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THE ROAD LESS TRAVELED
A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth 
by M. Scott Peck, M.D.These pages are a summary of Dr. Peck
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s book that consist mostly of central statements of the various concepts. The page numbers refer to my particular copy of the book and may not be correct for other copies.This summary is not meant to be a substitute for the book but an encouragement to get one for your self. They are available on-line.William Shaffer2-9-10wjshaffer@cfl.rr.com
 
SECTION I DISCIPLINE
PROBLEMS AND PAIN p 15Life is filled with problems and pain. It takes discipline to deal with them. It is only because of the problems that we grow mentally and physically. Many people attempt to avoid problems and suffering instead of dealing with them. But there are tools to deal with them.DELAYING GRATIFICATION p 18This means to meet necessary pain first to get it over with and then experience the pleasure. “This is the only decent way to live.” Adolescents often don
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t get it.SINS OF THE FATHER p 21Some parents administer undisciplined discipline and thereby set their kids off wrong. Good discipline requires time and love. This will make them feel worthwhile and foster their self-discipline. .PROBLEM SOLVING AND TIME p 27Take the time to develop effective solutions. Problems usually don
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t go away of their own accord; it
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s best not to ignore them. Children often do not “grow out of it”RESPONSIBILITY p 32We must accept responsibility for a problem before we can solve it. NEUROSES AND CHARACTER DISORDERS p 35The neurotic assumes too much responsibility; the character disordered individual, not enough. The neurotic says, “I ought to”, “I should”. C.D. says, “I can
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t,” “I couldn
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t.”Big problem: to distinguish between what we are and what we are not responsible for. It takes self examination. Parents need to help kids in this. CD
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d people make poor parentsESCAPE FROM FREEDOM p 39Sometimes we refuse to take responsibility for a problem. We may give away our power to “fate,” “society,” government, corporation or boss.DEDICATION TO REALITY p 44Truth is reality The more clearly we see reality, the better we are able to deal with the world. Many people lack a good ”map” of the world because: (a) its difficult to make the
 
map or it is too small or incomplete. And the world is constantly changing. Since changing the map to match the new situations, many people will try to destroy the new reality.TRANSFERENCE: THE OUTDATED MAP p46Transference is the clinging to an outmoded view of reality and is the basis for much mental illness. One is using a childhood way of responding to the world after having become an adult (or assuming that all people are like your abusive or untrustworthy parents). “Truth or reality is avoided when painful. We can revise our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome that pain.” OPENNESS TO CHALLENGE p 51The process of constant self examination and contemplation is necessary for ultimate survival. “The only way we can be certain our map of reality is valid is to expose it to the criticism and challenge of other map-makers.” Accept--don
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t avoid challenge. We need to accept a life of complete honesty so that the words we say and the way we say them reflect the truth or reality as we know it. “The reason people lie is to avoid the pain of challenge and its consequences.... Lying is an attempt to circumvent legitimate suffering and hence is productive of mental illness.”WITHHOLDING TRUTH p 59 “Lying can be divided into two types: white lies and black lies. A black lie is a statement we make that we know is false.” White lies may be as destructive as black lies.“ A white lie is a statement that in not in itself false, but leaves out a significant part of the truth.”Parents often white-lie to their children to “protect” them, but such protection usually amount to deprivation, in that the kids don
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t learn the necessary realities of life. And they
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re also deprive of the assurance that might come from an open discussion of the“dangerous” topics. Selective withholding of insight or information may, at times, be appropriate. A decision to withhold the truth should never by based on personal needs but based entirely upon the needs of the person or organization from whom the truth is withheld--and to determine what these needs are is difficult and requires genuine love.“The energy required for self discipline and honesty is far less than the energy required for secretiveness.”BALANCING p 64“The type of discipline required to discipline discipline is what I call balancing...”For example, we need to balance how we express anger--to match the right time with right style of expression. “Mature mental health demands...an extraordinary capacity to flexibly strike and continually restrike a delicate balance between conflicting needs, goals, duties, responsibilities, directions, et cetra.” You may have to give up well established patterns of behavior to “travel very far on the journey of life.” Scott relates the story of a chess game he had with his daughter when he was so intent to win that he was insensitive to her needs.

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