A Cock & a Cunt

A Love Story
- A cock and a cunt - Adrian burst out laughing how original! Your tongue on my tip! My lips on your clit! What poetry! - he insisted as if Beth didnt get the rst analogy. This was neither his nor her idea - this posh-bar date on the beach - they never meant to take it that far, but sometimes you have to take a chance and tonight they both did. They took a chance with a stranger, you know - the kind youre bound to meet, they rush at you from down the street or you touch in crowd and your eyes meet - time freezes, space dissolves, voices are eclipse by the choirs of your mind and all you can hear is each others hearts beating, beating, beating. Then you usually say something stupid, and the stranger responds with something silly and you both laugh. Its okay, youre not listening, it doesnt matter - youre communicating with pheromones, ephemeral gestures and lustful smiles. Then you take a chance - you make-up an excuse to hit a bar, to get dinner, to return to your place - it doesnt matter - youd follow that stranger to the end of the earth and theyd follow you, but you know the truth. You know that this fairytales leads to an orgasm, at least you hope so - and Beth really, really did. - Well, she shrugged, perhaps we could start with a kiss and take it from there... - No, no - protested the young he-man - I want to know, right now! Will you whip me? Will you dig your nails in my back while screaming - fuck, fuck, fuck me! - ?

 Beth had seen her share of freaks on the dating scene, but Adrian was setting new standards in that eld, which - curiously - intrigued and exulted Beth more than she would admit later. It wasnt easy to nd a decent person to sleep with in this town, and although she wasnt quite sure what she meant by decent, it had been a in long time she met anyone who was. On his end, Adrian was just as desperate in his quest to nd someone decently decadent, and although he wasnt sure what he meant by decently either, he was certain about the denition of decadent 1. That being said, they werent hopeless enough to give up yet - she was thirty-four, but could still pass for twenty-eight, or at least she liked to think so - he was too old to care and still too young to tell a womans age without asking, which he knew never to do on a rst date, so instead - when they took a seat at this posh-bar on the beach - Adrian had opened the conversation by probing her sex-life - only to nd that the lack thereof was a much more embarrassing subject than her age. Nevertheless, no one had spoken to her like this since the boys she used to play with in the high-school locker-rooms two decades ago, so instead of being appalled by his bluntness, Beth felt her guts churn butteries in the fairy-dusted air, magically trickling down in the snow-globe of her emotions. Adrian felt the same, well...perhaps the source of his joy was a just a few inches lower than his guts, but lets call it even. This date wasnt about guts - it was fate. Then - of course, it was about getting laid, so in that respect, Adrian was a bit more honest than his date, but he liked her lips - a lot - plump plum-red lips, her soft-tanned Decadent: n. a member of a group of late-19th-cent. French and English poets associated with the Aesthetic Movement. Also - n. a degenerate, depraved, unprincipled, intemperate, corrupt, immoral, licentious, sybaritic, hedonistic, sinful, pleasure-seeking, self-indulgent pervert.
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skin and those shoulders, those legs - Adrian really liked her legs and would let her get away with anything as long as he got to watch walk away. He had seen many women run away from him when he stopped irting with them, or rather - when he started to ask them questions like the one Beth was debating about, - Perhaps... she hesitantly replied after going through the list - the whip, the nails, the decadent howling and Adrian nearly jumped in his seat, - Perhaps!? he presumptuously mocked - to fuck or not to fuck, that is the question - you aint looking for romantic love, are you? - Perhaps, she repeated with the same indifference, which said more about her feelings than if she had gone through the trouble of smiling, curling her ngers around her hair, rolling her eyes, bitting her tongue and spreading her legs. - Aint you down to fuck? rephrased Adrian as if he was talking to a ve years old, immediately regretting his tone of voice. He was relieved when he nally heard a positive reply, - Sure, but... - Butt what? he snickered with his eyes on the bentover waitress cleaning up the table to their left. - ...but I thought we could get to know each other rst, argued Beth while brushing her hair back with one hand and adjusting her bra back in place with the other to get Adrians attention back. - We can talk in the morning , he said distractedly as he painfully un-glued his eyes from the bumpy behind of the waitress - Ill buy breakfast - he then offered with an over-stereotypical wink. - What a gentleman you are - declared Beth in an attempt to sound elegantly Victorian, but ended up sounding like Yoda, which disturbed Adrian for a moment because he found that strangely attractive and he had never

