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Friday, July 19
CRISIS CONTROL In off-kilter rom-com Girl Most Likely,
opening tonight, Kristen Wiig proves that even a nervous
breakdown can be funnyat least if your character is in a
May-December romance with Glee star Darren Criss.
ELLE CALENDAR JULY
1 11 21 6 16 26 3 13 23 8 18 28 2 12 22 7 17 27 4 14 24 9 19 29 5 15 25 10 20 30 31
See
you
next
month!
Thursday, July 25
GLOBAL MARKET Out today is the
gluten-tolerant memoir On the Noodle
Road: From Beijing to Rome With Love
and Pasta (Riverhead), which chronicles
foodie Jen Lin-Lius world travels as
she learns the history and craft of
pasta making. Through her experiences
cooking with women worldwide, she
discovers her relationships with food, life,
and love are quite intertwined.
25
19
Thursday, July 4
DOUBLE F Fendi-philes have two ways this month to fete the
Roman heritage house: The reissue of the iconic Selleria handbag
line brings back stitching techniques from saddlery first used by the
company in 1925. And following Fendis $3 million pledge toward
the restoration of the Eternal Citys historic waterworks, including
the Trevi Fountain, Karl Lagerfelds photo exhibition Fendi for
Fountains: The Glory of Water opens today in Paris.
CRISIS CONTROL In off-kilter rom-com Girl Most Likely, yy
opening tonight, Kristen Wiig proves that even a nervous
breakdown can be funnyat least if your character is in a
May-December romance with Glee star Darren Criss.
11 21 16 26 133333333 23 18 28888888 12 22 17 27 14 111 24 19 222229 229 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 15 25 10 20 30 31
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month!
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es
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Friday, July 26Saturday, July 27, 8 P.M. EST
MISERY LOVES COMPANY Grab a tissue. When it comes to
breaking hearts, nothing compares 2 Sinad OConnor. Tonight, in
the first of two performances for the 2013 Lincoln Center Festival,
the controversial Grammy-winning singer will belt gut-wrenching
covers of soulful gospel songs by the likes of Sam Cooke and the
Staples Sisters. lincolncenterfestival.org
26
Monday, July 22
HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY,
SELENA GOMEZ
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Thursday,
July 11
ORANGE IS THE
NEW BLACK For
Netflixs latest
must-binge scripted
series, creator Jenji
Kohan (of Weeds
fame) adapts Piper
Kermans 2011 It-
Girl-goes-to-prison
memoir. Clear
your schedule; all
13 episodes start
streaming tonight.
Friday, July 19
Sunday,
July 21
PITCHFORK MUSIC
FESTIVAL Women
rule this years
three-day festival, as
acts such as M.I.A.,
Bjrk, and the newly
reunited Breeders
promise high-energy
performances in
Chicagos Union Park.
Th dd
THE
MUST-
DO
CHECK
LIST
Thursday, July 4
UNDER ARMOR
Opening today
at Paris Les Arts
Decoratifs is Behind
the Seams: An
Indiscreet Look
at the Mechanics
of Fashion,
an exploration
of extreme
undergarments
from the fourteenth
century till present
day. Items such as
this intricate corset
(above left) give
new meaning to
Independence Day.
lesartsdecoratifs.fr
18 www. e l l e. c o m

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ELLE (ISSN 0888-0808) (Volume XXVIII, Number 11) (July 2013)
is published monthly by Hearst Communications, Inc., 300 West
57th Street, New York, NY 10019 U.S.A. Steven R. Swartz, President
and Chief Executive Officer; William R. Hearst III, Chairman; Frank
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Secretary; Ronald J. Doerfler, Senior Vice President, Finance
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CONTENTS
24 www. e l l e. c o m
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JULY 2013 VOLUME XXVIII NUMBER 11 NO.335
ON THE COVER
61
,
83
,
139
ELLE FASHION: THE LOOK, TRENDS,
AND ACCESSORIES
Lace sandals, gilded picnic-basket-inspired
bags, and cool camouflage sundresses have
us dreaming of afternoons playing hooky
in the park
99
THE 2013 GREEN STARS
ELLEs seventh annual ranking of the best
natural beauty products out there
126
SEXUAL HEALING
TRACY CLARK-FLORY uses rough sex to blunt
psychological painuntil it goes too far
140
SHAKIRAS PRIME TIME
Shes a fiery romantic, a doting mother, and
a global superstarand those are just a few
of the reasons why were on Team Shakira.
By JOSEPH HOOPER. Photographed by
CARTER SMITH. Styled by JOE ZEE
186
BODY OF WORK
Channing Tatum talks true romance with
MICKEY RAPKIN
FASHION
52
CHIME IN
MAGGIE BULLOCK on Chime for Change
and the star power behind Guccis latest
philanthropic effort
CONTINUED ON PAGE 28
54
SENTIMENTAL VALUE
Jeweler and artist James Colarusso invites
VRONIQUE HYLAND to a dinner party
trimmed with nostalgia
56
STELLAR EVOLUTION
ALISON S. COHN is struck by the celestial
inspiration behind The News showrooms
6397 line
58
A TO ZEE: CASE CLOSED
ELLE Creative Director JOE ZEES ultimate
packing list for every possible destination
74
WORKBOOK: POLITICS OF STYLE
Mayor Rahm Emanuels assistant Anna
Valencia keeps Chicagos city hall bright.
By AMANDA FITZSIMONS
Explore and Shop www.cartier.us - 1-800-cartier
Ballon Bleu de Cartier
New 33 mm collection, automatic movement

2
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Shakira (left) wears a silk-blend top from Versace, viscose-blend
shorts from Diane von Furstenberg, and link bracelets from
David Yurman. Shakira (right) wears a gold nail necklace from
Aldo Cipullo from FD Gallery, NYC. For details, see Shopping
Guide. Photographed by Carter Smith; styled by Joe Zee; hair
by Enzo Angileri for Cloutier Remix; makeup by Polly Osmond
for Exposure NY; manicure by Ashlie Johnson for the Wall
Group; set design by Steve Halterman at Stardust Visions;
on-set production by Tyler Duuring at Portfolio One; fashion
assistant: Sarah Schussheim. To get her makeup look (left),
try Colorstay Eyeliner in Brown, Lash Potion Volume + Length
Mascara by Grow Luscious in Blackened Brown, Matte Powder
Blush in Perfectly Peach, and Colorburst Lip Butter-Pacific
Coast Collection in Juicy Papaya, all by Revlon.
CONTINUED ON PAGE 34
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 24
page 123
page 99
page 120
page 92
CONTENTS JULY 2013 VOLUME XXVIII NUMBER 11 NO.335
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28 www. e l l e. c o m
79
ELLE FASHION NEWS
H.Sterns Iris collection takes a cue from
F. Scott Fitzgerald and shows off a white
topaz as big as the HMS Challenger
Sunglasses go dark(er), thanks to Etnia
Barcelonas partnership with S&M
photographer Nobuyoshi ArakiOrlebar
Brown suits up the ladiesand more!
80
POOL PARTY
Simon Portesales associate at Comme
des Garons by day, designer of Jacquemus
by nighttells VRONIQUE HYLAND about
his double life
148
NEW YORKS FINEST
Manhattan designers live up to their citys
reputation with the best of the fall collections.
Photographed by LIZ COLLINS. Styled by
SAMIRA NASR
158
FORGET VERSAILLES
SOFIA COPPOLA shoots Paris Hilton in the
socialites over-the-top home. Styled by
STACEY BATTAT
168
HOUSE RULES
House of Cards star Kate Mara plays dress-
up in the seasons most stylish pieces.
Photographed by CEDRIC BUCHET. Styled
by SABINA SCHREDER
180
INSTANT LOVE
Ultrafemme accents such as lace, fur, and
flowers go insta-classic through Instagrams
sepia-toned filter. Photographed by ILAN
RUBIN. Styled by JOANN PAILEY
FEATURES
91
ELLE INTELLIGENCE
Amy Seimetz lightens upthe summer
singles youll be blasting from your car
Nat Faxon and Jim Rashs ode to the
dysfunctional family vacationand more!
96
ITS LATER THAN YOU THINK
RACHAEL COMBE explores a new book by
Claudia Hammond on why exactly time
fliesand whether there is any way to slow
it down
123
ECO MANIAC
Supermodel Angela Lindvall takes
AMANDA FITZSIMONS on a tour of her
renovated, sustainable L.A. compound
128
HAMMER TIME
Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, and
Armie Hammer? JESSICA PRESSLER makes
the case for Hollywoods next leading man
136
ASK E. JEAN
Relationship hell? E. JEAN CARROLL to the
rescue!
BEAUTY, HEALTH
& FITNESS
110
MIRED IN DESIRE
HOLLY MILLEA attempts to sniff out whether
the nose knows, when it comes to love
114
FACTS OF NATURE
ELLE sorts through the cacophony of
opinion on nature versus technology
with author, skeptic, and voice of reason
Nathanael Johnson
116
HOW TO LOVE YOUR WORK
LOUISA KAMPS examines how a little
empathy can make all the difference
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CONTINUED FROM PAGE 28
page 128
ACTION FIGURE PRIVATE LESSONS
A novel about a life-altering,
all-engulfing young love
61 ELLE TRENDS 91 ELLE INTEL
Target is the latest retailer to jump on the FEED
craze, expanding the lines offerings from the original
burlap and cotton tote to include onesies, notebooks,
and even kitchen accessories. Each product details
the number of meals your purchase will provide.
In Target stores and at target.com
SHOP FOR
A CAUSE
79 ELLE FASHION NEWS
83 ELLE SHOPS
ELLEs Top Shop: E.G. Page, 333 S. State Street, Suite F, Lake Oswego, OR;
503-699-8940
Whats there: The shop has cornered the market on that effortless, casually
cool look you want to sport on all your lunch dates.
Projected wait-list items: Rag & Bone silk shorts, Clover Canyon colorful
graphic-print dresses, and Maison Scotch easy-breezy tops.
Vibe: Stone floors and blond wood with blue and white painted accents give the
open and relaxed feel of being in the well-appointed summer home of a friend
whose laid-back style you covet.
Playlist: Depending on the day, youll get the electronic beats of SBTRKT or
the low-key crooning of Carla Bruni.
E.G. PAGE
1. Wool-blend coat, GRYPHON, $895, to order, call 212-764-3059 | 2. Flannel bag,
NINA RICCI, $2,890, collection at Ikram, Chicago | 3. Suede boot, ROGER VIVIER,
$1,195, at Roger Vivier, NYC, call 212-861-5371
P
rizewinning novelist Susan Choi (A Person
of Interest, The Foreign Student) returns to
the proving ground for emotional matur-
ity that is a college campus in My Education
(Viking). Clever, eager-to-please grad student
Regina relishes her entre into a notor iously
charismatic professors coterie; blindsided by
an unexpected (and illicit) affair in its midst, she learns
how little logic, intelligence, or friendship count against desire.
Narrated by an older, accomplished Regina whos in awe of her
own vulnerable bravura, Chois latest captures the kind of love
that stretches time into days within daysand the damage it
leaves behindwith acute sensibility. Even now, all these years
later, I pause at the brink, Regina recollects. It was its own total-
ity, bottomless and consuming, a font of impossible pleasure that
from the start also bore down on me like a drill until at last it
accomplished a permanent perforation.Elyse Moody
y
h l
Colorful camo separates and
menswear-inspired tailoring
ensure youre battle ready
even if its only for the
boardroom
2. Nina Ricci
1. Gryphon
3. Roger Vivier
34 www. e l l e. c o m
JULY 2013 VOLUME XXVIII NUMBER 11 NO.335
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120
IT LIST
IN EVERY ISSUE
18 CALENDAR
46 EDITORS LETTER
48 REPLY ALL
50 CONTRIBUTORS
83 ELLE SHOPS
183 SHOPPING GUIDE
184 HOROSCOPE
HOT
CONTENTS
CONTENTS
ginal
oks,
ils
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now my skin does too
Johnson & Johnson Consumer Companies, Inc. 2013
advertisement
DEC
EXTRA
VISIT ELLEEXTRA.COM FOR MORE FASHION-FORWARD INFO J U L Y 2 0 1 3
COALITION FOR THE HOMELESS

WERE THERE FOR NEW YORK


The Coalition for the Homeless is the nations oldest homeless advocacy
and direct service organization. Our frontline programs help 3,500 men,
women and children every day, while our advocacy targets the systemic
causes of homelessness and protects the basic human rights of homeless
and poor people.
To nd out how you can help, go to coalitionforthehomeless.org.
SONUVO
THE JET-SETTERS SOUNDTRACK
Whether performing in New Yorks elite clubs or Parisian hot spots,
international trio SoNuvo stirs up a vibrant energy, blending world, bossa, jazz,
funk, and hip hop for a thoroughly unique sound.
To discover more, nd SoNuvo on Facebook or visit reverbnation.com/sonuvo.
WELLA PROFESSIONALS
RED CARPET READY SALON EVENTS
Launching in late 2012, ELLE and Wella Professionals partnered for a
series of Red Carpet Ready events at elite salons nationwide. At each
successful event, a fashion-focused crowd enjoyed complimentary hair
consultations, touch-ups, champagne, hors doeuvres, and a live DJ.
For more beauty inspiration, find a Wella salon near you at wella.com.
ELLE SPA
THE ULTIMATE SUMMER GETAWAY
The ELLE Spa at Eden Roc Renaissance Miami Beach offers a wide array
of luxurious treatments. Come celebrate summer with us in July and
August 2013 to take advantage of our Miami Spa Month feature, when
you can enjoy special treatments for $99. During your stay, be sure
to stop by the ELLE Spa Boutique for summers most-wanted beauty
products and accessories handpicked by ELLE editors.
Visit ellespamiami.com or call our spa concierge at 305.674.5585 to reserve
today. This limited-time promotion is valid Sunday-Thursday.
RADO HYPERCHROME
AUTOMATIC
MONOBLOC CASE
ENGINEERED IN HIGH-TECH CERAMIC
Julia Grges


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AIRES JEWELERS (973) 292-0950 | REIS-NICHOLS JEWELERS (317) 883-4467 | BERGER & SON FINE JEWELERS (702) 737-7118
ELLE WEBWATCH KNOW NOW
F
or tips and ideas that will take your personal
style into the ever-elusive no-filter-required
realm, meet Aimee Song, the Instagram-
famous (800,000 followers and counting) in-
terior designer behind the blog Song of Style.
The 26-year-olds effortless approach to dress-
ing and decorating has made her site a major
destination for readers searching for carefree
and colorful SoCal inspirationher loyal au-
dience consistently manifests itself in over four
million monthly page views. Check out Songs
posts on ELLE.com this month for exclusive
Instagram diaries, behind-the-scenes tours
of her interior design projects, top shopping
picks, and weekly DIY home ideaslike this
picture frame turned table tray (right), crafted
just for usall infused with her trademark
West Coast cool.Catherine Straut
G
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S
T

B
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O
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G
E
R
:
AIMEE
SONG
MAKE THIS
TRAY
SERVE YOURSELF (1) Find a deep picture frame that goes with your color scheme. Wood is best
because its easiest to drill. (2) Find some cool drawer pulls to use as handles. (3) Remove
the back of the frame and its glass insert. (4) Use a measuring tape to lightly mark where
youre going to drill holes to add your handles. Make sure theyre symmetrical! (5) Using an
electric drill, make holes for each handle. Use a screwdriver to tightly fasten handles.
(6) Slide decorative paper under the glass as though you were framing a picture. And voil!
Let the entertaining begin! See more projects throughout the month on ELLE.com.
CALIFORNIA GIRL Song, at
her home in
Los Angeles
WANT TO WRITE
FOR ELLE?
Y
ou could be published in the October 2013 Personal
Style Issue of ELLE! Have a piece of clothing or
an accessory that tells an important story about
you? We want to hear about it. Were looking for
essays of 800 to 1,200 words illuminating how an
item in your wardrobe has changed your life. To
enter, e-mail your submission to ELLEessays@
hearst.com by July 24, 2013. (Paste your text into
the message body; no attachments, please.)
Calling all readers who are also writers!
38 www. e l l e. c o m
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MASCARA
BIG SCREEN LASHES
New! Diorshow Iconic Overcurl
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EXTRA
VISIT ELLEEXTRA.COM FOR MORE FASHION-FORWARD INFO J U L Y 2 0 1 3
GRAND MARNIER
SHAKE IT UP TONIGHT!
The Original Grand Margarita:
3/4 oz. Grand Marnier
1 1/2 oz. premium tequila
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In a mixing glass add Grand Marnier, tequila, and lime.
Fill shaker with ice; shake well and strain into a margarita glass.
Garnish with a lime wheel.
Visit Facebook.com/grandmarnier.
Drink with Style. Drink Responsibly.
2013 Marnier-Lopostolle Inc., NY, NY. GRAND MARNIER Liqueur. 40% Alc/Vol. (80).
REVLON
REVLON LASH POTION VOLUME AND LENGTH MASCARA
Get spellbinding volume and supernatural length! REVLONs Lash Potion
formula with strengthening proteins, peptides, and essential vitamins
drenches lashes for volume, while the Illusionist Wands triple grooves
comb through for clump-free length. Its the one accessory you cant live
without this summer!
For more summer style inspiration, play The Personal Style Experience,
an interactive fashion film thats a choose-your-own adventure epic!
Visit Facebook.com/Revlon today! #revlonpersonalstyle
HAWAIIAN TROPIC
INDULGE YOUR SKIN THIS SUMMER
With its ultra-luxurious hydrating silk ribbons for 12-hour moisturizing,
Hawaiian Tropic Silk Hydration Lotion Sunscreen nourishes and
pampers skin while providing broad spectrum UVA and UVB protection,
making it the most indulgent protection on the market.
Visit facebook.com/hawaiiantropic.
Live for
Fashion?
Love this book.
Dont miss THE ELLEments OF
PERSONAL STYLE. This one-of-a-
kind collection features 250 pages
of original photography, in-depth
interviews, and inspiring advice and
ideas from the editors of ELLE. Its
a must-read for any fashion icon
aspiring or otherwise.
Editors JOE ZEE &MAGGIE BULLOCK
Foreword by ROBERTA MYERS
THE
MENTS
OF
PERSONAL
STYLE
25 MODERN FASHION ICONS
ON HOW TO
DRESS, SHOP, AND LIVE
PROMOTION
Available from
FASHION
Senior Market Editor JADE FRAMPTON Credits Director TRI CI A SCHREI BER
Associate Accessories Editor J ENNI FER GACH
Assistant Editors SARAH SCHUSSHEI M, KRI STEN SHI RLEY, ALLI SON WATTERS
Assistants YASHUA SI MMONS, CAI TLI N MULLEN, RYAN TRI STAN JI N
Fashion Editor-at-Large LORI GOLDSTEI N
FEATURES
Senior Features Editor BEN W. DI CKI NSON Entertainment Director J ENNI FER WEI SEL
Senior Editors CLAI RE GUTI ERREZ, RACHEL BAKER Associate Editor, Living AMANDA FI TZSI MONS
Fashion News Editors VRONI QUE HYL AND, ALI SON S. COHN Associate Editor SETH PL ATTNER
Assistant Editors J USTI NE HARMAN, NAOMI ROUGEAU, ALLI SON P. DAVI S, CATHERI NE STRAUT
Editorial Assistant COTTON CODI NHA
BEAUTY AND FITNESS
Executive Beauty Editor APRI L LONG
Senior Beauty Editor JANNA J OHNSON O TOOLE Assistant Beauty Editor J ULI E SCHOTT
ART AND DESIGN
Associate Art Directors DANI EL FI SHER, ELVI S CRUZ, J I LL SERRA WILDE
International Coordinator MONI QUE BONI OL
Assistant Managing Editor MELI SSA J EWSBURY
PHOTOGRAPHY
Photo Director BARBARA GROGAN
Photo Producer KATRI NA SYMONDS Associate Photo Editor AMELI A HOFFMAN
COPY/RESEARCH
Director of Copy and Research HEATHER MCCABE Research Editor BRENDN CUMMI NGS
Copy Editor ELYSE MOODY Associate Research Editor MEG PROSSNI TZ
PRODUCTION
Group Production Director KAREN OTTO Group Production Manager DI ANE ARLOTTA
Associate Production Manager CELESTE J OHNNY Digital Imaging Specialist REBECCA I OVAN
Editorial Business Manager CAROL LUZ
ELLE.COM
General Manager, Fashion & Beauty, Digital Media MEL ANI E SCHNURI GER
Executive Editor AMI NA AKHTAR
Beauty Editor TAYLOR BARRI NGER Fashion News Editor L AUREN LEVI NSON
Editors-at-Large LI SA CHASE, RACHAEL COMBE
Contributing Editors RUTH SHALI T BARRETT, CARLENE BAUER, SARAH BERNARD, BLI SS BROYARD,
NI NA BURLEI GH, E. J EAN CARROLL, LI SA DEPAULO, KAREN DURBI N, ANDREW GOLDMAN, J ESSE GREEN,
TAMZI N GREENHI LL, CATHI HANAUER, NANCY HASS, ELI ZABETH HAYT, J OSEPH HOOPER, LOUI SA KAMPS,
RUTH DAVI S KONI GSBERG, DAPHNE MERKI N, HOLLY MI LLEA, SUSAN MI LLER, BRI AN MOLLOY, COCO MYERS,
CHRI STOPHER NI QUET, DANI SHAPI RO, LI SA SHEA, L AUREN SL ATER, REBECCA TRAI STER
WORLDS LEADING FASHION MAGAZINE U 43 INTERNATIONAL EDITIONS
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Seni or Vi ce Presi dent , CFO, and General Manager SI MON HORNE
Seni or Vi ce Presi dent , Int ernati onal Publi shing Direct or J EANNETTE CHANG
Seni or Vi ce President , Edit ori al Direct or KI M ST. CL AI R BODDEN
Executive Direct or, Edit ori al ASTRI D O. BERTONCI NI
Creative Direct or PETER YATES
Fashi on and Ent ert ainment Direct or KRI STEN I NGERSOLL
Founding Editor RGIS PAGNIEZ
For information on reprints and e-prints, please contact Brian Kolb at Wrights Reprints, 877-652-5295 or bkolb@wrightsreprints.com. ELLE is published by Hearst Communications Inc.
All correspondence should be addressed to: 300 West 57th Street, New York, NY 10019. ELLE is a registered trademark of Hachette Filipacchi Presse, France, subsidiary of Lagardre Active Group.
ln Conodo, lhe ELLE lrodemorks [denomlnollon ond logo| ore owned by Fronce Conodo Edlllons el Publlcollons lnc. Copyrlghl 2013.
PRI NTED I N THE UNI TED STATES OF AMERI CA
ANNE SLOWEY
Fashion News Director
EMI LY DOUGHERTY
Beauty & Fitness Director
MAGGI E BULLOCK
Deputy Editor
SAMI RA NASR
Fashion Director
J OANN PAI LEY
Market Director
DOUGL AS BAUGHMAN
Managing Editor
L AURI E ABRAHAM
Features Director
ROBERTA MYERS
Editor-in-Chief
J OE ZEE
Creative Director

PAUL RI T TER
Design Director

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Finance Director MARGARET M. HEALY
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Executive Director, Luxury Products BARBARA BOULWARE Senior Director, Fashion STACEY CALL AHAN
Beauty Managers KATI E CRABTREE, J I LL SCHL ANGER- SLI VKA
Direct Response Senior Account Manager ANGEL A HRONOPOULOS Advertising Sales Coordinator L AURA EVELYN ELTON
Assistants CAROLYN SAVI NO, CASEY SULLI VAN Assistant to the Publisher REBECCA FADDEN
BRAND DEVELOPMENT & INTEGRATED MARKETING
Executive Director, Brand Development/Integrated Marketing LI Z HODGES Senior Director, Integrated Marketing JASON I . CAVALLO
Creative Services Director SARA ROBERTS Brand Development Director L AUREN MUEHLETHALER Copy Director HEATHER WAGNER
Special Events Director KATI E CROWN Directors, Integrated Marketing HEI DI KELLNER, K. QUI NN STUEBE
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Managers, Integrated Marketing DEBORAH SHNAY, JACQUELI NE STOREY, ASHLEY R. SWEETI NG Manager, Brand Development AMY POTENZA
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Coordinator, Creative Services SOOJ I N PARK Assistant KAYL A A. KOMMER
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PRIM PROPER?
ELLE EDITORS LETTER
W
hen I was about six, after returning home from visiting
my father across the country by myself for the first time,
I started to tell my mother about his musings on existen-
tialism and the wisdom that hed tried to impart over the
summer, particularly his advice that we were put on this earth to
figure it out for ourselves and try to have a good time while were
here. The perfect philosophy for a six-year-old, for sureme,
me, me at the center of an unfathomable universe, the superego
and the id duking it out for control of an under-construction con-
science. Its a struggle that, Ive come to realize, continues within
most of the fully formed adults I know: a tug-of-war between
desire and self-control, with layers of guilt, manners, and some-
times the means to act on at least some of those desires. Desire,
it seems to me, is pretty personal, but that hasnt stopped people
from trying to quantify it. Holly Millea sat down with Stephen
Snyder, an associate clinical professor of psychiatry at Mount
Sinai medical school in New York, to try to understand some of
the hard science behind who and what we desire, and discovered
that even her own sexual preferences were much more nuanced
than she had known. Meanwhile, in a provocative essay, Tracy
Clark-Flory reveals how her desires grew alarmingly darker the
closer she got to losing her mother. And if theres a universal
desire among those of us who work, its to get along better with
our colleagueswriter Louisa Kamps tells us how.
I guess when it comes to actually knowing what you want,
the six-year-olds might have the advantage, undefended as they
are. Women, especially, seem to have a wrestling match over
each and every decisionShould I eat this? Can I buy that?
Is he good for me?which is such a frustrating way to live.
Thank goodness for Shakira, who seems bent on showing us
all how to know what we want and then go get it. The global
star and breakout coach on The Voice has charmed her way into
the American spotlight with equal amounts of verve and nerve.
Shes so smart and fast and funny on the showand its obvious
her three costars each have a terrible crush on her. She talks
with Joseph Hooper about how shes forged a meaningful life
out of a complicated set of circumstances.
My problem is too much desire, stoked every month by the
editors who carefully construct our fashion pages to bring us
the most covetable pieces out there. ELLE Shops is a particular
pleasure-center stimulator, curated as it is with items that are
chic, sane, and, the shoppers holy grail, wearable. In addition,
this month we ask five up-and-coming designers for their latest,
greatest inspirations and creations. But you sometimes do have
to wonder: What would it really be like to get everything we
want? There are two tragedies in life, wrote George Bernard
Shaw. One is to lose your hearts desire. The other is to gain it.
HILOSOPHY OF DESIRE
46 www. e l l e. c o m
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VOLUME LOSS BREAKAGE LESS SHINE ROUGHNESS DRYNESS
BRITTLENESS UNRULINESS LOSS OF COLOR VIBRANCY


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are very elegant women. I love
Alicias voice, and her smile is
so genuine and beautiful. She
just radiates light.
gatorade123, Missjia.com
TWO WORDS:
PAT BENATAR.
ENOUGH SAID.
Danny Diess, ELLE.com
Britney Spears just earned
some major respect from
me. Usually when one artist
compliments another its semi-
backhanded. This sounded
totally genuine and sincere.
Way cool, Brit.
RainbowBrite, Perezhilton.com
For ELLEs annual Women
in Music Issue (May 2013),
we celebrated 11 acts whose
music serves as the soundtrack
to our lives. The inimitable
Adele, whose chart-topping
21 is credited with reviving
the music biz, is beloved by
even the toughest criticsher
peers. Her voice draws the
emotion out of you, Britney
Spears told ELLE; If shes not
the best, then theres no reason
to like anything anymore,
John Mayer gushed. Rounding
out our trifecta of cover stars
were Rita Ora and Alicia
Keys, each of whom serves
up larger-than-life vocals in
standout style. Heres what
you thought of our portfolio of
talentfrom the emerging to
the legendary:
Adele is just gorgeous. Its
like she is from a different
era when women were really
beautiful without copious
surgical enhancements. She is
a tremendous vocalist, writer,
and musicianand yet she
zealously guards her private
life. I applaud.
Sonnybabe, Dailymail.co.uk
Is there some weird additive
in the water around the British
Isles that breeds heavenly
cheekbones? Natural
selection?
julnyes, Tomandlorenzo.com
Yay Adele for showing you
can be successful without
gimmicks, sex, and constant
exposure. You just gotta have
a killer voice, a great record,
an awesome personality, and,
well, beauty cant hurt!
alison8761, Jezebel.com
Been following Rita for a
while now. So proud she got
an ELLE cover! She looks
lovely!
A, Fashionbombdaily.com
This is breathtaking. Rita
has nally found her editorial.
Kudos to everyone involved.
Rand Ortega,
Tomandlorenzo.com
They all look very classy and
ELLE LETTERS
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Send your letters to ELLE,
Letters to the Editors, 300 West
57th Street, NY, NY 10019, or
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SING
FOR THE
MOMENT
REPLY
ALL
Taylor
Swift
Rita
Ora
Alicia Keys
Angel
Haze
Miranda
Lambert
Haim
Jessie Ware
Pat Benatar
Pink
Grimes
When the wheels came
off Tig Notaros life
(pneumonia, cancer,
her mothers sudden
death), a journey Ariel
Levy profiled in Very
Funny [April 2013], the
comedienne turned her
disappointments into a
now legendary stand-up
routineand inspired one
ELLE reader to discover
her own silver lining:
When I heard about
Tig Notaro in 2012, I
felt a kinship with her.
I had just undergone
surgery for colon cancer.
Six weeks later, my dad,
my hero, passed away;
two weeks later, I started
chemotherapy. From
March to October, I had
chemo and radiation.
In October, I fell and
fractured my knee. I was
supposed to go back to
work in November, but
wasnt able to, so they
said I should resign, after
15 years. Good news
in December: I was in
remission. Buttwo days
ago, I lost all my medical
benefits. Tig is right: At
times Ive just had to laugh
about all this, like its some
kind of cosmic joke. I have
no job, no father, and no
medical insurancebut
I have a new beginning
and endless possibilities.
Thanks, ELLE, and
thanks, Tig.Cathy
Paisley, San Diego
DOWN
,

