Day ( – 1) We are in Chicago talking about what the trip will be like and after talking to Father he told

me that I need to come up with some goals for my trip, so here they are. 1. To Understand that God created us for Love: -how to give love -And to receive love (What does this mean? What kind of love do I look for?) 2. To understand suffering and why it exists When you give of yourself, that is when you find yourself. Air Plane ride: learn a little Bengali What is your name? = Tomar namm Ki? I love you = Ami tomake bholo basi How are you? = Tumi Kamon aacho I am fine = Aami bhalo aachi Day 1 – Kolkata  Well we have now been here 12 hours and its starting to feel like home already. The flights went amazingly well and we even met this amazing man who told us about a really bad car accident he was in and how he was told he would never be able to walk again and how after trying everything, they went to a healing mass and the priest prayed over him and he had a miraculous recovery that no doctor could explain. It was so cool to see how open he was to sharing this story with us and kept with him pieces of paper detailing the miracle that he could pass onto people that he met. The airport in Kolkata may have been nicer than the one in Omaha and we got there at 5am so it wasn‟t crowded at all. The only thing different was there were guys carrying around machine guns. There were cute little yellow taxis that drove us to where we were staying. A lot of driving through this city reminds me of Haiti and how much I miss it. Driving down the road we saw some bigger buildings, but most had old paint jobs and looked like they were falling apart. I am wondering if this is where more of the middle class lives. There were colorful buildings all over the streets advertising all kinds of different things, a lot of jewelry and other things that many of these people can‟t afford. IT is sad to see how much even over there they push that material things and riches lead to happiness, even though we know that‟s not true. People have more to worry about than having perfect hair, and yet they see all these happy people on the ads and think that this will make them happy. The other thing I found really weird is that most of the people in this city are lower class and speak only Bengali and no English, and yet all of the billboards advertising expensive things are all in English. This seems to be a little elitist and like the upper class likes to separate themselves. Under the tall building were a bunch of piles of trash and blankets, except when you looked closer, it was people‟s houses and what they were sleeping under. It was sad to see, but to these people, it is just their daily lives. We are staying at a convent with the Nermala sisters. It is about fifteen minutes walk from the Missionaries of Charity Mother house where we will be working every day. Our rooms are actually not too bad. We have actual beds and there is a fan in the room and even a western toilet which is such a blessing.

Day 2 –  Thoughts of the day:  How could an all loving God allow someone to go to hell? o I guess one answer to this would be that he loves us so much that He allows us to make the choice of whether we want to be in Heaven with Him or not. He gives us free will to choose what we think will make us happy. We get the choice to decide if we will spend a life loving Him or loving things of this world. If we think that on earth what makes us happy is being separated from him, then He wouldn‟t force you to be with Him forever in eternity.   So what are the streets of Kolkata like up close? It‟s hard to compare them to Haiti because we were never really on the streets of Haiti, only drove through them. One word to describe them though is busy. I had been wondering what smell people had been warning me about, and then walking to Mother House (MH) I realized what it was. We walk through more of the poorer part of the neighborhood and it was just so dirty. There were buildings people lived in, but it very much looked like they were

falling apart. You could also see the little structures made of sticks and blankets and trash that some people were living in on the side of the road. The ground was covered in trash, and much of the road was made of trash. There appears to be no garbage system, when your “basket” gets full you just throw it outside on the street. The most disgusting part of this was that they would also throw their bags of feces onto the street as well because they didn‟t have toilets. There are cows, dogs, cats, and goats just roaming the streets doing their business where ever they please. It is so sad to see that people live in this kind of condition. They probably don‟t even realize how bad it is because this is how their life has always been. I had almost gotten used to the smell by the end of the day and the walk back home. I am not sure what it is doing for me health wise, but that‟s okay. The buildings look like they may have been nice once, but are now water stained and crumbling. I bet multiple families live in some of them. Crossing the road is another adventure. I thought I was an expert for crossing Lincoln streets, but its only day 2 and I am truly surprised no one has gotten hit yet. Cars are speeding by honking to let you know they are coming, honking to turn and honking to tell you to get out of the way; I think some just honk to honk. It is never quiet. There is hardly any traffic control and the animals here are skin and bones and really hard to look at.   What our daily routine will look like: So today was our first day at Mother House working, so we woke up nice and early at 5am and got ready. It is so nice to have getting ready consist of putting on clothes, contacts, brushing my teeth and being done instead of worrying about what I look like and what others may think. Mass was at 6 and was so beautiful this morning with the Missionaries of Charity (MCs). It reminded me of being in St. Louis with the MCs, so much is the exact same; the prayers, their reverence, and their love. It made me tear up being there and seeing all the sisters together loving Jesus and one another. It was evident that most of the girls joining the MCs are from India and other places close by. It is sad that in the west we have so many object that we couldn‟t part from as well as the negative opinion our society has built around religious life. After mass we went down to have breakfast with all of the volunteers. We got bread, bananas and chi tea, which was incredibly good. It was fun to see all the volunteers from all over; Chili, China, Germany, South America, and all over. I made friends with the lady from South Africa, she has been here for 4 months and will be here two more. She has kids and a husband back in South Africa, but says that she loves to volunteer and travel to help others. She was giving me all sorts of tips for being in India and is even joining the Catholic Church next Easter. After breakfast we headed out on our walk to Prem Dan. Prem Dan is a home for the sick, dying, and destitute. There are about 300 patients there, most of who can move around, though not very well and on the ladies side there are around 150, with about 10 who can‟t get out of bed. The walk there was through a different part of the city. I t was a little poorer, but I felt more confident walking through. It could have been also because that area probably gets walked through a lot by volunteers so they are used to seeing white people and don‟t give quite as many looks. When we seemed to get confused people who point us in the right direction to head. When we got to Prem Dan, the first thing we did was to do laundry. It was cool to see that they do it the exact same way as the MCs in St. Louis, so I felt like I fit right in. It was a giant assembly line of soaking over and over again and then ringing the clothes out and then carrying buckets up three flights of stairs to hang up on the roof. The ladies here who are doing most of the washing had no job or place to live so they come here and work and get food and shelter. Some of them also have medical issues and are patients, but get to work and gain some of their dignity back by feeling useful. This whole day feels like a blur. IT was very interesting to see the poor old ladies there. Hard to describe in words. They are all so fragile and their bodies are all crinkled up. So many of their hands are gripped in a fist and they can‟t move them. Many are around 3 ½ feet tall and for just about all of them, you can see their bones. It is like looking at a skeleton with skin. You can tell the women who have been there for a while because they look much more nourished. I noticed that the ladies in the wheel chairs who really can‟t move their dresses didn‟t have backs to them so that they can easily be lifted up and have a bucked placed under them if they need to use the restroom. Some of the ladies would just go in their normal chairs and in their dresses and the sisters would have to pull them across the floor to take them to the restroom and get them washed up. I sat with one lady and fed her and she kept trying to tell me that she was tired, but I didn‟t know what to do (we will call her Aja). Then sister came over and started to take off some of her bandages. She was applying this cream to her cuts so I just sat there and held her hand. The lady seemed so thankful that we were doing that and understanding. She would squeeze my hand and look at me, but then after sister left her and another lady kept saying they were tired, but I coul dn‟t put them to bed until after they had eaten their lunch. Another lady kept trying to tell me she wanted to get up, but she was tied to her chair, probably because she would fall out if she wasn‟t, but again I didn‟t know how to help her. I couldn‟t c ommunicate with her because we didn‟t speak the same language so I just kind of sad there shaking my head.

