TEENAGE GUIDANCE

By Raj Karki

FOREWORD
Can you fill the bottle, whose mouth is sealed with water? Probably, you can’t. Like that before reading this book, open your mind. Then only this book can fill your mind.
Before starting I want to say something. There is an old saying: “We learn better from experience than study.” But I believe it is not completely true. Both experience and studying have equal value. Whereas if you can properly follow what you have studied then, studying is far better than experience. So what should be said is: “Improving yourself through experience or studying is far better than just experiencing or studying and doing nothing.” But one bitter fact is that experience creates pressure on us to improve whereas studying only make us aware. Here’s an example, a well educated person knows exercising is beneficial and being overweight is harmful. But also he ignores to

do exercise and moreover eats a lot of unhealthy food. Later in life he may experience diabetes and heart diseases. At that time it will be too much late and he will have to face “do or die” condition. Hence he will have to exercise and eat healthy diet willingly or unwillingly. Another example is, many teenagers don’t hesitate or feel sorry about spending on unnecessary things, even though their parents tell them or even though they read in book that it is very difficult to earn money and money should be saved. But they ignore all these facts. Later, when they starts to earn money, they experience, how much difficult it is to earn money and says the same thing to their children which theirs parents had told them previously. At that time, they are even forced to limit their necessary or unnecessary expense otherwise they will not be able to fulfill their other more important responsibility. I think, now you might have understood why the saying:” We learn better from experience than studying” got popular. What I want to say is, it don’t matter how much you study or experience. The real thing which matters the most is, how much you learn from your experience or study and how much you apply into your life. But, in this 21st century you should give high priority to learn from

studying because if you give high priority to learn from experience then, you will remain backward. Learning from study or mistake of other is more effective, efficient and beneficial than learning by again repeating that same mistake yourself which other had done. So, start to make self study a habit and try to learn from everything around you. At last, remember that this book is not a magical book so it doesn’t make you better person over a night. And only studying this book also won’t make you better person. So, be patience and try to learn and apply whatever you study into your life. Remember it isn’t a author who makes a book valuable (although author is also important) but it is you. If you seriously learn and apply whatever you study then any book can be valuable.

For Parents

Children are like a piece of glass, if you try to hold it firmly then it will only hurt you but if you let it go then it will break in pieces. So, what should you do is, hold it gently and with care.

Information about writer
Name: Raj Karki D.O.B: 2053/03/29 Mother’s name: Parbati Karki Father’s name: Surya Bdr. Karki Facebook Page: Teenage Guidance Current Studying: Tilottama College, Butwal, Nepal Email: rajkarki286@gmail.com About this book: I have prepared this book during the three month holiday after S.L.C (2069/70). And I want this book to be accessible to all the youth and teenager in very low cost possible.

Share this Part I. Other chapter will be posted in my Facebook page: Teenage Guidance soon

CONTENTS
Part I Drug, smoking and alcohol
1. Addiction 9 2. Understanding addiction 13 3. Signs and symptoms of addiction 4. Gambling 5. Alcoholism 6. Smoking 7. Drug addiction 8. Causes of drugs, alcohol & smoking addiction and gambling 9. Solution to addiction 10. Final words

Part II

Teenage life
11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. Teenage life Value of time Teenage love Understanding sex Sexual abuse and bullying Depression Facts behind stage Five major mistakes by teen Learn to say ‘NO’ Are you a materialistic

Part III Life guide
21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. Stay healthy Earn money Be successful Set your goal Be productive Avoid procrastination Cultivate new habit Start meditation

29. Spend your time with good people 30. Get motivated

Part IV Academic guide 31. Way to study effectively
32. 33. 34. 35. Get motivated to study Improve your focus Improve your memory Exam tips

PART: I
Chapter: 1 Addiction
Addiction is the continuous use of a mood altering substance or behaviour despite of adverse consequences. Or neurological impairment due to which such behaviour occurs even though one try to avoid it. Either you believe it or not there are various types of addiction and some of them are: 1. Drug abuse. 2. Smoking and alcoholism. 3. Gambling. 4. Sexual addiction and pornography addiction. 5. Internet addiction, social networking addiction and television addiction.

Everything which is done too much so, that it starts to effect normal life can be regarded as addiction. There are even addictions of work, exercise and to buy things (shopping). All addiction carries various disadvantages and can affect our normal life, career, relationships, mental and physical aspects. But all addiction doesn’t carry same level or degree of effects. Some are more harmful and some are less. One real fact is that addiction is always harmful and it affects your life somehow. Technically, in addiction habits and patterns which are associated with it are typically characterized by immediate gratification (short-term reward), leading to long lasting effects (long-term costs) In addiction physiological dependence occurs when the body has to adjust to the substance by

incorporating the substance into its normal functioning. This state creates the conditions of tolerance and withdrawal. Before moving forward to other chapters it will better to understand these two terms related to addiction: 1. Tolerance Tolerance is the process by which the body adapts to the substance and requires increasingly larger amounts to achieve the original effects. 2. Withdrawal Withdrawal refers to physical and psychological symptoms experienced when reducing or discontinuing a substance that the body has become dependent on. Symptoms of withdrawal generally includes but are not limited to anxiety, irritability, intense cravings for the substances, nausea, hallucinations, headaches, cold, sweats, and tremors.