BUT NOT
OUT
Rock legend Kim Gordon
who bravely opened up to
Lizzy Goodman about her
split from her Sonic Youth
bandmate and husband,
Thurston Moore, in Youth in
Revolt [May 2013]is more
than just a long-legged icon;
shes a role model in resilience
for ELLE readers:
She still radiates cool, just
like when she walked past
me after a gig at Strathclyde
University in the late 80s.
TheSurvivalBag,
Guardian.co.uk
A very well-written article
about an amazing woman.
Thank you for finding the
words to explain how we all
feel about her.
Emily Morris, ELLE.com
I love women who live with
fierce dignity. She is one such
woman. And its no surprise
she has three potential suitors
in the wings. Hey, Kim? We
love you.
Katy Otto, ELLE.com
SONIC BOOM
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ELLE CONTRIBUTORS JULY
NAME: Sofia Coppola
PROVENANCE: Napa Valley, CA
NOW: New York City and Paris
PROFESSION: Filmmaker
THIS MONTH: Photographed Paris Hilton
for Forget Versailles (page 158), in honor of
Coppolas new movie The Bling Ring. The idea
was to show her at home, not done up the way
you see her when she goes out.
BONA FIDES: Academy Awardwinning
director of The Virgin Suicides, Lost in
Translation, and Marie Antoinette
FAVORITE FLICK: The Last Picture Show
BEST ON-SET MOMENT: Karaoke with Bill
Murray for Lost in Translation.
READING: The Custom of the Country, by Edith
Wharton
PERSONAL MANTRA: Its better to regret
what youve done than what you havent.
GREAT ESCAPE: Spending New Years at
Turtle Inn, my familys beach resort in Belize.
IT TAKES TWO: I shot a Phoenix video the
other day. It was fun to have my favorite band and
the man I love [Thomas Mars, her husband and
the front man of Phoenix] performing for me.
IF I WERENT A FILMMAKER, ID BE: A
magazine editor or art director. I love creating
layouts.
NAME: Jessica Pressler
PROVENANCE: Marblehead, MA
NOW: Brooklyn
PROFESSION: Contributing Editor at New York
THIS MONTH: Hammer Time (page 128).
Armie Hammer comes from a very privileged
background and looks a bit like a villain from
a John Hughes movie, so I was worried he was
going to be this dilettante who would want to
talk about the craft or whatever. But he was
completely the opposite, very warm and open
and very, very funny.
BONA FIDES: Work has appeared in New
York, Esquire, The New York Times, and GQ
CELEB ENCOUNTER: Debbie Harry. I was
really stoned in college, and for some reason
someone had her phone number and dared me
to call her, and she answered. I cant remember
what I said, maybe I loved Heart of Glass,
but whatever it was, she definitely did not want
to hear it at four in the morning. She was pissed.
GREAT ESCAPE: Nicaragua. When I
interviewed Armie, he had just gotten back,
and I was on my way there. He ended up
giving me a bunch of travel tips. We both loved
the old colonial city of Granada and Laguna de
Apoyo, a volcanic lake. The water has a really
high mineral content, and after you swim in it,
your skin feels really soft and amazing.
DREAM SUBJECT: Vladimir Putin
MOMENT OF ZEN: Walking across the
Brooklyn Bridge in the middle of the day on a
weekday.
NAME: Ilan Rubin
PROVENANCE: Israel
NOW: New York City
PROFESSION: Photographer
THIS MONTH: Instant Love (page 180).
The line is getting blurry in terms of the
definition of who is a photographer. The
photographer has been deprofessionalized.
So I decided to have fun and take Instagram
pictures that are usually looked at only on
phones in a small, square format and show
them big in a glossy magazine.
BONA FIDES: Work has appeared in W, Marie
Claire, Vogue Nippon, and GQ
PHOTOGRAPHY 101: Although I really like
the idea of Instagram, taking pictures isnt a
social activity for me. But if youre using it, try
the Nashville filter.
HAPPY DAY: A 72-degree, blue-sky summer
day in Fire Island, on the beach with no
worries in the world.
PERSONAL MANTRA: The harder you
work, the luckier you get.
NAME: Ilaria Urbinati
PROVENANCE: Rome, Italy
NOW: Los Angeles
PROFESSION: Stylist
THIS MONTH: Styled longtime client Armie
Hammer for Hammer Time (page 128).
He is inherently quite dapper, so weve
always gone with a classic, almost British style.
Recently we did some shoots where he was
a little edgier and way more dressed down.
Sometimes I forget how young he is, so it was
nice to see him dressed a little less adult.
BONA FIDES: Styles Bradley Cooper,
Krysten Ritter, Chris Evans, Miles Teller, Ian
Somerhalder, and Joel Edgerton
IF I WERENT A STYLIST, ID BE: A
writer. I thought I was Hemingway. I still write,
and I sold a script, though I dont have time to
pursue it. I fought the fashion thing forever, but
honestly I cant deny how much I love my job!
WORDS OF WISDOM: If you want something
done, give it to the busiest person.
OFF DUTY: Sometimes I sneak a night off to
go play Cards Against Humanity, the Post-it
game, and Running Charades with my friends
until the wee hours.
KARMA BANK: My little sister has
autism, and Ive done a lot of work to support
foundations like Autism Speaks. My best
friend, Krysten Ritter, and I started our own
organization, the Ritter-Urbinati Foundation
for Autism Research, to help educate people
and raise funds for research.
DREAM SUBJECT: Winona Ryder, in the 90s
MOMENT OF ZEN: Every once in a
very blue moon, Ill get a day off. When
that happens, I drive to Malibu, get a little
sandwich from Johns Garden, and just sort
of bask in the sun. Sometimes I put my feet in
the sand, but the truth is people in L.A. dont
actually go to the beach. They just eat by it.
Allison P. Davis
50 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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I
f Im able to raise a subject, get people
uncomfortable about it, get them to ask
the crucial questions, says Sharmeen
Obaid Chinoy, then Ive done my job.
In 2012, Obaid Chinoy became the first
Pakistani to win an Oscar, with Saving Face,
her documentary about brutal acid attacks
on Pakistani women (often by a relative).
The film was a testament to the power
of the medium itself: It raised awareness
on a global level, but also inspired grass-
roots aidamong other things, people
donated homes for two of the women she
featured. Now, with Humaira: The Dream
Catcher, Obaid Chinoy is training her lens
on a 24-year-old who, after her own father
tried to stop her from finishing school in
ninth grade, founded the only school in
her neighborhood in Karachi, Pakistan.
Today, Humaira has not only educated
more than 1,200 children, shes also edu-
cating local adults. In one arresting scene,
Humaira forcefully lectures a classroom of
her elders on their daughters legal right
to educationnews to most of the women
in the group. Legally they have the right
to education, says Obaid Chinoy. Le gally
child marriage is not allowed. Legally
there are domestic-violence laws. Now, if
a project is difficult to comprehend. Says
Giannini: I wanted to create a movement
driving the voices calling for change to be-
come so loud that they cant be ignored.
And if theres one thing a fashion
megabrand knows, its that if you want
to do something really big, you have to
start really big. Chime for Change kicks
off June 1 in London, with a blockbuster
concert headlined by Beyonc that also
includes Jennifer Lopez, Florence + the
Machine, Ellie Goulding, Rita Ora, and
John Legend. The concert, which will be
broadcast across the planet, is forecast to
reach one billion viewers. And through
Catapultthe first crowd-funding site
dedicated specifically to women and
girlsconcertgoers can choose exactly
which projects (from at least 120 options,
including a new school building for Hum-
aira) their ticket sales will fund.
The more intimate side of the Chime
project will come through in the short
films, which will be executive produced
by Hayek Pinault, premiering through-
out the year. From Joanna Lippers The
Supreme Price, about Nigerian democracy
activist Hafsat Abiolawho returned to
Nigeria to lead a womens organization
even after her politico parents were assas-
sinated there by rebelsto Berit Madsens
Sepideh: Letters to Einstein, about an Iranian
girl who dreams of becoming an astro-
naut, these documentaries bring to life
the strength and power of women, says
Giannini, in a way that only film can.
Rounding out the Chime for Change
team is journalist and activist Mariane
Pearl, whose husband, reporter Daniel
Pearl, was murdered while on assignment
in Pakistan. Pondering how a woman like
Humaira risks her life every day to fight
the status quo, Pearl says, I think what
happens to Humaira is that shes in some-
thing bigger than herself, you know? We
should all be involved in something bigger
than ourselves. How interesting is it to al-
ways stay in our own little world?
To view the films and read interviews with
Hayek Pinault, Obaid Chinoy, Lipper, and
Pearl, visit ELLE.com/chimeforchange.
CHIME IN
Who runs the world? Girls! With a pantheon of starsand a series
of poignant documentariesGucci is giving big to women across
the globe. By Maggie Bullock
READY FOR LIFTOFF
Sepidehs future
astronaut; (below,
from left) Beyonc,
Hayek Pinault,
Giannini, and the
subjects of Humaira
and The Supreme Price
youre poor and weak and you dont know
your rights
In that case, you need someone to make
you heardin other words, to chime.
Obaid Chinoy is one of a group of well-
known filmmakers, plus countless celeb-
rities and activists, who have teamed up
with Gucci to launch Chime for Change,
an initiative led by the powerhouse trio
of Beyonc, Salma Hayek Pinault, and
Gucci creative director Frida Giannini.
Their goal? Nothing less than empow-
ering women worldwide: raising funds
and awareness for education, health, and
justice for all women. The scope of such
52 www. e l l e. c o m
advertisement
On April 10, 2013, ELLE celebrated the 6th Annual Women
in Music Issue with a VIP concert event at The Edison Ballroom
in New York City. Martha Wainwright, Rita Ora, and multi-
platinum musician Kelly Rowland gave stellar performances
while DJ Harley Viera-Newton rounded off the night with
the ultimate dance party set. The audience, a lively group of
music luminaries and fashion insiders enjoyed a COVERGIRL
photobooth and touch-up stationsand were gifted vibrant
LED wristbands synched to the music for a truly electrifying
atmosphere. Notable attendees included industry insiders
DJ Kiss, Chelsea Leyland, LaLa Anthony, as well as
designers Alejandro Ingelmo, Olivier Theyskens, Maria
Cornejo, and Cushnie et Ochs.
PROUDLY SPONSORED BY
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ELLE INSIDER TASTEMAKER
A
sk anyone in James Colarussos social circle what they do,
and a confused pause will ensue. Mind you, his crew is made
up not of dilettantes but of multihyphenates. Cola russo
himself is hard to pin down to one job title: In addition to
his main focus, jewelry, hes tried his hand at painting, sculp-
ture, woodworking, and furniture design (a capsule collec-
tion of raw-edged-wood interiors pieces made in Nicaragua
is forthcoming). Even his collection of heirloomesque jewelry
came about in a characteristically low-key fashion. Cola russo
has no formal training in the field; seven years ago, he made
his first piece, a large concave ring, while bored on vacation
on Long Island. The style is still in the collection today. There
are lots of things that I dont know how to do that any normal
jeweler would know, he freely admits. Having an idea and find-
ing a way to get to that idea is more appealing to me.
Not content to split his time among five avocations, he has
also made forays into construction; currently he is con-
verting a circa 1908 carriage house in Williamsburg,
Brooklyn, into a livable home. When he decides to host
a party for nine of his closest friends, the 56-year-old
jeweler is still only about halfway there; much of his
house remains tarp-strewn. Clearly, Colarusso is a fan
of the DIY method, and that extends to entertaining.
And as he preps for the evening, its clear that nostal-
gia is the driving force of his aesthetic. The antique sil-
verware is his grandmothers; the china belonged to the
grandfather of his girlfriend, boutique owner Christine
Ganeaux; and the long dining table was hewn from
beams salvaged in the course of renovating the carriage
house. His guestswho include fashion consultant
Andrea Linett, filmmaker Sakae Ishikawa, and pastry
chef Wayne Brachmanfeel
right at home in the lo-fi surround-
ings. While their host cooks paella
in the wood-burning stove, the friends
reminisce about sneaking into Talking Heads con-
certs as outer-borough teens.
Many of the guests are sporting pieces that Colarusso has
custom-designed for them. Says Linett, Its personal jewelry, but
not personal jewelry thats, like, namby-pamby. Its solid, and it feels
very 70s to me. It doesnt feel like a statement piece thats going
to go out of style. Colarusso calls his work intensely per sonal
nostalgic in a certain way, and romantic. A chunky pendant was
inspired by a particularly tragic chapter in his family history.
His violinist grandfather fought in World War I but was granted
leave to play in a string quartet, during which time his regiment
was sent to the front and everyone was killed. A cigarette lighter
made from a piece of the regiments melted-down can-
non was his grandfathersand now Colarussosonly
memento. One side bears a 13, considered a lucky num-
ber in his familys native Sicily. Its always been this kind
of mythical talisman I carry around everywhere. The im-
age of that 13, which is fairly largeits the size of a silver
dollarhas always stuck with me. Appropriately, each
piece in his collection, whether its a pendant bearing a
forget-me-not seal or an ID bracelet that reads BABY, has
the appeal of a handed-down treasure.
As the dinner gets under way, its clear that Cola-
russos sentimentality is shared by the group. His circle
of friends toasts him with shouted praise: Talented!
Loving! Generous! Ganeaux yells, Handsome!
Linett adds, And he makes a really good paella.
ROUGHING IT (From top
left) Colarusso at his
worktable;
Ganeauxs paintings
line the headboard;
Ganeaux and
Colarusso, outside
the carriage house;
the designer,
midconstruction;
guests at the dining
table made from
antique beams;
a 14K yellow gold
61 bracelet
($4,850) and gold
and silver Large
Point pendant ($255)
from Colarussos
jewelry collection
chef W
h h
SENTIMENTAL
VALUE
i
Jeweler James Colarusso opens his
Williamsburg, Brooklyn, home to an artistic
crowd. By Vronique Hyland
54 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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ELLE INSIDER STYLESETTER
O
n the list of things that Ithe daughter of two scientists, who
somehow became a fashion writerdont expect to encounter
on a visit to a showroom: NGC 6397. Located 8,200 light-
years away from the New York fashion world, it is the spheri-
cal collection of 400,000 stars that my parents, both professors of
astronomy at Indiana University, study to see how the structure of
a globular cluster and the X-ray-emitting binaries within it evolves
over eons as a result of gravitational interactions. Yet its just this
celestial body that I see on the inspiration board for 6397, the new
in-house collection from The News, the legendary SoHo show-
room whose current clients include Tess Giberson, Tim Coppens,
and Common Projects (right), and which has served as a launch-
pad for the bright young talents behind such brands as Alexander
Wang, Band of Outsiders, 3.1 Phillip Lim, and The Row. Every-
thing is so immediate; the seasons pass and its on to the next
its a lovely reminder that there are different scales of time, says
founder Stella Ishii (known to practically everyone in the industry
as just Stella) of the Hubble Space Telescope image.
Born Mayumi Stella Ishii in Yokohama, Japan, to a Japanese
mother and a part-Irish father, who gave her her starry Angli-
cized moniker, she got her start in fashion as Rei Kawakubos
international-sales representative and de facto interpreter working
at Comme des Garons in Tokyo in the early 80s. Ive worked
with some really wonderful designers, says Stella. But Ive never
seen myself as a designer. Yet over the years Stella has perfected
her own menswear-inspired signature style, purchasing Levis or
A.P.C. pants big enough to fall to her hips, then having them al-
tered to a trim silhouette thats been adopted by the crew of inef-
fably cool girls who work at The Newsand, one might add, in
looser iterations by boyfriend-jeans aficionados everywhere. So
when the team designed denim for 6397, they crafted the super-
lative loose skinny, which has a slightly sagged backside but is
fitted through the calf and ankle. Thesealong with a range of
cashmere cotton tops and oversize knits that are reinterpretations
of favorite pieces Stella and company have in their closetsare
available at Ikram in Chicago and Maxfield in L.A. So how did
Stella find her astronomical inspiration, I wonder? 6-3-9-7 is actu-
ally just the alphanumeric counterpart of N-E-W-S on an iPhone
keypad, she confides. Then we saw the beautiful telescope photo
on Google Image. I prefer to think it was written in the stars.
STELLAR
EVOLUTION
ALL THE NEWS
At The News showroom in SoHo,
Alison S. Cohn discovers that the object
of her astronomer parents research is
much closer than she thought
IF THE SHOE FITS (From top) Monk-strap
creeper; Common Projects
designers Girolami and Poopat,
in their Meatpacking District
studio; Bball with internal wedge
What are the projects? recalls
Common Projects designer Peter
Poopat. Thats what Stella wanted
to know the first time we met. The
answer turned out to be singular:
hand-stitched Italian napa leather kicks,
now favored by Jay-Z and Frank Ocean.
A former art director for V magazine,
New York Citybased Poopat founded
the ambiguously titled company as
a creative agency with his pal Flavio
Girolami, who lives in San Benedetto,
Italy, so they could work on any
variety of to-be-defined transatlantic
collaborations. Then theyand their
gal palsfell head over heels for
elevated streetwear. The boys started
taking custom orders from women for
their mens shoes in smaller sizes, and
after a chance encounter with a vision
in a white T-shirt, jeans, and high-tops
on Lafayette Street in Manhattan, they
quietly launched Woman by Common
Projects on e-tail site La Garonne in
2010. For this fall, the line includes a
full range of androgynous silhouettes
with subtle feminine details, such as a
python-pattern suede slip-on; a patent
monk-strap creeper; and their best-
seller, a sneaker with a two-inch internal
wedge. Its a little extra helper, says
Girolami. Its not Isabel Marant.
STAR CLUSTER (From left) The cast of The News: Coworkers Tomoko Lee, Stella, Yuri Sin,
Lori Lindsay, Jenny Smith, Soos Packard, Hannah Peyser, Jessie Tunstall, and
Yasuka Kobori; a Hubble Space Telescope image of NGC 6397 from projects on
which the authors parents, Phyllis Lugger and Haldan Cohn, were coinvestigators
P
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Rumanoffs Fine Jewelry, Hamden, CT - Rumanoffsfinejewelry.com | Michael C. Fina, New York, NY - Michaelcfina.com | Keegans Jewelers, Norwood, MA - Keegansjewelers.com
CASE CLOSED
Dont let the stress of what to wear get in the way of your perfect
summer vacation. Creative Director Joe Zee reveals suitcase-filling
strategies for whatever destination (or temperature) youll be dressing for
T
here are two types of travelers: Smart packers and overpack-
ers. Youre either a careful curator with a knack for the old
roll-and-stuff technique (like bend and snaponly this time
involving tough choices and spacial reasoning) or you shove
the entire contents of your closet into your bag because what if
you find yourself in a situation where only those orange pants (the ones
you never wear) would be acceptable?? As an editor, it is painful for
me to admit that I am of the latter cohort. Yes, I can edit pages
and whittle thousands of runway looks down to just the high-
lights of the season. But my own suitcase? Forget about it.
After some belabored introspection, Ive figured out why:
My approach to getting dressed is all of-the-moment instinct,
and its hard to imagine putting together an ensemble for a des-
tination until Im actually there, taking in the vibeand expe-
riencing the climate. The whole equation is even more dizzying
now that designersperhaps in a nod to the global-warming
crisis?are mixing up what were previously hard-and-fast
rules for the seasons: The spring collections were littered
with leather and fur, and the fall shows were full of
sheer and swim options.
Though Ive made peace with my personal bring-everything
habit, theres hope for the rest of you. You see, Im an excel-
lent packing coach, when it comes to both tips (for instance, the
Russian doll: tuck smaller bags into larger bags, lingerie into
shoes, jewelry into clothing pockets; and then theres the old
FedEx Defuzz: the clear adhesive of a flat FedEx or UPS enve-
lope doubles as a lint roller) andmy real specialtyadvice for
what you should wear when you get there.
Whether youre dashing off to Bali or heading
to my sweet home of New York City, consult my
quick-pack primer to save time and prevent those
throw-it-all-in frenzies that result in not just stress
but, upon arrival, decidedly unchic mishmashes
of random garments. Bon voyage! Ill be beam-
ing like a proud papa as you, light as a
feather, breeze through security while I
check enough belongings for a weeks
worth of fashion-show front rows.
SANTIAGO,
CHILE
Layer up! While the
city begs for cool, the
neighboring snowy
mountains require cozy.
WHAT TO BRING: Sleek
separates, to be heated
up with sumptuous,
textured outerwear.
bout it.
red out why:
ment instinct,
mble for a des-
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al-warming
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Whether youre
to my sweet home
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th t row-it-all-in fre
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of o random garm
ing like
feather
check
worth
BALI
,

INDONESIA
Scorching heat does
not give license
to parade around
in gym shorts.
WHAT TO BRING: Mix-and-
match tops and skirts
in wild prints, crisp
cottons, and airy
lace. And, as if made
for an overhead
compartment,
gladiator sandals like
thesethey roll flat.
80
A TO ZEE ELLE
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SAINT-
TROPEZ,
FRANCE
The land of leading
ladies la Brigitte
Bardot calls for around-
the-clock Euro chic.
WHAT TO BRING: A printed
number, such as this
one by Jenni Kayne,
which can work as a
beach cover-up by day
but transform into a
sophisticated caftan
at night with heels,
simple jewelry, and
a bright clutch in a
complementary hue.
RIO, BRAZIL
Though it is technically
winter here in July,
the world capital of
sexy is no place for a
parka. Accordingly,
its iconic beaches are
bustling year-round.
WHAT TO BRING: Bikinis! The
skimpier your suits, the
better (both for packing
purposes and making
new friends). And dont
forget your sunscreen.
CASABLANCA,
MOROCCO
If youre venturing to
North Africa, its going
to be hot. So why not
look hot too? Think
modern-day Casablanca
with a touch of whimsy.
WHAT TO BRING: Sleeveless
sheaths for daytime;
coordinating coats for
cool desert nights. (I
love this Akris combos
quirky camels.)
NEW YORK
CITY
The City That Never
Sleeps is notorious
for defying seasons
and temperatures.
WHAT TO BRING: Devil-may-
care leatherthe more
black, the better.
GOA, INDIA
This region has such a
luxe historywhy not
experiment with it?
WHAT TO BRING: Brocades,
intricate patterns,
and paisley prints
that can be worn all
together or one at a
time with solids; plus
bold accessories.
AMSTERDAM
The Dutch are experts
at looking stylish
without an ounce
of stuffiness.
WHAT TO BRING: Happy
clothes (fun florals,
dynamic colors, and
whimsical silhouettes)
fit for bike tours,
canals, andhey, why
not?those famous
coffee shops.
75
www. e l l e. c o m 59
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GOODBYE CLOGGED PORES.
HELLO SMOOTHER
,
SOFTER SKIN.
AFTER JUST ONE WASH.
Theres a scrub that targets dirt and oil so you see smoother skin after just one
wash and with continued use, clearer pores. And its gentle enough to use daily. SERIOUSLY.
FACE ANYTHING
TM
EDITED BY JOANN PAILEY DRESSED-UP CAMO, MENSWEAR MOTIFS, AND MORE
Embroidered velvet lap coat, price on request, cotton velour trousers,
$995, lambskin slingbacks, $775, all, BALENCIAGA, call 212-206-0872
In his debut collection for
Balenciaga, Alexander Wang
went straight to the head of the
fashion class, reimagining classic
couture volumes as shapely
coats over trim trousers
Balenciaga
Balenciaga
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more? elle.com/fashionfile
SWEAR MOTIFS, AND
w w w. e l l e. c o m 61
ELLE FASHIONTRENDS
4. Gianvito Rossi
3. Super
2. Christopher Kane
1. Michael Kors 1. Michael Kors
ALEXANDER WANG
BRAND NAMETK BRAND NAMETK
CORPS
FUSION
1. Cotton broadcloth jacket, MICHAEL KORS, $2,850, call 866-709-KORS | 2. Buckle-trimmed dress, CHRISTOPHER KANE, $2,075, collection at Barneys New York | 3. Sunglasses, SUPER,
$219, collection at Atrium, NYC, Miami | 4. Ponyskin pump, GIANVITO ROSSI, $880, visit gianvitorossi.com | 5. Leather bag, PROENZA SCHOULER, $2,245, visit proenzaschouler.com |
Model at right wears: Silk and Golden Island fox fur jacket, price on request, wool and silk skirt, $3,100, shoes, $1,335, all, CHRISTOPHER KANE, collection at Blake, Chicago
Blending in is not an option:
Camo makes a fashionable
about-face on seductive heels
and cutout dresses
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2. Christopher Kane
ER WANG ALEXANDE
trimmed dress, CHRISTOPHER KANE, $2,075, collection at Barneys
, GIANVITO ROSSI, $880, visit gianvitorossi.com | 5. Leather bag, PROENZA SCHOULER, $2
rice on request, wool and silk skirt, $3,100, shoes, $1,335, all, CHRISTOPHER KANE, collec
3. Super
4. Gianvito Rossi
1. Cotton broadcloth jacket, MICHAEL KORS, $2,850, call 866-709
$219 collection at Atrium NYC Miami | 4 Ponyskin pump
9-KORS | 2. Buckle-
GIANVITO ROSSI $8
MICHAEL KORS CHRISTOPHER KANE
5. Proenza Schouler
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62 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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Sail into Summer
Chandon Limited Edition Brut Classic
Available at select retailers and Chandon.com
ELLE FASHIONTRENDS
7. Bally
5. Bulgari
MAN UP
1. Leather and houndstooth clutch, TOMMY HILFIGER, price on request, call 212-223-1824 | 2. Wool vest, MARC JACOBS, $550, visit marcjacobs.com | 3. Yellow gold and enamel cuff links,
DAVID WEBB, prices on request, visit davidwebb.com | 4. Wool skirt, ANTONIO MARRAS, $1,175, collection at select Saks Fifth Avenue stores nationwide | 5. Pink gold watch, BULGARI, price
on request, call 800-BULGARI | 6. Satin organza dress, EMILIA WICKSTEAD, $1,340, visit emiliawickstead.com | 7. Leather shoe, BALLY, $750, call 212-751-9082 | Model above wears:
Wool blazer, $1,600, skirt, $685, sequined leather gloves, price on request, leather T-strap pumps, $1,695, all, MARC JACOBS, call 212-343-1490
Menswear motifspinstripes,
tweed, oxfords, cuff links, and
oversize watchesescape the
boardroom this season
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1. Tommy Hilfiger 1.
7. Bally
5. Bulgarii
2. Marc Jacobs
4. Antonio Marras
3. David Webb
6. Emilia Wickstead
h TOMMY HILFIGER,
STELLA McCARTNEY MARC JACOBS SAINT LAURENT
66 www. e l l e. c o m
Info +1-310-319-9600 info@testiusa.com www.rebecca.it
EDITED BY JOANN PAILEY ACCESSORIES ELLE FASHION
SPLENDOR
IN THE
GRASS
Going on a picnic? The
seasons freshest bags
are a feast for the eyes
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Checkered bag, PRADA,
$3,500, visit prada.com
Leather clutch, CLINE, $2,950,
collection at Barneys New York
Metal and Perspex bag,
CHARLOTTE OLYMPIA, price on
request, visit charlotteolympia.com
70 www. e l l e. c o m
ACCESSORIES ACCESSORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS ELLE FASHION
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HOT UNDER
THE COLLAR
Sleek, strong shapes with accents such as crystals
and stones add graphic glamour to any neckline
Crystal pendant necklace,
DRIES VAN NOTEN, $500,
collection at AMarees,
Newport Beach, CA
Ball-trimmed necklace,
CLINE, $730, collection at
The Webster, Miami Beach
Silver-tone brass and calfskin
necklace, BALENCIAGA, $565,
call 212-206- 0872
72 www. e l l e. c o m
WORKBOOK ELLE FASHION
ELLE: When did you decide you wanted to
get into politics?
ANNA VALENCIA: In third grade, when I wrote
an essay saying I wanted to be the first
woman president. Since then, Ive always
been fascinated by politics and leadership
roles. I would knock on doors with my
father for our mayor in my hometown,
and in high school I was student
body president. My grandfather even
nicknamed me the politician. I never
could tell if it was a compliment or an
insult. After college, I worked on various
campaigns in Virginia and Michigan. It
was through an old campaign buddy that
I got my foot in the door of the mayors
office.
ELLE: As an assistant to the mayor, your job
is to serve as a liaison between him and
city council members, and your day can
take you anywhere from a ribbon cutting
for a library to a fundraiser at a swank
restaurant. How do you decide what to
wear in the morning?
AV: The mayor always reminds us that we
work for the taxpayers, not for him, and
its very important to him that the people
of the city feel at home in City Hall. So I
dress depending on the functions that are
going on that day. If Im out mentoring
students, Ill wear jeans and a blouse with
ballet flats, or boots if its cold. If I have
to go to a nighttime event, I like sturdy
pumpsthe mayor moves so quickly, you
want to be able to keep up.
ELLE: How would you describe the way
people in your office dress?
AV: Even though its a young officethere
are lots of people in their twenties and
thirtieswe dress pretty conservatively.
Im trying to branch out with bright colors
and patternsmy fianc encouraged me
to do that. At times, I think he styles me
better than I would style myself.
ELLE: Whats your go-to work outfit?
AV: Men have it so easyfour suits,
and youre done. I wear a lot of A-line
dresses; I feel like they cut you in a
flattering way.
ELLE: What do you think of the mayors
style?
AV: He just wears suits during the week,
but on the weekends he may dress down.
Hes always a sharp dresser.
Amanda FitzSimons
Knit dress, Alexander McQueen from Net-
a-porter.com, $2,240, visit net-a-porter.com.
Ponyskin clutch, Burberry Prorsum, $1,295, visit
burberry.com. Link necklace, R.J. Graziano, $110,
visit rjgraziano.com. Stone cuff, Chlo, $895, at
Chlo boutiques nationwide. Python and leather
sandals, Giorgio Armani, $995, at Giorgio
Armani boutiques nationwide
T HE WOMAN: Anna Valencia, 28, Chicago
T HE JOB: Assistant to Mayor Rahm
Emanuel
T HE DRE S S CODE : Feminine, classic
dresses; structured blazers; and fitted,
Jackie O.esque cardigans from fast-
fashion labels such as H&M. (FLOTUS
picks like Michael Kors and Jason Wu
are favorite designers, but you dont
make a lot as a public servant.)
POLITICS OF STYLE
The right-hand woman to Chicago mayor Rahm Emanuel
gets our vote for on-the-job polish
74 www. e l l e. c o m
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WORKBOOK ELLE FASHION
At the door to Emanuels
office
Valencia power walks
Chicago City Hall
From top: Gold-tone bike-chain necklace, Michael Kors, price on request, call
866-709-KORS. Blazer, Bebe, $169, visit bebe.com. Knit dress, Nicole Miller
Artelier, $420, visit nicolemiller.com. Leather belt with ayers snakeskin trim,
Meredith Wendell, $175, visit shop.meredithwendell.com. Cashmere sweater,
J.Crew, $268, visit jcrew.com. Suede sandal with metal detail, Aldo, $90,
visit aldoshoes.com. Leather bag, Henri Bendel, $450, available in August at
henribendel.com
ANNAS STAPLES
Matte satin jacket, O2nd
from Barneys New York,
$495, visit barneys
.com. Stretch dress,
Zero+Maria Cornejo
from Shopbop.com,
$795, visit shopbop.com.
Art deco ring, Janis by
Janis Savitt, $240, call
212-245-7396
If Im wearing a dress
with a cardigan or blazer,
I like to belt it. I feel like
those skinny belts make
me look skinny.
ks
l
OFFICE MEETING
I love wearing Toms shoes
to walk to work when its
warm out and then switch to
heels when I get to the
office. They fit very nicely in
a big work bag.
I always try to dress
appropriately for whatever
work event I have. If I have a
meeting in the office, I
usually wear a dress or
pencil skirt.
Knit dress, No. 21 from
Shopbop.com, $1,480,
visit shopbop.com.
Sweater, Jil Sander
Navy from Barneys
New York, price on
request, at Barneys New
York. Acrylic and crystal
necklace, Sequin, $150,
visit sequin-nyc.com.
Sterling silver cuff, Push
by Pushmataaha, $836,
collection at shopbop
.com. Patent leather
sandals, Jimmy Choo,
$775, call 866-524-
6687. Her own belt
FUNDRAISING EVENT
76 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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4525 COLLINS AVENUE

