My Heart’s Whispers

By> Jadhav Nilesh Ashok [Nilookumar], Vitthal Nagar, Soygaon; Tal: Malegaon [Nasik]

1. My Heart
One and just one Came in my life Not as a wife The girl smiling My lovely lovable Heart, obedient to me Suddenly woke up And revolted: Like an impatient brat Jumped out unknowingly And went to my lass. “O my Heart Don’t go away Hurting me,” I screamed; but She’d gone away With my dancing heart_

Part of my body, alas! I lose; who’ll attend? Now I stand alone Like a statue lonely On the barren hill Waiting when my dear will come. Though days, years, ages Pass by peacefully; yet, I’ll wait, wait and wait At the gate to get What I’ve most lost.

2. Cunning sisters
Sex, O damn Demon, Love, you changing cheat_ Both you cunning sisters Hand in hand together Can’t deceive or loot me. Both you beautiful thieves! Beware, beware! Police in my brain there Now on my guard, Who, ever, pricks his baton On my impatiently dancing Dear heart, so near ever. The trained army to check Both thee and thy actions; and If need be, to confine you On thy full swing swift actions If turn speedily spontaneous Like robbers sporadically flood To cause uncertain anarchy. I may borrow more army, Right from the books outside Or awaken the special guards Now sleeping in my chambers To come to me and guard And protect me properly. Be alert, be cautious; Else, you’d be confined And imprisoned absolutely Behind the bars of my chest For ever, never to let to escape; Or you’d be banished

Out of me, closing my doors Perfectly and permanently. So, remember, Be good, nice gals, right? Not witches to be controlled.

3. In Cold Night

One cold night Came in my life In winter season. Shivering constantly Like a tuning-fork Stood I in dark corner. Almost all alone Except myself Struggling cold winds. Showers soon swept in Beating me relentlessly And softly sometimes. No wood nearby To bathe me With warm breeze. Thunderstorm roaring As does a dinosaur To threaten me. My heart thumping To come out, To be relieved and relaxed.

My blood pumping May turn into Springs erupting.

“Help me, help me,” I often yelled Alas! None came. Alone like a ghost I wandered Through vales and forests. I searched for someone To take me In his arms or lap. Oh, none and nothing But only darkness Carried out the job.

4. The New World
Till my eighteen The huge world outside

Knew me not. I, in my world evergreen, Would wander gaily With my cat. Pleasure there everywhere That I found aplenty And enjoyed. In the word outside, nowhere Find I people gay And overjoyed. Friend mine somewhere Trained well and fine In the social school; He found me stand nowhere But in wine, making Myself a fool. “Don’t take me out from my world,” I begged with my voice down. He dragged me mercilessly Looking upon me a sack Of heavy burden and fully loaded. The world outside me Seemed to me, then, new brand. Everyone stranger to me And I to him, “O god!” “How can I escape?” I asked me. Its desolate, desperate entity Stroke my heart like a bullet. The picture opposite to my senses Threw a dagger through my spine. I begged,

“O god! Give all pleasure Of my world in me to this one.”

5. My Schoolmaster
My great schoolmaster How little he knew! Yet showed he knew Everybody and everything. Taught he always Poetry in shady classroom_

The wonderful poetry On yellow pages with torn edges With a monotonous tone. Happy events he told With a grim face, and sad things With happy lines and voice. Shrill voice he possessed While quarreling turns hoarse: One day he’ll be awarded In quarrelsome competitions Of fights and quarrels. His some dim words echoing That he knew only. Then, guys on benches yawning Like crocodiles tend to hibernate. Always in hurry he walks about Sweating and panting ever; So, he’s the fan of fans. In ongoing debates He thrusts heavily Like a ram to a tree. He does nothing but Only blabbers and mutters Knowing nothing of the matter When in excitement. How unkind turns he Towards English, you know? Simply relentlessly crushes it down Under his bulldozer-tongue. He likes songs to listen and sing; When listens, he dances as a dragon. When he sings, mosquitoes around him

Suddenly fly away into nothing. His hoarse song reminded me My friend’s old radio with torn speakers. But I like my teacher, For he has an amazing nature That of friendly attitude with Fair, frank and fine feature.