While it was hard to be there, it was not nearly as hard as it could have been, like it was in Haiti and seeing these things. I think part of it was because I knew these ladies were better off here getting the love of the sisters and the volunteers then being alone on the streets. Today showed me how much I have grown in the past year even when I feel like I haven‟ t in a while. I was surprised at how calm I was about getting yelled at for doing something wrong while washing the clothes or while feeding the ladies. I also wasn‟t really upset by not knowing what to do or the language barrier and lack of communication. It was something

that I had expected and I knew that it was just giving me a little humility. I like how Molly put it, “I questioned myself a s to why I was seeking the approval of the workers and was mad at myself for doing it wrong because I wanted them to think I was doing a good job. But I am not here to impress people; I am here to serve God.” It is currently 8:15pm and I am already falling asleep. … Well I got some good hours of sleep and judging by the Islamic call to prayer horn that just went off it is about 4:4 5am. I am sitting out on the little balcony next to our room and about 50 feet away is a guy sleeping on a mat outside and another in his taxi cab. It‟s amazing what people use for beds. But I will finish up. --After we came back from volunteering we got lost looking for a place to eat and ended up finding a really nice restaurant for lunch with a train in it (nice for Indian standards). There were like seven waiters around us at all times and would put the rice on our plates for us, it was a little much. I think it partially had to do with the fact that we were the only people in the whole place. For lunch we had rice, naan (really good bread) and some form of cooked vegetables in curry. It only cost about 4-6 US dollars a meal. We went back home and had a little rest time and then did a Holy Hour with the Missionary of Charity Fathers. It seemed that prayer was easier which could be because the whole day wasn‟t spent worrying about stupid things or drama or what people thought of me; which made my head clearer for prayer. (There are some pretty nice cars rolling down this street right now. We must be in a little nicer of a neighborhood. There were boys walking around with shopping bags. We were supposed to drink 5 liters of water a day, which is a lot especially when it‟s warm water, but I shouldn‟t complain because at least it‟s safe since it‟s bottled water. I need a straw. --Chi tea is very popular here and people drink it at all times of the day; it seems to replace coffee, making me like it even more. Dinner is always very simple, but that‟s okay because we had a good sized lunch. For dinner could have PB and J sandwiches, a form of potatoes, and bananas. Weirdly enough I have really been enjoying doing the dishes after dinner (my parents will be pleased) because it has given me time to talk with some of the sisters where we are staying. I hope I enjoy doing chores this much when I get home and go back to school, there is a difference though between doing things for helpless people and doing things for lazy people. Day 3 Wow, I can‟t believe I am actually here. I can‟t believe it‟s only been three days. I feel so at home and I feel like these people are almost my family. I am so glad that Becky and Sarah are on this trip with me. Sarah is so confident in herself and makes everyone die laughing, and it‟s amazing how much of a bond me and Becky share from being in the same sorority and experiencing some of the same things even though we are on different campuses. I really need to force myself to drink water. I forgot to mention registration yesterday. WE went to sign up for the rest of the month and where we would want to volunteer. While we were waiting for sister, the guys spent most of the time discussing the creation story and the church‟s teachings on it. I didn‟t really know for sure what I feel either way, but I like that John pointed out that the Church only gives opinions on matters that concern our salvation, so something like this is still up for discussion. --The other crazy thing was the information that they gave us about the people begging on the streets. The paper talked a lot about how many of the people come from nicer places to beg because it is an easy way to make m oney. But they don‟t want us teaching them that it‟s okay to do this job so they said that we shouldn‟t give them anything, especially if they are only asking for things from white people, then it‟s a scam for sure. It also said that some people will rent out children from poorer neighborhoods and bring them to the city to have them beg for money and then keep it for themselves. The advice was that if you are going to give someone something you should give them food and open the bag so they can‟t sell it back. They said that we should get rid of our water bottles so that people can‟t refill them up with unclean water and sell them. As long as tourists are smart enough to check the seal on the water bottles they should be okay. They also said that kids will try to butter you up by using English to get you to like them and give them things. There was a warning that we shouldn‟t touch the children affectionately and give them hugs because they lose the line of who is appropriate to touch and we don‟t want them learning that it is okay to give hugs from strangers especially if you give them things afterward because it teaches them to associate touching with getting things which could make it easier to get them into sex trafficking. This is all so sad and depressing that this still goes on so much in the world. We met a girl today who is a journalist for an anti sex trafficking group that helps to end it by making people aware of what is going on. IT is crazy so much of it goes on. She was saying that it‟s the 3rd or 4th largest industry here. So many women get into it and are forced to and will do anything for a little hope of getting to the city. Often they would get told that there were good job opportunities for them and this was their only way to help support their family, so they would go with them and then get stuck in this industry out of threat. At Prem Dan today, my high would have been being brought upstairs to paint the nails of a little crying girl. She was probably around 3 and kept crying even while I was painting her nails, but after the two older girls (who were like 13) showed me a book they had to help them learn English. Both were so excited to go through it and show me. They could read (more likely had memorized) the nursery rhyme in the book and I taught them how to play paddy cake and was

trying to teach them the sounds of the letters. A group of ten 14 or 15 year olds came up and were super cute with their nice dresses and cell phones and were all giggling. They could speak English and introduced themselves to me and we had a brief convo and when I got called to do laundry they even came with me to help and we sung twinkle twinkle little star. They were so beautiful and when we were done they went down stairs and chatted with the women in the home and gave them hand massages. I think they were here for Religion class; it is so wonderful that even though they are part of the privileged side of society they still come here and see the other side of life. For tomorrow I hope to improve my patience when I don‟t understand things and to have more compassion for those in our group who don‟t feel well and know that I would be just as miserable if I was the one feeling that way. My God moment for the day was when I was sitting with a lady at Prem Dan and I asked her name in Bengali and her face just lit up. It‟s amazing how you can show someone you care just by knowing their name. When I was done putting lotion on her dry cracked legs she put her hands on my head as if she was praying for me and it made me want to cry, she was so loving and thankful for such a little act. This could be part of what love means. To be thankful for even the small acts because you know they are doing it to try to help, even if they are doing it wrong. And to love, you do anything to make that person happy, you sacrifice your pride of always doing things right, in hopes of brightening their day. ? You love them no matter what and don‟t worry about their looks, their language, their uncleanliness or what they can do for you. You love them because we should love everyone. You can see the love they have in their hears, and that is what matters. I think these ladies are going to teach me a lot. We have been at Prem Dan a day and I feel like a vet helping everyone out. I still feel like I am learning a lot and still trying to figure out who gets what food and who needs help feeding. One lady I had to feed and she is so beautiful, but I didn‟t know if I was doing it right, like most of the time. I think it‟s hard because we so badly want to do it the way we want because we think we know whets right, even if we are wrong. It was hard talking to a lady from France who thought the nuns needed to modernize especially since she thought they had enough donations to do so. She didn‟t understand the sisters‟ love for the poor and desire to live like the poorest of the poor who don‟t have washing machines or ea sy ways to do everything. She also didn‟t understand that the sisters look at suffering way differently than most of the world. After the restaurant we went to a really cool pants store and I got a pair for 3$! They are pretty awesome, orange and one has elephants. --It‟s interesting; I just caught myself thinking of the Indian pants we got this afternoon and the shop that we were at. None of this was a problem yesterday, but adding even a little materialism to our day as taken away my center focus on God which is where I want it to be. Day 4 -Today started out with a little lag, it was slightly harder to get out of bed and during mass my mind seemed to keep wondering to other things, I would love for it to stop. Out group goal of this trip and our life goal is to become Christ like. The only way we can do this is sometimes by suffering, but always by dying to ourselves and giving our lives to God to do his will. This doesn‟t mean I actually have to die, what it means is that I need to love God so much that I am willing to sacrifice my own will for His. This sounds bad, but when you think of the fact that God is an all loving God, He wouldn‟t want anything but your happiness and he is an all knowing God so he would know the best way for you to reach that. So it would only make sense to follow his will because it will make us happier than we could try to figure life out ourselves. (Omg yes I just saw father drop off one of the sisters on his motorcycle; that is so cute) So anyways, the walk to PD was good. I really love the walk because it is so raw and up close. You get all the smells (not good) and see all the different shops. Many clothes shops. What we have discovered however, is that most of the stench of the city comes from the side of the road meat markets that they have. I can‟t say that I have ever seen so many live, dead, and skinned cows, chicken, and fish all in one place. Swimming lessons helped me out a lot with my ability to hold my breath as I walk by slabs of goat and cow meat hanging from hooks. It could easily make you lose your appetite. I am glad I don‟t ever eat right after this walk. PS, no wonder the rich here have big bellies, there is no way the naan we eat isn‟t coated is butter and oil. So not healthy for you. Anyways I just wasn‟t really at my normal spunk today. It was a little more low key and I wasn‟t moving as fast. I don‟t think I was upset or really annoyed, but just moving slower. I was worried it would be more of a down day, but I knew I was the only one who had a choice to try to make it better. Working with the ladies was a joy as always and really helped my mood. I really just wish I understood what they were saying. I sat with one lady for a while and I think tomorrow I am going to try to name more of them to have more of a personal relationship with them. It‟s just so hard because I can‟t pronounce any of them right and their sounds aren‟t the same. And then when I finally get it down I forget it five minutes later. I think I will carry around a piece of paper with me and write them down. Anyways, she is so cute and I cam e over to put lotion on her and she got so happy and started to kiss my cheeks and arms and it was so beautiful. To love someone even though they can‟t compliment you or communicate but simply for the smile. I sat with her and held her

hands for a while. They were having mass there today because it‟s Sunday, so that was awesome to see that many of the Indian workers went and some of the patients. It is cool to know that Jesus was around all these women and men. I walked up to one lady sitting in the back of mass and put my arms around her and she just collapsed into them and smiled. IT was such a great feeling that rushed through me. She looks as if she is mentally handicapped, but just so full of love. There is no greater thing than to share in Jesus‟ love with someone else. Truly a blessing for me, she loved me because I loved Jesus and wanted to share him with her. I felt closer to her without saying a word than most people I see and talk to on a daily basis. It‟s amazing what a friendship can be when Jesus is part of it. I also just got to restrenghten my bond with some of the ladies form the other day. I think we are really starting to build a friendship. The only problem is that I don‟t know their names. The big thing I remembered from today was after mass I wanted to pray in front of Mother Teresa‟s Tomb, but for some reason I wasn‟t going to, then others did so I followed them i n and it was so powerful. I was so moved by her love for others and how I want that love to share with others. Whenever there is silence around me, by day or by nightI am startled by a cry. IT came down from the crossThe first time I heard it, I went out and searchedAnd found a man in the throes of crucifixion And I said, „I will take you down,” And tried to take the nails out of his feet. But he said, „Let them be‟

Day 5 We had a silent walk to MH today which was nice to just reflect and think and slow down. I had another great talk with the lady from South Africa about her husband and children and the relationships she has made with the sisters. The walk to PD is still so crazy and noisy, but I am starting to become immune to it. At PD today I got promoted in laundry duty, the lady in charge of it is finally starting to trust us. I learned a lot of names today and asked one lady how she was and she got into a big story and then got very sad and started to cry and pointed at the chapel and putting her hands as if she was in prayer. I wish I could understand what she is saying. I feel so terrible not being able to comfort her by words and only through hugs. One of the younger girls was sitting dividing up medicine, so I helped with that for a little bit. I tried to feed a lady, but she was lying down and just looked so weak and kept shaking her head no. The masse was trying to tell me to just feed her, but I was just so sad and didn‟t know what to do and didn‟t want to force her to eat. Today I got to go into the drawing room which consists of us drawing flowers for the ladies so that they can color them in. It was slightly frustrating because sister was mad that I was only working with one lady and not moving to everyone on the table, which I didn‟t know I was supposed to do. I don‟t like the feeling of wanting to do things my way and thinking they are correct and then being told otherwise even if I don‟t agree. Sister Fastina did chuckle a little at the en d of the day and it‟s important to remember they do everyone out of love and just have a different culture and way of doing things than we do. It was cool to help some of the ladies in the room learn to write the alphabet. With one of them she would get a little confused on the order and I was teaching them how to spell and say I love you in English. Ochina is one of the Massees who I am teaching to write in English and she can speak it pretty well. IT definitely felt like we were in there a very long time. I love how the ladies try to tell you to help the other women and make them happy. They want to make sure that you are feeding the other women first and painting their nails before themselves. I wish more people in America were like this instead of always wanting to be first. We got to go to the Mother Teresa museum today and see her bed room where she lived and died. It is so amazing to see how many people are move by her. Reading some of her stories, children would not eat for a day just so they could give it to her so she could feed someone else. Everyone loved her, not just Christians. Day 6 Wow I can‟t believe we have only been here six days, it seems like forever, it also seems like it‟s going way too quickly. I can‟t be sad there are only two weeks left, I need to enjoy the present moment. Today mark said we were always going to spend our morning walks in silence and I will admit I got kind of annoyed. Of course as I started to think about it, why would I not want to spend the first part of my day talking to God and praying for the people in India? It still kills me to walk past the cow meat hanging in the shops. I will never get used to that smell. The day totally makes the walk worth it though. Really small world- a group of 15 Creighton 1st year med students from Omaha are here. It‟s so crazy that I would meet so many people from Nebraska.