been disbursed before by anything he found attractive, no matter how strange. Yoda draws the line - he thought to himself, why him? Adrian liked to ask himself questions, why now? - to understand himself better, why not? - and this Yoda-complex seemed a matter worth pondering, nevertheless, Beth had call him a gentleman and he couldnt let that slide, - Obviously not, he laughed off, and if you didnt get it yet, Im dont want to chit-chat about where youre from and what you do and what you like and whether we have anything in common. Unless you dont want to fuck - he added - but thats a different story. - How so? - asked Beth as if she was genuinely intrigued. - Because then you pay the bill, chuckled Adrian as he gulped the at end of his beer and waved the bartender for another round. - Men usually try to be more ... subtle about their ... goal, she seemed to search for those italicized words the way most of her sex-partners had looked for her G-spot - with dubious hope to hit the nail on the head and a look of desperation when they inevitably fail to do so. - You mean: theyre full of shit! translated Adrian as he slammed in st on the table, sending the pretzel bowl ying across the aisle - And no need to put the blame on men, woman! Were all playing the same stupid little games, he deantly pointed out. Theres nothing subtle about it! Either the goal is to fuck or else were just having a friendly conversation, but why pretend that were fooling each other here? Do we really need to go through these silly little rituals? How many drinks does it take before you know if its okay to get in bed with a man? How many words do you have to exchange before your panties get wet? We can talk about it all night, but if we do... - What if we do? interrupted Beth as if she hadnt already decided to let Adrian into the Holy of Holies to

make great offerings of sperm on the freshly shaved altar of her pubis. - Then you can go fuck yourself, darling - Adrian snapped right back. It doesnt take ten seconds to know if youre attracted to someone - physically, I mean. Then if youre looking for love, well... - he let his words hang in the air for moment to see the reaction in her eyes and saw nothing worth criticizing - ...well, then were both fucked! - Whats your problem with Love? - I dont have any problem with things that dont exist, calmly stated the young he-man as if it was a universal truth and as far as he was concerned, it was. Adrian had had this argument a thousand times with a thousand women and since he was still single after all this pointless arguing, he had no reason to think differently. Nevertheless, bickering about love with women was just as absurd as denying the existence of a historical Jesus with New-Born Evangelists or questioning the validity of the Big Bang with a MIT graduate. Besides, being a testosteronepumping macho he-man always put him on the wrong side of the dispute, however, he sworn to remain true to his ideals even if his honesty ended up robbing him of free easy pussy from time to time. For Adrian, Love was a fat, hairy, blurry myth like Big Foot, a mirage tempting thirty travelers in the desolate desert of bachelorhood and he would sooner believe in Santa Claus than admit that true unconditional love ever existed. - Is that so? challenged Beth as if Adrian had claimed that the Earth was in fact at. - Yea, babe! You know anybody whos in love? he intransigently retorted. - Babe? she repeated incredulously before admitting I used to know people who thought they were in love. And others who still think they are. And others who want to be.

 - And which one are you? inquired Adrian with his elbows on the table and his head between his hands like a wondering cherub. - Im just dating, confessed Beth, a bit bashful. She felt the need to emphasize that she was just dating and toot sweet wondered why she was still trying to pretend that she wasnt looking for a good lay just like everyone else on the dating scene. - Fucking around then, are you? Adrian translated once again as if this kind of euphemism was his native language. - Sometimes, hesitantly replied Beth - it depends... - On what? tactlessly sought out Adrian to show his growing impatience and the mid-hard on shining in his eyes. - On whether... - started Beth, then she stopped as if she was thinking about it for the rst time - on whether I feel like by the end of dinner. - And how do you feel, right now? - I dont know, youre ... unusual... - Not so subtle, am I? - Not at all, smiled Beth against herself - but at least youre goal is clear! - Good, reected Adrian as he lit up a smoke - very good, he repeated while he stared her down, letting just enough time pass for Beth to make that quick math by which women balance their emotions to make irrational decisions. Beth didnt want to say anything more just yet as if any spoken word might betray her strange attraction to this strange man. He might have been ve or six years younger than her, but already displayed those early wrinkles caused by too many repressed smiles and that reminded Beth of her own frown lines and her stretch marks and she could feel his gaze run along her skin like a tongue licking her cold sweat.

