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1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 A pair of tiny pliers for extracting the molars of pixies A compass that always points Thisaway An egg timer calibrated in aeons An abacus with lettered blocks for performing impromptu numerology a pair of 3lensed spectacles tinted in ulfire, dolm, and jale the Milk of Human Kindness (gone sour) in small vial w/ eyedropper Half an horseshoe A bag of teeth A pint of children tears Spoons for bending practice Tea, for alertness and teamancy A small box containing an invisible scarab A device that tells you how the weather was on your current location five million years ago a disguising comb that always leaves you looking faintly vulpine equipment for a sport reputedly played during the 16th Age Erotic fortunetelling postcards adapted to the tastes of some hideous semiinsectoid wildernessthing Punctilio For Dummies An astrolabe demarcated in another planar system of measurement A vial with the last breath of notorious necromancer dissolved in ether 3 stereopoticon slides of salacious ghosts A map depicting the continents of an unknown planet A crystal ball containing a wonderfully detailed miniature palace, small beings move about performing their duties and living their lives if you shake the ball the beings become frightened and agitated A beanie that makes the wearer feel the weather in the precisely opposite location on the globe A jar of eyenails A mug that instantly turns its contents tepid a cat muzzle three saplings of thunderoak **: guaranteed to be stuck by lightning when fully grown, centuries later. five lead tubes attached to a nozzle twentyseven live bats stitched onto a cloak A handkerchief supposedly containing the noseblowings of the North Wind Lipstick that sticks lips an empty wire cage on the end of a staff The shoulder pad of the Space Marine Who Cried A bag of unlimited eels a necklace of all your baby teeth a potted ghould heath a spicy balm, spread on wounds to seethe A codpiece of a vagina Box of Carcosan Crayons, including the Bone crayon which is totally transparent
Schematics of automata in a language and scale unknown— could be a child’s toy or a colossus Screw driver’s licence A hexaflexagon of mirrors that supposedly reflects the true soul— but only in total darkness A Gamelan gong tuned to an ultrasonic pitch Fish barding A jack hammer made of knuckle bones. or a half clock that only tocks A Yorkshireman's purse (it never opens) Something in a matchbox that makes people go 'yuck' A monocle for your third eye A homeoscope that makes things look exactly the same size as they actually are A double headed I Ching coin A coprolite from an extinct species of dragon Dried frogs (or alternatively a box of Crunchy Frog Bonbons see Monty Python Crunchy Frog ) A periwig of real baboon hair DIY voodoo doll kit; requires three different body parts/fluids from target A gallium spoon (Melting gallium spoon) A curious speaking tube that translates any language into telephone modem Dust of Slightly Grubby Appearance Hydrometer for testing specific gravity of fluids.. Reduces one in fifty people to wheezing ruin for d10 minutes A Pelgranespotter’s notebook. Shibboleth jokebook. annotated in an unknown language A map of the world on a leather möbius strip A domino mask that when donned makes the wearer think they are the hottest thing on the dancefloor A rusty tiara that mysteriously attracts useless scrap in the dark of night A miniscule snot golem with a nasty cold An effigy of a prancing monster that howls in the light of the moon A Gordian Accordion A fathom line for measuring the Depths of Sorrow An anachronistic valve amp and leads. esp. slimes and puddings Slide rule in base 17 arithmetic Wand of Prime Number detection (wave it at a collection of any kind of object and it will tell you if there is a prime number of them) Animated lithograph of wizard at his graduation from Alchemy College.40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 A half pendulum that only swings fro. just needs electricity and a guitar. slightly singed and acid stained An axolotl A copy of How to Win at Noughts and Crosses A random list maker A book of true and reliable prophecies pertaining to utterly insignificant events temporary glue: sticks things for 5 minutes (and/or temporary lubricant) The Drink of Forgetfulness works only while you’re drinking it Suppositories of Stuttering A popup heart surgery manual. Only hammers Jacks A rotting pair of old boxer shorts so offensive it can clear a room in moments.. Infuriates pelgranes . molds. beer False cat whiskers for seeing if you can fit through a gap Dark monocle for keeping sun glare out of one eye Colour chart for the correct identification of oozes.
