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Selected Fatwas

Fatwa Title : Etiquette of making sex, Fatwa No. 1907 Question: What did the prophet Mohammad say about sex and foreplay, and what did he encourage? Answer: Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. The sexual instinct is one of the most important instincts that man is naturally predisposed to satisfy. It is almost impossible to prevent the healthy person from satisfying this instinct. It is not astonishing then that the Shari'a has given a great deal of interest to this matter and has set sufficient rules to channel this instinct and adjust it for the best of humanity. This is evident in several fields. Here are some of them: 1 -The Shari'a orders people to lower their gaze from looking at forbidden things, keep their private parts from illegal sexual acts and get married if they can. They should fast and be patient if they can't get married. This is because of the danger of this instinct and the importance of satisfying it through legal ways. Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): (Tell the believing men to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts etc.). That is purer for them. Verily Allah is All Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze (from looking at forbidden things) and protect their private parts (from illegal sexual acts). [24: 29-30]. It is also narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim from Abdullah Ibn Massoud ( May Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes one's sexual power". The ability to marry means being able to perform the sexual act itself and having the finances that are required for marriage. al-Termizi and Abu Dawood narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to Ali (May Allah be pleased with him) : "O Ali! Do not follow a glance (at a forbidden thing) by another glance as the first glance is yours but the second one is not". 2 -Islam orders us to cover the Awrah (for men from navel to knee; for women the whole body) because uncovering the Awrah leads to the spread of depravity and corruption. It hangs the hearts to the forbidden. It leads one to be driven by his instincts and not by the moderation required by Islam. Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): (And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts from illegal sexual acts). [70:29]. al-Termizi, Abu Dawood and Ibn Majah narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said to Mo'auiya Ibn Haida ( May Allah be pleased with him) : "Conceal your private parts except from your wife and the women slave and captive) who your right hand possesses). 3 -The Shari'a makes it clear that the purpose of marriage is not only satisfying the sexual pleasure but also seeking the reward from Allah, seeking to have children, to build a good family, to settle down physically and emotionally. Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): And among His Signs is
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this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [30:21]. Muslim narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "And in man's sexual intercourse (with his wife) there is Sadaqa (alms). They (the Companions) said: "O Messenger of Allah, is there reward for him who satisfies his sexual passion among us? He said: Tell me if he were to devote it to something forbidden, would not be a sin on his part? Similarly, if he were to devote it to something lawful, he should have a reward". al-Nassai and Abu Dawood narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Marry the fertile and affectionate women as to be the most numerous among nations, which I will vie with (on the Last Day)". 4 -The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) urged men to be friendly towards their wives and to live with them honourably. al-Termizi and Ahmad narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: " The most perfect Muslim in the matter of faith is the one who has an excellent behaviour". He also said to Jaber (May Allah be pleased with him) when he married a widow (divorced woman): "It is better to marry a virgin who plays with you and you play with her". [Bukhari and Muslim]. 5 -The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) told us about his love for his wives and stated that getting pleasure from them in accordance with the Divine injunctions is one of the greatest bounties of the present life. He said: "Three things are rendered beloved to me in the present life: women, perfume and coolness of my eyes lies in performing the Salah". [Ahmad and al- Nasai]. Another Hadith reads: "The whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit of this world is the pious woman". [Muslim]. 6 -Etiquette of sexual intercourse: Here are some Qur'anic texts and Prophetic Hadith on this matter. A: Wearing perfume: In a sound Hadith from Aisha (May Allah be pleased with her): "I used to perfume Allah's Messenger (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him), then he had sexual intercourse with his wives". [al-Bukhari & Muslim]. B: What to say while having sex. Ibn Abbas (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: " If anyone amongst you intends to go to his wife he should say: In the name of Allah, O Allah protect us against Satan and keep away the Satan from the one that you have bestowed upon us, and if He has ordained child for them, Satan will never be able to do any harm to him/her". [Muslim]. C: Permissible ways while having sex. Having sex with one's wife through vagina is the one and only permitted way whether it be from back or front. " Jabir (May Allah be pleased with him) declared that the Jews used to say: When a man has intercourse with his wife through the vagina but being on her back, the child will have squint, so the verse came down: "Your wives are your tilth; go then unto your tilth as you may desire ".[ Muslim].

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D: Prohibition of having sexual intercourse with your wife while she is in her monthly period. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that Allah's Messenger (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "Whoever has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what has been revealed to Muhammad".[al-Termizi and Abu Dawood]. E: Prohibition of having sex with a woman through her rectum. Abu Hurairah narrated that Allah's Messenger said: "He is cursed, the one who has intercourse with a woman/ sodomizes his wife in her rectum". F: It is forbidden to divulge the secret of the private relations between the two spouses. Abu Sa'id al-Khudri (May Allah be pleased with him) said: " The most wicked among the people in the eye of Allah on the Day of Judgment is the man who goes to his wife and she comes to him, and then he divulges her secret ". [Muslim]. G: al-Ghusl (taking a bath after sex) is a must. Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported that Alalh's Messenger (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "When any one sits between the four parts of her body and exerts himself (has intercourse), bathing becomes obligatory (for both)". [Related by Ahmad and Muslim]. H: Covering oneself while having sex. The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: "If anyone of you has sexual intercourse with his wife, let him cover himself, and not be naked the way the donkeys do". Scholars of Hadith believe this Hadith is weak. So one is not asked to abide by it (Hadeeth). This is some of what was revealed about sex. Allah knows best. No Limit to What May Be Seen Question: Is it allowed for a woman to look at all of the parts of her husband's body or for him to look at all of her with the intention of enjoying what is permissible? Response: It is allowed for a woman to look at any part of her husband's body and it is allowed for a man to look at all of his wife's body without any exception. This is based on the Quranic verse, "And those who guard their private parts except from their wives or slaves, for then, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors" (al-Muminoon 5-7). By Shaikh ibn Uthaimin Kissing and playing with one's wife whilst fasting *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: Is it permissible for one who is fasting to kiss his wife and play with her on the bed during the days of Ramadhaan? Response: Yes, it is permissible for one who is fasting to kiss his wife and play with her during the day in Ramadhaan. However, if he excretes semen then his fast becomes nullified. If this occurs during the day in Ramadhaan, it is obligatory he refrains (from all that which nullifies the fast) for the rest of the day and it is obligatory that he makes up the fast for that day. If this occurs in other
