july 2013 / ` 100

INDIa edition Vol 6 issue 08

Why the hell
is tennis so boring?
(Blame the Tennis STars)

Karun chandok
on the grit, camper vans and radio thieves of Le Mans
of beach es,

great summer beaches!
Do women really have 7 erotic zones?

29

egg d e l b m Scra

s

NEHA SHARMA
o e n why sh

s n a i b s & le

Big question!

Would you go to smuggle alcohol?

LENGTHS

WHAT

almost

n u n a e m beca
also starring

Merc A-Class • Bullet 500 • BB Q10 • sexist jokes • food • beer cocktails • Survival tips

contents
july 2013

64

p56 neha sharma
Sweet as pie and hot like hell, FHM’s cover girl for this month brings with her the best of both worlds.
4 July 2013

There was a time when After yawning our way out tennis players would throw from shows of Iron Man 3 rackets in the court, foul and Man of Steel, the only mouth umpires and hurl ones who can save our abuses at the spectators, but masses from sheer boredom now the newer lot is busy are the ladies in a fight suit. being as diplomatic as they can be.

super heroines are finally here to save the world and fight evil...and they look hot!

76

why is tennis becoming too boring to tolerate?

96

FHM goes hunting for the best things for your summer wardrobe. Be it shirts, watches, tees or hats, we have everything covered.

the best way to upgrade your wardrobe

106

70

we got to use the Blackberry q10

FHM makes musicians Raghu Dixit, Karsh Kale, Anindo Bose, Shirish Malhotra and Papon reminisce about their first musical instrument.
fhmindia • fhmindia

Remember your first guitar?

94

FHM presents a step-bystep guide to cooking up beer cocktails the best dish that can be How about giving your made out of a piece of pork. favourite beer, a little tweak?
fhmindia.com

in the mood to cook pork belly?

If you are a CEO in the making, this is the phone you should consider buying.

114

Visit our stores at www.grasimfashion.com

contents regulars
46 92

30 108

34

50

24 The solution to
How to smuggle booze into music festivals, sports bouts and bars, so that by the end of the month your wallet still has a grand left.
pricey booze

access

42 films FHM plans to watch this month

filter

the st gho r ride

26 Beware of

p10

A roundup of ridiculous and scornful laws against pre-marital sex.
singh, or any indian Neta, be as heroic as putin?

pre-mArital sex

While our eyes are completely set on Bhaag Milkha Bhaag and The Wolverine, we are also keen on D-Day in which Rishi Kapoor plays the don as well as Lootera.

92 how to have an upper torso like hrithik roshan?

upgrade

44 A for A-Class

A workout guide from his personal trainer Kris Gethin, the fitness expert who mentored the actor to fit back into his superhero costume for Krrish II after he gained a lot of weight and a bulging gut.

30 can manmohan

We took the newly launched A-Class for a ride, and were left begging for more.

100 beaches that take real good care of you.

46 the robust
Royal Enfield is out with yet another cracker, and this one is surely the most comfortable and easy-to-ride bike to have come from its stable.
bullet 500

meerra chopra
On ghosts, the male chauvinistic pigs she has dated and why her celebrity cousin isn’t the best thing to have happened to her.
6 July 2013

We take you snorkelling, scuba diving and rafting on the best beaches of the world.

Russians have more than one reason to be proud of their leader who has been linked to the most gorgeous ladies on the ramp.

48 adil and

108 It doesn’t really matter if your mobile phone camera is not high on megapixels...

34 better than the
We try to find out if the fancy bottled water can make the tap go dry. Well, we are really not bothered about the number of times pesticides have been found in bottled water. Or are we?
tap water

FHM gets talking with the Jazz fusion duo about their new album and what keeps them inclined in life and on stage. It’s a fun read.

vasundhara

because when you click a picture they don’t really play that important role as you have been made to believe. This story will completely change your approach towards photography.

50 KARUN

The ace racer on the harsh side of racing.

CHANDhOK

120 final countdown

The piece of mind that Thailand gave to us.
fhmindia.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

editor’s letter
Pardon my French, but June was rather fucked up. How do the same people, playing the same sport, who are dragged through the countryside (not the English countryside, the Indian one, which is far worse) for keeping shut about a betting scandal suddenly become national heroes after winning the Champion’s Trophy? It’s inexplicable why they would be compared to India’s first World Cup win in 1983 apart from the geographical locations of the stadia or the fact that the even three decade gap makes good headlines. Then of course, were the great floods in Uttaranchal peppered by brilliant rescue operations by the Army and the Air Force and predictably dumb-as-a-doorknob statements by politicians. So we’re hoping July would be better. And it should be, considering some of the world’s biggest names were born in July, it’s named after Julius Caesar and the fag end of it is prone to bomb-blasts, floods and overall general gruesomeness. And among other things, I do also turn 30 – which most of you would realise is an event of catastrophic proportions for me. In a bid to get out of the sullenness, we’ve done the issue as a little bit of a hurried list of some basic things that you should do before you are thirty. A sort of lose, no tick necessary guide to the things you should have achieved by now and the questions you have been putting off for half a decade. We’ve got you 10 most unarguable, undisputable facts about sex (page 82) including answers to questions like ‘Whether sex before a match will affect your performance’ and the most important question of them all – ‘Do women actually have 7 erogenous zones?’ Looking to get out for the summer? We’ve done some research and got you the authoritative guide of 29 8 July 2013

boring? ll is Tennis so Why the he

showering in helicopters camper vans, about what and no fancy weekends. no luxury hotels, no born Aston really happened, includi Karun Chandok writes Martin Driver ng the death of DanishAllan Simons en, at Le Mans 2013.

CAMPER VANS, STOLEN RADI OS & THE GRAVEYAR D SHIFT AT LE MANS
Living and
he Le Mans 24 race is widely hours thousands of recognised on between personnel stay as one of the test and the crown race, which the jewels of world obviously helps motorsport the nearby along with hotels and the Indianapolis bars but means 500 and the it’s Monaco Grand for the guys a hell of a slog in year was the Prix. This As drivers, the teams. anniversary 90th home before we get a week at of coming back most famous the world’s the race. Even for endurance and after becoming then, we arrive race on the previous Indian to compete the first which means weekend, in and we have a lot finish the race hanging around of last year, I once again before the was race. very honoured I brought my be the only to cycle down and did lots Indian amongst of training the 166 drivers keep me entertaine to on the grid this time around. A fun tradition d. Having finished 6th associated with this race last back this time year, I was are paraded is that the cars through class with an in the LMP2 town for scrutineer Le Mans Irish team called Murphy ing and then the drivers Prototypes alongside a are taken through on Kiwi – Brendon a separate parade Hartley and in front a South-Afr American driver ican- lining of 100,000 people the streets. – Mark Patterson. Last year, coming As a driver, to Le Mans for the the build up first time was Le Mans is to very confusing unlike any a other race. Activity time for me. had no idea I about where advance with starts weeks in stay, what to simulator work routine to follow and engineerin in terms of g meetings eating ensure that to and was generally or sleeping the are competiti team and car relying on my teammate ve straight away. The circus Dumbrek and s – Peter moves into David Brabham town 3 weeks to hold my hand. Luckily, as the official before the race they had 23 Le Mans starts happens a full practice session between them and taught the big race. 2 weeks before a lot, so this me This is good year the local economie for better prepared. I went back s as All the drivers stay at the circuit fhmindia in
July 2013 2

RACI NG

T

Karun’s team (Murphy Prototypes ) finished 13th overall in 2013.

He debuted Mans in 2012 at Le and team finished his 6th.

The race itself runs from 3pm Saturday to 3pm Sunday. Each team has 3 drivers who drive the car in shifts.

Over the course the race, the of cars cover over 5,000 kms. This is equivalent to 17 Formula 1 Grand Prix races.

couple of It has been a racquets decades since broken, were flung and n and throw tantrums were abused on thenew s’s referees were . Have tenni tennis court it too much of a A-team madesport? (read boring) Gentleman’s Singh
2,80,000 people up to watch the show 1,20,000 people race. watch a match at Eden Gardens and 105,000 watch the Indian F1.

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Words by Veer

1

July 2013 fhmindia • fhmindia fhmindia.com

They might not look like Formula 1 cars, but the cars compete at Le that Mans are still capable of doing 320 kmph.

At 13.8 kms, track is one the of longest tracks the in world and runsthe through public roads and forests.

fhmindia.com fhmindia •

must-visit beaches to visit around the world, whether you’re looking for a full moon party, thinking of snorkelling or going scuba diving, or even if want to take up surfing. If visual delight is the activity you are after, there’s also a guide to five top nudist beaches (page 100). Were you watching Wimbledon and wondering just why the hell it’s all so boring – why no one is chucking the racquet, screaming at an umpire and why the atmosphere isn’t that of sulkiness? We were too, so we ranted over six pages about it (page 76). Too lazy to read the story? No problem – bottom line is that your tennis stars are shit boring. Just back from being stuck with the graveyard shift in Le Mans, Karun Chandhok writes about life as a driver, living on the track in a camper van and the legendary radio thieves of Le Mans (page 50). Thinking about taking up an instrument, but never got down to it? (drop dead if you make a pun on this). Six music super-celebrities tell you about their first instrument in an attempt to shame you into getting off your ass and learning how to play the guitar, the keyboard, the saxophone (page 70). Now the only thing standing between you and a rockstar career is the lack of skill. As usual, this issue has a lot else to – How to make the perfect slow braised pork belly and the perfect beer cocktails (even though we don’t really see the point). We also tried out hand at the new Bullet 500, The Mercedes-Benz A-Class, the inexplicably priced BlackBerry Q10 and a whole lot else. Besides some really, really fine fresh women pouting and posing just the way you like it. To wind things up – 10 things you do only in Bangkok is our Final Countdown. Haven’t been? Yeah right. – Kabeer Sharma

What we did this month…

Travelled to Thailand for the 10th Anniversary party of FHM Thailand with the good people from FHM Malaysia, FHM Singapore, FHM Philippines and FHM Indonesia. It was kind of like an ASEAN summit, only with better booze and hotter girls.

Went two rounds in the ring with former world heavyweight champ David Haye and quizzed his new business partner John Abraham on the fitness chain they are launching. The story will be in the next issue. Went off-roading in the Polaris RZR and the quad-bike Sportsman. Day drew to an early close after we managed to fall backwards off the Sportsman while ascending a hill and then tried to catch it with our chest. Survived. The chest, the back and the shirt didn’t. Swore off cricket after the shamelessness exhibited by M.S.Dhoni and his refusal to comment on the betting charges against his IPL team. Kept track of Champion’s trophy only through Twitter. Attended the Bangkok International Auto Salon 2013. Drooled. Came back feeling miserable and wanting a vintage Dodge or a Mini. Even saw a cool Nissan Micra. Yes really, a Micra.

fhmindia • fhmindia

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meerra chopra
They don’t make honest actors like her anymore… The lass is ready to take on Bollywood. Words: Kumar Saurav

good news for men

“ To get a break in the industry, I didn’t tell anyone that I am Priyanka Chopra’s cousin. Why can’t people talk about my films and me?”

access

meeRra chopra

FHM: Why is there a double E and double R in your name? Meerra: It’s obviously numerology... FHM: C’mon we are not that big a fool, but why did you do it exactly? Meerra: Haha! It’s not that I am a believer of numerology. FHM: So why did you go then at the first place? Meerra: One of my friends told me that there is a really good numerologist in town, and that I must meet her, so I did and I like the kick that you get out of such conversations. FHM: So did it help? Meerra: Not at all. Life is as good as it was, and as bad as it used to be. FHM: What’s the worst thing an astrologer has ever told you? Meerra: Nothing bad, but an astrologer once told me ki Pukhraaj pehno, toh khoob chamkogi. FHM: Did you? Meerra: No. FHM: If you could control your stars, what would you like them to do for you? Meerra: Just to make my life happier than it is. I am a girl who likes to have bliss in her life. I am not career oriented at all. I want to fall in love, have kids and live a happy life where career should just be an option, but that’s a long term plan. For now, it’s career. FHM: Now that we have talked about love...tell us more about it. Meerra: It’s bliss, I guess. FHM: Have you ever got intimate with the wrong guy? Meerra: Every time. I always fall for the wrong guy. I’ve had my share of relationships, and all of them were not as rosy as you would like me to tell you. FHM: Why? What went wrong? Meerra: When I sit and think about the relationships I have had, I realise that guys get really insecure about their girl’s career, and once this feeling seeps in, the relationship goes for a toss. FHM: If you have to pick someone for a fling, who would that be? Meerra: Why would I opt for
12 July 2013 fhmindia • fhmindia fhmindia.com

meerRa chopra

access

“ I have acted in 30 films down south, and most of them have been crap. There are only 4 or 5 of them that can be classified as good work, so I would really like to not repeat my mistakes.

access

meeRra chopra a fling in the first place? FHM: Because it’s fun. You can pick any one, from this planet or the other. Meerra: Salman Khan. FHM: Uff! We are tired of hearing that name. Meerra: Why what’s wrong with him? FHM: You tell us, what’s right with him? We think he is completely mindfucked. Meerra: See, I am usually not star-struck, I know most of the people in the business, but the moment I see Salman Khan, I go completely dumb. Kuch samajh nahi aata yaar! FHM: Let’s leave that conversation because we can spend an entire lifetime discussing if he is as good as he pretends to be. So you have signed two films – the third installment of Vikram Bhatt’s 1920 and Satish Kaushik’s Gangs of Ghosts ? You have a thing for ghosts? Meerra: Hah! It’s nothing like that. Infact I don’t believe in ghosts or any other supernatural power. FHM: Why? Meerra: How can I believe in things I haven’t seen? When I was studying in the US, I visited a lot of haunted houses at a time when it was believed that ghosts roam around such places, but I didn’t expect any paranormal activity there. Even while we were shooting for Gangs of Ghost in a haveli in Surat, which was once owned by a nawab, everyone told us that it was haunted, but I didn’t expect anything out of the ordinary there. FHM: But if you don’t believe in ghosts, wouldn’t it be tough for you to play the character in these two films? Meerra: See, Gangs of Ghosts is a comical satire on life after death, so it doesn’t really have to do anything with my belief in ghosts. Also, in 1920, I am not the possessed one, which means I don’t need to look ugly for the film. FHM: Do the guys get possessed then? Meerra: Yes.

14

July 2013

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access

meeRra chopra

FHM: Did you watch 1920 Evil Returns? Meerra: Yes, I did. FHM: We didn’t like it. The first installment was much better. Meerra: Even I think so, but the third one will be even better. Vikram is the king of horror in India. FHM: What about Satish? Meerra: It’s hard to believe that someone can be as hilarious as him. FHM: Now most of the interviews that we have read about you in the media have been high on your relationship with Priyanka Chopra? Meerra: It’s annoying. What the fuck! I have a name. To get a break in the industry, I didn’t tell anyone that I am Priyanka Chopra’s cousin. Why can’t people talk about my films and me? At one point, I got so irritated that I didn’t really want to give any interviews because all that the reporters would ask for is whether I am in touch with her or not, do I call her, how is my relationship with her and so on... Every thing I have done, I have done it on my own. FHM: What are the roles that you wouldn’t like to take up? Meerra: I have acted in 30 films down south, and most of them have been crap. There are only 4 or 5 of them that can be classified as good work, so I would really like to carefully select the films I intend to do. Give me a strong role, and I will do it. It doesn’t matter if it’s shot in London or Lokhandwala. Working with a newcomer also doesn’t matter to me. FHM: Are you being careful in Mumbai? Meerra: Yes. In Mumbai, it’s easy to get roles, but good roles are hard to find. FHM: Don’t you think you are too honest? Meerra: Maybe I am blunt. A director once told me that either I should stop giving interviews or I should start being diplomatic. FHM: Have you considered his advice? Meerra: Don’t know. You tell me.
16 July 2013 fhmindia • fhmindia fhmindia.com

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letters

june 2013

FHM IS THE ONLY BOOK THAT CAN BE JUDGED BY ITS COVER They say don’t judge a book by its cover, but in FHM’s case, the age-old saying doesn’t hold true because it’s the attractive cover that tempts me to buy it every month. Needless to say that the inside stories are equally good, but the first coaxing is done by the cover. Though I am a huge fan and an avid reader of India’s most talked about men’s magazine, the gorgeous Richa Chadda made me a bigger fan of FHM than I already am. Her exquisite shoot was breath taking. 45 Things Real Men Do In Summer was an interesting read, and I request you to keep featuring such good stuff.
Parag Deshpande, Vadodara

magazine are concerned, I really liked your articles F1’s Biggest Rivalries and 100 People which Bollywood Should Disown Now. Maybe, you can feature something on cricket in your next issue, which our desi people are also crazy about. Kudos to your gadgets section as well, info-packed and fun to read. I simply love FHM and its team of creative writers and I am going to keep this issue with me for a long time.
Arijit Ghosh, West Bengal

We are sprucing up our tech and sports coverage, and June was just a hint of it. More to come Arijit. Stay with us. Richa sizzled like Salma Hayek Va! Va! Voom! Your juicy June issue was a dream come true...The sizzling Punjabi kudi Richa Chadda bared all, but her uncanny resemblance to Salma Hayek has not gone unnoticed. The pics were a sheer delight and her vitriolic answers revealed her firebrand nature. Your June issue was a fascinating cover to cover read. This month’s twin assets, Girl Next Door Ananya Dutta and Upgrade Girlfriend Sanya Srivastava will be responsible for giving many of your readers a happy ending. I am sure that was the original plan, right? The story on 100 Bollywood stars who should be thrown out was a tongue in cheek laugh riot and so bang on. I have not laughed this much in a long while. FHM, you have found a lifelong fan in me!
Capt Oscar Louis, Navi mumbai

letter of the month
FHM’s Aristotle connection You guys have perfected the art of combining humour and intelligence. I have been reading your magazine for the last four months and find it very readable, amazingly well-presented, packed with great sense of humour and a complete entertainer. The Richa Chadda interview was a revelation. That girl has spunk and is the one to watch out for. Her glib responses in your interview were thoroughly entertaining too. More power to her! 45 Things Real Men Do In Summer made me realise that it’s high time I got down and dirty and plan my next trekking trip. All F1 racing aficionados would be enthralled by your Nicki Lauda Vs James Hunt Crash article too. When Greek Philosopher Aristotle said, “Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution,” he probably had the FHM team in mind.
DR SANDEEP. S, Mumbai

Most of the sayings don’t hold true anymore Parag, and we are happy to be a part of the changing scenario.

June was wow After seeing your June cover, I simply said wow! I was delighted to see Richa Chadda on the cover, finally. What took you so long to get her? Though she played a non-glam role in Gangs of Wasseypur, she is a bold babe and her reference to leather bras, handcuffs and nudist beaches in her interview proved it. She really left me begging for more, though her inside photos were just as smokin’ hot! The June cover got my imagination running wild, if you get my drift. As far as the other features in your

Thanks for all those nice words Captain, but we would love to know how we can get better.

From FHM India Facebook Page
Uber sensual Richa...a great actor
Natasha Khan

The watch is all yours doc. Mail your howlers to fhm@maxposure.in
Esprit is an attitude and not an age; Esprit is for the young of heart who live and dress in a style that leaves others fuming.

Looked forward to the June issue, like I do every month.
Sandeep Nimmakayulu Mark Sharma

Yummmm!

The real Womaniya... hot hotter, hottest..
Vishal Chawla

No one can say that she played mother of Nawazuddin in GOW...this is real her
Anshuman Sharma

This letter has won an Esprit Alamo Black Watch

18

July 2013

fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com

funny leone Sreesanth: I am innocent. Sunny Leone: Aise to phir main bhi virgin hoon.

jokes
access
The wife storms out dragging Jim with her and jumps into a taxi. The taxi driver says, “Hey Jimmy boy! You picked up an ugly one this time.” I blew my house Three guys are skydiving and the first guy throws a brick out the window, the second guy throws a stone out the window, and the third guy throws a grenade out the window. When they land they decide to go walk into town, so they are walking down the street until they see a woman crying. The first guy asks, “What’s wrong?” The woman says, “A brick fell out the sky and killed my cat.” So they continue down the street then see a boy crying. The second guy asks, “What’s wrong?” The boy said that a stone fell out of the sky and killed his dog. They continue down the road until they see the man laughing his ass off. The third guy asks, “What ’s so funny?” The man says, “I bent down to pick up my newspaper and I farted and my house blew up.”

bad pickup lines

Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?

dad’s MMS Papa ki shaadi ka video dekh kar beta bola, “Waah Papa, kya item girls nachwaai thi aapne shadi mein. Meri shaadi mein bhi aisi hi item girls nachwaayenge. Papa: Haraamkhor chup kar, bua lagti hai wo sab teri. In a Grammar Class Teacher: He doesn’t like girls. What is ‘He’ in this sentence? Student: Gay! Two girls chatting 1st: Yesterday, my boyfriend and I went for a date. I knew it was the big night. 2nd: Really? Wow! What happened next? 1st: He took me to his flat. He kissed me gently and groped me from behind. 2nd: Wowww... Then? 1st: Then he put his hand inside my skirt and caressed me down there. 2nd: You are so lucky... 1st: He then unbuttoned the first button of my new red top that I got from Pantaloons. 2nd: You got a new top? 1st: Yes, it was on sale. I even bought a pair of denims. 2nd: Is the sale still on? 1st: Yes. 2nd: Come, let’s go shopping. How Jim died A wife treats her husband by taking him to a famous strip club. At the club, the doorman says, “Hi Jim, How are you?” The wife asks, “How does he know you? Jim replies, “Oh dear, I play football with him.” Inside, the bartender says, “The usual, Jim?” Jim says to wife, “Before you say anything, he’s on the cricket team.” Next, a stripper says, “Hi Jim baby! Do you crave the special again love?”
20 July 2013

like father, like son Pappu meets his son Santa on the stairs of a brothel. Pappu: Aap yahan kyon? Santa: Yaar ab 200-300 rupaye ke peeche teri mummy ke nakhre nahi sahe jaate! These kids Santa: My son is very naughty, he made my maid servant pregnant. Confused Banta: How the hell? Santa: He took a pin and punctured all my condoms.

A bed like this Man: Mistriji, bed majboot banana, mere bete ko bahu ke saath sona hai. Mistri: Aisa majboot banaunga ki saara mohalla bahu ke saath soye toh bhi nahin tootega. flip it Nurse: Khan saheb, mubarak ho, aap ko judwa bete hue hain. Khan: Yeh toh hona hi tha, maine koshish jo dono taraf se ki thi.

off to iraq?
A soldier came to a fork in the road and saw a nun standing there. He asked her, “Please sister, may I hide under your skirts for a few minutes. I’ll explain WHY later.” The nun agreed to his request. Shortly thereafter, the two military police came running along and asked her if she had seen a soldier running down the road. She replied, “He went that way.” After the MPs disappeared, the soldier crawled out from under her skirt and said, “I can’t thank you enough sister, but you see I don’t want to go to Iraq.” The nun said she can fully understand the fear. The soldier added, “I hope you don’t think me rude or impertinent, but you have the most beautiful pair of legs I’ve ever seen. The nun replied, “If you had looked a little higher, you would have seen the most beautiful pair of balls you’ve ever seen! I don’t want to go to Iraq either.”

Become a kitchen God

share gags, earn cash. K n ow a n y f u n n y j o k e s ? E v e ry g ag u s e d e a r n s yo u ` 2 5 0 ( h a h a ) . S e n d t h e m to f h m @ m a x p os u r e. i n

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news
access
Telescope to hunt spot aliens Astronomers are in the process of developing a 250ft telescope that would hunt for extraterrestrial life by detecting the heat that aliens produce. Called Colossus, the telescope would have double the aperture of any other yet constructed. Built at the cost of $1 billion, the telescope would be able to spot even cities on these alien planets. To fund his European trip, a Columbian poet is selling his testicles Nigerian cook survives underwater for two days 29-year-old Harrison Okene was onboard Jascon-4 when his tugboat capsized due to heavy Atlantic Ocean movements around 30kms off the coast of Nigeria. Of the 12 people onboard, divers recovered 10 dead bodies while Okene was still missing. He survived by breathing inside a four-foot high bubble until two South African divers eventually rescued him. Forbes sued by Saudi prince for undervaluing his worth

A research commissioned by Nickelodeon UK has pointed out that men fully mature 11 years after women do. The research also indicated that men are nearly twice as likely as women to describe themselves as immature. Women are more likely to consider themselves mature in a relationship and they consider men who are still dependent on their moms to be more kiddish than ones who are not.

Men grow up at 43, women at 32

In order to participate in a poetry event in Europe, 52-year-old poet Rafael Medina is selling his balls for $20,000. He said that they can be transplanted into a sterile person or used to make soup. The poet has taken this drastic step because earlier, while touring Bolivia, he had to pawn his wedding ring when he ran out of cash. Husband of six raped to death

Saudi billionaire Prince Alwaleed bin Talal has sued Forbes magazine and its editor Randall Lane in Britain for undervaluing his wealth by $9.6 billion. The magazine in its rankings of world billionaires placed the grandson of Saudi Arabia’s founder and nephew of King Abdullah at number 26, and valuated his wealth at $20 billion dollars. Blood drinking mother of two claims to be vampire

Humans are newer in India than anywhere else A new research suggests that modern humans didn’t enter India until the super-volcanic eruption of Mount Toba in Sumatra nearly 75,000 years ago. The study also states that humans left Africa to arrive in South Asia around 55,000 to 60,000 years ago. This contradicts claims that modern humans have been living in the region for twice that long. The research used archaeological and genetic data to arrive at the new date for the exodus to Asia.
22 July 2013

Nigerian businessman and husband of six, Uroko Onoja was raped to death by his six wives who insisted that he has sex with each one of them in succession. The tragedy happened when the wealthy businessman was having sex with the youngest of his spouses, and the remaining five threatened him with knives and sticks to have sex with them too. Though Onoja had sex with four of his wives in quick succession, he stopped breathing just before the fifth one entered his bed. Two of his wives were arrested for his death. He died hard, no?

A woman who drinks two litres of human blood every month says she feels like a vampire. Mother of two, Julia Caples, says that she feels much better after consuming human blood. The lady from Pennsylvania also said that that she first got obsessed with human blood when she kissed her first boyfriend and accidentally nipped his lips. Shorts and sleeping bag will now charge mobile Using a fabric that generates electricity from walking, researchers have developed a pair of shorts that will charge the dying battery while you walk down the street or up the hill. The same set of scientists have also developed a sleeping bag that will charge your phone’s battery while you are fast asleep.
fhmindia.com

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G I n B stio e Qu
01

The

HOW HARD IS IT TO SMUGGLE BOOZE?
There’s no quicker route to bankruptcy than paying for pint after pint at a festival or sports arena – beat the system with illicit, smuggled-in grog!
Words: Joe Madden Illustrations: Sam Taylor
02

THE PLAN: You’ll need a ye olde worlde top hat, of the type only ever worn by those look-how-ironic-my-festival-outfitis-ahaha guys. Underneath is a bottle o’ spirits, held in place by hairclips and laggy bands. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
03

#LOLHAT

THE PLAN: Classic prison-style smuggling: slip your booze inside a condom and glide it up inside your nipsy. You ’eard. Whether you bum-smuggle a 5cl miniature or a 2-litre box of wine will all depend on how, er, “accommodating” you are. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
04

COMPLETELY ARSEHOLED

THE PLAN: Fashion yourself a fake arm using a sling, a stuffed glove and a bottle of Grant’s for the forearm. Your actual arm, meanwhile, goes behind your back (and then quickly around your front, should security start feelin’ round). EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
24 July 2013

ARMED AND DANGEROUS(LY PISSED)

THE PLAN: Slash the air bubbles on your Nikes, turn the shoes on their sides, fill the soles with vodka and reseal with superglue. Yes, you’ve just killed a pair of £90 creps for the sake of 10 shots of voddy, but desperate times etc etc. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
fhmindia.com

SNEAKY SNEAKERS

fhmindia • fhmindia

05

06

THE PLAN: Take a bottle of mouthwash, empty it out, replace it with gin, vodka or white rum and add a drop of food colouring. Ta-daa! If you want to get all James Bond about it, superglue the tamper-evident seal back in place. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
07

MOUTHSLOSH

THE PLAN: Slash a pack of wet wipes. Hang them out and allow them to dry overnight. Soak the wipes in vodka, return to the packet and reseal with tape. Then, whenever you fancy a tipple, simply suck on a boozified wipe. Mmm! EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
08

WET-WIPED OUT

THE PLAN: Purchase one of those nine-packs of bog roll with the plastic handle on top. Slice three openings directly above the cardboard tubes, slide booze down the tubes and reseal with Sellotape. Et voilà. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
09

ON A ROLL

THE PLAN: This is the hiding-in-plain-sight trick, as used by ninjas, spies and Jimmy Savile. If security does clock the blatant bottle of Jack under your arm, simply wave your hand in the air and say, “These are not the droids you’re looking for.” EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
10

JEDI METHOD

THE PLAN: Bake a mahoossive cake, hollow out the base, stick a bottle of spirits in there and put the cake in a tupperware box. Tip: don’t bake the booze inside the cake, lest it fucking explode. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
fhmindia.com

PRISON PUDDING

THE PLAN: Make a pair of wellies look grimly untouchable by caking them in manurey mud so they look like they’ve been left to rot since Glastonbury 2011. Security will give them a wide berth – so slip some cheeky booze in there. EASE OF SET-UP: CHANCE OF SUCCESS:
fhmindia • fhmindia July 2013 25

BOOZE BOOTS

Premarital
After a Madras High Court ruling that was interpreted as saying that pre-marital sex equals marriage in India, here’s a roundup of other ridiculous laws that include being lashed or killed...
Afghanistan
Since virginity is a must for women who want to get married, you can guess the severity with which pre-marital sex is dealt with here. The torture that women who even accidentally lose their virginity have to face is well documented in media reports. A lady can even be killed for indulging in such sexual activities.

Morocco

USA

In the state of Oklahoma, premarital sex is illegal.

Recently, Moktar el-Ghzioui, the editor of the daily newspaper – Al Ahdath Al-Maghribia was given a tough time when he voiced his opinions in support of premarital sex in a country that prohibits the same under Article 490 under which anyone who is caught having sex before marriage is imprisoned. The country was also heavily criticised when a 16-year-old rape victim, Amina Filali, was asked by the court to marry the man, ten years elder to her, who raped her so that the honour of her family could be restored. Amina committed suicide in March.

Indonesia

The lawmakers of the country are planning to criminalise premarital sex by awarding five years in prison to anyone who indulges in sex before marriage. The new rules will also punish singles living together with one year in prison.

26

July 2013

fhmindia • fhmindia

fhmindia.com

Sex Laws
India Pakistan
The Madras High Court recently ruled in a judgment that if any unmarried couple of the right legal age indulges in sexual gratification, this will be considered as a valid marriage and they could be termed husband and wife. The country still considers premarital sex to be a crime, and anyone found guilty of indulging in sex before marriage can be put behind bars for up to five years.

Saudi Arabia

Maldives

fhmindia.com

fhmindia • fhmindia

July 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

A juvenile court in this popular tourist destination awarded 100 lashes to a 15-year-old girl along with eight months house arrest for engaging in premarital sex. The court read out the sentence after the girl confessed to the ‘crime’.

Iran

If Saudis have premarital sex, they are taken care off with lashes. Recently, there was a huge uproar in the country against allowing women to drive taxis, which the clerics believed would lead to increase in pre-marital sex.

Under the country’s law, any girl over the age of nine and boy over the age of 16 will have to face capital punishment for indulging in pre-marital sex.

27

He saved a TV crew from the jaws of an escaped tiger
In 2009, when a TV crew was attacked by a Siberian tiger that accidentally escaped from the trap of a group of researchers, the Russian leader shot the beast with a tranquiliser before it could do any harm to anyone.

Putin hang-glides with birds
Last year in September, the Russian president learned to fly a glider to fly along with a flock of cranes while they were being released in their habitat. These cranes, raised in captivity, didn’t know how to fly, so the environmentalists had to use a motorised hand-glider to teach them the skill.

He even knows how to arm-wrestle
The world came to know of it on August 1, 2011 when at a summer camp in the central Tver region, Putin tried flexing his arm muscle at an arm-wrestling contest.

Is Putin too cool For
He fights fire from the skies
On August 10, 2010; the Russian premier sat in a Russian firefighting aircraft Be-200 as the second pilot to take part in the bid to control the massive fire in the Ryazan region.

He can scuba-dive
Exactly one year and a day after fighting the fire in the Ryazan region, Vladimir visited an underwater archaeological site at Phanagoria on the Taman Peninsula.

He is super good with two-wheelers
He has been clicked with the Night Wolves Motorcycle group on August 29, 2011 in Novorossiysk, Russia. But that’s not it, as he was earlier seen riding a Harley Davidson on July 24, 2010.
30 July 2013

He scares whales
On an expedition to study gray whales near the Olga Harbour of Kamchatka Peninsula, Putin aimed his crossbow at the water beasts.
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He sings R&B and plays piano
At one of the charity events on December 10, 2010 in St. Petersburg, he sang Blueberry Hill and played the piano along with it. He was learning English at the time.

He is the blacksmith
On his visit to the Talsy Architecture and Ethnography Museum in Irkutsk Region in Siberia on August 1, 2009, Putin showed some skill with the metal.
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He is a blackbelt in judo

Vladimir is a black belt and has been training in martial arts since his early childhood. On December 18, 2009 he also held a training session in St. Petersburg.

He’s a rifleman
Putin is quite fond of hunting as seen in this picture clicked in the mountainous southern Siberian region of Tuva on August 15 last year.

60?
He zips, zaps,zooms
On November 7, 2007; Putin got into the cockpit of a new Renault Formula One Car and drove it for several hours at speeds of up to 150 kmph on a track in St. Petersburg.

We are not just wondering so because he’s dating models half his age but there’s a whole lot more going on there. Take a look...

He can catch fishes
Putin showed his skill at fishing near the Bush family compound in Kennebunkport, Maine on July 2, 2007. He was holidaying there with then President George W. Bush on his invitation.

At numerous occasions, he has been seen riding a horse. However, this picture clicked during a vacation in Southern Siberia on August 3, 2009 is the most famous.
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According to media reports he is really fast on ice. This picture clicked on January 3, 2010 says it all, no?
July 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav

He can tame a horse

He rides a snowmobile

31

We find out whether RO water can hold its own against its fancyschmancy bottled rivals

IS IT WORTH THE POP?
Purity When a spring water company says it is 100% pure, it is not referring to the purity of the water, but the pure source — 100% from an underground water source. Source An estimated 25 percent or more of bottled water is really just tap water in a bottle — sometimes further treated, sometimes not. Plastic Bottles Reuse of polycarbonate plastic bottles is generally not recommended by commercial bottled water manufacturers, as it may pose a health risk from two perspectives — First, everyday wear and tear from repeated washings can lead to physical breakdown of the plastic. Bacteria can harbor in the cracks, posing a health risk. Secondly, reuse of plastic water bottles can lead to bacterial contamination unless washed regularly. Corrigendum In the last issue, the price of Red Bull was wrongly mentioned as `125. The actual price is `95.
Named after its Alpine source on the south shore of Lake Geneva, Evian has been one of the world’s most recognisable water brands since it was first bottled in 1829

POSH WATER

The Less Known Water Myths

Price: `.010 Source: The tap, your kitchen sink
Pumped into every home in India by one of the privately owned water companies. We tasted purified Yamuna Water, which is also is the lifeline of NCR

Price: `200 Source: Évian-les-Bains, France

THE BOTTLE TEST THE TASTEBUDS SAYS OUR VERDICT

By appearance , it looks like a fine bottle of Champagne waiting to explode. But alas, the only thing that will explode if you happen to buy it, is your credit account. Albeit it tastes the softest on the palate, holding it and drinking water from it makes you look quite like the Swagger that every girls wants to be with, or maybe not! Describing water as ‘Pure’ in our country sounds a little dillusional, but in this case it’s true, and not in a good way.
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Regardless of the bottle you want to fill it in, you have to own a water purifier or a RO system that makes sure that you get safe, germ free water to drink. The chlorine flavour comes from the cleaning process, but Indian tap water has such dubious levels of regulation that there’s no guarantee of its quality. Loses on the taste front, but for sheer environmental friendliness and value, it’s pretty darn good.

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July 2013

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Price: `170 Source: Province of Bergamo, Lombardy, Italy

Price: `200 Source: Somewhere in Norway!

Price: `140 Source: Vergèze, Gard, France

The carbon dioxide induced water, originates from a layer of rock 400 meters below the surface where it is mineralised from contact with limestone and volcanic rocks. God must have had a lot of spare time to come up with somehting like this!

WINNER!

Two boyhood friends, almost had a Eureka Moment, when they realised that the world needs spring water from pristine and artesian water sources of Norway.

The purported “50 Million Bubbles” bottle was initially marketed as the Champagne of mineral water, and today is available in 140 countries across the globe.

The looks seems to be stolen from that of a Heineken bottle — rich green yet subtle on the eyes. A schmuck can certainly mistake it for a beer variant. This tastes the cleanest, but they’re all subject to the same bottled water regulations. You’d have to have a very sensitive palate to tell. You’d think it would be impossible to taste any difference, yet this water is a wet dream.
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We were actually taken aback by this bottle. The overall pinkish tinge of the bottle made it look the most absurd from the lot. Maybe it would work better as a perfume. This is at least 500 times pricier than tap water, but it does not taste 500 times better. It’s for people with more money than sense. If ever there was liquid proof that price is not an indicator of quality, this is it. Nice perfume, err bottle though.
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Though this is a cool looking bottle, one of us at FHM has used it as an alternative to a mug in the wilderness of Russia’s abundant forests. Works perfectly fine! Yup, tastes like water. Lives up to the expectation of pure tasting natural spring water, though we could count only up to “49 Million Bubbles” till the end of the bottle. “The best bottle on high street — thirst-quenchingly perfect for a hot summer’s day.”
July 2013
Words: Nishant Nayyar

35

THE

Girl Next Door
Sharon Fernandes

july

FHM

She is ready to go on a lunch date with cricketer Sreesanth, but won’t give him a goodbye kiss.

FHM: What works in your favour – beauty, bikini or brains? Sharon: All three actually. The beauty and the brains helped me win the Miss Indian Princess beauty pageant and I have the bikini body, so it works for me… Haha! FHM: Have you ever used your good looks to get things done? Sharon: I have never done that intentionally but honestly, things are easier if you are pretty and sexy because people want to please you. FHM: What’s the ugly side of love?

Sharon: It does not have an ugly side, but it only turns ugly when love isn’t there to make it beautiful anymore. FHM: How hungry are you for success? Sharon: Have you ever seen a hungry homeless person at an all-you-can-eat gourmet buffet? I am that hungry. FHM: Ever been unlucky in love? Sharon: Everyone is, at least once! FHM: What do you think about pretty faces being used as honey traps to tempt cricketers into match fixing? Sharon: Haha! You answered the question

yourself. It’s a TRAP, so get out while you can! On a serious note, it is sad that so many models are spineless and let something like this happen. FHM: If a bookie approaches you to be the honey trap, will you accept the offer? Sharon: Cricket is a religion and cricketers are like gods to our masses. Who am I to ruin their faith? So no, I wouldn’t. FHM: What will you tell him? Sharon: I will give them the number of a girl who would say yes. LOL!

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access

“Things are easier if you are pretty and sexy because people want to please you.”

who’S she?
DOB: October 2 Lives in: Mumbai Occupation: Modelling

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July 2013

Words: Kumar Saurav; Photographs: Neil Grake Photography

FHM: Even if it’s not for match fixing, would you date someone like Sreesanth even for a day? Sharon: Sure! If he takes me out for lunch, shopping, a long drive and then drops me home before 10. I won’t expect a goodbye kiss or a phone call after that. FHM: Have you ever been tempted by someone to do unlawful things? Sharon: NO. I like my record to be clean, I am very careful with what I say and do. FHM: How much money do you spend on a daily basis?