Chapter: 2 Understanding Addiction
In this chapter I’ll try to make you understand about addiction, so keep on reading. Some part of our brain releases a chemical called dopamine due to certain behaviour and that chemical gives pleasure or satisfaction. These feelings of satisfaction become a desire and the person wants to repeat the same behaviour that causes release of dopamine. For example, food and sex releases dopamine, that’s why people want to eat food (especially sweet food because it releases more dopamine) even they are full and wants to have sex even they don’t need a child or even when it isn’t a right time.

Similarly, pleasure or satisfaction gained by release of dopamine causes impacts on brain and helps users to learn quickly to do those behaviour which releases dopamine. That’s why even a small child learns to suck mother’s milk easily. And that’s why it is not very hard to learn to watch TV because various scenes of TV also help to release dopamine. All the activity which releases dopamine can make you addict. But some substances like drug, cigarette, alcohol and behaviour like gambling can make you addict easily and can cause a lots of damage. These kinds of substances directly stimulate the part of our brain which releases dopamine. Thus it causes to release two-ten times more amount of dopamine than our brain releases normally, giving the user sense of rush or high (extreme pleasure). And if an activity or use of substance releases more amount of dopamine then we will learn more quickly to do that activity or

use that substance. That’s why due to release of more dopamine user learns to use the substances like drugs, alcohol and cigarettes more quickly. And slowly, slowly due to continuous use, it becomes a habit to use that substance and to get that much pleasure. Overtime due to prolong use of such substances brain stops to release as much dopamine as it previously used to release when using such substances. This increases the level tolerance leading to physical dependency. That’s why person needs to involve in more intense use of such substances just to feel normal or to get that kind of pleasure experienced in initial use of such substances. This works like vicious circle which will be difficult to break. Thus, due to quicker process of learning, increasing in level of tolerance and formation of habit to use such substance, user becomes a addict. As a result, the user loses control over the act of taking addicted substance or engaging in

addicted activity. So he/she tries to engage in such activity or use such substance as much as he cans even forgetting all kind of responsibility. In this way, addiction happens.

Chapter: 3 Signs And Symptoms Of Addiction
Some symptoms which can be experienced by addicted person himself/herself are: i. Tolerance increases that’s why needs to engage in addictive substance becomes more and more to get desired effect. ii. Withdrawal happens when the person doesn’t take the addicted substance or engage in addicted behaviour (like gambling). Thus, experience unpleasant symptoms. iii. It becomes difficult in cutting down or controlling the addicted behaviour or substance.

iv. v.

Social, occupational and recreational activities gets hampered. Addicted person spends most of his/her time in thinking and planning about getting addicted substances (like drugs, alcohol, cigarettes, etc). He/she spends all his/her money to buy such substances even by lying, thieving, selling his/her own properties or being criminal.

Some common signs which can be observed in addicted person by other people are: i. Extreme changes in mood occur in short time. Like being sometime really happy, sometime really sad, sometime anxious, sometime exited and so on. But these types of mood change are also common in nonaddicted teenagers. As teenage is the period of stress.

ii.

Sleeping more or less than usual or sleeping at different times of day or night. iii. Unexpectedly changes in energy. So addicted person sometimes feels extremely tired or sometimes feels extremely energetic. iv. Unexpected weight loss or weight gain. v. Secretiveness and lying behaviour are seen. vi. Stealing behaviour can also be seen. vii. Addicted person sometimes holds a large amounts of money and sometimes don’t bear any money. viii. Changes in social groups and new or unusual friends can be observed. ix. Repeatedly going outside without explaining, often with a sense of urgency. x. Drugs or other addictive substance being stashed can be seen with addicted person.

xi.

Problems at school, frequently missing school, sudden disinterest in study or sudden drop in grade.

Above given are just signs and symptoms of addictions. Sometimes some of above mentioned signs can also be seen in non-addicted person due to various reasons. So, don’t jump into conclusion and blame someone of addiction but keep a little distance with such person. Before blaming other be sure and have strong evidence and don’t forget to take the opinion of the person about this matter if you think he/she is addict.

Chapter: 4 Gambling
Gambling is the wagering of money or something of material value (stakes) on an event with an uncertain outcome with the primary intent of winning additional money and/or material goods. Generally gambling includes playing cards or anything which is mostly based on lucks (like khokhode, kauda, poker, etc). Gambling is the common practice in our society even culturally and is the means to spend leisure time. Gambling looks simple and you may think that there is nothing wrong in gambling. This is because you see elders gambling, movie-star gambling in movie, friends gambling, etc. And when we see something too much we

become unable to see its total impact and start to think it as a normal. Let me give you a example, if you see a small plant daily then you will not notice its growth. But if you see it after a long interval of time then you will notice its growth more easily. That’s why you are unable to see total impacts of gambling. Gambling also releases dopamine. Excitement and happiness caused by winning helps to release dopamine. And relief from stress or pressure, felt after not losing also helps to release in dopamine. Studies shows only 4% of participants who gamble have high chance of being addict gambler. It’s a good news, isn’t it? But, who knows your name can also be in that 4%. Let’s see what happens if you become an addict gambler. At that point, most part of your brain will be occupied by gambling. You will get disinterested to other activity and even

forget to sleep and eat when you gamble. You even become exited and encouraged by just chance of winning. So, you just gamble and gamble even after continuously loosing, with a hope to win and get back all your money you lost while gambling. And even after winning money, you want to play more. Again, at last you will lose all the money. At some point you realize that what you are doing is not good thing, you think about your family and career. Then you will try to get rid of gambling. But also you will be unable to get rid of it. To be free from all your tension and problem you again indulge in gambling. Again at some point you realize about your problem and try to get rid of gambling habit but you will again fail. This cycle of realizing and again gambling continuously repeats. You will feel hopeless; you start to think that you need money to rebuild the life and career. And you will regard gambling as an only

solution and way to get money. You even sell your property, steal and lie to other to manage money for gambling. Now imagine if you were a real addict gambler, how your life would will have been. Just, think about pain and misery you and people around you have to face. Think how problem will squeeze not only you but also your whole family. If you become a addict gambler, you will only indulge in gambling and lose all your hope to get rid of it. And this kind of addiction won’t stop easily unless you get proper help or determine to control it like a real man. But no one can guarantee if you can be free from it or not. And even if you become free, it is not possible to return to your previous state. At that time you will have lost your lot of money, time, and your career and you may even lost your only source of love and support in this world i.e. your family and friends.