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than Ramadhaan, then his fast is nullified but it is not obligatory for him to refrain. However, if his fast was that which was obligatory upon him, then it is obligatory he make up that day. If the fast was supererogatory (naafilah), then he doesn't have to make it up. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Fataawa Ramadhaan - Volume 2, Page 454, Fatwa No.383 Kissing does not nullify ablution Question: My husband always kisses me when he is leaving the house, even if he is leaving to the prayer in the mosque. Sometimes, I feel that he is kissing me in a lustful manner. What is the ruling concerning his ablution in that case? Response: 'Aa.ishah narrated that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) kissed one of his wives and then went to pray without making ablution. This hadeeth clarifies the question of touching or kissing a woman: does that nullify ablution or not? The scholars have different opinions on this point. Some scholars say that it nullifies ablution in all cases- if one touches a woman it nullifies his ablution in all cases. Some say that if he touches a woman in a lustful way it nullifies ablution; otherwise, it does not. Some others say that it does not invalidate ablution in any case. This last opinion is the strongest opinion. That is, if a man kisses, touches or embraces his wife and he does not ejaculate or release any fluid, then his ablution is not ruined nor is hers. This is because the principle is that his ablution continues to be valid until there is some evidence that it has been nullified. There is no evidence, either in the Qur.aan or the Sunnah, to show that touching a woman invalidates ablution. Based on that, if a person touches a woman even without anything between their skins and even if in a lustful manner or a kiss or hug, all of that does not nullify the ablution. Allaah knows best. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Fatwa Title : Oral sex with wives Fatwa No. 4503 Question : What does the Shari'a say about oral sex? Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. The husband and the wife can both of them enjoy each others body. Allah says: {They (your wives) are body cover for you and you are the same for them.} [1:86]. Allah also says: {Your wives are a tilth for you so go to your tilth when and how you will.} [1:123]. However, one should put the following two conditions into consideration: First, he should avoid what is made unlawful by the Islamic law: A). Making love with the wife in her anus which is a major sin and a sort of homosexuality. B). Making love with your wife in her vagina but during her menstruation period, because Allah says: {Keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified} [1:222]. What is meant here is having sex with them. The same rule is true for the confinement period till the blood stops and the woman takes a bath. Second, one should make sure that the manner in which he makes sex is conform to the Islamic ethics, which are the best morals. As for what you mentioned, i.e. sucking, licking or oral sex, there is no clear evidence from the Quran or Hadith concerning them. The scholars of Islam differed on this matter. Some believe that it is forbidden, others believe that it is lawful. Allah says: {Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth when or how you will}. [1:222]. This means in any manner that suits you both but in the place of the tilth which is the vagina. It does not mean anywhere and anyhow. There is a trace from the Prophet (Blessings and
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peace of Allah be upon him) and his companions that backs up this view. One should be cautious not to swallow some dirtiness, as the man might ejaculate in his wifes mouth. Allah says: {Truly Allah loves those who turn unto Him in repentance and those who purify themselves.} [1:222]. This means those who keep themselves above the dirty and the filthy things, which are the cause of forbidding the menstruation period and any part which is not the vagina. This kind of pleasure is far from the natural dispositions that Allah has created us with. Moreover, a tongue that supplicates Allah and reads the Quran should not also get in touch with those parts of the body which are a source of some impurity. And indeed what Allah has made lawful for us is enough for any normal person. And Allah knows best. Fatwa Title : Sexual relations for newly weds Fatwa No. 2289 Question : I 'm newly married and I would like to know how to do the Halal sexual relation step by step and what I should do. Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. We ask Almighty Allah to complete his blessing on you, and make your wife lucky for you and grant you both good pious offspring. When a person desires to make sex with his wife, he should say By the name of Allah, O Allah, protect us from Satan and keep the Satan away from what you bestow upon us. IBN ABBAS reported The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: When a person makes sex with his wife and recites this Du'a (supplication) , If Allah gives a baby, Satan will not harm him/her. When he meets his wife for the first time, he should put his hand on her head and recite. O! Allah, I ask from you her goodness and the goodness on which she is created, and I seek refuge with you from her badness, and from the badness on which she is created. You should know my dear brother that marriage is a tremendous sign of Allah, Allah says: (interpretation of the meaning): " And among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (Hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect.You should know that your wife has some rights over you, you must fulfill them before you ask your rights from her, Allah says: (interpretation of the meaning): And they women have rights (over their husbands) Similarly (to those of their husbands) over them, to what is reasonable, but men have a degree ( of responsibility) over them .You should live with her with good manners, and deal with her, as you like her to deal with yourself. Allah says: (interpretation of the meaning): " And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of goodness. And The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: A believer man should not hate a believer woman, if he dislikes a quality of her, he may be pleased with another . We seek Allah to perpetuate your happiness and make your marriage full of joy. Allah knows best. My husband sucks my breasts like a baby *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: I married the son of my maternal uncle, and I love him and he loves me. Only six months have passed since we got married, and everytime we go to sleep he grabs hold of me and begins sucking my breasts like a baby, so I said to him: "This is wrong!". However, he did not stop and I did not try to make it difficult for him.