MIAMI BEACH, FLORIDA

305-674-5585

ELLESPAMIAMI.COM
Service. Style. Serenity.
At the ELLE Spa, located at the iconic Eden Roc Renaissance Miami Beach, relax and rejuvenate with an ocean-view room, 50-minute
spa treatment, special gift, and access to our VIP lounges. Prepare to be pampered! Rates from $359. Offer available year-round.
To book the ELLE Spa Serenity Package call 800-319-5354 or visit ELLESpaMiami.com and use promotional code SPA.
WHERE STYLE
MEETS SERENITY
& BEAUTY KNOWS
NO BOUNDS
EMILY DOUGHERTY
ELLE Beauty & Fitness Director
advertisement
EDITED BY ANNE SLOWEY
WE HEARTess Gibersons 10-piece capsule line for Shopbop includes a sharp leather shift and a disco-
fabulous silver jumpsuit. // Female response to Nicholas Kirkwoods new mens line of chevron smoking slippers
and gold-studded lace-ups prompted him to create similar flat styles for his womens fall collection. Find this fancy
footwear at the British phenoms second U.S. storeEncore at Wynn Las Vegas. // Fine-jewelry brand James Banks
is collaborating with NoLIta boutique Warm on a limited-edition Kamehameha butterfly necklace.
more? elle.com/fashionfile
BROOKLYN
Williamsburg isnt short on indie
boutiques, but new emporium
Swords-Smith, the brainchild of
husband-and-wife duo Briana
Swords and Ryan Smith, raises
the bar with collections from
hard-to-find independent labels
such as Soulland, Feral Childe,
and Dessu. swords-smith.com
PARIS
Taschens new monographs
explore the cults of two very
different Paris-based designers:
Belgian minimalist turned Dior
New Look revivalist Raf Simons
(shown), and, at the other end
of the spectrum, California-born
prince of darkness Rick Owens.
taschen.com
Willia
bouti
RIO DE
JANEIRO
An 1870s naval expedition is an
unlikely starting point for a fine-
jewelry collection. But Brazilian
jeweler H.Sterns Iris line took
the HMS Challenger, which sailed
around the world in search
of marine-life treasures, as
inspiration for its newest gems.
hstern.net
SAG HARBOR,
NY
Dont pay any attention to
what they write about you.
Just measure it in inches,
Andy Warhol once advised. The
bewigged ones latest headline
grabber? Snaps of pals such
as Keith Haring (below) at
housewares emporium MONC
XIII, opening July 12. monc13.com
BARCELONA
When you think of Nobuyoshi
Arakis S&M-tinged photographs,
sunglasses probably arent the
first thing that springs to mind.
But Etnia Barcelonas collab with
the photographer should change
that. The shades have already
been snapped up by Beyonc.
etniabarcelona.com
LOS ANGELES
Greg Chait is no longer just
making blanket statements.
The denizen of Venice Beach,
California, who made his name
with $2,000 cashmere throws, is
now focusing on ultraluxurious
ready-to-wear. After all, who can
put a price on cozy comfort?
elder-statesman.com
LONDON
Known for its mens trunks (and
collaborations with the likes of
David Hicks and Nick Wooster),
Orlebar Brown has branched
into womens swimwear with
a 19-piece collection including
maillots and bikinis in punchy
citrus hues that are just
begging for some Miami sun.
orlebarbrown.com
WE HEAR
us silve
st
XI X
.
with
change
already
Beyonc.
mm
DESIGNERS
,
SHOPS
,
HOT SPOTS
,
AND MORE
w w w. e l l e. c o m 79
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NEW DESIGNER ELLE FASHION
NAME: Simon Porte
AGE: 23
PROVENANCE: Salon-de-Provence,
France
CURRICULUM VITAE: After a mere
two months attending ESMOD (Paris
cole Suprieure des Arts et techniques
de la Mode) in 2008, Porte dropped out to
start his own line, a spur-of-the-moment
decision. I didnt plan anything, he says.
Everything was very spontaneous and
naive. His mother had just passed away,
so he dubbed the label Jacquemusher
maiden nameas a tribute to her.
WATER BABY: Paris Fashion Week
calls to mind larger-than-life venues such
as the Grand Palais, so Portes fall show
was quite a departure. Editors gamely
sheathed their Nicholas Kirkwoods in
plastic bags to step onto the deck of
a public pool in the Bastille. There
are all these classic shows, these chic
shows, and to see those people wearing
plastic bags, it makes me smile, recalls
Porte, who sported pink swim trunks
for his bow. But the designers updated
French classics (mariner stripes, bon chic,
bon genre shirting, and sportif suits)
incongruously paired with drenched hair
and Zuckerberg-esque shower slides
certainly made the effort worth it.
MUSE YOU CAN USE: Inspired by
Isabelle Adjanis 1984 music video for
the song Pull Marine, which Porte saw
as an impressionable 12-year-old, the
collection channels what Porte calls this
very French, nonchalant girl, very bored
by life. Shes 18 and already fed up. He
also counts another bewitching Gallic
brunette as a touchstone: model and
record impresario Caroline de Maigret,
who starred in his spring 2012 campaign.
JOKERS WILD: Signature witty
touches include an oversize tunic with the
outline of a sexy red maillot, a completely
transparent top worn with a midi skirt
and a tied-at-the-waist sweatshirt, and a
T-shirt that reads LE PULL MARINE. In all
my collections, I try to be ironic or funny.
I dont know if people understand it, or
if the message is clear, but I always try,
the designer says. As for the risqu see-
through elements? I dont like the word
sexy, Porte says. The idea, he clarifies,
was not sexy, but more sexual. Sex
mixed with rock n roll.
DONT QUIT YOUR DAY JOB:
Believe it or not, Porte still works as a
sales associate at Comme des Garons in
Paris, a job that has its perks (beyond the
employee discount): I learn a lot, every
day, about the customers, what they like
and dont like, what they want and dont
want. Early mornings and late nights are
spent in his studio, refining his designs.
PRICES: From $270 for a top to $910 for
a jacket
STOCKISTS: Opening Ceremony and
Maryam Nassir Zadeh in New York;
Dover Street Market in London;
Wood Wood in Berlin; The Broken
Arm in Paris
POOL PARTY
A young upstart transfixes Paris Fashion Week with his
tweaked take on traditional French staples.
By Vronique Hyland
ON DECK (Left) Models strut the poolside runway
at Jacquemus fall 2013 show; (top right)
designer Porte takes his bow in swim trunks
P
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80 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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EDITED BY JOANN PAILEY THE NAMES YOU NEED TO KNOW FOR FALL, AND MORE
more? elle.com/fashionfile /
From top: Hand-cut stone, crystal, and gold-plated steel bracelet, $485,
pav gold crystal and gold-plated steel bracelet, $340, pav gray
crystal and gold-plated steel bracelet, $274, hand-cut stone, crystal,
and gold-plated steel bracelet, $280, all, LELE SADOUGHI, collection
at Fivestory, NYC
NEXT BIG THINGS
T
heres nothing quite like the thrill of discovering new talent,
and every season the biannual frenzy colloquially known as
Fashion Month introduces us to a handful of emerging de-
signers on the verge of becoming household names. It would
be stingy of us to anoint just one, so instead weve chosen four
rising starsfrom New York, London, Milan, and Paris, and
all with entirely unique sensibilitiesas well as an up-and-
coming jewelry designer, Lisa Lele Sadoughi, whose de-
signs are pictured here. Sadoughi honed her skills at J.Crew
before launching her eponymous line of cheerfully hued
enamel and semiprecious-stone jewelry. No matter which
way your taste leans, rest assured that any of these fresh
standouts will get you through the season in style.
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www. e l l e. c o m 83
ELLE SHOPS ONES TO WATCH
1.NEW YORK CI TY OSTWALD HELGASON
2.LONDON EMILIA WICKSTEAD
N
CKSTEADDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD TT
D HELGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSON OON O C OOOOOOOSS W
MERRY PRANKSTERS Susanne
Ostwald and Ingvar
Helgasons fall
collection drew on
inspirations as
far-flung as William
Morris (rich botanical
brocades), Charles
Baudelaire (whose
stern portrait graces a
sweatshirt), and Little
Shop of Horrors (those
sweet floral short
trousers depict
carnivorous plants).
The brand has been
gaining rapid
momentum, thanks to
street-style mainstays
Miroslava Duma and
Natalie Joos and a
firm NYC fan base.
ENGLISH ROSE While her
London peers are
pushing the
boundaries with
digital prints and
wacky extras, Emilia
Wickstead holds firm
to ladylike classics.
For fall, she tapped
motifs from glen plaid
to antique floral
prints (gleaned from
images of vintage
wallpaper) but still
included plenty of
youthful elements
(e.g., a pearl-
embellished
minidress). After all,
shes a favorite of the
Duchess of
Cambridge.
1930s fashion models
Murders in the
Rue Morgue,
based on a
story by Edgar
Allan Poe
La Belle Iseult
by William Morris
Bagpipers
by William Henry Pyne
John Henry Dearle
tapestry
Harlequin-
tiled stairwell
Double-face-silk polo dress,
OSTWALD HELGASON, $1,097,
collection at Saks Fifth
Avenue stores nationwide
Printed silk shorts, OSTWALD
HELGASON, $657, collection
at Opening Ceremony
stores nationwide
Brocade trousers,
OSTWALD HELGASON, $787,
collection at Louis, Boston
Printed silk organza
shirt, EMILIA
WICKSTEAD, $775, visit
emiliawickstead.com
Houndstooth pump, MANOLO
BLAHNIK FOR EMILIA WICKSTEAD,
price on request, to special
order, call 212-582-3007
Pearl-embellished
silk-blend tuxedo dress,
EMILIA WICKSTEAD, $3,960,
visit emiliawickstead.com
Plaid wool coat, EMILIA
WICKSTEAD, $3,080, visit
emiliawickstead.com
Plaid silk organza skirt,
EMILIA WICKSTEAD, $2,250,
visit emiliawickstead.com
Cotton baseball cap,
OSTWALD HELGASON,
$138, collection at
modaoperandi.com
Cotton sweatshirt,
OSTWALD HELGASON, $268,
collection at Saks Fifth
Avenue stores nationwide
84 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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www.GilletteVenus.com
2013 The Gillette Company. Available in multiple scents.
RADIANCE REVEALED.
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ELLE SHOPS ONES TO WATCH


3.MILAN MARCO DE VINCENZO
4.PARIS VIKA GAZINSKAYA
DON DRAPER Marco de
Vincenzos pin-sharp
pleats bring to mind a
modern-day Madame
Grs. The designers
collection took
inspiration from
nature and the
Spatialism art
movement of the late
1940s (think slashed
monochrome
canvases). De
Vincenzos holiday
snaps of palm fronds
popped up on striated
knitwear separates,
while somber
felted-wool looks with
geometric patterns
recalled the marble
quarries of his native
Rome.
AYA
FRENCH TWIST Sculptural,
pretty, and a little bit
quirky: Vika
Gazinskayas wares
are the meeting point
of all three. The
designer, who splits
her time between
Moscow and Paris,
built her fall
collection around the
idea of returning to
nature, finding
harmony in the world
around us. The result
is a tongue-in-cheek
take on a Russian
winter. Stuffed fur
raccoons and foxes
hung around models
necks, accenting 50s
cocoonlike
silhouettes.
An Italian church door
Madame Grs
pleated gown
Street-style fur
Moon and stars
Salvador Dal
Palm fronds in
Siracusa, Italy
Lurex sweater, price on
request, skirt, $3,800,
both, MARCO DE VINCENZO,
visit marcodevincenzo.com
Leather pliss skirt, MARCO
DE VINCENZO, $1,050, visit
marcodevincenzo.com
Silk dress, VIKA
GAZINSKAYA,
$2,440,
collection at
net-a-porter.com
Mohair coat, VIKA GAZINSKAYA,
$2,733, collection at
net-a-porter.com
Faux-fur stole, VIKA
GAZINSKAYA, $2,000,
collection at
avenue32.com
High-waisted wool
skirt, VIKA GAZINSKAYA,
$1,627, collection at
net-a-porter.com
Hand-embroidered wool top, VIKA GAZINSKAYA,
$2,213, collection at net-a-porter.com
Shearling, alpaca, and
patent leather coat,
MARCO DE VINCENZO,
price on request, visit
marcodevincenzo.com
Leather, Plexiglas, and pearl-detail pump,
MARCO DE VINCENZO, price on request,
similar styles at marcodevincenzo.com
Shearling, alpaca, and
duchesse-silk coat, MARCO DE
VINCENZO, price on request,
visit marcodevincenzo.com
86 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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TheBeauty of sun protection

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ove
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ELLE SHOPS ELLE EXCLUSIVE
Mink and leather
handbags, both, MICHAEL
KORS, $5,000 each, at
Michael Kors, NYC
BAGGAGE
CLAIM
N
othing quite says upgrade! like Michael Kors new
mink carryall, shown here in two styles, whether
were talking travel arrangements or fall wardrobes.
The jet-setting designer has created a luxe combina-
tion of form and function for your next far-flung getaway.
Despite the patchwork houndstooth and camo patterns,
its not an accessory intended for anyone planning on
blending in. This is one bag you wont be checking.
88 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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Showusyour
#LoveUnltereo!
@Saraoeoeslgn
Awaro-wlnnlng HLPA 8rloal Collectlon.
Saraoeoeslgn.com


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Rockville MD
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Taylor Maoe [ewelry
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SUMMER POP, KATE CHRISTENSENS APPETITE, AND MORE
S
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more? elle.com/pop-culture
VISIONAIRE
A
my Seimetz has a recurring nightmare:
Her lover has killed someone, and shes
desperate to help him bury the body.
Its ominous, but the 32-year-old writer-
director spun the dream into her feature de-
but, this years Sun Dont Shine, about an erratic
young mother and her boyfriend navigat-
ing Florida back channels with a body in the
trunk. Filmed in Seimetzs native Tampa, Shine
is all atmospheresticky, uncomfortable,
heavy with menace. Before it garnered critical
raves, a rough cut of the movie led experimen-
tal filmmaker Shane Carruth to give Seimetz
the lead in his mind-bending Sundance hit Up-
stream Color as Kris, a woman whose life is up-
ended when she unknowingly becomes the
subject of mysterious experiments.
Indeed, Seimetzs girl-next-door looks con-
ceal a fascination with dark, challenging mate-
rial. (See: her frequent collaboration with indie
films mumblegore horror faction, whose
August offering, Youre Next, has Seimetz vic-
timized in one of the movies more memorable
scenes.) Funny, then, that as an actress Seimetz
almost lost her role as a disaffected single mom
whose daughter goes missing in this season of
AMCs The Killing because she looked too
sweet. I said, No, no, no, Im from Florida,
recalls Seimetz. I know how to be nasty!
But that doesnt mean she cant do sweet. She
woos Chris ODowd in Christopher Guests
new HBO comedy, Family Treedespite some
inner turmoil. I was like, Wait! I dont usu-
ally play nice girls, says Seimetz. I dont
know how to be charming! Chris [Guest]
just stared at me, rolled his eyes, and walked
away. Maybe thats because he knew what
Seimetz didnt. Something happens with
Amy on camera, Guest says. You look at
her on set, then in the monitorand its like
watching a flower opening up. Forget the
nightmares: This girl sounds like a Hollywood
dream.Nojan Aminosharei
In front of the camera or
behind it, Amy Seimetz is our
newest dream weaver
PHOTOGRAPHED BY D O UG I N G L I S H
, SUMMER POP, KATE CHRISTEN
w w w. e l l e. c o m 91
MOVIES ELLE INTELLIGENCE
M
aybe its the supersize snacks and arctic air-conditioning,
but summer is the perfect time to hit the plex for comedy.
Watching a particularly good one a couple of years ago, I
laughed so hard I dumped my $10 tub of popcorn all over
the floor. So you might want to get a lid for yours, because youre
sure to be rocked by two of this seasons best: The Heat, starring
Sandra Bullock and Melissa McCarthy, and The Way, Way Back,
with Steve Carell, Toni Collette, Sam Rockwell, Maya Rudolph,
and, in his first lead role in a film, teenager Liam James. One is a
slapstick cops-and-drug-dealers shoot-em-up; the other deploys
hilarity to spring a miserable kid from the family vacation from
hell. Both are the kind of smart, imaginative, first-rate comedy
that anyone who likes to laugh hungers forand you wont leave
feeling underfed.
Just seeing McCarthy and Bullock in the same frame is a
great joke. I confess I expected Bullock to reprise her fabulous
turn as the slovenly, snort-laughing FBI agent in Miss Congeni-
ality. Shes a special agent in The Heat, too: Sarah Ashburn, a
prim, ambitious know-it-all whose colleagues cant stand her,
because she always nails her preyas she reminds everyone
as often as possible. When her boss lends her to the Boston
police to help take down a murderous drug ring, Ashburn plays
straight woman to McCarthys wild-ass, foulmouthed Detec-
tive Shannon Mullins. Sisters under the skin, they make such a
great pair that a sequel is said to be in the works already. We can
only hope thats true, because for all the raucous goofing, The
Heats fearless female sense of humor makes it a great womens
movie. While both actors excel at physical comedy, screenwriter
Katie Dippold and director Paul Feig (Bridesmaids) clearly know
that McCarthys genius peaks when it comes roaring out of her
inspired red-hot motormouth. One of The Heats best comic set
pieces (there are plenty) introduces us to Mullins as she homes in
on a john whos just been serviced by a hooker in broad daylight
in his car. Hoping to placate the detective, he says that he cant
have sex with his wife: She just had a baby, and itsewww!
messy down there. The one-sided Armageddon that ensues is a
thrilling verbal bloodbath, laced with witchy female laughter.
While The Heat is a major 20th Century Fox comedy, The Way,
Way Back is an indie reportedly made for less than $5 million and
smartly snapped up by Fox Searchlight, the studios wily boutique
divi sion. But these flicks have more than a studio in common
both involve bad families. Agent Ashburn has a painful secret,
while Mullins ferocious Irish matriarch (acidic Saturday Night
Live alum Jane Curtin) disowned her for busting her own brother
to get him into rehab. Handled properly, such elements enrich a
comedy by grounding it, however briefly, in reality. But the bad
families in Way, Wayall of them on vacation at a Massachusetts
beachfeel worse. Thats because these so-called adults are aw-
ful in such an ordinary, familiar way. They ignore their children
when they arent humiliating them and have no idea whats going
on inside their adolescent heads. Luckily, theres only one real
monster among them, Trent, and Carell plays him brilliantly
without a whiff of humor. Hes the newish boyfriend of divorce
Pam (Collette), whos desperately hoping to get hitched again.
Which is why, as they drive off on vacation, when Trent starts
slyly taunting her shy 14-year-old son, Duncan ( James), Pam ap-
pears, somewhat dubiously, to be asleep.
As comedies go, this may be the most alarming opener ever:
Sociopath boyfriend hates his girlfriends son, and love-hungry
mom doesnt take issue with it. Are you laughing yet? Not to
THE BUDDY
SYSTEM
Two screen gemsboth leavening personal and familial turmoil with sharp-edged
comedyawait your dog-day pilgrimage into the cool dark. Karen Durbin reviews
SISTER ACT McCarthy and
Bullock in The Heat
MOVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
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(
2
)
THAT SICK
FEELING
Tired of murderous,
flesh-eating zombies with
their faces falling off? Of
course not. But just in case,
brainy A-list director Marc
Forster (Quantum of Solace,
Monsters Ball, Stranger Than
Fiction, Finding Neverland) is
kicking the genre way up in
adapting the Max Brooks
disaster novel World War Z.
Brad Pitt stars as a UN
troubleshooter frantically
tracking a lethal pandemic.
Bonus points for showing us
the zombies not as monsters
but as our own ruined selves.
BAD TRIP
The exhilarating filmmaker
Sebastin Silva (The Maid)
took the World Cinema
directing award at Sundance
this year with Crystal Fairy, a
road movie thats as hilarious
as it is disturbing. He cast his
charming brothers in this
quest for a hallucinogenic
Chilean cactus, but the focus
is on a terrific Gaby Hoffmann
as a hippie chick with serious
secrets and on lovable
Michael Cera as such an ugly
American that you want to
deport him yourself.
MILE-HIGH CLUB
Penlope Cruz and Antonio
Banderas have long been
muses to Pedro Almodvar,
and it shows in such films as
The Skin I Live In and his
masterpiece, Volver; they
open his new film, Im So
Excited!, an exuberant,
fast-talking sex farce set in an
airplane that calls to mind the
work of his naughty youth.
Male flight attendants
entertain the passengers with
the Pointer Sisters Im So
Excited, and theres an orgy
that just might make you
blush.K.D.
TRUST US
MOVIES
LADIES SING
THE BLUES
worry. This is the remarkable film debut of Nat
Faxon and Jim Rash, mostly known for making
hipster TValthough they won an Oscar with
director Alexander Payne for best adapted screen-
play for The Descendants. The filmmakers have
created two distinct arenas in which to play out
Duncans evolution: With the families, hes leaden
with pain and distress; the other setting is full of
pleasure, and he finds it only by taking off on an
abandoned pink-and-green girly bike and pedal-
ing furiously until he comes upon an old-fashioned
water park, complete with twisty slides and cov-
ered tubes, called the Water Wizz and presided
over by a funny and kind Sam Rockwellat his
manic best spinning wild yarns ending with such
deadpan punch lines as That crack-addled male
whore was me. Duncan has found his lifesaving,
low-rent Shangri-la and the good temporary dad
to put him on his feet.
Musicals built on previously existing songs have been around forever, but it wasnt until Mamma Mia!
and Jersey Boys hit it big that the jukebox form became a genre. (More than $3 billion in combined
worldwide gross will do that.) Now the genre is subdividing. Circling Broadway in hopes of an imminent
landing are four musicals about women composers or singers, using their own material to tell their
stories. Call it aural biographyand, sometimes, call it misguided.Jesse Green
WHO:
Season 10 American
Idol runner-up Crystal
Bowersox plays
Nashville star Patsy
Cline, whom she
resembles as much as
she does Calvin Klein
ETA:
Fall 2013
TOP SONGS:
Crazy, I Fall to
Pieces, Sweet
Dreams
PLEASE INCLUDE:
A teenage Cline
discovering her
incredibly powerful
voice upon recovering
from rheumatic fever
MAYBE NOT:
Her two bad car
accidents; her death
at age 30 in a plane
crash
PROSPECTS:
If its the same version
of the show as the
one the Times called
less an instance of
resurrection than
taxidermy in 1997,
not great
ALWAYS
PATSY CLINE
STORMY
WEATHER
BEAUTIFUL
COAL MINERS
DAUGHTER
WHO:
Broadway star Leslie
Uggams as singing
legend Lena Horne
ETA:
Fall 2013
TOP SONGS:
Come Rain or Come
Shine, Stormy
Weather, Cant Help
Lovin Dat Man
PLOT HOOK:
Friends try to convince
the reclusive Horne
to make a Broadway
comeback in 1981
PROBLEM
WITH THAT:
We already know she
did
NEVERTHELESS:
Horne was a pioneer
in breaking the color
barrier and suffered
for it; the songs fit the
tale
PROSPECTS:
Good, in the right
setting
WHO:
An as-yet-
unannounced star will
play prodigious singer-
songwriter Carole King
ETA:
Spring 2014, after a
tryout in San Francisco
this fall
TOP SONGS:
(You Make Me
Feel Like) A Natural
Woman, Youve Got
a Friend, Breaking
Up Is Hard to Do, I
Feel the Earth Move,
and on and on
PLEASE INCLUDE:
King and her husband
Gerry Goffin writing
the hit song Loco-
Motion for Little
Evatheir babysitter
MAYBE NOT:
Kings crippling stage
fright
PROSPECTS:
All depends on
execution, but
excellent
WHO:
Zooey Deschanel as
Queen of Country
Loretta Lynn, in a
musical version of the
1980 biopic
ETA:
To be determined
TOP SONGS:
You Aint Woman
Enough (To Take My
Man), Im a Honky
Tonk Girl, Coal
Miners Daughter
DRAMA QUEEN:
Lynns rocky marriage
began at age 15but
he never hit me one
time that I didnt hit
him back twice
CLOSE TO HOME:
Because they are direct
reflections of her life,
her songs (like Dont
Come Home A Drinkin)
should work well
TWOFER:
Lynns idol and
confidante wasPatsy
Cline
PROSPECTS:
Listen to Deschanel
sing the title song on
YouTube, and you be
the judge
VACATION VEXATION Collette
and Carell (top) in
The Way, Way Back;
Rockwell and James
mporary dad
www. e l l e. c o m 93
ELLE INTELLIGENCE
g
MUSIC/BOOKS
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D
K
ristiana Kahakauwilas sparkling debut story
collection, This Is Paradise (Hogarth), vivifies the
scattered, underdog, dynamic communities of
native Hawaiians whose familial and cultural
ties to Oahu, Maui, Kauai, and the Big Island
go back generations. A hapa- haole
(mixed Hawaiian and white) who
grew up in California and Maui, Kaha-
kauwila captures in six related stories
the striving lives, colorful pidgin
dialect, and varied relationships that
anchor and challenge her strikingly
drawn characters.
In Wanle, which means it is
gone in Chinese, a young woman
by that name whose infamous cock-
fighting father was murdered works
the early shift at a diner to carve out
time to train her own birds. Her older
Indian lover takes construction jobs,
reads the poet Basho, and disapproves
of cockfighting. But Wanle is determined to avenge
her father by pitting her birds against those of
the man who had a part in his death. After argu-
ing with her lover, she recollects, I stayed outside
with my birds until the sun sank completely into
the ocean. The valley below turned purple in the
reflected light, and above me Haleakala became
nothing more than a black shadow against a black
sky. I wanted to please the Indian, wanted to be
the woman he thought I should be, but the roosters
were my dad. They were my way of doing right by
him, and they were me.
In the title story, groups of Hawai-
ian women take turns narrating
the tale of a young white tourist girl
(Theyre all white to us unless theyre
black) who goes missing after meet-
ing a man at a local lounge. Their
collective voices become a warning
chorus against the dangers of thinking
of Hawaii as a paradise, but also serve
to soothe their spooked community.
The other storiesamong them
The Old Paniolo Way, about a
grown son who comes out as gay as his
father lies dying; and
Portrait of a Good
Father, in which a girl holds tight
to her relationship with her dad
after her parents marriage ends
prove Kahakauwilas skill at show-
ing that the real Hawaii, for all its
beauty, is no fantasyland.
THE ELLES
LETTRES
READERS
PRIZE
2013
15 ELLE readers vote for
their favorite of three
new releases that we
lovethis month,
novels about crisis-
fraught comings-of-age
1. WE ARE ALL
COMPLETELY
BESIDE
OURSELVES
KAREN JOY
FOWLER (MARIAN
WOOD/PUTNAM)
Readers raved about all
of these books, but the
narrative immediacy of
Fowlers won the day.
Rosemary Cookes family
shattered after her
sister, Fern (a chimp),
was removed from their
home; Rosemarys
efforts years later to
come to terms with her
losses make for what is
by all accounts a deeply
affecting read.
2. SISTERLAND
CURTIS
SITTENFELD
(RANDOM HOUSE)
Identical twins who
choose opposite ways of
dealing with what seem
to be psychic gifts frame
a twisty plot (one that
some found to be
overstuffed with
incident); many readers
admired Sittenfelds
ability to imbue a
far-fetched scenario and
characters with realism.
3. THE LAST
SUMMER OF THE
CAMPERDOWNS
ELIZABETH KELLY
(LIVERIGHT)
Spending her twelfth
summer in a well-to-do
Cape Cod community in
1972 turns traumatic for
Riddle when she
witnesses some shadowy
wrongdoing and her
family begins to implode;
the vivid brio of this
suspenseful yarn won it
plenty of fans.
For this months readers comments, go to elle.com/readersprize
TROPICAL TRIBULATIONS
A writer with one foot in the native Hawaiian community and the
other in the mainland mainstream gives us an edgy, unmistakably
authentic glimpse of the harder side of island life. By Lisa Shea
Kahakauwila

