Cockney Rhyming Slang

What's a Cockney?
A true Cockney is someone born within the sound of Bow Bells. (St Mary-le-Bow Church in Cheapside, London). However the term Cockney is now loosely applied to many born outside this area as long as they have a "Cockney" accent or a Cockney heritage. The Cockneys have their own secret language known only to the working class and lower class people of London. The Cockney accent is heard less often in Central London these days but is widely heard in the outer London boroughs, the London suburbs and all across South East England. It is common in Bedfordshire towns like Luton and Leighton Buzzard, and Essex towns such as Romford.

What's Rhyming Slang?
Rhyming Slang phrases are derived from taking an expression which rhymes with a word and then using that expression instead of the word. For example the word "look" rhymes with "butcher's hook". In many cases the rhyming word is omitted - so you won't find too many Londoners having a "bucher's hook" at this book, but you might find a few having a "butcher's".

Why is Cockney Rhyming Slang called so?
A Cockney is a Londoner; the original definition was someone born near enough to hear the bells of Bow, which meant people in the east of the city. The word Cockney means the egg of a cockerel (male hen) and was meant as an insult, implying dishonesty in business deals by trying to sell non-existent or low quality goods, or so the story goes. The term is now used happily and proudly by the people of the east and north of London, who regard themselves as the 'real' Londoners in a very cosmopolitan city where a lot of the population have come in from other areas of the country or abroad. As well as having a distinctive pronunciation and many grammatical features, the language of London is most notable for its Rhyming Slang. This consists of using a phrase that rhymes, sounds the same, as the word you want to say, so 'telephone' becomes 'dog and bone'. Unfortunately, many of the phrases then lose the second word, making it very hard for the outsider to guess the original meaning; 'rabbit' for 'talk' comes from the phrase 'rabbit and pork', but few would be able to guess it. A lot of the original rhyming slang appeared among the market traders in the east end of London in the 19th century, but it is still used and new words and phrases are being invented all the time. At the moment, it is very fashionable to use famous people's names, so the DJ Pete Tong is used meaning 'wrong''thing's have gone Pete Tong'.

-This table will help you to understand Cockney Rhyming Slang…


1st (first class degree)

Geoff Hurst

He managed a Geoff [Geoff Hurst was a soccer player] He’s got his Desmond. I got a Desmond but he only managed a Douglas. Let's make it a Leo Sayer. Let's make it a Gary Player. He went to the pub all Jack. I'm all pat tonight. Looks like I'm on my Todd tonight. [Todd Sloan was a famous jockey] He broke his chalk. He was promoted in the daft. He's off and joined the Kate. [Kate Carney (18691950), a comedienne, was born into a music hall family in London. She made her first stage appearance at the Albert Music Hall, Canning Town, and later became famous for her cockney character songs. These songs established her at the top of the bill and she was described as 'The Cockney Queen'] I’m ‘aving terrible trouble with me April. I gave him a good kick up the Aris. See also bottle.

2:2 (lower second class degree) 3rd (third class degree) All Dayer (all day drinking session) All Dayer (all day drinking) Alone Alone Alone Arm Army Army

Desmond Tutu Douglas Hurd Leo Sayer Gary Player Jack Jones Pat Malone Todd Sloan Chalk Farm Daft and Barmy Kate Karney

Arse Arse

April in Paris Aristotle=Bottle=Bottle and Glass=Arse; therefore, Aris=Arse Bottle and Glass Khyber Pass Rolf Harris Elephant & Castle Jam Roll Merry Old Soul Mrs. Chant Cadbury Snack

Arse Arse Arse Arsehole Arsehole Arsehole Aunt Back

I gave him a good kick up the bottle. Stick it up your khyber. She kicked him in the Rolf. He's a bit of an elephant. That geezer is a right jam roll. ‘e’s a bit of a merry old soul. He didn't know what to get his Mrs. Chant for Christmas. Me cadbury's playing me up.


Back Back Back Bad Balls (testicles) Balls (testicles)

Hammer and Tack Hat Rack Union Jack Sorry and Sad Berlin Walls Cobbler's Awls

Ooh! Me 'ammer and tack's playing me up again. He fell off the roof and broke his hat rack. My old Union Jack's giving me gyp something chronic. That dinner was a bit sorry. Me pants are too tight and making me berlins wobbly. Go on! Kick him in the cobblers! [It also can be used to express disbelief, such as "Cobblers! That's not the way it is."] He gave him a kick in the corfies [The pronunciation is corfie, not coffee] I got him in his niagara's. He nearly got hit in the orchestra. I kicked this geezer straight in the Royal Alberts. I like a gertie on my cereal [Possibly an old music hall star] I’m off to the armitage [Armitage Shank is the maker of fine porcelain fixtures found in washrooms everywhere] I won't be long - just going to the cab rank. He lost his house to the iron. Gotta get a cock & hen from the J Arthur. He's off to the Sherman. I'm going 'round the tommy to pay in a gooses. [See also Wank] I'm off to the Jack. [See also 'Alone' and Bar (pub)] I saw him at the near. I’m off to Dover to get me barnet sorted. He’s three stops down from Plaistow [From the London Underground District Line] He's wheeling his cock 'round the market. [In the north this expression can also refer to a friend, as in "Hello me old cock sparrow"] I’m just going for a steffi. I'm off to Uncle Ted. Can I buy you a pig? 'ow about a Brittney?" [Brittney Spears is a popular singer]

Balls (testicles)

Coffee Stalls

Balls (testicles) Balls (testicles) Balls (testicles) Banana Bank

Niagara Falls Orchestra Stalls Royal Albert Hall Gertie Gitana Armitage Shank

Bank Bank Bank Bank Bank Bar (pub) Bar (pub) Barber Barking (mad) Barrow

Cab Rank Iron Tank J. Arthur Rank Sherman Tank Tommy Tank Jack Tar Near and Far Dover Harbour Three stops down from Plaistow Cock Sparrow

Bath Bed Beer Beers

Steffi Graf Uncle Ted Pig's Ear Brittney Spears


Believe Belly Belly

Adam and Eve Auntie Nellie Derby Kelly

I don't Adam and Eve it! [Usually full slang expression is used] I punched him in the Auntie but he didn't even notice. That's the stuff for you Derby Kell; makes you fit and it makes you well [From old cockney song Boiled Beef and Carrots - pronounced Darby] Look at the new delhi on him! That blokes a bit leo after all. [The late Leo Fender was the inventor of the Stratocaster guitar] 'e's stoke he is. [See also 'Bent (gay)'] You're not behind with the rent? Bet you any money e's a duke. That bloke's a bit stoke. [See also 'Bent (criminal)'] I'm Mae West at Cockney Rhyming Slang. Would you like an Edna? I got my Beecham's from the tax people. I'm going home - can I have my Jack? [See also Hill] Have we paid the Jimmy Hill yet? [Jimmy Hill is a football pundit and former player] Look what that bloody Richard's done to my car! I’m off to see me lemon. I've tried that new apple but I prefer my salmon [Salmon and trout - stout]. Give us a pint of gary. 'ere. I could use a giggle. A pint of kitty litter please. Are you completely bacon? I pulled a top magic wand last night. I took my nanny out on the river. Sorry mate - where's the Kermit. 'e'd be nice looking once his canov's clear up. 'e's got a conan on his bottle the size of me fist! [Very often the expression used is "Sir Arthur", as in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - He's got a Sir Arfur on his bushel] This modern art's a load of old Jacksons [Pollock is a "20th Century strange artist"]

Belly Bender (homosexual) Bent (criminal) Bent (homosexual) Bent (homosexual) Bent (homosexual) Best Beverage Bill (statement) Bill (statement) Bill (statement) Bird Bird (woman) Bitter (beer) Bitter (beer) Bitter (beer) Bitter (beer) Blind Blonde Boat Bog (toilet) Boil Boil