There are many effect of gambling but can you give me only one good reason to gamble? Can you? Instead of gambling you can choose various good methods to get satisfied, happy and spend your leisure time. So, don’t waste your valuable time and life in something worthless and harmful activity like gambling. There are thousands of good ways to enjoy and feel good. Remember, good things always bring good rewards whereas bad things always bring bad rewards

Chapter: 5 Alcoholism
Alcoholism is a broad term for problems related with alcohol and is generally used to mean compulsive and uncontrolled use of alcoholic beverages up to that level in which drunkard’s health, personal relationships, and social life get affected. Progression in behaviour of alcoholic can be separated into four different stages, which are: i. First stage When a person is introduced to alcohol he/she enjoys the happy feeling it produces. ii. Second stage Person starts to think that consumption of alcohol has no effect

because in the initial stage he/she only experiences pleasure and do not generally experiences negative symptoms. So, drunkard wills again drinks to feel the intense pleasure experienced in the first stage. iii. Third stage Due to prolong consumption of alcohol physical changes occurs and tolerance level increases but it won’t be noticeable to drunkard or others. Due to increase in tolerance, person needs to increase the volume of alcohol consumption to experience original pleasure. At this same stage physical and social consequences starts to appear i.e. hangovers, family problems, work problems etc. But also drunkard continues to drink excessively ignoring the problems and consequences. iv. Fourth stage At this stage a drunkard becomes physically dependent on

alcohol and many such addict drunkards will keep on drinking alcohol to avoid withdrawal sickness, just to feel normal and to forget about tensions and problems for a while. At last, due to long term drinking of alcohol various organs gets damaged and even causes premature death. These are the four stages which shows how alcoholic person progress. Consuming alcohol causes severe types of physical, psychological, mental, social and economic problems. It can cause cancer of various digestive organs, affects liver, causes heart problems etc. It also causes depression, anxiety, hallucination, sleeping disorder, irritability, etc. Alcoholism destroys family life, causes unnecessary quarrels, economic problems and also causes economic losses. Sometimes too much consumption of alcohol in a same day can also cause instant death of the person.

But it is also true that alcohol (especially of high quality) is beneficial if taken in moderate amount. But once you start to drink alcohol regularly, it becomes a habit and leads to addiction, with the passage of time. Over time tolerance increases, then you have to drink more alcohol willingly or unwillingly, to get desired effect. So, best thing you can do is avoid drinking alcohol even for one time. Let’s look at the some wrong belief that people holds about addiction: i. Many people use alcohol as a way to reduce stress and to get feeling of relaxation for a while. But the real problem won’t be solved by drinking alcohol nor will it provide long term satisfaction. So, instead of using alcohol to reduce stress, you can find out the root cause of stress and solve it once and for all.

ii.

iii.

People also think that they need to consume alcohol to increase and intensify their social circle. Because in movie they see alcoholic people partying and enjoying, even in real life we can also see people having high reputation and high economy drinking alcohol with their group and many more. Always remember that, you don’t have to drink alcohol to be accepted to your loved one or your peer. So, if your friends ask or force you to drink alcohol in order to get entry in their groups then leave such friends and try to be away from them. A good friend always respects your opinion and helps you to be better not to be worse. When we ask some people then they say that, they needs to drink alcohol in order to get sleep at night and they also says that, they feels restless while sleeping if they don’t drink

iv.

alcohol. But real truth is that, although alcohol helps to get sleep easily but such sleep will be of low quality. Even they sleep for 8 hours they feel like they haven’t slept fully. Because alcohol disturbs the quality of their sleep. Best method which you can use to fall in sleep is do simple meditation by just lying in bed and focus on your breathing. Don’t try to have pills as far as possible, for getting sleep because pills can also disturbs your health condition over a long time and even can make you addict to it. Clinically it is proven that alcohol helps to solve some health issues if taken in moderate amount. But with the passage of time, drinking of alcohol becomes a habit and can even make you addict. At that point you have to face large amount of health issues. You may have seen

and realized how family life, career and social status of alcoholic are destroyed. So, it is not wise to drink alcohol in order to improve health condition. In market there are many healthy juices and healthy food are available to feed you. So, why to choose alcohol for drinking? There is no reason to drink alcohol. You won’t die nor will your career and social life get destroyed by not drinking alcohol. So, avoid alcohol and enjoy your life.