Mother Teresa quote “you only worry about the future if you are not using the now correctly” The walk was good, I talked to some of the Creighton students about school and what all they have been learning. When we got to PD today there was a group from Ireland, about nine girls who were all high schoolers. We had lots of people to help out today and many of the girls didn‟t really know what to do and seemed to be looking to me to tell them where to go. I remember how confused I was the first day so I laid out the day in front of them and helped them figure out what to do even though I wasn‟t really sure and just played it off. We wondered inside and found out they needed help mopping and making the beds so we did that for a while. It was fun to talk to the girls from Dublin and hear about what brought them here at such a young age. We got stuff done so quickly and I went to help with lotion, but so many people were already that I figured I would really be in the way. I sat and “talked” with some of the lad ies and helped show people how to pass out the snacks. We took the ladies over to the drawing room and I drew some pretty great flowers and saw a lady sitting outside without any paper so I went to hang out with her. The two of them looked really happy that someone had noticed them so I went and sat with them and they tried to teach me some Bengali. I would draw a picture and then they would say it and I would repeat and copy it down. I think they really enjoyed being able to be the ones helping me. We walked back over for lunch and one of the little girls brought me upstairs with her and we danced around and hopped in circles. A few other of the girls came over and laughed at my pronunciation of some of the words and tried to help me fix it. They are so lucky to be raised around the love of the sisters. I went downstairs and fed a lady I don‟t normally have much contact with. Her hands are deformed and are connected to her wrists. One of her eyes also looks as if it is popping out and she is blind. She is very nice and I felt bad because I fed her food that was too hot as first so I would blow on it but she would want to eat again before it was cool. I felt like we made a good connection and I also got to help move people to their beds for the first time and it is a little scary picking them up and moving them because of how frail they are and can‟t really communicate if something is hurting. I helped one lady and she was very thankful, she drew a cross on my forehead and kissed my cheek, I am sure she was saying lots of nice things. It was cool to share the moment with one of the young girls from Ireland. While we were standing outside MH waiting to go to lunch, three little girls came up to me, I couldn‟t really understand them, I think they wanted food even though they had bags of Lays chips. I tried to talk to them a little in Bengali and they helped me practice more words. I taught them the head shoulders knees and toes song. --Love is patient, kind, not jealous, not boastful. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. From book- this love is also a commitment to the poor, especially those who are closest to Jesus‟ heart and whom no one else cares for today, those who are oppressed in various kinds of slavery to sin and to the devil, the outcast, the afflicted in spirit, those deprived of hope rather than of material goods. Love is not simply the love of one person/ spouse. Love has many forms. Love is meant for everyone and anyone. Love should not be kept to just one person. Day 7 Woke up from some crazy dreams this morning freaked out and actually felt relieved when I realized I was in India. I just got back from an Indian mall and I don‟t know how I feel about it. It was a little much for me, they follow you around and try to force you buy things from there store. I definitely can‟t handle it and I think it was God‟s way of hinting to me that I don‟t need anything. The one store I do like is called sunshine and is just off a street by one of the restaurants. The guy who works there is so funny and just loves Americans. If you are looking at one thing he will say oh you like, and then dump out three bags of the same type of pants but different colors. You can tell that the American way of selling things has made its way to his store. I have a lot of big red dots on my legs; let‟s hope it‟s not scabies. Mass was great today. There were two little babies there being adopted by an Indian family and after mass they laid the babies on Mother Teresa‟s tomb and sister prayed over them. Working at PD today was good, we did the usual and then went to the drawing room which I loved today because sister let me teach some of the little girls how to count from 11 to 20. The 4 year old kept going, 11, 12, 13, 16, 17. She would skip 14 and 15 because of not being able to say the F sound. I feel like God blessed me with the best of both worlds because I love being with the older women but I also am so grateful I get to play with the little girls. We went upstairs again today and I painted some nails and chatted with one of the ladies who speaks pretty good English. She was making

a hot pad and I taught her how to sing the I love you Barney song. I learned that “Ami Tome Bhalo Basi” is I love you in Bengali. I was practicing it and accidently said it to the guy we were buying water from so hopefully he didn‟t get the wrong impression. So far we have paid as little as 35$ for lunch for 15 people. This is still the nicer side of food. I retract my earlier statement. I may actually have scabies or lice. Sister was picking lice out of one ladies hair (Agnes) today and squishing it on the table. -----bob quote – “SO I made it past the two meet shops and finally went to take a deep breath just to notice that there is a third. I thought I was going to projectile vomit.” Day 8 – on roof What a place Kolkata is. It‟s really quite discussing, but also quite beautiful. So simple. People don‟t worry so much about their appearance. They don‟t waste time on how they loo k or what other people think. It is so simple. At home so many people waste so much time on these things that they miss out on spending quality time with others. You get over being clean really quick considering you shower out of a bucket and as soon as you are done you are once again covered in sweat. It has probably been in the 90s this whole time with lots of humidity. I just watched a lady walk up from her nap on a cot on the side of the road and get up and use the restroom behind someone‟s car. "There are no lepers, only leprosy and it‟s curable." We went to the leprosy shelter that Mother Teresa built while in India and it was amazing to see the work that she did and what she has built for these people with this disease. Most people with leprosy get abandoned by their family and are looked at as if they are not even human. I can't even imagine being dumped on the side of the road by those who love you the most, your husbands, brothers, and children; because you have a disease that everyone is scared of, even though it is curable. Those stranded are left to die a long slow lonely death. It took a woman like Mother Teresa to set up and give these people their basic human dignity and spread the word that it is wrong to treat others this way. She took them in off of the streets to show them that people deserve respect and love. It is amazing to see what this place has grown into since she first opened it. When we first got there we walked past some of the patients and it hurt to look at them; seeing the missing arms and legs and many were missing eyesight because of the leprosy slowly eating away at their body. Stranger than seeing this however, was the fact that they would all smile as you went by and bow and tell you hello in Bengali. They all seemed so happy and it was hard to imagine being in that state and yet being filled with joy. It's amazing what simply giving someone their dignity back to them and treating them with love will do. As we continued to walk we went to a different area and saw the jobs that they supplied for the patients while they were getting treated and even for some who have recovered and just are so thankful for the place that they continue to work there and help out. One of the jobs that they have for them is to make all of the bedding and clothing for the patients in their other homes as well as make the white and blue saris that all of the sisters wear. One of the girls pointed out something that really made me stop to think; that these people are the ones left to die by society, they aren't even looked at as humans, and yet they are clothing the women who go out on the streets every day and care for all the sick and dying. It is amazing to think that they are gaining back their human dignity and by clothing the sisters, they are also feeding the hungry and caring for the wounded. They are doing more good for the world than many of us are capable of doing in our lifetime. We also got to see the school that was there for the children of the patients and they sung us a bunch of songs in English and Bengali, it was adorable. These are children that probably wouldn't have gotten an education if their parents hadn't gotten leprosy and been brought here. They would definitely not be learning English, which is a necessity if you don't want to live in poverty for the rest of your life. God doesn't create suffering, He allows it to happen. He is like any father; He hates to see his children suffer. While he doesn't take away all of the anger and pain in the world, he does make it so good can come from it. These people were abandoned by society, but through God's love they have been taken in and given human dignity and now have incredible hope for their children's futures. This is true for all of our lives; if we turn to God, even the hardest parts of our lives can be used for good.

