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New York: Harpers. Locke. de Rougemont. 38 per cent in Hollywood had voted in the last presidential election. the Wallace vote to be about 5 per cent too low. In particularhas it become fashionable to point to "romantic love" as the villain in the picture. The first encompasses the origin of courtly love in the twelfth century. calls romance "a fever" and "a passing fancy" that is "the principal reason . Many regarded the asking of the question an indication of communist sympathy on the part of the interviewer. 1950. This content downloaded from 134.. Family. 2 H. the hypothesis is here advanced that (1) courtly love and its derivative. Chap. viewed as a threat to the marital institution. knew that Vishinsky was the then Foreign Minister of the Soviet Union. J. romantic love.5. 1949. W. the second its revival at 3 E. 1950. its economic poverty amid plenty. given about five months after the election. The Family. however. Three phases of formalized love are discernible in Western culture. Anshen. Long Island University T HE rise of the divorce rate. 20 per cent in Hollywood." in R. New York: American Book Co. (2) in this function romantic love has not only not harmed the relationship of the sexes but has enhanced the status of women and softened the impact on the marital union of factors that endanger the ideological basis of this and related institutions without providing substitute values. motion picture. New York: McGraw-Hill.' for instance. seems to reveal with at times almost microscopic intensity some of the predominant features of modern urban societyits rootlessness and ruthlessness. De Rougemont.'7 17 A comparison of the Downtown sample figures with the actual vote in the area (occupied almost entirely by rooming-house residents) shows ROMANTIC LOVE HUGO G. and the imbalance between the aspiration and achievement of its inhabitants. for the growing number of divorces. 3 per cent in Hollywood. 91 per cent Downtown and 69 per cent in Hollywood did not know what country Holland had occupied. . the eagerness to provide an antidote has sometimes engendered premature conclusions. And only 9 per cent Downtown. 69 per cent in Hollywood. the Truman vote in this sample to be about 15 per cent too high. are not identical with puppy love3 but are expressions of a socio-psychological process that aims at the reconciliation of basic human needs with frustrating social conditions.34. the economically and culturally impoverished Downtown inhabitants on the other. Function. 16.326 AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICALREVIEW This kaleidoscopic survey of the tense. BEIGEL Contrary to such verdicts." A similar point of view is presented in several media intended for education in family and marital relations. "This Charming Couple. The great majority said they voted for Truman-82 per cent Downtown. Burgess and H. "The Crisis of the Modern Couple. a period when news about the Dutch military occupation of Indonesia made frequent headlines. Forty per cent Downtown. N." 16mm. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions .2 1 D. This discrepancy may be due either to the bias of the sample or to the bandwagon answers on voting in the sample questionnaire. and Destiny. competitive and individualistic roominghouse residents of Hollywood on the one hand. Owing to the emotional atmosphere surrounding this subject. The Wallace roominghouse vote was 6 per cent Downtown. Bowman. has led sociologists and psychologists to examine more closely current practices in marital selection. . Its focus is one-sided: the rooming-house seems to point up only the conflict situations-whether they be socio-economic or social-psychological-of a secular society.95 on Sun.