New Delhi Leo Fender Stoke on Trent Behind with the Rent Duke of Kent Stoke on Trent Mae West Edna Everage Beecham's Pill Jack and Jill Jimmy Hill Richard the Third Lemon Curd Apple Fritter Gary Glitter Giggle and Titter Kitty Litter Bacon Rind Magic Wand Nanny Goat Kermit the Frog Can of Oil Conan Doyle


Jackson Pollock


Bones Book Book Boots Booze Boozer (pub) Boss Boss Bottle Bra

Tom Jones Captain Hook Fish Hook Daisy Roots Tom Cruise Battle Cruiser Joe Goss Pitch and Toss Aristotle Tung Chee Hwa

Ooh, me toms are clicking. I've read this captain. I've read the new fish by Deighton. You can't go out in the rain without your daisies. I need some Tom. I'm going to pop round the battle before I go to the party. Never trust a joe [Joe Goss was a talented boxer] My bloody pitch kept me late again. If you want milk, put the Ari on the doorstep. I'm off to buy a tung for the troubles birthday [Not widely used. Tung Chee Hwa is the Chief Executive of Hong Kong] He's got his new airs on. A small drop of fine would suit me. Hey, mum. Can I have some Uncle Fred with this? Where's he stashed his poppy. ‘ave a look at her easts. I'm skint mate. Bleedin' hearts. My manhole cover is coming for a visit. [How does manhole cover rhyme with brother you ask? Simple... if you pronounce brother as "bruvver"!] 'ere's me one and t'other now. Without a brussel mate. Give us a brussel when you're up to it. The bed was full of steamers. He just sat on his kingdom all day. Oooh – ‘e’s stepped on me Spanish onion. I could use a couple of hours in the pineapple. I'm dying for a Geoff. hurry - here's the sosay. Extra stammer for me. Would you like some talk on your toast. See if you can flag down a flounder. 'e's been on the sherbet for five years (driving a cab).

Braces Brandy Bread Bread (money) Breast Broke (financial) Brother

Airs and Graces Fine and Dandy Uncle Fred Poppy Red East West Hearts of Oak Manhole Cover

Brother Brussel Sprout Brussel Sprout Bug Bum Bunion Bunk (bed) Burst (urinate) Bus Butter Butter Cab (taxi) Cab (taxi) 5

One and t'other Doubt Shout Steam Tug Kingdom Come Spanish Onion Pineapple Chunk Geoff Hurst So Say All Of Us Stammer and Stutter Talk and Mutter Flounder & Dab Sherbet Dab

Cab (taxi) Café (pronounced caff) Cake Candle Cans (headphones) Car Car Cardy (cardigan) Cash Cash Cash Cash Cash Cash Cash Cell Chair Chalk Chancer (someone not qualified) Change Chat Cheek Cheese Cheese Cheque Cheque Cheque Chest Chest Chest Child Molester 6

Smash & Grab Riff Raff Sexton Blake Harry Randall Desperate Dans Jam Jar Kareem Abdul Jabbar Linda Lusardi Arthur Ashe Bangers and Mash Crosby, Stills, Nash Harry Nash Oscar Asche Sausage and Mash Slap Dash Flowery Dell Lion's Lair Duke of York Bengal Lancer Rifle Range Bowler Hat Hide and Seek John Cleese Stand at Ease Goose's Neck Gregory Peck Jeff Beck Bird's Nest George Best Pants and Vest Charlie Chester

Let's look for a smash and grab. I'm off to the riff raff. 'ow about a nice slice of sexton? Look at all the Harry's on his cake. 'ere - put your desperates on. Bloody jam is down again. Bloody kareem is down again. [Kareem Abdul Jabbar is a basketball player in the U.S] Oh my God – look at that awful Linda he’s wearing. That blokes not short of Arthur. I knew his cheques were dodgy, so I got him to pay me in bangers. [See also Sausage and Mash] That blokes not short of Crosby. There’s a discount if you’re paying Harry Nash. Haven't got an Oscar. I haven't got a sausage. [See also bangers and mash]. I haven't any slap dash on me. I've got three more years in this flower. Have a lion's while you wait. All I got for my birthday is a bit of duke. News paper adds would state no bengal lancers when advertising for tradesmen. I haven’t got and rifle for the bus. Let’s get together for a bowler. He kissed me on my hide and seek. I'm meeting the big John Cleese today at work. Wouldn't mind a bit of ease. He stuck me with a bouncing goose. I never 'ad any bread on me, so I 'ad to pay by Gregory. I'll send you a Jeff Beck. I had to punch him in the bird's nest. (In football) Over 'ere son, on me Georgie [George Best is a famous footballer] This cough is killing me pants and vest. Have you seen how young ‘is bird is? He’s a right

Charlie Chester. Child Molester Chin Chink (Chinese) Chink (Chinese) Chips Chum Cider Cider Uncle Fester Biscuit Tin Rink-a-dink Tiddley Wink Jockey Whips Fruit Gum Easy Rider Sue Ryder He's a bit of an Uncle Fester. He's got a big biscuit. We're going to get rinky take-away. ‘e’s not from around these parts. I think e’s a tiddley. I'll have a large plate of jockey's. How yer doing, my old fruit. Pint of Easy Rider please. Give us a pint of Sue, mate [The Sue Ryder Foundation works for the sick and disabled] Can I get two pints of winona please. I enjoy a good la-di-da after me meal. He dropped a coat. He don't have the bottle. After that last episode he'll be in the kitchen for a while. What's the time on the dickory? [Cabbies using this expression to refer to the meter] He ain't got a danny. 'e hasn't got a pot of glue. I haven't got a Scooby. He hasn’t got a bloody vinda. Put your nannies on - it's taters out. I left my weasel in the pub. [See also throat] We're talking about chitty chitty in this book. I’ll have an everton. Blimey – it’s taters out there. Cor, taters out there init? My missus couldn't babble to save her life. [See also Crook] He got nabbed by the grasshoppers. Blimey - I think the bottles are on to me! I'll meet you 'round the Johnnie. That’s a nasty Boris you’ve got there mate. That’s a nasty old boris you’ve got there son. This Darren is killing me pants and vest.

Cider Cigar Clanger (mistake) Class Clink (jail) Clock Clue Clue Clue Clue Coat Coat Coffee Cold Cold Cook Copper (police) Coppers (police) Corner Cough Cough Cough

Winona Ryder La-di-da Coat Hanger Bottle and Glass Kitchen Sink Dickory Dock Danny LaRue Pot of Glue Scooby-Doo Vindaloo Nanny Goat Weasel and Stoat Everton Toffee Potatoes in the Mould Potatoes in the mould Babbling Brook Grasshopper Bottles and Stoppers Johnnie Horner Boris Karloff Boris Karloff Darren Gough

Cockney Rhyming Slang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang


Crabs (pubic lice) Crap

Marble Slabs Macca

E's got a right case of marbles. I'm off for a macca [this one a bit convoluted but apparently it's common in some areas. Comes from Macaroni = pony; Pony & Trap = Crap] 'Ang on, mate. Just gotta 'ave a pony. Or, another usage if something's a bit off (i.e..not of good quality) That's a bit pony mate! He was in a fearsome sausage. Not one lemon reported all night. The old boy's a raspberry. He's always on the babble. [Meaning he's always planning something crooked. See also Cook] Come and give us a nice mix and muddle. He's a right berk. He's a right Ethan [Ethan Hunt is the main characters name in "Mission Impossible"] He's after your grumble. That ones a right struggle. There's nothing in the mother. I'm going for a ruby. [Ruby Murray was a singer in Glasgow] Shut the Richards - I'm trying to get some kip. You look lovely tonight, me old briney. I'm taking me bricks and mortar shopping. He brought his didn't oughta. That blokes lamb is a real stunner. I'm telling you, mate. He's brown bread. Old Jim is hovis. Poor buggers mutt and jeff. [Usually full slang expression is used. [Very often the expression is shortened to mutton as in "Poor buggers mutton"] Have you got yer posh ‘n becks yet. He got his hampton out in the pub last night. She couldn't keep her jazz bands off my three card


