“The Fairly OddParents Musical” SONGS

ALL SONGS WRITTEN BY: Butch Hartman and Steve Marmel

Nickelodeon Animation Studio © 2003 Viacom International Inc.


Bell rings. School’s done. Time for eight weeks of fun and sun! No shirts! No shoes! Beating kids up any time that I choose! The beach! The mall! Family visits to the Taj Mahal! We’re doing all the things our parents forbid! Summer’s not a bummer with kids just being kids! COSMO: It’s time! It’s here! My very favorite time of year! WANDA: No school! Just play! Granting wishes 24 hours a day! TIMMY: Are you sure? This is allowed? SANDERSON (slyly): Make your wishes very violent and loud! Grant me wishes you would usually forbid! Cuz summer’s not a bummer when us kids are being kids! Kids just being kids! Running wild and running free! Kids just being kids! What can I TP? Kids just being kids! MOM AND DAD: Close your eyes and count to three. There’s nowhere safe for you and me with kids just being kids!


ADULTS: My house! My yard! What’s these charges on my credit card? My porch! My word! CROCKER: It’s not my problem ‘til September Third! My town! My chow! I hadn’t realized ‘til up ‘til now! They can do those things we parents forbid! They’ll kill themselves this summer Cuz these kids are being kids! Kids just being kids! Breaking things and wrecking stuff! Kids just being kids! When’s enough enough! Of Kids just being kids, Taking risks, we must act tough! And save our kids from all the stuff... ...of kids just being kids!


We’re Pixies! We’re Pixies! Check out our mad, wicked Mixies! We’ve got square heads! Big pointy caps! Clean out your ears and hear our rap! H.P.: I’m H.P., yo! I am in charge! I may be small, but my goals are large! I’m not a hater, but I must cater, to my mission, my ambition, to be dictator! SANDERSON: I’m Sanderson! I’m Anti-fun! And all those Fairies can bite my bun! With my boss H.P., we’re gonna be, the new leaders of the Fairies! H.P.: You got that, G! FLAPPY BOB: I’m Flappy Bob! I ain’t no clown! Oh, wait... My shoes... Hey, I am a clown! A clown that raps! A Bob that flaps! Gonna get Timmy Turner in a clown-based trap!


ALL THREE: With Pixies! Yeah Pixies! SANDERSON AND H.P.: And since the 1960s! We’ve tried to rule, and here’s the deal, by this time tomorrow the world will kneel... ALL THREE: TO PIXIES!


FLAPPY BOB: You’re sitting here complaining! ‘Bout all that you’ve been through. And with the whole summer remainng, you must be asking “Who?” Can protect your little darlings from the bad things you abhor. Let me tell you Flappy Bob is, the clown you’re looking for! Before they skin their knees! Get Flappy! Before they’re black and blue! Get Flappy! Before they’ve caught TB! Get Flappy! Or keep annoying you! Before they break their necks! Get Flappy! Before they break their arms! Before they’re all but wrecks, Get Flappy! Before they do more harm! CLOWN CHEERLEADERS: (cheered) Flap flap flap flap flappity doo! Flappy is the clown for you! Flap flap flap flap flappity dee! Flappy is the clown for me! Flap flap flappity doo! Flap Flappity doh! Flappy is the way to go! FLAPPY BOB: Before they poke their eyes out! Before they break their knees! Before your home’s invaded by a swarm of angry bees! Why sit here just complaining! Why even take the chance! Drop your punks off to your buddy with the Polka-Dotta pants!


I know that it seems harsh! And a little bit unfair! But someone’s gotta be there when you know you can’t be there! It might be a tad expensive! But let me ask of you! Won’t it cost more down the line... If the cops are blaming you! For the injuries incurred while your children wreck the town! You can learn to love your cell mate, Get Flappy! FLAPPY BOB AND ADULTS: Get Flappy… ALL ADULTS: GET FLAPPY!!!