Day 9 The walk to mass this morning really opened my eyes to humanity and let me see the people on the streets as who they may really be and not just for their poverty and the stares they give us. The potato man we pass by every day actually looked up and smiled at us and said goodmoring. I think we are starting to gain his trust. I saw three old men sitting on the steps drinking their tea and telling stories of their lives and what they have seen just like the old men in America do. I saw old ladies gathering laundry and sharing the gossip they had learned the day before. I saw the butcher who woke up early to slaughter the cow so that others could get protein in their diet. I saw parents woken up early by their children who wouldn‟t sleep any more. It is so amazing to finally see every one as people, and not just pity them, they are just like the people I see every day, just holding different jobs and instead of having walls separating their shops, they simply come together in one big area to share in the days work. After mass was really special to watch the sisters kneel down in front the priest who just got ordained a week ago. They truly see Jesus in him. This morning I sat with a lady in the bed room I don‟t usually go into. It is where all the very fragile ladies are who are close to death or who have recently been brought in and need some major medical work. She kept trying to tell me something, but I really wasn‟t sure what it was. She was making the sign of the cross and I know they were having mass but she didn‟t‟ seem to want to get up. One of the ladies walked by who could understand what she was saying and she told her something and then she let me know that she wanted to go to church. It was awesome to help her get to mass and sister told me I had to put her in the back because she would randomly pass out and couldn‟t control it. There is one lady who broke her leg over four years ago and it never got set or fixed. When she was brought here there was nothing really they could do and so whenever she wants to move she actually has to lift up her leg and move it. Her leg looks flat where the bone is broken. I was very impressed by the Ireland girls because they were dead set on getting her surgery or a cast. They were talking about how they would go back to Ireland and raise money to send back her to pay for everything. I wonder what the world would be like if everyone cared for strangers that much. As I was walking, one of the ladies who is missing lots of teeth grabbed my hand and just looked me in the eyes and smiled. It was so beautiful and I could tell she truly valued the relationship that we had built. Love her. It was really hard today to feed a lady because right across from me a lady looked like a ghost and was shaking uncontrollably. It looked as if she may die right there, it was so hard to watch and not be able to do anything for her except pray. One of the Creighton med students said that that is what most people look like when they are dying. It started to rain a little bit and I found a new little friend to play with who is super tiny and got attached real quick and even started to cry when her mom took her away. The power went out this evening so we had a water fight on the roof to cool off. Day 10 At PD today the laundry seemed just as hard as ever, mainly caring the buckets upstairs. I need to work on my upper arm strength. After the washing we helped with the medicine. The lady with the walker from the coloring room was sitting there so I gave her a hand massage; she is definitely turning into one of my favorites. She always get very happy when I come over and we speak my basic vocabulary that I know. We have such a good understanding of me bringing pictures outside so she doesn‟t have to go in the drawing room. There was a new sister in there today playing music and being more relaxed with the ladies. I did notice that the lady who was shaking badly yesterday had passed away. Her bed was empty and there looked to be a coffin in the room outside. Hopefully she died in peace and feeling loved. „Comfort, give comfort to my people says God.‟ This is just so important, not always in the way that we think of comfort, but comfort in the sense of knowing that you are loved and cared for. To die in comfort would mean that no one would ever die lonely. The main goal of the MCs. I wonder what the world would be like if instead of begging for food people begged for prayers and graces from God. We would always be on our knees, but we would be much more fulfilled when someone helped us. How can I bring more comfort to the ladies here that I meet? I just wish that I could understand them and hear their stories. I am sure they have seen some incredible things I may never see in my life. They have probably seen so much pain and misery, and the pain of feeling abandoned by family and left to die must be the worst kind of all. I am so thankful for the life that God has given me and the family love and support that I get.

Two of the girls from Mexico carried Aja into the sleeping room and laid her down. Earlier today when I saw her she was limp in her chair and looked as if she was dead. The sisters came over and it really looked like something was wrong. I was sitting next to the lady with the broken leg as she looked over at Aja and started to cry. It was hard to keep my composure and all I could do was sit and hold her hand, which is all I think she needed. I taught Ray Nadala more of the alphabet today and had one of the little girls walking around on my feet. I love just sitting there and talking to the ladies, minus having the different languages. Even just holding hands I feel as if we are connected. I wish I spent more time with people in need in the US. Day 11 If we could fix all the problems in the world, then man wouldn‟t need God. Today for starters we went to nabogiban. It was the home for the mentally challenged boys and men. On Sundays the brothers open it up to bring the neighborhood children in to get baths and feed them. It was an interesting ride there. It was about 40 minutes and two bus rides standing up, so tightly packed that people are hanging out the door. I talked to a girl from the US and she said that as a child she was adopted from the Ukraine, and right now she is in India, her brother is on a mission trip in Africa and he is only like 15 and her parents are in China adopting a 7 year old with special needs. What an inspiring family, they put so much effort into adopting children that no one else loves. They also adopted a 60 year old homeless man from their city and let him live with them. When we got there lots of kids were waiting by the gate singing auntie auntie (which is what they call the American looking volunteers). Inside the older girls took charge telling us how to bathe the little girls. They were all so excited to get cleaned and I was a little sad when one of the MC brothers called me over and said there were enough girls to help and that I should push this one boy around who had no one to help him. I didn‟t want to miss the bath, but I figured obedience would be good for me. The boy was pretty sweet and I just pushed him around chatting though I doubt he understood. He was handicapped and didn‟t really have control of his body and would just flair his arms everywhere. It was moving to see one of the younger boys who got done with his bath wanted to come up and help me push him. I met another awesome dude who was in a wheel chair and kept grabbing my hand and getting me to scratch his head and then would hit my hand in a clapping motion and yell “happy happy happy.” It was hard not to fall in love with him. He has so much love for others; I think it is a representation of how we should all love. It is very humbling to know that we can‟t take care of ourselves and need to rely on God. These boys just trust that you will take care of them and they love you with their whole hearts for it. It is so sad that people can‟t see all the joy that comes from having a child with mental challenges. It may be difficult, but it brings so much love and joy and God as something to teach us through them. I also got to meet Bob‟s friend Pepe who is pretty neat. He is an older guy who just kept making sounds and trying to have a conversation with me. He shared his peanuts with me and showed me his collection of 30 tooth brushes. He has a collection of a lot of things; I wonder where he gets it all from. He even let me write in his journal a note to him. I met another guy named Nathan who was very quiet and had cancer and said that he prayed to God every day. I went out to play with the kids and got a million flowers stuck in my hair, the girls were really excited about it. We sang to the kids and the Irish girls sang a mash up of a bunch of different songs and I once again taught the head and shoulders song. We had the kids all line up in rows and passed out mangos to them and lots of food. Some of the other boys would try to trick you and take two, but mostly they would grab two so that they could feed their younger sibling sitting next to them. After lunch we got to go to the MH and listen to one of the sister‟s talk about suffering. She knew so much and told us lots of personal stories; she dived into Mother Teresa‟s life and told us all about the suffering and darkness that she experienced. She said that there is a form of desolation when you need to grow closer to God and that helps you learn right from wrong and that you need him; however, what Mother Teresa felt was being so close to God that he allows you to share in Jesus‟ suffering because he loves and trusts you so much. Her suffering also came from her longing to know God so much, but not being able to be as close as possible to Him in this life. – she also said that we feel so bad for the people we are working with and with that we could share in their suffering and take some of the pain away, which is so true. I couldn‟t understand why God would allow so much pain in one person, but I had none. She sa id that we feel guilty about it, which can be its own form of suffering. This can be the hardest form, the fact that we are not able to take someone else‟s pain away. That really hit me, it truly does cause me to suffer everyday to watch others suffer and not be able to do anything to help them, let alone even understand what they are saying. One lady always tells me stories and cries and it breaks my heart. Suffering isn‟t always physical; it can be the pain that we feel for others as well. “Good intentions are the pathway to hell” just simply thinking of all the amazing things you want to do for the world isn‟t good enough. You have to actually go out there and do them.