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Response: There is no harm in this, because it is for the married couple to enjoy themselves with each other in other than that which Allaah has prohibited. This includes sexual intercourse in (her) anus or sexual intercourse whilst she is on her menses or in the state of post partum bleeding or in an act of worship within which sexual intercourse is haraam, or when he has pronounced his wife haraam upon himself until he pays a kaffaarah, and similar to these from those known aspects according to the people of knowledge where sexual intercourse is haraam and in it entails harm for the married couple. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Fataawa az-Zawaaj wa 'Ishratun-Nisaa. - Question 79, Page 109 Fatwa Title : Sucking wife's breast Fatwa No. 13151 Question : Is sucking a wife's breast Halal or not? Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and may His blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. A husband can enjoy sex with his wife as he likes, but he must avoid having sex in her anus and during her menstruation period. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {They ask you concerning menstruation. Say: that is an Adha (a harmful thing for a husband to have a sexual intercourse with his wife while she is having her menses), therefore keep away from women during menses and go not unto them till they have purified (from menses and have taken a bath). }[2:222]. The Prophet (Sallallahu Alaihi wa Sallam) said: "Cursed is any man who has anal intercourse with his wife". [Ahmad, Abu Dawood and al-Nasaee] Therefore, it is permissible to do what was asked about. In the case of drinking the wife's milk, it has no effect on the marital life. The majority of the Muslim scholars are of the opinion that drinking by an older person, i.e. after the age of two years does not change any rule. Even though it is safer to avoid such practice. Allah knows bes Having sexual intercourse with the wife whilst she is pregnant *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: Is it permissible to have sexual intercourse with the wife whilst she is pregnant? And is there any evidence in the Qur.aan and the Sunnah which indicates a permissibility or impermissibility for this? Response: It is permissible for the man to have sexual iintercourse with his wife whilst she is pregnant, as Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says: {Your wives are a tilth for you...}, [Soorah al-Baqarah, Aayah 223] And the evidence is His (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) saying: {And those who guard their chastity. Except from their wives or that their right hands possess...}, [Soorah al-Mu.minoon, Aayah 5-6]

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So the statement {Except from their wives} implies the basis for a man seeking satisfaction from his wife is permissible in all cases. However, that which occurs in the Qur.aan and the Sunnah in terms of an obligation to keep away from the woman is a general prohibition, so it is not necessary to seek evidence as to the permissibility of sexual intercourse with a pregnant wife, since the basis is permissibility. And it is not permissible for a man to have sexual intercourse with his wife via her vagina when she is on her menses, however, it is (permissible) for him to seek enjoyment with her in everything other than the vagina. And it is not permissibile for him to penetrate her in her anus because that is the place of excrement and filth. And it is not permissible for him to have sexual intercourse with her if she is in the state of post partum bleeding. However, if she is in a state of purity from her menses and post partum bleeding, then it is (permissible) for him to have sexual intercourse with her, even if she becomes pure from her post partum bleeding before the completion of 40 days. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Fataawa az-Zawaaj wa 'Ishratun-Nisaa. - Question 73, Page 104 Is the marriage contracting valid if the woman is menstruating? Question: I am a young woman who finalised my marriage contract with a young man some time ago. It happened that it occurred on a day in which I was having my menses. I did not agree to the contract until I asked the official about this matter and he said that such a marriage is valid and legal. However, I am not satisfied with that contract. I want you to help me by telling me if that contract was correct or not? Is it a must that I repeat the contract at a time when I am not on my menses? Response: Performing a marriage contract with a woman while she is menstruating is permissible and valid. There is no harm in it. The basic ruling concerning contracts is that of permissibility and legality unless there is evidence to show that it is not allowed. There is no evidence to show that one may not finalize a marriage contract while the woman is menstruating. Therefore, the aforementioned contract is sound. There is no harm in it. One must also understand and know the difference between the marriage contract and divorce. Divorce is not permissible while the woman is menstruating. In fact, it is forbidden. The Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) became angry when it reached him that Abdullaah ibn Umar ibn al-Khattaab had divorced his wife while she was menstruating. The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) ordered that he go back to her and not touch her until she became pure, had her menses again and then became pure again. Then he could afterwards remain with her or divorce her. Furthermore, Allaah has stated: {O Prophet! When you divorce women, divorce them at their prescribed periods (iddah) and count (accurately) their periods. And fear Allaah your Lord. And turn them not out of their [husband's] homes, nor shall they [themselves] leave, except in cases where they are guilty of open illegal sexual intercourse. Those are the set limits of Allaah. Whosoever transgresses the set limits of Allaah, then indeed he has wronged himself}, [Soorah at-Talaaq, Aayah 1].

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So it is not allowed for a man to divorce his wife while she is menstruating. He also cannot divorce her during a time of purity in which they had had sexual intercourse, unless it is clear that she is pregnant. If it is clear that she is pregnant, he may divorce her whenever he wishes and that divorce will take effect. It is very strange that among the masses there is a common misconception that a divorce stated while the woman is pregnant does not take effect. This is not correct. The divorce of a pregnant woman does take effect. In fact, the rules are more liberal concerning it. For example, it is permissible for a man to divorce his pregnant wife even if he had just recently had sexual intercourse with her. This is not so for woman who is not known to be pregnant. If he has intercourse with her, he must wait until her next menses and their finishing or it becomes clear that she is pregnant before he pronounces divorce. In Soorah at-Talaaq, Allaah states: {For those who are pregnant, their waiting period is until they deliver}, [Soorah at-Talaaq, Aayah 4]. This is a clear indication that such a divorce does take effect. Furthermore, in some of the hadeeth of ibn Umar, it is narrated that the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said: ((Order him to return to his wife and then divorce her when she is pure [of her menses] or she is pregnant)). If it is clear that the marriage contract done while the woman is menstruating is a sound marriage contract, I still feel that the man should not enter upon the woman [be with her alone] until her menses come to an end. This is because if he does join her before she becomes pure, it is feared that he may engage in an act which is forbidden while she is menstruating, especially if he is not able to control himself. Especially if he is a young man, he should wait until she becomes pure, at a time when he is able to enjoy her company by sexual intercourse. Allaah knows best. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Is wife required to pay kaffaarah if she had sexual intercourse with her husband during the day in Ramadhaan *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: A man had sexual intercourse with his wife during the day in Ramadhaan and (as such) he has fasted the penalty (kaffaarah) of two months consecutively. So, is there anything required of his wife or not? May Allaah reward you. Response: In the name of Allaah and all Praise is for Allaah (alone). That which is required of her is similar to that which was required of him (her husband) if she willfully consented and was not forced. If it is difficult for her (to fast two consecutive months), then she may feed sixty poor and needy people the amount of half a saa' per poor and needy person. However, if she was coerced with force and severe beating, nothing is required of her. Rather, the sin is (solely) upon him (her husband). If she was complacent with him, then she is required to pay the penalty (kaffaarah) similar to him - like for like. Shaykh Ibn Baaz Fataawa Ramadhaan - Volume 2, Page 610, Fatwa No.605 Majmoo' Fataawa libni Baaz - Volume 3, Page 200