 - Im easy going, she nally broke the silence, but Im not that easy, Adrian. - Who said you were? innocently backed-off Adrian although he knew that she was even easier than that. - Its just the way you talk - you should be glad Im still listening, said Beth in self-defense as she realized that she had been playing swallowing his words and answering his questions without even thinking of leaving the bar. - If you wanted to get offended, honey - youre ten minutes too late. Perhaps, you just shouldnt be dating men you happen to meet in the street, insisted - Does that make me a whore? - I hope not, he chuckled, I cant afford a whore much less a lover. - So what do you want? inquired Beth as if she had suddenly become the interrogator and Adrian the suspect. - A woman - pure and simple, he retorted, a woman who needs a man if that still exists, but Im starting to have my doubts. - How about a relationship? she pushed further, feeling the table turn under her feet. - Thats a sinking ship, babe - and Im not going down with it. - But you do go down? asked Beth almost against herself. - If theres anything I do... - How did you ever get like this? Someone broke you heart? she continued to lower herself to Adrians level. - That would required a heart to break... - Indubitably, so - she sighted, but you never loved? - Of course, I have! - What was her name? - Who said anything about a woman? - A man then? - Just myself, aint that enough?

 - Hmm... considered Beth, thats more than most folks achieve. - Do you love yourself ? asked Adrian. - Sometimes... Sometimes, not so much... - And did it ever have anything to do with the man in your bed? Beth thought about it for a moment, scanning through her boyfriends, lovers, her fuck buddies and onenight stands and placidly repeated, - Sometimes... Sometimes, not so much... repeated Beth - Then perhaps you should stop pretending that love is something other people bring into you life and just admit that its a power you hold within yourself at - all - times. Its like having soul or money - you cant depend on others to provide it to you. - But - Beth instinctually defended herself - love doesnt mean anything if its not shared, you know - it takes two to tango - that kind of thing. - It takes two to fuck, you mean - sure, yea - but romantic love is just in your head. Its a story you tell yourself and sometimes another person is telling themselves the same lie, so it sounds like the truth, but it doesnt make it so. One morning you wake up and the magic is gone and youre all by yourself again - how do you feel then? - Miserable... conceded Beth, unless youre the one leaving. - To torture or be tortured, is that what you call love? - Its not love by the time it turns to torture - or at least it doesnt feel like it, she insisted - otherwise no one would get into it. - Are you sure about that? Why do people get drunk? Why do they get high? Why do they ll their apartment with crap they dont need? Love is just another addiction to justify their lust - to make sure they have a hole to stick their dick into - or vice versa - Love is just the end of

their quest, a pretty pink ribbon wrapped around their defeat to stand on their own. - She really broke your heart, didnt she? rehashed Beth as if she was throwing a twelve inch knife at the young he-man who shot her down with a deadly stare. - She opened my eyes, Adrian spat out - and I respect her for that. Folks dont like to be together as much as they fear being alone - they like to project this image holding hands on the beach, kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower, sharing ice-cream, making plans, getting married, making children and getting old together. And all along they forget who they are, lost in the illusion of us - just the two of us - forever - or until one nds someone better and the other is left behind to rot in his own misery. Even in death, it never ends well... - And whats your alternative? - Honesty, soberly declared Adrian. Just fuck me or be my friend or get the hell out here, but - please - dont pretend that this is special. That were soul-mates. That were meant for each other. That this is forever. Dont play games pretending that your lust can magically turn into love - and dont capitalize it into Love - for fuck sake! Its just a cock and a cunt - animals do it. Flowers do it - it doesnt take a heart or a brain or a mind or anything more than your savage lust to feel good. Its just a guarantee on the cycle of life, a primal, bestial act engraved in your gonads. Its neither sacred, nor sinful - dont believe anything those French poets told you, or what your priest or your parents taught you about the connection between your heart and your cunt - theres none. Youre heart is just a bloodpumping machine in your chest and this delusional feeling of love is a concept brewed in your reptilian brain to justify your attachment to the father of your children, but were not having kids tonight, honey - and the more we talk, the more I feel that we wont even fuck! - Would that be so bad?