Courtly love was the conventionalization of a new ideal that arose in the feudal class and institutionalized certain aspects of the male-female relationship outside marriage. depreciation of the ego. New York: Wiley. We can assume that certain features in the development of an adolescent brought up in an earlier phase of our culture coincide with tendencies observable nowadays. Kultur und Sittengeschichte aoler Zeiten und Voelker. the adolescent strains his resources to impress any members of the opposite sex and one female in particular whose behavior allows anticipation of possible acceptance. C. 7 "Monumenta Germaniae" (leges II. In conformity with the Christian concept of and contempt for sex. it is denied satisfaction. and from culture-bred frustrations. Vedel. We can thus confine ourselves to summarize merely the points essential to the present discussion. Family and Democratic Society. Mittelalterliche Kulturideale. Sturtevant. New York: American Book Co. are universal. Leipzig. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions . The first phase is called courtly love. poems. Abstinence and celibacy being among the highest religious ideals and sexual immorality being threatened with hellfire.5. It made maze (moderation) a masculine virtue. Wolfram von Eschenbach.8 While the sexual drive rises to its greatest intensity during adolescence. By application of the religious concept of abstract love to the "mistress. or minne. was endowed with higher and more general values: gentleness and refinement.4 Gleichen-Russwurm. 6 V. Being the spiritualization and the sublimation of carnal desire. and an occasional trespassing with females outside one's class to feed the hope for more. Those produced by the physiological maturation of the organism. explicitly sworn to in the oath the young nobleman had to take at the dubbing ceremony. 1917. Vigalois. and epics depict its form and the feelings involved. from a deeply felt desire for the ennoblement of human relations. Unless hope is realized or relinquished. In this manner sexual covetousness was deflected and the marital rights of husbands were-theoretically at least-safeguarded. Berlin: Bong. such love was deemed to be impossible between husband and wife. there is sufficient erotic stimulation from talk. 1950. 5 A. Arlitt. the presupposition for mine was chastity. Der arme Heinrich. Unselfish service to the noble lady became a duty of the knight. 1933.5 Vedel6 and others. 1920.ROMANTIC LOVE the turn of the nineteenth century. A. by means of such formalization the aggressiveness of unfulfilled cravings was channeled into codes and causes. 327 riage with the result that basic human needs were left unsatisfied.. This content downloaded from 134. 9 K. 1916. and medieval literature gives some evidence of the emotions involved in self-discovery and the experience of change at this age. Folsom. In spite of the surface appearance of its aesthetic formulation. von Gleichen-Russwurm. New York: Prentice-Hall. who had lost her economic function. Adolescent Psychology.34.95 on Sun. from visual stimuli. Hartmann von Aue. Natur und Geisteswelt. The fact that it is in the first place the sexual drive that was frustrated in this love relationship suggests an analogy with adolescent love. K. 1943. vital needs. H. for instance. it sprang from.9 While sexual relations cannot be established before marriage. and the third its present state and significance for marital selection. Parzival. and many literary documents.7Part of this service was ritualized." the married woman of the ruling class. The phantasy is quickened and the suppression of the intensified desires results in a high emotionality which seeks for vicarious outlets. The 8 Chretiens de Troyes. The Psychology of A dolescence. 363) in E. Vom guten Ton im Wandel der Jahrhunderte. Courtly love-in retrospect called romantic love-consequently was not a whimsical play. Zurich: Gutenberg Verlag. Wirnt von Gravenberg. I'amoor de lonk (distant love). Garrison. and a heightening of the ego ideal. conflicts are created that lead to feelings of guilt. The history and practices of courtly love have been described by Folsom. Percival (Conte del graal). This was obviously an important provision in an age in which social rules prevented free choice of a mate for mar4 J.
. 1915. 1921. the group code. and self-punishment. reflects favorably on the quality of the one accepted. was propagated by the Romanticists. are subordinated to socially acknowledged causes or such feats as can be interpreted as good causes. who tries to live up to moral perfection and thus to the beloved's assumed higher standard. it influenced greatly the emotional development of the group as a whole.5. The adolescent's showing-off attitude has its counterpart in the medieval knight's search for adventures and in the tournaments he fought for his mistress. blazer. Berlin: Bondi. op. even the refusal of sexual gratification is taken as an indication of greater self-control and moral strength.95 on Sun. As do adolescent relations.34. though recognized as precious. The love symbols are similar. The lover having become a drutz1" had the right to 10 H. The female. this has the effect that softer virtues often take precedence over coarser forms of behavior. und 20. 232. Meyer. and as the mistress wore her gallant's blood-stained shirt so may a girl today wear her boy's pin. Goeschen. Die Literatur des 19. 1910. Dichtungen aus mittelhochdeutscher Fruehzeit.12' 13 we limit ourselves again to an outline of those trends that have direct bearing on our subject. means are display of masculine skill and prowess which. and the magnanimousgentleness of the male consciously into the relation between the sexes. on the other hand. Vows of self-improvement alternate with feelings of unworthiness and moments of expansive self-feeling. The cultural significance of this concept lies in the fact that the idealization of the female initiated her social elevation and that it introduced voluntary fidelity. under the influence of religious teachings. the bourgeois adaptation of courtly love. Jahrhunderts. Presupposing the knowledge of the historic and socio-economic roots of the Romantic movement. and the substitute for the mother. in general. M. Under the influence of the cherished tales of oriental love refinement. and the masculine ideal. Vols. and to put her to bed. In formulating the idea of romantic love. Sometimes he was even allowed to sleep with her if he promised to content himself with a kiss. who sent his little finger to his mistress and drank the water in which she had washed. grows to be the ideal audience and the representative for the super-ego. 13 L. courtly love provided partial satisfactions of the sexual desire. Jantzen (ed. Romantik. For this service she is idealized. cit. Certain feats like those of Ulrich von Lichtenstein. any sign of approval by her is interpreted as acceptance and props up the wavering self-esteem. restraint. This content downloaded from 134. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions . who had himself sewn into a bear's hide and hunted. are rarely experienced in adulthood with the same ardor. The lover who has reached the fourth and highest state in the ritual of courtly love and is accepted. Such and many more similarities provoke the conclusion that courtly love represents the aesthetization of adolescent feelings which. the adolescent does not aim at permanent possession of the female. 137. Walzel. Leipzig. The striving to prove one's independence and manliness finds expression in the search for adventures. the object to be obtained. 11 Gleichen-Russwurm. 12 R. the pyre of adolescent emotions was artificially kept burning.328 AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICAL REVIEW accompany his lady to her bedchamber. producing that subtler form of male-female relations that exploited the elations and depressions of enforced chastity for the ennoblement of the mind and gave the newly consolidated ruling class moral distinction over the crude indulgence of the masses. 233. As the idea spread. qualities that were not considered essential or even possible in a marriagebased on the semi-patriarchal concept of the Middle Ages.10 have their parallels in the adolescent's obsessional yearning to impress the chosen female by valiance. self-sacrifice. Love tests are frequent. being at the same time the weaker competitor. or of Peire Vidal. or baseball hat. the adolescent feels the one-ness with the beloved by wearing a lock of her hair or a ribbon near his heart as the knight felt it when he tied her veil around his armor. Such greatness. This penetration became evident when romantic love. Leipzig. Natur und Geisteswelt. to undress her to the skin. While.
Under the increasing discomfort in a changing civilization. it was addressed not to the married woman. the men of letters of those days pointed out both the immorality of the aristocratic solution and the sterility of the bourgeois pattern. The adaptation noticeable in the ascending bourgeois class followed the same line-inteM. to be sure. gifts. Marriage.The court society of the Baroque14and the Rococo periods. England.The model for the bond between the sexes was the complex of feelings so graciously depicted in medieval romances. . together with the child's loss of economic function. Spain. Taschenbuch zum geselligen Vergnuegen. the aristocratic class had found a way to alleviate the defects of a family-prescribed monogamous marriage by dividing duty and satisfaction. 1938. especially in the male personality. Of course.ROMANTIC LOVE the Romanticists merely propounded a concept that had become a socio-psychological necessity. and political functions were gone. Capitalism.the all-devouring materialism and rationalism. "Barocque. op. Continuing on the tracks laid by the concept of courtly love. as an anonymous writer. Penguin Books. revolutions. to the marriageable maiden." But during the months between engagement and marriage the bethrothed was expected to "court" the girl and to display his emotional fervor in conversation.16 "the asso16 "Alte und neue Zeit. and wars had shaken the foundations of beliefs and traditions. the dissolution of the broader family had progressed to the point where its economic.. for the first time. their religious ideas. actually integrated sex and love-though only outside marriage. they propagated its legitimization and thus its perpetuation in marriage. However. The refined concept had filtered down from the castles to the cities. This content downloaded from 134. The medieval concept had drawn a line between the spiritual and the animalicsexual. love had dropped its cloak of sublimation. and the status of the wife was by no means enviable. reformed to further their purposes. We thus encounter a third stage in the Religion and the Rise of 15 R. a fact that. Reformation. Preceded by the English novelist Samuel Richardson (1689-1761). by rewarding the gallant's deeds and duels with carnal favors. cit. Yet. 1805. the Netherlands. Tawny. gave them moral support in their ultimate contest with the group in power") did not permit them to accept illicit relationships as a solution of the problem. the Romanticists rebelled against the progressingde-humanization. vol. As a result of industrialization and mercantilization the father's authority had decreased and the children remained longer under the more emotionally-oriented care of the mother." reprinted in Sturtevant. cit. . and we were shielded from them as from chicken pox. (which. H. wrote in her diary published Dosthumouslv in 1805." in Gleichen-Russwurm. But the verbiage of courtly love had entered the relation of the sexes. the nobles of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries in Austria. religious. ciation with the opposite sex was not yet invented then (about 1760) . France. effected a gradual change in personality. Ursula Margareta. 11.5. With increasing urbanization the impact of social isolation made itself felt upon the individual. and its realization was henceforth called romance or romantic love. Being the first to feel the pinch of the technological development on the treasured ideology of individualism. op. 14 329 gration of sex and love-with the important difference that their economic struggle. who is credited with having said first that love is needed for marriage. etc. and sought escape from these dangers in the wonders of the emotions.34. Yet. and poetry. their tradition of thrift. was still arranged on a family basis with an eye on business. this was hardly possible before the betrothal since.95 on Sun. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions . between love and marriage. still adhered to the tenet that love and marriage were irreconcilable. Visualizing love as an antidote to the insecurity produced by social and technological changes. In the basic feelings of humanity they hoped to find security and a substitute for the eliminated cultural values. the woman reserved her loyalty for her husband and her love for her gallant. Harmondsworth. they had not remained unaffected by the ideology of earthly love. Starting in the fourteenth century. Carrikre. but.