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Husband prevents wife from going to her parent's house *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: What is the ruling about the man who prevents his wife from going to her parent's house if they cause problems and interfere in their married life? What is the least that is required for the wife to maintain her family ties? Is it enough to write (letters) and call (telephone) only? Response: Yes, the man has the right to prevent his wife from going to her parent's house if doing so results in badly affecting her religion or the rights of her husband. This is because preventing her from going to them in these circumstances is prevention against (these) bad effects. It is possible for the woman to contact her parents without going to them in these circumstances, such as by way of (writing) letters or calling them by telephone, if by doing so does not result in any danger. As He (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) said: {So keep your duty to Allaah and fear Him as much as you can}, [Soorah at-Taghaabun, Aayah 16]. And Allaah knows Best. There is a severe warning to the one who interferes in the wife's upholding of her husand's rights and turns her against him. It is mentioned in a hadeeth: ((Cursed are those who turn the woman against her husband)), [Abu Dawood], ...and it's meaning is badly affecting her behaviour towards him and causing disobedience towards him. And it is obligatory for the family of the wife to take care and encourage the good relations between her and her husband because that is in her interests and their interests. Shaykh Ibn al-Fowzaan al-Muntaqaa min Fataawa Fadheelatush-Shaykh Saalih Ibn Fowzaan - Volume 3, Page 246, Fatwa No. 372 Having sex in marriage after child birth Fatwa No. 3501 Question : Please help me. My wife had a baby 3 weeks ago. She and I were playing together, and we had sex. I know in Islam that is not allowed until after 40 days. I have made a big mistake. Tell me what to do and how to repay Allah for my sin. Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. All Muslim scholars agree upon the fact that it is forbidden to make sex with the confined woman before she has completely stopped bleeding. The blood could stop before the forty days, which a woman should spend after giving birth without her husband having sex with her. In this case, she should purify herself and pray. But her husband has better, not to have sex with her before she completes the forty days. If you have had sex with her before the blood stopped, you should repent and ask Allah for forgiveness from this sin. There are different views about the expiation. Imam Ahmad said it was obligatory for Ibn Abbas Hadith from Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) concerning the man who makes sex with his wife while she is in her menstruation period. He said: He should give a dinar or half a dinar as alms. Narrated by the five (scholars of Hadith) and made sound by al-Hakem.
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Imam Ahmad said: How nice and good a Hadith. Some body asked him: Will you go for it?. He replied: yes. There is no doubt that giving this expiation, which equals four grams of gold or two grams or their equivalent, is better and more secure. If you have had sex with her after the blood had stopped but before she completed the forty days you havent done the best but you are not obliged to pay the expiation. And Allah knows best. Sexual relations for newly weds Fatwa No. 2289 Question : I 'm newly married and I would like to know how to do the Halal sexual relation step by step and what I should do. Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. We ask Almighty Allah to complete his blessing on you, and make your wife lucky for you and grant you both good pious offspring. When a person desires to make sex with his wife, he should say By the name of Allah, O Allah, protect us from Satan and keep the Satan away from what you bestow upon us. IBN ABBAS reported The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: When a person makes sex with his wife and recites this Du'a (supplication) , If Allah gives a baby, Satan will not harm him/her. When he meets his wife for the first time, he should put his hand on her head and recite. O! Allah, I ask from you her goodness and the goodness on which she is created, and I seek refuge with you from her badness, and from the badness on which she is created. You should know my dear brother that marriage is a tremendous sign of Allah, Allah says: (interpretation of the meaning): " And among his signs is this, that he created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquillity with them, and He has put love and mercy between your (Hearts): verily in that are signs for those who reflect.You should know that your wife has some rights over you, you must fulfill them before you ask your rights from her, Allah says: (interpretation of the meaning): And they women have rights (over their husbands) Similarly (to those of their husbands) over them, to what is reasonable, but men have a degree ( of responsibility) over them .You should live with her with good manners, and deal with her, as you like her to deal with yourself. Allah says: (interpretation of the meaning): " And live with them honorably. If you dislike them, it may be that you dislike a thing and Allah brings through it a great deal of goodness. And The Prophet Muhammad (Blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) said: A believer man should not hate a believer woman, if he dislikes a quality of her, he may be pleased with another . We seek Allah to perpetuate your happiness and make your marriage full of joy. Allah knows best Marriage to girl after Zina Fatwa No. 149 Question : Is it permissible to get married to a girl with whom one has had Zina(fornication)? Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. Any one who commits Zina (adultery/fornication) with a woman should make sincere repentance. After doing so, if he wants to marry this woman, he cannot do so until she also turns to Allah in repentance and her period of "Iddah" comes to an end. In this case her "Iddah" may be up to three months (from one to three according to various opinions) or until the birth of the child if she is pregnant. This period of waiting is legislated because the sperm from the act of Zina is considered Haram, disrespected, dishonorable and should not be mixed with the Halal, legal, honorable and
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respected fluid discharged during marriage. The issue of when the pregnancy occurs is important because all scholars agree that the child born from illegal inter course (Zina) cannot be traced to the father. Other scholars however say that waiting is not compulsory for such a woman to make certain that she is not pregnant, if she desires to marry the man with whom she committed Zina. They base their opinion on a narration that in the time of Abu Bakr Al-Siddiq a couple committed Zina and he whipped them both one hundred times and married them at the same place. Ibn Abbas said in this concern: "Its beginning is Zina and ending is marriage." The predominant opinion according to Shariah however is the first one, so that the child born of Zina is not traced falsely to the wrong person. Allah knows best. Marriage to pregnant from Zina Fatwa No. 12947 Question : If a man a woman commit adultery or fornication and she becomes pregnant, if they marry while she is pregnant is that marriage valid? If not, what should they do now? And what rights does that child have on the man? Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. If one commits Zina (illegal sex) with a woman and she becomes pregnant, then it is forbidden for him to marry her except with two conditions. First, they both must make sincere repentance. Second, marrying her is permissible only after she gives birth, since mixing the sperm of marriage with the sperm of Zina is forbidden. The Prophet said: "A pregnant woman will not be copulated with till she gives birth". [Abu Dawood, al-Hakim and he grades it as Sahih] If one marries the woman who became pregnant after having illegal sex with him before giving birth, then the marriage is invalid. Therefore, the marriage contract has to be renewed in the presence of her guardian and two trustworthy witnesses. If they do not renew the marriage contract, then, having sexual intercourse with each other is considered Zina. As for the child of Zina, it takes its mother's name (only) and inherits from her and if it is a male, he is considered Mahram for her. However, the child does not have any legal relation with his biological father. If this man and woman are married according to Sharia, the child would become the man's stepson/or stepdaughter, and the ruling pertaining to stepchildren applies. Allah knows best. Many concerns about getting married Fatwa No. 11902 Question : I think the information presented in Islamweb is both valuable and interesting. I am 27 years of age, male, working abroad as a computer engineer. Currently I am continually thinking of getting married, but I have ideas or questions. I would appreciate your opinion. In general the thought of being married is a scary one for the following reasons: 1) Marriage is a commitment and will delay my progress. 2. I can not bear the idea of marrying someone who will not love me. 3. Because I am working in a foreign company I am surrounded by beautiful non-Muslim colleagues I try very hard not to fall, so I fast and pray but that does not keep me from feeling alone. 4. There is some type of medicine / herb used to reduce sexual desires. Is this allowable in Islam? If I can be without strong distraction I can very well be at my best.