6. The Prologue to the University Tale
The grand university Landed in the city So cultured and cultivated On the rich land based The campus big and beautiful With trees, gardens full. The monstrous new building On it the flag fluttering

Angrily showing a pompous dignity. The pupils’ actions always naughty The staff and workers ever haughty Bend before the ‘big’ and ‘beauty’. The departments in net Great in number set Apart like strangers, Around which sit scavengers. A classroom each_ a small factory Of knowledge boxes every Kind and style, hardly mobile, vile In manners of men, Ever in their den Of private life Monotonous strife to gain At the cost of pain What they desire. The rooms of college buildings Seem neat; faint colourings On them faded away They look pale, not gay. The rooms dusty and old Glasses of the windows hold Themselves somehow Glistening then and now Faintly against light. The roads left and right Enter somewhere and bend. People there spend A moment for a walk On foot and always talk

Of burning matters and issues That issue from the tissues Of various lanes and corners. The sun hot like burners High above the sky Makes its arduous fly To hide its bright face Behind the building and moves Downwards behind the horizon. The university hostels old and new Almost unattended and facilities few. Always crowding with bustling parasites Count more than hosts, coming during nights. Then fleeting at the dawn perfectly well, The rectors yawning in their chairs dwell, Shrugging off their duties and works, Yet demand more royalties and perks. Hostel problems for them a usual ache, They do much little for the students’ sake. “Problems are symbolic of the hostels” The attendant ever to me tells. In the hostel is my room somewhere; Quarrelsome guys around I bear. The hostel is awake round the clock: Some boys learn, while others talk. The cars and trucks run to and fro, Along the nearby road trees grow Slowly casting their shadows; Behind them lie green meadows. Here and there litter small quarters For the administrators and teachers:

They have shadowy gloomy looks Covered green over from corners and nooks. Boys and girls become friends and lovers Throw upon themselves chit-chat showers. Many a time they seem not flirt Their amorous looks get hearts hurt: They first cast those honey glances, Their hearts are hurt by lovely lances. Some are shy; some are bold, Some shiver lonely; others caress in cold. Little tots play; the old bold nearby Never ask lovers, saying, ‘who’ and ‘why’. Here everyone’s free and seem detached By vanity, dogma fixed attached. Everywhere here the love-birds sing, For some lonely ones, a sharp bloody sting. I’m alone among many people here; My beloved far away, yet so near. None ever hears anything that counts I’ve not disclosed my close whole accounts.

7. Dragon
Pity on me my lord! Protect me, shield me From that stupendous stroke Of that so long a tail. Oh, so swift and sudden Like a stroke of flash Instantaneously piercing the sky As does the arrow within The twinkling of an eye Goes through the deer’s heart Wounding and bleeding profusely. Look, look my lovely lord How he stares at me with greed With his two glowing embers

That constantly emit fires So hot, melting my man_ Unbending, unyielding then; Plucking the cord in me That time so taut, now limp. My strong and long every limb Now vibrates like a tuning-fork. How rough and tough his skin! He wants to rub himself against me; How horrid! See, how merciless! O my Lord, my divine friend Throw in me through my throat The particles of that power Which would stand me boldly Against what you may call The deadly dangerous defiant dragon.

8. Touch Me Not
Touch me not you brat Tough like iron, cast in mould Terribly hammered soon after Solidly shaped in fair statue, With my limbs properly trimmed In perfect, proper, sexy symmetry. Hotness of my metal moulded, Yet young as a chubby child. So touch me not you brat That’d burn you beyond that You usually marginally imagine. Then think thoughtfully throughout Before you dare touch me! Fairly fiery for fair touch To some soft solid single heart

Is my boiling, burning, bare body. So, touch me ever not, but Go away, away beyond the bay Lying lovely cool and calm.

9. Dear Distracted
Dear distracted friends Confuse not yourselves Worry not about your marks You get in eerie exams: Marks are mere figures, No doubt cannot determine You next bright futures. They creep on your mark-sheets Like tiny tough tricky ants. Are you afraid of such Tiny creatures so much? Leave your fears aside Next you should decide About your life so wide That you’ve to ride, Thought it to guide.

Your feet are now tired; Yet so strong to travel Through the desert of gravel And sand very weird. Dear distracted friends Confuse not yourselves Worry not about your marks You get in those horrible exams. Marks are mere spots That design your mark-sheets And not your life-screens_ The great gorgeous canvass. Ensure it to clean Making it tidy and neat, So simply sweet, lit and bright. Swoop sharply, swift and sifting Like a proud, powerful kite. Cut asunder the cocky air_ The blockade on your way Make it ever cocksure That it says not, “Nay”. Fly on and on, restless Leaving behind your traces.

10.Thoughts
Thoughts come out Bold, yet tender. Butterflies light Shining colour At one place And then another; Strife and race To drink nectar. They flicker Restless, ceaseless Unbound recur On themes poesy. The Soul that’s mine; No vision, very often Comes out as a ghost. Great piercing shout Breaking almost Thick peels of things

Gets into and With its stings Sucks up and Comes out fed And fully sated.

11.The Voices
I heard the voices Dim and dark Rising and spreading, Melting in air, Striking the drums Of my ears, As my dear mother With her soft hands Taps me gently While in a sleep. I heard the voices Jolly and jovial With their jelly, Rubbing my heart As some man Does gentle massage With his own art And his good heart

While I lie down. I heard these voices Yet so far, Soft and tender Growing loud and Then weak again. Their mystery God knows And they only. I heard these voices Once very familiar Also warm and gentle, Binding my heart To their cores; But now stranger From long range Distant and dim. Now… Slowly fading away In air.

12.Anonymous
Lord’s splendor Spreads out the sky Golden simmer recur To give us joy. The broad blue with gold Gem on the ring In gray, dark cold Tense throats sing. Tranquil times Spread their shoots Make some chimes And some distant hoots. Houses lonely Stand far away Shrubs those only In strong wind sway.

A barren rock Much frayed away A turkey cock Sings in May. The next day The cock is meat. So many men say, “O damn heat!” “Go to the hell You damn witch Don’t to me tell My heart will twitch”.

13.Tears
How much my tears cost? Is weeping crime at last? Lovers regard tears Of their ladies as pearls Not to be ever lost Much dear will they cost. When I weep or sob, They mock and say, “The lad has grown weak.” And then laugh and pay Some consolation that’s fake. O Jesus, tell me please How can I convince My tears are real tears That my eyes now evince; They are not mere waters That stream down Away from the town, And just flow away; What more should I say? “Leave it, leave it,

You have your own work To do, just leave it For your Lord’s sake.”

14.The Worldly World
Though you come and go The world is as it is The seeds that you sow They grow and, then, perish. Whether you laugh and cry The least the world bothers A girl’s immediate shy First comes, then disappears. Birds were aplenty then Now far from sight Hardly one is seen What a wonderful plight! Finally remain forests few These friends brutally slain Now everywhere dirt grew That’s the thing of pain. Safety, security, silence Themselves seem unsafe Things as pity and patience

Much behind left. Courage gone, race grew The moments of joy Have grown few Man simply a toy.
15.

Hear, O Hear

Friends Mine Dear Hear me, hear My voice growing feeble In daily din unable To raise to that level Which you can attain. My deep distant voice Echoed and vanished. I yelled again But listened me none. I beat a large drum, Alas! It was dumb. Danced I daily, Sang I gaily I knew not why Now I feel shy To dance and sing To play on a string. Now I’m unable To defeat a debacle. Stand I here alone Hopes all gone.

Somewhere, where? Tell me, tell me Friends mine dear, Hear, O hear.

16.Leave Me Alone
Throw my body away Dead and motionless On the garbage; I say, “What use it has unless Touched by my beloved?” Decay my body, decay. You worms, eat it away. Listen, “Attend me nobody. Give me my own way To my own beautiful paradise.” No need of any man To lift me to churchyard. Far away my spirit ran. What use of a bodyguard? Just leave me alone.

17.Indians
Dear dogmatic Indians Strive to receive the old New comes late to them To them old is ever gold. They’re kind at occasions Sometimes icy-cold. Of what kind is their mould? The world, they live, is no paradise For many amongst them are parasites Who, to weaken it, find some device To strike it with all their might. Pollution, population, poverty Their ever beloved friends Who always give them good company. Their queer mischievous trends Are not always in sure symphony. Sometimes giggle, sometimes laugh Sometimes mimic, sometimes mock. Puffing themselves like a climbing graph, Tread their way like a Turkey cock. Wise they seem, wisdom little in size. Few are duties but demand many rights. Always they dream the golden sun to rise To get it arrange no special flights.

18.

Fatima Begam

Fatima Begam rushed along Though thick long lanes To see her baby safe and sound Riots burning all around. Poisonous gas of Gujarat Pervaded long and wide Hatred, cruelty, severe pride Made many men murderously mad With a severe fad of fighting fights. Little boys feared, women were scared, All windy passions far furiously flared. Fatima Begam rushed along Through thick long lanes To see her husband all around, To know him come home safe and sound. Everyone running, feared and cried; Echoes of sounds heard far and wide. Brave bulgy guys with their fists Breaking many toes, necks and wrists. Poor people underneath crudely crushed, Their cries and yells much brutally hushed. Fearful faces with floods of tears, All wholly lost_ dears and cheers. Fatima Begam rushed along Though thick long lanes To see her house if safe and sound

Everything burning all around. Virulent virtues of heroic art, The strong and sturdy with false report, Ran with rave by the weapon support That others gave them free of charge. All they entered a big garage. You wise readers can very well guess How dire and deadly could be the mess That brought more strong strain and stress. Fatima Begam came nearby The temple turgid with tumult. The bad boys of that Satan strong Made her stop and did much wrong. All they gheraoed and torn her tummy To make black caves in her mangled mummy. Burnt her body, they threw on stones, All flesh burnt and left only bones. The riots burnt those poor and weak; Everywhere reigned only tears and shriek. Riots rigorous of every such sort Will ever come home to lately depart.

19.The Burning Train
That moving train puffed ceaselessly, Ran very madly with the “zhuk, zhuk, zhuk” Someone with a weird hot whim, Got berserk, And pulled the strong chain ruthlessly. The mad moving train suddenly screeched All the faces appeared as if bleached. The trained howled greatly With a sharp, strong whistle. The sounds loud came running fast then Shouting violently, making a strong tussle. The men inside were in hurry and bustle. Children began crying, women were scared; But the men outside far happily cheered Like large demons too violently roared When they had Great War with gods. The madness they’d so long reared; Like a big bomb then fully exploded Set ablaze that train thus stopped. The flames gaily dancing wholly ate it. Now, only the carcasses lonely stood Riots that ensued made no good To the whole nation, that gravely groaned. Too great long the event will be moaned.

20.

Karim Chacha

Karim Chacha of so small a repute, Yet unsuspected with little dispute_ Man of forty, still young bachelor: Small visage and black coated colour, Large-browed, wide-eyed, pug-nosed, Rather horror-looking, yet composed; Poverty-ridden, often scolded; Sometimes bullied, much discarded. Now badly in need of some small work. He wandered lonely round the clock. Some day moving through a thin lane Of his town, men away to work gone. One girl-child there lonely stood At one door, to him she glanced: The child was naked with a great, pretty doll. Karim Chacha gave her too slow a call. He wanted her, then, come soon to him And kiss him slowly without any shame. The child credulous came to him running To expect a chocolate or some tasty pudding. He carried her away, a father he seemed But father he lacked, simply manhood stood. He took the child at that cozy corner Of deadly silence_ a secluded wide snare! She was white with small red lips That the man brutally kissed and rubbed her hips, Started licking the clothless child Passions violently rushing up and wide. The child began crying to make some noise Which he quickly pressed by mean cruel poise. Hands manly wild wholly blocked her mouth,

Caressed her tightly with manners uncouth And sucked from her the most vital sap And threw the small body in the nearby gap. The child delicate there quickly died: Without any noise took a heavenly ride. The man criminal far feared at first; But quickly faded away, quenching satanic thirst.

21.Two Worlds
When two worlds meet

They cannot be separate But become one universe As ink and water. You and I _ the two worlds; You cannot establish relations_ Relations, mere conveniences Or sticky labels or brands That glitter like cheap tinkers. Do you want showy glitter Or some real substance? We are not simply impulse-traders Like many husbands and wives; We are rather love-suppliers Without profit-loss considerations_ We do not calculate exchanges: We exist not simply to exchange Though the world is that stock market Where people measure things And then exchange as traders. Are we traders or donors? Oh, don’t care for this world_ The biggest, most vicious business house. Dear ones do not trade but give. We are the bees in one beehive That daily hum together And sing their common song.

22.Dignified Statue
O dignified black statue!

Whose body beautifully mobile And eyes crystal clear: Your glance so bewitching; Your voice so sweet, And the tone ringing Make me feel glad. O lady beloved, loving lass Whom to love deep and broad I’d relinquish everything And anyone between us. That pardah should be no barrier Nor bonds of moribund morality Nor even underclothes: We will stick to each other Rubbing so slowly & silently To that point of ecstasy Which none has attained. But oh sweet lady… Would you consent the union_ The merge of our beings Into that zygote there Where another one so sweet Would come into being? Tell me, tell me O dear I’m so eager, so impatient To move to that paradise Where none would disturb us Nor appose, nor threaten.

23.Tiny Tinsel Town
Somewhere in holy, royal Rajkot A man of great fortune

Established near the city center Where his dream-dust settled down There he wonderfully built His tiny tinsel town. It’s a snug dwelling place Where rich naughty goblins Find some sort of satanic solace In teasing teachers apace. The great gorgeous ma’am Always moves with a swift motion Searching eyes running everywhere But her mind remains calm. Boys always babbling, girls giggling Teachers talking, workers simply walking. Wow, what a soothing scene! I can’t throw such wonderful and green Images in my mind’s dark dustbin. Ladies there usually loitering, Smacking their red lipstick lips, Churn out continually endless gossips About the city’s news, “affairs” new. The school building’s working crew Stand nearby, watching lazy dew. Complaints ever lodged here and there By some Tom, Dick and Harry; “Oh, my god, I’m extremely sorry”, Says a guilty one when subtly caught. Anybody entering the building Might find his stable mind Running mad and getting distraught. The branch of Human Resource So much less concerned about

Where the school goes perforce. The mentor’s long poking snout With her funny language clout Lies buried in fierce forceful fight In chambers with members galore. This can surely bring therefore, In that school, unbearable bubbly blight. One tall, brave Dinesh Nair_ A man of very tough energy Working with so great a synergy Has now stood a little away And rests on his joyful darling bay. Sachchu, with his large busy coir, To have some name acquire, Sings a sweet song with a great bang Giving some ladies so sweet a pang Of joy and laughter. The famous school, floating here and there On time-bound Destiny’s uncertain rafter, Needs now a new year’s new chapter. But in the school building, certain cocks crow, Crows caw, cats mew, sparrows chirp, eagles watch And vile vultures with their red hawkish eyes Swoop, trying to catch a little prey Running limp and yards away. One pious soul had once there come Untouched, unmoved in the pseudo-modern city Declaring with a loud utterance His moves and motives steeped in pity. Towards the googly guys, he showed compassion And taught them many things with great satisfaction. But they turned against him_ ungrateful brats:

They joined their hands with ‘polite’ pussy cats And hanged him high on the tall mighty shafts. All the school cheered with a sudden great joy_ And shot sticky comments about the ploy on the ‘toy’ That hanged so loose and lost, Surrounded by friends, flies and passersby. He soon resurrected on the school building Looking lovingly on the people below, saying, “O Lord, forgive them, pity them They didn’t know what they did Everyone in the school is your kid Let them enjoy and beat a large drum.”

24.Let my Penis Dance
O my gal, don’t run away; I’m your pal, my heart does sway. I won’t let go a little chance; Let’s run on that far away sand: My feet will run & my heart will beat, But also, let my penis dance.

This my freedom I bluntly swear That I’ll keep it from despair. Come here, Love, my little Dove. Don’t feel shy and go awry; Come and see that long stretched beach, Cords of bonds there we’ll breach. Come and rest, Love, in my arms; Bathe me wholly with your charms. Hold me hard and show love-card, Rub me, kiss me; be my guard: Sleep on me & cover all me; Move against me, Love, to and fro: All passions on my heart here grow. I will never lose a single chance; Walk here slow and hold my hand. Our throats here hum, your lips expand; And then there make my penis dance.