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By Nathan Weaver
A Pretty Girl is Like a Melody by Irving Berlin: Lyrics Recorded by John Steel
FADE UP FROM BLACK. EXT. LILLY'S APARTMENT, NIGHTTIME. FADE TO BLACK. In the black we hear silence, then it is interrupted by an unknown noise. We suddenly hear two claps; on the second clap, the light turns on. INT. LILLY'S BEDROOM. LILLY is sitting up in her bed, blanket covering her from the waist down (and yes she's covered from the waist up, don't get any ideas). She looks about the room frantically, we see nothing or no one. Her door is closed. NOTE: there is an exterior window in her room. After having thoroughly examined the room from her bed, she lays back under her blanket and claps twice--light goes out. Silence. Another noise accompanied by two claps and she's sitting up again. She quickly surveys the room and nothing is different. She sighs in frustration and lies down violently and covers herself. Two claps and the light is out. Silence. A door creaks, two claps and the light is back on. The camera is looking upon LILLY in her bedroom through the now open door. CUT TO BLACK. WHITE TEXT on BLACK SCREEN, "TWO MONTHS EARLIER." LILLY VOICE OVER (VO) I've been noticing stuff lately. INT. OFFICE, DAYTIME. LILLY sits at a desk, her desk is next to MINDY'S DESK. MINDY What do you mean? LILLY Just... I don't know--weird things. Like I'll come home to my apartment and I know I put something away and it's out. Or, stuff just isn't where I thought it was. And I end up spending twenty minutes trying to find it. I don't know... it's just weird. MINDY Dude, you know what you should totally do? You should put up a camera while you're not there and try to capture what's going on. LILLY You and your ghost hunts, Mindy. Never mind. There's a perfectly rational explanation. MINDY Yeah, and you can catch it on camera. LILLY No, it's called I'm losing it. I need a life. I work too much. MINDY Page
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Well, do this for me--when you leave, close all the doors. When you come home, if there is an open door you know it wasn't you. LILLY How do you come up with this stuff? MINDY Someday you'll go through your own divorce and understand much, young padawan. INT. LILLY'S APARTMENT. QUICK CLIPS to music of LILLY being insanely meticulous about where she leaves/arranges stuff; she closes every door and then leaves--taking one last scan of the living room before shutting the door. Also, clips of coming home in the evening and checking everything. This montage of clips should represent several mornings and evenings, not just one. That is, different outfits and hairdos. And possibly splice the same mundane activities into an almost frame-by-frame animation of time lapse (make sense? If not check this for an example). I worded that horribly. LILLY VO Nothing. Nada. Zilch. INT. RESTAURANT, DAYTIME. LILLY and MINDY are stuffing their faces on lunch break. LILLY Mucho nothing-at-all-O. MINDY That is weird. (beat) Does stuff ever happen while you're home? LILLY No--I don't think so. (takes bite) OH, great. Why did you say that? Now I'm paranoid. MINDY Have you talked to your landlord about any of this? LILLY (sarcastically emphatic) No, I am not talking to my landlord. EXT. LILLY'S APARTMENT, THE EXTERIOR DOOR. LANDLORD'S hand knocks on door. LILLY answers. LILLY Oh, yes... (she runs to kitchen counter and comes back with a check) here's the rent. LANDLORD Thanks. (examines, then pockets check) You do realize you're 20 days early, right? LILLY Yeah, yeah--I know. I don't know, I just felt like getting a head start this month. LANDLORD Alright. LANDLORD starts to walk away. LILLY Oh, wait, (steps outside door) random thought--totally random. (breathes in) Um, I, you know... you never like come in my apartment, do you? Like, you know, check on things? Do your landlord thing... Page
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(clears throat) LANDLORD No. LILLY Yeah, I know... just... random, you know... LANDLORD Why? LILLY No reason. LANDLORD Stuff going missing? LILLY No. LANDLORD Misplaced? BEAT. LILLY Yeah. LANDLORD Sometimes things like that happen. AWKWARD PAUSE. LANDLORD See you next month. LILLY Yeah--next month. LANDLORD walks away, LILLY stands in confused thought. CUT. INT. LILLY'S APARTMENT, KITCHEN--MOMENTS LATER. She sits at the table, with an open box and looks thumbs through a manual. CUT. INT. LILLY'S BEDROOM, LATER THAT NIGHT. LILLY sits in bed, blanket around waist, looking once more at the manual. She places the manual on her nightstand and claps twice. The light goes out.... some music or ambient noise takes into a straight CUT where we are looking at her through the open door again--from the beginning. We've come full circle. She frantically jumps out of bed, grabs something and scurries to the door. She peaks through the crack of the door into the darkness of the apartment. She opens the door the rest of the way, grips a baseball bat above her head like she's ready to hit a home run--should the occasion call for it. She walks into the hall, turns on the light. Walks into the office, turns the light on and looks. Walks into the living room and turns the light on. She scans the living room and sees nothing. She walks through the living room, analyzing the kitchen as she does, looking behind the couch and so on. We cut to a wide-shot of her walking across the living room towards the bathroom. Somewhere during this sequence, we are going to insert PRETTY GIRL hiding Page
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somewhere. The goal is to make PRETTY GIRL unseen during the first viewing, but to be picked up upon multiple viewings. LILLY does not find PRETTY GIRL and retreats to bed, turning all lights off as she does. She gets back in bed, pulls blanket over her and claps twice. MINDY VO And there was nothing? CUT to OFFICE. LILLY Nothing, nada, zilch. MINDY What are you waiting on? Do it. LILLY sighs. CUT. INT. OFFICE, BOSS'S OFFICE--LATER THAT DAY. LILLY enters. LILLY Hey, um--I was wondering if I could borrow one of the cameras for the weekend. BOSS What for? LILLY I'd rather not say. BOSS Ah, a sex tape. LILLY No. BOSS Then why are you so ashamed of it? LILLY It's a wedding. BOSS Why couldn't you just say that? LILLY Because it's complicated, it should've been my wedding. But he stood me up. BOSS And then he asks you to film his new wedding? What a jerk. LILLY Well, we're still friends. BOSS If you're friends, I don't see what the big deal is.