Sharon: I don’t really keep a track. Which girl does? If you know someone like that, ask her to get in touch with me please. FHM: What do you like to spend on? Sharon: If I really had to pick something, it would be travelling and ice cream. Also, I love random rickshaw rides during the rains even if I don’t know where I am going, and every night I just have to have ice-cream before going to bed, it’s like my little night prayer – sweet and satisfying. FHM: What’s that one thing that you really want?

Sharon: Walking down the ramp for Victoria’s Secret every year. FHM; Do you like adventure? Don’t say bungee jumping because that’s quite normal now? Sharon: Now that I can’t say bungee jumping…umm…sex on the beach, then? Is that adventurous enough? Haha! FHM: Have you really ever been adventurous in a relationship? Sharon: I guess I am still waiting for that man who will sweep me off my feet or slay a dragon for me to be adventurous.

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MoviE bonanza01
Get entertained with lots of action and drama this month.
Real Life Story

Tune In!

An inspiring story of an unsung hero

Bhaag Milkha Bhaag

02
D Day
Drama

The quest to bring back the most wanted man of India
Four unassuming protagonists, all with varying back stories and a common mission that brings them together on foreign soil to execute a mission – of bringing back the most wanted man of the country to face justice. The protagonists decide the day and time to execute the plan before almost getting away with it. Almost because something goes horribly wrong.

The clock starts ticking on July 19th

03
Drama

Lootera
This movie is an almost biographical story of former Indian athlete Milkha Singh. Reports say the reason behind the name of this movie is that those were the last words of Milkha’s father, when during the partition of India and Pakistan, Milkha
July 2013

Love finds its way even in the darkest of lights
lost his entire family. This story talks about his perseverance as an athlete and also celebrates the courageous human spirit. and Pakistani singeractress Meesha Shafi. It is also reported that Milkha Singh decided to sell the story for only a rupee to the director.
Two lovers – Varun (Ranveer Singh) and Pakhi (Sonakshi Sinha) – are childhood sweethearts, but are forbidden to marry each other by their parents. As expected, both elope and get married. Eventually the marriage hits rock bottom, leading to a divorce. Years later, the two meet again and believe they still love each other, but sadly, not all love stories have a happy ending. Love will find its way on July 05
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Words: Nishant Nayyar

The film has been directed by Rakeysh Omprakash Get ready to experience Mehra and stars Farhan the race of your life on Akhtar, Sonam Kapoor July 12.
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42

MOVIES

04

Action

The Wolverine
Ninjas, Hugh Jackman, 3D effect and big muscles…
Wolverine is sent on a mission to Japan to learn to temper his fury with a warrior’s sense of honour. There he meets Yukio, a martial arts specialist, who becomes his ally and helps him fight Shingen Yashida — a wealthy crime boss and the most wanted criminal in Japan. Made on a budget of more $100 million, the movie’s shooting was conducted in New South Wales, Australia, then moved to Japan and moved back to New South Wales, where it was finally concluded.

Hugh Jackman starrer Wolverine hits the cinemas on July 24

05
Thirller

Hummingbird
When life doesn’t give you a second chance...
Homeless and on the run from a military court martial, a damaged ex-special forces soldier navigating London’s criminal underworld seizes an opportunity to assume another man’s identity – transforming into an avenging angel in the process. The movie is almost entirely filmed at night. The filming sites included popular streets for homeless people and some scenes also demanded the involvement of the same people.

Pacific Rim 06
The ultimate combat between humanity and alien robots
Action

In the near future, giant monstrous robots named ‘Kaiju’ rise from the bottom of the ocean, resulting in a war that takes millions of lives. To combat this new threat, a special type of weapon, known as Jaegers, is deployed in the war zone. As time passes, the Jaegers prove defenseless and human race faces extinctions. As a final stand, two unlikely heroes are chosen as the last hope against the mounting apocalypse. The film is directed by Guillermo del Toro of HellBoy and Hobit fame and stars Charlie Hunnam, Idris Elab and Charlie Day.

Get ready to get entertained on July 19th
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Get ready for the apocalype on July 12th
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CARS

07
HOT, NEW, EXPENSIVE

The A-Class
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Big things come in small packages? Possibly, if they are vacuum-packed. But is the A-Class a game changer?
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H

The details are sporty, starting from the flat bottomed steering wheel

The car sports one of the sexiest air ducts we have ever seen

The spectacular looking F1 inspired seats

mercedes a-class
Price ` 21.94 lakh onwards Engine: 1.6 litre petrol Power 120.6 bhp Top Speed 202 km/h

Car Specs

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July 2013

Words: Kabeer Sharma

The swoopy headlights sport a strip of LED on the upper case, making it appear uber cool

onest confession — this is officially the dead last story to make it into the issue. No exaggeration — this is dead last, it’s not like it was written while pausing the raging printing machine, but you get the drift. The reason was simple. The launch of the A-Class and then the impending success of it (we are told 400 units were booked in the first 10 days alone) are both equally baffling. If you told me two years ago that a car roughly the size of an i20 priced between `21.94-22.74 lakhs would find takers in India, I would’ve laughed myself to an early grave. Now I just shake my head in disappointment and go about my business. That was until I sat behind the driver’s seat of one. Ranting apart, right from the elongated nose, the Diamond Mercedes Grill (which comes standard only on the first 400 A-Class cars), the two-third sun roof, the sexiest air ducts in automotive history, ESP, 7 airbags, 17-inch alloy wheels to a cabin that makes you feel like you’re in a sports car are all made with one express objective — making Mercedes-Benz palatable for the younger self-drivers. And it could very well have done that. If you are living in Mumbai or Bangalore, you’d know just how much of a premium space is, no matter where you live in these cities — which is where the A-Class steps in. This is the third generation of the A-Class and such a drastic departure from the previous versions of it that you wouldn’t believe it. The petrol, which we got for an assisted quick spin (we received our own personal babysitter

from Mercedes-Benz with the car – which proved to be strangely more fun than it sounded) is mated to a 7-speed automatic transmission and even comes with manual paddles in case you don’t want to feel lazy. We didn’t, so we let the car do all the work. In fact, after a couple of runs up and down the unpoliced parts of Delhi suburbs on a busy workday, we decided even pressing the accelerator was too much work and turned on the cruise control. And it’s here that the A-Class becomes most fun. Find the stalk under the combined wiper and indicator stalk and accelerate, decelerate, drive madly — let the car do it for you. That however, is not what you will be doing. You’d want to drive it yourself because it’s so much fun to drive. The A-Class not just looks and sounds better than its sibling, the B-Class, it also drives better. During the drive it felt planted even at 170 kmph (we couldn’t do more considering we were pretty much zig-zagging through lane-shunning traffic), which comes up with some effort. It has got a bit of flack for its 1.6 l engine in petrol, which produces 122 bhp, but despite that, the 100 comes up in a mere 9.2 seconds (Merc claims this). Surely the A-Class could’ve benefited from a bigger engine — which it does get in the 2.2 litre diesel. The diesel is also almost `80,000 cheaper than the petrol, which is a surprise. To round things up – no matter where you look at the A-Class from – inside, outside or even under, its drop dead gorgeous (kind of like an Asian girl) and it’s a proper Mercedes-Benz. Unfortunately, also like an Asian girl, you tend to wish there was more of it. At least I do.

45

BIKE

Royal Enfield

Bullet 500
July 2013

08
man thing
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Perhaps the only definitely male two-wheeler in town…

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T

he 150-250 CC bike riders (and even car owners) letch at a Royal Enfield machine just like you letch at pictures of the Girl Next Door and Access Girl that we publish each month. Right? So when the big daddy of Indian bikes rolled out the Bullet 500, we knew it would make heads turn, and it did just that. Is that all that you need to know to buy the new Bullet 500 when there are other models that look much

jazzier (Thunderbird 500) and ride better? Well, if you don’t then read on. The traditional Royal Enfield owners are so loyal to their kick-start engine that even the thought of an electric start pisses them off, but is their annoyance really a factor you should consider while buying the current Royal Enfield two-wheelers? You would if your dad is paying for your new bike and he himself is a kick-start fan. But for everyone else, the
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fact is that kick-start engines aren’t practical anymore because you really don’t want to struggle with the ignition while you are already struggling with insane traffic, potholes and diversions where the engine, no matter how good or bad it is, might just turn off erratically, and by the time you kick-start it again, the drivers around you would pump your ears with so many abuses that you will start cursing your bike for not having an electric start engine. It’s undeniable that they are easier, quicker and dependable. Back to the review, so the first time we put our machine in first gear and twisted the throttle, we kind of lost control of the bike because of the sheer power it unleashed and ended up performing an unintentional inch high rear-wheelie. It was at that moment that we realised this 500CC bike is not for fainthearted riders and has indeed been made like a gun shooting out a bullet. It’s this power, if you are not used to it, that might make handling a bit tricky in congested areas and gullies, but once you get used to it, the bike rides smooth as butter. On highways, the bike is a bit shaky, and it worried us a bit because we felt this glitch at the speed of 60kmph, which is quite a decent speed to ride on highways. We couldn’t even blame it on the weather because it was not windy at all. However, the real magic of this man machine is on bumpy roads. We say that

because to test its suspension, we picked a road so bad that you could do off-roading on it, metaphorically. At the beginning of this four kilometer stretch, when we looked at the deep potholes, we were kind of scared to zip around them, but we gave it a shot anyways and rode through them as harshly as we could. Fortunately, our bones didn’t cry out in pain, all thanks to the twin gas charged shock absorbers at the rear and the front telescopic suspension that absorb all the backbreaking and shoulder numbing pressure that potholes exert on a bike. The bike picks up really fast, faster than any other cheap cousins of CBRs and R15s, and it’s definitely easier to sustain the speed for a longer stretch because of its weight. The seat is comfortable because it’s wider and has a curve that somewhat supports your lower back and for pillion riders, there is a grab grill with a cushion end. However, one thing that we really missed is a fuel meter. It’s high time they have one on all their bikes, which we realised when the machine suddenly switched off right in the middle of a road with speeding cars and bikes on both sides. Could be a bit unsafe, no? Now the big question – is this bike worth its price tag? Yes it is, because if those girly 250 CC bikes can cost over a lakh and a half, the Bullet 500 is genuinely priced even at two lakhs.

Price ` 1,53,855 Displacement 499 CC Power 26.1 bhp @ 5100 rpm Fuel Capacity 13.5 ltrs

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July 2013

Words and pic: Kumar Saurav

bullet 500

Bike Specs

47

PROFILE

09

Fusion Jazz

Adil and Vasundhara
In conversation with India’s noted jazz duo on their new album and why their music revolves around French notes. Croissants are extra.

FHM: How did you guys meet and form the outfit?? A and V: The two of us had mutually exclusive worlds — with one of us (Adil) being a live session musician and the other (Vasundhara) being more of a studio person doing jingles and character voices. We had never heard of each other, but a common friend who played bass with Artistes Unlimited, the choir that Vasu was part of, connected us. It was a matter of 10 minutes of playing a song together and we both knew that this was it. Those 10 minutes were way back in Jan 2009. FHM: Adil and Vasundhara doesn’t seem too whacky? Were their other names you were considering too? A and V: We came up with a bunch of really lousy names, but they just weren’t working! And since the band was our baby, we went ahead and named it after us. Besides, one of our main focus was on collaborations and with a name like Adil & Vasundhara, we could easily add the ‘featuring’ bit. FHM: What goes on in your mind when you are composing lyrics? A and V: We treat music visually. Sounds are perceived as colours or shapes or images. The reigning visual motif that a song throws at us

inspires the lyrical content of the song. FHM: How does a lot of French make way into the DNA of Adil and Vasundhara’s songs? A and V: We both studied French in the past and have been in love with the language for many years. Interpreting French songs in our own way has been the only way to stay in touch with the language, since we don’t get to speak it here at all. We also have two songs — Flowers in Doon and Paranthese in French. FHM: Did you consider coming out with a free EP over an album? A and V: Though we released an EP in June 2010, our music continued to grow over time. The songs on Ampersand were written with Saurabh Suman (Bass) and Sava Boyadzhiev (Drums). We wanted to record entirely live like back in the day and capture not just the ideas behind the songs, but also the exact vibe when the songs are played live. And so we went ahead and recorded Ampersand all guns blazing at Yash Raj Studios with Shantanu Hudlikar and Abhishek Khandelwal. FHM: Why did you choose the word Ampersand for your debut album? A and V: The album is about a lot more than us. We had input from lots of people, collaborators and friends

who lent us their homes. That is why we named it Ampersand. FHM: What is the kind of sound we can expect? A and V: It narrates our collective stories. It picks on issues and experiences that are common to a lot of Indian city dwellers. All we can do is ask people to listen and to connect to the part of them that is represented

Album Art

They met at a jamroom, understood each other’s approach to music, the band was born when they got comfortable around each other.
within the album. FHM: What was the inspiration behind the album? A and V: The inspiration is our city life, as we have grown up in an urban family where all the rituals and traditions were Indian but our first language was English. Therefore, our songs have been inspired by Indian urban stories. FHM: How long did it take you to put the album together? A and V: It took about a year and a half. FHM: You guys have toured to a lot of international festivals. How’s that influenced your music and added to your experiences? A and V: Going abroad is always very educative. We get a reality check and also get to know if our music is at all relevant internationally. We meet many musicians who are way more accomplished than us, which helps us learn a lot from their experiences. On returning, some things remain with us and find their way into our sound. Others probably gestate for later.
July 2013

Their sound is a sophisticated blend of evergreen jazz standards and earthly blues
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Words: Nishant Nayyar

49

10
The Racer
Karun’s team (Murphy Prototypes) finished 13th overall in 2013. He debuted at Le Mans in 2012 and his team finished 6th. The race itself runs from 3pm Saturday to 3pm Sunday. Each team has 3 drivers who drive the car in shifts. Over the course of the race, the cars cover over 5,000 kms. This is equivalent to 17 Formula 1 Grand Prix races. 2,80,000 people show up to watch the race. 1,20,000 people watch a match at Eden Gardens and 105,000 watch the Indian F1.

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RACING

Camper Vans, Stolen radios & the Graveyard shift at le mans
Living and showering in camper vans, no luxury hotels, no helicopters and no fancy weekends. Karun Chandhok writes about what really happened, including the death of Danishborn Aston Martin Driver Allan Simonsen, at Le Mans 2013.

T

They might not look like Formula 1 cars, but the cars that compete at Le Mans are still capable of doing 320 kmph.

At 13.8 kms, the track is one of the longest tracks in the world and runs through public roads and forests.

he Le Mans 24 hours race is widely recognised as one of the crown jewels of world motorsport along with the Indianapolis 500 and the Monaco Grand Prix. This year was the 90th anniversary of the world’s most famous endurance race and after becoming the first Indian to compete in and finish the race last year, I was once again very honoured to be the only Indian amongst the 166 drivers on the grid this time around. Having finished 6th last year, I was back this time in the LMP2 class with an Irish team called Murphy Prototypes alongside a Kiwi – Brendon Hartley and a South-AfricanAmerican driver – Mark Patterson. As a driver, the build up to Le Mans is unlike any other race. Activity starts weeks in advance with simulator work and engineering meetings to ensure that the team and car are competitive straight away. The circus moves into town 3 weeks before the race as the official practice session happens a full 2 weeks before the big race. This is good for the local economies since

thousands of personnel stay on between the test and the race, which obviously helps the nearby hotels and bars but means it’s a hell of a slog for the guys in the teams. As drivers, we get a week at home before coming back for the race. Even then, we arrive on the previous weekend, which means we have a lot of hanging around before the race. I brought my cycle down and did lots of training to keep me entertained. A fun tradition associated with this race is that the cars are paraded through Le Mans town for scrutineering and then the drivers are taken through on a separate parade in front of 100,000 people lining the streets. Last year, coming to Le Mans for the first time was a very confusing time for me. I had no idea about where to stay, what routine to follow in terms of eating or sleeping and was generally relying on my teammates – Peter Dumbrek and David Brabham to hold my hand. Luckily, they had 23 Le Mans starts between them and taught me a lot, so this year I went back better prepared. All the drivers stay at the circuit in
July 2013 51

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little mobile homes or camper vans and I have to say it’s pretty cool being able to walk to work in 3 minutes. The downside of staying at the track is that you have 280,000 very noisy neighbours all in campsites around the circuit, and not to mention the 56 racecars making their share of noise! On race day, you would think the organisers would allow the drivers to have a lie in before the race, but instead, we’re up at 7am for a morning warm up session. The opening ceremony for the race is amazing, where they play the national anthem for every one of the 166 driver’s nations represented on the grid. This year they played our own Jana Gana Mana first, ahead of everyone else, which was a very special surprise. To have the anthem played out for me in front of all those thousands of people in the grandstands was a real goose bump moment. My dad and I even took an Indian flag to the starting grid to celebrate the moment. But the race started off disastrously for us when an electrical problem dropped us down the order by 2 laps and then it got worse when Mark had a collision with a Ferrari that cost another 4 laps, so before I even got in the car, we were in 52nd place overall and last in our LMP2 class. From there on, the race was a seriously hard slog with rain coming on and off, but Brendon and I pushed like
52 July 2013

(From top left) Danish drivers Allan Simonsen racing had an accident racing for Aston Martin; Far cry from F1’s poshness drivers stay in Camper vans; Karun while cycling with team mates; Hands off sticker on Karun’s radio to ward off thieves; Karun signs a fan’s overalls and derriere. hell through the night. Early on, we also got the terrible news that one of the Danish drivers, Allan Simonsen, who was racing for Aston Martin died in an accident. It was a real shock — this was the first time in my 12 year career that someone had died in a race that I was in, but as cold as it may seem, during the race you have so much to focus on that you don’t really dwell on it. It was only after the race that we had a chance to pause and reflect on Allan’s unfortunate passing. I did the night shift last year, but this time around it was an even longer and harder shift – I got in the car at 2:30am and got out at 6:20am! I have to say that stint was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my career. We were chasing from behind, so I was taking big risks in the rain to make up time. The fatigue really

Drivers stay at the circuit in camper vans. It’s pretty cool to walk to work in 3 minutes, but it also means 280,000 very noisy neighbours.
started to set in, as by that point I’d been awake for nearly 24 hours apart from a little powernap and it’s

amazing what an effect that has on the system. When you’re charging along at 320 kmh through the forests in pitch dark, the mind starts to play tricks on you – you start to see parts of the track that aren’t there, hearing noises that don’t mean anything or seeing random bits of light that aren’t really other cars but people in the grandstands! It was hard work, but ultimately satisfying because we had now dragged ourselves back into contention with 8th place. Brendon and Mark made up another place in the morning, which meant that we finished the race in 7th place in our class – a fantastic recovery from 22 hours before. Le Mans is a race that’s frustrating, painful, satisfying, magical and highly addictive – I can’t wait to go back next year!

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RACING

11
Hero Movie

04
Geek Out

WATCH SUPERMAN NOT HAVE A MENTAL BREAKDOWN
The last real superhero film, The Dark Knight Rises, was pretty damned good. It had arse-kicking, mental gizmos and a dude that sounded like Scooby-Doo talking through a tannoy. But part of us feels Batman spent a chunk of it sorta not being Batman. He was hobbling around, moaning about stuff, sounding all downbeat. But that’s what modern superheroes are like now, right? They’re dark. They’ve got issues. They’re as morally compromised as the super villains – and in 2013, that’s starting to wear reeeal thin. It all began with 1986’s Watchmen comic series: next to cackling sociopath The Comedian and growling vigilante Rorschach, do-gooders like Flash and Wonder Woman suddenly seemed goofily old-fashioned. Soon, the “amoral bad-ass” was everywhere – and they infiltrated the cinema with grimacing assassins (Elektra, Wolverine); melancholy monsters (The Hulk, Hellboy); grieving vigilantes (The Punisher, Batman); or, at best, smugly wreckless playboys (Thor, Iron Man). So, here’s our message for Hollywood: enough. We all get enough doom watching the news, ta. Here’s raising a toast to last month’s Man Of Steel movie as it resets Supes back to his best: a straight-forward good guy with a penchant for kicking arse who’s not in the least bit cool, dark or edgy, but is 100% missile-punching, airplane-catching awesome.