Chapter: 6 Smoking
At present many younger youth especially teenager are getting involved in smoking day by day. So there is chance you may also smoke in future or you may have already smoked. In this chapter I am going to make you aware about smoking. I don’t know, what you think about cigarette but it is a fact that cigarette is a poison which will lead

you to the path of death when you use it. Most of the people start smoking in their teenage year. It is due to various reasons which I am going to describe later in another chapter. Only very-very few people start smoking in their adult age. But you may see many adult smoking cigarettes. This might confuse you but truth is most of those adult had started smoking in their teenage year. As we know smoking is a one type of addictive behavior which is hard to leave. Let’s see how smoking can make you addict, cigarette has many harmful

chemicals, one of them is nicotine. When the smokes of cigarette enter your body, nicotine also enters and mixes in the bloodstream. Due to the influence of nicotine, brain releases more amount of dopamine. This increases your desire to repeat the smoking behaviour more and more and this can make you addict. So, adult who smokes generally starts smoking cigarette in their teenage year and becomes unable to get rid of smoking due to its addiction and to prevent withdrawal sickness. Do you know that (about more than 50%) most of the adult smokers regret about why they started smoking in their teenage year. Even though

they try to leave smoking habit, they fail to do so. You should understand that smoking won’t make you look cool, talent, adult, powerful nor respectful person. But it is true that it will destroy your life and happiness. Smoking works like a slow poison which not only shortens your life but also gives you various problems as a gift. Some of the major fact and consequences of smoking are: 1. On average if you smoke for one minute then it will reduce your life span by one minute. To smoke a cigarette, it takes 3-5 or more minutes and if you

become chain smoker you may smoke about 40 cigarettes in a day. Now, you can imagine about the amount of time and money you will lose by smoking. 2. Smoking can discolour your nails, fingers and teeth. It can make your mouth, moustaches and cloth to stink. But you will be unable to notice this type of bad things and bad odour. Thus it will repel other people from you. 3. You start to appear old by your look as wrinkles and rough skins appears prematurely

4. Your teeth, eyes, gums, and lips get affected and can get infection. 5. If you smoke then you will bear 10-22 times more risk of cancer than non smoker. 6. Do you know four out of five causes of oral cancer and esophageal cancer is smoking? 7. Smoking increases the risk of kidney cancer, bladder cancer, pancreatic cancer, stomach cancer, cervical cancer and leukemia. 8. A 2007 report states that about 4.9 million people in the world dies every year due to smoking.

These are just some consequences of smoking. There are many other consequences which are not mentioned here. At last remember that once you start smoking it will be very hard to leave and it makes you an addict person. So it is better to prevent than to regret for whole life. So don’t smoke even for first time.

Chapter: 8 Drug Addiction

This is a last type of addiction (but not least), mentioned in this book. Because on the basis of consequences it can be regarded as the most dangerous type of addiction. It not only destroys your life, relationships but also destroys your property and can even make you criminal by more chance than other addiction. Some names of illegal drugs with their nick name are: • • • Heroin (“H”, “Smack”) Cocaine (“Coke”, “Crack”) Methamphetamine

• •

Crack Cocaine LSD: Lysergic Acid Diethylamide (“trips”, “acid”, “microdots”) Ectasy (“E”, “XTC”, “eccy”) Opium Marijuana (“G”) Psilocybin Mushroom PCP: Phenocyelidine (“angel dust”)

• • • • •

These are just some name of the illegal drugs. But nowadays use of legal drugs and medicinal drugs is also increasing. Many drug addicts

and general people believe that legal and medicinal drugs are not harmful. But it is wrong belief. Do you know that many drugs which are termed as illegal at present were used in past as prescription medicine. But people in past, used such drugs in wrong way and started to get addict. That’s why they were made illegal. So, prescription drugs (medicine) are also harmful if used in wrong way or used without prescription. Prescription drugs also holds equal risk of making you addict as illegal drugs and can also harm you. To make you easier to find whether your friends are using prescriptive drugs or not, some

street names and nicknames of prescriptive drugs are:- Pilz, Xanax :(Z-bar, Brick, Benzos), Valium:(Blues), Sedatives and Tranquilizers:(Chill Pills, French Fries, Tranqs), Ritalin(Rid, Vitamin R, Jif, R-ball, Rittys, Rits), Aderall: (Beans, Black Beauties, Christmas Trees, Double Trouble), Vicodin, Oxycontin, Cotton, Percocet, Painkillers, Vike, Watson-387, Percs, Morph, Kicker, Tuss, Big Boys, Cotton OC etc. Nowadays glue-sniffing, a kind of addictive substance which can harm you, is also being used. There are various causes of drug addiction. But in this article I am going to describe about how you can

become a drug addict. Let’s see it: Whenever you take a drug for the first time you will probably feel the affect very strongly because you have very low tolerance. Due to intense satisfaction you want to try it again and again and become addict to drug. Overtime due to its continuous use your tolerance level increases. Due to this you won’t feel desired satisfaction by the same amount of dose you used at initial stage. So you should need to use higher dose or stronger types of drugs to get desired and original satisfaction. After sometime, again your tolerance level will increases. So you should again use higher dose

or stronger drugs to get desired pleasure. This type of cycle continues unless you get proper help. At that time most part of your brain will be occupied by drugs. You only think about drugs and way to get money to buy drugs. You will be unable to decide what is wrong and what is right. You only realize that you need drug and must have it anyway. You will sell everything around you, you will murder, lie, smuggle, get involve in crime and do whatever you can do to just manage money to buy drugs.

You will forget about your family, relationship, friendship and responsibility. Drug addiction will destroy your career, health and social status. You will bear high risk of various kinds of communicable diseases and STDs like HIV-AIDS, Hepatitis etc. Some of the problems, which can be brought by drug addiction are: i. ii. iii. iv. Family and relationship problems. Problems at work and school. Accidents. Legal problems.

v. vi.