t
e-mail eagerreader@hearst.com For details on becoming a Readers Prize juror,
SHE BANGS
When it comes to this summers pop anthems, the ladies have it
CIARA, CIARA Ciara is
the first to admit it: Shes
not a ballad singer. But
who cares when, on this
energetic self-titled LP,
shes playing to her
strengths? Her fifth
album finds CiCi returning
to Goodies form (and to
producer L. A. Reid, who
discovered her), with odes
to getting down in every
genre, from the fun,
80s-ish Overdose to
the sexy slow jam
Sophomore, and, our
favorite, the aggressive
head-thrower Im Out,
which brings a killer Nicki
Minaj hook. Still, when
Ciara writes, its neither a
beat nor a melody that
she thinks of first;
instead, she imagines
how her body will
respond to the song.
(Check out the lead
single, Body Party, for
the most evident
representation.) The
resulting collection of
songs promises to have
us dancing all night. Now,
if we could just master
Ciaras moves. (July 9)
HARMONY, SERENA
RYDER Her bombastic
single Stompa has
already proved that her
rootsy brand of pop is
Top 40worthy. Now the
Canadian singer-
songwriter brings an
entire album of foot-
pounding anthems and
sultry ballads sure to
continue commanding
the charts. (July 16)
DONT LOOK DOWN,
SKYLAR GREY
The Eminem protg has
had every Billboard artist
clamoring for her
Grammy-winning hooks,
and now Grey shows off
her own fiery voice.
Based on the ferocity of
revenge fantasy Final
Warning, its one to be
reckoned with. (July 9)
ALLISON P. DAVIS
94 www. e l l e. c o m
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TRUST
US
BOOKS
DIRTY LAUNDRY
In Callie Wrights
fetching debut novel,
Love All (Henry Holt),
teenage tennis whiz
Julia Obermeyer
uncovers secret
betrayals after her
grandmothers death in
1994. These events
connect generations of
her family to fallout
from the real-life
brouhaha that followed
the 1962 publication of a
notorious book, The Sex
Cure, that scandalized
quaint Cooperstown,
New York.
BAD-BOY LIT
In his witty introduction
to The Complete Short
Stories of James Purdy
(Liveright), filmmaker
John Waters writes that
this under-the-radar
Ohio-born authorwho
died in 2009 at age
94has been dead
center in the black little
hearts of provocateur-
hungry readers like
myself, who delight in
wickedly funny feel-bad
books.
TAKIN IT TO THE
STREETS
Mark Kurlanskys Ready
for a Brand New Beat
(Riverhead) is a superb
vox-pop history centered
on Martha and the
Vandellas chart-topping
1964 Motown hit
Dancing in the Street.
Cowritten by soul legend
Marvin Gaye, the upbeat
tune became an iconic
anthem, we learn, for
activists of every stripe
amid the political,
cultural, and racial
turbulence of the
1960s.L.S.
N
ovels are filled with people gorging them-
selves; eating gives characters something to
do while they fight or flirt and move the plot
along. But the food in Kate Christensens novels
has never been a mere prop. Theres banter over a
chicken stew laced with hints of saffron, cinnamon,
cayenne, lemon zest in The Great Man. In The Astral,
a character dreams about a spicy black bean soup
with sour cream and toasted cumin seeds.
In Blue Plate Special (Doubleday), food provides
the vital thread for an episodic retelling of Chris-
tensens life to date. In one of her earliest memories,
her father beats her mother during a breakfast of
soft-boiled eggs and toast. Through her itinerant
coming-of-age, each new locale brings fresh
romantic interestsand menus. Cooking for people
in upstate New York and rural France, she hones
her culi nary skills and cultivates her appetites for
alcohol and sex. During her bachelorette years and
as a budding writer in New York City, she survives
on bean burritos, chicken soup, saltines, and other
humble fare; as a married woman, she has fabulous
restaurant meals that bring on a food-inspired rush
of loveand disguise an insatiable unhappiness.
Christensens love affair with food is not without
its own heartbreakperiods of weight gain followed
by ascetic denial, and a debilitating allergybut she
also renders beautifully
the self-acceptance of
eating a delicious meal
by oneself, the solace
of favorite childhood
dishes, and the thrill of
new flavors savored in a
foreign land.
Christensen writes
of her most traumatic
memoriesher abusive
father, molestations by
a teacherin a blunt,
matter-of-fact style that
can feel oddly bland by comparison; I wished at
times that shed brought more of the richness of her
keen observations and intelligence to these darker
passages. But this is a down-home memoir, prone to
neither therapeutic unravelings nor fussy foodie pro-
nouncements. Christensen sum -
mons to mind a young, sexy Julia
Child who mixes things with her
hands and ends up with sauce on
her chin, and who inspires you to
create fearlessly and even reck-
lessly with whatever ingredients
you have on hand.
A WOMAN OF APPETITE
Novels such as In the Drink and The Epicures Lament have been
fueled by passions and urges that Kate Christensen fearlessly lays
out in her new memoir. By Bliss Broyard
Christensen
a
t
J
ournalist Katie Hafners early life seems scripted
for a therapists couch: alcoholic mother, work-
aholic father, multiple divorcesher parents,
then her fathers from his next wife (the teenage
Hafner had been living with them), and finally her
own from a starter marriage. And then the affairs
and sudden, untimely deathsthat peppered her
first few decades.
Yet the meat of Hafners memoir, Mother Daughter
Me (Random House), her sixth book, starts after all
that, when the ever- optimistic author,
living in San Francisco at age 51 with
her teenage daughter, Zo, invites her
mothernow 77, healthy, and newly
without her longtime male companion
to move in. This was finally my chance
to have a real family homewith my
mother in it, Hafner writes.
Hafner realizes too late what shes got-
ten herself into. Grandma Helen, while
once brilliant, is also skittish, hyper-
cerebral, and a stunning narcissist whos incapa-
ble of keeping her opinions to herself. She quickly
clashes with Zo, who, 16 and a lifelong mamas girl,
is equally difficult. Caught between them, Hafner
becomes full-time ref while still dating, running the
household, and supporting Zo and herself.
Weaving past with present, anecdote with analy-
sis, Hafners riveting account of multigenerational
living and mother-daughter frictions, of love and
forgiveness, is devoid of self-pity and unafraid of
self-blame. Isaw that by always try-
ing to follow the path of least resistance
I made things worse for every body,
she writes. And yet it
takestremendous
strength to break the
patterns of a lifetime.
Her continued effort
is what makes her
such a brightand
appealingheroine.
Hafner
BESANDWICHED
When a family experiment goes bad. By Cathi Hanauer
www. e l l e. c o m 95
ELLE INTELLIGENCE CULTURE WATCH
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I
ve been thinking a lot about time lately. I reached a significant
birthday last year and then, a few months later, gave birth to
my third (and final) child. Youd think that a baby would fo-
cus you on beginningsand it does.
My daughter Sylvie is an addictive pres-
ence, a golden girl. She wriggles with
joy, like a puppy, when you turn your
attention to her. Its like our family has
acquired its own personal sun, radiat-
ing warmth and light.
But when that sun goes down, I find
myself lying awake in bed, wondering
how the day could be over when I was
just getting started. Theres so much to
doso much I want to doand time
evaporates the moment I touch it. Im
constantly running the numbers, shift-
ing my schedule around like a Rubiks
Cube, trying to get all the dates and
time slots to align. Its like Im at the
best party of my life, but I cant enjoy it,
because I know it will end.
You may think of time as more an
immutable force of nature than a psy-
chological phenomenonafter all, the
sun rises and sets no matter how you
feel about it. But in her new book, Time
Warped: Unlocking the Mysteries of Time
Perception, British journalist Claudia
Hammond makes the case that it is the
experience of time that really matters.
How quickly or slowly our days seem
to pass is mediated by our emotions,
physiology, age, sensations, and memo-
riesand thus, promisingly for some-
one suffering from time melancholia
like I am, somewhat under
our control.
According to Ham-
mond, time-perception
researchers (a surprisingly
eccentric lotthey con-
stantly seem to be throw-
ing people off buildings
or crawling into ice caves
for months to see how ex-
treme circumstances alter
mind time) have not lo-
cated any single internal-
timing device in the brain. The leading theory is
that the dopamine system and several parts of the
brain work in concert to mark packets or waves of
experience. Humans seem to process the world in
three-second increments (the duration of a hand-
shake, the length of the annoying sound computers make when
they start up, and the periodic rhythm of speech), and we develop
a sense for how those increments sync with clock time. Time can
warp when our brain receives much
more or less input than usual in a three-
second span. (For example, time slows
down when you are about to crash your
car, but you can easily lose a whole day
watching things on YouTube.)
Bad internal timing seems to be
a symptomor perhaps a causeof
many psychiatric illnesses and dis-
abilities. Hammond reports that schizo-
phrenics often say that time speeds up,
repeats, or distorts. Studies show that
clinically depressed people make mis-
takes of time estimation, thinking that a
minute should be over long before it is.
Children with attention deficit/hyper-
activity disorder (ADHD) make similar
errors, and Ritalin has been shown to
improve their inner clocks. Researchers
are also developing a form of cognitive
behavioral therapy in which kids with
ADHD are simply taught to judge time
more accurately.
Most people think that time speeds
up for us as we get older because of sim-
ple mathematics: When you are four, a
year represents 25 percent of your life;
when you are 40, its only 2.5 percent.
But in a survey of 1,500 Dutch people,
most adults, no matter their age, said
that their weeks, months, and years
went by fast or very fastthere
was no pattern of time moving more
quickly as adults grew older. However,
peoples perception of decades did get
faster as they aged. So each day is about
the same to them, but when they look
back, it seems like the days add up to
10 years much more quickly. Psycholo-
gists attribute this to a trick of memory
called the reminiscence bump, Ham-
mond writes. When we are young, we
have a flurry of fresh experiences
we go to new schools,
meet many different
people, and have tons
of firsts (first sex, first sushi, first airplane
trip)and these novelties consume a lot of
brain energy, thus imprinting them in our mem-
ories. But unless something really excellent or
terrible happens, the hundred-and-fiftieth time
ITS LATER THAN YOU THINK
In a new book, a British science writer explores all things time: why it seems faster
when were older, why traumatic events seem to last forever, and what you can do
to spend yours well. By Rachael Combe
Hammond
t at a baby ou d o

e
a se se o o t ose c
If time feels scarce,
choose to give it to
two sets of people
those who gain the
most from spending
time with you and
those whom you most
want to see. Refuse
some invitations.
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WRITE
AN ESSAY
ON YOUR
PERSONAL
STYLE FOR
ELLE!
Readers,
enter our
The _
That Changed
My Life
contest for the
chance to have
your work
published
in ELLEs
October issue.
See details on
page 38.
96 w w w. e l l e. c o m
(conti nued on page 182)
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THE SECRET TO SEX APPEAL & MOREEDITED BY EMILY DOUGHERTY
Do skin, hair, and makeup pros really use eco beauty products? Yes!
Here, 15 experts share their natural selections in ELLEs seventh annual
ranking of the best of green beauty. By Julie Schott
GREEN STARS
THE 2013
w w w. e l l e. c o m 99 w w w. e l l e. c o m 99
GREEN STARS ELLE BEAUTY
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FACE TIME
YOUR FOUR-MINUTE MORNING REGIMEN
CLOCK-STOPPERS
TURN BACK TIME WITH THESE NATURAL WONDERS
R
Packed with organic
ingredients, Ilia
Complete Mascara
separates and defines
every lash for BIGGER,
BRIGHTER EYES.
A matte finish can look
masklike, but talc-free
Nvey Eco Mattifying
Compact Powder (shown
in Medium) prevents
oil slicks without hiding
skins NATURAL RADIANCE.
When theres no time for
extra skin prep, Dr. Hauschka
Translucent Make-up, infused
with hydrating macadamia
seed and avocado oils,
creates a SMOOTH, EVEN COMPLEXION.
For a ROSY GLOW in a pinch,
our makeup artists
multitask with Josie
Maran Magic Marker
Lip and Cheek Stain
(shown in Fox Trot).
Our pros create WIDE-AWAKE
EYES with Josie Maran
Argan Day + Night
Eye Cream. The A.M.
blend works to reduce
puffiness and dark
circles, while the night
formula targets fine
lines and wrinkles.
ELLE beauty editors and
the eco experts agree:
Nothing beats Tata Harper
Resurfacing Mask for a FRESH,
CLEAR COMPLEXION. Slather it on for
20 minutes once a week.
The argan oil, antioxidants,
and peptides in Aveda
Green Science Lifting Serum
promote cell turnover and
build collagen for noticeably
YOUNGER-LOOKING SKIN.
Sulfate-free Neutrogena
Naturals Face & Body Bar
gently lifts away dirt and
buildup without stripping,
making it our experts pick for
SOFT SKIN from head to toe.
100 w w w. e l l e. c o m
GREEN STARS ELLE BEAUTY
BEACH PATROL
GO ON, SHOW SOME SKIN
SOS
(
SAVE OUR SKIN!
)
A GREEN FIX FOR EVERY EMERGENCY
A paraben-free blend
of zinc oxide, green
tea, and coconut oil,
True Natural Sunscreen
Broad Spectrum
SPF 30 sinks in instantly
for LASTING PROTECTION.
Infused with macadamia
nut and sunflower seed oil,
Lavera Self-Tanning Lotion
goes on sheer and virtually
scentless to reveal a soft,
SUMMER-READY GLOW overnight.
W3LL People Luminous
Mineral Bronzer (shown
in Hedonist 53) creates
a HEALTHY, SUN-KISSED COMPLEXION
while nourishing skin
with aloe, green tea, and
chamomile.
Slough away dryness
and reveal NATURALLY SMOOTH
SKIN with LOccitane
Verbena Body Salt
Scrub, a zesty cocktail
of citrus extracts and
Mediterranean sea salt.
Our pros RESTORE DAMAGED
HAIR with John Masters
Organics Shine On
Leave-In Treatment.
Nutrient-rich organic
sea kelp and marine
phytoplankton provide
intense moisture.
For sensitive skin, our derms
recommend Kiehls Skin
Rescuer Stress-Minimizing
Daily Hydrator. Its chamomile
and Rosa gallica fight
injuries and environmental
stress for a FAST RECOVERY.
The softer answer to
salicylic acid, Burts
Bees Herbal Blemish
Stick targets spots and
inflammation to deliver
CLEAR SKIN with a gentle yet
fast-acting blend of tea
tree oil, willow bark, and
calendula.
While some concealers
aggravate spots, Dr.
Hauschka Pure Care Cover
Stick works to CAMOUFLAGE REDNESS
while treating blemishes
without overdrying.
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NOW AVAILABLE
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GREEN STARS ELLE BEAUTY
KRISTEN ARNETT
Makeup artist
NYC
BETHANY BRILL
Hairstylist
NYC
DORIS DAY, MD
Dermatologist
NYU Medical Center, NYC
KATEY DENNO
Makeup artist
NYC
MOLLY FORBES
Hair colorist
Edina, MN
MONA GOHARA, MD
Dermatologist
Yale Department of
Dermatology, New Haven, CT
SHERRY HSIUNG, MD
Dermatologist, The Skin
Institute of New York, NYC
JENNIFER MACGREGOR,
MD
Dermatologist, Union Square
Laser Dermatology, NYC
DHIRAN MISTRY
Hairstylist
John Barrett Salon, NYC
KARIM ORANGE
Makeup artist
NYC
JAMES PECIS
Hairstylist
NYC
LAINI REEVES
Hairstylist
Starworks Artists, L.A.
CHARLOTTE TILBURY
Makeup artist
London
ANNA WEBBER
Makeup artist
NYC
PATRICIA WEXLER, MD
Dermatologist
Wexler Dermatology, NYC
WHAT MAKES AN ELLE GREEN STAR?
We asked 15 leaders in skin, hair, and makeup which green products truly workon the red carpet, at photo shoots,
and on real clients. To qualify, each pick must be powered by botanical active ingredients and be free from potentially
harmful chemicals (including, but not limited to, sulfates, parabens, and phthalates). Bonus points go to companies
committed to sustainability, fair-trade practices, and ethical treatment of animals.
NIGHT WATCH
THE ECO-APPROVED AFTER-HOURS KIT
N STAR?
hair, and makeup which green products truly workon the red carpet, at photo shoots,
y each pick must be powered by botanical active ingredients and be free frompotentially
Finally, a nourishing natural
lip color that creates a
MEGABRIGHT MOUTH: Ilia Lipstick
(shown in Wild Child, Neon
Angel, Dizzy, and Femme
Fatale).
Ultrapigmented Alima
Luminous Shimmer
Eyeliner (shown in Maya,
Black Cherry, Noir,
and Carnevale) and
Satin Matte Eyeliner in
Nightingale double as
shadow for a SMOKY EYE with
all-evening staying power.
Our pros resuscitate
flat hair with aloe-juice-
and bergamot-infused
Intelligent Nutrients
Volumizing Spray.
Spritz from roots to
midlengths for MAJOR LIFT.
Our experts look to the
smooth, rich pigment
in W3LL People Eye
Crayon (shown in Black
Opal) when creating BOLD,
DEFINED LIDS.
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Packed with anti-
inflammatory
frankincense and calming
lotus flower, Vapour
Organic Beauty Aura
Multi-Use Blush (shown in
Courtesan and Impulse)
is our makeup artists
pick for FLUSHED CHEEKS.
www. e l l e. c o m 107
GREEN STARS ELLE BEAUTY
The offerings at this
adventure retreat range
from Texas two-step
lessons and Equine
Encounter horse whispering
to bioenergetic facials
with fair-trade-certified
algae extract. (Theres
alsoyeehaw!a
Willie Nelsoninspired
hemp oil massage.)
TOP TREATMENT: The Hill
Country Honeybee
massage and body
treatment softens with
an organic scrub.
An iconic Hudson Valley
favorite since 1869, Mohonk
has been recognized by the
UN for its family-friendly
green initiatives. While
parents relax posthike in
the geothermal spa, the
junior naturalist program
trains the next generation
of eco advocates.
TOP TREATMENT: The
Shawangunk Grit scrub
smooths skin with grains
of quartz quarried
from adjacent cliffs.
TRAVAASA AUSTIN
Austin, Texas
travaasa.com/austin
MOHONK MOUNTAIN
HOUSE
New Paltz, New York
mohonk.com
The Ranch changed my
life, proclaimed one ELLE
editor who survived the
weeklong, celeb-loved detox
program that combines
intense daily exercise
(gorgeous 10-mile treks
and core-centric training)
with much-needed TLC
(massages, luxe eco-
savvy rooms, innovative
vegetarian meals).
TOP TREATMENT: The midweek
chiropractic session
eases wear and tear.
Play pioneer in one of the
13 private log cabins in
this restored 1800s ghost
town. Indulge in locally
sourced food and perform
sun salutations at dawn
for a uniquely restorative
Rocky Mountain high.
TOP TREATMENT: Follow a
soothing Hot River Rock
massage with a hot-
spring soak beneath the
stars (or, if you book the
spring-straddling Well
House, simply step into a
tub in your living room).
THE RANCH AT LIVE OAK
MALIBU
Malibu, California
theranchmalibu.com
DUNTON HOT SPRINGS
Dolores, Colorado
duntonhotsprings.com
NATURAL
WONDERS
From a mountaintop mineral spring to a secluded Southern
ranch, ELLE presents the United States best eco-friendly spas for
self-indulgence you can feel good about
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BATHING BEAUTY Post-yoga, the
Live Oak Ranchers soak
away aches in the
saltwater swimming pool.
108 www. e l l e. c o m
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Introducing 100% natural lip gloss with a rich, pearlescent shine that nourishes naturally.
ADVENTURE ELLE BEAUTY
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ot long ago, a friend Id been secretly
crushing on crashed on my couch
during a rough patch with his girl-
friend. After he left I found a T-shirt
hiding, forgotten behind my sofa, and in-
stinctively did the animal thingI held it
to my face, inhaling deeply. Mmm, it was
him. I slipped the shirt over my pillow and
drifted dreamily off to sleep, night after
night, with my head on his shoulder, en-
veloped in the scent of the object of my de-
sire. I went to bed happy, woke up happy.
A week later my pal Bob flew in from L.A.
Seeing my pillow man, he looked both
stricken and puzzled. Holly, what are you
doing with my T-shirt? Your T-shirt? Hed
left it behind on a previous visit. Bob is
gaynot Anderson Cooper gay, not Tom
Ford gay. Harvey Fierstein gay.
This is not an isolated incident. If I had
a dollar for every time Ive tried to board
the wrong bus, Id have $12. Which raises
the question: How did I end up having a
nose for men whose sexuality ranges from
undetermined to Can I borrow your os-
trich Louboutins?
Simply put, Im not drawn to Neander-
thals. Im magnetized by men more sen-
sual than sexual; more emotional than
muscular; into reading, as opposed to
breeding; with good dental hygiene; and,
most importantly, who are ardorous, not
odorous (and know that ardorous isnt a
word). I want a man who loves women,
not just figuratively, but for all the rea-
sons I love the women closest to me. If I
could just put a womans brain in a mans
body. You know what your problem
is? says my friend Jodie. Youre gay from
the neck up.
This has led to heartache and confusion
and chronic empty-bed syndrome over
the years. So, eager to resolve my border-
line AC/DC, I call up eminent Manhattan
sex therapist Stephen Snyder, MD, whose
gift for carnal gab earned him a spot on
New York magazines 2012 Best Doctors list
and a gig with Dolce & Gabbana explicat-
MIRED IN DESIRE
Can a scent attract Mr. Right? Beauty Adventuress Holly Millea
follows her nose through a sexual labyrinth of psychoanalysis and
animal instinct to discover shes had it all wrong, all along
ing the desire in Desire, D & Gs new fra-
grance, which, in a single squirt, evokes
a mysterious world of light and shadows,
temptation and seduction. An intimate,
personal sphere in which each woman
decides on whom to lay her gaze, a place
where the line between instinct and desire
is faded and blurred.
In other words, a perfume so compli-
cated it needs a sex therapist to explain it
to the media. Surely he can sort me out.
I take the scenic route to Snyders Up-
per West Side office, through Central
Park, where, amid the smells of hot dogs,
candied peanuts, sweating joggers, and
burning ganja, I catch whiffs of mandarin,
lychee, and bergamotand, sniff, sniff,
the sweet innocence of lily of the valley
what D & G terms oriental floral notes.
Desirous ingredients, all.
Deeper into the park I pick up notes of
jasmine and sweet plum nectar, and then
a guy named Ray who is very heavy and
is screaming, Put me down! Hearing a
scuffle, a burly, mustachioed cop races up
in a golf cart, smelling of steel, gunpow-
der, and garlic, with a top note of poly-
ester, demanding to know, Whats the
trouble here? I respond, Im insanely at-
tracted to gay men. He issues me a warn-
ing: Stay away from my husband.
In Snyders waiting room, the scent of
tuberose hangs in the air. As I breathe it
in, then exhale, a calmness comes over
110 www. e l l e. c o m
me. Im getting sleepy, very sleepy, su-
persleeeeepy. Snyder snaps his fingers,
rousing me from my reverie. Thats when
I knew! hes saying. The Dolce & Gab-
bana perfumer said tuberose, and I went,
Bing, bing, bing! Thats sex!
Snyder has the jovial disposition of a
man grown prosperous from decades of
discussing the birds and the bees. Tube-
rose is described by scent people as hyp-
notic, he says. Sex affects the same part
of the brain thats involved in hypnosis.
When people get sexually excited, their
time sense changes in the same way that
it does for somebody whos hypnotized.
Seventeen-year-olds out on a date, neck-
ing, are in a state of sexual excitement,
arousal, they lose track of time, come
home at three in the morning. They were
in a state of hypnosisnatures hypnosis.
So I [told Dolce & Gabbana], Okay, were
on! Talking about the perfume made
sense to me.
I tell Snyder Id like to talk about my de-
sire and how it always leads to men who
are either gay or somewhere in that sexual
vicinity. And how Id rather spend time
with my fun, loving, and affectionate, al-
ways good-smelling girl friends, and how
thats left me alone at night, up to my own
devices, batteries not included.
Have you ever had a deep enough ex-
perience with someone that you know
where he is on the Kinsey scale? Snyder
asks. For instance, Im very straightIve
never had the least hankering for a man in
my life. On the Kinsey scale, Im a zero.
Now, a man whos a Kinsey sixthe op-
posite end of the scalewould never date
you. It wouldnt make any sense.
The famous sex researcher Alfred Kin-
sey, whose controversial studies in the
1950s shocked and rocked an Ozzie and
Harriet world, believed most mens sex-
ual preferences lay somewhere on a scale
from zero to six. Kinsey ones are basi-
cally straight, Snyder explains. But ev-
ery once in a while, a guy gets under their
skin, and maybe once in college they got
drunk and ended up jerking each other
off. Thats perfectly compatible with nor-
mal, happy heterosexual experience. But
most guys dont tell their partners about it
because women worry about this terribly.
Then youve got your Kinsey twos.
They have a perfectly strong hetero desire
but also lust after men. The lust for women
is actually stronger, but a Kinsey two cant
stand the fact that he has lust for guys, and
he has this catastrophic feeling about it,
all, Its my awful secret that I also desire
men. It makes him hate himself, often in
self-destructive ways.
Feeling a growing sense of familiar-
ity (and alarm), I ask Snyder to elaborate.
Lets say youre a Kinsey two, in bed with
your girlfriend, and all of a sudden the
thought pops into your head: She doesnt
know Im really gay. The penis, the most
honest part of the body, registers it, and, its
vocabulary being very limited, expresses
it in the only language it knows how: It
goes down. Tell me about it.
The woman goes, What happened?
He says hes tired, feeling down on him-
self lately. She says, Youre not gay, are
you? Is my house bugged? The guy loses
his erection because hes worried that hes
gay. It doesnt mean hes gay. Maybe hes
a Kinsey twohas great heterosexual de-
sire and also can get turned on by a man.
Nothin wrong with that! But the whole re-
lationship can go down the tubes.
While I panic, considering all the K2s
in my closet, Snyder leans back in his chair
and looks off into the middle distance,
rubbing his chin. I wonder how many
men out there have found the secret of just
telling their wives: Im a K2. Im fully het-
ero but I can be turned on by guys. Which
is no different from a guy whos married
who says, Guess what? Im a Snyder two!
Im turned on by you, but I also lust af-
ter my secretary. Its normal! It doesnt
mean I want to sleep with my secretary.
Hey, where is Snyders secretary? Then, a
wicked thought: Maybe shes at home, in bed
with his wife.
Its rare to find Kinsey threes, who, as
Snyder puts it, can run both Mac and
PC. The world is their oyster, and yet,
theyre very unhappy, he says. They
tend to have ongoing identity crises.
Gender-object choice is so fundamental in
our current world and is such a big pillar
of identity, and these guys dont know who
they are. Its really painful. And theyre
fine! They just happen to be K3s.
The Kinsey four could do it with a
woman and think it was nice, Snyder con-
tinues. But it lacks a little something, and
what he really wants is a guy.
My friend Trish was married, it turns
out, to a Kinsey four: She discovered that
the man of her dreams was chasing the
man of his. He lowered the boom gently,
giving her the cat and this sop: Youre the
only woman Ive ever wanted. You always
will be. Gee, thanks.
The K5s really want a guy, says Sny-
der, but every once in a while they find
a woman they can function withtheyre
basically gay. Kinsey sixes? Way gay.
Surprisingly, or maybe not so surpris-
ingly, women are far more fluid in their
Kinsey ratings. Its totally different; they
can go back and forth, Snyder says. Fe-
male erotic plasticity, or changeability, is
known throughout the animal kingdom.
Women are far more adaptable, not just
in choice of gender object but within a cer-
tain gender. If a woman goes out with a
guy shes not attracted to, but hes inter-
esting and confident and pays attention,
within a couple of weeks, shes turned on
by himthats erotic plasticity, Snyder
says. A woman can shift her erotic pref-
erences to suit the person in front of her.
Men are the complete opposite. If a man
isnt attracted to a woman on the first date,
hes never going to be attracted to her.
Never. So stop calling him already!
Snyder asks if I currently find any
men attractive. There is one, but hes
marriedto my editor Liesl. Which is
great, because when I have dinner with
The set of the DOLCE & GABBANA spring/summer 2013
campaign, in Taormina, Italy
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Desire, Take 2: DOLCE & GABBANAs new fragrance
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w w w. e l l e. c o m 111
ELLE BEAUTY ADVENTURE
him, she cooks for us! Its natural for a
woman to be attracted to a married man.
You know why? Snyder says. Its called
a popularity cue. Women like the fact
that another woman has gone to all the
trouble, done all the research, to decide
that this guy is worthwhile and a good
prospect. Now, if I could just get Liesl to
write my stories.
I tell him it would be easier to be a les-
bian, but I know Im not that fluid, because
I gave it the old college try once, and the
next morning I disentangled myself and,
searching for my bra, had a succession of
thoughts: I love her. Am I gay enough?
And thenand Im ashamed to admit
this: If we were in the world together, who
would protect us?
Thats absolutely normal, Snyder
says. Because 100,000 years ago, youre
a woman living in a forest; you better be
with a guy whos pretty bad, who can pro-
tect you against all the other guys. Some
women have this bad-boy thingit gives
them a secret thrill. Its attractive to be
with a guy whos got courage and is a little
impulsive and unpredictable and maybe a
little violent. The Fifty Shades of Grey, whole
submissive-masochistic thing, that turns
some women onsome people might be
wired to have that potential. So that kind
of woman should realize her feelings arent
bad, or maladaptive, or twisted. They just
mean that shes got some feelings, and they
dominate her thinking.
My desire has evolved, grown more so-
phisticated. When I moved to Manhattan
I fell hard for a tall, dark, aqua-eyed rogue
of a boy. For years we were best friends
with very good benefits; it broke my heart
every morning after. Until one morn-
ing I woke up and walked away. Nearly
two decades later, I ran into him and we
re-friended, sans the sex. Its not that he
wouldnt. Its that I couldnt. What made
me crazy for him back then, his scent, still
drives me nutsbut in the opposite direc-
tion. I know what Snyder would say. Were
all just a bunch of animals. When I was
in my prime reproductive years, his smell
was a turn-on. Now its a nonstarter. Once
again, Im failing chemistry.
Oh, cut the defeatist crap, Snyder or-
ders me. Celebrate everything thats
great and right and put it in the window
and see who comes to shop there! Qui-
etly radiate! See whos interested. Just
know that you cant rely on one person
for everything. You have to be ready for
restlessness and boredom. If you hold out
for a guy whos really fascinating, thats
going to be tough, because theyre fas-
cinating for a reasontheyre fucked
up. You want a guy whos simple. Who
loves, loves, loves you. Thats healthy
narcissismreally wanting those good
things that babies demand, which is a
person being so happy to see you that he
just lights up when you walk in the room.
When you dont get enough of that, you
get the unhealthy narcissism: being con-
temptuous of other people, jealous.
Healthy narcissism is [being] happy to be
where you are.
Strolling home through the park I try to
quietly radiate and chew gum at the same
time. Tricky. I go through the possible K1s
and K2s Ive dated, men I pushed away
because of the very androgyny that drew
me to them. Were any of them The One?
Im still able to conjure their individual
scents, each one firing up my brain, be-
cause, unlike any of the other senses,
smellthe olfactory bulblies in the lim-
bic system, nestled next to memory and
feeling in the gray matter.
I remember too the scents I wore along
the way. Faberg Tigress in junior high,
Coty Jovan Musk in high school, Oscar
de la Renta Oscar in college, then Geof-
frey Beene Grey Flannel, Chanel No. 5,
and eventually and ever after, anything
incensey: Esteban Cdre, CB Burning
Leaves, Tom Ford Santal Blushsmells
youd find in a Catholic church.
Can desire be bottled? Is it possible to
bait yourself to attract someone? Another
question: Does chemistry between
people even exist? I pull out my Black-
Berry and call another sex therapist, Dr.
Ruth, as in Westheimer. More research
is needed to prove that theres such a thing
as chemical attraction, she says. Per-
fume can certainly enhance the arousal,
but the aphrodisiac is in the brain, not be-
tween the waist and the knees.
Funnily enough, the worlds first known
chemistTapputiwas not only a woman
but a perfumer whose extraction and dis-
tillation processes were re corded back in
1200 B.C. on a cuneiform tablet from Mes-
opotamia. People have been rubbing
fragrances on themselves forever, says
Mandy Aftel, therapist turned perfumer,
and the author of Essence & Alchemy: A
Natural History of Perfume. In Elizabethan
times they had love apples: a woman
would peel an apple, put it under her arm,
sweat into it, and give it to her lover. Talk
about someone liking your smell! I once
had a guy ask me if he could lick my arm-
pit. Seriously.
There is totally a connection between
scent and sexual desire, Aftel contin-
ues. Everything doesnt have to be sci-
entific or linear. Theres empirical data.
Napolon wrote to Josephine, Coming
home in three days, dont wash. The an-
ecdotal evidence is very real. She asks
which scents I like, and I tell her, Eau de
Catholicism.
Oh! One of the last things I made
Ancient Resinssmells that way. I made
it for Leonard Cohen. The eternally cool,
legendary singer-songwriter whose Hal-
lelujah has been covered by John Cale,
Jeff Buckley, and Rufus Wainwright. He
wears it every day, Aftel says. Its a body
oil and hair elixirhair fixes a scent. And
its very nourishing.
The next day a FedEx package arrives
from Aftelier Perfumes; a bottle of Ancient
Resins is inside. I rub the oil on my arms,
smelling frankincense, poplar buds, and
balsam. Hallelujah! I ring Aftel to thank
her. If a woman likes a certain scent, it says
a lot about her, she says. I know youre a
deep person, youre sensualtheres a lot
going on in there. Unfortunately, theres
not a lot going on down there.
You have to put yourself in the way of
fate, she says. Its incumbent upon you
to do all that you can to make good things
come into your life. Your heart has to be
open. You have to believe in love. You
have to take risks with your head screwed
on. You cant be hiding under your bed
and run into somebody. And you cant be a
sourpuss! How about bipolar, 10 pounds
overweight, and riddled with guilt? I got
married in my sixties! Aftel says. And
then I lost 80 pounds!
Heres what I figure. If I love a special
smell and someone else loves that special
smell, I can put it on and hell be especially
drawn to me. (So what if hes especially
drawn to men, too?) It would only make
sense. Sooner or later, well find each
other. In the meantime, Ill be dreaming
with my head on the shoulder ofmmm
Leonard Cohen.
There is totally a connection between scent and sexual desire,
says Aftel. Everything doesnt have to be scientific. Napolon
wrote to Josephine, Coming home in three days, dont wash.
112 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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W
hen your first book is titled All Natu-
ral: A Skeptics Quest to Discover If the
Natural Approach to Diet, Childbirth,
Healing, and the Environment Really
Keeps Us Healthier and Happier, youre
clearly not afraid to cast a wide net. San
Franciscobased journalist Nathanael
John son, 34, had a hippie childhood in
Califor nias Sierra foothills, but his skep-
tical streak kept him from unconditionally
embracing his familys organic, crunchy-
granola, back-to-the-land ideology. After
a stint at an Idaho newspaper, Johnson
went to journalism school at UC Berke-
ley, where he found a mentor in Michael
Pollan (The O mnivores Dilemma, In Defense
of Food ), who inspired him to re examine
his heritage of natural enthusiasms with
newly sharpened critical faculties. All
Natural, recently published by Rodale, is
a bracingly smart and witty inquiry into
how, in the face of conflicting assumptions
and evi dence, we can ever decide the best
way to go about doing things like having a
baby or cooking dinner.Joseph Hooper