Try again.85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 A raunchy publication for whalers with an enticing sealed section. A welllicked toad A well worn map marked only with letter ‘h’. puts mice to sleep. Roll each time it is invoked: odd = lucky. Also on the feet of the wearer. even = unlucky A frypan that burns all meals cooked in it. It updates itself every night A starchart showing the physical proximity between the famous and infamous A rodent’s foot. Ear Candles The concentrated sweat of female apes 1 oz of pure pandemonium Opera glasses that purportedly show all on stage buck naked A bag of flux helpful to melt cheese. They are stonehard. Misenchanted Dice. possibly from the middle of Nowhere The liturgical manual of a forgotten religion with 1d20 blank pages. It is smiling. Every midnight mysteriously finds its way back to you. Slippery Slippers. The rusted mechanical parts of a Sighborg A manuscript that is continually being updated by multiple hands. Worm blinders A bucket with a magical hole. Subject is dependent on viewers’ tastes. A dead baby in a jar. . Spatula of leverage (bendy) Badwrong Sex Drawing. when played. You can’t get rid of it. Zither of Shoggot Cuddles Cursed Bouncy Ball. Pack of Magical Spaghetti. When rolled they fall from the table. They create no drag whatsoever. but think of the reader) A vial containing a milky liquid identified as “The Quality of Mercy” and a small silver straining spoon. All the editors are drawn into endless editing wars. When sprinkled on food and beverage it will make it blander. Depicts disgusting sexual acts. A tentacleadapter for scissors the Compleat Atlas of Inns and Speakeasys. Cystall Ball of Regrets. pile up or cock up or knocked up before they can be read. And then if we get to 216 entries it can be a d666 table 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 A bassethound trained in tracking down nail clippings A cow bell that when rung causes all mammals in earshot to lactate 83 silver coated aphids live A bunch of fresh spinach leaves. A pienmein hand fan from the Farthest East that cools the user but heats the person infront of them A 1 inch cast iron Skillet of Perfect Recipes A bag of fine glass shards A concertina that. A perfectly relative argument Ring of Obscene Noises BlandoMat Powder.[reference needed] (this could be better. Fluids don’t flow through the hole. Two command words switches them instantly between rawrigid and cookedsoft. It shows what would happen if you behaved differently in your past.
but how do you light it or put it out? Antimagic Grimoire. Warm to the touch. Gem of Apathy. 7 dozens of preserved Glowbat placentas. Floating stone. 1d6 pills that make everything you say for the next three hours come out in High Ancient Zolphariani. everybody else does. If dripped on a body part it will become hamlessly bloated for a few days. Statue of 6 ravens. Marionette. 1 pint. 1 inch tall. Slide Whistle of Leprous Whore Summoning (this is actually useful. 13 you. Fireproof oil. Earhorn of Empty Words. Snail shoes. in sealed clay jar. Command word transforms them into ravens that immediately disperse flying away. 2 lefts. It magically attaches itself to a pheasant but doesn’t stop the pheasant from phasing away. A small vial containing red mercury. Obsidian Ravens of Dispersion. 1 pound. has a pulse. Large bag of individually numbered lentils Petrified tin of Cream of Basilisk soup . Bureaucratic notes of longdestroyed magic colleges. 2 inches tall. Toy Chariot of Fire. 1 vial. Phasing Pheasants Leash. but when you bite into it you only taste human flesh the ingredients for a spell. Prestiditation is frowned upon by real mages. It amplifies only phrase parts that don’t carry any meaning. Mould fertilizer.24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 Pocket Goat. Diploma of Prestidigitation. A glass plate that lets through light with one year delay. a block of cheese. 8 Tripephile Lozenges. The writer can’t see what it writes. it does nothing. I’d make it more useless fair enough! how’s that?) Medusa Shampoo A fluid that if injected into a fresh corpse causes it to act out the most prominent incidents of its life. Bag of holding with a hole in the bottom. just smells like cuman a neverending match. When excited shouts random words in Common Language. Read Magic won’t work (it’s magicproof). Luttfisk. Half a dozen centurypreserved ornipoochie eggs. 1 mile range. Nobody cares about it. Shiny woolen socks. Itchy pigskin gloves Misenchanted pen. but when used it backfires and the spell happens to. 46 someone else a small coin with two heads. Bloating drops. Everfull Crock of Shit. when used it paints something compleately black (but everyone else cant see it) a fine green powder that smells like cuman. in a foreign language you don’t know. The eater will crave tripe for weeks. if someone ever flips it and calls “tails” it will change to a two tails coin a small pot of paint.
