Many of us are not able to forgive people who have injured us in the past, even in our early childhood. A direct consequence of this unforgiving attitude is an unbalanced emotional state which leads to illnesses and/or dysfunctional behavior.

Perhaps you were exposed to some sort of painful injustice that resulted in frustration or fear such as the loss of a loved one, violet treatment by someone you trusted, or lack of affection, etc ...

Notice that your dysfunctional behavior is just a symptom of an unbalanced emotional state because of the things (as shown in the list above) that happened in your past: childhood or later years. In the beginning the fault for your behavior was theirs, but later, after cultivating and accepting that behavior, it became your sin and consequently your fault.

- You need forgiveness - to forgive them, God and yourself.

- You need God's acceptance

The following are having some symptoms of an emotionally unbalanced person; if you discover yourself having one or more of these symptoms, please accept your need for forgiveness. Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your memory those painful situations and injustices that were committed against you. You can then determine what prompted your symptoms and release your heart from bitterness by forgiving unconditionally If you cannot do so, you are actually condemning yourself to live an unhappy and unhealthy life.

Symptoms of an emotionally unbalanced person:

*People Pleasing *Addiction to Approval *Addiction to Attention *Eating Disorder Addiction *Kleptomania *Chronic Problem to Gain Attention *Chemical Abuse *Shopping Addiction

*Manipulation *Child Abuse *Alcohol Abuse *Gambling *Incompetence *Perfectionism *Sexual Addiction *Workaholism

Under stress reactions:

*Rage be Intimate *Uncontrollable fear and Isolation *Depression Anxiety *Phobias *Distrust Suicide *Defensiveness

*Inability to *Relational Conflicts *High Levels of *Panic Attacks *Thoughts of *Thoughts of

Violence *Inability to Receive Criticism *Blaming Behavior *Desire to Run Away *Abusive

The solution:

1. Recognize that something is wrong

2. Accept that you can't do anything, - Yes you can work by yourself on a dysfunctional symptom, but you need to resolve problem not just the symptom. If not, you will end up avoiding one behavior and embracing another. So you need to resolve the cause/source of your symptoms but you have no power to do it. However God can and is willing to do it for you. Understand that:-

(a) behavior that is dysfunctional has its roots in sin. First you were a

recipient of an injury but you chose to a sinful way. Now you are led and controlled by sin.

(b) behavior is a fruit of heart; (Mark 7:21) To change the heart is God's job not yours.

3. Believe that with God all things are possible! Luke 1:37, Colossians 2:13-15, Ephesians 1:22, Philippians 4:13, Ephesians 1:3 2 Peter 1:3

4. Let the Holy Spirit be your guide - Ask the Holy Spirit to bring to memory events that brought shame, unworthiness, failure, fear .. - Write down all of the events that the Holy Spirit brings to memory. - Take care of the memories one by one; do not hurry to forgive but write a letter (without sending it but read it two times a day for at least three months), express your emotions in private, let the Holy Spirit heal your emotions as they come to surface. - Express your emotion before the Lord - Don't suppress any feelings of anger, rage, fear, or sorrow, etc ... However, don't pour these feelings to your offenders but only to God.

- Argue with those people who hurt you as if they were present. You can also write a letter each one of them. Do not send the letter to them. Never argue with them face to face. If you feel it necessary to talk with them about the past, do so only after you have decided to forgive them and you have finished the process of healing. Then you may meet with them not to decide whether you are going to forgive them, but just to let them know that you were hurt by their actions but you have forgiven them. - Recognize your feelings and keep in mind that they are real and LEGITIMATE. Do not undermine or ignore your feelings.

5. Extend your forgiveness toward God. 2 Corinthians 3:17-18

6. Remember that UNFORGIVENESS is the root of symptoms like anger, bitterness, fear, revenge, jealousy, and depression; do not allow yourself to remain their prisoner. Keep in mind that: - There is a certain degree of risk in forgiving - After you forgive, the memory of the bad actions will remain but your negative feelings toward them will disappear. - Not to excuse your sin with your offender's action.

- Not to pretend that the injury never happened. - Not to express forgiveness too soon - You must forgive God for His apparent lack of care for you. If not, depression, misdirected rage or fear, and suppressed anger will be like an atomic bomb exploding after a short chain reaction. - It is vital that you ask the Holy Spirit to bring to your memory all of your past memories, hurt, and pain. Take one event at a time, Try to remember every detail, express your feelings. Ask for the gift of forgiveness so that you may forgive as He forgives you. - You must accept your measure of guilt for not forgiving right away and for your choice to , blame the persons who have wounded you. Come to God in total repentance showing your disposition to forgive and to be forgiven. For more go to:

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