Every man loves smashing things up, doing DIY, nerding out on something and looking at very pretty things, so when those four worlds collide, holy mother mercy of hell do we get excited. Photographer Todd McLellan’s

DISSECT EVERYTHING AROUND YOU

new book Things Come Apart is all those things. He dissects 50 classic objects and lays the parts of them out all neat. It’s almost too amazing. Things Come Apart (Thames & Hudson, `1538) is out now.
Additional Words: Ben Arnold, Joe Madden

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Top Tunes
GIVE YOUR EARS A WORKOUT
Four new tracks that will make your life better

Lady-pleaser

THIRST DEMON DANCE Taken from: The Hurry Taken from: Pythons And The Harm by City by Surfer Blood And Colour They were the coolest Solo guitar slinger ’n’ band of 2010 with their singer Dallas Green’s debut Astro Coast , and laid-back folk rock is this single from album unbelievably note-perfect, number two is another and so chilled out that slice of ocean-gazey rock your heartbeat may drop we can’t get enough of. to a dangerously low level. Listen to when…driving Listen to when…you need to the beach with the to soothe your hungover windows down. head.
Foot-tapper

I WILL STEAL YOU BACK Taken from: Damage by Jimmy Eat World Everyone knows at least one Jimmy Eat World song, most likely from 2001’s Bleed American . The rockers have still got it – this track’s the pick of the bunch. Listen to when…turning your BBQ into an all-nighter.

WHO’S AFRAID OF 138?! Taken from: Intense by Armin Van Buuren A classic dance-floor belter from the DJ’s fifth album. The record took three years to perfect, but judging by this offering, it was most definitely worth it. Listen to when…getting pumped up for a big night out.
Shape-thrower

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Bro-down

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SURVIVE THE END OF THE WORLD… FOUR TIMES OVER
Here’s how this summer’s big-screen armageddon films compare to what we’ve already beaten in the past

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survive
Catastrophe Cinema

After Earth (out Now) With Earth abandoned for 1,000 years, angry animals and terrifying The Matrix machines move in. Will (1999) Smith and son try to calm everyone down.

? Get back at now to h w wo ac rk o p ! A eird smell in h ’s a w e r e er h e T

Independence Day (1996)

s gets exci tin new e g Th
buy anythi c i ng n pa
Knowing (2009)

Night of the Living Dead (1968)

World War Z (out 21 June) A decade-long zombie war leaves the planet in a pretty shabby state. Enter Brad Pitt to sort it all out.

Mad Max (1979)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978) Oblivion (2013)

Dr Strangelove (1964) Kubrick’s masterpiece sees the world at the brink of nuclear destruction.

Re

nt! Repe pe

Beneath The Planet of the Apes (1970) Our simian overlords finally get their own back KISS YOUR in BALLS When Worlds a more decisive fashion GOODBYE! Collide (1951) than hurling poop from their enclosure.

The Omega Man (1971)

Armageddon (1998) Bruce Willis and his selfless drilling dudes are ludicrously tasked with saving the world.

Melancholia (2011)

! nt

Children of Men (2006)
The Road (2009) The film adaptation of the classic novel really goes to town on how little hope there will be among the rapists and cannibals.

War of the Worlds (2005)
28 Weeks Later (2007) It might be bloody terrifying, but the Rage virus’ skirmish with mankind was no match for our zombie-facemincing helicopters. Have that, you smelly dead bastards.

The World’s End (out Sep) When armageddon is approaching, mankind’s only hope is Pegg and Frost: a ginger hunting for a pint and a portly fellow with a love of Cornettos.

Terminator 3 : Rise of the Machines (2003)
The Day After Tomorrow (2004)

This Is The End (out Sep) If this end-of-the-world scenario is to be believed, the final days will be rude, amusing and littered with an all-star cast, like James Franco and Seth Rogen.

Twelve Monkeys (1995)

The Day The Earth Stood Still (2008)
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into her own... one string bikini, one lesbian admirer and one Bad pick-up line at a time. How’s that for a

neha sharma Is Breaking out

Strapline?
by: kabeer Sharma

eha Sharma has a rather unfortunate choice in movies. She is also prone to dropping the four letter expletive and unlike other people she doesn’t try and change it to fish mid sentence. Plus, she always played a man’s role when her convent school put up shows of the Bard’s plays. But even then, she stands out more for her choice of co-stars and her bikini collection. She has recently starred opposite the Unbendables – the Deol’s in Yamla Pagla Deewana 2, played the female lead to Vivek Oberoi in Jayantabhai Ki Luv Story, was part of an ensemble cast with Ritesh Deshmukh and Tushar Kapoor in Kya Super Kool Hain Hum and cosied up to Emraan Hashmi in

Crook. But since this is FHM, we’d rather focus on her bikini collection. Neha: I wouldn’t say my career has been fucked up, but yes it’s not perfect. Which is why it needs my full energies. Also, there was Chirutha? I was opposite Ram Charan in it (it’s a Telegu movie in which she was discovered). FHM: Aren’t you too skinny to be a South Indian movie actress? Neha: I was supposed to be marooned on an island for half of the movie wearing really tiny shorts… I don’t think a fat girl would have worked. FHM: Even then, the filmmakers didn’t try to sneak some extra ghee into your

food to try and fatten you up? Neha: Hahaha. Not all actresses down South are fat you know. And before you ask me, I also wore a tank top and we stayed at a nice hotel with a great gym. I can’t eat everything I want anymore… Hazards of the job. FHM: Yeah it gets in the way of sexy shoots, doesn’t it? Neha: Yes, it also means scrambled eggs without milk or cream (makes a face). FHM: That’s a bummer, but you know there is always Photoshop. Neha: Fuck you. Who does Photoshop? (pauses) Okay, fine, people do it. But I am happy with what god gave me. And I like to show it off. FHM: (Smug) Of course you do. The shoot is fairly sexy for a girl from Bihar who went to a convent. Tell me about the shorts you wore in Chirutha? They must have gotten damn filthy by the end of it… Neha: I was wondering when you’d get to that. Yes they got filthy, but we had two pairs. FHM: How did you end up on an island though? Neha: Our jet ski ran out of fuel. And then slowly we fall in love. FHM: Sounds like fascinating cinema… Did you break into a dream sequence in the middle and dance in the streets of New York wearing chiffons? Neha: It was a lot of fun. And, I’m ignoring the sarcasm. FHM: So about this school of yours… how was it? Neha: You know how convents’ are… FHM: Not as much as we’d like to know…just as much as we could see from over the boundary wall… Neha: I know I shouldn’t have said that. So what do you know about convents? FHM: They are girls’ schools and the sports room is a hotbed of lesbian activity… Neha: Really? Is that what you think happens in a convent? FHM: Of course, it doesn’t? Neha: I don’t know about lesbians…I do know that I almost became a nun. FHM: Nun! Haha. Look how that turned out. Neha: I used to recite passages from the scriptures all through whole school, so… FHM: So you decided to
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NEHA SHARMA

NEHA SHARMA

“Who does Photoshop?

Okay, fine, people do it. But I am happy with what god gave me. And I like to show it off.”

become a nun! Good thing you didn’t. Did you ever get hit on by a girl? Neha: Yes, once. FHM: You can’t answer that in two words. Details? Neha: It’s exactly like how a man hits on a woman. They’ll come up to you, try to make conversation and drop subtle hints that they’re interested. Brush their hair, touch your arm… FHM: Get to the fun stuff. What line was used on you? Neha: No chance I am telling you that! But I don’t think its disgusting when someone walks up to you and says they are interested whether they are a man or a woman, unless they are being damn cheesy of course. FHM: That’s okay, but what about the lesbian thing? Neha: I have never gotten the big deal about lesbian fantasies. FHM: It’s not hype, just curiosity. Purely for academic purposes… At least tell us if you have met a hot lesbian? Neha: You haven’t? FHM: Not really. Neha: Don’t worry, there is a lot of life ahead of you… FHM: You’ve single-handedly
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managed to kill the ‘10 best lesbian pick-up lines’ feature. Neha: Did I? Hurrah! FHM: On to boring things then – you say you played only male characters in Bard’s re-enactments – did you go to a supermodel only school? Neha: Haha! Look at you flirting. I have just always been very attracted towards male roles. I played Shylock in Merchant of Venice. I’d dress up like a guy even for Christmas celebrations and was a bit of a tomboy. FHM: Tomboy is one thing, but the obsession with being a guy is a bit much no? Neha: I went to NIFT after that and got over it. Any complains? FHM: No, no! You turned out top notch. But going from a convent to NIFT must have been tough in terms of dealing with guys and all? Neha: Thank god it wasn’t. I got enough attention from boys and liked it. I think

whether it’s a man or a woman, attention is good. FHM: You must’ve gotten some legendary pick up lines? Neha: I don’t think they work on me. Plus, I don’t keep track of them. But once this guy tried a really bad one – we’d gone out drinking with a group and this guy threw some ice on the floor, stepped on it and said, “now that we’ve broken the ice, shall we dance?” FHM: Priceless. Did it work? Neha: No way! FHM: So what works – if a bloke spots you at a pub and wants to come and buy you a drink? Neha: Just approach me and say hello, start a convo. Don’t try to pour all your humour and intellect into one line and use it on me. If it happens, it happens. If not, move on. FHM: So what about the beach? Are you the sort who’d be hanging in a bikini sipping a cocktail? Neha: I do love to swim on a holiday, but I’m not the kind to just be sitting and sipping cocktails. I’d probably be running around. FHM: And do you meet Indian women on a beach in a sari who check you out when you are in a bikini? Neha: Of course, they check you out from head to toe, especially if you are wearing a stringy bikini. FHM: So are you… wearing a stringy bikini? Neha: Sometimes. But I haven’t tried wearing one on a Mumbai beach and am not going to either (laughs). FHM: That’ll be some sight! Neha: I have a fairly large bikini collection though. FHM: Hallelujah! So are there any basics to have or just the sexier, the better? Neha: Sexier the better. But you need a black and white, a black-white and red, a hot pink, a green and yellow… I just try buying a bikini from every place I visit. FHM: We’re guessing you’re a beach bunny? Neha: I love beach holidays! It’s the closest you can feel to nature. The only problem is I tan too quickly. My skin burns, peels and gets itchy, so I can’t be in the sun too long. FHM: Sounds attractive – bikini

babes scratching themselves. You should use FHM’s services, we’re A-grade suntan lotion appliers. Neha: I’d let you know if it comes to
that. I have been thinking I would want to open a restaurant… FHM: By the beach? Neha: That’d be lovely. I would’ve been a chef if I wasn’t an actress… FHM: Any specialties? Neha: My carrot cake with cream cheese. I’ll make it for you soon. FHM: What about breakfast? Neha: I make killer scrambled eggs with salmon… FHM: Fabulous! We hope the

experience you know exactly when to stop cooking. FHM: Okay, but before brekkie concentrate on my career. And men are all ‘Why aren’t you talking to me’, ‘Going out with me’ and I want to have time for my man. FHM: Who are these needy then you are the exception. FHM: You bet we are! Neha: So tell me, do you guys get excited looking at covers? FHM: Yup, it’s a mandate. We got real excited with yours. Neha: How come when you see so many hot, naked women you don’t go off women? FHM: What logic is that? Neha: Aww, I’m teasing! So tell me what are the sort of girls you date? FHM: Nutter women, almost exclusively. Neha: Really? Shit. We should get a drink so you can tell me about it. FHM: Sure, it’s quite the ‘ice-breaker’. Neha: Hah. Dude. FHM: What sort of place would you like to go? Will you end up dancing on the bar? Neha: I haven’t danced on top of a bar yet. I do love dancing though and might end up there when drunk with friends, but I don’t have friends in Mumbai. Last time I went out and danced was when we went clubbing in London while shooting Yamla Pagla Deewana 2. But otherwise I’m a little shy and conscious. FHM: Yeah, you really do look shy in the pictures… Neha: I’ll get over the shyness by the next cover…promise.

eggs aren’t too runny or dry… Neha: No they won’t be. With

plans…are you single? Neha: Yes, I’m single. I have to

idiots you’ve been dating? Neha: You aren’t like that? Well,

We are counting on it!
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NEHA SHARMA

being damn cheesy of course”

“its disgusting when someone walks up to you and says they are interested whether they are a man or a woman, unless they Are

11 CARD DRIVEN movable, poseable
HIGH PIXEL, GRAPHIC

action packed

SUPER HEROINES
Spandex outfits, and dangerously hot bodies are what come to mind when we think of super heroines and devious vixens
words by

Arup das; design by Lokesh Mishra

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AMAZON PRINCESS

Wonder Woman

most popular Heroine

(Diane Prince)

Who is she? A total package of beauty with brains and brawns and of course, how can we forget, the star spangled hot pants. She is the Princess Diana of the immortal Amazons and was sent to Earth to spread their idealistic message of strength and love. She resides in Washington, D.C. and fights crime and is trying to figure our customs of hate, war and even dating. Powers: She has superhuman strength and speed. Her trademark bracelets are bulletproof, while the Golden Lasso of Truth is indestructible and can restore people’s lost memories, hypnotise them, get rid of illusions, as well as protect those in its circumference from magical attacks. Nemesis: Cheetah

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action, packed super heroines
Wannabe Batman
(Helena Bertinelli)

Huntress

Heroine with shades of grey Who is she? Credit should be given where its due and the Huntress gets full marks for being one of the first brooding heroines who loves to showoff her hot body. She clearly believes in if you’ve got it, flaunt it and is an Italian-American daughter of a murdered mafia family who grew up swearing vengeance on the criminal underworld. She made her debut in a six-part series with Batman but the cape crusader disapproves of her willingness to kill. Powers: This vigilante is a mortal and her ninjutsu moves and deadly gadgets make her lethal. She also heavily relies on a collapsible crossbow, which is sheathed in her boot. Nemesis: Catwoman

Ripped Gauntlet Bearer of Hope

Witch blade
(Sara Pezzini)
Most revealing Heroine

Who is she? She She is a New York City Police Detective and is the latest in a long line of bearers of the

Witchblade – a mysterious artifact that takes the form of a deadly and powerful mystical gauntlet. The Witchblade chooses one woman in a generation, who must then stand between the forces of Light and Dark and preserve The Balance. We love the outfit, as it does not leave much to the imagination. Powers: The Witchblade has the power to heal, creates a body armour and shoot energy blast. Nemesis: Kenneth Irons

Lethal touch

Rogue

(Annie Marie)

Sinful southern belle heroine Who is she? The X-Men’s southern lass’ white streaked hair along with that tight bodysuit makes her stand out. Her accent makes the words sound like sweet molasses, making conversations more delicious. Not to mention those wide hips

that keep a loose-fitting belt up in that delicious low-hanging fashion. She was originally the adopted daughter of evil mutant, Mystique, who brought her into the fold of the Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. She later joined the X-Men after absorbing the powers of Ms. Marvel and fearing for her sanity as well as wanting to learn how to control her abilities. Powers: She absorbs and takes other mutants power. This also helps her in defending herself as one touch from her could lead to death. Nemesis: Magneto

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THE Golden Age girl

Hawkgirl

(Shiera Hall)

Airbourne heroine Who is she? If Red Bull gives you wings then the Hawkgirl will definitely give you a high. Hawkgirl is the reincarnated spirit of Egyptian princess, Chay-Ara. It is a curse that rebirths itself every generation. Hawkgirl was reincarnated as Shiera Sanders Hall before her soul eventually found its way to her grandniece, Kendra Saunders, the most recent Hawkgirl. Powers: The Hawkgirl uses her Thanagarian powers to serve and protect her adopted home. The Nth metal gives her super strength and lets her fly. She is a weapons expert in most melee weapons but is usually carrying her signature mace (made from Nth metal) and a dart gun (designed by the Mole). Nemesis: Shiera Hall

Suggestive Jester
(Harleen Quinzel)

Harley Quinn
mischievous VIXEN Who is she? This looney character is madly in love with the Joker. But one has to agree that no can manage to make a clown look sexy like Harley. She was a psychiatric intern at Arkham Asylum and became fascinated with her fellow inmate, the Joker. He gained her sympathy and seduced her, causing her to fall madly in love with him and when he escaped the mad house, she followed his footsteps. Powers: Being psychotic is what makes her get high on violence and on being unpredictable. With an abusive and manipulative boyfriend like the Joker, one was to be completely insane. She is always playing around with a gun itching for some action. Nememis: Batman

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Shape shifter

mystique

(Name unknown)
Stunning blue vixen Who is she? She’s his seductive mutant’s history is a mystery. A shape shifter, her all blue look just adds to her deadly irresistible charm. She is one of the X-Men’s most deceptive and cunning opponents and is happy to do whatever it takes to get the upper hand. This also makes her an important asset for Magneto. Powers: She has the ability to shape-shift into anyone she chooses, even those of the opposite gender and is well versed in all manners of armed and unarmed combat. Memesis: X-Men

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action, packed super heroines

Mysterious mind bender

Chilling factor

Raven

Killer Frost
Ice queen vixen

(Rachel Roth)

(Louise Lincoln)
Who is she? Louise took up the mantle after her mentor, Crystal Frost died and she recreated the thermafrost accident becoming as ruthless as her predecessor and beginning her own personal vendetta against Firestorm, who she blamed for Crystal’s death. She briefly served as a member of the Suicide Squad and sold her soul to Neron for more power. Powers: Killer Frost has the ability to generate extreme temperatures of cold from her body. Killer Frost can also use her powers to summon gusts of super-cold air, which she uses to hurl frozen objects (usually ice daggers) at specified targets. Nemesis: Firestorm

Sinister but irresistible vixen Who is she? Raven is one of the members of the Teen Titans as well as a co-founder of this group, though she has various incarnations, both good and evil. She is the daughter of a human mother named Arella and an inter-dimensional demon known as Trigon. Raven is an empath who can teleport and control her “soul-self”, which can fight physically, as well as act as Raven’s eyes and ears away from her body. Powers: The Raven can teleport, heal and manipulate time, emotions and even dimensions. Nemesis: Trigon

Assassin to die for
(Elektra Natchios)

Elektra

Purrrr time

Catwoman
(Selina Kyle)

Hot assassin has shades of both a heroine and vixen Who is she? Daughter of a Greek magnet, Elektra’s world changed when her father and her were kidnapped and he died in the process. Losing all faith, she went rogue and became an assassin. Her red costume and perfectly shaped legs make her deadly in all possible ways. Powers: She studied martial arts at an early age and later perfected the art after her father died. She is an expert marksmanship and a swordsmanship. Apart from her attractive looks, she also has the power to hypnotise people. Nemesis: Kirigi

Modern day Robin Hood Who is she? When she was just a girl, her mother Maria committed suicide and her violent father Brian drank himself to death soon after. Remanded to the Sprang Hall Juvenile Detention

Center, she opted instead to take her chances on the streets of Gotham City and survived through petty theft. Power: To protect herself, she studied martial arts. With her sharp wit and skills as a natural gymnast, she quickly became the slickest cat burglar that the Gotham City Police Department had ever dealt with. She supplements her powers with diamond claws on her gloves and a whip. Nemesis (if any): Batman

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FIRST music instrument

Raghu Dixit Guitars

Papon Harmonium

“The first instrument I ever started playing was the guitar and it was at the age of 19! It was during my 2nd year bachelor’s degree”.

“I was around five years old and both my parents are trained in classical music and both knew how to play it. That’s how I began”.

Karsh Kale Drums

“I did have a natural inclination towards drums, as I was able to show promise as a drummer by age 6 or 7”.

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FIRST music instrument

my first instrument
We talk to ace musicians about their first instrument and how they knew they had found their calling in those wonders that make music.
Words Nishant

Nayyar

Anindo Bose Keyboards

“By age 12, I was playing more complicated tunes and so my parents got me a more advanced keyboard”.

Shirish Malhotra Saxophone

“The saxophone is not as difficult as it looks”.

