Strange Upon Strange | Free Will | Mind

2343, Monday, 2013-08-26 1 st journal, Mayan day 5 Lamat / Star or Rabbit or Venus

Strange Upon Strange
Life & Teachings of the Masters of the Far East (Christian perspective) (Eye) Exercise to See Real Light I Am That - Nisargadatta Video Journal
I am suddenly filled with a quiet joy and a very strong desire to open this journal. Let's see what's behind this, for I do not know. For one thing, I'll be sharing a link to one of Grace Butler's video play-lists, where she turns book 1 of Life & Teachings of the Masters of the Far East into an audio book. I injoy her work, so be sure to open the written journal for that link. As it turns out, this book will rejuvenate the faith of many Christians , for these Eastern Masters actually taught their lessons in terms of Christianity. The books are really great, but perhaps I'll ad-lib about that when I record this. My Heart is going elsewhere with me, here. Perhaps the only way I have of sharing the perceived depth of the identity changes I am going through is to share that transiting Pluto sits precisely on my natal Sun, which represents our actual identity, as opposed to the ascendant which is about how we present to the world, not about who we really are. When we add in the long lasting square of Uranus to Pluto – and other equally challenging things – it's truly intense. With great

depth of honesty I can say I truly don't know who I am. I'm having to find something deeper than identity on which to rely. It's a very strange ride. Just now, though, I am in the grip of a strange, heart-centric joy that is very uplifting. It is not like what I've been used to calling that divine Joy I find ever present in Heart. It is somehow quieter, smaller – yet more intense. I don't know what it's about, just that it's different from what I've encountered, before. Yes, I am in process of losing everything . I don't say that about possessions or anything physical – but those things are transitory, anyway. They mean far less to me than internal things. I just don't live that much on 3D, so my values have moved on with me into spiritual things. Heck, many of you are with me in this. We've been this way, in potential if not openly, most of our lives. The interior things always meant more than anything tangible. So it's not so unusual. When I say “I'm losing everything” I don't know if I can explain what is meant. I can say it's all very strange . This joy may be related to the great joy I've found, the renewal of what some may call faith, in listening to the audio book 1 (of 5, but each one is self-contained). Everything is more and more backwards . Apparently it takes losing most or all of what we built our life and consciousness on to enter such joy. It just doesn't make logical sense – but I gave up on logic some few years ago, anyway, so that's not a problem. Yet it continues to be rather strange, and continually unexpected. Okay – seems to me what I'm getting is that I was just told something – I was told it in Heart – which means conscious mind doesn't have access , doesn't know what it is. Yet it brings me such specific joy . This joy seems to be a pin-point sort of thing – and no, I don't understand that, either. Everything goes by a sort of sensing , more akin to feelings, now. It's not your typical emotional stuff. Instead, it is Heart centered – feels more refined, higher dimensional, or something – I don't know (IDK). In leaving mind aside so much – preferring almost always to heart-

center, instead – a whole new system of some sort seems to be activating in my biology . Now, that is purely a guess about what may be going on, folks. You can look to me for precious few facts going forward. I'm doing my best to swim in this new sea I seem to have jumped into or been dumped into, LOL. All so strange. Guess I'm hoping there will be at least a few of you who can echo something of the flavor of what's happening, here. One thing that seems consistent is that we're coming into unity , so to take anything personally is likely to be a mistake. Nothing is personal, any more. It probably never was, but we just didn't know that. And while it might be nice to have more than just a clue about what's transpiring, both for me and for all of us, I'm at a point now where I just don't care about knowing anything. It will come when it needs to, and I know I have all I require at every point in time. I'm never lacking anything. This, too, is quite strange, but that's how it's working. This, too, may have always been the case – another of those things we weren't ready to see, so we didn't. IDK. Something is going on inside of me. It's like there's a being in there who is jumping up and down, rejoicing . It's so funny, because I don't even know why – what the subject is. I told you things were strange for me, right? Not that I need to produce evidence, for heaven's sake, since every other paragraph seems to document it. So all I can say is be sure to read and / or listen to this one from a centered space – be in Heart and not in head with it. From Heart we can more easily read the energies involved. While poor head must rely on logic, Heart has other ways to read what's going on – better ways, IMHO. Okay, maybe nothing of substance will come through this journal. I'm not getting anything clear enough to be useful to anyone's mind . And maybe that's the point. All of this that's going on with me has rather sternly almost forced me out of allegiance to logic and mind. It was hardest at first, when I saw my outer identity or persona begin to crack and crumble – all I had believed in go tumbling

