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Goddess) using sexual energy as the fuel or vehicle. Sexual energy is the most powerful force within the human body and can lead to profound spiritual experiences accompanied by intense physical pleasure and bliss. Tantrikas use their sexual energy with awareness, love and respect, for themselves and their partner. Tantra views all of nature as energy, vibrating at different rates and manifesting itself in a myriad of ways e.g., matter, space, time, forces, people, animals, objects, etc. Harmony and peace are the result of energies being in balance. Life flows without restriction. Often, due to various reasons, the energies that make up the human body become unbalanced. This results in ill health, sleeplessness, sluggishness, pain, distraction, and many other unwanted conditions including unsatisfactory sexual performance. The goal of the Tantric Polarity Process is to bring the body into a balanced state before engaging in sexual activity. The benefits are many: including deep relaxation, heightened sexual response and better health. The process builds trust and intimacy between partners, and is easy to do. From the Tantric perspective there are many energy centers in the body. The seven primary psycho-energeticvortices are referred to as Chakras (loosely translated as "Wheels of Light"), each having a specific function in the body. Most important is the Heart Chakra. There are three Chakras above and three Chakras below the Heart Chakra. The upper three have to do with intellect and spirituality. The three lower Chakras deal with base human needs and emotions. The Heart Chakra balances the Spirit with the flesh. This Chakra is the seat of unconditional love and divine grace.
Allow 45 minutes for this process. Each step takes about 5 minutes. Allow yourself to relax and take your time. Deep belly breathing helps with relaxation, as does a hot shower or bath. The receiver is to relax, breathe deeply and receive. The giver is to be of service to their partner. This is an intimate process done with love and respect. The giver will be placing their hands on various parts of the receiver's body. This is done slowly, with awareness, avoiding jerky movements. The receiver is to be naked, laying flat on their back, with legs flat and spread comfortably apart. A rolled up towel or pillow can be placed under the neck for comfort. The giver is to sit on the right side of the receiver. The giver orients
relaxed breathing. Do this several times. It is also the place where a powerful force (Kundalini) emanates from. This indicates that energy is moving in the body. this energizes your hands and prepares them for touching the receiver's body. The giver rubs their hands together. healer and lover. Keep your hands in this position for 5 minutes. This is their center and seat of Divine essence. as friend. with their sacred center. that deal with money. Both giver and receiver spend about 5 minutes focusing on deep. gently rock your right hand to awaken this Chakra. on the receivers Heart Chakra. Do this for 5 minutes. Keep both hands on the receiver's heart for 5 minutes. You are bringing infinite love and wisdom into their human life form. Move your right hand on top of your left hand. The giver places their left (negatively charged) hand. Become aware of your healing powers. Begin each breath with a relaxed belly. This is located in the center of the chest. money. Place your right hand on the receiver's heart and move your left hand to their throat. The receiver will likely experience sexual arousal. gently. creating heat. If the receiver is a woman. cup your hand over the testicles and penis (Lingam). flowing through your body and streaming out your hands into the receiver's body. and visualize powerful energies coming from the earth and the universe. Imagine all that you have to give. allow your fingers to contact the clitoris and vulva. gently move yourright hand to their genitals. This is the seat of their sexual desire and procreative power. Just relax. flowing from your hands into their heart. shelter. the center of their personal power. It is very important for the giver to find a comfortable position where they will not have to move their body during the process. Be gentle. This is located between the anus and genitals. This is a very important step. You are balancing the lower Chakras. Let your thoughts and concerns fade away. Keeping your left hand on the receiver's heart. the heart. Occasionally. Shake the hands. etc. away from the receiver's body.him/herself in such a way as to be able to reach the receiver's genitals with the right hand and the top of the receiver's head with the left hand. keep breathing deeply. sex and power issues. Keep your left hand on their heart Chakra. This is the foundation of survival and human needs (food. do not press down and just let your . Among other things. If the receiver is a man. You are touching the most intimate and beautiful part of the receiver. The giver then places their RIGHT (positively charged) hand. The giver keeps their hands in place for 5 minutes. gently on the receivers Root Chakra. between the nipples.). Move your right hand to just below the receiver's navel. It is clinically referred to as the Perineum. and flick the fingers as if energy were sparking off your fingers.