-We introduce the people of Kolkata to God by showing them his love, they may not know him any other way, but through us showing them joy and love we are showing them who God is. -“God still comes to the poor every day, through you and me” -Does this mean that anytime true love is shown that we are acting as God? -Each person is judged by his conscious; God wouldn‟t punish someone for being raised to believe something their whole life and then only hearing the truth once and expect them to change everything. -This also means that we won‟t be punished for doing something wrong in the past that we didn‟t know was a sin. -We asked sister about the suffering she had to deal with in religious life and this was her response: you suffer just as much in the married life as you do in the religious. Sister only occasionally has to wake up to sick people in the middle of the night, but a mother has to do it every night for a year with a baby. Parents also have to build their schedule around their families were as she has more freedom. “You are not the savior of the world, you will die, but the saving will not stop” More things are suffering than we think; we just don‟t recognize all of it. Often when you have no other choice and just do something without thinking there is suffering involved. Especially here, we don‟t always thin k about the heat or noise or lack of food and showers as sufferings to God because we are not consciously making the choice, but we chose a few months ago to offer up these things to be here. Let us not forget the little things, because even they bring us closer to Jesus. “You suffer when you can‟t stop someone else from suffering.” This was one of the hardest things on the trip, I feel bad because I am not experiencing physical pain with them. But yet my heart aches for them in their loneliness and pain and there is nothing I can do about it. Day 12 --Pretty good day I would say. A group from Montana showed up, it was nice to talk to the older lady in charge and hear about the other medical trips she has done and the clinics they will work at. I talked to one of the ladies while we were hanging clothes and she told me that she used to be Catholic but fell away from her faith in college and then later in life she was saved. She was very impressed with the fact that I had come to find my faith in college. We talked about beliefs that the church had that she had never really realized. --I learned one of the ladies names today is Christina, at least that is what sister calls her. She has some mental disabilities and I have helped feed her before, but today I saw that she was feeing herself normal food. Good to know. She is a total doll. It took a lot to get her to smile today; she seemed a little not herself. I did help her get to the bathroom in time so that was great. I also helped another lady go to the bathroom. Thankfully one of the ladies from Montana was with me to help lift them over to the chair with a bucket and wipe her bottom off. I got a hug from the adorable lady with missing teeth who always grins at me. Day maker. I also found myself with ladies I don‟t normally talk to and we were hanging out and they loved clapping hands. One of the volunteers was telling us that these women never get told they are beautiful, not even by their parents or husbands so I want to learn how to say it to them. Good news. Aja didn‟t die the other day when I thought she looked really sick. Today she still didn‟t look amazing, but she was tied to her chair and out with the other ladies. I saw a taxi cab pull into PD and a little later I went to the back and saw that it had dropped off two ladies. There is a lady who goes to the train station and finds women who are injured and dying and brings them to PD. It made me want to throw up seeing the one lady‟s legs, both shins were covered in blood and the skin had been scrapped off. They were trying to cut the other ladies hair while she laid crying and moaning. The back of her head looked like it had been beaten in with a hammer over and over again. Sister thought that maybe they had been hit by cars a few days ago and left to die, leaving their wounds open to get infected by worms and maggots. It is amazing to see the lack of respect for human life here. I don‟t know how anyone could treat someone else like that. There is a cock roach that keeps appearing in our bed room. I am not a fan of it. I kept one under a bucket for about a week and someone let it out, I wonder if this is the same one. Day 13 --Made flashcards today to work on sounding out letters with the ladies. I like to think it worked, but s he probably won‟t remember tomorrow. We focused on saying “the dog is big” for sounding out letters. Sister made them all dance before they could leave for lunch --Today felt a little like I was back at square 1 and I couldn‟t tell what the ladies were saying or needed. I felt like the masses were giving very confusing directions and I was told to feed one lady, but she was too sick to eat so they told me

