Skinnygirl Solutions

Your Straight-U p Guide to Home, Health, Family, Career, Style, and Sex

Bethenny Frankel
with Eve Adamson Illustrations by Bunky Hurter

A touChstone book

Published by Simon & Schuster New York London Toronto Sydney New Delhi

Touchstone A Division of Simon & Schuster, Inc. 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 Copyright © 2013 by BB Endeavors, LLC All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. For information address Touchstone Subsidiary Rights Department, 1230 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10020. First Touchstone hardcover edition August 2013 TOUCHSTONE and colophon are registered trademarks of Simon & Schuster, Inc. For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Simon & Schuster Special Sales at 1-866-506-1949 or business@simonandschuster.com. The Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau can bring authors to your live event. For more information or to book an event contact the Simon & Schuster Speakers Bureau at 1-866-248-3049 or visit our website at www.simonspeakers.com. Illustrations by Bunky Hurter/Mendola Artists Manufactured in the United States of America 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Frankel, Bethenny.   Skinnygirl solutions : your straight-up guide to home, health, family, career, style, and sex / Bethenny Frankel with Eve Adamson ; illustrations by Bunky Hurter.   pages cm   “A Touchstone Book.”   1.  Women—Life skills guide.  I.  Adamson, Eve.  II.  Title.   HQ1221.F723 2013  646.70082—dc23 2013016625 ISBN 978-1-4516-6739-4 ISBN 978-1-4516-6744-8 (ebook)

Dedication
This book is dedicated to women. We struggle every day just to find balance, even when we rarely master it. We strive for fairly simple things: love, sex, health, family, work, sleep, time, water, and trying not to look like a total hot mess while attempting to achieve them. You have given me so much. Every day I learn something from you, whether it is something as simple as removing a stain or something as intense as coping with divorce. I wrote this book to try to give you some of the solutions that keep me sane under the most difficult of circumstances. I love you and I am so proud of you for all that you endure and strive for every day.

Contents

Introduction 1

Part One: Skinnygirl Wellness 
Chapter One: Living Naturally Thin  9

7

Chapter Two: The Naturally Thin Quick-Start Plan  25 Chapter Three: Troubleshooting Your Weight-Gain Traps  39 Chapter Four: What to Eat  55 Chapter Five: Fast Fitness  81

Part Two: Skinnygirl Solutions for Daily Life 
Chapter Six: Time Management  97 Chapter Seven: Homebody  131 Chapter Eight: Entertaining  179

95

Chapter Nine: Traveling Affordably, Enjoyably, and Without Losing Your Mind  211 Chapter Ten: Do Everything Better  229

x

Contents

Part Three: Skinnygirl on the Job 
Chapter Eleven: Career Planning  257

255

Chapter Twelve: Managing Your Career  281 Chapter Thirteen: Should You Start Your Own Business?  299 Chapter Fourteen: Money Management and Finances  323 Chapter Fifteen: Work-Life Balance  355 Acknowledgments 359 Index 361

Chapter Four
What to Eat
eople always ask me what I eat, and they also want to know what they should eat—on certain kinds of days, in certain situations, on holidays, at restaurants. In this chapter, I’ll give you a glimpse into what I eat, in case you need inspiration, motivation, or ideas for those days when you have PMS or a hangover, when you go out for Chinese food, or when you panic because you’re at an all-inclusive resort and you can eat everything for “free.” I’ve got tips and menus and strategies for every situation. I’ve personally eaten all these things and in all these combinations, but truthfully, I’m not always so balanced. Some days, I might eat an entire bowl of fried rice for lunch. Another day, I might skip breakfast. These are just my ideas for what might work for you in a variety of situations, based on what has worked for me.

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SKINNYGIRL SOLUTIONS

Your Basic Feel-Bad Day

On a feel-bad day, I want to make myself feel better, and I usually do that with comfort food. Whether I’m depressed, anxious, irritable, sleep deprived, or just had one too many the day before, on a basic feel-bad day I usually crave salt, sugar, and fat, and I tend to eat things like eggs, salty snacks, and ice cream. Dinner is often pasta because it’s comforting. Portion control is very important on these days, so I really watch how much I eat of these decadent foods. Especially when I had too much to drink the night before, I know my body is trying to replenish and hydrate, so I also keep at hand a full glass of club soda with a splash of juice. Here’s what I’m likely to eat:

BASIC FEEL-BAD DAY
Breakfast
Breakfast burrito or wrap with egg whites and a wholegrain tortilla. Keep the additions on the light side—salsa and vegetables, and only a little if any cheese and sour cream. Half of a sandwich or a piece of pizza.

Lunch

What to Eat
Afternoon Dinner Evening snack
A small bag of baked barbecue chips. Comfort food like angel hair pasta with red sauce and maybe a glass of wine. Small cup of ice cream or frozen yogurt with sprinkles, or a few more handfuls of chips.

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On a Famished Day

Some days, you just wake up really hungry, so focus on volume. High-volume, high-fiber foods fill you up without the dense fat and calories in more decadent foods that need more portion control. You can eat more and still end up in balance. You might also be famished on days when you work out a lot or have demanding physical activity, whether work or play. On days when I’m snowboarding, I’m famished. Here’s what I might eat:

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SkinnyGirl Solutions

FAMISHED DAY
Breakfast
Whole wheat pancakes or an egg-white omelette with a lot of veggies. On the run, oatmeal is a filling option. Add soy milk and fresh fruit for volume. Whole wheat veggie sandwich with cheese and avocados or tuna salad, or a Cobb salad or Caesar salad. I might or might not eat the whole thing—if it has a lot of bacon and blue cheese, I probably won’t finish it. On a ravenous day, I might just tear right into a big bowl of fried rice because I can’t wait. A Skinnygirl Daily On-the-Go bar or half a brownie. Two spicy crab sushi rolls and a salad, or crab cakes with a green salad. I might just make a mishmosh, like a bowl of soup, a sweet potato, a salad, and some hummus and crackers. If I’m still craving something sweet, I might have half of a large chocolate chip cookie.

Lunch

Afternoon

Dinner

Evening snack

What to Eat

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On a Sick Day

When you wake up with a sore throat or a queasy stomach or that all-over feeling that things just aren’t right in your body, pamper your system in an easy way. When I’m sick, I’m not very hungry but I’ll drink juices and smoothies and eat soup to flush out whatever virus is trying to take hold. It’s good to hydrate when you’re sick. When I want something sweet, Popsicles are perfect. Sometimes I just want comfort food and salt. This is what I’ll typically eat on a sick day: SICK DAY
Breakfast Lunch: Afternoon
Fruit smoothie. Vegetable noodle soup, Popsicle. Green/apple juice, or watermelon.

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SKINNYGIRL SOLUTIONS
Chinese food, like vegetable mu shu, steamed dumplings, brown rice, and spicy sautéed broccoli. Another Popsicle, or maybe fresh fruit.

Dinner Evening snack

On a PMS Day

What to Eat

61

Hormonal PMS days aren’t egg-white-and-salad kinds of days. These are salt-sugar-fat days, so I keep my portions down but I have whatever I’m craving. I don’t hold back on dairy during PMS days either as I’ve found that calcium is good for PMS symptoms and cramps. If I’m feeling bloated, I’ll eat lighter than this, but this is a typical hormonal day of eating. Here’s an example of what this might include: PMS DAY
Homemade blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup, or whole-grain cereal and a Starbucks decaf misto with soy milk. (To be totally honest, one morning I had PMS and I ate half of a gigantic piece of chocolate cake with lots of icing.) A veggie burger or a turkey burger on a whole wheat bun with low-fat cheese, ketchup, and mustard, or if I’m craving something sweet, maybe just a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat and a cup of soup. A kiddie-sized cup of ice cream or frozen yogurt with sprinkles or a few dark chocolate almonds. (PMS days are sugar-craving days for me.) Whole wheat pasta with pesto sauce. If I’m going out, I might want the salty/spicy taste of Thai food, or I might order in Chinese and eat it on the couch with a heating pad and a side of Advil. A small cookie or a few bites of a brownie or chips and a glass of wine.

Breakfast

Lunch

Afternoon

Dinner

Evening snack

Chapter Six
Time Management
eople often ask me about how I stay organized, how I fit everything in, and how I balance work with my personal life. I won’t pretend it’s easy. One of my greatest struggles has been work-life balance. Doing it right means managing your time, getting organized, and maximizing your minutes. Phone companies know the world is measured in minutes and that we’ll never stop needing more of them. Time management is step one. I used to think finding time for my friends and myself while building my career was hard, but then I became a mother, and now those days seem like a party. Being a mother equals guilt. You will never have enough time with your family. My friends and I used to count the days until something exciting would happen. Now none of us has time for that, and it feels like something exciting (or challenging) happens every minute. I used to mark my menstrual cycle in a calendar and it really felt like a month between periods. Now I get it every five minutes. Time is whipping by. I’m constantly on the verge of not getting it all done in time, and yet, somehow I do. It’s never easy, but it’s definitely possible.