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5. Finding the correct girl through the Internet is not a good idea because first a person may receive many replies and can't decide which to choose and second ones sending their origin and photo are replied to most! 6. If getting married is completing half the religion is it possible to marry and not have children by both partners agreeing on this. And if a person is divorced must he marry again to have the other half? 7. I never committed Zina and only know basics of treating a girl, I am thinking I would list points of my/her responsibilities and see if it negotiable. Is this a good idea? Finally, I thank you very much for your time and I would appreciate your reply as soon as possible just to relax and sort things out. Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the World; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. 1. Allah Subhanahu Wa Tala legislated the marriage for many benefits that can not be achieved otherwise. Among these benefits are the Halal way for men and women to satisfy their sexual needs to establish and maintain the progeny of human beings, and to populate and develop the world. Allah also places affection and mercy between a husband and a wife; He Says (interpretation of meaning): {And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. }[30:21]. Therefore, we advise you to marry, seeking the Blessings of Allah and following the instructions of the Prophet who said: "O young people! Whoever among you can marry, should marry, because it helps him lower his gaze and guard his modesty (i.e. his private parts from committing illegal sexual intercourse etc.), and whoever is not able to marry, should fast, as fasting diminishes his sexual power." [Reported by Imam Bukhari] So, try to marry a religious, loving woman who may be very prolific as the Prophet recommended Muslims. No doubt marriage is a responsibility and obligation but whoever marries to keep himself chaste and to avoid Haram marriage will help him advance and achieve progress in his life. As Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {and whosoever fears Allh and keeps his duty to Him, He will make his matter easy for him. }[65:4]. 2. Affection and love are recommended between a husband and a wife. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. }[30:21]. The Prophet said: "Marry a religious and affectionate girl". [Abu Dawood, Nasaee]. The love and affection are achieved through marrying a religious partner. The Prophet said: "A man marries a woman for four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her piety. Select the pious, so you may be blessed" [Bukhari and Muslim]. The Prophet also said: "If a man whose religion and morals are satisfactory from your point of view offers to marry one of your women, you should accept his offer otherwise a tumult and a great perversion will take place on earth." [Narrated by al-Tirmizi] Looking at the fiance or fiancee before marriage also helps strengthen the affection between the couple after marriage. The Prophet said to a man who has proposed to a woman: "Look at her, this could be more appropriate for bridging between you". However, the concept of love in present days such as having close relation with each other, going out, being in seclusion and exchanging the loving expressions, etc., is actually from Satan who desires to push human beings to commit Zina as he succeeded with many of them. Therefore, all these illicit relations have only bad consequences for both the man and the woman. As for your theird and fourth question please read the Fatawa: 11685.

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5. Searching for a wife through the Internet is not a suitable way as you mentioned, for the following reasons: a) As you said you could be overwhelmed by proposals. Thus, you may fail to make a proper decision, to find a suitable girl. b) It is not easy to find the truth through Internet. It is very possible that a woman/girl may cover her shortcomings, and provide false information, etc. In addition, generally a man and a woman do not maintain legal limits in this kind of contact: they exchange their pictures as well as, imprudent expressions, etc. In fact, this practice is also Satanic, not permissible in Islamic Shariah. The ideal way to marry is to seek a pious lady with good conduct and enquire about her from reliable persons and then ask her parents to marry her to you. If they agree to your proposal then look at her and proceed to marry with the Help of Allah. 6. Among the many objectives of marriage is maintaining the progeny of human beings and increasing the Muslims. The Prophet said: "Marry women who are loving and very prolific, for I shall be happy to see you outnumber other people on The Day of Judgement". [Abu Dawood and al-Nasaee] Therefore, preventing pregnancy permanently is not permissible even if the couple agree to do so. It may be permitted only if there is dire necessity. As for temporarily preventing pregnancy, it is permissible provided there is no harm in it and provided ones Awrah is not exposed to anybody (doctors, nurses) other than the husband. 7. Imam Tabrani in his book al-Awsat reported from Anas that the Prophet said: "Whoever marries he completes his half religion and then he should fear Allah in the remaining half of his religion". Sheikh al-Albani grades it as Hasan. Marriage is considered half of the religion because usually a married person remains chaste, avoids Zina and stays away from illegal sexual thoughts, etc. Therefore, anyone who has divorced his wife should marry again. 8. Finally we ask Allah to help you and us fulfill our obligations to Him, grant you and us the goodness in our lives and make all of us steadfast on His path. As for listing each other's responsibilities and to negotiating them, it is possible if you believe that it is useful with your future wife since you know yourselves better than anyone else. We ask Allah to help you, make all your matters easy for you and grant you what is good. Allah knows best. A woman takes money from her husband without his knowledge Question: My husband does not give me my expenses, neither for me nor for my children. Sometimes, we take money from him without his knowledge. Is there any sin upon us? Response: It is allowed for a woman to take wealth from her husband without his knowledge to meet her and her children's needs if he is not giving them what they are customarily entitled to. She must take the money without extravagance or waste if he does not give her what suffices her. This is based on what is recorded in Saheeh al-Bukhaaree and Saheeh Muslim from 'Aa.ishah who stated that Hind bint 'Utbah came to the Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) and said: ((O Messenger of Allaah (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam), Abu Sufyaan does not give me what is sufficient for me or for my children)). The Prophet (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said: ((Take from his wealth according to what is right and good which will suffice you and your child)). Shaikh Ibn Baaz
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Breast feeding after menopause is treated the same as breast feeding in earlier years Question: What is the ruling concerning a woman who has reached the age of menopause and she breast feeds a child five sucklings or more during the first two years of that child's life. Does this breast feeding make them illegal for each other [and all the other ramifications], giving him a foster father even though the breast feeding woman may be without a husband? Response: Breast feeding makes forbidden what blood relations make forbidden. Therefore, the breast feeding mentioned in the question, five sucklings in the first two years, makes the woman a [breast feeding] mother to that child due to that breast feeding. This is based on the generality of the Qur.aanic verse, {[Forbidden to you for marriage are] your foster mother who gave you suck}, [Soorah an-Nisaa., Aayah 23]. Even if the milk was produced after she reached the age of menopause, the ruling is the same. If that woman was married, the child would be her [foster] child and the son of the one whom the milk is ascribed to. If she was not married, perhaps she was not married and produced milk, then she is the [foster] mother of that child and he has no foster father. Do not consider it strange that one may have a milking mother and not a foster father. Also, do not consider it strange that one may have a foster father but no foster mother. An example of the first case is where a woman gave two sucklings to a child, the milk that was the result of her first husband. Then she separated from that husband and married another after her waiting period expired. She becomes pregnant and has a child from the second husband. She then suckles her foster child again for the remainder of the suckling amount [with the milk that is the result of a child with the second husband]. She now has become that child's foster mother due to the five sucklings but he has no foster father because he did not suckle at least five sucklings that were the result of one man with the woman. As for the second case, this is where the child has a foster father but no foster mother . An example is where a man has two wives. One of them suckles the child twice and the other suckles the child three times. In that case, he will be a foster child of the husband since he was breast fed over five times from milk that was the result of intercourse with him. But he will not have a foster mother because neither the first nor the second woman suckled him the minimum amount of times required. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Husband and wife looking at each others bodies *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: Is it permissible, according to the Sharee'ah, for a woman to look at the entire body of her husband, and for him to look at her with the intention of seeking enjoyment in that which is halaal? Response: It is permissible for a woman to look at the entire body of her husband, and it is permissible for the husband to look at the entire body of his wife without going into much detail (here), as Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says: {And those who guard their chastity. Except from their wives or that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame. But whoever seeks beyond that, then those are the transgressors}, [Soorah al-Mu.minoon, Aayah 5-7] Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Fataawa az-Zawaaj wa 'Ishratun-Nisaa. - Question 80, Page 110
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Husband calls his wife to bed, but she is ill and unable to respond to his call *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: Does the woman fall into sin if she refuses her husband when he calls her (to his bed) if she is suffering from a fleeting mental lapse, or she is ill and suffering from pain? Response: It is obligatory upon the woman to respond to her husband if he calls her to his bed. However, if she is ill due to a mental lapse and is unable to face her husband, then in this situation it is not permissible for her husband to request her (to satisfy his (sexual) needs) as the Prophet (salAllaahu `alayhe wa sallam) said: ((There is to be no harm and no causing of harm)). And it is upon him to restrain himself and seek to satisfy (himself) with his wife in a manner which will not cause any harm (to her). Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen Fataawa az-Zawaaj wa 'Ishratun-Nisaa. - Question 72, Page 103 Husband jokingly says to his wife: "You are divorced!" *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: If a husband jokingly says to his wife: "You are divorced!", is she (thereby) divorced? Response: Whoever jokingly divorces, then his divorce is applicable so long as he intended a divorce. And if he was joking with his wife and said to her: "You are divorced!", then, by that, she is divorced. Indeed joking around in issues of divorce, nikaah and freeing a slave is a serious matter. So whoever undertakes the contract of nikaah and (then) says: "I was (only) joking", then this statement of his is not acceptable, because he undertook the contract (of nikaah) out of his own will, and (thereby) the marriage is confirmed. And likewise, whoever jokingly divorces, then his divorce is applicable so long as he intended a divorce. And if he was joking with his wife and said to her: "You are divorced!", then, by that, she is divorced. Therefore, we are of the opinion that it is upon a person to beware of these issues and not to play around with divorce. Shaykh Ibn 'Uthaymeen 'Ishratun-Nisaa wa Hill al-Khilaafaat az-Zowjiyyah - Page 201 Fataawa Noorun 'alad-Darb - Volume 2, Page 117

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Inferiority of women Fatwa No. 4292 Question : I am very confused about women's inferiority: it is said that women are equal to men in all their rights and are also allowed to compete with men in knowledge but the witness of two women is worth that of one man. Isn't the woman capable of performing the same witness? It is true that women are inferior physically, but there wouldn't be any men if there were no women. I heard Al Karadawi say once that men and women complete each other. Please enlighten me. Answer : Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds, and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. The condition of women in the world before Islam was very bad. Women were treated like slaves or property, their personal consent concerning anything related to their well being was considered unimportant. Women were used for one purpose, and then discarded. They had no independence, could own no property and were not allowed to inherit. Simply put, their condition was unspeakable. Islam gave the right for women and made them equal to men. Prophet (Peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: "Women are the second half of men". Islam considers a woman to be equal to a man as a human being and as his partner in this life, and raised her condition very much. The condition of women in western culture-most times-is not better. They try always to use women for only one purpose, to enjoy with her body, so they convince her to show her body and expose it to all people. But see what Almighty Allah Says about the relation between manand woman. Woman is place of relax for man, love and affection are the base of their relations. Allah says (interpretation of the meaning) "And among His Signs is this that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect." Allah (S.W.T) stated the coitus condition, he said: "They are (like) garments for you and you are (like) garments for them". Some people defame Islam and say that Islam does not honor the woman. They misunderstood the Prophet's (Blessings and Peace of Allah be upon him) saying: "O! Women folk! You should give charity and be diligent in seeking Allah's forgiveness, In spite of your lacking in wisdom and failing in religion, you are depriving the wisest of men of their intelligence". Upon this a woman asked: "What is the deficiency in our wisdom and in our religion? He replied, "Your lack of wisdom can be well judged from the fact that the evidence of two women is equal to that of a man. You do not offer Salah (prayer) for some days and you do not fast (during menstruation period), it is a deficiency in religion". In this narration, certain weaknesses of the female sex have been pointed out, which are natural to the woman's biology, psychology, and embryology. According to biologists, during and before menstruation, a female's thought process is affected, her pulse and blood pressure are also altered. Females are also more prone to hysteria, Dr. ROVAREEN wrote in encyclopeida: "The power of a muscle of a woman is one third weaker than that of a man. The heart of a woman is small and weak compared to the man's heart. Every woman's heart is 60 grams smaller than an average man's heart. Besides this, the grasping power of a man is more than that of a woman. You should know that when the Quran distinguishes between the witness of a male and female, it does not mean that there is a general rule in the Islam in witnessing, whereby a female is worth half a male. This condition is made only to ensure the fineness of witness as Islam also stipulates men to provide four witnesses in the case of adultery and accusations. Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): "You must call four witnesses on them". Allah Says (Interpretation of meaning): "And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever, they indeed are the Fasiqun (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah). The purpose is to ensure the accuracy of incident. There is no discrimination between men and women. There is no dishonoring of women in HADITH. But ther is astonishment in Hadith how the women overcome men? Although they are weaker than men. There are many fields in which Allah made the witness of a woman alone is enough in issues like menses, birth,
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women defects, suckling and other matters, men can not know it. Allah put off the prayers and fast from the woman during her menstrual period. This concession is actually a sign of blessing and mercy of Allah on woman because she faces many biological changes in this period. We seek Allah's help, blessing, mercy and His protection. Allah knows best.