The American concept that considers individual happiness development of love relations. spoiled by civilization. a companion who confirms the value of his ideas and thus of his personality. in which the rational powers do not operate at their optimum.330 AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICAL REVIEW analogy to the adolescent's defensive attitude toward practical adult goals is evident. The romantic love relationship itself was pervaded by melancholy and Weltschmerz (world-woe). minimizing the sexual aspect. like a hero or like a sinner. the second justified with love adulterous sex relations to ease the burden of an unreformed monogamy. Like courtly love. Simultaneously proud and afraid of his discoveries. having severed his emotional ties with his protective elders and craving new attachments. full of defiance or full of resolutions to prove himself better than anyone else. might find the way back to his better self. While in the romanticconcept the adventuresof the mind were valued over fighting and fencing. The female was idealized because of her ('natural') kindness. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions . an attitude that contrasts clearly with the adult behavior normally aspired to. another trend that is generally encountered in adolescence when the young person. who. striving.34. the third aimed at the integration of love and marriage. on the other hand.95 on Sun. chosen for the fight against either the traditions or the temptations. the ideal of masculinity.5. his broadening experience and knowledge. especially those which are antagonistic to the fulfillment of his desires. and thoughts he feels like a castaway or like a revolutionary. It was promulgatedby the first spokesnen of the bourgeois culture. Unable to turn to his parents. someone to confide to. the concept of the Romanticists leaned noticeably on adolescent experiences. exuberations and depressions were the raw material for romantic love which. and the sex drive usually direct the choice toward heterosexual relations. he seeks reassurance. and erring deviate. but is typical of adolescence." After a period of homosexual friendships. inspired by the female's love. By the end of the nineteenth century love had won its battle along the whole line in the upper sections of the middle class. It has since been regarded as the most important prerequisite to marriage. results the claim to uniqueness and originality. and her nearness to nature. conflict. but the latter was to be sanctified by the former. the social conventions. It established a hierarchy of characteristics that marked predestined affection. From the same experience. In this whirl of contradictions. who in a quickly changing world are no longer considered revered guides but old-fashioned antagonists. who pleaded for the right of the young people to make their own choice for marriage on the basis of their feelings. romanticlove acknowledgedthe value of certain pre-adult emotions. This combination raised-though only ideologically at first-the woman of the middle class to the status which heretofore only the aristocratic lady had achieved in relation to the man. No longer was there to be a cleavage between the spirituality of love and the marital sex relation. her intuition. the same relations whose secrecy. wishes. self-recognition. in comparison with the still child-like ego ideal. he can find assurance only with a friend who seems to be shaken by similar convulsions and consequently "understands. Owing to his maturing mental powers. This tendency corresponds to the adolescent's moments of magnified feelings of inferiority in the face of the female's greater poise and virtue and the elation when he is accepted nevertheless. Though less ritualized than minne. finds himself abandoned and. introduced friendship between the sexes. rebellious emotions. The male conceived of himself as a restless. mood of conspiracy. the adolescent frequently senses suddenly some of the discrepancies between reality and the moral teachings of his group. The first admitted certain formalized features of adolescent feelings into the adult relationship to bridge the dichotomy between sublimated sex desires and the prevailing sex-hostile ideology. sensitivity and the preservation of one's "true" and original self were elevated to moral qualities. Economic and status considerationswere belittled. Foremost among them was emotional instead of rational evaluation. The This content downloaded from 134. inadequate.