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SkinnyGirl Solutions

How to Manage Your Time
For me, time management is about three things: 1. Being Organized If you aren’t organized, you’re going to waste time, period. You’ll be looking for things or trying to remember what you were supposed to be doing. If you don’t know what’s supposed to happen next, you won’t be ready. If you don’t know where something is, you’re going to waste time looking for it. You can be the best multitasker in the world, but if all you’re doing is making up for lost time due to disorganization, you’re stressing yourself out for nothing. Fastidious organization is the most important way that I save time. Anyone can become organized. Disorganization is just a bad habit. Three seconds of putting something away now can save you an hour looking for it later, and spare time spent organizing a drawer or a closet or a shelf instead of staring at a television will be worth every second you ­invest. 2. Multitasking I hardly ever do just one thing at a time, unless it’s spending time with my daughter. There are a million ways to get two or more things done at once. As I write this, I’m on a plane to Australia. I used as much time as possible to sleep because that’s important, but the minute I woke up, I chose to work on this book instead of staring at a movie. Multitasking is controversial because people say that nobody can really multitask very well and if you try, you won’t get things done as quickly. I’m not sure I believe that, because I’m continually multitasking, and I get a hell of a lot done every day. For me, an idle mind is the devil’s playground. This year has been unusual for me because I’ve had some time off, but when I don’t have enough to do, I just torture my staff with new production ideas. I think I do things better if I’m doing three things at once. Multitasking energizes and invigorates your mind, so you think more clearly and sharply and you move more quickly. It seems to me like when I have one thing to do, I get nothing done, but if I have forty-two things to do, I get it all done.

Time Management

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Ideas beget more ideas. If you can get good at it, you’ll effectively double or triple the minutes in your day. Some complex jobs really need your full attention and you need to be able to recognize when that’s the case. Writing a book chapter, creating a presentation for work, brainstorming, cooking something complicated, or assembling an entertainment center need all your brain power, so put away your smartphone and get on with it. Also, don’t multitask when you’re pushing a stroller, holding a baby, crossing the street, using something sharp, like a saw or scissors, or doing anything else that could be dangerous, and don’t do stupid things while you need to concentrate, like checking your e-mail every three seconds or obsessively tweeting. That’s not multitasking. That’s wasting valuable time. Thousands of tasks you do every day are relatively mindless, so do a few at a time. Here are some examples of how I multitask and how you can get more done, too:
• When you’re on the phone, walk around the house declut-

• •

• • • •

tering. Put things back where they belong. Dust, or wipe down the counters in your kitchen or your refrigerator. When you’re waiting for a call or a meeting to start, or you are on hold, organize a drawer or delete contacts from your cell phone. When you’re watching TV, do your sit-ups and push-ups or a few yoga poses. For dinner, make whatever needs to bake first (like bread, cake, or casserole), then make the side dishes on the stove while the oven is going. If you’re a passenger in a car, write your blog, make your lists, or edit your book. When you’re waiting in line, answer e‑mails. Make playdates at parks so you can spend time with your child and socialize with other moms at the same time. Get a manicure while you’re getting a massage. They can work around each other. You just relax. You can also spend time with your child while getting a manicure. I take Bryn with me and she gets a manicure too, or she colors or plays on my iPad.

Peach Sangria

Mojitos

Chapter Eight
Entertaining

A

s a former event planner, I love planning and hosting parties, but I also want to enjoy them and I don’t want to spend the whole night cleaning up afterward. Anybody can have people over for drinks, but it takes a certain level of attention to detail to throw a really successful party. The most important thing I learned about parties long ago is that having a theme pulls a party together. It doesn’t have to be an obvious theme like Mardi Gras or luau. You don’t have to be tacky or kitschy, but do set a tone. It can simply be an idea you have in your own mind that nobody else even knows, but it can help you keep everything—food, cocktails, music, lighting, décor—consistent, and it will give your party a particular ambience and style. Your theme might be romantic, or festive and fun, or vintage, or edgy and modern, or elegant and sophisticated. The theme should be the first thing you choose when you are planning a party, but it’s not the only decision, of course. I worked for years producing events from celebrity weddings to parties for the Emmys and the Grammys, and I’ve learned a thing or two about entertaining. This chapter is full of my best event-planner insider secrets and party-planning tips.

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SkinnyGirl Solutions

Get the Music Right
Music sets the whole tone of a party. The right music can make a party and the wrong music can kill it. If the music is too manic, it can make everyone anxious, but if it’s too mellow, everyone can get tired. When choosing, consider your guests. If you are thirty but your guests include sixty-five-year-olds, they might not appreciate your favorite kind of music. Personally, if I’m in a nightclub and they play house or techno, I get anxiety because I associate that with everybody doing drugs. Play hip-hop, however, and I can’t stop dancing. I used to love disco. It’s a personal choice but I’m not going to play hip-hop at every single party. It all depends on the theme or mood I’ve chosen for the event. You also need to decide where your music will come from. You don’t have to hire a band or a DJ unless your party is a major event. Instead, make playlists on your iPad or iPhone and put it in a dock. You can customize the music for your whole party ahead of time. You can design a playlist to match your theme or the mood you’ve chosen. If you aren’t sure, start with light jazz or classical and then move into dance music, if that’s your thing. If you aren’t sure what will go over well, have some options and ask the guests if they like the music or if they want to hear something else. Every party has someone who wants to play DJ. Another option is to use a service like Songza or Pandora. Just put in a song or artist that typifies the mood you like, or a kind of music (like “Top 40” or “adult contemporary” or “disco”), and Pandora will play a custom-made “radio station” for your party. If it plays any songs you don’t like, just click the thumbs-down symbol and Pandora will eliminate that song from the station forever. The more you tell it which songs you do and don’t like, the more it will refine your station to suit your mood and personality.

Entertaining

181

Get the Lighting Right
Nobody looks good with bright overhead fluorescent lights, and nothing flattens a party quicker than bright lights. Think about how a club or candlelit room feels when the lights get bright. It destroys the mood. Dim lights make everyone look better and candlelight is sexy. You don’t have to rent lighting. Just put your lights on dimmers, add candles, or use lamps instead of overhead lights.

Have Signature Cocktails
Of course, you could invest in a whole bar full of liquor, but when you put a bunch of different bottles out on the table, the table gets sticky, the caps get lost, people spill when they pour, and it’s expensive. It’s also very collegiate. Instead, a few pitchers of signature cocktails are easier for people to serve themselves, and they will feel like they are participating in the party. Put out appropriate glasses, garnishes, and buckets of ice. Cute cocktail napkins and interesting cocktail stirrers could be fun. Also put out pitchers of water with lemons and limes and water glasses. If the tap water is terrible, buy jugs of spring water. If you set up your cocktail area on a table, see if you can put it on risers. It’s awkward to lean down to make drinks. Match your signature cocktails to the theme or mood of the party. If you need ideas, flip to the end of this chapter for different party themes and appropriate cocktails and recipes.

T h e P e r f e c t Ic y M a r t i n i

I used to wonder how the great steakhouses and good martini bars get those little bits of ice floating on the top of their drinks. I tried, but I’d end up with an ice rink on top of the glass. It took me forty-two years to figure this out, but I finally discovered that

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SkinnyGirl Solutions

if you rinse your glasses and put them in the freezer, then when the drink hits the ice on the glass, you get the bits of floating ice on top.

If guests are making their own drinks, keep the selection limited. You don’t need every kind of liquor or mixer. You don’t need gin if all the party guests are under sixty-five, unless you have a friend who drinks it. You don’t need rum unless everybody’s from the Caribbean or it fits the party theme. If you have whiskey drinkers at your party, include a bottle of Scotch or bourbon. Otherwise, keep it simple. This is really all you need:
• • • • • • • • •

White Tequila Vodka Dry vermouth Club soda Tonic water Lemons and limes cut up in a bowl Olives in a bowl Light-colored juice, like pineapple, grapefruit, and/or orange White wine

If it’s your house and not mine, you could include cranberry juice, sweet vermouth, grenadine, cherries, and red wine, but I suggest not ruining your party or life by serving drink elements that can stain your carpets and furniture, not to mention someone’s clothes. If someone spills, they will want to kill themselves and you will want to kill them. Save the cosmos, manhattans, and red wine for when you are at a restaurant. Also prevent messes by putting coasters out everywhere. Coasters are a must if you don’t want to ruin your furniture.

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