DEEP TRIGGER SPECIFICATION

Congratulations! Your subconscious “Manchurian Candidate” conditioning is now complete. Naturally you have no memory of this painful process. Under new labor laws, we are required to inform you of the visual cue, or “trigger,” that activates your post-hypnotic response:
[Brainwasher: Please check box(es) of appropriate visual stimulus or stimuli:]


Cat


Hairdresser


Wombat


Steve Jobs


Aurora borealis


Saturn’s moon Enceladus


Newton fractal (Zn–1) ≥ order 3


Other
[attach picture]

By law we must also indicate the likely severity of your implanted reaction:
[Brainwasher: Please mark on Severity Spectrum the appropriate degree of consequence of the subject’s reaction:]

Forget to call parents

Excommunication

Murder, pillage, plunder

Planetary annihilation

Trivial

Noteworthy

Sensational

Unmentionable

Terminal

Leave extravagant tip

Lose job, flee country

1-4 Horsemen of Apocalypse

Michael Bay movie

Copyright ©2009 Ninjalistics. A Ninjagraphic by Allen Varney. Photo of Steve Jobs by Ben Stanfield (acaben), released on Flickr under a Creative Commons license. Find additional dismaying surprise notifications at www.ninjalistics.com

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful