Having an Ego
It doesn’t have to be a Bad thing. I think people have given this a bad Rap over the years!
You often hear others say something about people’s egos. Most of the time it’s something along the lines of “He or She has a huge ego”. I think most people think about Pride or Vanity when we think of the term “Ego”. It could also be referred to as an overinflated sense of self. All an ego is in reality though is an image each one of us have of ourselves. If we talk negatively about ourselves people think we need help and need to stop degrading ourselves, but if we talk highly of ourselves we are labeled as a person with a huge ego that needs to be tamed or calmed down somewhat. Its’ ridiculous because you can’t win no matter which way you go. Is there a balance between the two? Yes sure there is, but what’s wrong with feeling good about yourself? What’s wrong with having an overinflated sense of self? I mean what does it hurt you or anyone else? We are all either talking good about ourselves and bragging or we are constantly degrading ourselves and talking down about ourselves. An Ego is a form of self identity which is derived from the things you tell yourself and the things you believe. It also stems from what others say about you that you’ve decided to accept as truth. Did they say something good about you but then turn around and talk about your ego behind your back? Well sounds to me like they don’t know what to think about you or how to feel about you. An Ego is a heavily protected shell no matter which way you look at it. It’s a form of protection and form of separation to the point of where you can say Ok Here’s me and then there’s the rest of the universe and other people. Someone told me once that I was Intrinsically Motivated which means I get my Motivation from within myself. Don’t we all? Or are you dependent upon what others believe about you? I personally think we are all both parts whether any of us want to admit it or not. The sense of separation that we have is actually an intrinsic part of our egos. Normally people with a huge high ego will complain about other people, situations or something that is happening at the current moment but actually shouldn’t be. Haven’t we all done that? Are there really just a handful of separated people in this world who have only done this and the rest never claim to? Please… be real! Now this is where it gets tricky because whether anyone wants to admit it or not our Emotions take over. We simply can’t tell our brains to stop thinking a certain way the very same as we cannot tell our Emotions to stop feeling a certain way. It is what it is and in my opinion if people don’t like how you are they should truly keep walking. From what I’ve read it seems as though most Articles on this topic will talk about “Every time you complain about something it’s blamed on your ego because it’s going to be blamed on your ego having you in its grip”. What are we? People who are in trances that some form of energy controls our bodies? Please… People want to talk about how we all are one and we all come from the same place (which is true) but they want to turn around and deny that they are like this in any way at all? So what I understand from all of that is this.. Our ego’s take over our minds and we can’t control it but you say we can control it yet we don’t and then we deny it if it happens and blame it on someone else? I don’t know about you but I’m guilty of degrading myself and saying bad things about myself the very same as I’m guilty of uplifting myself and trying to get a sense that I actually have some value in this world. I have no problem admitting it. Do you? Do I think I’m special? You bet I do (in certain areas) but at the same time I also think horrible of myself (in certain areas). Is there anything wrong with having both of these? Not in my opinion. I’d say if anyone has a problem with it then don’t bother talking to me or being part of my life. I’d rather have people around me that are real and honest anyway. I do believe people need to become aware of what they are thinking and ask themselves all the possible questions they can in order to have a final closure to those thoughts. It doesn’t matter if they are negative or positive. We are allowed to do that as humans and anyone who says otherwise well, I think they are control freaks myself. Why on earth would anyone want to try and control their own minds, emotions, feelings, character, behavior etc.. The list goes on. God gave us what we have so why cut any of it off? Do you not like what you were given? Take it up with God then would be my suggestion. I think what bothers me the most is that there are people in this world who actually think that having an ego is a form of imprisonment that we need to free ourselves from. Are you kidding me? If you don’t feel imprisoned why should you change? Just because they want you to? Think about it! I have learned in life that no matter what anyone says or does or thinks or feels or says that there is a contradiction for it. Everything in life contradicts itself it doesn’t matter what it is. If you think deep enough on that topic you’ll see I’m right. Human Inflicted Revenge brought upon my life by others taught me that one. So Thank You! Anyone who knows me at all, even just a little bit knows me enough to know that I analyze every single thing. For instance, if you tell me the sky is blue I will show you that it’s not just blue. If you tell me that I’m pretty I may say Thank You but I will also show you that there’s a part of me that isn’t. I try to think of every single path possible for every single situation that I come across in order to make a final decision. Personally it works for me and I don’t have a problem with it. If you do well, I’m so sorry, I hope you get over it because I’m not changing for you or anyone else unless you think you can show just cause to change my mind? It better be good though I’m pretty strong in how I think and what I believe in. Let’s see what all the items are that could be classified as habitual thoughts that we all have. There is Negative Thoughts, Irritation, Anger, Impatience, and even Sadness. If you dare tell me you haven’t had these or that
you are controlling them in some way I would be so disappointed and sad for you, even if you think you are happier that way. Oh woops, there was an error in that last sentence, did I say “if you think”. Yes I believe I did. So my question to you is what makes you think you can think that way but I can’t think another? What states that you are correct and I am not? What is right and wrong in that area? If you pull out a book or a quote or show me in history or any man made book that it’s true somehow I will turn my head, just the same as you can turn your head at what I’m saying here. I think what happens is people aren’t aware of what they say sometimes, I know I’m guilty of this. Are you? Awareness is very important when it comes to making decisions as to whether to actually believe it or not, and it doesn’t really even matter because it all depends on circumstances, situations we go through, experiences, what others say, what we tell ourselves and a plethora of other things. Some would even say thinking negatively is dysfunctional, well if it’s dysfunctional then what isn’t? Are you trying to tell me you’ve never ever felt these ways? Are you trying to tell me you have n ever experienced any of those things? Are you saying you used to say and experience and think and do those things and then turned your thinking all around to free yourself from the imprisonment? Well if you have succeeded in doing this somehow then I have some advice for you and this is harsh! If you can control all of those feelings, thoughts, emotions, etc… when you choose to then you can control then during any situation, even if someone close to you passes away. One situation isn’t worse than any other. They are all serious. I actually had a conversation with one of my past Therapists about this topic and left her speechless. She didn’t want to treat me any longer, I think it’s because I intimidated her? I’m not sure. Either way I moved on to a different Therapist because I’d rather engage in intellectual conversation rather than how someone was trained to think in Psychology School. So my thoughts are this. So what if you get mad? So what if you get irritated? So what if you think negatively about yourself? So what if you think positive about yourself? We all do each of these things and to deny it would be denying a part of who you are. If you are higher than anyone else who has these feelings and have somehow learned to control all of these things then by all means I suppose Ego is right at the top of the platter for you. Congrats! I don’t know about you but I can think both positively and negatively and still enjoy the world that surrounds me. Another example would be if you lost your job, what are you going to do stand there and say “It’s great that I lost my job” and go celebrate? I think that kind of willful optimism is un-necessary, but by all means if you can do it and mean it then again Congrats! Now is there anything you can do about losing your job? You might say No here but I say yes there is. You can do several things and I won’t go into those details, I’m sure you are smart enough to figure that out on your own. After all there’s no denying or trying to ignore the fact that you just lost your job so there’s a high sense of Awareness there. My whole point to this article is we all have to find our own balance in life and do what works for us. If something works for someone else it may not work that way for someone else. It’s just like people don’t handle situations the same as one another. Everyone handles different situations differently. Here’s a good example of that. I actually know someone who told someone else that they didn’t love their mother just because they weren’t strong enough to go to the funeral. Who does that person think she is telling the other person that he doesn’t love his mother just because he didn’t go? It’s how he had to handle it and he even told me he would have to go alone after everyone left. Does she know that? Nope she just assumed he doesn’t love his mother. C’mon who are you to decide that for other people? It is my advice to find your chakra, your inner balance and never be ashamed of how you do or don’t handle certain situations. It’s the best you can do and that’s all you can do but just be honest in it. Be real in it. Don’t lie to yourself or others over it. There are tons of people in this world who think on a rainy day that it’s just a “Blah” or “Miserable” day just because it’s raining. I don’t personally feel that way but I do understand if it makes others feel that way. The better connected you are with emotions, thoughts, spirit, and anything else that comes with it the better off you will be because then and only then will you be able to be truly honest with what “Reality” is. Keep in mind there is the Positive Ego and the Negative Ego. Most of the time the Human Ego is ignored because other people don’t’ want to deal with you having an Ego at all. Whether you like it or not your ego is the part of you that is making you aware that you are you and the part of you that is conscious of being you, if that makes sense. In my opinion if you didn’t have an ego at all then nothing exceptional would or could ever happen. Individuals wouldn’t be aware of their own existence; there wouldn’t be any feeling, no energy, no desire. Take this into thought, There are businesses being built every single day, Cures for diseases every single day are discovered, Inventions being made every single day, Houses that provide our warmth and comfort for us and our families, and even modern conveniences that make our lives much easier and a lot of those things have come about in this world because a whole bunch of people had/have egos. Thank God! Don’t think for one second that you are someone who doesn’t hold grudges in your life (or never have) because it’s part of our nature and inclinations. I won’t deny that the Ego is and can be a very powerful and benevolent force for the good of others, where it can also cause problems but those problems are normally something we have to deal with on our own.