Financial problems. Health problems.

vii. Sexual problems ( can make a addict sterile and can reduces his/her interest in sex) Above mentioned facts are just a smaller one but if it happens in real life then it will be much more painful, miserable and heart-breaking. I think now you may have been clear about how drug addiction can make you criminal from a normal person and how miserably it can kill you prematurely.

Another wrong belief which people hold about drug addiction is that they regard drug addiction as a personal problem but in fact it is a social problem. If you and your family lives in a place where drug addiction prevails then you and your family members are at high risk of being drug addict. Indirectly, you and your family members can also be victim of problems and crimes resulted by drug addiction. So, instead of regarding drug addiction as other’s problem we should try to solve it as our own problem. Always remember that, in life many kinds of scars can

be healed with the passage of time but scars resulted by drug addiction will not easily heal. Even if you get recovered from drug addiction it will be very hard to forget the pain and misery of past which will lead you to depression and regret for rest of the life. So, think 100 times, even 1000 times about your career, life and family (who have a great hope in you) before taking drugs. And don’t do drugs.

Chapter: 8 Causes Of Drugs, Smoking And Alcohol Addiction And Gambling
Major starting point of drugs, smoking and alcohol addiction and gambling is teenage period. So they all have almost common types of causes. While surfing over internet I found one expert related to this kind of problem saying “I will give my daughter $5000 if she don’t do

drugs up to 21 years.” This fact also shows that how much vulnerable is teenage life towards addiction. At this teenage year, one becomes so much confident in himself/herself and thinks that they are invincible and extraordinary. And finally enters into such addiction due to various causes. Well below I have mentioned some of the major causes of addiction, which are: i. Peer pressure: Teenagers try and want to spend their most time with their friends. Because they shares same types of feelings, same types of problems and same types

of attitude and ideas. Teenagers also give high importance to suggestions and opinions of friends than their parents. Because they believe their friends can only understand their feelings and problems, which is also true for up to some context as teenagers share same types of teenage attitude and belief. So, if your friends are addicted then you are also at high risk of being drug addict. As your friends may suggest you to try addictive substances, they may lure you to try addictive substances, they may say all

your problems will be solved, they may say you will look cool and feel relaxed if you try such addictive substances. But these all things are wrong. About 65% of addict teenager said they tried drugs to feel cool and good about themselves. Sometimes your addicted friend may also warn you by saying that they will leave you if you don’t try addictive substances. In such case it is far better to leave such friend than to try such addictive substances. Next, question is why do your addicted friends want to make you addict?

Well, there are two major reasons for this. Especially in drug addiction, when one becomes addict he/she spends all his/her money to buy drugs. To buy more drugs he/she needs more additional money. So, he/she starts to lure his/her friend, girlfriend/boyfriend or relatives to try drugs. At the beginning he/she gives them drugs in free of cost. After they become addict he/she will ask them (victim) to bring money to buy drugs with him/her. As a example, he/she will buys 10 gram of drugs at RS 100 from drug

dealer and sells less than 5 gram of drugs at Rs 100 to his/her friend, lover or relatives who has become victim. In this way he/she will not only fulfill his/her needs but also he/she can earn more money. And in order to manage money to buy drugs, the person who has become victim, also tries to lure his/her friends to try drugs. In this way, this cycle of drug addiction continues and branches increases. Another major cause is little complex but I will try to make you understand it. Have you ever noticed and thought why do

people wants to increase the influence of their religion, culture, language, their political party and even their personality over other? This is because increasing influence and making more members makes one to feel satisfied, secured from other group, it will help them to exchange many things easily and helps to take various benefits through cooperation. As addicted person mostly involves in conflict so he/she wants to feel more secured and stronger by increasing members (addicted friends). By making other people

addicted, also helps him/her to share clothes, money and other things more easily with those people. So, to fulfill this kinds of self-needs your addicted friends may try to make you also addict. So, if you want to be addiction free and avoid peer pressure for doing bad work, then you should try to keep distance with your addicted friend. As your life, attitude, and habits are mostly influenced by people around you. ii. Depression and stress: Stress in teenage life is more

due to increase in responsibility. You have to manage your family life, social life, academic life, personal life, and sometime romantic life all at once. You may feel too much pressured because you are facing these kinds of problems and challenges for the first time in life and you lack the experience to cope with them properly. In such case being stressed and little depressed is normal. Sometimes parental conflicts, divorce of parents, breakup in love, failure in exam or too much competition and low self esteem can also cause

depression and stress. In this type of condition you bear high chance to get addicted in addictive substances, especially prescriptive medicines. As nowadays, use of prescriptive medicine like pain killer, cough tablet, type writer correction fluid, felt tip marker, spray paint, air freshener etc to relax and to get instant gratification is increasing day by day. Because many thinks prescriptive medicine are not harmful but in reality they are also harmful. Use of marijuana is also common in our society due to its religious value and its easier

availability. But remember it is also a type of drug and can harm you. So, try to solve the depression and stress before it gets too worse. iii. Influence of media and iconic figure:

At this present time you can see various Medias everywhere easily, like radio, TV, newspaper, internet, posters etc. Many such Medias give advertisement of alcohol and cigarettes featured by attractive models or iconic figures. This sends negative impact over your teenage brain

and you start to believe uses of such addictive substances are not harmful and regard them as symbol of success and attractiveness. This is totally wrong type of belief. But real thing is such models and iconic figures don’t have any personal link with such addictive substances. They are given money or are fulfilled their needs to act in advertisement, by companies of addictive substances. In movies and TV shows you may have seen attractive stars and celebrities using addictive substances. This type of scenes affects the mentality of teenager consciously

and sub-consciously and they think that reason behind celebrity’s attractiveness, success and good performance is addictive substances. Sometimes you may also have heard how your best athletes were able to enhance their performance by doing dope. But, real fact is that, movie stars and celebrities are also paid for their acting and role. They also don’t have any personal relation with such addictive substances and are just doing their work as an artist. Next thing is that, many reputed athletes have lost their career, medals and reputation due to doing of dope, even for

doing single time. Many iconic figure, celebrities and role models who are really addicted, are unable to work with their full capacity due to influence of addictive substances. After reading above facts one question might pop into your mind i.e.: Why do companies put such false things in their advertisement if everything is lie? Well, I want to give you an example to make you understand, just imagine that you are going to sell your house and if you say “My old, second-hand and dirty house is in sale, who wants to buy it?” in advertisement. Then no-one will like to buy it. But if you paint that

same house a little-bit and say “My new, clean and good house is in sale, who wants to buy it? Then there will be a queue of people to buy that same house. In this way, if companies tell real truth in their advertisement then no one will buy their products and they have to bear loss. Thus, they try to make attractive advertisements in order to make their products popular and to increase sales. So, sometimes whatever you see may not be real. Remember this fact whenever you see such kind of advertisement next time and avoid it.

iv.

Everything starts from small intensity.

Do you want to be addict alcoholic, smoker, and druggist or addict gambler? Probably not and in reality no–one wants to be such type of addicted person. Many teenagers believe trying drugs, alcohol or cigarette only for the first time won’t make them addict because they believes that they are invincible, stronger and extraordinary. At the initial stage such addictive substance also won’t harm them moreover give them short-term pleasure and gratification. So, they become

more confident and desire to try for second time. The second try becomes third try, third becomes fourth and so on. In this way, habit forms and one becomes addict knowingly or unknowingly. Generally, many teenagers starts their addiction from smaller things like sweetsupari, betel-nut, gutkha, alcohol, cigarette and so on respectively. It is better to avoid addictive substances even smaller type of addictive substances. Remember, a small thing grows and becomes big one day. And never ever try such substances even for the first time because in life everything happens for the first time.

v.

Addictive parents and lack of unconditional love and supervision.

Do you know why home is called the first and important school of children? This is because children learn many things from their parents and environment of home. So, if parents use addictive substance then their children holds more chance to use such addictive substances. This is because if parents use such addictive substances, then it makes their children to think such addictive substances are permissible and harmless. Teenager also wants to be adult and independent like their parents and regard them as role

models. So, they try to copy their parents. An international study shows that 98% of teen who smokes has smoking parents. At present time many parents are either busy or are in abroad to earn money. So they are unable to give proper amount of time to their children, due to this children lacks proper and real love and care from their parents. Moreover parents try to fulfill unnecessary material needs and monetary needs to show their children that they love them. They also generally don’t give importance to observe what their children are doing with such money or materials. Thus, due to lack of this kind of supervision children get

involved in notorious activity like using addictive substances secretly. A study suggests teen that learns the risks of drugs from their parents are less likely to take drugs than those teen who don’t learn, by more than 50%. Another big mistake parents do is, that they provide conditional love. They show their love whenever children scores top marks in exam, get top position in competition or perform according to their parent’s expectation. And if children become unable to do as their parent’s expectation then, parents treat their children like they don’t love them, they scold them, punish them and so on. Due to this,

whenever children fail in something or do mistakes they become over stressed and depressed than required. They even learn to lie and hide their mistakes to avoid harsh and rude behaviours of their parents. To get rid of such stress they may also get involved in addictive substances. So, parents should totally avoid such behaviours. They should provide unconditional love. They should show their love to children at same level, even though their children fails or do mistakes. They should try to understand the feelings and problems of their children, they should try to make their children responsible and honest to their career, future and responsibility

and should provide suggestion not pressure. Remember, a child always needs the love and support of his/her parents especially during the time of trouble and failure. I don’t know who is reading this book right now. If you are parents then try to follow these above mentioned things. But if you are teenager then make your parents aware about it and even if you are unable to make them aware, you yourself be aware and ignore such bad behaviour of parents. vi. It’s up to you You are the owner, master and controller of your life. No-one can change you but you

only can change yourself. There is a saying: “You should seal your sac before blaming other.” So it’s up to you to avoid such addictive substances. We can hear even well educated adult people doing drugs later in life. For such people we can’t do anything but we can only feel sorry about them. So, it’s not only enough to read things like, trying drugs, alcohol and cigarettes is harmful. Applying the things which you study is the best thing you can do in your life. Above mentioned causes may sound simple to you and you may try to ignore them, thinking you can’t be addicted. Well this really happens at this age because you are filled with teenage

hot blood and lot of energy and you feel yourself as an extraordinary. So even they sound simple and ordinary adopt them sincerely. Because many things appear as simple and small at the beginning so they are ignored but with the passage of time they bring big problems in life. Remember, in life there are always options which can be good or bad. And you are the one to choose it. So which one do you choose: Good or Bad.

Chapter: 9

Solution To Addiction
Many addicted people also want to get rid of addiction frequently. So, they try to stay away from addictive substance and also manage to remain clean for some moments (few hours to few days). But the craving for addictive substance becomes so strong that they fail to get rid of it. This is the truth. This chapter is especially dedicated to those people who are addicted. But non addicted people can also learn many things from it. In this chapter I am going to guide you about how to get rid of addiction.