down. It didn't take long to realized that, if I chose to hang on to any of that stuff – even though I once thought it was who I was – I would just go down with it , into what? I guess into oblivion, into despair, into nothingness. Again, IDK. The attack, if you will, on my 3D outer identity, was heavy handed for sure. Like Pluto's heavy-duty reputation – being lord of the underworld and all that – none of it was presented with options . “Inescapable” is an accurate word. So coming to terms with that – well, it didn't take so very long. It was that or go crazy. I chose that. For a while I guess I characterized it as being in the Valley of the Shadow of Death . It was, for a time, definitely a Dark Night of the Soul. There were even times when I was almost certain the body would not survive it, whatever it was that was transpiring. “Heavy” is a really apt word. With that lovely hindsight that is so often useful, I look back now and see more clearly what was going on. All of that suffering and pain was not being felt by the real and true me – who I truly am . All of that was the dying throes of what I now call the false self – the outer persona . So it was a legitimate death. That one did not survive. Strange. Yet with that death there was a lifting of – well, I don't know. Things are less heavy , now. It's like there was a dark cloud or a gray muffling energy blanket that I didn't even know was there – but now that it's gone I can see it. Something heavy has lifted – it is no more. There's a new sort of quiet freedom here, where I am. Before it was like I had less freedom – like being in mind was somehow mandatory. It took a couple of years of real effort, working against that, to train myself to spend more time in Heart. It was like slogging through mud, at times – not always, but overall. Now, there's a very natural Heart Presence that's pretty easy to maintain. There's an increased clarity , too – now, don't laugh. I'm talking about what I'm sensing here, not about a mental clarity, LOL. You know I don't yet have that – though if I ever need it, I'm sure it will appear. Funny, that – also strange, still. Does one ever get used to such stuff? Perhaps, but at this point, I

think not. One of the amazing and strange things about it is how everything is always so new, so fresh , somehow. To get used to something I guess means to carry the past around with you – which I definitely don't, as many of you well know. I embarrass myself that way a lot, but I've grown able to kind of injoy a laugh about it and go on. No big deal. Okay, so I won't win any genius awards these days – do I care? Not. It's all so very wonderful, I hardly know what to do with myself. Now, do realize this is that joy talking here. I have plenty of times that challenge me – physically, emotionally – that sort of thing. You know I'm just a regular Jane. Yet it's also different, somehow. IDK, maybe I'm sharing this too soon – it's so unclear. Just stay in Heart with it. I know there's something here. I can feel it. One thing I know – and if you don't already, you will too after listening to the audiobook – is that heaven is right here, where we are . So is 5 & 6D and all the rest – all right here – NowHere. What changes, my friends, is us – not the place where we are, not the externals at all – just us. It's all so bizarre , but heaven is right here, right now. What's required is a major shift in our vision – in our ability to see from Heart instead of from mind. We've been taught all wrong – taught how to perceive our world in ways that l ock us out of what is already here for us. I'm sure that's how many instantaneous miracles are able to happen – it's all right NowHere, always. Yet by our beliefs we've been trapped in a false mental view of the world. Nothing at all is what we think it is – up to and including the self that we're so sure we are. Not until we're willing to lay that false self down, and let it die – not until then will we be able to see what is already her for us. So very strange. It's so huge, too – so very huge, this great false pseudo-reality we've been somehow woven into – we've been taught to accept. Our acceptance is mandatory, of course. We are truly kings and queens, royalty of the Light – and we do have precious treasures like free will – treasures that must be respected. So we had to