Monica Dogra Piano

“I remember my mom buying it from a garage sale and I learned piano for 6 years”.

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FIRST music instruments
How to BUy a Piano by Monica Dogra
her love for music came from her mother who is a singer as well My first instrument was a secondhand upright piano. I remember my mom buying it from a garage sale and I learned piano for 6 years. I never had much interest in it, but I’m grateful that I can play and read music when I’m writing songs now. Was it easy Learning piano was easy enough… kind of like learning your ABC’s. I began playing when I was 5 years old. I found that once I hit a certain level of proficiency though, I plateaued and didn’t really graduate past playing Phantom of the Opera. I really enjoyed listening to songs, and figuring out how I wanted to play them on my own. My mom used to jump with joy when she’d hear me playing some Lata Mangeshkar and the likes on an English instrument. Expert Tips With music, there is no real recipe except that you must give it your time and attention. I also think it’s a great idea to have someone teach you, as the relationship between student and teacher is one of the most magical when you add music to the mix. Things to watch out for when buying a piano It may sound crazy, but if you’re buying a used piece, make sure it was in an environment of love. I believe instruments carry the spirit of whoever made them. In many ways, it’s like it is in Harry Potter when the magic wand chooses the student! BEst bRand Steinways are an oldie but always a goodie!

How to BUy a Saxophone by Shirish Malhotra
he is India’s most renowned flutist and Saxophonist When I got my hands on a Vito saxophone, I got pretty used to it and learned the tricks real easily, but got bored of it as well. However I do recommend Vito saxophones for all amateurs. Was it easy The saxophone is not as difficult as it looks, some students are able to play scales in a couple of lessons. For me I already played the flute, so that helped with the fingering. Expert Tips Online there are many resources that help you like YouTube of course, as well as woodwind fingering guide, wikifonia, irealb, and forums like saxontheweb. I also just did a course on coursera. org which was really cool. Things to watch out for when buying a Sax Most brands available today are from USA, Europe, Japan and even Taiwan — these can be bought blindly, but there are also good Chinese brands like Bauhaus Walstein, RSR, Chateau, Taishan etc. My preference is for vintage instruments, especially Keilwerths and Conns or Bueschers. best Brand One of the most sought after brand is Henri Selmer Paris. Not to be confused with Selmer USA, which now only manufactures from China. There are some boutique brands like Rampone, Borgani and Powell too, but best values for beginners are probably Bauhaus Walsteins or RSR , which are great copies of the precisely engineered Yanagisawas.

Where to learn Piano

There are various mucis academies around the country for professional piano coaching. Alternatively, you can start to get the jist of the instrument through mobile applicatons like Magic Piano and Piano HD Free (on iOS) or Piano Master Free and Pianist HD (on Android )

four more who played the piano

four more who p

Krystian Zimerman A Polish pianist who has been hailed as one of the finest living pianists. 72 July 2013

Martha Argerich The Argentinian is winner of 3 Grammy awards amongst several others accolades.

Evgeny Kissin Recognised as a child prodigy at the age of 6, he made his debut performance 4 years later. fhmindia • fhmindia

Murray Perahia He is the recipient of 2 Grammy Awards and 8 Gramophone awards.

Sonny Rollins Rollins is widely recognised as one of the most important and influential jazz.

Ernie Watts He is best known for his work with Charlie Haden and his Grammy Awards as an instrumentalist. fhmindia.com

FIRST music instruments
How to buy a guitar by raghu dixit
he is renowned for his fusion folkfare performances The first instrument I ever started playing was the guitar and it was at the age of 19! Was it Easy Well, I learnt it as part of a bet, and I had a point to prove, so I did not think about it being easy/ tough to learn at that time. Expert Tip Get your basics right — once you have that down, then experiment. I don’t think there is any fixed method to learn an instrument, you should just try various things and figure things out yourself. Things to watch out for when buying a Guitar If this is your first time buying an instrument, get someone who is experienced or knows the instrument to check for the basics, intonation, fretboard, and general instrument quality. A really good instrument makes a big difference when you play and especially if you are learning. So be generous. Expert Tips I have a whole bunch of guitars, but I swear by my Gibson guitars.

Where to learn the sax

Where to learn the guitar

The easiest way is to do it via online video channels on YouTube. You could follow channels like HelloSaxophone, MusicExchangeMCR, Expert Village and eHowMusic to learn the tricks of this trade. You can also try these free apps: Sonny Rollins App and Vandoren (on iOS)

Though there are a zillion guitar training centers around the quaint corners of every city, we suggest you go and check the tutor profile before enrolling yourself into a course. Smartphone owners can try their hands at strumming on these apps: Guitar Free and Chord Bank (on iOS) or Real Guitar and Gibson Learn+Master (on Android)

play Saxophone

four more who play The Guitar

Jerry Bergonzi Jerry is highly regarded for his performances and his authored books on sax. fhmindia.com

Chris Potter He is best known for his solo 15 albums and other associated acts.

Jeff Beck oHe is one of the three noted guitarists to have played with The Yardbirds.

Allan Holdsworth oHe has released twelve studio albums as a solo artist in a period of more than four decades. fhmindia • fhmindia

Tommy Emmanuel oHe is best known for his complex fingerstyle technique and use of percussive effects.

Riley B. King o Popularly known as B.B. King, no guitar compilation is complete without him. July 2013 73

FIRST music instruments
How to BUy a Harmonium By Papon
Angarang Mahanta is one of Indian indie’s most compelling voices The first musical instrument I played was the harmonium. I was around five years old and both my parents are trained in classical music and both knew how to play it, that’s how I began. Was it easy I honestly don’t remember how easy or difficult it was because I always had my parents to guide me through the learning process. I pretty much taught myself how to play the harmonium as I watched my parents. ExPert Tips Playing the harmonium, as it is with any instrument, requires a lot of practice and of course, as much as you can learn yourself, it really helps to have someone to guide you. Things to watch out for when buying a Harmonium? There’s no hard and fast rule when it comes to picking a harmonium, like there is with other instruments, like, say for the guitar. It would be a good idea to have someone trained in classical music to help you out. ExPert Tips If you’re really serious about playing the harmonium, pick one up from Kolkata, any of the brands available there are good. WhEre to learn Keyboards

Amatuers can try a few notes on keyboards from the DIY course available on wikihow.com and videos available on YouTube channels PianoLearners and HowToBasic. While on your phones you can check these free apps: Piano DX Free and Music Studio Lite (on iOS) or Piano Master Free (on Android)

Where to learn harmonium

four more who played Harmonium

Picture: Shiv Ahuja

Though the use of harmonium is gradually fading away, nothing can match up to the rythms and tunes it can produce. You can learn the harmonium by following YouTube channels like GeethanjaliVideos and Yana Nimous or take a DIY course on sites like www. soundofindia.com

four more who

Tori Amos This classically trained singer is best known for her mezzo-soprano vocal range. 74 July 2013

Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan He was popular for the use of harmonium in most of his ghazals.

NICO This German singer was known for her work with Bob Dylan and Tim Hardin amongst others.

Ivor Cutler The Scottish songwriter for best known for his performances on BBC Radio.

David Bryan He is best known as the keyboard player of the classic rock band, Bon Jovi.

Peabo Bryson He is well known for his contribution to several Disney animated feature soundtracks. fhmindia.com

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FIRST music instruments
How to Buy a keyboard by Anindo bose
Anindo is one eight part of india’s famous fusion rock band ‘Advaita’ At the age of four, I played the keyboard for the first time and my parents knew that I had found my calling. I got my first keyboard at 8 and I found myself spending a lot of time with it and figuring out tunes myself. Was it Easy It was all about discovering music and notes, and I guess I realised my deep connection with the keyboard as time passed by. By age 12, I was playing more complicated tunes and so my parents got me a more advanced keyboard. I feel you need to have a connect with your instrument to actually ace it. Expert tips The best way to learn any instrument is to spend time with it, live and breathe it, be obsessed with it, having said that, there are a lot of resources available on the Internet, so there’s no harm in using those. It’s also important to play with fellow musicians because locking yourself up in a room and practicing for 12 hours a day will take you nowhere. Things to watch out for when buying A keyboard There are various kinds of keyboards, some that offer the traditional acoustic sounds, some which are very good for electronic music, others that just allow you to create your own sounds from scratch, and then there are controller keyboards that are meant to be used with a laptop to play sounds using them. Best Brand Korg and Roland have very good keyboards starting from basic to advanced models.

How to Buy up Drums by Karsh Kale
The renowned American born Artist Is known for his fusion music vibes! I started on pots and pans, cookie tins and boxes before graduating to a snare drum and then to a series of ever growing drum kits as I was growing up. I used to imitate other drummers like Buddy Rich and soon people like John Bonham, and Neil Peart. Was it easy I did have a natural inclination towards drums, as I was able to show promise as a drummer by age 6 or 7. It gets harder the more you learn though. How did you go about learning it I used to listen to tapes and see drummers on TV. I was like a sponge, so I could see something, record it to memory and then sit in my room and work it out till I got it right. Expert tips With any instrument, you have to want to play it all the time. In the beginning, you should be spending most of your time on that instrument. No matter the style, practice and play are the only ways to get anywhere as a musician. Things to watch out for when buying a drum kit It’s better to do your research beforehand. You can always go online and read a lot about the instrument you are about to buy, as well as about the one who is selling the instrument. All the info is out there. Best Brand It’s not about the brand, it’s about the player. Always!

Where to learn Drums

Cost of ownership is quite high for a proper drum kit. Thus, if you are an amatuer who wants to try his luck with drums, then do try out these free apps: Real Drums and Pocket Drums (on Android) or Ratatap Drums Free and Spotlight Drums (on iOS). Alternatitively, you can try out Rhythm Pad on iOS, which is a drum pad app.

play keyboard

four more who play The Drums

Jem Godfrey He has produced two tracks that have earned him two Ivor Novello Award nominations. fhmindia.com

Benmont Tench This keyboardist is best known as the founding member of Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers.

Mike Portnoy Rick Allen Neil Peart The former Dream Known for overcoming the Recipeient of numerous Theater drummer is in complete amputation of his awards, he is best known the top 10 list of 50 left arm and continuing to for his technical drummers of all time. play with Def Leppard proficieny and stamina. fhmindia • fhmindia

Joey Jordison Best known for his work as the primary drummer and co-songwriter for the band Slipknot. July 2013 75

Why the hell is T

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Tennis so boring?

It has been a couple of decades since racquets were flung and broken, tantrums were thrown and referees were abused on the tennis court. Have tennis’s new A-team made it too much of a Gentleman’s sport? (read boring)
Words by Veer Singh

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n January 10, 1982, top-ranked John McEnroe and Jimmy Connors, then the world number three, almost came to blows during the final of the Michelob Light Challenge in Rosemont, Illinois. In a tense fifth set of the exhibition match, Connors crossed the net to give McEnroe a piece of his mind. It was a few seconds before Superbrat McEnrore pushed him away and officials intervened. Although it didn’t make front-page news anywhere the next day, it did add to the legend of one of tennis’ greatest rivalries. Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal are inarguably two of the greatest tennis players ever. Of that there is no doubt. And going by the number of times they’ve played each other, they also are each other’s biggest rivals. But hearing them speak about each other or to each other, all one hears are words like “awesome, great, respect” . There’s no tension between the two. No exchange of words or even looks, over a bad line call. It’s like a mutual admiration society where one falls over the other to appear genteel. They are too reasonable, too sportsmanlike and well, too boring. We thought we were the only ones till Ernest Gulbis verbalised those very thoughts. At the French Open, where Nadal won for a record 8th time, Gulbis had a go at the top four players for what he sees as their boring and overly polite demeanour on and off court. Speaking to French sports newspaper, L’Equipe, the world number 40 from Latvia, said: “I respect Roger, Rafa, Novak (Djokovic) and (Andy) Murray but, for me, all four of them are boring players. Their interviews are boring. Honestly, they are crap. I often go on YouTube to watch interviews. With tennis, I quickly stop. It is a joke. It is Federer who started this fashion. He has a superb image of the perfect Swiss
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REALLY BADLY BEHAVED PLAYERS
Tim Henman is the only tennis player in history to be kicked out of the Wimbledon Open Championship When things don’t work in Andy Murray’s favour, he often throws his racquet . During a match in 2008, Mikhail Youzhny after missing a simple shot hit his racquet with his head. Jimmy Connors not just used the F-word quite often on the court, but also foul mouthed the umpires.

gentleman. I repeat, I respect Federer but I don’t like it that young players try to imitate him. When I hear them answer like Roger, I am terrified by phrases like “I had a little bit more success at certain moments and that is how I won.” If I win, the guy on the other side of the net, I have sent him home. That is the reality. I do not want to hear in an interview a guy – who I will not name, but who I know well, that he thinks all his opponents are arseholes – putting on an act.” Novak Djokovic was nicknamed the Djoker for his penchant for pulling pranks on players, either in the locker room or on court. If there was something funny or lame to say or do, Djokovic was your guy. But that was before he became world number one and a multiple Grand Slam champion. His impersonation of Rafa tugging at his shorts at the 2009 Rome Masters prize ceremony has drawn nearly

“ Ithink now it’s more sugarcoated, partly because they play in front of millions of kids.”
1.5 million views on YouTube – interestingly it was at Nadal’s behest – but today Djokovic wouldn’t even dream of doing it, even if Rafa pleaded. Whether Gulbis is correct in his assessment of the top four’s entertainment value isn’t or not, one can’t ignore the fact that tennis just doesn’t throw up the kind of
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70s player John McEnroe paid $12 million in fines for misconduct on the court.

Novak Djokovic has paid $4,500 for racket abuse and ball abuse.

David Ferrer has been fined 5,250 for audible obscenities and $4000 for 8 counts of racket abuse.

Serena Williams is quite popular for throwing racquets, misbehaving with linesman and taking potshots at other players.

characters it did 30 years ago. If a player screams, “You can’t be serious” at the chair umpire today, just like McEnroe did at Wimbledon in 1981, all he’s going to get – apart from being docked a point and fined – is an excruciating examination on social media and the Internet. The days of throwing racquets or even raising your voice on the court are long gone. Serena Williams screamed at a line judge at the US Open and is still apologising for it, but we bet McEnroe has no problems, even today, reducing an umpire to tears. Boris Becker, though no enfant terrible himself – his outbursts on court were directed more at himself and rarely at his opponent or

officials – feels that the responsibility of being an ambassador for tennis weighs heavily on the top guys. “I think now it’s more sugar coated, partly because they play in front of millions of kids,” said the former world number one and youngest ever Wimbledon champion. “They are important ambassadors for their brands, so you have to portray a nice clean image. It comes with the territory. If you ask me whether they all like each other, my answer is no. You cannot possibly like each other minutes after you lose a match. It doesn’t matter if you are Roger, Rafa, Djokovic or Murray. They respect one another and understand the game, but in my days it was different,” he reminisces.

Racket abuse is so common on the court, it always was, that’s it’s not even entertaining anymore.

Becker played at a time when outbursts on court were no biggie. McEnroe’s venting at the line judge or the chair umpire was as much for the crowd as for himself. The paparazzi followed you everywhere, but one didn’t have to do 10 interviews daily. There weren’t still millions of people watching every step you took and if you didn’t like someone, you didn’t hesitate to say it. “We were more straightforward, everything came more from the heart. That was the feeling in the 80s and the 90s, but it’s the demand of the times now, these guys are good role models and they have to be because they have so much riding on them. I would’ve struggled if I was playing

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now, McEnroe would have been suspended all year round, and Nastase wouldn’t have even picked up the racquet. We didn’t have to think too much about our behaviour, but tennis is different now.” Being a bad boy in the 90s earned you notoriety and money. Andre Agassi was anti-establishment. He wore earrings and outlandish, colourful hot pink lycra tights. He even called the French Tennis Federation boss a “bozo” . Result? Canon built an advertising campaign – “Image is everything” around him. Today, bad behaviour is only to be punished, not capitalised on. In a sport where correctness had started spreading like a disease,

interviews. The Scot had admitted to being so careful with his words just so he can stay out of the news for everything except for playing tennis. One can understand his predicament. After all, how many ways can you recount the “why-I-lost” explanation interestingly and entertainingly? Gulbis’ hopes of seeing some boxing-style drama – the jibes, the taunts and the mind games – might be far-fetched, but tennis does have to owe up to the fact that the sport today sounds and looks sterile, colourless, and without personality. In a

“ We were more straightforward, everything came more from the heart. That was the feeling in the 80s and the 90s.”
world where attention spans are short and held only by sensationalism, it’s a lesson tennis needs to learn fast. Tiger Woods’ indiscretions might’ve cost him dearly, professionally and personally – he is expected to have lost $29 million in endorsements when news of his sexcapades became public – but it got people talking about and watching golf again. The sport depends heavily on his charisma to build ratings and attract sponsorships. The idea of a flawed athlete is just as appealing in 2013 as it was in 1973. While neither Federer nor Nadal need to break the law to make tennis more interesting, or at least we hope they would’ve before Nadal got out in his first match.
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Being a bad boy in the 90s earned you notoriety and money. Andre Agassi was anti-establishment. He wore earrings and outlandish, colourful hot pink lycra tights. He even called the French Tennis Federation boss a “bozo”. watching Marat Safin was like a breath of fresh air. He kept the bad-boy flag flying high for some time – he holds the record for most broken racquets in a year with 87 – but it wasn’t long before the talented and temperamental Russian left the game. He’s today a member of Russian Parliament and considering there’s much shouting in all parliaments around the world,
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it certainly would be more interesting than a tennis court. ‘Not giving a damn’ is not a luxury the top tennis players can afford anymore though. Every word they say is scrutinised and agonised over, and over again, on newspapers, television channels, Twitter, Facebook and Tumblr. Maybe that’s why Andy Murray gives deliberately boring

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Sex: the absolute inarguable indisputable scientific facts
What with the internet, all the stuff your mates are telling you and halfremembered nuggets of information from sex-ed classes, it’s hard to know what to believe when it comes to bedroom myths. Luckily, FHM is here to sort fact from fiction, with the help of our (partly) expert panel
fhmindia.com fhmindia • fhmindia

(The m debat ass finally e is over)

phy Photogra g Nadia Kin

THE PANEL

Everyone’s favourite FHM girlfriend, Lois

Official FHM LOL correspondent Daniel Sloss

iconic TV Doctor Christian “ Embarr assing Bodies ” Jessen

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Sex Myths

Sex myth

#1

It is possible to enlarge your penis
You’ve always felt that you’ve been a touch below average since that girl from the year above laughed at you when you got it out down the park. Now, with the influx of emails for big-cock pills pouring into your spam folder and talk of penile enhancement surgeries, maybe it’s the time…
LOIS
“For men with small penises, it’s probably a comfort. I mean, you can make your legs longer, so there must be something you can do? If it’s possible to have a sex change and get a penis made from scratch, then surely someone can make what you’ve already got bigger?” “It would be cruel and unfair to make my penis larger. But it’s surely a fucking risk. It might work, but it might not work. And that’s your penis. Your favourite thing in the world. I doubt the secret is on the internet. Ask a doctor.” “It is possible. There are a number of ways. The least invasive is a technique called jelqing, which is kind of stretching your penis. But you have to do it all day, every day for about six months. You can get penile stretching frames, too. You might not damage yourself, but if you’re really so obsessed that you’re willing to pull on your knob for six months, then there’s probably something else going on. And then there are surgical options — injecting fat, which sort of works, and silicone. That’s a horrible effect. Those penis-pills emails are absolute bollocks, though.”
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DANIEL

DR CHRISTIAN

Sex myth

#2

Sex Myths

So your Sunday-league manager has started telling you when you can and can’t have sex. So far, so creepy. The thing is, he’s convinced you’ll play better if you abstain from shagging. Could the tragic old pervert be on to something?

Having sex before a football match will ruin your performance

LOIS

“I used to date a rugby player, and he’d never have sex before a match. He was told that you need to keep the testosterone levels high or something. He was pretty good, so maybe he was right.” “I think I’d do better having had sex, because I’d just be more relaxed. As a man, because we’re animals, once you get that ‘Yeah, let’s fuck everything’ thing out of your brain, you can focus on other things. I mean, it might free up some of your concentration levels. But if you’re that horny that having sex or not is affecting your job, maybe you need a career change.”