Pony and Trap

Crash Crime Cripple Crook Cuddle Cunt Cunt

Sausage and Mash Lemon Lime Raspberry Ripple Babbling Brook Mix and Muddle Berkshire Hunt Ethan Hunt

Cunt Cunt Cupboard Curry Curtains Darlin' Daughter Daughter Daughter Dead Dead Deaf

Grumble and Grunt Struggle and Grunt Mother Hubbard Ruby Murray Richard Burtons Briney Marlin Bricks and Mortar Didn't oughta Lamb to the Slaughter Brown Bread Hovis Bread Mutt and Jeff

Decks (turntables) Dick (penis) Dick (penis) 8

Posh ‘n Becks Hampton Wick Three Card Trick

trick. Dictionary Dinner Dinner Dinner Tom, Dick and Harry Jim Skinner Lilly and Skinner Michael Winner I’ll just check the meaning in the tom. Is my Jim ready yet? What’s for lilly and skinner. I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner. [Michael Winner is the food critic for the Sunday Times] That jobs a Glen Hoddle. [Glenn Hoddle is the coach of the English football team replacing Terry Venables] My bloody cherry is off again. If I get the tin tack I’m going on the ear’ole. I've got to sign on the old Nat King [It's also known as Old King Cole] 'e hasn't worked a day in 'is life... 'e's always been on the rock and roll. He ain't worked in years - he's on the sausage. Stupid horse cost me an Oxford. [Pre-war the dollar was worth just less than 5 shillings, so an Oxford is worth 5 shillings or a crown] They broke the 'enry down at number thirty two. I think he’s been smoking a bit of Bob Hope. There's a bit of a george in here. Just one more tiddley and I'm off; or, He's popped down to the pub for a tiddle. ‘ere mate. Got any Persians? He shouldn't be driving! He's bloody elephant's. Just going for a quick camels. I've got to go for a Donald. "Off out in 10 minutes?" "Yeah, just got to have a Forrest first". She looks like a right Magnus [Magnus Pike was an 'off the wall' TV personality who would (and could) explain complex scientific concepts to kids] She’s a right Raleigh. She's a bit of a three wheeler [The expression rusy bike is used too] ‘e’s never gotten here liz. The jobs not much but it's a nice little Bunsen. Look at the size of 'is ten speeds. He knows his stuff. He is a ginger, after all.

Doddle (easy or straight Glenn Hoddle forward) Dog Dole (welfare) Dole (welfare) Dole (welfare) Dole (welfare) Dollar Cherry Hogg Ear’ole (Ear Hole) Nat King Cole Rock and Roll Sausage Roll Oxford Scholar

Door Dope (marijuana) Draft Drink Drugs Drunk Dump (shit) Dump (shit) Dump (shit) Dyke (Lesbian)

Henry Moore Bob Hope George Raft Tiddley Wink Persian Rugs Elephant's Trunk Camel's Hump Donald Trump Forrest Gump Magnus Pike

Dyke (lesbian) Dyke (Lesbian) Early Earner Ears Engineer 9

Raleigh Bike Three Wheel Trike Liz Hurley Bunsen Burner Ten Speed Gears Ginger Beer

Erection Evening Post Eyes Fable

Standing Election Beans on Toast Mince Pies Railway Timetable

He's holding a standing election in his callards. Go and buy the beans on toast will you son. She got beatiful minces. (After someone tells you a tall tale) What’s he been doin’? Reading a railway table. [Might also be substituted with bus timetable] Nice legs, shame about the boat. It's too cold outside; no good for my cod. She's got a lovely Chevy Chase. Wipe that look off your jem [Jem Mace was a boxer in the late 19th century] 'Ere, you've got your brass wrong! I’m going out for a quick cough and drag. Have you got a harry? [Harry Wragg was a famous jockey] Oi, mate. Can I scrounge a melvynn of you [Melvynn was a television host] Give us an oily. Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags. He wears a Cartier but it's a sexton [See also 'Sexton Blake-cake'] She’s just sitting at home on her Auntie Annie. She's just sitting at home on her Jack and Danny. 'e's a right Arnold [It refers to a golfer who spends a lot of time in the long grass around a course] Nice pair of bow and arrows [Use your best Cockney accent here. The reference is to Farrah slacks] Have you done a d’oyly? [D’Oyly Carte is a light opera company] Have you just horse & carted? He’s dropped an orson. He blew a raspberry. Do us a cheesy. I fancy an orange of her Bristols! Me dogs are barking [Meaning my feet are tired] Get your plates of the table. He’s been telling scotts again [Scott Gibbs is a rugby

Face Face Face Face

Boat Race Cod & Plaice Chevy Chase Jem Mace

Facts Fag (cigarette) Fag (cigarette) Fag (cigarette) Fag (cigarette) Fag (cigarette) Fake Fanny Fanny Farmer (see usage) Farrahs (trousers) Fart Fart Fart Fart Favour Feel Feet Feet Fibs (lies)

Brass Tacks Cough and Drag Harry Wragg Melvynn Bragg Oily Rag Toe Rag / Tow Rag Sexton Blake Auntie Annie Jack and Danny Arnold Palmer Bow and Arrows D'Oyly Carte Horse and Cart Orson (i.e. Horse ‘n Cart) Raspberry Tart Cheesy Quaver Orange Peel Dogs Meat Plates of Meat Scott Gibbs


star] Fight Fine Fish Fist Fiver (£5 note) Fiver (£5 note) Flares (wide bottom trousers) Flash Flash (natty) Flowers Flying Squad Fork Function Garage Gargle (drunk) Gay (homosexual) Gay (homosexual) Gay (homosexual) Gay (homosexual) Gay (homosexual) Geezer Geezer Geezer Geezer Ghost Gin Gin Gin Gin Gin Girl Girl 11 Read and Write Calvin Klein Lilian Gish Oliver Twist Lady Godiva Taxi Driver Lionel Blaire Lemon Dash Harry Dash April Showers Sweeney Todd Duke of York Spaghetti Junction Steve Claridge Arthur Scargill Bale of Hay Doctor Dre Finlay Quaye First of May Ted Ray Fridge & Freezer Ice Cream Freezer Julius Caesar Lemon Squeezer Pillar and Post Mother's Ruin Needle and Pin Nose and Chin Thick & Thin Vera Lynn Cadbury Swirl Twist and Twirl I've just gotta go down the Steve for some petrol. 'e's right Authur'd. Don't bother Britany - he's bale. E’s a bit of a doctor [Dr. Dre is a rap artist] That boozer is Finlay ub [Finlay Quaye is a musician] He's a right first. He's a bit Ted. [Ted Ray was an actor/comedian in the sixties] He’s a right fridge. 'e's not a bad old ice cream. 'ere, look at the 'ampsteads on that Julius. I saw that lemon we met in the rub-a-dub last night. Looks like he’s seen a pillar. Another mothers would sit well. I'll have a small needle and tonic. I'll have a drop of nose and chin. I enjoy a bit of thick and thin. I'll have one more Vera before I hit the frog and toad. Come over here, me old Cadbury. She looks like a nice twist. He'd rather read than walk away. I'm calvin today. Good day at the stream. Got a pair of Lilian's. Next thing I know he's got his Oliver in my face. Ere, that bloke still owes me lady! 'ere - you owe me a taxi. Got on his best lionels for the evening. [Lionel Blaire is a performer] Don’t act so lemon. 'e was alway a bit of an 'arry. I forgot it was my anniversary, so I picked some aprils on the way home. Here comes the Sweeney [The Flying Squad are the police] Keep your fingers out of your grub, man. Use a duke.

