off day

by cameron kuhn

he

a needle and cigarettes brought me to my little spot under the bridge i might have told you that i'd bring you there some day but today you're busy with somebody else i call you anyways even though i know that you dont want me to and i listen to your voice while i puke and burn my thumb and cry

i hope you hang up on me when you realize that im a worthless prick

angry paladin

today i imagined bashing your face in with a mace until i cant recognize you anymore then id use my white magic to cure your wounds and do it all over again

-27 Celsius

i just watched the whole river freeze over with one of your ragged breaths are your lungs so icy that you didnt mean to do it, or do you enjoy to see where the water cracks when fish are frozen solid? i wish you would have pushed me into the water before you did this so at least then id just be another fish

the sun is not inside you

youre not really that special so i dont know why im so fixated on you............................. i wish you the best of luck no i dont yes i do no i dont yes i do sorry i'm seriously torn between me being happy / you being happy sucks that those two things dont line up as nicely as i want them to..............................

im a fucking idiot

i wish we were like 25 or something and we just broke up and i was a cool asian slam poet and i took all our photos and memories and everything i could find related to you and burned it all in a fire on the roof of my appartment building

cute ass

im so smart holy shit i want to fuck you unti you die hollyyyyy SHIT i dont normally wanna fuck people but god fucking damn i wanna fuck you so hard holy shit i feel like a caveman who just wants tof uck i just WANT TO FUCK

ill tuck you in my fucking pouch

im a feral animal im a fucking kangaroo im fucking a fucking kangaroo IM FuckING a fuKCING fKAarnoAGROOhrJOEHRKLSWdsdegDLGKA;FGLDFG------------------&^#&)^$^@&$#&&&&*&*****************&&#^)_______________&(#@$ @*#$#########

coping

here's a list of some of my latest coping methods:

1> talking to a cute girl i really want to fuck 2> smoking cigarettes until i puke 3> meditation 4> eating food when im not hungry 5> shoving raspberries into my mouth while i look yearnfully at the river outside my front door 6> making substatuses about people i didnt used to hate 7> imagining myself being happy 8> not showering or wearing deoderant so i smell really bad 9> fantasizing about doing heroin 10> smashing my hands on the keyboard while yelling 'fuck' over and over 11> trying to pet a cat that hates me and then letting the scratches sting 12> papercuts between my fingers 13> keaton henson 14> indie punk 15> angry ebooks

the elephant in the room

are we really just going to sit here and pretend that this huge fucking pile of shit between us doesnt exist??? do you really think you can hide it?! do i really think i can avoid it?! what the fuck are we doing why does it even matter god fukcing damnit i hate how we are sometimes

sweet

i want to break your nose

fuck you

FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU ARE SUCH A GODDAMN PRICK FUCK YOU FUCK YOU YOU GODDAMN ASSHOLE YOURE A LIEING SHIT STAIN GROOW THE FUCK UP AND STOP BASING YOUR WORTH AROUND THE GIRLS WHO EAT UP YOUR SHIT AND BASHING THE ONES WHO DON’T

tsunamii

im angry and sad and i hate you so much but i dont even know why and im calm and happy and i love you so much so what the fuck

i want to dye my hair forest green and sleep on you

conclusion

ive noticed throughout the stupidly high number of poems ive written about you that one of my biggest issues is closure if this says anything about us then we're fucked and its my fault and im so sorry

i need to stop staying up late to write angsty ebooks about you this is the third one i think god damnit

fin
thank you for reading (s/o to bright eyes for starting Happy birthday to me as soon as i finished proofreading this; very cool)