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Closing the Presence Gap: Simple tools for rediscovering this innate leadership ability
February 27, 2013
(This article, in its original form, was written in 2009 and posted on my website: www.riverways.com. Ive since reworked it slightly and wanted to share it in this blog space. The three people described below are each composites of a number of clients who have come through my public speaking programs and services.) Jane was bright, experienced, and the only f emale on her work team. Frustrated, she f elt that nothing she said at team meetings was taken seriously and her participation was f requently discounted or ignored. When she came to me, she wanted to become more visible as a strong member of her team. Jim f ormed a small startup company with 3 other classmates af ter graduating f rom college and soon became director of marketing. At f irst enjoying his work, the bloom f aded when his sales f orce grew to twenty-f ive, all direct reports, many of them older than Jim. Naturally introverted, Jim wanted to overcome his shyness and his anxiety about age dif f erences. T hey were limiting his ability to lead with conf idence. Miriam, well regarded in her highly technical f ield, of ten spoke to conf erence audiences of 1,000 or more. With a quick mind and enthusiasm f or her subject matter, she tried to cover a wealth of material, talking quickly and packing her slides densely with inf ormation. Miriam f ound that her audiences of ten had trouble understanding and absorbing the material she presented. She wondered what she needs to do to be more ef f ective at conveying her message. Each of these people was an expert in their f ield, with a solid f oundation in their subject matter. T here was a gap, though, between their expertise and knowledge and their ability to communicate ef f ectively. T his gap hindered their ability to be truly ef f ective leaders. As each of them worked to strengthen their presence using some very simple strategies, they became more inf luential and respected in their respective f ields. Here are some of the simple essential strategies you too can use to develop your leadership presence: 1. Slow down. By using the breath to slow your thoughts, you will be much more available to the present moment. T his is of ten the most important step towards developing an ef f ective leadership presence. In this culture of adrenalin soup everything goes f ast. Day in, day out, people are besieged by urgent demands on their time ubiquitous cell phone access, relentless emails, increased workloads, and complicated f amily schedules so that they race f rom one activity to another, attempting to multitask as they go. T his state of continuous urgency and inf ormation overload is amplif ied by the racing thoughts accompanying the stress and anxiety that arise when people encounter uncomf ortable leadership situations. Presence arises when you take a deep breath, slow down, and pay attention to whats in f ront of you. By doing so, you establish a rhythm and pacing that helps others slow down and become present; and you spark more ef f ective interactions. 2. Embody Presence: Bring all of yourself into a meeting or important presentation, not just your brains.

People with real presence are comf ortable in their own skin. Presence is a holistic experience, where our entire being mind, body and spirit is engaged, not just our minds alone. At the same time, when a person is f ully embodied, she authentically engages the human beings in her audience, not just their thoughts. One simple but ef f ective mechanism f or developing body awareness while speaking is to f ocus on how you are making contact with the solid ground while presenting. When anchoring attention to your physical experience and also connecting with the audience while delivering the message, you bring more of yourself to each interaction. T his has the ef f ect of drawing your audience towards you and engaging their interest and regard. It does take practice as it requires multiple awarenesss at once. 3. T he power of the relationship: Place a priority on connecting with your audience rather than your material. T his is paradoxical f or most people. When asked to give a talk or speak up in a meeting, their f ocus is naturally drawn to the subject matter and how to convey it. But the truth is that ef f ectiveness as speakers and leaders is less about what is said and more about who you are and how well you connect with your audience. People respond to a message because of authenticity, humanity, and ability to connect. If a speaker f ocuses entirely on himself and the material, he creates an experience of separation and is not available to connect with his audience. Instead, if you give caref ul thought to why you are speaking, what you want the audience to leave with, and how you can be helpf ul to them, you will invite the audience to join you. Ironically, when your relationship with the audience becomes the priority rather yourself , youll be less anxious, your thoughts will quiet down, and your audience will trust you more. Here are several simple ways to invite the audience in: Maintain eye contact with a sof t, receptive gaze even while thinking. Linger with each person, truly see them, say hello to them in your mind as you speak. T hink of it as a conversation rather than a presentation. Speak naturally as if you were having cof f ee with a f riend. Ask yourself : How can I be of service? Instead of : How can I be perf ect and show my expertise? Let yourself be human! Dont try to be perf ect. Making mistakes is OK, its part of human nature. T he best way to do this is not to take yourself too seriously. We are the most engaging when our audience sees that we are accessible and human just like they are. Leadership enhanced with presence. To enhance their leadership presence, Jane, Jim and Miriam began to incorporate these strategies into their daily interactions. While doing so, each placed special emphasis on one practice. As Jane became more f ully embodied in her meetings, she noticed that while her voice wasnt necessarily louder, there was more power behind her words and her team members began to listen more and consider her opinions. Jim started to place a priority on connecting with the human beings on his sales team rather than f ocusing his shyness and the dif f erences in age, and he f ound himself more able to align with them and garner their respect. Miriam f ound when she slowed down and took a breath between each major point and eliminated much of the detail in her presentations, her audiences were able to absorb more of her message.

In accessing their own natural presence, these three leaders f ound themselves to be much more ef f ective in communicating their message while enjoying themselves more as well.