Git (twit) Gloves Go Gob (mouth) Good Gossip Grand (1000) Gravy Greek

Strawberry Split Turtle Dove's Scapa Flow Gang and Mob Robin Hood Rex Mossop Bag of Sand Army and Navy Bubble and Squeak

That bloke's a right strawberry. Where's me turtle dove's. Scapa! [Actually pronounced 'Scarper'] He's got a big gang. That sounds like it's robin. What's the latest Rex, love? [Rex is an Aussie sports commentator] He owes me a bag. Can I have some army for my mashed? 'E's not a bad bloke for a bubble. [Bubble and squeak is a uniquely British dish of fried mashed potatoes and something green (usually cabbage)] Me Newingtons are playing me up. Found him laying in the bread and butter. [Usually full slang expression is used] I’m going down to the fatboy [Fatboy Slim is a recording artist] Fanny and chips for supper? She must be going out - she's got her Barnet done. Me biffo’s not looking the best today [Biffo the Bear was on the cover of Beano from 1948 to 1974] She's got beautiful shiny bonney. I could use a cow and calf [There's a pub in Grenoside (near Sheffield) called the Cow and Calf] I had it in my St. Martins a minute ago. Get your germans off my missus. Get yer jazz bands off me. Lovely titfer. [This one uses the first two words probably because saying "lovely tit" proved awkward] Use your crust mate. Don't just stand there - use your loaf. She likes to give blood. Me strawberry belongs to you. My knee is giving me gyp today. Oooh, me clements! Me Emma's are playing me up. [Emma is a BBC DJ on Radio 1] Goodbye Vera Lynn [from Pink Floyd – “Goodbye Vera Lynn I'm leaving you today" meaning I’m giving

Guts (stomach) Gutter Gym Haddock Hair Hair Hair Half (a pint) Hand Hands Hands Hat Head Head Head (fellatio) Heart Hell Hemorrhoid Hemorrhoids Heroin

Newington Butts Bread and Butter Fatboy Slim Fanny Craddock Barnet Fair Biffo the Bear Bonney Fair Cow and Calf St. Martins-Le-Grand German Bands Jazz Bands Titfer (Tit for Tat) Crust of Bread Loaf of Bread Blood Red Strawberry Tart Gypsy Nell Clement Freud Emma Freuds Vera Lynn


up heroin] Hill Hole Home Host Hot House House Howler (mistake) Hymen Ice Jacket Jack and Jill Drum Roll Pope in Rome Pillar and Post Peas in a Pot Cat and Mouse Mickey Mouse Robbie Fowler Bill Wyman Blind Mice Desmond Hackett The store is up the jack. [See also Bill] Let's pop 'round to my drum (Referring to someone's house). Let's pop 'round his pope and fetch him. Who’s the pillar and post for tonight? Don't touch that - it's bloody peasy. Went 'round to his cat to wake him up. I'm taking my missus to the mickey tonight. [Usually means a theatre rather than a residence] I made a right Robbie yesterday [Robbie Fowler plays for Liverpool] Virgin? Don’t think so mate – not a bill in sight. I'll have a Gold and Blind. He's sporting a new Desmond [Mr. Hackett is a renowned Daily Express sports reporter] I bought a new tennis racquet. One drink too many and I get seven days in the bucket. 'e's doing time in the ginger. He's sporting a new pair of harpers [Harpers and Queen is a woman's magazine "Published in London for the World"] How do you like me new runners. Me new steves are a bit tight. If you're a fiver then today's your Sabbath. He's not from around here - he's a four. That bloke looks a flash, look at all his tom. She can’t half duck and dive. 'e can't afford it - 'e ain't got a corn. Me new motor is just the dog's knob There was an Englishman, an Irishman and a sweaty on a boat [This term is usually derogatory] Go on then, tell us another rum and coke. Who's this double yoker. I'm up in front of the Barnaby tomorrow morning. That girls has a lovely set of carpets.

Jacket Jail Jail Jeans

Tennis Racquet Bucket and Pail Ginger Ale Harpers and Queens

Jeans Jeans Jew Jew Jewellery Jive Job Job Jock (Scot) Joke Joker Judge Jugs (breasts)

Runner Beans Steve McQueens Five to Two Four by Two Tom Foolery Duck and Dive Corn on the Cob Dog's Knob Sweaty Sock Rum and Coke Double Yoker Barnaby Rudge Carpets and Rugs


Kebab (shish kebab)

Phil Babb

Bloody hell, boys, I'm proper Oliver'd - anyone fancy a Phil? She's a bit torvill on my mate Barry. I put the Hansel on for a nice cup of Rosy. Where’s me brenda’s? Where's me Vivian? Have you seen me brucies? ‘ave you seen me johns. Have you got your knobblies with you? Me bo’s are giving me gyp. A nice girl but too many dustbin's. Couldn't hear a thing 'cause of all the Godfor's. I'm forever buy clothes for the saucepan lids [see also 'Yid'] I'm taking my little teapot to country. I can't put me foot down without stepping on one of the tin lids. C’mon me turtle, give us an ‘eavenly. How about a bit of hit and miss. I'm cream crackered, mate. I'm right Kerry'd [Kerry Packer is an Australian media magnate] That toe-rag kicked me in the Jacobs. I've been on my biscuits all day. The 'lastics gone in me alans. [Alan Whicker used to host a TV programme called Whickers World ] ‘e’s a bit proud of his Uncle Bob. Bloody rainbows beat us at football last night! Mines a forsythe. How about a couple of Mick Jaggers over here? Always one for a Tufnell. You’re a bit Cilla today, mate [Comes from Cilla Black’s Blind Date TV programme that was popular] You’re a bit Terry Waite. I'll see ya baked. See you Christian Slater. You're 'avin a bubble aren't ya?

Keen Kettle Key Key Keys Keys Keys Kidney Kids Kids Kids Kids Kids Kiss Kiss Knackered (tired) Knackered (tired) Knackers (testicles) Knees Knickers Knob (penis) Kraut (German) Lager Lager Lark (fun) Late Late Later Later Laugh 14

Torvill and Dean Hansel & Gretel Brenda Lee Vivian Lee Bruce Lee’s John Cleese Knobbly Knees Bo Diddley Dustbin Lids God Forbids Saucepan Lids Teapot Lids Tin Lids Heavenly Bliss Hit and Miss Cream Crackered Kerry Packer Jacobs Crackers Biscuits and Cheese Alan Whickers Uncle Bob Rainbow Trout Forsythe Saga Mick Jagger Tufnell Park Cilla Black Terry Waite Baked Potato Christian Slater Bubble Bath

Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Laugh Legs Legs

Cows Calf Giraffe Steffi Graf Turkish Bath Wally's Scarf Bacon and Eggs Dolly Pegs

Your having a cows calf, ain't you You're havin' a giraffe, mate. You're having a Steffi. He's havin' a turkish. He's having a wally. Lovely set of bacons [This can be Ham & Eggs as well]. 'ave a butchers at the dollies on 'er [This comes from the old style wooden clothes pegs that little girls used to draw faces on and make little dresses and hats/hair for, hence the dolly peg] Stand on your own mumbleys. He was nutmegged [This is a common football term for when the ball is kicked between an opponents legs and then the other player runs around to get control of the ball again] I was so surprised I nearly fell off me pins. Sit down and take a load off your pegs. We're getting off the train at Euan Blair station. She's a lovely girl but she is west end, you know. Shut up you Bob - yer talking out yer aris [Sergeant Bob Cryer is a character in "The Bill"] ‘e’s a bit of a Dunlop. ‘e’s a bit of a holy friar. Blimey - he gets two pigs (beers) in him and he starts telling porkies. Not on your nelly, mate. [The expression 'not on your nelly', meaning 'not on your life' (meaning that the person would never do something)] 'e's doing a stay in the porridge. Lovely - cheerful for dinner tonight. We're having swanee for dinner again? She's taken in an artful to help pay the way. Here - take a butcher's at this. I just went over there for a captain. C'mon, let me feel the fibre of your fabric [fabric=suit=loot] That's your hopping mate. [Meaning, that's all you get. [This may have originated with Londoners who