to feed the next one, but she was acting like she needed to go to the restroom. She couldn‟t walk there by herself and shook her head when I brought one of the bathroom pales to her. I finally had to have sister come show me that she needed the chair with the bucket under it. --Two more babies were adopted today, so precious. --The lady who was brought in yesterday was hooked up to an IV and looked to be in a lot of pain and they were trying to clean up her head more. The other lady was just laying there sleeping looking very worn down. --Becky and I tried to help the lady who is always bossing us around to the bathroom. Her hand always shakes and we failed so the Masee had to come help us. --Toothless lady gave me another big hug today and we danced together for a little bit but another lady hit her on the head, so I had to break it up. --One of the new ladies I met yesterday remembered me and came up and just wanted to sit next to me and hold my hand. --Saw some horses and goats heads just sitting on a table on the way home. Don‟t think I‟ll ever need to see that again. Day 14 Another day down, it‟s weird how quickly it goes. Working was good today, I found out I have a little more balance if I carry two buckets instead of one when walking up stairs. Really interesting conversation with one of the Montana ladies today. She said that she had this sense that I was very driven which was good, but that I was seeking my mother‟s approval and that she didn‟t understand why I was on this trip. I was really taken aback and told her that I was pretty sure my mom approved of everything I was doing. We kept on talking and she was asking me a lot of questions about my faith and was impressed that I could actually answer them. I think that they were questions people used to ask her that she couldn‟t answer and was glad I knew so much about my faith even though I think she was trying to trick me to see that being Catholic was wrong. Today was my bathroom day apparently. I helped 4 ladies go to the rest room back to back to back. Pretty sure I stepped in lots of urine, but it‟s okay. I even ended up putting on gloves to wipe a lady up. Not being able to do it themselves must not be a good feeling and they deserve to have someone to do that for them. I fed the lady with the hands attached to her wrist and eye coming out, and found out her name is Punda. She was not very pleased with me. The rice was really hot and I wasn‟t giving her enough to chew at one time and I am pretty sure at one point she ate some fish bones that I missed when I was trying to pull them out. Day 15 --Today we went on a tour of the city because it was the rest day for the sisters. We had a tour guide who explained to us about the Hindu gods and all about the Hindu culture. One of the reasons they don‟t treat people with dignity here is because of the past caste system they used to have as well as their religion. To them when you die you are born as a new person and if you are born into the poor, then it is because you did something bad in your past life and you deserve to suffer and they aren‟t supposed to help you. It‟s amazing that they treat cows as gods but people with no respect. ---We saw a flower shop, the place where they make all the sculptures, as well as the Victoria Memorial. It was interesting to hear all about the British taking over and what it did it Kolkata. ---At lunch today the window over looked a bridge where there was a family living under. The kids were just playing as if it was a normal thing. I can‟t imagine they ever leave from under there. ---While waiting in traffic there was a guy who was walking up and down the cars asking for money, most people told him know, but there was one guy on a motorcycle who pulled some money out of his pocket to give to him. ----The man on the street asking for money has to have so much humility. He has to really be so down on his luck and know that his whole survival is dependent on the mercy of others. Am I humble enough before God? Often I think that my will power and work can save me. I must remember that I can do nothing without the strength that God gives me. I must truly rely on his mercy. He really has no reason to forgive me or let me into Heaven,. He doesn‟t need my love. He simply does these things out of love for me. I must be reminded that I am that beggar on the street asking God to save my soul and feed me with the bread of life. Day 16 Slept in till 6am today, pretty rad. --We whipped out the poncho today because it was pouring, I think this is the start of monsoon season. We got stuck in a 40 minute cab ride today because I don‟t really think that the driver knew where he was going and traffic was terrible. Some of the others were freaking out that we wouldn‟t get there in time, but I felt reassured leaving things in God‟s hands and knowing if we were meant to get there we would. --Where we were going was this placed called Freeset. http://freesetglobal.com/who-we-are.html It is an awesome place. They have 150 women who have left the sex trafficking industry by their own free will. It usually takes a woman 6 to 12

months from deciding she wants to leave to actually following through and leaving. This organization teaches the women to sew and make bags and shirts and get paid twice what they were making. They also have a health center, day care, and psychologist for the ladies. Day 17 Do not swear by your head, because you cannot make a single hair white or black. Let your Yes mean Yes and you No mean No. Anything more is from the Devil. – Mathew 5:33 -We met another group from Creighton today. One of the girls is planning to be a family doctor and wants to get into Natural Family Planning and find cures (real ones) for the problems that people try to cover up with birth control. I loved seeing someone going against society norms to put God first in their life and career. -Doing laundry was great, it feels like I have been away forever, even though it‟s only been 2 days. Went and sat with a lady in the chapel today and we just held hands and prayed. Broken leg lady looked like she was in a lot of pain today and was crying. We sat for a while and she put my head on her shoulder and her head on mine. It was such a motherly thing to do. I wonder if she has kids and what it must feel like to be away from them for four years. I could feel the love coming through her, even though she was in pain, she was trying to comfort me. -Sat with one of the new ladies, we didn‟t connect as well as I hoped, she grabbed my hand and started talking a bunch. – -Then for lunch I fed one of the ladies who is blind. --I was really excited to see the lady who sits outside the coloring room and laugh with her. We worked on spelling Jesus loves me today. They were getting it down pretty well. --I went upstairs to find Susmita (four year old girl) rolling around on her bed while the other ladies were trying to sleep. I got to meet her mom who was here because she had to have eye surgery because she had cancer and they let the girls stay here with her. --Toothless lady was lying next to them so I lay down with her and another lady came over and gave us a blessing and she kept kissing my cheeks. We got to meet Sister Gertrude, who was the third Missionary of Charity to join the order. She was a doctor and was the one who was with Mother Teresa as she died. She was 20 when she joined and is now 87. She said that Mother Teresa‟s last words were „Jesus Jesus Jesus'. The first time sister went out with Mother Teresa she was holding a dying man and Sr. Gertrude didn‟t want to take him until Mother Teresa said, „don‟t be afraid, it‟s Jesus.‟ This lady has so much humility, she only talked of Mother Teresa‟s love for Jesus and nothing about herself. She said at first her dad didn‟t want her to join, but later asked when her sister would join her as an MC. God grants forgiveness to the man who weeps for his sins, not the sinner who hopes that God will delay in coming Day 18 --The little white haired lady who I took to mass one day was sharing her food with the lady next to her bed. I went over there and we said a few Hail Marys together. It‟s so true that those who have less to give, give more. --I spent 20 minutes cutting one ladies toe nails, I didn‟t know if I was cutting skin or nail. They were intense. --I went and had a long chat with Dede, the lady who had been brought in the week before from the car accident with her legs super scratched up. She was using her hands to explain to me about how she was married and used to have all this beautiful jewelry. I wonder how she got left to die. Does her family know where she is? She is only in her late 20s early 30s and truly is beautiful. Someone has to be missing her. ---We had Sunday sharing tonight with all the volunteers and I gave my testimony and Brian rapped his which was pretty awesome. And then our group preformed a skit about coming to America. ---As we were leaving holy hour there we ran into one of the girl who is mentally disabled. She got very excited when I asked how she was doing and her name. When I told her that I loved her she gave me a giant hug and the jewel that was on her forehead. So was so happy and beautiful and wanted me to come up stairs with her to help put her to bed. Day 19 ---We were sitting outside for snack with the ladies and one lady kept on crying. Sister came over and just kept patting her on the head and saying that she was crying because her heart hurt because no one loved her. She said that you and I love her but that her parents did not love her and would not let her marry her boyfriend. After sister left I gave the lady a hug and told her that I loved her and she smiled and looked up. Then later a lady was also sad and the first lady called me

over to have me help comfort this lady and when I said I love you she got super excited and tried to say it back. It means a lot to know that simple things that I do mean so much to them and that they want to share it with each other when someone else is down. ---I gave a 20 minute back scratch to the lady that I spent cutting her toes for 20 minutes. She really likes the attention. There is a new girl here who is 11 and really good at English. She said she is here helping her mom out who works here. But she told me depressing news, that the other little girls I always play with are gone. But I guess it‟s good because it means their mom was well enough to go back to their normal lives. ---Today for practicing the alphabet we went slowly and did one letter at a time over and over. There is one lady who can write and speak really good English who just got here. She just keeps writing big paragraphs about the ocean and her parents, it‟s a little sloppy so I can‟t really read it. ---This afternoon we went to Shishu Bhavan, the orphanage started by Mother Teresa. There were so many 3 year olds running around everywhere. They were so excited to have someone to play with but were climbing all over me. After snack we took them outside to play and I fell in love with these two little boys with Down syndrome who were out there kicking the ball. He is so joyful and he loved to kick the ball into the corner and run over there where there were no other kids playing. One of the little girls went up and kissed the glass case with the statue of Mother Teresa. They all went inside and got showers and had dinner. It wasn‟t as devastating as I imagined it to be, these kids were all well fed and loved by the women working there and so many of them were being adopted and had been.

