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INT. FRAT BAR - SATURDAY NIGHT It’s dimly lit and quiet. Empty bottles of cheap liquor line the walls. JASON (O.S.) (loud) Are we ready boys? On the floor kneels FIVE ROBBED MEN. Dark hoods cover their faces. Flickering candles are scattered around them. JASON (23) A burly, tight-shirted man, walks a line in front of them, barking orders like a staff sergeant. JASON (CONT’D) You get two choices. The hooded men watch Jason strolls to the bar. A SMALL CROWD of similar looking frat boys look in from another room with anticipation. Jason stands before the bar. On it, lays a crimson cloth draping over a a small object. JASON (CONT’D) This is a pocket pussy. Jason tears off the cloth. And yes, there is a pocket pussy. The hooded figures squirm. JASON (CONT’D) One of you is going to get very unlucky. One of you won’t get to lick this pocket pussy. Jason, why would I want to like a pocket pussy? Because the last guy to lick this pocket pussy, which a few ...most ...of the guys here used earlier. Is going to have their shame be public. We don’t tattle here, do we boys? CROWD (as one) NO! JASON So the guys who do get a taste won’t get put into the hospital, right?


CROWD NO! JASON Because all you have to do to get in is lick the pussy. Isn’t that easy? CROWD (mummuring) Well... ONE GUY FROM CROWD It just tastes like dick. And cum. JASON --Because the last person to lick this won’t be walking out of here, will they? WHEELS (22), a skinny guy in a wheelchair with a terrified look upon his face wheels himself out of a back room. JASON (CONT’D) We mean it, right wheels? WHEELS They broke my spine -- Some of them have steel toe boots -- They kept kicking me -- I’ll never walk ag---An initiate, NUMBER ONE (17) breaks the kneeling line and rushes the pocket pussy. He takes a big dirty lick. NUMBER ONE Aww fuck. JASON ULLH. Anyone else? Number One drops the pocket pussy on the ground. The four remaining initiates (all typical seventeen year-old frat boys) go wild. They scramble on the floor for the pussy. NUMBER TWO grabs the pussy and licks it. TERRY Goddamn. THREE elbows TWO and takes a lick, FOUR and the last initiate, KYLE wrestle on the dirty ground for a chance to get their taste buds violated and avoid a beating.


FOUR gets it. As Four takes a lick, Number One vomits all over FOUR’s verbarhyperapophysis. (Fuck you ComedyWeekly17) Jason and the Crowd stare at Kyle with great big smiles. WHEELS Get the rope. INT. FRAT BAR - LATER Kyle is tied up in a chair, naked. The frat boys have a funnel that they put to his mouth and pour alcohol down, a few shots at a time. Again. And again. Kyle can barely sit in his seat as he attempts to spit a shot out. Jason gets right up in Kyle’s face. JASON We’re not going to kick your ass. NUMBER ONE (O.S.) What!? JASON We’re gonna send you out on the street and chase you until you can’t run no more, then we’re gonna kick your ass. Jason looks like he just shit himself. NUMBER ONE (O.S.) Oh. Good. ...For me. Kind of. JASON Let’s get him. EXT. FRAT BAR - LATER The Crowd watches Kyle run out the bar door, stark naked. JASON Terry, Franklin, make lots of noise and follow him. Make him belive we’re out to get him.


With vigor, Terry and FRANKLIN (typical frat guy) get into a nearby SUV and drive off into the night after Kyle. Jason and the Crowd goes back inside. EXT. URBAN STREETS - CONTINUOUS Kyle, naked, tripping over curbs, hedges, and himself, runs as fast as his drunken legs can take him away from the bar. In their SUV, Franklin and Terry WHOOP it up chasing Kyle. They make a show if it, getting close and always letting Kyle escape. TERRY AND FRANKLLIN We’re gonna get you punk! Skeet Skeet! Look at the naked guy go! Kyle turns a corner, the SUV closes in behind him. He spots a thin sliver of wall, just wide enough enough to slip in. THREE LADIES stand in the way. KYLE Get the fuck outta the way! Kyle rams into the women, knocking them down. They hit the ground and get knocked out cold. Kyle jumps into the hole and squirms down the best he can, his body scraping against the walls. Close to him is a window that would provide more space. He wiggles over to it, his ass starts to bleed.. There is a vent next to the window. We hear air being pumped. KYLE (CONT’D) Fuck it’s hot. Outside the hole, the ladies awake and try to stand, but can only crawl. Terry and Franklin get close. KYLE (CONT’D) From the window, to the wall, sweat drips down the my balls. All the bitches crawl.


TERRY Oh skeet skeet motherfucker! FRANKLIN Oh skeet Skeet Goddamn.

Forgive me. This is the result of no sleep and too much coffee. Though with more work, I feel it could be glorious. Skeet Skeet, Motherfucker.