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21 January 09 unexpectedly, i had dreamt of capoeira in minute detail and there was morning, and i went out into

the city. tried not to judge. a day of freedom. the day after. and there was no one, no one. no one as if i had wanted it that way, no one as if i had wanted to completely honor a strong tremendous warmth of emptiness, a strong tremendous hum of utterly silent love devoid of face. a vast open space of day. i wasn't looking for anything, except maybe this, remembering its consistent pull of ethereal thirst: a nearly relentless attempt to offer myself to the world in a metered deliberate way and notice what returns back. such tremendous silence in the freedom. and these phrases so immature in their trying to capture that, to capture the vagrant clouds of sky and the non-thing that would be almost vulgar to mention due to its total stark bareness, its sharp honesty spitting in the face of any effort, its ecstasy without reason I AM IN LOVE WITH MY LIFE (despite the effect that has on the economy); at the diner the waitress's eyes were intensely green, and i know she's seen something. but it's none of my business. i heard no one, i came to a silent place also, even sound not reaching some deliberately stolen center, i reached out to no one, finding power in that, this was today, and tomorrow the movement would resume again an immense spinning an immense turning an immense work toward crucial embrace an immense creation of glowing an immense voicing of release but today the silence held me and i sought no one and a singular golden heartbeat of obstinate striking rebellion echoed into opulent terminal void.

(c) 2009 de Vie

deVieMusic.com

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