DANIEL

DR CHRISTIAN

Sex myth

“Absolutely no scientific basis for this whatsoever. There’s no evidence that testosterone levels are lowered and aggression is therefore affected. None at all. Which is good news for sportsmen everywhere. Being more relaxed probably helps, in fact.”

Your nationality determines your penis size
LOIS

Sex myth

Like ladies have the G-spot, guys have the P-spot
LOIS

#4

#3

You’ve got back from a spectacularly successful blind date, and everyone involved is now nude. She seems game for anything. Notably when she offers to stick her finger up your bum to give your P-spot the once-over. Should you go with it?

The girl you’re seeing has everything. She’s funny, sexy, smart and well travelled. Maybe a bit too well travelled. She’s dated guys from France, Italy, Korea, Nigeria and somewhere called Micronesia. Naturally, this has you worrying about how you measure up to her previous flames…

“I can’t personally speak from experience. I’ve friends who have slept with people from different ethnicities, rather than different nationalities, and that would lead me to believe there is a difference.”

“As lovely as it sounds, it’s not necessarily an area I want to probe into. From men I’ve spoken to, a lot wouldn’t try that. I don’t see why you wouldn’t, though. If you want women to have anal sex, there should be some give and take. Literally. But if somebody asked me to, I mean obviously not a stranger, but if it was a request, I probably would. I’d entertain the idea.”

DANIEL

DANIEL

“I think it’s more about ethnicity, isn’t it? People from Scotland and England don’t have different penis sizes. I think that’s pretty much down to science. I mean, I’ve seen porn. Black men appear to have massive penises.”

“Yeah, it’s up there. I’ve got gay friends, and they’re like, ‘Trust me, it fucking exists and it’s awesome.’ But my P-spot is going to die alone – it’s too weird for me. There’s no reason men should be uncomfortable with it. Gay men do it and it’s perfectly healthy, and we sometimes make women do it, so the fact that we don’t do it is hypocritical. I’ve no idea why I feel that way, I just know that I do.”

DR cHRISTIAN

DR CHRISTIAN

“It is true, though most of the studies are flawed as they rely on selfmeasurement. But there’s a sense of average size. Places like Ghana, the Congo, Lebanon and Sudan come out above average, and countries like Korea, Taiwan and Thailand come out below. It’s genetic variation, related to the size of the women and criteria like that.”

“Absolutely true. The prostate is connected directly to the base of the penis and is already involved very much in sex. For men who find it hard to orgasm, stimulation of the perineum — the bit between your balls and your bumhole — with a finger really helps, and that’s stimulating the prostate. And it gives a longer, more intense orgasm. The myth is that anal sex is for gay men. The reality is that a lot of straight men have anal sex but don’t admit it.”
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Sex myth

#5

Sex myth

Girls get no stimulation Women have seven from anal sex erogenous zones
It’s your birthday. You know what you’d like for your present, but you’re simply too shy to ask for it. Well, too shy and too frightened of getting a solid knee to the groin. Is “catching the A-train” such a selfless act on the part of your lady love?

#6

You’ve bought some scented candles, re-read the Wikipedia page on tantric love-making, and now you’re ready to try a different, more sensual approach to nookie. Just one thing before you start: is this all a complete load of bollocks?

LOIS

LOIS

“I think it’s more of an excuse from women who don’t want to do it. I think that’s quite selfish. But then it’s personal preference. Maybe if you have, like, a really small arse it might not be much fun. But there’s lots of nerve endings there. I think it’s something the more you do, the more you enjoy it. Otherwise people wouldn’t do it.”

“It all sounds a bit weird to me. If you stroke behind the ears, that’s supposed to be sexy. But I can’t imagine having an orgasm from it. I’ve heard of women who can, though. I saw a documentary about women who orgasm constantly. So I guess they’d be OK with the earlobe thing.”

DANIEL

DANIEL

“Girls should understand that it’s about doing something for your man. It’s an attitude thing. If you come at it with a negative attitude, then sure, a dick up your arse, it’s not going to be wonderful. But gay guys love anal sex, so there must be something up there that feels good. I’ve had some shits that have been fucking amazing.”

“I reckon you can. But it’s just too much fucking effort. The female orgasm is already particularly hard to achieve. A woman’s orgasm is kept in a vault with fingerprint codes and retina scans. A man’s is a case of ‘break glass for orgasm’. To try and do it with just one zone seems foolish.”

DR CHRISTIAN

DR CHRISTIAN

“Not true — a lot of women do [get stimulation]. The clitoris has nerve endings that stretch quite far back — it’s not just a localised spot. You can get stimulation there as well as from the vagina. The sphincter muscles have lots of nerve endings, and that’s what anal sex is all about, the stretching sensation, so it can be pleasurable.”

“I’m pretty sure this came from Friends, where Monica is giving Chandler sex advice. Obviously not true. Don’t go learning ‘the seven’, because you won’t get anywhere that way. It’s totally subjective. There are some areas thought to be more sexual, and they’re all connected in the brain. Whether you can make a girl orgasm using just one — I’m not sure any man is that good.”

Women prefer a fat penis to a long one
LOIS:

Sex myth

#7

You’ve got length. By Jove, you’ve got length. But it’s thin like a chipolata. Your mate Brian, on the other hand, has a penis so short and fat it should be named Danny DeVito. Who, out of the pair of you, got the better deal?

“Length isn’t important. Women can only feel the first five inches anyway, apparently. Again, it’s preference, so maybe you can’t say it’s a complete myth. You don’t want anything too massive, that would be painful, but you don’t really want an Ikea pencil either.”

DANIEL

“Fortunately, I have a massive penis which is both girthsome and long. In the same way that all penises are different, all vaginas are different. I’ve met girls who have been tiny, but with massive vaginas. It’s totally what women say — it’s not the size of the boat, but the motion in the ocean. I can confirm this. I have a massive penis, and I make no effort in bed.”

DR CHRISTIAN

“There was a study done with young women that took out love and physical attraction, looking at just physical mechanics, and the vast majority said that width is more important. Longer penises tend to be painful, because they bang against the cervix. The vagina is not that long; it’s the stretching that gives women greater pleasure.”

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Sex Myths

Sex myth

#9

Sex is better in the morning – but men last longer at night
It’s dawn. You find yourself somewhat aroused, which is generally accepted as a good starting point for coitus. But, dammit, had this been last night, you’d have been better disposed for a lengthy workout in the sack… or would you?

LOIS:

“Nope. The actual sex is probably better, but I don’t feel sexy when I’ve just woken up. Sex at night is better, because there’s the build-up to it – rather than waking up and finding you have a penis in your face.”

DANIEL:

“Oh yes. I adore morning sex. My favourite thing in the world. I find women sexier in the morning. It’s when they’re a proper woman. She’s not this person in a dress and makeup that took hours to do. She’s just been sleeping and snoring and drooling, and I prefer that to the dolled-up thing. And you wake up with an erection.”

DR CHRISTIAN

“Men usually wake up with erections because testosterone peaks during the night, so they want to have sex. However, as you often need to pee in the morning, and having sex with a full bladder can make it more difficult to orgasm, you should really last longer in the morning than at night.”

You tried ginseng. You’ve cracked out the oysters. You bought a ground-up tiger’s penis on the internet and a special cream that gave you a rash. Nothing seems to be bringing your special lady to the point of knee-trembling euphoria, and you’re starting to think maybe it’s a lost cause…

Some girls are unable to orgasm

Sex myth

#8

Women don’t reach their sexual peak until 30
LOIS:

Sex myth

#10

LOIS:

Your new girlfriend is in her 30s. This is the first time you’ve dated someone old enough to remember The Stone Roses the first time around. But it’ll be worth it because your friends assure you that her age means she’ll be great in bed. Gossipy nonsense or science fact?

“I really hope that’s not true. I feel really sorry for them, if that is the case. That would be awful. But I guess it might be true. Maybe the people who think they can’t just aren’t doing it right. Or they’re having sex with the wrong people.”

DANIEL:

“I hope that’s true, but hitting 30 scares me, because I’m 21 and still a long way off. But that would be great, thinking, ‘Right, I’m 30, but I love sex and I’m really good at it now.’ So you’ll be more in tune with what you like and what you don’t like and what you’re good at.”

“Absolutely not. I’ve made plenty of women not come. But that’s not because they couldn’t, it’s because I didn’t have the patience. Or the skill. Every woman is able to orgasm. Ask any women I’ve slept with. I might not be the best in bed, but I’m the funniest.” “It depends on the definition. Ten per cent of women have never had an orgasm, but that doesn’t mean they can’t. There are people with a condition called anorgasmia who don’t seem to be wired in the right way, but some women may not have done so because they’ve not found the right way for them. It could be that of that 10%, maybe 1% or even less are physically unable.”
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DANIEL:

DR CHRISTIAN

“Women who are older do seem to be better in bed. Maybe that’s because they’ve reached their sexual peak, or maybe that’s because they’ve just got more practice in. What’s really sexy about older women is that they’re confident with themselves.”

DR CHRISTIAN

“Psychological studies have shown women are more adventurous the older they get. This may come with experience and confidence. But it depends on how you define sexual peak. Fertility decreases by about 5% a year after the age of 30. So why women become more sexually active is a question of psychology rather than biology.”
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Sex Myths

THE ENDLESS QUEST FOR IMPROVEMENT

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U p yo u r s t y l e q u ot i e n t w i t h our selections

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Got Scuba on your mind? Fret not, because we scope out the best beaches for you

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i t ’ s t i m e yo u ta k e p i c s t h at i m p r e s s

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find out if these gadgets are a b a n g f o r yo u r buck F l a u n t t h o s e k i l l e r s i x pa c k a b s w i t h t h e s e e a s y e xc e r c i s e s !

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get an upper torso like Hrithik
We chat up with Hrithik Roshan’s personal trainer — Kris Gethin — on protein Rich Diet, workout schedules and how to get that perfect upper torso.

TO W O H

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Words: Nishant Nayyar

What kind of food does one need to maintain a V-shaped body? Lean protein sources such as chicken, low fat paneer, egg whites, soy, whey protein, low GI carbs like brown rice, sweet potato and oats with fibrous carbs – good choices being broccoli, spinach, cabbage, asparagus, lettuce and cucumber. Is it safe to consume powdered protein because a lot of people restrain from it? Of course. People who refrain from using it are usually uneducated about its natural benefits. Protein powder is simply filtered from fresh pasteurised milk separating it from the sugar (lactose) fats. So you are only left with pure, wholesome protein. Then, it’s flavoured to suit individual tastes, so it can actually be better for you than milk alone. Any precautions to keep in mind while working out the upper torso? Don’t train too many body parts in one session. Split your workouts so you target one large body part such as the back and a smaller muscle group like biceps per session. Train for 1 day and then rest the following day. What are some common misleading exercise/s to be avoided? Weighted side bends, because

this will only build up the circumference of the waist and also, performing abdominal exercises daily believing this will provide you with a six-pack. Your abs need to rest and recover between workouts similar to every other body part, so 2-3 times per week is sufficient. But I always say that you get your abs in the kitchen, not in the gym because clean eating and removing the fat will eventually reveal that shy six-pack. What are the most common body myths one should avoid? People in India are quick to suggest that they cannot get into shape because they are vegetarian, don’t have access to adequate gym equipment, can’t get foods as recommended from other countries, and that supplement supplies are limited here etc. Many Indians accumulate an array of excuses even before trying. My Indian clients have got just as good results as any of my clients from other countries following the basics. What’s Hrithik Roshan’s exercise schedule for the upper body? I change his workouts on occasion, depending on if he is feeling strong or weak that day or if we have to train around an injury. For the most part, it’s the same as illustrated in the final phase of my book – The Bodybuilding.com Guide To

Words: Nishant Nayyar

UPGRADE fitness

Your Best Body. He also occasionally follows training principles called DTP (Dramatic Transformation Principle) to shock his muscles into new growth while burning up a lot of excess calories to shed fat. Please share the meal consumption schedule that Hrithik follows This is also clearly illustrated in my book. Hrithik has also begun using convenience foods in the form of Nutrition by Design –www. nutritionbydesign.com, which keeps his metabolism firing and prevents him from missing meals while he is on the road, at airports, on set, or needs a quick hot meal. It contains no preservatives, has lean natural protein sources, low GI carbs and very low sodium. What is the ideal time of rest one should give between a set of exercises? It all depends on if the person is training with more volume or with heavier weight. For someone performing around 30-50 reps on my DTP plan, I recommend around 40-60 seconds rest in an attempt to sedate the expression of the myostatin gene (which prevents muscle from growing). But when they begin working around 5-20 reps, I insist on around 2-3 minutes rest to replenish ATP levels (an energy source required for explosive and shorter training intervals). Finally, what according to you is the secret to a perfect V-shaped body – heavy weights or more repetitions? A combination of both as structured in DTP. The combination of both ensures that both type 1, type 2a and type 2b muscle fibers are worked and it targets anaerobic and aerobic capacities, as well as ATP and lactic energy supplies, thus leaving no stone unturned.
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upper torso exercises

FITNEsS DIET

Lie on a flat bench with a dumbbell in each hand resting on top of your thighs.

1a) Bench Press

3a) Dumbbell shrugs

Stand erect with a dumbbell in each hand with your arms at your sides,

Oat is a good carbohydrate that packs in an abundance of carbohydrates and fiber

oats

Use your thighs to help raise the dumbbells, shoulder width apart.

1b)Bench Press

3b) Dumbbell shrugs

Raise the dumbbells as high as possible by elevating your shoulders.

Lie on an incline bench with a dumbbell in each hand on top of your thighs.

2a) Incline Dumbbell Press

4a) Abdominal Crunches

Place your hands on your head and bend your knees with your feet on the floor.

It is considered a complete protein and contains all the essential amino acids.

soya

Using your knees to help bring the dumbbells up, hold them out to the sides.

2b) Incline Dumbbell Press

4b) Abdominal Crunches

Lift your shoulders and upper back up and away from the floor.

It has high levels of antioxidant vitamins as well as high-quality carbohydrates

Sweet Potato

Lie on a floor, placing your hands on your head, and your feet planted on the ground.

5a) Lying Legs Raise

Lift your feet off the floor and tuck your knees towards your chest. Kris Gethin

5b) Lying Legs Raise

This Welsh born is a professional drug free bodybuilder. He has studied Sports Therapy for 3 years. In 2000, he moved to Australia and opened his first fitness center in Sydney. During this time he began his career as a writer and photographer for several international publications.
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It provide fiber and protein to keep you satiated and thus, keeps you fit.
July 2013 93

brown rice

to Learnk coo

THE REAL EASY

steamed PORK belly
hunan style
The greatest and easiest thing you’ll ever do with pork!
THE RECIPE Cooking time 35 minutes Ingredients • Pork loin-180 gms, boneless, cut into thin slices • 1 tablespoon cornstarch plus • 3 tablespoons Kikkoman soy sauce • 1 clove garlic, minced • 1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes, crushed • 1/2 teaspoon sugar • 1 pound fresh broccoli, trimmed • 2 tablespoons vegetable oil • 1 tablespoon fresh ginger root, slivered • 1 onion, chunked and separated • 10 cherry tomatoes, halved

03

Step: 01

Boil the pork belly for at least one hour and keep checking it after every 10 minutes.

01 04 02

Step: 02

Immerse the meat into hot oil.

Step: 03

Deep fry till the time it turns dark brown in colour.

Step: 04

Then put it into boiling hot water for five minutes to take out the burnt skin.

Step: 05
94 July 2013

Deep freeze the pork belly for 10-12 hours.
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UPGRADE food

05

Step: 06 Step: 07

Cut it into thin slices.

Set the the sliced pork belly in a bowl and mix in all the ingredients in the bowl along with it.

Step: 08

Put the bowl in the steamer for 25 minutes.

Step: 09 07 Step: 10
Garnish and serve.

Take out from steamer and add the Kikkoman soya.

who he?

06 08

This dude in the kitchen, Yuvraj Kohli, might look too young to give a lecture on cooking, but he has already made a name for himself with China Doll, a Delhi restaurant that he planned on a piece of napkin.

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July 2013

Words and pics: Kumar Saurav

95

news

07/13

Summer Essentials
96 July 2013

Be it a casual office meet or a social gala, a polo neck can never really go wrong. Try this hot seller from USI. `1199 If you would like to try different forms of collars try the one full sleeves tee from Blackberrys. It will also come
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handy when the slight breeze makes the world a much cooler place. `1995 There is nothing more comfy than Crocs, and that’s where the buck stops. `4995
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UPGRADE style

shirts are a man’s best buddies

Chinese collars are in this season and most of the labels have played with this popular collar type. While this white one will go down really well with the Tuxedos, the other is

perfect for Friday office or casual dating. If you want to keep it right, these two picks from Blackberrys are the safest bet. `2195 and `1495

More
In mood for a tweak?

do

Blackberrys `1395

Blackberrys `1295

UP YOUR

SLEEVES
Blackberrys `1495

Suede it out
When the mercury is killing, it’s not really easy to decide whether you should step out in those leather flip-flops, sandals or boots. Now if you really want to play safe, step out in these colourful suede loafers that continue to remain in fashion for third consecutive season. The latest collection from Liberty has played with colours and comfort. `2500 onwards

NICE TIM
Colours continue to rule the roost and when it comes to watches, men surely are now more open to trying out flashy tones. Its these trends
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HAVE A E

The robust Watches
Words: Kumar Saurav

that these selections from Swatch and Ethos take a cue from. And they are water resistant. Scuba Libre Playero, `4580 ; Cover from Ethos, `22950
July 2013

97

UPGRADE style

DESIGN

time machines

COLLAB

ER

Titan brings to you aggressive design, nakedness, a sense of raw power and energy – packed in an engineering feat with a collaborator as iconic as itself. Presenting the Titan Ducati collection, inspired by Ducati. Renegotiate the terms of engagement and feel the rush of adrenaline as two giants join forces to create a timekeeping experience guaranteed to make the fast lane look like your parking lot. With see through front and back Trellis design, Sapphire Crystal Glass, Automatic Multifunction Movements and Carbon fibre dials, these watches are sure to set the adrenaline racing through your veins.

Hats off
If you can carry them off, hats look really cool in this hot weather. You can pick these from any Uni Style Image store.

GYM TIMES

CAPS é ARE pass

Train better
Reebok has rolled out the new Delta collection that claims to have been designed to help you train better. The new training collection uses stretch fabrics to help you move better and reduce friction.

