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By Abby Humphries

Table of Contents
Pattern of Fate Photo by: Patrick Hoesley Start Again Photo by: Ian Alexander Norman Missing You Photo by: Karmalize Let Us Say Photo by: boklm Inexperienced Photo by: trekkyandy Jilted Photo by: @bastique You Listen Photo by: ~suchitra~ Shadows Photo by: dvs Methodology Photo by: MyLifeStory Supplicant Photo by: bohohara The Train Photo by: mjtmail (tiggy) Glisten Photo by: BuzzFarmers Hide Photo by: Pink Sherbet Photography Rain Photo by: aislinnv Night Life Photo by: ShefaAhsan Luminous Photo by: Thost Resident Value Photo by: meddygarnet Natural Photo by: _rockinfree Guitar Photo by: Jsome1 Porch Swing Photo by: ciamabue Hollow Photo by: Kathleen Tyler Conklin Sense Photo by: jumpinjimmyjava Cottage Photo by: Abby Humphries Riverbank Memories Photo by: Abby Humphries Ocean Photo by: Avery Studio Contempt Photo by: Madison Conventional Photo by: Tilemahos Efthimiadis Obligate Photo by: chriscom Therapy Photo by: EatsShootsEdits Swirl Photo by: Ali Arsh (On/Off) Lucky Photo by: Dan4th Strawberries Photo by: Fried Dough Over Pass Photo by: Richard Masoner / Cyclelicious The Creek Photo by: Abby Humphries Magnetize Photo by: Alyssa L. Miller Talent Photo by: peptic_ulcer Astonish Photo by: Patrick Hoesley Shock Photo by:borispumps Incorporate Photo by: toholio Nuance Photo by: TORLEY Teacher Photo by: Rob Ireton Lucky Girl Photo by: brown727 Salt Photo by: Tim simpson1 Timing Photo by: Fey Ilyas Too Much in Common Photo by:soelin Too Good Photo by:philosophygeek Legacy Photo by: kevin dooley Fell Apart Photo by: Mary_on_Flickr Marshmallow Photo by:ninahale Title Page Photo by: John-Morgan

Pattern of Fate

You are angered at the control That you no longer have Over your life, over anything You unravel in your anxiety Never knowing what to expect Never knowing what will come next You put your guess work Into your patch work Because you don't know how To fix your mistakes You don't know how Those mistakes were made All you know Is that you must be careful Is that you must be aware Of the pattern of fate

Start Again

I know that joy and sorrow Are never far apart Look forward to tomorrow And a fresh new start If only there was a way To make the wrong right If only there was a way To make the darkness bright If there was a way I'd find it I'd go back in time And rewind it The only way To get ahead Is to take your foot Off the brakes Accelerate Into the next town Where you can start again And maybe one of these days We can all start again

Missing You

I wish I could tell you How much I miss you How much I wish you were here I wish I could tell you How much I need you How much I miss being close to you How cold I am Without the heat of your body Without the softness of your skin Without the warmth of your touch I wish I could tell you How sorry I am That I could not wait Even after You asked me to wait Now there is nothing left To anticipate Except for your return

Let Us Say

Let us say What needs to be said What needs to be heard What needs to be known Let us say That we love one another That we appreciate The things we do for one another Let us say What we have in our hearts What we have on our minds And let us be understood And not become persecuted Let us say What we know to be true So that we can be true To ourselves To the ones we love To the ones we live our lives for


Your conscience cascading Spiralling towards the river All that you've known for many years Grew in your mind The seeds of knowledge You know you are inexperienced Your lack of familiarity Is exchanged for your sincerity The rewards are not important to you Because you seek a discreet recognition You don't want to be called a hero Because you don't have the strength to be one You can't always surrender with the white flag Sometimes you just have to raise your hands In your defence; For protection Sometimes the knives come out If only to spread jam On your morning toast


You leap from skyscrapers With your eyes closed As though there is no concept Of fear You plunge into the depths With no worry of resurfacing You do not stop To catch your breath You walk into the fire With no qualms of getting burnt You have been burned before By past lovers

They claimed that they'd stay At your side; At arm's length Where will they go? When they are in need? If they could forgive themselves Would you forgive them? If they knew how much it hurt Would you accept the pain? And still seek pleasure?