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LILLY (sighs) You wanna know why you're having trouble understanding this? BOSS Why? LILLY You're a guy. BEAT. LILLY Can I borrow the camera? CUT. INT. LILLY'S LIVING ROOM, THAT NIGHT. LILLY is setting up the camera on a table and pointing it at the living room, creating a nice wide-shot. She hides the camera with some plants or something to that effect. Shot her bent over into view of the camera, she hits record and then we see a quick montage of clips of her in this position and hitting record with different outfits, hairdos, lighting, etc. to establish passing of time. EXT. LILLY'S APARTMENT, EVENING. She walks from car to her apartment, talking on cell phone to MINDY. MINDY VO Really? Nothing? Not even an orb? LILLY (rolls eyes) No, Mindy, not even an orb. MINDY That is really weird. But, hey that's spirits for ya. They don't come out on cue. LILLY is at her apartment door, but can't open it because she has groceries in one hand and the phone in the other. LILLY Right--look, I gotta go. I'm at the door and my hands are full. MINDY I have so many comebacks to that, but I'll let it slide. Laters. LILLY Later. LILLY hangs up phone, puts it in her pocket. She gets keys and opens door. She enters apartment and plops her groceries and keys on the kitchen counter. She turns and starts to enter living room, removing her coat as she does but stops suddenly. Across one of the arms of her couch is a pair of underwear. She runs to the camera. Closeup reveals that it is still recording. LILLY Still recording. Perfect. Got it... LILLY grabs camera and runs to the TV, she opens a door on her entertainment center and pulls out an Page
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RCA cable and plugs the camera into the TV. She sits on the floor in front of the TV and begins to rewind the tape. As it rewinds, she starts to have doubts. LILLY Wait... are you sure you wanna see this? Maybe you should wait until-TAPE stops rewinding. She looks at it and hits play. She watches for a little bit, then sighs. She starts fastfowarding, she is leaned in and watching all the frames intently fly by. Just when she starts to give up hope and interest, PRETTY GIRL enters the shot and she flips out. She pauses it and falls back, freaking out. LILLY Whoa, whoa, whoa! What... wha... (breathing heavy) oh, no... okay... okay... alright... okay... LILLY slowly leans foward again, she rewinds the video to just before PRETTY GIRL enters the shot. She plays video and sits back and watches with us. Here is what we see: PRETTY GIRL enters the shot, but his head is cut-off. He walks around, the couch with a basket of dirty clothes. He places the basket on the couch and begins rummaging through it, he smiles a little as he pulls out a pair of underwear. He begins to touch it and rub it against his face and arms, he smells it. He places it in front of his crotch and imagines what it would look like on him, he poses a little in a girlish way. He places it down and picks up a bra, holds it to his chest and once again imagines what it would be like to wear it. He puts it down and steps out of the shot towards the bathroom. He comes back and sits on the coffee table with her makeup purse and begins to apply makeup to his face. As he does so, he sings to himself in a feminine voice. PRETTY GIRL A pretty girl is like a melody That haunts you night and day Just like the strain of a haunting refrain, She'll start upon a marathon And run around your brain, You can't escape -- she's in your memory, By morning, night and noon -She will leave you and then come back again, A pretty girl is just like a pretty tune. By the end of the song's refrain, he has fully applied his makeup and stands. He grabs the underwear and holds it in front of him, he dances about and begins to sing the refrain again, but suddenly stops and his attention is drawn off-camera. He grabs the makeup and throws it in the basket of clothes and then picks up the basket and exits off-camera, going behind it and towards her bedroom. Silence. The silence is finally broken by the front door opening and thee sound of the groceries and keys landing on the counter, and then silence. Then LILLY comes running up to the camera and looks into it. LILLY Still recording. Perfect. Got it... LILLY stops the recording and then we have THE BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. THE END.
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