There is a saying: “It’s never late to bring positive change in life.” So, no matter how much old you are if you are able to get rid of addiction, certainly your life will be better and greater than it is now. First of all, you have to be honest and realize your faults and problems. Then tell your parents or spouse that you are addicted and tell them that you really want to change and you need their help to make that change. Don’t forget to apologise with them about all your bad deeds and faults which have hurt them. There is a saying: “The best years

of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You don’t blame them on your mother, the ecology or the president. You realize that you controls your destiny.” -Albert Ellis After hearing your these kinds of words your parents or spouse or best friend will be certainly happy to help you as they loves you very much. Don’t ignore this above mentioned step because you really need help of others to fight against addiction. During the youth period many thinks that they can fight with addiction alone. But reality is that you can’t fight against addiction alone because it is very hard to do so and if you can do that

alone then, you won’t have to be addicted. Next step is to take help of rehabilitation center. If you have money and if you can afford, then the best and efficient way to get rid of addiction is by going to rehabilitation center. There are counsellor, experienced people and discipline enforcer in rehabilitation centre who will help you to get rid of addiction effectively. But all people won’t be so much fortunate to afford the bills of rehabilitation center. If you are, one of them, then don’t worry, nothing is impossible in this world. Whatever

your mind can think, you can achieve it in real world but you should be patience, honest and persistent. Always remember that, it’s you who have to be ready and interested at first, to bring change in your life. Then only other can help and guide you. Below I have mentioned some steps which are important even if you go to rehabilitation center. Because you won’t stay there forever, someday you might come out and may again become victim of addiction. So, to maintain sobriety from addictive materials even after coming out of rehabilitation center, these tips will certainly help you:

i.

Change the environment Remove all the things from your house or room that are linked with your addiction as much as possible to unreachable place so that you don’t get in contact with those things even if you want to, when cravings increases. And, if you are strong addict of smoking, alcohol or drugs then don’t try to stop suddenly because if you do so it may cause more problems. So that asks your parents to give such substances by slowly reducing the dose each time.

“Slow change is better than no change.” So don’t try to stop it suddenly if you are highly addicted. Try to make small or even very small change but give continuity to it. ii. Switch to non-addicted friends If you give continuity to get in contact with your addicted friends even after starting this method, then your chances to get rid of addiction highly decreases. So, limit the contact with such friends to ‘Hi’, ‘Hello’ and ‘Bye’ unless it is very necessary. If you

can, then cut off the contact with those locations where availability and use of addictive substances is more like party, pub, disco, bar etc. Surround yourself with good friends and positive people. If no any good friends are available then read books or do other good entertaining tasks. iii. Beat your craving Even after having strong desire to get rid of addiction, sometimes craving for that substance will increase so much that you forget all your commitments and promises. You may even start to lie to other for

getting that substance. Thoughts like “I will just try this (addictive substance) only for today and from tomorrow I will not even think about it” can pop into your mind. This is the hardest time, when trying to get rid of addiction. And in this kind of condition, if you give a try to that substance, after the ending of craving you will feel regret and distressed over such kind of act. Thus, you try to indulge more in that substance. After using too much amount of that substance you will again make promise and commitments with yourself, to avoid such addictive substances for forever. When tomorrow or next day comes, cravings again

increases and same thought, which is mentioned in the top of this paragraph inside inverted commas, again comes into your mind. In this way, you will become unable to get rid of addiction. And at last you will end up becoming hopeless and sad about getting rid of addiction. If you are one of the above mentioned type of person who has failed a lot then acknowledge this quote”In life failure is just one type of learning method. So try to learn from failure and avoid that mistake again.” So, don’t get sad from your failure but try to learn from it. If one method fails then try another or different method.

Generally, a craving session lasts for about 3-5 minutes. So look at the clock and count-down the time during the craving session. In a day there can be several craving session each of 3-5 minutes. Try to relax and divert your mind during such craving session. You can also make your parents aware about this kind of cravings and thoughts which can come during craving. Tell them to avoid any kind of excuses during the craving session and tell them to provide you good supervision during such session.

Remember that, during the craving session, not you but your craving speaks and controls you more. And the more you are able or become successful to avoid such cravings, the more you will get stronger and confident to fight against addiction. iv. Find out the root cause Everything has its own root cause. So, there is/are also root cause/s for your craving. For example, when you feel lonely you’re craving or desire to use drug may increases. If so, then surround yourself with

positive friend, people or relative. Your craving to use addictive substance can also increase, when you feel stressed or hopeless. If so then try to manage stress and stay hopeful. If you can, then even try to find the deeper cause of stress, like deeper cause of stress can be breakup with your partner or failure in something. After finding root cause try to solve such cause once and for all. In this way, try to find the root cause of your craving and try to solve it once and for all or try to reduce the conditions or

situations which causes cravings, as much as you can. v. Replace bad habit good one Only trying to cut off the addictive substances or addictive behaviour is not enough. You should try to replace addiction of addictive substances by good habits or good work. This not only helps you to utilize your saved time properly but also helps you to learn new thing and stay encouraged. For this you can get involved in anything which is good and which you enjoy the most like

painting, learning or listening music, reading various kinds of book etc. vi. Be motivated If you are addict person then you may have lost many things like your health, family, career or money due to addictive behaviour. And memory of such pains and losses of past won’t let you live happily even if you get rid of addictive behaviour or substances. So that there is chances you may feel regret and become hopeless in future or at present due to effect of bad activity of past.