conversely. while estimates as to the frequency of love as a motive for marriage vary. marital counselors are agreed that love is more often presented as a reason for an intended marriage than feelings and circumstances warrant. it is one selective factor operating within the controls imposed upon the mates by our culture. Sex competition.ROMANTIC LOVE the chief purpose of marriage is based entirely on this ideology. op. but is a derivative. Merril. to blame love for the failures of marital unions in general -is therefore unjustified. E. however. Everyone knew of it and it was a 19 A. This fact must. she frequently uses such favors to reward or stimulate emotional expressions without regard to her own sex drive. however. on the other hand. who is in the privileged position to extend or withhold sexual favors. There arises. Actually. "having fun together. Lady Montague20 wrote that in Vienna every woman of social standing had two men. cit. love is rarely the only consideration upon which marriage is contracted. In any case. Overlooked also is the fact that divorce is now more generally available than before. These controls involve age. is based more often on anticipation of marital joys. As contact between the sexes is freer. cit. Is this love identical with the formalized concept of romantic love? Certainly. op. 1950). is. these seem to be greatly attenuated by a presumed necessity caused by a socially cultivated sexual competition.34." American Sociological Review. 1949. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions . 17 331 teenth centuries were grants made by the man to the female. In blaming its rise on the inadequacy of love as a selective agent. Under these circumstances. on the whole. her husband and her lover. love in our day and in this country. 20 Carriere. New York: Sloane Associates. has become a demand of the female." and pursuit of common interests. This content downloaded from 134. "Cultural Factors in the Selection of Marriage Mates. As a result of the prevailing dating convention and its concomitant early initiation of the sexes on a social basis. they tend to create the impression that the majority of marriages are based on romantic love and that there is a deplorable causative relation between this circumstance and the record the United States holds regarding divorce. the judges omit several considerations. however.19and the thus defined field is furthermorenarrowedby regional proximity. not be confused with the allegations that the combination of romance and marriage is a specific American feature'7 or that marriage in this country is influenced to a unique degree by romantic love. though still vacillating between joy and depression. Hollingshead. What marital life in the leading group looked like before the admission of either love or divorce can be gathered from any studies of the Baroque and Rococo periods. especially since a great number of marriages are contracted for reasons other than mutual love. religion. Rather.95 on Sun. Thus it appears that the modern love concept is not identical with romantic love. the divorce rate cannot be taken as the sole indication of failure. owing to their greater independence and the diminishing outside interference. the all-pervading melancholy is relatively rare among young adults. partial sexual outlets are frequently provided. a second question. particularly potent among girls. less sentimentally sad and. The love conventions of the twelfth and the nineBurgess.'8 Doubtful as such assertions are in the absence of quantitative studies. ethnic origin. cooperation. the over-idealization of the female (the keynote in both courtly and romantic love) is curbed. To give but one example: in 1716. such as whether marriages contracted for economic or similar reasons do not work out worse and whether every failing marriage ends in divorce. 18 F. and class. the mood of lovers. Courtship and Marriage. But whatever form it takes.5. tends to blur the line between the excitations of love and those of an aggressive ambition. B. race. 619-627. modified in concord with the conditions of our age and based more on ego demands than on ideal demands. 15 (Oct. And while such activities may still be followed by feelings of guilt. Her own desire probably being lessened by culturally necessitated repressions.
