the sadhus, and their mannerisms. I learnt to judge the earth, and cultivated the tremendous power for walking. I further learnt that a man's dietary habits are related to the physical thoughts. A healthy mind, maintains a clean and a healthy body. In fact, my recent experience unfolded a world of knowledge before me, and helped me in unwinding my mental knots. Many days were spent in this routine, and finally one day Gurudeva entrusted me with a job, and asked me to proceed on my journey to do the needful. And so once again I embarked on the ceaseless path of my life to surrender to 'Parakala' (Culmination of art) with the help of 'Kala' (Art) and till today I am still moving on the same path of life. I halted many a times when I came across the affluence of wealth (Laksmi) the blessings of saraswati and the message of 'Partatva' of Kala. But I did not succumb to any of these forces and remained intact. I faced many ups and downs in the course of my endless journey. I willingly relinquished all my wealth and the luxuries of life I wiped out the 'pride' born from learning and became immune to the humiliation, to which I was often subjected to. I denounced the association which was in the form of art, accepted the challenge of Rekha in the form of 'cessation' closed all the doors leading to the outside world, and withdrew to my innerself where the sole domination of 'I' was there and nothing beyond this. Many Mayic (illusory) creations of nature could not 'Jeopardize my journey. The Himalayan caves gave me refuge. And 'Yoga', became the way of my life. I kept away form the human touch of the people of Nainital. And many a times had a close brush with 'death'.

Despite the many turning points, and cross roads, unwavered I continued my journey. The wind gave me the shivers, I got the heat from the fire, the sky gave the light, the earth offered the rest, and the mountains evoked the knowledge of shiva (or Shivatatva) and conveyed the message of the 'intertia'. The sky symbolized the greatness, the waters unravelled the mystery of the 'Vishnu Tatva', and conveyed the wisdom that all the forms should be imbibed. The fire that burnt selflessly taught the lesson, how to do away with ego, desire, disparity, thirst and hunger. Brilliance made me aware of the 'micro' and the 'earth' taught me the lesson of generosity and patience. The cycle of Nature moved incessantly and there was no rest, only action. If I also took rest, I thought, I would become the victim of 'Rekha', and would be lost in the life cycle of birth and death. I sat in the funeral ground on the banks of the Surya river, and watched the sight of burning corpses. My attention was often distracted by the myraid activities of nainital. I often thought of the glory of the great saints who had life and death within their control. Every where the supreme importance of nature was visible. One should keep on moving, and life can be defined thus, - thinking in this vein, I got up and started moving on my path. I came across many travellers who were bowed down with the burden of past births, but undeterred I continued my journey. I often, recieved guidance from Gurudeva. I helped the fellow travellers to find their lost path, and freed them from the bonds.

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