Day 20 More babies adopted this morning. As we were sitting my Mother Teresa‟s tomb the families were in there and the grandpa was so cute bouncing the girl up and down and she was giggling. Danny was sick today but I had a really good conversation about life with Jessica from Creighton. I taught her how to say I love you in Bengali and she was excited because she could say it to the lady with the broken arm who was also brought in recently from being hit by a car. I think her pelvis is also broken because she has a really hard time lying down and sitting up. Dede, the lady who had her legs badly torn up from being hit was telling one of the sisters that she speaks Hindi, Bengali, and she can understand English. Oops. So she could hear all the times I was just randomly agreeing with what she said. She was so excited to talk to us again, and to help up figure out what the other lady needed. She showed me her miraculous medal of Mary that she was wearing and the bangles (bracelets) that the sisters had gotten her. She was telling us that she was married by showing that she used to have the red line drawn in her hair, which is their sign for married. She is so young and beautiful, even with her head shaved because it let me see directly into her eyes and the joy she has. One of the ladies wanted to sit up, but I was scared to hurt her and didn‟t know what to do, so I tried for a while, but then just gave up because I figured sister could help more. There was another lady that I was able to sit up, the side of her hip was cut open pretty bad so she couldn‟t really lean on one side. They had her eating food that was more liquid since she was really frail, but she told me she wanted rice so I mixed some into her cup and fed it to her with my hands! I helped Becky understand what the 20 minute back scratch lady was trying to tell her and convince her to steal the toilet bucked so she could hide it under her bed. The Spanish girls gave me a medal of Mary that was really cool, except I can‟t exactly read it si nce its in Spanish. It was a little frustrating after getting everyone to bed, usually we leave then, but I was still feeding a lady, and it was like all the masses disappeared. They would walk right by ladies who were telling them they needed to go to the bathroom and one lady was stuck sitting in her chair right next to her bed. Becky was running around everywhere making sure they were all taken care of and not ignored. Sarah got sick at work today and had to walk back home, poor thing. We went to holy hour at the contemplative Missionary of Charities. So what that means is that they pray all day long. Their convent is right in the middle of the city, but walls block it off so the chapel is in the middle of nature and it had a

cemetery were the second sister to join the MCs was buried along with a lot of war soldiers. We got to talk to the sisters after and they are so joyful it was amazing and they loved to talk, probably because not many people come visit. They told us all kinds of stories and gave us second class relocks, (a piece of something that Mother Teresa had worn).

Day 21 It was weird thinking this is the last time I will be going to Prem Dan. It was such a blessing the Lord sent me there. I feel like I hopefully touched some people‟s lives and brought them to Jesus. I made friends with a new British lady today and she was very sweet and is an in-home care giver in England and was raised is South Africa. There was also a new group from Spain today and they were taking lots of pictures along the walk and I was slightly getting offended, because I didn‟t want them to be ignoring the people‟s human dignity. Of course I realized I was also taking pictures so I didn‟t have a lot of room to be talking, but I guess I assumed I am doing it out of love for the culture and the relationships I have built with these people the past three weeks and not just passing through for one day.  Becky was sick today so that was a bummer. As I was walking over to the drawing room, sister had them all outside standing up and doing exercises, it was so funny watching them move their arms up and down. She said they need it because all they do is sit and eat, which is pretty true. Most of them looked to be enjoying it. The coloring room was good for the most part; we drew some pictures for Becky so she wouldn‟t feel left out.  Went inside and was helping some ladies eat cheeto type things and drink her chi and all of a sudden Punida was yelling my name through the window into the bedroom, so I went in and walked her out and fed her and sad for a while and scratched her neck, I really think we were bonding. Then she said thank you in English which blew my mind because I didn‟t know she knew any and later in the day I told her I loved her in Bengali and she answered back in English, „I love you.‟ I think she has been holding out on me this whole time.

The ladies loved taking pictures and then seeing themselves. Whenever they saw their face on the camera their eyes just got really big and they got so excited. Shallow me thought they may get upset at seeing themselves this way, but they didn‟t care at all about how they looked. I was especially surprised with the two newer ladies, the really young ones who had been hit by a car. A week ago they were probably all dressed up with long hair and Dede would always walk about her big earrings and all the fancy things she used to have and here she is now, skinny as a stick, in a checkered gown with her head shaved. But when she saw her photo she just grinned, she saw so much beauty in herself, and not because of how she looked. The lack of material things with her didn‟t seem to matter, what mattered was that she was no longer on the street and that she was here being loved by all of us. Some with the lady across from her. She was more talkative today and cheerful. She did seem to get a little woozy as they were bringing in a new lady, or she was just falling asleep. Dede was pretty concerned that I should make her lay down and she shouldn‟t look at the new lady.

The new lady just looked so sad and helpless, she was in a wheel chair, naked holding a cloth to cover herself. She was all bones, nothing to her, no fat, no breasts; I could see just about ever bone poking out. Dede smiled at her and tried to make her feel better. I think she was hoping to let her know that she had gone through the same thing, and that the lady would be safe now. They also think that she got hit by a car and left. IT looked so painful as sisters sat cleaning out her back and trying to get it bandaged. I went over and just sat on the ground next to her and held her hand. I didn‟t see her whole back until it was mostly bandaged, but it must have been pretty back because on her upper back they hadn‟t bandaged it yet, and you could see straight into her body. About a camera size layer of skin was missing and all you could see was the muscle. She could still kind of walk and she lay in a bed because in between her legs were more really bad cuts that looked infected.

The sister in charge smiled at me, I think I am starting to gain her respect. It was hard helping get the ladies to bed because I knew it would be the last time I would see them. I went upstairs and all the masses wanted pictures and to look at themselves. I will really miss some of them and especially the young ones. The bus ride today was like 30 minutes long. We went to a place where we were able to get the same types of rosaries that Mother Teresa and all the Missionary of Charities use. We discussed how Mother Teresa‟s plan with the volunteers was that their whole day would be with Jesus. It would start out with receiving Him at mass, then you would meet Him in the poor that you helped, and you would end your day talking to Him in adoration. Her life was truly all about her love for Jesus.

Sarah told us that as she was waiting to leave today there was a man sitting there writing areoplane over and over and she asked why and he said he was practicing to show his mom that he could write. He was 30 or 40 and I guess Mother Teresa found him on the street when he was 8 starving to death so she brought him to Caligot ( the home for the dying) and there another sister started to care for him and got him into a really good school. There he learned a lot and how to speak English and he got a good job and lives outside the city but still comes back every 5 weeks to see his mom. It was amazing that she got to meet someone whose whole life was changed directly because of Mother Teresa.

I do think that I am ready to leave this city, even with all the poverty and loneliness it is truly an amazing place. I can‟t wait for all the lessons I am about to start learning as I travel back to the US and see how spoiled the West is and how wasteful we are. “don‟t measure your generosity by what you give, rather measure by how much you have left after you give.”