But it is less often the affectionate feeling that hampers the evaluation of the future mate's personality than it is the disregard of personality factors when the determination to get married results in confusing thwarted ambition or feelings of inferiority with love. She certainly is judged differently when she succumbs to the latter for pecuniary considerations. There is no doubt that such pressurecooker recipes for happiness do not presage well for marriage. As a matter of fact.34.5. This tendency is greatly augmented since the motion picture industry. it was obviously not the combination of love and marriage that destroyed marital relations in Western culture. does not guarantee satisfaction in the marital union. the integration of love with marriage is an attempt at adjustment in the light of social concepts that outgrew the inadequate monogamousinstitution. or material security or betterment of status. It has become the condition that allows the woman to lift the severe sex taboo imposed on her. though important. his wife for representative purposes. there are no other positive agents left for mate selection except economic factors. unerotic. breaks down all bars of class or education. love is not the panacea as which it is sometimes presented. unfailingly cures all moral defects and inevitably solves all possible problems when it is transposedinto marriage. of course. But pretense need not be so evident. sex. or the desire to escape depressing home restrictions is satisfied-are experienced as love and allowed to determine the selection of the mate. love has attained an exceptional state with regard to sex. family pressure. Rather. unconquerable. As a result. nor can they minimize the function love has actually attained in selection for marriage. innumerable magazines and hack-written novels have undertaken to carry a cheap counterfeit of romantic love to the masses.95 on Sun. For with the collective aspect of marriage. the male uses the language and gestures of love to obtain temporarilydesired sexual favors. and his mistress for aesthetic conversations. family coherence. his manceba (lady friend) for sexual. a man was said to have three women. and absolutely unselfish love that strikes at first sight. and the economic function of wife and offspring gone. Equally dangerous is self-deception. a certain amount of pretense is.21 Thus. and longing for the promised elations she views any approaching male under the aspect of marriage-the happy ending of the industrio-cultural literary products without any consideration of personality or moral values. While this requirement is officially waived only when she marries. she tries to approximate her models by inflating her meager feelings. Not being able to find the expected miracles in her mild likings. many people will profess love even though they have married for different reasons. Especially in early marriages it happens often that undiluted adolescent feelings-such as the relief felt when the need to assert one's power and personality or one's independence. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions .332 AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICAL REVIEW the female frequently interprets his "line" as love to avoid losing his attention. Sexual cravings are easily mistaken for love. cit. As with every institutionalized emotion. op. By autosuggestion and imitation she can usually convince herself of the unfathomable depth of her affection to anyone who speaks of love. and personality assets. The first. Undoubtedly. to be expected. The heroines of these products do not know of any attraction to a man except overwhelming. in the seventeenth century. and 21 Sturtevant. serious offense to invite a lady to a party without asking both of her men. Since love is considered the noblest motive for marriage. for instance.Identifying herself with these stereotypes the young female movie-goer recognizes similarities between these and her own problems. the implicit supposition is that she may enter a sex relationshiponly when she is motivated by affectionate feelings. This content downloaded from 134. it frequently serves as an extenuating circumstance when she enters an illicit relationship. But such immature ideas cannot be blamed on love itself. Matters were similar for men in the higher social classes of all civilized countries with the exception of Spain where.
the emancipation of the female. Exposed to the high tensions of the modern work day and an unceasing brutal competition. romantic love. on moral support and common interests. It is doubtful. So long. by lack of any conceptual hold on the world in which he lives. on understanding and mutual assistance in emotional conflicts. however. Instead. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions . the attraction produced by psycho-sexual emotions is taken as an indication of mutual suitability. Seen in proper perspective. few are available outside love. Reduced through technological progress to a negligible nut in an incomprehensible machine.95 on Sun. it is also a fact that in a sexually gratifying relationship that has been built on love. whether the imperfect remedy can be blamed for the illness. are the closest substitute for tests. next to the psychotherapist. With the social control weakened in this respect. such high expec- 333 tations are likely to make the marital union precarious. Thus love-and only in connection with it marriage-has become the state from which compensation for all emotional frustrations is expected. however. Sex as a selective agent is ineffectual in our culture since the premarital testing of sexual compatibility is interdicted. social and economic near-equalityhas given women sufficientindependenceto allow most of them a choice. but it has mitigated the impact that a toofast-moving and unorganized conversion to new socio-economic constellations has had upon our whole culture and it has saved monogamous marriage from complete disorganization. What love does. those produced by social isolation. Only here can he find shelter from an inimical world. It does not. But while it is true that the aura of divinity is not habit-resistant. for the female whose training still