give our agreement to the whole scene or it wouldn't have applied to us. We're that strong – powerful. So we assented to it – we agreed. We let them lay out our reality for us, and we bought into it. I guess we said, “What the heck, why not?” since, deep within, we always knew we were these powerful sovereigns. We couldn't truly be hurt. Made massively uncomfortable, sure – but not hurt. That One whom we all are – that One can never even be touched, never harmed. Anyway, we're waking up from the daze , now. Yeah, I know, from what I'm reporting here, that I sound kinda like I'm still in a daze – but it's different. It's an awakening daze , not a deadened, somnambulent one. If you're in Heart, you'll be tuning in to this. They're vastly different . Besides, I know quite a lot of you must be with me in this, at least to some extent or another. Heck, I may be lagging behind, for all I know – and that would be fine, too. OMG, it's like everything is just fine – deeply so . So very strange, but it just doesn't matter what happens, or what doesn't – it's all so beautifully fine. Who'd a thunk it, huh? Surely, not me. One of the things we lay aside with the mind – something that seems to be almost a part of mind – is time . Don't know that I can explain this, but some things seem to be happening in ways that violate time. I wish I could explain the very soft focus I have, that's been working for me. Then you'd see why my explanations have to be sort of soft or out of focus, too. Mind wants to grab onto things – to hold them tightly, to master them – to know things , in other words. And that's fine. Nothing wrong with that. But when I set mind aside – not put it away, just made it relatively far less important – I lost that crisp, clear 3D focus. It went with mind. It relied too much on time and sequence of events and I don't know what – it just didn't work in this new territory for me. I'm finding that, whenever mind and thought pop up, if I just let it go without even really looking at it, going straight back into Heart , that this works really well. It enables me to stay in Heart much more consistently . So now I view mind with this really soft or fuzzy focus – not really paying it much attention. Make sense?

Thus, I don't really ever let mind fully engage – grasp onto what it wants to view through it's particular lens – preferring to view all things from Heart. Heart's view is far more a sensing sort of thing. You tell the import, the relevance of things by the feel of them, pretty much. You don't give it the least bit of thought. That will be strange for most of us, but after some time you do get the hang of it – that is, if this is your cuppa tea. I don't suppose it will be for everyone. And it takes some time getting here, too. You've got to let quite a lot of things go along the way – things that got in the way of this all along. Things like thinking you know anything, LOL. So you wind up with a much softer, a far more Loving, focus on Life – on all of it. You actually find yourself falling in Love with Life – with every bit of it – with everyone. It's bizarre, but there ya go. What can I say? You know you don't know anything, so that brings on a nice crop of humility – which is also a very softening thing. You keep realizing the beauty of whatever it is you happen to gaze upon – you keep getting slain by that – by the awesomeness of it, the pure divine genius of it. You melt into it – you get lost in things, frequently – lost in admiring them – lost in grateful appreciation . Oh well – I suppose I've already dug myself in rather deeply, here. As usual, it didn't turn out to be anything like what thought might have imagined it would be, this journal. Am I surprised? Kinda. I've written thousands of these things. But I gave up on the logic that said there should be a certain – if not sameness – then at least a certain consistency in them. Don't know about you, but I don't find much of that. But I don't need it, you see. I don't need to make sense. Yeah, I know, that's throwing caution to the winds, but that's okay, too. Why not? Have I got so very much to lose by this? When you truly can't be hurt or harmed – well, you get braver, much braver, I guess. Heck, IDK. I'm just having fun :) Namaste ~♥~

PS There is some serious ad-libbing in the video that adds to what is here.


strange odd unusual, losing identity, set mind aside, soft fuzzy focus, quiet joy, no linear time, phase shifting, Life & Teachings of Masters of Far East, everything is perfect as is, Valley of Shadow of Death, death of false self, we know nothing, melting away, hold everything lightly, feeling or sensing, lost in gratitude & appreciation, Source God or Spirit, OWN being divine, watch and observe, awaken or enlighten, flexible perspective, Heart vision, surrender beliefs, abandon expectations

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