 - Not at all - thats why I asked you to make up your mind in the rst place. This whole world seemed focused on perpetuating the idea that when two individuals meet - may they be hetero or homo or bi-sexual - that they should try to seduce each other, playing subtle games, sending subliminal messages to paraphrase their true intentions as if the straight-forward bluntness of their sexuality would be offensive. - Perhaps, folks just like to delay the pleasure, suggested Beth - to take it slow instead of rushing into an act they might regret. - The only reason they might have any regrets is because they waste so much time getting down to business. Whether it last a half-hour or an entire lifetime, they wont know until they get down to it. And even when they do, theyre never honest during that verbal foreplay! They always select the bits and pieces of their life which makes them look good. No one starts a conversation by displaying all their defaults, their crimes and their failures. Even when you spend all your time with your beloved, it often takes weeks, sometimes months or years, to see their true selves that person behind the stories they told you. To discover their habits. To understand their psychology. To know them as you know yourself and - if they truly loooooove you - it makes you wonder why they never bothered telling you the truth to begin with! - Okay, acknowledge Beth - I get that. Ive been in love with the idea of someone before, only to nd out later that their was a huge gap between reality and the ction I believed in, but it was wonderful...that is, before the downfall, of course. - And it hurt, didnt it? - Yes, she whispered although she didnt mean to. - Yes! almost shouted Adrian to counterbalance her sad, desperate voice trailing off across the bar like the ghostly chains of her past relationships.

 - Yes, reiterated Beth with more courage - yes, it hurt, but I wouldnt have it any other way. Im not a little girl, young man - I knew exactly what I was getting into and I took a chance with those men and some lasted longer than others, but it doesnt mean that I regret any of those decisions, do you? - I love my scars more than the women who left them, simply replied Adrian - doesnt mean Im a masochist either. You cant just get off pain and humiliation for the rest of your life - especially when you know what youre getting into. - Youre such a romantic at heart, babe - jested Beth as to piss Adrian off - why do you hate love so bad? - For the same reason I despise mediocrity, riposted the young he-man - the easy way is rarely the best way. - And whats so easy about it if it hurts so much? - Its not pain for the sake of sake pain, Beth - its pain for the illusion of pleasure and the only reason it hurts is because you delayed - not the pleasure of getting fucked but the truth about how fucked-up you are. But dont let me stop you - theres plenty of nicer, smarter, funnier and cuter guys in this bars, knock yourself out! Play out the same scenario youve gone through a dozen times before - fall in love - deep - and forget about everything Ive said - Im just playing another game - less subtle, more straight to the goal but dont let me stop you, babe - they wont talk about sex until theyre done fucking you, but if thats what you like, why are we even talking? - Are you giving up? Are you getting soft on me, babe? double-dared Beth as she reached under the table and grabbed his cock, only to nd a rock-hard erection - Ill take that as a no - she added before letting go off his prick. - And youre calling me romantic? echoed Adrian to avenge himself with a hint of ashback humor. - You said youd buy breakfast, right? replied Beth

 - Dont bother, babe - you ask way too many fucking questions... declared Adrian as he nished his drink, put out his cigaret and walked toward the exit without looking back. - You goddamn pussy! suddenly burst out Beth - you bloody coward! You jealous love-hating freak! - she insisted. Adrian slowly turned around as to nd out who was being insulted and smiled when he realized that he was the target of her passionate curses, which infuriated Beth all the more - You bitter frustrated jerk-off ! You callow dick-wad! Yea Im talking to you - Mr Cock&Cunt! Youve been thinking with the wrong head and I dont mean your three-piece gun-rack, you pretentious lust-preaching pervert! Why do you have to make it so complicated? Its just fucking dammit - vociferated Beth in the middle of the now silent bar. - Thats all I needed to hear, babe! Take you coat, grinned Adrian as he leaned over and kissed her neck - lets go!