compels her to repress all sex-tinged desires. and by lack of work satisfaction. only love that helps her to overcome her inhibitions. fulfill this expectation. This content downloaded from 134. It is not impossible that with the progressing de-individualization inherent in our industrial orientation. confused by tumbling and contradictory moral values. on mutual confirmation and emotional security-unavailable anywhere else -the chance of creating an atmosphere of loyalty and friendship. that is. like the medieval knight take off his armor without fear. In our time. and. Only here can he be himself and expect to be accepted in all his imperfection and with all his unfulfilled secret yearnings. the intolerableness of the economic dependence of the female on the male has added impetus to the acceptance of the love concept. They need not-at least not to the same extent as in former times-accept their husband's will and whim as their lot. Of these. For. and the higher educational level of the middle classes have equally contributed to the brittleness of the marital institution. Of course. and their modern derivative should be considered cultural phenomena evolved from basic human feelings that have gradually developed forms useful as replacements for discarded or decaying cultural concepts.ROMANTIC LOVE As a matter of fact. who would think of doing away with them even if he could? Nor is it sensible to argue that marriage is irreconcilablewith romance because sexual fulfillment and the intimacies of everyday life break down the idealization resulting from the sublimation of the sexual desire. he can regain the feeling of self-importance only in love. it is. True. of course. it has not only done no harm as a prerequisite to marriage.5. To measure its effect on marriage it must be judged in its true form and not in poor falsifications. but feelings of love. the burning craving cannot last. of which this attraction is a part. sexual reproduction will some day be entirely divorced from individual personality preferences and based on a scientific biological-eugenic basis. Yet. To summarize: courtly love. only affection or considerationof the children can bind a woman to her husband. Even so. is to satisfy man's most urgent psychological needs. her demand for mutuality of sex satisfactions. Similarly is it true that emotions provide no objective measurement for the future mate's personality. tolerance and confidence are greater than in any other. Love aims at and assists in the adjustment to frustrating experiences. man seeks relief in emotional satisfactions.34.
DATING THEORIES AND STUDENT RESPONSES SAMUEL HARMAN LOWRIE Bowling Green State University the past decade and a half dating has been given increasing attention in the literature dealing with marriage and the family.5." and "it seems curious that most of us are inclined to regard 2 Willard Waller.34."4 It is characterized by effort by each party to deceive the other through a pretense of love and devotion. IN dating is that of Waller. 2 (October. 4 "The Rating and Dating Complex. has been found-out of a number examined-that lists dating or any of its derivatives in the index. p. but only few positive factors in mate selection. In contrast. 1937). A Dynamic Interpretation. its relationship to courtship. The purpose of this article is to compare the more distinct theories and to check them in a limited way through inquiry among high school and college students. pp. love provides one of the dissuade young people from love. writes Waller. The Family."5 If in spite of themselves the parties find they are in love with each other."3 "regarded as amusement" and "largely dominated by the quest of the thrill." American Sociological Review. Waller's description of the process in 1937 was a powerful stimulus toward scientific recognition of the subject. 727-734. 230-235. That it is new and peculiarly American seems to be fairly well accepted. in so doing. sure the satisfaction of emotional. why it has arisen. cit. Though dating has gained a place in sociological writings. 728. 5 Ibid.95 on Sun. what dating is. allow. The phenomenonof dating.2To him dating is a "competitive." "aim-inhibited" form of association between the sexes "in the period of dalliance which intervenes between puberty and mating. On the other hand. however. 23 Jun 2013 06:44:23 AM All use subject to JSTOR Terms and Conditions .. there is no agreement about its meaning or the social ends it serves.334 AMERICAN SOCIOLOGICAL REVIEW however. published before that year. p. 235. the solution. the relationship ceases to be dating and becomes courtship. sexual. "The Rating and Dating Complex. cit. 729. This content downloaded from 134. It is not mate which must balance each other to enfree of shortcomings. 6 The Family. the boy by "thrills from the body of the woman. no agreement on the theory of the dating process has been reached.to aid them in the discrimination of those ing relief and emotional gratification in the qualities in themselves and the prospective enormous stress of civilization. 3 Waller. op. and its bearing on marriage are divergently and at times contradictorily defined. p. New York: The Cordon Company. some of them in more than one form. Among the most extreme conceptions of IWillard Waller. the cultural innovation and its integration with greater durability of their union. 1938." op. and The Family. the functions it performs. In other words. A Dynamic Interpretation. To the extent that either succeeds in his deception he exploits the other."6Decay of the traditional mores of courtship "has made possible the emergence of thrill seeking and exploitative relationships. as human society has not taken an old unreformed institution cannot be to this ultimate step. A Dynamic Interpretation.. 230. "appears only where there is a large group of young persons who are definitely understood to be postponing marriage. p. of twenty-one of the more prominent texts published since that time two-thirds index the term.' No college text on marriageor the family.. the girl by obtaining expensive favors. for the alleviation of ills concomitant to any and personality needs and.
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