Now if you really like to play it cool with your eye wear, then Maui Jim’s latest collection – Kanani will garner your

Shades brighter

EYES N WIDE OPE

interest. All these shades provide protection against harmful rays and are saltwater resistant. `8900
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98

July 2013

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29 Best Beaches

The solution to a bummed out summer? The Beach! We scope out top beach destinations and what makes them so sought after…
100 July 2013

1 Party mavericks

Mykonos, Greece

People head to this picturesque island for a relaxing and sun-soaked holiday, but just as many tourists go there for its (in)famous party scene. With more clubs and bars in the vicinity than resorts, Mykonos offers everything from real nightclub experiences to beach bar escapades. Don’t miss out on Paradise Club and Paradise Beach as these properties host the biggest names from the international DJ circuit. With more than 20 beaches on the

island, you could head there for a nice tan after a heavy partying session. Nearest Airport: Mykonos Island National Airport Best Time: August - November Flight Cost: `1,70,000 Room Rental: `5994/night

Koh Phangan, Thailand

If you happen to go there, then be prepared for sleepless nights, as this island is famous for its exhilarating full moon parties. Imagine a kilometer of beach lined with 40,000 people with everyone covered in neon paint,

wearing ridiculous headbands and pumped up to have the best night of their lives — that is Koh Phangan for you. And that’s not all. We’ve heard that the afterparties are the perfect place to bring out your hedonist side. Nearest Airport: Samui Airport Best Time: All year Flight Cost: `21,000 Room Rental: `60/night

Rabac, Croatia

This once a year party is a haven for progressive trance lovers. Music aficionados from across the world gather in the beach town of Rabac to
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U P G R A D E b eac h e s

beach etiquette
Mykonos, Greece Rabac, Croatia

Koh Phangan, Thailand

Tofo, Mozambique

Dimakya Island, Philippines

Gordon Beach, Tel Aviv, Israel get on with the serious business of non-stop partying and enjoying the Rabac Summer Festival and Sunrise Festival. Rabac is also blessed with a string of pebbly beaches, tiny coves, small bays, crystal-clear, clean and translucent sea water and lush Mediterranean vegetation. Nearest Airport: Pula Airport Best Time: June - July Flight Cost: `83,000 Room Rental: `4795/night

Huahine, French Polynesia swaying palm trees and gentle surfs that add to the mystic charm of this unprecedented African destination. By day, you can swim, explore some of the world’s finest dive sites, catch a wave or two on your surfboard, or just laze out on the beach; and at night, party till the sun comes up at any of the many beach bars. Nearest Airport: Maputo International Airport Best Time: November - March Flight Cost: `1,06,000 Room Rental: `2098/night

Uepi Island, Solomon Islands

Dimakya Island, Philippines

Parading around the beach while looking for a place to sit and wearing your flips is rude: all you are doing is annoying those around you and flicking sand everywhere Make sure when shaking the sand from your towel, never shake it too near people and beware of which way the wind is blowing, so that you do not blow sand into your neighbor’s face Remember that your voice carries in the wind, so there is no need to yell at your partner in crime Place your beach paraphernalia a minimum of 15 ft. from anyone already in an established spot. Food just tastes better on the beach, but if you’re going to eat along the shore, be sure to clean up after yourself.

Tofo, Mozambique

Said to be the next Goa, Tofo has 8kms of beautiful, sweeping sand,
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July 2013

Words: Nishant Nayyar

It’s true that Tel Aviv’s beachfront parties are second to none. The relaxed, hedonistic air and gorgeous women flocking around in swimwear is a good enough reason for one to head there. More so, Israel is world famous for its underground music sensations and all of it starts right here at the beaches of Tel Aviv twice a week. Nearest Airport: Ben Gurion Airport Best Time: May - September Flight Cost: `87,000 Room Rental: `2398/night

Gordon Beach, Tel Aviv, Israel

If you want to brag — in a real snorkeling situation — then swim with the dugongs. In all likelihood, you might have an underwater encounter with this rare endangered marine mammal, who regularly feeds on sea grass beds. Besides that, a stroll down the bio rich house reef will be embedded in your memory forever. Nearest Airport: Puerto Princesa Airport Best Time: March - June Flight Cost:`65,504 Room Rental: `8999/night

indian beaches you must visit
Varkala Beach, Kerala: Situated 51 km away from Thiruvananthapuram, it’s famous for its vertical cliffs Agatti Island, Lakshadweep: India’s own Great Barrier Reef, the place will endow you with its turquoise azure lagoons, glittering coral reefs, and shiny sand. Serenity Beach, Puducherry: The beach is ideal for adventure sports like boating, canoeing, kayaking etc. Mandarmani, West Bengal: Located at the northern borderline of the Bay of Bengal, this shoreline is considered to be the longest walkable coastline in India.

2 Snorkeling
Wake up early, grab your gear and enjoy the short 20-minute paddle on the lagoon of this hidden gem in Tahiti’s Society Islands. The reef that surrounds the motu ripples with life, from clownfish to eels to gangs of yellow and white butterflyfish that love to pose for your camera. We suggest you take a piece of bread to see them swirl around you for hours. Nearest Airport: Fare Airport Best Time: May - October Flight Cost:`2,78,250 Room Rental: `14,995/night

Huahine, French Polynesia

Uepi Island, Solomon Islands

An island covered in rainforest, flanked by a fringing reef and sandy beach, surrounded with the warm waters of the lagoon on one side and the oceanic depths enticing you to another world of colourful creatures — dive sites here vary from coral gardens with magnificent drop-offs to ledges and gutters featuring an enormous diversity of reef fish, turtles, mantas and eagle rays. Nearest Airport: Gatokae Aerodrom Best Time: November - March Flight Cost:`1,89,231 Room Rental: `9078/night

101

Lord Howe Island, Australia

Andros Island, Bahamas

Lord Howe Island, Australia

Declared as a world heritage site in 1982, the LSI is at the southernmost coral reef in the world. More than 490 tropical and temperate species mix and mingle in the pristine clear waters of the islands. And because only a limited number of guests are allowed on Australia’s Lord Howe Island at one time, you can witness the spectacle in what feels like total isolation. Nearest Airport: Sydney Airport Best Time: November - March Flight Cost:`61,484 Room Rental: `6890/night

Andros Island, Bahamas

Cloudbreak, Tavarua Island, Fiji

The cobalt blue waters of the Tongue of the Ocean stroke the eastern edge of Andros, separated from the “big island” by only one thing — the third largest barrier reef in the world! With the vast mangrove wetlands of the island serving as a huge nursery for tiny fish and invertebrates, Andros boasts a marine population second to none. Over 100 miles of healthy coral formations stretch between the island and the deep water, much of it found in waters shallow enough to satisfy even the most casual observer. Nearest Airport: San Andros Airport Best Time: April - October Flight Cost:`1,06,185 Room Rental: `5932/night
102 July 2013

3 Surfing

Isla Ensenada, Panama

Best Time: April - October Flight Cost: `1,21,287 Room Rental: `5332/night Biggest Waves: 12 feet

The vilange located on a small island off the coast of Panama in the Pacific Ocean boasts of uncrowded, warm, water waves — which is the perfect combination for every surfer. Head to Surfer Paradise Surf camp, which nestles the accommodation — private cabanas located on the side of a hill overlooking the Pacific Ocean. The island is enclosed by left breaks and right breaks making it a exhilarating experience for each surfer. Nearest Airport: Tocumen International Airport

After the popular surfing film — The Endless Summer 2 — showcased Tamarindo’s goods, tourists were tripping over themselves trying to get to this Central American hotspot. Now developed into a full-fledged resort, Tamarindo has still not lost its edge as an exclusive surfing spot. Spots like Little Hawaii and Witch’s Rock are among the most legendary, thanks to aggressive swells and almost perfect weather. Longboarders and

Tamarindo, Costa Rica

shortboarders alike are welcome here, as the river mouth opens to a world of waves accommodating both styles. Nearest Airport: Juan Santamaría International Airport Best Time: April - July Flight Cost: `1,08,109 Room Rental: `4433/night Biggest Waves: 09 feet

Waikiki, Hawaii

No list about surfing would be complete without a top entry from Hawaii. True surfers will appreciate Hawaii’s, and especially Waikiki’s, deep history of the sport, popularised in the early 1900s on beaches that are still bustling today. There is a reason, other than lore, why Waikiki has become a
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U P G R A D E b eac h e s

4 Scuba

Roatan, Bay Islands, Honduras

With the fringing reefs off Roatan only a 300-yard swim from the shore, many of the island’s resorts offer 24/7 diving on reefs just a few fin kicks from their docks. It’s a leisurely swim to the Prince Albert, a 140-foot-long island freighter located in CoCo View Resort’s “Front Yard” on Roatan’s south-central coast. Just east of the Bay Islands Beach Resort is Spooky Channel, a huge and otherworldly tunnel in the reef that begins off Sunnyside pier and bottoms out at about 95 feet. Anthony’s Key Resort’s house reef is packed with blue tangs, parrotfish, angelfish and damselfish. Nearest Airport: Roatan International Airport

majors. Divers find easy entries and exits at Janthiel Baai. The drop-off is similar to other sites off the island with lots of star coral, gorgonians, sponges and wire coral. Nearest Airport: Curaçao International Airport Best Time: March and April Flight Cost:`1,16,185 Room Rental: `5692/night

Bonaire

Also known as the underwater art museum, Bonaire island draws divers from around the world to its reef-lined coast. With an unbroken string of worldwide acclaimed awards, Bonaire is definitely the Las Vegas for scuba enthusiasts — all you have to do is rent a truck, load it with tanks and pull off at any of the yellow-painted stones that mark dozens of sites, most of them along

— from the hardcore surfer, down to the waves you’d push your toddler onto. Cloudbreak, however, is strictly for experts. You’ll have a ride to remember on this brutal, hollow wave formed about 1,600 meters off the coast, which holds for up to 500 meters and reaches 10 meters in size. Nearest Airport: Nadi Intl Airport Best Time: May - September Flight Cost: `91,631 Room Rental: `8688/night Biggest Waves: Over 20 feet

Killer Point, Taghazout, Morocco
surfing mecca. The clear waters, constant sunshine and enormous breaks are almost too awesome to believe. Beginners can learn to surf at Canoes, while pros can experience the waves that come crashing at the Queens section. Nearest Airport: Honolulu International Airport Best Time: May - September Flight Cost: `86,315 Room Rental: `5994/night Biggest Waves: Over 20 feet

Galapagos Islands, Ecuador Best Time: Jan - April Flight Cost:`1,24,115 Room Rental: `3716/night Bonaire’s leeward west coast. On every site on the island, which enjoys strictly enforced marine park protection, you’ll find abundant grunts, yellowtail snappers, angelfish, parrotfishes, rock beauties, squirrelfish and butterflyfish, and dense stands of corals and gorgonians. Nearest Airport: Flamingo International Airport Best Time: March and April Flight Cost:`1,15,868 Room Rental: `4735/night

Cloudbreak, Tavarua Island, Fiji
The heart-shaped islands in the South Pacific offer something for everyone
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Discovered by hippies in the 1960s, this southern Moroccan village makes for an utterly unique surf trip. Soak up the fusion of Middle Eastern and African culture and traverse perfectly peeling waves, breaking over a cliff shelf, which was named after all the killer whales spotted in the area. The combination of swell generated by the North Atlantic depressions, light offshore trade winds and a variety of point, reef and beach breaks make the region an exceptional surfing destination. Nearest Airport: Agadir Airport Best Time: September - April Flight Cost: `75,898 Room Rental: `3595/night Biggest Waves: 15 feet

Curaçao

With outstanding reefs close to shore and a conservation-minded marine park authority, it’s no surprise to find Curaçao on this list. Nestled in the enchanting beauty of the Caribbean, the island offers shore divers numerous beach-accessible sites from its southwestern coast. A shallow shelf leads to Oswaldo’s Drop-off, only a few minutes swim from the shore. Piles of varied corals make it an interesting dive and the site is jammed with blue Chromis, yellowtail snappers and sergeant

Galapagos Islands, Ecuador
July 2013

Also known as the worldwide Mecca of scuba divers, the place enthralls you
103

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U P G R A D E b eac h e s with its dazzling marine wildlife. Galapagos features numerous sites for scuba, some easy and others challenging. Many islands offer off-the-shore snorkeling — this is the easiest, as you can come and go if you get tired and the currents aren’t a factor. Despite spotting the usual parrot fish, colored wrasses and schools of surgeonfish, you have to be lucky enough to have an encounter with the likes of a hammerhead shark, a penguin, an octopus, a diving booby or even sea lions. Nearest Airport: Flamingo International Airport Best Time: April Flight Cost: `1,60,102 Room Rental: `5154/night Nearest Airport: Cairo International Airport Best Time: June - August Flight Cost:`37,723 Room Rental: `1918/night bikini originated at the Praia do Pinho Beach. Do keep in mind though that if you are not with a female, you might not be able to take a sneak peak at this pristine beach. Nearest Airport: Madeira Airport Best Time: November - April Flight Cost:`94,587 Room Rental: `5337/night

Top 5 beaches
#APPS...
Mosquito

5 nudist beach

Playa de MaspalomasGrand Canary, Spain

Maspalomas, Gran Canary Islands

Anti
On: Apple and Android Price: Free The perfect lazy man app. It produces a sound in the range of 16KHz to 20 KHz that repels mosquitos. It actually works.

Known for the crystal clear silver beaches the Canary Islands, this one’s an ideal place for a beach holiday. If you want to get an even sun-tan, visit the Playa de Maspalomas beach, one of the better known nudist beaches

Probably one of the best known nudist beaches in Europe, Maspalomas is the ultimate carefree beach. With miles and miles of sand dunes, there’s plenty of places to enjoy your privacy or just head to the main nudist stretch, which is clearly signposted. There is even a dedicated nudist resort in Maspalomas with 28 bungalows around a pool and a jacuzzi with an on-site restaurant. Nearest Airport: Gran Canaria Airport Best Time: November - April Flight Cost:`76,041 Room Rental: `7495/night

UV Index

Montalivet, France

The Red Sea, Egypt

The Red Sea, Egypt

It’s not only THE destination to crop up in the list of wow diving conversations, but also among the first 5. It is considered to be one of the 7 wonders of the underwater world, harbouring more than 1,000 species of invertebrates and over 200 species of soft and hard coral. Red Sea scuba diving offers you unobstructed opportunities to spot tropical marine life in crystal clear waters, ranging from sharks and dolphins to Gorgonian fans. Our to-dive list consists of these places that shouldn’t be missed — Sharm El Sheikh, Ras Mohammed, Thistlegorm and Abu Nuhas.
104 July 2013

of the island. The beach takes care of your privacy as it has unofficial demarcations for nudist sun bathers and gays. Nearest Airport: Gran Canaria Airport Best Time: All year long Flight Cost:`76,041 Room Rental: `3716/night

Surely you knew that in this roundup, the number one spot would have to go to ze French, and the spot we highly recommend is Le Centre Hélio Montalivet — a place that many purists would claim to be the birthplace of the international naturist movement. The resort dates back to 1950, when the area on France’s Atlantic Coast began to accommodate nudists with a safe, and for once, legal area. Go camping and live in the wild, the way we were meant to be. Not recommended for family vacations. Nearest Airport: Gran Canaria Airport Best Time: November - April Flight Cost:`76,041 Room Rental: `7435/night

On: Apple and Android Price: Free The last thing you want is to get sunburnt at the wrong place, so keep this app handy and enjoy the sunbathe.

Tides
Near Me
On: Apple and Android Price: `110 and `117 Imagine a situation where you sleep under the sun, and get swooped by high tides. This app updates you with vital tidal updates of your location.

Wi-Fi

Es Trenc, Majorca

Praia do Pinho, Cambori, Brazil

Located in the southern state of Santa Catarina, this beach opened in 1987 as the first sanctioned all-natural beach. Its regulars are keener on nudity than people on other beaches and the dental-floss (barely-there)

Probably one of the oldest nudist beaches in Europe, Es Trenc is located on the south east coast of Majorca close to the resort of Colonia Sant Jordi. The whole beach is clothing optional, although certain areas seem more nudist than others. Regular visitors suggest walking to the west when you approach the beach from the main village to find a more private spot. Nearest Airport: Palma de Mallorca Airport Best Time: March - September Flight Cost:`58,498 Room Rental: `7793/night

On: Apple and Android Price: Free The uber cool man will have the babes, cars and gadgets. But even Warren Buffet will dig a free wi-fi. Use this app to locate the nearest wi-fi zones.

Finder

Food

Evernote
On: Apple and Android Price: Free Get instant recipes, become an impromtu chef and flaunt your sexy cooking skills with this app. And this is much faster and legit than Google!

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U P G R A D E gadge t s

review

The newest model from BlackBerry’s stable is out, but the question is – will it be able to woo customers? Well, we find out whether this Qwerty edition is a hit or a miss.

BlackBerry Q10
s Indians, price points are the most crucial factor that influence our buying decisions. And sadly, we often don’t look beyond it. So how does a brand influence customers to buy their stellar products? Simple — just make sure you have proper positioning. And that’s exactly what BlackBerry managed to do with its new product, Q10. The stellar product has been targetted for enterprise users who are looking for an unaltered touch and type experience.

A

Words: Nishant Nayyar

Price ` 44,990 Processor: Dual-core 1.5 GHz Memory: 2 GB RAM Screen: 3.1 inches super AMOLED touchscreen Size: 119.6 x 66.8 x 10.4 mm Weight: 139 gms

vitals

The Build It’s a classic looking BlackBerry, but it surely is the best from the lot. The well designed hardware — broader keys, dimensions that fit appropriately in your hands and a slim size — make this phone a great package. So if you still yearn for the long lost keyboard on a smartphone, then this is the phone for you. The all-round aluminum edges give the body rigidity, and a glass-weave coating on the back adds a grippy texture that’s smooth and makes you fall in love with the phone every time you hold it in your hands. To make room for the keyboard, the screen had to be squeezed to 3.1-inch, which would appear a bit tiny if you have been using a large touchscreen phone for some while now. Though the movie viewing experience does get affected due to the screen size, it thankfully doesn’t sacrifice on clarity. In fact, at 320-pixels per inch, it’s even sharper than the iPhone’s Retina display. The centerpiece, of course, is the QWERTY keyboard though. First, the buttons are 30 percent larger, making them easier to type on and yet they’re well-spaced for speed and accuracy. But the highlight is the prediction engine. As you type, it suggests what word may come next and shows them along the bottom of the display – something that we’ve seen earlier, but it does make typing much more convenient. The Camera The 8MP back camera,

surprisingly, isn’t that bad. We managed some really nice clicks, while indoor photos were accurate and wellexposed, the ones we clicked outside were a little dull. If you need greater exposure, there’s HDR mode. There are a gamut of filters that will let you play and re-edit your original clicks, coupled with other goodies like ‘Time Shift’, which captures multiple shots and lets you choose the best expression for each face (A feature recently popularised by the Nokia Lumia series). You can also record 1080p high-definition video or chat with the 2-megapixel lens on the front via the video chat feature of BBM. The Software Today, smartphones have become a part of our DNA, and balancing your work along with leisure on these complex phones can sometimes be a tad bit bugging. To separate your official profile from your leisure time, BlackBerry has introduced ‘Balance’. With Balance, you can operate and switch between two different profiles and optimise your productivity with both. This also means that you won’t accidentally pocket-dial an important client or receive a crude photo from your friend during an important meeting. It’s like carrying two devices in one. The touch works seamlessly on the OS10, though the newbies will struggle to learn the tricks of using the new interface, but once you are used to the OS, it leaves you in the awe. The label is still catching up on the most sought after apps, so that’s a relief. Final verdict Many people have criticised the phone for its price. After all, 45 thousand can make a deep hole in your pocket, but let’s just keep it simple — the phone is specifically meant for corporate honchos who want to be as glued to their mails as they would be to Stick Cricket. And we are sure that very soon, most CEOs of world will reinstate the ‘Corporates love BlackBerry’ era again.
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Expert knowledge

LIKE A PRO
Whether you’re using your phone or a flashy beast of a camera, learn how to take photos that people will actually want to see
Our expert Danny North has been a professional photographer for six years, shooting everyone from Muse to Rudimental and Foo Fighters to Oasis, with loads in-between. He’s also a total feckin’ dude. app. Want to take a picture of a parrot in a tree? Who’s going to look at that when you get home? But if you got up in the tree, got in close and it was pecking at the camera, then you’ve got an award-winning wildlife photograph right there. 05 It’s easier to ask for forgiveness than it is permission. If you’re at a festival and you see an opportunity to sneak backstage and get a photograph with some band, do it. Nothing that bad will happen – a slap on the wrist, that’s it. If you ask them in the first place, you’re never going to get in. 06 The Rule of Thirds sounds complicated, but it’s very basic and very important. Divide your screen into three sections – horizontally or vertically – and use those thirds to frame the picture. Try placing your subject on one side, then you have two thirds left on the other side. It makes things feel a bit more cinematic, and if you’re up some mountains or on the beach, you get to see the background. It’s the difference between something looking considered and just a snap. 07 Megapixels mean nothing. What you need to be looking at if you’re buying a camera is how good it is in low light because, ultimately, if it performs well, it means it must have a really good sensor. Unfortunately, people normally fall into the more-megapixels-equals-better-camera mentality, which is completely and utterly untrue. At eight megapixels, you can comfortably print up to A3 in size. 08 I can’t see the point in owning a really nice camera and putting it on auto. I understand that it’s hard for people to go from fully auto to manual, because it’s a lot to think about, but if you just want to use auto mode, use a pointand-shoot snapper – you can get a really decent one for a couple of hundred quid. If you’ve got a DSLR, grow a pair of balls and learn how to use it.
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TAKE PICS

