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Nicholas Gordon
Copyright © 2008 by Nicholas Gordon

This story may be used free for any personal or non-

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PASSOVER: 5364 3

"Cordoba, then Evora!" David exclaimed.
"Amazing! My great-great-grandfather, too!"
"Your family name?" Francisco asked. "Forgive
me. Again?"
"Da Costa."
"Da Costa ..." Francisco searched his memory.
"How long was your family in Evora?"
"About thirty years. I'm not sure. They left for
Majorca around 1528 or 9."
"Perhaps," Francisco said. "Does de la Penha
ring a bell?"
David shook his head.
"Still," Francisco said, "I'm sure our families
knew each other. We might even be cousins!"
The two men laughed.
"Forgive me," Francisco said again. "My wife,
Blanca. And our children: Hanna, Miguel, and
As David nodded across the table, his eyes
locked on Hanna's and stayed there, entranced by her
amused smile. She looked to be about half his age,
fifteen, perhaps, though older than her two brothers.
She was not at all beautiful, but she was vivacious,
with large, sparkling black eyes set in a round, dimpled
Her little body was sturdy but shapely, at least
what David could see of it above the surface of the
table, and as he raised his eyes back to hers, he could

see that she was pleased by his perusal, and he felt a

glint of happiness pierce his heart.
Easy, he thought to himself. Having come to
Amsterdam from Venice after a long and ultimately
bitter affair, he was much too lonely, homesick, and
vulnerable to allow himself to fall in love with a child.
"The ceremony is starting," he whispered both
to the de la Penhas across from him and the Lopez
family to his left.
At the head of the long table was a shorter
table forming a T, at which was seated their host, Isaac
Pinto, with his family, Rabbi Uri Halevi of Emden, in
East Friesland, who had come to Amsterdam to help
Judaize the Portuguese conversos, and the rabbi's son
Aaron, who would translate the Hebrew into Ladino,
since his father knew neither Spanish nor Portuguese,
and the conversos knew no Hebrew.
David's job was to do simultaneous translation
and give directions further down the table from the
"Not so much wine," he whispered to Hanna,
who had taken the instruction, "Fill the first cup of
wine" too literally.
She shrugged, smiling. Too late! she seemed to
"Then don't drink the whole cup," he
suggested. "Just a little of it. Leave the rest for the
second cup of wine."
Blessed art Thou, O Lord, King of the Universe,
Who has created the fruit of the vine, he translated.
PASSOVER: 5364 5

Hanna smiled impishly and downed the whole

"Wait!" he said as she began to refill the glass.
"You fill it again later."
She nodded and put down the decanter.
"Drink your wine," she reminded him.
He had forgotten, and took a quick sip.
"Saving for the second cup?" she asked
So he finished it, feeling flush from more than
the wine.
The ceremony flowed on at the head of the
table as David and the other tutors tried to keep up
with the current. They had been recruited from places
like Venice and Salonika, where the formerly Spanish
Jews had emigrated in large numbers, to serve as
liaisons between the conversos and the traditional
Judaism to which they aspired.
When the meal was finally served, having been
prepared under the supervision of the Ashkenazi
rabbi, it seemed strange to almost everyone else there --
roasted lamb served with a sticky mixture of carrots
and prunes, and matzah puffs with onions and
mushrooms instead of the usual rice.
"Is this what we have to eat every Passover?"
Hanna asked David. "It's heavy! Heavy! Just like the
"Please, Hanna!" her mother admonished her.
"You're a guest!"
David laughed. "This is Ashkenazi food," he
explained. "Jews from the German-speaking countries

and Poland. In Venice we have three kinds of Jews --

the Ashkenazi, the Sephardi, and the Oriental -- and
each has its own food. Tomorrow night, if you like, I
can show you what we Sephardi eat on Passover."
"We would be honored to have you come,"
Francisco said, and David realized suddenly that he
had just invited himself to dinner.
"I didn't mean ..." he said, blushing.
"You're our cousin," Francisco reminded him.
"I wouldn't want to intrude."
"Please. We want to learn the right way. You
can teach us."
"We used to eat just Easter dinner," Hanna said
mischievously. "With matzah and bitter herbs. After
"Shhh!" her father warned her, but she laughed.
"And on Yom Kippur we had picnics in the
country!" she said.
"Please, Hanna!" her mother said.
"Isn't it sad?" Hanna asked David.
"Isn't what sad?"
"That we won't be doing that anymore."
He could see that the wine had made her a
little tipsy.
"And we used to pray to Santo Moses and
Santa Esterika. We won't be allowed to do that
anymore, either. We had our own little ways, and soon
they won't be even a memory. We'll be just Jews."
"Hanna!" her father said.
"But it's so cold here, Papa!" she complained.
"And dark all the time. And the people are so ... slow!
PASSOVER: 5364 7

We should have gone to Brazil. That's where my uncle

Miguel went," she said to David. "He writes it's
"We've gotten only one letter from him,"
Francisco said. "Written over four months ago, on the
day he arrived."
"I don't want to be either a Jew or a Catholic,"
Hanna went on. "I want to be a converso. I want my
children to be conversos."
"You see the damage only four generations can
do," Francisco said to David.
"It's not damage!" Hanna insisted. "It's history.
It's my history. You shouldn't just erase it. OK, we
were forced to become Catholics outside and Jews
inside, so that's what we became. Jewish cake with a
Catholic glaze. What's wrong with that?"
Again she turned to David. "That tastes pretty
good, doesn't it?"
"Delicious!" David agreed, daringly, both
because he was encouraging her flirting and because he
had been brought to Amsterdam specifically to help
these people become practicing Jews.
He saw Francisco and Blanca exchange an
alarmed look.
"Maybe you should limit yourself to just a sip
of the third and fourth cups of wine," David suggested
to Hanna.
"I'm so homesick!" she said. "Aren't you
homesick for wherever you came from?"
"Venice," David said.

"I'm homesick for Evora! I want to see long,

long stretches of golden landscape rolling like a solid
sea! I want to see blue mountains in the distance and
little brown villages strewn like boulders across a
hillside. I want to smell oranges and lemons in my
yard, and sit under grape arbors, and walk across wide
plazas in the sun. The sun! I can't stand this freezing,
gloomy flatness, as though the world had gotten so wet
that it shrank!"
"It's spring now," Blanca pointed out. "Soon
the sun will come out. You'll see."
"But how will I live through these endless
winters!" Hanna wailed. "Even during the day there's
no light!"
"Shhh!" Francisco hushed her again. "This is
our home now. And we're guests."
"How can it be home if we're guests?"
"Jews are guests everywhere," David said. "Only
in some places less unwelcome than in others."
"Why do we have to become Jews, then?"
Hanna said to her parents. "We should have become
Catholics, like they wanted us to, and then we could
have stayed in Evora."
"Shhh!" Francisco said again, this time more
forcefully. "Enough!"
"We're about to begin again, anyway," David
warned. "So open, please, to Page 14. It's the grace after
And once again they were immersed in a sea of
Hebrew, pulled along by the lifeline of David's
PASSOVER: 5364 9

whispered translation until they reached the opposite

At the end of the Seder, David asked Francisco
and Blanca again if they would like him to call the
next afternoon to teach them how to prepare a
traditional Sephardi Passover meal.
"We would be very grateful," Francisco said,
"for whatever you can teach us."
"Then perhaps, also, you would like some
Hebrew lessons, either for you or your children or
perhaps the family. That's what I did in Venice -- I was
a teacher at the Sephardic Talmud Torah."
"I'm afraid ..." Francisco began, blushing.
"There would be no charge," David said, also
blushing. He glanced at Hanna, who looked quickly
"But how will you live?"
"Senhor Pinto will be starting a Talmud Torah,
and I will teach there. You can send Manuel and
Miguel. But for now, and for you and your wife and
daughter, I can, if you like ..."
David felt as though he were drowning, as
though he had stepped too far into the water and was
now being borne out to sea by the undertow, and that
it was futile to try to do anything about it.
"We can discuss it tomorrow," Francisco was
saying. "We will expect you in the afternoon, yes?"
Later that night David walked back to the
house where he was boarding with a Sephardic family
arrived recently from Salonika. It was an ingathering
of the Spanish exiles in this foreign city, so both like

and unlike Venice with its islands and canals, yet dank
and cloudy and heavy and slow. An unlikely place
except for the accident that it had been a possession of
Spain, and that it had been able to liberate itself from
both the oppressive Spanish monarchy and the
Yes, Jews were guests everywhere, here as well.
But here, at least, unlike Venice, a Jew needn't wear a
yellow star, and could come and go out of the Jewish
quarter whenever he pleased. For the moment, at least,
it was a good place for Jews.
But who knew what fate awaited them here?
Suppose he married the charmingly spoiled and high-
spirited Hanna, and they had children and then
grandchildren who spoke Dutch, and in the end they
all mingled their bones with this rich soil stolen from
the sea?
Who knew whether in ten or a hundred or two
or three hundred years they would all be massacred?
After all, they had lived for centuries in Spain before
those most Catholic majesties, Ferdinand and Isabella,
murdered many of them and forced the rest either to
convert or move on.
Who knew? Jews were guests wherever they
were. Exiles. Wanderers, with only a mythic home.
That is, until the Messiah came. But for the
moment David really didn't care when the Messiah
came, life was so hopeful and beautiful and full of
love and wonder.