And to avoid such kinds of stress and past memory you may again get involved in such addictive substances. So, you should be motivated to face and manage such situations or memory and to increase your self-confidence and selfbelief. To do so, you can read self help books, inspirational books, motivating videos or movies, novels, biography of famous people and books related to struggle of life. This kind of things can help you to remain hopeful, realize your value, manage your stress and helps you to be stronger mentally.

vii. Give autosuggestion Autosuggestion sounds simple but it is more powerful than we can imagine. Auto suggestion can create a huge impact over your subconscious mind and can help you to increase your efficiency and confidence. Generally, your autosuggestion should look like this “I am becoming less and less addicted day by day. I am winning over my craving daily. I am becoming physically and mentally stronger to control my addiction …..” In this way you can give autosuggestion to

yourself in your own way. But while giving autosuggestion try to repeat only positive thing and say what you want to be in future not what you are at present. If you say these kinds of positives thought by looking yourself in mirror then it will be more better. Now let’s see how autosuggestion works, if you give autosuggestion by saying I have already become.. or I am becoming.., then your sub-conscious mind starts to work like it had already happened. Thus, this will reinforces and helps those

imagined thought to happen in real life more easily and effectively. Although, autosuggestion is boring, but the more you repeat giving autosuggestion to yourself the more benefit you will get and the more quickly you will recover from addiction. So, try to autosuggest to yourself at least once a day but if you can, then autosuggest to yourself as much time as you can. viii. Overcome sleeplessness Sleep is vital for all aspect of our life.

But many addicts faces the problem of sleeplessness while trying to get rid of addictive substances. For this try to do simple meditation by just lying in your bed until you sleep or listen to the song you like most, especially a calming song. In the beginning it will be very hard and boring to sleep but with few times of practice everything will be easy and automatic. ix. Relapse: How to deal with it To get more information about relapse look at the chapter

named “Cultivate New Habit” of this book. Finally these are some of the steps that can help you to get rid of addiction of not only drugs, smoking or alcohol but also helps to get rid of various types of addiction like addiction of watching TV, playing video games, social networking etc if you are able to modify these above mentioned steps by little bit according to type of your addiction. Try to get rid of addiction slowly and continuously. Don’t hope for

instant result be patience and persistent. Always remember sooner you start to get rid of addiction sooner you will be recovered. These kinds of addiction cannot be treated by hiding or torturing the addict. If you do so then not only addict but you and your family also have to face more complex situation which may lead to deep negative effects. Addiction can only be treated through proper and precise planning, effort and patience. So, if you are addict or if someone is addict in your family, then start to recover from today to prevent further loss, pain and complexity of problem.

Chapter: 10 Final Words
I think after reading previous chapters, you may have learnt many things about addiction. And I hope you will never get involved in this type of bad things. After reading chapter 9 you may think that nothing will happen even if one becomes addicted because there is solution. But this is just

another wrong thing that can pop into your teenage brain. Do you think it is right to avoid caring of our health thinking that there are medicines and methods to cure diseases? Certainly, it isn’t. According to past trend and past record, one thing you should be clear is that only few people are able to recover completely for whole life after going to rehabilitation center whereas many relapses later in life even after being recovered at rehabilitation center. And some addict people aren’t able to get rid of addiction even after many tries. Don’t forget that, by being addicted you have to lose many

things in life and many such things can’t be again regained later. But my dear friends who are addict at this present time don’t lose your hope. Just remember one thing that,”You won’t lose the fight unless you stop fighting.” So, even if you have failed for several times don’t be sad but keep on trying and trying. Nick Vujicic, a motivational speaker once said, “If I fail to do what I want for 100 times and if I give up at the end due to disappointment and numerous failures. Then I will never be able to do it for my whole life. But if I try again and again then someday I will be able to do

what I want.” Think like this and stay positive towards life. One wrong thing that occurs in our society is that, the parents try to hide their children’s addiction towards drugs, alcohol or cigarettes. They regard their reputation bigger than their children. And again they do another wrong thing, i.e. they make their children to marry thinking that the marital relation will bring them in right path. But this will only make problem more severe. This is like making an innocent person to ride over a mad horse. This will not only damage the life of their children but also damage the life of another person

who marries with their children. In this type of condition major victim are girls who marry the addicted boys. So, girls themselves should be aware during their marriage. If you are a girl, then you should not expect or believe that your future husband will change after marriage, even though he promises and do commitment with you to change. Such types of commitments and promises won’t last longer against addiction. So, make your future husband or partner to change and leave addictive behaviour before marriage or before establishing any serious relationship. Think yourself, if he can’t get rid of addiction before marriage, then how can you

expect or believe that he will get rid of it after marriage. One of the teachers of my locality once said, “I don’t care, even if my children don’t study but they shouldn’t be druggists, alcoholic or smokers. What is the benefit or worth of studying and getting high grades if they die prematurely due to addiction and if they are unable to apply whatever they have learnt?” Isn’t his view true? You’re all property, qualification, social status and relation can easily fade away if you become addicted. You won’t be able to live fully. What my suggestion is, never ever try such

addictive substances even for the first time. Don’t overestimate yourself and don’t underestimate such addictive substances. Be addiction free and enjoy your life fully and happily. We are here to enjoy and live our life fully and happily with dignity not to live with sadness, sorrow and self hatred

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