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7/29/13

8 writing tips - Skills - IB English A: Language & Literature

8 writing tips: Feedback
This lesson focuses on eight ways to invigorate your writing style. These tips will come in handy for all written activities that you do, from essay writing to creative writing. They help you meet the third aim of Group 1 courses in the IB Diploma, which states that students are to "develop powers of expression, both in oral and written Which of the following best describes communication." your feedback? Recommend Report a In order to meet this objective, you will compare and contrast two letters of application. The second letter is an improvement on the first. Then you will find problem Suggest an examples of these 8 tips in the improvements. improvement Other

Eight ways to improve your writing

Y o u rf e e d b a c k . . . ( o p t i o n a l )

Read these following 8 tips on how to improve your writing and search for examples of them in the improved letter below. 8 ways to improve your writing To prevent spam, type the code below: 1. Clauses at the beginning of a sentence: good idea, but avoid really long ones. There is nothing more boring than a series of sentences that all start with the subject of the sentence: Instead of: "I train dogs. The animal shelter hires me. I do this every weekend." Try: "As part of my weekend job at the animal shelter, I train dogs."

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While clauses at the beginnings of sentences are great, you can have too much of a good thing. Avoid really long clauses at the beginning of a sentence: Close Submit Instead of: "Every day, as I walk to work and pass the kiosk, where they sell those delicious chocolate bars, I stop to buy one." Submit Feedback Try: "Every day on my way to work, I stop to buy one of those delicious chocolate bars that they sell at the kiosk." 2. Avoid 'it' as the subject of a sentence. Sentences that start with 'it' or dummy subjects, such as 'there is...' or 'there are...', are quite weak. Instead of: "It is often the case that mobile phones end up on the lunch trays after the meal." Try: "Mobile phones often end up on the lunch trays after the meal." Sentences that start with 'there is..' or 'there are... often have a 'who' or 'which' that follow. These can be cleaned up as follows: Instead of: "There is this guy at school who always annoys me." Try: "This guy at school always annoys me." 3. Use the right verb tense. This may come more naturally for native speakers of English. Nevertheless, many people make mistakes in the verb tense that they use. Be sure to know when to use each tense, such as the present simple, the present perfect, etc. Instead of: "I am attending this school since 2010." Try: "I have attended this school since 2010" (the present perfect). 4. Use (relative) clauses. Using clauses in general is a good idea, as we saw in the first tip. Using relative clauses, which expand on ideas further (like this one), are also a good idea. Relative clauses make use of words such as 'which', 'who' and 'where' Instead of: "I have a new job. I enjoy it a lot." Try: "I have a new job, which I enjoy a lot." 5. Watch out for wordy sentences. It is good to read and reread your own work. Often times during self-evaluation, you see sentences that are not clear or 'run on'. Wordy sentences can be cleaned up with punctuation and parallel constructions (Tip 7). Instead of: "If everyone in the building were to just clean up their own garbage and if they just sorted it properly then the recycle man wouldn't have to go through everything, then we wouldn't have to pay extra fees for this service." Try: "If everyone in the building disposed of his or her own waste in the proper recycle bins, then we would not have extra expenses."
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Avoid 'it' as the subject of a sentence. where I could be part of a pioneering and ambitious team. They climbed under the covers and I tucked them in.. Use the right verb tense. [Hide] It feels so natural to me to be a primary school teacher. [Hide] Yet for the past few months I am longing for and thinking about a new personal challenge. each morning." The active form of this phrase would be: "I built the house." Try: "I brushed the children's teeth. [Hide] Being a primary school teacher comes so naturally to me. such as ‘who’." Try: "Although the character displays a lot of courage.IB English A: Language & Literature 6. Use parallelisms. Passive verb phrases use the verb 'to be' and the past participle of another verb.7/29/13 8 writing tips . (Use present perfect with ‘for x amount of time…’) Use (relative) clauses." Instead of: "The novel has been criticized by feminists. Look at the teacher's underlined corrections and comment on how the sentenced have been improved." Notice how ideas 1-3 all contain a verb and an object. Explain how each of the 8 tips are done well in the 'corrected letter' and poorly in the 'original letter'. (2) read notecards or (3) memorize a script. [Hide] Over the past six years. international school. But she fails to save the day. They all line up nicely in parallel. Never start a sentence with 'But'." Try: "Feminists have criticized the novel" Compare and contrast letters Here are two letters of application. [Hide] Last. active verbs sound much stronger than passive verbs. 2/4 www. ‘where’.uk/skills/8-writing-tips. [Hide] it is a relatively young. from the poor letter from the corrected letter [Hide] Each morning for the past six years. The second letter is a corrected version of the first. These usually contain lists of noun phrases or clauses with similar structure." 7. or ‘which’.Skills . as soon as my students walk in the door… I am so happy to see them again and see my classroom take on life again. In persuasive and academic writing and speaking. Compare and contrast two letters of application Tip Don’t have too many clauses at the beginning of a sentence. Instead of: "I brushed the children's teeth and then I read a book to them. [Hide] Nevertheless for the past few months I have been contemplating a new personal challenge. For example "The house was built by me. Watch out for wordy sentences.it is a relatively young international school and I would like to be a member of a pioneering and ambitious team. The underlined phrases and words relate to the 8 tips that you have just studied.englishalanglit-inthinking. Parallelisms are sentences or phrases that contain parallel syntactical structures. [Hide] . Use active verbs. you should avoid starting sentences with it for academic purposes.co. she fails to save the day. as I think this city and also the Dutch culture have much to offer [Hide] I also like the fact it is a Dutch subsidised school with competitive fees and open doors to a variety of students. For example: "I decided not to (1) use PowerPoint. read them a book and tucked them in. I value the fact that the experience of living in Amsterdam and the Netherlands are being used and added to within the multicultural setting of your school. Although you may see sentences that start with 'But' in other works.htm ." 8. Instead of: "The character displays a lot of courage. I have been happy to see my students walk through the classroom door.

value would be added value to your organisation by.7/29/13 8 writing tips . It feels so natural to me to be a primary school teacher. Parallel structures [Hide] I am an open minded person with excellent social skills. Each morning for the past six years. Nevertheless for the past few months I have been contemplating a new personal challenge in the field of primary education. good social skills and an ability to handle pressure easily. Use active verbs instead of passive verbs. [Hide] . Candidate Y Corrected letter [Hide] Dear X. Yours sincerely. my motivation and suitability. where I could be a member of a pioneering and ambitious team. I believe value would be added to your organisation with my skills and enthusiasm and I would very much appreciate to be interviewed so that we could discuss more about the job description.htm 3/4 . teaching secondary school students might be a future job possibility to me. I graduated at an outstanding technical university and worked several years as an consulting engineer and groupleader in the field of logistics and general management. Then I decided to really follow my heart and passion and became a primary school teacher. teaching in the secondary school might be a future possibility as well. open to a variety of www.. Last. As I am very much intrigued by different cultures and languages. Your school caught my attention because it is a relatively young. To me.. I value the fact that the experience of living in Amsterdam and the Netherlands are being used and added to within the multicultural setting of your school.Skills . I have decided look for a position at an international school. international school. children of these ages are still very spontaneous and eager to learn and at the same time able to communicate and discuss well. Your school attracted my attention. Yet for the past few months I am longing for and thinking about a new personal challenge in the field of primary education. This way I developed my rational. [Hide] As a colleague you will find that I have an open mind. I tolerate pressure easily. [Hide] I would add value to your organisation.IB English A: Language & Literature Never start a sentence with ‘but’. Initially I am interested in positions in groups 3-8. I also like the fact it is a Dutch subsidised school with competitive fees.englishalanglit-inthinking.uk/skills/8-writing-tips. each morning. As I am very much intrigued by different cultures and languages I have decided to start looking for a position at an international school.co. I am an open minded person with excellent social skills. [Hide] But in view of my university education. I also like the fact it is a Dutch subsidised school with competitive fees. so it is open to a very broad variety of students. Original letter [Hide] Dear Ms X. I have been happy to see my students walk through the classroom door. as it is a relatively young international school and I would like to be member of a pioneering and ambitious team. But in view of my university education. [Hide] In view of my university education. teaching secondary school students might be a future job possibility to me. as soon as my students walk in the door… I am so happy to see them again and see my classroom take on life again. Group management. analytical and coordinating skills. I tolerate pressure easily.. as I think this city and also the Dutch culture have much to offer. Over the past six years. Being a primary school teacher comes naturally to me. organising and planning is natural to me.

Tags: essay . (Do not use the comment field above to report problems. Candidate Y Apply these tips to your classmates' work You can divide the class up into 8 'expert groups'.englishalanglit-inthinking.) © David McIntyre & Brad Philpot. where each group focuses on one tip. I graduated from an outstanding technical university and worked for several years as a consulting engineer and groupleader in the field of logistics and general management. commentary . I appreciate how your school brings the multicultural atmosphere of Amsterdam into the school. InThinking 2013 www. or 'tip'.such as broken links. To me. tips . In view of my university education. organising and planning come naturally to me. children of these ages are still very spontaneous. Then I decided to follow my heart and passion and become a primary school teacher. I believe I would add value to your organisation with my skills and enthusiasm. teaching in the secondary school might be a future possibility as well. Furthermore. eager to learn and able to communicate. Help us to maintain the site: If you find any bugs . Initially I am interested in teaching groups 3-8.please report a problem to our support team. If it is your first time you will need to subscribe. After everyone has written a rough draft of a written assignment. downloads failures. checking for your particular area of focus.IB English A: Language & Literature students. As a colleague you will find that I have an open mind. or typos .uk/skills/8-writing-tips.Skills .co. Yours sincerely. good social skills and an ability to handle pressure easily.htm 4/4 .7/29/13 8 writing tips . analytical and management skills. I would very much appreciate the opportunity to discuss the possibility of working together soon. writing Tw eet Like Print RSS Submit Feedback Comments Post a comment about the contents of this page. To post comments you need to log in. you can circulate them through each group. Through this I developed my rational. Group management.