ELLE: This battle of worldviews between
the natural and the technological has
been playing out in your head since you
were a kid. How does the idea of hewing
to the natural help us figure out how to
live our everyday lives?
NATHANAEL JOHNSON: The tendency
is either to totally dismiss the idea
that whats natural is good for us or to
embrace it uncritically. The trick is to
pick apart in a rigorous way what makes
sense from what doesnt. I love finding
that scientist who has an interesting or
contrarian view.
ELLE: Okay, lets get down to specifics.
How should we eat?
NJ: Keep it simple. You probably cant
go wrong eating less sugar, fat, and salt,
and the way to do that is to eat more fresh
food. But after doing the research, one
of the big conclusions Ive come to is,
there isnt one correct weight-loss diet that
works for everyone. In studies done by
Christopher Gardner at Stanford, some
women lost weight on low-carb diets and
some gainedand the same with the
low-fat diet. So you should be willing to
tinker and experiment and embrace the
uniqueness of your own body.
ELLE: You were often the fall guy for
utopian big ideas. You write about going
through a raw-food phase in high school:
FACTS OF NATURE
Were bombarded endlessly with conflicting messages telling us
to go organic, or take this supplement, or stick to that rigorous
diet. ELLE talks with an author who offers a fresh voice of reason
Id become an invalid, stricken by my
expectation of perfect health.
NJ: And Ive seen that happen to lots of
people who are entranced by this idea
of the naturalthat if they just eat the
right things, theyll be living an amazing
life. And then they end up becoming so
focused and worried about every little
thing they put in their mouth that their
lives become objectively worse.
ELLE: One of the heroes in your book is a
UC Davis researcher who basically says
that natures perfect health food is milk
mothers milk for babies, anyway.
NJ: I drink whole milk, and I drink it
without fear, even though it has a lot of
saturated fat, which is considered pure
evil by the nutritional orthodoxy. But
when you look specifically at the research
on dairy consumption and heart disease,
theres no association.
ELLE: So how should we make our own
food choices?
NJ: Pay attention to how you feel after you
eat instead of outsourcing to some dietary
guru. Does that oily slice of pizza imbue
you with a sense of energy and lan, or
does it make you feel bloated or terrible?
Theres some basic feedback weve relied
on as a species for the past 100,000 years
thats worked pretty well for us.
ELLE: How about all the research thats
coming out now about the importance
of our gut bacteria in maintaining our
health and possibly even our weight?
NJ: The scientists are telling us that the
bacteria are in charge! But what do we
do with that information? You can go
out and spend your money on probiotic
capsules filled with good bacteriabut
we have no idea whether the bacteria
survive to make it into our gut. Id rather
eat yogurt with live culturesit tastes
good, and people have been eating it
forever. The whole emerging story about
the gut is another argument in favor of
eating a wide range of fruits, vegetables,
and grains, a diverse range of fibers to
feed the diverse microflora in our bodies.
ELLE: I take it that youre not a huge
supplement fan. You write that, growing
up, some of your friends parents who
were chasing after the perfect health
regimen looked haunted and delicate.
NJ: What I was really seeing in those
people were symptoms of some kind of
mental illness, and one manifestation was
taking every herbal remedy on the face of
the earth. Too often, I think, supplements
are a device for extracting money
from the credulous. The money would
be better spent on taking a two-week
vacation or eating better food. My wife
and I get a box of fruits and vegetables
delivered to us every week, and that
114 www. e l l e. c o m
forces us to eat them all or theyll rot in
the bottom of the box.
ELLE: Many of us are guilty of paying too
little, not too much, attention to what we
eat. You write about a food industry that
has gotten very good at exploiting that.
NJ: The fascinating and shocking thing
for me is that when you look at the
neuroscience, pleasure and craving are
actually two different things. When
youre lifting one handful after another
of potato chips to your mouth, youre
really eating in the absence of pleasure
pretty quickly. The brain is flooded with
the neurotransmitter dopamine, which
is related to similar activitiesbeing
unable to stop pulling the lever on a slot
machineand sex and drug addictions.
If we could actually slow down enough
to notice when things stop bringing us
pleasure, wed eat way more healthily.
ELLE: As you describe it in the book,
your marriage is a kind of lab where you
test whats practical and whats not in the
natural department.
NJ: While my parents were hippies,
my wifes parents are Fort Lauderdale
Republicans. My father practices primal
therapy, and her father is an orthopedic
surgeon. When my in-laws finally came
out to meet my parents, it was like, All
right, were going to meet the Fokkers.
ELLE: One big issue was how your wife
was going to give birth to your daughter.
NJ: I think the whole book was motivated
in large part by me thinking about
having a family. It really forced me to put
my money where my mouth is: Okay,
I have all these strange ideas that I
inherited from my parents. Now Ive got
to choose whether Im going to put them
into practice or not.
ELLE: When you did your research,
as you always do, childbirth was one
area where the natural ideology really
made a lot of sense. Because the medical
establishment keeps introducing more
helpful technology, like fetal heart
monitors, but the end result is an
immobilized woman, which gives rise,
so you argue, to more cesareanswhich,
because of the risks of intervention, result
in more maternal death and injury.
NJ: It sounds fringy that birth is getting
more dangerous, but I think at this point
its well accepted.
ELLE: But your wife wound up giving
birth in a hospital.
NJ: We found a program in a hospital in
our neighborhood that was pretty much
the ideal. You have trained midwives
who are very evidence-based helping
healthy women give birth naturally, and
the obstetricians are only called in if
things start to head south.
ELLE: The natural line doesnt always
pan out so well. You write that natural-
philes and alternative-medicine mavens
intuitively grasp the big picture but can
be sloppy on the details.
NJ: But I always want to balance it out.
On the other side, you get hippie-
punching people wholl say, These
stupid natural people got this little fact
wrong about genetically modified foods,
without noticing that there is a larger
argument about the safety of GMO foods.
Its such an unknown. When you alter the
DNA of a plant, who knows if you may
be creating a toxin or an allergen that
could cause problems down the road.
ELLE: You write very eloquently about
the need to make sensible choices when
we dont have all the answers.
NJ: Thats the point Im grappling
toward. The more you cling to certainty,
the more you end up shutting out life.
The less willing you are to let your kid
play outside and possibly fall down and
hurt himself, the more possibilities youre
cutting off. When I started the book, I
knew that the idea that natural meant
healthy made some sense and was too
easily dismissed by the mainstream. The
trick is to come up with answers that find
a pragmatic balance.
T
hirty-three years ago, Paul Ekmans
newborn daughter, Evepink, naked,
not one hour olddid something won-
derful: She flashed her dad an unde-
niably authentic smile, the kind the baby
books say infants cant make until theyre
weeks old. Now 79, he wishes he had time
to pore over the movies he shot of his girl
every day for the first month of her life.
What a joy that would be in my dotage,
he says, wistfully. Andbecause Ekman
is a renowned scholar of human emotion,
who proved through the analysis of facial
expressions that our core emotions are uni-
versalhis motivation is as much work as
fatherly affection: Hed love to try to upend
the conventional wisdom about the slow
rate at which humans are thought to devel-
op. But he has a full plate already, collabo-
rating, for instance, with the Dalai Lama
on investigations into meditation and emo-
tional equilibriumand hes not getting
any younger.
One consolation, though: Eve is carry-
ing on his work about emotionwith her
own practical, timely twist. While Paul
Ekman has illuminated the contours of
inner life, Eve, who has a wide and warm
face much like her dads and a brown
shag tipped blond from a long-forgotten
bleach job, wants to teach us how to
think and feelbetter. She studies how to
maintain and develop empathy at work,
and shes developed a program, Develop-
ing and Reconnecting to Empathy and
MeaningDREAM, for shortto help
enrich workers lives. Shes not follow-
ing in my footsteps, says her undeni-
ably proud father, but standing on my
shoulders to see and do things I couldnt.
Thats beyond a parents dream. Shes
remarkable.
For some time now, enlightened gram-
mar and secondary schools have been
coaching children to cultivate emotional
resilience, in response to reams of data
showing that strong social and emotional
skills are important predictors of well-
being and success. Eves field, called adult
emotional skills training, is helping grown-
ups play catch-up in the place where they
spend much of their time: the office.
Occupational burnoutthe dulled men-
tal state caused by prolonged work stress
and characterized by low self-efficacy
(aka lack of accomplishment), detach-
ment, and emotional exhaustionis the
cornerstone of Eve Ekmans broad-ranging
research. In a study she conducted last
summer with guards at a juvenile jail
in San Mateo, California, participants
learned over two daylong sessions how to
identify their own emotional flash points
and to read other peoples emotions
more accurately (using, for the latter,
her fathers facial-expression recognition
techniques). An academic paper on the
prison study is in the works, but before
the training was even finished, the guards
PSYCHOLOGY ELLE BEAUTY
HOW TO LOVE YOUR WORK
New research shows how to make good work relationships great,
and bad ones better. After all, you spend your life with these
people. By Louisa Kamps
116 www. e l l e. c o m
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ELLE BEAUTY PSYCHOLOGY
pronounced it the most profoundly useful
professional development training theyd
ever received. The [guards] feel better
about what they do, better about them-
selvesand that translates to how they
deal with the youth, says Roy Brasil, the
deputy chief of the juvenile jail. Theyre
more empathetic, better adjusted.
Ekman is no ivory-tower academic.
Her affable manner and unself-conscious
playfulness notwithstanding, she is in-
eluctably drawn to human suffering.
I always wanted to help people on the
front lines, she says matter-of-factly. As
a punk-rock teen (she can be seen in this
multiply pierced phase expertly demon-
strating the archetypal facial expressions
of fear, contempt, joy in her dads rivet-
ing 2003 book, Emotions Revealed), she
worked with a food-handout program for
the homeless in Golden Gate Park. In her
early twenties, she helped drug-addicted
sex workers in the gritty Mission neigh-
borhood. And for the past six years, she
has counseled bottomed-out alcohol-
ics, rape victims, and gunshot survivors
and their families as a social worker in
the emergency room of San Francisco
General Hospital. I wish there were a
less self-sacrificial view of doing good,
because it actually feels good, she says.
Brain biology shows were hardwired for
empathy: Our innate abilities to nurture
and protect are central to our species sur-
vival. And, she adds, toggling fast as she
often does between science and Eastern
philosophy, Buddhists say that our true
nature is caring, and whatever obscures
that nature is dust on the gold. That reso-
nates with me.
Brasil is an unlikely convert to Ek-
mans way of thinking. If you asked me
40 years ago, I never would have thought
that a young PhD candidate from Berke-
ley could teach me anything. I would
have said, You must be smoking some-
thing. Im a tough police officer. Those
Berkeley do-goodersthey want to solve
every problem with dialogue. He pauses
to laugh with wonder. If youve been in
the trenches, fighting for your life, you
think no amount of dialogue is going to
help. But the irony is, after Eve showed
up, what Im feeling is a feeling of good-
ness: Theres hope for life; go smell the
flowers; it doesnt have to be a fight all
the time.
So what are Ekmans strategies for get-
ting and staying on the sunnier side of
work, where theres hope andcan it re-
ally be?even some fresh flowers to sniff?
W
hen she first asked the guards if they
ever experienced job stress, she got
an earful: Everyone was like, You
want stress? I got that! Stress, the
guards reported, made them feel down
and likelier to blow up at their kids and
spouses, or to block them out.
Yet when Ekman moved to her next
questionNow, who here in the room
is emotional?not a soul raised a hand.
Ekman wasnt shocked: Who wants to
cop to being emotional on the job? But
then Ekman reframed their thinking.
Stress, which no one is ashamed to admit
toin fact, some people seem to revel
in kvetching about how incredibly busy
they areis just the buildup of emotions
such as fear and anger. While a particu-
lar feeling may be fleeting, lasting a few
seconds, the refractory period lingers,
and during this phase, people are more
likely to regard even neutral or positive
incoming information as further cause for
affront. (And beware that chronically
cranky colleague: Negative emotions
are contagious. So when you have a
negative, cynical coworker in the room,
all of a sudden youre in bad mood too.
Its tough.)
Ekman says that once people start to
understand that emotion is not separate
from thought but integral to itbecause
emotion is the filter through which we
assign meaning to, uh, everything
they become more curious (even the
typically therapy averse) about whats
making them feel and act the way they
do. Ekman teaches simple mindfulness
meditation techniques that can be used
to notice tension rising and to derail de-
structive thoughts before they escalate.
She also encourages people to analyze
their regrettable emotional episodes
(as she politely calls those nasty snubs at
the coffee machine, or those blown dead-
lines that, sooner or later, bedevil us all),
scrolling backward from these smoking
guns to find the trigger. When you talk
about the time line of an emotional epi-
sode and help people realize we all have
background experiences that influence
our everyday behavior, they can use the
information to break out of negative pat-
terns, Ekman says.
O
ne of Ekmans own regrettable epi-
sodes occurred at the hospital on a
night she sprinted many times be-
tween a gunshot victims room and
a large gathering of his friends and fam-
ily outside. She assumed from the size of
the crowd that the patient was an impor-
tant guy, someone who really mattered
to all of them, which in turn created the
feeling in her of really rooting for him,
of being on his team. She badgered doc-
tors and nurses in a fervent effort to bring
the family regular updates. But when she
learned later that the wounded man was
actually a gangbanger whod shot (and
killed) other people, her rage flared. I
felt personally betrayed, she says, before
adding, pointedly, but I was really be-
trayed by myself. By letting herself get
overly invested emotionally, she ex-
plains, she lost sight of other patients
who also deservedat least as much as
the gangbangerhaving her tune in to
their needs.
Ekman says that attentional flexibil-
itygiving the proper amount of atten-
tion at the right time to each case or task,
and being able to step back when hot
emotions threaten rational thoughtis
important in every job (and obviously
critical in the high-pressure fields of
medicine and law enforcement, where
slipped attention can have fatal conse-
quences). Her suggestion for figuring out
where ones energies should be focused is
clear-cut: Pause, take a deep breath, and
get curious. Adopting a poised, curi-
ous stance gives us a moment to inject
choice into a potentially charged en-
counter, as well as home in on whomever
were working with. Ekman likes to share
a bit of concrete interpersonal advice
from one of her dissertation advisers,
Jodi Halpern, an expert on doctor-patient
relationships: The best way to cope with
a stressful situation isnt to blurt out
that great humanity-denier/conversation-
stopper I know how you feel, but rather
to say, Tell me what you feel.
O
ne of the big, interesting find-
ings about stress, Ekman says, is
that whether the source is the risk
of someone dying if you dont hook
Beware the chronically cranky colleague: Negative emotions are
contagious, Eve Ekman says. So when you have a negative,
cynical coworker, all of a sudden youre in a bad mood too.
(conti nued on page 182)
118 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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OUTDOOR YOGA, GREEN INTERIORS, MODEL CITIZENRY & MOREEDITED BY AMANDA FITZSIMONS
Supermodel turned superenvironmentalist
Angela Lindvall updates her sustainable
compound outside L.A.
By Amanda FitzSimons
PHOTOGRAPHED BY ROGE R DAVI E S
ECO
MANIAC
I
t makes absolutely no sense that I live in L.A., says Angela Lindvall.
Ive probably missed jobs because of it.
That kind of admission might be a cause of concern for some vet-
eran models who have a whole new class of stars to contend with, but
for Lindvallat 34, an industry icon whos graced almost 100 magazine
covers (including ELLEs), fronted campaigns for CoverGirl, and last
year beamed into living rooms nationwide as host of Lifetimes Project
Runway All Starsthe long commute to the worlds fashion capitals is a
NATURAL BEAUTY Lindvall, in a
vintage Guy Laroche
caftan from Decades,
takes in the postcard-
perfect views of the
Santa Monica mountains
from her roof deck.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 123
small price to pay for the five-bedroom stucco house on a lush,
seven-acre stretch in L.A.-adjacent hippie enclave Topanga Can-
yon that she shares with sons Dakota, 11, and Sebastian, 8. You
just feel calmer being here, she says.
Long before the environment became a fashionable cause,
Lindvall established herself as modelings resident green queen,
getting involved in initiatives like the Collage Foundation, aimed
at educating young people about eco causes, which she founded
in 2001. Its not about chaining yourself to a treealthough I
certainly understand why people do that, says Lindvall, whose
interest in the subject was piqued as a 17-year-old fledgling model,
after leaving her native Missouri for gritty New York. For me, its
about inspiring peopleand one of the ways Ive tried to do that
is with my home.
Not surprisingly, Lindvall has never been an urban high-rise
kind of girl. For two years, she and then husband William Ed-
wards, a diver from South Africa, resided on a houseboat docked
on Manhattans Upper West Side. She headed west eight years
ago, when a career in acting showed promiseshe appeared in
the 2005 dark comedy Kiss Kiss Bang Bangand stayed there, ab-
sorbed in the project of transforming her property into a sustain-
able paradise. Among her endeavors: installing a filtration system
(to cut back on bottled water); planting fruit trees and herbs for
backyard-to-table meals; setting up a charging station for her Ford
C-MAX Energi hybrid; and installing solar panels to power the
yurt out back, which serves as a cozy guesthouse.
Lindvalls proudest addition, though, is an airy circus-tent-like
canopy made from a repurposed army parachute, under which
she and her kundalini yoga instructorwho conveniently lives in
a cabin on the propertyteach classes twice a week. (The sessions
are advertised on a cardboard sign at the foot of the driveway.)
Lindvall was just as thoughtful about the form of the space as
she was about its function. To achieve the southwestern-cool vibe
of the main house, which looks as if it could double as a Ralph
Lauren showroom, the model tapped local (and aptly named) in-
terior design firm ZenBunni to craft family-room drapes from
vintage denim and ceiling beams sourced from dismantled Ti-
betan temples. When I first began researching all the ways you
could live green, it was overwhelming, she says.
Luckily, Lindvall is open to happy accidents: The dining room
table, made by her sons former nanny, is inlaid with assorted
dried flowers and some curious-looking pods. I had a friend
over for dinner the other night, she says, and he was like, Oh
my God, do you realize you have opium in your table?
ELLE LIVINGDESIGN
GREEN ACRES (Clockwise
from top left) Lindvall
strikes a pose in her
tented yoga studio; an
aerial shot of the main
house; on the backyard
trampoline with her
sons; in her rustic-chic
dining room (with
inlaid table); the living
room fireplace
MODEL HOME (From left)
The backyard yurt;
poolside with
Sebastian and
Dakota; charging
her Ford hybrid
For a behind-
the-scenes peek
at our shoot, visit
ELLE.com/
living
124 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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ESSAY ELLE READER
SEXUAL
HEALING
When Tracy Clark-Flory
confronted the most
difficult experience of her
life, she found comfort in
rough sex. Then things
really got scary
I
vividly remember the patch of sidewalk that I was looking at
when my dad said, Im afraid its bad news, honey. I clutched
my cell phone to my ear as he explained that a CT scan of my
moms lungs had revealed a tumor wrapped around her esopha-
gus and metastasis in her bones. I can still see the small dots in
the cementshades of gray in this decidedly black-and-white sit-
uationas he explained that her prognosis was bleak: She had
six months to a year. I also recall the green chain-link fence that I
thought I might have to grab onto as a sense of vertigo took over,
as though I might pass out from this too-sudden shift in reality.
Everything else in the moments and even months after that is
a blureverything except for the sex.
It started with Sam, a 38-year-old waiter with leprechaunish
looks. I wasnt attracted to him, exactly, but he had an intrigu-
ingly dangerous, if corny, edgewhat with his conspicuous flash
of chest hair and wolf-tooth necklace. Already a few drinks deep,
I met him in a local bar, and it took two more beers before I was
straddling him in a shadowy pleather booth and he was shoving
his hands down my pants.
At my place, he took the lead, gripping my face, wrists, or hair
with his handsI somehow just knew this was how hed be. The
harder he squeezed, pressed, or pulled, the louder I moaned. He
got the message. Before long, Sam was flipping me over, reposi-
tioning my limbs, and dragging me across the carpet, as if I were
a RealDoll. He seemed awed by my enthusiasm for being man-
handled: Are you kidding me? Youve got to be kidding me, he
said breathlessly, as though hed just won the kinky lottery.
I was in awe too: While Id certainly seen far more extreme
porn, and even had reported on BDSM as a journalist covering
sex for an online magazine, Id never so much as used fuzzy hand-
cuffs before. My fantasies were sometimes off-color, but the most
aggression Id encountered in real life was a couple of de rigueur
slaps on the rear. I vaguely knew my new desires were connected
to my moms illness; Id also chopped my long hair into an Aeon
Fluxstyle boba superheroine, ready to fight eviland started
talking about getting a tattoo, an idea Id always sneered at. It was
as if I were casting off all the markers of myself, because who was
I without my mother? Or rather, who was I to exist without her?
Sam left me with rug burns on my elbows and knees that
scabbed over and months later became scars, but these were
nothing compared to the grapefruit-size bruise on my butt. It was
such a spectacular purple that I had to show it to one of my best
friends: Look at this, I said, carefully pulling down my pants,
trying to reveal only the mark. Look at this. It seemed a marvel
126 w w w. e l l e. c o m
of the human body, this firework of pigment right under my skin.
She looked less impressed than concernedand that was increas-
ingly becoming the case with my friends. They just dont get it, I
thought: This isnt self-annihilation, its affirmation.
Id become fascinated with my body, in fact. After spending
hours clicking through a digital copy of my mothers CT scan,
which revealed in startling detail all the precious organs that kept
her alive, Id stare at the veins in my own hands, imagining the
blood passing through them, or Id notice the thump of my heart
and wonder that it hadnt stopped yet.
My wounds were with me when I visited my mom in the hos-
pital a few days after my session with Sam. Shed been rushed
in for surgery because of a blood clot near her aorta, a compli-
cation of the cancer. She looked at me with wild, pleading eyes
and in a stage whisper explained that doctors had secretly moved
her from the original hospital to a locked psychiatric ward. I was
terrified toonot because I believed her conspiracy theory, but
because she sounded like shed lost her mind. At that moment, I
wasnt sure if it was just the drugs she was onwhat if the can-
cer had spread to her brain? What if my mom was already gone?
I turned to her and repeated the words shed said to me so many
times as I was growing up, after any embarrassment or disappoint-
ment: Its going to be okay. Everythings going to be okay.
S
hortly thereafter, I met Mike, a smart and charismatic
man with a drinking problem and a self-declared hero com-
plex. I was drawn to him instantly. Grief is isolating, but
with him I didnt feel so alone. He seemed always to reek
of whiskeyit was the smell of poison, or medicine, a sign
that there was something in him that needed to be numbed.
Wed met through a mutual friend and first hooked up while talk-
ing about my moms illness. You must be having a hard time,
he said, stroking my hands, and then gestured for me to sit on
his lap.
From the beginning he was forceful in bed, but in a way that
seems to have become standard among guys of my millennial
generation: jackhammer pounding with a little hair pulling. Just
as with Sam, I urged him further. Soon he was taking me from
behind while covering my mouth with his hand. Hed tug at my
jaw or throat, using it for leverage, pulling my head up, up, up,
like we were doing a pornographic yoga move. Although we
never explicitly linked my mothers condition to my appetite for
pain, he must have known it played a role, yet hed make confi-
dent proclamations like, Girls love to be roughed up.
When we were apart, it was as if he were still with me. Id send
him text-message updates, things like, still purple and ribs are
bruised. Mike would apologize, but I wasnt complaining, and
he knew it. My sorrow was uncontainable, but bruises and scabs
have clear edges and a short timetable for healing. I started to rec-
ognize that rough sex, which I was pursuing with other men dur-
ing the same period, was a means of physically manifesting my
interior pain, releasing it in a way that my tears couldnt. It was
a sexual version of cutting. So much of my grief was abstract
horror at an inevitable but still only imagined world without my
mombut there was nothing theoretical about the marks on my
body. I looked as beat-up as I felt. It relieved my feelings and vali-
dated them, all at once.
At one point, I visited my parents house with a large scarf
wrapped around a hand-shape bruise, and while part of me
wanted my mom to catch a glimpse of the evidence of my pain,
I mostly felt ashamed. Her arms were covered with sores from
weekly poking and prodding at the cancer clinic, her belly a col-
lection of bruises from daily injections in her stomach, and my
body was scored because of what? Because of my inability to bear
emotional pain, because of a frivolous overidentification with my
mothers suffering, because I was furious at how little control we
have over life and death and was turning my rage inward.
Manhattan sex therapist and author Ian Kerner tells me that
just as with eating, drinking, or shopping, sex can quickly esca-
late into a way of self-medicating to deal with emotional unrest,
whether its to avoid those emotions or, conversely, to confront
them in a deeper, fuller way. Defining what is healthy when it
comes to such coping is complicated and often depends on the
duration of the behavior and to what extent it was situational or
in danger of becoming chronic, he says, and, crucially, whether
its causing personal or relationship distress.
Undoubtedly unhealthy was the binge drinking Id been do-
ing, which typically accompanied the sex. I hit points that
shouldve been rock bottomsuch as when I woke up next to my
own vomit, with only the fuzziest recollection of having drunk-
enly thrown up in my bedbut I managed to keep sinking lower.