but this is another subject entirely. You may leave them in this state (lucid dreaming or meditative) or you can begin another sexual activity. At first blush it seems a simple proposition. This is the home of their intellect and psychic powers. shake your hands. Walk away from them.hand rest gently on the throat Chakra . the result is that it’s difficult for a woman to know how to best touch a man. in the hope that their partners response will serve as a guide. A “stick figure” compared to a to a Vermeer painting. [Conversely the same can be said about men and their level of appreciation for the female body. Quite a few men may not even be aware of the most effective techniques themselves. However. With the right hand in place on the receiver's heart. slowly and with total awareness. Gently. Despite the fact that a woman’s clitoris is something of counterpart to a man’s penis. the reality can be as different as “chopsticks” is to a Brahms concerto. This circumstance results in a host of faulty assumptions. The Crown Chakra is their connecting point to the Divine and channels spiritual energy. Move the left hand to the top or crown of the receiver's head. Remain here for 5 minutes. and flick your fingers again. silently. guesswork and experimentation. move your body away from theirs and stand up. While some women may mimic the techniques they might have seen in “Blue” movies. move the left hand to their forehead. . Slowly. Remain at this center for 5 minutes. others may attempt to refer to what they’ve read in a range of publications. Stay in this position for 5 minutes. The drawback with this methodology is that many men are not able to effectively communicate their desires verbally or may be embarrassed to make use of “show & tell". Keep the right hand on their heart. TheLingam Massage or Yoni Massage is most effective after this process. The male body must first be understood before it may be played in the same manner as a virtuoso commands a musical instrument. Withdraw your hands in a manner that they barely notice it. At this point they will most likely be in a deeply relaxed and highly sensitized state. This is the source of their creative expression and communication. Unfortunately most women have only marginal or little understanding of the male anatomy. The inevitable ineptitude often produces sour notes. Anyone can do it. stimulating each to the pinnacle of arousal involves very different techniques. Ultimately the majority simply proceed by trial and error.] The problem stems from the fact that male and female genitalia are entirely different from one another. remove your hands from the receiver's body. Understandably.
It’s little appreciated that this is an acquired talent. Specific complaints range from grips which are too limp. pull up and slide off. under his hips. Traditional sexual conditioning has the man in a doing and goal oriented mode. Remind the receiver to breathe deeply and to sink deeper into relaxation. Before contacting the body. change the direction by starting the squeeze at the head of the Lingam and then . His legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and his genitals clearly exposed for the massage. perineum and Sacred Spot (prostate) externally.. relaxed breathing. to a lack conviction and exuberance. The Lingam Massage allows the man to experience his softer. Subtle techniques. From this perspective both receiver and giver relax into the massage. right. the Lingam is respectfully viewed and honored. Then.. Beginning the Massage Have the receiver lie on his back with pillows under his head so he can look up at his partner (giver). to get the receiver to relax. Orgasm is not the goal of the Lingam massage although it can be a pleasant and welcome side effect. chest. abdomen. much more than most anyone can imagine. allowing the man to surrender to a form of pleasure he may not be accustomed to. and often pull or tug at inappropriate moments. as a "Wand of Light" that channels creative energy and pleasure. left. the area between the testicles and anus. etc. Massage the scrotum gently. covered with a towel. continue to: The Sanskrit word for the male sexual organ is Lingam and is loosely translated as "Wand of Light.. begin with deep. taking care to not cause pain in this sensitive area. Men need to learn to relax and receive. nipples. etc. on the pubic bone. then alternate with your left hand. Pour a small quantity of oil on the shaft of the Lingam and testicles. Take your time doing this." In Tantra or Sacred Sexuality. also including testicles. Take time when massaging the shaft of the Lingam. Gently massage the legs. left. continuously disrupting the all important rhythm. thighs. Massage the perineum. Gently squeeze the Lingam at the base with your right hand. Often women have little sense of how to control the ebb and flow of orgasmic sensations. the male genitalia as well as adjacent erotic zones must first be understood. Massage the area above the Lingam. more receptive side and experience pleasure from a non-traditional perspective. Vary the speed and pressure. Place a pillow. Women seem hesitant to apply pressure. right.Not surprisingly many men feel that women aren't sufficiently skilled at handling penises. The goal is to massage the Lingam. Begin gently massaging the testicles. causing it to relax. A woman’s hands are capable of amazing erotic pleasuring.