TIMMY: Who shuts the mall down early? Who wants us in by dark? Who gets all mad and surly... ... when we make a smart remark? Who do we have to hide from? From Dimmsdale to old Beijing? They’re taking away our summer ‘cuz adults ruin everything! Adults ruin everything! With all their rules and laws! Adults ruin everything! We must fight back because! Adults ruin everything! Time and time again! Adults ruin everything! Trust no one over ten! CHESTER: I’d feed the whole world ice cream! Veronica: I’d super size the mall! AJ: I’d melt stuff with a heat beam! H.P. (to Timmy) Too bad it’s not your call. TIMMY: I’ve got two magic Fairies! COSMO AND WANDA Wands waiting to be twirled! TIMMY: Adults can’t ruin everything if kids could rule the world! Adults ruin everything! But kids would run things right! Adults ruin everything, but I know I can fight! Adults ruining everything! That’s how this day unfurled! But that won’t happen if I wish that kids could rule the world!


(Eight Bars musical interlude as the world changes) Who gets to set the curfews? KIDS! Who gets to make the laws? KIDS! The only adult we listen to And his name is Santa Claus! Who gets to run the country? KIDS! Who gets to say what’s cool? KIDS! How can I put it bluntly? ‘Cuz Now It’s kids who rule! KIDS!


That kids had no power, I had to correct. We kids are the boss now, and you can expect, that things’ll be different with me at the wheel! I’m ten and in charge, Wow! And here’s what I feel... I made a place that the kids now are running! The view from our tree house is really quite stunning! H.P.: Our plan. Look. It’s working. SANDERSON: We’re really quite cunning. H.P.: To Jorgen Von Strangle we go. SANDERSON: Nice hat! It’s candy for breakfast, more candy for lunch and it’s candy for dinner and I’ve got a hunch that it’s dandy we run things, don’t act like a mob! There’s plenty to do and you’ve all got a job! You get to be the police chief! Can I flash the big red light? You three can host all the talk shows! And stay up late every night! You get to lead all my armies! All over the map! You clean my room up and you do my laundry ...while I stay here and nap! Note: We’re in Fairyworld… The Pixies are pointing all this out to Jorgen We’re Pixies! We’re Pixies! Check out our mad wicked mixies! Have you checked out the planet? I know you didn’t plan it! But the kids have the power and the Fairies! JORGEN: “DAGNABBIT!”


We’re Pixies! We’re Pixies! And we’re about to affix these! Notes of Eviction! JORGEN: Earth is my jurisdiction! The power balance needs a’ fixin’ like our magical prediction! (Note: We hear “We’re Pixies! We’re Pixies! Check out our mad wicked mixies!” Beneath the last two verses of this song.) WANDA: Wow, things are running quite smoothly! With kids there are no wars! COSMO: I don’t know if it’s that groovy, that we’re stuck with the chores! How can you be dissaproving, this gets better by the hour! No worries, no strife, Baby, this is the life!!!! JORGEN: You have too much power!


With my muscles! I will tussles! With all those who dare present-sles! A clear and present threat-sles to my authority! To my knuckles! You will buckles! Like a chicken you will cluck-sles! For I so do love Da Rules-les and I know “Da Rules” love me! You will learn to fear my mighty fist! If my song won’t help you get the gist! You fools might disagree! But you all answer to me! With this Polka! I won’t joke-a! But first, this frappe mocha! (mmm!) I was shocked when I awoke-a! To a world where kids all ruled! With my bi-ceps! I must try-cepts! To see that kids are now denied-ceps! The magic we supplied-cepts! For your jobs must be retooled! Oh I love to get to draw a line! And you morons make me all the time! For “Da Rules” are very clear! And now the time is here! For me to...


Pull back the Fairies! Bring them all home one by one! Pull back the Fairies! Now that my mocha is done! Pull back the Fairies! Now that the kids have the reigns! Now we’re pulling, pulling back the Fairies! So I can bring them pain! (key change) Pull back the Fairies! Bring them all home one by one! Pull back the Fairies! While I eat this big sticky bun! Pull back the Fairies! Now that the kids have the reigns! Now we’re pulling, pulling back the Fairies! So I can bring them pain!