Legs Legs

Mumbley Pegs Nutmegs

Legs Legs Leicester Square Lesbian Liar Liar Liar Lies Life

Pins and Pegs Scotch Pegs Euan Blair West End Thespian Bob Cryer Dunlop Tyre Holy Friar Pork Pies Nelly Duff

Life (term) Liver Liver Lodger Look Look Loot (money) Lot (Serving or share)

Porridge Knife Cheerful Giver Swanee River Artful Dodger Butcher's Hook Captain Cook Fibre of your fabric Hopping Pot


traveled to Kent and other districts to gather hops for beer] Love Luck Luck Mad Marriage Married Matches Mate Mate Meetin' (meeting) Mental Mental (crazy) Merry Mess Milk Turtle Dove Donald Duck Friar Tuck Mum and Dad Horse and Carriage Cash and Carried Cuts and Scratches China Plate Garden Gate Buster Keaton Radio Rental Chicken Oriental Tom and Jerry Elliot Ness Acker Bilk All right me old turtle. How's your Donald? 'E always had a bit of friar tuck. He's a bit mum and dad. e's off to his 'orse and carriage. Poor bloke got cashed on the weekend. Do you have any cuts? How are you, my old china? He’s an old garden gate from school. We'll see you at the Buster. He's a bit radio. It was chicken oriental down the nuclear on Friday night. E’s a tommy bloke. My drum's a right Elliot. Would you like Acker in your coffee? [Acker Bilk was a master of the clarinet and leader of the Paramount Jazz Band. Interestingly, his nickname Acker is a Somerset term meaning friend or mate] You're out of you little chinese mate. She's a cute little cuddle. Where did your love and kisses go? How's the plates getting on then? Can't go in there without any bees. Let's drink with him - he's got bread. I've got some Bugs bunny in me sky rocket and I'm off down the rub-a-dub-dub. I’ve gone and locked me keys in the haddock. I gave him a punch up the north. I'm tired of people taking me for a toby. He's got a bushel like tree trunk. Wind you Gregory in. e's got a bad case of the West Ham's. Did you catch the wooden pews yesterday. He's spending a bit of time in the shovel. I'm havin' a right lionel [Lionel Blaire is a performer]

Mind Miss Missus (Mrs) Missus (Mrs) Money Money Money Motor (car) Mouth Mug (chump) Neck Neck Nerves News Nick (prison) Nightmare 16

Chinese Blind Cuddle and Kiss Love and Kisses Plates and Dishes Bees and Honey Bread and Honey Bugs Bunny Haddock and Bloater North and South Toby Jug Bushel and Peck Gregory Peck West Ham Reserves Wooden Pews Shovel and Pick Lionel Blaire



Went for an interview yesterday - it was a total Weston-Super [Weston Super Mare is the main coastal resort of North Somerset] Look at the thup'neys on her, raspberries like cigar buts! [Can also mean cripple] It’s a bit George [George & Zippy are from an old BBC kids show called Rainbow] Hold your box - they can hear you miles away! Look at the size of his fireman's. Look at the Fray Bentos on that poor sod [Fray Bentos is a maker of a fabulous Steak & Kidney Pie (and other treats)] That rotten drunk gave me a clip on me I suppose. She gave me a kiss on my Irish. My meanest teachers were currents. That blokes a bloody roland [This expression uses the first two words rather than just the first] I'm gonna do the Frank [see 'scoff'. Frank Bough was a television personality] I was talking to me old pot just yesterday. He's over there on his toblerone. He's bang Allan [Used when someone does something to another person that is not looked upon favourably. Allan Border was the Australian cricket captain in the late 80's/early 90's] Did you know Kevin is a tea caddy? Me John Major’s just gone off. They've hired a new bloke at the shop - he's a bacon [Sarnie is a slang term for sandwich (This expression may be considered offensive] Martin's new bird's a Reg [Reg played Stan Butler on 'On the Buses', one of the 1970's BritComs] Get your adam’s on. Blimey, I have no clean surreys. Has the morning linen come yet? Wot you got ‘ere then, a bleedin’ elephant. I'm taking my misses to the Noah. Mental morry mate. I've phoned for a sherbert to take us to the Russell

Nipple Nippy (cold) Noise Nose Nose

Raspberry Ripple George and Zippy Box of Toys Fireman's Hose Fray Bentos

Nose Nose Nun Nutter (crazy) Off (take off, leave)

I Suppose Irish Rose Current Bun Roll and Butter Frank Bough

Old Man (Father or Husband) On My Own Out of Order

Pot and Pan Toblerone Allan Border

Paddy Pager Pakistani

Tea Caddy John Major Bacon Sarnie

Pakistani Pants Pants Paper (newspaper) Parcel Park Party Party 17

Reg Varney Adam Ant Surrey & Hants Linen Draper Elephant and Castle Noah's Ark Moriarty Russell Harty

[Russell Harty is a TV host] Peas Peas Pee Pest Tonic Phone Phone Piano John Cleese Knobbly Knees Gypsy Rose Lee Fred West Philharmonic Al Capone Dog and Bone Joanna Eat yer John Cleese - they're good for you. We’re havin’ sexton and knobblies. I’m off for a gypsy. Here comes that Fred West again. I'll have a Vera and Phil (gin and tonic). He’s always on the al capone. She's always on the dog. He sparkles on the joanna. [They mispronounce the word you're trying say, so instead of 'piano' they call it a 'piana'] Going out to the Dolly Mixtures tonight. I've had three pints - I could use a jimmy. Me Nuremberg's are really playing me up. Me chalfonts are playing up. Blimey, I ain't 'alf suffering from me farmers. Me nobbies are acting up again [Nobby Stiles was a great footballer from years gone by] Me Jim Rockford's are giving me gip! [Jim Rockford was the central character in the TV show The Rockford Files] I'll stand if you don't mind - me sieg heils are acting up today. Me slay 'ems are playing me up. She's on the Jack. 'ere. Get yer head off my weeping willow. I must remember to take my strawberry tonight. Where's me Jack n Jills. ‘e’s always ‘ad a weakness for the Mick Mills [Mick Mills played for Ipswich in the ‘70s] Someone's half-inched me pint! He does a cherry [Cherry Ripe is an Australian chocolate bar - although this maybe Aussie slang rather than Cockney] I'm just popping out for an Arthur [Arthur Bliss was a famous English composer (1891-1975)] Blimey - no more beer till I've 'ad a gypsy's. I've got to have a hit before we go out.

Pictures Piddle (urinate) Piles Piles (hemorrhoids) Piles (hemorrhoids) Piles (hemorrhoids) Piles (hemorrhoids)

Dolly Mixtures Jimmy Riddle Nuremberg Trials Chalfont St Giles Farmer Giles Nobby Stiles Rockford Files

Piles (hemorrhoids) Piles (hemorrhoids) Pill (birth control) Pillow Pill Pills Pills Pinch (steal) Pipe

Sieg Heils Slay 'em in the aisles Jack and Jill Weeping Willow Strawberry Hill Jack 'n Jills Mick Mills Half Inch Cherry Ripe

Piss Piss Piss 18

Arthur Bliss Gypsy's Kiss Hit and Miss

Piss (Make fun of)

Mickey Bliss

He’s always taking the mickey out of him [Mickey is short for a mythical 'Mickey Bliss,' providing the rhyme for 'piss and has been in widespread use since the late 1940s. The original idea was that of deflating someone, recalling the description of a self-important blusterer as 'all piss and wind.'] I'm really hit today. He's well Brahms and Liszt , don't give him any more to drink. [Sometimes the expression "Mozart & Liszt is used] I 'ad one over the eight last night and got completely Olivered. I'm a bit schindlers after a too many forsythes. 'e was completely scotch mist last night. Don’t try and scarper before you’ve washed those alexanders. Let's grass and hay down the park. Keep it in your Lucy. I've got nothing in my skies. He's a bit of an iron. I think he might be a tin roof. Is there any Frankie on the telly tonight? I enjoy a bit of Johnny [Johnny Vaughn was the star of The Big Breakfast] He's off doing a bit of Nikki. He's a bit of a paper. Haven't got a weaver's of getting into her alans. [A weaver's chair has a low profile back allowing free movement of the arms] He gets on my wick. You lost your jekyll or something? 'e's off to the boom for a bit. I'll meet you down the nuclear at 5 o'clock. I'm off to the rub-a-dub-dub. [Comes from the children's rhyme Rub-a-dub-dub, three men in a tub...] When your having a shower make sure you wash your rubric's. Here, mate. Got any Mickey?