L
ooking back at the time with my mom immediately after her
diagnosis is almost like trying to see the sun: I can only catch
a partial glimpse of what it was like. Even then, it felt like a
surreal, out-of-body experience.
Not long after she was discharged from the hospital, I can re-
member curling up next to her in bed. She was asleep, moan-
ing and mumbling. I wanted to wake her from what seemed to
be a nightmare, but was reality any better? Awake, in her mor-
phine haze, she formed sentences that were coherent but made
no sense. Harold is coming over for dinner, she told me non-
chalantly, referring to a family friend whod died months before.
Later, when she got up to sort through the medicine bottles on
her bedside table, I saw just how decimated she was. The flesh of
her thighs appeared to hang from the bone, as though there were
no muscle left. Without thinking about it, I sat up in bed and read-
ied my arms in case she started to teeter, much like she must have
done for me during the first years of my life. Id never before felt
the need to protect my mom.
Im an only child, and my parents and I used to have a game
when I was little: At the end of a dinner out, Id whisper a code
word to my dad that was the cue for us to leave the restaurant
ahead of my mother. Then Id hide nearby, and when she came
out, hed pretend hed lost me. What do you mean you lost her?
my mom would plead. Oh no! Wheres my bunny? At that, Id
emerge from the shadows with a leap, and shed wrap me in a big
hug: There you are! I adored this routine; though I didnt grasp
it then, of course, it was a game about the dangers of the world that
served as reassurance that my mom would always look out for me.
She took care of other children, too. Our place was home base
for my friends, some with absent or abusive parents, and my
mom was always stocking the kitchen with snacks and inviting
everyone to stay for dinner. She went so far as to take in a boy-
friend of mine whod dropped out of high school and was sleep-
ing in his car amid serious family unrest; she helped him get his
GED and enroll in college. My mother was never the cuddly type
(her own strict upbringing had discouraged that), but her capac-
ity for nurturing was huge.
It wasnt just that the world felt safer with her in itit also
made more sense. We talked endlessly, especially when I was in
college, about philosophy, literature, religion. This had always
been the nature of our odd little trio. My parents and I were
known at local restaurants as the reading family, because wed
each bring our own book to read, although we often as not began
talking to one another instead. As I grew up, so did our conver-
sations: In my teens and early twenties, it seemed no topic was
off-limits. Berkeley liberals through and through, my parents not
only talked openly about sex but rhapsodized about its spiritual,
transcendent possibilities. As progressive as they were, how ever,
(conti nued on page 182)
w w w. e l l e. c o m 127
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k
ELLE MAN
HAMMER
TIME
With his turn as the eponymous
character in this months The Lone
Ranger, Armie Hammer is primed for
Hollywoods A-list. Jessica Pressler finds
hes the most charming of paradoxes:
a manly man with an unself-conscious
romantic streak
PHOTOGRAPHED BY D O UG I N G L I S H
ELLE MAN
128 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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L
H
i, are you? inquires a baritone voice from above. When
I look up from my seat to see Armie Hammer leaning over
me, well, lets just say I now understand what it means to
swoon. Not just because he is, impossibly, 40 minutes early
for our lunch date, or because he recognized me, having taken
the unprecedented step of googling his interviewer, but because
there might not be another man whose physical description is
so worthy of romance-novel clichs. Six-foot-five, with shoulders
that can only be described as strapping, Hammer has smooth,
golden skin and eyes the color of the Pacific Ocean. On this cool
spring day, his flaxen hair is windswept, and his ridiculously chis-
eled jawline is dotted with stubblethe first sign that behind his
polite, aristocratic veneer lurks a wildness.
Earlier, Hammers publicist had told me the 26-year-old would
be most comfortable here, at the restaurant of the Sunset Mar-
quis, in West Hollywood, but as he tosses his motorcycle hel-
met into the booth, happily chattering about the ride over on his
Vespa (I mean, its about as badass as you can be while still rid-
ing a scooter), a substitute for the motorcycle he dearly wants but
that his wife of three years, Elizabeth Chambers, wont let him
buy, it becomes obvious that this was a lie. Armie Hammer is not
some Hollywood prig who feels at ease only in a designer hotel.
He is a man, or, at least, a large, golden-retriever-like man-boy,
who seems to be having some trouble fitting his long legs in even
this oversize booth.
Id read that Hammer grew up shooting in Texas (It was a fam-
ily activity kind of thinggo out and shoot a bunch of cactuses,
he explains), so I suggest skipping lunch and heading to the near-
est gun range. Fuck yeah! he says, scrolling through his iPhone,
trying to find one nearby. My favorite is next to the Angeles Na-
tional Forest. You can do things like throw a watermelon in the
air and shoot it. Hammer is a gun enthusiasthe bought his first
rifle at 18and he puts his hobby to use as the title character in
this months The Lone Ranger, but hes sensitive to the current de-
bate surrounding the weapons. Im definitely for responsibility,
he says, pausing in his search. I dont think Obama is trying to
take our guns, and I dont think we have to fight the government
to keep them. If you want to go out for a hunting trip and shoot
cans with your son and a .22, thats fine. Do I need an AK-47 with
a 100-round magazine if Im going on a hunting trip? No. It is,
to borrow a phrase from Confucius, like using a cannon to kill a
mosquito. Having just made a Western, though, he says, break-
ing into a grin, its fun to have a gun on your hip. Youre like,
This is an extension of my manhood.
He resumes his search, but alas, the closest range doesnt open
till three, two hours from now, and Hammer has to meet some-
one at four. Damn it! That would have been so fun, he says. I
do like this place, though. I used to come to the Whiskey Bar all
the time and get shitfaced. Its the best. Youre sitting there drink-
ing and next to you is, like, Steven Tyler. His eyes light up. Idea?
Alas, the bar doesnt open till 8 P.M., the waiter tells us. Accep-
tance settling in, Hammer orders a steak, rare.
The actor is of almost atavistically manly pursuits. He owns
a collection of vintage Olivetti typewriters, hopes to one day
open a cigar factory, and amuses himself on movie sets by read-
ing books on knots. Knots! I love knots, he declares as he slices
into his steak.
Armies a rare find, says The Lone Ranger director Gore Verbin-
ski. He is in a senseout of time. I felt this way the first time I met
him. Like visiting a young version of an old, old, friend.
Hammers portrayal of the Winklevoss twins in 2010s The So-
cial Network so thoroughly charmed audiences that the actual
twins, who are much less charismatic, have gotten famous as a
result. But since that movie, hes maintained a relatively low pro-
file, with only two films in the past three years: J. Edgar, in which
he covered his face in liver spots and wrinkles to play Leonardo
DiCaprios gay lover, and the Snow White redo Mirror Mirror, in
which he played Prince Alcott. That should change after the re-
lease of The Lone Ranger, a $250 million summer blockbuster in
which Johnny Depp plays sidekick to Hammer; just this morn-
ing, in anticipation of the movie, one industry group christened
him the male star of tomorrow.
Hammer didnt take the part just to see his name in lights,
though. I love an adventure movie, he says, with boyish en-
thusiasm. A guy who is faced with a problem and he has to
deal with it, and then theres the adventurethe heros journey,
to borrow a term from Joseph Campbell. Like Moby-Dick. Fuck-
ing Ishmael! Hammer is in the process of starting a production
company and hopes to secure the rights to the life of John Fair-
fax, a British adventurer who rowed across the Pacific Ocean,
whom Hammer first learned of after reading his obituary in The
New York Times. Everybodys got a little of that in them, where
you just cant sit still.
Hammer would know. During the filming of The Lone Ranger in
Moab, Utah, he spent his weekends off with the crew, rock climb-
ing or cliff jumping or renting four-wheelers, he says, to just tear
up mountains. And once, while in Australia, this homeless guy
tried to stab me. I punched him and stole his knife.
Wait. You punched a homeless guy and stole his knife? I ask.
He started it. The guy had mistaken Hammer for a person
who owed him money, and started swinging his knife. I was full
of piss and hubris, and was like Fuck you, he says, mock punch-
ing the air. I took his knife. Because he would have tried to stab
somebody else! He was obviously crazy.
My wife says I have a frontal lobe issue. Your frontal lobe
controls your danger response, like, Whoa, I shouldnt be doing
this. But she says its okay, because your frontal lobe doesnt fully
develop until around 30, so I have until then to get all this shit out
of my system and then I need to calm down.
D
espite all that adrenaline chasing, Armie Hammer is no or-
dinary bro. (The references to works of literature and phi-
losophers may be the first clue.) Hes Armand Hammer the
second, named for his great-grandfather, who was the long-
time chairman of oil company Occidental Petroleum Corpo-
rationnot the baking soda, though he did eventually sit on
that companys board. (My great-grandfather wanted to buy
it, Hammer says, because he thought it was funny that they
named their baking soda Arm & Hammer. They were like, No
thanks, its not for sale. But later, when they went public, he
ended up buying a bunch of shares and was like, Ha-ha I have
your company now. )
Hammer grew up mainly in Los Angeles (with a few years
spent in Texas and the Cayman Islands), attending private
schools, but even though he had a face for high society, he had
the soul of a rebel: One high school kicked him out after he wrote
his name in lighter fluid on the lawn and set it on fire. And he re-
sisted his parents pressure to go to college. I didnt care about
college, he says. I knew I wanted to make movies. Fine, they
said, but hed have to support himself.
Fortunately, Hammer started getting work right away, though
just bit parts in movies and TV shows such as Gossip Girl. Usu-
ally my character was called something like Jock #4 or Aber-
crombie Boy. At first he was distracted by the L.A. party scene.
It was like a He pauses, for a brief moment visibly uncomfort-
able. I picture my grandparents reading this article, he explains
before continuing. Id grown up in a household of so much love
and so much good, everything just felt wholesome. Once I was on
my own, I was like, Lets see how hot this candle can burn. For three
or four years, there were drugs and drinking and staying up for
w w w. e l l e. c o m 129
ELLE MAN
days on end and a lot of girls who were, in his estimation, bad,
bad news.
One chick tried to stab me when we were having sex. I should
so not be telling this story, he saysthen does so anyway. She
was like, True love leaves scars. You dont have any. And then
she tried to stab me with a butcher knife. Of course I promptly
broke up with her, he says. Seven months later.
I called him Bruce Wayne, says friend Joe Manganiello, who,
despite a nearly 10-year age difference, instantly bonded with
Hammer after meeting him in an acting class; the pair formed
an unofficial support system and Tall Actors of Hollywood club.
He was smart, he was well-spoken, and he drove around in
crazy race cars that resembled Batmobiles. When Manganiello
was cast in True Blood, he celebrated by buying Hammer a steak.
Not long afterward, Hammer returned the favor when he landed
The Social Network.
Hammer didnt take advantage of the celebrity that came with
the movie the way a lot of 24-year-olds might have. Instead, he
married Chambers, a TV journalist and former model whom he
started dating in 2008. Chambers had been seeing someone else,
but the couple was unhappy, and one night when she came over
with friends, Hammer made his move with a prepared speech.
I was like, You have to break up with your boyfriend because
we have to start dating. Her mouth kind of fell open. I said, You
were made for me, and she got this look on her face likeHam-
mer launches into a girls voice Dont you even. He laughs.
I was like, Wait, wait! And I was made for you. We were made to
be together. So we can do this 30 years from now, when Ive got-
ten married a couple of times and youve gotten married a couple
of times, or we can start now and end up 60 years from now sit-
ting on a porch in rocking chairs, talking about how good an ad-
venture the whole thing was.
Clearly, the speech worked. I like the idea of marriage. I like
the idea that I have a best friend, he says, twisting the ring on
his finger. Its just really comforting. I remember being single
and trying to date, and it was just stressful and hard. It wasnt
fun. This is fun. I mean, not to be graphic, he says, lowering his
voice, ostensibly so his grandparents cant hear, but you can
have sex and in the middle just start laughing about something
totally funny. You cant do that with someone youre dating;
youre too nervous.
When it comes to his wife, Hammer is an unapologetic roman-
tic. I have no qualms about kissing her in public. I know some
guys are like, Stop, theres people around, he says. Theres
such a big part of our culture, the male psycheyou dont cry,
you dont show weakness. I mean, guys are just as emotionally
complicated as women. We just play dumb better. He readily
calls Chambers his soul mate. I dont mean it in a cheesy way,
but just like that connection, you just get it.
Given his familys notable wealth (they founded the Ham-
mer Museum across town, whose permanent collection includes
works by Van Gogh and Czanne), its easy to assume that
theres a sizable trust fund that Hammer can tap into whenever
he wants, but he insists his parents have never given him a large
sum of money, nor has he asked for it. For a while in our mar-
riage, it was pretty tight, he says. And we liked that. We like
living sort of hand-to-mouth. It makes you appreciate the time
when you dont have to live like that. We didnt want to go to my
parents and tuck our tails between our legs and be like, Can you
help us? We wanted to be our own adults.
The sincerity with which he delivers this spiel makes it im-
possible for me to roll my eyes. Still, I cant quite believe it when
he says that money is another reason he hasnt bought a motor-
cycle. There was once another Hammer, by the name of MC,
who spent all of his money really quickly, and I would like to
avoid that.
But youre the male movie star of tomorrow! I say.
But Im not the male movie star of today, he rejoins.
Hammer is taking a strategic break from acting, he says,
making air quotes, which is another way of saying he hasnt
found a job he wants to take. There are offers, he admits. But
theyre the kind of offers that are like, We gotta get him, that
movie is coming out, offer him a part in the movie. And its like,
You want me to play a 46-year-old Hispanic male? That doesnt
seem right.
When it comes to his career, Hammer is unusually restrained,
as evidenced by the brevity of his rsum. He is wary of the traps
he, as a member of the Twilight generation, might fall into. Im
not crazy about taking my shirt off for a movie, he says. Right
now, thats the thing: You have a young, handsome actor, take his
shirt off, put him in front of the camera. It sets up this pressure to
stay camera ready all the time. I dont want to think about myself
that much. The guys who do it are like, Oh, its been two hours,
I have to eat yams. My glycemic index is dropping. It can very
easily turn people into narcissists. It just seems silly.
Hed rather not act at all than act in the wrong movie. A lot of
people dont understand the hours that go into making a movie.
Its 18 hours on your feet, doing shit, and then you get a couple of
hours of sleep and you wake up and do it again. But it feels good,
he stresses. I love this way too much to turn it into work.
In the meantime, he and Chambers have opened a bakery,
Bird, in Chambers hometown of San Antonio, for which they
have big plans slash delusions of grandeur, like maybe franchis-
ing it. At the time we meet, the only big role in his future is that
of grand marshal of San Antonios Battle of Flowers Parade. Im
just waiting to find the right thing, he explains. Thats what I
have found every step of the way: Choose the right project for the
right reason. A few weeks later, the right project comes along: the
Guy Ritchie film adaptation of The Man From U.N.C.L.E., in which
Hammer is slated to play a secret agent alongside Tom Cruise.
The check arrives. Hammer goes for it, but I get there first.
This goes against all my chivalrous instincts, he says, blushing
a little. But thank you.
Outside by his scooter, Hammer shows me one of the knots
he invented. This one begins with a basic slipknot but has a neat
half-hitch at the end. I wanted to start with something classic,
he says, but then theres a little twist to it. As a metaphor for his
personality, its not bad.
Hammer gives me a hug. It feels a bit like being enveloped by
a bag of warm rocks. Down in the valley, the sun has been get-
ting huge and glowy, infusing the streets with a warm light, and
by the time he starts his bike and waves goodbye, the male star
of tomorrow is literally riding off into the sunset. On his scooter.
For now.
Id grown up in a household of so much love and so much good,
everything just felt wholesome. Once I was out on my own, I was
like, Lets see how hot this candle can burn.
130 w w w. e l l e. c o m
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and-greet with Emily Dougherty, ELLE Beauty & Fitness Director, on Beauty
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J U L Y 2 0 1 3 VISIT ELLEEXTRA.COM FOR MORE FASHION-FORWARD INFO
EXTRA
ELLE READER
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ADVICE
A SHORT COURSE FOR THE
WELL-ENDOWED
DEAR E. JEAN: Im from the wrong side of
the tracks (emphasis on wrong), and Im
engaged to a wonderful man. His family is from
the right side of the tracksquite well-off. This
has never been an issue for us. We truly appreci-
ate and support each other. But now hes scored
an amazing, very high-paying job in New York
City. Well be moving right after the wedding
and embarking on the adventure together.
Im so excited! But Im in a bit over my head.
Were Midwesterners, and while Im certainly
not an idiot, well be entering a world of wealthy
peoplea world Im not accustomed to. In addi-
tion, hell be working constantly, so Ill be
navigating primarily on my own. Any advice for
a newly rich gal like me? Are there unspoken
rules for rich people in New York that Im not
aware of?
Pass Go, Continue to Park Avenue
PARK, MY YOUNG NABOB: Oh, yes.
There are rules. And when Madonna and
Hillary Clinton (from the great states of
Michigan and Illinois) are in the Big Apple,
they break every one of them. Not to men-
tion the laws of decorum trampled by half
the society chicks with their own handbag
lines. So without further ado, here are
your
Seven Rules for the Nouveau
Riche (and the Rest of Us, Too)
1. If youre well dressed and dont frighten
the cabbies, you can get away with any-
thing in New York.
2. Always volunteer for more charities than
you can handle.
3. If you regret anything about a posh din-
ner party the night before, it will usually be
something you did while on your best
behavior.
4. People like to be flattered. Never forget
this.
5. A woman navigating primarily on [her]
own is in the best company.
6. Stand up for the homeless and the crazy.
7. Imagine what you can achieve if you
dont waste time trying to fit in and follow
rules.
P.S. Hold the phone! Just spoke with my
friend Lisa Birnbach, the illustrious author
of The Official Preppy Handbook and True
Prep, and she says rule number one should
be: Never refer to yourself as rich.
P.P.S. My neighbor, the elegant Eileen
Bertelli, partner at Parson Weems Pub-
lisher Services, suggests you do what she
did upon arriving in Manhattan: Spend a
day with a personal shopper at Bergdorf
Goodman. A most excellent rule! Its
always witty to have good taste in bad taste,
but never clever to have bad taste in good
taste. Good luck!
MOTHERS OF INVENTION
NEED AN INTERVENTION
DEAR E. JEAN: Im a 28-year-old MD, my
mother is a molecular biophysicist, and Im
applying for jobs as a medical science liaison at
various pharmaceutical companies. Those are
the facts. Now for the craziness:
My mother, my sister, and I are in the middle
of a patent battle. The patent application is not
the problem. The problem is, Im refusing to sign
a contract that (to me) seems to provide an
unreasonably small percentage of profit to my
mother and me for a medical discovery that we
coinvented. My mother, the principal scientist,
has asked that no attorneys get involved.
But this contract is questionable. My sister
(the business brain in the family) drew it up, and
its been approved by my mother (the science
brain). In my opinion, it offers too great a profit
to potential venture capitalists. But my mom
wants to work only with my sister, and theyre
both angry with me. Help!
Modern Family
DOC, DARLING: Madame Curie gave
birth to two radiant daughters. The first
child, Irne, grew up to be a Nobel winner
like her mother. The second, Eve, became
a writer. If Madame Curie and Irne had
signed an agreement as dumb as the con-
tract your sister has drawn up, the history
of medicine would have been changed
radiation, X-rays, etc., might never have
happened, and radium would probably be
used to make Parisian underpants glow in
the dark .
You and your mother have invented a
breakthrough drug-delivery systemIve
been reading about your stupendous
work!that will save lives. So no more
messing around. Retain a law firm that has
expertise in contracts, intellectual prop-
erty, and patent law. Brilliant as your
mother is, signing a paper that gives a large
percentage of profit to a potential (good
lord!) venture capitalist is insane.
Your lawyer(s) will draft some language.
Then, when you speak with your sister and
mother, you can suggest a short, one-page
agreement that states how the profits will
be split between the inventorsi.e., you
and your mother. Then, after youve met
with several world-class venture funds spe-
cializing in medical start-ups, and after
youve selected the best company to help
you bring your discovery to the world, you
may proceed so far as to talk about the
profit-split with the VC.
Now, one last word. Go with your sis-
ter to the funding meetings. Its your
invention. Take charge! (And take a close
look at the percentage your sister cuts
for herself.)
SOME THINGS YOU JUST
SHOULDNT SHARE
DEAR E. JEAN: An attractive 20-year-old
girl asked my husband if he would father a
child for her. Shes the girlfriend of my hus-
bands 51-year-old brother, who is unable to
have children.
Ive always wanted children. My husband has
consistently refused, saying he doesnt want the
responsibility of raising, caring, and paying for
ASK
E.JEAN
Tormented? Driven witless? Whipsawed by confusion?
136 w w w. e l l e. c o m
kids. But now, as hes hit midlife, hes decided
he wants progeny. Of course, as Ive already
entered menopause, I no longer have the option of
changing my mind.
I told him that if he went ahead with it, I
would consider it the worst betrayal a man could
make. I begged him not to do it. He and the girl-
friend meanwhile were sending sexy texts back
and forth. He went. He had sex with the girl-
friendtwice (that he admits to)and, sure
enough, impregnated her.
Now the child, a boy, is seven months old. Hes
very cute. What on earth can I do? Any time I
allow myself to think about it, I get upset. Do I
leave? Divorce? Just accept it?
She Has the Child I Wanted
MY VERY DEAR SHE: Im grieved to the
heart. And I dont quite know where to
begin. From your husbands perspective,
hes an upright, loyal, unflagging brother.
From your perspective, hes a shabby, cheat-
ing, double-crossing traitor. And let me just
say here that though I dont know the babys
feelings on the subject, my own feelings as I
read your letter are barely to be described.
I shouted: My God! and Give me this
swines address! and Get out of the way! I
want a running kick at him! It took two
strenuous hikes up the mountain for me to
calm down, pour myself a glass of Riesling,
and look at both sides.
The baby is seven months old. The fact
is, you have not left. This points to two pos-
sible theories. You either still love your
husband enough to find a way to forgive
him (indicating that the fellow, though a
shifty, texting, two-faced chump, may not
be a total shifty, texting, two-faced chump).
Or, you are just not a woman to toss a mar-
riage asideor throw a husband through
the living room window.
So, because you havent left, because
you say youve always wanted children,
because your husband has presented the
strongest proof on earth that he also wants
kids, I suggest you seriously think about
adopting. If the chap gives you an argu-
ment, 10 minutes of you reminding him
how vigorously he demanded his rights to
become a father 15 months before should
shut him down.
One last consideration: The little tyke is
now part of the family. The odds of a
21-year-old (no matter how lofty her inten-
tions) sticking with a lover (your
brother-in-law) three decades older than
she are not the best. She may wish to
expand her horizons, and you may find
yourself constantly begged to babysit your
little nephew/stepson. A happy conclu-
sion? Perhaps. However, if she starts
seeking a new boyfriendkeep an eye on
your husband.
Hes still a bastard.
AND ON A HAPPY NOTE, A
VICTORY FOR WOMANKIND
DEAR E. JEAN: Im a guy who will proba-
bly catch f lak from you for this letter, but last
month I told my girlfriend of four years that I
thought we should take a break. I added
that I might want to date other women. She
was devastated.
I quickly realized my mistake, discovered
that I actually loved her more than ever, and
asked to get back together. Instead, she gave me
a list of demands.
She lives in Palo Alto, California. Im spend-
ing a year at my companys Hong Kong office, so
I flew home to meet her. When I arrived, she was
on a date. When I finally saw her, she said this
new guy rocked her world.
The next day I sent her a message thanking
her for the wonderful four years and apologizing
for being such an idiot, and then I took the train
into San Francisco, meaning to kill myself. I
didnt. I left for Hong Kong. When I arrived, she
sent me an e-mail with the six reasons she thinks
we shouldnt be together:
1. Im too seriously into self-improvement,
while she likes to relax. (She never told me that
she doesnt like all the articles I send her!)
2. I dont give her oral sex. (True, but I would
give it to her now.)
3. I didnt pay enough attention, didnt give
her flowers, didnt care enough about her.
4. She wants to get married. (I want to wait.)
5. Shes a very sensual person and fantasizes
about a Latin lover. (Im not Latin.)
6. At least one of her friends has always
hated me.
Heres my plan: I intend to ask her what I did
right in this relationship, what she likes most,
and work from there. I also plan to ask her for
intimate details on how to pleasure a woman in
oral sex. After this, I will again ask for us to have
no contact for a long period of time.
Do you agree with this? I need some advice on
how to handle her mixed signals.
Unhappy in Hong Kong
MR. UNHAPPY: Suck it up, sir!
The Ask Eeee column has labored
nearly a quarter of a century, collecting
evidence of what happens after a man tells
a woman he wants to take a break and
date other women, and your young
ladys reactionwell, to tell you plainly:
Im in love with her. Girlfriend be all,
Fuck this guy.
Its not that I dont feel for youI do.
Indeed, I want you to speak immediately
with a psychiatrist in Hong Kong about
your thoughts of suicide. (Even if the idea
was only momentary, as youre seriously
into self-improvement I think a few visits
might be enlightening.) As for your plan?
Naw. Naw. It drips of milksop. Not to men-
tion some degree of delusion; her signals
seem decidedly un-mixed.
Pestering her about what you did
right will only make her think of more
things youve been doing wrong. Let
your conduct speak for you. Though she is
infinitely your superior, let your actions
prove that you deserve her. Wait until
you can see her again, and then, if she
permits you, show her youve changed.
Because it is a truth universally acknowl-
edged that a single man who does not
administer pleasure to a lady will always
be in want of a wife.
Ask a question! E-mail E.Jean@AskEJean.com
and tweet to @ejeancarroll. Read past columns
at ELLE.com/AskEJean. Watch videos, write
with anonymity, and exchange genius tips on
Advice Vixens at AskEJean.com. And if you
require a new boyfriend, try Tawkify.com.
?
My boyfriend always ends hours of pillow talk by whispering in
my ear not tonight. Honestly, its no night! Or day (which I
prefer). He tells me hes just not that sexual. My loins and heart
are on fire here! Help!
!
Alas, everyone has been sexually liberated except those who arent
interested in sex. While we look forward to the day when they can
fly their flag, wish the chap welland find a new one.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 137
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Metal-panel dress, Burberry Prorsum, $3,995, visit burberry.com.
Yellow gold link bracelet, David Yurman, price on request. Gold nail
bracelet, circa 1971, Aldo Cipullo for Cartier from FD Gallery, NYC,
price on request. For details, see Shopping Guide.
ACT
NATURALLY
P
op music, that playground of meat dresses and whipped-cream-
spraying brassieres, is hardly the province of the natural. But
Shakira, our cover subject, has long been the rare superstar with a
taste for keeping things low-key. I think Ive been a little bit more
of a control freak, in the past, she tells Joseph Hooper. Ive learned
how to let go a little bit. Ive been able to relax. (Hard to believe that
downtime is on the docket, given that the diva is recording new tracks;
coaching on The Voice; promoting her third fragrance, Elixir; and moth-
ering her five-month-old son.) Natural isnt an adjective that pairs with
the name Paris Hilton, either. But leave it to Sofia Coppola to find an
un-blingy side to the heiresswho has a cameo in Coppolas film The
Bling Ringin her exclusive ELLE shoot at Hiltons home. Another nat-
ural beauty in our pages: House of Cards streaming sensation Kate Mara,
whose go-getting cub reporter Zoe Barnes keeps Netflix addicts hitting
Next Episode. Maras unadorned on-screen look is, she tells ELLE, su-
premely calculated. People are like, Why are you always wearing that
green army jacket? Because its real! Thats what you do in real life.
Real-life fashion is making a refreshing return to the runways for fall,
with oh-so-wearable takes on sportswear separates and classic coats
highlighted in our feature on the New York collections. Plus, our favor-
ite accessories get a new look through the lens of Instagram. Unlike our
opinionated cover girl, they come with a filter.
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w w w. e l l e. c o m 139
Fringed leather poncho,
Tom Ford, price on request,
at Tom Ford, NYC. Patent
leather pumps, Jimmy
Choo, $595. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
140 w w w. e l l e. c o m
SHAKIRAS
PRIME
TIME
FROM HER BEGINNINGS
IN A PROVINCIAL
COLOMBIAN CITY,
SHAKIRA HAS SHOWN
A KNACK FOR SCALING
UP THE SIZE OF HER
DREAMS AND AMBITIONS
JUST AS FAST AS HER
CAREER HAS BLOSSOMED.
NOW SHES CONQUERED
ENTERTAINMENT
TELEVISION, ON
THE VOICE. WHATS
HER NEXT ACT?
BY JOSEPH HOOPER
PHOTOGRAPHED BY CART E R SMI T H
STYLED BY JOE Z E E
www. e l l e. c o m 141
Beaded jersey evening
dress, Ralph Lauren
Collection, $4,998, at
select Ralph Lauren
stores nationwide. For
details, see Shopping Guide.
142 w w w. e l l e. c o m
w w w. e l l e. c o m 143
Macram grommet and
bonded crepe dress,
Anthony Vaccarello,
$3,600, collection at Just
One Eye, L.A. Oval link
bracelets with black ceramic
or diamonds, David Yurman,
$850$3,900. Sterling silver
bracelets, Chrome Hearts,
prices on request. For details,
see Shopping Guide.
144 w w w. e l l e. c o m
I
n the lush semitropical courtyard of a Moorish-looking grand
hotel in Pasadena, California, Shakira emerges from under a
blossoming and very fragrant pink trumpet tree to greet me. As
much of the world knows, she belly danced her way to global
megastardom in her 2006 duet with Wyclef Jean, Hips Dont Lie;
though the toned tummy and gyrating hips are, for the moment,
under wraps, it seems fitting that the gypsy queen should be in res-
idence in a palaceeven if its a rent-a- palace, NBC having taken
over the Langham Huntington hotel to promote its TV wares, in-
cluding the brightest bauble in its lineup, The Voice. Since the ad-
dition of Shakira and Usher as judge- coaches in its fourth season,
the show has become just about the most watched in America, and
addictively great television.
Shakira is in person what you might call drop-dead cute: The
nut-brown complexion with freckles, the famous mane of blond
hair, and the enormous brown eyes, combined with her petite size,
make her seem, at 36, more girlish than an entertainment mogul
could plaus ibly be. Three months after the birth of her first child
(a son, Milan), she has reclaimed her lithe figure, set off this after-
noon by skinny ankle-zip jeans and a mauve tie-dyed jersey with an
abstract pattern that she tells me right up front is part of the design
of the fabric. This is not Milans work, but he did vomit on me
earlier, she says with a musical laugh. It all blends in, it all works.
The eye goes instead to her chunky chain necklace, which termi-
nates in a black skull at about sternum level; a closer inspection
reveals that the chains are laced with tiny black diamonds. This
is a present from Gerard, she saysthat would be the ruggedly
handsome Spanish soccer star Gerard Piqu, 10 years her junior
and the father of Milan.
Shakira is from Colombias Caribbean coast, known for its
passionate, even mystical Catholicism, so Im more accustomed to
the cross necklaces Ive seen on her in photos. Is this tempting fate?
Yeah, I thought about that, she says. Im like, Hmmm
skulls. But superstition aside, its very rock n roll. A lot of people
wear skulls, and theyre not.
Dead? I offer.
Ultimately we all will be, she says, making a quick jump from
fashion to philosophy. Its a matter of timing.
O
kay, a little unpacking is in order here. The daughter of a Lebanese
jeweler father who set up shop in Barranquilla, Colombia, Sha-
kira Mebarak Ripoll had her first hit album in her home coun-
try, Pies Descalzos (bare feet), at 19, back in 1996, her rippling
alto voice freakishly mature and well mated to rocking out en espaol.
By the time she had her first U.S. hit album and singlewith 2001s
Laundry Service and Whenever, Whereverher image, as well as
her English, had evolved. Out went the straight dark hair and the
earnest, almost formal album photos; in came the wild, bottle-blond
tresses and the sultry come-hither body language. Her next, mostly
English-language album, Oral Fixation Vol. 2, gave us Hips Dont
Lie and a one-world musical palette so broad Middle Eastern
synth riffs on one track, Andean panpipes on anotherthat The
New York Times described her eclecticism, admir ingly, as nearly un-
hinged. She was globalization made flesh.
Her personal life had also jelled by the turn of the millennium.
She recorded and toured constantly, usually in the com pany of her
parents (I think that preserved me from all the dangers of show
business, she says) and her then boyfriend, Antonio de la Ra.
Their romance began in 2000 as a Latin American tempest in a
teapot: De la Ras father, Fernando, was in the middle of his brief,
scandal-ridden tenure as president of Argentina, and it was widely
considered unseemly, in a country wracked at the time by a profound
economic crisis, for his son to be cavorting around the world with
a pop star. In a memorable scene captured in a 2004 documentary
(for anyone who still buys CDs, its included in the estimable CD/
DVD package Shakira Live & Off the Record ), the singer badgers her
American manager to let her and the band confront the contro-
versy head-on and play a concert in Buenos Aires: Im the one
whos sweating like a pig every night on the friggin stage, she tells
him. (The scene tells you two things: Questions of moral honor cut
deep with her, and she learned vernacular American English very
quickly and quite well.)
The decadelong romance with De la Ra proved remarkably
stable. Antonio, my dad, and my mom, they are like the perfect
trinity, as she once described them. But its a measure of how much
her life has changed since the release almost four years ago of her
most recent English-language album, She Wolf, that De la Ra is
now suing her for a reported $250 million. He says he negotiated
her lucrative deal with the elite concert-touring operation Live
Nation and so is entitled to a major chunk of her earnings from
it. She argued in court not long ago that the suit should be thrown
outthat she had only given him a few limited business responsi-
bilities because at the time he had nothing much else to do. He is
persona non grata, Shakira says today, softly but bluntly. I mean,
he was a consultant like I have many consultants in my business.
He was never my manager, never my business partnerbut he also
made money from my business, which at the end of the day leaves
you wondering if the person is with you for what you are or if they
have an ulterior motive. Its very surprising that he would want
more money. And sad.
B
ut dont cry for Shakira, America. In just one season on The
Voice (shes planning to return to the show next spring), she has
become a disarmingly charming presence in our living rooms,
coaching the singers on Team Shakira, the best one of whom
goes up against the best of Team Adam (Levine), Team Blake (Shel-
ton), and Team Usher in a live finale airing June 18. (When I ask
Levine whether any of the coaches have a crush on Shakira, he says,
Cmon, is there anybody in the world who doesnt? For her part,
she says, In general, I think Ive treated the boys with mercy.)
Sonew show, new baby (Milan is a regular visitor to the set of The
Voice), and yes, newish man.
When I jokingly refer to Piqu as a member of Team Shakira,
shes quick to correct me: Well, first of all, Gerard is not Team
Shakira, hes Team Barcelona, and thats actually one of the health-
iest things about the relationship. He has his own world, and I know
that hes the one person who is with me not because of any interest
other than the love that unites us. Theres nothing that I can offer
him beyond my womanhooddoes that word exist in English?
I dont mean to sound cynical, but you used to say beautiful
things about Antonio, I venture.
Because, of course, I loved him. But love doesnt always come
with the full package. This time, it did. This time I smile with my
full smile, not with half of it like I used to. Its funnyGerard and
I were born on the same day, February 2. And we are so similar
in so many aspects of our personalities, even the dramatic aspects.
Spaniards are like Latinstheyre also very dramatic. Otherwise,
there wouldnt exist the Goyas of the world, or Garca Lorcas, those
amazing writers. For some reason, its in the DNA of the culture. So
we are two passionate people, and its a very passionate relation-
Shakiras new man, Gerard Piqu, undeterred by their age difference or the fact
that she was in a widely publicized relationship, told her, Im going to win the
World Cup just so I can see you one more time, at the closing ceremony.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 145
ship, but oddly enough theres a lot of harmony between us, even
though he comes from the sports world and I come from show busi-
ness and the arts.
Shakira has so mastered the art of apparently unself-conscious
confession, in her lyrics and in interviews, that the effect is
something like having coffee with a gorgeous classmate in your
creative-writing workshop, hanging on every word as she shares
the details of her latest romance. Shes always been that way,
her longtime drummer, Brendan Buckley, says. The biggest or
smallest thing that affects her throughout the dayif youre in her
inner circle, you feel it too. (Her 20 million Twitter followers get
a taste of this.)
Shakira nibbles at a little chocolate dessertone of her few vices.
My mother taught me to love sweets, she says. How much of a
curse it is! Then she tells me her love story. In 2010 she came up
with an infectious world-beat number, Waka Waka (This Time for
Africa), that she somehow knew would be the perfect theme song
for that years soccer World Cup, held in South Africa. For her video,
the tourneys organizers supplied a handful of star players, includ-
ing Piqu, a stalwart defender for FC Barcelona who was picked
for Spains national team. When he and Shakira met (for only the
second time) at the opening ceremonies, she says, Piqu, undeterred
by their age difference or the fact that she was in a widely publicized
long-term rela tionship, told her, Im going to win the World Cup
just so I can see you one more time, at the closing ceremony. And
he did win, and they are currently the champions of the world, and
you know I cant tell you any more details after that.
The Waka Waka video is less private: Its been viewed on
YouTube more than 524 million times, making it the seventh-most-
watched video on the site. A funny thing happened to Shakira when
she crossed over from being a strictly Latin pop star to one who
also sings in English: She began incorporating folkloric musical ele-
ments from not just Latin America but all over the mapand be-
came a global phenomenon. Paradoxical, she says. And lucrative:
Taking into account international sales, Hips Dont Lie is one of
the worlds best-selling singles since 2000.
These days, Shakiras life is centered in Barcelona, where Piqus
soccer schedule keeps him pinned down (hes like a soldier) and
the couple has a house. Only her zeal for meticulous logistics made
it possible for her to juggle The Voice, motherhood, and her romance
with Piqustill quite apparently in the ardent phase, which may
come as surprising news to every other woman in the world whos
ever cared for a small infant. Last fall Shakira shot the first few
months of The Voices preliminary blind audition rounds while
pregnant and, as she describes it, quite puffy. She was then able
to return to Spain and Piqu for a few months before coming back
to L.A. in early April to finish the show, with Milan in tow. The last
Voice shoots, culminating in the season finale, will require, she says,
six weeks away from home. That will be quite tough, because I
wont be able to see Gerard, she says. And he wont be able to see
his son. Its heartbreaking for both of us, becausewere so used to
being together all day long.
When asked about motherhood, Shakira doesnt resort to the
usual platitudes. Im still trying to figure it out. And I have a feel-
ing I will try to do the same for the rest of my life. Some people put
it like its very idyllic, some people put it like a torturing experience,
but its not quite one thing or the other. Its like lifeit comes with
everything. In Barcelona, family life, like everything else, appar-
ently, makes more sense. I cant say that I spend more time with
the baby than Gerard does. Hes so connected and involved. He
changes his diapers and loves to bathe him and read books to him.
What new things have you learned about love these past few
years? I ask. After all, since you were a teenager, its always been
your great subject in your music.
But not to write a thesis about. HmmmI think, if you can
prove the existence of God, it can only be proven through love. I
even had lost my faith for a while. I was becoming an agnostic. And
it was really hard, because I was always very religious, and for a few
years, maybe becauseit sounds so cornyI was not feeling the
love like it was supposed to be, I started to think that there was no
God. And suddenly I meet Gerard and the sun comes out. (That
would be the title of her most recent album, 2010s Sale El Sol, her
feelings for Piqu the lyrical torrent that runs through it.)
T
he next day brings a shift of gears and scenethe NBC studios
in Burbank, California, where Shakira is coaching four of her
Team Shakira singers. The caf philosopher is on vacation; so
is the world human itarian whose Fundacin Pies Descalzos,
run in Bogot by a former minister of education, has built and now
operates six schools in impoverished and often dangerous parts of
Colombia. (With President Obama, I basically have a job in the
White House, Shakira also mentions nonchalantly. I consult on
his initiative for educational excellence for Hispanics.)
This afternoon, Shakira the musical craftswoman is at work.
On The Voice broadcasts, these sessions will be edited down to one-
minute bits that precede the singers performances, but witnessed
in real time theyre a series of marvelously intense 15-to-30-minute
master classes that could be put into a time capsule labeled This
was how pop music was made in 2013. Its the shows breakthrough
concept: Good pop requires hard workas opposed to the effective
takeaway of American Idol, that music is something that occasionally
breaks out between diva tiffs.
Inside the barnlike Studio 11, Shakira raps her fist on contestant
Garrett Gardners piano to get his attention. I need this perfor-
mance to be vehe ment, she instructs him. Its a bit surprising that
Gardner is still in the competition at this late datehes only 17, and
last year he didnt even make it past the blind auditions. But she sees
something in hima latent vocal sexiness that she has compared to
that of the Doors Jim Morrison. (She should know: Post- Morrison,
few have rocked tight leather pants onstage with more panache than
Shakira.) For Gardners next performance on the show, shes picked
John Lennons Imagine, not a rocker of a song but one that has to
smolder with intensity to get across. You can pause there, she tells
Gardner, whos already run through the tune about three times. Its
cool when the artist takes a momentthe piano and the world wait
for me. Dont worry, its not blas phemy. He [Lennon] would be very
proud, wherever he is. A few days later, Brendan Buckley tells me,
Thats how she creates music, by digging in and doing it over and
over again until its right.
I
n her own work, her perfectionism in the service of such a huge
stylistic range can be a mixed blessing. Take, for example, 2009s
She Wolf, which explored a thin line between cutting-edge Euro-
influenced dance music and good-natured kitsch. What for
another artist might have been merely a trendy commercial proj-
ect was for Shakira, she says, a sublimation of my fantasies about
being a sexy beast on the prowl for a man. (Im not sure De la Ra
could have missed the import of lyrics like these: Im starting to
feel just a little abused/ like a coffee machine in an office/ So Im
gonna go somewhere cozy to get me a lover and tell/ you all about
it.) The She Wolf video celebrates liberated womanhood with
Shakiras escape from a metal cage and a walk through a giant pul-
sating vagina. (Its not a vagina, she protests. Its a tunnel thats
made of lava, just to psychologically mess with your mind.)
I pull out the CD booklet of She Wolf, with its portrait of Shakira
as feral female id. The beast has been tamed, she says, laughing,
as we behold it. Im a domestic wolf now. But not in the studio, she
says. Shes recording tracks indiscriminately whenever she can
grab some studio time, in L.A., Barcelona, or the Bahamas, where
she still owns propertya leftover from the De la Ra era. I have
no idea of where I want to go musically, but Im free that way. I dont
need to remain faithful to any concept, you know.
146 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Fringed leather poncho, Tom
Ford, price on request, call
212-359-0300. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
Hair by Enzo Angileri for Cloutier
Remix; makeup by Polly Osmond
for Nars Cosmetics at Exposure
NY; manicure by Ashlie Johnson
for Chanel at The Wall Group;
set design by Steve Halterman
at Stardust Vision; on-set
production by Tyler Duuring at
Portfolio One; fashion assistant:
Sarah Schussheim
w w w. e l l e. c o m 147
Right: Plaid silk lam shirt,
$895, wool shorts, $595,
leather belt, price on
request, fox-fur boa, $3,500,
all, Marc Jacobs, at Marc
Jacobs, NYC. White diamond
earrings, Ana Khouri, price
on request. Leather shoes,
Churchs, $530. Far right:
Wool flannel blouse, wool
flannel pants with fur belt,
all, Carolina Herrera, prices
on request, at Carolina
Herrera, Bal Harbour, FL.
Leather shoes, Christian
Louboutin, $895.
148 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Ribbed sweater, $925, tube
skirt, $795, metal belt, $595,
shoes, $795, all, Michael
Kors, at select Michael Kors
stores nationwide. Stone-
trimmed necklace, Maison
Martin Margiela, $995. For
details, see Shopping Guide.
LEAVE IT TO THE CITY THAT NEVER
SLEEPS TO EPITOMIZE CLEAN,
CLASSIC AMERICAN DESIGN. HERE,
WE SALUTE SOME OF NEW YORKS
TOP TALENTS AND THEIR FRESH
TAKES ON SPORTSWEAR
PHOTOGRAPHED BY L I Z COL L I NS STYLED BY SAMI R A NASR
NEW
YORKS
FINEST
www. e l l e. c o m 149
Wool poncho, $1,095, silk
turtleneck bodysuit, $795, silk
pants, $895, all, Donna Karan
New York, at Donna Karan New
York stores nationwide. Pink
gold twin ring, Repossi, price
on request. Yellow gold ring,
Michelle Fantaci from Stone
& Strand, $2,204. Brass square
ring, Jennifer Fisher, $140.
Suede-and-feather boots,
Pierre Hardy, $1,495.
150 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Far left: Wool boucl cape,
$2,250, silk georgette
dress, price on request,
both, Derek Lam, at
Derek Lam, NYC. Silver
ball-trim necklace, Maison
Martin Margiela, $890.
Leather shoes, Churchs,
$530. Left: Snap-closure
coat, price on request,
coat with attached vest,
$899, wool faille pants,
$349, all, Tommy Hilfiger,
at Tommy Hilfiger, NYC.
Silver and pav diamond
rings, Monica Vinader,
$470 each. Sneakers,
Adidas Originals. For
details, see Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 151
Right: Guipure lace top,
$595, cropped kimono-
sleeve jacket, $995,
origami-fold skirt, $695,
all, Vera Wang Collection,
at Vera Wang, NYC. 1960s
Cartier ear clips (worn as
brooches) and brooch, from
FD Gallery, NYC, price
on request. Suede pumps,
Gianvito Rossi, $765. Far
right: Beaded satin dress,
Narciso Rodriguez, price
on request, collection at
Ikram, Chicago. White
diamond, malachite, and
black gold peacock-feather
earring, Ana Khouri, price
on request. Suede pumps,
Gianvito Rossi, $765.
Beauty Secret: Red lips
make a modern statement
when paired with bare skin
and lashes. To get the look,
try Maybelline New York
Colorsensational Lipcolor in
Red Revival.
152 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Silk and cashmere
turtleneck, $1,298, wool
pants, $1,798, suede boots,
$1,450, all, Ralph Lauren
Collection, at select Ralph
Lauren stores nationwide.
Pink gold ear clip, Repossi,
price on request. Yellow
gold watch, Cartier, price
on request. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 153
Alpaca flared-waist top,
$1,895, leather pants, $995,
leather and metal belt,
$1,360, all, Calvin Klein
Collection, at Calvin Klein
Collection, NYC. Leather
gloves, LaCrasia Gloves,
$225. Leather shoes,
Churchs, $530.
154 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Woven leather jacket, wrap
skirt, sleeveless chain-mail
top, prices on request,
leather clutch, $1,150,
leather pumps, $945, all,
Proenza Schouler, at
Proenza Schouler, NYC. For
details, see Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 155
Beaded wool sweater, wool
pants, prices on request,
calf-hair mules, $795, all,
Alexander Wang, similar
styles at Alexander Wang,
NYC. White gold and
turquoise ear clip, Repossi,
price on request.
156 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Hair by Kevin Ryan for R Session
Tools; makeup by Polly Osmond for
Nars Cosmetics; manicure by Gina
Edwards for Chanel at Kate Ryan
Inc.; casting by The Establishment;
models: Lin Kjerulf and Elena
Melnik at Next Model Management;
fashion assistant: Pipi Loose
Right: Scoop-neck top, price on
request, stretch-viscose skirt,
$1,050, both, Altuzarra, visit
altuzarra.com. Leather boots,
Gianvito Rossi for Altuzarra,
$3,090. Silver rings, Patricia
von Musulin, $1,100$1,200. Far
right: Grain de poudre sleeveless
jacket, $2,490, skirt, $990,
leather gloves, price on request,
all, Oscar de la Renta, visit
oscardelarenta.com. Leather
boots, Gianvito Rossi for
Altuzarra, $1,195. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 157
THE BOLDEST SCENE-STEALER
IN SOFIA COPPOLAS NEW
BASED-ON-TRUE-EVENTS HEIST
FILM THE BLING RING? THE
REAL-LIFE HOME OF EVER-
SPARKLY PARIS HILTON. HERE,
THROUGH THE DIRECTORS
LENS, AN INTIMATE LOOK AT
HILTON IN HER PERSONAL (AND
PERSONALIZED) HABITAT
PHOTOGRAPHED BY SOF I A COPP OL A
STYLED BY S TACE Y BAT TAT
FORGET
VERSAILLES
Silk crepe de chine shirt,
$3,920, pants, price on
request, both, Rochas,
collection at thecorner.com.
For details, see Shopping Guide.
158 www. e l l e. c o m
w w w. e l l e. c o m 159
160 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Far left, on Hiltons dog:
Diamond necklace set in
platinum, Harry Winston,
price on request, call 800-
988-4110. Above, on Hilton:
Silk-blend dress, Valentino,
$4,390, at Valentino
boutiques nationwide.
Leather pumps, Nina Ricci,
$825. Gold necklace, Van
Cleef & Arpels, price on
request. Gold and ceramic
link bracelet, Verdura, price
on request. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 161
I
ts a surprising pairing, to say the least: Oscar winner Sofia Cop-
pola and socialite Paris Hilton, collaborating on a photo shoot for
ELLE. One woman lives part-time in Paris with her husband and
two children. The other lives full-time in Parislanda Beverly
Hills shrine of her own making, where photographs of her famous
face adorn pillows, oil portraits of her visage cover the walls, and
a picture of Hilton hangs across from Hiltons bed. Coppola recalls
the first time she visited that pink-and-gold dream home. I saw the
pillows, the director says with real affection, and I took my picture
with them. Shes such a pop icon and has a sense of humor about
herself. I think she was the first to really make herself into a brand.
Shes so dedicated to her style.
That style is, in a way, the cornerstone of Coppolas latest film,
The Bling Ringa true-crime heist flick about a pack of L.A. teenag-
ers who, from October 2008 through August 2009, broke into the
homes of stars, including Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Megan Fox,
while their owners were away, fleecing them of cash, clothing, and
jewelry totaling some $3 million. The young thieves hit Hiltons
home five timespopping bottles in her club room, playing dress-
up in her closetbefore she noticed anything was missing. After
their arrests, they testified that theyd targeted Hilton first because
who would be so dumb as to leave her front door unlocked? (Ac-
tually, she left the key under the mat.)
The film is vintage Coppola, with spot-on music cues and razor-
sharp dialogue. Imagine Elle Fannings character from Some-
whereif shed grown up in the Valley, with no moral compass and
a love for Herv Lger. In Coppolas deft hands, the story becomes
something more than tabloid fodder: Its a serious, and seriously
funny, meditation on fame, a Gen-X filmmaker training her lens
on Gen TMZnot to condemn, but to see what makes that cohort
tick. Tabloid culture is fun, and were all drawn to really indulge
it, Coppola says, but we didnt grow up with that. Or with social
media. Which is to say, we still dont know the full effects of either
on a crop of kids who cant remember life before the Kardashians.
(Is it just us, or does 2008 feel borderline Mesozoic?) Coppola, 42,
pinpoints a revealing scene in the film, in which the teenagers find
a gun in Megan Foxs house: Theyre so young, and they dont
realize what theyre dealing with. I dont think theyve thought
about the consequences. She stops short of saying she sympathizes
with them, but she does believe the story is more a cautionary tale
than a celebration of greed.
The film stars Emma Watson, American Horror Storys Taissa
Farmiga, and newcomer Katie Chang as the teen bandits, and it has
more than a whiff of vrit: Coppola spent two days shooting inside
Hiltons actual home, sneaking a skeleton crew past the guards at
the socialites gated community (where filming is not permitted).
While there was serious work to be done, Coppola admits she and
the cast couldnt help but revel in Hiltons signature excess: the
toddler-size Little Mermaid figurines by the pool; the six-foot-tall
dollhouse for Paris five puppies to play in; the pink Bentley in the
driveway. When you see her shoe closet, Coppola says, every-
body freaks out.
Its tempting to think of The Bling Ring as a story about a victim-
less crimestealing from the rich to give to the poorly dressed
but when Hilton talks about the irreplaceable gold-and-diamond
Cartier watch, a gift from her late grandmother that is now long
gone, you cant help feeling a twinge of sympathy. I only got back,
like, literally an entire Louis Vuitton duffel bag full of all my cos-
tume jewelry that I could care less about, Hilton says. At the time,
Hilton, Lohan, and fellow victim Audrina Patridge discussed the
thefts: We were like, This is crazy! Hilton says. But shes never
met any of the perpetrators, most of whom served some amount of
jail time. (Ringleader Rachel Lee, played by Chang and called Re-
becca in the film, was sentenced to four years for first-degree resi-
dential burglary.) I dont know what Id do if I saw them, Hilton
says. Im not a confrontational person. But I would literally be like,
You guys need serious help. And I want my stuff back.
Today, Hilton would rather talk about the album shes finish-
ing up or the opening of her forty-fourth (forty-fourth!) Paris Hil-
ton clothing store, a beacon for teenage girls at malls around the
globe. Or the Paris Beach Club in the Philippines, which will open
in 2014. Real estate is in my blood, she says. Pressed about the
film, she says she hopes viewers learn a lesson: Theres much more
to life than all of these possessions and everything. And if you want
those things, youre gonna have to work yourself, just like I did.
Coppola, too, hopes viewers leave the theater contemplating the
dangers of our instant-gratification-obsessed culture. But if nothing
else, she says, When people see it, everyone wants a Paris pillow.
We might have to make those.Mickey Rapkin
162 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Cotton-and-silk-blend dress,
Dries Van Noten, $1,665,
similar styles available
at Capitol, Charlotte, NC.
Stretch-polyamide bikini
bottom, Prism, $117.
Sunglasses, Anna-Karin
Karlsson, $630. Rose gold
bracelet, Lana Jewelry,
price on request. Metal,
glass pearl, and crystal
bracelet, Miriam Haskell,
$320. Satin pumps, Marc
Jacobs, $1,995. For details,
see Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 163
Cable-knit sweater, Nonoo,
$595, collection at Neiman
Marcus stores nationwide.
Linen shorts, Veronica
Beard, $450. Gold and
ceramic link bracelet,
Verdura, price on request.
Patent leather pumps, Oscar
de la Renta, $695.
164 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Above: Silk shirt, Marc
Jacobs, $3,500, at Marc
Jacobs, NYC. Left: Jewel-
embellished velvet top,
Dolce & Gabbana, price
on request, at select Dolce
& Gabbana boutiques
nationwide. Cotton shorts,
Black Fleece by Brooks
Brothers, $275. For details,
see Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 165
166 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Crinoline dress, Simone
Rocha, $2,090, collection at
Ikram, Chicago. Stretch-
polyamide bikini top, $203,
bottom, $117, both, Prism.
Patent leather and velvet
ankle boots, Valentino
Garavani, $975. Her own
sunglasses. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
Hair by Cervando Maldonado
at The Wall Group; makeup
by Pati Dubroff at The Wall
Group; manicure by Nettie
Davis for Chanel Beaute; prop
styling by Juliet Jernigan
at CLM; on-set production
by Caroline Batiste; fashion
assistant: Sarah Schussheim
w w w. e l l e. c o m 167
Guipure and silk dress,
Valentino, price on request,
at Valentino boutiques
nationwide. Embellished
velvet ankle boots,
Valentino Garavani, $1,545.
KATE MARA TAKES A BREAK FROM
CHASING CAPITOL HILL INTRIGUES ON
HOUSE OF CARDS TO COZY UP TO THE
SEASONS MOST COVETABLE PIECES
PHOTOGRAPHED BY CE DRI C BUCHE T STYLED BY SABI NA SCHRE DE R
HOUSE
RULES
168 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Tulle blouse, crepe dress,
prices on request, chain
necklace, $3,100, all,
Chanel, call 800-550-
0005. Wool hat, Rag &
Bone, $175. For details,
see Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 169
Wool coat, Dior, price
on request, at Dior
boutiques nationwide.
170 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Silk crepe blouse, $1,998,
cotton bib, $598, silk tie,
$198, wool pants, $1,298, all,
Ralph Lauren Collection, at
select Ralph Lauren stores
nationwide. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 171
Silk evening gown, Donna
Karan New York, $3,895, at
Donna Karan New York stores
nationwide. Brass link chain,
Jennifer Fisher, $3,735. White
diamond pav ring, Monique
Pan, price on request.
Crocodile boots, Reed Krakoff,
price on request.
172 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Cotton dress, $2,065,
knit sweater, $710, both,
Prada, at select Prada
boutiques nationwide.
Goggles, Michael Kors,
price on request. White
diamond pav ring,
Monique Pan, price on
request. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 173
Beaded silk blouse,
price on request, silk
velvet skirt, $2,845,
both, Giorgio Armani,
at Giorgio Armani,
NYC. Leather loafers,
Michael Kors, $350.
174 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Quilted cotton coat, OMO
Norma Kamali, $1,250,
visit normakamali.com.
Jeans, J Brand, $216.
White diamond pav ring,
Monique Pan, price on
request. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 175
Wool felt bandeau top, $895,
pants, $1,895, both, Calvin
Klein Collection, at Calvin
Klein Collection, NYC. Wool
hat, Rag & Bone, $175. Bronze
triple-knot collar, Aesa,
$545. Brass bangle, AERIN
Erickson Beamon, $90.
176 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Laminated silk jersey dress,
Versace, price on request, call
888-721-7219. Bronze triple-
knot collar, Aesa, $545. White
diamond pav ring, Monique
Pan, price on request. Brass
chain-mail cuffs, Jennifer
Fisher, $750 each. Brass
bangles, AERIN Erickson
Beamon, $90 each. For
details, see Shopping Guide.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 177
Silk lace-trim dress, Louis
Vuitton, price on request, at
select Louis Vuitton stores
nationwide. Silk head scarf,
Echo, $58. Bronze triple-knot
collar, Aesa, $545. White
diamond pav ring, Monique
Pan, price on request.
178 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Techno felted wool blazer,
Michael Kors, $1,550, at
select Michael Kors stores
nationwide. Wool hat, Rag
& Bone, $175. For details, see
Shopping Guide.
Hair by Maranda at The Wall
Group; makeup by Rachel
Goodwin for Chanel at The Wall
Group; manicure by Stephanie
Stone for Nailing Hollywood; prop
styling by Douglas for Philipp
Haemmerle; fashion assistant:
Natasha Devereux; production by
Joy Asbury Productions
M
uch has been made of Kate Maras girl-next-door qualities. In
brief: Shes a doe-eyed, freckled beauty, raised surrounded by
farms in small-town Bedford, New York; a scion of Steelers/
Giants royalty who actually loves the NFL. But it was one of
the 30-year-olds lesser-known attributes that grabbed the attention
of director David Fincherher drive. I admired how she managed
to make ambition attractive. She just has a very winning way and
great charm in the way that she couches her ambitions, says Fincher,
who cast her in House of Cards, Netflixs first scripted seriesand his
own television directorial debutas Zoe Barnes, a byline-hungry
journalist entangled in a racy bedroom/boardroom partnership
with Kevin Spaceys Machiavellian politician.
There is a real effort to give the women in this show something
substantial, says Spacey. Theyre not window dressing. Zoe might
start off as Bambi in the claws of Godzilla, as Fincher puts it, but
by the end of season one, shes turned the tables and proven herself
a master manipulator. (Stay tuned: Season two just began filming.)
Zoes willingness to do whatever it takes is something to which
Mara can relate: At nine, she began acting in community theater
and leaving notes on her parents pillows asking them to get her
an agent. When she was 14, they caved. Two years after she made
her debut at the Williamstown Theatre Festival, in Massachusetts,
Mara ran away with the end of Ang Lees Brokeback Mountain, as
the daughter of Heath Ledgers character. In 2010 she provided a
much-needed moment of effervescence in the otherwise grizzly 127
Hours. And the following year she pulled a convincing 180, playing
a psychotic mistress on FXs American Horror Story.
Maras little sister, Rooney, whom Fincher directed in The Social
Network and The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, had a hand in her House
of Cards casting: When I described the character, Rooney laughed
and told me, Youre going to end up casting my sister, Fincher
recounts. After two rounds of auditions, Mara had won over the
director but still had to convince Spacey, who admits hed harbored
suspicions of nepotism. By the end of the shows first table read-
ing, however, the actor was eating out of her hand. I find shes a
formidable actress of immense powerand brilliantly funny, says
Spacey, who got acquainted with her wicked sense of humor dur-
ing a love scene when Mara disrobed to revealsurprise!a set of
pasties bearing Spaceys own face. (He managed not to laugh, so for
the reshoot, she switched things up with a different pair bearing the
POTUSs mug.)
Whats it like when the younger sister who followed you out to
Hollywood becomes an Oscar nominee? Mara says she gets the
question a lot these days. People want it to be much more compli-
cated than it is, she says. Family is family, a career is a career. We
both plan on acting for a really long time. We have different paths.
Plus, were both more concerned with beating ourselves up than
competing with each other.Allison P. Davis
w w w. e l l e. c o m 179
Leather bag with PVC flowers, Fendi, $2,450, collection at select
Neiman Marcus stores nationwide.
Mink-trimmed leather and suede sandal, Giuseppe Zanotti Design, $1,095,
visit giuseppezanottidesign.com.
TO SHARE OR NOT TO SHARE? WELL, THATS UP TO YOU.
THE SEASONS MOST LIKE-WORTHY ACCESSORIES
STAND OUT IN INSTAGRAMS ADDICTIVE FORMAT
PHOTOGRAPHED BY I L AN RUBI N STYLED BY JOANN PAI L E Y
INSTANT
LOVE
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o
d
s