You Listen

You listen when they tell you That it's all inside your head You listen when they tell you That you have reasons To get out of bed You listen when they tell you You have so many reasons To live That you will get Only what you give You want to believe In everything they say You want to believe A real friend will stay And never Go away


How much time do we really have? If you knew the truth Would you be the same? If you knew the meaning of life Would you still have a name? The stars call for you And guide you home One after another Shining just for you The moon's solid laugh Rolls like thunder Echoing, Bouncing off one hill to the next

The night is silent and cold Unrelenting darkness empowers you It makes you feel invincible Because you made it through another night The shadows of the next day mock you As though they reach for you As a reminder of what awaits you They cannot see the real dangers They cannot feel the threat They cannot forget the past They cannot remember That there will be a future


The long days become longer The shortest time is what you get for yourself When you think that it's all over You must begin the routine once again Your effort goes unnoticed Due to the expectations you live by The work doesn't do itself There is no one to help you There is nothing to help you Get through You test every method To see if it works To see what works well In all your anticipation You seemed to overlook The necessary component That upon installation Will make it work Will fix the glitches And there will be No more headaches


How could I Put myself out there? I ask myself why I think I have the right When I never have the right Information For a complete confirmation Just standing in the face Of accusation The only thing I can do Is turn it all back on you I dont want to be The only Supplicant

Because I cant Be the only Supplicant You should supply The reason that I Should believe your lie The reason that I Should look you in the eye The reason that I Should believe That you are The right guy

The Train

The conductor Rings the bell Pulling out Of the station One way ticket To condemnation A one way ticket To hell I wish you well On your trip to hell Fire burning higher Flames burning hot How did you get here? Maybe you were caught. Maybe you werent taught.

That the Ignorant cannot Escape the heat The arrogant can rot They have never sought Redemption They know not That there is not An exemption Once youre down that track There is no coming back Unless you start giving back And making up For what you lack While you race down the hill In your potato sack When will you learn? When blue turns black?


You hear it When you listen You can see it Shine and glisten The tips of branches Like fingers Pointing to the sun Coated with ice Sun shining through Like gold Through silver You hear it When you listen The wind The crunch of the snow With every step Everywhere You go


I wish I could Hide From expectations From accusations I wish I could Hide From my fears From my tears I wish I could Hide There is nowhere To hide When I look On the inside Thats when I know That at least I tried


There is something About the rain Each drop Like a tear In my beer There is something About the rain Liquid renewal Grass smells Greener Air smells Cleaner Every rain drop Touching my skin

Collecting in my soul Cleansing from within Silk on water Wet on white The clear blue Of the sky Is hidden in darkness Like the light Reflecting In the water Collecting And sliding Down the glass The window That I look out Wanting to get out

Night Life

I used to like The night life The loud music People coming in And going out Revolving door Of my life As it was before The night life Used to be Like a fast car In the fast lane It used to be Like dancing in the rain And now Im alone, again


You light up my life With your luminosity You spice up my life With your curiosity You enrich my life With your generosity You make sense of my life With your sensitivity You shape my life With your creativity You take a role in my life With your hyperactivity You take hold of my life With your actuality You give direction to my life With your locality

You have shown me the time of my life With your punctuality You are the dream of my life With your sensuality You are the man of my life With your personality You are all that is right in my life With your sincerity


You cannot assign Value To Something beyond your own design You cannot appraise Something of sentiment That something that was meant To keep and cherish To never perish That which has no value Other than sentimental value


Natural is how I feel Close to you Natural is waking Next to you Natural is thinking Of how to Please you Natural is wanting To be the one who Is there to Comfort you When you Cant get through The times you

Get blue Natural is hoping Im the one who Gets to Love you The way you Want me to Love you Because you Are Natural


You play your guitar Like a rock and roll star But you have forgotten Who you really are? The apple never falls far From the tree And you know it Hard to find a peach Without A pit Get over it How can you forget? Where you came from? How did you really get; from Where you started from?

Everyone has a beginning They werent always winning Those familiar chords The start of a song The song of your life The song of your strife The struggle You still struggle Nobody can smuggle; success Or happiness We still progress If we want to: At natures pace You cant slip the ace Up your sleeve For the next game Or hide your shame

Porch Swing

I wish I could swing On your porch swing I could tell you anything And listen to the birds sing An afternoon last spring Ending our longing We all need love And a sense Of belonging I wish I could sit with you On that swing, on your porch The whole day through Even knowing The sun will scorch My shoulders Sometimes the sun stings Like wounds As they are healing The long lasting feeling Of needing oil Like a porch swing Of needing everything


Something inside Feels hollow Bit off more Than I can swallow Now I have A lump in my throat Like I have Paddles without a boat Sink or swim No time to float Theres a time To be proud No need to gloat Respect Is all I want To promote


To smell a rose The fine perfume Or apple blossoms Fragrant bloom To smell in the air The salt of the sea To know there isnt anywhere Youd rather be Watching the sun set At night Youre the only one I want to hold tight To taste your kiss As sweet as you are Always reminisce A memory A wish made On a star