Pissed (angry) Pissed (drunk)

Hit List Brahms and Liszt

Pissed (drunk) Pissed (drunk) Pissed (drunk) Plate Play Pocket Pocket Poof (homosexual) Poof (homosexual) Porn Porn Powder (cocaine) Prat (arse) Prayer

Oliver Twist Schindlers List Scotch Mist Alexander the Great Grass & Hay Lucy Locket Sky Rocket Iron Hoof Tin Roof Frankie Vaughan Johnny Vaughn Nikki Lauder Paper Hat Weavers' Chair

Prick Pride Prison Pub Pub Pube (pubic hair) Puff (marijuana) 19

Hampton Wick Jekyll and Hyde Boom and Mizzen Nuclear Sub Rub-a-dub-dub Rubric's Cube Mickey Duff

Punter (gambler or odds Hillman Hunter maker) Purse Quarter Queen (homosexual) Queer (homosexual) Queer (homosexual) Queer (homosexual) Queer (odd) Quid Quid Rail Railway Guard Rain Rave (dance) Readies (pound notes) Rent Rent Rent Rich Right Gypsy's Curse Farmers Daughter Torvill & Dean Brighton Pier Ginger Beer King Lear Ginger Beer Bin Lid Teapot Lid Toby Ale Christmas Card Pleasure and Pain Comedy Dave Nelson Eddy's Burton on Trent Clark Kent Duke of Kent Scratch & Itch Isle of Wight

‘ere comes another load of Hillmans [The Hillman was a fine auto introduced in 1966] Someone's alf-inched me gypsy. My Nan want me to get her three farmers of rosie (3/4 lb of tea) He’s a right old torvill. That blokes a bit of a Brighton. He's a bit ginger [See Queer (odd) below] e's a bit King Lear. I don't know about that - sounds a bit ginger. Lend us a bin. I'm down a teapot already. 'e's traveling by toby. Look out for the Christmas. Any more pleasure and we'll be swimming. You coming to the comedy? [Comedy Dave is a Radio 1 DJ] 'e's got a pile of nelsons! They've raised my burton again. I'm having a tough time coming up with me Clark. I can't afford to pay the Duke of Kent this week. 'e's got scratch. Down the High Road to the lights and make an Isle. [Also seen used as slang for "all right" but not in common usage] He jumped right into the shake. Don't ride your bike on the frog. [See Road = Kermit] 'e took off down the kermit. [From Kermit the Frog = frog and toad = road. I’m feeling a bit dot [Dot Cotton is a character from Eastenders] Went up to the dole office today. 'Ad a bit of a barney with the geezer behind the desk. Had a right bull with my misses last night. A wee bit of Tom and I'm off. He got the tin tack the other day.

River Road Road Rotten Row (argument) Row (argument) Rum Sack (fired) 20

Shake and Shiver Frog and Toad Kermit Dot Cotton Barn Owl Bull and Cow Tom Thumb Tin Tack

Saloon Bar Sauce Scar

Balloon Car Dead Horse Mars Bar

I'll be at the balloon. Pass the dead horse. I fell down the apple and pears trying to answer the dog & bone, hit my head and ended up with a mars bar. I’m going to get some frank [Frank Bough was a television personality] You know the Bobby [Bobby Moore was a great footballer who died in 1993] You know the hampden [The Hampden Roar is a commonly used term that refers to the noise made when fans cheer on Scotland at Hampden Park] I gave me last apple to that old paraffin. I'll have a gold watch and ten. He enjoys a good pimple. 'E enjoys his gold watch. 'E's a mickey mouser [Refers to someone from Liverpool] He's always been a brussel. I’m Hank Marvin. I could use some top Jackie for me Michael Winner. Had a bit of posh with the missus last night [Posh refers to Posh Spice (Victoria Adams) of the Spice Girls while Becks refers to David Beckham, the famous footballer she married] He's turned out a bit westminster today. He's off for a billy [Billy Bragg is a singer/songwriter] You really JR'd that one mate. [Abbreviated reference to J. Arthur Rank. In golf, a shank is a ball that goes in a decidedly unexpected direction] I'm off for a chas. A quick shower and dig and I'll be ready to go. I punched him right in the mincer and gave him an ocean liner. Put your dicky dirt on before the company gets here. I've got to press my uncle. Just off or a brace. I right need a Brad Pitt. I'm going for an Eartha [See also 'Tit']

Scoff (food) Score Score

Frank Bough Bobby Moore Hampden Roar

Score (£20) Scotch Scotch Scotch (Whisky) Scouser (Liverpudlian)

Apple Core Gold Watch Pimple and Botch Gold Watch Mickey Mouser

Scouts Scran (food) Sex

Brussel Sprouts Jackie Chan Posh ‘n Becks

Shabby Shag Shank (golf term)

Westminster Abbey Billy Bragg J. R.

Shave Shave Shiner (black eye) Shirt Shirt Shit Shit Shit 21

Chas and Dave Dig in the Grave Ocean Liner Dicky Dirt Uncle Bert Brace and Bit Brad Pitt Eartha Kitt

Shit Shite Shite Shite (shit) Shits (diarrhoea) Shitter (rectum)

Tom Tit Tom Kite Turkish Delight Barry White Two-Bob Bits Council Gritter

I'm going for a Tom Tit. I’m off for a tom. They’re playing completely Turkish today. I need a Barry White. I’ve got a real case of the two-bob bits. When I sat down there was a pin on my chair! Right up the council! [A council gritter is the machine that comes around and puts grit on icy roads] He kicked him right up the Gary. Back in a sec - I'm off to the rick [Rick Whitter is a singer] That's a Barry Crocker [Barry Crocker is an Aussie] Played a round of golf yesterday - had a complete Costantino [Costantino Rocca is an Italian golfer] Where are me Scooby's? Get yer ghosts on. Where's me one 'n two's? 'e's got himself a new pair of St. Louis' Get your rhythm and blues on. Nice pair of yabba’s mate [For them what don’t have a classical education, “Yabba-Dabba-Doo” was the catch phrase of Fred Flintstone] It's your wally, mate (ie. It's your turn to buy a round of drinks). [Wally Grout was an Australian cricketer who died in 1968] I'd just got out of the David Gower [David Gower is an English cricketer] I’m going for an Eiffel Tower. I'm feeling a bit Moby today. We don’t have a goalie – John’s spotted [Spotted Dick is a dessert make with raisins] He's feeling a bit Tom. [There is also an expression "Feeling a bit dicky" as in not quite right that comes from this slang. It’s also used as “Bob and Dick”] I can't come out tonight - I'm feeling a bit Uncle Dick. Get out of me website. 'e's a bit daffy. [Daffy Down Dilly is a line of dolls from Madam Alexander] I've always said he was Piccadilly.