Do this several times. Hardness and softness are two ends of the pleasure spectrum. The Sacred Spot Find and massage the male Sacred Spot. The man may have strong emotions come up during access to the Sacred Spot.. It is important to remember that the goal is not orgasm in and of itself. Ending the Massage When he feels complete (with the massage). and then backing off. like riding a wave. back off. then go soft. You. Eventually ejaculatory mastery will allow you to make love as long as you want and you can become multi-orgasmic without losing a drop of semen. Try pushing in on this spot when he nears ejaculation. get hard again. The result is a very expanded sex life. bobbing up and down. You will probably find that it will get hard. he will be able to expand his orgasms and master ejaculatory control. Massage the head of the Lingam as if you are using an orange juicer. Deep breathing is key here and will soften the urge to ejaculate. The Lingam may or may not go soft as you perform this technique. He will feel the pressure deep inside and it may be uncomfortable at first. In Tantra there are many nerve endings on the Lingam that correspond to other parts of the body. Eventually. There is a small indentation about the size of a pea or maybe larger midway between the testicles and anus. You can massage his Lingam with your right hand and massage his Sacred Spot with your left hand. gently remove your hands cover him and keep him warm. Again. which is a highly desirable Tantric experience. the giver. Be gentle and push inward. Orgasm and ejaculation are two different responses that you can learn to separate.sliding down and off. If it appears that the receiver is going to ejaculate. allowing the Lingam to soften a little before resuming the massage. Massage all around the head and shaft. etc. It is believed that many ailments may be cured by a good Lingam massage. Be the best friend and healer he could have in that moment. as this area is worked on and softened. allow him to rest quietly for at least five to ten minutes. alternate with right and left hands. are creating a place of trust and intimacy. Most importantly. Men can learn the art of ejaculatory mastery and control by coming close to ejaculation and then backing off on the stimulation. coming close to ejaculation. Do not worry if it doesn't get hard again. .
A significant amount of oil (1-3 oz. for the purpose of warmth and modesty [depending on the depth of your relationship]. The receiver's midsection may be covered with a towel. Begin the massage by exposing the receiver's shoulders and neck. Beginning the massage Instruct the receiver lay face down. Be sure to arrange a number of bath size towels to protect the bedding from the excess oil. Evolution has designed the female genitalia to be entered from the rear. as her body is less exposed. lavish it! Use only specially formulated massage oils [we use citrus scented water soluble grape-seed oil in our studio]. The inside of the thighs and labial lips are more sensitive to touch. Always keep in mind that you can never apply too much oil. the mind or the body. Be sure to use . when stroked from the rear (as opposed to the front). The room should be warm and draft free. Avoid pouring the oil directly onto the skin. The feeling of the "face down" position is conducive in fostering a sense of well being. it may be desirable to take a short shower. Soothing music and candlelight will greatly enhance the atmosphere. Another reason that massage from the back may have an advantage. as opposed to a hot bath. a platform design is still better. which in turn makes it easier for the woman to "let herself go". the pressure you exert may be firm enough to have some therapeutic value. and rub both hands together vigorously so as to warm the hands as well as the oil. A bath often tends to loosen the outermost layer of skin. her face resting either on her own crossed forearms or a flat pillow. of which the most pleasing should be selected. This is not to imply that the front should be neglected. A carefully arranged and nurturing atmosphere is essential to achieving the greatest possible pleasure. The massage can be conducted on a reasonably firm bed. which when waterlogged will shed (creating gritty particles) and interfere with the massage.) should be expended during the massage. The first is simply a design of nature. unless it has been previously heated. During love making the mind is often capable of reaching significantly higher levels than the physical being. only that the back should be paid more attention. Turning off the telephone is absolutely essential! Prior to the massage. Do not spare the oil. is that a woman often feel more comfortable and relaxed. Pour a liberal amount of oil into the palm of your hand. as opposed to the face to face. This may be true on a purely emotional level. western "missionary" position. You (the giver) will be seated on the edge of the bed or platform. It's simply a matter of which is more important. even without optimizing the physiological connection. Nerve endings of the female genitalia are genetically arranged to be most responsive from the rear. A wide range of scents are available. the face down position is perhaps best for massaging the female body.Although it is rarely considered or appreciated. In the natural world males always approach (and join) with the female from the rear. Although you are performing a sensual massage. Some would argue that face to face intercourse is more intense and fulfilling. Plan on at least one hour (at a very minimum) of completely undisturbed and uninterrupted time. Why is the back so important? There are two primary reasons.