There was a cottage On a river In my mind In my heart I remember It was left behind Of me, it was a part Every summer Of my hopes Of my childhood A peaceful slumber And in my dreams I wish I could Save that cottage Every summer All of my hopes Of my childhood They were sold When the cottage was sold Nowhere to go When I get old

Riverbank Memories

I used to sit in the sun Alongside the river Pull the weeds From the flower beds Pull the weeds From the riverbanks Pull the weeds From my soul From my life I used to dream in the sun Alongside the river Feeding the ducks Skipping stones Floating in the boat I used to live in the sun Alongside the river My teenaged years Flew by me

Like summer Fading into fall Bright red leaves Drifting on the water Underneath The bright green Dock At natures door We knock Natures splendours Serene Paced at Father Times Clock


I want to experience The ocean I want to see it To believe it I want to dive in it Pretend I live in it One day if I let it My heart will lead me To the sea I will be One with it And it will be One with me That will be The day I see The ocean I will experience The ocean And the ocean Will experience Me


Why couldnt the world Be exempt Of hate? And contempt? Why couldnt we be Honestly free? From slavery? To society To money Why couldnt I see? What was holding me? Back From what I wanted to be? Back From who I could be? Why couldnt it have been?

This way from the beginning? That would have been too easy Why couldnt we have seen? That we are all sinning? We would have been too guilty Why couldnt it be? What you want it to be Why couldnt it be? Less costly? Why couldnt you be? Sincerely, In love with me? Why couldnt you be? Close to me? Inside of me? Where you wish you could be


You think that Im conventional But I still have potential Im not that usual Kind of fling I am something All together Different You think all the girls are the same That kind of thinking Is to blame When you cant tame Yourself Like a kid In a candy store When you could have so much more Too much sugars Not good for you This sugars The only one for you If only you Can learn To be true


Loving me Doesnt mean I obligate you To sacrifice For me Loving me Doesnt mean Ill always lean On you Loving me Doesnt mean We have to be Joined at the hip Joined at the lip Loving me Doesnt mean I obligate you To do Anything You dont need to do I dont need you to do What I can do for you


Writing for me Is like therapy I can say what I want Without feeling guilty Writing for me Is a means of escape I can landscape A land of my own Writing for me Means comfort and relief Even if the release Is brief At least There is an opposite Of grief One day at a time A step closer To crossing the line But thats as far as I go Because we both know We all need Some kind of therapy


Swirl and spin Spin and swirl You thought I was Your kind of girl Cherry on top Sweet within Lemon drop Wink and grin Honey drizzle Cinnamon sizzle Vanilla ice cream Sugar plum dream Ginger and beer Like ginger Ale Licorice stripes On a tigers tail Vegetables quick Chicken grilled Pastries quick Pastries filled Desires fulfilled


Lady luck Sits by your side Lady luck Gave you a ride The ride of your life The night of your life You will never be denied Lady luck Has always tried To let you know There is never a run Of luck That doesnt run Out

That is what life Is all about Its only fear That feeds off Doubt Integrity is Paramount One for all All for the count You wont always be lucky But you can always count on me


The scent of wild berries Drifting in on a summer breeze The doe leaps over the fence Going after these Wild strawberries I see this magnificent Feminine beast With confidence To whom confidence Matters least Gazing with no worry Living; In no hurry

A startle And a flurry Of hoof beat On the ground At the slightest Sparkle Of a sound When I was the only one Around When I was the only one The doe had found

Over pass

I ran to the over pass Every night Sitting in the tall grass On the hillside Every night Just to wait And watch For the train to pass Up across the over pass To watch it pass And time pass With a bottle of booze in my hand Lying flat against the land Sifting through the sand

Slipping away Like the sand In an hour glass Then I hear the familiar cry Of the lonesome train passing by I am lonesome and I cry No matter how hard I try Ill never meet that special guy

The Creek

In the spring I go to the creek To take a little peak Nature repairing If nature can come back to life I can come back to life From all the winters of my life Flowers opening to the sun It shines for everyone It radiates Optimism Highlighting Branches In its glow Shining off water Melting the snow Ducks retuning To the flow When the geese start calling They will let you know Why it takes so much time It goes so slow


Under an unexpected guise You took me by surprise With your charm You magnetize Hold me captive With your eyes Wispy clouds Cotton ball skies The stronger the bonds The stronger the ties The stronger the love It never dies And nobody cries While they say their good-byes The stronger the love The stronger the heart It is like it was And the best part; It is like it was Right from the start A love so solid Right from the heart