Shitter (rectum) Shitter (toilet or rectum) Shocker Shocker Shoe Shoe Shoes Shoes Shoes Shoes

Gary Glitter Rick Whitter Barry Crocker Costantino Rocca Scooby Doo Ghost (Boo) One and two's St. Louis Blues Rhythm and Blues Yabba-Dabba-Doo

Shout (round)

Wally Grout

Shower Shower Sick Sick Sick

David Gower Eiffel Tower Moby Dick Spotted Dick Tom and Dick

Sick Sight Silly Silly 22

Uncle Dick Website Daffy Down Dilly Piccadilly

Simple Sister Six

Dolly Dimple Skin and Blister Tim Mix

She’s a bit Dolly Dimple. She may be his blister but she's nothing like him. He rolled a Tom Mix [This expression is common in casino's when referring to dice games] Got any vera's? He's right boric. I'm completely larry mate [Larry Flint is an American publisher of adult magazines] I'm polo'd. She's a bit of an oily rag [Oily Rag is also slang for fag (cigarette). She’s a right toe rag [It should be 'Tow Rag'. When a car towed another in times past, (broken down car) behind it, it was/is common practice to tie a piece of rag halfway along the rope between the two vehicles. This was to indicate the rope's presence to pedestriams, particularly when stopped in traffic. (i.e. to stop people tripping over it when walking between the cars). As this piece of rag was literally dragging or 'always in' the dirt all the time, it was compared with someone who was shifty, untrustworthy, criminal, loafer, a general 'low life'. Such a person was called a tow rag,example "don't trust him, he's a bit of a tow rag"] Thus, a tow rag could refer to a male or female of dubious character. I’m gonna give you a Watford ‘round yer chevy. I'm absolutely dying for a Pat Cash. I’m poppin’ out for a pie and mash. What I need is a good bo-peep. You need a bit of sooty. He don't half Aunt Nell. I’m going for a laugh. I hate allergies - one good bread after another. ‘e’s a bit Jeckyll. 'Ere mate, give us a salmon, I'm right out. [The term snout comes from prison life when the prisoners, who would take their daily exercise in silence, would signal a tobacco supplier that he needed cigarettes by

Skin (cigarette paper) Skint (broke) Skint (broke)

Vera Lynn Borassic Lint Larry Flint

Skint (broke) Slag (prostitute)

Polo Mint Oily Rag

Slag (prostitute)

Toe Rag / Tow Rag

Slap Slash (piss) Slash (piss) Sleep Sleep Smell Smoke (cigarette) Sneeze Snide Snout (cigarette)

Watford Gap Pat Cash Pie and Mash Bo-Peep Sooty and Sweep Aunt Nell Laugh and Joke Bread and Cheese Jeckyll and Hyde Salmon and Trout


touching his nose] - See "ins and outs". Snouts (Cigarettes) Soap Soap Socks Socks Socks Son Song Soup Spanner (wrench) Sparrow Speak Specs (spectacles) Specs [Spectacles) Splinter Spoon Spoon Spot (acne) Spouse Sprouts Spunk (semen) Spunk (semen) Ins and Outs Cape of Good Hope Faith and Hope Almond Rocks Bombay Docks Joe Rocks Currant Bun Ding Dong Loop de Loop Elsie Tanner Bow and Arrow Bubble and Squeak Gregory Peck Mikkel Becks Alan Minter Daniel Boone David Boon Randolph Scott Boiler House Twist and Shouts Harry Monk Pineapple Chunk 'ere mate, got any ins and outs? (See Salmon and Trout) Go wash yourself - and use the cape. Where's the faith and hope, I wanna wash me 'ands. Wouldn't it be nice if your almonds matched? Anyone seen me bombays? Pull yer Joe's up. He's awfully proud of his currant. Everyone gather round the piano for a ding dong. [Usually the full slang expression is used] Nothing like a good loop on a cold day. Can I borrow your elsie. Little bow and arrow fell out of the nest. [Usually the full slang expression is used] I won't bubble. Where’s me gregs. Where did I put me Mikkel's? [Mikkel Beck is a footballer] Picked up this wood and got a terrible Alan in me finger [Alan Minter is a British boxer] Pass me a Daniel. Pass me that David Boon [David Boon is an Australian cricketer] I've got a great big randolph on my chin. Me boiler's always yammerin' on. I love bubble and squeak made with Twist and Shouts. This glue's as sticky as a load of Harry [Harry Monk was an old music hall entertainer] Is that laundry powder on your jeans? Looks like pineapple chunks to me. Get yourself up the apples and pears. Get yerself up the daisy dancers [This one's a bit convoluted: Daisy Dancer = Dancing Bears = Stairs. The daisy dancer reference is a twist on the Dancing Bears=Stairs slang] Get yerself up the dancing bears.

Stairs Stairs

Apples and Pears Daisy Dancers

Stairs 24

Dancing Bears

Starved Starvin'

Pear Halved Hank Marvin

"Lunch in a bit?" "Yeah, I'm a bit pear." I'm bloody Hank Marvin. I haven't eaten all day [Hank Marvin was the guitarist for The Shadows from the 1960's to the 1990's] I'm Lee Marvin [If you're really hungry you could say, "I'm Hank, and his brother Lee". Lee Marvin was an American actor. See other entry for starvin' (Hank Marvin)] He's in a two and eight over it. [Usually the full slang expression is used] A lovely Kate and Sydney pie [Not really rhyming slang - more a matter of getting your mords wixed up] A couple of nelsons please [Stella refers to Stella Artois] Give us a Paul Weller Mines a Uri. I’ll have an ooh aah. A right Dame Judy in here. I've forgot me hackney wick back at the last pub. That's a bit of a pen and ink. Ye late! What’s the jackanory then? Stop by and have a salmon. Who’s that Queen’s Park Ranger standing over there? This pub is full of Texas Rangers these days. That Mary's a bit of a gamma. He out standing in the field, waiting for a bus. He's wearing black donkeys. Just bought a new pair of Jekylls. I love me jack the rippers. I need a ping pong drink. Guvnor Give us a rub a dub till pay day. Let's have a go in ya scooby-doo. He turned up dressed in a bag. Are you wearing your bowl of fruit tonight? I’ll be wearing me tin flute. He bought himself a new whistle for the wedding. Old current bun's out today. You can sing for your Tommy.


Lee Marvin

State (anguish) Steak and Kidney Stella (beer) Stella (beer) Stella (beer) Stella Artois (beer) Stench Stick (walking) Stink Story Stout (beer) Stranger Stranger Stray Street Strides (trousers) Strides (trousers) Stripper Strong Sub (pay advance) Subaru Suit Suit Suit Suit Sun Supper

Two and Eight Kate and Sydney Nelson Mandelas Paul Weller Uri Geller Ooh Aah Dame Judy Dench Hackney Wick Pen and Ink Jackanory Salmon and Trout Queen’s Park Ranger Texas Ranger Gamma Ray Field of Wheat Donkey Rides Jekyll and Hydes Jack the Ripper Ping Pong Rub a Dub Scooby-Doo Bag of Fruit Bowl of Fruit Tin Flute Whistle and Flute Current Bun Tommy Tucker


Sweetheart Table Tablet (pill)

Treacle Tart Cain and Abel Gary Ablett

She's a right treacle. Sit yourself at the cain and I'll bring you your Tommy (Tommy Tucker - supper). He was off his nuts on the old Gary Abletts wasn't he [Gary Ablett was a footballer in the 80's] He's always wagging his alderman's. He's always rabbitting on about something. She’s a real murray – just can’t get her to shut up! I’m off to the pool to top up me peter pan. Lend us a sprarsy - I wanna get some toe-rags (cigarettes) Is this a lads night or are we taking the kicks. Mind if I share your Joe Baxi? [Joe Baxi was a heavyweight boxer] Where’s me bleeding cuppa arf past? I've just put the rosy on. Fancy a cup of you and me? She's off doing a Britney. He got smacked in the Edwards [Edward Heath was PM in the early 1970’s] His hampsteads (hamps) are a crime. As usual, nothing on the custard tonight. What’s on the Liza? I didn't get much change back from a cock. I’m don to me last Paul McKenna [Paul McKenna is a famous hypnotist] 'ere, lend us an ayrton me old china [Ayrton Senna was a Formula One] 'ere, lend us a louise. [Louise Wener is a singer with the band Sleeper] He's always been a bit of a tea leaf. [Usually the full slang expression is used] I should cocoa [Said in a somewhat facetious manner, this phrase actually means "I should think not"] I've got a Geoff on tonight [Sir Geoff Hurst was the only footballer to score three goals in a World Cup final] I've got a sore billy goat.