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:

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180 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Jeweled-toe slingbacks, Bruno Magli, $1,195 per pair, visit net-a-porter.com.
Satin-and-lace pump with velvet bow and jeweled heel, Louis Vuitton,
price on request, call 866-VUITTON.
Napa leather bag, Bottega Veneta, $2,250, visit bottegaveneta.com.
For details, see Shopping Guide.
Suede-and-lace sandal with patent leather trim, Jimmy Choo, $795,
visit jimmychoo.com. Python clutch, Salvatore Ferragamo, price on
request, call 866-337-7242.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 181
182 w w w. e l l e. c o m
they seemed to make value judgments about
good and bad sex. Although I firmly be-
lieved that people could happily and healthily
engage in BDSM, I was sure that my parents
would consider it harmful, even if consensual.
I
t was after Thanksgiving dinner, spent in my
parents living room with a rented hospital
bed acting as the proverbial elephant in the
room, that I began to crave more violence.
When I got home, I arranged to go to Mikes
and then sent a timid text: Be rough with me?
He responded within seconds: Done.
I was asking him to take it to the next level,
without knowing what exactly that meant. I
didnt have anything in particular in mind: I
was more curious about how far hed go. I al-
ready felt at the whim of an indifferent universe,
with no choice about my moms illness. But giv-
ing Mike permission to do what he would with
me was different. There was something com-
forting about surrendering to controlled chaos.
As BDSM practitioners like to say, submission is
about control: The bottom sets limits and calls
the shots. I wasnt following the rules of careful
negotiation and boundary setting, but the prin-
ciple held, to an extent.
As soon as I stepped into his bedroom, he
pulled me down by my hair and slammed
me against the side of the mattress. Whos in
charge here? You think youre in charge?
I looked him in the eyes and coquettishly
nodded, Uh-huh.
He lightly grazed my face with the tips of
his fingers and I laughed, telling him to do it
harderand he did. It was the first time Id ever
been slapped in the face. It was a stunning tres-
pass against my bodymore than any other
part of me, my face was me. The broad smack
reminded me of the most sickening, inexcusable
cases of domestic violenceand sexism, more
generallybut Id asked for it. From my feminist
perspective, this was pretty transgressiveand it
was thrilling, if not pleasurable.
Before we finished, he did it again, slapped
my face three times in quick succession. It felt
like Buddhist meditation with a twist of S&M:
Smack-smack-smack. Be here now. There was just
my skin and his hand, nothing more.
Afterward, while I was lying in the nook of
his arm, he offered, So, Im guessing Thanks-
giving was hard. Yeah, I said with a wry
laugh. It was a reminder of how little time is
left. My throat closed up on the last few words,
and as he traced the ridges of my ear with his
finger, I hoped he didnt feel the tears falling
onto his chest.
Mike tried to rescue me by satisfying my
need for morebut all the time he worried that
it was too much. Once, he grabbed my face,
looked me straight on, and said with concern:
Wait. Is this okay?
Yes, its okay, I replied, exasperated. I
didnt want to thinkabout what it meant,
about whether it truly was okayI just wanted
to feel. Its exactly what I want.
Nonetheless, after seeing him I often left
feeling used, abused, and alone. He was a no-
torious cad, but I harbored the pathetic hope
that Id be the one to change him. Id shown
him the depths of my pain, but it made no dif-
ference. That, it seemed, reinforced the cruelty
of the world, the irrelevance of my grief. The
feeling was amplified by my concurrent ex-
ploits with other men: I sought out guys who
we have sex will make less of a mark. So when
we review the decades, the ones that were full of
the new will seem to have taken up more time
than others.
Memory not only adds richness to our
lives, it also allows us to think about the fu-
ture. The minds of people whove sustained
injuries to the areas of the brain that create
memories are often as blank going forward
as back. Neuroscientists theorize that our
pictures of the future are actually made up of
memorieslike a new film we splice together
from old scenes. Future thinking can both be
fun (anticipating your next vacation or how
great Thanksgiving dinner will be) and a ne-
cessity for functioning (you cant arrange a
vacation or cook a turkey without the ability
to plan). But spending all our time thinking
or worryingabout tomorrow is also one of
the ways we turn our years into one blurry
sludge.
This is a point that hits home for me: Im
guessing I pretty much nailed this angsting-
about-the-passing-of-time thing the first time
I went out for a run and found myself sobbing
when Joni Mitchell started warbling The
Circle Game over my iPod. Im not going to
create a lot of new memories doing that over
and over (I may, however, develop an inter-
esting reputation in my neighborhood).
The goal, then, is to find the right balance
of forming memories, making the most of the
present, and shaping a splendid future. You
dont want your days to slip by without your
noticing, but you also dont want to slow time
to a standstill. Studies show that, from minute
to minute, time is decelerated most by trau-
matic events: being terrified, imprisoned, or
very ill; listening to the sound of a woman sob-
bing; or looking at pictures of mutilated bod-
iesnot exactly the stuff of a life well spent.
But finding your bliss isnt enough to stave
off boredom and the befogging of years. Tele-
vision, video games, and Web surfing, for
example, though pleasurable, have caused
research participants to lose subjective time
(they underestimate the minutes or hours
they spent in front of a screen). And a study
of British expats who took off for a life of lei-
sure in the south of France found that once the
subjects finished working on their new houses,
they actually became less happy than theyd
been in the workaday grind in England. (Re-
cently, in the throes of my time-lament, I told
a friend that I worried I was wasting too much
of my life renovating apartments and houses,
and she shrugged and said, The secret to life
is thats all there is. You decorate, then you
redecorate, and then you die.)
Hammond instead suggests we first stop
stressing out about time so much. In fact, we
have more free time than our forefathers did:
five hours, six minutes a day of leisure time
for the average American woman; five hours,
48 minutes for men . And then we should
develop an energetic timetable, injecting as
much of the unfamiliar into our days as possi-
ble: Vacation in a variety of places, plan out-
ings for Saturday and Sunday, take unusual
routes to the office, throw parties, try exotic
foods, learn new skills, and generally follow
the advice of the nineteenth-century phi-
losopher Jean-Marie Guyau, who said that to
lengthen time, Fill it, if you have the chance,
with a thousand new things.
them up to the right monitor or poor color
correction on a picture (she worked briefly
in the photo department of a magazine after
college), perceived stress and objective stress
have the exact same physiological response.
Thats pretty sobering, and good incentive for
guring out when we might be losing perspec-
tive at work, self-dramatizing so that every
spreadsheet feels incredibly urgent.
One method to cultivate healthy stress
yes, theres a good kind; it gets us fired up so
we can connect with the intricacies of chal-
lenging assignmentsis to revisit the origi-
nal reasons we chose the job we did. True,
every occupation has a certain degree of
drudgeryand in jobs where workers have
limited freedom, the paycheck might, at
least initially, be the main motivation. Still,
almost everyone, at one point or another, ex-
periences pleasure knowing his or her labor
has benefited someone else. And once youve
rediscovered the sense that your work has
meaning, Ekman says, it can really get you
through a lot of the bullshit of the everyday
dealing with cases or clients, or, in the case of
the juvenile prison guards, kids who are giv-
ing you attitude.
During an all-day session on burnout pre-
vention (an abbreviated version of her prison
intervention) Ekman gave to a group of visibly
stressed-out, iPhone-punching trial lawyers, I
saw this principle in practice. When she asked
the participants why they became attorneys
in the first place, various among them cited
a calling to help children, immigrants, and
the elderlypeople who were powerless to
help themselves, as one woman put it, her
voice suddenly cracking with emotion. As I
watched, I saw them, I swear, straightening up
in their seats. They look focused, optimistic,
proud, andfinallyrevived.
M
any of Ekmans ER colleagues, as well
as the San Mateo prison guards shes
worked with, handle their professional re-
sponsibilities with amazing competency,
she says, as if helping is ballet for theman ex-
perience that seems to lift them off the ground
and, in a sense, inoculate them from burnout.
Still, Ekman has observed in these empathetic
superstars a few practical habits we can all try
to emulate.
Rather than expecting to sustain total focus
on others throughout the day, they express
concern efficiently, like a muscleusing only
as much emotional energy as the moment re-
quires. Plus, these people are also very aware
of their limits and dont apologize for them:
They know when its time to withdraw and not
look back.
Women, still typically the primary caregivers
at work and home, can have an especially diffi-
cult time setting boundaries. Self-compassion is
crucial for empathy, says Ekman, who, on days
when she saw patients die, established an after-
work routine of jumping on her bike and riding
straight to the beach to spend the evening watch-
ing the sun set. But self-care means different
things to different people, she says, so the task is
to figure out what soothes and restores you. You
need to be taking care of yourself, so you can
relax enough to see whats really happening with
others, to know cognitively what you can do to
help. If youre stressed and burned-out, you cant
think about anyone else.
ELLE
SEXUAL HEALING
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 127
IT

S LATER THAN YOU THINK


CONTINUED FROM PAGE 96
HOW TO LOVE YOUR WORK
CONTINUED FROM PAGE 118
COVERS
Silk blend top by Versace, $1,325, at select Versace boutiques
nationwide, call 888-721-7219. Viscose blend shorts by Diane
von Furstenberg, $245, visit dvf.com. Link bracelets by David
Yurman, $850$5,400, visit davidyurman.com. Necklace
by Aldo Cipullo from FD Gallery, NYC, $31,500, call 212-
772-2440 or visit fd-inspired.com.
THE LOOK
Page 61: Coat by Balenciaga, $9,200, similar styles at
Balenciaga (NYC). Trousers by Balenciaga, at Balenciaga
(NYC). Pumps by Balenciaga, collection at Neiman Marcus
stores nationwide.
TRENDS AND ACCESSORIES
Page 62: Jacket by Christopher Kane, collection at Bergdorf
Goodman (NYC). Shoes by Christopher Kane, for similar
styles, visit saks.com. Jacket by Michael Kors, at select
Michael Kors stores nationwide, visit michaelkors.com.
Sunglasses by Super, at Ilori stores nationwide, visit
store.retrosuperfuture.com. Page 66: Blazer, skirt, gloves,
pumps, vest by Marc Jacobs, at Marc Jacobs (NYC), call
212-343-1490 or visit marcjacobs.com. Clutch by Tommy
Hilfiger, similar styles at Tommy Hilfiger (NYC). Cuff links
by David Webb, $11,400, at David Webb (NYC, Beverly
Hills), call 310-858-8006 or visit davidwebb.com. Watch
by Bulgari, $28,300, at Bulgari stores nationwide, visit
bulgari.com. Shoe by Bally, at Bally (NYC). Page 70: Bag
by Prada, at select Prada boutiques nationwide. Bag by
Charlotte Olympia, visit charlotteolympia.com. Page 72:
Necklace by Balenciaga, at Balenciaga (NYC).
WORKBOOK: POLITICS OF STYLE
Page 76: Sandals by Jimmy Choo, at select Jimmy Choo
stores nationwide, visit jimmychoo.com. Jacket by O2nd
Barneys New York, at Barneys New York. Blazer by Bebe, at
Bebe stores nationwide. Dress by Nicole Miller Artelier, at
Nicole Miller boutiques nationwide.
ELLE SHOPS
Page 83: Bracelets by Lele Sadoughi, collection at Fivestory
(NYC), select Alice + Olivia stores nationwide, Alene Too
(Boca Raton, FL). Page 86: Sheepskin coat, $5,950, striped
skirt, $7,500, leather skirt, $5,050, by Marco de Vincenzo, visit
marcodevincenzo.com. Page 88: Bags by Michael Kors,
$5,000 each, call 212-452-4685.
ACT NATURALLY
Page 139: Link bracelet by David Yurman, $7,600, visit
davidyurman.com. Gold nail bracelet by Aldo Cipullo for
Cartier from FD Gallery, NYC, $33,000, call 212-772-2440
or visit fd-inspired.com.
SHAKIRAS PRIME TIME
Pages 140141: Poncho by Tom Ford, call 212-359-0300.
Pump by Jimmy Choo, call 866-524-6687 or visit jimmychoo
.com. Pages 142143: Dress by Ralph Lauren Collection,
visit ralphlauren.com. Page 144: Bracelets by David
Yurman, visit davidyurman.com. Bracelets by Chrome
Hearts, at Chrome Hearts (NYC), visit chromehearts.com.
Page 147: Poncho by Tom Ford, at Tom Ford (NYC).
NEW YORKS FINEST
Page 148: Shirt, shorts, belt, boa by Marc Jacobs, call
212-343-1490 or visit marcjacobs.com. Earrings by Ana Khouri,
$28,400, visit net-a-porter.com. Shoes by Churchs, visit church-
footwear.com. Blouse, pants, belt by Carolina Herrera, at Carolina
Herrera (NYC; Bal Harbour, FL; Dallas; L.A.), call 323-782-
9090. Shoes by Christian Louboutin, at Christian Louboutin
(Las Vegas), call 702-818-8444. Page 149: Sweater, skirt, belt,
shoes by Michael Kors, call 866-709-KORS or visit michaelkors
.com. Collar by Maison Martin Margiela, at Maison Martin
Margiela (NYC, Miami, L.A.). Page 150: Ring by Repossi,
$6,725, collection at Barneys New York, The Webster (Miami),
Capitol Charlotte (Charlotte, NC). Ring by Michelle Fantaci
from Stone & Strand, call 855-775-3935 or visit stoneandstrand
.com. Ring by Jennifer Fisher, call 888-255-0640 or visit
jenniferfisherjewelry.com. Boots by Pierre Hardy, visit estore
.pierrehardy.com. Page 151: Collar by Maison Martin Margiela,
at Maison Martin Margiela (NYC, Miami, L.A.). Shoes by
Churchs, visit church-footwear.com. Coats, pants by Tommy
Hilfiger, call 212-223-1824. Rings by Monica Vinader, visit
monicavinader.com. Sneakers by Adidas Originals, visit adidas
.com/originals. Page 152: Ear clips, brooch from FD Gallery,
NYC, $17,500, call 212-772-2440 or visit fd-inspired.com.
Pumps by Gianvito Rossi, visit gianvitorossi.com. Earrings by
Ana Khouri, $20,950, collection at Fivestory (NYC). Page 153:
Sweater, pants, boots by Ralph Lauren Collection, visit ralphlauren
.com. Ear clip by Repossi, collection at Barneys New York, Elle
Rose of Sun Valley (Sun Valley, ID), Louis Boston (Boston).
Watch by Cartier, $9,300, at Cartier boutiques nationwide,
call 800-CARTIER or visit cartier.com. Page 154: Top, pants,
belt by Calvin Klein Collection, call 212-292-9000. Gloves by
LaCrasia Gloves, call 212-686-5428 or visit lacrasiagloves
.com. Shoes by Churchs, visit church-footwear.com. Page 155:
Jacket, $9,000, skirt, $9,000, top, $7,365, clutch, pumps by
Proenza Schouler, call 212-585-3200. Page 156: Sweater, pants,
mules by Alexander Wang, visit alexanderwang.com. Earrings
by Repossi, collection at Opening Ceremony (NYC, L.A.),
Oxygene Boutique (Bal Harbour, FL), Curve (San Francisco).
Page 157: Skirt by Altuzarra, collection at Bergdorf Goodman
(NYC). Boots by Gianvito Rossi for Altuzarra, collection at select
Saks Fifth Avenue stores nationwide. Rings by Patricia von
Musulin, collection at Stanley Korshak (Dallas).
FORGET VERSAILLES
Pages 158159: Pants by Rochas, visit shopbop.com. Page
160: Necklace by Harry Winston, visit harrywinston.com.
Page 161: Pumps by Nina Ricci, similar styles at shopbop
.com. Necklace by Van Cleef & Arpels, $29,000, call
877-VAN-CLEEF or visit vancleefarpels.com. Bracelet by
Verdura, $19,500, at Verdura (NYC), call 212-758-3388
or visit verdura.com. Page 163: Bikini bottom by Prism,
collection at Barneys New York. Bracelet by Lana Jewelry,
$8,050, visit lanajewelry.com. Bracelet by Miriam Haskell,
visit miriamhaskell.com. Pumps by Marc Jacobs, at Marc
Jacobs (NYC), call 212-343-1490 or visit marcjacobs.com.
Page 164: Shorts by Veronica Beard, visit veronicabeard.com.
Pumps by Oscar de la Renta, visit oscardelarenta.com.
Bracelet by Verdura, $19,500, at Verdura (NYC), call 212-
758-3388 or visit verdura.com. Page 165: Shirt by Marc
Jacobs, call 212-343-1490 or visit marcjacobs.com. Shorts
by Black Fleece by Brooks Brothers, call 800-274-1815 or visit
brooksbrothers.com. Page 167: Bikini by Prism, collection
at Barneys New York. Pumps by Valentino Garavani, at
Valentino boutiques nationwide.
HOUSE RULES
Page 168: Dress by Valentino, $6,980, at Valentino
boutiques nationwide. Pumps by Valentino Garavani, at
Valentino boutiques nationwide, call 212-997-8100. Page
169: Blouse, $29,190, dress, $5,680, necklace by Chanel, at
select Chanel boutiques nationwide. Hat by Rag & Bone,
at Rag & Bone stores nationwide. Page 170: Coat by
Dior, $5,900, call 800-929-DIOR. Page 171: Bib, blouse,
tie, pants by Ralph Lauren Collection, visit ralphlauren
.com. Page 172: Necklace by Jennifer Fisher, visit
jenniferfisherjewelry.com. Boots by Reed Krakoff, $12,995,
visit reedkrakoff.com. Necklace, stylists own. Page 173:
Dress, sweater by Prada, visit prada.com. Goggles by
Michael Kors, similar styles at select Michael Kors stores
nationwide, call 866-709-KORS. Ring by Monique Pan,
$5,590, visit moniquepean.com. Necklace, stylists own.
Page 174: Blouse, $11,495, skirt by Giorgio Armani, at
Giorgio Armani (NYC). Loafers by Michael Kors, at select
Michael Kors stores nationwide, call 866-709-KORS.
Hat, stylists own. Page 175: Jeans by J Brand, at Barneys
New York. Necklace, stylists own. Page 176: Top, pants
by Calvin Klein Collection, call 212-292-9000. Hat by Rag
& Bone, at Rag & Bone stores nationwide. Collar by Aesa,
visit aesajewelry.com. Bangles by Aerin Erickson Beamon,
visit aerin.com. Necklace, stylists own. Page 177: Dress
by Versace, $5,345, at select Versace boutiques nationwide.
Collar by Aesa, visit aesajewelry.com. Cuffs by Jennifer Fisher,
call 888-255-0640 or visit jenniferfisherjewelry.com.
Bangles by Aerin Erickson Beamon, visit aerin.com.
Necklace, stylists own. Page 178: Dress by Louis Vuitton, call
866-VUITTON or visit louisvuitton.com. Scarf by Echo,
visit echodesign.com. Collar by Aesa, visit aesajewelry.com.
Necklace, stylists own. Page 179: Blazer by Michael Kors,
call 866-709-KORS or visit michaelkors.com. Hat by Rag
& Bone, at Rag & Bone stores nationwide.
INSTANT LOVE
Page 180: Sandal by Giuseppe Zanotti Design, at Giuseppe
Zanotti Design boutiques nationwide. Page 181: Pump by
Louis Vuitton, at select Louis Vuitton stores nationwide,
visit louisvuitton.com. Sandal by Jimmy Choo, at select
Jimmy Choo stores nationwide, call 866-524-6687. Clutch
by Salvatore Ferragamo, at Salvatore Ferragamo boutiques
nationwide. Bag by Bottega Veneta, at Bottega Veneta
boutiques nationwide, call 212-371-5511.
Prices are approximate. ELLE recommends that
merchandise availability be checked with local stores.
w w w. e l l e. c o m 183
seemed like theyd be into getting rough (and
I was rarely wrong), but, paradoxically, their
willingness to go there felt like an insult.
Even as my mom rebounded from her ini-
tial decline, I found it difficult to celebrate her
improvement rather than mourn what was
gone. Radiation shrank some of her tumors
and eased her pain so that she didnt require
as much morphine, which meant that she was
more like her usual, coherent selfonly she
still lacked much of an attention span. My
exceedingly literate mother, who wrote her
masters thesis on the romantics and read
Wordsworth at her wedding, had enough con-
centration only for TVspecifically, The Real
Housewives and Cupcake Wars. We spent hours
watching catty socialites hurl insults and over-
turn tables, and bakers build improbable, mo-
torized layer cakes.
One afternoon, as she threw up from the
chemo, she apologized, Honey, Im sorry.
I was incredulous: Mom, how many times
have you watched me throw up? Ive thrown up
on you.
She tilted her head and smiled: Yes, but not
in a very long time, sweetie.
I
realized it needed to stop after I typed out a
matter-of-fact text message to send to Mike:
Will you punch me in the face?
My dad was driving me home from a
visit with my mom when he started to cry. I
just love her so much, he said, tears bouncing
off his round cheeks and landing in his gray-
ing mountain-man beard. I cant imagine my
life without her. It was an unusual moment of
open despairusually he teared up telling me
how lucky he felt just to have had such a love,
even though he was losing her. The thought
that came to my mind was, My dads losing his
life, too. His world was being taken from him.
I greeted this apocalyptic idea by asking to be
punched in the face.
I stared at the words and the blinking cur-
sor that followed, which seemed synced with
my heartbeat. Then my thumb went directly
to the backspace button: Delete, delete, delete.
I held down the button long after the message
was gone.
With one sentence, Id managed to finally re-
veal the depth of my anguish to myself. I might
as well have asked him to take a razor blade to
my wrist. No one would ever be able to hurt me
enough, I realized. No amount of physical pain
could trump my emotional agony; no number of
healed bruises or scabs could erase my sorrow.
In contrast to my fathers great, big aching love
for my mother, my nihilistic impulse seemed es-
pecially uglyand foolish.
The rough sex didnt stop immediately; life
rarely moves in such a straight line. But as I be-
gan to see these trysts for what they were, they
increasingly lost their allure. At the same time,
I started to appreciate what a blessing it was
that my mom was responding to treatment and
that I could be with her in these final months. I
actually believed my roommate when she told
me how lucky I was: My mom could live to be
100, she said, but Ill still never have the rela-
tionship youve had with yours.
My mom has outlasted her doctors progno-
sis by three years, but she still has cancer, she
is still dying, and Im still preemptively griev-
ing. The difference now is that instead of treat-
ing myself harshly, trying to destroy, I want to
follow the advice she gives me at the end of
nearly every one of our visits: Take care of
yourself, honey.
ELLE SHOPPING GUIDE
ELLE HOROSCOPE
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LEO ( July 23Aug 22)
This month, ordinarily warmhearted
Leos may seem more interested in
spending time alone in order to think
about their next moves. Try to decide
what you dont want and then jettison
those things from your life throughout
the coming months. If certain dreams
no longer hold fascination, draw up
new goals. Youll have a year to do so
before Jupiter enters your sign, heralding
many gifts. With Saturn in hard angle
to the full moon on the 22nd, a key
relationship in business or romance will
be at the center of your attention. Be
prepared to persuasively lay out your
opinions in detail, but remain open
to compromise. Venus will give you a
great deal of magnetism when it enters
your sign at the start of the month, to
stay through the 22nd. Refresh your
looks and strike up a conversation or
two if you hope to meet someone new.
If attached, youll find yourself ready
to crystallize a big plan for the future.
VIRGO (Aug 23Sept 22)
With Jupiter, Mercury, the Sun, and
the 8ths new moon in your house
of socializing, lots of enticing invites
will come up this month, with many
of these events holding advantageous
connections. Mercury, your ruler, will
be retrograde until the 20th, so progress
may not be as quick as youd like, but
you should still cultivate new friendships
and get involved to initiate personal
growth. At the same time, youll finish
up a large career project that will be
due within four days of the full moon
on the 22nd. With Saturn in hard angle,
you can expect much work and some
inevitable rushing as you approach your
deadline. Put everything else on hold
until all tasks are complete. In love,
Saturns direct turn on the 8th will make
it easier to navigate a new or existing
relationship, and Venus in Virgo from
the 22nd to August 16th will have your
appeal running at an all-time high. You
can certainly attract admirers, but youll
have to spend a little energy to do so.
LIBRA (Sept 23Oct 22)
Jupiter is in your tenth house of career
success for the first time this decade,
and starting on the 8th, the good-luck
planet will accompany Mercury, the
Sun, and a new moon for two weeks,
making it imperative that you hit
the ground running. While Mercury
will be retrograde during Julys first
three weeksmeaning be cautious
while musing about offers and signing
contractsyoull have exceptional
favor when it comes to creativity and
compensation, especially around the
18th. The meeting of Mars and Jupiter on
the 21st will bring you even more success,
this time via a partner, collaborator, or
expert. After so much focus on your
professional life, romance will thrill you
at the full moon in Aquarius on the 22nd.
If youre in love, this night can spin a
lifetime memory with your partner, but
if youve not been dating (or dating the
wrong person, perhaps?), this moment
may bring a fateful introduction. The
heavens are shining in your favor, so get
out there and let nature take its course.
CANCER ( June 22July 22)
Prepare yourself for a month brimming with opportunity and
good fortune, as Jupiter, the planet of happiness, expansion,
health, and prosperity, is in your sign. This energy will be
potent and abundant, yes, but dont squander it by going in too
many directions. Pursue goals that will give you the greatest
satisfaction and long-term joy. Pluto will oppose the Sun and
the 8ths new moon, so someone close to you may be intent on
persuading you to change your plans. Stick to your guns, forget
past disappointments, and watch for a dazzling breakthrough
near the 21st, when Jupiter aligns with Mars, the ruler of your
career, bringing professional news worth celebrating. As to
romance, Venus in Virgo plus Mars in Cancer will heighten all
Cancers sex appeal and, for singles, optimize the prospect of an
exciting July full of new introductions. If youre attached, Saturns
presence starting on the 7th will clarify a decision about your
partner. Know that Jupiter will give you the confidence to deduce
whether its time to leave or to make more of your relationship.
*YOUR YEAR AHEAD: With Jupiter
in your sign for the coming year, you
can travel to cities near and far, enhance
your health and fitness regimen, and,
professionally, join forces with VIPs to
bolster your most lucrative plans. In
romance, if youve been waiting for the
one, wait no longer. Saturn, while always
challenging, will have an added positive
influence, making you more serious about
developing lasting bonds. A major eclipse
on November 3rd will bring everything
to a satisfying conclusion. In your home
life, though not all of your questions
will find answers, with each month that
passes youll gain more wisdom and
control over the situation as you work
toward a long-lasting agreement in 2014.
Mercurys retrograde may slow communications, but
Jupiter is shining in all signsjust in time for summer
to really heat up. By Susan Miller
184 w w w. e l l e. c o m
Kristen Bell
July 18, 1980
SCORPIO (Oct 23Nov 21)
Your ninth house, of higher education,
distant travel, and international trade,
glows incredibly bright this month. A
trip should bring exceptionally good
news, particularly after the new moon
on the 8th and also around the 21st,
when Mars will conjunct Jupiter. Water
signs will be in an ideal position, as an
exceedingly rare golden triangle links
your houses of identity, love, and travel to
bring wonderful developments in these
areas. Venus will tour your reputation
sector until the 22nd, allowing you to
make inroads, impress higher-ups, and,
when not at the office, enjoy time with
friends. Keep in mind that Mercury
will retrograde most of the month, so
no matter how vital, wait before signing
papers or agreeing to any proposals.
Focus on your work, especially any
creative projects, and be patient until
Mercury goes direct on the 20th.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov 22Dec 21)
This month, with half the solar
system moving through your house of
commission and salary, youd be wise to
take advantage of financial opportunities
that present themselves, but not before
seriously considering which, if any, are
right for you and the future plans youve
laid out. If you havent engaged in talks
with advisers, begin now. Mercury will
retrograde until the 20th, so be sure all
paperwork is in perfect orderany errors
may detract from your chances of success.
When it comes to romance, Venus will
receive powerful beams from Uranus on
the 7th, sprinkling that weekend with
pure joy. You could also find yourself on
a short jaunt around the 22nd, thanks to
a tender full moon that may coax you
to visit friends or plan private time with
someone special. With all this months
calculations and fiscal maneuvering, do
everything in your power to get away,
take a deep breath, and relax.
CAPRICORN (Dec 22Jan 19)
The new moon in your seventh house of
commitment on the 8th will accelerate
any romantic plans you may have, and
this same energy can also be put to good
use by starting a business partnership
or collaboration. If youve been dating,
youll need to decide whether to commit
or walk away, but if youre unattached,
now may be the time to hire a wonderful
agent, publicist, lawyer, or accountant.
This is certainly the month to review
your options and choose the expert you
need, for when Saturn, your ruler, goes
direct on the 8th, your period of due
diligence will end and youll cruise at a
much faster speed. But be sure not to set
anything in stone too quickly, as Mercury
will retrograde during the first three
weeks of July. Take things in stride, and
let improvements come to you as they
mayall the while knowing more are on
the way.
AQUARIUS ( Jan 20Feb 18)
With Mercury retrograde until the 20th,
keep an eye on any project details, lest an
error slip through and spoil accuracy
or your reputation. Improving your
health and fitness will become a priority
for you just after the new moon on
the 8th, and Jupiters presence in your
sixth house will help you stick to your
goals. Romance will benefit from your
newfound radiance, and with Mars
touring Gemini and your fifth house of
true love in the first two weeks of July,
just as Venus moves into your house of
commitment, the universe forecasts a
smoothbut excitingmonth. The full
moon on the 22nd will bring a matter
of vital importance to culmination.
There will be no way to avoid a clash
of conflicting demands, but try to keep
your eyes open and your ears keen.
Being sympathetic, understanding,
and willing to compromise will
help you find the right solution.
PISCES (Feb 19Mar 20)
Neptune in Pisces signaling Jupiter, Mars
in Cancer, and Saturn in Scorpio will
all align to form a golden triangle that
will herald the perfect time to launch big
initiativesparticularly from the 17th
to the 19th. With the universe firmly
behind you, take a judicious but creative
risk by presenting edgy ideas to the
powers that be. You stand an excellent
chance of having your plans approved.
Then get ready for a major priority
shift as Jupiter reaches your fifth house
of true love to stay for a year, during
which time romance will see a welcome
uptick. Beyond Jupiter, a convergence of
planets will make this month critical for
relationships. Single? Circulate, and be
open to new types. If youre attached,
your bond is likely to strengthen
dramatically. The stars want to work for
you, but you must show the universe that
youre serious about a richer personal
life, filled with your dearest dreams.
ARIES (Mar 21Apr 19)
Though youve been busy with career
matters lately, Jupiter is now making his
presence known in your home sector.
You can safely turn your attention
to domestic matters without losing
momentum, so give your space a critical
eye. Saturns direct turn on the 8th
will allow you to get a better grip on
financial affairs. Think over what youd
like to do next to add to your sense of
security. If you get a chance to travel
over the weekend of the 20th, jump at
the opportunity, for the 22nds full moon,
along with your ruler, Mars, linking to
Jupiter, will bring the perfect moment
to visit a family member or check out a
potential property. Friends will also take
on a more urgent role in your life when
Mars squares off with Pluto and Saturn
blocks the Sun. Its a fragile time, so keep
your schedule light in case youre needed.
TAURUS (Apr 20May 20)
Travel seems very likely this month, and
Jupiters presence shows a trip would be
profitable for business, or luxurious for
pleasure. High expenses in the first half
of the month could be an underlying
concern, but everything will settle down
after Mars moves into Cancer on the
13th. By the full moon on the 22nd,
youll need to prepare for major career
developments. If youve interviewed for a
position, you may hear news at this time,
or you could find yourself the recipient
of public praise that establishes you as an
industry leader. In your private life, tread
lightly with relatives, as controversial
topics could unleash a torrent of emotion.
Your romantic life will be less testy
when Venus enters fellow earth sign
Virgo for the first time this year. A
vacation will bring you closer to love,
so try to steal two or three days away
youll come back flush with happiness.
GEMINI (May 21June 21)
With Jupiter, the planet of fortune,
entering your earned-income sector to
stay for a year, this month brings proof of
whats in store. Watch for opportunities
to blossom just after the 8ths new moon,
and be sure to speak up for what youre
due. A friend will be instrumental in
putting you front and center for lucrative
advantages. Mercury, your ruler, will
continue to retrograde until the 20th,
which will keep your progress slow,
but dont push against delaystheyll
benefit you in the long run. Instead,
use this time to ask questions, gather
information, and prepare yourself
to carefully handle the good fortune
coming your way. A rare golden triangle
supported by four major planets will
appear in the heavens from the 17th
to the 19th, just prior to Mercurys
direct turn on the 20th, putting you
in a prime position for career victory.
Your life may go from ditheringly slow
to a breakneck speed, so get ready!
more? For your full astrological forecast from Susan Miller, visit astrologyzone.com. And for your daily horoscope, go to elle.com/horoscopes w w w. e l l e. c o m 185
ELLE CHERCHEZ LA FEMME
G
ELLE CHERCHEZ LA FEMME
T
hat Channing Tatum has become one
of Hollywoods most compelling lead-
ing men could be considered some-
thing of a surprise. Sure, he was highly
watchable in 2006s Step Up, but many had
written him off as a walking six-pack gifted
with the power of speech. Yet 2012 was a
game changer. With 21 Jump Street, the one-
time model proved he could tell a joke
and be the butt of one, too. He romanced
Rachel McAdams in The Vow, then became
one of Steven Soderberghs secret weapons
in Magic Mike, which was loosely based on
Tatums own experiences as a young strip-
per in Tampa. This summer, the Alabama
native gets busy saving the president in the
thriller White House Down. With all that
box office heat, one might expect Tatum,
33, to be sowing his wildest oats, but those
days are firmly behind him; he married
his Step Up costar Jenna Dewan in 2009,
and theyre now expecting their first child.
The biggest surprise about Tatum, though?
Hes a sculptor in his spare time. Here, he
talks the pleasures of the female form.
ELLE: Would you share an embarrassing
childhood story involving a girl?
CHANNING TATUM: Hm. Im trying to
think of something that didnt work out in
my favor.
ELLE: Because they all did?
CT: No, no. [Laughs] It definitely wasnt
all good. The first girl I ever kissed was
named Danica. She broke up with me
through a friend who yelledout the bus
windowOh yeah, Danica doesnt want
to go out with you anymore. The whole
bus burst into laughter.
ELLE: Who was your first celebrity crush?
CT: Alyssa Milano in Whos the Boss? She
was it, man. Id love to run into her. Im
pretty sure Id geek out. Isnt she married?
ELLE: Yes. And so are you.
CT: I was about to say!
ELLE: Youve said you love being in love.
Were you always the monogamous type?
CT: Being in a relationship was always the
endgame, but Ive had my crazy times.
When I was stripping, I wasnt with
anyone. Thats not an occupation you
have when youre monogamous.
ELLE: Whats the craziest thing a woman
offered to do back then?
CT: I think youve got the craziest stuff I
could do or say in Magic Mike.
ELLE: So the penis pump scene was
autobiographical?
CT: Of course. [Laughs] Youve gotta get it
where you can get it, man.
ELLE: You and your wife met during Step
Upat the start of your career. Did any of
your bros say Youre about to be a star.
Dont settle down now?
CT: I had just gotten out of a pretty long
relationship, so I was in no way ready for
another. I was trying to run from what I
knew Jenna wasnot someone I was just
going to date. But one of my buddies was
like, What are you doing, man? Shes
dope. That night I showed up at her hotel
room with a sombrero on, and that was it.
ELLE: Wait. Why a sombrero?
CT: We were drinking at a Mexican joint
and I stole it off the wall.
ELLE: She once said as soon as you get
home, you get naked. Whats that about?
CT: I dont really know. I have a really
nice back porch where the pool is. Once
the shoes are off, the socks come off too,
and then everything else downstairs just
follows at some point.
ELLE: Youve been together for seven
years. How do you keep it fresh?
CT: I wish I could say it was one thing.
But I think communication and being
brutally honest about the things that
you wantwhat you fantasize about, or
whatever. No matter what, talk to each
other. That stuff you might be nervous to
hear? You gotta want to know.
ELLE: People often say you find out who
you married in the bad times. Was that
true for you?
CT: Yeah. Ive got two stories. I was broke
and I couldnt pay my half of the rent
when we were first together. She was
basically my sugar mama for six months.
ELLE: Whats the second one?
CT: We were on our first trip together, in
Hawaii, trying to find this waterfall. There
was a trail with markers and stuff, but we
had to walk for about four and a half hours
[to find it]. Then I look upwe dont have
four and a half hours of light to get back.
We dont have flashlights. We dont have
anything. It starts to get dark, so were
jogging back a little quicker. You couldnt
see your hand in front of your face.
ELLE: What happened?
CT: Most people would panic. This is
your fault! Blah blah blah! But Jenna was
completely sane, just trying to get the job
done. We got out, covered in mud, and
there was one more beer in my bag. We
shared it by the side of the road.
ELLE: Have you ever received any
particularly good advice about women?
CT: Jenna and I have a trick we use to
check in with each other. We say, On a
scale of one to 10, how much do you love
me right now? Its not as romantic as you
think. Sometimes its like, I love you at
a six right now. I have an issue, and you
asked. So now Im going to tell you.
ELLE: I heard youre a sculptor. What do
you sculpt?
CT: I really love anatomy, in general. I like
sculpting bodies.
ELLE: Are we talking live, nude models?
CT: Not yet. Im sure thats on the docket.
My sculptures look like my wife. Not
pregnant. [Laughs] Her old body.
ELLE: That comment might make her
love you at a six. Is it true that pregnant
women want to have sex all the time?
CT: Its a bit of a paradox. Theyre
definitely hormonally raging, but when
they get further alongtheyre just
dealing all the time. So, yes and no.
ELLE: What movie puts you in the mood?
CT: I dont know if I have a baby-making
movie. But every time we watch The
Notebook, my wife looks at me while shes
crying and makes me promise were going
to die together in bed. Im like, Can we
not talk about how were going to die?
BODY OF WORK
When it comes to his career, Channing Tatum stripped, strutted, and sculpted his
way onto the A-list. Mickey Rapkin discovers that it didnt hurt his love life, either
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186 www. e l l e. c o m
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