The husband entering his wife's vagina from behind *Please appropriately reference this fatwa to: www.fatwa-online.com, thankyou!* Question: Is it permissible for a man to enter his wife (have sexual intercourse) in her vagina from behind? Response: All praise is for Allaah (alone). It is certainly permissible for the man to penetrate his wife in her vagina from behind, since this is the place of pregnancy, and it is for him to enter her (in her vagina) in any way (he pleases), as Allaah (Subhaanahu wa Ta'aala) says: {Your wives are a tilth for you, so go to your tilth, when or how you will...}, [Soorah al-Baqarah, Aayah 223] Shaikh Muhammad ibn Ibraaheem Fataawa az-Zawaaj wa 'Ishratun-Nisaa. - Question 75, Page 106 Wife's right to know husband's where abouts and time of return Fatwa No. 7189 Question: Does the wife have the right to know where the husband is and when he plans to return? Does the wife have the right to ASK where the husband is going or when he plans to return? For example, is it Islamically correct for the wife to be left alone day and night, without knowing where her husband is? Is a husband allowed to ignore his wife like this as a means of punishment if she has said something he does not like? Answer: Praise be to Allah, the Lord of the Worlds; and blessings and peace be upon our Prophet Muhammad and upon all his Family and Companions. A husband is not obliged to inform his wife about where he is going and when he will return home except when he is traveling. But it is desirable to inform her, especially if the matter is not related to the personal matters of others. It is not permissible for a husband to spend a night out of house leaving his wife alone, except if there is some benefit for his family or for the Ummah. But he should weigh these benefits as to preserve the rights of both the Ummah and the wife. If a wife does something wrong, the husband should exhort her and teach her Sharia. If this practice does not have any affect on her then he can leave her alone in bed only, but not leaving the house nor the room where she sleeps. On the other hand, a husband is not obliged to give a certain portion of his income to his wife, but it is desirable to give it to her as this is a kind act, and being kind to one's wife is recommended in Sharia. He is however, obliged to provide his wife with a suitable residence, food and clothes as good as he can afford taking into account the traditions of the people.

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No doubt, being generous with her is a desirable act, but he is not obliged to inform her of his income. So she is not supposed to ask him about it. But, there is no harm in asking him about his income and there is no harm in him informing her; in the case of not informing her she should not feel bad because every one keeps his own secrets. At the same time we advise every husband to inform his wife about whether his income is Halal and stable, or the amount (if it will not cause a problem for him) to assure her since a wife is always concerned about the future of her husband and her children. Know also that a wife is not obliged to spend on her husband or children, neither is she obliged to pay the house rent. Providing an accommodation is the absolute duty of a husband, so he has to pay the rent. If she wants to be kind with him and pay the rent of house, she can do so. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And give to the women (whom you marry) their Mahr (obligatory bridal money given by the husband to his wife at the time of marriage) with a good heart, but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, take it, and enjoy it without fear of any harm (as Allh has made it lawful). }[4:4] Moreover, a husband has no right over the earnings or possessions of his wife. They belong to her and they are her own right so he has no right to take anything from her without her permission and consent. But if it is common practice among them to use each other's money in the limits of general customs then it is permissible. If they have agreed that she will pay to him a certain amount for permitting her to work outside, then she has to fulfill her agreement. If a woman spends from her money to buy some household goods or gives her money to her husband it is considered as a gift and taking it back is forbidden. The Prophet said: "One who takes back his gift which he has already given is like a dog that swallows its vomit". If a husband cheats his wife to get her money by showing love and affection and after taking that he expresses his desire to divorce her, in this case she can take back what she has already given him according to the preponderant opinion of Muslim scholars. No doubt, a wife/husband is asked to beautify himself/herself. Showing love and affection, joking in good manners, talking lovely will help them in strengthening the relation and both of them are asked to do so. The Prophet taught both men and women to be neat, well-dressed, and clean. Ibn Masood said: "The Apostle of Allah (peace be upon him) observed: He who has in his heart the weight of a mustard seed of pride shall not enter Paradise. A person (amongst his hearers) said: Verily a person loves that his dress should be fine, and his shoes should be fine. He (the Prophet) remarked: Verily, Allah is Graceful and He loves Grace. Pride is disdaining the truth (out of self-conceit) and contempt for the people". [Reported by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim]. Jabir said: "We were with the Prophet in a Ghazwa, and when we reached (near Medina) and were going to enter it, the Prophet said, "Wait till you enter your home early in the night so that the lady whose hair is unkempt may comb her hair and that the lady whose husband has been away may shave her pubic hair."(Reported by Imam Bukhari and Imam Muslim) One may consider the order of Prophet that he did not permit them to enter Madinah till the women take care of themselves. A wife not taking care of herself (beauty) may be hated by her husband, which is disliked in Sharia. Aysha (May be Allah pleased with her) said: "The wife of Othman bin Mazun used to put henna on her hands and perfume herself then she gave up doing so. I asked her: "Is your husband here now or abroad?" She replied: "He is here but he is not interested in this life nor in women." Aysha said: "When the Prophet came I informed him about her matter." The Prophet met Othman and said to