Tail Talk Talker Tan Tanner (sixpence) Tart Taxi Tea Tea Tea Tears Teeth Teeth Telly (TV) Telly (TV) Ten Tenner (£10) Tenner (10 pound note) Tenner (10 pound note) Thief Think

Alderman's Nail Rabbit and Pork Murray Walker Peter Pan Sprarsy Anna Kick Start Joe Baxi Half Past Three Rosy Lee You and Me Britney Spears Edward Heath Hampstead Heath Custard and Jelly Liza Minelli Cock and Hen Paul McKenna Ayrton Senna Louise Wener Tea Leaf Cocoa Drink


Geoff Hurst

Throat 26

Billy Goat

Throat Throat Throat Thunder Ticket Ticket Tie Till (Cash register) Time Time Time Tit (breast) Tits (breasts) Tits (breasts) Tits (breasts) Tits (breasts) Tits (breasts) Titties (breasts)

John O’Groat Nanny Goat Weasel & Stoat Crash & Blunder Bat and Wicket Wilson Picket Peckham Rye Jack & Jill Bird Lime Harry Lime Lemon & Lime Brad Pitt Ballroom Blitz Brace and Bits Eartha Kitts Fainting Fits Thr'penny Bit Bristol Cities

‘e cleared his groat whilst wiping his mincers with ‘is germans. Get that down your nanny. 'is weasel's playing him up. What a storm! Did you hear the crash and blunder. I've got a bat for tonight's train. I want to go to New York, but I can’t afford the wilsons. I'm putting on me best whistle and me new peckham. 'E got nicked with 'is 'ands in the old jack and jill. What's the bird? [Also commonly used to refer to doing time, as in prison] What's the Harry Lime? [Harry Lime is a character in 'The Third Man'] Oi mate - what's the lemon & lime. Nice pair of brads. She’s got marvellous ballrooms [Ballroom Blitz is a song by a group named Sweet] Blimey - what a brace! Nice Eartha's. Wouldn’t mind getting me germans on her faintings. Look at the Thr'penny's on her. She's got a lovely pair of Bristols. [The saying goes back hundreds of years from when sailors sailed to the "New World", between Bristol, England (the second largest port outside of London at the time) and the USA, traveling on to the tobacco plantations at Bristol, Virginia] It was known as, "Going between the Bristol's" and became a sexual reference for what sailors would do to their women folk on returning to dry land!

Titty (breast) Toast Toe

Walter Mitty Holy Ghost Bromley by Bow

She's got a lovely set of walters. How about another round of 'oly. You might want to fight, but I'm going to have it on me bromleys. That guy is an Al. How about a nice Vera and super (Gin & Tonic)

Toker Tonic 27

Al Roker Supersonic

Toss Towel

Kate Moss Baden Powell

I couldn't give a Kate Moss. 'ere, wrap a baden powell around you. Nobody wants to see that! I missed me Michael. I've got me new Claire Rayners on [Claire Rayner is an author] That's a nice pair of Gloria's. I gave me last apple to that old paraffin. Look at that bunch of thirteen amps over there. [Thirteen amps is the standard electrical receptacle in Britain] ‘e was caught with ‘is lards down [Lards is from Callards & Bowsers, makers of fine toffee’s] 'e's got hisself a new set of round the houses ["Council Houses" also used as in "'is councils haven't seen an pressing this year"] I need to dump a Douglas [Douglas Hurd is a politician] He's a bit of a Richard. [This is also used as in "I'm just going for a Richard". "Edward the Third" is also used] Wonderful - it's starting to rain and me without my Auntie Ella. What's the matter with 'is 'obsons. One more pint and I’ll Wallace, mate. I've blown the greengages down at the dogs. After a heavy meal I like quick ball round the square. He's havin' an armitage [Armitage Shank are makers of fine porcelain bathroom fixtures] Just off for a Jodrell [Jodrell Bank was the site of a University of Manchester botanical station, about 20 miles south of Manchester, back in the 1940's. Today, Jodrell Bank is a leading radio astronomy facility] He's having a barclays. 'e's off having a J. Arthur. 'e's having a lamb. I'm going for a midland. I'm off for a peddle!


Michael Caine

Trainers (running shoes) Claire Rayners Trainers (running shoes) Gloria Gaynors Tramp (hobo) Tramp (hobo) Paraffin Lamp Thirteen Amp

Trouble Trousers Trousers

Barney Rubble (Flintstones) Stay away from him. He's right Barney. Lards Round the Houses

Turd (shit) Turd (shit)

Douglas Hurd Richard the Third

Umbrella Voice Vomit Wages Walk Wank (masturbate)

Auntie Ella Hobson's Choice Wallace and Gromit Greengages Ball of Chalk Armitage Shank

Wank (masturbate)

Jodrell Bank

Wank (masturbate) Wank (masturbate) Wank (masturbate) Wank (masturbate) Wank (masturbate) 28

Barclays Bank J. Arthur Rank Lamb Shank Midland Bank Peddle and Crank

Wank (masturbate) Wank (masturbate) Wanker Wanker Wanker Wanker Wanker

Sherman Tank Tommy Tank Cab Ranker Kuwaiti Tanker Merchant Banker Ravi Shankar Sefton Branker

e's a right Sherman. She's probably at home doing a tommy. [From "Thomas the Tank Engine", a child's program] 'e's a bit of a cab ranker. He’s a bit of a Kuwaiti tanker. He's a right merchant. That referee is a right Ravi. He’s a right Sefton Branker [Sefton Branker was a Major, and later Air Vice Marshall, who was posted to India in the early 20th century] He’s a bit of a swiss banker. They’re a bunch of gordons. That's a lovely kettle. I'll have a gold watch and ten. Check out me wind and kite. She'd better watch her pieces of eight. I'll have a gay and I'm off. [Be careful where you use this] Open a bottle of plonk [The rhyme here is a bit convoluted – Plink Plonk rhymes with Vin Blanc which is a white wine] She’s a bit of a four by four. I was trying to get my trousers back on, and the dirty roger is running up the street with my wallet. She a right Thomas. Now my old dutch, where are we off to tonight? I'm taking my trouble dancing tonight. I think that blokes wearing an Irish. What a syrup. Close the bloody burnt. You’d better put your billies on [Billie Piper is a pop singer] Cor, it's bloody mork today [Can also refer to someone who is a bit windy - "Don't feed him brussel sprouts again - he gets all Mork & Mindy"] Where’s the porc waiter. He left without so much as a dicky.

Wanker Wanks Watch (fob watch) Water Web Site Weight Whisky White Wine

Swiss Banker Gordon Banks Kettle and Hob Ten Furlongs (Mile and a quarter) Wind and Kite Pieces of Eight Gay and Frisky Plink Plonk

Whore Whore

Four by Four Roger Moore

Whore Wife Wife Wig Wig Window Windshield Wiper Windy

Thomas Moore Duchess of Fife Trouble and Strife Irish Jig Syrup of Figs Burnt Cinder Billie Piper Mork and Mindy

Wine Word

Porcupine Dicky Bird


Wrong Wrong Yank Yank Yawn Years Yid

Falun Gong Pete Tong Septic Tank Wooden Plank Johnny Vaughn Donkey's Ears Front Wheel Skid

It seems to have all gone a bit falun gong. It's all gone a bit Pete [Pete Tong is an English DJ] He's not very bright... septic, you know. [This can also be shorted to Sepo] Then this wooden bloke walked in. Can’t hold back a good Johnny. Ain't seen you in donkeys mate. Old Mikey's a front wheel [Note that this expression is considered offensive]

This book was collected and printed through the internet, I just introduced it! For more information send me an email at: Copyright © 2009 by Mr. Doody. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without the written permission from Mr. Doody.


Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful