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What Women Look for in a Man

Introduction
This book contains secrets about women, and what they want, which you can use to make yourself attractive to women. You've probably seen a lot of women in public, and wondered, Is this woman ready for a relationship?. You've judged the woman by what type of woman she is by her body, and the way she dresses, to decide if she would go for a man like you. You might have casually checked an online dating site, containing thousands of faces of different women, many of which would make great potential dates. You have seen what these women say they want in their profiles. Women say they want a guy who is generous, and buys them things, There are plenty of fun men, who act rich but aren't, who have a talent for making women feel comfortable, who are more interesting to women than a stuck up rich guy that is able to buy them things. Women appreciate humor, so make sure that your humor shines through . A laugh is the best kind of gift. And this can differentiate you from all the other candidates who are online. What the woman wants on the deepest level is reassurance. Laughter is a powerful way to provide this reassurance. There are some guys that women are naturally attracted to, and this guide will help you realize who that guy is,

Levels of Investment and Motivation


Deep down the average woman has a defense mechanism against giving her body away. Her body only goes to that special guy who deserves it. Think about sex as being a big investment for a woman. A woman values her relationship by how much has been invested in it. How much has the guy put in? I've heard a story about a girl who keeps giving guys she meets in bars Bjs, because by the time she gets to the guys room she has sobered up enough to not want to have sex. So she ends up giving a Bj instead. If a girl isn't drunk she will always ask herself, How much has the guy put in?, before she has sex. For a girl to have sex she must have a really good reason. In other words you have to be able to offer her something, but what?

What Women Look for in a Man


Why does a Woman Want to Get Into a Relationship in the First Place? In America, women are socially compelled to get into relationships. They are influenced by their friends to get something for themselves. A woman who is good looking knows she is good looking, and wants the most that she can get for her looks. People are incredibly motivated by status. A woman wants a man that will raise her status among her friends. Besides status, a woman wants a partner for security. And then there are all the chemicals that influence her when she is around potential partners. Her immediate motivation is to get the feel good chemicals that come from her interaction with men. Women and men have a surprising amount in common when it comes to this. Think of the feel good chemicals that you have when you are with a woman with big breasts. These are the same chemicals that the woman feels when she is with a high status man. The chemicals of high status apply to both men and women. Women are socially competitive when it comes to getting feel good chemicals. They will try to outmaneuver other women to get to the object of their affection. If you were Justin Bieber would you bring one or two women with you into your hotel room. Keep in mind that these women are definitely into him. Not only will Justin Bieber have four sets of boobs to play with, but the women are going to try to outdo each other to get Justin Bieber. If Bieber was with one woman, she might attempt to slow things down, if Bieber hasn't made a big enough investment. However, she wouldn't dare do this with the threat that the other woman present will be looser than her. when a woman is young she wants an attractive guy when she is older she wants an attractive guy who is smart and has a job then when she is even older, she wants an attractive guy who is smart and rich So the standards of women for a long term relationship go up. However, as women get older they get more experienced, and some other guy has probably initiated them into the world of the puppy love relationship. If she is offered a relationship where she feels like she is control, her standards might go down. Perhaps she is okay with the attractive guy who has a job. The guy doesn't have to be smart or rich, just fun to be with. In fact the guy might be easier for the woman to control if she is obviously smarter than he is. Both women and men are enthralled by the attention that they get from each other. Showing attention to women is acceptable within boundaries, and this is what a woman wants: if a woman feels the least bit attractive she will also make strides to attract men. And women even dress up on certain days to see how many looks they get and prove their self worth.