APPS TO PIMP YOUR PICS

01 My number-one rule for camera phones is turn your flash off – it isn’t that powerful, it’s not a great colour, and it doesn’t really work beyond two feet, even when it’s night-time. I’m a very firm believer in going with the flow of nature: if it’s dark and moody and twilighty, then use that. If it’s too dark, bring your flash out, but if you’ve got light, use it. Natural light will always look superior to flash. Always. 02 Thinking about light can change a photograph from being terrible to being amazing. If you’re taking a picture of your mate and the sun’s behind his head, your camera phone will almost certainly expose for the background, leaving your friend in shadow. Most people don’t think about how easy it is just to move your feet, or the person’s feet that you’re taking a picture of. 03 Look for a new perspective, different to what everybody else is doing. So, if you want to take a picture of something like the Eiffel Tower, get in close and pick out details. Or go directly underneath the tower, lie on the ground and look up. Get your knees dirty, get down low, climb stuff. Just get stuck in. 04 Zooming on a camera phone is always a bad idea, because it’s a digital zoom – it doesn’t actually zoom, it just crops. You’re better off taking a photograph and cropping it using an
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Snapseed Phone photos can come out dark – bump up brightness and contrast with this simple editing tool. Free on iOS and Android

Photosynth This Microsoft app automatically stitches together flawless 360-degree panoramic pictures. Free on iOS and Windows Phone

Fotodanz Take partially animated GIFs that look like normal pictures, but also contain moving parts. Pure magic. Free on Android fhmindia.com

UPGRADE point and shoot

Quality Compact This pocket-sized beauty compensates for any post-tequila shakiness on your summer nights out with vibrationreduction technology, to capture all those precious memories that the booze may wipe away. Nikon Coolpix S5200, ` 8234 it’s now the turn of slimmer cameras It’s not just a slim and good looking, its spec sheet is quite sound too. You can instantly transfer pics through wifi, add filters to the images and its Eco Mode that works like a battery saver lets you click 30% more pictures. Canon Ixus 140, ` 12,495

really compact The best part about this camera is that it’s really compact and even if you carry it like you carry your mobile in the pocket, it wouldn’t pinch. Amazing product, even more amazingly priced. Olympus STYLUS VG-190, `8490

Form and Function Halfway between a compact and a DSLR, this is the ultimate pointand-shoot camera. With enough manual functions to satisfy even the snootiest of professionals, it’s Japanese engineering and design at its finest. Not cheap, but worth every penny. Fujifilm FinePix X100 Mirrorless, ` 69999
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FHM LOVES

Semi-Pro Snapper It is the world’s lightest DSLR to feature a full-frame CMOS sensor. This is pure quality and spot on for any amateurs looking to get serious. Canon EOS 6D, `166,995

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reviews

Lava Xolo X1000

simple gadgets

6 brilliantly

There are Android phones and then there are beautifully made Android phones – this one falls in the latter category. If looks could take it all, then this phone would actually win an Oscar. The superb curved glass 4.7-inch display smiles with a 1280 x 720p resolution and the surface of the display manages to keep smudges and fingerprints at bay, so much so that the screen always looks quite pristine. With no physical buttons present, the slightly rubberised back panel gives this phone a niche overall appearance. Packed with a single core 2GHz Intel Atom processor and 1 GB RAM means it’s not the most advanced option available, yet it doesn’t underdeliver while multitasking or playing games. The phone sports one of the smoothest touch interfaces we have used in a long time. With a built-in native music player and availability of Google Play Store, listening to music becomes exciting with the EQ options — Presets, Bass Boost, 3D effect and a 5 band user customisable option. Full HD videos in MP4 played reasonably well, but there was nevertheless a slight lag via the native player. By default, the X1000 comes with a scant few codecs to play some files in AVI and MP4. Price: ` 19,999

Super touch y sensitivit

Panasonic-P51
It’s a tedious task to distinguish between the hardware of two Android phones. And this phone doesn’t prove us wrong on that count — it looks quite similar to other popular Androids loafing around in the market, but what stands out is the matte finish unibody and the edge-to-edge glass on the front. This 5-incher also surprises us with its incredible lightweight of 135 grams. The 5” IPS (in-plane switching) display sports an oleophobic layer, which helps it remain smudge free. For scratch resistance, Panasonic has used Asahi Dragontrail glass, which is claimed to be better than the popular Gorilla Glass and yes, it did remain scratchless during the time it was in our hands. The 8MP rear facing camera takes decent pictures in brightly lit conditions, like most other mid range 8 MP cameras we have seen. Sharpness settings come preset to high though, which might make the picture appear artificial. Powered by a 1.2 Ghz quad core MediaTek chip, it leaves the general performance of the device smooth and fast, but faults out of high graphic games. The P51 is a dual SIM device with support for GSM-GSM networks and also offers two micro SD slots, making it one of the firsts in the market. Price: ` 25,999 only
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Use of mobile phones while driving not just attracts challans, but is also unsafe. Still, there are calls that you need to take no matter where you are and what you are doing. For such times, this in-car speaker makes sense. You can clip it to the sun shield above your steering and comfortably take calls by connecting your phone with this Bluetooth enabled device. Its powerful 3-watt speaker works just fine, but it takes some time before you get used to the output. Though you can also use it to stream music, you really have to make an effort to listen to the songs because the output for music is too low. Also, you need to speak a lot louder to make yourself audible to the person on the other end of the line. It promises up to 20 hours of talk time and up to 45 days of standby time, and lived up to its commitments during our tests. The pricing is on a higher side though, but if we just talk about the product, it suits your needs and makes the use of mobile phones a lot easier. Thumbs down for the price, thumbs up for the product. Price: ` 6490

jabra tour

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Words: FHM Team

U P G R A D E gadge t s

Dell inspiron 15z

Touch and type or type and touch — this ultrabook can work according to your fingertips. The Inspiron 15Z sports the standard matt silver and grey finish. The notebook is fairly slim for a 15-incher with a depth of just 21 mm. It weighs around 2.17 kgs, pertaining to its chassis which is mostly made of plastic, making it an easy bundle to carry around. Under its hood is a powerful i7, dual core processor running at 2Ghz speed, 8GB of gigantic RAM and 500 GB hard drive — making it quite a stellar performer on paper. Running on Windows 8 has its own set of perks and flaws though. Superb social integration and great UI stand out as the perks, and the touch interface on this ultrabook stands out as the biggest flaw. The former, although responsive and crisp, doesn’t excite us, especially in this form of a personal computer. But the backlit enabled keyboard and the trackpad work decently. The ultrabook is also equipped with SkullCandy speakers that give decent definition to its audio capabilities. Also, sporting the Nvdia’s Optimus technology enables the user to enjoy greater graphics. Price: ` 74,990

Logitech UE Mini BoomBox nokia 520

Available in bright tangy colours, the 520 is for people who are full of life. We have to admit that it’s a great looking phone, which fits well in our hands as well as our budget. Though the build of the phone is quite plastic, yet it manages to look uber cool thanks to its seamless design. It boasts of the same screen resolution and dual core processor as its higher end cousin, the 720, which is why it manages to steal the show. Coming to the Windows 8 software — it is definitely a different looking beast that is easy to navigate through and does live up to its full functionality. The camera, owing to its 5 MP capabilities, isn’t a stellar feature though. With the ‘People’ and ‘Me’ hubs, you can connect your social network accounts and you’ll be able to see updates from all your friends in one place. We also managed to try a couple of games and found the 520 to be perfectly swift, providing smooth navigation with none of the annoying lag and jittery screen transitions. After a lot of tweeting, playing, texting and surfing we were able to squeeze the battery through a day. Price: ` 10000
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This product lets you go further without wires, okay we did copy their tagline, but it’s the truth. The BoomBox does let you break free from the hassle of long wires and enables you to enjoy unaltered amplified sound. Though its compact looks may deceive you and make you reconsider wanting to invest in a product that small, but this one really is one of the best. With one touch Bluetooth connectivity – this product is in our top picks for a vacation. A smooth, rubberised unibody makes sure the product isn’t fragile and is easy to handle. What comes in as another surprise is that it can switch between users with just a ‘stop’ and ‘play’ button. It connects upto three Bluetooth devices at one time and enables uninterrupted audio play till about 20 meters. Coming to the sound — the 0.7 pound speaker delivers crisp, clear and warm sound at all times. We dug up some old school, psychedelic tunes and it was nothing less than sheer pleasure to hear them boom. However, we do feel that the bass could have been stronger. This one’s available in 5 peppy colours — flat white, flat black, white with blue grilles, black with green grilles, or black with red grilles. Price: ` 8,990
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summer drinks

Essential Guide to Beer Cocktails
We are fond of beer as much as the big bang theory’s Kaley Cuoco. So we present to you 12 essential cocktails you must try before the start of the next season!

Spiced Pineapple Lemonade
• 80ml Pineapple Juice • 3 no Cardamom • 20ml Lime Juice • 20ml Triple Sec • 60ml Whiskey • 5 Ice Cubes • 330ml Beer

Swiss Shandy
• 80ml Cranberry Juice • 60ml Lemonade • 330ml Beer • 20ml Triple Sec • 4 Ice Cubes

Garnish with cherry Glass — Use Bamboo Pilsner

Garnish with pineapple slice Glass — Use Bamboo Pilsner

Peppermint Dozer
• 330ml Beer • 30ml Peppermint Liquor • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml Lemonade • 4 Ice Cubes

Herbatious Adam
• 330ml Beer • 4 Springs Basil • 4 Slices Green Apple • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml White Rum • 4 of Ice Cubes

Garnish with mint sprig Glass — Bamboo Collins

Garnish with slice of green apple Glass — Beer Mug

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U P G R A D E c o c k ta i l s

Indian Beer Ale
• 330ml Beer • 5gm Roasted Cumin Powder • 2 Pinch Black Salt • 20ml Lime Juice • 20ml Triple Sec • 60ml Gin • 5 Ice Cubes

Clopych
• 330ml Beer • 20ml Peach Syrup • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml Tequila • 6 Pc Clove • 4 Ice Cubes

Ginger Balley
• 330ml Beer • 6 Springs Basil • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml Ginger Ale Squash • 60ml Gin

Top up with cumin powder Glass — Bamboo Pilsner

Garnish with clove Glass — Bamboo Pilsner

Garnish with basil sprigs Glass — Tall Beer Mug

Tingling Melon’s
• 330ml Beer • 6 Water Melon Chunks • 3 to 6 Kaffir Lime Leaf • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml White Rum • 4 Ice Cubes

Banana n Nuts
• 330ml Beer • 20ml Banana Syrup • 20ml Lime Juice • 20ml Coconut Syrup • 60ml White Rum • 5 Ice Cubes

Orange Ale Mimmosa
• 330ml Beer • 80ml Orange Juice • 8-10 Orange Chunks • 20ml Triple Sec • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml Vodka • 4 Ice Cube

Garnish with watermelon slice Glass — Bamboo Pilsner

Garnish with banana slice Glass — Bamboo Pilsner

Garnish with orange slice Glass — Bamboo Collins

El Beera Kurrante
• 330ml Beer • 60ml Black Currant Pulp • 20ml Lime Juice • 60ml Tequila • 2Pinch Salt • 5 Ice Cubes

Beeara Passionista
• 330ml Beer • 20ml Passion Fruit Syrup • 20ml Lime Juice • 2Pinch Cinnamon Powder • 60ml Dark Rum • 5 Ice Cubes

Cool Beer Cocktail Fact!
Beer cocktails are being produced and explored by bars all over the country and the penchant breweries are showing towards distilling spirits other than beer has given rise to beer mixology.

Garnish with mint sprigs Glass — Bamboo Collins

Garnish with clove Glass — Beer Mug

Cocktails by Viju Raj, mixologist at Warehouse Cafe, New Delhi Viju is one of the very few self-taught beverage mixologists in the country
July 2013

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Words: Nishant Nayyar

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Ashish N Soni,

Designer
01

His love for minimalism is the secret behind his creative virtues. For this designer, less is more and that is what defines his fashion sense.
Watch Rolex
04

Pro or... Select

They say that when a guy takes off his coat, he is not going to fight, but when he takes off his wristwatch, you better watch out. If you are one of the frequent flier sorts, then get yourself a sleek, elegant wristwatch, and if you are the one who loves the hustle bustle of city life, then get yourself a rugged and sturdy watch I love my Daytona from Rolex, which is trendy and classy at the same time. My Rolex makes a bold statement about my taste and way of life. ` 2,40,000
02

sunglasses RAF SIMONS

07

Though aviators have made a striking comeback, these rectangular shaped acetate sunglasses from Raf Simons are my current favourites. Though made solely of plastic, these frames look intelligent and sophisticated, and also take on a contemporary look that is truly unique. The thick black plastic frames add a sort of masculinity not seen in traditional aviators. ` 18,500
05

Flip Flops Abercrombie and Fitch

Another must-have for the season. A nice pair of flip-flops completes the summer essentials. A colourful flip-flop can complete your basic beachside attire along with being ultra comfortable and fashionable at the same time. Make sure you have them in bright colours. ` 1,999
08

Fedora American Eagle

Belt Hermès

They say a belt can make or break your fashion statement, thus, you should always wear a belt that compliments your attire. I love Hermès belts, as they are not loud, are subtle and add a charm to any attire. Like the simple division between casual and formal, picking out a belt colour is also easy, as you should be concerned with: black, brown and tan. ` 18,999
03

CV
Personal Style
Always use light clothes, be it casuals or formals. It doesn’t matter whether you are slim or fat, but make sure you wear airy fits. Also, wear a lot of linen, as they absorb moisture and still remain dry while always looking fashionable.

THE

Shirt Charles Tyrwhitt

Since summers are taking a toll on everyone, my suggestion would be to go for a lot of whites. Those who get bored with a lot of whites should go for printed shirts that can sport multiple prints in similar colours. This brand makes one of the best shirts I have ever possessed. They don't need ironing but are still crease free and the subtle fabric doesn’t leave rashes on the skin. ` 27,999
06

While once a mainstream accessory, a man in a fedora is now seen as a trendsetter. Obviously you cannot pair a fedora with jeans and a polo t-shirt. But the pay off — loads of style, class, and confidence — makes going that extra mile to pair your clothes with it worthwhile. These fedoras are a great addition. ` 1,200

Trousers ASHISH N SONI

09

Shoes Berluti

Style Prediction

Berluti clearly stands out for any formal occasion. The durability and comfort of these shoes are next to none and coupled with the classic natural and subtle colours, it makes them my favourite brand. Even after years of wearing the shoes hold up very well and the look of the leather never fades out, which is indeed the best part of owning one of these pairs. ` 36,000
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It’s the time of the year to bring out the lighter shades of life – a lot of whites in particular. Colour blocking is the trend for the season and a man should pick poppy, contrasting solids to emulate this season's boldest trend.

T-shirt Ralph Lauren

The Polo needs no introduction, as they are one of the must-haves for every guy, regardless of the season. You will always find a crew neck in my wardrobe for the simple reason that these are plain comfortable. They are made of one of the best fabrics, come in easy colours that go well with the horrid summers, and with simple branding leave a bold fashion statement. ` 1,599

Cool colours on turned-up crop pants are the essence of this season. Turn-up crop pants define one’s extravagant fashion sense on every occasion. Black and light colours like beige/cream/off-white are always a hit in the fiery summer heat. ` 4,999
10

Bag Prada

Featuring an adjustable shoulder strap, two carry handles and a inner zip and slip pockets; this spacious bag brings a contemporary edge to traditional linen shirts and trousers. ` 89,999
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Words: Nishant Nayyar

UPGRADE style

1 8

9

4

5 6

10

2

7 3

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10 things... you do only in Bangkok

8

7

Buy shirts with labels 3 times bigger than your size You are a respectable, even if not skinny size 40 or medium. But those dastardly Thai shopkeepers smug in their skinniness suggest you pour yourself into, if not an XL, then at least a Large. Ask for an XXL and they stare at you like all three of your nipples are on display. The politer ones point to a board and laugh — M 249 baht, L 300 baht. No XL, forget XXL. Assholes! In protest, you just buy 5 shirts. That will teach them.

4 3

fakes and expects the goods to be confiscated at the airport (almost never happens, but made you crap your pants, didn’t we?). Get a foot massage Foot massages are as important in a man’s life as a tweezer, a manicure, a Campari or Superwoman. You don’t need either one of them. But they’ve got those fabulous leather chairs and air conditioning — seems like a fun place to take a nap — so what if you are manic about taking your shoes off in public? Pretend you support democracies Crowds swaying to what you presume are Thai folk songs while wearing anonymous masks protesting against the Monarchy… Monarchy? Can you believe it? So what, if your early morning dreams have you sporting a Brazilian on your upper lip and wearing a swastika on your arm? The Thai’s must be freed. They really must.

Haggle about a blowjob

10

All your life, questions involving fellatio have been at the top of your priority list. It’s the Ferrari of cars, the Canali of suits…and well you get the drift. It being performed on you usually has to be followed, if not by a bottle of Champagne, by a general atmosphere of being eternally grateful, just short of pledging unfaltering loyalty. You throw away money on new phones and tip bellboys liberally, but all that goes out the window when the lady at the massage parlour asks for 2000 baht for a BJ. “1500 or you’d just do it yourself”. DIY on a BJ — that’ll be easy and not gross, right?
surveying his next drink. Too bad someone forgot to tell you Adam’s Apples can be surgically removed. So no matter what you check, you might be getting jiggy with a little bit more than what you bargained for. Try to scrounge on the money and the only difference between sexation turning into ass rape would be you trying to save your cash.

6

Realise just how boring your car is Flash car-boot sale in a mall parking lot sees ‘vintage’ clothes, shoes and homegrown designers selling things out of the boots of pimped out Mini Coopers, Dodge Vipers, Mercs and Vintage Chevy pick-up trucks. But who needs exciting cars to drive to work? You just bought yourself a Honda Amaze in white after a threemonth wait. Aur pata hai kitna deti hai? Walk more than you have walked in 3 months You are a walker. You like walking. Remember that time six years ago when you walked 16 kms from Manali to Solang without stopping to catch your breath? Oh yeah, you can walk. Plus, that’s the best way to see a new city and shop. In reality, by the time you are done walking through the malls, or Chatuchak Market, your feet feel like stones, you are seeing dark spots and the cramps in your legs seem like you are getting your first period, if you didn’t know any better of course.

2 1

Come back and pretend you got bored Nah, there wasn’t much to do... Just some shopping and good food. Bullshit. No one is buying what you are peddling, but you make desperate attempts at convincing people you got bored in Bangkok. In truth, you spent every day hanging in a different club in a different red light district and watching girls do more with their veejay than you can with your thumbs. Lie on Customs Declaration form Value of imported items: ` 5,000. Hmm, yes because the idiot at the customs counter will see your three oversized brand new suitcases and the 46-inch plasma LED and just wave you through like you are related to his wife. In reality, you can import things upto ` 35,000 from Bangkok — so stop lying on your customs form — since just the crotchless underwear you bought for your girlfriend probably cost that much. See you next month…
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Words: Kabeer Sharma

9

5

Stare at every woman’s neck “The trouble with the girls in Bangkok is if they have an apple, they probably also have a banana,” Anonymous on Twitter. These kind of warnings seep so deeply into your consciousness that every time you spot a girl, you find yourself staring at her neck a bit like Dracula

Buy at least one fake No matter how hard you try, no matter how much money you spend at the designer boutiques in the malls and no matter how many Berkins you bought for the girlfriend, mistress and wife in the last year, you have to buy at least one fake in Bangkok. Whether it’s Levi’s jeans, a Samsung Tab rip off or a Louis Vuitton laptop bag – you will arrive in India with at least one fake. Tragically for you, Thai airport security is very strict about

DCP No. DELENG 17964

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