individual fingers. allow your hand to glide down to the labia. As the receiver becomes progressively more relaxed. Position the receiver's legs somewhat apart. Combining these experiences can result in a geometric progression over each individual technique. While a bed is generally too soft. Or you might massage her rosebud with the pad of your thumb. arms and hands. neck and shoulders. In which case it is recommended to use a latex glove. Too wide is not necessary. thighs. a yoga or exercise mat (large enough for two) will work quite well. buttocks and legs. The room itself should be comfortably warm (when naked) and draft free. This should be repeated in an up and down motion (from above the rosebud to the labia and back up again). while twirling the clitoris with two other fingers. This position not only raises their rear end. Gently grasp and stroke the labial lips with your fingers. A dish of high .sufficient pressure so as not to tickle the receiver. The buttocks may now be massaged in a circular motion. As her level of excitement grows begin gently reach into her vagina [which should be quite open at this point] and massage sides of the vaginal opening. The art of pleasuring one's partner has been discussed in great detail throughout this website. begin to stroke the clitoral hood. Creating the proper space is essential to achieving the most perfect result: As with most other tantric techniques it’s best performed on a stable and firm surface. A preprogrammed selection of inspirational mood music will help to complete the atmosphere. feet and toes.. The genital region will require the least pressure and the greatest sensitivity. Alternately stroke the base of the crease between the buttocks. Do not penetrate the anus or vagina during this phase of the massage. back. If the clitoris is already exposed and swollen. After stroking the rosebud. by pulling in their knees closer to their chest. The massage should be performed in a radiating manner. The answer may vary from one individual to another. You may continue to stimulate the clitoris with the pad of your thumb. Ask the receiver which she prefers. Most particularly the neck. followed by long vertical strokes beginning at the waist and ending at mid thigh. Caressing and stroking these magical elements simultaneously. or alternately can produce a virtually endless cycle of orgasms. A few candles will serve nicely for the purpose of intimate illumination. After the lubrication seeping from the receiver's vaginal opening becomes more evident. through speed and pressure. vaginal opening and rosebud. toward the labial lips. Be very careful not scratch with your fingernails! Vary the amount of stimulation to clitoris. back. arms. but further exposes the clitoris. calves. to be sure that there is no possibility of irritating this most sensitive area (even short and well manicured fingernails may cause discomfort). brushing along the anus (rosebud). Do not enter her anus unless she desires this. using the pads of two fingers (index and pointer). Each stroke moving progressively further inside the thigh. begin to rub it directly. shoulders. hands. After becoming aroused some women may reflexively begin to raise their pelvis.. the towel covering her waist may be removed.
after which the roles are reversed. as well as two latex gloves and jellied water based lubricant. During this early phase the sensual massage should be limited in its intensity. The ultimate experience: Those who seek a yet higher level of excitement and unique pleasure. One position which perhaps offers the best compromise. Since you can expect to remain in the selected position for more than a short length of time. The very . After the couple becomes sufficiently aroused (warmed up). but the female will need to assume responsibility for her male partners level of excitement (ejaculation control). as well as their partner's genitals being stimulated. Momentarily stopping mutual massage. may consider simultaneous anal and lingam/yoni massage.quality massage oil (or two individual dispensers) should be within easy reach. as well as physical impact of this experience is nothing short of profound. Seating Positions: There are a variety of ways the couple may decide to sit. comfort is essential to achieving the perfect experience! Beginning the massage: It's usually best for one partner to begin by stroking the other. Remember. If for example the female is the giver she will begin to perform lingam massage on her partner. is to sit cross legged from one another. with no more than incidental contact to the genitals. The couple should continue to maintain eye contact with one another. The emotional sensation. It is essential that she not wait for her partner to make it known verbally that he is about to climax. This may take some experimentation in the beginning. You may use flat firm pillows to sit on (in addition to the floor mat) and to help support your back. If the male is the giver he will perform yoni massage. Just as important as comfort will be an easy accessibility to your partners body. The couple should spend at least 10 – 15 minutes stroking one another is this manner. The female does not have the same problem as she is free to orgasm as many times as she likes. It's desirable that each partner begins to simultaneously rub. each member will slip on one latex glove (which should already be within reach). The primary purpose is to graduallyelevate the feeling of desire and excitement within each partner. [Same sex couples would be performing either mutual yoni or lingam massage]. This may be difficult as each partner may be distracted by the erotic vision of their own. you must be certain that the position is not awkward for you. Jellied lubricant should now be generously applied to the index or middle finger of each gloved hand. and gently probe the other's anus. While pleasuring one another the couple should attempt to make as much eye contact with one another as possible. each partner will now begin to shift their focus onto the genital area of the other. Although it may not seem fair. If desirable one partner may use the back of a couch or wall to support their back. Regardless of your choice there are two considerations of equal importance in making that decision: comfort and easy accessibility. particularly the genital area.
In time the finger will be “allowed” to enter. After this happens do not begin pull it in and out. The anus may exhibit the somewhat schizophrenic tendency of pulling and pushing the intruding finger. When thefemale senses the male's impending climax. all at the same time. The female partner should be crooking her finger in order to contact her partner's prostate. Not certain of embarrassing or rejecting it.idea and new found sensation. using the pad of her finger to gently massage the protruding surface. Each partner will vividly notice the other's anal contractions. she may simply reduce stimulation to the lingam (while pressuring the prostate with her inserted finger). but only feel your way around this new environment. The result will be more intense than anything the couple has ever experienced. . she may allow the male reach his climax. Begin to resume mutual genital massage. with a possibility of timing the event with her own orgasm. of fondling one another’s anal opening is quite indescribable. It may take time and patience. but even a reluctant sphincter will allow a loving probing finger to enter. Alternatively.
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