com/watch?v=HiZ988uEXT8 ) A whoopie cushion that when sat on will blurt out whatever that person last ate.youtube.uk/2011/01/uroscopy. Three medicinal leeches named Curly. but at least it always comes back The immortal gobstopper.62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 A bad penny or its big brother. Won’t suck anyone who has eaten asparagus or garlic in the last 48 hours. A box of musical Hamlet cigars ( https://www. Larry and Moe. Shoulder holster for a Wand of Magic Missiles (wand not included). A never empty can of chicken broth (too useful) A runcible spoon A urinalysis colour chart ( http://spsscience.html ) and bottle The Infallible Charm against Spontaneous Combustion A nugget of purest green! An acupuncture map of a Flumph A handbook of Phrenology and rubber mallet for adjusting the lumps on a patients head Slug Nails Pan Pipes of Ennui A zipup codpeice Five spools. the sinful shilling. suck as hard as you like it never gets any smaller! (About the size of a golfball). of various sizes and colours Levitating humming maggots. A comb that can do any hairstyle.co. from 2 seasons ago. Can only be spent on rubbish. live bait for batfishing A +1 crochet hook The time written down on piece of paper A carmine stick of mustache wax and vermillion stick of phosphoric diambroid A bottle of Worcester Sauce (it’s alchemy I tell you! Nothing natural ought to taste like that!) Bicycle clips Eau de Ferret aftershave Windup Wombatbotherer A copy of ‘Cyrano de Bergerac’s 101 Sure Fire Chat Up Lines’ One of them pointy things you use to take stones out of a stayr's hoof A cedarwood box containing an Oread’s lost virginity Tuning fork carved from a living brain for encouraging cognitive dissonance A puncture repair kit for deflated egos (contains a small bottle of port and a cigar) The match foretold to burn down the world A whiff of yesterday (vaguely noisome) A flathead screw. all pages of which are fiendishly stuck together The original master mould of the human brain.blogspot. in case the first one vents A plywood cone for keeping your wizard hat nice and pointy. Spare spleen. cracked and graffitied by a rabid phrenologist cult The Little Black Book of Eastern Headbinding Techniques with Curious Illustrations of the Unusually Shaped . rather annoyed with having a two dimensional face and not afraid to let you know A freindly and faithful dog that always smells like shit no matter how many baths you give it The only extant copy of the Ultimate Tome of Transcendental Illumination.
A wellpreserved whale phallus An oversized goat head mask A magnificent glasstopped wooden display case segregated into two hundred and fifty six compartments that contain the full spectrum of colors found in accumulations of navel lint. at which point they think the wielder is trash. . The middle of a donut A windup skull with chattering teeth.102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 Two magical tickets that changes to whatever is the best show in town that night. Listening to it one can hear “You’re the Voice” The most comfortable slippers in the world. Actually an undead pretending to be an automa. The beast is perfectly happy and the grapple is perfectly functional. that makes all who behold the wielder think they are royalty until they get a good look at them in the eye. A clog The Unfuckable Buckle The Disceptre. A piglet with a grappling hook embedded in its head. Comes with a 2’ square of sticky carpet of unknown origin and a pint. but you won’t mind remembering. though the seats are always doublebooked with the most dangerous person in the audience. Each is a slackjawed giant leech that feeds on toejam. It won’t help you forget. A bottle of nameless liquor from the Galaxy of Pleasure. A seashell. One of the Seven Endless Bogrolls of Annoyingly Flimsiness A full set of Darts of Veering.
Contributions by: Barry Blatt + Reece Carter + Trey Causey + Jeremy Duncan + Richard G + Jez Gordon + Paolo Greco + Dennis Higgins Terje Nordin .
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