What Women Look for in a Man


Status Consciousness As a general rule women know how much they are worth, because they, in contrast to men, can develop an honest opinion of themselves after looking in the mirror. Men, on the other hand, have a narcissistic tendency to give themselves a report card full of As, after they look at themselves in the mirror. However, when it comes to narcissism, there is plenty of it going around with both sexes. As a species, we tend to be status conscious. A woman will not entertain the attentions of a man who is below her unless she is being polite, and neither will a man engage the attentions of a woman who is obviously below him. How Motivated is She to Get into the Relationship Women that get into relationships can be divided into those that are motivated and those that are not motivated. The difference is that women who are motivated take an active role in the relationship, and this can make a big difference. A woman will often make her own moves in order to move the relationship along. You might be talking to a woman and she will go and adjust her bra in the middle of the conversation. Then she might say that she left her cigarette lighter in the car, and that you two should go out to the car and get it. While this might be on the extreme end, it is a big change from women that let things naturally happen, but don't make any moves. In my experience women only do this once they know and like someone, and they realize that things aren't moving along like they should be. In other words, a woman usually has really good reason for doing this.

What Women Look for in a Man Natural Leadership


Perhaps the greatest players are assholes. There is a rumor going around that women are attracted to assholes. This is because the biggest jerks out there often have the prettiest companions. These "assholes" know how to talk to women, know how to make up to women, or they know some trick to keeping women in a relationship with them, because women do not like jerks. Still a lot of jerks end up with beautiful women. So why is this? A good share of successful people have their share of good looking women, but does that mean that success makes people automatically turn into assholes? Too much success, definitely, but I mean medium levels of success that don't lift people into the entitled class? If no, why are so many women running around with jerks? Here is my theory: good looking women cause this problem simply by being good looking. You see , self entitled assholes will only select the prettiest women, and this means that there is a lot of pressure from that group for dates. Secondly, a pretty woman might get to a normal guys head. The way other people start treating him (giving him more status), because he has a good looking girlfriend will elevate him socially, and he will start acting like the assholes the girl tried to avoid in the first place. However, the woman continues to trust him. Here is a secret that can make a big difference in getting women to trust you. Women dig confidence. Success brings with it an inner confidence that women pick up on. The woman uses your confidence to inform herself on whether to trust you. It is very subtle thing, because it is an unconscious process. The woman is looking for someone who is confident enough to make decisions or who has confidence from past successes. The most basic thing that women want is a capable guide. Women are looking for natural leaders. Being a natural leader who is trusted requires having some empathy to those in your care, which goes along with being capable. Some guys have a hard time with the empathy part, because this doesn't come naturally for certain personalities. It also requires "remembering your manners". There is a duality between being macho and being considerate. It is hard to be both. More about this later. Women give a certain amount of trust over to their significant other. Their success depends, in many ways, on the success of their significant other, so they give over their trust without realizing it. I realized this feeling one time when I was flying to Barcelona, Spain. I had no control over whether the plane would make it, so I had to put my trust in the pilot. When you are on a plane you have absolute trust in the pilot who is flying it. The pilot takes the responsibility of flying the plane out of your hands, and you entrust them with your life. That is what being in a relationship is like for a woman. She has to had a lot of trust over to the man, to let 4

What Women Look for in a Man


the man be in control. But in order to keep giving this trust she needs to feel that the man also has her interests in mind. It is a simple bargain. Remembering the needs of your girlfriend will not simply help you at the beginning of your relationship, it will help you throughout the entire relationship, even as it perhaps transitions into marriage. It shows that you merit the trust that is bestowed upon you. You know how women get mad that you don't do something that they didn't tell you to do in the first place? It is because they trusted you to take command and you violated that trust when you forgot to do it. They are probably mad because you forgot to do something and weren't thinking about them. You are expected to know these things. \An airline pilot has the perfect qualities that define the ideal man. Think of the qualities of a pilot; a pilot has confidence to be able to get things done, and is calm and rational. The ideal pilot has a lot of experience, and a good track record of success. Women are intrigued by men who have the ability to do things. They like men who are independent and trustworthy. So try to act calm and rational like a pilot if you want to impress a woman. A woman depends on the man to take control of the relationship. You are the pilot, and you have to make the moves. A woman might put her trust in you to let you do this, but remember, she is depending on you to do it, not you to get reminded by her to do it.

What Women Look for in a Man Planting Seeds and the Honeymoon Phase of the Relationship
A woman is either attracted to you or she isn't./ There is no changing a woman's opinion, and logic won't help, because she has no control over who she is attracted to. Finding someone is a numbers game. Eventually someone is bound to either want you or settle for you. As the saying goes, there are plenty of fish in the sea. Hopefully you have the kind of personality that lets you be nice to people. The only thing that is missing once you have a woman's intrigue, is opening up a window of opportunity for the relationship by showing special kindness to that particular woman. This lets the woman know you like her. Women do the same thing. They give some men, the ones they like, preferential treatment over others. The process of talking to every girl you meet is called Planting Seeds. The Dating Encyclopedia explains what to do: 1. 2. 3. Take nothing personally regardless of what a woman does or does not do. Play! Flirt, laugh, have fun be an enjoyable person to be around. Never give up. Persistence is your key to success.

Planting Seeds is effective for several reasons: First of all, this is a good way for women to meet men, especially if they work in a public area, such as grocery store clerk. Introducing yourself by making small talk puts you into their field of view. It may be hard to make progress, because even though they are more used to strangers coming up to them and talking to them than men are, women are naturally suspicious of strangers. However as the French expression goes: "IL que rit, midi au lit", she who laughs is halfway to the bed already. If a woman is comfortable enough to laugh around you, she is close enough to you that she is starting to like you, and is very close to developing feelings for you. As I mentioned above, a laugh is like a gift. If you are with a woman and you give the gift of laughter, and receive the gift of laughter in return, you are either having fun, or something more serious is happening between you two. Second of all, it is effective because of the persistence factor. People are not always thinking about relationships. If they did life would become a soap opera. No work would get done, as people daydreamed about their lovers instead of focusing on the other parts of life. Being persistent widens the time frame that you make yourself available. Be persistent. There is bound to be a woman that will take you down the line if you have something to offer. However, it has to be the right time for 6

What Women Look for in a Man


her. It is amazing how much women are willing to settle if a man is the least bit able to handle a relationship, if the man offers what the woman wants. Even if the man isn't perfect, women will settle. Women are looking to change men, and they will go into the relationship overestimating their own abilities to change people. Women aren't automatic relationship experts. They don't know what the perfect ingredients of a relationship are, even though they are very good at judging if the relationship they are in is hot or cold. Women aren't even sure why they want specific men, they just go by feelings of the moment. If they are such great relationship experts explain this: why would they want to get into a relationship with a man if there is a language barrier, like many do. This is a relationship that is bound to be superficial through lack of communication. Women overestimate their own ability to solve unsolvable relationship problems, and sometimes don't recognize a doomed relationship from the start. Also, this will be the only time I mention it, but here it is: women might give you a spin, but as a man, if you don't have anything to offer than you shouldn't even be trying in the first place. It will only lead to disappointment. If you don't know how to talk to women, you better start realizing it fast. If you have nothing to offer women, because of your low status, you better start realizing it fast. Women are very practical when it comes to who they date, and if you have either one of those problems, you will be severely disappointed once you get rejected. This will happen once the girl figures it out, no matter what. Figuring Out Your Chances Now that you know what women want out of a relationship, the key is to try to figure out what the woman thinks of you. Either the woman wants to get into a relationship with you or not. If you are interacting offline (interacting online can be very frustrating and I don't recommend it) there is no other way to figure this out other than to engage in conversation in a non-pressured way (online, you would send a casual message). But first decide your basic chances with the candidate you are interested in. Is it a woman who would be interested in having a conversation first place? Is this a woman who would be receptive to your attention? The key is to use deductive logic in order to make these kinds of predictions before you even say a word to her. You will be able to classify her as a type of woman which will stop you wasting your time, and focusing on the wrong women. It also takes the pressure off to think of her as a type of woman, and not as the only woman left in the universe. Fair is fair, because once you talk to her the woman will classify you as a type of man: the friendly outgoing (good looking/ bad looking) type that is not afraid to go up and make casual conversation, and perhaps ask for more. You don't know how she deals with these kinds of men, and if she rejects you it isn't personal, because she has just rejected a particular type of man, and not you in particular. You can make good predictions about women in your culture based upon, attractiveness, age, and dress. I describe some predictions that I can make about women based on American culture 7

What Women Look for in a Man


below. If it was France things might be different, but I did not grow up in France, so here is my personal insight based on my personal culture. The attractiveness of the woman: studies have shown that attractive women have more sex. Here is the deductive logic in action: "This woman is attractive, and attractive women generally have more sex, so she probably is used to having a lot of sex. I am attractive, so I would make a good candidate for this". However, these are just predictions that will be confirmed and denied. The woman might have an invisible disability, have a boyfriend (or several), etc... Anyway you can find all this out, and if she likes you, in the casual conversation you have with her. The way she is dressed: helps to know that she is at least receptive to attention. Women dress sexy from time to time, which can mean anything depending on their culture. Perhaps they do this to get their way, if they are in a male dominated culture, like Russia. In some places, like Latin America, showing some cleavage while grocery shopping is an iron clad signal that the woman is looking for a boyfriend. It all depends on how the signaling system in the culture works. In America you still have to ask yourself why is she doing this? Is she looking to attract a specific man in her life, in the phase where she is trying to find a man, or is she just doing it to get looks so that she can see if shes still got it?

What Women Look for in a Man Building Intrigue


So now comes the big question. How do you get the woman to be interested in you? This next sentence may change your life! What motivates women to be interested in men is intrigue. Intrigue, you know, like what makes you watch a movie or TV show from beginning to end. For example: a man using the intrigue of his job to his advantage. I went to a European Meet Up in San Francisco, and overheard a conversation between a nerdy looking guy (who wasn't European), and a lady from Singapore, who I guess was there to meet Europeans. Who knew that in addition to its intended purpose this Meet Up was also used by people to get hooked up. Anyway, without much flirtation the guy matter of factually said that he worked for a bio tech company. The girl from Singapore who was obviously there because she wanted to grab someone from America was quick to give her number. All it took was for this guy to say this one thing, and she was willing to give it a try. He didn't have to tell her his whole life story, he just had to drop a super interesting fact about himself. I don't know what happened next, but I am sure he at least got a date. Being from another culture might give you automatic intrigue. If you are an American in France and speak French rejoice that some women like foreigners. There are even some women in France who want American men. If you are a just another person without any natural intrigue that comes to mind, the biggest game changer in getting into a relationship is how much intrigue you can manufacture. This goes all the way from every step in online dating, to picking up a girl at the mall. The weirder your personal headline in the email you send a potential online date, the better. One headline could be, "A Stick Insect walks Into a Bar". It needs to be something that will get the womans attention and that she will remember. Otherwise your ad will get lost among the other personal ads that she is inundated with. The rest of the personal ad would go something like this: Then there is picking up people in the real world. If you are going to do this you need to manufacture intrigue by "building yourself up" as a person. If your plan is to make daytime pickups, it is absolutely necessary to build yourself up first. When you stop the woman in her tracks with a dramatic way to initiate conversation, she is going to be intrigued, because she is going to think to herself: "who is this person, and why is he so special that he thinks he can stop me in my tracks?". If you follow it up with a line like, "I had to stop you to tell you that you are incredibly beautiful", you will have her attention for three seconds to three minutes. This is where the building up comes in. Before you do this, you have to convince yourself that you are the kind of person that is special enough to stop girls in their tracks, and keep them back from whatever activity they are doing. Building yourself up, involves making notes about your passions and dreams, and 9

What Women Look for in a Man


remembering the things that make you an individual. You need to be able to remember a few good things about yourself that you can use in your conversations with women. Acting Like the Alpha Male According to an unspoken doctrine of fairness, a woman wants her equal in status. Her boobs and looks give her a lot of status, so she wants someone who deserves her. If you have completely convinced yourself to be this kind of man, at least you won't show her that you are below her. Showing that you are below her can be very unattractive to a woman. Remember, the woman wants the kind of man that deserves her hotness. For instance, if you bribe her with gifts too much, and take her to expensive restaurants, she will think to herself, what is this guy trying to compensate for?. Most women would rather date a poor guy with no money, as long as he is charming, funny, and a fun date, rather than a rich guy who buys them things and is stuffy and boring. Here are tricks to acting like the Alpha Male: When you go on a date remain cool. You need to seem like you are above it all. Women like the quality of independence. Try not to get to emotional about things. If you are the kind of guy that has a hard time keeping his emotions to himself, you are going to have to work on it. Remember, the guidelines for the date are: be cool, and act naturally confident. What will happen is the women will either be intrigued by you or not. You won't help yourself if you get all excited or act like a goof on the first date. When on a first date you are making a first impression. This is your mission. You have to stay the course on this mission no matter what. If a woman says something to you that makes you feel nervous, angry, upset and you feel like you're going to get overly emotional and say something you will regret, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, don't say anything that will make you regret having opened your mouth. You can ruin the potential relationship right there. For example, if a woman says she is seeing other guys, she may be testing you. The correct response is to say something like: it's your life, I'm not your father, have fun.. This will make you seem more confident, because you don't really care what she does. If you can say this without getting emotional, you are way ahead of other guys. Walk slowly and upright. When your walking, always walk with your shoulders back and slowly. Stand upright with good posture and stick your chest out. Look around like you own the place. When sitting lean back in your chair and act overly comfortable. Maintain eye contact with the woman you are with. This shows that you are interested 10

What Women Look for in a Man


in her. You can tell if the woman is interested in you by how much eye contact she is maintaining with you. Don't act sloppily. Do things deliberately. Don't mumble or make careless movements. You need to show that you are in control of yourself. What Separates Alpha Males from the Rest of the Male Population Humans are status conscious. There are people at the top who have much more serotonin than people at the bottom, just like in all mammals. <insert chart here> People with more serotonin have less inhibition when it comes to stepping on other people's toes (figuratively), and thus act more erratically to serve their own interests. You know, like rock stars. If you don't understand this read a pamphlet on Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors. Convince yourself that you are the top dog by using inner strength lessons from "Daytime Pickup Revealed". INNER STRENGTH LESSON 1: MY PRESENCE ALONE IS VALUABLE TO OTHERS You need to think of good ways to capture someone's attention by talking about yourself. And that you should imagine that you are going to give the person you are going to talk to "a million bucks in the next five minutes". This will change the way you talk about yourself. You will be full of conviction of your own value. INNER STRENGH LESSON 2: TAKE WHAT'S ON YOURS! NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR WHO YOU ARE AND THE TINGS YOU DO! YOU ARE YOUR OWN BOSS! Liberate yourself, and have fun. You can do anything you want, whenever you want, wherever you want. And you can get away with it. If you break out of the prison of your mind, it will build intrigue in the girl you are picking up. The more leadership you show the better. When enchanting the girl: It is always better to ask for forgiveness then to ask for permission. Make your own decision and take your own stand. Don't wait for others to make decisions for you. Voice your own opinions. Don't try overly hard to impress. A good MOTTO is: "I'm not trying to impress you... And you sure have to do more than that to impress me". If you show you are the Alpha Male you will build intrigue.

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What Women Look for in a Man

Not Caving in to what the Girl Wants Online or offline, one last way to build intrigue is your busy social life. The woman will be thinking, "what makes him so popular". It is good if you actually have a social life, but if you don't, be sure to make one up. Don't focus to much on the girl when you are first dating her, you might scare her away. If she asks to plan something on Tuesday, say that you have something going on Tuesday and ask if you can meet on Wednesday. Women do the same thing to men. Show Passion It helps if you know yourself. Be aware of your goals, plans and attributes. Once you can act that certain way to stop a woman in her tracks and keep her captivated, you have mastered the art of intrigue. You need to be able to show passion. Showing passion for something means that are able and not afraid to try things. You need to seem interesting to the woman, so if you can show a strong passion for something, she will be immediately more interested in you.

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What Women Look for in a Man Getting an Answer


As I mentioned above, a relationship starts with showing kindness, such as gifts or favors. This courtship ritual precedes the actual serious relationship, and has for ever. In fact this is what our cousins the chimps do. The chimps hand out food to the chimpettes they like, and the chimpettes hand out food to the chimps they like. They then start to care for each other in other ways (grooming). Every human relationship goes through an intel (flirtation) phase, and then this gift giving phase (a gift can be anything, including a compliment in a text), and then finally to something only humans can do: communicate seriously with each other. In sequence the steps to a relationship are: the honeymoon phase, and then finally serious direct communication. People move from small talk to meaningful talk as any friendship progresses, but the direct communication between couples is almost a deeper level than the conversation between friends, because the truth is more naked There is an intel component to the honeymoon phase, through flirting. When people flirt they are finding out about the other person. The actual courtship ritual may happen before the first date, and even when people are just meeting each other for the first time, through the insta-date. Is where the man gives gifts of meaningful conversation even though he barely knows the woman he is talking to. Getting to direct communication quickly takes a lot of nerve. Jumping into something serious with a stranger can be intimidating. It would be nice if there were a social convention for this kind of thing (Austria) When you meet a woman it opens up the "window of opportunity" for the relationship. This is the period where you first come up on the womans radar and she takes you seriously, but before the two of you have gotten used to each other, and don't take each other seriously. However, it could happen earlier; in Austria among teens, all it takes is for the guy to ask the girl, "Willst du mit mir gehen?", which means "do you want to hook up?", for the guy to firmly establish that he is interested in the girl. If the girl is interested she will say "yes" or "maybe". If the girl says anything other than yes, the guy walks away, and otherwise they hold hands, cementing the relationship. If the girl says no, then the guy is sure that the girl doesn't like him, and can stop wasting time thinking about it. Getting an Answer on if the Girl Likes You The American system works like this. If a guy meets a girl during the day time he asks her for her phone number, or if they can go out for a cup of coffee. The girl may respond that she is to busy to go on a date. The guy, then, is left wondering if she really is busy or not. Then he has to 13

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analyze what he did to figure out if she had a problem with him or he just has to change his approach. The trick is to think about things from the girl's perspective. What does she have going on in her life. Is how she flirts with you how she treats all men, or does she treat you a certain way in particular? Then there is the particular problem of girls who are paid to be friendly to men, such as waitresses. The intentions of these girls are hidden away and stored in a lock box. They might even lie if they are asked if they have a boyfriend. The important question to ask is what does the girl see in you? If you were this girl and some guy who was you walked into a bar, would he just be a client to you, or is there some motivation to get to know him? If a girl is surrounded by potential guys, only the most shocking things will get her attention. But even then.... whats that they say about porn stars all being lesbians. If she has to deal with guys all day, she might have guy fatigue just like those porn stars. Make the girl laugh. The more comfortable she is with you, the easier for her to overcome the threshold of a decision in whether to go out with you. The more comfortable the woman is the lower that threshold becomes. Once you can tell she is comfortable, all it takes is asking her. That takes a bit of logistics and can be complicated. You need to ask before you can receive. The girl might even be waiting for you to ask her. You never know. Americans tend to ask for a specific date, since it is awkward asking, "Would you like to go out with me? ", because "going out with" sounds juvenile. They ask something like, "Would you like to go out for coffee sometime?". This is the least direct way that you can put: "Would you like to date.". Confusing, unless you ask, "Would you like to go out for coffee sometime.", and the woman asks, "For what, a date?". email the author : lissterm@yahoo.com for feedback

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