Oh, I’m a clown face on the outside but a frown face on the inside ‘Cuz this town here where I reside needs a new reality! Not one that all the kids run not one where there’s too much fun but one which is my vision of the way the world should be! These are the… Un-Fundamentals! Loved by all the parentals! Who want to keep all their kids in line! I'm certi -fiably demental for the Unfundamentals! I’m gonna childsafe the world, just give me time! And make this place unfundamentally mine! Can I wear these cleats? Well now you can! May I have more meat? Here's tofu, man! How about a treat? You'd better scram! I’m afraid that I will have to slam...


The door in the face of any trace of any fun that might deface my clownish scheme to Interlace Un Fundamentals of life! All the arcades close at three now! Trampolines are bouncy free now! We all have to agree now… …that your kids are safe and sound! Since the corners now are cork-ed! And the forks have been deforked, now you can all go to New York while your kids I am around! due to the …Unfundamentals I'll be so very gentle. There's no Accident-a-mentals or Strife! Just trust my unfundamentals! While you’re transcontinental! Just leave your precious children's hands in mine! As I make this very town and make the world renowned and make all that's fun Unfundamentally mine!


WANDA (Sings as Jorgen takes notes, then we ripple to flashbacks) I was lost Then he found me And all tho He confounds me By his crown Is where I know I should be. Yes, I know …He’s a moron With a brain Made of Boron. And yet I find I’m drawn to him magically! And through every moment of turmoil And moment of pain And all of our misadventures, one thing remains… Facing Pixies, Jarheads or Bullies I’ll never be blue… As long as I’m floating with you. COSMO (Sings as Jorgen takes notes, then we ripple to flashbacks) I saw her… And no other …I still lived With my Mother When I spotted her and her swirly pink hair! Though my shoes Smell like tarpits And I don’t Wash my armpits I like monkeys too much, but I know she doesn’t care!

17 I know that I ‘m forgetful I know I’m dim! And despite the fact I’ve just eaten, I know I’ll swim! But I know that it doesn’t matter I can’t count to two As long as I’m Floating with you. Montage to a Fairy Court – Cosmo and Wanda face a Judge and Jury. Key change. COSMO AND WANDA (Harmonizing) Even though we’re in deep here, And they might make us sleep here, Here with you, dear, is where we both make our stand. WANDA: I am braced for Attack and COSMO: Knowing she has my back and BOTH: All I need is her (his) hand in my hand… WANDA: Baby I know I can be nagging! COSMO: I know you’re naggy too! WANDA: I know that I’m demanding! COSMO: Man is that’s true! COSMO: But maybe I’m understanding! BOTH: No matter what we go through. COSMO: I’d rather go through it… WANDA: I know I’ll get through it… BOTH: If I’m floating through it… With you.


(To The Tune of Get Flappy) You thought that I was Flappy! But Flappy isn’t real! You thought you were in charge here, but this is now the deal! I’m Imaginary Gary I’m Timmy Turner’s real foe! He thought me gone, but he was wrong And here’s how things will go! Before we get set free? Get Timmy! And once he’s Sad and Blue? Get Timmy! You’ll switch him and me! Get Timmy! Or I will clobber you! He locked me in his head! And never played with me! But mark my words, you tiny birds, his butt belongs to me! To the Tune of “Floating With You” I know Timmy’s in trouble! Gary wants Timmy Dead! But I by swear by all of these birdies Up in my head! That I can make this all better! If Timmy is free! And he’ll bring back Wanda to me! To The Tune of “Adults Ruin Everything.” Why are we in this dungeon? Stuck in this pit of balls? Wasting our precious summer surrounded by these walls?

19 How can I start to tell them? That I put them in this vault! COSMO: Timmy, you’ve got to listen! It’s really not your fault! Gary ruined everything! Wait?! Flappy was a fake?!? Yes! Gary ruined everything! And you’re next on his plate! Gary’s ruined everything! And I think you must agree! He’ll off you and your friends if can’t set those Pixies Free! Cosmo POOFS into a KEY. Timmy uses him to open his cell door and frees everybody. ALL KIDS: WE’RE FREE!!!

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