Im not hell bent On proving my talent Thats not what I was meant To do Why do I have to prove Anything to you Anyway? Im not hell bent On asking where the money went As long as I can pay my rent And stifle the government Im not hell bent On divulging my intent Because I am misunderstood Running from my childhood Half ass-ed attempt With each kiss, you tempt me When I feel empty Im not hell bent On deciding for you I always knew You do what you want to do


I wanted to astonish I wanted to amaze I wanted to astound I wanted to daze I wanted to shock I gave my head a shave I wanted to show you That I could be brave I wanted to show you That Im not your slave Theres a new way That Im going to pave I render you speechless You dont know what to say It might have been a lie, anyway I hope you dont always stay The same I hope you dont always try To blame; Me I hope you dont always fan The flame Respectively


I was stunned I was shocked After all these years You had blocked All the memories That we shared I was a fool To think you cared I was in disarray I was in distress Additional stress To my dismay I suffered long Pain and anguish Sorrow and agony Grief and misery I got my wish; To get strong You need not worry About me I can get through this And any tragedy


Its not too late To anticipate A chance to Join together To amalgamate To be intimate Its not too late If youre considerate Emotions To integrate Do not hesitate To communicate To set a date Sugar soda Carbonate Rebel, Rebel Dont retaliate Against the world When you can negotiate Its up to you to facilitate Ideas to initiate Ideas to contemplate Add it to your plate


Shade blending into light Subtle tone and highlight A hint of blue A degree of green A touch of truth Like youve never seen Structure built A trace of desperation A tinge of guilt Drop of perspiration Inner wear Outer tear Space is air Heavenly impression Listen for a tone A dial tone Favour for the flavor Of the week Freshen my expression Exposing myself Like the sky exposes the sun Like anger exposes tension


You used to be my teacher But you still teach me As I reflect On the thoughts I used to have I could not be blamed I wasnt the only one You knew there were many I knew there were not any That had the chance Not on their life You were the only one I knew I could trust You helped me prepare For parenthood Now you prepare For parenthood With your wife I am happy For both of you I wish there was a reason For you to be Happy for me, Too

Lucky Girl

I remember when you told me That you were getting married I wanted you to be happy But I secretly Wished that I was the one Getting married Maybe when I met you The timing was wrong When you were already In too deep A love Maybe I was too Young for you Even though Ive been with a guy Older than you Maybe you were afraid Of what people would say Of hurting someone You loved, Youve been with for too long


You throw salt Over your shoulder At a restaurant For good luck A grain of salt Should accompany Any Negativity From anybody You want to put Salt On your food To enhance the flavor The natural taste Is all you need to savour You like to be The salt of the earth When you can never be Because you get carried away By the salt of the sea


I have figured it out Its about timing Such a cruel joke it is When you are in the wrong place At the wrong time I used to doubt That progress was possible That I could ever get Anywhere Because I always got Nowhere I have to have doubt Not enough to get discouraged Just enough to be Cautious and wary Of those who want to use me How can fate be an explanation? Of why things happened? The way that they happened? When they could have happened Differently?

Too Much in Common

I think we have too much In common Because you are the first guy I ever had as much In common With I find it funny That you remind me So much of me I wish I could be Good enough for you How could I be? So lucky? To be On your mind I find Myself Thinking of you, Too

Too Good

I dont know why I think you are too good For me I dont know why I think you are too good For anybody Maybe Because I want to be The one you see As you go down on one knee And propose to me I know that I could never be That lucky For you to Want to marry A girl like me I know that I could never be That lucky To be The kind of girl Anybody would want to marry


You told me That you want to live a legacy Because that is what they expect of you You told me That you want to live a legacy Because that is what they need you to do You told me That you want to live a legacy Carry on traditions For your family For generations You told me That you want to leave something behind For someone you care for For someone you love You told me That you cannot live up to The legacy Your grandfather left for you You can never fill his shoes You are your own man And you can if you choose

Fell Apart

You told me how Your world fell apart How your worst fears Had come true You told me how You felt When there was nothing You could do People leave when others arrive You have to tell those that you love Of your love When they are alive Just so they know Of your love When its time to go I wish I could go When you have to go I dont want you to go And leave me all alone You told me how Your life fell apart How a life was lost And you told me what it cost To fall apart


I could never toast A marshmallow Perfectly It would always burn Crispy Black I could never toast A marshmallow Perfectly It should have been Golden brown Lightly flame kissed

I could never toast An occasion Appropriately Because I would always be Hiding my jealousy Delicately Painfully It was not good for me One day I will get the chance To toast another marshmallow In the fireside glow

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