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him: "O Othman do you believe in what we believe in?" He said: "Yes! O Prophet of Allah". Then He said: "Why do you not make us as your ideal?" From this Hadith we know that when Aysha saw this woman without adornment she asked her if her husband was abroad. This means that the pious women of our predecessors used to beautify themselves when their husbands are not abroad. No doubt, that most of time a woman is busy taking care of her children and her kitchen, but she should not ignore her make-up. A husband or a wife could request each other to be silent and use good expressions but each one of them should bear in mind that one should not use bad or insulting expressions which could hurt the feelings of the other person. Even when joking one should not practice something, which could hurt others. There are many evidences, which enjoin grandiose rights on each other. Allah Says (interpretation of meaning): {And say to My slaves (i.e. the true believers of Islmic Monotheism) that they should (only) say those words that are the best. (Because) Shaitn (Satan) verily, sows disagreements among them.} [17:53] Allah enjoins on the husband to treat his wife kindly. Allah says {And live with them honourably.} [4:19] The best ideal for Muslims is the life of the Prophet. He was very kind and patient with his wives. He used to play with them and make them laugh. He urged his companions to take care of their wives and play with them. He said addressing Jabir". Why did you not marry a young girl so that you may play with her and she with you?" (Bukhari). Aysha said: "I would drink when I was menstruating, then I would hand it (the vessel) to the Apostle (peace be upon him) and he would put his mouth where mine had been, and drink, and I would eat flesh from a bone when I was menstruating, then hand it over to the Apostle (peace be upon him) and he would put his mouth where mine had been". This is the way of life of the beloved Prophet. If we follow his style and manners in our conjugal life no doubt it will become a very happy life. Allah knows best. My Husband Does Not Satisfy Me in Bed: Can I Masturbate? Question: Dear scholars, As-Salamu `alaykum. I am a married woman. If my husband does not satisfy me in bed, is it permissible in Islam for me to masturbate and satisfy myself? He says he is satisfied and does not want to go to doctor. I have given up hope that he will ever accept the fact that he has got a problem, so I have found a solution to this by masturbating because I am very disturbed and in sexual need all the time. I know Islam does not allow masturbation, but what is the solution to my problem? At least I am not committing adultery. Jazakum Allah khayran. Answer: Wa `alaykum As-Salamu wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh. In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful. All praise and thanks are due to Allah, and peace and blessings be upon His Messenger. Dear sister in Islam, thanks for this question. We implore Allah to grant Muslim men and women chastity and high morality. May He Almighty protect them against their bad inner suggestions and the temptations of Satan, Amen. First of all, wed like to state that masturbation is generally considered forbidden in Islam since it is deemed to fall under the category of sexual satisfaction outside the framework of marriage. However, when it is the only choice instead of committing the major sin of Zina (fornication or adultery), one can resort to it without exaggeration bearing in mind that he/she should do his/her best to satisfy his/herself within marriage. So, the ruling on
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masturbation is governed by some considerations that might change the ruling from one person to another. Answering your question, Sheikh Ahmad Kutty, a senior lecturer and Islamic scholar at the Islamic Institute of Toronto, Ontario, Canada, states: "In Islam marriage is a partnership based on mutual rights and obligations. It is, therefore, important that both spouses try their best to be considerate and sensitive towards the needs and feelings of one another and do their best to satisfy each other within the bounds of Islam. Sexual fulfillment is an important part of the mutual obligations of husband and wife. Your husband definitely needs to be aware of his duty towards you in this respect, and take it seriously. Just as you have a duty to satisfy him, he is also obligated to satisfy you. Should he be suffering from a sexual dysfunction, he is required to seek professional advice in order for your marriage to be a happy one. If he cannot satisfy you through sexual intercourse, he is perfectly justified in satisfying you through other avenues; he could very well masturbate you; if he were to do this, he is working within the perfect limits of Islam; his doing it on you is different from you doing it on yourself. A person masturbating on himself/herself is not allowed in Islam except in dire necessity where one fears falling into adultery; marriage is intended in Islam to be a shield against that. So being married, you should never be forced into this option. If in spite of your best efforts to convince your husband, he still remains insensitive to your needs in this respect, you are justified in taking whatever steps are necessary in terminating your marriage, if you are unable to tolerate it. This is definitely one of the valid grounds for divorce in Islam. This can be inferred from the following incident reported in the authentic traditions; once a woman appeared before the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) and told him, I cannot find fault with my husband in matters of religion or character; but he is a total misfit (as far as sexual function is concerned). The Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) we are told, ordered a termination of the marriage." Excerpted, with slight modifications, from: www.islam.ca Husband demands wife suck his penis (oral sex) Question: One of the sisters is asking, saying that she is a practising young woman who got married six months ago. (She says) her husband demands she suck his penis, and she asks if this is permissible or not? Response: All praise is due to Allaah (alone). There is no doubt that (the request of) this practise from the husband of the questioner is a disgusting practise and obviously disliked. It also undermines the (good) manners between the husband and wife, and could possibly be a cause for (each partner) disliking (the other) and (leading to) separation (divorce). Aa.ishah (radhi-yallaahu 'anhaa) was one of the wives of the Messenger of Allaah (sal- Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam), and it has been narrated on her authority that: ((He (sal-Allaahu `alayhe wa sallam) did not see this of her and she did not see this of him)). (i.e. they did not see each others private parts, even though it is permisible). As regards the ruling about this, then the least that can be said about it is that it is disliked, and Allaah knows best. Shaykh Abdullaah ibn Munee Fataawa Muhimmah li-Nisaa. al-Ummah Page 154 Note: The basic ruling regarding the wife seeking pleasure of her husbands penis is that of permissibility, however, that which is feared is that this act may lead to possible oral intake of
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sperm or prostatic fluids. The Hanaabilah have indicated the permissibility of a wife kissing her husbands penis, as is mentioned in ((al-Insaaf)) of al-Maardeenee [Volume 8, Page 33], and this is the opinion of Ibn Aqeel and other than him. Also, Asbagh from the Maalikiyyah has indicated the permissibility of a man kissing his wifes vagina as is mentioned in ((Tafseer al-Qurtubee)) [Volume 12, Page 231]. The above quotation is excerpted with slight modifications from: http://www.fatwaonline. com

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